#reminds me of the jelly from spongebob

[snelbz]

Lost Time {16}

A/N: Another chapter with @tacmc! 

Elain took deep breaths in and out as she sat up on the examination chair. Azriel sat next to her, holding her hand. They’d been sitting in silence since they were escorted back, unable to control their nerves. Well, Elain’s nerves, anyways. Azriel seemed to be staying fairly calm as he scrolled through his phone with one hand and rubbed the back of her hand with the other. 

“Babe,” Azriel said, quietly, looking up at her through dark lashes. He put his hand on her knee, which was shaking uncontrollably. “You’re worrying too much.”

“I am not,” she said, but sighed. “Have you heard from your mom?”

He nodded, and held up his phone, showing her a picture of Donovan on the tire swing at the park in town.

The smile on her face as she looked down aher the screen. “He’s such a boy,” she chuckled. “It’s not even raining. Where did all that mud come from?”

Azriel huffed a laugh. “There’s no telling.” He brought her hand to his lips. “Are you okay?”

Taking a deep breath, Elain closed her eyes and nodded. “Just nervous,” she admitted, resting a hand on her still-flat stomach.

“Shouldn’t I be the nervous one?” He asked, a sparkle in his hazel eyes. “You’re the one who’s done this before?”

Azriel teased her relentlessly, but he had never been happier. He’d been walking on air since she told him the news.

Elain huffed a laugh. “Maybe so, but it’s my role to be nervous about the big things while you stay ridiculous calm. You only get nervous about weird stuff, like if you’re gonna get the garbage to the curb on time for the garbage man.”

Azriel grinned just as the door swung open and Yrene swept through the door. 

“Good morning!” She smiled, pulling a stool up to the side of the chair. “I heard you took a little bit of a fall a couple weeks ago and found out you were pregnant.” 

Elain nodded. “And I’ve been sick every morning since.”

Yrenes smile softened as she said, “As much as that sucks, it’s completely normal. Were you sick when you were pregnant with Novan?”

“No,” Elain answered, her grip tightening on Azriel’s hand. “Not really.”

Yrene nodded and smiled softly. “Well every pregnancy is different. Why don’t you lie back and lift your shirt and we’ll see if we can’t find where your little bean is hiding out in there.”

Elain nodded and did as she was told, taking Azriel’s hand as she closed her eyes and waited for the cold sensation of the ultrasound jelly on her stomach.

With a quiet gasp, she looked over at Azriel who was watching the still blank screen with an intensity she’d never seen. As the familiar whooshing filled the room, she couldn’t bring herself to tear her eyes from his face to even look at the screen. She felt Yrene moving the doppler over her skin, her gaze locked on Azriel.

And then a strong, steady heartbeat filled the room. Elain covered her mouth and blinked the moisture from her eyes. When she looked back at Azriel, tears were streaming down his face.

“There it is,” Yrene sang, and let them listen to it for a moment before it disappeared. “Nice, strong, healthy.”

Elain’s head fell back against the chair as she reached up to wipe Azriel’s tears away. He caught her hand in his and kissed her fingertips, softly. 

“For now, call me if you have any concerns, but I’ll see you again in a month for another check up, okay?” Yrene said, smiling fondly as she wiped the jelly off Elain’s abdomen and got up to wash her hands. “I’ll also send in a prenatal vitamin and some nausea medicine that will be ready for pick up this afternoon.”

“Wonderful,” Elain breathed, as Azriel helped her back up into sitting position. 

“Any other questions?” Yrene asked, waiting, just in case.

They looked at one another but shook their heads. 

“Thank you,” Azriel said, as he shook her hand. 

“Of course.” Yrene nodded. “It was good to see you both again.”

The door shut and Azriel was on his feet, pressing his lips to Elain’s and his hands gently brushing her stomach. “You’re amazing. I love you so much.”

She laughed softly, wiping his fresh tears as she said, “I didn’t do anything.”

“This,” he breathed, his hand covering her lower abdomen. “Our son. Our family. You’ve given me what I never expected to have.”

Her lip wobbled as she gently shoved against his chest. “You can’t say such sweet stuff to a pregnant woman.” 

With a quiet laugh, Azriel kissed her, once again, before he helped her up and held her hand to the checkout desk, where Elain made her follow up appointment. 

“Feel good enough to stop for lunch before we pick up Novan?” Azriel asked, once they got into his truck. “Mom says they’re not back from the park yet.” 

Elain let out a slow breath. “No. Nothing sounds good. I say we go to your mom’s and take a little nap while we wait.”

Azriel blinked as he put the truck in reverse. “A nap? Or, a nap?”

She rolled her eyes as she looked over at him. “An actual nap.” 

Azriel sighed, although that little smile remained on his lips. “Alright, fine.”

They drove in silence, the radio playing quietly between them, their fingers dancing along one another’s on top of Elain’s lap. Azriel couldn’t remember a time he had been so happy, if he had ever been so happy. It nearly felt like a dream, like he was living someone else’s life, and he had to remind himself from time to time that this was his life, his reality, that he had truly been so blessed.

It was a short drive to Miryam’s and once they arrived, Elain went right up the stairs and laid down. Az was only a few moments behind her, surprisingly falling asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. A short while later, he felt the smallest dip in the mattress and found Donovan crawling in behind him beneath the covers. He put a finger to his lips and whispered, “Are you sleepy?” He shook his head and Az said, “Let’s go see what Meme’s doing, yeah?”

“She’s making lunch,” he whispered.

Azriel scooped him up and breathed, “Thank the Cauldron,” and headed downstairs, cracking the door before they left.

“Why mama so tired?” Novan asked, his little arms wrapping around Azriel’s shoulders.

Azriel yawned as he said, “She...doesn’t feel too good.”

Donovan’s brows furrowed. “Mama’s sick?”

Azriel hesitated. They hadn’t planned on telling Donovan that Elain was pregnant for a while, but being the curious little man he was, it made sense that he had noticed the subtle changes in Elain, even if she tried to hide the fact that she was constantly tired and puking. 

“She’ll be okay, buddy,” Azriel promised, as they strode into the kitchen to find a plate full of grilled cheeses and tomato soup.

“Yummy!” Novan yelled, clapping his hands together, then remembering his mom was asleep, his hands flew over his mouth. “Ope. Sorry.”

Azriel chuckled as he set Novan down on the hardwood floor. “It’s okay. It’s understandable to be excited about such a delicious lunch.”

Miryam turned from where she was scooping soup into bowls, one brow lifted. “You’re in a good mood. I assume everything went well?”

Azriel grinned, nodding. “Yeah, it did.”

Miryam was the only one they had told. She smiled, excitement lighting her eyes, but not so much as to let Novan know something was up. Many more questions and he may very well figure it out, as smart as he was. “Good. Though we knew it would.”

She sat a plate in front of Novan with the crusts cut off and a bowl in the shape of Mickey Mouse and he looked up at his Meme with the biggest hazel eyes. Before Azriel could even ask, she sighed and said, “You have to be extra careful.” He nodded excitedly and she chuckled and said, “Okay, go. I’ll bring your lunch to you in just a minute.”

In an act that was purely his Uncle Cass, he threw his little fist in the air and ran to the living room.

Miryam explained, “I told him if he behaved all day, he could watch Spongebob with lunch. He, of course, did. And I had forgotten all about my promise until I was about fifteen minutes into making tomato soup. He, again, of course, had not forgotten.” She chuckled fondly. “So I’m going to go set up a tv-tray and a bunch of towels and turn Spongebob on for your son and then you’re going to fill me in on the appointment.”

Azriel laughed as he helped himself to some food and plopped down at the table. As he tore off a corner of his grilled cheese and dipped it in the soup, Spongebob’s laughter floated through the house. Miryam came back a second later and said, “I made him take off his shirt, or else it would be stained forever.”

Azriel grinned as he popped a piece of sandwich into his mouth. “A good call.” 

Miryam winked as she got herself a bowl and a plate. “So,” she began, ignoring her food and holding her hands on the tabletop. “You heard a heartbeat?” 

A small smile pulled on the corner of his mouth. “It was the most beautiful sound I’ve ever heard.”

She grinned. “And I assume that’s about all you heard. Everything else is too early to tell, we’ll see you in a month?”

He dunked another bite of cheesy bready goodness into his soup and nodded as Novan’s quiet laughter could be heard from the other room. “That’s about verbatim what she said.”

Azriel continued to eat his sandwich, occasionally glancing over his shoulder at the tv, smiling as his son watched the very same cartoons he’d grown up enjoying with his brothers. It was only when he was about to get up to grab a second sandwich that he realized Miryam hadn’t touched her sandwich yet or her soup. And that she was crying.

“Mom,” he breathed, reaching across the table and taking her hand.

She shook her head. “Don’t fuss, they’re happy tears. Proud tears, honestly.” She used her napkin to dab at her eyes. She stood and placed a hand on Azriel’s cheek. “I know how bad you felt, knowing that you missed this with Donovan. I know how much you wished you could have been there for Elain.” He closed his eyes, but it wasn’t fast enough to stop the tear that ran down his cheek. “But I know how much you wish you could have been there for all of those things, from hearing his heartbeat to holding her hand in the delivery room. You missed those things.” Azriel stood and wrapped his arms around his mother, regardless of the fact that she was nearly half his size. “Now you both get to experience this as you should have. You get to experience it together and I’m so happy for you.”

The quiet sob that left Azriel was the only sound in the kitchen and his arms tightened around her. “Damn it, mom,” he breathed, chuckling quietly. “I’m not supposed to be the emotional one.”

She chuckled as she leaned back and looked at him. “You’ve always been my emotional one. Look at your brothers.”

It was true.

Azriel had always felt it all. 

“I keep waiting for myself to wake up,” he confessed, shaking his head. Then his smile faltered. “I wish dad was here.”

Miryam’s eyes softened as she cupped her son’s face. “He is. And he’s proud of you, too.”

Every thread that was holding Azriel together came apart as he nodded, then laid his head on his mother’s shoulder and cried, overwhelmed with emotions, his heart completely and utterly full.

____ 

After a quick phone call to Feyre to see what their plans were the rest of the evening, it was decided that Novan would get yet another night at Meme’s and Az and Elain would go over to Rhys and Feyre’s for dinner.

“Are you sure?” Elain asked as they were getting ready to leave. “We can stop by on our way home, pick him up-.”

“I want him here, Elain,” she said, taking her hand. The looked back to where he was building the world’s largest Lego tower in the living room. “Only a few more months before he’s not the only grandbaby, and then a few more after that and he’ll really have to start battling for the spotlight.” She winked and Elain couldn’t help but smile as she hugged her.

“Thank you,” she whispered. Turning to Az, she said, “I’ll be in the truck, okay?”

He nodded, pressing a kiss to her head as she left the two of them on my front porch. When he heard the truck roar to life, he looked at Miryam and smiled. “I’m going to ask her to marry me again.”

“And do you think she’ll say yes?” Miryam teased.

Azriel chuckled as he looked down at his shoes. “Is it weird that I’m more nervous now than I was the first time?”

Miryam lifted her son's chin so that he met her gaze. “You love her, and you’re ready, I can see it.”

Azriel smiled. “It’s all I want. Her, my wife. All of us, a family.”

“I know,” she breathed. “You both deserve that happiness.”

Azriel nodded and gave his mother one last hug before hurrying toward the truck.

“What was that about?” Elain asked, as he pulled himself into the passenger seat.

He just raised his brows, eyeing Elain behind the wheel. “Have I ever told you how sexy you look when you drive my truck?”

She rolled her eyes, saying nothing but “Put on your seatbelt,” and backed out of the driveway.

Less than twenty minutes later, they were knocking on Feyre and Rhysand’s front door. Feyre opened the door, carrying their twelve week old black retriever in her arms. “Hey, come in! Someone decided to spill her entire water dish all over the kitchen,” she said, shooting a glance at the happy pup. They laughed and followed her inside, where Rhys was on his hands and knees, towels all over the hardwood. He gave them a wave and then he was back to the wiping. “Pizza should be here any minute,” she said, plopping back on the couch and taking a sip from her glass of wine. “Lainy, there’s a bottle of pinot in the fridge.”

“No, thanks, it’s my turn to drive since we’re picking Donovan up on the way home,” she sighed, glancing at Az, who’d began heading for the kitchen. They knew Feyre would offer wine as soon they got here, so they went with the only excuse they knew no one in the family would question.

“Boo,” she said, sticking her tongue out at Azriel, who was popping the top off of a beer Rhys had handed to him. He blew her a kiss and threw her a vulgar gesture in the most loving way possible.

“Rhys, I want a puppy,” he was muttering when Az leaned his hip against the counter. He had to admit, Rhysand’s Feyre impression was spot on. “I promise I’ll take care of it.”

He snorted, “Okay, grumpy.” 

“I swear, puppies are just as hard to take care of as newborns,” Rhysand mumbled, rubbing his temples. “That little furball woke me up five times last night, Az. Five. Times.” 

Azriel grinned as he put the bottle to his lips. “Feyre seems happy, though.”

Rhysand’s eyes softened. “She is. She loves that thing. And that’s all that matters.” The puppy ran into the kitchen and jumped up on Rhysand’s legs, tail wagging wildly. Rhysand sighed. “You are cute. Yes you are. Yes you are.”

“Holy shit, you’re a dog person,” Azriel muttered. “Didn’t see that coming.”

The vulgar gestures continued as Rhysand shot Azriel one before strutting into the living room to sit on the couch next to Feyre.

He helped himself to a bottle of water in the fridge before following Rhysand’s lead and sitting on the arm of the chair Elain sat in. He handed her the bottle, which she gratefully took.

The doorbell rang and Lila’s little bark ran through the house as she took off towards the door.

“So what did y’all get into today?” Feyre asked as Rhys headed for the door, scoping the pup up in his arms.

“Oh, uh,” Azriel began, rubbing the back of his neck. “We...took a nap.”

Feyre waited for him to continue, and when he didn’t, she blinked. “That’s it? You took a nap?”

Azriel looked down to Elain, wondering if she wanted to go on with the charade or get everything out in the open, but she was staring at her hands and Azriel could see the battle that was brewing inside of her.

“Mom also made grilled cheese sandwiches and soup,” Azriel went on, but Feyre’s brows were furrowed as she watched Elain. “Novan and I watched Spongebob.”

Rhysand came back with two large pizzas and set them on the coffee table, Lila on his heels. He was eyeing each of them suspiciously, even the dog, as he turned the hockey game on and grabbed paper plates from the kitchen. Returning, he sat down by Feyre, noting that Elain wouldn't even meet Azriel’s eye.

Sensing Elain wasn’t ready, grabbed a couple plates and filled them each with pizza. “What about y’all? Any excitement today?”

As if knowing her time to shine was approaching, Lila sat on the floor, whining and begging for access to the couch and to the double pepperoni pizza Rhys was about to put into his mouth.

Feyre blinked, chuckling at the dog, and was about to answer Azriel when Elain clamped a hand over her mouth and ran into the small half-bath off the living room. The sound of retching filled the room.

Before either of the could react, Azriel blurted, “Elain is pregnant.”

The room fell into silence, the only sound able to be heard coming from Elain in the bathroom. She had undoubtedly heard him, and would undoubtedly be pissed, but Azriel had never been good at keeping secrets. 

His lips snapped shut as he waited for either of them to react, but they were both just staring at him, pizza midway to their mouths. He wasn’t sure how much time had passed, but the door to the bathroom opened, and Elain came out, pale and staring daggers at Azriel.

“Sorry,” he whispered.

Snapping back into reality, Feyre looked over at Elain. “El, you’re pregnant?”

She nodded. “We weren’t sure how to tell you, with everything that’s-.”

Feyre was throwing her arms around Elain before she even had a chance to finish her sentence. “I’m so happy for you,” she breathed.

Elain buried her face in her little sister’s hair. “I’m so sorry, Feyre.”

She pulled back, still holding Elain, but looking from her to Az and finally to Rhys. “It’s okay,” she breathed and when Elain’s eyes began to fill with tears and she shook her head, Feyre added, “It really is. We’ve… We’ve done a lot of talking and praying and thinking and…”

Feyre was choking up, which only made Elain cry harder so Rhys explained, “We’re going to adopt, rather than force something that’s not meant to happen for us.” Feyre looked back at him and laughed quietly. His eyes softened as he said, “I told her last night that if we can’t make a baby the good, old fashioned way, then we’d look at our other options. And there are kids all over Prythian that need a loving home.”

Elain was still crying, but she asked, “You’re not upset with us?”

“Upset?” Feyre breathed. “Lainy, you’re growing your family, how would that make us upset? Just because we can’t conceive doesn’t mean that we’re not thrilled for you. I get another niece or nephew to love unconditionally and spoil the shit out of?” She reached up to wipe her sister’s tears away. “I’m so happy. Congratulations, both of you.” 

Elain buried her face into Feyre’s shoulder as Rhysand clapped Azriel on the shoulder. “Congrats.”

“Thanks,” Azriel smiled, watching the two sisters cry together. “Adoption, huh?”

Rhysand nodded, thoughtfully. “It was the best thing that had ever happened to us, right? Being adopted. I don’t know how we would have turned out otherwise.”

Azriel blew out a harsh breath. He and Cass had talked in length about it a night a few weeks back, after many, many shots of whiskey. None of the options were great and as one of the detectives on the force, Cass was dedicated to ensuring no child ever ended up in the situations they had.

“Not a word to Nesta,” Elain said, following Feyre to the couch and sitting next to her, her younger sister unwilling to let go of her hand. Elain caught Azriel’s eyes and smiled. She continued, “You’re the first ones we told. Aside from Miryam, of course.”

“Of course,” Rhys laughed. “It’s not like mom wouldn’t have figured it out again anyways.”

“Again?” Az asked, an eyebrow raised. He looked at Elain.

“She’s the one who shoved a pregnancy test in my hands and locked me in the bathroom until I took it,” Elain explained, hesitantly nibbling on a bite of pizza. He nodded, a fond smirk growing.

“Forget Nesta,” Feyre interrupted. “How are you going to tell Donovan?”

Elain and Azriel looked at one another, and when neither one had an answer, they began to laugh. 

“I’ve thought of about ten different ways to tell him,” Elain explained, “but, I have no idea.”

“We’ll tell him soon, though,” Azriel followed. “Somehow.”

“I assume we’ll get the how are babies made question, and I’m not looking forward to coming up with an appropriate answer,” Elain said, taking another nibble from her pizza.

Azriel grinned. “It’s true, he’s incredibly inquisitive.” 

“Too much for his own good,” Elain agreed.

“How far along are you?” Rhys asked, tearing his leftover crusts into bites and trying to give them to Lila without Feyre seeing. She absolutely did.

“I’ll be twelve weeks on Monday,” Elain said, taking a sip of her water and standing. She lifted the oversized sweatshirt she was wearing and Feyre nearly squealed as she beheld the small but defined bump where Elain’s usually flat stomach was. She ran a finger over her existing stretch marks. There would be plenty more after this was all over and she smiled fondly.

“You sure there’s only one in there?” Rhys asked, and Azriel raised a hand.

“Nope, no, no, no, I’ve experienced this conversation before,” he explained. “Nesta cried and I hated every second of it.”

“We haven’t ruled twins out yet,” Elain said, and Azriel turned to stare at her.

“We haven’t what now?”

She laughed and shrugged. “Yrene said we should keep an open mind about it. I am progressing pretty quickly.”

He blinked. “But we only heard one heartbeat today.”

Rolling her eyes and rubbing a loving hand over her still exposed stomach, she said, “We only looked for one because someone started crying in the middle of the appointment.”

Rhys muttered, “Burn,” before putting his beer to his lips.

“Shut up,” Azriel mumbled. “I’m just saying… twins…is…”

Elain raised a brow when he didn’t continue.

Feyre looked back and forth between them, amused.

“A lot,” Azriel finished.

“Smooth,” Rhysand mumbled, giving Lila another bite from his crust. 

“Shut up,” Azriel repeated. 

“Would twins be so bad?” she asked, hands on her hips. 

Azriel shook his head, lips pressed together. “No. Nope. It would be...so great.” 

“I sense the panic in your voice,” Rhysand whispered. 

Azriel slowly looked at his brother. “Who invited you?” 

Rhysand’s responding grin made Feyre laugh.

Elain’s eyes had softened as she said, “After we go to our parenting classes, I think you’ll feel a little more confident.”

Azriel nodded, although he wasn’t so sure about that. He couldn’t say that he was necessarily excited to start parenting classes, even though he had never so much as held a newborn baby.

“Let’s revisit that Nesta thing,” Rhys said, trying to break the tension. It worked. Elain rolled her eyes.

Before she could reply, Feyre raised an eyebrow said, “Think she’ll accuse you of trying to steal her thunder again?”

“Oh gods,” Azriel chuckled, tossing his entire crust to the pup. She ran to the corner and began tearing pieces off of it like a savage.

“That’s enough pizza for her, you two,” Feyre said, pointing at the two boys and then the pup.

Elain rolled her eyes, remembering when Nesta had been voted homecoming queen, her senior year. When Elain had been voted to the sophomore court, she threw a fit and Feyre was thankfully she hadn’t been in high school quite yet. “I sure as hell hope not. This isn’t as easy as picking an ugly dress and hoping no one voted for me at the dance.”

Azriel chuckled as he remembered that they, indeed, had voted for Elain, ugly dress and all. He also remembered how he’d taken her virginity that night, but that was a different memory for a different time.

“We’re grown up now,” Feyre said, shrugging. “She’ll be happy their baby has someone close to their age.”

Rhys raised an eyebrow. “Before or after she yells at Az for knocking Elain up out of wedlock again?”

The sip of water Elain had been drinking sprayed out of the empty couch.

Azriel’s face fell into his hands. “Ah, shit.” 

Elain’s cheeks had turned a bright shade of pink as Feyre said, “This time, Nesta can’t say anything. Her and Cass aren’t married, either.”

“But they were engaged,” Rhysand pointed out.

Azriel looked up at him. “Are you insistent on being a pain in the ass tonight?”

Rhysand chuckled. “I’m tipsy, sleep deprived, and this is the first time I’ve eaten today, what did you expect?” 

Lila was back by Rhysand’s feet, tail wagging, waiting to see if he’d slip her some more pizza. Azriel was trying to get his attention, but he was too distracted blowing into the puppy’s face. “Rhys, you want another beer?”

“Yeah, that’d be great.” He drained the one in his hand and sat it on the coffee table.

“Cool, then come get one.” Azriel walked into the kitchen and got two beers out, waiting for him to follow.

“Dick move, baby brother,” he mumbled, scratching the back of his head and yawning as he crossed the threshold. He froze when he saw what else was in his hands. “You’re not supposed to propose to me, you’re supposed to propose to her.” Then Rhysand blinked and said, “Wait, that’s Elain’s ring.”

Azriel nodded. “Figured I’d surprise her when we got home.”

Rhysand was shaking his head, “No, man, you don’t understand. We’ve been driving to every pawnshop in Night county looking for that fucking ring.”

Azriel blinked, “What do you mean?”

Rhys glanced over at the girls in the living room before hollering, “Babe, I’m gonna show Az...something...in the garage…”

The chatter got quiet before Feyre said, “Okay? Have fun?”

Azriel was shaking his head and followed Rhys out to the garage. “How are you such a good lawyer?”

Rhys shut the door behind them. “Lucien pawned Elain’s ring without her knowledge. That’s why she passed out at work. She went into shock when she found out.”

Azriel was blinking. “I bought this the week I came back to town. I found it at the shop in the square.”

Rhys was shaking his head and held up a finger, opening the door. “Feyre, come show Az that piece you’ve been working on.”

His holler was met with silence at first, then she repeated, “Okay?”

Soft footsteps padded towards them and when she came down the steps, she said, “You two are acting really weird, what’s going-?” She froze when she saw what was in his hand. “Az, where the hell did you find that?”

“Got it at the shop in the square when I got back into town.” The words rushed out of him as he repeated what he’d already told Rhysand. “Lucien pawned the ring?”

Rhysand and Feyre nodded. 

“And that’s why she went into shock?” His words were quiet, and even though the other two nodded, yet again, he was sorting the thoughts out more with himself than them. “She said they’d fought, but not about that.” 

He looked down at the ring in his fingers and frowned. All this time, he had thought that Elain had pawned it - and he would have understood it if she had. Out of all the things he deserved when he came back, a pawned ring ranked low on the list. But, Elain had kept it all this time, and Lucien had pawned it?

Azriel was seeing red.

“I know that look,” Rhysand mumbled. “That’s not a good look, get that look off your face.”

“What look?” Azriel was seething.

“The look like you’re thinking about doing something really fucking stupid,” Rhysand replied, without any hesitation.

He shook his head. “I just want to talk to him.”

“Azriel, no,” Feyre said, stepping up and forcing her to look at him. “Listen, what he did was shitty. Ask Elain, none of us were real big fans of their relationship. We accepted it because we thought it made her happy. But you’re back, and you’re together, and you’re not seventeen anymore. You can’t just go beat his ass when he’s done something to piss you off.”

“Oh, he pissed me off a long time ago,” Azriel interjected.

“I know that,” she sighed. “But Az, you’ve got Novan and you’ve got a new baby on the way. You can’t stress Elain out by getting thrown in jail again.”

Rhysand looked inclined to agree with Az, but he said, “She’s right. However pissed about it you are, you’ve got to let it go. You have the ring. You got the girl. It’s over.”

Azriel stayed silent for a moment before letting out a long, slow breath. He put the ring back in his pocket before reaching up to rub his temples. Yes, he wanted to beat Lucien’s ass, was pissed as hell, but Feyre was right. Going to start something and getting tossed in jail as a result would help absolutely no one, especially Elain. He didn’t want Novan seeing that shit, either.

“Fine,” he said, at last, and then Elain’s quiet footsteps were coming through the hall. 

“Where did everyone go?” she asked, her voice light, cheery. Lila was there too, once Elain appeared, wagging her tail. She took one look at them all in the garage and halted. “Why are you all standing in here?” 

“We were just coming back inside,” Azriel smiled, although he was sure she knew something was off, even though he tried to sound as light-hearted as possible.

Even though she was clearly confused, Elain nodded after Az pressed a kiss to her forehead and they all headed back in. After the hockey game ended, Az rubbed Elain’s back, where she was curled up against him, and asked, “You ready to head home?”

Feyre was long asleep, her head asleep on the arm rest and her feet in Rhysand’s lap. Lila was curled up somewhere in the blanket Feyre was wrapped up in, but he had no idea where. Elain nodded and stood stretching and rubbing a hand over her stomach. “Rhys, can I take a piece of that cheese pizza home?” She bit her lip. “It sounds so good now.”

He chuckled and said, “You can take the whole thing.”

She smiled and after hushed goodbyes, they were on their way. The drive home was quiet and when Az parked in front of the house, he found Elain looking at him. “What?”

She reached over and ran her thumb over his stubble and lips and then crawled over to him and straddled him. His eyebrows raised and he said, “Well, hello.”

“Hello,” she smiled, her lips already brushing against his.

They quietly kissed for a minute, never getting too forward, both of them just enjoying the feeling of being together. Azriel pulled away, and was about to open the truck door and carry her inside, when she breathed, “Marry me, Az.”

He stilled, then hesitated. “What?”

She laughed, quietly. “Marry me.” Her fingers ran through his hair. “I want to be your wife, Az. I should’ve been your wife years ago. It’s time. Marry me, please.”

She watched him for a moment, and when he didn’t say anything, her smile slowly began to fade. “What?” she whispered. “Don’t you want to marry me?”

“What?” Azriel repeated. “No, yes, no, El.” His words fell off, and he laughed, quietly. “Baby, of course I do, are you kidding me?” 

“You didn’t say anythi-.”

Azriel shifted so that he could pull the ring out of his pocket. For a moment, he held it in his fist, then Elain looked down, puzzled, and asked, “Az?”

He slowly opened his hand, revealing the same ring he had given her so many years ago.

“How did you-?”

“It doesn’t matter,” he breathed. “I was going to put this ring back on your finger by the end of the night anyways, you just sort of stole my thunder by asking before I could.”

She was shaking her head. “Where did you find that?”

He cupped her face and said, “I found this the same day I bought Novan his camera. Baby, I don’t care how it ended up there, whether it was you or Lucien or the Cauldron itself. What matters is where it is now and where it will stay.” He slid the ring on her finger, back where it had been all those years ago. “We’ll have this baby, get married and be the family we’ve always dreamed of. Donovan is going to be the best big brother and I’m going to be the husband I always promised you I would be. I love you so much.”

Elain threw her arms around his neck, kissing him with everything she had, hoping he’d understand that the kiss was saying the words she couldn’t, not as the tears ran freely down her cheek.

Eventually they got out of the truck, made their way inside and found themselves in bed. As they laid there, Azriel drawing lazy shapes on her bare back, she sat up and said, “I’ve sort of...got a crazy idea.”

Azriel’s eyebrows rose. “Why does the sound of that terrify me?”

Elain smiled and said, “Trust me, I think you’ll like this one.”

#lost time #snelbz lost time #snacmc #snelbz tacmc collab #elriel lost time #elriel #acotar #acomaf #acowar #acofas #acosf

[justtiredaahh]

My favorite thing is that songs have taste (but not like synesthesia). How when I listen to the Island Song from Adventure Time I can taste the buttered bread my grandparents would always give me. Since I didn’t have Cartoon Network at my house it was the only place I could watch it. Or how the Spongebob theme song taste like rice crispy cereal and peanut butter jelly toast since it’s what I would have for breakfast at my grandparents. Then the opening to Over the Garden Wall tastes like cinnamon apple cider because during quarantine I would open my windows huddle up in a blanket and drink warm apple cider as I would watch it. It’s just amazing how memories are so connected to senses like how goldfish and grapes always remind me of summer cause those were my favorite snacks. I just think it’s neat.

#adventure time #over the garden wall #food #nostalgia #I mean I guess it counts as a form of nostalgia I’m not exactly sure #island song

[scorpiofangirl1109]

My Cats OC Part 33

part 32- https://scorpiofangirl1109.tumblr.com/post/645961006637613056/my-cats-oc-part-32

hi everyone! this will be a quick update but I wanted to write something different for this update! this is another cats human au headcanon but this time i decided to focus on just some fun facts about kiki for this one. 

the oldest i have made kiki up to this point is six years old so i am going to base these facts off those facts. hope you enjoy

facts: 

* birthday: 

november 9th 

* zodiac sign: 

scorpio 

* favorite color: 

pink or purple

* favorite food: 

pasta

* favorite animal: 

cats 

* favorite books: 

as a toddler kiki loved books like goodnight moon, corduroy, the rainbow fish, blueberries for sal and the arthur picture books 

at age 6 kiki loves fairytales, the berenstain books, still loves the arthur books but also has started to like chapter books such as the junie b jones books

* favorite movies:

beauty and the beast is kiki’s absolute favorite movie. but she also loves frozen, moana, any other disney princess movie. but she also loves toy story and monsters inc, 

* favorite tv shows:

as a toddler kiki was absolutely obsessed with sesame street and loved the show so much. she liked a few other shows like arthur and things like that but sesame street was always her absolute favorite

but at six kiki loves spongebob a lot and she’s totally obsessed now

* kiki loves to dance, she was put into a toddler dance class when she was 2 and a half because she was always pretending she was a ballerina and she loves dance class a lot. especially when she has gotten to wear pretty costumes for her dance recitals

* kiki is not a morning person whatsoever. it is extremely hard to wake her up in the morning. it takes several attempts to get her out of bed in the morning and kiki will not talk in the morning because she is often cranky.  

* kiki has a stuffed cat named fluffy, which was a gift from her uncle tugger and uncle misto. they gave it to her when she was born and kiki loves fluffy so much. at home it is rare to see kiki without fluffy close by. she wants fluffy with her when she watches tv, plays with he toys, etc. kiki will refuse to sleep without fluffy by her side. and it is hard for munkustrap and demeter to get kiki to give up her cat so they can clean the stuffed animal. 

* kiki is extremely close with her extended family on both munkustrap’s side and demeter’s side. she sees them very often and they are important figures in her life. she does not have one specific person she is closest to as she loves her entire family so much

* kiki loves to play dress up and has several dresses of the disney princesses she loves, she often tries to wear them to school and gets upset when demeter or munkustrap gently remind her that she cannot wear her princess dress to school

* kiki has severe food food allergies to peanuts, nuts, and coconuts. munkustrap is very good about checking any food he gives to kiki to ensure they won’t cause her to have an allergic reaction. because kiki’s allergies are very serious she has to have an epi-pen for her allergies. 

* one of the places kiki loves to go to are the park as he loves to ride the carousel at the park and play on the playground. she goes often with her parents but also her grandparents, great aunt (aka nanny jelly), and her aunts and uncles will take her sometimes and she always has fun no matter what. but she also loves going to the zoo and aquarium, they are two of her favorite places

alright that is part 33! it is short for now but i may do a part 2 of this sometime soon! let me know what you guys thought! i will see you all for part 34!

#cats the musical #cats oc #jellicle oc #oc #original character #oc fun facts #cats human au #cats human au headcanon #kiki cats oc #cats musical oc headcanon #oc headcanon

[ninja-go-to-therapy]

The Ninja as Things My Friends and I Have Said

My friend keeps a quote-book and I thought y’all would enjoy this lol

Jay: say your last words to me, I’m about to be smited

Jay: I am so bright, I am star

Kai: Pickles and Dick Jay: Pickle my dick? Kai: PICKLE AND DICK! Lloyd: TICKLE MY DICK?

Kai: I want to play hot potato with a hand grenade

Lloyd: this chocolate milk mocks me

Kai: Can we all agree that when Jay walks he looks like a flamboyant gay drag-queen toddler

Lloyd, looking at a tampon: is that a cheese stick?

Kai: Where you at you little hoe?

Cole: Don’t do gay it’s not healthy 

Jay: I live life as a pirate. Because a pirate is free

Jay: The sun's only up for half the year in Alaska Cole: We have that too. It's called nighttime

Morro: Lick his nuts, they have a sorta Mexican flavor

Kai: I need to be surrounded with seven beautiful naked women in order to sleep at night

Lloyd: You know how there's like a line between bravery and stupidity? Nya: Jay is that line

Jay: Disclaimer: I am an anxious bean

Wu: It’s not your fault but it is your problem

Cole: I can't keep a straight face anymore. It's gay now.

Lloyd: That was such a late reaction it could've been my dad coming back

Zane: DISCO PENIS

Kai: I wanna stand around and look GORGEOUS

Kai: I'm outrageously good-looking Zane: No you’re not

Lloyd: I admit when I'm wrong! Kai: Oh yeah. But I'm like never wrong!

All of the ninja, always: It would be so much fun to hurt a bad person

Zane: what state do I live in? Jay: depression

Kai: cool onesie... can I get inside it?

Lloyd: They call me Santa. I bring snow to the children.

Kai: Don't fucking giggle you little shit.

Nya: I will beat you with a meat stick

Cole: You moan more than the dumpster out back

Wu: Don't stick the plungers on your foreheads!

Garmadon: whY are you SMelLING the plungers?

Zane: How does one piss in a watermelon?

Lloyd: When I become 99 pounds I'm going to eat a pound of chicken nuggets so I can be 1% chicken nugget. It's indisputable.

Cole: It smells like SHIT. Like it smells kinda okay now, but it still smells like shit. So it's like. Perfumeshit

Jay: Your socks are untied

Lloyd: Morro can just molest himself

Jay: Can you please not get a fucking locker smaller than my self esteem

Zane: You be smellin your own shit soon Jay: I already do Zane: Get it? Cause your mom gay. Everyone: ...what?

Lloyd: My name's Lloyd and I wear shoes sometimes

Nya: Unlike Skylor, they actually like balls

Kai: Fuck fuck fucking fuck fucking fucktown

Jay. I’m about to go commit space heater in bathtub

Kai: Vaccines make you gay

Lloyd: It’s not because I’m Asian, its because I eat rice so much

Zane: Hi. I’m Zane. ... my dick fell off

Kai, to Lloyd: Your dad is my fuckbuddy. ... wait. Shit.

Lloyd: You didn’t miss. You hit me right in the fucking nipple.

Kai: Eat my dick

Nya. Bite off your own dick

Cole: Your face looks like you're trying to make your dick fall off

Lloyd: So we were sitting watching TV eating macaroni with a fruit roll-up soaking my feet in a trashcan

Jay: I’m gonna go commit visit Pompeii in time machine

Jay: How can spiders fall from the ceiling and just skrrrrt away

Kai: Because none of us can speak proper sentences

Kai: Hold on. I'm sending a meme. I can't fight.

Jay: Engulf your own dick

Jay: Please don’t have a Boston tea party in my back yard

Kai: Still it felt like I committed a minor crime in Iran with all the water in my nose

Jay: Sensei Wu, please throw scissors... I kinda wanna die

Kai: I got royally fucked

Jay: Get your meaty luscious legs

Jay: The fuck you mean take my pants off? They're always on! Cause no one wants me to take them off!

Lloyd, picking up a napkin and seeing food fall out: IT’S BIRTHING 

Zane, threateningly: Give me your kidneys 

The Overlord: Where is your technology stored?

Zane: I can balance my body on my boner and spin like a beyblade

Kai: My balls are not a muscle

Cole: So apparently I'm not the only one with asymmetrical balls. Lloyd: Wait actually? Cole: Well yesterday Kai gave us a very descriptive description of his balls

Zane, sarcastically: Gosh darn don’t you hate it when you're not allowed to bring your 5 dollar footlong subway to training

Lloyd: So he poked me in the back with a pencil and my third grade self was like, "BLASPHEMY"

Kai: You.... dickmuncher

Jay: We're playing infinity Life. It's like Life but the cars are infinity stones.

Kai: I could have divine gay sex and it would still be nohomo.

Cole, during some super serious training: Bake me into a pie daddy

Kai: a compliment sandwich, like this: I like your shoes, YOU SUCK, your eyes are pretty

Zane, to Lloyd: Don't KILL her! Too much paperwork!

Jay: Stop moving your butt. It's uncomfortable when you clench it

Cole: The STICK.. will be UP YOU! Kai: My ASS is your spot!

Jay, teaching Kai to roller skate: First, we master walking  

Kai: I know I’m beautiful and perfect and amazing and huMBLE

Lloyd: I'm here for a good time, not a long time.

Cole: I'm allergic to emotions!

Zane: Yeet is not a valid Scrabble word

Kai: I love myself 3000. And you should, too. Love yourself, that is. Unless you wanna love me as well, cause that’s cool too.

Zane: Is doing drugs illegal

Lloyd: Post-traumatic stress? More like spicy memories

Jay: Be quiet so I can see

Cole: Why is my wallaber grinding its ass on the floor?

Kai: Whatever, my ass cheeks are balanced ... just as all things should be

Garmadon: IT WOULD BE SO MUCH FUN TO MAKE SOMEBODY THINK YOU WERE GONNA HIT THEM WITH YOUR CAR!

Sensei Garmadon: First of all, nobody says they're fine when they're good

Lloyd, getting himself a donut: A chocolate frosted donut for a chocolate frosted child

Nya, about Harumi: I just loathed her at first sight. Like your dad!

Morro, about Lloyd: He reminds me of a cucumber.

Cole, after becoming human again: I’m like Jesus... I thirst

Lloyd, sipping apple juice out of a shot glass: I'm just... done, ya know

Jay: Zane was eating my popcorn and I was like "hey that's my popcorn!" And he looks me dead in the eye and goes "surprise communism!"

Lloyd: I consumed a spatula

Jay: I almost burned down my house making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich

Zane, after Jay climbs on his back: Unmount me you heathen.

Kai: Yeah it's been such a dick-licking long time

Karlof: In Metalonia we do not have sister, we have brother with pussy

Zane: I want to delete my meatsack

Little Lloyd: At about 10 I was so hungry so I went to the med tent and pretended to be fainting so I got crackers

Garmadon: Before we leave I'm gonna sing a Disney song to attract all the females. Especially Misako

Jay, about to get sunburned: I know right, sunscreen is gross, you look like a glazed donut after you put it on

Cole: I like nuts but not that much. ... both kinds... I like my own nuts.

Zane: Hi I’m Zane and I’m the only one in this group with any form of common sense

Lloyd: Oh there's just someone throwing up over there! Kai: That’s hot

Cole, having a cashew thrown at him: I don’t want to swallow your nut ... I DON’T WANT YOUR NUT

Lloyd: My uncle is  going to sacrifice my body

Kai: Okay. You ALL can eat MY ass

Lloyd: A picture will last longer than your family will

Garmadon: That last rep was like a hydroflask and this one was like a kleankanteen

Kai: I bet for a second he was like "oh my God they care about me"

Kai: Because no one would be ballsy enough, no pun intended, to whip his dick out and piss on a crowded bus

Jay: Fuck a duck Lloyd: Please just dont ..ff... a duck Jay: But the duck likes it. It goes quackquackquackQUACKAFLACK.

Lloyd: Digiorno? More like I'm fucking hungry

Lloyd: My socks are so wet tis but a small price to pay for salvation

Kai: No means no muchacho

Dareth after failing at spinjitzu: Now I'm just dizzy and my ass hurts

Zane: I said, Cole, don’t orgasm in public, it’s rude, and Cole started moaning as loud as humanly possible

Lloyd: Say cheese! Kai: Whiskey!

Jay: Who the fucking dammit

Jay: Spongebob square-nuts

Jay: Actual- ACTUALLY it WOULDN’T make me more of a smartass because my SMART has yet to be caught up with my ASS

Lloyd: I hate it when my foot becomes the itch

Kai: STDs are like pokemon, you gotta catch em all

Kai: Here y’all are like "I like them 'cause of how they hold themselves and whatnot" and I’m just like “GIRL PRETTY"

Cole: I hate it whenever my foot becomes the gay.

Kai: I’m shit at being a person, not a shit person.

Zane: Buses turn me on

Jay: No pissing in our VSCO hangout!

Lloyd: Are y’all on high?

Kai: Its gotta warm up to start lavaing, now it’s just lamping.

Kai, crying: When I was crawling through the sewer my hair got stuck in my knee pit and ripped out a chunk

Lloyd, deepthroating a plastic recorder: I’m blonde so naturally, I'm good at this

Kai: I’m depressed. I’m stressed. But at least I’m well-dressed.

Lloyd: Nom nom milk carton

Cole, playing Life: Give me children

Jay, on a Thursday: If Friday was a Tuesday, it would be today

Kai: We're eating lotion and calling it spicy butter ... it’s spiritually spicy

Kai: I don’t fucking know! I'm not a cheese wheel!

Zane: Beepbeep bitch what's that? My lie detector smells a lie

Lloyd: I aced two tests today! The PSAT and the rice purity test!

Pixal: I don't really get the phrase "dry as bones" because your bones are in fact, wet

Cole: Kai, Kai, we can draw you as one of those anime girls. With humungous eyes. Actually no, it doesn't matter what the size of your eyes are. But your boobs are HUGE.

Lloyd: Jay wants to become the Alpha hoe

Cole: STOP TOUCHING MY HEAD AND SAYING IT FEELS GOOD

Jay: Deli sandwich equals cold hamburger

Lloyd: How was your day? Cole: Good. I have pie dough in my water bottle

Jay: If we do that we can reach our minimum requirement which is our goal

Kai: You can taste the freedom in that nacho cheese

Lloyd: I lust for the crust

Garmadon: You dirty-minded fools!

Anyone, to Skylor: You sucked the fire

Lloyd: OHMYGOD WE GET TO COLOR WITH CRAYONS!

Nya: Not to be lesbian or anything... but DAMN

Jay: No means no in Spanish

Kai: Bro saxophone is literally the sexiest instrument alive

Wu: The only wrong answers are the ones I don’t agree with

Kai: Look, why do you need to be a bottom to suck someone else's cock?

Cole: Jay, you suck Jay: More so than you do? Kai: Wait... wait you mean like you suck at the game or you’re better at sucking than he is?

Kai: WE CAN WANT YOU SEXUALLY TOO

Cole: That's not kinky, that's just abusive

Lloyd: CAN WE STOP USING THE TERM “BLONDE BITCH”

Cole: That’s not how you do it! Straddle me HO!

Kai: I didn’t mean to kick you in the coochie! Jay, I’m the distance: Be genital with her!

Cole: Yeah, also Jay tackled me and then grabbed me in between his legs and Kai jumped on top and Jay smacked his ass and I tried to record so Kai tried to smack my phone out of my hand and missed and his finger went right in my eye so I rolled over screaming and they got up and threw pebbles at me

Cole: It sounds naked! Music!

Kai, to anyone after they say Wu seems chill: He looks like a big soft squishy man but he is not

Zane: On average, in order to feel happy, you need to be touched, (pokes Jay) 8 times a day Kai raises two fingers on each hand: I’m about to make you ALL happy" *every person at the table in unison scoots away*

Zane: You looked like lord farquad but in a cute way!

Jay, after getting a pizza shoved at him. The pepperoni sanitized my facehole

Kai: I am the WITNESS! VICTIM! And I will play ... the e x e c u t i o n e r .

#ninjago #incorrect ninjago quotes #incorrect quotes #lmao #s: my friends #the most these were edited were like #the names #and like #'band practice' to 'training' or something #yes I'm aware my friends and I are all crackheads #also peep the shameless self promo

[nodesiretogrowup]

ok, I think I’m ready for my in depth recap/analyse/review of today’s episodes, one by one

hopefully this shows up in the tag because my last few posts haven’t for some reason

Challenge of the Senior Junior Woodchucks!:

Frank-This season is about legacy. The first word we hear-LEGACY

The graduation ceremony took me back to my Girl Scout days. And is pretty accurate to the graduation ceremonies I did in scouts, though they had more levels. And the names of their ranks made more sense than the Girl Scout ones. Not sure how the Boy Scout ones work.

Poor Donald. Though from what we see in this episode, it might be better to not be a Woodchuck. They’re a bit...intense.

RETURN OF THE FANNY PACK

Launchpad’s notes were great. He totally wrote them, hence the grape jelly stain

THE LITTLE BABY SCOUTS ARE SO CUTE

The title is a lie. They’re trying to become Senior Woodchucks. And the challenge itself was called the Junior Woodchuck Wilderness Challenge

Poor Huey, that’s always awkward

DUCKTALES SAYS GAY RIGHTS

LENA SAYS GAY RIGHTS

Lena cheering Violet on was ADORABLE

The “I’m with Dad” shirts...chef’s kisses. I now want them to make NEVERENDING DAD JOKES

Vi’s little blush DAAAWWW

Why would Huey have seen her at scout events? I thought Violet had just moved to Duckburg, though I might be remembering wrong. Even then, Duckburg is a fairly large city she might have gone to events closer to where she lived

That fold out sash is DOPE

“DEWEY’S BROTHER!” Ouch, Launchpad.

Huey’s little wave

PROUD MAMA DELLA MODE ACTIVATED

DELLA’S IN THE THEME SONG! We all knew it would happen, but still. I NEED more Della/Launchpad interactions. They look like they’ll have a fun dynamic

He probably isn’t, but I’m gonna pretend that little asian scout is Russel from Up

Webby is a good friend

When Launchpad took Huey’s guidebook it reminded me a lot of whenever someone took the Journals away from Dipper. Complete with self doubt

Dewey is a horrible pep-talker

“Show the other nerds that you are king nerd.” Louie is actually a pretty good pep-talker. He could be a motivational speaker

I like Violet’s quirk of calling the others by their full name (ie Webbigail, Huebert)

Lena takes her new big sister role SERIOUSLY

I really like that the person Scrooge looks up to is a woman. And him sharing a room with his parents was a nice touch

“Story about Scrooge as a kid in 3..2..” Louie knows the formula (probably why he just accepted the sitcom lol)

The bee one made me laugh because alliteration...and bees

How did that map/painting work? It looked like she was actually holding it but the picture still looks fine after Scrooge peels the map off

“OOO, TWIST” I love you Della

I love the Tittertwill and its song and dance. I want it as my ringtone. And I want plushies. STAT

“I’m speechifying” I’m gonna use that next time someone interrupts me

I hope someone gets a good screencap of that post. I want to see what all is on there

Violet trash-talking is ADORABLE. She wants to fit in

“CALL HIM A CLOWN!”

When they tried handshaking...too cute! I don’t really like shipping the kids because of how young they are and that they haven’t had much experience in the crush/romance department...but Huey and Violet are adorable and I think they both have crushes on each other

I kind of wonder what Launchpad was doing while everything was going on. Also he looks SO HOT in that uniform

I didn’t notice it the first time, but all three groups took a different path. Neat

I got upset when Huey used his water bottle to make a compass. Now that lid is dirty and the rest of your water will spill

Violet dots her i’s with a Mickey. The note also made me think of the halfway there joke in an episode of Spongebob

“Do you feel appropriately razzed?” This girl is too sweet

Huey going back to pick up the note so he doesn’t litter

The little growls Donald was doing while swatting at the mosquito were cute. Also FUCK MOSQUITOS

Dewey INSTANTLY forming a connection with the bird is great

“Aw, they’re both cute” My thoughts exactly

“It’s JUST a mosquito, you should give it some of your blood”

I like that over the episode we see Huey continue to forgo the rules to try and boost his chance of winning while Violet follows them

WHY THE FUCK IS THERE LIGHTNING RAIN?!

In Huey’s panic he forgets what he knows. I feel like that’s gonna come back

“That was the smack-talking” Vi is extra adorable in this episode

Webby’s disappointment in the lack of actual giants, cute

Donald and Della should start a slapstick comedy duo

“YOU WANT US TO FOLLOW YOU ON A BRAND NEW ADVENTURE, WELL LET’S GO”

I love when Huey sings

Huey needs to see a therapist cuz that shit ain’t normal

I like him giving the guidebook a soothing, southern voice. Did anyone else think of Ratatouille when the book showed up? Like how Remy imagined Chef Gusto

“Well that’s a pickle of a different color” Oh southerns and your weird expressions

My sister kept saying that the bear looked like it was mixed with a hyena and I can totally see it. Maybe he’s a lost Wuzzle lol

“THAT BEAR DON’T CARE FOR BOOK LEARNIN"

“I’m the food"

VIOLET HAS A KNIFE

Even though I knew it would happen, I was still very disappointed in Huey for not helping Violet. That’s a dick move

“CURSE MY FLAWLESS SLAMS”

God, poor Donald

WHY DO YOU WANT YOUR FAMILY TO DIE, SCROOGE?

I love how blunt Louie is

“EVERYONE FOLLOW THAT BIRD” *Blue Bird of Happiness flashbacks*

WHY THE FLYING FUCK IS THE LAST MARKER IN A GODDAMN ACTIVE VOLCANO?! 

“Where you go I cannot follow” I love JW

“I DON’T KNOW, I’M GONNA THROW THIS ROCK” That’s how I solve my problems

HUEY’S LOSING HIS GODDAMN MIND

“I’m so mad I can’t even aliterrate”

“I’m cold and terrified, sounds like an adventure to me”

“Poppycock, whoever told you that?” “YOU”

“So let’s rewrite history” That was last season, Dewey

Scrooge doing the song and dance was great

“WHAT IS HAPPENING?!” “I DON’T KNOW, WHY ARE YOU IMAGINING THIS?!” That’s some fucked up shit right there

“Wait, there’s a failure badge?” I would like one

I’m glad they clarified that the challenge isn’t a one time only thing because I was confused

I like that this show included the lesson that it’s ok to fail. I still struggle with that to this day

Violet opening up to Huey is sweet. And offering to share the win. She’s a good noodle

“I thought this would be more climatic” BITCH YOU IN THE MIDDLE OF AN ACTIVE VOLCANO! WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT?

“I RESPOND TO AUTHORITY” And she just pats him on the head

“LAUNCHPAD?!” “LAUNCHPAD?!” “Hey, I’m Launchpad” COMEDY GOLD

I KNEW DELLA WAS GONNA BE THAT MOM! I NEED MORE OF IT!

“YEAH, CUZ YOUR A...” “Lena, please”

Launchpad giving Huey one of his failure badges is kind of adorable. Though I thought you could only earn one of each badge. Then again they have a failure badge so normal scout rules probably don’t apply here

Dude, that DEATH GLARE Della gives Launchpad. Something tells me this isn’t over yet. I hope this means Della is gonna see Launchpad as her Sitcom Nemesis while he’s completely unaware of it. Like DW and Gizmoduck

The Sabrewing family is ADORABLE and MOST BE PROTECTED AT ALL COSTS

JW returning as a ghost. I’m not sure if that’s funny or dark

I feel like the Duck family finding the journal is...unfair in a way. Like Violet got to become the Senior Woodchuck but Huey and his family are gonna find tons of treasure/get rich and famous

I think we’ve got some future episode titles in there

I thought Goldie said she found the fountain of youth, why was it in the journal

“MY NAME IS DEWEY”

OMG FOWL!!! I think it’s funny that Phantom Blot is still wearing his FunZone mascot costume

And now we know what this season’s goal is

Seeing Della with her family was great. Like everyone has said, it feels like she was meant to be there the whole time. Her and Donald were great. It was nice to see them being all sibling-y. I heard that this wasn’t intended to be the season opener but you could of fooled me. This sets up everything so nicely for the season. Huey is going to question who he is and what defines him. We have a list of treasures to be discovered. And we see the FOWL are after those treasures too. This was a solid season opener that has me excited for the journey ahead.

#ducktales #dt spoilers

[phrynewrites]

18? For writers qs

Hi nony!!

18. What is a line/scene you’re really proud of? Give us the DVD commentary for that scene.

Oh god it’s so hard to choose between when Brooke’s office is set on fire and the Go Fish scene in chapter 8. Uhhh...I think i’ll go with Brooke’s office being set on fire. Commentary will be in italics 

***

“I swear to god if any of y’all touch me one more time.” (A’keria, already has no time for anyone here. So I tried to establish that element of her character early.)

Scarlet felt around Director Hytes’ dark office, patting the walls down until she found the light switch. Landing on it, she flicked it on with a satisfying exhale, illuminating the pictures she taped all over Director Hytes’ walls, threw all over her desk and floor, and hung from the ceiling with strings of paperclips. She took in the Margaritaville machine, the festive cups with pre-placed and opened paper umbrellas, and the banner behind them all. (We later find out that Scarlet is the one who plans all the parties, so I definitely wanted her to have the greatest hand in setting up this whole thing. Also, I needed an impetus for a little animosity that stems from differing personalities, so having her really be proud of all of this and Brooke be sooo upset was how I came to get their differences to the forefront.)

It was perfect. The only way it could be more perfect is if everyone could shut up until Director Hytes and Yvie returned from the Northside police station. I also needed Yvie to be out of the scene so she couldn’t convince Scarlet that it was in her best interest to not throw this whole party. (Yvie at this point knows the most about Director Hytes (besides Vanjie, who knows that she loves her and would also like to be fucked over her desk) and she’s also the only one whose opinion Scarlet would listen to, so she had to be removed from the scene until the moment Director Hytes walked in.)

“Please stop touching A’keria, and please shut up until she gets back.” Scarlet tried to sound demanding, but the giddy lilt of her voice betrayed her. “It’s supposed to be a surprise, so I’m gonna turn the lights off again.” With a flick, the room became dark again.

“Get your hand off my boob.” (idk i just think it’s very Big Silk to yell out about someone touching her boob)

“Ain’t no one touchin’ your boob, Silk,” A’keria replied, rolling her eyes.

“You tell that to my boob, A’keria.”

“Shut up and stand in your places, and stop touching each other without consent.”

“Consent is important,” Vanjie agreed, pulsing the Margaritaville machine to test the ice-crushing function. (Fun fact: I like to include a reminder of consent in all my fics before anything happens between the characters, like Daybreak over Manhattan Yvie asking if she can kiss Scarlet or When the Sun Sets on Us Scarlet asking “please” when Yvie seems to want to kiss her. Just a lil something to affirm the comfort of everyone in the scene. This is all to say this is a precursor to some consensual boob-touching later in the fic)

The faint click of heels came in closer as the girls scrambled to their stations. (Director Hytes fully wears staggering stilettos and gives off some Miranda Priestly vibes until she takes a chill pill, i.e. Vanjie tells her she’s a little intimidating. So the heels clicking felt super necessary and something people could immediately tell meant Brooke was approaching)

“Yeah, honestly, thank you so much.” Yvie shed her jacket. “I really didn’t think they’d cave to having to conduct all administration and grading of exams in-house.”

“Well.” Director Hytes followed suit, tossing her coat over her arm and reaching for her office door. “They have to. We’re the bosses around here. They can just deal with it.” She entered her office and hit the light switch. (Another promotion of the theme of women in power, specifically governmental power, where decisions are made)

“Surprise!” The girls exclaimed as Silky turned on the speaker, A’keria fed tequila and margarita mix into the Margaritaville machine while Vanjie pulsed the blender, and Scarlet stood in the corner, gesturing at the “Welcome Director Brooke Lynn Hytes” banner with a stupid grin on her face. (Scarlet fully had them practice this reveal multiple times in order for it to look so smooth when the lights were turned on. Most times, Silky couldn’t get the speaker to connect to her phone and Scarlet was just running around the office, trying to help with anything before she was told to stop)

Yahoo! This is your celebration! Yahoo! This is your celebration! (just a little musical break to really make the silence later extra awkward)

“What… I...” Director Hytes stood slack, speechless as her coat slipped from her arms and onto the floor, covering a picture of herself in a pale pink leotard, tutu, and pointe shoes. (Was she a dancer in a past life? Will she ever talk about it? Time will tell but I will not)

Celebrate good times, come on! Let’s celebrate!

“It’s a party for you!” Scarlet reached for Director Hytes, pulling her deeper into the room as A’keria forced a frozen margarita into her clenched fist. (I thought immediately of that episode of Spongebob where he tries to teach squidward to jelly fish and Patrick just keeps yelling “firmly grasp it!” and shoves the net through squidward’s cast. So, like, that’s the vibe here.) “We wanted to throw a welcome party for you, you know, to make you feel welcome,” Scarlet emphasized.

“Where did—what is?” Director Hytes gestured around the room with her un-margaritaed hand, eyes wide as she took in all the pictures hanging from her walls, taped to her monitor, descending from the ceiling.

“Oh okay, so this is my favorite part!” Scarlet spun around the room, eyes wide, prompting everyone to take in her handiwork before continuing, “So I found all these pictures of you, dancing, on the beach, at hockey games—you have such a good feed by the way, it was super cute to scroll through. (Scarlet works in PR basically, and later on in he series, it really shows) Anyway,” she paused for a breath. “So we wanted to know more about you and really get to know you and that’s where we found all this. And then Ra’jah over in media printed it up for us and I hung them up.”

There’s a party goin’ on right here, a celebration to last throughout the years…

“And we learned so much! I couldn’t even tell that you were Canadian, but I guess I really don’t know what a Canadian accent would sound like in Virginia, so now I know,” she laughed at herself, gesturing at a photo of Director Hytes throwing back a beer while wearing a Maple Leafs jersey. “And I even thought you looked like a dancer, but seeing these pictures of you while dancing and seeing you right here, right now, well, I can really see it. And you have such a nice family with your cute little cats and your wife. (Scarlet spoke too soon. We will learn more about why in chapter 10) I was trying to find a wedding photo after we found the engagement photos but I just couldn’t pull one up…” (Hint: there is no wedding photo) 

Celebrate good times, come on!

Director Hytes gripped the chair behind her desk, staring with glassy eyes at Scarlet, while Vanjie continued to pulse the blender of the Margaritaville machine.

“Anyway it was so cute, so we had to print those too. But I was so happy to find out that I wasn’t the only old married broad here,” Scarlet joked.

A’keria flashed a quick look at Yvie, who was staring contemplatively at the frozen margarita Vanjie placed in her hand moments ago. (A’keria, the all knowing, all seeing deity, already know’s how Yvie feels every time Scarlet mentions that she’s married.)

“And here’s something that’s not a picture but really would be a good picture,” Scarlet lifted up a hulking lasagna housed in a glass Pyrex dish decorated in small, painted flowers, showing Director Hytes the bubbling crust. “I had Brigid make her lasagna for the party. You have to try my wife’s lasagna. I call it the best lasagna in the tri-state because it probably is. I mean...” She placed the lasagna back on Director Hytes’ desk. “I’m no slouch, but she’s like, super good.”

Director Hytes swayed a little bit before tightening her grip on the chair and placing her sweating frozen margarita down on top of a picture of her and the red-head, watching the condensation drip on the woman’s face. She looked like she was seconds away from breaking, and Vanjie unplugged the Margaritaville machine, looking her up and down as she watched Director Hytes stiffen again, trying to return to the same cold woman they met that morning.

Because I’m happy, clap along if you feel…”

“Shut that off.” Director Hytes glared at Silky, who scrambled to unplug the aux cord.

Scarlet bit her cheek, watching Yvie’s eyes wildly circle the room. It looked like a hold up, and Scarlet and Brooke are in the center of it. (Scarlet typically looks toward Yvie for reassurance, but this time was only reassured that she fucked up big time.)

“Are you—” (She’s going to ask Brooke if she’s okay. Brooke is in no way okay)

“How much time, money, and government resources did you waste by putting up all these pictures of my old life? You absolute, complete—” Director Hytes stopped herself, loosening her grip on the chair and standing upright again. “I cannot believe that you feel absolutely no remorse using your work day to scroll through Facebook, dredge up my past, and plaster it all over my office—which none of you should ever be in without my permission or explicit invitation—and you do it all on the taxpayer’s dime.” (Brooke’s really not having it with her old life. Also she truly doesn’t know what Scarlet’s job is but she does not like it one bit.)

Scarlet inhaled, blinking up at the fluorescents, rubbing her arm. “I feel like you’re really mad at me.”

“I am. I’m mad at all of you. Now go. Get out of my office. Everyone. Go.” Director Hytes replied bluntly in rapid-fire succession as her voice threatened to break. But the four were nearly paralized in their spots, clutching their drinks, watching as Director Hytes turned her attention toward Yvie. “And you, you’re trying to tell me that we have so many incomplete projects because everyone is working so hard at smaller tasks? Would you tell me that Scarlet was working hard today? And oh, Vanessa’s working really hard over at that blender...”

Director Hytes expected an answer. She always did. Yvie took a sip of her drink, waiting for Director Hytes to finish her ranting before she replied. “Well, Scarlet means well. She always does. She…” Yvie trailed off. “They all do, really. And it’s just a bunch of paper. Like you said,” Yvie smirked, stirring the paper umbrella around her frozen margarita, prepared to toss Director Hytes’ words right back at her. “We have bigger problems here.” (It had to be Yvie here with about as much structural power in this department as Brooke. Mostly because of their different, yet strong conflict styles.)

She breathed out and in, taking her drink back off her desk. “Okay, okay. I almost lost it there. I don’t want to lose it. I can’t lose it,” she spoke quietly, breathlessly, before forcing the straw into her mouth, face still fuming, but mind lowering in temperature.

“Hello, hello, hello!” (Christine) the two exceptionally cheerful voices of Shuga and Nina cut through the slowly falling tension as they entered the office, carrying a massive sheet cake decorated with scattered candles and a cursive piped “Welcome Director Hytes.”

“Hello, hon, I’m Shuga,” she began, raising her line of sight from the cake to Director Hytes, who looked no less pinched and angry than before. In fact, she might have looked angrier once she saw that her employees not only accomplished nothing between themselves today, they roped others into their nonsense.

When Director Hytes released a near freezing glare and shot it at Nina and Shuga, all Shuga could do was stumble over a stilted, “Jesus, child, ooh she’s mad ,” while letting the cake slip from her hands. And all Nina could do was reach haphazardly in front of her, trying to grip Shuga’s end of the cake while sputtering out “oh no, oh no, god no, oh no ,” as the cake hit the ground. And all the cake could do was slam against the floor, which was still littered in printed pictures of Director Hytes, the red-headed woman, and her two cats, the flames of the candles immediately licking at the heaps of printed pages, scorching the carpet and setting off the sprinkler system. (I thought, how can I take a just barely resolved situation and set it on fire. So I set it on fire)

“We weren’t ready for you!” Silky stomped, covering her hair with her hands.

“Girl, the word was Go . We heard go and we came in,” Shuga shrugged, kicking the wet photos off her shoes. “I don’t know what else you wanted us to do, honey.”

“Well, we have to call someone about this.” Scarlet pulled off her blazer, using it to cover Director Hytes’ laptop as best she could. 

“We’re the people we have to call!” Director Hytes threw her hands in the air, frozen margarita sloshing over the edge of her glass. “And who put candles on the cake? It’s not even my birthday.” (Honestly, she’s having the worst first day at the job ever now she’s gotta call herself about her burning office)

“We know, you’re a Pisces, just like me.” (I think this is somehow still my most iconic line from this fic? idk but Scarlet being fully off topic has gotten many amused comments and I feel fully established her character here)

“Oh my god, Scarlet.” Director Hytes held the cold glass to her forehead, feeling her head begin to spin, desperately needing to cool down. The water pouring down from the sprinklers just wasn’t enough.

“I did,” Vanessa added timidly, looking over at A’keria, who continued to sip her frozen margarita, unbothered. (A’keria is either mad as hell or unbothered that’s the way it is) “I thought it’d be, you know, all festive and shit.” (Totally necessary for the call back in Vanjie’s birthday chapter. Gives their relationship a point from which to build.)

Director Hytes began opening her mouth to respond, but instead shook her head and squeezed her eyes shut tighter, leaning against her sopping wet walls, releasing a shuttering, “Get out of my office.”

#for anon #asks answered #ask phryne #fanfic writer asks #dops #the department of public safety

[wafflesrock16]

For the Fathomless Depths sequel, the title “Into the Abyss” reminds me of the Frozen 2 song, “Into the Unknown”. It was a pretty good catchy song. Your fanfic shows numerous Disney classic references which are amusing & fun! I hope the new villain would be the Yagh, a shadowy enigmatic figure in the Deep Hadal zone of the sea.🐙 Or the Collectors are the giant isopods. I thought it would be funny to imagine the Elcor race as manatee/ sea cow. The Volus race as crab-like species, they are exoskeleton, short-round, greedy, snotty, money-grubbers, just like Mr. Krabs from Spongebob Squarepants. 🦀🦞 And the Hanar race are the big religious jelly-fish. The Vorcha are like the Fang-tooth fish because they are ugly & have sharp crooked teeth. I am not sure if you have thought of these already, but i thought it would be fun to share more ideas unique, colorful various species in this Fathomless Depths universe. I look forward to read your Shadow AU! 😊❤

I haven’t actually seen Frozen 2 yet, but I unabashedly use Disney references in Fathomless Depths, so that’s all good with me. The villain in Into the Abyss is going to be someone from the comics (minor spoiler?) As for the other races, the volus and drell are the only ones I have planned out so far - but I think you’ll like what I’ve got for them. ;)

#waffles answers #future fanfic #when I get to this I hope people like it! #there will definitely be art commed for it #lol #my fanfics #submission

[staboteur]

R E N (meant to be Rene but putting both 'e's seemed redundant). W I L (and some for Will too.)

Spell a character’s name in my askbox and I’ll tell you my headcanons…

//I guess i’ll just do the headcanons for the corresponding character lmao (so ren for rene and wil for will)

R: What are their hands like?

//René’s hands are heavily scarred, mostly burns and cuts. I used to have a thing where René’s verses were sort of existing in the same universe, but I decided to cut that out since it was too hard to manage… So he used to have a bite mark from a siren M!A that Amadeo got way back when.

//The main features of his hands are that his fingerprints had long been burned off. Like a permanent scar, dating to back when he was close to graduating spy school. Ofc, they apparently didn’t think it through enough bc a person without a fingerprint is probably more suspicious than a person with one.

E: How are they with children?

//He tries his best? He doesn’t particularly like children (or any small living thing for the matter, particularly the needy ones), but he’s good enough. Just remind him that not every child was like him as a kid. Not every child is responsible enough to hold knives or firearms. 

//however, at the end of the day, he’s a decent caretaker. Won’t get the kids into any danger he isn’t able to get them out of, begrudgingly lets kids play with his hair (if he chooses to not wear his mask,,, which is rare), takes kids to amusement parks… He’s kind of like that one really eccentric uncle who is kinda quiet, looks really mean, but damn he knows how to have a good time.

N: What do they usually eat for breakfast?

//that’s a pretty wide variety of headcanons lmao well anyways… René eats… God, I don’t even know what people eat for breakfast anymore, at my house we basically just find whatever food is readily available and eat that lmao?? I guess he’d eat bread, probably some kind of breakfast pastry (those exist right??), with tea (never coffee). Anything light, basically, possibly sweet. He likes jelly on his bread, sometimes some form of cheese.

W: Can they dance?

//have you ever seen a white boy who can dance well?

I: On a scale of 1 to 10, how much do they love themselves?

//off the fucking scale jk actually Will went through a time of really not loving himself. Right after being hired for RED, he really really hated who he had become, since as a child, he was always seen as the brightest star in his small town. He was good at sports, he was fairly popular, he had good grades, and he was going to go to college with a nice scholarship. But he thinks he was the one who managed to throw it all away because he made a rash decision, and managing to not, yknow, be executed… He was kinda like “why am I even here”. It fluctuates I guess, the Will I have in my head loves himself a lot, like all the way at a 10, but right after joining RED, he’s at like a 1-2.

L: What is their favourite board game?

//board games!! God, René and Will would both like Clue bc they’re both really good at it lmAO. I think Will would also like Sorry!, and René would enjoy DnD a lot (like tabletop rpgs). I think I’ll go with Clue. I couldn’t resist. I actually was low key a scaredy cat when i was like 7 and i was terrified of being murdered after i played the game once lmAO i was,, a really really weak child like spongebob scarred me for life when i was like 6

#{ headcanons | another day another back with a gaping stab wound } #{ the paladin } #//thanks for sending this in! #//this was a fun one lmao #politescoutrussell

[wlwhc]

Dork

Anon ask: Can you do an imagine where the reader is Melinda and Phil daughter who tries to ask Daisy out during training?

warning: none?

(A/N): oh god this is short and sucks so sorry

Masterlist / Prompt List / Fandom List / Ask me anything!

the warm light of the sun hitting your skin made you purr into the pillow , today was a perfect day to stay in bed , doing nothing more than sleep, but unfortunately , today was training day, and the worst part is that Melinda May a.k.a your mother , is your trainer. I know , with just the information of Melinda training you was enough to stay in bed protecting yourself with the blankets.

knock knock knock

“ugh...please not be my mom, please not be my mom you“ mumble while you get out of the bed , walking lazily to the door.

knock knock knock

“jezz I’m coming!” you scream opening the door. For your surprise, it wasn't your mother, it was Daisy...OH SHIT IT WAS DAISY

“Daisy! what are you doing here?” you said , trying to act normal. Daisy was your crush since your father Phil Coulson introduced her to you ,and by the little smile that she was doing , you probably were looking like shit.

“Hey Y/N , Goodmorning to you too” She said giggling a little “May is waiting for you , is Training Day sooo yeah , I came to take you there”

“oh yeah, I forgot about training , I was too busy sleeping and enjoying my soft blanket” You said sarcastically

“hey! at least you have a soft blanket , I lost mine” she said with a little pout.

“God how can she be so damn cute?”, you thought

“how can you lost your blanket?” you asked her while you walk to your bathroom. Daisy sit down on your bed grabbing the blanket

“I took it to a mission once and well… It didn’t end well we had to run away from the situation , leaving my blanket in the process”

You came out of the room wearing your normal training clothes.

“You can use mine if you want” You said without thinking.

“really? it’s so sooooft” she said while covering herself with the blanket, her head was the only thing that you could see. “and it smell like you” She said, probably just like a friendly comment, but it made you blush like crazy.

“o-oh haha yeah , we should go to ...training” You said.

God , why I’m so awkward around here you thought

“Okay let’s go you dork”

Daisy smiled when she saw you blushing. Truth be told , she likes you , more than a friend , but she didn’t had the chance to actually make a move . If it wasn't crazy aliens attacking the city , then it would be inhumans, or watchdogs, or crazy robots or worst , crazy familiar trying to kill her. She just didn't have the time to be with you , but lately, the world has been handling himself pretty well and that means that she could sit back and relax for a few days until the next threat came to knock at her door. She found herself on this calm days dreaming about you, she wants your warm body next to her on cold night and not a empty space on her bed, She wants to laugh with you on a bar and not drink alone, she wants to walk around the base knowing that you could appear at any moment and tackle her with a hug, not scaring a few agents with her badass dementor. She wants you, and she wants you now while she can still be on her pajamas watching Spongebob on a friday night instead of punching a guy on the guts , so she take matters on her own hands. Today she was going to flirt with you and hopefully end up with a date.

ugh someone kill me now please , end my miser-Ouch!

“pay attention Y/N!, your opponent won’t go easy on you, he’s here to kill you, quite daydreaming” Your mother said scolding you.

You got up from the floor glaring her a little. With a fast strike May got you on the floor... again

“this is bullshit! , you’re like the best ninja here! , I’m just getting started, can I train with piper?” You asks your mother, making sure to use your puppy eyes

“no” that of course never work on her.

“oh come on!” You scoff “Dad would let me train with her” you mumble

“that’s why your father is doing paper work while I’m here teaching you how to stay alive”

“I can train with you” Daisy said, once again , her face being light up with that little smirk that makes you melt

“that won’t be necessary Daisy , she’s just being lazy”

“I’m not! , you’re being too hard , excuse me If I don’t know how to defeat one of the best agents of Shield ma’am”

“watch your tone” May said to you , smirking at seeing scoff , you remind her of herself on her earliest years of training. “go for a towel and water” May told you, and with that , you left, mumbling incoherent things on your way out.

“May maybe she needs a break , I can train her , plus , Phil was looking for you , something about ..hmm a new threat?” Daisy said , her eyes screaming “go please goooo”. May was already realizing what was going on , Daisy never gets early for training, and lately, she trains alone, ever since you stared training she was around , always making sure to spend time with you. May send a knowing look at Daisy, raising an eyebrow to her making her blush a little. oh god she know Daisy thought

“really? a new threat?... inhuman?...hmm? threat to who exactly? to Y/N?” May asked looking at the now scared inhuman.

“I-I don’t know haha , maybe you should go ..and figure it out?” she said more like a question

“hmm...yeaaah...okay you can train her” May said , getting a step closed to Daisy “but watch what you do Johnson” May said.

Daisy quickly nodding “yeah yeah I won’t go hard on her”

“great, I’ll go with Coulson now” May said heading to the door, Daisy internally high-fiving herself , she was having finally some time alone with Y/N.

“oh and Daisy?”

“yeah?”

“She likes simple dates , with going to a bar or watch some netflix she will be happy” May said , sending a wink to the smiley inhuman before disappearing through the hallway.

You came back a minute later with a towel and two bottles of water, you were already feeling the hard floor hitting your back, time to suffer

“hey Y/N, May had to go to check something with your father sooo I will train you!” The inhuman said sending a smirk at you.

“oh that’s even better than training with my mother” You said sarcastically

“hey don’t worry I’ll go easy on you” She said winking at you

“that’s so not true , you will use your cool powers!” You said , scoffing a little. It wasn’t that you didn't want to train with her , it was a blessing seeing Daisy train, have you seen those abs?. But it also has their flaws , you could possibly end up with a broken bone, again , it would be a blessing , but you weren’t in the mood to let your crush broke your bones.

“I won’t use them”

“that’s crap , you will use them and I will end up trembling like jelly”

“I don’t need my powers to make you tremble Y/N” She said, winking at you.

…

what? is she…?

WHAT?

“w-what?” You asked, your face already burning for her comment. Daisy chuckle , she loved to know that she has this effect on you.

“you’re so cute” Daisy said

 again.. What?

is she flirting with me!?

“hm..t-thanks” You said trying to hide the blush that was crippling to your cheeks

“we can just forget about training you know?”Daisy said. You looked at her with a questioning look

“really?”

“yep , we could sneak out and I don’t know , coffee sounds good for you?” Daisy asks getting closer to you. It was impossible, she’s not flirting with you,  is she? she’s not asking you on a date , is she?

“coffee?..like a da-”

“definitely like a date” Daisy said grabbing your hand, giving you that beautiful grinned of hers “what do you say Y/N?, May is going to be all day with your father..”

“o-okay” You said trying not to blush. But it was impossible not to, she just asked you on a date , she flirted with you , she grab your hand!

“Wait for me here in an hour okay?” She said , she quickly kiss your cheek walking away. You stayed there touching your cheek. Daisy looks at you once more, smiling fondly at you.

“are you going to stay all day there?”

“oh sh-Sorry!” You said, running to your room.

“she’s such a dork”

this sucks I’m so sorry

#daisy johnson #daisy x reader #daisy johnson imagine #AOS #agents of shield #agents of shield imagines #agents of s.h.i.e.l.d. #marvel agents of shield

[biofunmy]

Welcome to the Era of the Post-Shopping Mall

Surfacing

As the mall declines, American Dream — a “destination” at the height of capitalism — rises.

One morning in early December, I left my office in midtown Manhattan, took a 20-minute bus ride to the New Jersey wetlands and got a few ski runs in before noon. I hadn’t been skiing for 15 years. It turns out that all I needed was for the mountain to come to me.

Enter Big Snow, an indoor ski hill filled with 5,500 tons of “real snow,” which falls not from the clouds but from the ceiling of a warehouse where the temperature is always 28 degrees. As I set out across its terrain, I was flooded with the sense-memories of childhood: frozen eyelashes, scratchy snowsuit, the abandon of tucking the poles under my arms and flying down a mountain, my father just ahead of me. That lasted for 30 seconds, which is how long it took for me to hit the end of the run. With every sluggish chairlift ride back to the top, I was reminded that I was pacing back and forth in a cold steel box. When I was done, I was released not into a warm ski lodge but into an empty mall.

Big Snow is enclosed within the 3-million-square-foot American Dream, a mall so ambitious that it has transcended the word “mall.” It prefers to identify as a “revolutionary, first of its kind community,” an “unrivaled destination for style and play” and “an incredible collection of unique experiences.” Just off the New Jersey Turnpike, a post-shopping mall is born: More than half of American Dream’s space is allotted not to retail but to entertainment. The psychic center of American social life has shifted from buying things to feeling them.

After 15 years in development, the project’s attractions are finally lighting up one by one, connected by networks of vast, unfilled corridors. In addition to Big Snow, there is a National Hockey League-sized ice rink, a Nickelodeon Universe theme park, and a dusting of retail: a Big Snow ski shop, an IT’SUGAR candy department store and a Whoopi Goldberg-themed pop-up shop selling her collections of ugly holiday sweaters and chic tunics. Teased future reveals include a DreamWorks water park, a Legoland, a Vice-branded “Munchies” food hall, a KidZania play land featuring a full commercial airliner and a field hopping with live rabbits.

These spectacles have arrived not a moment too soon. This $5 billion not-mall is opening amid reports that the mall is dying. An army of trend forecasters have decided that millennials would rather spend money on experiences than on stuff. The retail imagination has been transposed to Instagram, and shuttered storefronts have been infiltrated by “pop-up experiences” primed to monetize the selfie. As department stores retreat, they have left “ghost malls” in their wake, complexes that lack the center of gravity to pull townspeople in but that live on in the form of eerie YouTube memorials. Meanwhile, the developers of American Dream — Triple Five, the Canadian conglomerate behind Mall of America in Minnesota — believe its gravitational pull is so strong that it will draw millions from the region, the nation, the world.

American Dream may be selling experiences, but the mall always was an experience. The shopping was mere pretense; the being-there part was free. Just as Baudelaire’s flâneur roamed the arcades of Paris with his leashed turtle, converting the halls of commerce into a kind of poetry, the American’s eye for sociological observation was forged in the glow of the Orange Julius. The commercial backdrop of the mall provided the uncanny feeling of becoming commodities ourselves, a prospect we could embrace or resist.

In pop culture, the mall was alienation ground zero. It’s where the zombies of “Dawn of the Dead” descended in search of flesh and the burnouts of “Mallrats” convened in defiance of their “lack of a shopping agenda.” It’s where Tai had her “near-death experience” in “Clueless,” when some guys she met at the Foot Locker dipped her over a balcony wall and shook her upside-down. It’s where the social hierarchies of “Fast Times at Ridgemont High” and “Mean Girls” were laid bare, and where, in middle school, I ducked into the Abercrombie & Fitch as if trespassing into a popular girl’s closet. It’s where America turned its public square over to private control, letting rent-a-cops reign and “Paul Blart” rise. It was a one-stop destination for American psychodrama.

What American Dream offers is alienation-plus. Everything that used to be outside — water slides, amusement parks, ski runs — is inside now. Every surface is synergized. The press release announcing American Dream’s partnership with Coca-Cola is an opus of corporate jargon: it speaks of “branded in-venue activations” and the “total beverage portfolio.”

And every American Dream attraction is the most extreme possible version of that thing. As I exited the ski hill and charted a course for the amusement park, a PR handler rattled off the development’s accomplishments. Big Snow is the largest indoor ski hill in the Western Hemisphere; Nickelodeon Universe has the roller coaster with the steepest drop in the world; the DreamWorks water park, when it opens, will host the world’s biggest wave pool. Also on site are “the first Angry Birds mini-golf attraction in North America” and IT’SUGAR, “the world’s largest non-manufacturer candy store.”

A new mall can feel a lot like a dead one. American Dream’s current attractions are limited enough that on a Thursday in December, even with Santa in the house, the place was practically deserted. Dusty tarps hung over the water slides; the rabbits were inert stand-ins for rabbits.

There was something clarifying about touring this monument to experience when there was no one there to experience it, no cheeks to flush or pulses to quicken. There was no food court, as if the few figures that stalked its halls were not in need of human sustenance. Around every corner was a security guard, guarding nothing. Instead of storefronts, the walls were covered with a seemingly endless mural of animals and mundane objects that seemed to operate under the blunted logic of machine learning. Every few feet, a new and foreboding image appeared: a tentacle snaking through a commercial airplane window; a goldfish floating up to another goldfish in a plastic bag, as if ready to be thrust into a carnival-goer’s grubby palm.

The whole place is vulgar, which I happen to appreciate. At the entrance to IT’SUGAR — a brand name styled like a desperate scream — stands a 60-foot replica of the Statue of Liberty constructed from green jelly beans. She holds a lollipop for a torch and wears a sash that says: “You know you want it.” At her feet is written: “Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning for the sweet life, and I will give you IT’SUGAR.”

Just next door to this chilling spectacle is Nickelodeon Universe, a nostalgia factory themed around “SpongeBob SquarePants” and “Legends of the Hidden Temple.” As soon as I arrived, I unsuspectingly boarded the roller coaster with the steepest drop of all drops anywhere in the world. The ride rocketed us up to the ceiling, then held us against the window, taunting us with a view of the Manhattan skyline before executing its 121.5-degree drop. I clutched my harness and wept in horror. I was Tai in “Clueless,” hung over the balcony and shaken by a mall I had just met.

What does it mean to buy an experience? It’s not the monetization of life, exactly, but the simulation of its extremes. Nickelodeon Universe raised for me the specter of death. A Big Snow DJ announced the beginning of “endless winter.” The Statue of Liberty to Buy Candy represents a kind of apocalypse of meaning. I felt so much in this place. At the entrance to Big Snow is a “gondola ride” I took to the slope, really an unmoving vestibule in which an instructional video plays. In a startling cartoon sequence, an upbeat narrator reveals that Big, the slope’s impish Yeti mascot, moved to New York City in pursuit of the American Dream. But soon he grew terribly homesick, presumably for the Himalayas. So he built this indoor ski hill with his bare hands. Now Big only sees his Yeti family through the screen of his phone.

It was a moving tale of profound alienation, one of the most affecting films I saw this year. Like Las Vegas, or Arizona towns styled like the Old West, the artifice of American Dream is so artificial, its capitalist excesses so excessive, that it feels somehow revealing. As the critic Dave Hickey once wrote of Vegas: “What is hidden elsewhere exists here in quotidian visibility.”

No, it is not a mall. It’s a performance piece ruminating on the corporate takeover of nature and society. The name — American Dream — is both unnerving and absolutely correct.

Surfacing is a weekly column that explores the intersection of art and life, produced by Alicia DeSantis, Jolie Ruben and Josephine Sedgwick.

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