Im...happy?? Even temporarily???
Woke up and laid in bed longer than I should have, but less than I usually do, and while filled with dread, it's LESS dread than usual
Walked to mass at new church, completely bland generic sermon & bland generic music, which is perfect, nobody knows me or is trying to rope me into things or expects things from me, I don't have to pretend I don't absolutely loathe so much of catholic parish culture, I can just, go in, go out, be a nameless face in the pew which is Safe and Uncontroversial. There was even the coolest looking older butch in the pew with me. Docs and leather jacket and all.
Stopped and read on a cafe patio with a coffee and pastry. The sun was out. Nobody was constantly texting me asking where I was. It was me and my iced coffee and silly vampire book.
Checked out the main shopping area, saw all the local grocers and bakeries and small local businesses. I'm not in a suburban box store desert anymore. I may pay slightly more at small businesses but if I want the luxury of this kind of area that's a cost I'm willing (and newly able) to pay. Plus living here means I don't have to own a car and am saving so much on that front that it still works out in my favour financially
Stopped by a little florist, tiny hole on the wall, met the nicest man and his nephew and got tons of plant advice based on my apartment layout and some recommendations for what should be unkillable given my brown thumb. Will absolutely be going back for more plants once I'm fully set up + some for my office
Like. This was unthinkable a year ago. I desperately need to keep my job. So I can keep this. I forgot how good it was to live in an area like this, not endless detached housing sprawl. I can walk everywhere. I lived in an arealike this in uni but my budget was nonexistent (grad school funding woooo). Now that I have a (very small admittedly) degree of financial flexibility??? Im allowed to sit on a patio with a 5$ coffee once a week??? I can pop into little florists and grocers and bakeries if I want?? Nobody is going to judge me for "wasting" money by not buying the absolutely dogshit quality cheapest thing possible??? Or not reporting on my location at all times? I owe no accounting of my every trip out the house?
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I finally got all the Garfield books cleaned and fixed up! I'm only missing 72 and 73.
My parents got me the books for my birthday (save for the small collection to the left of Signs & Symbols), I think my mom got the box of them for like 20 bucks? She ran into a lady one day at a thrift store when she was looking at the Garfield books they had, and they got to talking. After hearing my mom was looking at the comics for her daughter the lady told my mom "oh hey I have all the books if you want them" and the rest is history.
They're in very good condition, especially the age for the old ones but I did have to glue some pages back in while some just needed to be wiped off. I look forward to reading them all! I've loved Garfield since I was little; I even had a Garfield themed cake for my 3rd birthday, and only ever tried lasagna because Garfield loved it (and I do too).
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Kinda pissed at myself because it really did just hit me that I didn’t spend my own birthday money on myself today. Like I got about 90 bucks collectively for my birthday and I spent it on a dog bed, dog food, cat treats and toys that my cat fucking hates apparently(😭), hamburger meat that I don’t even eat, pizza, Mother’s Day gifts, and my mom’s medicine. I bought like two things for myself, a soda and a pack of Mickey and friends figures all because it had Pluto in it. Fucking Christ even for my birthday I feel like I have to serve others to be on their good side….
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the only thing on my mind is jake reveals rn so your journal post is.. sparking thoughts. marc putting his foot down and telling steven they need to at least organise half of the apartment and them stumbling onto the journal, jake fronting in a panic to stop them seeing it but it not working fully because both marc and steven are comfortable with holding front and they aren't panicked so :} yeah. heh
Because Steven would insist on organizing the books first, wouldn't he?
Yeah, maybe to Marc, the place is a bit of a wreck, but to Steven, the clutter has always been home. His home. Before Marc, it was all he had, all that stuff everywhere, so he didn't mind having to step over things, dodge a few stacks of papers, do the whole zig zag bit towards the kitchen. Those were the things he could look at and truly say those are mine. Whatever it was that made Marc shout out whenever he stubbed his toe in the morning, well, he'd just have to live with it.
Marc. Did you bring back all your things from the locker?
Yeah, Steven, but that's obviously not the pro-
What's that, then?
It was a dark, mahogany leather, just worn enough to blend into the rest of the shelf. There were slightly yellowed pages crinkled at the edges, with a dark red thread hanging out of the bottom of the binding well over halfway through. Steven had never seen it before, and he senses Marc's confusion when he asks. There's something about it that's vaguely familiar, but the minute he reaches out for it-
Sh-
-even?
In what feels like a blink, Steven's on the ground a few feet away from where he'd been standing, seated on the hardwood floor. He.. had been standing before, right? Looking around the room for something reflective, he sees Marc with his arms crossed, eyebrow raised from the half open window. A gentle breeze blew in, ruffling the curls that fell over his forehead.
That supposed to get you out of this?
Marc.. how'd we get down here?
C'mon, bud. Not saving you just 'cause you fell when you were throwing it.
It took a minute for the thoughts to connect, and as they did, Steven pulled himself up to his feet, making his way towards the open window. Carefully, making sure not to knock his skull into the frame, he stuck his head out, looking down. The book was on the sidewalk below, laying on the pavement.
But that wasn't-
Don't wanna hear it Steven, work to do, let's go. Gotta make this frickin' mess livable somehow.
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