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verdantglow · 23 days

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Read a little of a fanfic last night where Etho worked at a mall & I was aghast at what store they had him working at (won’t say where ‘cause the point of this post isn’t to put the author on blast) & now I’m thinking of a Traffic smp AU where folks work at the same mall & I just…

- Etho, Tango, & Mumbo are all geniuses at the Apple Store. Impulse is a genius admin.*

- Joel, perpetual former emo boy, works at Hot Topic. He’s probably like. A key holder or assistant manager or something.

- Scar also works at Hot Topic. Because he needed a job desperately & Grian convinced Joel to get him one at his store. So now he’s the location’s token normal guy. But hey, they carry a lot of Disney stuff now, so he’s not too upset about it.

- Lizzie & Gem work at Lush. They always smell amazing & are always covered in glitter.

- Pearl works at Aveda. She also always smells amazing, but is not covered in glitter.

- Grian & Martyn work at Game Stop. Grian is very begrudging about this, putting in minimal effort unless something specific piques his interest, while Martyn will happily chat with any customer about pretty much any game.

- Jimmy works at like. Abercrombie & Fitch or Hollister. (He knows nothing about fashion & very much got the job for being tall & handsome. Like he literally was walking past the store & they offered him a job.)

- Scott is the manager at Express/Express Men. He does know a good bit about fashion & especially is good at picking out clothes that accentuate people’s best features.

- Cleo manages the Starbucks inside the Barnes & Noble.

- Ren works at a table top game store as assistant manager & runs in store ttrpg sessions for people to try out different systems. (He runs these sessions off the clock; his friends are appalled by this.)

- Bdubs is assistant manager in charge of visuals at Pottery Barn.

- BigB manages the Cinnabon. (Currently. He’s actually worked almost everywhere in the food court & knows the dirt on every single one.)

- Skizz is a full timer at a cell phone provider kiosk. He’s been employee of the month at least six times in the last year, ‘cause he’s so friggen genuinely friend that it’s really hard to ignore him while walking past. You just have to stop to say hi because otherwise it’d be rude & you’d actually feel bad about it.

* genius admin is the person who goes through paperwork & payment with you on return of repaired items. Other duties include: maintaining the store’s repair database, all part inventory handling, managing the repair queue, & generally being in charge of the repair room.

#trafficblr #traffic smp #life series smp #traffic series AU #because I have more thoughts about this #& I’m gonna want to fined this post again.#guys help me I’m supposed to be working on a specific art project #& instead I’m using my many years of mall retail experience to put blockmen into The Most Mundane Situations.#verdant rambles #prosaic wonders au

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imtrashraccoon · 3 months

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The first writing request is from my friend @g0nefischin . They wanted to see Papyrus doing something normal and so this is what I came up with!

The Shopping List

Classic!Papyrus & Gender Neutral Reader

Word Count: 2,366

With a heavy sigh, you shut your locker and locked it with the combination lock. It was time to face whatever the day brought your way. Squaring your shoulders, you zipped up your uniform vest and began the trudge onto the sales floor.

You worked at a large chain department store and it had been the only job you could seem to land after trying for months. Nowhere you applied at seemed to be hiring, despite having ads for various positions up for ages. Maybe they just weren't looking to hire someone like you though.

To say that you hated your job was an understatement. Not only were the hours long, but also, your shifts were very rarely at the same time each week. This left you with very little free time and you were often too tired to do anything besides look after yourself when you got home from work. You weren't paid nearly enough either and money was almost always tight each month when it came time to pay rent.

You were literally working yourself into an early grave just to survive.

Curse the Wolton family.

Despite your hangups over certain aspects of Capitalism and Corporations, you still had a job to do. It wouldn't do to lose that job just because you didn't want to work. No, you dreamed of going out in a blaze of glory if that day ever came.

Today, you decided to just put your head down and get through your shift, like you nearly always did. The first hour was pretty dull, although you began to hear whispers from your coworkers of a strange person in the store. You didn't care to make conversation and this really wasn't an uncommon occurrence. At this point, you'd seen so many weird people at ungodly hours, that you didn't think anything could freak you out anymore.

Wasn't there a forum for that called r/peopleofwolmart? You'd glanced at it a few times in the past but it just made you lose more of what little faith you still had in humanity. Maybe you'd eventually have your own story to tell on there one day though.

You didn't have to wait long to see who they had been murmuring about.

He was easily the tallest person you'd ever seen in person, maybe close to seven feet tall, and for a moment you wondered if he played any basketball at all. He certainly had the height to do so, but at the same time, he wasn't what you thought of when you heard the word basketball. But what did you know? You only had a passing knowledge of the sport in the first place.

The thing is, his height wasn't the only thing out of the ordinary about him. He was wearing bold, almost blindingly bright clothing and...he was a skeleton.

An entire civilization had been trapped underneath the nearby mountain that this city was named for and only recently had they been granted full citizenship by the local government. Most had moved into an older part of the city by now so it wasn't unusual to see them out and about. You were still to meet one though and you guessed most of your coworkers were in the same boat.

The tall skeleton had on a bright pink tank top with a logo you didn't recognize, a pair of fuzzy red mittens, multicolored shorts that could probably pass for swim trunks, an orange jacket tied around his pelvis, and a pair of tall bright red boots that kind of reminded you of those chunky ones that goth teens seemed to like. The guy looked like he'd stepped out of a colouring book and part of you had to admire the sheer confidence he had to leave the house wearing all that. You could never even dream of doing the same.

He had a shopping basket over one arm with a few groceries already inside and what looked like a shopping list that he was currently scrutinizing.

While he was certainly interesting, you didn't want to be caught staring as he was clearly just going about his day. It wasn't like he was bothering anyone or making a mess that you'd have to clean up. Definitely not something worthy of posting online for everyone to see.

So you went to go restock one of your aisles. It was a good thing one of the managers wasn't around or you might have gotten reprimanded for not approaching him. Screw that noise, he looked like he was doing fine. If he needed help, he'd ask, right?

It wasn't like you were purposely ignoring him either. You hated approaching people out of nowhere and striking up a conversation. So unless it was absolutely necessary, you tried your best to avoid people, even outside of work.

You couldn't help but feel a bit curious about the skeleton though.

You were in the middle of facing and restocking the canned food aisle when you heard someone approaching you. Glancing over, you made eye contact with the tall skeleton from earlier. He didn't seem to have picked up any other items and the way he was scanning the shelves before looking back at his list made you realize he probably could use some help.

Taking a deep breath, you decided that, yeah, you could help this guy. He seemed nice enough and it might be interesting to talk with a Monster.

"Are you having trouble finding something?" you asked.

He seemed a bit startled at first even though your voice hadn't been very loud. Although, he recovered quickly and the corners of his permanent grin quirked up a little. He must've been focusing pretty hard.

"Yes, Actually! I Cannot Seem To Find The Tomato Paste, Although I Am Certain It Should Be In This Aisle."

His tone of voice was louder than you'd been expecting and while you didn't have a headache yet this morning, your sinuses felt a little sensitive just listening to this guy. Maybe he was one of those freaks of nature who could get up with the sun and have energy from the get go? You'd never understand what that was like as long as you lived, in part due to your poor sleep schedule.

You scanned the bay with the various canned tomato products. You'd never understand why there were so many different ways to process the fruit as it would all get cooked down eventually, right?

"Oh, here it is." You pointed at the cans that were located one shelf up from the floor. With his height, no wonder he was having a hard time finding them!

The skeleton's cheerful expression somehow grew even brighter. "Stars, Of Course They Were Right Under My Nose The Whole Time! Thank You, Human!"

You elected not to point out that he didn't even have a nose and instead handed him the cans that he needed since you were right next to them. He stowed them away in his basket and you were about to walk away, when you noticed his smile fell as he glanced back at his grocery list.

Seeing that, you couldn't help but feel a little bad. He'd been so nice during your brief interaction and he probably wasn't familiar with the layout of this store at all. While you couldn't be sure, population wise, there were a lot less Monsters than Humans and they likely didn't have massive stores like what was commonplace up here.

"Was there anything else you needed?" you probed gently.

The skeleton worried at the fingers of his mittens and if he had lips, he would probably be biting his lower one. "I Do Not Want To Be A Bother... You And Your Colleagues Seemed So Busy..." His tone of voice was considerably quieter now, making him sound rather unsure of himself.

You gave him a small smile and shook your head. "It's fine really. I can probably at least point you in the right direction if anything."

He let you see his shopping list and you had to suppress a chuckle at the big, bold lettering that was his handwriting. It suited his personality in your opinion and was kind of cute. Most of the items on the list were located in the grocery section, but there were a few that you knew weren't, such as glitter or a blowtorch. Still, you tried to help him to the best of your ability.

He was apparently quite chatty, which you would normally find a little awkward as you disliked it when strangers tried to engage in conversation with you. It was different with him though. He was very passionate about everything and talking with him almost felt like catching up with an old friend.

He told you how beautiful the surface was, not that the Underground wasn't, but he couldn't emphasize enough how amazing it was to look up only to be met with a near endless sky. He hadn't been outside of Ebbot City yet because traveling was still difficult, but he wanted to go see the ocean one day, among many other places.

He told you about a few of his friends, such as Undyne, who you remembered was the former Captain of the Royal Guard. You'd seen her in passing from various press conferences the King and Queen of Monsters had held. According to the tall skeleton, she was every bit as powerful as she looked and then some. She'd also been the one to teach him how to cook and it had become a passionate hobby of his ever since.

That was why he was shopping today. He was excited to try his hand at the Human method of cooking, whatever that meant, and needed to get specific ingredients for the recipe he was planning to make. When you asked what the differences between Human and Monster cuisine was, he told you that there was basically none. The ingredients were essentially the same, although there were a lot of things Monsters didn't have access to in the Underground. There was one difference though that while seemingly inconsequential, made a world of difference for certain subspecies of Monsters, including himself.

Monster food had magic in it.

Whether it was in the individual components or added during the cooking process, the result was the same. The reason why was because Monsters were almost entirely made of magic and many subspecies didn't have the biology to digest food the way Humans did. Magic made the food easily absorbable so that all Monsters could benefit from the nutritional value of it.

He also told you about his brother, or rather, he complained about him. His brother was quite literally a lazy bones, something you couldn't help chuckling over, and couldn't be bothered to get up early to join him for shopping this morning. Apparently, he also told the most low effort jokes imaginable and tended to spend most of his time slacking off rather than working.

Still, it quickly became apparent how concerned your new tall friend was about his brother's wellbeing, despite how much he had complained about his habits. You wished you had that sort of relationship with your own siblings, but at this point, you doubted that would change.

After successfully, helping him locate nearly everything else on his list, the tall skeleton abruptly turned to you and clasped his mittened hands together in front of his ribcage.

"Thank You So Much For Your Help Today! I Had Tried To Ask A Few Other Associates Before You, But None Of Them Seemed Like They Wanted To..." His smile fell slightly as he trailed off and you felt a pang of guilt at the realization that more than likely they hadn't wanted to help a Monster like him.

He brightened up just as quickly and flashed you a winning smile. "But, I Am Glad You Helped Me! So, Thank You...!" Your heart nearly skipped a beat when he said your name and for a moment you questioned if you'd ever introduced yourself.

You must've looked shocked as well because he was quick to reassure you. "Sorry, I Knew Your Name From Reading Your Name Tag Earlier," he commented.

You couldn't help but feel a little silly. Of course he had noticed that. You'd actually forgotten you were wearing one, despite seeing it every time you put your vest on before your shift started.

"Oh! No it's okay, it just caught me off guard for a second there." You chuckled and rubbed the back of your neck, feeling a bit embarrassed as well. "What's your name? If you don't mind me asking anyways...?"

He grinned and puffed out his ribcage a little. You swear he would've struck a pose like some sort of action hero too, if he wasn't currently holding onto a full basket of groceries.

"I Am The Great Papyrus! It Is Wonderful To Make Your Acquaintance, Human!" he exclaimed in that same cheerful tone from earlier.

You couldn't help but smile at his enthusiasm. "Yeah, it's good to meet you too. I can't say I had expected to actually enjoy helping a customer today, but I did."

He let out a laugh that sounded almost exactly like, "Nyehehehe!" You chuckled as well, although a lot quieter than the boisterous skeleton.

He turned to head to the check out but stopped and looked back to you. "Do You Mind If I Stop By To Say Hi If You Are Working When I Come Shopping Next Time?" he asked.

"Sure thing! I'll gladly help you find things again or just have a small chat. I hope you have a good rest of your day, Papyrus!"

He gave a little wave and smiled brightly at you. "Good Bye!" he called out your name once more and then he was gone.

You felt like you were buzzing from sheer joy as a result of the brief time you'd spent with him. You couldn't remember ever having such a pleasant interaction with a customer before today, let alone with a Human one. Were all Monsters this friendly?

You really hoped you'd see him again...

#raccoons drabbles #undertale #papyrus #classic papyrus #reader #gender neutral reader #oneshot #taking from my own retail experiences this time round #i hope Papyrus is not too out of character as i haven't written him yet

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