#so its been hard to find time to write

[sea-buns]

Forgive me if I'm a bit nervous about Gorgug this season. It's just that the last Zac Oyama pc was Colin Provolone, who was arguably one of his greatest D20 performances, if not the greatest.

Zac always does great with every pc he plays, but Colin was something else. He came out swinging with actions and words that were teeming with unspoken emotional baggage. The way Colin's presence affected the other pcs; there was this level of depth that I don't think I've seen in any of his other characters. It was understated and quiet in that signature "just a guy" way that he tends to be, while still captivating everyone instantly with just how raw it was.

Not to say we haven't seen emotional depth in Gorgug. It's just that, compared to the other Bad Kids, Gorgug's journey and progression as a character has been very... impersonal? Like, yes, he found his birth parents, and he found friends who appreciate him, and he faced his insecurities about his intelligence, and he navigated relationship troubles, and his trial through the claustrophobic bug-tunnels was a horrifically-uncanny parallel to how he's spent his entire life trying to make himself as small as possible.

But how much of that has actually changed him from the Gorgug we started with? I would agree that he's definitely happier with his life, given all the loving and supportive people that have been added to it when it used to be just him and his parents. And he's certainly grown into himself and become more self-assured in his abilities, even if he's still, and always will be, our anxious little guy. And there's nothing wrong with that. I've always liked how Gorgug was a representation of all the little things. The subtle acts and kindnesses that don't seem like much to most, but to some are everything.

We don't need another Bad Kid living in fear that their mouth could be shit-in at any moment. We've already got one-too-many.

All that being said, I just feel like Gorgug's personal story beats are much easier to sweep under the rug than everyone else's. He has the same soft and understated quality that Colin held, but they lack that extra oomph that pushed Colin over the edge from being just another guy in a series of dudes, to a character that the vast majority of us could not get out of our heads. He took someone who was anxious and softspoken, who ultimately never wanted to be violent— someone who is remarkably similar to Gorgug in many ways— and maintained that demeanor and core in Colin's character while still hitting us in the feels with character development at max velocity at every turn.

I think Zac gets better and better at this with every season that goes by. With each new character, there is always something that leaves me stunned in awe. And it's been, what, three? Four years since we last saw Gorgug?

I'm just,,, I'm cautiously optimistic but also going into a bit of a worry about what violence this man may inflict upon us

#i got SO carried away LMAO #i dont think ive ever written any posts about gorgug specifically #i made a lot about colin. and some about pib. and some more about zacs performances in general. #but never anything gorgug-focused. i just wasnt on tumblr at those other times that hed been on my mind like this #you can tell i still couldnt resist talking about colin lol #he was just so fucking good. a fantastic character all around. i cant imagine a better example to get my point across than him #when i do posts like this its all very much just me taking a vague idea and working with whatever comes out in the moment #so when i tell you i very much did not plan to get lost in the counterargument and had to stop for a second to remember what my point was #my point still stands but so does everything else #you dont realize it. how similar gorgug and colin really are. or how metaphorical the bug tunnel was. #or how gorgug IS the epitome of little details. small acts. quiet rights and wrongs. the faint causes and the even subtler effects. #u dont truly realize it until youre writing it yourself in a free flow fugue state and it all comes to a halt cuz youve blown your own mind #anyway i love gorgug and i love zac pcs and i hope this post makes sense cuz finding the right words was fucking hard hah #dimension 20 #d20 #fantasy high #fantasy high junior year #fhjy #fantasy high sophomore year #fhsy #gorgug thistlespring #the ravening war #trw #colin provolone #zac oyama

[puppyeared]

Jitterbug

#whenever my meds kick in it feels like im gonna piss myself. not literally but its really really feels like it #and now whenever that happens my mind goes back to pancho (grandmas dog) at a xmas party years ago #bc he peed when we arrived bc he was so excited to see ppl and my cousin had to clean it up :o) #well for better or for worse i know that feeling now when im pumped on 20mg of adderall #im still getting used to this whole diagnosis thing cause ive gone untreated and undiagnosed for the longest time. so theres probably a lot #i still dont know and have to learn to get myself to be.. functional on my own? self managing???? #i even set up reminders on my phone for work periods meals and stuff. but the problem is actually getting myself to stick to that to a T #because the minute i slack off or something gets in the way it throws it all off until i can be bothered to get back on track. it sucks #at least ive built up other habits like writing notes and setting alarms ahead of time.. but i feel like i could do better #its always hard to change something if youve been doing it wrong for the longest time. especially behaviour and thinking patterns. sigh #in other news my glasses bailed on me so i have to get a new pair sometime. i just realized i never draw my sona with glasses but thats #mostly bc i forget. id love to get some browline glasses like my old pair but im picky and its hard to find one id like for the next 5 year #i also finally managed to collect all the fish in my animal crossing file!!! pulled out a char last week and boom now i have a poster :o) #THAT was a moment where i almost peed myself for real. id love to get all the bugs but i cant stay up late on the switch :o( #yapping #my art #myart #doodles #personal #diary

[kaythefloppa]

Enough time has passed to where I think we can openly admit how WK has gone through seasonal rot within its previous 2 seasons and how the hype of Season 7 along with the generally positive reception is a really green flag for the show's quality.

#wild kratts #pbs kids #kratt brothers #martin kratt #chris kratt #pbs kids go #2d kratt brothers #2d martin kratt #2d chris kratt #because season 5 and 6 were.... not good to say the least #S5 took a hard plummet in quality after the Alaska special #Idk how to describe it but episodes felt more flat and basic more often than not despite there being several good ones in the mix too #S6 was slightly better but still felt more two-dimensional and basic and oddly oversaturated (and I don't just mean in the color palate) #I know Season 7's only been out for barely a year and we've only had 8-10 episodes released #But I do think that this season is substantially different than the previous two. #It feels a lot more experimental in its concepts whilst utilizing the show's strengths #Sometimes it works like with Clever the Raven or the Blue and Green special #Sometimes it doesn't like with the Mudskipper episode #But you can tell that they've some ideas in mind that you definitely wouldn't find in other seasons. #It genuinely makes me both curious and optimistic. Bc again it took 2 years to film this season. #There's definitely more time put into the writing process as earlier seasons. #I'm gonna hold some reservations until the season ends but it's shaping up to be pretty good so far.

[oatbugs]

this is the hardest assignment i have ever ever done i just took my 3rd ritalin my eyes r still tearing up from the exhaustion..it's 9:31 AM it's due at 12:00 PM aaaa

#this all nighter has been physically painful like my back hurts omg #what am i even writing atp #its not even a high word count its just a course i actually did like only half the content for that is also a v hard course above my yr #so ive had to teach myself everything from scratch and . ughasd aA im afraid of failing #ok #anyway #literally the ritalin is making my heart go fast but im still yawning tff #ok gtg bye #i think im like 70% done which is #bad #bc it took me #like 24 hours to get to 70% so #hhh #bye #rn finding references is so insanely time consuming #like this is so specific

[afewproblems]

Sneak peak of my continuation of the Prompt 53. I was flirting with you! From this post.

Prompt 50. I need you to forgive me will be answered in Part Two!

(Everyone that requested to be tagged, I promise I will tag you in the official part two update!)

#im so busy this week its been hard to find time to write #im managing to write in the morning for about an hour before work but every single evening this week i have something to do #dentist today #conference tomorrow #i should get some time on Saturday and Sunday hopefully for a WIP Weekend #afewproblems talks #wip wednesday #steddie #eddie munson #robin buckley takes no shit #mixed tape #we are doing 80s rom coms with this

[boyywithluv]

.

#having a creative rut feeling #gonna rant #im basically a giant baby and i don't handle angst very well #and i constantly worry that im just. idk mentally weak or a deeply uninteresting person bc of it. #every big fantasy artist i see is usually very into making sad or angsty pieces and like i wish i was like that #like i fall into this mental hole very very often that im just holding myself back with how many subjects i dont write or draw #but also like when i DO write dark subjects it doesn't make me feel any better?? #i dont like feeling sad or angry bc once i am its extremely hard to get back out of it. #and thats scary for me. #but also i want to make art that means something instead of my nonestop slew of smut and feelgood content. #i genuinely feel so trapped by my own emotions and its sp frustrating. #i keep getting told how good for you it is to get the negative feelings out but it never helps when i do it #i just feel. worse? i dont feel good. #i kinda wanna delete the one cloud post bc it just doesn't feel good. #ugh #idk i want to have good intelligent things to say and thoughtful art to make #and everything i make feels soft and cheesey and lame. #not that i find those things lame #but just that it feels like im stuck in baby brain. #when i was a teen i would write horror stories!!! i still love horror!!! #but if i make someone suffer in fic now it feels me with this awful awful overwhelming sense of dread and guilt and i end up so upset #im frustrated at me bc this is such a fucking weird sensitivity to have. im tried of telling myself its okay #bc i WANT to feel mentally free enough to create shit that isnt just uwu soft. #i don't think im making sense but like. #you know #I've literally been bullied out of fandom spaces for only making soft content #multiple times. #so idk maybe this is a learned sense of shame #but i feel like a big over sensitive baby and like I'd be able to do so much more if i wasn't #vent ish

[cinnaminsvga]

zee i need to go back to 2018 immediately this 20’s shit is not it

[cont.] omg zee harana hit 1k notes hotdamn jeon jungkook fics really are a different breed not even these fuckholes 20’s can change that

(im assuming this is the same anon lol) but yeah dude why tf do i miss the 2015-2018 era when i know goddamn well that they were only fractionally better than how life is now... i know movies and tv shows always talk about "real" adulthood but MAN they were not kidding about how soul-sucking it can be ;w; everyday you just work and work and work and then you get one vacation maybe then you work and work and work then you DIE... NGAHHGHDH...

also yes holy shit icb harana hit 1k notes??? I WAS EXPECTING MAYBE 500 at most... jk fics really do hit different bc tell me why i KNOW that when i release the other fics with the other members that they'll likely barely breach 200 notes 🫠 jungkook stans i prommy my yoobie fics are fire just give them a chance 🧎🏻‍♀️

#also can i just say it was strange watching the reception for harana #bc for one like??? i did not get as much verbal response as i would have expected from a 1k note fic #bc every other fic of mine that reaches that usually has some buzz but this time it was... kinda quiet??? #which i dont mind btw like i wrote and posted harana not even knowing if people were gonna read it given how long my hiatus has been #so i wasnt expecting much reception at all but its still... #its just strange!! also ever since i posted harana i keep seeing other jk fics pop up on my fyp #and its always the same phenomena.... why is everyone lurking 0_0 #also why is it hard to find yoongi fics.... tell me why everything is pwp.... i want 40k slow burn madness :((( #OK TIME TO GO BACK AND ROT (maybe write some yoongi on the side) #Anonymous #answered

[cosmic-walkers]

Hmmm if Henry wasn't king and just some normal lord or Duke or whatever and he did some shit that required him needing a lawyer and that lawyer was Thomas...Thomas would drop him as a client expeditiously I fear.

#do i wanna make this an au? #like 'you slept with the mother and sisters and pissed the dad off what is there more for us to discuss #you're going to pay a small fine' #and henry would just lose it like 'youre supposed to win me this case not ruin me financially' #henry is just so hard to work with #THEY would start arguing in court #Thomas would be like ' i need to step out for a moment to gather my thoughts' and would never come back #at the end of it #henry finds thomas to yell at him and he also still owes thomas #and after the tongue lashings they give each other and maybe him getting in Thoma's face one to many times and almost getting whacked #he hits thomas with the “Are you seeing anyone? We should go out to eat since you're such a bad lawyer” #then that his its problems becaws why?? #henry is buying so much food and thomas still hasn't been paid #the family herny slept with still hasn't been paid #it's hectic #you know #i've writen so many somber wolfhall fics and am writing another one #i just need ONE funny one #wolf hall #thomas cromwell #henry viii

[99probalos]

rewatched gorilla interrupted at last. best movie ever made of all time on cod no squidding for eel no carp

#bigfoot took the wheel #rlm #i have got to get back to gi76 #i finished chapter 4 but its just so hard finding the time to write 😭😭😭 #maybe one of these days ill just go to a cafe and write as much as i can #ive been writing lots of like. random little scenes from later on in the story though. just not anything linear

[sailor-aviator]

.

#y'all my anxiety has me spiraling as of late because it just feels like my whole life is falling apart at this point #i got fired from my job a couple of months ago and i've been scrambling to try and find a new one #i work part time at a store i really love but it pays shit #and i've had all of these interviews and no one wants to hire me and i just feel unhireable at this point and it's hard not to despair #and on top of that i'm struggling with my self esteem again #i know i'm not ugly per se but i'm struggling with feeling confident in the way i look as a big girl #and all of my old insecurities are rearing their ugly heads and i want to cry just thinking about it #and i feel like such a failure right now even though i know that life has its ups and downs but my stupid brain just won't chill #and i don't really have any friends in the area because they all either moved away or didn't live here to begin with #and i'm tired of living at home because of my stupid student loans and not being able to afford to live on my own #i have one person i hang out with and we just met and i don't want to scare them off because they're a great friend and person #and i just feel like i'm never going to meet anybody who's going to love me the way i want to be loved because of my looks #also because it's me. and i feel like i'm so flawed as a person that no one will ever fall in love with me #and i've just been feeling really alone lately and i'm trying to do things to make me feel better but it's just so HARD right now #and i love writing because it gives me a chance to explore some of my feelings and it's something i genuinely love to do #and i'm sitting here waiting for the day things start to get better. and i know we all joke and i'm gonna sounds so dumb for saying this #but i feel like i was meant to be famous? or do something great idk and it's something everyone has always told me #and idk if my feelings of inadequacy are because of that or what but i'm scared that my life is going to mean nothing in the end #anyway this was a lot and you can pretend like you didn't read it. i just wanted to write some of my feelings down

[reginrokkr]

One partial less, one step closer to freedom! Today's partial went well, not as well as the others did but it's good enough. Since we're on those days™ when we don't do anything in class, I came home earlier so I had more time to relax. Meaning that I have plans to tackle down those 5 drafts that I have pending to deliver once I come back from doing some exercise with my father. In the meanwhile, since it's Munday, you can send me anything from thingy #1 and thingy #2 and I'll answer those too! ♥︎

#◟༺✦༻◞ what lays behind the mantle of faux stars ┊ooc.┊ #soon I'll taste the freedom #from ending with the finals hell #that is coming next week #but since I've been studying hard for these partials #it's like I have half the way walked already #so it'll be just a matter of revising a bit #to remember past content #oh and I'll be able to play a bit through the 4.4 patch #on Wednesday #which is great too #I'm rubbing my hands at the juicy lore #that I anticipate to find #I might play B.aizhu's quest tomorrow #since I was told that its content might be related #but today it's writing time #to not keep you peeps waiting too much #as I'll probably fade a tiny bit during next week

[rusanya-does-edits]

Something weirdly specific for at least some of us, that we've had in mind for awhile; unfortunately this was the closest we could get with a picrew tbh.

× × × || × × × || × × ×

Like, fortunately for us; while we have some things that irk us with this one, but this hits pretty close in a metaphorical sense at least for the people we're thinking of. Unfortunately for us, some of those are more obvious than others so we hesitated on weather we needed to share this or not LOL.

#stimboard #cn // highly personal #highly personal #GOD THAT PINK IN THE BACKGROUND. SO THREATENING. #THAT “SHE KNOWS” THING A MONTH BACK IN THE GAME SESSION. // OC-related tangent in the tags incoming #(<- hits differently in some situations) #(<- *stares at the plural OCs who we made an entire past for.*) #(<- *stares at the fact their whole thing is. dysphoria made them plural. and THEN they became functionally immortal.*) #(<- you don't skip town for no reason. they lived in a generation where being both would throw them in The Loony Bin) #(<- but only the QUEERNESS became more acceptable later on.) #(<- these bozos are a mirror to our own life and frustration. and that realistically. people are starting to accept endogenics to a degree. #(<- but the world we want and how endos are treated is NOT going to happen next yer. it MIGHT happen in like 20 years.) #(<- “she knows” has been and always will be our greatest fear and pushing through that is HARD.) #(<- So what would it look like INSTEAD to be hiding under queerness. which is still stigmatized as hell) #(<- but you can AT LEAST find a margin of community somewhere that isn't full of abusers and bootlickers/idenity-medicalists for that ID) #NONE OF THIS IS NEGATIVE we're actually kind of glad the GM saw the full implications of that even implicitly - #- getting the shivers just remembering that. But also it's interesting to implement that onto their younger singletsona lmao. #WERE SO PISSED THO THAT WE COULDNT FIND A GREYSCALE MASK THAT WASNT. HORROR OR PARTY. THESE FUCKERS ARE NOT VILLAINS YNKOW. #like how the fuck do we have a hoard of gifs in our tumblr likes and found NOTHING for that specifically lolsob? #yes these ARE the same two chucklefucks we blabbed on and on about for like a week on our main account. #but its their “singletsona”. kind of. kind of sort of. we have wholeass ideas on this narratively. #like we just need to WRITE as in actually write but the issue is every time we do we hit A Wall(tm) #but yeah. anyways. we have headmates playing a TTRPG and we may have projected our frustrations onto two OCs that we don't even play. 😭😭😭

[theladyfae]

nothing to me will ever be more iconic than my beloved mutual managing to get me so invested in a (rarepair) ship for a media i had no previous interaction with that i was actively making my own headcanons abt their potential relationship dynamic and making song associations and engaging in others’ brainrot for months before i ever even considered getting in to said media. and now a year later i’m finally writing fic for them but still know next to nothing abt what they’re like in canon cause i still haven’t made it to that part of the story, the memories of the shared delusion are genuinely the only thing keeping me going.

#poppy if ur reading this ilysm ylne has been a constant over the past year (consistent in ruining my LIFE) #the most mundane things are them i was running a bath the other day and bam suddenly had an insane fic idea #was just putting my hair into a small plait rn and remembered the time i used that as insp for an angst idea. every song can be them too #i don’t really talk abt them on tumblr cause i’m still technically not actually. IN the genshin fandom #i play the game (now. entire months after i first was introduced to the ship) and i like characters and find the story intriguing but #my love for ylne transcends all that and the vision is both v simple and v insane & only my 3 twt mutuals bar poppy Get it #but also its really funny one of them isnt a playable character and probably never will be and he’s got like. a few mentions and #there is literally only one image of him out there (2 but the second was part of leaks drama). but im attached to his nonexistent wife #who he’s cheating on. the hannigram brainrot was easy to transfer across because they feel so similar but somehow even w/o cannibalism #they’re Worse and they’ve taken up permanent residence in my mind #and yes i’m only thinking abt all this as a way of procrastinating writing said fic its soso hard trying to do them justice 😔 #i think its genuinely become a pattern where i will write things that are So divorced from their original media and honestly. what a slay #faera's

[knoxiating]

.

#i hate having adhd #i hate having anxiety #i have two final papers due today on subjects I find interesting and that I've been thinking about all semester #and i can't get started on actually writing them #every time i try it feels like needles in my brain #i'm so fucking tired of trying and trying to get through college and just self-destructing at every opportunity #i literally know exactly what i'm going to write and i nearly vomit every time i go to actually do the work #i hate it #fuck all this neurodiversity pride shit #i just want to not be a fuckup #its so fucking hard to try your best and still fail worse than anybody you know #i've been on and off medications and therapy for over a decade and it hasn't helped at all #i'd cry except i'm so burnt out i literally can't remember the last time i felt strong emotion #cbt doesn't help when you can rationally think your way through a feeling and splash cold water on your face #and then everything comes back five seconds later

[fatuifucker]

its been a day and i still am upset about that interaction with that person they literally didnt do anything wrong but i keep thinking about 4th grade me getting excited when someone likes the same thing as me only for me to not impress them and then i go back home crying and wondering why i have no friends

#surprisingly. i dont have many internet friends because most of my friendships with former mutuals are superficial! #and im tired of investing into friendships like those #other friendships just ended just because #and its just very hard for me personally to find friends on tumblr because im very particular about writing #i dont read fanfics anymore because some of them are really just people writing a short paragraph and slapping down several names on it #he'll fuck you until ur crying blah blah blah followed by a list of names from different fandoms like gtfo w that shit #other times its just not it to me ig #i hate a lot of my fics here i absolutely despise my most recent scara fic its so bad #and im not saying this to buy pity or wtv im very honest about this kind of thing #fuck like i cant do art #i dont fit in w the shippers because im particular about my ship tastes #i dont fit in w the self inserts because of that as well #like tf am iiii everyone around me has friends on tumblr and is doing great stuff here #ive been growing this blog for 3 years and have reached 3 thousand followers and it still feels like im alone #tw rant #tw vent

[fitia]

Sometimes I think about Steven Universe Malachite discourse and like. wow, people were really killing each other over cartoons, and I witnessed it. And also picked a side.

#fitiaposting #Anyways my thoughts on it is that sometimes SU had a hard time balancing the consistency of its story with the messages it wanted to send #due to the nature of it being a children's cartoon with a very didactic narrative. #Malachite was possibly the worst example of it because at the end of the day I think it's stupid to pretend that the intention of Alone At #Sea wasn't that Jasper was supposed to be the ''abuser'' in that situation trying to manipulate her ''victim'' back into their toxic #relationship. That being said what we actually saw play out canonically was Lapis -- someone inarguably much more powerful than Jasper who #we've seen best a character Jasper LOST to with incredible ease. while nursing a cracked gem and waterbending the entirety of the Earth's #oceans at once -- imprisoning a gem out of spite and vengeance at the bottom of the ocean so she had someone to take her anger out on. #Lapis... pretty obviously had the power in that situation. Hell even admits in Alone at Sea that she enjoyed taking everything out Jasper. #The episode however give Jasper the Walking Red Flag framing you'd find in a ''how to spot an abuser'' PSA so we could have our ''Toxic #relationships are bad kids don't get back together with your shitty ex'' moment. #So it's a bit frustrating because what the writing wants you to ultimately take away from the situation kind of goes against what we all #canonically witnessed... and then it created a massive flame war between people who prioritized reading the Tone of the actual episode vs #people who cared about the consistency of what we'd actually seen depicted so far. #When I think the actual conclusion that should've been taken was ''Maybe Alone at Sea is a poorly written episode and Malachite got an #unsatisfying conclusion actually''