#self care is hard work sometimes

[art-of-mathematics]

Behold! New success card(s) just dropped:

Achievement unlocked

[Spaceship has been successfully cleaned.]

... I made this card to motivate myself (with a good pun as reward) in case self care is very hard work again...

#meantal health lols #mental health #mental health support #selfcare #self care #self care is hard work sometimes #system maintenance #body is (biological) spaceship #analogies #analogy #motivation #neurodivergent struggles #neurodivergent

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Assisting Acquaintance Acquired.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wen ning #wei wuxian #Ignore how Wen Ning's hair looks here because I messed it up. Let's pretend he just sported a different hair style for a brief moment. #I am not exactly great at consistency but I am trying very hard to work on that (immediately messes up again). #Absolutely *love* how Wen Ning clearly remembers and admires WWX...who does *not* recognize him. #This is the best day for Wen Ning and it means *nothing* to WWX. A painful one-sided crush made worse. #It is bittersweet to realize that we care about someone more than they care about us. Sometime we pour love into a relationship- #-with someone who just can't reciprocate. It isn't always a conscious things either. Some people just aren't aware we care. #And painfully - so painfully - You can't make them aware. No act of kindness or gift or self sacrifice will make someone care about you. #You can martyr yourself for someone and they will continue on unchanged. #I think a lot about the parallels between WN and LWJ. Not foils - just reflections. A theme repeated. #People who give so much of themselves to someone who doesn't have the capacity to give any part of themself away. #I will die on the hill of 'Wen Ning would be the love triangle romance if that trope wasn't being avoided'. #And to be honest - thank the stars above that is the case. I do not know any good love triangles in media. #We are skipping some of the sad Jiang Cheng content because I really want to finish season 2 before May. #Sorry JC emo moment lovers...I'll deliver another time.

[sopuu]

im so sorry if this is an annoying question but are you still working on the jesskas reunion animatic 😯

you're good dw! and about the animatic, it's both a yes and no?

to explain, and to give an update on on the au in general: CJAU has 3 main arcs, the second being the biggest (and has a secondary arc within). i already have an idea of what the end points of all those arcs would be like, and the reunion animatic marks the end of the first.

at the time i talked about the reunion (which i think was like. a year ago? around the time of the compliance comic? oh mygod) there was supposed to be two more comics before i wrapped it up, one of them being LWOAL. and since i work on multiple parts at the same time, the reunion already had a script going and i started thumbnailing right after Compliance was out. i even got halfway through the whole thing!

...but after some revisits to the storyline i just thought it wasn't good enough. i wanted the second arc to have a solid enough foundation for me to work with and what i had before wasn't cutting it, and as much as i wanted to get to it i don't want to rush things. so in between rethinking the plot, working on LWOAL and it getting like 3-4 redos, and the weird mcsm-specific burnout that happened mid oct-dec, the animatic was put on hold.

however! i've figured out many things since then and at this point in time there should be ~2-3 more comics before the reunion! and i want to actually pace myself this time before i start work on the animatic again. so while i'm not working on it atm, i still really, really want (and plan) to get it out someday :)

CJAU is kinda like an experiment for me to play around with making comics/storytelling since i've never tackled something this big before, so heads up things are always subject to change haha. i do think about it a lot and want to make it the best it can be- i like what i have going too, but ig sometimes it leads to a lot of unneeded pressure on myself,, it brings out the perfectionist in me idk why hfjkgd. im gonna try to chill out on that front tho, and in the meantime thanks for everyone's patience with me i know i take a while with this au 🥹

#asks #sometimes it gets hard to work on it bc of spikes of self doubt thinking no one cares even tho ik it's not true! #and also just wanting to draw other stuff or life in general. like i Cannot work on this during april-may bc of huge college assignments #and also a personal mcsm related project which i may or may not be able to show soonish. so much to do aughh

[jaevy]

your room was square

i once noticed from there

in your bed, as you slept

and i held my breath

everything had its own place

and i wondered what space would i take

in the order you kept

#in this drawing i wanted to use the song ‘Square’ by Mitski #personally i feel like this song is about being in love and trying far too hard to be the perfect lover that you are incapable of being #to me it’s like trying to see where you fit in that person’s life and not knowing where you belong in it #but then you’re still longing for that feeling of belonging there with them #so you self-destructively go to great lengths to ‘earn’ your place with them #i feel that the self-destructive behavior of trying to be that perfect lover just to ‘earn’ their love #is exactly the ‘burning’ that Mitski describes #it hurts trying to fit in but not quite succeeding again and again and again... #this is something that i think i relate to #trying far too hard to belong with someone who is 'only sometimes madly in love with me' #and says that i 'wouldn't be their first choice' #-that person kept switching between wanting me as a friend and a lover and now i am neither #and yet therein lies the problem: if i cared less and gave less effort #perhaps we could’ve worked things out without me trying too hard to “earn” their love #but why would i ever try to care less? #the situation was doomed from the start and i lost a friend in the process #i made this illustration to reflect that the best i could. I think the square motif was particularly obvious— #the canvas itself is a square and the illustration itself has to fit in a square box #everything else i drew would have to fit within this box to maintain the “order” #the colors are all some type of blue with not too much contrast except for the text eyes and teardrop on the figure #i wanted to keep contrast low within this illustration— everything should be “fitting in" after all #for the figure itself i wanted it to be clear that the figure is being forced into that square #its body’s being forced into that half of the box and even then its head is forced downwards #it’s clearly not fitting comfortably but it’s sure trying its hardest to #also also also!!! i wanted to do more angular shapes with this drawing because square and whatever lol :P #i don’t think i was particularly obvious in communicating that in the drawing though #but anyways i just wanted to draw to help process something that happened to me a while back :0 #i still think i love that person but just like how i don’t have a place in their life #i don’t think they have a place in mine and i think i’m starting to make peace with that :D #jaevyart

[ufolvr]

How I sleep understanding my favorite villain's personality and backstory and why they work so well while also throwing key aspects of it away for the benefit of my own indulgences btw ^_^

#📡 incoming transmission 📡 #once again talking about frieza. mostly. their backstory and direct mirroring of goku's is the strongest in the series #they never had to life a finger for anything ever and thats the point #but.... sometimes a guy has certain needs and urges #i also mess with buu and cell but thats after they died so i can do whatever. like introducing a character for them to bounce off of #is one thing but changing their backstory is another. do you see it? i dont think i need to do that to tell a meaningful story #for frieza however i do not want them 'going soft' for anyone ever. i want them to have been soft from the very beginning #that's a lot stronger to me. what if they cared? what if they cared so much. what then. #any other changes i make to characters i like esp villains is more... well. where can we go from here buddy? #and less What would happen if your backstory was a moved a little bit to the left. it just genuinely depends on what works best ^^ #self insert #selfshipping #f/o #selfship #self ship #also bc its driving me up the wall: #me whenever i tell you that frieza cannot be enjoyed separately from their femininity and poise so frieza with a square jaw means nothing #and cell was hard for me to grasp but the truth is that the more human she became the scarier she got. #like another false sense of familiarity almost #and buu is all over the place because buu is buu and makes little to no logical sense #this has nothing to do with the post. sometimes i just like to sound smart #and as a proof that i do know frieza plenty well i just love to fuck with them and make them care for someone

[theultracharmingladynoire]

I am just so tired of everything but I can't do anything about it

#I can change this situation if I work hard and sincerely....but I just.... can't? #I just feel more physically tired day by day and it feels like I am being lazy and not trying hard enough #But I just. Can't. #Like one surface level I do understand it's just that I am not in a really good place mentally but sometimes it just feels so...bad #I don't know. I have been feeling a lot of unpleasant feelings towards people I though I loved and cared about and it is really troubling m #And then there's this situation of me just not being good enough. And it's so frustrating #I just. There's this person who I have been really envying for a while. I felt very guilty to admit it but I don't know man. Especially whe #I can't bring myself to completely envy and dislike them out of pettiness....it just feels so Wrong And Bad #But I don't know....why do I feel like I can't do anything about this when I can if I try #Why can't I just try to change this. Change myself #I am surrounded by people who support me always....yet I can't do better and I can't do ENOUGH #It just.I don't know. On one hand I wish I was better because I do have a bit of an ego and I want to relish that feeling of winning #On the other hand....I want people who I love to be proud of me. #But I can't because I am too lazy for this can I #It's like I've hit this slump and I can't get out of it #I've tried so much to get out of it....everyone around me tells me not to let myself get too deep into whining and negative emotions and #give up...but man is it so fucking hard not to. It makes me loathe myself that #I feel like running away from my responsibilities when I don't even carry them out. I haven't done shit to feel like I need a break #I don't know I just really am dissatisfied and disappointed with my current self now. #N rambles

[reinedeslys-central]

so like sometimes it's only been a couple hours after you've eaten and you're wondering if you're wondering if you're hungry - but maybe you're just, like, hungry in your head, right? Not actually hungry? So you don't need to eat because that would be overeating, like at a buffet where you stop eating when your stomach feels like it's going to burst? wrong your stomach has an early warning system

no yeah fast forward to two hours later when you're kinda lowkey starving and you go, oh. huh. bodies don't lie.

listen to your organs y'all 😅

#also i think it's cool that sometimes when you're hungry or half-hungry you can kinda wade in the fog of it and find out what you're craving #like oh im really craving....rice #just rice #so I go #oh!! carbs!! you're low on energy and probably really tired and stressed atm!! here you go body!! have some good fast-energy glucose!! #and other times you just really want something cold and crunchy and kinda sweet and sharp and tasty and I go #you haven't been having your fruits son go pack an apple and some celery and some peanut butter with those nice fats to help with digestion #I have such a weird relationship with food and eating lol #we are Improving #listen to your body!! It's telling you what it needs! It's never overeating if you're giving your body what it Actually wants and needs #I wanted smth crunchy and salty did I want chips or grilled chicken #and yes 'junk' foods are useful too. I just have to remember to consider when it's an indulgence craving necessity or a crutch #I'm not a dietician but it still holds that no foods are bad!! just work with your body #it's hard sometimes but it's always there for you and getting you through the day so you gotta be there for it too! #take care of those daily functions!! #message to everyone and more to myself lol #food #eating #eating habits #self care #healthy eating

[sunniestshark-ocs]

Join her in meditation, or antagonize her into a match? The choice is yours

#jo stuff #my art #verse:any #open starter #i have been listening to a lot of film analysis video essays at work #and in a lot of them it's mentioned that sincerity and earnestness are really hard for a lot of people to engage in and #how a lot of media has a difficult time portraying like uncomplicated devotion/love between characters #and I find it interesting and makes me wonder if I can ever get Gt off the ground #if it would he difficult for people to engage with Jo because that's her whole thing #she's earnest. she loves in a way that is uncomplicated and has enough for everyone she meets #she is genuinely devoted to the people around her. a simple gal with simple wants #it's just interesting to think about. i worry sometimes that she might be found boring bc she's not that complex #and in the past have played with the idea of her going through a crisis of self or something but I never like it #i love that she's genuine and that she unconditionally cares and it's not boring to me and that's what matters Xad #anyway! #just thinkin

[imreaallyasorry]

Late night doodle….

#art #digital art #character design #if you guys were wondering why I don’t yap as much or get on tumblr as much anymore it’s because I only get on super late at night #I’m busy with school and my naps #mutual’s if I reblog your posts with no tags it’s not because I don’t have anything to say it’s because I’m too sleepy to type it out #I’m gonna get back into posting my Loki and Thor art #I don’t wanna post any because it’s just all incomprehensible Thor doodles #I’ll probably render a few and then add Loki there too #or just do a bunch of solo Loki drawings because I love drawing her #my favorite character is Thor!!! proceeds to never draw him #I’ll probably hunt down some of my mutuals ocs and draw them when I have time #I actually don’t have a lot of mutuals with like public ocs #they draw their favorite character #soooooo I’ll have to draw their design of that character #sighhh #it’s so late guys #(it’s like 9 pm) #I usually go to bed at 8 #though I’ve been staying up later for some reason??? #don’t know why but I don’t mind the extra time #still not waking up any earlier though #I should stop waking up 20 minutes before I have to go places… #my bed is so comfy!!! #sighhhhhhhh sometimes self care is doing the hard things #(is kicking and screaming clawing at my mattress) #((I have to go walk my dog)) #unemployed activities #I’m gonna get a job in summer because I am not working on TOP of school #I’m sorry my art commissions I do once every 2 months drain me enough

[thegoblinwitch]

i was an idiot, and in a fit of particular self-loathing, i hacked at my hair with a pair of scissors...

i'm only grateful that my trimmer was broken and that i didn't try to cut it as short as my unshaved sides. i sported a sort of weird mullet for a week, before i got the spoons to try and make it look less like i had hacked at it without thoughts, and instead make it look somewhat purposeful.

i now have a short-ish undercut with a longer curly top - all in my natural brown, since i hadn't done my roots in a while so the pink/purple was lost in the battle.

and i absolutely hate it. there's a reason i've been growing my hair for the last 2 years. short hair just makes me look completely different and way more masculine than what i'm comfortable with.

i've ordered bleach and i still have my hair dye, so at least i'll have the pink/purple back and that will make things better, but urgh. such an idiot. at least it'll grow back, and hopefully quickly.

#self-harm sometimes is purposefully destroying 2 years of hard work in hair care #and giving yourself a hair length you loath #because you 'don't deserve to feel pretty' #kit's #diary

[heylinfanclub]

Dangit big money friend I know which blog is yours I just can’t find it or remember the url n can’t find you in the DMS I kNOW I’ve talked to you (adhd memory fog promise I got that big respect)—- but I can’t say Paypal names allowed in fear of deadnames. YOU COME GET ART FROM ME POSTHASTE. hell I’ll make physical art and MAIL IT TO YOU. Your generosity knows no bounds and I hope to share the love with the energy it provides me to SURVIVE.

Note to self: I should make an art piece about the Wealth of Having Community.

#me. #(you essentially just replaced my uncle for the month which is. so comforting. #(for me and for him #(letting him know I’m taking care of #(feels like it’s always been a fear of people who take care of me that I can’t— FIND HELP—- i prommy to them I’ll try my hardest #(either by loving a strong community or by making due by little art pieces #(I grew up homeless I struggle to even see ‘trouble’ as trouble sometimes #(I get in the red I do panic #(but not eating not buying anything not doing anything that’s not free—- that’s my childhood #(I can SURVIVE IT #(but bank red scares me cause it’s Persistent and always appears when you’re least able to attend it (ie: no money?? lETS CHARGE YOU MORE!! #(sniff #(Good people get mentioned to my church lady friend #(she’s. nice. but she has the Christian values of ‘if ur good- good things will happen’ ie: YOU NEED TO EAARRNNN GOODNESS #(usually by working hard #(but lookit this. I do work. I don’t kill my self over it tho. and I spend the rest of my energy on people I care about #(if I had money I’d always be giving it away lord knows I did in college oof #(could’ve saved more if I didn’t help all my friends w their problems but #(that’s how the rich get rich. they in it for themselves. #(*I am rich in relations* so hrmPh #(**rambles further** also spoke to my friends about how the suburbs are subpar communities cause u can’t run businesses in em #(no churches no stores no repairs. cause you can kick someone out of a house but not out of their BUSINESS LOCATION. #(but also cause it risks creating a community you can’t control. becomes self sufficient. doesn’t require capitalism selling them shit. #(when they can share trade and gift. ugh. beautiful times.

[diluc33rpm]

2/2 Do you crave approval and/or praise?

yeah? what do you mean you don’t like tumpet ? 🎺bwaaa?

#the... normal amount i’d guess #i used to certainly #but i think that’s disappeared as a ‘craving’ in that sense and is a lot more of a mundane form of occasionally seeking reassurance #i get nervous about it sometimes but i’ve been beginning to accept that it’s ok to want to feel out differences in perspectives with others #so that’s fine #also helps a lot with feeling motivated about creative work and other kinds of pursuits #note on that though i am talking about PEER approval the first step in even getting here was being ok approving of myself first #mainly had to do with deprogramming and just. unlearning a bunch of self beliefs (i at least was sorta aware of it but its hard even then) #but once you have that particular baseline of respect for yourself as a person imo you don’t really crave anything so much? #there’s no subsisting off of other people inasmuch as conducting a relationship with them because you’re not trying to replace a lack of it #relating to others in a healthy way very much is about genuinely believing yourself and trusting your own pov first #before you can get to the rest. hell of a climb if you’ve spent any part of your life mostly hearing critical gaslighting or indifference #but in my experience at least it’s a lot of burden off both yourself and the people you care for once you finally make it there #gonna have a hard time constructing anything more if youre not standing on solid ground first (..& hopefully not somewhere prone to floods)

[transphilza]

reminder that numbers on social media don’t define you and if they’re causing you distress it’s helpful to step away or distract yourself. just for your mental health’s sake, i really do implore that you try not to constantly monitor your like/reblog ratios and maybe even turn off notifications if you find yourself anxious about how much attention your posts are/aren’t getting. take care of yourself ❤️

#this is what keeps me having a healthy outlook on posting art and stuff ❤️ you’re valid to feel upset— #—or disappointed when something you worked hard on doesn’t get attention. i srsly get it i really do #but do remember to take care of yourself and not stake your self esteem on this stuff. deep breaths #like i get really anxious after i post stuff i worked hard on. i always do #and sometimes i do fall into the bad habit of watching for every notification. but most times i log out of tumblr and do something else #and then i come back an hour or two later to see the total notes. i scroll through the tags and that’s it #i really really try to ignore who has/hasn’t seen it or reblogged it and i NEVER look at the like/reblog radio lol #ratio* #the few times i have looked at that it’s made me very discouraged and that just. doesn’t help me make art lol #so like i really fully get it. but if you are an anxious person like me and the notifications genuinely cause you distress #it’s ok to disengage #do whatever feels healthy and constructive and helps you feel motivated to continue creating

[un-pearable]

cole ninjago be like while you were criticizing my coping skills i accomplished my own therapy BY studying the blade

#ninjago #cole brookstone #my strongest cole opinion is that him quote unquote running away was actually undeniably a good thing for him #it’s what let him have the emotional space to actually a) recognize his deeper set issues w/ his father b) feel like he had the agency he #deserved and take the responsibility he KNEW he could handle and prove himself (and his mothers legacy) to himself #and c) gain the maturity + (self-sustaining instead of just spiteful/rebellious) independence necessary for him to realize #that his father wasn’t trying to hurt him. they’re both very stubborn but caring people who were both coping poorly with a hard time #and the clear love lou has for his son after they reconcile is so so important to me. people are complicated and fucked up and sometimes #you hurt each other by accident. but both needing space to process and actualize yourself AND wanting to reconnect and build back your #relationship are simultaneously difficult and a justified and understandable goal #text✨ #for some of the ninja becoming ninja let them run away from their problems and we talk about it a lot but i think cole works way better #if you understand that it was a necessary step for him

[rockpapertheodore]

Sometimes self-care is, actually, NOT getting onto the computer and little treats and watching youtube videos. Sometimes those things are self-care, but sometimes they're also avoidant behaviors.

Sometimes self care is waking up and just. Fucking getting in the car. And driving to the bank. And the store. And buying the cat litter. And changing the cat boxes you've been avoiding because your brains been stuck in a hole. And picking up the trash you've been piling up. And getting a load into the wash. And mowing the lawn before the village council sends you a formal complaint and potential-fines warning.

Like its hard and annoying to do because it sucks. It sucks so much. But if I don't start working on this pile of bullshit I've let build up because it stinks and i was stuck in deer-in-headlights mode, I risk letting it turn into fuckery. I do not have the patience for fuckery that I once - foolishly! - thought I had.

[daimoan]

i tried so hard to be kind and sweet and all of these things that are supposed to be good? and valued? but im alone again and i dont think ill ever not be

#if you recently asked me how i am doing. sorry #i do remember and value that. its just very hard to trust that as something i could ever actually lean on #like even to say that feels like maybe i am overstepping. so. yeah thats where im at haha #ive just gotten burned way way too many times at this point #forged in fire??? burnt to ashes #i used to think phoenixes were relatable but not really anymore #the vibe has changed completely #and really im on my way out. not in like a super depressing way im not about to kill my body but when i say #im transitioning to a p zombie its . not a fucking joke im done here #my support group of all things went to shit yesterday too so i really have nowhere to stand im just breaking breaking. breaking. breaking . #dissolving. dying. and im like kind of hurt that nobody even cares enough to know these things about me #but how can i blame people for not knowing that asking me how im doing is not enough #or like how can i blame people for not caring #ppl got their own lives or whatever idk how this shit works. #man im just so so so done. #my friend told me about some future worries today and i was just sitting there like man. how do you even. #talk like you will have a future #like anything matters like any of this is real #because to me it's pretty clearly not #i didn't say that shit to him obviously #id like to keep a friend or two around just in case idk #someone to go on a walk with #sometimes he asks me what i think about stuff #i like listening to myself talk. so i benefit from that #anyway the point of this post was that while im done being a self im also very fucking done being selfless #acting like i think i can help people or something. i cant. i dont want to. i dont care. #i just dont fucking care anymore.