#she wants to be gay in movies so badly how could they have robbed her like that

[harleybarbarahandler]

my villain origin story is the fact there was a nellie/lady fay sex scene in an early draft of the babylon script and THAT got cut but somehow the elephant shit scene stayed in

#how pissed off do we think margot was when they told her they weren’t gonna film the lesbian sex scene after all I bet she was so upset #she wants to be gay in movies so badly how could they have robbed her like that #we were all robbed of a scene of lady fay domming the absolute fuck out of nellie. hashtag release the lafay cut #(sorry for hornyposting. as if it’s my fault)

[bowiebond]

Robin and Steve both failing at love so badly as they get well into their thirties and deciding to just marry each other since they’ve already been living together since they were 20 and share a mortgage. Steve had original planned to just have Robin as his roommate until she found someone, and he had like seven kids coming and going but would be out to college in just two years, so a decently sized place (much smaller than his original, empty mansion) filled with Robin’s knickknacks didn’t sound half bad when he was 20 and making the plan to use his inheritance to make the down payment.

They go through the whole she-bang; mostly because Steve always wanted a big wedding and Robin had assumed she’d never have one so she simply made it a big party they could both enjoy. Everyone was invited, and people who didn’t know Robin was a lesbian said their congrats, that they always saw it coming, and they both bare through it with false grins and sneaky eye rolls.

It’s an excuse to get drunk and confess their undying platonic love for each other, even if the ceremonies kiss was awkward and quick, the pair snickering about it later like teenagers even though Robin had kissed Steve plenty of times on the cheeks and Steve on her head when he left for work.

They’re 36 and 37 when Steve asks Robin if she ever considered kids of her own. Robin goes on a long spiel about how terrifying child birth seems but like, she was raised to want one you know? That having a kid is both terrifying but weirdly comforting as an idea.

Steve agrees. They get hammered beyond belief at 37 & 38 and fumble through the most awkward sex know to mankind and they cry-laugh for weeks about each others sex habits and how bad they both are in bed because “let’s never do that again, oh my god, I definitely like girls, Steve” and Steve’s not even offended because it was purely for one purpose and while he likes girls, Robin doesn’t do it for him. Not like that. Not since he was maybe 19 and had a weird lingering crush on her that faded after she came out and he started experimenting with guys.

Steve’s 38 when he finds out he’s gonna be a dad. He cries. A lot. Robin does too, mostly because she’s cries when he does, like how his laughter infects her too.

They argue a lot over the design of the nursery, and Robin complains that she’s too old to be carrying a baby as Steve rubs her feet while they watch a movie.

Robin sleeps in his room more often during the pregnancy. Says it helps her nerves, because she overthinks a lot and it’s kind of terrifying because there’s no going back now. They’re having a kid. An actual human being they’ll have to raise together. A lesbian woman and a bisexual man who are strictly platonic with a capital P, are having a baby in their late thirties, and are married by law but not by heart, and it’s kind of crazy to think about.

“I never imagined my life like this.”

“Honestly, Rob? Neither did I.”

Robin starts attending swim classes with pregnant ladies after El insists it helped her through hers, and there’s where she meets Heather Holloway again. She’s a full time swim instructor at the pool now, unmarried and thriving, and Robin has the biggest heart eyes known to man over her.

Steve hears all about her and encourages her to test the waters with Heather.

“Steve, I’m literally carrying your baby. Don’t you think that’s weird?”

“Say it’s an open marriage if she asks. I sleep around still, why can’t you?”

It’s enough to convince her to follow her heart. Heather is around the house a lot more after that, just to check in on Robin’s pregnancy of course, she must be exhausted after all!

Steve knows Heather is fucking his wife/best friend. Robin had a dopey grin on when she told him. Heather doesn’t beat around the bush either about Steve and Robin’s relationship.

“So Robin’s a lesbian, you’re gay, and you’re basically each other’s platonic soulmates right? So you got married?”

“I’m bi, but yeah. Basically. I can’t see myself living without her, honestly. She’s my soulmate just not…romantically, you know?”

“I get it.” Heather grins when she goes on about a certain blond up in California who’s planning to come visit real soon. That Steve should meet him.

Steve is shocked to see Billy Hargrove again; Heather’s own platonic soulmate.

“I mean, we fooled around once or twice back in the day, but that’s because he has mommy issues, not because he wants to settle down with me.” She joked and Billy has a ball flirting with Harrington until he’s red in the face like a teenager again instead of an almost 40 year old man.

Robin has a girl in the Summer. They name her June, the month she was born and the month they met decades ago. It feels fitting.

Of course, June ends up with a step mom, Heather, who somehow worms her way into their house. Steve’s got the room for it, so he’s not complaining. He likes a full house, likes knowing his daughter is being cared for when he’s at work by Robin and Heather (when she’s not working).

Somehow, Billy worms his way in too. It starts with visiting to see his ‘niece’ as he’d joke with a wide grin. Then slowly, he’s joining them for dinner more nights than he doesn’t, and the guest room starts to fill with his things and Steve catches Billy bathing June because Heather and Robin were exhausted and needed the rest and…

God, he’s falling in love with the blond, deep and so much harder than back in high school. Falls in love with the smile lines around his mouth and eyes, the silvery greys that streak his dark blond hair he cut shorter a few years back. Falls in love with the way he laughs at Robin’s jokes and snarks with Heather and coos at June, calling her ‘daddy’s little princess’ as he bounces her in his arms, Steve watching and always blushing when Billy catches his eye and grins, kissing the tuffs of light brown hair upon her head.

Robin tells him to go for it.

“To think we finally met our romantic soulmates after getting married and having a kid, this has to be God’s way of pulling our legs.” She snickers as they cuddle in Steve’s bed. Because that’s just how they were, touchy and close, and Steve loves her so much. She’s his best friend and the mother of his kid and he doesn’t regret marrying her at all. They’re not in love with each other, but they love each other.

Robins in love with Heather.

And Steve is pretty sure he’s in love with Billy.

“Maybe we should get married.” Billy says one night at dinner, driving an airplane towards June’s mouth. “Robin and Steve got a bunch of benefits. I want benefits. We could do our taxes together.” Heather laughs and looks at Robin.

“You think I should marry him? I could do better, right?” Robin snorts.

“He smells like a dirty gym bag.”

“Your husband likes how I smell.” Billy wriggled his brows and Steve flushed red as the words, head in his hands.

“Not in front of Junie, please.”

“She’s like, not even a year old. It’s fine.” Billy waved it off. “Back to the tax benefits,”

“It is easier when you’re married, in my opinion.” Robin chipped in and Heather sighs, long and loud before looking at Billy.

“…Fine. I want a nice ring though.”

“Well so do I, so I say we have a deal, babe.”

Steve thought he’d be jealous, at least a bit, but he’s grinning when Billy makes a show of dipping Heather at the altar, the pair laughing after their obnoxious kiss that has Robin and Max hollering.

June is cooing and squealing when she gets to dance with Billy and Steve later that night, clinging to her father and grasping at Billy’s curls that are starting to grow out again. Steve thinks he might be doing it just for him since he said he liked them, and it makes his stomach wild with butterflies.

“We should get married next.” Billy hums and Steve chokes on his own spit.

“You’ve barely taken me on a date, and now you’re talking marriage?”

“Didn’t take Robin on a date, now did you?” Billy grins, holding him close around his waist. “Come on, Harrington. Robin and you, Heather and me. Robin and Heather, you and me…it all works. We’re far from conventional. I’ve fucked Heather more than once, I’ve heard Heather talk about jumping you to her own girlfriend, and I know you want me.” He knocks their heads together and smiles, eyes soft. “This thing we’ve got going…it works. You don’t have to hold back on what you want out of this after giving Robin the option of anything and everything.”

And maybe he had been holding back a bit. All he ever wanted was June, a kid, and Robin gave him that, and in return he got her to date Heather, he let Heather drag Billy back into their lives, he let their daughter call Robin and Heather mom and mama before he even got called dada, worked hard to provide them the lifestyle they had with Heather and Billy chipping in and he…

He wanted more now. He wanted Billy. He wanted him to move in properly, for Heather to just come out and say Steve and Robin’s home was her home too, to put a bigger bed in the master bedroom so they could all share some nights because he wanted that. He wanted a big family since he was young and in a way ��� he was getting it. In Robin and Heather, in Billy and June. In the kids who still visited when they could.

“Take me on a date first, okay?” Billy grins.

“That can be arranged.” He kissed June’s head between them and Steve chuckled. “The little princess has to stay home though. I want her daddy all for myself.”

Steve laughed.

“Don’t call me daddy, you’re gonna make it weird.”

“Princess can share. Yeah? June, you can share right? Stevie can be both our daddy.” June giggled and wriggled between them, reaching for Billy with a small ‘Bibi’. The blond laughed and took her from Steve’s arms. “I’m afraid she can share you but not me, Daddy.”

Steve rolled his eyes before grinning deviously with a shrug.

“Whatever. I’ll teach her how to share, Mommy.”

Billy’s cheeks burned.

“Don’t make me pop a boner with a baby in my arms, Steve. People are gonna think I’m a creep.” He grumbled and Steve snorted.

“I’m going to go dance with my wife. Have fun with June.”

“Bitch.” Billy clicked his tongue as Steve walked off to find Robin on the floor.

Steve found his soulmate at 18 in an ice cream parlour. They were platonic with a capital P, and content. She made him laugh, they shared secrets, and they had no boundaries keeping them apart. Hell, they got married. Had a baby.

Now, at 39, Steve re-met his other soulmate. The kind that made his stomach twist and flutter, that made his cheeks hot and his heart full. Made him hot under the collar with his teasing.

And maybe, Robin and him share a soulmate in Heather, and maybe Heather and Billy are linked by a red string too, and maybe they’re just a tangled mess of strings with no definite end. Knotted up in the centre of the four of them.

Steve doesn’t know what the hell he’s gonna make of all of it. Where it will lead him. But for now, he’s happy.

His soul had been split into a dozen pieces at birth, and he had pieced every part back together.

Only took him 40 years to find every fragment.

#billy hargrove #steve harrington #Robin buckley #heather holloway #harringrove #platonic stobin #edging on queerplatonic? #polyamory #keg gang #og fruity four #buckleway #minor hollogrove

[olivcrwilliams]

( jordan fisher, 22, cismale, he/him) OLIVER WILLIAMS , don’t think that you have gotten off easy because i haven’t told the school REDACTED sweetie , no one can hide from me - not even a MEMBER of SIGMA TAU RHO. oh no, your secret is most certainly not safe with me. you know , i asked around about you & most people said that you reminded them of BARRY ALLEN with GOOD DAYS BY SZA playing in the background , that’s very interesting - i wonder how accurate they are. ( marv , 24, cismale, est)

hey everyone. i’m sorry for not being on these past two days. my friends decided to get an airbnb, surprise me, and then just swooped me away. im here now and happy to bring this character to life!

Basic Info;  Name: Oliver Silas Williams Age: 22 Gender: cismale Hometown: Dallas, Texas Major: Secondary Education (Chemistry) Orientation: Homosexual Background; tw: drug mentions, abandonment - oliver is originally from dallas, texas. born to a mother and father who were not at all ready to raise a child. his dad at the time he was born was a pretty respected police officer and his mother had been a nurse at one of the local hospitals. from what he could remember, oliver’s parents were pretty absent outside of coming home at night. for a long time he believed his parents were hard-workers who loved what they did. - often times his older siblings would help take care of him, so it was never something that bothered him (at least that’s what he says). his parents missed a lot of soccer games, theater shows, academic achievements, etc. and he did his absolute best to keep his head up.  - when oliver turned 10 years old, that’s when his life was turned around. he went to bed at 11:00 PM, and was awoken not even 2 hours later to the sounds of people that he’d originally thought they were breaking into his house. he and his brother thought they were being robbed until the realization set in that his parents were being arrested. his mother and father were both trafficking drugs. she was stealing pills from her job and he’d been selling many confiscated drugs that he would take from the confiscation rooms. - oliver and his 4 other siblings were immediately moved to live in dallas,texas with his mother’s parents, who they lived with until the move to college. his parents were going to be in prison for an indefinite amount of time, so his grandparents became his legal guardians. oliver has tried to put the situation past him and do better, but he can’t help to fall back on that overall feeling of abandonment and his parents placing money over their own children. - Oliver’s grandparents were great on the surface, but they were VERY religious. Oliver growing up was always told to act accordingly to their religious beliefs, and while they gave him support and were very present in his life, he’d still felt as if he’d been restricted on a lot of things. - Oliver had to often hide many of his daily lifestyles from his grandparents. When he realize he was gay he kept it a secret. Many other things involving watching certain tv shows/movies, being very left when it comes to politics, going to parties, joining certain organizations, sneaking out to hang out with his friends, him being agnostic, him smoking weed, etc. He learned to deal with it in his own way, and going through heavy amounts of trauma has made him learn to become very humble and very humorous from it. - Things really started to change when oliver went to high school, and his grandparents started becoming ‘members’ of a very shady religious organization. [I’m going to not get into this because it ties into his secret, but hopefully this is enough]. Oliver by force had to be part of this community, and started to see the decline in his grandparents and just how angry they were with the world. He kept this a secret for a long time, and still keeps it a secret because he doesn’t want anyone to know just how badly most of his family has turned out. - Oliver immediately applied to a college that was as far away from his family as he could, and his doing his best to move on from his life. He has dreams of becoming a chemistry teacher while also doing what he can to change the world for the better.

Personality;  -  oliver is someone who has been through so much that he’s learned to laugh many things off no matter how good or bad they may be. he’s always trying to tell a joke or make a witty response to the situation. he loves to make people laugh. it’s hard for him to be serious. - he’s very blunt. he assumes a lot of things he says out loud were said non-verbally. there’s also an issue of him blurting things out of his mouth out of pure impulse. he can also be VERY sarcastic but has trouble detecting sarcasm.  - oliver can be considered quirky in the comedic relief sense. he is very goofy and doesn’t mean to be.  - when he knows not working, he’s always down to be around other people. even if he’s just gotten off a long shift you could still find him at a bar or hanging out with his friends. - he has a hard time sharing his feelings or talking much about himself. it makes him uncomfortable because it usually ties back into his past and feelings he’d much rather forget.  - he’s usually a pretty happy guy and does his best to hide whatever negative may be going on with him.

#MEADOWBANK.INTRO #//i will be getting back to everyone on discord. i've been away this weekend and had to miss opening. let me know if you'd like to plot #intro

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #282

“daddy’s flown across the ocean / leaving just a memory / a snapshot in the family album / daddy, what’d you leave behind for me?”

What is your favorite type of dance? I like modern dances, especially those unusual or creepy with unique music. They’re the dances I look forward to watching in dance competitions. Do you find making scenes in public fun? Oh fuck no. Lemonade or pink lemonade? Pink is Supreme in so many ways. Where do you feel safest? At home, especially if Mom is here. Have you ever been to a gay pride parade? No, but I’d love to. Would you take your dream job if it were out of the country? No. I don’t want to move to Africa. What do you like to do when you're home alone? HAHA okay so I almost exclusively watch Unus Annus when Mom isn’t home because I will almost without a doubt cackle at least once, and… explaining why I’d be laughing would be WILD. UA is a fucking gift & I’mma miss it when it’s gone. What kind of music calms you down? My best bet is nostalgic music that I hold very close, like Ozzy. The soundtracks to SotC and SH2 are also magical when it comes to soothing me. Who did you last go to a park with? Uhhhh… probably not since I took family pictures for someone. Got some nice ones. Have you ever been robbed? Thankfully, no. Are you working, a student, both, or neither? Neither, and at nearly 25, it’s fucking humiliating. I’m thinking of appealing my disability case (you very rarely get it the first time), but of course self-doubt and anxiety just slaps me across the face again and again by asking, “Do you really need it?” That shit is agonizing. Very highly regarded people in my life agree that it’s realistic for me, at least at this moment, while I sort out my mental health. I don’t plan on being on it forever, fuck no. But right now I am, no matter what anyone says, a leech in my home. What's your favorite holiday? Christmas. I prefer Halloween’s “vibe,” of course, but I am much more excited and just thankful at Christmastime, especially now as an aunt with children who *understand* the holiday. Their joy and excitement is enough of a gift to me. It’s always really hard on Mom because she’s convinced she doesn’t do enough (she cries at least once like… every year), but my sisters and I always reassure her. It’s also a nice opportunity to see Dad and my stepmom, also with my sister’s family, and once again we get to see the kids so happy. But enough about them; what I love most about Christmas is I generally am able to put my troubles into perspective and take the time to remember I am, in the big picture, lucky to have what and who I do. And SNOW!!!!! If you can’t tell I’m stoked for Christmas. Do you prefer male or female friends? Both are great, but I’m more relaxed with female friends because of the whole “scared of men” ordeal. What's your favorite dessert? Biiiiihhhhh lemme get my hands on ice cream. Do you ever go on chatroulette or omegle? Noooo, I never did. That shit creeps me out. Besides, I’m shy. What kind of tea do you drink? None. Do you know anyone in a gang? Not to my knowledge… What color is your fridge? White. We decided to use the fridge already in this house versus our old one. Is your phone mostly on vibrate, silent, or ringtone? It’s just about always on vibrate. Do you own black sunglasses? I don’t own any sunglasses. Are you currently looking for a job? Fuck if I know. Not actively, but if something suitable magically popped up, I’d definitely pursue it. Do you watch MTV? No. Do you like to tell people who you like? Historically, I tend to keep my mouth shut about it to people who know that love interest unless explicitly asked, and even then, it depends on if I think they’ll keep their mouth shut. How often do you braid your hair? It’s too short to be braided. I very rarely had it braided beforehand. What color is your microwave? Black. Do you wash your face in the morning when you wake up? If I remember, especially if I’m groggy. Are you interested in the ocean? No more or no less than the average person. What's a big turn on for you? Keeping physical stuff outta this, I’m just such a fuckin sucker for being authentically romantic lmao. Have you ever thought about being a teacher? Heeeeeelllllll no. What's the first thing you do when you turn your computer on? Close out of the stuff that automatically pops up after it starts. Do you drink Gatorade? Ugh, ew, no. Do you hate when people replace 0's with O's? EX: 9:OO AM. Lol no, it’s honestly aesthetically pleasing in some formats. Did you hate riding the bus? Some of my best school memories are the long bus rides home w/ Jason so uh- Do you ever use XOXO in texts, letters etc..? Nah. Has anyone ever told you they liked you to your face? Yeah. Have you ever touched an elephant? No. Reading or writing? Writing. Do you have a childhood nickname? Mom called (and sometimes still does lakjdf;alkwe) me “Twinkie.” She gave sweets-oriented nicknames to all her kids. Have you ever had a Moon Pie? UGH they’re gross. I have this faint memory as a kid of a sweetheart babysitter my sisters and I had always offering us banana moon pies as a snack or dessert, idr. I’ve always hated anything banana-flavored. Has your car ever had troubles? N/A What's your birthstone? Amethyst. Would you join the navy? I want nothing to do with anything remotely related to war. What's your favorite board game? Battleship. Do you like chess? I’ve never played it nor even know the rules. If you’ve ever tried drugs or alcohol, what was your reason for first trying it? I was absolutely parched after a long, sweaty walk and was offered it to “try” by my mom without me knowing it was alcohol… the “WAIT NO STOP” from everyone was so quick lmao. It was just hard lemonade, so nothing super serious. Do you think you could ever have an abortion if you unexpectantly turned up pregnant right this second? I probably would. There is no fucking way I can emotionally handle carrying a baby right now. But I’d feel like absolute shit, even though I’m pro-choice. I just don’t want to picture myself in that situation. Is there a situation where you caved into peer pressure and regretted it? Probably. Although generally, I’m very resilient to peer pressure when it comes to something I really don’t want to do. What is your favorite video game console? Why? PS2, of course. I think the best games came from that era, many ahead of their time. Example, the original Shadow of the Colossus graphics massively pressured the limits of the software, and it still to this day blows me away. Sure, you have some lag in return, but the end result was just magnificent. I seriously, seriously, seriously hope I’m able to play the remake one day. When you lost your virginity, were you sober? I was. As of this minute, what is going through your mind? How I need a change and purpose in life so motherfucking badly. Where’s the last place you went? I was riding around with Mom, doing some errands. Are both of your blood parents still in your life? Yes. When was the last time you went apple picking? Never. Do you have a good relationship with your cousins? We don’t really… have a relationship. We don’t talk, we just kinda “exist” knowing we’re related. What was the last kids movie you saw? I watched some of Hotel Transylvania 3 with my niece and nephew. Do you know anyone who was born in Africa? When I was still in college, there was at least one guy in my class who was. Tutored me in math. Patience of a saint, haha. Have you ever been to an internet cafe? I actually have zero clue what that is. Has the year gone quickly for you so far? I’ve barely discerned 2018-2020, if I’m being honest with you. It’s just a lump of time where I’ve done jack-all. I mean yeah, school fits in there somewhere, but mentally I wasn’t in a wonderful place and haven’t been “happy” for a long time. My mental state has been the same for a few years. How many siblings does your significant other have? N/A Are you one of those people who can drink vodka straight? Oh, I hiiiighly doubt it. I loathe the taste of alcohol. Do you share a middle name with any of your friends? I legitimately have one of the most basic white bitch middle names in America, I know tons. How many pairs of jeans do you own? None. Do you know the name of the pharmacist at your local drug store? One, yes, considering Mom worked there before the cancer and is still in touch with this pharmacist. What flavor is your toothpaste? Mint. Are you sleepy right now? I think I’m permanently sleepy. Do you like crime films and tv shows? Not especially. Are you bitter about anything? Many things. What was the first online account you remember having? Neopets. My older sister helped me set it up when I was somewhere around eight. Do you use emojis? More than I used to. I’m gradually converting from emoticons to emojis, oof. What was the last type of soda you drank? Mountain Dew. Do you remember much from high school? I probably remember too much from high school, if I’m being honest. I remember far too much in far too much detail during the almost four years I dated Jason. Where would you go for the ultimate honeymoon? Probably the Bahamas, mostly for the pink beaches, aha. It would also be an incredible photography opportunity. Do you know anyone who has a strong accent that is hard to understand? My former best friend’s dad was so southern that yes, I could barely understand him whatsoever. If you had to get a tattoo tomorrow, what would you get? If you mean a fresh, new one and not a glow-up on the Mark tribute tat I’ve mentioned five thousand times, a tribute to Teddy featuring his portrait, pawprint, and the Powerwolf lyrics “and we’ll meet where the wild wolves have gone.” I’m going to be picky as a motherfucker about the design itself, though, so realistically it probably wouldn’t be tomorrow since I’d probably commission people to draw in varying styles. Ugh, I need that tattoo gun, my man. What was the last podcast you listened to? Do you listen to it regularly? That would be 4 Peens in a Pod (it’s… not a porn I swear, it’s Fischfuck and the boys lmao). I’m waaaaaaaaaaay behind on it, though. I watch so many different things now that I’m behind on like… everything I watch/listen to. Are you on a first-name basis with your boss? (or last boss if unemployed) I think I was with all of them? What was the last thing you wrote in a Word document? This survey. Because I combine short ones into Big Boys that I usually don’t finish in one go, I save my progress on it. Who do you miss and what do you miss about them? I miss a number of people and would rather not retrospect on them. What were the best and worst costumes you’ve ever worn? *shrug* Do you know anybody who is gay and married? I think so. What did you last take painkillers for? A headache. Are there any hobbies you want to get back into? Ugh. A whole fucking lot. I’ve thought quite a bit recently on how I miss video editing, but I just don’t have the motivation and dedication for that anymore. Have you ever shared a home with a friend? Yes. What’s the craziest or weirdest place you’ve ever slept? Nowhere that strange at all… Probably just like, the floor, but even then with blankets and stuff. What did you have for lunch today and who made it? I haven't had lunch yet. Are you allergic to anything? How did you find out? Pollen is pretty obvious, while serious discoloring and itching let me know I was allergic to silver. Have you ever been on a date with someone you met online? How was it? Yeah, I was visiting her for a couple weeks. It was nice. Who was the last very physically attractive person you saw? In ~real life~, probably some friend on Facebook. Do you know anyone who is deaf? We recently found out actually that my youngest niece is deaf in her left ear due to a massive buildup of fluid in it. I’m so ready to hear about her reaction to hearing normally once it’s taken care of. Has there ever been a person you regret ever being friends with? Probably at some point. “Ever” makes this question difficult. Do you think you have a good understanding on love? Yes. What do you think of your parent(s)? I love them both immensely while acknowledging their flaws. What celebrity do you think should of never become famous? I don’t care enough to think on this honestly haha. Did you ever get into the Twilight saga craze? What about the Harry Potter craze? Neither. What's your opinion about Katy Perry's song "I Kissed a Girl"? It was bold for its time, for sure. I’ve never minded it. Actually since coming out as bi I’ve known that this song has to be included in the recession dances of my wedding if my partner is female lmao. Do you believe in heaven? If so, what's it like? If not, why? I hope there’s some sort of total bliss after death if you’re deserving of such, but I don’t know. I definitely don’t know how I actually picture it. Even if there’s not, well, I’m assuming I just won’t exist anymore, so I wouldn’t be able to care anyway. Sometimes I hope that's the case. What email service do you use for your main (or only) email account? Hotmail. Did you ever believe in the Tooth Fairy? Yeah. I remember there was one time where “she” didn’t trade my tooth for munz and I was so mad lmao. Mom apparently forgot and slipped something under the pillow while I was getting ready for school. How I fell for it, who knows man, kids are wild. How do you feel about Taco Bell? I’m not a Mexican food fan, really, but I do love their cheese (with or without chicken) quite a bit. The cinnamon bite things are bomb as FUCK, too. I’m still mad tilted they took potato products off their menu tho because I used to destroy the fiesta potatoes. How often do you go on to YouTube? I’m like… always on it. Not focusing on it at all times, but something’s in the background. Back when Spongebob Squarepants was famous, were you interested in it? Well of course, man. What's your dream pet? Ugggghhhh a sunset morph ball python, probably. Buuut I’ve seen some over $2k with their rarity. More realistically, I really, really want a Brazilian Black tarantula. And an arctic morph hognose. I want a lot of pets. ;_; Who's been your favorite teacher growing up, and why? God, I have a lot, honestly. All things considered, the answer is probably Miss Tobey, who was my physical science teacher in high school. She’s an extremely close family friend now involved regularly in my family’s lives. She can be… difficult and says shit before thinking, but we love her nevertheless. What's your favorite fairy tale? Fuck outta here if you say Shrek isn’t one. Do you have a favorite pen? Uh, no… I barely ever use pens anyway. Has a child ever asked you a question you found difficult to answer? Yeah; it happens sometimes with my niece and nephew. Name five books you've read in the past year. I think I’ve read the first three Wings of Fire book within the same year, and I’m currently on the forth. Other than those, I started The Testaments by Margaret Atwood, but only got through the prologue I think before my focus shifted onto WoF. I still plan on reading it at some point, though. ^Are any of those books your favorite? No. The prequel to The Testaments, The Handmaid’s Tale, is very high up there, though. Are you a person that enjoys re-reading books? Not at all. Once I read it once, I’m done. There are VERY few books I’ve reread, and most of those were children’s books from when I was little. Do you have a favorite talk show host? Don’t watch any. Which sounds the most refreshing: a hot shower or a cold one? I prefer hot showers unless I seeeeeriously need to cool down. Have you ever made your own soap? No. Can you sleep with socks on? UGH NO. When was the last time you were pissed beyond belief and why? Ummm good question. I don’t know about *that* mad. Maybe when Ashley’s mother-in-law shared a massively homophobic article that condoned conversion therapy on Facebook that resulted in me removing her from my friends and RAGING to my mom about it. That was forever ago, though. Do you have a favorite candle brand? No. What is your opinion on taxidermy? I have… very mixed feelings. If the animal was hunted for sport, then it’s fuckin disgusting; you literally killed an animal with the intention to show off the fact you’re a goddamn murderer. On the other hand, taxidermy of naturally-deceased animals can be educational, and even… artistic sometimes? I don’t know. I can’t really pick one stance over the other. Would you ever want to own a body part in a jar? Actually, yes, particularly of fetal animals (that WERE NOT killed for the sake of displaying), but for the same reasons above, I’m not sure if I would *really* do it. They are incredibly interesting to me, more so than taxidermy probably, but yeah, I still question the morality of it. What is the worst thing you have ever done to your own hair? I don’t think I’ve ever really done a “bad” thing to my hair. What qualities of yours do you think could potentially harm a relationship? I’m very clingy and, in the beginning, very paranoid that you’re going to leave. Have any of your childhood habits carried over into adolescence/adulthood? I had AWFUL separation anxiety from my mom for a very long time as a kid, and I guess that evolved into my extreme inability to handle loss well, maybe. I’d say they’re at least somewhat related. What is the first band that comes to mind when I say 'dark'? Cradle of Filth popped up first. As far as relationships go, what are your biggest deal-breakers? Abuse, arrogance, and distrust probably top the list. Be honest: do looks really matter to you? Nah. It’s nice to be physically attracted to my partner, but it’s not a must. Have you ever done something simply because you were of age? No. Do you think it's worth it to tell someone you had feelings for them when you don't have them anymore? I mean, what’s the situation? Are you hanging out, talking about relationships casually? I’d say it’s fine then if it’s relevant to the conversation. I don’t think it’s worth going out of your way to tell someone you liked them if you don’t anymore, though. Have you ever done something you once thought you'd be too chicken to do? Y’know that ride at fairs where you go up really high on a circular thing with other people and then drop abruptly? That. I screamed like a mf lmao. I had to put a lot of effort into not yelling “SHIIIIIIIIIIIT” lmao. What's a food you love but don't get to eat very often? Stuff involving shrimp, ig. What's your favorite mythical being? Dragons! Have you ever felt a baby kick? I don’t think so, and I don’t want to, considering it’s fucking terrifying to me. I can’t even see a baby move without screaming and wanting to hurl. When is the last time you did something truly fun, and what was it? Who the fuck knows… What is the worst thing you've ever done when you were really angry? Said things I shouldn’t have. Are there any pills you take on a daily basis? If so, what? A lot. I can’t be bothered to go through all of them. At what age do you first remember feeling butterflies in your stomach around someone? I’m not sure. Do you feel that way around anyone now? I don’t think so. What is your main heritage? German or Irish, idr which is more prominent. What is a song that you hate to admit you like? “Bitches” by Hollywood Undead came to me first lmao. What inspires you to get off your bum and do something productive? More than anything, watching inspirational YouTube videos. What part of your body have you had the most problems with in your life? I suppose maybe my ears? I had tubes put in as a kid, I had an absolutely agonizing ear infection once, I had earwax adhered to my eardrum, and they've always been STUPID dry and flaky. Are you watching your weight? Like a hawk, but it doesn’t seem to matter anyway. :^) Have you ever become really good friends with someone you found online? Most of my closest friends I’ve met online. What is the coolest tattoo you've ever seen? You’re asking the wroooong person, lol. I’ve just seen way too many… Have you ever created anything artistic that you're proud of? If so, what? Lots of things; drawings, some writing, photographs, video edits… What do you like on your hotdogs, if you eat hotdogs? Just ketchup and mustard. What is a subject that makes you uncomfortable? Sex. What is a subject you can talk on and on about and not get sick of it? MEERKATS and MARK What is the worst thing someone could do to you emotionally? Tell me I’m weak. Or that my mental illnesses truly do make me unlovable. Just essentially do fucking not make me feel what Jason did. What is the worst thing you've ever done to someone emotionally? Said some extremely mean and potentially scarring shit.

#survey #quiz #questions #questionnaire

[keyofjetwolf]

GIFTENING Bonus Rounds

For each category, I included a “bonus round” question. YOU GUYS KILLED IT. I loved all the answers, but listed below are some of my particular favourites.

Haruka Tenoh is trapped in the wrong anime! Which would you have her visit next?

I want her to earth shake Kyubey out of existence, please and thank you

My bride is a mermaid. She can relate. :P

i think she would THRIVE in bodacious space pirates. gay teenage space pirates whose job is to dress up, be Dramatic, and rob the wealthy??? that shit is RIGHT up her alley

Hamtaro

Princess Tutu - where the world is finally as dramatic as her

PGSM (and Michiru is trapped with her, for REASONS)

Pokemon because everyone deserves to be happy

Any moe-style series so hijinks can ensue at her being baffled by everyone's ages

1960's Speed Racer

is is this a captcha or something i missed oh god

Free! so she can be indifferent to all the hot men and slightly uncomfortable because she still can't swim. 

Stick Haruka in a Gundam!

Dump her in Pretear or one of the Precures! It would be hilarious! She's never in the genre she wants to be!

Revolutionary Girl Utena, so she can be offended by misuse of roses.

Initial D, she will out-drive and out-drift all those guys and steal all their girls.

Evangelion. I would feel bad to watch her suffer, but it would be so, so funny for her to be the comparatively most normal person around.

Yakitake Japan! SO SHE CAN HAVE A SNACK OF DELICIOUS RIDICULOUS BREAD BEFORE THE NEXT INTERDIMENSIONAL ANIME STORM WHISKS HER AWAY.

The Holograms or the Misfits? DISCUSS

Holograms

both? both. BOTH IS GOOD

misfits bc Evil Ladies Hot

Steven and the stevens

Misfits.  How dare you make us try to think about anything in our lives.

Both, you mad fool. Those combined songs were the best.

The Misfits, their songs are better

The Misgrams: A group of girls who form a singing telegram start up company, but constantly deliver the telegrams to the wrong people.

kimber & stormer

Neither. Limp Lizards all the way. BROKEN GLASS.

I do not know what these things are

Misfits because guitar motorcycle

The Isle of Misfit Holograms

Holograms is just arguably better

I mean, I’m told the Misfits’ songs are better, but my true answer is the band Kimber and Stormer made in that big gay episode you liveblogged (checks) almost four years ago.

I've no idea what these words mean and I hope this does not make me TOO uncool.

this is about jem, right? right?? im hip i swear

Misfits, because Jasper is a member apparently

I don't know from Jem, but I mean...I certainly prefer holographic material to Glenn Danzig? So I guess there's your answer ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The Stingers

LIMP LIZARDS FOREVER

Senshi Band

You can make me liveblog a full series of any show you want! You also hate me. What do you have me watch?

Pick a GoT rip-off, any GoT rip-off

The Bachelor?

The Bachelor :(

depends on how much i hate you, but....probably the bachelor. quantity AND lack of quality

Critical role, it would take forever

If I were a horrible person who sought only malice?  Big Bang Theory.  Entire series.

Toddlers and Tiaras

The Mandalorian - Disney would come after you and kill keyofjetwolf just as dead as keyofnik.  We would all be very sad, you would have to go through a second round of restoring things to a new tumblr account, and your organizational heart would weep over adding yet another hosting site out of chronological order.

You are liveblogging Eva, and must discuss in full detail Shinji's emotional state at all times.

Hannity & Colmes

The Kardashians. And all of their spin offs. *kisses*

The price is right

the bachelor

Probably something with lots of romance and no friendships. Soap operas are like that, right? My college roommate used to watch General Young Light Restless Hospital of Our Lives (which one had Like and Laura?) And it was torture.

One Piece, because it's over 900 episodes so you could maybe do 10% before you die, also you will hate how the women are treated most of the time.

Fushigi Yuugi. Not only do you hate it but it also comes with you squirming when you admit to watching the whole thing. ;) 

Plus belle la vie. It's an ongoing French soap opera that has been airing five days a week since 2004, they're nearing their 4000th episode and there's no end in sight. Imagine all those hours upon hours submerged in French drama, mwahahaha!!

The Bachelor.  Or the Bachelorette, maybe - more straight dudes in that.

The Young and the Restless - IT IS THE LIVEBLOG THAT NEVER ENDS. IT WOULD OUTLAST THE INTERNET.

The entirety of the Bachelor franchise.

You can only play one game for the rest of your life. Which game would it be and why?

Kingdom Hearts Complete Collection. A) I love them. B) I beat the system and get like 10 games instead of one.

Gemcraft. This game actually takes a lifetime to finish.

Hatoful Boyfriend. It is the best game ever created. Feel it in your heart.

that's a mean question and you can't make me answer it

Pathfinder, which you could play for the rest of your life and still never finish.

Civ VI , so I can rule the world without leaving my house.

I am legitimately perturbed by this question and refuse to answer it.

Pokemon Go. I would have nothing else, but I would catch them all.

The Elder Scrolls Skyrim: I'll never run out of side-quests.

Mass Effect--it's the only way I'll get full completion. 

The dinosaur game on Chrome when the internet doesn't connect because my life is monotonous and it's a welcome relief. 

Stardew Valley. Peaceful farmer life and turning my children into doves when I'm bored with them.

Crabs Adjust Humidity

Oh my! A number of things come to mind, not one of them fit for print. Just, you know...*gestures vaguely* sex shit. 

I can't even stick to the ones I play now.

This is the worst of all possible things and I refuse to answer. 

Monopoly, I hate myself :(

Probably Minecraft! I haven't gotten into it because I know if I start I will NEVER STOP. Who would do things like build a hundred foot tall statue of Mako-chan? A-THAT'D BE ME.

the game. Of LIFE! *shrug emoji*

I don't believe I'll tell you, because I AM a salty little fish and it was HARD to cut that 11th choice off my vote.

Holligay and I are going to be the leads in a new buddy film. What's the premise? How does it end?

Be gay do crimes. Thelma and Louise. Duh. :P

I have no idea but only just surviving disaster is how it ends.

You break down in a small town during a roadtrip- your stay is full of hijinks and ends with you teaching the townsfolk the true meaning of friendship.

Doctor Holligay, Esquire, PhD, renowned Jewish femme of many talents, is assigned one Operative Jet Wolf as her bodyguard on a foreign diplomatic mission/vacation/culinary tour of the world ("same difference, shut up, narrator"). One problem: Operative Wolf needs a bodyguard herself, as the good doctor discovers when in one night her toilet is destroyed ("IT WAS A SECURITY THREAT") and Operative Wolf nearly breaks a leg falling down a small set of stairs ("THEY PUT A CLIFF OUTSIDE THE DOOR"). Worldwide shenanigans ensue as Holligay and Operative Wolf learn the true meaning of friendship, and also how to take care of themselves... by taking care of each other.

I’m not sure about the premise, but DEFINITELY it ends in murder.

Someone posted a major spoiler during one of your liveblogs. The two of you track them down seeking revenge. It turns out it was the original creator of the series trying to stop you. For some reason Holligay is a CGI badger.

It's clearly a buddy cop movie, and like all good buddy cop movies, it ends with Doc almost dying, and you saving her, and slapping her wound in the hospital as the credits roll.

It ends as it began: with Holligay roasting you.

A straight detective and her lesbian partner have to solve the case of the missing cinnamon buns.  It ends with nobody getting the guy OR the girl and you drive off into the sunset together, perps behind bars sans cinnamon buns.

I don't know what it's about but I know it will be the only movie that ever existed. 

Holligay is the lesbian chief of staff to you somehow being elected President and she's basically running the country while you're the charming face of the administration

Nerd and cowgirl meet at a bar, justifyingly murder some gross dude, go on the run from the law and have a life-changing road trip, on the way Nazis are punched

carrying a delicate object through a forest after your helicopter goes down

Thelma and Louise, but instead of dying, your deaths are clearly faked and you live on a ranch in Montana with your respective spouses and animals. One time a cop comes by the restaurant/bar you joint own with Doc and says, "You look familiar." Doc, in perfect lesbian, answers, "Jet's just got that criminal look, on account of how much she'd love to steal my cheesecake recipe. More pie?"

Queer Eye with a Straight Goy. The two of you do the show but in your own special ways.

Doc Holligay is the wild-west no-nonsense sheriff. Jet Wolf is the all-fun cyberpunk cop from the future. They punch nazis and argue about food. It ends as a tv series ala B99.

Your lives are already a buddy film, don’t get greedy.

Hands and socks.  You know how it ends.

See Grumpy Old Men for details.  How does it end?  Badly.

I can't imagine the premise, but I'm pretty sure the planet explodes.

A Coen Bros film. It ends poorly.

Wait? You're not already living this now? 

REI HINO

REI HINO

Sure. Why not?

HINO REI

<3<3<3<3

REI HINO!

Rei who? ;)

REI HINOOOOOOOOO

Plush Is being hugged by Zoisite in your banner.

MINAKO AINO

MAKOTO KINO

The best

SOCKS

MICHIRU KAIOH

It's time tooo.... REI! THAT! HINO!

sponsored by Here! curry

LOVES USAGI LOVES REI LOVES USAGI LOVES REI LOVES USAGI LOVES REI LOVES USAGI LOVES REI LOVES USAGI LOVES REI LOVES USAGI LOVES REI LOVES USAGI LOVES REI LOVES USAGI LOVES REI LOVES USAGI LOVES REI LOVES USAGI LOVES REI [THIS REPEATS A LOT A LOT AND IS GLORIOUS] [...] LOVES USAGI LOVES REI LOVES JETWOLF

(THE REAL ONE)

Isn't how you spell Makoto Kino!

THE REAL ONE™

obviously

IS NOT A RHINO

In conclusion: Rei Hino

Rei Hino is giving this Giftening finger guns

BEAUTIFUL, STUNNING, SHOW-STOPPING, TALENTED, AMAZING, WONDERFUL

Hot stuff, lights my fire, blazes it regularly. I am out of fire jokes.

PASSION FLAME, SAILOR MARS

These hot feelings are C'EEEEEST LAAAAA VIIIIIIE c'mon rei-chan why aren't you singing along

IS THE BEST (I know who I'm talking to)

Ara!

DID DOCTOR HOLLIGAY PHD NOMINATE THE OPTION OF TALKING ABOUT MICHIRU KAIOH FOR 6 HOURS!!

If Hot Pocket were to plan One Last Heist, what do you think would be his objective? What would be Mina's role in his master plan?

Master Hot Pocket seeks BREAD. His friend and loyal companion, Mina-pup, acts as a distraction, as he has learned the humans are easily distracted by cute. While she does her sworn duty as Best Friend and Cutest Goodest Girl, probably with lolling tongue and glee at all the pets she receives, he picks the locks on the newly childproofed pantry, and Master Howard H. Pocket FEASTS AS NO CAT HAS BEFORE.

Every bag of flour in Montana; Mina runs distraction with her adorable puppy eyes

Open every container, leave none unmarked. Mina is the lookout who greets whoever comes and is completely ineffective at her job.

TAKE ALL THE FLOUR. Do it straight from the source: FlourCo Inc. What does a 10-pound cat do with eighty thousand tons of flour? If you can't figure that out, there's a reason he's the brains of this outfit. Mina would obviously be the bumbling lovable distraction to security or other people.

Bread.  Mina is The Face who provides distraction to the Keepers of the Bread by walking up to them and being herself.  Mina has absolutely no idea that Hot Pocket is using her in this manner because Hot Pocket is that Machiavellian, but Mina is a pocket full of sunshine in canine form and probably would just be happy to help out.

Hot Pocket knows that no mammal of the floor believes in flour anymore. It went away a long time ago. It doesn't exist. But what he also knows is that they're wrong. A lack of opposable thumbs won't hide the truth from him. He'll find the stash, and when he does, he'll stick his paw in it. Mina, with her limited climbing skills, will lick its remains from his claw and prove his discovery. As well as provide a warm place to curl up on for the aftermath of their adventure.

His goal is to sample every edible thing he can get his teeth on. Mina pulls triple duty as step stool, distraction, and scape goat

The Silver Crystal. Mina would play the role of Sailor V.

He is getting ALL THE FLOUR. Mina is a lovable distraction.

Looting all the carbs in the pantry. mina is distraction.

mina's role would be the "dopey" but talented best friend who it looks like HP is going to betray for the sake of the plan but then it all comes together when HP mounts a dramatic rescue. i dunno i'm still in film mode from that last one.

The Holy Bread Locked Within the Cupboard.  Mina would be the distraction, but she'd forget what she was supposed to be distracting from and end up leading you to him.

I am the Void. I am the Night. I am the Darkness with no hope of dawn. The Flour trembles before me in it's bleached fluffiness. It shall not escape my chaos, which will descend upon it like the Terrors of the Deep, claws and teeth and gnashing. It will howl at my claws. It will scream for my teeth, sharp and white, stars in the night of my fur. I shall tend and tear and -- Dammit, Dog-thing! How am I supposed to be terrible and terrifying with you wagging your tail and panting at me!? Oh, you found a good warm sunbeam? I guess I can stalk stuff later. I am the Void. I shall absorb the Sun's light and warmth and bring it into my Darkness where it cannot escape...

I'm new here and don't know all the complex lore of Jetwolf(fairly sure Mina is dog), so I'm going to assume that Hot Pocket is an actual hot pocket and his heist is robbing Fort Knox using Mina as his loyal stead/get away car. Then he explodes a microwave or something.

i lik the bred

Mina as the distraction while he takes one last tastes of EVERYTHING 

objective--stealing more chips; Mina--surprise betrayal 

The scene: Mama Jet's pantry The Objective: the bag of cake flour Aunt Doc made Mama Jet buy but she's never used Mina: confused but excited escape vehicle and/or scapegoat

RAIDING THE KING ARTHUR FLOUR FACTORY. Mina is of course adorable and keeps everyone's attention while Hot Pocket swan dives into the flour like Uncle Scrooge

Hot Pocket would definitely try to steal a monument, Carmen SanDiego style. Mina, of course, is the multi-talented and super cute face of the operation.

I have no idea who Hot Pocket is

HP would try to scale the tallest building in the world. Not to steal anything, just to be up there. Mina would be the adorable diversion.

It would be to get whatever food you've left on the counter. Preferably bread. He would tell Mina that he'll give her some of she acts as a distraction. She's a good dog so she does. He's a cat so she gets no food.

Truly, truly, THE GIFTENING winner is us all.

#THE GIFTENING 2019 #THE GIFTENING 2019 admin stuff #long post for ts

[scienceoftheidiot]

So, 1 week after, here are my thoughts on Endgame. 

I liked the film, this is the thing you need to know. 

Rest of the thoughts under the cut, not in any order, and of course SPOILERS AHEAD 

Also careful as I put ALL my opinions there. Dunno if it’s unpopular or not and frankly I don’t really give a shit. 

Time travel. Didn’t expect that, rather some shenanigans with Strange, so time travel + Antman ? I’m game, thanks for surprising me. I think Antman is now my favourite Avenger. And I haven’t seen Antman and the Wasp, so uh. I was a little put off. lol. 

Since we’re on this subject : why oh why do you all go to fucking TONY’s to talk about time travel when Bruce is still around ?!???!!!!  Tony is a genius engineer. He does physics. BUT NOT THIS KIND  Bruce is the closest you can have for time travel (I would have gone to Pym but eh he’s gone).  further proof that in cinema, all scientists are interchangeable (if... you can call Tony a scientist. Mmmmmeeeehhh depends on the definition) science rant off/  Physicist = BRUCE. NOT TONY  

Tony was fucking grating all the damn movie. I understand his reactions, I understand his motivations, but really ? I have started to not like him much a few films before, and now it has culminated. So I guess now I’m team Cap. Always been team Cap anyway, except during civil war when the sole well written character is Black Panther. 

the 5 years gap ? the most stupid part of the movie. I can suspend my disbelief (not all the (russian) nuclear plants have exploded without enough supervision, for example, well I think so, we have no idea how the rest of the world has coped because USA USA USA)(the french ones are supposed to calm down and “turn off” in this case)(i said SUPPOSED) but there are things that should be addressed    It’s only used as a background and never made in perspective as a European, we know that 5 years ? Is enough to rebound. No “big empty places” unless you have decided to make a reserve of it (which they should have taken the opportunity for, given Steve’s comment about whales in the Hudson. Animals grow faste than humans). Economy is probably thriving by then, and all this. The whole infrastructure is still there, nothing to rebuild. I’m fairly sure people have started to make a lot, a lot a lot of babies.  The people returning at the end ? All their family have gone without them for 5 years ? How do they deal with that ? All the economy is going to collapse again. Families are going to be broken again. People are going to find themselves without a home, without a support, without anything.  And if you think it works, I would engage you into reading what happened to the people who survived camps after WW2. And nothing of this is addressed. It creates more problems than it solves them and all of this because of this 5 years gap to give a daughter to Tony and some (badly made fake) belly to Thor.  Spiderman ? goes back to high school ? and his friend is still there ? so his friends was snapped too, or else it’s a monumental fuck up. Unless you’re extremely dumb you don’t stay 5 years in high school you know  This gap is unneccessaty and made there just so Tony can have a kid so his death is more dramatic or whatever. It sucks. Even during the film it put me off.  oh it’s maybe also there because they want Thor to totally collapse, which brings me to 

Thor  The next time I see someone saying “Thor isn’t like this ! Thor would never collapse” has not seen the same films as I did (and probably is one of those Ragnarok haters who have not understood the movie)  Thor can collapse. In fact, it’s just as understandable or actually even more, than Tony doing so in the beginning of the movie (who is the only one who hasn’t lost a loved one ? hey, Tony ! Thor has lost his country, his brother, his parents, and he has LOST, he fought and lost, and this isn’t something he is used to).  No, the probelm with Thor isn’t that he’s collapsed and is now an alcoholic (and actually more of an alcoholic than Tony ever was shown to be when he’s supposed to be one - Tony never tries to find alcohol or else. Tony is a.... Tony c’est un putain d’alcoolique mondain. Pas franchement intéressant. Pas un poivrot. Thor est plus intéressant qu’un alcoolique mondain. Sorry for the french I can’t translate.  The problem with Thor is that it’s played for the laughs.  I don’t mind Rocket slapping him - it’s ROCKET dudes, he is a fucking arse with no social capabilities you think he’s going to help his sole partner while they’re supposed to do a mission ? No, he slaps him. Cause he’s an arsehole. It’s IN CHARACTER  No, it’s the way it’s filmed. The Russos tried to do a Waititi, but they didn’t understand Ragnarok, just like half of tumblr apparently, and played this for the laughs, without any finesse, without any of the things that made Thor in Ragnarok relatable and not the butt of a joke. Once it’s alright, the surprise of Banner finding Thor this way and all.  A few lines here and there, okay Not this constant “look Thor is fat and depressed and alcoholic haha who would have thought it’s so funny let’s have more” 

It didn’t enrage me but it’s very very meh 

I don’t know if it was the French translation but almost all the fucking humour was off. 

Time travel is full of plot holes. I don’t care about that. But time travel is slippery and they fell in all the holes. Luckily for them, I watch Doctor Who. I have learnt not to see the holes (Doctor Who does it better though eeehhhh) 

I don’t mind and actually liked all the returns to the past, I know people found it shitty, I liked it. 

Loki... eeehhh. He’s in ANOTHER timeline now. If he comes back, he better have an explanation. A GOOD ONE 

I won’t watch the Disney series anyway so I don’t really care about what happens, do your thing, I’m off 

Big battle at the end : YES 

I WANT TO BE WALKYRIE WHEN I AM A GROWN UP 

SHE IS BADASS 

SHE HAS ALWAYS BEEN AND I ALREADY WANTED TO BE HER IN RAGNAROK SHE IS ME

BUT NOW SHE HAS A FLYING PONY 

IT’S AWESOME

I WANT TO BE WALKYRIE OKAY 

Now I have thoughts about identification and Hollywood stereotypes of races and the way they mix gender expression and sexuality - but if that interest someone I’ll just tell them in private. Just know that I’m white and straight, yet I almost only identify to non white and often non straight female characters. So there IS something to look into there. I don’t give a fuck in what race or sexuality the characters I identify with are - unless Tumblr decides I can’t cosplay Walkyrie because I’m white or this kind of bullshit - I just find it interesting, because I only identify with ONE type of women, and these women are always such. So there is stuff to dig up imo. ANYWAY  BACK TO YOUR REGULAR SCHEDULE 

I hate MCU Spiderman

I hate MCU Spiderman

I hate MCU Spiderman 

His presence and his talking and all ruined all the fucking scenes he was in 

ESPECIALLY TONY’S DEATH 

Dude ? you know him for barely a few months ? You are so dependant on him ? I know you’re young, but... you’re not 10yo, and you’re supposed to have been Spidey WITHOUT him before ? and what you do is just basically worship the ground Tony is on all the time ? 

TONY IS DYING AND THE ONE WHO STAYS THERE AND THAT NO ONE KICKS AWAY IS SPIDERMAN ???? 

LET PEPPER BE THERE 

HECK EVEN CAP HAD MORE HISTORY WITH HIM 

I swear I was 2 seconds away from screaming when Pepper finally pushed him away. 

You, my little arsehole baby Spidey who apparently can’t do shit alone, have robbed some of the last seconds of Tony’s life from his love. Thank you Spiderman 

Spiderman has more screentime than T’challa and I will always be salty about it. T’challa, Tchuri, are far more interesting and important to this story than Peter Parker. 

Spidey rant off/ 

Where is Captain Marvel ? Away on Plot Planet so that she doesn’t ruin the film by being too strong. She still Deus Ex Machinas her way at the end. 

I have nothing against Captain Marvel, she’s for me like Superman, too powered so uninteresting. 

Remember who my fave  superheroes are ? Daredevil and Hawkeye(s). Superpowers don’t really do it for me, eh. So that’s it. 

CAPTAIN AMERICA HOLDING MJOLNIR 

I DIED 

THIS WAS PERFECT

I MIGHT HAVE SHOUTED 

I LOVED IT 

Cap was redeemed to me by this film, after Civil War which fucked him up and Infinity War where he was... not really interesting (best char in IW ??? THOR FFS) 

Cap’s end. Is the best. I don’t care about the timeline bullshit and how it shouldn’t work and all this 

Cap comes back to Peggy and they live happily ever after and I’m so happy for them and that’s it. 

Natacha? The whole soul stone thing was dumb. But given the context there she HAD to die. 

I am not salty about her dying though. 

BUT WHY DOESNT SHE HAVE A FUCKING FUNERAL 

EVEN WITHOUT HER BODY DO SOMETHING HAVE SOME TIME TO REFLECT ABOUT HER AND REMEMBER WHY YOU LOVED HER AND MAKE A SPEECH AND ALL THIS 

TONY HAS THIS ? BUT NOT NATACHA ? SERIOUSLY ???? 

bon petite parenthèse j’ai du mal avec le prénom natacha (natasha ?) pke la seule meuf que j’eu jamais connu avec ce prénom était une grosse conne qu’on a fini par appeler natachatte et je ne peux pas penser à natacha sans que mon cerveau ne me rappelle natachatte voilà merci. Natachatte tu es surement toujours une grosse conne, mais bon. En plus je suis pas hyper fan de Scarlet Johansson mais passons 

I liked that she was eventually allowed some emotions in there btw. 

But she died. And no one mourned her for more than 5 minutes. That is the lot of people dying in the middle of movies. Bleh 

By the way if I see once more that she was fridged I’m going to kill someone

this is not fridging THIS DIDNT CAUSE MAN PAIN 

THIS DIDNT CAUSE ANY PAIN AT ALL AND THIS IS THE PROBLEM 

Smart Hulk is funny for 5 minutes then becomes really not funny and really not interesting and seriously the interesting part of Banner is his struggle with Hulk, why do this 

The “Gay mention” at the start ? Really not something to be proud about when you could have used the actual non straight characters you have around (cough Walkyrie cough Captain Marvel cough hell even Loki) BUT enough to stop Russia from showing the film in English so they could censor it. Bravooooooo. I feel for my Russian friends, as I know Russian dubbing is not exactly the best in the world. All this, boasting and all, for this seriously meh scene with an unknown character we don’t give a shit about, and it leads to that. Seriously. 

I think I’m done. 

I’m done? 

Morgan Stark was unnecessary. Also calling her Morgan is making stuff difficult. Cause there’s another character called Morgan Stark in the comics and I had trouble finding her when I didn’t remember her name. 

I hate Gwyneth Paltrow but Pepper is perfect 

Which is weird because I really don’t like Tony there but eh okay. 

Thank God for Antman. Paul Rudd is my baby and his character is the sole funny one. 

Hawkeye as Ronin is... seriously not as interesting as he should be, and there were moments when I really wondered why they bothered with such an underpowered character that did. Nothing. 

Also that phone call ? that phone call ?????? why would Ronin have kept his phone when he... is Ronin, doesn’t let people contact him, and has lost his whole family ? I almost yelled in the cinema. You need to explain me why he has this phone there. 

The “girl power” shot was way too much, unnecessary, and I really didn’t understand how and why all the girls were there suddenly at the same place when they were all scattered around the battlefield seconds before. Do your job, write good and varied female characters, this is NOT USEFUL and tacky and... dumb. Really. Don’t. 

Okay now I’m done. These were *some* of my thoughts 

I still liked the film, mind you, I’m a good public, give me action and jokes and people I like on screen and I’m good. It was a good moment and I don’t regret seeing it. 

Now I think I am done with the MCU, maybe appart from Antman and Black Panther. Guardians of the Galaxy if James Gunn comes back (but I’m kinda afraid of Thor being there, the joke about “who’s the captain” was already WAY TOO MUCH in the film, I can’t have that for a whole film - plus “new Gamora” means there’s going to be some very cringey scenes and Quill will try to make her love him again and this is going to be... boring as fuck because we’ve already seen it. Nope.) 

It was a good end to it. Now ? All I want is for people to Save Daredevil of course. I have no interest into anything else, thanks. 

#spoilers #endgame spoilers #avengers endgame spoilers #avengers spoilers #spoiler

[drarryruinsmylife]

With A Little Bit Of Sugar

Request by: @toasterstrutle 

“Yo, I'm a huge sucker for soulmates au's, same with coffee shop au's, and any story where characters A and B (in this case Draco and Harry) get stuck in the same room for a long time.” 

°One Shot

°Pairing: Drarry (Draco x Harry)

°Warnings: Slight NSFW??? Idk??? Harsh Language

                                 ~With A Little Bit Of Sugar~

“Only one more hour to go.”

With a heavy sigh Ron leaned against the little open doorway that leads to the kitchen, whitch is seperated from the rest of the Cafe’.

“Yeah. I miss my bed.”

Harry, his best friend and workmate, chuckled and threw the piece of cloth he used to clean up some of the already empty tables over his shoulder.

“I miss my girl, Hermione.”

It’s been about two years now and Harry still didn’t get used to the sight of his two best friends being all lovey dovey with each other.

Ron and Harry have been besties since they were little kids. They met in school and never left each others side until this very day.

And Hermione?

Well, she was a new kid when they were in second grade. She used to live far away, but due to her dad’s promotion (he’s a dentist) they had to move and that’s basically how the trio found each other.

As time grew by, Ron and Hermione got together and as soon as they could call themselves adults the two of them moved into a nice flat together.

Harry, too, had a flat of his own, but unlike Ron his lover was his bed.

Why I said lover and not girlfriend?

Well, our little Harry is gay.

He discovered that during fifth year in his school. At that time, he also had his first actual crush.

Sure, he found some girls pretty before that. There was this girl called Cho Chang, he fancied her but he never told her. Not because he was too afraid, more likely because the thought of being with her, kissing her and...doing certain things with her seemed so absurd to him.

In other words, he quickly got over that ‘crush’.

There was a short period of time where he found Ginny Weasley, Ron’s sister; cute and he even considered going on a date with her, even tho he was scared of Ron’s reaction, but he just couldn’t.

Even after she told him that she liked him he rejected her and moved on fast.

Luckily, she found someone that could make her happy.

It was until he walked into class that Harry told himself he just wasn’t intrested in those two specific girls.

It all started with this one french class.

Harry was forced to choose between spanish, latin and french.

Latin didn’t even cross Harry’s mind once-like who the fuck speaks latin anymore?

And spanish and french were his least favourite languages, but since he had to choose one, he decided to give the french class a try.

Ron, that idiot he is, lost his sheet, so the teachers said he had to go to spanish, while Hermione volunteery joined the latin class (WHO THE FUCK SPEAKS THAT ANYMORE).

The dork he is, he ended up being late on his first day at french class and had to sit next to a girl that wouldn’t stop talking.

He remembers her name was Pansy something. She had black hair and always wore black, white and green clothes. For example her favourite green skirt, combined with white high socks, black shoes, a white blouse and a green, sometimes black tie around her neck.

But the most remarkable thing about her probably was her red lipstick.

Pansy however doesn’t even matter that much in this story.

Who mattered much more was who she was friends with-Draco Malfoy, the boy that everyone would tell you to stay away from if they were in one of those cliche’ teeny movies.

The thing was, Harry had just discovered who he was as a person, and then someone like Draco Malfoy steps into his life, just like this, and messes up everything.

He used to play Basketball back then, and just because of Malfoy messing with his head and his heart, Harry never showed up at practice anymore.

Harry had never been less interested in Basketball; he was rapidly becoming obsessed with Draco Malfoy.

In other words, Harry had the hugest crush ever on Draco Malfoy himself, and there was nothing he could do about it.

Nothing other than masturbate every chance he got to the thought of Draco and him getting it on.

There was a little party in their school and everyone was there. Of course, some alcohol was involved, which is why Harry believes that this was the reason for what Malfoy did, but when they were outside the school and talked about deep stuff, Draco kissed him.

It was Harry’s first kiss and he felt his heart burst with joy. But that heart got torn apart the next day, when Draco told him it was a big mistake and that he was disgusted by what they did and that, if he sees Harry anywhere near him or his friends again, he would beat the shit out of him.

The next day, Draco was hanging on Pansy’s lips and when Harry wanted to confront them, Malfoy turned his words into reality.

The poor boy didn’t know what hurt more; his heart or the bruises his classmate caused that day.

Whatever it was, Harry decided to ignore the pain and Malfoy for the rest of his life, which was hard because he left quite a weird looking scar on his forehead.

But, the years passed and they all finished school and went on with their lifes.

And they never saw each other again.

A little ring was heard from the bell hanging over the door, signaling Ron and Harry that someone just entered.

“I’ll take this one. You can go and get to your girl.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, go. See you tomorrow. And tell Hermione I said hey.”

They said farewell and as Ron left through the backdoor, Harry grabbed his little notebook and walked towards the costumer, that sat with his back to him.

Strange, he thought. No one else seems to be here anymore. And it’s oddly dark for this hour of the day.

But since he wanted to be a professional, he just shook his head and put a smile at his tired face.

“Good evening, sir, what can I bring yo-”

There was a small sound heard of something colliding with the floor, and Harry’s face looked like death itself.

No way...

“Potter?”

“Malfoy?”

“Potter.”

“Wha...what are you doing here?!”

“Obviously, I wanted some coffee.”

Harry’s jaw dropped. After all this time, and all he said was that he wanted some goddamn coffee?!

Who the fuck gives two shits about a coffee in this situation?!

“What?”

“Didn’t you hear me? I mean, I get that I damaged your stupid face, but did you get deaf or something? I said I wanted a coffee. With a little bit of sugar, if you can tell what sugar and what salt is.”

Harry was mad; no he was furious.

“Is that everything?”, Harry growled, his fake smile obviously covering up the storm inside the young male.

“No, that would be it.”

Draco grinned at Harry’s misery, but as he watched him walk away into another part of the building, Draco’s mask fell.

His eyes became teary and he had to bite his lip in order to keep the sobs from coming out.

What has he done?

It was at the time to apologize.

He whiped away the tears quickly, shut the front door with a switch of his hand on the lock and walked to where Harry has disappeared.

“Potter.”

Draco entered the room and slammed the open door shut behind him...only to find horror on the others face.

“No!!”

“What?”

Instead of answering, Harry just yanked at the door, which won’t open.

“You idiot, Malfoy! This door needs a key to be opened, and my key IS NOT in THIS ROOM!!!!”

“Fuck.”

“Yeah, right.”

The boy sighed and sat on a little two seat sofa.

Draco sat next to him and looked through the tiny room.

It seemed like a storing room for small things, like flour and sugar and all that kind of stuff.

And, to his surprise, there were an open salt and an open sugar package on the little cupboard.

Okay so, either he was trying to poisen him with that salt, or he actually was checking which one is which. Did he take his nasty comment seriously?

“Look, Potter, I actually came to talk to you.”

Mentioned one turned his head to Draco, and suddenly their faces were way closer than they should be.

It took him back to the party...and the day after.

“You see...ugh, I’m not good at this, okay?”

Draco took a deep breath and felt relieved that Harry now didn’t seem as angry anymore; he actually seemed very interested in what Malfoy had to say.

“First of all, I’d like to say that you still have not aged up one bit. I mean, oh god, sorry I...”

And there was it-a small chuckle, almost unnoticed, but Draco heard it clearly, and his heart jumped.

And suddenly it felt so much easier.

“Harry, I am sorry. For everything. You see, back then, when we were in school, Pansy always told me about you and how good you would be for me. In this state of my life, my father was sent to prison, because he robbed a building and hurt people in the act, He was getting blackmailed and saw no other way out than to do what they said. The one that made my father do it-ugh that fucking asshole, he broke my whole family apart.

He’s in prison too, forever, while my father was supposed to get out after five years, but...he died in his cell. He slipped in the small bathtub und hurt his head, and the staff didn’t give two shits so he died due to the bleeding.

My mother never was the same anymore and I had only myself, Blaise and Pansy. So when she told me about you, I wanted to get to know you so badly.

Harry, after a while, I had these thoughts about you, and they scared me because I never thought about someone like this, let alone a boy I just met a few weeks ago.

I kissed you that night because I wanted it, I didn’t drink one bit alcohol. And I was aware of how it felt and I was aware of the way I couldn’t sleep the whole night cause you kept creeping into my mind and god, I was aware that I was no good for you.

So I hurt you to stay away. to make you walk away from me because you deserve so much better. I’m selfish, but this time I had to think about you. When I kissed Pansy, I felt like throwing up, cause that cheep lipstick felt so wrong, and your lips felt so right, and when I hit you I felt like I was dying.”

There were tears in both boy’s eyes and Draco raised his hand to slightly brush his fingers over the scar he made.

“I bet I left even worse scars in your heart, didn’t ?”

Harry nodded, but then took Draco’s hand in his.

A sob escaped his lips and Harry finally pulled him into a tight embrace.

“Draco, we both made mistakes. Let’s forget what happened, okay? Fuck, I’m so happy to see you again.”

They both laughed a bit before they looked into each others eyes, and then, finally finally finally, they leaned in and their lips locked together.

Neither could hide their smile anymore when their lips met, and when they pulled away, they were grinning like idiots.

Draco cupped Harry’s face with his hands and leaned his forehead against his.

“I missed that.”

Harry smiled.

“I missed you.”

-

The next day, Ron and Hermione walked into the Cafe’ and were confused when they saw Harry’s jacket and keys on the counter.

“Harry?”

Since they got no answer they opened the little door to the store room.

“Oh my god!!”

Shocked the couple stared at a sleeping Harry on the couch, a sleeping Draco in his arms.

Hermione pointed to the cupboard.

“What did they need the sugar for?”

Hope you liked it, sorry if I got anything wrong. Lots of love!<3

~Jen

#harry potter #draco malfoy #drarry #harry x draco #draco X harry #oneshot #ask #request #au

[artificialqueens]

BloomingViolets.com (Pearlet) - Leatwerpenn

A/N - Hey guys, so, this was something that I was working on while I was trying to get back on track with Stars. This is an extremely long One-Shot based around the song Violet by Hippo Campus. (I saw a prompt on here a really long time ago to write a fic that included this song. So. Ta Dah!) This is actually based an an asian movie If you can guess the movie we need to become best friends instantly! Enjoy. >.<

BloomingViolets.com See with golden eyes the novocaine, lullaby Matt sat back on his desk chair, sighing loudly. The stack of paperwork in front of him was making him feel  depressed. God, when is this going to be over? “Matt, get on with it, I needed that report done like, yesterday. How am I able to give you this next case, if you’re too lazy to close this one? You like your job? Right?” Santino towered over Matt, yapping at him like an annoying dog. Most of the time, he liked to ignore Santino; It made him go red and this vein always seemed to pop out from the side of his face. He made Matt laugh, not intentionally of course. Matt however, had heard about a new and exciting case through the gossip mill, and he wanted in on it. Badly. Am I going to have to eat your ass before you give me something other than boring online betting scandals? He mused. He got his head down and started on the pile of paperwork. Much to his dismay. Matt, was a 26 year old man. Very gay. And very single. It wasn’t that he couldn’t get a partner. He was a one-night stand type of guy, he didn’t like to get attached. His parents were flaky and that was who he chose to blame for his own physiological detachment problems. He was also not ugly, this made random hook-up’s a lot easier. He just walked into a bar and all guys, and some women, fawned over him. His sandy blonde hair was usually styled to appear messy. It was shaved shorter at the sides, which complimented his strong jawline. Out of work, he would describe his style as ‘effortless slob’. In work however, he was always dressed to appear as dapper as he could, given the uniform. Matt’s best feature however, were his sparkling blue eyes. They were a beautiful shade of aquamarine and they sparkled in the light just like the jewel. “You done?” Santino barked. He stood next to Matt’s desk flicking through the papers. Matt studied him as he flicked through his work. He was sporting a frown but was feeling confident. “This is actually really good Matt.” “You sound surprised?” He replied. “I’m impressed.” Santino smirked, and pulled a folder from behind. “This is your next assignment. It’s different to anything you have ever done. One of our biggest cases right now. And we need you to catch her.” “Okay?” Matt stated, raising a quizzical brow at the comment. He took the file from Santino and opened up to the front page. Staring back at Matt was a screen-capture of a website. A beautiful women laid spread out across the front page, her creamy skin exposed. Her waist was tiny and her legs we’re to die for. What caught Matt’s attention though, was her face. She had beautiful golden chocolate eyes which seemed to stare right into the depths of his deep blue oceans. They were hooded, and seemed to hold so much mystery. He was speechless. Matt knew he was gay, but right now, this women had him captivated. Maybe it was the lingerie? He thought ideally. Matt started to flip through the case file, and the little that had already been gathered was quite telling of who this mysterious women was;  Name: Violet Chachki (Likely an alias)  Age: Unknown (Approx. 18 – 25)  Location: Unknown (Suspicion of an eastern time zone location)  Website: www.bloomingviolets.com Wanted for: Internet Prostitution. Alleged black market dealings. (Further charges may arise upon investigation)  “For now, just find out what you can online. She only comes out to play at night – as far as we know, and you can work from home. I’m switching your shift to nights while you are on the case. I need daily reports though. Got it? Catch her, no matter what. I’m counting on you Matt.” Santino patted Matt’s shoulder and walked away from his desk. Fuck my life. Matt groaned. “And remember, ALWAYS follow protocol!” _________________________________________________________ Reach and crack the sky With an open mouth, peace inside Matt became an officer of the law because he wanted to help people. He liked online crime because, quite frankly, he was lazy. Online cases meant he could do a lot of his work from home. Online evidence was hard to fight with in court, which made his job easier. Some 10 odd years ago, online crime wasn’t even a thing. But now, you could do just about anything online. Betting, robbing, trading illegal substances, and now, apparently prostitution. Matt looked down to his keyboard and typed. B-L-O-O-M-I-N-G-V-I-O-L-E-T-S-.-C-O-M He scoffed at the name and loaded the website. The figure from the screen capture stared back at him. Just like before, the beautiful women stared at him longingly. God, she is pretty. Those golden eyes. Matt tried to enter the website, but noticed that you had to create a profile. To create a profile, you had to link it to various social media sites and an email account. Fuck, she is careful. Matt spent most of the evening re-activating his alias Facebook and Instagram account’s. Luckily - as an officer of internet law, he was required to have all sorts of fake accounts. Linked to other officer’s with fake accounts. He found the whole thing irritating but it was the only way to catch perpetrators. Matt started to enter his “personal”, fake information, into the website. Please choose a screen name – Matt glanced around his small apartment, taking note of his décor. He loved the sea. He collected everything to do with the ocean. His favourite painting caught his attention. P-E-A-R-L. Welcome to Violet Chachki’s page. Matt stared at the video feed in front of him. It was currently paused with the announcement ‘Next live feed in 1 hour’ written across the still paused image. Matt studied the image, taking a screen capture, and printing it. Violet was good. Her background was very non-descript. The room was well lit, with a bed towards the back wall. The bed looked inviting, it was decorated with an array of pillows and blankets, all in different shades of purple. Above the bed hung a large photograph of the women herself. It was a black and white close up, you could clearly see all of the details on her face. She is gorgeous. The rest of the set up was plain. A leather office style chair was just to the side of the camera, with what Matt assumed, was a desk in front of it. The walls were painted a creamy colour. Perhaps a rented property? He couldn’t tell from the photo if it was inside a studio or a private residence. From the left side however, he did notice the change in lighting.

Large windows? Natural lighting? Matt made notes and started to navigate himself through the website. He noticed it had 4 tabs. Home. Videos. Images. Archive. Matt started with the ‘Images’ tab. He printed every photo, making more notes as he went. He noticed most of the photos seemed to be taken in the same location as where her live feed was set up. She wore many different outfits and posed in varying positions on the bed. None topless, or showing too much though – he pondered. Matt selected the ‘Videos’ tab and was greeted with only a handful of videos. He played each one and it was mostly very similar to the photos. Never nude, never showing too much skin. Damn, this might be harder than I thought. He clicked on ‘Archive’ and noticed a schedule for when Violet seemed to go live. She did sessions between 6pm and 3am – and then again from 6am – 8am. She was never consistent in her timings though. Why does she do two sessions? Matt noted down her schedule. He went to his small kitchenette to make himself a coffee and snack. He cracked his back a few times stretching as the coffee brewed. He then changed out of his work uniform and into sweatpants so he was more comfortable. Matt pulled his laptop over to the couch and waited for the live feed to begin. He found himself getting shaky with anticipation. Why am I nervous? Suddenly, the live feed started to move. He noticed that the look of the page also changed. The video grew larger and moved over to one side. Whereas, down the left hand side a text box appeared. At the top of the page he noticed all of the user’s whom were logged on and waiting. Violet Chachki has 389 viewers. The box read. Holy shit she’s popular. Matt sat back and watched the comments section explode. Trixie: OMG wat is she ganna wear. _SH3A: Where you at ho I want my show. FaMe: Violettttttt hurry uppp I need my fix. Matt watched the comments in fascination. Now he understood why this case was so hot. The comments kept coming in. All asking for the beauty to make an appearance. Matt’s eyes focused on the screen. He jumped a little when the women in question sat down on the desk chair. She pulled the chair up close to where the camera was situated, and pulled a keyboard out to sit on her lap. Fuck, she looks adorable. She wore her hair in soft waves around her cute face. A cream and pink coloured negligee-nighty style dress clung to her slim figure. The nightwear had an adorable pink coloured nightgown over the top to give her some coverage. Her make-up was minimal, with a little pink blush and eye shadow to bring the look together. She looked like a Japanese Lolita girl, and Matt was digging it.

She moved so she was sitting cross legged on the chair, and that was when he noticed that she was wearing white lacy knee high socks. She had on a pair of adorable pink fluffy slippers on her feet. Careful now - he warned himself. Violet, very considerately, placed headphones into her ears and moved a microphone over in front of her pink glossy lips. She fluttered her long lashes at the camera before speaking. “Hello everybody. What a lovely Tuesday it has been! I see a total of 9 new users today, so, welcome!” She spoke very clearly and carefully. She had an odd voice though. It sounded deeper than most women, but Matt was kind of digging it. “Now, just so you know how this works. I am going to explain. The first 10 minutes are free for everybody. After that, you must pay 10 dollars per half-hour to view my stream. Every so often, I may perform a private show. These are won on a bidding system, highest bidder wins my time for 10 minutes!” She spoke robotically, reciting the rules and guidelines of the website. Fuck, this shit is expensive. “So… What do you guys want to see from me today?” She asked. Matt glanced to the left hand side of the screen, scanning through the comments. butyourdadjustcallsmekatya: Fuck my pussy with a rake mom. Trixie: Show us your outfit! _SH3A: Shut up and get to bidding. FaMe: I got paid today! I can’t wait to get to bidding! Matt continued to read through the comments.  Gaysgodie: You are all disgusting faggots. Matt sat and stared at the comment for what felt like minutes.  What? Matt went back to looking at the different screen names. He noticed that a lot of the names were female.  Wait, was this a lesbian prostitution website? “Oh look guys, our regular troll ‘Gaysgodie’ is here again. Well, this bitch paid $100 this morning to watch me perform a private show. And we all know what goes down in private shows.” Violet said, winking at the camera. Matt was confused. He started to write notes like crazy. He knew that this case was different, but he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. “Oh look, Gaysgodie logged off. What a fool!” Violet giggled into the camera. Violet continued to converse with a few of the commenters for a couple of minutes. He noticed that she seemed to have favourites. She spoke about Trixie and someone she referred to as ‘Katya’ a lot. “Alright, hoe’s. We’re going to bid now. As always, this is how bidding works.” Violet moved another laptop down onto her lap. Matt noticed that the look of her page changed again, with a ‘Bid Now!’ box appearing underneath the bottom of the live feed. “The bid will last 30 seconds. You can only go up in 5 dollar jumps! Highest bidder wins! Everybody is eligible to bid today. So good luck!” Violet moved the second computer to her left. “Three, two, one! Bid” Suddenly, the bid screen went live. Matt hit a few buttons on his own laptop to record the process. He needed to understand how it worked so that he could do it at a later time. butyourdadjustcallsmekatya: $10 Trixie: $15 _SH3A: $20 FaMe: $25 Dax: $30 Matt watched in fascination as the total went up and up. A small sound alerted the end of the bidding session. “$275! Jesus!” – Matt exclaimed. “See you guys soon!” Violet winked and the live feed froze again. The comment section also disappeared. The words ‘Be back soon’ were pasted on top of the paused feed. Matt sat back. Studying Violet’s face. He noticed her eye’s the most. The golden brown orbs were mesmerizing. Something about her was really captivating his attention. She seemed so comfortable and confident in front of the camera. He couldn’t understand how someone, who was clearly so intelligent, was wasting their time on internet prostitution. What are you hiding? Matt sat back and continued to stare at Violet’s paused image for what felt like a lifetime. He felt his heart get warmer just staring into her golden eyes. He felt at peace. Careful, Matt. _________________________________________________________ American eyes Cherry cheeks and bloodshot eyes Matt was 3 days into the case. And he was now starting to realise why it was such a tricky one. Violet was VERY careful. She never moved the camera, she never spoke about her personal life, and she was strictly business. The only thing that Matt could muster up was that she must be somewhere in the same time zone as himself. Or, perhaps an hour either way. Matt lived in New York, and finding someone here was like finding a needle in a haystack. He had a feeling she was also in New York. He wasn’t sure why… She just seemed to give off the vibe. Call it a cop’s intuition. It was Friday night, and, instead of going out and partying with his co-workers or friends, he was sitting in front of a laptop; “Investigation: Internet Prostitution”. Fuck my life. Please enter your username. P-E-A-R-L

Please enter your password. V-I-O-L-E-T Welcome to Violet Chachki’s page. Matt sat back and scrolled through his phone, looking at what his friends were up to tonight. He didn’t have many friends, only a few. But they were all he needed. He liked a few of his friend Jake’s Instagram posts when he saw that Violet’s page had gone live. Violet Chachki has 11 viewers. Huh? That’s a drop from the rest of this week. Matt made a note that Friday was her least busy night to date. Violet came into the camera view. She was dressed a little differently than all of the other nights. Today, she wore a long bronzed wig, but had on quite heavy make-up. Her eyes were dusted with tones of deep maroon and orange. Her outfit was much more relaxed. She wore a black bra, and matching panties, with an open white men’s shirt over the top. She wore adorable thigh-high socks and her normal pink fluffy slippers. It was in that moment that Matt noticed how young and vulnerable she looked. How old are you Violet? “Hi everybody! It’s Friday night! Why aren’t you guys out having fun! I always say, never log in on a Friday! Go and get some trade!” Violet giggled into the camera and took a sip of her drink. Trixie: I’m just heading out, just wanted to say hey before I left! butyourdadjustcallsmekatya: coming for you Barbra! Trixie: Katya – stop being crazy! Dax: I’m also just stopping by, I have a Grindr date! >.< butyourdadjustcallsmekatya: Trixie, shut your hole. Dax. Be my date! Matt frowned at the comments. Grindr? What? Matt usually didn’t type in the comments. He didn’t want to get involved. But now, with so few people online, he felt like he needed to say something. “Let’s see who is online! Hi Trixie. Katya, have you taken your medication?” Violet raised a brow at the camera and Matt laughed to himself. He had noticed that this ‘Katya’ character was a tad crazy. “Humm, let’s see… Pearl! I haven’t seen you before. Are you new?” Violet stared into the camera, Matt felt like she was looking into his soul. God. Why did you have to be so pretty? Pearl: Hi That’s okay right? Violet started to laugh, really laugh. He thought that the sound was the most beautiful thing he had ever heard. Trixie: Hi Pearl! butyourdadjustcallsmekatya: Fuck me Pearl! Dax: Hi Pearl, welcome to the insanity. Matt chuckled to himself. “Yay! He types!” Violet clapped her hands in front of her like an excited child. Matt thought it was adorable. Matt then stopped - frowning to himself. Pearl: How do you know I’m a guy? He noticed that Violet frowned into the camera. He glanced to the left and noticed the comments explode. Trixie: Well, none of us are really women are we? butyourdadjustcallsmekatya: oohhhhhhhh Dax: aren’t we all guys??? Why would women be here LOL! Matt sat back confused. He decided not to type back a response. “Okay, I think it’s time to bid! Let’s go!” Matt didn’t participate in the bid, his mind was still a little clouded. So are they not women? Are they men? Perhaps transgender? Or… It was almost like a light was switched on in Matt’s brain. A spark was ignited. Was Violet a man? That would explain why he felt attraction towards her. Matt glanced back at the screen and had noticed that she had gone into a private session with somebody else. Knowing he had some time, he decided to make himself a snack and a drink. He re-read all of his information on her while he waited. Everything seemed to be falling into place. He had googled the name Violet Chachki and had no results back. He knew it wasn’t her real name, but he hadn’t imagined that Violet could have ever not been female. Santino’s head will explode with this news. Matt needed to know. “Hey, we are back!” Violet spoke into the camera. She looked exactly the same as she did before the private session. Matt really did wonder what went on in them. He glanced at the viewer count out of interest. It was nearing 12pm on a Friday. Violet Chachki has 2 viewers. butyourdadjustcallsmekatya: Bye bye baby, speak and see you tomorrow. Thanks for the private. 

Matt felt his heart speed up. Violet Chachki has 1 viewer. “Well – this is a tad awkward!” Violet giggled. Matt sighed. Pearl: You are awfully pretty. “Thank you, but I’m really nothing special… Not under all of this anyway.” She gestured to her body, and Matt couldn’t help but shake his head. Pearl: I’m sure you’re lovely. Matt was a little stuck on what to say. He didn’t want to outwardly ask for her gender. He felt conflicted. “So, tell me about yourself Pearl. Are you cute?” Violet brought her knee’s up as she spoke. She laid her head sideways and stared at the camera. Pearl: If I was a guy I wouldn’t kick me out of bed. Violet giggled. “Jeez, I bet you are a right heartbreaker.”  Pearl: Not intentionally, I just… Nevermind. “It’s okay. I don’t expect you to tell me anything. That isn’t why you are here anyways.” Violet looked down as she spoke. “Well, I guess I’m your cheap date tonight. You will get me for 5 dollars.” She sounded so sad when she spoke. It was a complete contrast to how she spoke in front of her larger audience. This is how I will get to her – Matt thought. But do I want to ‘get her’? Matt felt an internal struggle in his heart and brain. He stared at her features and noticed how broken and tired she appeared. He knew he had a duty, but he really didn’t want her to do anything she didn’t want too. “Okay – Let’s start the bid then.” Violet’s website transformed into its bidding interface and Matt nervously punched the amount in. Pearl: $5 The screen didn’t wait for the normal 30 seconds; instead, Matt was taken straight into the private screening session. It looked the same as the open one, except you couldn’t see any other users. The background on the webpage also changed to a deep red. Matt attempted to take a screen capture, but he didn’t have the heart to do it. Instead. He just sat and watched Violet. “So, what do you want me to do? We haven’t worked together before, so I’m not sure what you would like to see. Most guys want me to touch myself? Is that what you want Pearly?” Violet spoke seductively into the microphone. All Matt wanted to do was to tell her to stop. Pearl: No, I just… I dunno… “You paid your money. You are entitled to whatever you want.” Violet spoke carefully.  Pearl: Honestly, you are so beautiful… all I want to do is look at you.

Matt watched as Violet rolled her eyes.  Shit – stop being a pansy!

Pearl: Okay, I just kind of want to know what your website is about. I’m a gay guy and I had no idea this world even existed.

He watched as Violet’s features softened. She bit her lip as if she was thinking of the correct way to respond.

“Well, you know I’m a man. Many of the men that visit my website are either closeted or, just into it. It could be a fetish I guess. For me, I’m here because my family don’t know my sexuality or what I think about gender. So this is a way for me to make a living without judgement from them.”

Matt’s heart broke at hearing that she wasn’t out yet.

God, I hope she is old enough to be doing this. Otherwise, Santino is going to have a field day. “So, what are you into then? You only have a short amount of time remaining.” Violet smiled sweetly at the camera. He had to give her some credit. She was very good at her job.

He knew how easy it would be to just get her to undress and fuck herself. He could take the screen capture and that would be it. Line could be traced. Case closed. But as he sat and stared at her beautiful eyes, he couldn’t help but notice the red around them – which was clearly from tiredness, malnutrition, or a combination of the two.

… Or lack of love and self-worth.

Pearl: It’s okay – I’m not in the mood, I just wanted you to get your money :)

Matt felt like a pussy as he typed it. But – he just couldn’t do it.

Careful now – Matt Thought. _________________________________________________________ American eyes

See peace on earth and truth in lies

Matt actually had to go into the station today. He had a review meeting with Santino, and he would want to know what Matt had discovered so far.

He was dreading it.

Matt had a lot of information, it just probably wasn’t the information that Santino wanted.

He wasn’t even sure if he was going to inform Santino that Violet wasn’t a women.

Matt had been visiting her website, almost daily, for the past 2 weeks now. He often slept through her morning sessions, but her evening ones, they always garnered his attention.

He was noticing trends as well, Fridays and Saturdays were the least busy – and she only worked until she had too. In contrast, Sunday’s were the busiest. Last Sunday, one guy bid over 500 bucks for her time. Matt was gobsmacked.

He also realised that Wednesday’s were her early nights. She logged in at 6pm and was finished by 8pm. Matt knew that a lot of his local gay bars and clubs operated at their best on weekends and Wednesdays. This only made him suspect that Violet lived in New York even more.

Matt and Violet hadn’t conversed alone much. He didn’t want to become too attached, even though he found himself doing exactly that. Two nights ago, they had their first disagreement.

Pearl: Why do you do this? You are clearly intelligent enough to work elsewhere.

“Why are you so self-righteous Pearl? You are paying to view just like everyone else!” She responded.

Violet had got really mad, and Matt had quickly logged out.

It was now Monday morning and Matt couldn’t help but to think about his webcam crush and her beautiful eyes. He sat back in his chair while he sipped his morning coffee. He was lost in thought while he was stirring in the creamer, when he heard someone clear their throat above him.

“Matthew, can you please step into my office. I would like an update on Violet’s case?” Santino stated with a tone of authority.

Careful now. Always stick to protocol. No lies.

Matt got up from behind the desk and followed Santino into his office. Santino shut the door and sat behind his desk, casting a frown in Matt’s direction.

“By the look on your face, I’m going to assume it isn’t all good news then?” He quizzed.

“Not exactly. I have her schedule mapped out and I understand the bidding system. But she is very careful about not divulging any of her personal information. The amount the police provided me with to bid is never enough – she is very popular.”

Lie.  Matt scolded himself inwardly as he broke one of his own warnings. In all honesty – Matt hadn’t even used any of the police stations allowance to bid. He knew that if he did, they would expect the money shot. The screen-capture which would bring her down.

“We will up the allowance effectively immediately. Keep going Matt – if we still know nothing in a few weeks, we may have to try a different tactic.” Santino smirked at Matt but he was afraid to ask what the different tactic could entail.

Careful.

He stood and left Santino’s office feeling even more confused than before they spoke. He knew he had a job to do. But, he couldn’t help but wonder how Violet had gotten so desperate to do such a job.

More than anything, he just wanted to help her.

It wasn’t till the following Saturday that Matt even had much of a chance to talk to Violet. Whenever he was due to work – she was constantly in privates, and when he knew she would be less busy, his friends insisted on dragging him out to the clubs.

“Dude, you seriously need to get laid.” Jake stated while he handed Matt more shots. Matt was the king of getting dick whenever he wanted it. But lately, he just wasn’t feeling it. He even found himself staring at guys who resembled Violet in the hopes that he might find her. Knowing full well she was working. But he didn’t care. He just wasn’t into it.

Grow a pair you idiot.

Matt glanced at the all too familiar computer screen once more.

Please enter your username. P-E-A-R-L

Please enter your password. V-I-O-L-E-T Welcome to Violet Chachki’s page. Matt swung around on his desk chair like a child. Admittedly, he was slightly drunk. He couldn’t help it. He decided to blame Jake. Santino would kill him if he knew that Matt was visiting the website not during working hours - but also when he was intoxicated. However, Matt couldn’t help it. He had been thinking about her all night. Violet Chachki has 1 viewer.

“Oh hey Pearl, I was just about to go. You are on pretty late! Do you want a private?” Matt smiled as Violet spoke to him. He felt like she was staring into his soul.

Pearl: Fuk yess.

Matt typed his $5 bid into the bid box and was quickly entered into the private session. This was only his second time in a private with her. He knew he should feel nervous, but the alcohol was clearly giving him confidence.

“So – we haven’t done this before, what do you want me to do to myself Pearly.”

Matt glanced down at his crotch and noticed that he was becoming aroused.

Fuck protocol.

Pearl: I wantt u to duck yrself

Matt knew he was drunk typing. But he didn’t care. He wanted to see Violet in her most beautiful state. He had been thinking about it since the first time he saw her. When it came to Violet, all rational thinking seemed to leave his brain.

Violet giggled as she read what he typed.

“Is someone a little bit drunk?” Violet asked, she sipped on a milkshake that had cream on the top, and then proceeded to lick her lips. Matt found the entire thing so erotic that he nearly blew his load just from looking at her. With shaky hands, he replied.

Pearl: Mayb my friends took me out to get som but I wasn’t feelin it.

“Well, I’ll make you feel everything you desire baby. You ready?” Violet put her milkshake to one side and stood up from the desk chair. She moved back to the bed and removed her panties.

Matt was gobsmacked, as she laid back slightly on the bed. Her dick was hanging limply between her legs. She spoke seductively.

“Like what you see.” Violet winked at the camera and Matt just growled. He started to touch himself as she took one of her fingers into her mouth and sucked on it. She then moved so her legs were spread out on the bed, with the camera facing her front on. Matt had a clear view of her hole and it was driving him mental.

Violet began to finger herself, sliding a single finger, in and out. Slowly.

Fuck. Matt groaned as he released his own dick from the confines of his pants and boxers. He was fully erect. He could currently see that Violet wasn’t aroused. But Matt didn’t care.

That was when Matt noticed the change to Violet’s page. Suddenly, he could see that his own camera had gone live. Luckily for Matt, he had previously put tape over the camera out of fear that someone might ever want to spy on him. Matt let go of his dick and stared at the screen in confusion. He reached for the keyboard to type when he heard Violet speak. “C’mon Pearly. I will give you a better time if I get to see you.” Violet was still fingering her hole. Only now, he noticed that her dick was starting to become harder. Fuck protocol. Matt angled his laptop screen down so that she wouldn’t be able to see his face. He then ripped off the tape from his camera and took a hold of his dick once more. “Yes!” Violet moaned. Her moaning only spurred Matt on more, and he continued to pump his dick. Up and down. Matt’s pumps soon gained a rhythm that matched Violet as she moved her fingers in and out of herself. He also discovered that she was now fully erect also. He could feel his balls starting to tighten, so he slowed down a little to admire Violet in her most vulnerable state. She looked beautiful. He noticed that her lips were parted slightly with the nape of her neck on show. Matt wanted nothing more than to kiss her neck right now. His eyes moved down her stunning body and stopped on her dick and ass. She looked painfully hard and it only stirred him on more. “Come for me Pearly.” Violet whispered seductively, and that was the final straw for Matt as he blew his load all over himself. He noticed that soon after, Violet came apart. Writhing on the bed as her cum dribbled down her length and onto her hand. Fuck. What did I do? Matt got up and stumbled away from his laptop. He suddenly felt much more sober. He cleaned himself up and put a new piece of tape over his camera. As he sat down in front of his laptop, Matt noticed that the private session had ended, and his camera screen had now disappeared. Violet Chachki has 1 viewer. Matt stared at the viewer icon while he waited for Violet to re-appear. He noted mentally that she was taking far longer than she had before when she has exited privates. Soon, she re-appeared, with just a loose kimono style nightgown wrapped around her petite body. “Hey, sorry. That doesn’t usually happen.” Violet spoke very daintily and carefully. Matt was certain she looked unsure of herself. Pearl: What do u mean? Matt felt his heart speed up as he awaited a response. “I don’t usually come when I’m on camera. I just show what people want to see. I never get off.” Matt just stared at her on the screen. He didn’t know what to say. “Fuck! No! I didn’t mean that I just… I have to go.”  Suddenly, her screen was blank and Matt had never felt more confused. Who are you Violet? _________________________________________________________ Violet, trying to start your riot Time to get on with it and go So the world will always know Last night was blurry. Matt remembered going out. He remembered drinking. But after that… He could only put bits and pieces together of what happened. He remembered going on camera to Violet. She had officially seen his cock. Strangely, that didn’t bother him. Violet seemed to cause Matt to feel things that he didn’t even know he could feel. The only thing that bothered him was that he was stupid enough to have done it on his company laptop. God I’m an idiot. It was now 10am. Matt was standing in the computer shop, staring at laptops. This was the last place he wanted to be on a Sunday. However, if he wanted to talk to Violet the way he wanted too, he couldn’t do it on his work issued computer. He could feel beads of sweat starting to build on the back of his neck. He hadn’t owned his own computer in years. He has always managed to sponge one from work.

I’m so stupid – He thought. Of all of the scenario’s he imagined buying his own laptop, he didn’t think it would be this one. Even though he had taken the plunge and bought the laptop. He hadn’t had the courage to set it up. In fact, he hadn’t done much of anything for the remainder for his Sunday. He was afraid to log into his work laptop, out of fear that they would find out what he had done. Additionally, he didn’t want to set up his new laptop because then he would want to log into Violet’s site. He wouldn’t be able to use his police alias, in case it ever got back to him, and then he would get into even more trouble. The entire situation was a mess, and Matt hated it. Monday morning rolled around much quicker than he would have liked, and once again, he was sitting in front of Santino, giving him an update. Only this time, he had barely anything new to report. “Matthew, I gave you this case because I thought you would be the man to crack it. Perhaps I should give it to someone else.” Matt felt his heart speed up. No – if Santino gives the case to someone else, they might find her and arrest her. “No, I’m sorry. This has just been an off week. I will 100% catch Violet.” Matt looked Santino dead in the eye. He felt sick as he spoke. “Fantastic, then you are dismissed. And remember…” “Always follow protocol – Yes Sir.” Matt nodded his head at Santino and left the office.  _________________________________________________________ Violet, you and your fucked up riot It’s time to get on with it and go So the world will always know Wednesday rolled round fairly quick. Matt had been grabbing screen-captures of Violet whenever he could. Monday and Tuesday’s were always so busy though. He never won a bid. He wasn’t exactly trying to win at the same time, he knew as soon as he won, he would have to get the money shot, and god did he not want to do that. Everything is so fucked up. Tonight however, his friends were dragging him out to get drunk, and hopefully - laid. Matt was so focused on Violet that he hadn’t realised that it had been a really long time since he had been intimate with anybody. Matt was hoping that being able to blow off some steam, literally, would help him get back to being focused on the case. Matt poured himself a glass of wine as he logged into Violets site. After last time, he knew he shouldn’t drink on the job, but fuck it. He was going out in an hour, and if he didn’t already have one drink down him, he would never hear the end of it from Jake. Matt glanced at the familiar computer screen again.

Please enter your username. P-E-A-R-L

Please enter your password. V-I-O-L-E-T Welcome to Violet Chachki’s page. Matt squinted at the viewer count, and groaned. Violet Chachki has 135 viewers.

Matt took a screen capture and noted the view count. It wasn’t overly busy, but it wasn’t overly quiet. Matt knew this was the ideal time to bid. For some reason. He felt nervous. Like a robot, he watched Violet as she started to recite the rules and guidelines of how to bid. Before he knew it, the bidding screen had opened. “Three, two, one! Bid” Suddenly, the bid screen went live. He felt bile rise in his throat as he watched the amount start to accumulate. butyourdadjustcallsmekatya: $10 _SH3A: $15 Jaymezee: $20 Dax: $25 FaMe: $30 Matt took a deep breath. Pearl: $35 Matt continued to watch the screen as the countdown continued to get lower, and lower. Before he knew it, he only had seconds to bid. 5.

4.

3.

2.

Pearl: $105 1. Matt swore his heart had stopped as he was taken into the private bidding screen.  Violet smiled warmly at the screen. “Hey Pearly.” She breathed. Matt swore he felt his heart break. Pearl: Hey Matt’s fingers hovered nervously over the record keys on his laptop. It killed him to do it, but he hit them, and then downed the rest of his wine. “What do you want me to do today?” Matt panicked, he couldn’t believe what he was about to do. He was about to possibly get someone arrested, who was clearly struggling. He suddenly felt an explosion go off in his brain. With shaky hands, he turned the recording function off, and began to type. Pearl: I’m so sorry Violet. I think you are beautiful and do not take this personally, but I have to go. Matt then did something he hadn’t done before. Pearl: X Matt held down the power key, and his laptop shut off. I’ll blame it on a power cut. Matt poured himself another glass of wine, downed it, grabbed his coat, and headed out the door. _________________________________________________________ Then you’ll come to me With a bitter wind, in agony

Matt awoke in the early hours of Thursday morning, feeling well and truly sorry for himself. Once again, he hadn’t managed to hook up with anybody. Everybody just seemed so, bland. He kept finding himself looking for golden eyes in the crowd, and he was always greeted with nothing but disappointment. Matt rolled onto his back and glanced at the clock.  5am.  Why am I awake so early? He groggily sat up, feeling a wave of nausea hit him as he did. He wrapped the duvet around himself and made his way to the bathroom. A while later, once he was feeling slightly more human. He again found himself staring at the log in screen to Violets page. He had never visited her website in the morning before. It felt odd. Why does this feel different? Matt sighed as he entered his information to gain access to the website.

Please enter your username. P-E-A-R-L

Please enter your password. V-I-O-L-E-T Welcome to Violet Chachki’s page. Matt squinted at the viewer count, and sighed. Violet Chachki has 5 viewers. Thank god I am not the only viewer. He glanced at the viewer’s online and found that he didn’t recognise any of the screen-names. What? Bob: Violet. Can you just get to bidding already? I need my shit. Th0rgy: No! I need it more! AcidTrippBetty: Shut the fuck up and let her get to bidding you fucktards. AleXXXis: Who is Pearl? Matt didn’t recognise any of the user’s screen names, and Violet wasn’t currently on screen. The live feed was paused. And why were they asking who he was? Why does it feel like I have walked in on something that I shouldn’t have?

Matt just sat back and waited for Violet to appear. The chat went fairly quiet and nobody was really saying anything of interest. Matt’s police instinct took over slightly, so he grabbed a screenshot of the chat and printed it, just in case his intuition turned out to be correct. Minutes later, Violet appeared. Matt felt his features soften at seeing her. She didn’t look much different. He noticed that her make-up didn’t seem as tidy, but apart from that, she still looked perfect to him. Violet placed her headset on her head and tucked her legs under herself. “Morning bitches.” She then seemed to stop and stare at the computer screen, a frown gracing her features. Matt bit his lip, frozen. “Pearl, why are you here?” Violet asked, very directly. She sounded angry which startled him. Pearl: Because I pay subscription? Matt wasn’t sure what else he was supposed to say. He sat back and waited, tapping his foot. “Pearl is a first time customer for morning sessions so he get’s this private. Sorry ‘bout it.” Violet spoke so direct and robotically, much like how she did when he first encountered her. Matt found it extremely odd. Suddenly, he was pulled into the private screen without entering any kind of bid. What is going on? “You idiot, why are you here in the morning? What the fuck are you doing?” Violet’s nostril’s flared as she spoke. Matt had never seen her so pissed off. Matt ensured that the tape was over his camera before he started to type. Pearl: I wasn’t aware that I couldn’t log on during the day? What is your deal? Matt breathed heavily while he watched her reading his response. “You can’t be here during the day. These guys, they are a different crowd to the night bunch. They want…” Violet looked down as she spoke. Matt noticed how broken she looked. He was confused. Pearl: Talk to me. Tell me what’s wrong? Matt felt his heart break as he watched a tear slip down her face. “These guys… they just want different things than the night crowd. I do different things… I provide different services. I wish I could explain but I really shouldn’t. I know the cops are after me. I bring in a lot of money for doing stuff that I shouldn’t. Someone in New York is after me because my security systems have alerted me to it.” Violet was picking at her nails as she spoke. At the mention of the police, Matt felt his heart stop. “Just, don’t log on during the morning okay? I don’t want you to think of me as the bad guy.” Violet looked up, staring directly into the camera. Matt felt tear’s pricking at his eyes at the sight of her so sad. Pearl: I could never think you are a bad person Violet. Just lost, or maybe desperate. We all do questionable stuff when we are desperate. Just, be careful. Okay? Matt could see his hands visibly shaking as he typed. “I always am. Do you mind logging off as soon as you leave this session?”  Pearl: Of course. See you later. “Bye Pearl.” Pearl: Bye Beautiful x Matt logged off and sat back, running his hand over his face in exasperation. Fuck, what else is she doing online? _________________________________________________________ Clean the sea you’ll see The sky is lost in the company Matt knew he was in trouble. As soon as he arrived at work, there was a note on his desk, asking him to see Santino. IMMEDIATLY. Matt gulped as he sat in front of Santino. He nervously tapped his foot in anticipation.

“Matthew, I gave you the Violet case because I thought you would be the one to crack it. Now however, I am not so sure.” Santino rose and moved over to sit on the desk, next to Matt. “I swear Santino – I really am trying. I am so close to cracking it.” Matt could feel the sweat building on his brow as he spoke. He knew, that as soon as the case was handed to someone else, that they would be able to figure out that Violet wasn’t a women, and that he had been keeping that from them. “It’s not good enough Matthew.” Santino spoke sternly, narrowing his eyes at him. Matt gulped. Fuck, just give him a crumb. “Santino – Just let me have longer. Look, here is some information I have gathered just over the past few days! I swear, I think I’m close!” Matt shakily handed over the case file of what he had on Violet so far. Or, at least what Santino thought Matt had on her so far. Fuck.  Matt began to nervously bounce his leg up and down again while Santino flicked through the case file.  “Interesting.” Santino stated. “But still, not enough. I’m going to bring Detective Donigan on the case to work with you. That way, we should have enough evidence by the weeks end.” Santino sounded cold as he spoke. The weeks end! “What? no! We will need more time! Trust me, she isn’t an easy one to crack.” Matt felt like he was fighting a losing battle. The only thing he could think about now was running home as fast as he could to tell Violet to get away from her website and never look back. “I know this, which is why I thought I’d put my best men on it. Now, take this case file to Detective Donigan and please brief him on everything you have gathered thus far. You will both operate at separate times, this way, we can watch her almost all of the time. Goodbye Matthew.” Santino got up and held his office door open to Matt. He quickly snatched the case file off the table and marched out of Santino’s office. Fuck Donigan. I need to get home. Matt put the case file through the shedder, grabbed his jacket, and ran home as fast as his legs could carry him. _________________________________________________________ American eyes See good on earth and truth in lies As quickly as Matt could, he made his way home to his apartment. When he got home however, he realised it was only 3pm, hours before Violet was due to log in. For the next few hours, Matt busied himself destroying all of the evidence that he had gathered on Violet. The only thing left was his laptop, which was going to be the most challenging to wipe. Matt did some research on his own laptop, trying to find places that would be able to take care of it for him. But, he was failing with no such luck.

He was also trying to come up with some kind of story as to WHY all of his evidence had disappeared. So far, he was coming up blank. Fuck, why did I have to fall for her? I should have just stuck to protocol!

Wait. Fall for her?

Matt felt stricken with panic, as the reality of the situation was starting to sink in. He had fallen for a man, whom he had never met, online. And he didn’t even know what this man truly looked like. He had never been so confused. This wasn’t who Matt was. He wasn’t a lair. He wasn’t anti-social. And he certainly wouldn’t break the law. With a heavy heart, he sat down in front of the laptops, growling at them slightly with resentment. I should have known. 

It was, once again, Friday night. And Matt was sitting in front of his laptop’s. He booted up his work laptop, and his personal laptop simultaneously. He couldn’t delete the Pearl profile yet. He needed to, somehow, inform Violet that she was in danger, while not alerting the police to suspicion. Fuck. Please enter your username. P-E-A-R-L

Please enter your password. V-I-O-L-E-T Welcome to Violet Chachki’s page. Matt squinted at the viewer count, and sighed. It was still only 6pm, and even though it was a Friday, the viewer count wasn’t as low as he would like. Violet Chachki has 7 viewers. He glanced at the list, he would need to find out what Detective Donigan’s alias would be. He didn’t know the detective that well, which wasn’t helpful. However, luck seemed to be on his side, as she only had 1 viewer whose name he didn’t recognise.

Wait. 1 new viewer? Fuck, is that Donigan? Violet was speaking, very politely, to the new viewer. Matt felt his stomach drop, knowing who she might possibly be talking to was driving him insane. He glanced at the chat to see if the username gave anything away.  Milk: Oh Violet, you are so cute. I cannot wait to get you on your own. Milk? What kind of name is that? Matt started typing when he heard Violet speak his name. It was like music to his ears. “Oh hey Pearly. How are you gorgeous?” Matt smiled at her calling him gorgeous, but now was not the time to feel  flattered. He needed to get her into a private as soon as he could. Pearl: Hey Vi, quick private before I go out? Matt never would normally directly ask for a private. But he needed to try and get her on her own as quickly as he could. She didn’t respond, and that made Matt nervous. Milk was continuously flirting with her through the chat and it was driving Matt insane.  “Alright, this bid is about to get heavy!  Start your engines, and may the best bidder win!” Violet winked at the camera as the bid went live. Matt was prepared to win this bid. No matter what. Milk: $10 Pearl: $15 Milk: $20 Pearl: $25 Milk: $30 Pearl: $35 “Woah – looks like it’s only a two horse race tonight!” Violet giggled.

Matt’s heart was racing, he could feel sweat building up on his brow in anticipation. The possibility of losing the bid was killing him. He waited until the final possible second before submitting is final bid.  Pearl: $75 He then sat back and glared at the screen. Praying that he would be the final bid. He glanced at the countdown and noticed that it had 1 second left till it would be over. Oh no. Milk: $80 Milk has entered a private session with Violet Chachki. “NO!” Matt yelled, grabbing the laptop and throwing it at the wall opposite.  Everything is over. All of the possible scenarios were running through his head at Olympic speed. What if Milk caught her straight away? What if she was convicted and put in prison? What if he was called to testify? What if he ended up in prison too? Matt couldn’t take it and he broke down. Tears were flowing like waterfalls and he didn’t know what to do. In times of crisis, he often went to his friends. But how could he possibly explain any of this to his friends? Matt was lost. Once his breathing returned to normal. He stomped back over to where his laptop had fallen and opened it up. He was at least going to try and warn Violet. He knew that as soon as Donigan had the evidence, he would track her location and she would be put under arrest. He would need to warn her straight away. Matt was shaking while he waited for her to be done with her private. Strangely, as soon as he logged back in, he noticed he was the only person online, and the session was already over? Pearl: Hey, I need to talk to you. Can you put us into a private? Matt knew he sounded desperate. But he has asked to talk to her privately twice now, surely she would realise that what he needed to say was important? Violet looked like she has been crying when she finally made eye contact. Her make-up was running slightly and her nose was red. Pearl: Hey, are you okay?  The seconds Matt waited felt like minutes of silence. Pearl: Vi? Answer me. Go into a private now. She still didn’t respond. She looked so broken. Fuck, did she know? Matt then noticed the bid screen go live, only this time, he didn’t even have to submit a bid before he was taken to the private screen.  Pearl: Violet, I have to ask you, did you take your clothes off, and show your body to that Milk person? Matt sat back and awaited a response. Violet still wasn’t moving. “I’m such an idiot. Detective Matthew James Lent.” Violet’s voice broke as she spoke the last part, and Matt’s brain froze. He didn’t know what to do or what to say. He just kept staring at her, speechless. Knowing that she knew who he was, he ripped the tape off of his camera and showed his face for the first time. Violet’s brow crossed and he swore she looked even sadder than before. Matt then turned his microphone on and asked: “Can you hear me?” Matt’s voice was shaky. He was so afraid. “Yes.” She whispered. “Violet, I am so sorry. And I would love to explain to you who I am and why this is so messed up. And I would love to know how you figured me out. But, I cant right now because I fear that you are not safe.” Matt explained. Choosing his words very carefully. He didn’t want to upset her any further. “What do you mean?” Violet queried. “Your last private? I have suspicion that Milk was a detective. Meaning, if you exposed yourself on camera, that he may have taken evidence, and it could be enough to arrest you.” “Oh.” She didn’t even seem phased. Matt’s brow knit in confusion. “No, I didn’t, he was just asking about any new customers whom I have been getting close to. That’s when it all kind of clicked that you were the original officer sent to arrest me. His time ran out – obviously, he didn’t do his research and didn’t realise that he only had 10 minutes. As soon as he logged off I banned his username, like I always do, when anyone is suspicious.” Violet explained. “Thank god. You are safe. For now, but you must stop Violet. I have destroyed all evidence on you, so they will have to start from scratch. But, they will send in as many officers as they need to catch you.” Matt felt his heart breaking for her. “I cant though, I need the money and I don’t know what else to do with myself.” Violet hugged her knees to her chest, as tears started to fall. “God I wish I could comfort you.” Matt breathed, not realising what he said. “I wish you could too.” She replied. “You know I can’t log into the website anymore right?” He stated. “I know.” Her voice sounded so small and tiny. He had never seen her look so vulnerable. “Violet, be safe okay. You are clearly intelligent if you found out who I was before I found out your real name. Please, use that intelligence. God, you would make a fantastic cop.” Matt laughed to himself at the irony. He noticed that she cracked a small smile. “Are you on your work computer?” She asked. “Yeah, why?” He responded. “God, you are so dumb. They could be recording this entire conversation. I was going to tell you my real name, but I can’t. I need to keep myself safe Matt.” Her lip quivered. “So, this is goodbye?” He asked. He hadn’t even thought that they could be recording all of his interactions with her remotely

Fuck, I’m doomed. “I guess. Goodbye Pearl.” Violet’s eyes were watery again. “Goodbye Violet, you are the most beautiful person I have ever had the pleasure of getting to know.” Matt could feel his own eyes starting to water. Not wanting to end on a sad note. He winked at the camera and she giggled. He then pressed and held the power button before the computer turned off. As soon as that was done, he walked into the kitchen and placed the computer on the floor, before grabbing a hammer from under the sink and smashing it into pieces. Matt laid back on the tiles and cried for what felt like days. _________________________________________________________ Violet, time to start your riot Time to get on with it and go So the world will always know Matt could hear the sirens as he laid on the kitchen floor. The past few hours were a blur. After Matt composed himself, he bounced straight into action. He then ran from his apartment as quickly as he could, dumping his laptop into the river on his way to the bar. He picked a fight with a butch looking bear-type and proceeded to get punched in the face numerous times. Then hurried back to his apartment and trashed it. Making it look like a burglary. He then laid on the floor, and phoned the police. Weeping into his phone. “This is detective Lent. I have been robbed, please send someone.” This is the biggest lie that Matt has ever told. But, what calmed him was that at least it would be his last. Matt was then escorted into an interview room. Santino stood over him with a frown on his face. “They only took your work laptop? And some jewellery that was on you? Isn’t it weird that they didn’t take your other computer?” Santino questioned. Matt’s heart sank at this realisation.  “My other laptop wasn’t in view. I think they just didn’t see it. “Do you think it has something to do with the case?” Detective Donigan asked. Matt frowned at Donigan. “No, it wasn’t Violet. She has slim build. This man was big and bulky.” Matt hoped that they believed him. Of course, they would never find the culprit. “We can check the buildings security cameras. But you said they came through the window?” Santino questioned. “Yeah, they did, and they left through the window too.” Matt lied. “Or, at least I think they did, I was fairly zoned out by that point.” Matt explained, as he removed the ice pack from his face, which was starting to turn 10 shades of purple with the bruises that were forming. “Okay, well, I think it goes without saying that you are off the Violet case Matthew.” Santino crossed his arms as he spoke. “I figured.” Matt sighed. “You don’t seem too fussed, before, you seemed so desperate to stay on it.” Santino stated. “I’ll be honest Santino. This case has made me realise that perhaps, the police, or being a detective, isn’t my calling. Perhaps I was meant for something different.” Matt glanced at Santino, who just looked confused. “So, I am handing in my resignation as of today.” Matt handed the envelope to Santino, and he snatched it from Matt’s hand. “Fine, you can leave. Best of luck. And we will keep you updated on the robbery.” Santino left the room leaving Matt alone with Donigan. “You found out everything about her. Right Matt? That’s why you are giving up the case so easily?” Donigan questioned. “Not everything, but enough to not want to catch her.” Matt explained, with tears in his eyes. He then stood, and left the room. “Donigan, be kind if you do find her. She’s just trying to make ends meet. Like we all are.” Matt said, before turning quickly on his heels and leaving. Matt wondered who Violet was every single day. He even searched for her website, to find it no longer existed. This made Matt extremely happy, but sad at the same time. He then wondered, where was she? What was she doing if it wasn’t working online? He tried looking for the golden chocolate eyed beauty everywhere he went. Every time he went to get his computer fixed, he hoped he would bump into her. Every time we went out to find a hook-up, he hoped it would be her. Every time he scrolled through Grindr, he hoped he would match with her. He never found her though. Over the next year, he set about re-constructing his own life. He now worked in a youth hostel. Helping young kids find their own way. He loved it. He always told each of the kids that he got to work with, that he started working in the hostel because of “one kid that got away that he couldn’t help”.  Every day, his boss would tell him. “You can’t save them all Matthew, you need to let go.” He couldn’t though. He didn’t know if he would ever let go of not thinking about Violet. He loved working with young people though. It wasn’t nearly as demanding as being a cop, and on weekends, he even had the chance to get back into art. He was now selling portraits online and he was happy. The only thing that still haunted him was not knowing what happened to Violet. _________________________________________________________ Violet, you and your fucked up riot It’s time to get on with it and go So the world will always know A year and a half had passed, and Matt was finally starting to get over Violet. He still thought about her, always keeping an eye out for her beauty. But, she didn’t consume him anymore. He had started to hook up with random guys again, and this made his friends happy. Jake stood next to him in the club, with one arm slung around him. It was Jake’s birthday, and he was fairly wasted. Matt however, was only 2 drinks in and still felt fairly sober. “It’s my birthday Matty… We have to get you to go home with someoneeee.” Jake whined, handing Matt a shot as he did so. “No, we have to get YOU to go home with someone. C’mon.” Matt grabbed Jake’s hand and dragged him over to the bar. “I’ll be your wingman – anyone tickle your fancy.” He asked, scanning the club. Jake’s eyes were glazed over slightly.  “I dunno, what about him?” Jake stated, pointing to a slim guy with dark hair. He was slightly tanned and dressed with heavy influence of 90s grunge. “He is cute, go talk to him.” Matt nudged. “I dunno, I think he may be option B because that cutie over there has totally got my attention.” Jake stated, nudging Matt in the shoulder and pointing over to a different guy. Matt froze. He felt the hairs stand up on the back of his head, as he stared at the guy from across the club. He wore his hair up in a bun, with a cute white t-shirt and floral printed shorts. He finished his outfit with a pair of adorable pink glasses. Matt’s mouth went dry as he stared. It was the man’s features however, that had him captivated. He had a long pointed nose that lead down to the most delicious looking lips. Matt couldn’t see the man’s eyes under his glasses, but he would bet they were golden brown. Jake nudged him out of his daydream and the words that left his mouth were sobering. “I think I’m going to go and buy him a drink.” Jake stated, as soon as he went to walk away, Matt grabbed his arm and pleaded Jake with his eyes. “Please don’t.” Matt begged, Jake’s brow creased in confusion. “Why not? He’s a cutie!” Jake pouted in protest. Matt had told Jake about Violet once, it was just after he had quit his job and he felt vulnerable after a night of shots. Jake had never brought it up since. “Because, he isn’t cute. He is beautiful, and I need to go and tell him.” Matt stated, before he moved over to the bar. He could hear Jake yelling his name behind him but he didn’t care. He needed to know if the man standing across the bar, whom he had not stopped thinking about for the past year and a half, was in fact Violet Chachki. “Umm I hate to be so forward, but, you are gorgeous and I wanted to ask if you would like a drink.” Matt was staring at his feet as he spoke, he was afraid to look up. “Sure, can I have a vodka and diet coke?” he replied, Matt knew that voice. He would recognise it from anywhere. He finally glanced up just as he was removing his glasses from his face. He tucked them into the collar of his shirt and Matt felt a heat burn in his pants.  “Thank you. Matt.” He smiled, and Matt could have sworn his heart exploded with happiness. As quickly as he could, he grabbed the man’s face and kissed him with more passion than he had ever kissed anyone before. They kissed for what felt like a lifetime, before Matt broke away and whispered; “I finally found you.” He kissed the man again, only this time, much more tenderly. “What on earth is your name?” Matt begged. “Jason. Jason Dardo.” The man replied, holding his hand out for Matt to shake. Matt took it and shook it carefully. He then brought Jason’s hand to his mouth, and kissed it tenderly. “Beautiful.” He said again. “Wanna’ get out of here?” He asked. “Fuck yes.” Jason replied. _________________________________________________________ You go go go You go go go Matt kicked the door closed to his apartment as he pushed Jason up against the wall. Jason was moaning into Matt’s mouth and it was driving him insane. Matt could feel Jason’s erection against his own crotch and it only spurred him on more. “Wait a sec, I wanna play you something.” Matt said, kissing down Jason’s neck. “What is it?” Jason asked, holding Matt’s hand as he dragged him over to his stereo. Jason laughed at Matt slightly and Matt frowned. “Why are you laughing?” Matt said, while he placed a CD into the stereo. “You still have CD’s. Fuck, you are old.” Jason laughed as he spoke and Matt found it adorable. “Don’t act like you aren’t digging it.” He stated, winking at Jason as he said it. He then stepped towards Jason as he started to kiss him again. “For the past year and a half, I would listen to this song. I feel like it summed you up so perfectly. And, whenever I would listen to this song, I would think about how good you would feel around me. Are you ready?” Matt whispered seductively into Jason’s ear as he spoke to him. Jason could feel his whole body starting to tingle. “Fuck yes I’m ready.” Jason stated, just as the opening guitar riff started to play in the song. Jason then pulled back and looked at Matt, smiling. “No fucking way!”  “What?” Matt asked, still kissing Jason’s neck. He was now pulling Jason’s top over his head. “I called myself Violet because of this song.” Jason stated, looking down. Matt then took Jason’s chin in his hand and forced him to look at him. “Then that explains why you are so perfect Pumpkin.” “Jason just stared, while Matt continued to trail kisses down his torso. He was gentle until Jason was begging for more. It was only then that Matt let him truly have it. He was putty in Matt’s hands and he loved it. Jason stripped the rest of his clothes off so that he was completely nude. He noticed Matt’s dick at this point, making a tent in his pants and wanted nothing more than to make him feel good. He pushed Matt over to the bed and climbed on top of him. His kisses were still slightly nervous as he was still learning how Matt liked to be kissed. Jason turned around so that his asshole was right near Matt’s face. Matt smirked as Jason took all of Matt’s length into his own hot mouth. Matt moaned at the contact, hissing as Jason moved his mouth up and down his shaft. Matt hadn’t been blown in a really long time, and he was afraid that he might blow his load too early. Jason didn’t care though, and he pumped Matt’s dick with his mouth, moving up and down, over and over. “Fuck.” He moaned, before he shot his load inside Jason’s mouth. Jason swallowed every gulp, before pushing himself up slightly so that Matt could start to open him up. “I’m assume you are the bottom in this situation?” Matt asked. Jason laughed slightly before replying. “Do I look like I have ever topped anything in my life?” He laughed at Jason’s honesty in such a vulnerable moment. Matt couldn’t help but feel like they had done this before. Maybe, he had dreamt about this so much it was although they had made love a million times. Matt continued to open Jason up, inserting one finger to begin with, and then more. Jason moaned in pleasure at the feeling. He could feel his dick hardening as Matt continued to fuck him with his fingers, so he just moaned in pleasure as a response. He felt Matt move behind him on the bed, and could feel the familiar feeling of cold lube around his asshole. He turned to look at Matt as he placed a rubber over his length. Jason thought Matt looked perfect. His eyes were mesmerising and he was definitely the most handsome man he had ever seen. Jason felt like he had hit the jackpot. Soon, Matt was pressing his dick into Jason’s asshole and he swore he saw stars. Matt started to pound into him. Hard and fast, just the way he liked it. Matt rammed into Jason as hard as he could. He soon found his prostate, and kept tapping at it over and over, which was making Jason make the most animalistic noises. Jason came fairly quickly, shooting his load all over the bed sheet below. Matt took a little longer, and he flipped Jason around so that he was facing him. He kissed Jason tenderly as he entered Jason over and over. Jason reached underneath Matt and inserted a finger into Matt’s hole. This was what Matt needed and he soon reached his own orgasm. Moaning Jason’s name over and over again. “I am so glad we found each other.” Matt whispered, while he trailed circles around Jason’s nipple ring. “Same.” Jason agreed, kissing Matt tenderly. “I don’t feel like a fucked up riot, now that I have found you.” He whispered, taking Matt’s hand in his own. “We can be fucked up together? We have so much to talk about. But, we have the rest of our lives to figure all that shit out.” Matt said, stroking Jason’s cheek as he looked into his eyes. They kissed, and made love for the second time that night. And they were both right. They had from now until forever to figure it out. You go go go You go go go Song: Hippo Campus – Violet.

#pearlet #pearl liaison #violet chachki #leatwerpenn #smut #blooming violets #rpdr fanfiction #submission #m/m au

[lesbianyennefer]

ok ive finished andromeda and so im gunna collate my final gathered thoughts below:

All in all its been a good game but for the first time in my life in not just a mass effect but a bioware game i dont LOVE it i cant even say i think its very good - ive even been edging on outright disinterest and boredom at various points throughout. bioware games for all their faults have always made me get fully into their stories get completely immersed in the world and in mass effects case in their characters too. but andromeda is the first time ever that i find myself saying if someone asked me how good it was i would say meh. if someone asked me how the latest installment in my favourite thing to exist on this planet was i would say meh. as someone who for whom the original trilogy is genuinely my favourite thing in existence there arent words for how much it upsets me. im not even like ‘i wanna play again!!!’ like i usually am because im usually still so immersed in the world. here are some thoughts and delving deeper into the things that stood out to me:

- the writing: its poor. there have been a few funny moments and lines and most of the main quest dialogue lines are good but compared to what we are used to from mass efefct it PALES. only one moment of real enjoyment stands out to me in the entire game and that was the movie night one - of the only moments in the game I got happy about like the original trilogy. the writing for dialogue not just with npcs but with companions is often clunky, nonsensical, boring and adds nothing to furthering knowledge/relationships. i honestly couldnt tell you a lot about many of them because the conversations didnt pertain to actually getting to know them. it says in the codex that they all consider me close friends but its never been mentioned that they even considered me one nor can i recall when the friendship actually got going or how we reached the ‘close’ part. similarily a lot of criticism from critics was about the base elements being rehashed from the original and its true. so much has just been copy pasted from the ot in a way that actually makes this version less interesting. the big ‘reveals’ in the story are also so badly done that when jaal mentioned the angara were made by the jaardun is it? i didnt have a wow moment like mass effect has given me in the past i was so confused by everything going on i was just like what? nobody seemed to make a big deal out if either considering an entire race just found out they were genetically engineered. the only real ‘wow’ moment i had in the game was finding out ellen ryder was still alive and jien garson was murdered and even then you cant tell anyone and its pretty much forgotten!! ryder knows that jien was murdered by possibly this benefactor who seems to have ulterior motives for all of them and she also knows the reapers invaded and as far as shes aware eradicated the entire milky way. maybe thats something that should be shared with leadership hmm? (as much as i hate tann)  

- the plot: touching on the last the plot was, to me, nothing to write home about. ive always enjoyed that mass effect has a linear storyline that you get stuck into and follow through at a good pace. now i know they said andromeda was going to be more exploration based game - which i would normally like! - but not when the exploration has almost nothing to do with the main story and is so fucking much that you could play for 3 days 12 hours a day and not get to the next bit of the main storyline!! when you space it out too much the audience - or i - loses all connection with the sporadic main plot and what we are actually supposed to be doing so much so that by the time you go to play the next segment you dont even really know why youre there or whats going on. similarly the plot never made me go :O which the ot did a lot. an example ive mentioned before is that seeing the citadel always makes me go ahhh!!! the nexus by comparison is pretty boring. despite its flaws i love the storyline surrounding the reapers and it always gets me each time i play. sitting her writing this if you asked me to detail the main plot of andromeda i honestly couldnt. i cant remember what i did or in which order. theres no substance or linearity.  

- the exploration: i again cant believe im saying this but swtor a mmo game from 2011 has more interesting open worlds with more MANAGEABLE and relevant side quests than andromeda. they might be beautiful but none of the worlds stood out to me - though i loved elaaden and the downed remenant ship star wars reference. i dont mind doing a few bland side quests but when there in the 50s and they lead you on goose chases across entire planets i begin to get agitated. i cant recall the amount of times i had to go back to planets like kadara for one 5 minute firefight and a couple of lines of dialogue. going through the galaxy map animations, the landing animations, the lift down to the slums then crossing the threshold to actually reach the map to THEN find your destination? yeah im pretty done by then.    

- side quests: tying into the above side quests! bioware hinted theyd learned a lesson from dai and taken inspiration from the witcher 3 for their approach to side quests and they appear to have done neither. there are MORE side quests than there were in dai and i actually didnt mind dais but andromedas have become an issue for me - probably because there were so godamn many. they dont have any baring on the story and they are bland and uninteresting mostly fetch quests. i hate bringing the witcher into this because i dont like giving praise to cd projekt red but the truth is bioware could stand to ACTUALLY learn from the witcher 3. the side quests in that are small in number, long in plot and actually connected to the main story. they dont make you feel like youre straying from the plot, their content is deep and very good and they quite often have major consequences. see triss’ quests in novigrad.  one thing i will say is they did seem to take a little of the last into andromeda. some choices have consequences ie saving the salarians over the krogan. that was pretty cool but still underdeveloped. 

- the relationships: by the end of the story i  can say I love all my squadmates despite the fact that i feel like i barely got the chance to know them (the only one il say i dont know at all well enough to love em is gil who has no content aside from the incredibly uncomfortable jill storyline and i wonder why hes the negelected one hmm?). i loved how they moved around and talked to each other but the amount of times i went round to see them and they had nothing to say was a LOT compared to the fact that in me3 everytime you went to see someone they had something (or multiple somethings) to say often without having to enter into a cutscene style animation just to see if they actually want to talk. in terms of romantic relationships ( i romanced peebee) i was disappointed by how little your romanced companion interjects on the story. at least in peebees case there was very little content and she seemed hardly bothered when my ryder got injected then killed herself and then died AGAIN to save them aside from a little snarky “hands off” comment when the archon grabbed her face. she mentioned a little bit back on the ship but compared to me3 and how liara/garrus/ash/kaidan would interject a lot on mission and have hints to their romance sprinkled throughout it felt like another forgotten thing. not one person on the ship mentioned me and peebee aside from a quick thing from sam when i went to see him in my cabin. also jazzed up sex scenes dont mean anything if the rest of the relationship is bland and overlooked. i prefer liara and sheps me3 scene 10x over peebees (my little gay heart still cries). 

- the music: WHERE WAS THE MUSIC??!?! one of my favourite things about games FULLSTOP and the cherry on top of mass effect has always been the music. to this day i love the atmosphere that noveria creates and vigil makes me fucking cry. the suicide mission gets me pumped and leaving earth leaves a gaping hole in my chest. (diverting a bit even dai had fantastic music. in hushed whispers, the lost temple and thedas love theme are among my faves.) aside from the heleus galaxy map music and the ambient from that one destroyed planet i cant recall a single piece of music that stood out. i can remember about 3 tunes overall the map, the main menu and the one that plays a lot when you fight kett. there wasnt even any proper ambient music for the worlds!!!!! there arent words for how upset i am that theres no fucking mission themed bangers. im just really sad about this.       

i think at the end of the day a big reason for me why i havent loved it is because as ive said before it doesnt feel like mass effect to me. to a pretty great extent i think the reason for this is the decision to move to the Andromeda galaxy. the absence of shep and the crew and the normandy is another huge factor but rather unavoidable in terms of continuing the games, but moving to andromeda has robbed the series of everything that made it mass effect. the mass relays, the citadel, the council, the alliance, earth, thessia, palaven they all made mass effect mass effect. Not to mention the quarians (one of my fave races ever), the drell, the volus, hanar, batarians, vorcha they were all a part of what mass effect IS. even the architectural style of the colonies, the nexus its all different and it doesnt have any connection to the ot and the world it created. andromeda feels like its own game completely unrelated to mass effect and one that when considered on its own has an incredibly shaky foundation and sporadic storytelling. at the end of the day it was fun to pass the time but as a huge mass effect fan i feel it was incredibly disappointing and to be quite honest i dont consider it a part of the mass effect i love.   

#i guess this is kinda like a review lmao #but yeah ofc heavy me:a spoilers #becky speaks

[patheticphallacy]

Another month, another wrap up.

My second year of University is finished, basically. I’ve submitted my dissertation proposal, am in the middle of all my essays due end of April/early May, and have a new flat for third year.

How time flies!

And I’m 20 in two months! Yay! Exciting stuff!

READING WRAP UP

After the Rain by Jun Mayuzuki [3.75 stars; I have a review for this one, it has it’s issues but I’m hoping it’ll improve as the series goes on]

The House at Pooh Corner by A.A. Milne [4 stars; A.A. Milne came in to my house and purposefully ripped my heart out of my chest from beyond the grave]

RWBY Volume 1: Red Like Roses by Various [3 stars; this has some ISSUES I’ve had with other RT productions, I still love it despite myself tho ]

The Isle of Pines by Henry Neville [1 star; A lot of uhhhh incest in this one]

I Hear the Sunspot by Yuki Fumino [3 stars; this one was quite disappointing, in all honesty, although it is still a cute read!]

Measure for Measure by William Shakespeare [3 stars; this is my first Shakespeare of the year as I work my towards reading all his plays by 25! I was confused at moments, but the reveals were so satisfying, although the ending….]

Sweet Blue Flowers by Takako Shimura [4.5 stars; this is the lesbian manga I’ve been waiting for all my life, everyone! I wasn’t living until I read this]

My Immortal by Tara [1 star; thank you to my friend Zara for finally getting me to read all of this finally!]

The Man in the Moone by Francis Godwin [1 star; this was boring as HECK]

Belinda Blinked 1 by Rocky Flintstone [1 star; FINALLY finished the first part of the My Dad Wrote a Porno podcast, so I’m marking this one as read]

Labyrinth Coronation #9, #10, #11 by Simon Spurrier [4 stars- nearly at the end now! I’ll miss this series, honestly, it’s been consistently great and it’s been so entertaining]

Sparrowhawk #3 and #4 by Delilah S Dawson [3 stars; not a spectacular series, but only one issue left, so I may as well finish it when #5 comes out!]

The Unsound by Cullen Bunn [4.5 stars; this is very disturbing and graphic in terms of self harm and gore, but I loved it? Apparently my brand is loving all the bizarre and gorey comic series people HATE]

Saban’s Go Go Power Rangers #15-17 by Ryan Parrott [3 stars; would consider giving these issues 4 stars purely for Skull and Kimberly, and also Bulk for how cute he was protecting Skull’s heart from being broken]

The Wall of Winnipeg and Me by Mariana Zapata [3.5 stars; a difficult one to rate, as I loved the first half, but once these characters realise they like each other/the one Mariana Zapata Sex Scene happens that is part of her brand, I just get tired and feel like she should have ended it 50 pages before]

On the Death of Peter Stubbe by Scott Wolf [1.5 stars; read this bad boy for Uni and it was actually bizarre]

The Last of August by Brittany Cavallaro [3 stars; I was… very disappointed with this one. The ending was very rushed and confusing, I had to go back and re-read to understand what had happened, but I still love the characters and look forward to reading book 3 in April]

A Midsummer Night’s Dream by William Shakespeare [3.5 stars; this was a laugh and would have been rated higher, if not for that whole final scene that just felt like Shakespeare was STRETCHING]

Book Scavenger by Jennifer Chambliss Bertman [4 stars; this is SUCH a good first book in a middle grade series that follows a girl who goes on a scavenger hunt after the creator of the hunt is hospitalised! It sounds darker than it is, I swear]

Kulti by Mariana Zapata [3.5 stars; THIS COULD HAVE BEEN A WHOLE ASS 5 STARS  FOR PLOT if Mariana didn’t insist on ending it the way she did, and also didn’t use lesbophobic slurs and weird possessive undertones between the MC and the LI as well as so much girl and slut shaming like… Winnipeg definitely wasn’t this bad]

The Woods Volume 4 by James Tynion IV (4 stars; this series is finally starting to improve for me and I’m so happy!)

Neverworld Wake by Marisha Pessl (5 stars; I loved this book so so much I’m so glad I finally finished it after 2 months of having it on hold)

The Hating Game by Sally Thorne (3 stars; I didn’t really enjoy this much as expected, it definitely has issues that I’m surprised aren’t discussed more like how violent their relationship is before sex ? The MC genuinely thinks she’s going to get murdered by the LI at first)

The Walking Dead Volume 1 by Robert Kirkman (3.5 stars; after putting this down before I’m so happy I ended up enjoying it!)

Wait For It by Mariana Zapata (3 stars; in terms of more problematic material, this is definitely Zapata’s best. I do still think she has pacing issues though, and her sex scenes are so badly written I cringe every time I read one)

Sunstone Volume 1 by Stjepan Šejić (4 stars; another really great read; the art is beautiful, characters are so fleshed out already, and I can’t wait to see where their relationship goes!)

AND MY APRIL TBR JAR PICK ISSSSSS……………………………………….

IT ONLY HAPPENS IN THE MOVIES by Holly Bourne! One of the picks Annie made for me in my ‘Best Friend picks my TBR’ post!

ESSAYS/ARTICLES I READ THIS MONTH

Chubby Rat Gets Stuck in a Manhole: this is the only piece of literature that has ever mattered to me

Authors voice alarm after sharp drop in sales of YA fiction: a very solemn and worrying piece, but I’m hoping the conversation this brought up will continue and this is something UKYA publishers and readers alike can work on to improve the sales and keep YA sales in the UK alive!

When words fail: A possible interpretation of Isabella’s silence in Measure for Measure: This is a response to Isabella’s silence at the end of Measure for Measure, which I read this month. I think it has a tragic ending for Isabella, honestly, and this is a really great interpretation of that scene

The Gay Love Stories of Moomin and the Queer Radicality of Tove Jansson: I can’t be the only person to have noticed the sudden influx of Moomin hype on Twitter, and I am digging it. Reading this is fascinating, and I think it’s incredible how much of Jansson’s life and experience as a queer woman can be seen in Moomin!

Openly gay pro strongman Rob Kearney marries his boyfriend: I will love and support gay athletes till the day I die. This article is so cute.

The Night Country: Melissa Albert previews her next Hazel Wood novel: The Hazel Wood was one of my favourite novels of 2018, so the sequel coming out so quickly is an absolute treat. This has the cover release- American, unfortunately, so I still have no clue what the UK cover will bring- but it does have the first chapter! I love and adore Sophia Snow and I cannot wait to have a new book girlfriend!

TV SHOWS/MOVIES/VIDEOS I WATCHED

Ryan Hollinger’s video on the horror of Coraline. Coraline is one of my favourite animated films, I’ve watched it so many times, and I love seeing people’s analysis of it!

I went on a bit of a Ryan Hollinger kick this month and also watched his Texas Chainsaw Massacre video where he analyses the presence of daylight in the film, unconventional in the horror genre

Karate Chopsticks plays a lot of Professor Layton games, so when I have some downtime where I just want to relax I’ve been watching him!

I watched a video on How Guillermo del Toro deals with trauma in his films that I found fascinating! It specifically talks about The Devil’s Backbone and Pan’s Labyrinth 

With my friend Zara, I started the K-Drama BOYS OVER FLOWERS, which I’m honestly loving. It has some issues, but it’s basically a staple k-drama and I’m loving watching it and talking about it with her

MUSIC I’VE BEEN ENJOYING

Sucker by Jonas Brothers [I never really cared about these guys coming back but I’m glad they did, this is a really neat song]

SOS by Jonas Brothers

Big Time Rush by Big Time Rush [a TUNE]

Just in general I’ve really been enjoying The Band CAMINO, my favourite song by them is definitely Daphne Blue!

REVIEWS I POSTED

In Other Lands

Heartstopper

Starry Eyes

Four Film Reviews: The Village, Holes, Stardust, 13 Going on 30

Netflix Thriller Reviews

Three Manga Reviews: After the Rain Vol 1, RWBY Vol 1, Sweet Blue Flowers

OTHER POSTS I MADE

Music Monday: Music I’ve Listened to Lately

Graphic Recommendations #1: Contemporary 

Top Ten Tuesday: Standalones that Need a Sequel

Top Ten Tuesday: My Best Friend Picks My Spring TBR!

Top Ten Tuesday: Books that Should be Podcasts

Currently Reading #1

My Study Positive April Announcement!

March Wrap Up & April TBR Jar Pick Another month, another wrap up. My second year of University is finished, basically. I've submitted my dissertation proposal, am in the middle of all my essays due end of April/early May, and have a new flat for third year.

#articles #book reviews #books #essays #manga #march wrap up #movies #music #reading wrap up #tbr jar #top ten tuesday #tv