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utilitycaster · 6 months

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the imogen and ashton of c3e78 is soooo juicy like everything you said about imogen looking into ashton’s thoughts is so real but also in the group she is the only one who can do that. she’s the only one who can see directly what they feel and think and the fact that it mollifies her rage but almost seems to heighten her frustration? ashton and imogen have my fav dynamic in c3 bc of their understanding of pain and how they reflect each other’s selfishness (if that makes sense) and im so excited to see how (if?) this moment becomes anything More

Hey anon, I'm glad you liked their conversation and presumably my analysis, but I have to admit there's a lot in here either I don't follow, or which I can't say I agree with:

FCG can also look into Ashton's mind and chooses not to (slash, might not have the spell slots left for it due to the healing), instead talking through it - and in doing so they jump to some incorrect conclusions, but also I think have a very important conversation and eventually do come to a deeper understanding, and I still think it would be good for Imogen to talk instead of jump to Detect Thoughts.

With that said, I think she is justified given how extreme the situation was, and it's not terribly surprising that looking into Ashton's mind affects Imogen this way! As others have discussed, Imogen tends to judge people based on thoughts rather than actions (eg: reading people's thoughts alone and judging their overall morality from that moment rather than how they behave). I think part of what made this incident different is because she actually processed the combination of intent and action, rather than only intent. I think the fact that it wasn't pure self-aggrandizement and that their thought patterns of trying to connect with absent parents did both mollify her but also frustrate her, because she felt the same thing and she brought it to the party, who told her in no uncertain terms that the Vanguard sucked. She can intimately understand how they feel and also be furious at what they did as a result.

It was a great conversation between them, and I really enjoy whenever Imogen and Ashton interact, and longer RP moments between members of Bells Hells can sometimes be hard to find, but I have to be honest: I've found the fandom's perception of Imogen and Ashton's friendship and the basis of their shared experiences of pain to be vastly overblown. Notably, I found it was often really overstated before episode 70, when they had their great conversation after their time at All-Minds-Burn, because that was their first real talk that wasn't a group chat or Imogen (consensually) probing his memories, so while it's less baseless now, until a few months ago a lot of people acted like they had talked when they really hadn't. (This is true for several Bells Hells friendships tbh).

I also think that the physical drawbacks of Imogen's abilities are similarly vastly overblown; "Migraine Buddies" or what have you is almost pure fanon. Imogen has had like three canon headaches, and one of them was pretty directly tied to the events of the solstice. People just really latched onto her initial characterization and stopped paying attention. That doesn't mean it's not a consideration for her, or at least that it was before she got the circlet! But because she so rarely used the ability that triggered them I understand her best as someone who used to have a chronic condition who had it well-controlled, though with some effort, prior to the campaign, and now has since had a radical new treatment that effectively removes the need for effort. It's still obviously a factor for her; but Imogen's abilities always felt rather more like severe sensory processing issues, or a migraine disorder but one where she could relatively easily avoid triggers vs. Ashton's chronic pain.

I think some of why this fanon arose is because people wanted to project onto Imogen based on those one or two early mentions of headaches, before Ashton's disability was confirmed, and it never really got addressed and so they assumed similarities and kinship between Imogen and Ashton on a basis that was heavily projected. I agree that they have a lot in common - a cynical worldview and low expectations of others; a combination of lack of self-regard that wraps around into self-absorption (the ugly truth of self-loathing is that it is also self-centered and can still hurt others even while also hurting one's self); the above parallels between their parents. I agree that I'd love to see them interact more (thought I'm not sure if by "More" you mean an actual friendship or what) - I think the post-solstice onset arc has really allowed Laura to do what she does best for Imogen now that she's not constantly in the spotlight, and the remaining gap is that her interpersonal relationships with many party members are somewhat lacking - but it's hard to call it my favorite dynamic when it's only just being developed. And for what it's worth, going back to the first point, I think a lot of similar parallels can be found between Ashton and FCG, who do have a more developed dynamic.

#answered #Anonymous #cr tag #imogen temult #ashton greymoore

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relaxxattack · 7 months

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hwy so i saw ur poll ab arasol and f they were matesprits or not and ive been into homestuck for about 7 years and its a special interest and im autistic and thwy are my first and tbh only otp anf so if this is ok i wld like to infodump my opinion/hcs ab them bc i just 🥰 i love them sm 🥰 (def not frothing at the mouth at the idea of an audience for my opinions bc everyone irl is sikc of me lmao /lh)

ok so i deffo think they ar e matesprits BUT i think they never liie. clearly confirmwd it while aradia was alive. and once she became ghost aradia i think she got so distant and aloof (i think thats the right word?) about everytuing that it made sollux feel like she disnt love him anymore, and he eventually just had to move on, even thouvh it hurt. and feferi was there, not necessarily as a "rebound" but as a shoulder to cry on. someone for sollux to confide in, and to listen to him because he didnt have anyonw else he felt like woild. and i feel like feferi was def nto him and wanted to be his matesprit but i think sollux wasnt really. and i think they developed a kind of mixed/blurred lines relationship and the whole ghost and aradiabot phases pushed him and aradia furhter apart because aradia was dealinf wth so so much and in turn sollux was dealinf with the loss of his presumed (unofficial, wtv) matesprit, because that wasnt the aradia he knew and had fallen in love with. the ghost thing wasnt a bother - he loved her, not her physical form - it was the personality shift, i think.

and so when she reached god tier and regained her body nd her sense of identity, ithink they started to rekindle what they had nefore, if that makes sense? like aradia was his aradia again, an aradia interested in life and adventuee and archaeology and not this stupid, stupid game and suddenly not everything felt like it was collapsing around him and he felt like things could be okay again. and she helped him and he helped her and together they did make thinfs okay again. with each other.

and i think aradia's living>ghost>aradiabot>godtier timeline is a good allegory for depression and how it can absolutely shatter your sense of self and strip your world of colour and how that can make you push people away and self isolate and whatnot. idk thats just how i see it but :3 yea

i havet checkwd out the epilogues or homestuck^2 btw so this is based solely off of andrew hussie's homestuck bc i love it sososo much anyways yea !!!! tysm if anybody took the time to read this i love u all!! and ty for letting me drop this in ur askbox lolz and yea :3 srry if this isnt v comprehensive i just got off an 8hr closing shift at work lmao <3

this is a REALLY good analysis and i really love it, thank you for sharing! this makes complete sense to me.

aradia's depression being the catalyst for their split is very true! especially since she then sort of broke his trust with the whole sgrub thing-- and before that interacting with her was hard because sollux felt so guilty about what he did to her. it's just sad on all accounts, and i'm glad they both got better

honestly my poll was more to ask the question; "so we all agree that aradia and sollux were matesprits right because they do NOT act like moirails lol but it's funny because if they're matesprits that makes the feferi business weirder", but i don't think it came across in the post correctly, pfft

yes i definitely agree that they were matesprits, and also the idea that feferi was more into sollux than he was her is a really interesting one-- i also wonder if maybe feferi was maybe less into sollux than she thought, herself-- it's possible she threw herself into that relationship because she was just so relieved to be finally cut off from eridan and "allowed" to have relationships like that. but that's just my thought!

at the end of the day they're all just kids trying stuff out and it's kind of adorable and not that serious. i'm an arasoler at heart but there's nothing wrong with solfef either

#feral-cockroach #hsmeta #op

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golbrocklovely · 3 months

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Ignoring the rest of the fandom, are you gonna do an analysis of the parts of the video you found interesting? Because that would be super interesting to read/hear as usually you give very good analysis of things and I'd be super interested to hear what parts interested you the most.

these might be a bit out of place compared to the podcast, but here are some parts that stuck out to me.

also omg this became so long so... grab a snack or something lol

i think it was really telling, and also interesting, to hear about sam's dad and how involved he was with snc and their careers early on. first off, his dad retiring at 47 is crazy, so clearly he was business savvy man and i'm glad to hear how much he helped the boys in the beginning and made sure to really help navigate them. the telling part to all of this is the fact that one of my assumption for the longest time was that colby's family (not his mom, but everyone else - especially his dad) were not as supportive. and this was kinda proof of it. i think they both have relatively conservative families, but colby's is clearly more conservative than sam's. bc if you saw your son being passionate about something and instead of being supportive, you kinda shoot him down - even tho he is finding success and making money from it - you come across like a bad parent in my eyes. it's one thing to be concerned, of course. but it's another thing to be discouraging.

i always had a feeling his family wasn't supportive, given the fact he never even mentions his family besides his mom and occasionally his brother, but this really nailed it on the head for me. it really brings me back to when snc hit some high number of subs, like 6 mil or more, and colby's dad texted him something like "6 mil. that's cool." or something extremely vague like that. and i'm like…… you wanna try to sound a little enthused there, pops??? lol

them, in general, talking about the bts-business stuff was honestly really intriguing to me. bc i've always wondered what happens on the back end of their content, since they never really talk about it. hearing them have adsense taken away from them bc they signed to a shady mcm is so surprising bc they have never mentioned that before. and it honestly makes me wonder if that was why they started their separate channels. i think they had mentioned years ago that they made their personal channels bc they wanted to make content that was outside the snc brand or that just wouldn't have fit on there, so i wonder if part of that was due to not having as much adsense for so long and just needing another avenue to gain money.

i think something else that i thought was cool to hear about was the beginning stages of their confidence journey back when they were in hs. it's an interesting conversation to be had that they (and probably many other guys) grew their social confidence thru disturbing the peace or getting girls' numbers and things of that nature but then comparing that to how girls gain confidence. bc i was the same way as them growing - i was shy, introverted, and socially awkward. and i just feel like all of those things that they claimed to do: the pranks, the "go game", things of that nature, that wouldn't have led me to being more confident. that would have just made me feel foolish, or even less social. but that's also, i think, just my general demeanor anyway. i wish they would have went a little more in depth when asked "why were you so introverted" or however the interviewer put it. bc that would have been a really interesting conversation. too bad they didn't stay on that too long.

like @xplrvibes mentioned, the anxiety conversation really just showed the difference between sam who has situational/occasional anxiety vs colby who (most likely, but i'm no doctor) has an anxiety disorder. to say your most confident was at 15 and you have to continue to stretch your social muscles…. that's not how """"normal"""" ppl work. but i get colby truly. it makes sense why he is a bit of a recluse sometimes or likes his alone time. i think this also weirdly shows that colby, while introverted/a loner naturally, can make friends easily vs sam, who likes to be around others, interestingly can't make friends all too well. or at least comes across awkwardly (by his own admission).

i liked their in depth talk about the killing best friend prank bc they haven't talked about it in years. i vividly remember when that happened and i was so shocked by the idea of it that i didn't watch it and it was before i was even a fan of them. still to this day haven't seen the whole thing. but it was nice to hear sam admit that he was in on it, even tho i know in years past he said the same thing. but so many ppl still believe he wasn't… idk. i personally think he was. plus he literally admitted he taught himself to cry (which… sounds very sociopathic, but i digress lol).

i saw a couple ppl freak out on them for saying that "if we did the following fat ppl vine now, it probably wouldn't be as much of an issue" which… is literally not what they said, but is what ppl claim they were saying. but i get what snc actually meant, which is that if they were starting out again, today, at the age they were all the way back in the day - no one would care about them the same way they have in the past. the pr stunts that they have done over the years that surprisingly worked would most likely not now. i think in a way they would get lost in the shuffle of other content creators. but part of that also is bc of what trends now vs what used to be new and exciting back then. but it is worth noting how many times things have worked out for snc in the end. xplr gods might actually be on their side after all lol

even tho i know snc have kinda done it et nauseum at this point, i do find the topic of the conjuring house interesting. especially since they made this whole spectacle about it bts to friends and really wanted other ppl's opinions on it and what they captured. and i think that, regardless of how you feel about snc or cody and satori, shows that snc really do believe what happened there and were extremely moved by it. that was obvious on camera as well, but i think it's sweet in a way how excited they were and still are about what they experienced there, whether it was technically real or not. i wish there was a way they could talk about it without debunkers losing their minds.

okay so there is a part where snc are talking about the devil's rocking chair, and colby let's slip that he felt like there was a voice telling him to stay in the chair longer…….. and i just need everyone to know that i hate when colby doesn't say that shit while it's happen and instead holds onto it for years and then casually says "oh yeah btw". like???? his empathic nature towards spirits and whatnot is so fascinating to me and i direly need to to explore that more, especially when snc have made it known that they want to work with less equipment/be more open.

the one thing i will fault these two guys interviewing snc for is when they got onto the topic of colby's cancer, colby alluded to there being some underlying trauma when it came to his cancer. that going thru chemo was fine during, but has caused trauma down the line. and like, i would love to know what he means by that. bc a lot of the time, when he talks about this, he alludes to there being something right under the surface, but no one ever presses him on it. of course, i get why some wouldn't do that, but i am genuinely curious. especially since colby always leads with "guys, it surprisingly wasn't that bad. and i'm doing a-okay now" which… hey that's great, but feels not quite right. i pray that colby took time to just, idk, cry or freak out or get angry - SOME FORM of emotion that wasn't just calm, cool, collected. it's great he was optimistic and kept his head up the whole time. that's fantastic. but i worry he's not allowing himself to feel everything fully. and you know, maybe a podcast isn't the place to do that on, sure; but i hope he's done it on his own time.

i think the final thing i want to say that i found interesting is the discussion they had about productivity. imma be honest, i'm very concerned in the long run as to how things are gonna work out for them. bc you have colby who clearly wants a break and needs one at some point, and then you have sam who feels like shit if he's NOT working. that at one point he felt like it was his purpose to work and without working, he didn't have one. and i get they have found a "balance" or so they say on that, but i just feel like in the long run if sam doesn't calm the fuck down on working constantly, he's gonna burn the both of them out. also everything he was talking about when it came to productivity and having that tied to how he feels about himself and whatnot… he sounded like he was about to have a break down or something. he sounded neurotic, and honestly i'm concerned for sam. also measuring every action you do in whether it's productive or not or HOW it's product and to what… dear god, just go to therapy. holy shit.

okay. i think that was everything. sorry this was super long, but hopefully that makes up for me taking like two days to respond lol

#ask #personal #sam and colby #sam golbach #colby brock

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prettyboykatsuki · 1 year

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You. I don't know what you eat or what your hand and mind is made of but let me tell you your "How to be a dog" gojo fic literally had me in tears of joy. I found it randomly one day and my dumbass forgot to like the fic and I almost cried cuz I couldn't find it ANYWHERE no matter how much I searched. I'm not exaggerating this when I say it's a fucking masterpiece. I want it tattooed in my mind, I want to print it out and glued it on all over my walls. Please don't ever delete the story and never, ever stop writing. I am in awed at how much talent a person can have. The way you wrote gojo is so intoxicating and phenomenal like holy shit you need to write for him more. How did you do it? Literally how? God you're so good at writing I am at a loss for words. If you don't mind, I have a few requests and questions, first, what is your writing process? How did you get so good? Second, can you do character analysis on gojo? I wanna read your thoughts about him so bad. Third, can you give me writing tips on 1. How to create dialogues that'll makes sense coming out of the character's mouth, 2. how to make a character not go ooc, and 3. description?

P.s: Thank you so much for creating "How to be a dog" 🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽 (I'm still not done talking about this)

im going to CRY ANON HELLO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

first of all im glad you were able to find me again!!!!! i only learned recently that people used likes to store fics afdkjsdkj but it makes me very happy that you enjoyed it enough to do that!!!!!! second of all thank you for your kind words... a masterpiece!!! u want to turn it in to wallpaper i am so so so honred by that thank you.

dw i wont ever delete any of my fics. im too stubborn and leaving them up for the most part is like important to me. im so glad u liked gojo in it!! that sick freak. i spent a lot of time crafting his insane behaviors like a blacksmith at a forge dskjfshdkj

my writing process is just me being deranged tbh!! i do most of my best writing in my kitchen when im listening to music and idea pops up and i start expanding on it!! other than that im not much of a planner so i just play it by ear dfvkjfd i never outline or anything

as for my thoughts on gojo i have a post about it right here!!

and for dialogue my biggest piece of advice is watch the anime, read the manga, and listen to dub to get a feel for how a character talks. how do they shift tone towards the end of a sentence? how long do they talk? are they word or concise? do they use big and complicated words or are they clear but simple? etc etc.

and once you get a feel for their speech patters, READ YOUR DIALOGUE OUT LOUD LIKE YOU WERE ACTING IT!! i think a lot of dialogue that sounds stiff is just bc it sounds Written but dialogue should sound like it's inteded to be Voiced. i hope that helps

(AND THANK U AGAIN FOR UR ASK...MEANS A LOT!!!)

#return to sender #htbad.fic #hall of fame

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raven-at-the-writing-desk · 2 years

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ok so i just read ur chap 5 character analysis and?? I can’t

ijsut, I need to air

like?? u rlly just, i, huhhhh?? i love ur analysis of Riddle & Azul bc ppl are always like “o they very similar” and i just didn’t get the vibe?? but like, reading that first part it just, everything made sense, the cosmos connected and whatnot, but I was literally fangirling hard, they kinda have similar ideals coming from different backstory’s and i love how you were able to draw out how they reacted and why, I just love ur analysiss pls

and ok, uh, Leona & Jamil?? i was already kinda obsessed with their characters but, i can:T like. bro u made me fall deeper into this shit i blame u for my brainrots. just like how you can see they’s very similar and can relate to eachoter while still being their own character and having a similar pain come from different like, things. i just, these men have me on chokehold

and now, cool-aid hair Vil,

i am a whole new calm

U were able to just, like, make his past so understandable and show how it affected him, and how important it was to him for wanting to be a hero, and like, how much he was pushed to do it. and like?? he’s changing, he realizes and is trying (and succeeding) to change, to understand better. to be more neutral, and like, him jumping down to save Idia and Grim without a second thought, and becoming an old pepaw?? how he still just, like, okay.

first post here, anyways kinda old lurker on this blog i await for more character analysis. also im going to eat u and ur fics. this is a threat. I am a threat.

[Referencing this analysis!]

I think you meant my episode 6 analysis? (Episode 5 was when Vil and co. performed against Neige!) But I’m glad that you liked reading it! It took me a long time to write and it ate up a lot of my brain cells!

dbjsvwjxnskwir When lurkers send something to my inbox… It reminds me of a groundhog poking its head up from the underground, ringing in an early spring 😌 It’s sort of flattering in that sense, getting the shy hedgehogs to come out.

If you’re looking for more of my character analysis, I suggest checking out this masterlist! … I’d advise against eating me though, I’m not delicious 😅 and eating my writing might leave you with some paper cuts on your tongue, the ink dying your tongue black—

#notes from the writing raven #feedback for the writing raven

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dollfaceksj · 9 months

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okay clovey baby here’s my analysis <3 but before that I’m so glad you’re feeling better & your family is safe !<3

So when I first started reading I’m like “okay! Damn here we go!” But then as I’m reading I’m like “who tf is this!?” & then I found out it was Yoongi & I was like 🤪🤪🤪. But then I read that the time skip was TWO MONTHS!!! Two months of no jk!!!?!? That little shit didn’t show his face all that time?! in my last ask I mentioned how it’d be crazy if they fell off for a bit (I did not imagine 2 months, I love it tho bcs as you know, certified slut for angst!) & yoongi would show her why she doesn’t need jk (we all know she does) & that’s exactly what happened! Unbeknownst to jk (or maybe not👀) while he was too busy with his head stuck up his ass, yoongi & Oc have been spending all this time together. Blowing her back out? Flowers? Weekly outings to eat? :(((( YOONGI IS SO YUMMYYYY. I wonder how jk felt seeing oc looking all pretty in her Halloween costume! & I also noticed how there was no interaction mentioned between the friend group & jk during the party, the only time we saw him was because oc had to use the bathroom. So it made me wonder, was jk watching oc & yoongi dancing on the dance floor & all close up together from afar?! Was he in the bathroom trying to get his shit together, only to come out & be met with the source of his internal conflict? (Remember I’m an overthinker, so this is me doing just that) I can also agree with the other anons, that I full on thought that oc would catch jk & one of his girls coming out the bathroom looking properly fucked. I’m glad oc didn’t have to go through that :( The phone call between her & tae? Omg so cute, total bestie vibes when they start talking about Jin & joon! But then when he starts mentioning the camping trip??? My heart dropped to my ass too because I started thinking … what if he actually heard oc & jk & not joon&jin !!!! Also the whole Tae having a key thing???? Yeah, I see that going LEFT very quick! Now. jk showing up after literal months! Soaking wet from the rain? Drunk!? I would’ve wanted to shut the door in his face too if he wasn’t in the state he was in! Oc is a literal angel taking such gentle care of him, the getting down on her knees to take of his shoes, showering him, brushing his teeth, skin care, combing his hair, dressing him up?!???? Literal wifey vibes or mommy vibes if you will. I know for a fact that level of domesticness (dk if this is even a word) definitely made jk fall even more! Who wouldn’t? It pisses me off how he waited this long! & how he showed up in a state where you can’t even yell at him because he’s so drunk & vulnerable, it wouldn’t even feel right or fair. I hate how he admits he was “fine” without her & he could’ve kept up if he basically never saw her again. I hate how he’s so sweet & fessing up, even though he not sober :(. I loved the parallel between when she apologized & now him. The way he spoke the words she wrote out for him :( the way she turned her back to him this time :( but wait, him saying he’s in loveeee??? Is he actually though? I hate to ask because I’m just thinking about his attactchment issues, so is this him maybe confusing the two? Did he maybe love her before they even started sleeping together? Bcs from what I recall, their recent relationship has been made up of lots of cute banter, occasional fucking, lots of intimate kissing but not really too much getting to know each other, like in a bonding sense. So maybe did he like her before & then fall in love during the new untitled relationship they started? Or should she really not listen to him because he’s drunk? I have a personal conflict between the whole “drunk thoughts are sober feelings” thing so maybe this is me projecting. But I wanna hear him explain how/when he feel in love with oc because I still haven’t forgot about tae saying he thinks he’s still in love with his ex! I hate how he walked hour on her again, it seems like a pattern now. He needs to put on his big boy pants and learn to communicate & not run away. Each time he does he always leaves oc in a vulnerable state :( I absolutely loved this chapter & hope that … hold up 1/2

i enjoyed reading this so much i read it twice 😭 thank u for this! i was giggling reading ur questions cause i know the answers hehehehe

yesyes. i love u. thank u.

it will all become clear in due time

#toapp | jjk: discuss

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moriartyluver · 10 months

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🦢 anon is back with the song analysis again

ok but teen fl + teen idle by marina is soo real

“I wanna be a bottle blonde I don't know why but I feel conned”- her feeling like liam is more privileged than her and feeling slightly jealous of him because she saw him as a white b who got everything handed to him

“I wanna be an idle teen I wish I hadn't been so clean”- revenge revenge revenge

“I wanna stay inside all day I want the world to go away”- her being an introvert as a teen and only ever studying and maybe occasionally socialising

“I want blood, guts, and chocolate cake I wanna be a real fake”- her putting on a facade

“Yeah, I wish I'd been, I wish I'd been, a teen, teen idle Wish I'd been a prom queen, fighting for the title Instead of being sixteen and burning up a bible Feeling super, super, super suicidal”- the third line here is kinda like her being 16 and committing crimes ig?? Also fl low-key wants to unalive herself but knowing her she probably won’t try because of all her responsibilities

“The wasted years, the wasted youth The pretty lies, the ugly truth”- I know we didn’t get an exact thing abt fls relationship with Theo the pedo but I’d say it’s implied they probably did the deed. Like how when they were dancing in the Ashfordshire arc, liam said something abt fl having multiple partners in other aspects, also in the past chapter u mentioned that fl would visit Theo at night. I think she’d lie to herself and act as if she was just seducing him but really she was probably getting abused by him

“And the day has come where I have died Only to find, I've come alive”- fl having her grand duchess glow up post timeskip 👏 👏

“I wanna be a virgin pure A twenty-first century whore I want back my virginity So I can feel infinity”- fls issues with intimacy with Liam because of Theo. She probably never enjoyed the devils tango until liam came around because she was so used to using it for her ulterior motives 😕😕 also she always is getting fetishised and flirted with by the other noblemen to the point she felt she had to marry a guy she considered her biggest rival just to shake them off only for them to keep going and not understand how uncomfy she was

“I wanna drink until I ache I wanna make a big mistake I want blood, guts, and angel cake I'm gonna puke it anyway”- in the Noahtic arc, fl got drunk a bit and was probably using it as escapism for her issue of an heir. Also fls implied Ed ^^

“I wish I wasn't such a narcissist I wish I didn't really kiss The mirror when I'm on my own Oh God, I'm gonna die alone” - fl has slight self esteem issues imo so this lyric makes sense especially because she seemed to be a little meaner as a teen and rightfully so bc her brother literally died because of the British ofc she won’t like any of them. In like the second chapter fl made a comment abt dying alone and I thought that fits

“Adolescence didn't make sense A little loss of innocence The ugliness of being a fool Ain't youth meant to be beautiful?”- fl was suffering since she was like 9 and I don’t think anyone reached out to her tbh if she was really killing whole families at 16. She was probably hella merciless and numb poor girl. She also probably lost her innocence because of Theo and other weird noble guys

also she fits seventeen by marina too. If she was an mtp character she’d probably get angst edits to that one bit “I was brought up as a baby well you don’t know fuck about my family could never tell you what happened the day I turned seventeen the rise of the king and the fall of a queen”

fl is just sooo Marina coded idc

ALSO I AM BEGGING YOU TO GET SOME REST GIRLIE. u usually update like every day. We don’t need u losing sleep over false lovers I promise. Get ur beauty sleep 🙏

Stop this is literally a whole essay 😭 u are right abt most of it tho

Theo is literally such an asshole I’m glad fl killed him and tortured him

Bro was 20 and courting a 16 year old but wasn’t even following proper etiquette rules

Fl finds it so difficult to be affectionate with Liam all because of that stupid mf.

Grand duchess fl 🛐

Fls parents tried to reach out to help her with her grief when she was a kid but they were both suffering themselves and they were trying to find out who was responsible for fls brothers death while also suffering responsibilities as the grand duke and duchess. They tried but fl shut everyone out because she only wanted revenge

Fl also has really terrible self esteem issues but she doesn’t let it show at all. From her perspective William was just an asshole and she felt like it was unfair everyone treated him better than her. Paris and rory esque relationship tbh

Tbh fl would get edited with like every Marina song she’s just that Marina coded

Also I’m currently on holiday so I’m trying my best to get some rest after my exams. I’ll try to be constant with updates but tbh I don’t think I’ll update until I’m back home because my internet keeps getting fucked up lol

#—a’s anons 💄#—false lovers 💋#—a’s rambles ☕️

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bloodbenderz · 4 years

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humaniterations (dot) net/2014/10/13/an-anarchist-perspective-on-the-red-lotus/ this article from oct 2014 is very dense — truly, a lot to unpack here, but I feel like you would find this piece interesting. I would love it if you shared your thoughts on the points that stood out to you, whether you agree or disagree. you obv don’t have to respond to it tho, but I’m sending it as an ask jic you feel like penning (and sharing) a magnificent essay, as is your wont 💕

article

i know this took me forever 2 answer SORRY but i just checked off all the things on my to do list for the first time in days today so. Essay incoming ladies!

ok im SO glad u sent me this bc it’s so so good. it’s a genuinely thoughtful criticism of the politics in legend of korra (altho i think its sometimes a little mean to korra unnecessarily like there’s no reason to call her a “petulant brat” or say that she throws tantrums but i do understand their point about her being an immature and reactionary hero, which i’ll get back to) and i think the author has a good balance between acknowledging like Yeah the lok writers were american liberals and wrote their show accordingly and Also writing a thorough analysis of lok’s politics that felt relevant and interesting without throwing their hands up and saying this is all useless liberal bullshit (which i will admit that i tend to do).

this article essentially argues that the red lotus antagonists of s3 were right. And that’s not an uncommon opinion i think but this gives it serious weight. Like, everything that zaheer’s gang did was, in context, fully understandable. of course the red lotus would be invested in making sure that the physically and spiritually and politically most powerful person in the world ISNT raised by world leaders and a secret society of elites that’s completely unaccountable to the people! of course the red lotus wants to bring down tyrannical governments and allow communities to form and self govern organically! and the writers dismiss all of that out of hand by 1. consistently framing the red lotus as insane and murderous (korra never actually gives zaheer’s ideas a chance or truly considers integrating them into her own approach) 2. representing the death of the earth queen as not just something that’s not necessarily popular (what was with mako’s bootlicker grandma, i’d love to know) but as something that causes unbelievable violence and chaos in ba sing se (which, like, a lot of history and research will tell you that people in disasters tend towards prosocial behaviors). so the way the story frames each of these characters and ideologies is fascinating because like. if you wanted to write season 3 of legend of korra with zaheer as the protagonist and korra as the antagonist, you wouldn’t actually have to change the sequence of events at all, really. these writers in particular and liberal writers in general LOVE writing morally-gray-but-ultimately-sympathetic characters (like, almost EVERY SINGLE fire nation character in the first series, who were full on violent colonizers but all to a degree were rehabilitated in the eyes of the viewer) but instead of framing the red lotus as good people who are devoted to justice and freedom and sometimes behave cruelly to get where theyre trying to go, they frame them as psychopaths and murderers who have good intentions don’t really understand how to make the world a better place.

and the interesting thing about all this, about the fact that the red lotus acted in most cases exactly as it should have in context and the only reason its relegated to villain status is bc the show is written by liberals, is that the red lotus actually points out really glaring sociopolitical issues in universe! like, watching the show, u think well why the fuck HASN’T korra done anything about the earth queen oppressing her subjects? why DOESN’T korra do anything about the worse than useless republic president? why the hell are so many people living in poverty while our mains live cushy well fed lives? how come earth kingdom land only seems to belong to various monarchs and settler colonists, instead of the people who are actually indigenous to it? the show does not want to answer these questions, because american liberal capitalism literally survives on the reality of oppressive governments and worse than useless presidents and people living in poverty while the middle/upper class eats and indigenous land being stolen. if the show were to answer these questions honestly, the answer would be that the status quo in real life (and the one on the show that mirrors real life) Has To Change.

So they avoid answering these questions honestly in order for the thesis statement to be that the status quo is good. and the only way for the show to escape answering these questions is for them to individualize all these broad social problems down into Good people and Bad people. so while we have obvious bad ones like the earth queen we also have all these capitalists and monarchs and politicians who are actually very nice and lovely people who would never hurt anyone! which is just such an absurd take and it’s liberal propaganda at its best. holding a position of incredible political/economic power in an unjust society is inherently unethical and maintaining that position of power requires violence against the people you have power over. which is literally social justice 101. but there’s literally no normal, average, not-politically-powerful person on the show. so when leftist anarchism is presented and says that destroying systems that enforce extreme power differentials is the only way to bring peace and freedom to all, the show has already set us up to think, hey, fuck you, top cop lin beifong and ford motor ceo asami sato are good people and good people like them exist! and all we have to do to move forward and progress as a society is to make sure we have enough good individuals in enough powerful positions (like zuko as the fire lord ending the war, or wu as the earth king ending the monarchy)! which is of course complete fiction. liberal reform doesn’t work. but by pretending that it could work by saying that the SYSTEM isnt rotten it’s just that the people running it suck and we just need to replace those people, it automatically delegitimizes any radical movements that actually seek to change things.

and that’s the most interesting thing about this article to me is that it posits that the avatar...might actually be a negative presence in the world. the avatar is the exact same thing: it’s a position of immense political and physical power bestowed completely randomly, and depending on the moral character and various actions of who fills that position at any given time, millions of people will or won’t suffer. like kyoshi, who created the fascist dai li, like roku, who refused to remove a genocidal dictator from power, like aang, who facilitated the establishment of a settler colonial state on earth kingdom land. like korra! she’s an incredibly immature avatar and a generally reactionary lead. i’ve talked about this at length before but she never actually gets in touch with the needs of the people. she’s constantly running in elite circles, exposed only to the needs and squabbles of the upper class! how the hell is she supposed to understand the complexities of oppression and privilege when she was raised by a chess club with inordinate amounts of power and associates almost exclusively with politicians and billionaires?? from day 1 we see that she tends to see things in very black and white ways which is FINE if you’re a privileged 17 yr old girl seeing the world for the first time but NOT FINE if you’re the single most powerful person in the world! Yeah, korra thinks the world is probably mostly fine and just needs a little whipping into shape every couple years, because all she has ever known is a mostly fine world! in s1 when mako mentions that he as a homeless impoverished teenager worked for a gang (which is. Not weird. Impoverished people of every background are ALWAYS more likely to resort to socially unacceptable ways of making money) korra is like “you guys are criminals?????!!!!!” she was raised in perfect luxury by a conservative institution and just never developed beyond that. So sure, if the red lotus raised her anarchist, probably a lot would’ve been different/better, but....they didn’t. and korra ended up being a reactionary and conservative avatar who protected monarchs and colonialist politicians. The avatar as a position is completely subject to the whims of whoever is currently the avatar. and not only does that suck for everyone who is not the avatar, not only is it totally unfair to whatever kid who grows up knowing the fate of the world is squarely on their shoulders, but it as a concept is a highly individualist product of the authors’ own western liberal ideas of progress! the idea that one good leader can fix the world (or should even try) based on their own inherent superiority to everyone else is unbelievably flawed and ignores the fact that all real progress is brought about as a result of COMMUNITY work, as a result of normal people working for themselves and their neighbors!

the broader analysis of bending was really interesting to me too, but im honestly not sure i Totally agree with it. the article pretty much accepts the show’s assertion that bending is a privilege (and frankly backs it up much better than the original show did, but whatever), and i don’t think that’s NECESSARILY untrue since it is, like, a physical advantage (the author compares it to, for example, the fact that some people are born athletically gifted and others are born with extreme physical limitations), but i DO think that it discounts the in universe racialization of bending. in any sequel to atla that made sense, bending as a race making fact would have been explored ALONGSIDE the physical advantages it bestows on people. colonialism and its aftermath is generally ignored in this article which is its major weakness i think, especially in conjunction with bending. you can bring up the ideas the author did about individual vs community oriented progress in the avatar universe while safely ignoring the colonialism, but you can’t not bring up race and colonialism when you discuss bending. especially once you get to thinking about how water/earth/airbenders were imprisoned and killed specifically because bending was a physical advantage, and that physical advantage was something that would have given colonized populations a means of resistance and that the fire nation wanted to keep to itself.

i think that’s the best lens thru which to analyze bending tbh! like in the avatar universe bending is a tool that different ethnic groups tend to use in different ways. at its best, bending actually doesn’t represent social power differences (despite representing a physical power difference) because it’s used to represent/maintain community solidarity. like, take the water tribe. katara being the last waterbender, in some way, makes her the last of a part of swt CULTURE. the implication is that when there were a lot of waterbenders in the south, they dedicated their talents to building community and helping their neighbors, because this was something incredibly culturally important and important to the water tribe as a community. the swt as a COLLECTIVE values bending for what it can do for the entire tribe, which counts for basically every other talent a person can have (strength, creativity, etc). the fire nation, by contrast, distorts the community value of bending by racializing it: anyone who bends an element that isn’t fire is inherently NOT fire nation (and therefore inherently inferior) and, because of the physical power that bending confers, anyone who bends an element that isn’t fire is a threat to fire nation hegemony. and in THAT framework of bending, it’s something that intrinsically assigns worth and reifies race in a way that’s conveniently beneficial to the oppressor.

it IS worth talking about how using Element as a way to categorize people reifies nations, borders, and race in a way that is VERY characteristic of white american liberals. i tried to be conscious of that (and the way that elements/bending can act in DIFFERENT ways, depending on cultural context) but i think it’s pretty clear that the writers did intend for element to unequivocally signify nation (and, by extension, race), which is part of why they screwed up mixed families so bad in lok. when they’ve locked themselves into this idea that element=nation=race, they end up with sets of siblings like mako and bolin or kya tenzin and bumi, who all “take” after only one parent based on the element that they bend. which is just completely stupid but very indicative of how the writers actually INTENDED element/bending to be a race making process. and its both fucked up and interesting that the writers display the same framework of race analysis that the canonical antagonists of atla do.

anyway that’s a few thoughts! thank u again for sending the article i really loved it and i had a lot of fun writing this <3

#this is 2.1k words LMFAOO #asks #analysis #do i have an analysis tag?#crit #lok crit

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shinjaeha · 4 years

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itsay ep 4 (thoughts + spoilers)

idk even know how to even start this bc i feel like i’m just a big ball of emotions, and this ep was wild. so much happened. last ep was so wonderful and almost languid with how everything played out (esp since it focussed much more specifically on the shift in teh/oh-aew’s relationship). this ep had a bit more of everything, not just the two of them in their bubble anymore. societal forces at play, and hence much more angst. again, this isn’t a proper analysis, it’s just me ranting and raving as usual as i semi-rewatch this again. this is very long, and there are a lot more things i want to think about in more detail at some point bc i’m mostly just skating over a lot of what happened but i gotta get these thoughts in my head out of me somehow. and i’m not sure if what i’m typing will even make sense bc i MYSELF can barely make sense of what i’m feeling but here i go anyway.

so we start off with the both of them kind of awkward after the night before which is fair enough considering what happened. actually when oh-aew’s habit started playing up again, i thought teh wasn’t going to scratch his back bc he was trying not to ~go there again after the night before, but he did and i was pleasantly surprised like oh...maybe things aren’t that bad?? (YET). also, i can imagine that it would have been reassuring for oh-aew too. like things have changed, but it’s not like teh has completely abandoned him. the touch itself is comforting, like when they were kids.

teh’s mum talking about how she wants both of her sons to bring their girlfriends around (and hounding him about bringing tarn around again) is giving me war flashbacks to my own asian relatives and i can feel the way that must crawl under his skin. I HATE when family members do that (and they always do). but for teh it must be esp hard bc he’s already constantly feeling like he’s vying for his mum’s attention over his brother, and now hoon’s bought back a girlfriend so it’s yet ANOTHER thing he feels like he has to compete with his brother over. in the back of his mind, he knows that he can’t give his mum what she wants if he’s with oh-aew (he can’t ‘win’ over hoon bc heteronormativity). teh is def prone to jealousy fairly easily, but i always feel like his emotions on that base level are also very easy to understand. i’ve been in positions like that before where i’ve felt like i’ve constantly been compared to someone else, and it makes you feel like shit. but also oh-aew having to sit through teh’s mum telling him to let her know if teh and tarn are dating?? ouch.

cue teh trying to avoid what’s going on with them and oh-aew being sad :((( they’re both in so much pain and i feel it and thank god i am no longer a teenager that’s all i can say about this.

the guitar in skyline instrumental is just...making me feel some kind of way. they have so many versions of this song and they always use the right version at the right time how is that.

so the tarn scene!!!!!!!!!!!!!! first thought: holy shit she looks so cute i love her crop top where did she get it i want one. second thought: but why did they make her wear a dark bra under such a light top?? i love that i was thinking this and then it all unravelled in front of me and like...the brilliance. the contrast between the scene in ep 2 (i think?) where teh accidentally peeks at her bra through the buttons of her shirt and gets noticeably flustered, and then this one where she literally wears the same bra under a light shirt ON PURPOSE to get his attention, but he doesn’t even notice?? the way she expects him to colour the hibiscus purple, but he colours it red for oh-aew instead?? it’s so incredibly telling of where his heart is at, and how his feelings have changed. anyway, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that he’s just not all there with her anymore, and tarn isn’t stupid...she’s been picking up on the signals since the beginning (why was he so weirdly obsessed with beating oh-aew at the start? why was he willing to wake up at 4am for oh-aew but not for her? willing to tutor the rest of his friends but not spend time with her?). the way she sees him colouring the hibiscus red and it’s her wake up call, like wtf am i DOING bc of this guy????? i love how she acknowledges that her feelings for teh have made it so she’s solely focussed on him and that she hates the things it makes her do (like wearing the bra to gain his attention). ngl i was slightly worried with how they were going to use her character during these later eps with teh being so conflicted (since girlfriends in BLs are usually handled pretty poorly), but i appreciate that she’s still as fleshed out and full of feeling as she ever was. she’s so sweet, and i just wish she had better than this, but i’m glad she called teh out on it. i know he’s confused af rn, and tbh i don’t think he’s handled this as badly (atm at least) as i thought it could have gone, but at the same time, if he doesn’t decide and set his heart on what he really wants, he’s just going to end up hurting them all. LOVE that she basically tells him to get his shit together first before coming back to her. i like her so much. and that scene of teh just walking around and around at the back feeling conflicted while she drew? really reminds me of the squiggly line timeline(?) of how ep 4 was going to go that nadao released before this ep went live. also cmbyn vibes were real in that one.

the devastation in oh-aew’s voice when he asks teh to at least reply his messages ;;; it’s like teh wants to go back to just being friends and oh-aew has kind of accepted that at this point, but at the same time, teh’s not backing that up. he says he wants to be friends, but he doesn’t know how to act ‘normal’ about it anymore, so he pushes oh-aew away instead. good on oh-aew for not taking that shit and standing up for himself too. i absolutely cannot stand seeing oh-aew sad bc pp’s sad face/voice is so good it actually pains me.

notice how teh ALWAYS uses studies/tutoring as an excuse to get closer to oh-aew again...hmmm...does oh-aew see it for what that is now too? that “you’ve never understood me” hit me like a fucking train. to think that they were so attuned to one another last ep, but now teh’s too caught up in he’s own world to realise just how much he’s hurting oh-aew. thanks, i hate it.

i know that he’s needs to figure himself out more and i absolutely stand by the fact that he needs to do that without messing around with either oh-aew or tarn (and also that he’s using studies again to get into oh-aew’s good books instead of talking through feelings and all that), but the chinese idiom book that he made for oh-aew was actually SO CUTE and romantic. all this stuff he does for oh-aew to show that he clearly cares so much, yet he can never accept it enough to get the words out...

I SWEAR THEY PLAY THE INSTRUMENTAL SKYLINE JUST TO CHOKE ME UP. the darting around each other after the neck kiss COUPLED with the skyline instrumental?? it’s like a sad beach scene 2.0. teh making the first (intimate) move this time. every time he’s trying so hard to convince himself he’s not in love with this boy, and every time he keeps coming back. i always feel such a weird mix of happy and sad when i see them together bc i love them but i know teh in particular, is just not ready yet. like the hug scene made my heart leap, BUT they did it in hiding (under the staircase). all their big intimate scenes are in hiding and that just :(((

teh saying that he loves the seawater on his back bc it holds him up, and oh-aew saying but you have to hold your breath in that posture and it gets uncomfortable so he likes letting it go and just sinking sometimes instead (obv paraphrasing but you get the drift)?? THE WRITING IN THIS. it says so much without telling the audience directly...so poetic. everything about this show is so poetic. the way they sink into the ocean and into that space of oh-aew’s where you can just let yourself go without holding back, and then and only THEN does teh finally kiss oh-aew. and it’s beautiful, after holding back for so long, but it’s also painful bc he’s let go but only within this tiny pocket of space and time. in hiding again. that bird’s eye view shot where you can’t see them at all sealed it for me. like you want to be happy, but you can’t really bc you know that they’ve still got so much more to go...like when teh’s hand grazes oh-aew’s chest and you see oh-aew realise again...like that’s partly what stopped teh the first time in ep 3. when his hands stopped at oh-aew’s chest like it hit in for him that he was a boy. anyway, love that they gave us a skam kiss but i’m also very sad. on another note, how the hell did they hold their breath for that long?????

love that they gave us a further 2 more seconds of teh/oh-aew being cute (CONSTANTLY thinking about teh’s fingers dancing across oh-aew’s face and smushing his face in his hands...oh-aew holding the back of teh’s head...just a brief moment of carefreeness) before they went for the jugular. watching teh fight against himself in this way is what hurts. oh-aew begging him to just let go and accept what they are (the way he keeps going “what did i do wrong?? you feel it too!!”) but he’s so tortured he can’t do it. it’s downright fucking heartbreaking. the “one day i’ll stop feeling this way”...could have just stabbed oh-aew and it would have hurt less. all i know is i’m hurting for the both of them. the repression is real, and it just sucks. this whole thing fucking sucks for both of them (and tarn and bas too at that). idk it just gets me that oh-aew is coming out of this having been rejected once again bc teh isn’t ready yet. and i know this but it doesn’t make me any less upset. not at any of them bc it’s hard i know it’s hard...just at the situation. sometimes it feels like teh’s taking a step forward but then he takes two more back instead. the look on teh’s face when oh-aew was like let’s stop being friends...total devastation. i’m done. don’t want to think about it anymore.

i’m glad that oh-aew’s parents are so supportive of him though. i wasn’t sure how close they were based on their previous interaction but they really love him and i’m glad he has that stability to help him through this.

THE SCENE WITH OH-AEW AND THE BRA FUCKING BLEW ME AWAY. this show is always keeping me guessing, and again yet another thing that i wasn’t expecting but it was so visceral. the red of the bra in comparison to tarn’s bra with the purple hibiscus flowers on it...everything connects. oh-aew looking into the mirror with that bra on and thinking about how things would have been different if only :((( and then his breakdown when he realises that it’s not and that’s the reality of the situation. the feeling that gave me sits so deep within my chest i can’t even begin to carve it out.

teh masturbating when he sees that picture of oh-aew and to that picture of yongjian on his wall (idk why it only now just occurred to me that yongjian is always in red too)?? the self-hatred in this scene. the internalised homophobia. my heart feels so heavy.

he KEEPS reaching and it’s going nowhere bc it won’t ever be enough, and that’s not fair on himself and it’s not fair on tarn. like i understand what he’s going through, and i get that he’s extremely confused and needs the clarification, but when he asks tarn to tell her she loves him and he can’t do the same back for her...i just feel so, so, so fucking bad for tarn.

oh-aew hoping that the worksheets left for him were from teh (which would be very on brand of him), but then seeing bas :( maybe in another world, in another life (like teh and tarn)...but he’s such a sweetheart. bas, best boy ;;;

legit as soon as the gang came to see teh off to bangkok and talk to him about how oh-aew was doing terribly (and wasn’t planning on going to the admission exams) i knew where this was going to go. there’s been so much foreshadowing leading up to this, and this was also one of (if not my main theory) with how things were going to eventually play out. but tbh for some reason i thought it was going to play out later in ep 5...but like damn. damn. the way i understand but at the same time i kept going OH TEH :( throughout this. the utter STRESS this bit put me through. THE MISCOMMUNICATION.

anyway, teh’s love language is clearly acts of service. but it can really be to his detriment when he does things impulsively (albeit with care and good intentions), but he doesn’t use his words so things get lost in translation. sometimes actions just aren’t enough and you really do need words to communicate.

the confirmation scene was so tense...even now i’m just sitting here thinking about it and there’s a hole in my stomach at the thought of what teh must be going through and what he ends up doing. like when that last person on the list shows up and you KNOW it’s going to happen but at the same time it’s like a punch to the chest bc there’s just no doubt that teh’s going to turn it down for oh-aew...OF COURSE he would. oh-aew’s split moment of happiness before realising what teh’s done...the absolute dread i still have in me at the realisation of this.

the tension really kept increasing from here on in...teh coming home and his mum just being so fucking proud of him and telling everyone in the restaurant about how happy she is for him (all while teh is absolutely depleted), then tarn coming in and everything bubbling over when she realises what teh’s done too. realises that teh’s in love with oh-aew (smile is so great in this btw like WOW). the “you hurt me and i’m alright with that, teh, but right now you’re hurting yourself” broke my heart. absolutely love tarn as a character and only ever want the best for her.

when he tells his mum :((((((((((( and his mum just goes on about how hard he’s worked and how much he’s already sacrificed only for him to throw that away. he wanted her to be proud of him SO BAD, wanted to not be compared to his brother for once, only for him to give away his place bc he loves oh-aew more than he wants his mother’s praise. more than he wants to compete and ‘win’ against his brother. when she points to hoon and goes “why can’t you be more like him?” and he just loses it. like rubbing salt in the wound. i’m so glad hoon finally hugged him the way i’ve been wanting to this whole time. the banner congratulating him that teh’s mum made with all his materials from before :((( hoon giving him money for uni :((( you ever watch some things and feel like you’ll never be happy again...

okay the way that everything spiralled during the ig story fight?????? what gets me is that teh sacrificed his place thinking that oh-aew wasn’t going to sit the exam at all (he could have just talked to him and convinced him instead but ughhh i understand i get it). oh-aew thinks he did it bc teh didn’t believe he could get in himself (which of course then spurs him to give it up so he can get in through the exam instead). and when teh sees that, it’s like a smack in the face, like he went through all that only for oh-aew to reject it (him). it’s just layers upon layers of miscommunication and the anxiety of it all absolutely guts me. and then the anger mixing into devastation when he opens his book and sees how it’s all cut up. the remnants a reminder of everything he’s done for oh-aew. this boy that he adores but can’t accept he has feelings for. it’s just this mix of anger and sorrow and what have i fucking done?????? and how could he????? the cast were all fantastic but billkin really had to go above and beyond in this one and i could absolutely feel his pain throughout this.

TO PIGGY BACK ON THIS, like i said before, teh has always used studying/tutoring as a tool to get closer to oh-aew, but seeing that book with all the words gone was in part also him realising he doesn’t have that anymore. he can’t use that tool to get close to oh-aew anymore. the only way forward would be to actually get close to oh-aew without the pretences. and the saddest part of this all is that oh-aew doesn’t even NEED all of that (the tutoring, the book of idioms, the relinquishing of his uni spot)...the only thing he wants is for teh to ADMIT his feelings out loud. to admit that he feels the same way about oh-aew that oh-aew feels about him.

it’s funny bc in the last ep, the conversation that had me feeling the most nervous was when they’re talking at the cape, and oh-aew’s telling teh that he’s a rival and inspiration to him. i always KNEW this was going to come back to haunt them. like a constant circle. friends to rivals to friends to more than friends(?) to rivals. it’s a fine line. narratively, it always had to happen, and now they’re back to competing against one another yet again, and it’s going to be so tough bc they’ll have so much more competition on top of that as well.

next ep is going to be very, very hard on teh, but somehow after this ep, i just feel a lot more hopeful about it? i’m pretty convinced at this point that it won’t end in tragedy (which was the thing that i wanted least of all). of course i want both teh and oh-aew to end up together, but i can understand if they don’t. if this ends with them rekindling their friendship again, that’ll be enough for me. their relationship has been so turbulent and passionate that it needs some stability, and hopefully when teh’s in a better state of mind, when he’s at a place when he’s finally accepted all parts of himself, they’ll get there. so if that means it ends on them running to the cape together (even if they’re not technically together) fulfilling their promise to one another in the sunset, then that’s fine with me. i don’t mind an open ending if it makes sense in the context of the story, and i think something like that would. it’s like after such an angsty episode, you need a slight reprieve from it. i have no doubt in my mind that ep 5 will contain darkness, but i do think that there will be light at the end of the tunnel. so for once i feel truly hopeful about it.

i can’t believe we only have one more ep left to go...

#i told sunset about you #itsay #like there's more angst to come but the real climax of it was in this ep that's how i feel anyway #idk if both of them will get in. i HOPE both of them do.#but i just think that when things get angsty at this point of the story there's always a chance for it to turn around #you just need to worry when things are too happy UNTIL you get to the last ep #tbh though i would like a kiss between them out in the open when teh's finally stopped repressing himself #just so he can show the character growth of his whole arc. so he can be free.#i would obv very much like for them to end up together but there's only one ep left so idk if they can get to that point when there's still #so much that teh has to learn to come to terms with #and he's going to be so so stressed with the exam too (i saw the previews and am bracing myself for more heartbreak as he cries)#i did not mean for this to be as long as it was but i was sporadically writing it as i worked and kept thinking of things to add #and it somehow became an essay #i wrote more in this than i've ever written in any of my uni essays GOD #if you read this whole thing you need some kind of medal or something idk man #also random note but teh's mum's kebaya looks like one that my mum owns #text

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yamagucji · 4 years

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a series of thank you’s i’ve been meaning to give for a while now. please note i couldn’t get everyone bc im smol brained and im forgetful :(( also its vedy long so i added a readmore link but if it’s okay then i can remove it!

i would’ve preferred to go to your inboxes/dm’s but im scared t🤢umblrs going to glitch on me if i do it again a ha ha

@doublemoons

i remember you sent in my first ever request and i was SO happy like🥺 my account had no visibility on week 1 but then you somehow found my blog and since then you’ve been supporting me. i love the aesthetic of your blog and i always look forward to your rb’s because they so cute and insightful !! ik we haven’t talked much but i definitely perceive u as a gentle person here’s 1k hearts for you and you only <3

@insanityqueen

please i was *intense squealing* and *happy noises* when you said you wanted to be mutuals :’) im definitely uhhh way too immature for u but you still stick with all the caps and !!! i send you😭 you’re such an interesting, talented person. day 1 you got me HOOKED with your art and im gonna say this again,, i have never seen skin look soo s o f t painted. im really grateful for your company and all your cats and the hinata art you made me🥺 i am not still thirsting over it i swear and then you sent me pieces of your writing and i def expected hc’s but then BOOM🧍‍♀️ im so amazed by your writing. also you are vv pretty i hope you know that

@zephyrria

matching heart memes matching heart memes😾 i don’t talk to you as much but our main form of communication is literally exchanging heart memes w/o a word,,, if that isn’t true love idk what is :// anyway i love our little convos so much it always brightens my day! and omg lets not forget when you made me a drabble back😳 like wha- HUH !! i was so touched i rlly went boom boom woosh bc no ones ever written me one back and i!! that yamaguchi gives me so much comfort. you give me sm comfort, thank you bub <3

@beanst0ck

hehe my first tumblr crush😼 as soon as i deactivated my reading account to my a writing blog i was like “ok bean is on my top to-follow list” like i thought you were so cool and i was vv shy to interact with you🥺 and YOU STILL ARE COOL!! your works are really amazing and i am vv much still in love w my matchup w suga :’)

@killuababie

HHHH GRR BORK BORK I LUB U B NEVER GONNA STOP LOVING YOU BHH💓✨ bro,,,, when we switched over to insta it was WILD like— our sense of humor? matched. immaculate. please i love seeing all the memes u send me it makes my day so much like u don’t understand😭 and our convos really go chaos sometimes gkfjdj i love it. u need to pull up and play among us w me sometime 😡

@bewwybun

m-my first spouse🥺 even tho it was a joke the first time and i said sike fkdjdjdj but you still accepted my dino chimken nuggie ring hehe <3 bub your are literally the CUTEST HHHHH LIKE,,, cuteness overload !!! i love talking to you sm and our little exchange of heart memes make the butterflies in my tummy go ✨

@mei-writes

may🥺 imy bub i hope you’re doing well and taking good care of yourself. still very grateful for that time you pulled through to check which of my links weren’t working. and there’s a LOT. like the fact that you took time out of your day for me still baffles me. anyway im lomve you ik we don’t talk as much but you’re still a valued moot to me. im offering u free headpats hehe

@kozsma

hi maria👉👈 you’re so wonderful and rlly amazing w your smaus. absolutely smitten over our chaotic conversations fkfjd we haven’t talked in a while but if you see this just know that i’m here for you <3 take some self care okay? hope you’re doing good bub

@tsukkeisimp

dalia, you wondering being💞 please what did i do to deserve your love >;( we don’t talk much but we have exchanged heart memes before and you’re always out here supporting me whenever you can and like!! tysm bub. i hope you’re feeling better from the last time we interacted, and please do take good care of yourself!

@satorispup

can’t believe you made a reputation of having a piss kink. what power. what energy >>> anyway it’s fun seeing your chaotic energy on my feed/tl. sometimes i won’t even look at the user and say yeah💔 that’s hero alright gkfjdj also you’re so cute what the heck😡😡

@tobiokvgs

[ insert 100 hearts ] this for u bub. im still going crazy over your tsukki lipbalm piece like i was so FLUSTERED you really did that huh😭 you’re so nice and sweet, ty for giving me headbonks as well im really glad to get them😌 hope you have an amazing day bub, and take care!!

@bunnyuuji

cutecutecutest bean ever🥺 you have such wonderful works and im truly in love with your writing😌 also you’re so SWEET WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE U GKFJDJ literally you weren’t obligated to stop by my ask and check in but u did >:(

@yanderepunkin

hehe ik we haven’t interacted in such a long time but im including you!! bc i appreciate you!! i know you’ve supported me a lot especially when i just started this blog and im really thankful for it. also uhhh im still not over accidentally turning off anon when i was- yeah😿 i wish you all the love in the world, and please do take gentle care of yourself 💓

@ahkaahshi

frannn👁👁🤲 yes im gonna start with how big brained you are. your passion for textiles and improving the environment is vv cool to me. and then there’s the fact you write these hq characters so well. yes i am absolutely still living for your character analysis. i am thriving off of them!! here’s me manifesting kita and/or sakusa to show up in your dreams hehe

@sachirou-senpai

i hope you dont mind me sending u stuff every now and then! anyway im in awe of your writing and art skills. you brought a realistic yamaguchi and i ascended😳 i genuinely think you’re such a cool person but also please take breaks!! ik it’s such an overused phrase but i genuinely mean it. i care u <3

@kenmakodzu

you’re so sweet and you do really be sending me back some heart memes😳 i go BOOM BOOM yaya that’s more to my collection;) also you and your hq anon interactions go WILD omg it really does make my day more interesting whenever i see them😂 also i do be seeing some of ur chaotic energy on my dash and i am HERE for it

@tsukkisbean

hemlo clara🥺 d-do you remember me gkdjshsjs i think its been a while since we interacted. you’re so sweet and AHH lmao did u know we were in a poly with wiss😔💔 yeah❤️ n e way i hope you’ve been alright these past few weeks, and if not, please get some break!

@atsunflower

miya twin supremacy😡 can’t believe you made me swerve over to osamu’s lane because of your amazing writing. how could you. the mf audacity. i rlly do fell in love with that piece do so THAMK U and that also goes for the support you’ve given me💗

@lespaghetti

ozzy👁👁🤝 ngl our conversations have been top tier im glad i got to uhmm,,, get some of these *thoughts* out of my head. you’re such a sweet little bean!!! that art/sketch you did with the purple (?) themed uniforms was really cute. im glad to have u as my moot and *cough* my vip reader *cough*

@sleepykarabou

our heart meme streak was strong until school happened😔 but i really enjoy them tho!! it’s very calming talking to you (fun, but also vv calming idk that’s how i feel) loving the brainrots we give each other of our favs from time to time :’) also omg OSRRY im barely active in the server please spare me😿 im lomve u

@nerdybreadcollaborative

gee!! AHHHH KGFJJD GRRR u sweet bean oh my goodness. where do i start- ??? i’ve already gushed so much abt your writing but here we go again; i love your writing so much and your attention to the little details is so great. they flow so well and i hope u get more visibility bc it’s what u deserve!! also please take care of yourself and don’t work too much u nerdy bean

@nishinoya-is-baby

ely my plant kinnie, my spouse (?) and also the blog that i dump my h word thots on😭❤️ ahhh im lomve you, you’re amazing. from your writing, to your makeup skills, and your room, the talent really ✨jumped out✨thank you for supporting me so much, i genuinely appreciate it. i hope we can stay moots despite me being busy gkfjdj anyway take care bbie don’t work too much okay?

@art0saurus

TATE😤 the amount of hq brainrot you’ve fed me is astronomical. idk how you keep coming up with such good ideas but im all for them!! i love your writing so much and the plots are so *chefs kiss* (yes im still gushing over mermaid!bokuto). thank you so much for sending some bits of positivity into my life, im really grateful for it :’)

@dorkyhaikyu

EL!😼 you sweet bean. wish i could bombard ur asks but school is saying no </3 you’re such a sweet mutual and your writing is absolutely amazing. still kinda hurt over that angst u made💔 but anyway i loved it sm. also please wear safer shoes next time on big events so u dont get any more BLISTERS kgjdjdh jkjk

@chickenwingspiker

nashnashnash🥺👉👈 wth you’re so cute and even cuter with the little emoticons u put in my asks. i really appreciate you taking time out of your day to check in on me. i think your works are really heckin cool, im still very into that sock agenda one and the akaashi fic AHH i love them sm. i hope that u have better experiences with online learning and i really wish you all the best on ur art journey <3

@miyastrology

did u forget abt our walk to the strawberry field😿 jkjk heyyy atlas!! im lomve your theme and your writing. i have the urge to say you’re as sweet as strawberry bc im unoriginal like that💔 let’s just pretend i put something kute :’( n e way u are vv cute, make sure to take care of yourself ok!!

@derpeedoo

your rb’s and comments on ppl works... i just... my heart is full. im complete. i go absolute doki doki for you. you’re such a genuine person and you give people so much love❤️ here’s an unlimited supply of my love to you bc you deserve it. ty for all the cute questions btw🥺

🕊 anon - still wondering if ur one of my already-moots or not😳 but anyway dove anon i have a lot to say,,, like how ?? do u go “ok let’s check in on aaron today hehe” like am i interesting??😭 i feel kinda bad ngl you really don’t have to talk to me. but nevertheless im really appreciate of all the support you’ve given me. i genuinely think you’re a cool person and you do all these fun stuff like photography which is amazing. here’s the biggest THANK YOU i could ever give <3 ps. your art is CUTE and AMAZING @bee-kins

@simping-for-tendou

do i??? spam your feed??😭 you’re always liking my posts and i feel so sorry for spamming but also vv appreciate of all the interaction i’ve had with you!! im very glad i got to ask you qotd and stuff because i got to know that you like plants as well!! thank you for sharing plant facts with me, it really made my day. i genuinely think you’re such an awesome and big brained person for knowing all those facts🥺👉👈

@wissaaltje

ngl i was very intimated by you bc of all your angst and really good works which is probably why i never reached out to you sooner😿 ur my uhhh third spouse <3 but anyway your CHAOTIC ENERGY is thru the roof i love that sm and your writing is so mf beautiful i wish more people got to see it😡 i will gib you flower soup and muddy pie to make you feel better ;) jkjk but you’re very amazing and i hope you know that!

@smolbludandelions

hehe you’re in here😼 thank you ???? for supporting me even tho you’re not obligated??? like wh- i- bub🥺🤲 you have all my heart and i rlly rlyy want to stop by your inbox and give you heart memes but me why >;( i hope you have the most amazing day(s) of your life because you deserve it SO much.

@tadashi-simp

FINALLY someone i can simp over yamaguchi with😭 ik we haven’t talked much but AH i love the conversations we’ve had so far and all that insight you gave me about the new wanda film (truly a blessing bc i was so genuinely confused gkfjdj).

@oikaw-ugh

just. JOLLIBEE. can’t believe one of our first interactions was u sending me chain mail smfh i cannot believe you😭 anyway po i appreciate you so much na kaka tawa ako sa mga msgs mo and all the good vibes u radiate. mag bisaya unta ko nimi pero baka mag nosebleed ako😿 im losing my native languages it’s not even funny anymore but when i got to talk to u in my mother tongue, i felt a bit more at home. thank you bub <3

@makemealive

hihi👉👈 idrk what we first talked about, i think it was spending vacation in the galapagos islands??😭 riding turtles??? what a great way to start our friendship :’) i rlly think you’re cool and i just,,,, admire u from afar- yeah. sorry this message is too chaotic but anyway u might not have a green thumb but look at you growing potatoes accidentally😌 anyway i think you’re cool i just haven’t said it before because im s Hy

@lostsealscreams

seal, bub, i genuinely care about you. you’re such a sweet person. i know we haven’t interacted much but im looking forward to more conversations with you!! please find little fun things to do... maybe do some self appropriation if you can, bc you deserve it. maybe even treat yourself... or any self care tasks that make you feel better. i care about you a lot, im just an ask/dm away if you wanna talk about anything at all💕💞✨

@hqgardenia - jkjk this is my spam account idk why i put this here but here probably bc im dumb as fuck

#cupid; talks!#queuepid

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imbellarosa · 3 years

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I’d like to say a really quick thank you and love you to a few people that have truly been gifts this year. All of you are amazing and made 2020 bearable, and brought a lot of joy, love, and friendship in a time where it would seem difficult to find that. But, in fact, you all surprise me time and time again with your heart, your kindness, and your capacity for friendship. Thank you all so very much.

@belgianreader2 -> Do I? Even have to say it??? My love you have been my best friend since we were sixteen, and you will forever be the sister of my heart. A true tequila. You celebrate with me, you cry with me, you stay awake with me, and you listen to all of the random trivia for fandoms that you aren’t even in! But more than that, you’re family, and I wouldn’t have made 2020 without you.

@asmicarus -> My partner in crime!! The world is not ready for us, but give us a year and we’ll have fixed all of the world’s issues. I LITERALLY cannot wait. Our energy is unmatched, your support is constant and your sense of humor literally ALWAYS makes me laugh, no matter what. Don’t ever change - or at least not until we finish our grand Julie Andrews plan, make loads of money, and take over the world. Thank you for being you, and for loving me!

@dalek-in-heels -> my beta, my fellow magicians vet, FRIEND! There are so many things I would never have been able to do without you, and I can’t believe we met over a year ago bc of the shitty magic show. Truly the only good thing it brought into my life was you, and for that I will forever be grateful. Your art, your smile, your wit, your kindness, and your grace are a gift and a blessing - always, but especially this year.

@queenlokibeth -> I have no words. I would not have made quarantine without you, chica! We became friends when I badly needed one, and since then we’ve been suffering together through fandom drama, school messes, human issues, and a BUNCH of wacky stories. I am SO glad that I had you for this, because you are one of the BEST people, and I wouldn’t have stuck around for more fandom fun without you. I CANNOT wait to go to a concert either in sparkly HAZmat suits or our matching T-Shirts!

@dependsonwhospitching -> my WIFE!!! my KNIFE WIFE!!! what other words do I have for you??? Literally, since July, you have become one of my closest confidants, someone who I turn to when I am sad, and who I laugh with when things are good. I am SO grateful for our Taylor dates and our election night phone call and the plans to GET TOGETHER soon. You, my love, are always in my heart, and you are, of course, LEMON OVER ICE!!! But you are also one of the best people I know, and I don’t have the words to express how much I adore you.

@thewestishharpooners -> you’re one of the biggest TALENTS and biggest HEARTS I have ever met in ANY fandom!! From the first time we chatted, I was like THIS ONE I WANT TO BE FRIENDS WITH THIS ONE! And weirdly enough, you agreed! We became a squad with art trades and book recs and hottakes and your capacity for kindness ALWAYS astounds me. I am so very glad that you wanted to talk about My Policeman with me. The book might suck, but I’m grateful for it, anyways <3

@lascitateognesperanza -> my badass friend who ALWAYS has my back. There has never ONCE been a second where I thought I would have to face anything on this website alone since you and I became friends. Any time someone comes at me, they’ve come at both of us, and I cannot tell you how much love I have for you. AND BESIDES THAT: you’re a Taylor stan and we’re doing a SUPER British bookclub and going to a Niall and a Taylor concert how could we NOT have been friends?? it’s like an invisible string tied you to me <3

@evilovesyou -> EVI!! *sings* Vienna waits for youuuuu. We became fast friends and it DEFINITELY feels like I’ve known you longer than I have but that’s because of your kindness and your ability to just. Be so cool 100% of the time. Your writing and your art is AMAZING, you have SUCH a passion for what you do IRL and you have never had a take I disagree with. You are a gift to the fandom and your friendship is a gift to me personally, and I CANNOT WAIT to go to a concert with you we are gonna TEAR UP THE CITY!

@louciernagas -> my friend you said it best: you make me feel warm, like the sun, but when I see you on my dash I always think of the moon. Beautiful and brilliant and reflecting light of everyone around them. I am SO grateful to get to hear your thoughts, your analysis, your love for your friends and the fandom.

@statementlou -> pointing_spiderman.gif. No other words necessary. Thank you for your friendship and all the laughter, support, kindness, friendship, and sheer joy you add to my life. Truly a Louis in the world at large <3

@goldenistheantidote -> thank you for your kindness, your art, your love, and your willingness to open your family to me. The sheer amount of joy that you exude and love for everyone and anyone that you interact with floors me, and I’m very glad to have met you and become your friend this year

#i say things #shut up bella #my FRIENDS!!!!#honestly its the holiday season i'm so sorry but it makes me sappy #and i'm so glad the year is almost over but i'm so thankful for all of you #you have made my year and my life that much brighter

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yume-fanfare · 3 years

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hi i am that anon from like 29th Dec (last dang year) who said i read ur tsuki no hime and loved it and that u understand Aizou. i have read more of ur stuff since then and now i NEED to ask you for writing advice, on both characterization and general writing tips since I didnt mention it before. Sorry about that! i just forgot i sent an ask and i do not get notifs at all (or does anon asks not get notifs?) Also, ART STUDENT! That's why the nice art and art leaning!! I feel smart for sensing it

oh yup, tumblr doesn't send notifs for anon asks! but i'm glad you did see the answer anyway

this post is hideously long, so answer under the cut!

so, on characterization: it is mostly a matter of what would they say, rather than what you want them to say. the joke about "the characters do what they want to" instead of what the writer wants is pretty much true if you want them to be in character lol (that's why sometimes a little bit of OoC isn't too bad)

checking the source material is the most important thing: look at prior similar interactions the characters have had and how they reacted

this is kind of hard with LIPxLIP, as there aren't that many translated texts about them but with honeyworks the most canon and reliable thing to use as reference are the mvs. the mvs are drawn in a way that can pretty much be understood even if you don't have the lyrics, and sometimes it's even better if you can't read them, to properly focus on the images better

look at their expressions closely: while aizou is always explosive in his anger, yuujirou often has a more indifferent expression. so, when they fight, aizou is probably the one to blow up first while yuujirou maintains his composure better. it's kind of the classic "this was only a brief passing panel but i am going to expand on it" www

but the thing about fanfiction is that it's always a bit of a character analysis in itself. you don't start writing having already a color-coded folder of possible situations and reactions a character would have for each setting. you just throw the characters in a scenario and then think from there onwards, and eventually you'll be able to have the folder of situations and what you think their reactions would be like. (though, this links back to the prior point, if the characters have gone through a similar situation in canon, use that as guide! plus, finding little references to canon when reading is always fun)

for general writing, i'm going to mostly talk about my own experiences and process! i'm in no way a professional though

the basic is reading a lot. not just books but also fanfic. in fact, since you're writing fanfic, i Encourage you to read fanfic. even if your story ends up novel length, the way of treating the story is different from that of an actual novel. for example, because you're working under the premise that everyone knows the characters already. the general style of fics is different as well.

in fact, the style is the main reason i'm saying this slfkslfkslkf

read a lot of stuff and find a style you like. think of it as sewing together pieces from here and there to make a frankenstein amalgamation: this person's metaphors, the comparisons from here, the descriptions from there

personally, i adore the "long one-shot with a long title formatted (like this)" fics that are mostly feelings and descriptions and as little dialogue as possible, and some that occasionally play with the "show don't tell" rule, and some months ago i read a book whose descriptions amazed me because you could feel what the character was focusing on the most, rather than being general descriptions of the situation (i actually have a lot of thoughts about descriptions but that's a post for another day). but also i really like dialogue and plot-driven stories, descriptions can get boring and before trying to break rules, you have to be really good at following them

but, let's go step by step: developing an idea

for this i'm going to mostly reference the multichap i finished a while ago as an example

i started with just a few vague concepts in mind: non-idol au with aizou who does some sport and likes music but is insecure about his singing and yuujirou who does some music related thing and encourages him to sing in a way that's somehow related to the hozier song to noisemaking (sing), because it's what inspired me to write in the first place

then, from then onwards i wrote down what would happen in the first chapter of the story bullet-point-list-style, including things like the roommates part or the clubs the boys were in (at first yuujirou was in the choir club lol the change was a last second decision that idk why i took) and then bits of dialogue here and there that would be The Turning Points. those first dialogues were for the fight at the end of ch 1, the apology-date in ch 3 and then some vaguely unused ones for the "yuujirou encourages aizou" part, as those were the first key moments i thought of

because, since it's enemies to friends to lovers, an important aspect was character development

not all fics have character development bc not all of them are long enough (if you're aiming for short and sweet then there's no need). but if they do, i recommend you write down how the character was at the beginning of the story and then how they were at the end and then fill in the middle later, think of what those key turning points that made the character change were (the more little things you add, the more gradual it'll be)

samishigariya illustrates this very nicely: the song starts and finishes with the same lines, but the ending ones feel more light-hearted. the beginning has pre-arisa ken and pre-getting-along-with-yuujirou aizou, when they were the lonely people the title mentioned, and the ending, when they're not lonely anymore. the in between can be seen in depth during the other songs: ken before arisa was a playboy who didn't take love seriously, but after meeting her he realized that games were not all there was to love; and aizou used to be quite cranky and high-key a loner, but then he "meets precious things and knows of love". i will not elaborate on that because this isn't an aiyuu post but Oh You Know

for the fic, aizou would go through that same process, more or less: someone who doesn't really form meaningful connections with people but who, in the end, would end up having quite a bunch of people who care about him as his relationship with yuujirou advances too

since the relationship was the main focus, i wrote a very simple outline for how it would develop throughout 5 hypothetical chapters that was just: 1. civil w each other but mostly bad > 2. bad > 3. half friends > 4. pining > 5. date

and then with that in mind and the bullet point list, the final basic outline ended up like this:

there were scraped ideas and ideas that made it in later, but i believe having a simple outline, a bare skeleton to add things to, is important. stories need continuity, development requires a prior buildup

it's especially important in multichapter fics where you post as you write, you need to have a more or less clear idea of what's going to happen because you can't ignore scenes you've already posted

shorter stories don't need it as much, you can think as you go, but it's still helpful to know where you're going with things to avoid getting stuck

and, on getting stuck: don't be afraid of deleting things. if you can't figure out how to continue things, then delete the situation and start again. it might feel like you'd be wasting time but in the end, it is so much better than being stuck on the same scene for weeks

in fact, you don't have to write in order. jump to the next scene and you'll figure it out later. you Can write the scene you want to write and then build everything else around it

it's normal to write a scene and then realize it would make more sense later in the story, or that it would be better if you added another scene earlier, or sometimes you just find it easier to jump from one part of the story to another. rely on your outline to keep track of what you've written, what you have left to write and what's the best way to arrange your story. make your story understandable

which bring us to editing

there's a lot of much better posts on editing stories, but yeah ctrl+f is your best friend: don't repeat yourself too much. and be sure to vary sentence and paragraph length, as well as sentence structure, to give dynamism to the writing

now, i've mentioned before the show, don't tell rule, but i'm going to talk a bit more about it because it's quite important

once again there's a lot of posts that explain more in depth what it is, so i'm not going to expand too much on that, but, very basically, try to avoid things like "then some time passed and they became friends". explain it: what happened exactly? how did they become friends? if it's important, show it to us, instead of summarizing

since things like these make the story longer, it also gives room for more development and proper explanation for things that happen

for example, the fic was originally going to start with them already in the room, and the whole situation would have been explained in a single paragraph somewhere, but by actually adding the scene where they first arrive to the dorms and argue with the lady at the main desk, the story flows better and it let me actually describe their first meeting

and uuuhhh i think that's all? this took super long to write i hope i didn't forget any super basic stuff lol

i want to add that for enemies to lovers i greatly recommend this post bc it's super good but yeah i think that's basically it, if you have any more specific questions just shoot me an ask

#god this is so long #how should i tag this #tutorials #i guess #anonymous #preguntas

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mrs-nate-humphrey · 3 years

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I'm the anon that asked about Jenny and Eric originally, and I wanna say that I love everything you said!! I wanted to take a day or so to take it all in and read all the fics (and some of your other works--I'm excited to see what comes next in the Humphreys in Hudson series!)

I 100% agree that Jenny's a lesbian, but I don't think she knew over the course of the show. I think in her time reflecting in Hudson/London she asked herself where this obsession with Blair came from and the answer was a crush (and I bet her thing w/ Nate was comp het, his habit of saving her, and a little of her wanting to be Blair, bc when she met Nate the two were still together.) I think Eric was the first one she told but I don't think it was a big thing as much as they were talking and she (trying to hide how nervous she was) just kinda mentioned it and he picked up an what she was saying a showed support without being pushy, ya know (idk if that made sense)

I liked all the sad/more serious analysis. It's probably really interesting to look at their problems bc they seem like some of the most human throughout the series. There's only so much I can care about Blair's problems with her royal wedding without getting fed with her privilege, but these kids struggling with their mental health and sexualities is just so human. I wonder how their plotlines would've continued if they both stayed on the show. Saying the writers had a plan may be giving them too much credit, but her hubris was so clear that by the Waldorf sleepover episode I had thought that Jenny would either get pregnant or try to take her own life, and if it had been the latter the writers could've explored the parallel with where Eric was in the pilot (it's not like Dan and Jenny saw much of each other in season 3.)

One of the things I wonder about with them is when she told him about the kiss on the lips party. We know that he knew by season 4, but we never see them talk about it. He was pretty close with Chuck early on, did she tell him them? How did Eric talk about Chuck to Jenny (and vice versa) before he knew? Did he ever try to get the three of them to spend time together and she had to shut it down? I don't think this happened in canon, but it would be interesting to explore a scenario where Chuck's the one who told Eric about the party. Like, he feels and act on his guilt, but he's still taking the choice away from her.

I love what you said about them baking together. I like to think Jenny learned it from her mom, so she knows all the little tricks people use, but Eric has a slight case of Rich Kid Incompetence so she's like teaching him all these life skills (which is how I imagine they spent their time in college (idc if the show says he went to Sarah Lawrence he went to London with Jenny.)) I also think a lot of Jenny's sewing skills translate into other areas so she's probably actually the best at baking in the whole group.

I'm sorry this was so long but I have a lot of thoughts about these two

Hi!!! This has been in my inbox for a bit because I wanted to give you a long and thoughtful answer but tbh I ....don't know what to say, other than that I agree with all of this!!

I'm glad you liked the fics (that's very sweet!!). I feel like Jenny did know about being a lesbian but was in deep denial, but I get your headcanon and I think that makes sense for her character too, definitely. I like the idea of her telling Eric first! Coming out usually sucks but I think Jenny would be okay, coming out to Eric - like you said, it wouldn't be a big deal.

I'm glad Jenny left the show for Taylor Momsen's sake, but from a storytelling POV, yeah!!! I think it'd be so interesting if we had a spin-off show that's like. Jenny and Eric in their 20s, in London, being gay and having fun and being chaotic together. They'd share an apartment and it'd be cute slice of life kind of stuff!

I honestly think that Eric and Chuck's dynamic was, uh. Not a great choice on the part of the writers, and it feels weird to me personally analysing it because my only feeling is just "this doesn't make sense for Eric and I don't like it", if that makes sense. I always assumed Eric didn't know about the assault in the pilot, but then in s4, Eric brings it up, which???? incredibly terrible writing choice imo. You're telling me that your step brother assaulted your best friend and you idolised him despite knowing all along? If Eric didn't know, I kind of get his weird dynamic with Chuck. Ugh anyway.

Oh yeah hard agree about Jenny's sewing skills translating elsewhere!! I headcanon her to be great at maths (and specifically geometry) because she's good at patterns.

#anon #thank you for ur ask!! sorry i took so long to get to it #anti chuck #this may not be extremely coherent but im feeling slightly off so #this is the best i can do right now sghfjgllhlhkdh sorry about that

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ninastarkov · 4 years

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Ahsoka and the clones:

Rex and Ahsoka edition

Part 2

Hey guys! This is the third post in a series about Ahsoka’s relationship with the clones (here’s the one on ahsoka and the clones, minus Rex and ahsoka). I talk about what we know in canon/what’s reasonably predicted off that, what the fandom has decided, and my own takes.

It might make more sense to read my part 1 post before this one, for an analysis of their friendship in the movie through season 3! On this one I’ll go through seasons 4, 5 and 7, though obviously season 7 will have the most. Anyway, here we go!

Referencing my last post, I see them as going from mentor-student to friends and equals to family. I’ve established them as equals by the end of season 3–Ahsoka has grown a lot from that snippy 14 year old padawan, and Rex has grown to trust her. By the end of season 7 I see them as found family (i’m sorry found family is just. my favorite.)

Season 4

Ok, Ahsoka and Rex pretty much don’t interact AT ALL in season 4. But...umbara. Though Ahsoka isn’t actually present for umbara, her (and anakin’s) influence on the 501st, and the contrast between them and krell, is clear to see. I think his relationship with Anakin has just as much of an impact with what happened on umbara, but since this post is about Rex and ahsoka i’m not going to focus on Anakin.

Also WOW umbara is long but I like the points I made so get ready:

Rex has spent the whole war under Anakin, and most of it under Ahsoka. Anakin can get angry and Ahsoka can be immature especially early on and they’re both headstrong idiots sometimes, but they’re good people who care deeply for their troops. Krell is everything Anakin and Ahsoka are not. The relationship that Rex has with them is part of what makes it so hard for him to go against Krell (the other, probably bigger part being his conditioning into seeing Jedi as authority figures to always follow). Ahsoka has shown that she’s willing to die for them, with the geonosis mission, and that she mourns their deaths, with ryloth. And while not explicitly shown in canon, most of us agree that she tries to connect with her troops. Krell shares none of these traits that Rex has gotten used to seeing in his Jedi. Rex believes that the Jedi are good, and trusts them to make hard decisions to get to victory. Krell breaks this trust, and I have to think that this would have long-term consequences on his relationships with Jedi in general, and Anakin and ahsoka specifically. We aren’t shown the aftermath of umbara in the show (which is one of my biggest complaints but,, off topic), but we can’t expect such a fundamental break in trust to not have its effect on all of the 501st and their Jedi. I would say that Ahsoka probably had to build up a lot of trust (that had previously existed between them) with Rex again after umbara. And since their relationship in the show doesn’t seem to change much afterward, I could guess that Ahsoka spent a lot of time trying to help Rex and the 501st cope and trust their Jedi again (also, I’ve read some fics about ahsoka helping the troopers through the aftermath of umbara and now I believe that had to have happened for their relationship to return to what it was before).

So, at least in my opinion, after umbara Rex is less likely to place complete trust in ahsoka (though he probably hates that he can’t). Also, remember me talking about them being equals by now? Yeah, another thing Krell breaks. Ahsoka sees Rex as an equal, though technically she outranks him. She looks past the rank and sees the person (the person with more experience than her). Krell is, again, the opposite. He literally sees clones as fundamentally inferior to himself, and that dehumanization that Rex faced had to have had an effect on his own self-worth. Being constantly degraded by a figure that Rex thinks he’s supposed to see as an authority to follow, probably means that afterward his own sense of self-worth would have gone down significantly—nevermind the guilt he feels over waiting to take action against Krell. So, though Ahsoka still sees Rex as an equal, it’s complicated for Rex. For one, he’s lost trust in the Jedi, so the respect towards ahsoka purely because of her Jedi status is diminished. On the other hand, I think his opinion of himself has gone down. It’s a complicated dynamic, now. However, by this point in the war, I really think that Rex and ahsoka see each other as family (I see Ahsoka’s family including Rex and some of the older 501st like Jesse and Kix and anyone can Fight Me On This but ANYWAY). As fellow soldiers or even friends, I think the trust between them would have been permanently damaged. But as family, Rex knows ahsoka, knows that even though he’s lost some faith in the Jedi, she will never be like Krell, or even other Jedi like Quinlan Vos who aren’t literally evil but aren’t good towards the clones either. And on Ahsoka’s side, she’s going to do anything she can to help her family through the aftermath of umbara, even as a Jedi.

I think most of the aftermath is resolved between umbara and Onderon, but zygerria was. there. Rex and obi wan were slaves for an unknown amount of time. This part hurts, but I would guess that in Rex’s time there he was forced to confront some hard truths about the role of the clones in the war. They’re all proud to fight for the republic, but that doesn’t change the fact that they don’t have a choice. I think this also sets the stage for that big conversation between Rex and ahsoka after maul is captured in season 7 (“we clones have mixed feelings about the war”), where they discuss their own feelings about the war and how it’s affected them. (Also I know that most of what I just said is about Rex and not really ahsoka, but his changing viewpoints are really important in their dynamic).

Season 5

By Onderon, I think Rex and Ahsoka’s relationship is mostly back to normal (equals), and any trust lost has been repaired (not counting Rex’s permanent disillusionment(?) with the Jedi). It’s literally only them plus Anakin and obi wan oh the mission, and it seems like they’re having a good time (as much as you can in a war zone). I point out Onderon because it’s the last time they’re together before the Wrong Jedi arc.

And now...the wrong Jedi. Hearing that Ahsoka killed clones during her escape HAD to have shaken Rex. A lot. There was definitely a moment where he thought back to umbara and Krell. But Rex also chased ahsoka outside the prison, and saw that she did nothing to harm the people coming after her—in fact, went out of her way to avoid it. I think Rex was definitely struggling with himself here—his experiences with Krell would have him believe that ahsoka is capable of this, but his bond with her would have him think the opposite. Overall, in my opinion there was a moment when Rex believed it to be true (due to umbara), but I think he would have rejected the idea relatively quickly because he knows ahsoka (they’re FAMILY and she wouldn’t hurt his brothers!).

Then ahsoka is cleared but leaves the Jedi. Leaves the 501st. I don’t think that she talks to Rex or any Jedi after she leaves the temple, which means she’s out of contact for months. Rex gets a second hand account of what happened through Anakin, and knowing anakin’s anger and pain over the situation, I can’t imagine he wanted to talk about it much. So Rex probably gets told that ahsoka was cleared but isn’t coming back. (Honestly I really don’t know how this would go down but i’m leaning towards an angry Anakin giving as little explanation as possible because he doesn’t want to talk about it). Add this to what I talked about in my first post on ahsoka and the clones, how maul gleans from Jesse that the Jedi abandoned her—meaning this was Jesse’s view of what happened—this probably means that her family in the 501st blamed the council for abandoning her and didn’t blame her for leaving. This also fits with the welcome she recieves in season 7. So even though Ahsoka left, Rex still holds the same respect for her (or more, even), and still considers her family. And even though ahsoka felt she had to leave the Jedi, I doubt she ever blamed the troopers for coming after her, so she still sees Rex as family.

Season 7

Skipped season six since...no ahsoka, obviously. Just keep in mind Fives’ arc (😭😭). Also, Anakin changes. He’s still a good person, a good general, but i’m assuming Rex notices he’s more angry and a little more distant than before. They all miss their favorite padawan commander :((

NOW, Old Friends Not Forgotten:

the LOOK on Ahsoka’s face when she sees all the troopers with their helmets painted...*single tear*. Rex looks so happy to see her, and of course ahsoka is glad to see him too, but there’s clearly a large part of her that’s shocked she’s getting such a warm welcome. I think she was worried that the Rex and the troopers would think she abandoned them (and a part of herself thinks that as well). But obviously, Rex doesn’t feel that way (“you don’t have to call me commander anymore” “ok, commander”). And the helmet paint!! You can tell Rex is worried she won’t like it bc he says something like “oh the paint job is a bit messy but we hope we got the point across.” But of course ahsoka understands they’re trying to honor her, and is grateful. AND! Armor painting is such an important way for all the clones to show their individuality, and they gave that up for her (even if Rex and Jesse went back to their original paint). And back to that little moment where he calls her commander—ahsoka says “you don’t have to call me commander anymore.” I think this was her guilt at leaving showing itself, and hints to us that she thinks she’s not worthy of that title. This may be more of a stretch, but she didn’t say “i’m not a commander anymore,” she said “you don’t have to call me commander anymore.” Maybe there’s some larger guilt about her role in a republic that doesn’t care for the ones that fight and die for it. Also a stretch but I think this alludes to the fact that they see each other as equals—though technically ahsoka was a commander and Rex a captain, they were a team. Now that Ahsoka’s no longer part of the GAR, Rex doesn’t have to call her commander, doesn’t have to keep to the strict rules of authority. Instead he can have her back as a friend, as family. And when Rex calls her commander anyway, it shows his continued respect for her, not because he has to respect her as a superior and Jedi, but because she’s earned his respect through her actions.

And MOST IMPORTANTLY, Rex smiles more in this one episode than probably the entire rest of the show combined?!? We get the small happy moments, when Ahsoka doesn’t need a jetpack and races Rex to the ground (and he LAUGHS—i’m pretty sure that the only time Rex has actually laughed was in the movie in response to ahsoka, and in that ep). And once they reach mandalore, “some things never change”—they’ve returned immediately to their old dynamic. Honestly I think that one line sums up a lot of their relationship in season 7 and afterward, all the way to rebels. They may spend a lot of time apart (15 YEARS WHY), but they will always be family—that will never change.

This part is based on a picture from the ep I saw once, never to be found again (and I tried looking through the old friends ep but I can’t find the shot where you can see this), but i’m pretty sure there’s one moment in one of the episodes where you can see tally marks on Ahsoka’s bracers. She HAD to have picked that up from Rex, idk I just thought it was a nice thing to point out (unless I’m remembering the image wrong lol in that case ignore this paragraph).

Next, after Ahsoka meets with the council and doesn’t tell them about what Maul said about Anakin. Rex calls her out on it, and she doesn’t give a reason why she didn’t, but we can all guess. Anakin is probably the person she is closest to, and is the reason that she didn’t believe Maul’s claims. She probably didn’t want to tell anyone about what Maul said, because she would never believe Anakin would fall (😭). But she told Rex. This is a HUGE example of how much she trusts him, because she trusted him with this terrible information about her closest family. The only other person she had planned to talk to was Anakin, obviously. Yes, part of the reason why she didn’t tell the council was because she knew they could be...less than sensible...at times when they suspected a Jedi of using the dark side, like with her farce of a trial. (Sidenote, when Mace calls ahsoka “citizen” and Rex makes a face lol). I just. This is probably one of my favorite moments with them of the whole show? The amount of trust Ahsoka has to have in Rex to tell him that Anakin is being groomed to be a Sith Lord. I want to connect this back to all those years ago on Maridun(?) with aayla and Bly, when she trusts Rex to stay behind with injured Anakin while she goes with everyone else to find help. Ahsoka has trusted Rex with Anakin from basically the beginning, and such a long time of trust is necessary for her to tell him about Maul’s words.

Ok, now we have what you’ve been dreading waiting for...Shattered. Right before the Horrible Moment, Ahsoka gets a sort-of vision about what’s up in coruscant with Anakin and palpatine—and her immediate reaction is to run to Rex to tell him about it. Again, TRUST. There’s not even a second thought about whether to tell him or not, showing that Rex is the one person she feels she can always confide in. Of course, she doesn’t get to tell him.

First off, there were two things that saved ahsoka. One was her bond with Rex, that bought her time to react, which is what I’ll talk about. The other was Rex’s knowledge of what happened to fives and the chips. I’m not going to discuss that much in this post but just disclaimer that I view that as just as important in her survival (I think @gffa made a post on these two things which I wholly agree with and i’m sorry if i’m wrong and it was someone else that made that post!!)

Anyway. After the original Wrinkly Old Man tells Rex to execute the order, Rex is able to fight it for long enough to buy Ahsoka time to prepare, and give her the information that will save both of their lives (“Find him...Fives!”). You can see that he’s fighting so hard against the order, though in the end it wins out. He turns to face Ahsoka and he’s CRYING!!! I don’t have much analysis here because what happens in the show really says it all—ahsoka is his family, he doesn’t want to kill her. But once the chip takes over, Rex is gone.

On Ahsoka’s end, of course she knows something’s up. She knows Rex would never try to kill her, even if he was ordered to. That one line she says to Maul when she sets him free says everything about how lost she is (the clones turned against me. Even Rex.”). The latter statement isn’t meant for maul, since of course he doesn’t know much about Rex or their friendship (besides what he may have gotten from Jesse). This is all ahsoka trying to figure out what the hell was happening—because she could believe the clones turned against her, maybe. After her trial, after Brain Invaders, it’s probably easier to. But even Rex. Going back to what I said about the wrong Jedi arc, I think that Rex believed ahsoka to be innocent. Even in that arc, Rex was on her side. But this time, he wasn’t.

And then ahsoka finds out about fives and the chips. The holo of her that one of the droids plays to Rex before they knock him out makes me so sad. Ahsoka had to know that the Rex that was under the order wouldn’t listen to what she was saying in the holo, so i’m thinking that (besides a distraction) her words were meant for Rex to remember after the removed his chip—one more reassurance that it wasn’t his fault.

And here’s my thoughts on the chanting “I am one with the force and the force is with me,” as they try to find the chip in Rex’s head. Ahsoka had to have created some kind of connection between them for him to be saying these words with her—while unconscious AND still under the order. I know next to nothing about force bonds and the technical stuff, but it seems that a likely explanation for the chanting together is that some kind of connection was created between them in the force. Into the world of wild speculation, this could mean that Rex is more force sensitive than the average guy? Even if it was a temporary connection, it would make sense that Rex would have to feel the force somehow in order to connect with ahsoka to say the mantra. (Not sure I actually believe this but...putting it out there)

Once his chip gets removed and Ahsoka asks if he’s okay, Rex calls her “kid” again. I point this out because it’s definitely been a while since he’s called her anything but commander—probably out of a place of respect. But his first instinct after the chip is out is to call her “kid.” This was partially for reassurance that he’s back, because a Rex still affected by the chip wouldn’t call her kid. I also want to say though, that his first instinct is to call her kid, not commander, because he sees her as family first. And then when he has to tell her that every single clone is chipped, he calls her ahsoka (I think for the first time ever??). They’re far, far beyond their normal roles as captain and commander, and this reflects that. I also wonder if Rex realizes that ahsoka would hate to be called commander right now, after being forced to hurt the troops she has always tried to protect.

Aaaaand then they try to escape only to find the hangar filled with all the troopers, Jesse leading them. Ouch. Rex cries AGAIN (can any of us handle it? no.). He tells ahsoka that all of the clones, his brothers, only care about killing them—they don’t care if they die trying. Rex sounds so angry in this moment and for a second ahsoka looks surprised, but then she realizes how Rex is feeling and they have a Sad Moment when she takes his helmet off. There’s a moment when he visibly deflates as ahsoka seems to realize what he’s really feeling. And yeah, he turns away once his helmet is off, but he let her take his helmet off and see him cry. I feel like Rex has always been the person that’s strong for others, and doesn’t like to show his own vulnerability. Throughout the show he’s always been a steadying presence for others, whether it’s with ahsoka or fives or someone else. Even on umbara, he doesn’t let himself fall apart. But he lets ahsoka see that here. In his relationships with others, Rex almost always has to be the authority, the one who keeps calm in the face of everything. But with him and ahsoka, they can be equals—they can show their uncertainty and sadness. The only other person we see Rex really be honest with like this is Cody, in the bad batch arc when Rex talks about how he’s watched so many brothers die, and Cody says “it’s hard being the one that survives.” Cody and Ahsoka are the only people that have seen this side of Rex, because he trusts them more than anyone, and feels he doesn’t always have to be strong in front of them.

Then ahsoka says “you’re a good soldier, Rex.” I can’t NOT connect this to “good soldiers follow orders,” and Fives’ death. I don’t think ahsoka knows all about the “good soldiers follow orders,” but she knows Rex. She knows that Rex has always tried to be the good soldier, has been taught that following orders is everything, but has also grown so much over the course of the war (from meeting Cut to going through umbara to watching fives die). He’s grown into a person that realizes sometimes he has to make his own decisions, even if that doesn’t fit with the orders he’s been given. She gives him the reassurance that, despite everything, he’s still the person that he wants to be. Ahsoka sees through the anger he puts up, because of course he doesn’t want to kill his brothers, but it isn’t them anymore and what else are they supposed to do?

Once they are forced to fight the rest of the troopers in the hangar, it’s obvious that ahsoka and Rex work well together. Not much to say specifically, but the teamwork? the coordination? we love to see it (but also hate to see it bc o u c h).

Now we get back to trust (it always comes back to trust). Once they find the y-wing to escape on, Rex tells ahsoka to “get me over there” and just. Runs and jumps into thin air? Of course ahsoka gives him a boost with the force and he gets on the y-wing, but we know that Rex doesn’t like heights. It’s been a running joke through the show for other people to throw Rex in the air (geonosis? bad batch MULTIPLE TIMES lol), but it’s always without him asking and he Does Not Appreciate. This time he TELLS ahsoka to throw him over there and doesn’t even hesitate to jump. If Ahsoka hadn’t caught him he would have fallen to his death, and yet he trusts her so much that he does it anyway. He doesn’t even wait for a response from her after he tells her to throw him over there! Now, I don’t know if Rex is actually scared of heights or not, but if he is then this shows even more trust between them. He trusts her with his life completely, and probably vice versa.

And now we get to the end. Ahsoka and Rex buried all of the troopers they could find, because they’re family and it wasn’t their fault and they deserved better and agshdkjskjdh. At this point, they don’t know what’s happened in the rest of the galaxy, but Ahsoka’s felt the death in the force and they probably fear the worst. They are the only family they have left. We end with them about to get on the y wing and probably go to figure out what’s happened. Ahsoka stands at the graves and Rex sees her from beside the ship. There are no words, but they are united by the family they’ve lost.

Personally I find it really hard to believe they would have separated right after that, and i’m not sure what’s canon anymore with the ahsoka novel and when it starts, but whatever. Fitting (ish) with the ahsoka novel, they eventually realized that it wasn’t safe for either of them to stay together and had to say goodbye. I like a headcanon by someone on here (just lmk who you are and I’ll tag!!) about how ahsoka and Rex eventually find Wolffe and Gregor, but wolffe is badly affected by Ahsoka’s presence and so she makes the decision to leave. No matter what actually happened though, they stayed family, even apart. When they meet again in Rebels it’s so sweet!! They’ve both come so far from who they were at the start of the Clone Wars. In the beginning, Ahsoka saw Rex as a sort of mentor and quickly gained a lot of respect for him. Rex, in turn, was at first unsure about ahsoka but changed his mind fast. Ahsoka grows into the best Commander she can be by the end of season 3, and by this point they each see each other as equals. Though Ahsoka is commander and Rex captain, she respects his experience and cares about him as a friend, and maybe even family. By seasons 4 and 5 they see each other as family, after Ahsoka was there in the aftermath of umbara and Rex trusted her in the wrong Jedi. Even though ahsoka left, she never blamed the troopers for what she went through. And when she returns in season 7 she sees all of her family again, just for a moment, until it all comes crashing down and she and Rex are all each other has left. Over the three years of the war, Ahsoka and Rex was one of the friendships that wasn’t broken by betrayal or breach in trust. They had each other’s backs and grew to trust each other with their lives, and that didn’t change even after the war ended.

WOW that was long—I got carried away and went a lot into their individual characterization as well. Sorry if the conclusion was a bit dramatic, I wanted to wrap it up meaningfully. Let me know what you like and agree/disagree with, and hope you found this interesting!

#star wars the clone wars #the clone wars #clone wars #tcw #tcw season 7 #tcw s7 #ahsoka tano #captain rex #tcw finale #sw meta #tcw meta #this was very very long wow #sorry it took me a while #so many words #ahsoka and the clones #long post #my meta

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audspods · 3 years

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my girl

hi so this is my first time doing this but i want to try talking abt movies. idk here’s a lil introduction to this. ok so ig i’ve always been a movie person, like i like them but i’ve never rly got into the nitty gritty w them. but sometimes i do find myself looking up analysis’ of the movies once i finish them. but that only started recently. ok so here’s the deal w this post. there’s 3-4 parts. first part is the introduction (this is the introduction), then we have the when i watched it (i know this seems rly silly but i think it’s important on the atmosphere and shit when watching a movie), then the what i rly think abt it section, and finally a section called audrey trying to be johnny 2 cellos. this one will b abt 4 because this intro is kinda explaining how i’m going to be doing this sort of thing so let’s get started ig? IDK HOW TO START THIS I’M LITERALLY 14 YEAR OLD GIRL WHO’S BORED. oh i’m gonna rate the movie on a scale from 1-10, 1 being wtf this is not cute and 10 being cute cute cute. 5 is like oh cute? its confusing i feel like i need to draw some sort of diagram :/

intro:

ok so my girl is abt this girl (wow nice one audrey!) who lives with her dad in a mortuary. this girls name is vada and her mother died giving birth to her. i lowkey forgot some stuff from this movie but that’s fine ig bc it’s been abt a year since i’ve seen it. basically vada is this tomboy and she doesn’t get along w everyone until she meets this boy. btw they r in elementary school. so she’s freinds w this boy named thomas and he wears glasses. the actor is the kid who was in home alone. anyways shit happens some girl comes in and becomes like her step mom ig. but lets get into what actually happened. so one day vada and thomas r playing in the woods and vada is wearing this ring but she loses it. she realizes she lost it after they were done playing in the woods but after thomas went back to get it. as he was looking for the ring he bumped into a bees nest and a shit load of bees stung him AND MANS WAS ALLERGIC TO BEES. so his glasses fell underneath the leaves and he died. so sad omg. and so they held a funeral for him and vada was obviously sad abt this but when she went to look in the casket she saw he wasn’t wearing his glasses. this is where the famous line “he can’t see without his glasses” comes from. this scene hurt so much my lawd. eventually time goes on and she never forgets him but that’s basically my girl.

how audrey watched this movie:

okay so i think it was summer. I can’t remember i just remember this day being very grey and bright. so it must’ve been summer. anyways i had a shit load of laundry to do so i thought i would put on a movie. as i’m scrolling through netflix i see my girl and it’s one of those movies that u always hear abt so i thought i would watch it. i thought it was going to be some cute cheesey rom-com abt childhood friends but oh boy was i wrong. the movie was on in the background as i was folding my clothes but i do remember knowing what was going on the whole time. i remember wearing this headband that made my forehead huge but i didn’t realize that until i looked in the mirror to see my crying face lols. when the scene of thomas in the casket came up i was sobbing. i mean i was not expecting that at all and i was not ready . i rly thought it was gonna b a cute kids movie. i was so shocked that during and after that scene i could not move. i sat over all my clothes and just cried all over them. literally so embarrassing but it was so sad. LIKE Y WOULD U MAKE A CHILD DIE HELLO? i mean shit happens but whatever. this movie will alwyas be memorable to me bc i literally was not expecting to cry and i literally sobbed like a baby. i’m so glad no one was home to see me cry like that oh my goodness.

audrey tries to b johnny2cellos:

if u don’t who johnny2cellos is pls check out his yt channel. i think he does a great good in going deep into movies and tv shows. well idk if i should say movies i’ve only watched bojack related vids from him. but from what i’ve seen and heard i think he does a rly good job. anyways let me jump into my lame ass analysis. this isn’t going to be good bc i havent seen this movie in a long time. but i think the movie did a rly good job capturing losing a loved one from such a young age. the innocence and immaturity of vada shown throughout the movie and during thomas’ funeral. i’m not good at this lmao. but i havent seen this movie in a long time so im not surprised that this is bad lols. anyways that’s it bc i have no idea what to say and i want to talk abt a different movie bc i lowkey forgot everything about this movie.

final thoughts:

this movie is meh. it gets a 6.5/10 from me, so it’s like a ok cute? idk if that makes sense lols. anyways it’s a good tear jerker but honestly it seemed a bit rushed, but at the same time i sorta like that bc that’s what going through childhood is like. everything goes by super fast and soon enough, something happens that makes you stop and realize the shit that’s going on around you. that’s it for now i’m gonna do my life as zucchini next. PEACE OUT!!

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