#so i'm pretty sure i don't make sense

[inkskinned]

one of the things about being an educator is that you hear what parents want their kids to be able to do a lot. they want their kid to be an astronaut or a ballerina or a politician. they want them to get off that damn phone. be better about socializing. stop spending so much time indoors. learn to control their own temper. to just "fucking listen", which means to be obedient.

one of the things i learned in my pedagogy classes is that it's almost always easier to roleplay how you want someone to act. it's almost always easier to explain why a rule exists, rather than simply setting the rule and demanding adherence.

i want my kids to be kind. i want them to ask me what book they should read next, and i want to read that book with them so we can discuss it. i want my kid to be able to tell me hey that hurt my feelings without worrying i'll punish them. i want my kid to be proud of small things and come running up to me to tell me about them. i want them to say "nah, i get why this rule exists, but i get to hate it" and know that i don't need them to be grateful-for-the-roof-overhead while washing the dishes. i want them to teach me things. i want them to say - this isn't safe. i'm calling my mom and getting out of this. i want them to hear me apologize when i do fuck up; and i want them to want to come home.

the other day a parent was telling me she didn't understand why her kid "just got so angry." this woman had flown off the handle at me.

my dad - traditional catholic that he is - resents my sentiment of "gentle parenting". he says they'll grow up spoiled, horrible, pretentious. granola, he spits.

i am going to be kind to them. i am going to set the example, i think. and whatever they choose become in the meantime - i'm going to love them for it.

#writeblr #i was doing a lot with high school students. over and over again #other teachers kept asking me what i was doing differently - why the kids listened to me. i am not particularly foreboding #and i have a pretty firm personal policy of never reacting in anger #godhelpme. #i was always kind of taken aback #because in general the kids were pretty easy. i explained i needed to keep everything “PG-13” because this was my workplace #and it was kind of their workplace #too. besides #i love swearing #and since i couldn't swear #neither could they - so if they were going to say “fuck” or become violent #they needed to choose a really specific time #because we only get “the one”.. sure enough - nobody wanted to waste the one very specific “fuck” utterance. kids listened. #i think just because - that rule makes sense. the kids understand that i don't want to be unfair to them #that censorship is stupid #but that i'm under these rules too so like let's ride it out together #also i look young and tbh between me and u nobody wants to make the nice english teacher cry #the way these kids defended me to their friends was really genuinely so heartwarming bc the Grouchy Frat Boy #would be like MISS RAQUEL DOESN'T DESERVE THAT KIND OF AN ATTITUDE BRO DON'T TALK BACK TO HER

[sysig]

Recently had a silly Handplates dream where Papyrus was trying to snoop around Gaster and Alphys’ lab, but didn’t know who Alphys was and so was trying to pass it off as his own lab lol (Patreon)

#Doodles #Dream log #UT #Handplates #Papyrus #Gaster #Sans #Alphys #And also he was Big Brother Papyrus to a babybones Sans lol #I doodled them as close to the dream as possible so if it's silly or doesn't make sense take it up with my subconscious lol #I remember Gaster had a reputation for being very charming and charismatic which ?? Sure okay lol #He was also quite smiley - personally I read that as him putting on a face to the public but even that seems out of character for him lol #Everyone else was pretty much as usual - Alphys small and nervous and Papyrus loud and bombastic #I don't remember what exactly he was looking for - doubly weird 'cause I hadn't reread him and Sans exploring yet! :0 #Just of them moving into their house - though I did read a bunch just before sleeping so safe to say I can attribute that lol #This was the only really clear part of the dream - the rest was just scrolling scrolling scrolling pages and pages of comic panels #Can't imagine why lol #Also intercut with some of the poses I ended up doodling before - surprise! They were dream doodles lol #Also in case it's not clear - Alphys was Very Much Present while Papyrus was trying to pass himself off as the name on the door lol #Oh yeah I'm pretty sure he was also speaking in WingDings thus why Alphys didn't immediately call him out lol #The room was quite cute actually - not at all the sterile grey of the True Lab #Warm and wooden with high windows nearly covered in clutter and paperwork with a desk in the middle lit by yellow light #Cozy #Barely evil-looking at all

[pink-flame]

You're my neck of the, neck of the woods Leave you, babe, I never could Ginger and gestures of goodwill go forth, let go Of sorrow and sadness and spite I'm somebody taller tonight

Neck of the Woods - Maisie Peters

#juke #jatp #julie and the phantoms #my gifs #my edit #jatp edit #maisie peters #neck of the woods #new jatp gifs in 2024 #why not #don't tell me how to ghost #you guys have no idea #I had this idea a full two years ago and could not figure out how to do it #and even now I'm pretty sure I did this the hardest way possible but still #I don't have photoshop ok #I'm a video editor scraping buy with the skills I can carry over and making gifs in final cut pro with the occasional assist from canva #annnnnnyway #I know they're. not perfect but I'm so proud of them #also I want to make like three more sets for Juke with this song because ALL the lyrics fit them so well #but I just loved the idea of all the shared memories they have in that house #they're home for each other in both a literal and metaphorical sense #and that makes me unhinged #so here you go

[marivenah]

ok because I'm a sucker for this and really curious. if one character of your ship was to die and the surviving character wanted revenge, which one of them would be scarier on their quest for revenge?

#the angst feelings are hitting me lately #don't really want to be part of other's conversations so turning off rb now #was fun tho #i hope this makes sense this is so difficult to explain esp since eng isn't my first language lmao #not to be a poll poster begging for reblogs but i'm curious 😩 #x: to your deepest low #for them it'd definitely be maul. i mean the guy holds grudges for several decades so 🤡 #shireen is naturally scary but not really the person to want revenge #she's more of a person who sucks at letting go but that's essentially it #x: your soul is golden #aroa on the other hand would go on a rampage. sunshine girl turns into a supernova or something etc etc #pretty sure cayde is a petty bastard but aroa is just scarier

[starsundertheceiling]

I’m probably a little late to the party (heh) but there’s something I’ve noticed concerning color theory and Max, and Max in general

When she is introduced to us as MADMAX, her situation with Billy makes her feel lonely and angry. She’s wearing red clothes (with a white stripe!) and her hair is down (letting her rage roam free).

In here, she’s clearly annoyed. She’s just left Billy’s car, Mr. Clarke made her stand before the class and named her Maxine when she just wanted to melt into the background and get over her first day at an unfamiliar school, still not thrilled about having to move from California.

Still, she’s zipped down, since those people didn’t do anything especially hurtful towards her and maybe she’s a little hopeful about them. 

When she’s mad after an interaction with Billy she’s wearing red:

Darker red! She’s at school where she won’t have to deal with Billy for a while. She’s cooling like lava but there’s still one streak of the anger in the back of her head.

When the boys approach her, her zip-up sweatshirt is unzipped to show some of the color underneath. She’s happy! She will not let her guard down completely but she won’t hiss at them immediately! Still, she’s ready for disappointment and snapping right back to being fully red.

Yellow is not a lighter shade of red, but it’s definitely close on the color wheel. Closer to white, too! She is showing she’s not only mad, there also is softness inside her! It’s still a shade connected to red (anger) but yellow by itself is more of a happiness color. She wants to make friends but is still scared because of the new environment and Billy.

In the car with Billy (the scene where he wants to run over the party), the entire scene is shot in a way that’s barely letting us see her clothes. It’s mostly covered by hair, too, but we can see it’s still at least a little unzipped as there’s a bit of the yellow collar visible.

In the scene, she’s defending Hawkins saying, that it’s not that bad and that she can’t see any cows (yellow). She’s scared of Billy, so she’s trying to cover up her sympathy towards Hawkins and towards the boys (with red and her hair, Billy saw her get out of the car with the sweatshirt zipped up and hair down, now she’s covering her softness with what is familiar to Billy, so that he doesn’t see anything has changed, notice that softness and hurt her. That’s exactly what she does when she says she doesn’t know the boys trying to protect them from getting ran over).

Yellow! Fully yellow :) She’s happy to be shown weird pollywog-like creatures with the rest of the Party!

Right after Will gets possessed, her question as to what “true sight” means gets brushed off by all of the boys. She’s hurt and feels excluded, but her hurt makes her angry again. Next time we see her, she’s all red again.

“Party members only! This is non-negotiable.”

“I thought you guys wanted me in your Party!”

At the arcade! She’s already acclimated to Hawkins, and the arcade is her favorite place. 

Alright, I’m getting tired and my third eye is slowly closing, so I’m going to wrap this up quickly, since I think I presented what the gist of the idea is.

In season 3, yellow, patterns, colors! She is now fully a member of the party! She has friends, she knows the secrets, El is back. This is the happiest she’s been.

Clothes are important in both of the girl’s characters! (El changes from murky colors to vivid patterns when she finds herself and there’s a post about El shedding layers of blue in season 4. I’d link it but can’t find it, I’m sorry!) There being a scene like this, with them fooling around with their clothes is basically the peak of happiness :)

Here Max gets really worried because of Billy. She’s feeling a bit guilty ‘cause that’s her step-brother that’s sowing chaos and hurting her friends. El is straining herself. The situation is looking BAD. Blue!

Beginning of season 4

Blue - she’s grieving and feeling guilty, Black coat - she’s hiding herself in a shell. She’s not particularly hiding her grief but she can close off at any moment.

(Btw Lucas is also wearing a blue shirt with some coats. I’d say he is sad because Max dumped him and doesn’t want to tell him things but the coats have a couple of colors because he’s hiding away his nerdiness in order to be cool :) 

Now, the overcoat is blue with yellow elements - Max is being honest about her grief. She’s targeted by Vecna, the Hawkins gang knows she is SAD. It’s her last day, she can unfurl. The sweatshirt is unzipped and showing red and white underneath, the same colors we’ve seen her wear when we first met her. The girl that slammed the door of Billy’s car. The one that was scared of him. That girl is still inside Max. 

Sometimes, she’s wearing this. Grief covered up with brownish-reddish... Red. She’s going back to her previous self, she is talking to Lucas again and he SEES her... But to get that shade of red you go more towards black on the color wheel. She’s not that vivid, fiery red anymore. There are bits of that girl deep inside her, but she’s too tired to make it her entire self. She’s tired. 

#idk if this makes sense #i did not do research befor this i literally got this idea while changing clothes #and it works for the most part #maybe a bit delusional here and there #but i choose to choose being chill and just in awe of the costume department #i am also pretty sure you beautiful people have decoded this long ago #since the color theory makes a big part of the show #either way i love max #if she doesn't wear the prettiest colors in s5 then why should i live to see it #i hope SHE will be able to see it though #although blind max is beautiful; she doesn't deserve it :( #max mayfield #stranger things #lumax #elumax #elmax #not really color theory because i don't know the color theory :) literally just vibes #aaand i'm not gonna reread what i've written cuz i'm tired. hope it makes any sense. #but you're smart too so you can probably get the gist of what i was trying to say

[acheronist]

original seaman's papers scan i found -> zoom in on the description info -> after i stared at it for hours trying to read the incredibly faded + loopy script.

@bridglars 🤝 insane people alert

#which i think he would have been 36 in 1848. so i presume this paper is probably from when he first enlisted or joined up or whatever #and he was just keeping all his official papers folded together in his wallet forever so he didnt lose anything #also for the record i'm pretty sure 'sallow' isn't correct but i don't know enough about which terms to describe complexion were popular #amongst circa 1820s british navy papers #like what fucking adjectives they would have been using etc etc #so if anyones more familiar w that feel free to lmk your thoughts i guess #but if he was pale and exhausted (as white british victorian dudes generally tended to be) then 'sallow' makes sense to me at least #but the W also looks like it could be a G #like complexion: Sall_gh_ #but idk what the fuck word that could be #'sallough'

[andromeda3116]

rereading order of the stick (again), and greyiew is only in a few comics so far but man do i love this nihilistic wolf

#order of the stick #yes i know it hasn't been terribly long since i last reread it but #i've been desperately trying to get my dnd group to read it and i just had to go back and go through it again #and again. the first 250 strips or so are pretty cringey and there's aspects even later that make me wince #but fuck once you get to the soul splice arc you've read the last bad oots comic #''utterly dwarfed'' is fucking *incredible* #i am both incredibly ready and incredibly not ready for the climax #i bet durkon will live and i'm sure haley elan and roy will #o-chul i'm leaning ''survives'' and lien i think will make it #minrah will probably make it. i bet serini is doomed. #belkar is obviously doomed #i'm 100% on the fence about v #like straight-up 50/50 both ''live'' and ''die'' serve strong narrative purposes #but as to how it all plays out? #v still owes the fiends 23 minutes meaning the order can't rely on them to back them up in the clutch #so on the one hand it would make the most sense for them to hit as hard and fast as possible #but on the other - if the fiends *don't* call in the debt for their own purposes #they will have burned out their most powerful member too soon #burlew is too clever and too good a writer for a traditional battle scene as the climax #more is going to happen. *something* massive is going to shift #serini turns? redcloak turns on xykon and gets eaten by the mitd? #i can't tell! i'm going to flip tf out whenever it does happen though #hnggh this has been 20 years in the making and the climaxes have not failed a single note yet #burlew is goddamned *good* at rising action and nailing the climax of a story arc #it's gonna be fucking incredible ugh

[coldercreation]

PSA: 

If you have related to how I have described Nathan’s struggles with his mental health and some experiences with life; emotional, physical and social etc (ignore the story/his fam background for this; I mean if you have been able to relate to his feelings/anxiety/negative physical sensations etc.)

Might be worth it to get your blood checked. 

Especially B12, Vitamin D, Iron levels and Ferritin (ferritin should be 100+).

Building on top of the character, character background, and my research into trauma / mental health etc, I have always used a lot of my personal experience when describing emotions, feelings, and how mental health issues can feel like or present. It’s my attempt to make the writing feel realistic, had I experienced the things in the story or not. Aka even if the story was high fantasy and thus not realistic, I’d source my own feelings to make it ‘real’.

So. Regardless of what's causing it in the story: If you have ever related to how Nathan FEELS or describes his experience with the world and his brain… (Anxiety, depression, chronic fatigue, feeling like an outsider/in a fishbowl, easily overwhelmed or over tired; social withdrawal, social anxiety, heart palpitations, chest pains, breathlessness, dissociation, irritability, issues with cognitive function; memory, overthinking, insomnia, brain fog, panic attacks, slow recovery from physical activity, etc etc et fucking c) 

Turns out bish has been chronically deficient of many things for a very long time due to stomach issues that stopped nutrients from absorbing. Antidepressants have never successfully worked for me, and it’s now looking like that’s because my mental health stuff could've largely been a physical symptom, instead of just purely mental health?? 

I have been on a pile of supplements for a bit now and uhh… It’s like night and day? Even with the other health stuff I've been getting treated for, it's been... So much better?? Like. Life changing amount of difference?? And I’m only just starting out fixing these deficiencies, which could take a long time. But...

Holy shit, “Better” might actually be a real thing after all?? There was a reason I've been so "stuck"???

Kind of mad… And sad. Because if this is true and I keep feeling like I have been recently, it means I’ve lost a lot of time to this. I try to focus on how good I’ve been feeling though, and stay curious for this journey of what literally feels like a second chance at life.

Just… Wanted to post this in case it could help someone else. This is a highly personal experience, mental health issues absolutely exist on their own too and there's possibly often overlap as well. But stuff like this can make existing mental health conditions worse too, so either way it’s worth checking. 

Yeah. So.

Happy new year?

From someone who might be pulling a whole Phoenix moment???? xx

#Apologies for the silence here #Been going through a lot if you can imagine lol #I have a bunch of asks and messages to catch up to #I'm so sorry for taking forever #It might take me a bit longer still but I promise I'll get back on here at some point hopefully soon #Your messages mean so much to me<3 #Take care everyone <3 #Also #the description of Nathan's experience could and would still be rather accurate #even if you don't have these physical health issues!! #Depression and anxiety etc from a deficiency is still depression and anxiety #+ when I write Nathan I have a set of mental health “maps” or “guides” for his character (like C-PTSD and CEN and OCD) #Yes I use my own feelings and experiences to describe his anxiety etc #But his character is built around specific mental health markers / trauma research / symptoms etc (like C-PTSD and CEN and OCD) #So I'm pretty sure Nathan's POV would still look very similar based on just that research and ignoring the stuff in this post #Hope this all makes sense :'o

[fluffs-n-stuffs]

"For a self-proclaimed researcher... I thought you'd know by now that Psychic-types are weak against Ghost." "Morty-ehehe! B-But I'm nohohot a type specialist!" "Maybe should've thought of that first before deciding to wake me up so early."

A spiritual successor to this lil doodle of mine 🫣💖💕

#sacredshipping #morty x eusine #morty/eusine #gym leader morty #morty pokemon #eusine #mystery man eusine #eusine pokemon #pokemon tickle #'tis the season to be giggly or however that song goes askjdasnd////////////////// #pretty much a self-indulgent treat for myself this holiday season SDKJFSNKDFNS it's been real quiet this time 'round #I honestly don't usually look forward to christmas anyways since I have some bad memories tied to it :'D though it has been exceptionally-- #--all over the place this year; partly on the busyness and errands being run on my household's side-- #--though mainly on my own headspace and how I haven't.............. been great- these past few months #December in particular has been a time of reflection for me and it's just--been a lot - to grapple with #I needed to distance myself from things to try to make sense of myself---and still - I'm not quite sure where to go from here just yet #but I'll figure it out - one day. I finally do have a schedule with that new psychologist so that's something to look forward to #and I'm trying to get my bearings where I am now so--that's at least something to be grateful for I feel ❤️ #got a bit sad there so I deserve to draw my sillies being tickly as a gift for myself yes yes akjsdajsknd #I've always wanted to draw a lee!Eusine ever since he's been implanted in my mind graaaaaaAAAHHHHHHHHHH /affectionate #let them be soft and sweet and domestic and silly with each other it's what they deserve 🫵🫵🫵

[yuriyuruandyuraart]

it's night time<333 (with a lil sibling bonding bonus: >;Dc)

studio au belongs to @zu-is-here fem designs are made by me

#art #illustration #my art #studio au #utmv #nightmare sans #dream sans #nightmare #dream #fem!nightmare #fem!dream #man i am sO happy with how this turned out istg #every struggle i faced with the lineart was WORTH IT for the end result >:'D man i think this is my favorite drawing of the year so far- #bless the pencil tool in sai for not making the lack of pen pressure look obvious/pixelated i am so lucky hhh xD #i really wanna make everyone's studio au design more distinguishable/unique and different from each other #so as a lil heads up their hairstyles/faces/body shape will probably go through more changes before i settle on something final! #and even then they can and will change hair (by dying and or by cutting it)- and obviously different styles of clothing #because you can't convince me these popular rich actors don't have some sort of style/sense of fashion it's just. nah xDc #also night wearing suits/classy clothing supremacy<333 dream's summer look is by far my fav but nights autumn one?? regal. perfect<3 #i hope you guys liked these drawings!! i'm pretty sure i can't recreate them if i tried tho hh xD

[idontwanttospoiltheparty]

"I remember a time when everyone I loved hated me because I hated them. So what, so what, so fucking what. I remember a time when belly buttons were knee high When only shitting was dirty and everything else clean and beautiful. I can't remember anything without a sadness so deep that it hardly becomes known to me. so deep that its tears leave me a spectator of my own STUPIDITY And so I go rambling on with a hey nonny nonny no. How long can one go on writing and writing like you. I now don't really know who I'm writing to or why its quiet [sic] peculiar. I usually write like this and forget about it, but if I post it it's like a little part of my almost secret self in the hands of someone miles away who will wonder what the hell is going on or just pass it off as toilet paper. Anyway I don't care really what happens because when I think about it, its so bloody unimportant – but what is important, who has the right to say that this letter is not important and Jesus is a something anyway – in any way – anyway – Yeah! I wonder what it would be like to be a cretin or something. I bet its great. Er how are you keeping, Stuart old chap. Are you OK – is life good – bad, shite, great – wonderful as it was or is it just a thousand years of nothing, and coalmen on and on and on. I think this is it Goodbye Stu don't write out of – er, what's it? Well, not because you think you ought to. Write when you feel like. So goodbye (from John. You know, the one with glasses) ANYWAY BYE BYE See you soon. I don't know why I said that."

– An unsent letter from John Lennon for Stuart Sutcliffe (1961)

#i couldnt find the entire letter in a post so here it is because i need to go insane quickly #1) his thing where he emulates people he loves & he literally admits to it here but gives up because Stu's writing style tires him out :( #2) “my almost secret self” and that entire bit about sending off a bit of himself into the world is SO REAL #(I really think Stu becoming his pen pal he never had to see allowed John to let his guard down in a way he couldn't with people IRL #in the same way it can be easier to open up online nowadays) #3) “You know the one with glasses” I LOVE HIM!!!!!!!!! #4) the jokey deflection from his genuine sadness when he calls Stu “old chap” #5) spiralling through his own thoughts and ending with “– Yeah!” hes a tumblrina fr #6) it makes my heart ache that I'm pretty sure the phrase he was looking for was “a sense of obligation” and I wanna tell him :( #7) the “See you soon. I don't know why I said that.” is haunting when I'm pretty sure he never saw Stu again. #ref #john #fiona.docx #61 #sjw

[ereborne]

Song of the Day: March 27

"Long Time Gone" by The Chicks

#song of the day #I'm still thinking about the Country Songs About Country Songs #this is actually a cover too though I never hear the original around anywhere #(it's by Darrell Scott who is also the originator for 'You'll Never Leave Harlan Alive' #turns out he's got a bunch of songs that got picked up and made somewhat more popular in the hands of other folks. an interesting legacy) #the best lines of this song to sing are also the bits About Country Music--well the whole song's about chasing the love of it #but this bit is bemoaning the kids these days you know. country music isn't what it used to be. why back in my day etc etc #it's so so so much fun to sing too because you get to exaggerate your 'I think's until they rhyme with 'Hank'. excellent work #'we listen to the radio to hear what's cookin / but the music ain't got no soul #now they sound tired but they don't sound Haggard / they got money but they don't have Cash #they got Junior but they don't have Hank / I think I think I think / the rest is a long time gone' #it's fascinating to me to think about these songs in (saying 'historical' here is giving me psychic damage but) historical context #because the Darrell Scott original for Long Time Gone came out in 2000 and The Chicks released their version in 2002 #so they were talking about the trend towards American jingoism in country music of the time #versus like Waylon Jennings in 1975 'Are You Sure Hank Done It This Way' #(I typed that and /then/ went back and looked up the release date and I'm so proud I got it right) #already bemoaning the state of country music in the 70s versus good old classic country like Hank Williams Senior sang #(Hank Jr covered Waylon's song in 1981. like yes it's a tribute to his father but also Hank Jr was a big push towards outlaw country #and has a few pretty famous songs himself about not singing like his daddy did. it just seems a strange choice to me) #and then Eric Church put out 'Lotta Boot Left to Fill' in 2009 calling out the shallowness of the country music scene of the time #(talking some only-thinly-veiled shit about a few of his peers in the process) #and then he released 'Stick That In Your Country Song' in 2021 and that /definitely/ put some backs up #that one's a less directed but more direct call-out if that makes any sense #no lines that are direct references to other artists' songs but stronger sentiments overall #not just general 'y'all are getting shallow prioritizing good times and high sales over genuine heart and integrity of craft' #but some straight up 'you have forgotten the face of your father' shit towards country artists and fans alike. the whole industry #a very good righteous-anger song

[brittlebutch]

The 'Enjoying watch you suffer' line in Broadcast has always been hard to pin down; Tim's leg getting broken is the biggest incident in Entry #35, so it's natural to want to tie the two together, but it seems to fit so indelicately into what we know about the timeline of totheark's internal relationship that it almost causes more problems than it resolves. However, even though it's very blink and miss it, Tim does actually manage to stab Alex in the arm before he gets knocked down -- we hear Alex cry out in pain, can see blood on the blade when Jay picks it up, and then in the recovered corrupted footage from that tape that Jay posts as Entry #36 Alex says "I did what I had to... he'd just stabbed me" -- and that injury being what totheark was trying to call attention to, to me, reads a lot more clear and consistent than anything else does

#N posts stuff #marble hornets #it's so hard to figure out lol bc Tim's leg is The Thing so it feels like they should be linked but like it just doesn't seem to flow #and the timeline of s2 is so mangled by the mix mash and retreading ground of all the tapes #ie; Present!Jay uploading Past!Jay's (and Past!Alex's) tapes and commenting on them while Present!TTA responds to both #that it's hard to figure out if TTA is still working together in that Present!Time or if it's Only in the old tapes and they fell out like #Immediately after Jay got the code for the safe from them - which is Possible? We do know that Tim and Brian separated #like Right after they'd managed to separate Jay and Jess but IDK if that separation would account for the kind of anger implied in #the sentiment 'enjoying watching you suffer' you know? And Jay doesn't get Tim's medical records until s3 - which we KNOW #is the Final Death Knell in TTA's relationship and i don't think Brian would have sat on those for so long so i feel like he hadn't #found them by this point in s2 - that must have come later. so That makes this line feel so out of place in their relationship #BUT if Brian is paying more attention to Alex than Tim at this point then it makes A Lot more sense if it's directed at him #and since the creators Specifically included that corrupted footage that makes Sure to get 'he stabbed me' clear in audio AND #in Jay's subtitles - I wonder if that's an attempt to draw attention to that injury and maybe clarify the TTA upload a little bit? #OR you know maybe I'm reading into it all too much but hey. with this series that's actually a pretty solid living so #mh lb #i'm rewatching bc i'm about to start giving the Bleed More fic another attempt at getting finished and finalized so. keep an eye out :3c

[running-in-the-dark]

I have about two hours until I'll be too tired to think. I have to send the new exposé for my thesis to my advisor this morning (not an official deadline but it basically is).

I haven't written a single word yet. not one. sooo it's going great!

I cleaned my desk - that was very helpful and I should have done it first, but it felt like a waste of time. which is stupid because I know myself - I can't focus when there's stuff lying all around me. I also started reading the book on how to write a thesis that I got a few weeks ago. it's very very helpful. should have started reading it when I got it. but I didn't, so, yeah. this is where I'm at rn.

I'll go back to watching study with me videos (I forgot how much those help 😭)/having them on in the background, and try to get something done before I fall asleep.

#it really fucking sucks that I need that horrible overwhelming panicked feeling to get started #I KNEW I had to do this. I KNEW I had to send it tomorrow or well today now. #I WANTED to do it because I HATE this feeling so fucking much!! #but nope. couldn't think about it at all. just wouldn't do it. my brain said no. #I still find it fascinating that my old therapist was sure I don't have adhd because.... well yeah I'm pretty damn sure I do 🙃 #I truly hate myself so fucking much for putting myself in this situation AGAIN #I somehow have to turn all the stupid useless notes I have into something that makes sense and I just want to die #personal #posts about my thesis

[humanmorph]

i took the we in "before we come undone" as gur + figure at first and their bond (always at peril not only by whatever gur is talking about here, but also figures number of the beast thing.) but other possibilities: collective we (as in, everything and everyone. idk. just seems bad out there. whatever's happening.) or just gur (multiple of them) . He's losing grip & can feel it

#The first still makes the most sense to me but the last makes me the saddest #So who's to say. #it's poetry it's interpretation. It's me fucking around also. #Palisadeposting #I'm still not very far into the ep like 30 minutes... I'm only saying this bc I'm pretty sure there's perennial talk /in/ there #But I don't know about all that. #Palisade spoilers #Maybe I'll listen to more today but my moods just been so out of whack I fear I won't enjoy it. i do have to take a walk still though

[echoing-gravity]

In the double legacy Au how do the gods, montera or Camp react to percies legacy? Does he meet any Northa?

In the Magnus Chase series it's said that Children of Norse gods aren't "detectable" to monsters and gods UNTIL they die. And since Sally's a Legacy of LOKI one of the Norse gods most commonly associated with like misdirection and like avoiding traps (not counting the whole ''i invented the thing that finally caught me'' thing. Please keep nets away from the Jackson family. its like their only weakness. Also Loki being the inventor of nets might have something to do with how Percy was able to host that one Egyptian god, in that one side story, who ALSO invented nets, but that's off topic) the gods just have like, no fucking clue about it. As for the whole legacy of Venus, it's so far down the generational chain that it's barely even noticable, beyond the whole ''singing-charmspeak-siren-powers'' which Sally has basically forbidden/scared?(unintentionally) Percy into never using. By the time anyone (Zeus, Ares, or other ppl who don't like Percy) realizes that Sally's and therefore Percy's heritage is cross-pantheon he's already won the favor of like- ALL the greek minor gods -(did you know that their are over 3100 immortals in the greek-mythos idk how many of that number are gods, compared to like primordials, titans, nymps, giants, and naliads but like that numbers' HUGE)- when he turned down immortality, has the begrudgingly support of Nico's dad, and has like literally saved the world twice. They can't do anything to them without like starting a war. Zeus is like trigger-happy one second from zappo murdering Percy but he CANT because Percy is the Darling. Everyone likes him now, if Zeus were to harm Percy he would have not only both his brothers to deal with but also LITERALLY everyone (minus maybe Athena and Ares) would be out for his blood.

Percy himself doesn't even find out he's a legacy until like after son of Neptune when Venus, says some shit and then his mom tells him what's up after he, Bob, and friendly giant friend get rescued from Tartarus: Ice Age Addition. to help with the final battle. (Speaking of battle Sally helps fight in the battle against Kronos in book 5, with her Seax Knives!(i remembered what her viking weapons was called!))

I have this scene in my head where like Alex Ferrari or however their name is spelt, comes to camp half blood like- 2 weeks post Dirt Fite, because she was told that they need a legacy of loki to help them complete a quest and that legacy was at the camp. and he's arguing with annabeth something like-

"Why would there be a Legacy of Loki HERE?!?!!?!"

"idk, but that's what THEY said"

Percy overhears this and is like 'No.'

'no that is nOt HaPpEnInG'

No you are not taking my mom on a quest when she is 7 months pregnant with his unborn little sister. And ends up joining the quest and that's how they find out cuz Percy asked Alex

"what generation legacy?"

And Alex is like 'why does that matter's and Percy goes off 'cuz either the gods want to force HIS MOM on a quest or they want to take a newborn and... Like...NO!!!' NOT HAPPENING. Percy rage.exe happens, there might have been an earthquake. Alex points out that Percy can just go instead. Nico is also their and ends up tagging along. He is still mad about the whole Percy saving Nico via 'distracting him with a kiss and shoving him in the elevator' in Tartarus thing. (Percy has been avoiding the subject, but now can't cuz they are stuck on a quest together) shenanigans insue.

#double legacy sally jackson au #percy jackson #sally jackson #nico di angelo #Percys already proven he's trustworthy to a majority of ppl and I'm pretty sure eboth camps would fight the gods for him #As for most gods/ppl the most common reaction is 'yeah I can see it' or 'oohhhhh' or ''....so Percy being Percy? Makes sense.'' #Or if it somehow turns into a reading the books story cuz I am a sucker for those 'haha Rebellious Streak??? U mean obedience streak right? #Also I don't recognize the word montera my brain is blanking. It is. in fact. 3am.