#so yes I do believe Thrawn notices this completely

[egregiousderp]

Had to stop for a moment at work thanks to the sudden realization that thanks to the Mouse Droid fic, it’s canon that Eli Vanto is exactly Tarkin’s type, and that makes his promotion process So Much Funnier in Thrawn.

#Star Wars #Pryce utterly oblivious #Thrawn probably noticing So Much that Tarkin’s watching Vanto. #Vanto’s just there internally grumbling about not being able to do his Imperial Retail Job in Stocking #and like. Thrawn himself is only ever portrayed through outside views #so this whole thing where he doesn’t follow politics isn’t correct to me at least #he’s following everything that’s going on but it’s the same as him pretending to need word clarification from Eli #he knows what’s going on. but engaging with the politics Isn’t The Point #The Point is maneuvering and developing Eli Vanto while also positioning himself to act freely within the empire to his own ends #it’s like bartering for space for his little droid projects: Humans Will Put Up With Shit As long As They Get What They Want #so yes I do believe Thrawn notices this completely #and that Eli Vanto could very much have made his own path to promotion if you get my drift #But he doesn’t. and this pleases Thrawn. #granted he doesn’t make that path because Eli actually IS mostly oblivious to politics because his strategies are escapist and avoidant #‘avoid demotion and then maybe I can get what I really want’ #But Imagining this Ceremony is just So Fucking Funny. because Thrawn’s there like Oh. Interesting. #and Tarkin’s there following Vanto with his eyes like. yes. very interesting. #and Pryce is too busy scheming because she’s Pryce.

[unhelpfulfemme]

I feel like the Grysk work way better than the Yuuzhan Vong as the "nebulous threat" that Thrawn is fighting against because they are clearly tailor made to highlight how wrong Thrawn can be due to his own personal weaknesses.

The entire plot of the Ascendancy trilogy is the Grysk gaining footing through 100% political means - they use espionage to discover the internal divisions and weak points of a country's political system and then attack that, an issue that is probably better addressed through collaboration and the strengthening of the country's political culture and institutions (the Chiss are so quick to abandon their national interests in the face of internal divisions). Thrawn wins every single battle in that trilogy and yet everyone, including himself, is way worse off than where they started and at great risk from the Grysks simply because the Chiss political system is so unstable and because their culture sees collaboration with other races as fundamentally undesirable.

And what Thrawn, who is also either incapable of or completely uninterested in thinking about politics, concludes from all this is, "Ah, yes, this is a problem that can only be solved by throwing more military power at it. Preferably military power run by an authoritarian state that tries to eradicate any trace of political pluralism, because that will make them less vulnerable to the exploitation of the political actors' rivalries and personal interests."

And then he spends, what, fifteen years working with people like Tarkin and Krennic, while having to constantly extinguish rebellions that are popping up everywhere due to the Empire's oppressive policies, and still somehow thinks that the Grysks wouldn't be able to deal with the Empire easily. The Empire that didn't even need them to topple itself through internal conflict in less than a generation - if the Grysks wanted to conquer it, all they'd have to do is wait.

And after reading Lesser Evil I really think that at least part of it is due to some personal drives/needs he's not self-aware enough to address: he says it point-blank that he never believed the Ascendancy would give him an admiralship, and you see hints of his constant frustration at people not understanding him and him having to teach them (sometimes from a position of less power than they have, sometimes when they really don't care to be taught) both through Thrass's POV and through his very slight (but noticeable by his standards) emotional unraveling by the end of the book (e.s. the scene with Unghali where he gets all angry and scary).

Because he has never naturally arrived at the limit of his own competence but was always hamstrung by others, he has no means of differentiating between when he's theoretically right but the politics are obstructing him and when he's actually wrong and the solution is outside of his sphere of competence.

So of course that a political system where being a flag officer means that he gets to do whatever the fuck he wants as long as he convinces one guy of it, where he gets to teach people how to think better and pick only them for positions of power, in a country with no pesky norms about preemptive strikes that he constantly needs to rule lawyer around, sounds appealing.

It's not just about the Ascendancy now, it's also about showing what he can do when not too obstructed, and it's also the first time he has enough free reign to slam headfirst into the big wall of his own lack of capacity or desire to understand politics. But hey, at least he's free to fuck around and find out, not feeling constantly frustrated and overly controlled!

Truly the most character of all time, I love it. People complain about how Zahn babygirlified him in the new canon books just because they're from his POV when switching out the Vong for the Grysk makes him more unambiguously wrong than he was in Legends (where you got other people like Jacen Solo following the same rationale).

#thrawn #thrawn ascendancy

[fallenrepublick]

now hold on 👀 imagine that tho

you become his...private secretary or something

thrawns reaction depends on whether he knows about thrass' feelings or not

if he doesn't he would probably be happy to know you safe in his brothers hands, if he DOES (nd you don't) oh boy. he can't tell you NOT to go to work

but on the other hand imagine the sweet way thrass gets distracted at work by you, staring lovingly at you

or when you lean over his shoulder to show him the meetings he has scheduled and you body brushes his, your scent all around him ahh<33

Oh god... if you were Thrass's private secretary... do you have any idea how spoiled you would be?

If anything, you'd be paid for barely working at all. He makes his own coffee, for gods sakes. Any task you think you might have been doing, he does himself, coming up with weak excuses as to why you never have to do anything.

"Ah, well... I... I was already here, there's no reason to call you for something so... small."

Before you even have a chance to point out that he deliberately walked across his large home to make coffee in the kitchen that you were already in, he changes the subject, proclaiming about how well you've been doing in your work. He finds that he's noticeably better prepared and put together with your help... despite the fact that he's really not... given you anything to be in charge of. Each time you ask, he says simply how you already have so much to do, and not to worry about overloading yourself.

"I believe it's high time I increased your pay," he says decidedly, as if he hadn't already been paying you more than you ever thought possible, or given you your own suite to stay in if you ever needed it. There's no use arguing. He'll do it whether you object or not.

Ah yes... Thrawn. He was never really on board with this concept, though it wasn't exactly up to him. He couldn't exactly hide that he was hesitant about it, yet he never divulged why the case was, either.

"It is your decision, of course," Thrawn said on the matter when it was brought up. Thrass's employment contract could barely even be counted as one at all. It was only a few pages on a document sent through his datapad, outlining that you'd be paid for completing basic tasks for him ranging from bookkeeping to scheduling. A simple job, really. "If you believe this position will be beneficial to you, it is in your best interest to take it."

Yes, Thrawn knew. He knew from the beginning, from the way Thrass looked at you, from the way he smiled at all you said, from the way he would almost say something, before deciding against it and shaking it away. And this time that Thrass would have with you alone, these opportunities for him to only fall deeper into the hole he was digging for himself was not something Thrawn was keen on having to witness. However... it wasn't his decision. It was yours. And Thrass's kindness and generosity to you was a solid pull to taking the job.

Really... you just spent time in Thrass's house. He would work a little, get up, invite you to have some tea or food or to take a break. He always had something to talk about, something to open up about.

You enjoyed it, these little chats with a friend. He was encouraging, the type that never felt like a boss and likely never would.

And his face world brighten, as his chest would tighten, every time you spoke of Thrawn. He would smile at the mention of his brother. Smile. Stand straight. Nod. He told himself. It's what you're supposed to do.

Every time, he nearly forgot that you loved Thrawn. That this time in his house was nothing more than a job. You had to be here. You had to. You didn't want to. You were never in that house when you didn't have to be.

But he could pretend that you wanted to be there. He did it every so often, when he saw you walk through the halls, spend time in your room, sit in his office talking. He could pretend in his head that you had come to visit, wanting to tell your love that he should take a break or get something to eat. He could pretend that smile was something more than polite. He could pretend the look in your eyes meant something more. He could pretend... he could pretend that the house smelled just a little less like him, that it wasn't so dark and empty when you left. In his head, at least for a few moments, you didn't leave. You were there. And you loved him.

Maybe, he thought at the end of each day, after you'd said goodbye, after you leaned into Thrawn's arms and went home, maybe his own mind will keep his heart at bay. It's not like he has much of a choice.

#chiss triangle #thrass #thrawn

[dalekofchaos]

If Vader raised Luke and Obi-Wan trained Leia

Let’s say sometime after Mustafar. Darth Vader in his meditation in his castle, Vader felt a presence he hasn’t felt since.....Padme. Since he felt his unborn child through the force. His child is alive. Sidious lied. The Jedi took his son from him. They will all pay. So here is what would happen if Vader sensed, found and raised Luke. 

Darth Vader would’ve killed Owen and Beru instantly and burned the Lars homestead

Obi-Wan would rush to face Vader. Vader would overpower Obi-Wan, mortally wound him and throw him into the burning homestead and use the force to crush the roof onto an unconscious Obi-Wan 

Darth Vader would hold a baby Luke in his hands and  for some reason Luke is not afraid, but drawn to this dark figure. 

Vader would simply say “Luke. Son...”

Vader takes Luke to his castle on Mustafar

Obi-Wan would crawl out of the remains of the Lars Homestead. Injured, but alive. Obi-Wan failed. He contacted Yoda and told him Vader found and took Luke. Yoda will simply tell him “There is another.” All he can do is call Bail for transport to Alderaan. He failed Luke, but he will not fail Leia. 

Bail and Breha would teach Leia about politics and Obi-Wan would train Leia to become a Jedi

Luke would spend his entire childhood to adulthood in the depths of Fortress Vader. Training and submerging himself in the dark side of the force. 

Vader would indoctrinate his son into hating the Jedi. Hating The Emperor and instructing his son that only together could they destroy The Emperor and the last of the Jedi.

By the events of Rogue One/A New Hope. Luke’s training would be complete. “You were weak when I found you. Now your hatred has become your strength. At last the dark side is your ally. Henceforth, you shall be known as Darth Zhoun. Rise, my son.”  Source 1. Source 2

Luke would be Vader’s assassin. Carrying out assassinations in the name of the Empire. Killing the last of the Jedi. Enemies of The Empire. His identity is unknown to the Emperor and Rebellion, but his reputation would strike fear in the Rebel Alliance. He is simply known as “Vader’s Shadow.”

Palpatine feels a disturbance in the force, but for some reason, he cannot detect Luke. All he can sense is “a shadow”

Luke fully embraced the dark side and is consumed by it. When Master Shaak Ti tries to turn him away from his path, before killing her(What is this her 5th death????) Luke will say “My father’s fate is my own.”

Vader’s final test for his son would be to pit him against his old Padawan. Luke kills Maul with ease as he decapitates him. Luke uses Ahsoka’s need to save her friends against her and when she attempts to save them, Luke cuts Ahsoka down. 

Thrawn would request the aid of Vader, in his stead, Vader once again sends his son. Luke would kill Ezra and save Thrawn. “Lord Vader has need of you, Grand Admiral. Set up the TIE Defenders program in the Unknown Regions and return with a fleet of them.” Thrawn would call off the fleet and let Lord Zhoun deal with the Rebels. Luke would then slaughter the Rebels on Lothal

Sometime after securing Thrawn’s victory on Lothal, as a gift. Thrawn has given Vader and Luke their own personal TIE Defenders. 

Vader and Zhoun would slaughter Cal and Cere. The Holocron is theirs. 

The existence of Darth Zhoun would only be known to Vader, Admiral Piett and General Veers.(you’ll see why)

Leia had a decade of training. On Alderaan and on Dagobah. Yoda and Obi-Wan together completed Leia’s training. Leia is now a fully fledged Jedi Knight and is ready to lead the Rebellion and confront her father and brother.  art source

Yoda and Obi-Wan would tell Leia the truth. Darth Vader is her father and his secret assassin is her brother, Luke. Due to a decade of training, Leia would prove strong and wise enough to learn the truth of her family.

Also Leia would ask about her mother. “Tell me, what was my mother like, my real mother.” “Your mother was Padme Amidala, a senator, queen and a kind and beautiful..” “Strong, was your mother. Believed in peace and diplomacy did she.” “And my father? Was he always Vader?” “Your mother loved your father. Anakin Skywalker was a good man. But he was consumed to stop the people he loved from dying. His mother was killed by the Tusken Raiders on Tatooine and the Emperor seized the opportunity to turn your father to the dark side. One day, your father was plagued by nightmares of Padme dying in childbirth, The Emperor promised him the power to save your mother, but in doing so Anakin became twisted by the dark side and became Darth Vader.” 

Leia believes her family could be turned. Obi-Wan would object. He's more machine now than man. Twisted and evil.” When insisting that Luke could be saved. Obi-Wan would be remorseful. “I failed my duty to save Luke, I should have followed Vader and staged a rescue, but you needed to be trained, you were our only hope.” 

Leia would be contacted by Bail requesting aid on Scarif. Yoda gives his blessing for Leia to go. Saying Ready to reveal herself to the galaxy, she is. Obi-Wan would join her as he must confront Vader one last time.

Leia and Obi-Wan get there just in time and they save the Rogue One Crew. Jyn personally gives Leia the plans. Obi-Wan tells her. “What is it?” All Leia can tell her master is “Hope.”

Leia would transmit the plans to the Tantive IV where her father would be there to receive the plans.

Vader and Luke board the ship to slaughter the rebels. Before they can get the Death Star plans back. They are confronted by Obi-Wan Kenobi and Leia. 

Darth Vader and Obi-Wan would duel similar to how they did in ANH aboard the ship. Leia and Obi-Wan are in desperate need to escape

Leia is able to defensively take down her brother, Obi-Wan momentarily stuns Vader and they escape with the plans.

As The Tantive IV is boarded, Leia and Obi-Wan are able to evade detection and hide in the escape pods with C-3PO and R2-D2

In place of Leia captured by the Empire, it is Bail Organa. Bail gives the plans to his daughter and pleads with Leia to leave with Master Kenobi. 

Leia and the droids wander Tatooine for a long walk. All Leia can think is “so much sand. so much fucking sand.”

Leia would store the plans in R2. Just in case something happens.

Leia is guided by Obi-Wan. “We must find passage to save Bail.”

Leia and Obi-Wan finds Mos Eisley Cantina and there they meet Han and Chewie. Leia asks for passage to Alderaan for herself and her droids no questions asked. “Is it a fast ship?” “Fast ship? You’ve never heard of The Millennium Falcon? It's the ship that made the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs! I've outrun Imperial starships, not the local bulk-cruisers, mind you.” All Leia can do is roll her eyes and takes Han’s word for it. Leia tells her “Once we get to Alderaan, my father Senator Organa will pay you handsomely. Say 15,000 credits?” Han just smiles that cocky Solo smile and says “you got yourself a deal princess”

Once Leia sees the Falcon. “You fly in that thing? You’re braver than I thought.” Han retorts “She'll make point five past lightspeed. She may not look like much, but she's got it where it counts, Princess. I've made a lot of special modifications myself.”

Leia and Han bicker like an old married couple and Chewie just decided “that’s it I ship it” Obi-Wan would see the writing on the walls. “Oh, this is like watching me and Satine” 

Bail watches the destruction of Alderaan

Leia would convince Han to help her free her father. Han is hesitant, but Leia will insist “my father will be very grateful, I’m sure we can triple the rewar-” Han would say so quickly “DONE!”

Han and Leia are pretty much battle couple goals while taking down Stormtroopers and Imperial Officers in the detention center.

Leia saves her father and embraces him in a hug.

Vader and Obi-Wan duels and Obi-Wan sacrifices himself to save Leia and Bail

Bail is forever in Han’s debt. He saved his life and his daughter’s life. He will pay Han anything. Being indebted to a Hutt is no way to live a life. He pays Han what he’s owed, but asks if he can join the Rebellion after clearing the debt as the Rebellion is in dire need of good pilots. Chewie is all for it, but Han is having none of it, but looks at Leia and says “I’m not saying yes, Senator, but...maybe.” Bail sees that he’s looking at Leia and says “I see” and knows he fancies his daughter.

Leia would fly in her personal Jedi X-wing Starfighter(Just imagine a mix between Anakin’s Jedi Starfighter and an X-Wing) during the Battle Of Yavin IV Leia’s hypothetical ship would look like this(source) but realistically it would be colored blue and white

Han would make the save and Leia would destroy the Death Star(btw Han now will not shut up that he saved Leia, ya know in a way, princess I helped destroyed the Death Star. I saved you from Vader and gave you the confidence you needed to destroy the Death Star. Sometimes I amaze even myself. Leia rolls her eyes and smiles...and blushes. Bail notices this and is happy his daughter is in love but knows she will never admit it) 

Leia would be knocked out and captured by a Wampa. Leia defeats it.

Han would save Leia. “Don’t worry, your worship I’ll save you.” Leia now wishes for death, he would not stop bringing up saving her during the Death Star, but now she owes him twice. Is the force punishing her?

Darth Vader and Darth Zhoun are on the hunt for the Jedi Princess. 

Bail requests Leia and Han to bring Master Yoda back into the fight. 

When Han and Leia escape. Bail stays behind. Darth Vader kills him and Leia feels the loss of Bail and breaks down. 

Instead of bickering and bantering, Han comforts Leia. Leia embraces Han in a hug and a kiss. Leia lets him in.

Leia and Han make it to Dagobah. Leia is very patient with her old master, but Han thinks he should be bigger. “This is Yoda?” Leia confirms and Chewie says so as well an goes “and how would you know that???” “I fought in the Clone Wars, Han” “Well, what do you want, a medal???”

Chewie would embrace Yoda in a hug. Yoda would warmly greet his old friend. “Chewbacca, missed you I did.”

Leia and Han asks Yoda to return to aid the Rebel Alliance. He doesn't have to fight but advise the leaders as what they must do. Yoda is willing, but first he must complete Leia’s training. With this, Leia tells Han to go and pay off Jabba’s debt. and kisses Han goodbye. Han says “When you’re done, meet me on Bespin, I’m going to see an old friend.”

Meanwhile aboard the Executer, Vader and Luke set in motion the plan to destroy The Emperor. Everyone aboard The Executer, especially Admiral Piett and General Veers are loyal to Vader and his son. The Emperor lies in his throne in the safety of the Imperial city, while Lord Vader is a man of action who fights on the front lines with his soldiers. They will stand by Lord Vader and his son, soon more will follow. 

Vader’s call with The Emperor happens as same, but Palpatine says “We have a new enemy. There is a great disturbance in the force. The Rebel Princess who destroyed the Death Star.” “She is just a girl, Obi-Wan and her father can no longer help her. “I have a feeling she is the daughter of Anakin Skywalker.” “How is this possible?” “Search your feelings Lord Vader, you know it to be true.” “If she can be turned, she can be a powerful ally.” “Yes...can it be done Lord Vader? “She will join us or die.”

Vader internally is pissed, but also pleased. Vader tells his son. “A Twin Sister, you have a twin sister. If she can be turned, we will destroy The Emperor and rule the galaxy as a family.” “What if my sister doesn’t join us?” “Then she will die. 

Leia’s training is complete. Yoda dubs Leia the rank of Jedi Master. Leia senses Han is in danger. Yoda tells her to go. “Be here, I shall be. May the force be with you, Master Leia.”

Despite paying off his debt to Jabba, Vader still intends to test Han Solo into carbonite freezing him. And Jabba would be overjoyed to have Han as a decoration. 

Vader orders Luke to bring his sister in the fold or kill her. “As you wish, father.”

Leia is too late. She sees Han frozen in carbonite. 

Leia feels the presence of her brother. They duel and they evenly matched. One wrong move and the fight is over. Luke cuts Leia’s hand off and asks his sister to join him and his father. Leia defiantly refuses. “Vader killed my master and my true father, I’LL NEVER JOIN YOU!” “The Jedi betrayed our father. turned our mother against him and had us separated, luckily he found me and rescued me. With our combined strength, we can destroy the Emperor and bring order to the galaxy as a family.” Leia refuses and falls..

Thanks to Yoda guiding Lando and Chewie, they find her just in time.

Despite not having Leia, Vader and Luke has everything they need to pull a coup on The Emperor

Vader has his son. Admiral Piett. Grand Admiral Thrawn. The Death Squadron. Death Troopers. A legion of TIE Defenders and more and more are drawn to Vader. Vader and Zhoun make their attack on Coruscant. 

Darth Vader and Darth Zhoun face Palpatine. The Throne room is lit up with force lightning and crimson blades. The battle is powerful and raw, but ultimately Luke and Vader overpower The Emperor. There is nowhere where Palpatine can escape to. Not Exegol or anywhere. Vader decapitates his old master. 

Vader broadcasts to the galaxy. “The Emperor is dead. I am now your Emperor. Those who serve me and my son, you will achieve greatness as we bring order to the galaxy. Those who stay loyal to The Emperor, die.” There would be a small civil war, but eventually all those who stayed loyal to Palpatine would be rounded up and killed.

Leia rescues Han. Leia does not resort to allowing herself to be captured. Nor does Leia need to be forced to wear that slave outfit. Leia gives Jabba one chance to free Han. Jabba refuses and since a Jedi would be impossible to be enslaved, he plans to feed Leia to his pet Rancor. That would be Jabba’s undoing. Leia would use animal bond/beast control on the Rancor and successfully tames the beast. After Leia convinces the Rancor to help her, Leia unleashes the beast on Jabba and his men Source

Leia unfreezes Han, rescues Chewie, Lando and the droids. 

In addition to rescuing Han, Leia also rescues Oola and all the slaves in Jabba’s palace.

Leia and Han would fight Boba Fett. With Boba Fett at their mercy, Leia decides to save him. Leia thinking “he could be so much more.” Han makes the decision to save him.  Han and Boba Fett finally bury their rivalry and leave it in the past and shake hands. Boba would declare that Han’s bounty will no longer exists and he won’t chased by him and exits the story. This would work because it would show that Han has grown from the rogue who would shot a man dead without question in ANH to someone who is willing to find an alternate solution to his problems. It’d also give some layers to Boba Fett of being a man of honor.

Yoda dies, but tells her that she is the only hope in saving her brother and stopping Vader. 

With Vader as Emperor, he has no intentions with building a second Death Star. Instead he intends to wipe out the Rebellion from the face of the galaxy. 

Luke feels a pull to the light. After a life of darkness and evil, Luke feels remorse. He sees what his father as Emperor is doing is wrong and if he feels these feelings, it’s all over. 

The Rebellion plans to make one last ditch effort to end the Empire once and for all. A Coup. The battle on the ground would now take place in the Imperial City and the area surrounding the Imperial Palace. The dogfights between X-Wings and TIE Fighters would take place in the skies above instead of in space. The confrontation between Leia,  Luke and Vader and would take place in the Imperial Palace in The Emperor's Throne Room.

Leia would contact Luke in order to get close to the palace.

Leia feels the conflict within her brother. Luke is trying to keep her out. Eventually Leia gets in and pleads with her brother to help him destroy Vader. But Luke takes her before Vader

Vader taunts Leia that the Rebellion will die today, but they can all be saved if she gives in to the dark side and joins her family

Vader forces Luke and Leia to fight to the death. Only one can serve him. Leia refuses to join him, but Vader and Luke are not giving her a choice. 

Leia and Luke’s duel is a mix between Anakin/Obi-Wan and Vader/Luke in terms of how the fight would go. In the end. Neither Luke nor Leia can kill the other. They both deactivate their lightsabers and embrace in a hug. For the first time in a long time, Luke’s yellow eyes turn blue. This ignites the wrath of their father. 

Vader force chokes both his children with full intentions of killing them. The only thing that can save them? Leia remembers on what Obi-Wan spoke about her mother. “Our mother was Padme Amidala.” Vader is stunned and enraged by the mere mention of her name. All Vader can say is “Do. Not. Say. Her. Name.” 

Vader ignites his lightsaber preparing to kill. While Luke and Leia are ready to defend themselves. Luke lands a strike that is similar to Ahsoka’s where Vader’s face is visibly seen

With Vader down. Leia continues to speak about her mother. “She was kind and beautiful. You were deceived and betrayed by The Emperor. He turned you from the most compassionate Jedi Knight to ever live into a dark lord. You do not have to be this way. You are free. You and Luke are free. Padme loved you. Obi-Wan loved you. You are Anakin Skywalker, our father. Call off the fleet and let us bring peace to the galaxy as a family.”

Anakin concedes to his children. 

The war is over. The Empire has ended. Vader agrees to whatever punishment the Rebellion has for him. 

Leia is in charge of Luke. Leia helps Luke on his path of atonement. 

Vader is sentenced for execution. His final request. “Let me see my children one last time.” Leia and Luke are saddened, but Anakin assures his children he has made peace with his fate. His final request from his children is to take his mask off. “ Just for once, let me look on you with my own eyes.”

#Star Wars #Darth Vader #Jedi Leia #Sith!Luke #Luke Skywalker #Leia Organa #Dark!Luke #Obi Wan Kenobi #Yoda #Han Solo #Hanleia #Emperor Sheev Palpatine

[cl-01-kestis]

Caf

Dismay - Grand Admiral Thrawn x Rebel!Reader | Part 9

Summary: As you adjust to living with Thrawn from now on, you share some of your memories of your birth and the things he missed out on.

Warnings: a detailed description of Thrawn’s morning routine lmao, menstruation, pretty long chapter

It was dark, cold but somehow warm in the place where you were lying. This felt much different compared to the prison floors, instead of hard concrete you were lying on fresh, cotton sheets, and a mattress that made you believe you were sleeping on a cloud. You shifted with your eyes still closed, your consciousness and awareness returning to you and making you realise that you were inside Thrawn’s chambers.

You remember the small incident that took place before you fell unconscious, you weren’t quick to forget that Thrawn specifically told you he’d take you to his chambers so you didn’t suffer Pryce’s punishments, you were grateful for that.

Opening your eyes, you realised it was dark, very dark. For seconds, you saw nothing but pitch black but soon your sight adjusted to the dark surroundings and you turned your head around to see a window, the Lothal moon shining through and giving the room a bit of light for you to see where you were sleeping at. You turned your head back around and jumped slightly when you realised you were lying a meter away from Thrawn, who’s back was turned to you as his body lay almost at the edge of the bed. For a minute you stayed put, looking at the back of his head and noticing some long strands that needed cut. He was wearing a white vest from what you could see, the rest of his body covered up by the thick quilt which you were also lying under.

From where you were lying, you could feel Thrawn’s body heat. You, right now, were freezing cold. Your top half wasn’t covered by the quilt and you were cold as you shifted in your position.

Sitting up, you very carefully and silently removed your jacket whilst moving your feet, coming to the realisation that Thrawn had taken off your shoes. You smiled, feeling the cool air of the chamber hit your bare arms and neck and sending a ray of shivers over your skin. Wincing, you returned to your spot underneath the covers and wiggled yourself closer to Thrawn without waking him up, keeping your arms and legs to yourself but trying to get as much warmth as you could.

You closed your eyes once more, shivering slightly due to your lack of body heat and trying to warm yourself up by rubbing your hands together quietly, breathing hot air on your fingers and letting out a tired yawn. You sighed, head against the pillow and limbs achy as you let out another yawn.

As you were about to drift off to sleep once more, the man lying beside you turned his head very slightly and noticed that you had moved closer to him. He’d heard your shuffling but wasn’t sure what you were doing, he hoped you weren’t escaping if anything.

Thrawn looked at you from the side with a hidden smile, eventually shifting his position so he was facing you, your head level with his chest and hands cupped idly against your chest. The Chiss wrapped an arm around you and pulled himself close to you, tangling his legs with yours and using his other hand to cradle the back of your head against his chest. Still awake, you wrapped an arm around his waist and nestled into his touch, the corner of your lips curling up ever so slightly.

This felt like home to you in every possible way.

Thrawn felt your soft breath plush against the skin where his vest didn’t cover, slowly breathing and completely at peace as you dozed off back into sleep. Very delicately, not wanting to wake you up, he brushed his lips against your hair and planted a small kiss on your strands, closing his own eyes when he felt the familiar sting of exhaustion.

By the time it was the early morning, and Thrawn had to wake up, the two of you were tangled in each other. Your legs were locked with his, both of your arms engulfed him in a warm embrace and somehow you had shifted to lying on your back in your sleep, Thrawn’s head resting on your chest peacefully. The Chiss man woke up naturally before the alarm on his bedside table went off, he was quick to cancel the alarm before it woke you up. He didn’t want to disturb your sleep, you needed as much of it as possible.

Thrawn stayed for a moment longer after he turned off the alarm, his knuckles stroked your cheek as you slept and stayed completely still. He smiled, feeling his heart beat terribly fast inside his chest the more time he spent looking at your beautiful face.

With a silent huff, he pushed himself up from the messy bed and patted his palms on his knees, his eyes felt heavy even though he slept well. Rubbing his eyes, he finally stood up and walked out of the bedroom, peering over to his window and noticing that the sun was coming up. Quietly, he walked over to the window and pulled down the blinds so you wouldn’t be woken up by the sunlight.

Thrawn returned to the main office outside of the bedroom and yawned to himself, turning to a door opposite his chambers on the other side of the office, dragging his feet as he entered what appeared to be a small kitchen. Turning on the light, he prepared himself a Caf, and also made you one as well whilst he was at it. He remembered the way you liked your Caf, he never forgot. You always used to complain that his was too strong and he needed milk, the memory made him chuckle as he stirred some sugar into your Caf.

Walking back to his office, he propped himself down on his chair and pulled up his inbox on his holopad, checking if he received any urgent messages for missions he had to tend to. To his relief, there was nothing sent, only the emails that had been viewed already from the days before. He scrolled through the news in boredom, sipping elegantly at his Caf cup and blowing softly on the dark brown liquid, he didn’t want a burned lip at this time of the morning.

There was nothing exciting happening in the galaxy, only reports of rebels and the different wanted warrants that were up. Thrawn kept scrolling until he eventually landed on a current holo video tape from a very familiar face. His daughter.

“-been kidnapped by the Empire, I need help, anyone’s help, to get my mom back... please-“ And the message was quickly cut out by Imperial protocol, covering the message with a jurisdiction sign that prohibited the rest of the message from being played.

Thrawn sat in his chair for a few tense seconds, scratching the back of his head, and guilt started pouring through. He wanted to let Omani know you were safe and not being tortured in some interrogation dungeon, he wanted her to know he cared for you, just as much as he cared for her. You were his family, and he told you already, he wasn’t going to let the rules of the Empire stop him from protecting you both. He swore by it.

With a quiet sigh, he switched off his holopad and rubbed his hands over his face, pulling down his eye sockets slightly before frowning and standing up from his seat. He had to get ready for the day, it was already getting a bit tight for time.

Before Thrawn went for a shower in his refresher, he collected his clothes from the bedroom very quietly and also tried not to get distracted by your beautiful sleeping form. He admired you as you tossed in the messy sheets of his bed, your jacket off and chucked on the floor beside the bed and abandoned.

Usually, he would be much more quick than this. By the time he got in his refresher, he would’ve been getting his Admiral uniform on by now if it weren’t for the fact he was taking care of someone, and that someone was a person he loved very much.

Thrawn winced as he thought of his hidden feelings for you, scrubbing the shampoo through his strands of wet navy hair and ducking his head under the water to rinse it out. He hated this feeling, the feeling of denial and secrecy. For years he kept his feelings towards you bottled up and he never once let it slip that he wanted to be fully with you instead of sleeping with you and letting you stay, on the odd occasion, for the night.

You had a somewhat relationship whilst you were at the Empire, but there was never much exchange of any feelings, the two of you avoided saying the three words as much as you could because the both of you were afraid of rejection. But the fact you knew Thrawn for your entire life was proof and valid reason as to why you fell in love with him so quickly. If anything, you always had a thing for him even if he was years older than you. It wasn’t until the Empire that those feelings started mixing with lust, then everything went south.

Sighing, Thrawn kept his head under the water for a long minute, his eyes looking at the floor but they were unfocused. All he thought about was you, You plagued his mind constantly, and the interaction he had with you last night left a lingering sensation on his skin that he could still feel. Thrawn couldn’t deny it at this point, he missed you, so much. Holding you last night made him realise that he longed for your attention and company for so long, yours and no one else’s.

You were so important to him, and as a 47 year old man, he could honestly say that he loved you. Back when he was younger and more unfamiliar with the feeling of love, he saw it more as a negative than positive. He didn’t want to get distracted by his work, or having the fear of something happening to you and having his heart broken. But now, things were different. You were here, in his chambers on Lothal, protected, safe, and sleeping in his bed with little to no anxiety. Yes, you were inside an Imperial base, but no one knew you were in his chambers apart from Pryce and her men. He didn’t need anyone else knowing.

Thrawn got out of the shower with an empty expression, brushing his teeth at a quick pace and spitting out his toothpaste in the bathroom sink where the tap was turned on. After rinsing out his mouth to get rid of the foul taste of morning breath, Thrawn wrapped a towel around his waist tight and opened his refresher doors, a cheeky yawn escaping his lips as he stretched out his limbs and walked out into the office once more.

As he done that, the door to his chambers opened and you walked out in all your loveliness, but also tiredness. Messy hair, tired eyes, wobbly legs, and wearing the same clothes you had on yesterday. You rubbed your eyes, opening them up and immediately freezing up when you saw Thrawn wearing nothing but the white towel over his hips.

“Maker- I’m sorry” You spluttered, covering up your eyes with your hands and turning around to avoid the chances of peeking through your fingers and looking at Thrawn’s almost naked form.

The Chiss smirked, leaning on the side of his desk and folding his arms over his chest as he noticed how tired you looked. The sound of the shower had obviously woken you up, either that or you had just woken up naturally.

“Pardon me for making such a brash comment, but you’ve seen worse, Rcati” Thrawn’s cool voice called out to you in the tense silence. Rolling your eyes underneath your hands, you let out a long sigh and felt your cheeks glow with embarrassment. He was right, but now wasn’t the time to be talking about that stuff. You had literally woken up minutes ago and one of the first things you see is the near naked body of your past lover. Great.

“Fair point, but I’ve just woken up” You chuckle, avoiding staring at his body as much as you could as your hands covered him from your sight. Thrawn kept the smirk on his face, tilting his head to the side and raising a brow as you turned around to head to his kitchen, obviously needing a Caf. As you stepped into the kitchen, you uncovered your eyes and looked back at Thrawn, this time without a blush and more of a casual way.

“You prepared me Caf?” You asked with a smile, the corners of your lips widening as Thrawn nodded his head and took a sip of his own Caf. You headed into the kitchen and came back out with the Caf cup in your hands, a joyful expression on your pretty face. Thrawn couldn’t help but stare, he was in awe at the way you delicately sipped at the scolding hot liquid, flinching back quickly as you cringed as your lip got slightly burned. It was the smallest details he payed attention to, even the way the wrinkes on the outer corners of your eyes deepened as you narrowed your gaze. He loved that he was able to experience you in all your Grace once again, this time in person and instead of the blue buzz of the hologram.

“The refreshers free for you to use, I have to get dressed and attend the morning briefing so I might not be here when you come out” Thrawn spoke with an unmissable disappointed tone, but you didn’t mention anything about it.

“I’ll get some clothes for you, I’m not having you wearing those rags all the time” He leaned off from his desk and walked towards you as your back pressed against the arch of the kitchen door. You tensed, going in to sip your Caf but immediately freezing as Thrawn came up to you, looking down at you with his piercing fiery gaze, and smiled.

“These aren’t rags, you Imperials are just too pristine” You defended, looking down at your white T-shirt and khaki combat trousers which were far from rags. Either way, Thrawn’s smile widened and he shrugged, crossing his arms over his bare chest and making it nearly impossible for you not to stare. Desperately keeping your eyes glued to his, You sipped your Caf through a clenched jaw until Thrawn made his next move.

“Well it’s either the clothes I give you, or nudity, and I’m sure you don’t want the second one” He bit back a grin as your eyes widened at his words, a flustered state consuming you once again as you spluttered out a small ‘the first one’ with a hot face. You felt rather agitated though, it was barely 24 hours since you had been captured and Thrawn was already having a form of authority over you. It pissed you off but at the same time, it made you feel taken care of. Your independence was irritated.

“I’ll leave you to get dressed then, don’t let me hold you back” You murmured, finishing off your Caf and placing the cup in the kitchen sink before scurrying past Thrawn who was still standing against the door frame with a coy expression on his handsome face.

“Do you still keep the towels in the bathroom?” You asked quickly, turning around to him once more just as you were about to enter the refresher.

“Of course, and feel free to use one of my shirts if I’m not back in time with the clothes. Also, if anyone comes in, just stay in my bedroom with the door locked and wait until they leave” Thrawn explained, nodding to you curtly before walking across the office and back into his room, sending you one last smile before he closed the door to get dressed. You stood alone outside for a few seconds, your face hot and eyes burning at the image of Thrawn’s bare chest and his biceps.

It was too early to be thinking of this stuff, in terms of time, and the amount of time you had been reunited with him. You were moving too fast, barely a day ago he saved you from definite torture and now all of a sudden he’s shirtless and wearing nothing but a towel, good Lord.

You entered the refresher and locked the door, undressing yourself from your rebel clothes and leaving them in a pile on the black bathroom floor. This felt so foreign, but at the same time you had been in this room before, a long time ago, many many times. So you remembered how to navigate your way around his refresher, the shower was in the same place and so was the sink, the interior was all the same.

As you stepped inside the shower, you felt a flush of relief wash over you as the cold water glided over your skin. It was a bit of a shock at first, but you remembered that Thrawn always had a cold shower in the morning to wake himself up, which was a pretty smart move.

Adjusting to the temperature of the water coming from the riser-kit shower head, you drenched yourself completely before grabbing hold of the bottles beside you on a small shower shelf. You stayed in the shower for about 10 minutes, mostly thinking about the strange situation you were in and not so much washing yourself, but you at least scrubbed your body and the places that needed to be washed.

When you came out, you wrapped your head and body in two large towels, larger than the towel Thrawn had around his waist. You looked at yourself in the mirror, face flushed at the memorable images of the man you once you used to sleep with, and they weren’t leaving your head anytime soon. You heard nothing outside of the refresher door, either Thrawn was still getting dressed or he left, and it was certainly not the first option.

You hoped he would at least bring you a tooth brush, you couldn’t do anything but swish some mouth wash in your mouth to keep your teeth as clean as you could for the time being. You warily walked out of the refresher, it wasn’t as cold as it was when you woke up but that was due to the cold shower. Walking to Thrawn’s room, you made sure he wasn’t in there before taking a step inside, looking around and noticing he had made the bed and layed out a shirt for you to wear. Your feet lead you to the side of the bed, picking up a small note beside the shirt which read in Cheunh:

‘I don’t have anything that might fit your hips or legs, but I hope this does you well till I come back, you can borrow my briefs as well if you’re uncomfortable wearing nothing on your legs’

Smiling at the letter, you placed it on the bedside table and dropped the towel from your body, tensing at the cool air but quickly covering yourself with Thrawn’s black T-shirt which was rather baggy on you and draped down to your thigh. Taking his offer, you, without looking as much as you could, went through his drawer and took out a pair of black briefs for you to wear. Practically everything Thrawn wore apart from his admiral uniform was black, he had the same taste in fashion as he did 14 years ago, but it was mostly clothes to suit the Empire.

You had a lot of time to waste, especially if Thrawn was away getting you clothes and attending morning briefings. You knew how long those briefings took, so you didn’t need to worry about him turning up randomly any time soon.

Tip toeing around his office in his baggy shirt and briefs, and you sat in his chair, feeling the arm rests with your palms as you nuzzled into the comforting internal cushioning against your back. You looked at all the things he had collected over the years, Sabine’s spray paint art being one of the most noticeable things. You stood up from his chair, moving slowly towards all the things stacked neatly on shelves and figuring out where to start.

On the shelf in the middle which was level height with you, a fairly large bag sat slumped on the shelf, looking deflated and like a half sack of starfruit. You, curiously, pulled it off the shelf and sat on the ground with it in your arms. Setting it in front of you, you unzipped the bag, quick with anticipation as your fingers fumbled with the zipper. You looked inside the bag, eyes concentrating on multiple pieces of clothing, photos, small trinkets and notes.

All which belonged to you.

Gasping, you eagerly pulled out most of the thing from the bag, small trinkets spilling from your arms and falling beside you. You looked at the clothing in your arms, identifying it as your old Commander uniform. As surprised as you were, you set the uniform on the ground, grimacing as you wiped your hands against one another before returning your gaze to the stuff in front of you.

You picked up a few of the notes lying about, all of them spelt in Cheunh or Sy Bisti, so others couldn’t understand you apart from Thrawn. You wanted to stop reading but you didn’t, drinking in the words you forgot you wrote years ago and realising just how obvious you were about your emotions. There was all sorts you talked about in your letters, from Thrawn’s welfare, to you talking about your day. Passing notes was a sentimental thing to you and Thrawn, it always had been. Instead of sending each other holo messages, you would deliver small notes and slip them underneath each other’s doors. Passing notes was also a thing you done back on Csilla, when the two of you couldn’t see one another as much. You picked up a few things you remember you had left behind before you escaped the Empire, things like small hair clips to keep your hair in place and also a hairbrush.

Shifting your attention to a bunch of photos at the bottom of the bag, your hand instinctively reached out and picked the small pile up. Your eyes greedily looked over the photos, a cold sweat raising over your skin as your eyes peered over the faces of your parents. A photo which was at the front of the pile was of you and your family before you were sent off to the Royal Imperial Academy, your mother on your left and father on your right. You had just turned 25 when that photo was taken, hair luscious and full of colour and your face free of wrinkles.

You sat for a long time looking at the photo, no tears in your eyes due to how shocked you were. You didn’t expect Thrawn to keep photos of you and your parents for so long, he must’ve collected the things you left in your room after you disappeared. The thought of him doing that made you smile.

Placing everything back inside the bag, you stood up and moved it back on the shelf where you originally found it, trying to make it look untouched.

You pressed your palms firmly on your back and leaned back, scrunching your face up as small cracks erupted from your spine had made you sigh in relief. Unbelievably, you let out a tired yawn and rubbed your eyes, walking to the kitchen to get yourself another Caf as you bummed a soft tune to yourself. The Caf machine buzzed as it poured the bitter hot liquid into the cup you used before (and made sure to clean out before using again). You picked up a sashe of brown sugar and yawned once again as you stirred it into the full cup of Caf. Leaning your lower back onto the edge of the kitchen counter, you continued humming softly as you sipped carefully on the piping cup of freshly made Caf.

For a while it was quiet, not much noise apart from the birds chirping outside Thrawn’s chamber windows. You trailed outside of the small kitchen and walked back into Thrawn’s neat and tidy bedroom, Caf in hand and bare feet padding against the black floors of the chamber. The sun was now fully risen, and by the looks of it, the day at the Imperial factory had started. Your eyebrow twitched, looking at the tall towers of smoke and wishing you could destroy it all if you had the power.

As you hunched yourself up onto the windowsill, which was wide enough to take your weight, you brought a leg up and let the other dangle. You felt quite listless, looking at the factory of grey and feeling like the energy was draining from you. You wondered if Omani was okay, you at least hoped she wasn’t panicking to the point of a panic attack about your imprisonment. You wish you could tell her Thrawn was taking care of you.

Resting your head on the windowsill, the sound of the chamber door opening echoed in the distance and alerted you out of your relaxed state. Just as you were about to hide under Thrawn’s bed in case it was an Imperial officer, Thrawn came through and looked around before spotting you.

“Oh, sorry, I should’ve announced first that it was me” He smiled awkwardly, holding a pile of clothes that he set down on the bed before standing back up and holding his hands behind his back.

“Don’t worry, I’ve not been up to much” You yawned, cradling your cup of Caf and taking continuous sips of it as Thrawn walked over and looked out of the window with you, being careful not to get too close and make sure no physical contact was possible. You frowned a bit at his caution.

“I’m afraid the Empire doesn’t offer much leisure, but I’ve sent your device to be repaired, so hopefully you can get in touch with Omani” Thrawn stated, returning his gaze to you and feeling his chest tighten as you smiled, your eyes gleaming.

“Really?” You sounded in disbelief, but Thrawn simply smiled more and nodded his head.

“T-thank you” You felt yourself heat up in the face but you ducked your head before Thrawn got a chance to see anything.

“It’s not an issue, Rcati,” Thrawn bowed his head very slightly. “I hate to cut chatter short but I’ve got multiple messages coming in, can I trust you to keep yourself occupied whilst I’m working?” The Chiss asked, an eyebrow raised.

“I swear you still treat me like a 4 year old, I’m a grown woman. Just as long as no lousy officer comes through the door, then I’ll be fine” You chuckled. Thrawn grinned, nodding his head and saying nothing before turning around and making his way out of his bedroom. Watching him until he was out of sight, you returned your gaze to outside, your Caf cup clutched close to your chest as you let out a small sigh of emptiness. You should probably get some more rest.

Looking at Thrawn’s bed, you smiled to yourself before landing on the ground with a soft thud from the window will. Placing the Caf cup onto the bed side table, you sat down on the comfy quilt and got yourself underneath it, silently apologising to Thrawn for messing it up after he made it barely an hour ago. You fell asleep smiling, head smushed between two feather-light pillows and body limp underneath the covers, staying like that for a few hours.

-

When you woke back up, there was a horrible pain in your abdomen. You didn’t sit up, immediately recognising the pain and cursing to yourself in Cheunh before cranking your head up and opening your legs whilst still lying on your side. You let out an agitated sigh, carefully launching yourself up and off the bed whilst still regaining consciousness. Thankfully there was no blood on the sheets or mattress, thank the maker. But Thrawn’s boxers weren’t so lucky, they stuck to you and the moment you stood up, it was as if a pool of water erupted.

“Fuck” You groaned, holding a hand underneath your crotch to make sure no blood spilled on the floors as you waddled over to the chamber door and grabbed onto the arch. You looked around the corner, spotting Thrawn working at his usual office chair. A sharp pain stabbed its way through your womb and you let out a cry of distress, immediately alerting the working Chiss who snapped his head up and saw you crouching on the floor with a scrunched up expression.

“Rcati! Are you okay?” He stood up from his seat and walked over to you at a faster than usual pace, his eyes wide and searching all over to see what was wrong. You nodded your head, reaching out to him and pulling yourself up as you breathed in.

“Period, do you have any towels?” You asked awkwardly, mouth curling up slightly to try and diffuse Thrawn’s worry but he knew exactly what you were talking about and breathed out a sigh of relief.

“I thought you were having a heart attack” He frowned.

“I might as well with all this pain” You replied sharply, clutching onto his white uniform and returning your hand to underneath your crotch.

“I’ll have someone send something” Thrawn nodded, helping you over to the refresher politely and staying by the doorway as he commed someone to bring sanitary products without a single shadow of embarrassment. You know he would get questions, why would a man who lived alone want sanitary products? Either way, you felt flattered.

“Are you feeling alright?” Thrawn asked, his back turned to you as you removed the boxers from your legs and slipped them off, sitting down on the toilet just for support so you didn’t fall over.

“I’m fine, you don’t need to be so polite about my modesty, you’ve seen me in this position before” You chuckled, looking up at Thrawn who smiled before turning his head to look at you, at your face and nowhere else as you sat hunched over, so there was no chance of him seeing anything else.

“That’s true, and you give me a heart attack every time it happens” He rolled his eyes, arms folded over his chest as he smiled down at you. You winced quietly as another cramp hit you, clutching your knees and doing your best to stay quiet.

“I’ll get you some medicine” Thrawn suggested, but you knew you wouldn’t get a choice in what he done. If it was to do with your health care, he wouldn’t waste a moment to help you feel better. He still showed that.

Thrawn returned with a glass of water and two tablets, without hesitation you took a mouthful of water and swallowed the tablets into your system, hopeful that they at least ease the pain off for the time being.

“I’d be lying if I said this was the worst pain I’d ever felt” You commented, leaning your elbows on your knees and looking at your feet.

“What do you mean?” Thrawn asked curiously, crouching down to your level and sitting on the ground with his back against the archway of the door.

“Birth was 100x more painful than this” You explained, eyes going unfocused as you remembered visions from your time in the hospital ward on Yavin, Ahsoka by your side as well as rebels who were waiting outside in anticipation.

“Could you maybe tell me about it? If it’s okay” Thrawn asked curiously, tilting his head to the side as he looked at you with gleaming eyes. He was glowing.

“It’s a long story” You sigh.

“I’ve got time” He smiled, nodding his head to you which made you let out a silent laugh.

“Alright... well, I was in my room with my roommate at the time when my water broke, I put up with 13 hours of contractions after that before I got the chance to go to the hospital,” You frown slightly, scratching your knees for no reason.

“I can’t remember much apart from the time Omani arrived, all I can remember is the pain. But it was all worth it, even down to the tear I got after I pushed her out. Through all the stitches and anaesthetics, needles and cramps, and she was so beautiful” You felt yourself tearing up and your voice cracked slightly as you continued talking to Thrawn.

“She was a pretty heavy baby, she cried a lot, but as soon as i held her, it was as if a switch was flicked... it got so quiet, she just looked up at me and knew I was her mama, she even lifted her head up a few times” Your smile widened as a tear rolled down your cheek, but you quickly wiped it off and swallowed down your feelings as you looked back at Thrawn.

He was enchanted by you, eyes wide and mouth pulled into a smile. You felt joyful just looking at him but the familiar feeling of reality dawned on you once again when you almost forgot that you were on opposite sides and this type of peace wouldn’t last forever.

“What did your parents think?” Thrawn asked. Your smile dropped and for a second you were close to crying.

“They loved her” You said through a broken voice, wiping the corners of your eyes as your lip quivered. Thrawn’s smile seemed to fade as he watched you struggle to keep in your tears. Something was up.

“They only got to see her a few times though” You sniffed, hands shaking as you clutched your knees once more and breathed deeply.

“How so?” Thrawn frowned, looking as though he was trying to figure out the answer himself before hearing yours.

“They... died” Was all you said before falling completely silent, avoiding Thrawn’s shocked gaze as he opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. He was startled by your answer, but he didn’t keep in touch with his family therefor he wouldn’t have found out from them. But it was still unfortunate, your mother cared for Thrawn like he was her own at times and he respected her and your father a lot, almost more than his own parents.

“I’m so sorry” He sounded genuine and sincere, his tone comforted you because you knew he wasn’t saying it just to pity you. He knew them just as well as you, and you knew this came as a shock to him.

“It was a ship crash, 5 years after Omani was born. Neither of them were angry I ran away from the Empire, if anything they supported me with everything I did. They even visited the place I was living in to see their granddaughter,” You wiped a tear.

“Tell you something though, they were really surprised that Omani was Chiss, they asked me so many questions about who the father was... but they pieced it together themselves and my mom literally started crying” You allowed yourself to laugh, your tears brushing away as you cleared your throat and returned your sight to Thrawn who was blushing.

“She said to me ‘(Y/N), I had a dream this would happen, this baby is a true blessing to our family and his, it unifies us’” You spoke, wincing slightly as another cramp creeped up on you.

“She’s right” Thrawn spoke up after what seemed forever. “Our girl is a blessing, and I don’t care what side she’s on, rebel or not” Thrawn leaned forward, shuffling over to you and taking your hands with his as he looked up at you from his sitting position on the floor.

“You’ve given me a great gift, and a gift I never thought I’d have the privilege to have” He looked scared, not as in a bad way but rather a fear that he’s not yet had the chance to meet the gift he speaks of. You understood what he was feeling and turned your hands around to hold his securely.

“And you’ve given me this gift as well, Thrawn” You smile, looking down at him as his scarlet eyes flickered from your eyes to your lips. You weren’t close enough to kiss, but you could tell he was thinking about it.

Just as either of you were about to do anything, there was a buzzer at the door and you jumped out of your skin as soon as it went off.

Thrawn chuckled, standing up and brushing his hand against your cheek before walking out of the refresher and towards his door, opening it to see the deliverer who was sent to his chambers.

“Just as you requested Sir” They said sternly, almost fearfully. You sat on the toilet with not much thought, only listening into the conversation as the deliverer was dismissed and Thrawn closed the door, returning to you. Where he wanted to be the most.

#star wars #x reader #grand admiral thrawn #thrawn #thrawn x reader #star wars rebels

[yetanotherhoeforpedro]

Sinfully Armored

Chapter 6 - Anger Issues

Chapter 5

A/N: I’m sorry for totally mischaracterizing Thrawn, but I wanted him to be like this for the sake of the story…Please excuse my assumptions about Mandalorian culture...Also, a little CPR lesson to fulfill my educational mandate.

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“Am I supposed to quiver from fear at that name?” you drawled sarcastically, “Because, obviously, I am not.”

Her smile only grew wider. “Trust me, one day you will.”

“Can’t wait.” You flashed her a saccharine smile.

“You wouldn’t be joking if you knew what I am capable of, Jedi,” she warned you, the feigned amusement gone.

“You sure are capable of boring me to death.” You let out a yawn in emphasis.

“Darling, why must you hurt me like that?” Her holographic figure touched her chest dramatically.

“Quit the theatrics and get to the point,” Mando intercepted.

“Straightforward. I like that in a man.” She winked at him and you would have liked to rip her throat out simply for that.

“Anyway, you might not recognize my name, but I’m sure you know Grand Admiral Thrawn,” she went on. A shocked expression crossed your face before you could suppress it.

“I thought so,” she said triumphantly. “Now, I don’t know why he went through all this trouble just to get…you,” she wrinkled her nose in disgust, “but he must have his reasons. I guess he’ll tell you soon enough.”

“He’s coming?” It was an effort to keep your voice from shaking.

“Soon. Since you’ll not get out of this cell, I suggest you make yourselves comfortable.” With that, her holographic form dissolved.

At least you could let yourself crumble a bit now that she was no longer there to witness it. You began pacing the tiny cell while clenching and unclenching your hands. You just had to think…Maker, why couldn’t you think? There had to be some way out of here, you couldn’t be trapped. You couldn’t be left at someone else’s mercy, you couldn’t stay here, you had to get out…

A broad hand clamped down on your shoulder and halted your relentless pacing.

“What’s going on?” Mando asked as he spun you to face him.

“We have to get out of here,” you replied softly, still lost in your anxious thought.

“I know that.” He sighed. “Who is Thrawn?”

There had to be something in your expression then, because he added in a softer voice: “What did the bastard do to you?”

You swallowed against the dryness in your throat. “He…um…he…killed my family,” you breathed out. Though the truth was a bit more complex, he essentially did. Just then did you realize that you had never voiced it before anyone but Luke…and him.

“I’m sorry,” Mando responded after a moment.

“It’s okay,” you answered, though it obviously wasn’t. You simply couldn’t come up with anything else to say.

“Why would he be after you?” he inquired carefully.

“I’m not sure…maybe to finish what he started?” But that wouldn’t make sense, he could have killed you already…Instead, he was on his way here. Unless…unless he wanted to do it himself? You shook the thought off. “I thought…I believed him to be dead until a few days ago.”

You pulled your arms around yourself out of habit. You were used to giving solstice to yourself, to being the only one present when you spiraled downwards. But you weren’t alone right now and Mando was strangely good at comforting you. He pulled you in for a soft embrace and the feel of his arms around you served as a lifeline that kept you together.

“That’s the third time today,” you murmured into his armored chest.

“What?”

“The third time you caught me…I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I’m usually not this…weak…” You took a deep breath and were glad he could not see your face right now. Your cheeks were ablaze from embarrassment. Yeah, you had issues, but usually, you got it together…But everything has been piling up for the last few days and threatened to overwhelm you in a mighty avalanche.

“You’re not weak,” he replied firmly and tangled one of his hands into your hair. “You have a warrior’s heart, so you are used to confronting everything with violence. But this…this is not something you can beat back, it’s something you have to allow in and…you don’t want to feel helpless, so you’ve been suppressing it.”

Perplexed, you looked up at him. “Thanks for the psycho-analysis, though it was totally uncalled for.”

“You’re welcome,” he replied, mirroring your sarcasm, “Now let’s get out of here.”

You nodded and the two of you began probing the wall for flaws. There didn’t seem to be a single spot your lightsaber could penetrate.

After a few minutes, you groaned in frustration. “She was right, this is pointless.”

“Calm down,” Mando said softly, “There’s more walls.” He pointed upwards and you silently cursed yourself for not even thinking of that. When had your common sense left you?

However, the ceiling was similarly secured. “Okay, now you can be frustrated,” Mando sighed.

“Not yet. There’s one more wall.” You grinned at him. “Do you suppose they would expect their prisoners to just…cut a hole into the floor?”

“Probably not, as prisoners usually don’t have any weapons on them and as it would be a certain death wish?” Mando supplied.

“Perhaps. But not for a Jedi and a Mandalorian.” You winked at him before slamming your lightsaber into the floor.

Nothing.

“Okay, so maybe they did expect this,” you conceded while releasing a wave of breath. “What do we do now?”

“To be honest, I don’t know,” your copilot responded in a grim voice, “The walls are impenetrable for your Jedi weapons, so what could possibly breach them? They seem to be made out of pure Beskar.”

“But…to make a whole cell out of Beskar…How could anyone, especially the remnants of the Empire, afford that?” you queried.

“Um…I think I heard that the Empire sacked almost the entirety of Beskar reserves after they…killed all those Jedi.” Mando swallowed.

“I can’t believe I’ve never heard of this,” you murmured, “Though I suppose it makes sense, what better way to protect yourself against the remnants of the Jedi than to possess the one thing lightsabers cannot cut through…” You paused for a second. “Mando, I know…I shouldn’t ask this and you probably shouldn’t tell me, but…why can’t it cut through Beskar? I know you forge all sort of things out of the material, so it has to have a melting point…and usually, lazers are as hot as it gets…”

Mando took his time to respond. “I guess you’re right…I never…never truly considered this,” he admitted.

“So maybe we should use a different source of heat?” you suggested and pointed to his weapon’s arsenal.

“It’s worth a try…and I guess that if I shielded you, I could protect us from the thick of the blow. If we put as much distance between us and the heatwave, we might survive it,” he wagered.

“I think it’s worth the risk,” you decided, “And I’ll…I’ll send a message to Artoo in case we don’t make it out. Luke will rescue Grogu if we…if we don’t make it.”

Mando nodded slowly. “Yes, I suppose there’s no other way. Get in that corner.” You did as he told you and covered in the corner while contacting Artoo. The cell was tiny, but this had to work. It just had to.

You studied Mando extensively as he placed the detonator on the opposite wall. If you were to die in a few seconds, at least he would be the last thing you saw. You couldn’t even judge yourself for harboring these feelings, there was no point to it anymore. For some reason, you felt oddly light for the first time in your life.

“Mando,” you began as he crouched down in front of you, overcome by the odd urge to tell him…you weren’t sure what exactly.

“It’s gonna be alright,” he interrupted you and put his arms around you. When you heard him push a few buttons on his glove, you instinctively closed your eyes. “I know,” you responded before the bomb went off.

It all happened too fast to realize it, but you recalled the feel of getting pressed back into the wall by something hard, pressing the air out of your lungs, as a loud bang pierced the air.

When you opened your eyes again, dark smoke filled the air and obscured your sight. The resonating ring of the explosion limited your hearing. You still had no grip on the Force; therefore, you were left almost completely senseless.

“Mando!” you yelled into the darkness while reaching for him blindly with your hands. Why wasn’t he next to you? Where was he? Your mind turned blank besides that mantra while you scrambled around on all fours, searching for any sign of him.

Finally, you felt something hard and cold under your hands. “Mando?” you gasped softly, the smoke slowly clearing and the ringing in your ears subsiding. He was eerily still.

“Mando.” You grabbed at his shoulders and shook him violently. No reaction. “Mando!” you screamed, “Wake up!” Maker, why was he not moving? With trembling movements, you pushed your finger under his helmet, searching for his pulse.

There. Something. It was weak, but it was there. You sighed in relief, though it was short-lived as you noticed that it was getting fainter and fainter, until it completely ceased. Shit. You had to do something.

“Mando, I am so sorry…I promise…I promise I won’t look.” You took a deep breath before you began to undo his chest piece. “I’m sorry,” you repeated before closing your eyes and removing his helmet. You leaned in to check his breathing. Nothing.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t let you die,” you whispered before you moved your hands to the middle his chest. You pressed down forcefully 30 times, then you moved to his head. You hesitated, but only for a split second, and crushed your lips on his. You blew as much breath as you had left in you into his airways twice before going back to his chest and repeated the motion countless times. Thanks to the adrenaline, your pushes and breaths remained sturdy, even after you believed you had no force left in you.

“Breathe, Mando,” you sobbed before moving to his lips again. You felt something stirring under your hands then and halted. And sure enough, you felt a feeble breath caressing your cheek. “Thank the Maker,” you breathed out as you took in the noticeable heaving of his chest. His torso was perfectly toned with muscles, his chest hair…

Realizing your blunder, you quickly shut your eyelids again and turned around. It was only his chest…surely, there was some loophole in his codex for that…there had to be. Did you just save his life only to destroy his way of life? Shit, how could you have been this careless? It must have been the ecstasy of the moment. He never had to know you saw anything.

The soft exclamation of your first name made you still.

“Mando?” Your voice cracked.

“You…you saved my life,” he whispered.

You shrugged. “Don’t mention it. I…I didn’t look.”

“I know. I trust you,” Mando replied, still straining for clear breaths.

You swallowed loudly. “Um…we have to get out of here. Do you think…you can walk?”

“Yes. I think the impact simply rendered me unconscious. Nothing severe.” You heard him don his armor again as he got up. Mando limped past you to the gaping whole in the wall. “I didn’t think this would work,” he murmured in wonder as you followed him out.

“Shit, how do we get back to the ship?” you hissed as the two of you left the first hallway. “I don’t remember the turns we took.”

“Well, thank the Maker you have me then,” Mando joked, though there no real lightness in his tone. “My helmet can track footsteps, so we’ll just follow them back to the ship.” He grabbed your hand and began to lead the way.

In spite of his slight limp, you had to hurry to keep up with his speed as he all but dragged you through the labyrinth of corridors. To your surprise, not a single droid crossed your path. They probably believed you were securely confined and you couldn’t help feeling a little smug at outwitting them.

You took another right turn and saw the entryway to your ship draw closer. “Artoo,” you spoke into your comm, “open the ship. We’re almost there!” He didn’t respond. “Artoo?” you repeated. No reply.

You halted in your tracks, pulling Mando back as well through the connection of your hands. “Something’s not right.” Mando slowly turned to you.

“Not this again,” he groaned.

“Artoo is not responding. This has to be another trap,” you argued.

“Do we have another choice? Let’s just get back to the ship already.” He pulled at your hand and you complied reluctantly.

“Artoo?” you tried again while you ran towards the docking place. Again, no reaction.

You were almost there, only a couple more meters.

“Now, where do you think you’re going?” an unfamiliar voice called.

You spun around in horror to face the blue skinned man standing behind you. His eyes were glowing in an unnervingly intense shade of red.

“Thrawn,” you uttered, your voice deprived of any emotions.

“It’s an honor to finally meet you. I have such big plans for you.” He produced a feline grin. Gosh, this had to be serious if he was getting his own hands dirty. “Though I must say, I find it very rude of you to disregard my hospitality like that.”

“Come on,” Mando whispered to you and pulled you a step back. But this was not a confrontation you wanted to avoid.

“Get back to the ship,” you ordered him absentmindedly, “I’ll deal with this.”

“I’m not gonna leave you,” he murmured softly.

“How poignant,” Thrawn drawled, “A Jedi and a Mandalorian. It has an air of poetry to it, don’t you think?”

“Shut up.” Your eyes narrowed on Thrawn. “This doesn’t concern him, it’s between you and me.”

“I wouldn’t be too sure about that.” Your enemy's red eyes narrowed as well. “Guards, get the Mandalorian. I’ll deal with the girl.”

“Let’s go,” Mando urged once more, “We can still make it.”

You shook your head. Nothing would stand between you and your revenge now. This was the moment you had been waiting for you whole life. Jedi or not, you would relish in seeing the life drain from his alien eyes.

“Will you truly let your past take your future from you?” The disbelief and anger in his voice almost snapped you out of your madness. Almost.

He grunted in exasperation, but made no move to step away from you. Neither did he let go of your hand. “Then we’ll fight or way out together.” He dropped your hand the moment the guards arrived.

“Honestly, this is too sweet. The two of you.” Thrawn chuckled while pointing from him to you and back.

Not able to resist the temptation anymore, you lunged at him. Somehow, he sidestepped you easily, resulting in your blow landing in thin air. Somewhere behind you, you heard blastershots go off. You didn’t dare turn around to see how your friend was faring.

“Since when do Jedi,” the Grand Admiral spat out the word, “attack the defenseless?”

“I don’t mind making an exception for you,” you retorted, refusing to let his words get under your skin.

“Well, sorry to disappoint, but I’m not gonna fight you.” He smiled.

“Oh, that’s alright, I’m totally fine with just killing you then.” You smiled back at him.

“I’m afraid that won’t be an option,” he said and stepped aside to reveal the red-haired woman – Gad – emerging.

She unsheathed a purple lightsaber as she strode towards you in wide steps, her unbound red curls swirling around her like a living flame. “I’ve been looking forward to this moment for quite some time now.”

“Who are you?” you asked her, completely baffled.

“You know my name already,” she stated dryly.

“You know I’m not talking about your name.” As she drew closer, you reflectively positioned yourself into a fighting stance.

“I told you you would learn to fear me. Today is the day,” she replied instead, a devilish smile plastered on her face. Something tickled the back of your mind, but it was gone before you could grasp it. There was something about this woman…

With surprising precision, your enemy attacked. You deflected her blow and used her slight instability following the attack to return a blow, but she reacted quickly and spun to the side. In a movement too fast for your eyes to follow, she jabbed at your side. Without the Force, you were completely blind to the sudden strike and could only be glad that you redirected the blow in the last second to make it less fatal. Instead of directly stabbing you into your side, her blade only grazed at your back. You hissed in agony as it scratched your skin. Maker, it had been years since you last received a wound from another lightsaber, you had almost forgotten the intense burn of it.

“Do I need to remind you to not kill her?” Thrawn warned from the sidelines.

“Sure, sure.” Your opponent waved him off. “But you gotta let me have a little fun.”

You snarled at her and jabbed her right back, but she avoided your advance with a feline grace. She barked out a short laugh. “Oh, I haven’t had this much fun in years!” she shouted in ecstatic delight before charging at you again.

Following that, your fighting style went from offensive to defensive really quickly. While you felt the rage boiling inside you, you knew attacking her would be your doom. Mando was right, you should have fled when you had the chance. Mando…

Not able to stop yourself, you glanced over at him for a moment. He was practically surrounded by droids with electrostaffs and to your surprise, held a dark lightsaber in his hand himself.

Punishment for your distraction followed suit, as your rival kicked you hard, sending your lightsaber flying from your grasp. In panic, you tried to call it back to you, but there was still no tangible connection to the Force.

She pushed her glowing blade right up to your throat and you gulped at the heat radiating from it. “Game over, Jedi.” The word held even more venom coming from Gad’s mouth then it did when Thrawn had used it.

“You had your moment. Now get her to the cell,” Thrawn ordered, not commenting on the fight. You saw the frustration gleaming in Gad’s eyes, but she obliged. She turned her blade off before violently forcing your hands behind your back.

“This is not over,” she whispered into your ear and while you tried to fight it, you couldn’t suppress the terror her words awoke in you. You had never seen anyone fight like that, her speed and agility had appeared almost unnatural.

You twisted your head back to look past her at Mando, who was being forced to his feet by his opponents. Terrible guilt overcame you once again, had you not been this bent on getting your revenge…

---------------------------------------------

“This sucks,” you complained. At this point, you were absolutely positive you’d go insane if you stared at the blank metallic wall in front of you in silence for another minute. Still, no reply came. “Mando, look,” you tried again with a sigh, “I’m – “

“Just shut up, okay?” a low voice cut you off. “I don’t wanna hear anything about it.” The audible resolve made you cease your pathetic attempts at apologizing. Frustration getting the better of you, you strained against your chains for what was probably the hundredth time in the last two hours.

“Would you stop that already? We’re not getting out of here,” your companion growled at you from the other side of the room. Well, at least he was finally addressing you, no matter how aggressively. Baby steps. So, you swallowed your rising anger back down and sagged against your confinements.

“I will get us out of here,” you responded quietly, though you weren’t entirely sure who you were making the promise to.

Mando simply scoffed in answer. It was extremely weird to hear him make these sounds without his mask modulating them, but the unpleasant reason for him being unmasked made you flinch slightly. Maker, how did you let this happen? Of course, the answer was clear, as, once again, your insufferable hotheadedness was to blame.

Another deep sigh left your body. “Shut. Up,” Mando snapped.

“I wasn’t saying anything,” you sneered back. So much for trying to resolve this conflict…

“Nar’Sheb, di’kut!“ Mando yelled back. Wow, insults in Mando’a. That was a new one.

“Okay, I have no idea what you just said, but could you please try to calm down? I’m sorry…about all of this,” you attempted in a soft voice.

“Doesn’t change a damn thing.”

The two of you were silent for a long time after that, the only noises in your cell the shallow breaths you took.

“I…I don’t know what overcame me…I just…saw him and…snapped,” you admitted into the quiet.

“I know,” Mando said, his voice a bit more serene, “but I would have thought you had a better grip on yourself. Considering you’re a Jedi.”

“This has nothing to do with me being a Jedi…this was about me and my family and he had them kil…” You took a deep breath.

“Do you think I don’t know what that’s like?” To your surprise, the gentleness had left his tone again. “The Empire killed my parents, but am I out there risking everything just to get ‘justice’? No. Because there is no such thing. No matter how many of them I might kill, it would never make it right. Killing them would not turn my parents alive again.”

You had no idea what to reply to that, so you opted for silence. It had been incredibly inconsiderate of you…You never even thought about his past, nor about that of all the other victims of the Empire. There were countless of them, but did they act as foolishly as you?

Killing individuals and seeking revenge above all was not harming the Empire. You had to focus on the big picture, strike at its heart…Maker, why was this only just now making sense to you? Had your judgement been so clouded by your emotions the entire time? And there you were, desperately suppressing your feelings for Mando while you let the truly harmful feelings – hate and fear – flourish inside of you?

“Fuck Mando, you’re right. I’m a fool. And a bad Jedi. But we have to think of a way to get out of here and fix this.”

“I know. They still have Grogu,” Mando replied solemnly.

“I’m sorry,” you said again.

“Stop apologizing,” he growled.

“Yeah, I’m sor – “ You cut yourself off.

“You know, besides failing Grogu, I am also a letdown for the Mandalore now,” he exhaled softly.

“What are you talking about?”

“That…sword I wielded earlier…it’s crucial to us. Whoever wins it in a fight is the rightful Leader of the Mandalore. When Grogu had been…taken by the Empire, I accidentally obtained it in a fight, even though I…didn’t really care about all that…power,” he explained.

“Do you now?”

The question seemed to catch him off guard. “What?”

“Do you want to be the Leader of the Mandalore now?” you asked curiously.

“I…I don’t know.” He sounded surprised at his own answer. “And I suppose now that I…lost it again, I’ll never know.”

Maker, as if you didn’t feel bad enough about yourself already. You swallowed the apology down before it could roll off your tongue.

“Not that I could even be a true Mandalorian anymore…” he added gravely.

“Mando, stop that. Just because…yeah, they saw your face, but it…it wasn’t your choice…” Which made this whole thing so much worse. It should have been his decision whether he wanted to reveal himself or not, but you took that away from him. Your rash, emotional decisions ruined his life. You were not used to that, as you were usually the only one facing the consequences… “Tell you what. We’ll kill them all and it’ll be like no one ever saw you.”

“Please, don’t joke about this,” he growled.

“I wasn’t…that was a promise, not a joke. I want them dead for what they did to you. I’ll avenge you, if it’s the last thing I do,” you vowed and meant it. You would make this right.

“You never learn, do you?” He sighed. “Revenge is what got us here. It’ll not be what gets us out of here.”

“I know,” you admitted quietly. You had come to that conclusion yourself mere minutes ago, but the habits of a lifetime were not easily changed. “But…you are still a full-fledged Mandalorian. The helmet is not obligatory, it was you own…way, right?” It was a poor attempt at comforting him.

“You’re one to talk about the irrelevance of personal ways…Do you seriously think I have not realized how badly you were trying to push me away? How you desperately tried to keep emotional distance? Why is it that you cling to that? I know not all Jedi behave that way, Luke…” He stopped.

“How do you know so much about Luke and his preferences?” you inquired and knew you hit the correct spot by his following silence.

“I…I shouldn’t have asked that,” you said after a while, regretting that your assumption was correct. “And you’re right, I have a…strange set of personal rules. But I am slowly realizing that…that I have no reason to shackle myself. I have clung to the old Jedi Codex which absolutely prohibited any romantic relations for the Jedi to honor those who…saved me. However, at the same time, I let hate and fear fester inside of me…And maybe I am not allowing myself to feel any…emotional attachment because…because of that hate and fear. To punish myself by not allowing those…positive feelings in and out of fear that…if I open myself and…love someone, I…I’ll lose them.” The words spilled out of you before you could register what you were saying. But somehow, voicing it made it even more clear. You had to change your foolish ways, as hard and painful as that may be. Mando said that you were used to being a warrior and that this was a different battle…Maybe he was right. Still, you believed your will – or rather stubbornness – to be strong enough to emerge vicious from this fight.

“Sometimes I wish…I could just take the helmet off and never put it on again,” Mando admitted quietly, “But I…who am I when I’m not the Mandalorian? The helmet and the armor give me the power to protect those I love and I am willing to make that sacrifice for that.”

You almost turned around to face him at that. Almost.

“But…you could have both. You could take the helmet off and remain a Mandalorian,” you argued softly.

“No. That’s simply not possible. There might be those who consider themselves Mandalorians and still take their helmet off, but…that’s not the Way. True Mandalorians barely expose themselves in front of other humans,” he replied firmly.

“Barely?” Curiosity coated your voice.

“Well…you can of course take it off in front of your…soulmate,” he disclosed quietly.

“Soulmate?”

“We take the whole…concept of souls really…seriously. ‘Manda’ actually means ‘soul’ and those who…stray from the Way, are ‘dar’manda’ – soulless.” You waited patiently for him to continue, totally intrigued by the description of his culture. His voice dropped a little: “When we…form a life union with our love, we share our soul with them. And…’Kir’manir’ means ‘to give one a soul’, but it’s also our term for ‘adopt’…Our families don’t necessarily share the same blood, and it’s also possible to…divorce your child or parent – Dar’buir…” You heard him take in a sharp breath before he continued. “When I…when my parents died, the Mandalorians took me in. They gave me a soul. I could never turn my back on that.”

“I…I don’t know what to say,” you confessed, “Thank you for sharing this with me…After my parents and my sister died, me and my little sister…it’s a long story, but we managed to flee from our home planet and…an old Jedi master who survived Order 66, took us in and taught us…however reluctantly…about the Jedi Order. My mother was one of them, so we…already knew the basics, but Master Yo…he helped us connect to the Force and explained the Jedi Codex to us. I always wanted to be a Jedi so I’d never be in a position where I couldn’t protect those I loved again…” You looked around. “Yet, here I am. It’s kind of ironic.”

“Where is your sister now?” Mando asked carefully.

“I…I don’t know. She just…left one day. She didn’t want to have anything to do with the Jedi. Or me.” You shrugged and ignored the sting you still felt after all those years.

“I’m…sorry,” Mando offered and you let out a breathless laughter. Apparently, he didn’t have an alternative expression either.

“It’s okay. Both of us dealt with the pain differently and I…I cannot condemn her for hating me. I let our sister die,” you whispered.

Your companion was silent, and you couldn’t blame him. What could one say in response to that?

“We will get out of here,” Mando vowed quietly after a while.

“I know. I just don’t know how yet.”

“We’ll find a way.” His voice held so much confidence that you couldn’t help believing him for a moment. “Close your eyes,” he added and though you were puzzled, you obeyed. “Turn around.” The chains that bound you rattled loudly as you did as he told you. A short silence followed, but before you could ask him what this was about, you felt his lips on yours.

The kiss was heartbreakingly tender and conveyed all the things the two of you had left unsaid. Mando gently cupped your cheek before breaking away. A breath of air touched your cheek as he leaned in to whisper into your ear: “And by the way, I won.”

In spite of your bleak situation, a smile formed on your lips. “No, you didn’t.”

Masterlist

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Taglist

@niiight-dreamerrrr

#the mandalorian/reader #din djarin/reader #slow burn #the mandalorian #mandalorian fanfic #star wars #too much direct speech #mando lowkey being a therapist #din djarin x reader #the mandolorian x reader

[politicalmamaduck]

Sabacc and Secrets

Thrawn and Ar’alani play sabacc with a smuggling ring. Written for @arcticelves, for the tarot card themed prompt "The Fool": madness, cliffs, gambling, innocence, recklessness. I hope you will like this! Read it on AO3 here.

“The Aristocra find your conduct unbecoming, Captain.” Ar’alani’s tone was not scolding, but rather wry, with raised eyebrows and upturned lips to match. It was not a full smile, nor did Chiss eyes twinkle, but Thrawn could not help thinking a lesser species would describe her expression thusly. 

Thrawn would rather describe his friend and colleague as a work of art. She was not only a model officer, displaying keen intelligence, an eagerness to serve, and trim physical fitness, but also a willingness to listen and learn. She was not overly sentimental nor complacent, neither a slave to emotion or tradition. 

Ar’alani was one of the few beings Thrawn ever trusted, from the moment they met at the Academy on Naporar. He knew the feeling was mutual. Their history of teamwork spoke for itself.

Therefore, he would bring her into his confidence, entrust her with his plan that would bring them one step closer to their enemy’s identity, and once more bring glory to the Ascendancy. 

If she would take the gamble with him, despite what the Aristocracy would see as recklessness, all the better. 

“Do you agree, Admiral?” He knew she did not. What she said next mattered, however, for the form of his planning. 

“You know I don’t agree, Thrawn. However, you do need to learn to play the political game better. I won’t always be there to help you smooth things over afterward.”

She told him that before, numerous times. 

“I am grateful for you and your assistance, Admiral.”

Ar’alani sighed. “What are you planning, Thrawn?”

He couldn’t resist smiling in turn.

Ar’alani couldn’t help but thinking that this time, truly, would be the time Thrawn’s recklessness, or madness, as some of the Aristocra would put it, would get them killed. 

Here they were, diving over a cliff in a small speeder, chasing criminals--smugglers, most likely, not a full crime syndicate--who Thrawn believed had ties to those who wished to destroy the Ascendancy. There were still too many unanswered questions, too many variables to pinpoint a particular target or assailant. It was unsettling, Ar’alani thought, shifting in her seat as Thrawn guided them closer to the smugglers’ hideout. 

She had no doubt, however, that they would be up to the challenge, when their adversary revealed themself. She trusted Thrawn, trusted herself. 

Even if she wasn’t comfortable with that dive over the cliffs just moments before, or playing a high stakes sabacc game with these criminals. Just being Chiss would put them in danger. If the criminals discovered their true identities--Ar’alani wouldn’t allow herself to continue the thought.  

She’d have to deal with the aftermath and the Aristocra regardless. She steeled her spine and took a deep breath as Thrawn landed the speeder. He nodded at her as they entered the lair. No words were necessary. They would play their parts, obtain information and hopefully cargo, and leave with their heads held high, if all went according to plan. 

It was hard to see inside the cave; the glow-lamps placed throughout did not reach through all the shadows and curves to penetrate the pockets of darkness fully. Crates of cargo stacked upon each other loomed haphazardly above and to their sides. They pressed forward, traveling deeper as the ground sloped downward into the space beneath the mountain, despite the potential for an ambush they’d never see coming. Ar’alani could hear voices up ahead, and laughter. Credit chips clacked together, and mugs thunked against a table. 

Ar’alani never could see the appeal in gambling or gaming, and she assumed Thrawn felt the same way. It was enough to gamble with their warriors’ lives on a mission. She ran a hand through her wig and adjusted her glasses to be sure they were in place, and took Thrawn’s hand as they entered the smugglers’ den. 

No blaster fire or other weapons met them, but their arrival did cause a stir. 

“We weren’t expecting any more tonight.”

“Who are the newcomers? Didn’t see them last time.” 

“Friends, please, may we join?” Thrawn asked. “My partner and I would like to buy in for this round.”

Ar’alani smiled and nodded at the smuggler who approached to her left, trying to appear coy and flirtatious.

“What can I get you to drink?” he asked, reaching to take her arm. She tried not to recoil from his touch, and hoped he wouldn’t notice how cool her Chiss skin was. At the same time, she reminded herself they had no reason to suspect she and Thrawn were Chiss at all, and she highly doubted they were familiar with Pantoran physiology either. 

“Ales for us both, please,” she said, smiling once more. After he departed to grab their drinks, she followed Thrawn to the sabacc table.

They made idle conversation while waiting for the cards to be dealt. The ale was not to Ar’alani’s taste, as she suspected, but it was a safer choice than any of the local homebrews. Smugglers of this sort wouldn’t stock fine Corellian whiskey, unless they were siphoning from their cargo. She listened carefully to the conversational cadences; she would gather the intelligence, and lose at cards, while Thrawn played to win. 

The cards dealt, each player called out their opening total. Ar’alani held The Queen of Air and Darkness and Demise. -15 wasn’t a bad total, but the card titles gave her pause. She was not superstitious, nor were her species, and she pushed her thoughts away to concentrate. 

Next to her, Thrawn chose to draw on his first turn. Ar’alani followed suit, drawing an eight. She would definitely lose at -7.    

Thrawn’s expression was unreadable. She did not dare ask him anything, to draw more attention to them, but she did gently place her hand on his arm, to reassure herself, if nothing else. 

With their cards drawn, Ar’alani listened to the chatter around them, allowing her focus to drift away from the game. There would be another shipment from this location next week, she deduced. The smugglers would meet the buyer in deep space. 

On the next turn, Thrawn stood. Ar’alani chose to draw again, pulling 11. Her hand was far worse, and she hoped Thrawn’s was far better. This time, she felt Thrawn’s hand on her own arm to reassure her. She appreciated the gesture for what it was, for she knew Thrawn was never nervous. 

Their second turns completed, starting with the dealer, everyone called their final hand. Thrawn inclined his head ever so slightly. He nodded to Ar’alani, who met his eyes. 

Gasps arose around the table as Thrawn laid down his cards. “Idiot’s Array,” he said, without gloating. He won. Ar’alani grinned. 

Her grin faded, however, when across the table, a burly human rose and slammed his fist down. “Not fair,” he bellowed. “This newcomer must have cheated.”

Thrawn shook his head. “I played an honest game, just as you did.”

“Take it easy, buddy,” another smuggler said, clapping the burly man on the back. “Have another drink and we’ll play another round.” 

“Like hell we will,” the burly man said, pushing his colleague away. He fell down to the floor, knocking over a chair. Chaos reigned from then, as fights erupted across the bar. A Gamorrean took a swing at the burly man, trying to bring him down, while other humans helped their compatriot off the floor. 

Thrawn and Ar’alani grabbed their winnings and ran for the entrance, blaster fire beginning to erupt behind them. They wouldn’t be able to carry any of the cargo, but at least what they learned was safe in their brains--and other information inconspicuously documented on their holorecorders. 

“They headed for the entrance!” someone yelled from behind them. They ran, hurtling through the darkness, dodging the crate towers as best they could. Ar’alani hit the corner of one with her hip; she’d have dark bruising later, but the bruise was worth her life. 

The blaster fire followed them as well; one hit a crate, spilling its contents and hopefully delaying their assailants. 

As they emerged from the cave’s darkness into the night, Ar’alani and Thrawn leaped into their speeder, barely settling in before taking off.  

Her heart still racing, Ar’alani turned to Thrawn. “Are you injured?”

“Just minor scrapes,” he replied. “And you?”

“I’ll have a large bruise tomorrow, but otherwise, I’m fine.”

Thrawn nodded. “Good. Thank you for your assistance. I trust you noticed their pattern?” 

“Of course. We’ll be ready for their next shipment. Perhaps then we can uncover their buyer’s identity.”

“Indeed,” Thrawn said, appearing deep in thought. 

They arrived back at their ship, docked in the closest city’s outskirts, without incident. They loaded the speeder, then strapped in for takeoff. Once their coordinates were set and the autopilot engaged, Ar’alani finally allowed herself to relax. She wanted to ask Thrawn how he played such a hand, but he spoke first.

“I will grab the medkit, if you will allow me to see to your injury?” His tone was quiet, unlike his usual confidence. The fighting would not have fazed him, certainly, she thought. Was there something she missed?

“Yes, thank you,” she replied, unstrapping herself and following him toward the bunks. He grabbed the kit from a shelf, and she sat down, allowing him to sit next to her. 

“Please accept my apologies for your injury, and what you will have to explain to the Aristocra when we encounter these smugglers next,” he started. 

Ar’alani laughed. “I will deal with them when I have to. How did you play such a hand?”

Thrawn put down the bacta patches and met her eyes. “I analyzed the game, the players, their weaknesses. I assumed those across the table would be overconfident, and pull too many cards and drinks.”

She nodded. “A sound strategy, as always.” 

“There is no one else with whom I would rather strategize.”

Ar’alani smiled as Thrawn placed a hand on her cheek. His hand was soft, gentle. As he leaned in to kiss her, she thought the gamble had been worth it.

#thrawn x ar'alani #ar'alani #admiral ar'alani #grand admiral thrawn #thrawn #fan fiction #star wars #my writing #arcticelves #tumblr friends

[thedistantstorm]

Project Compass 29

Read along on AO3 here

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This time: The enemy lies in wait.

Next time: Thrawn makes a choice.

-/

“I was... surprised that you told him what we suspected.”

Thrawn had sat on his considerations for their entire trip back to the Steadfast, almost brooding for how deep he’d been in contemplation. It hadn’t been a terribly long trip, but Eli could tell he’d had questions. And now, for the most part, he could answer them. The human looked comfortable, at ease with Thrawn sitting perpendicular to him in the less formal area of the first officer’s office, a compact sitting area with comfortable-enough chairs.

Eli, who had been reclined in his seat, eyes shut and head tilted up toward the ceiling, cracked his right eye open to regard Thrawn curiously. “After I went through that whole ‘I don’t know if I trust him’ song and dance?”

“That does not translate as well into Cheunh,” Thrawn said, and Eli chuckled. “But yes.”

“Fair question,” The human supposed. “I trust him well enough. But he’s more or less a politician at this point. Ezra’s not the guy I wanted negotiating and unless I missed something, you’re not exactly-”

“I see,” Thrawn said, and folded his hands over the dash. “You knew which parts of our situation he was privy to. That makes sense.”

“Yeah. To be honest, he knows more than I’d like, but I needed some obscure records that Ronan was my best shot at retrieving.” As an afterthought, he produced the chip and slipped it into his datapad. From the angle Thrawn was at, he could see the Aurebesh that popped up, though the information on the screen was hardly Imperial.

“Clone wars?”

“Something like that,” Eli hummed, scanning the information.

“What could the Separatists tell you?” Thrawn’s interest was only as noticeable as the slightest rise in pitch at the end of his question.

Eli scrolled quickly, looking through several tabs of data before sighing and blanking the screen. “Apparently, nothing I didn’t already know from your forays into that time period way back when. But I wasn’t looking for a history lesson,” He admitted. “Seems like the Empire was real thorough,” He scoffed, handing Thrawn the datapad. That figured.

“This could hardly be called a history lesson,” Thrawn said blandly as he took in the very sparse details about separatist aligned houses and senators. “More than half of these contain less than the basic qualifications to establish a profile.”

“Yeah. It’s worthless.” Eli said, covering his eyes with his hands. “It’s not that important, but I had hoped…”

“Had hoped?” Thrawn inclined his head.

“There was a rumor about Count Dooku, that he had some powers nobody who worked with the Jedi had ever seen.”

“Perhaps,” Thrawn considered, though he did not know for certain. “I was aware that the Separatist leader was a Sith, and he was executed by Anakin Skywalker. The details were never advertised, even in the highest Imperial circles.” He waved a hand, “That isn’t to say he would have different powers that were unique. There are variances even among Jedi, if Bridger is to be believed. Of course you have that data, as well as everything I’ve ever sent back to Ar’alani, I’m sure. There weren’t many Force sensitives amongst the Imperial ranks. At all, even.”

“Yeah,” Eli agreed, crossing his left leg over his right. “You’re not wrong there. Any idea why?”

“My conclusion was that the Emperor felt threatened by the remaining Jedi. It was never advertised, but those who were not successfully indoctrinated by the Inquisitors were… dealt with,” Thrawn finished darkly.

“What about Lord Vader?”

“I did not entertain the notion of asking him. Our brief time together was more than enough to ascertain how little of the man truly remained.”

“I don’t doubt it. Can’t say I’m sorry I missed that mission.”

“I am certainly not,” Thrawn conceded, “Although I have no doubt you would have been capable of working with him, he was not someone I wished you to be exposed to. You would have been used against me.”

There was a sharpness, an intensity to Eli’s gaze that surprised Thrawn as he murmured, “I know.”

-/

A rather unimpressed, yet fiercely concerned Formbi made himself available for a conference with Admiral Ar’alani less than forty-eight hours after they returned to the Steadfast. In that time, Thrawn, Eli, and Ezra had laid low, gone through the motions required of their respective positions. Everything about their meeting with Ronan had been very unofficial, despite its very official sanction, thus it had been passed off as an errand for Thrawn and Ezra, with any trace of Vanto’s presence scrubbed from the logs.

Part of Eli’s involvement with Project Compass seemed to involve the captain’s tendency to sequester himself away, Thrawn thought, wondering if the bulk of the crew noticed anything amiss. Certainly the Navigators had noticed Eli’s lack of appearances for what it was. Ezra had said that Un’hee did not appreciate them going dark, but she hadn’t appeared nearly as clingy as he usually saw her. There had been another two Navigators with her at the time, both of whom were around Un’hee’s age and very quiet. Most of what Thrawn had taken from the recap of their brief conversation was that Bridger had been displeased that the other Navigators didn’t trust him the way Un’hee and Vah’nya appeared to.

In retrospect, when Faro sidled up to him on the bridge, not aware of anything amiss, he realized that Eli had the tendency to go dark for long periods of time in the heat of statistical analysis, a trait he’d brought with him to the Ascendency from the Empire. His attention to detail was legendary, and there had been times when only Thrawn himself had been able to raise him on internal comms while he’d been on the verge of a breakthrough. Before, Eli had been apologetic afterwards, aware of his low rank when he drew Faro’s ire.

Now, Faro accepted it as one of her colleague’s quirks. Convenient, Thrawn thought.

Karyn Faro looked smug when she spoke to Thrawn. “The Syndic is speaking with the Admiral now,” She informed him. “I was asked to take a walk and figured it wouldn’t hurt for you to know.” She spoke in near-silent Basic, switching to Cheunh when he inclined his head. “Vanto was busy, as usual, but said give you any news that wasn’t mission critical.” Her eyes danced with something mischievous. “Sounds like you two are doing better, if I might be so bold...”

His eyes flashed. On the bridge? Certainly not. “Thank you for the intel, Commander,” Thrawn said. “If you wish to gossip, please do not do so on my bridge.”

“With all due respect, what exactly do you think happened on the Chimaera’s bridge, sir?”

Thrawn looked down at her. She stared back, unafraid. He raised an elegant eyebrow. She shrugged, nonplussed. “Do you require anything further, Commander?” He asked, before she could become cocky enough to probe him further.

Smiling, she shook her head. “No, Captain. I’ll go back and see if the Admiral has completed her conference.”

“No need,” Ar’alani said. She turned to the helm. “Set course for Sarvchi.” Her eyes locked onto Thrawn’s. “We’ll make the delivery in person.”

Trailing along behind her, reaching the bridge as she arrived at the helm, was Un’hee. Her brilliant crimson eyes seemed like they were sharpened into points. She didn’t look at Thrawn, instead turning to look up at Ar’alani. The admiral took her seat in her command chair. “Navigator Un’hee,” She said, placing a hand atop the girl’s head. “You are not-” She whispered something into the Admiral’s ear.

There was something grim in the set of her jaw, even as she inclined her head, dismissing her back to her station. Un’hee looked at Thrawn, then at the Navigator at the helm. She looked at Ar’alani again.

“To your cabin, Navigator. You are not yet on duty.”

Thrawn waited until the tiny Navigator made her way off the bridge, the girl slinking away displeased. “Is something wrong?”

She shook her head. “I have my own misgivings about this plan,” Ar’alani admitted quietly. “However if Chaf’orm’bintrano needs to see the red of my eyes to believe the seriousness of this threat, he will see them.”

Faro arrived at Ar’alani’s side as she’d finished speaking. “Admiral,” She acknowledged. “Course is locked in and on pace,” She indicated the star-streaks outside the ship. “Estimated time is six hours at current speed, give or take a few minutes.”

“Excellent,” Ar’alani said.

“What of the rest of the fleet?” Thrawn inquired.

Ar’alani inclined her head. “I do not anticipate this taking longer than a day, and the fleet is well protected and secure under Senior Captain Kresh’s command.”

“As you say, Admiral.”

When Thrawn looked up, Un’hee was lingering in the doorway to the bridge. Her eyes felt like they bore through him, the semi-darkness of the hallway just outside the bridge. She shook her head when she realized he had met her eyes and turned to the even smaller Navigator that stood in her shadow, taking both her hands and gesturing to Thrawn with a tilt of her head. The girl nodded, looking concerned but resolved. Un’hee pressed the tangle of their hands and smiled bravely before stepping back.

Ar’alani cleared her throat to get Thrawn’s attention, displeased at his distraction. “I did not wish to leave so abruptly,” She murmured to him. He hadn’t realized Faro had left. Her voice did not carry as she continued, “According to Ivant’s calculations, the fleet is due for another ‘shipment’ in approximately thirteen hours.” She looked up at Thrawn, who stood, leaning in, already thinking over her plan.

“Certainly the Senior Captain can handle it,” Thrawn said.

Ar’alani clenched the arms of her command chair with iron fists. “The shipment was scheduled for the Steadfast.”

“Implying-"

"Yes," She hissed, furious. "Just so." There were more traitors on her flagship.

Thrawn pulled back, but Ar'alani's hand reached out, wrapped around his wrist, sharp fingernails scratching his flesh, grip hard enough to bruise if it lingered for long.

"Mitth'raw'nuruodo," She murmured, in the voice she saved for her Navigators. It was meant to be soothing, but all it accomplished was making Thrawn's blood run cold. "Be ready to do what must be done." She remained looking straight ahead, though her fingers gripped him even fighter then, the bones of his wrist creaking at the brink of pain. She was not seeing the present moment, Thrawn knew, though he could not bring himself to take in the faraway sheen in her eyes, all too aware of the horrors they'd faced together in the past, before he'd left on his mission to court the Empire and she'd carried on alone. Horrors that she refused to allow to befall her cherished Navigators.

“Yes, Admiral.” Above all else, Mitth’raw’nuruodo and Ar’alani were warriors.

-/

Ivant kept the lighting in his office dim, mostly as a balm to the very sensitive Navigators he’d come to be in charge of, as well as by personal preference. The low lights allowed the projections he displayed in the open space to be seen with better clarity, and helped to put off the inevitable headaches he tended to get when staring at display screens for too long. To a human like Faro who had come and gone quickly when he’d been too distracted to entertain, it seemed dark. To a Chiss, it was tolerable. The Empire had only come in shades of sterile white and deepest gray-black.

In front of him, the remainder of the poison they had found remained sealed and locked in a blast-proof canister that would not open for anyone found not to have the clearance Formbi and Ar’alani had personally agreed on. He was not thrilled about the prospect of having the stuff in his office, safely sealed or not, but he knew that the crew would not come to him unless they were guilty of sympathizing with the enemy.

Which was why Ezra Bridger sat in the chair across from him, kneeling on the durasteel floor like it was comfortable, deep in what Eli assumed was a meditative trance. It was nothing like a Navigator, his abilities. They had tested, early on. Had laid subtle hints, looking for indications that his abilities could facilitate healing. But no, he was only capable of trances that seemed to help restore his mental and physical well-being, something that Eli knew through copious amounts of testing was not nearly as helpful to the Navigators, who were trained from early on to be balanced mentally.

Bridger claimed to tap into the Force, to sink into it like one soaked in a bath or waded into an ocean. His people, the Jedi, were meant to be guardians of peace. Spiritual shamans rooted and connected with the unseen ribbons of life itself, if the fragments of oral history and scraps of outlawed texts he’d gotten his hands on meant anything. The Force was his compass, the guide he followed.

Navigators were their own compass; conduits through which greater sight could be achieved. Sight that allowed them to safely direct the course of starships at lightspeed or coax into the smallest minutiae of a living being into healing. Sight into pathways that the future could take, one of infinite pathways that they could help breathe into being or cut off entirely.

The overlap in abilities existed, but mattered little in terms of the overall picture. The Jedi’s Force was not meant to be weaponized despite its many uses. Thrawn had recounted the tale of his and Ezra’s confrontation over Lothal, and the Jedi had confirmed the entire exchange verbatim. Eli was certain he would never forget the words for as long as he drew breath.

Eventually, but sooner than the Jedi might think, they would present Ezra Bridger with a choice: return home or stay, forever.

He didn’t need a Navigator’s Sight to know that Ezra would not choose as he had. He understood why, too. Eli’van’to would never truly be a Chiss. He might never have the same rights or privileges. Similarly, Ezra Bridger would always be a Jedi. He could not truly be a Navigator.

Besides, to the Chiss, their Sight was far more than a tool in a peacekeeper’s arsenal. Their alignment was neither light, nor dark, but something in-between. Their ascension and safekeeping was not destined to be a Jedi’s legacy.

“You’re worried,” Ezra breathed into the quiet hum of computers and the dim underlighting of Vanto’s office. “Everything will be fine.”

“Can you predict the future?” Vanto asked, trying and failing to keep the concern out of his voice.

“No,” The Jedi said, frowning. “The future is always in motion.” He shifted and readjusted his legs to sit cross-legged as Eli rounded his desk, leaning against the top of it, opposite of where he’d usually sit. “But you trust Ronan, and even that Formbi guy, whoever he is.”

“We already can’t trust the Aristocra, which means we didn’t really have many other options besides the private sector,” Ivant explained. “Our only saving grace is that House Chaf is a ruling family.” Darkly, he added, “Assuming he doesn’t betray us and go straight to the admiralty. The admiralty will feel that Ar’alani betrayed them by not coming forward with the information.”

Ezra frowned. “Even if she feared one of the Admirals to be compromised?”

“Even if she knows one of them is,” The Captain nodded. “Which, we know one of them must be, but we don’t know who. So now we’re left with a concept you’re familiar with: seeking forgiveness rather than asking permission.”

“Yeah,” The Jedi inclined his head. “So why are you so concerned?”

“It’s Admiral Ar’alani’s career on the line. And all of our lives.” And Project Compass, he thought to himself. If this goes to hell, if she loses credibility, all the data in the universe won’t matter to the council. If she finds herself blamed for anything that happens here, it would be the end of their project, and likely Eli’s life, for how close he was to all of these events. A family like Inrokini with their brutal, unwavering militaristic idealism would find it easy to take advantage in the fallout and topple House Mitth - Thrass’s influence would be reduced heavily for his loyalty to Ar’alani and the CDF as it currently stood. “Things won’t go according to plan,” Ivant said. “There are too many unknowns to plan for.”

“Aren’t there always?” Ezra rose so that he was looking Eli in the eye. “Look, I get it. Things could go wrong. They probably will.” He shrugged. “We’ll adapt. I know it’ll turn out alright.”

“Do you?”

“I have a pretty good feeling,” Ezra said. Despite Ivant’s skeptical look, he added sagely, “Trust in the Force.” Then, younger and more like his age, he added, “Or, y’know, trust me.”

Eli nodded. “Alright, Bridger. I’ll trust you.” He narrowed his gaze. If things really did go as poorly as his gut indicated it might, he might not get another chance. Ronan and the Empire didn’t have any information to give. He did not want Ezra imprinting his beliefs on Thrawn, given their history. Regardless of their relationship, Thrawn would always be a Chiss. He might understand human ethos, but Ezra was not Eli, and his principles as a Jedi would not always allow him to understand what decisions needed to be made - and at what cost. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure.”

“When we first questioned you, you mentioned that you had touched the,” Eli searched for a polite word that would hopefully prevent the Jedi from jumping to offense, “A less Jedi-like side of the force.”

The younger man’s eyes turned hard, like precious gemstones. “The Dark Side, Captain. Call it what it is,” He said, and pressed, “What is it you want to know?”

Eli allowed himself to sit atop his desk, legs hanging over the side. He folded his fingers together and laid them just shy of his knees.“You’ve encountered Grysks. You’ve fought alongside Jedi and against Sith. What do you think of the Navigators, after all this time?”

Silence followed the question. Pensively, Ezra looked up into Ivant’s eyes and then closed his own altogether. He seemed to sink back into that trance state as he stood there, reaching out with the Force. The Captain waited patiently for him to return to himself. When Ezra still said nothing, Ivant began to rephrase.

“The Galaxy is more than black and white, Dark and Light, good and evil.” He murmured the next bit even softer. “Jedi and Sith.”

“The Chiss aren’t on the side of the Light,” Ezra mused, making the connection he’d been steered towards.

“I do not believe so,” Eli admitted. “Not entirely. But I do not believe them to be inherently evil like the Grysks, either.” His gaze was contemplative, but serious. “I believe they are both.”

Ezra nodded his head. “The Chiss do not call it the Force. They are not like Sith or Jedi. There are… beings,” Ezra finally said. “Some are inherently attuned to the Force. My master said there were those attuned to the Light, and others attuned to the Dark. But,” Ezra confessed, “Yes. I’ve used the Dark Side. I’m not proud of it, and I hope never to do so again.” He tilted his head, looking at Eli. “If you want me to teach them how to commune with the Dark Side, I won’t.”

“That was never my intention,” Vanto said sternly. “It is only their goodness that will save them. A goodness they’ve forgotten, a sense of self that they have extinguished for sake of their pride.”

Bridger crossed his arms. “Why are you telling me this now?”

“If things go poorly, you are going to see things you should not see. Things I would ask you never to share with another soul. Things that may make you wonder which side the Navigators are on.”

“Even a Jedi has darkness in them,” Ezra said, suspicious. “Picking the Light... It’s a choice you keep making, you don’t just get to decide once and that’s it.”

Eli considered that. “But again, the Chiss do not see light or dark. The Chiss simply are. You have heard of their culture, their legacy as warriors. They do not perceive the Force like you do, though the ways they wield it may seem familiar to yourself and… others you may have encountered in the past.”

“There are Navigators using the Dark Side?” Ezra’s voice rose. “Captain - Eli - that’s not good. They’re just children, they-”

“Even so,” A solemn voice whispered from behind Ezra. He jerked in surprise, unable to hear, see, or even sense her approach. “A Navigator can be capable of weaponizing the Force in self defense.”

Ezra whirled around. “How?” His dark eyes met Vah’nya’s glowing ones. “Why would you want to-”

“I was terrified,” She said softly, speaking of her own experience as the memory played out in her mind’s eye. “I couldn’t help it. All I knew was that I was to suffer a fate worse than death.” She slipped into the room, head held high. “But like you said,” She gestured toward them with an open palm, “There is good and bad in all of us. Do you believe it is evil to be afraid? To be angry?”

“Well, no, but the Jedi code,” Ezra said, strained, “It kind of specifically warns against emotions ruling you. That isn’t - I don’t believe you or the other Navigators are evil, Vah’nya, but-”

“We are the ones in the middle,” Vah’nya said. “We are warriors, servants to those we protect. That is what it means to be a Navigator, to be a Chiss.” Her eyes glowed in the dimness of the room. “Are we the only ones in the universe who are children of both Light and Dark, not one or the other, but both?”

Understanding flickered across Ezra’s face. He stepped to the side, allowing Vah’nya to join their circle. “There is only one being I know of,” He admitted. Ezra looked between them both. “But you’re not entirely the same. He - Bendu was a bit more… cranky. And chaotic. Thrawn told you about him,” Ezra said. “He was the one on Atollon.”

“He used the Force?” Eli asked, voice rising, sounding surprised. There was an edge to his voice as Vah’nya leaned forward in interest, expectantly. “I’ve heard of sentient creatures - big, small, that doesn’t really matter, but-” Eli didn’t have to go on.

“He did. He taught my master how to see with the Force after he’d been blinded,” Ezra said softly, then looked up at Eli, running through what he knew of the planet-side battle from his friends. “Oh,” He said, and swallowed. Kanan had trusted his friend, had trusted Bendu to help them defeat the Empire, even though he’d used abilities that weren’t becoming of a Jedi, that weren’t grounded in the Light at all. He didn’t see the significant look Vah’nya and Eli shared around him, preoccupied with his thoughts as he said, “I see what you mean.”

#Thranto #Eli Vanto #Mitth'raw'nuruodo #Ezra Bridger #Eli Vanto/Thrawn #Ar'alani #Vah'nya #Un'hee #SW Fanfiction #discussions of force philosophy #my writing #things are about to get messy

[geminiimagines]

Little Sister (1/?)

Summary: In which Eli Vanto’s adopted little sister meets Leutient Thrawn at her brother’s graduation and is immediately enchanted.  

Chapter 1: A Rare Find 

“Grand frère!‘‘ Eli nearly jumped at the sound of his sister’s voice. During his time at the Academy, he often spoke to his sister (though in private), and nowhere she was running at full speed towards him. He almost didn’t react in time his catch his sister. 

“Hey, there sweet pea.’‘ He hugged his sister tight. Ever since they found his adopted sister wandering around town a few years ago. Eli’s father decided to take her in and make her a Vanto.  His little sister snuggled against him, much to his embarrassment,. 

“I am so proud of Eli! Maman and Papa should be here in a few minutes. They said they we might go out to eat! I cannot wait to see Coruscant.’‘ His sister climbed off him. Eli couldn’t help but smile. She was always so bubbly. The holos that she sent from home were always with her and gaggle of friends. 

“I don’t know about that Giselle. You know how Mom and Dad feel about being here.’‘ Eli said putting her down. Her black hair was done in a loose ponytail… and… was that a tiara she was wearing? How the hell did she get that? The Vanto family was well-off, but not that well off. 

“Elle, sweetie! Are you with your brother?’‘ Eli heard the voice of his mother calling out. Giselle turned around, “Maman je suis là! Je suis avec Eli!*‘‘ She called in her native tongue. Eli watched as his parents walked over to where and his little sister was.  

“We talked about this Giselle. You know we can’t understand you when you talk that in that nonsense.’‘ Eli’s mother said. His father, not too far from his wife, walked up and hugged his son. 

“Congratulations son. We’re proud of you.’‘ He said releasing his son from his hug.  Giselle hugged her brother and held tight to his arm. His parents stood awkwardly as the silence set in. His, usually talkative sister stood quietly too. 

‘‘So…’‘ His mother began, ‘‘Is it true?’‘ Eli winced. He had hoped that wouldn’t come up. Eli had hoped that his family would tell him how proud they were and then get out. 

‘‘Yeah, it’s true.’‘ His parents visibly flinched at the thought of their eldest son being an aide to an alien officer. The Vantos held a standard in the Outer Rim, and it was already being talked about with their friends.  Giselle in her usually naive manner turned with wide eyes. 

“About Monsieur Thrawn? You have talked about him before.’’ Giselle said innocently. Her innocence was something that people found charming. Her wide-eyed view of the world. Innocence was something found in short of supply in the Empire. Like Eli, that innocence would soon fade, but if his mother had anything to with it his sister would remain as naive as a newborn until she died. 

“You know about him, Elle?’‘ His father asked with wide eyes. Eli bit his, lip. He shouldn’t have told her about Thrawn. But then again who could he complain to without his parents knowing. Giselle nodded, she looked up and saw a familiar face. It was Thrawn, and his sister was already running towards him. Panic immediately weld up in Eli. This was one of her flaws. She was way too friendly. On some days she was caught talking to stormtroopers on the occasion. Protective instincts rose up in Eli as he watched her interact with the Chiss. 

“Monsieur Thrawn! Je suis Giselle! Je suis la souer d’ Eli. S’il vous plaît rencountrer mes parents.’’  Thrawn watched as a young girl around eighteen come barling towards him. He had his name mixed with the language he did not recognize. She stopped in her tracks. He watched as an air of friendliness came from the girl. Looking at the girl he noticed the rosy cheeks and wide smile that graced her faced. Her gown and tiara gave away her staus of someone of high social standing. Though her dress was that of the not of the usual fashion of Coruscant. He looked down at the girl, and like a light bulb, he recognized her. It was Eli’s younger sister. He couldn’t remember her name… Elle was it? 

‘‘I’m sorry, but I do not understand you,’‘ Thrawn said bowing his head slightly. The girl giggled. It was obvious that she didn’t care to talk to a non-human. She tucked a stray hair behind her hair. 

“I am sorry,’‘ She said switching to Basic. Her accent was not like Eli’s where one could see that he came from Wild Space, but his sister talked with an accent Thrawn had not heard before. Her native tongue was free-flowing, carefree and passionate. Her accent was thick and he almost could not understand it himself. It sounded like she had only just started to learn Basic a year or so ago. Her voice high and windy, chime-like. 

“It is not a problem, are you Eli’s sister? I recognized your voice.’‘ The girl smiled and nodded. Without any hesitation, she grabbed his hand and started to drag him over to where Eli and his family were standing. A look of embarrassment over Eli’s face, his parents, Thrawn noticed stiffened at the sight of their daughter practically dragging the alien to them. 

 I swear Giselle’s friendliness is going to bite in the back you one day. Eli thought bitterly. He watched as his sister dragged Thrawn over to his family. Her face in a full-blown smile. Thrawn didn’t seem to mind at all much to Eli’s surprise. Though his parents… he watched as their faces go from surprise to shock. 

‘‘ My name is Giselle, I am Eli’s little sister. The Vantos took me in a couple of years ago.’‘ She said proudly. Eli and his father unconsciously stepped closer to the youngest member of the family. Eli’s mother stiffened and placed a hand on her daughter’s shoulder. 

“Yes, we adopted her a couple of years ago. Her parents were friends of ours, unfortunately, they passed away. We took in her in.’‘ It was a story they had rehearsed many times. Thrawn nodded, and much to Eli’s chagrin he knew that Thrawn could spot a lie from a million miles away. He nodded as if he accepted the story. Thrawn noticed this protectiveness. It was something only natural, Thrawn had noticed. Many of the young ladies of Coruscant often had companions chaperoning them. Eli had to explain it was a way of preserving their honor. Thrawn gave a small bow gave a smiled. 

‘‘You are extremely kind to take her in. Your kindness has extended to Eli he has been gracious in my learning here at the Academy.’‘ He said smoothly. He watched as Eli’s mother puff up a little with pride. His father gave a nod towards him. Eli watched Giselle as she slipped from his grasp. 

‘‘They have been very kind to me. I cannot repay their kindness.’‘ Giselle said. Her boldness caught Thrawn of guard by taking his hand. It was a gesture he was not used to. It not usually among the Chiss for public displays of affection, that was usually held in private it was only something done between partners, never with complete strangers. 

‘‘Eli told me how everything. I know how it feels to be alone in a strange world. When the Vantos found me I had no idea where I was. The only thing I knew was that name is Giselle. My memories came back in time.’’ The young lady explained. It was rare that he was offered sympathy for his ‘‘plight’‘. Often times when people were told of his ‘‘rescue’‘ it was met with awe and often fake sympathy. It was a rare find indeed.  The expression of compassion on her face was genuine. Uncharaceristly, Thrawn gave her hand small squeeze before letting go. He could also see how naive she was. Perhaps it was the way she was raised. He didn’t know where she had come from before becoming to the Vantos. Thrawn would not lie, he found it rather amusing about her wide-eyed view of the world.  He found it rather refreshing. He watched as Eli scooted closer to her. 

‘‘Well… uh. It was nice meeting you Lieutenet Thrawn.’‘ Eli’s mother said stiffly. Eli knew that his parents were uncomfortable with being on a Core World planet, and their son being an aide to a non-human… and was Thrawn flirting with his sister?! He couldn’t believe. The faster they got out of here, the better.  There was no way that his sister would be involved with him! It wasn’t uncommon for navy men to have relationships with civilians… but this was his sister! His sister who saw the good in everyone, despite what everyone else thought.  Giselle had little knowledge of the Empire, and how it worked. She didn’t understand the implications of what would happen it would be in a relationship with Thrawn. And… neither did Thrawn. Did Chiss court outside of their own? Would he understand what would happen to his family if word got out… Eli shook his head. Thrawn wouldn’t be that stupid… then again it was Thrawn.  

‘‘ It was nice to meet you too, especially Miss Giselle.’‘ Thrawn said. He took Giselle’s hand and lifted it to his lips, giving it a light kiss. Eli felt rage surge through him. How could he do that? Calming down he knew Thrawn was just mimicking what he saw many times at parties. His parents were the first to leave, his mother giving him a hug and told him to write often. His father shook his hand and told him good luck and that he always a Comlink call away. Giselle was the last one. 

“Goodbye grand frère. Goodbye Monsieur Thrawn.’’ She hugged Eli. She didn’t want to let go. It had been so long since she had seen her brother. Eli gave his sister a tight hug. 

‘‘ You be good sweet pea. Don’t cause mom and dad any trouble.’‘ He said with a sad smile. Giselle gave her brother a kiss on the cheek before turning to Thrawn.  

‘‘Keep my brother safe. I know it can be scary out there. Don’t hesitate to call or write if you get bored with my brother.’‘ She giggled. Eli winced internally as she said that. A smile spread across Thrawn’s face. 

‘‘ I would be happy to,’‘ Thrawn said giving Giselle a smile. Eli watched as his sister caughter up with her parents, she turned and called out, 

“Que Dieu bénisse votre voyage!’’ Thrawn watched as Giselle went away with her parents. He turned to Eli. 

“What did she say? I am not familiar with her language.’‘ He said. Thrawn watched Eli think about to way. It was obvious that he wasn’t used to her native tongue, but it was obvious he knew some of it. 

‘‘Uh, something about blessing our journey.’‘ Eli said, ‘‘ It’s really a good luck thing. Come on we need to get our orders.’‘ He said. Eli couldn’t help but worry about his sister and what she was entering into. 

#star wars imagine #imagine star wars #star wars fanfiction #fanfiction #star wars #grand admiral thrawn #thrawn x reader #x reader #thrawn x oc #oc #oc x canon #gemini writes #gemini imagines #thrawn

[theabominableblogger]

Rewatching “Revenge of the Sith”

Ohhhh yeahhh, I’m going there.

My apologies in advance because this post is so long...

*silently boogies out to 20th Century Fox jingle and ends up throwing popcorn everywhere*

*mouths along to opening theme*

WAR!

“Evil is everywhere.”  Dude, this is Star Wars we’re talking about...

Just a heads up, I am so freaking glad that we have The Clone Wars because honestly, it has a lot more flowing character development when it comes from jumping from “Attack of the Clones” to this movie, especially Anakin.

Lens flare!

Holy snot how many Republic ships are there?!?  Did the Separatists come with every single ship imaginable?  Is that why?

Aaaaand that’s a dead body.

The hell are those things?

“Nothing too fancy.”  Says the man [Obi-Wan] who dramatically drops his robes whenever possible.

*imitates the buzz droids*

“IN THE NAME OF-”  Finish the sentence, Obi-Wan!

R2′s taser thingy looks like the Twelfth Doctor’s sonic screwdriver.

What if they didn’t notice the shield in time?

Boom!  End of saga.  Cue end credits music.

Ohhhh this asshole.

WHAAAATTT’SS THE SITUATION, CAPTAINNNN???

*imitates the droids saying “Roger roger”*

How come Anakin and Obi-Wan aren’t getting jostled around when the elevator car first stops?

*quotes the entire “No loose wire jokes” conversation in the elevator*

Is that the same freaking chair that’s gonna pop up in “Return of the Jedi?”

Anakin and Obi-Wan fight Dooku but every time their lightsabers clash, it’s Obi-Wan going “Hello there”

Did Dooku just backwards kick Anakin away?  Oh my God...

DEW IT

 *Anakin kills Count Dooku*  Well done, prequels.  You done didn’t use your Christopher Lee effectively enough.

ALL BATTERIES FIRE, FIRE!

Wilhelm Scream!

*imitates droid saying “Reversing stabilizers...”*

Holy crap, you can actually see Grievous’s face kind of twitching with anger when he commands the droids to level out the ship.  Dang.

Freaking Obi-Wan’s little yell of horror when he wakes up...

*ugly cackles*

*quotes the entire ray shields scene*

I cannot freaking believe that the TV show took the time to make freaking sure that Anakin never met Grievous until this movie.

Actually, yes I can.  They have a goddamn script continuity department.

How come one of them didn’t take one of the electrostaffs?

The Separatist flagship just tore in half when it entered the atmosphere and yet I remain completely unfazed.

“8 plus 16...”  Pfftt, what the heck does that mean?

Guys, I think I found the origin for the Dramatic Hair Flop of Angst in TCW

Pretty sure that’s the Millenium Falcon at the bottom hangar

“Oh, I’m not brave enough for politics.”  *cough cough*

Obi-Wan gets a whole freaking bus to himself.  Chaos will ensue.

How has no one noticed Padme just hanging out next to one of the pillars?

“There were whispers... that you [Anakin] had been killed...”  Really?

Anakin’s reaction to Padme telling him that she’s pregnant is actually really good.

Wasn’t there like a deleted interaction where Anakin first accused Padme of sleeping with someone else while he was gone but then they decided that was not that great of an idea?

The music that plays when Grievous exits the shuttle is pretty sweet

*imitates Grievous saying “Yes, Lord Sidious?”*

*claps with each word*  This is not how you write romance, [George] Lucas!

Oh I didn’t realize that you could actually hear Anakin’s robotic arm move when he puts his face in his hands

“How long is it gonna take before we start being honest with each other?”  You [Padme] should have asked that before you two got hitched in the first place.

Ladies and gentlemen, the absolute worst therapy lesson in the history of Star Wars:  Yoda telling Anakin to basically get over himself and accept the sudden, incoming death of the people he loves.

“What must I do, Master Yoda?”  MOTHEREFFING IGNORE HIM!

“Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose.”  NOOO, OH MY GOD...

There’s actually a whole video by Pop Culture Detective that went into detail how terrible the Jedi Council were when it came to giving Anakin emotional support.

“Be careful of your friend Palpatine.”  And your pal, Friend-patine.

I just noticed that there are less chairs in the Jedi Council room

“The Council doesn’t like it when he [Palpatine] interferes with Jedi affairs.”  Then why the heck don’t they confront Palpatine about it?

Holy crap, I just realized that this movie came out 13 years ago.

“Hold me, like you did by the lake on Naboo...” Was that really “holding” though?

Anakin’s delivery of “At last!” sounds like Darth Maul when he said “At last we will reveal ourselves to the Jedi” in the first movie.

This entire opera scene should be a dead give away to Anakin learning about Palpatine being the Sith Lord.  The minute Palpatine even said the word “Sith” should have raised a few red flags...

This entire Darth Plaguesis explanation is so good and ominous.  Just the minute Palpatine finishes the story and tells Anakin that there are other ways to gain that sort of power, you can just gradually feel the dread setting in for the rest of the movie.  You just know something bad is gonna happen (besides Anakin becoming Darth Vader)...

Look at the way Obi-Wan’s sitting in his chair!

Oh my God... the Wookies just did a Tarzan yell...

Headcanon:  he’s [Anakin] checking for updates about the Siege of Mandalore

OK, everyone craps on the Utapau storyline with the fight scene between Obi-Wan and Grievous but I actually think this is one of the best parts in the movie.

I love the design for the Pau’ans

GUYSSS I LOVE BOGA SO MUCH YOU HAVE NO IDEA!!!

Someone get me a plush animal of her on my desk pronto!

HELLO THERE!

GENERAL KENOBIII... YOU ARE A BOLD ONE...

That pose though!

That spinning helicopter move Grievous does while stalking toward Obi-Wan was always really cool to me.  A little extra, but still cool.

ARMY OR NOT... YOU MUST REALIZE... YOU ARE DOOMED!

Oh I don’t think so!

*imitates Obi-Wan using the Force to throw Grievous*

Wait, so how many times has Cody had to hold onto Obi-Wan’s lightsaber when Obi-Wan freaking drops it?

Death Star plans?

Big question:  so how old is Anakin here?  He’s 19/20 in “Attack of the Clones” and there’s at least a one or two year time jump in S3 of TCW.

Yo, that means he was like late 30s/early 40s when he died in “Return of the Jedi.”  Well shoot, man...

Yeah, Obi-Wan, let’s freaking kick the crazy homicidal cyborg.  Great idea.

Is Grievous just covered in gasoline or something because he just went up in flames *snaps* just like that.

Ohhhh this scene with Anakin and Padme looking at the windows of their respective places is really good...

Look at freaking Anakin here! 

George Lucas deserves any and all sins for the bad dialogue for Anakin because Hayden Christensen can really act when he’s not given any dialogue and he’s just told to react. 

So, with that, henceforth, there shall be no dissing Hayden Christensen on my blog.

I AM THE SENATE!

Dramatic window break!

Palpatine’s lightsaber just freaking deactivated as soon as Windu kicked it out the window

Wowwww... the prosthetics on Palpatine look.. bad....

UNLIMITED.... POOWEEERRRRR!!!

I just realized that Anakin kind of walks over to Palpatine on his knees before he pledges himself to Palpatine

Why Darth “Vader” though?  Is there any special reasoning for that?

AN:  Holy crap, there’s an hour left and Anakin has just turned to the Dark Side...

Pfftttt....

THESE SHOTS THOUGH

Man, I need to download more tracks from this soundtrack...

You can tell that that’s green screen behind Cody

*in best Palpatine impression*  Execute Order 66!

Nooooooooooooo, Boga!

Aaaaand everyone dies and it sucks now!

Ughh, Aayla Secura...

NOOOOOOOOOO PLO KOONN!

What planet is that?

Here’s my question:  in Rebels, how the heck did Thrawn get Gree’s helmet?  Was there an imperial campaign out on Kashyyyk and he found it somewhere?

That small matte painting shot of the Jedi Temple burning is actually really pretty now that I see it again

Yooooo can we talk about this padawan though?

Kashyyyk has twin moons...

So what happens to Chewie after this and before the Han Solo movie?

Heeeyyyyyyy I know that kind of ship!

“Have faith, my love [Padme]...”  Uhhhh... Padme should have picked up on how... off that line was

How has NO ONE in the Senate (besides Organa and probably Mon Mothma) picked up on Padme’s pregnancy?

*imitates Palpatine*  Mustafaaarrrrr....

“Could be a trap.”  It’s Star Wars.  There’s always a trap.

What’s that planet right next to Mustafar?

Random xylophone scales!

Yoda is taking no prisoners!

Where are the lightsaber/balster holes in the younglings?  Yoda said that they were probably killed by lightsaber so where are the marks on their bodies?

Yellow eyes...

“So this is how liberty dies:  with thunderous applause.”  Best.  line.  Ever.  Someone send flowers and chocolates to Natalie Portman.

“I've recalibrated the code, warning all surviving Jedi to stay away.”  Aaaagghh and we see it in Rebels and in the Last Padawan comic!

Don’t mind me casually dying

I just noticed that gradually throughout this movie, you can see Obi-Wan get grey hairs in his sideburns

*Obi-Wan sneaks onto Padme’s ship to Mustafar*  Where did he come from?!?

“You [Darth Vader] have restored peace and balance to the galaxy.”  *in best Anakin voice*  OK... now what?

“And together, you [Padme] and I [Anakin] can rule the galaxy! We can make things the way we want them to be!”  Wow, “The Last Jedi�� is just smackin’ me in the face right now

Anakin... you’re breaking my heart!

That is just extremely bad timing on Obi-Wan’s part

YOU HAVE DONE THAT YOURSELF!

Your new Empire?!?

DEMOCRACY!

“Only a Sith deals in absolutes.”  A what?

That’s a pretty nasty lisp you have there.  Might wanna do something about that.

You know how this Yoda vs. Palpatine fight could be more amazing?  Just add helium

Honestly, for the BIG DEAL fight between Anakin and Obi-Wan, it just goes on for a little bit too long.

Plus when it’s intercut with the Yoda vs. Palpatine, the latter is way more entertaining (hello, two most powerful peope going head to head with actual Force lightning being involved?)

Are they [Anakin and Obi-Wan] just kicking each other with the Force now?  Wow...

NOT EVEN HITTING EACH OTHER!

Seriously, they’re just banging their lightsabers together and calling that a fight.  C’mon... actually try to hit the opponent!

Duel of the Fates!

*Palpatine throws the Senate chairs at Yoda with the Force* So I threw the Senate at him!

Honestly, you could cut out this whole balance thing on the sinking balcony and mining buildings/walkways

Commander Fox?

ExPLOsions...

Noooo... cut this out...

“Into exile, I [Yoda] must go.  Failed, I have.”  And yet people complain about Luke doing the exact same thing in the sequel trilogy

You’re not even trying to hit each other!

FROM MY POINT OF VIEW, THE JEDI ARE EVIL!

IT’S OVER, ANAKIN!  I HAVE THE HIGH GROUND!

YOU WERE THE CHOSEN ONE!

“You were my brother, Anakin.  I loved you.”  Uuuggghhhh....

I actually read somewhere that Ewan McGregor actually asked George Lucas to change the line to past tense instead of the original present tense.  Which is sad, so thanks Ewan.

Can’t you just put out the fire with the Force?

How did 3PO and R2 get an unconscious Padme on board?

Where is this?

*Palpatine’s shuttle lands in Coruscant*  It was a dark and stormy night...

Y’know, at this point, me comparing Anakin being repaired and transformed into Darth Vader and the creation of Frakenstein’s monster is almost inevitable at this point...

Stupid question, but what’s the significance of the names “Luke” and “Leia” concerning the themes present in the movies?  Or is that up to people like me who enjoy the meta to find that out?

He [Darth Vader] just killed that medical droid next to him...

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Do not want....

“...[Qui Gon] learned the path to immortality...” In the TV show!

I like how the last line in this freaking movie is “Oh no!” and it’s from 3PO...

Triceratops rams!

The design for Padme’s funeral garb is actually Iain McCaig’s favorite concept art

How did they develop TIE fighters so quickly?

Oh my God, the dude they got to play Tarkin... oh God...

Definitely not Peter Cushing

*gasp*  Leia’s theme!

Random eopie noise!

Oh my God, “Binary Suns”...

Obi-Wan’s like “Great, now I gotta help a pair of random, separate Force-sensitive teenagers and their astromechs in the near future...”

Wait, they put Ewan McGregor in top billing?

“With Samuel L. Jackson as Mace Windu”  Thamuel El Jackthson!

Holy crap, I forgot Joel Edgerton plays young Uncle Owen

#star wars #sw #the blogger reacts #revenge of the sith #anakin skywalker #padme amidala #obi wan kenobi #heads up it takes forever to find all those screencaps #you're welcome #general grievous #Emperor Palpatine #hayden christensen #Darth Vader #star wars rebels #swr #the last padawan #Ewan McGregor #darth sidious #master yoda #chewbacca #mace windu #joel edgerton #samuel l jackson #star wars the clone wars #swtcw #Luke Skywalker #leia organa

[firewolfsg]

A Demon's Love (Yet another Demon!Veers AU)

Tags: sfw; Sexual Assault/Molestation; angst; trauma; Thrawn being badass in spite of the situation, so I suppose it did become a bit humorous; dark!humour though; was supposed to be playful and sexy but turned to trauma and angst, then heavier angst really fast; death!fic;

It was a terrible mistake for Palpatine and Tarkin to summon a demon and craft it into the likeness and being of General Veers. The General was understandably furious when the demon escaped and came very near to committing the unthinkable upon his husband. Unable to banish it and unwilling to give it a Chiss of its own, the Grand Admiral and the General embark upon a gamble…

(Yeah, that happy/crack sounding AU where Veers yells at Tarkin to give Demon!Veers his own Demon!Thrawn didn’t make it past ‘GO’. This angsty thing happened instead.)

“Mitth’raw’nuruodo.”

Thrawn barely gave his husband a glittering look before he turned his attention back to his paperwork. “I thought you said you'd be—” He stole a quick glance at the chronometer, “Gone for another half hour with your Thundering herd?”

“Couldn't I finish off earlier, Ch’eo vur?” Veers glided into the room.

“You must have rushed. You've never left your crew with this much time off your usual practice drills.”

“I have a very enticing incentive waiting in our quarters.” Veers was on the left of Thrawn's chair now with his broad arms encircling his waist while his lips brushed against his neck.

“Max.” Thrawn tried not to arch into his husband's touch and give into the desire to tilt his head to give him better access to his neck. “I'm nearly at the end of this report. I need to finish it.”

“Do you really?” Veers pouted as he brought his face between Thrawn and his datapad.

“Yes, really. I timed it. If you hadn't been in such a hurry to get back, I would have been done with it before you returned. Now give me another 10 minutes, and I'll be ready for you,”

He gave his husband a quick peck on the lips, but the General of course dipped in to steal a longer deeper kiss. However, instead of indulging a little in this playful dance of tongues, Thrawn was taken aback to realise something was very wrong.

Dropping the datapad and stylus to bring his hands between himself and his 'husband', Thrawn tried to free himself from the devouring kiss and the suddenly vice like grip around his body. “Stop!” Thrawn wrenched his lips free to glare at this doppelganger. “Who are You?! What did you do to Max?!”

“Oh, this is unexpected. I thought I was supposed to be an exact replica.” The figure holding him seeming bulked up slightly, and Thrawn gulped as he watched two long, jagged horns of ebony and emerald emerge from the sides of its head.

“What are you?” Thrawn stared at this being which looked so much like his husband but obviously was not. “Why do you look like General Veers? Did you do something to him?”

The demon’s laugh was silky with an otherworldly vibe that echoed with a multitude of harmonized voices in Thrawn's head. “No, Mitth’raw’nuruodo, I have not even met your General. As for doing something to him? Nothing, why? Do you want me to?”

Thrawn was struggling to escape the doppelganger's vice like grip, his eyes widening with the realisation that this being was now nude with a very demanding member pressing against his leg. “Let me go!”

“Are you sure, I can't persuade you otherwise, Ch’eo vur? Your General Veers and I are so very similar.”

“Do NOT call me that! You have no right to it”

“You only realised the difference when we kissed, did you not?” The being easily turned the struggling Chiss around so that it could lay its head beside his face. “With your eyes closed, don't I feel like him?”

“Let me g—” Thrawn's words ended in a strangled cry as familiar warm lips kissed him under his neck and a long tongue snaked out to touch him at a particularly sensitive spot.

“It wouldn't even be cheating, Mitth’raw’nuruodo. I was made in his image. I can do everything your General is capable of... and even more.”

“Get your hands off—” Thrawn's voice was again choked off in a moan as clawed hands lightly scratched over his suddenly bared skin.

Where had his uniform gone? Had he suddenly lost a moment of time for this—demon to have stripped him? His mind was lost in a miasma of fear and lust as the doppelganger touched him in much too familiar ways, drawing responses from him that he couldn't avoid.

“I wouldn't hurt you, Mitth’raw’nuruodo.” Thrawn opened his teary eyes to realise he was now sitting nude upon the lap of this Demon and held tight in its embrace. “My similarity to your General ensures I will not force myself upon you.”

“Then let me GO!” The vice like hold loosened much to Thrawn's surprise.

“Mitth'raw—”

“Get your grubby claws off my husband!” Neither had notice the soft chime that announced the slide of a door opening, nor the entrance of the real Maximillian Veers. “Wilhuff!”

“Demon!” Tarkin hurried in after the furious General Veers. “My apologies, Grand Admiral, General.”

Veers stalked over to them and forcefully took his Chiss from the pouting demon's slack arms. Thrawn practically collapsed into the protective embrace of his husband.

“I was only playing.” The demon looked up worriedly at its furious master. “I wouldn't have harmed him. This body you gave me doesn't have the capability of doing that to its consort.”

Tarkin's glare intensified as he felt more than saw the real Veers tense while Thrawn shivered in his embrace. “The Grand Admiral is husband to General Veers. That does NOT give *you* any claim on him.”

“Why can't I have one of my own, then? It's not fair if I have the same feelings and desires, but can't act on them.”

“We will talk about it later. Now return to your chambers.” Tarkin waved a sith holocron in its face. “You are never to set foot in here again. Nor come within 10 metres of either your template General Veers or his husband Grand Admiral Thrawn.”

The demon pouted at them in disappointment. Before it left though, it swept close enough to Veers and Thrawn to grab one of the Chiss' hands. “I am sorry about the fright I gave you. I presumed too much.” It gave him a fangy leer, “But that is my nature as a demon.

“You know?” It addressed the outraged Veers, “we could have had a lovely three-some if you'd just be willing to share.”

Veers growled and his hand was quickly filled with a blaster pistol, though the demon only laughed as it released Thrawn's hand and skipped away to vanish before Veers could point his pistol at it. Tarkin just pinched the skin above his nose.

“Wilhuff! What in the name—”

“I'm sorry for that.” Tarkin turned to them. “The Emperor was dabbling and your name came up, but no one thought beyond the moment what might happen when we created that demon using the template of one of our greatest and loyal warriors.”

“Well, you're going to keep that hutt spawn away from us!”

Tarkin nodded firmly before turning his eyes to the still silent Chiss. “Grand Admiral? Thrawn?”

“Ch’eo vur?” Veers looked down at his shivering husband whose face had been pressed against his chest since the demon departed.

“It— it wasn't wrong to say it looked and sounded exactly like you. But...” Thrawn finally looked up at his husband. “He tasted of ashes.

“That's when I knew something was wrong.”

“Ch’eo vur...” Veers stroked a gentle hand over his husband's face to brush away the tears. The draping of a warm blanket around them reminded him that Tarkin was still with them and Thrawn was very much vulnerably nude.

Veers quickly moved them to the couch in their living room where he could arrange his husband draped over his body with their legs entangled. Tarkin found another blanket from their hall closet and draped that over them too.

None apparently wanted to break the silence that fell over them. It took a while, but the stress of the situation finally took its toll on Thrawn and he slipped into a fitful sleep while held in the protective embrace of his husband.

“Again, I am sorry for this.”

“Thank you for coming to me as soon as you realised it slipped your leash, but Wilhuff... that— that thing must go.” Veers growled at him softly, trying not to disturb his exhausted husband. “Bad enough you took my— identity to create this monstrosity... By its own claims you will be reducing the Empire's foremost strategist and tactician into nothing more than a sex toy for this monster if we give it what it wants. That's NOT happening.”

“We called up and harnessed a demon, Max... And forced it into your soul form. I don't think anyone believed it would work” Tarkin looked ashamed. “I—don't think we know how to safely banish it without freeing that demon and probably making the situation worse.”

Veers' eyes blazed at the Grand Moff.

“As it currently is, it cannot hurt you, its template, or Thrawn, its believed consort.” Tarkin told him solemnly. “But while I have commanded it to stay away...”

“It may still try to approach us.” Veers looked up at the ceiling in barely controlled anger. Tarkin well knew that if Veers didn't already have his arms full holding his slumbering husband, he'd probably have earned a split lip or a black eye.

“It— it did listen to me.”

The two Imperials looked at the Chiss in surprise. Thrawn pushed himself slightly off Veers' chest to look him in the eye. “I don't deny it gave me a fright, but it was releasing me before you entered.”

“Ch’eo vur...”

Thrawn gave his husband a peck on the lips. “If we must live with it underfoot, it needs to be trained.”

Jealousy, lust, anger and fear all flashed over Veers' face as he stared at his husband. Thrawn gave him a shaky smile. “I— believe— I still need a bit of time to get over this fright, but— I did notice your heart skip a beat when it mentioned a three-some.”

Veers' mouth went completely dry in astonishment. Jealousy and lust wared in his eyes, making his husband raise a speculative eyebrow at him.

Tarkin clearing his throat brought their attention back upon the Grand Moff. “We will *not* command it, Grand Admiral. Please don't think you need to—”

“There's something of an incubus in this demon's make up, isn't there?” Thrawn asked pushing himself fully off his husband now to sit on the sofa with the blankets wrapped around him like a robe.

Tarkin coughed uncomfortably as he glanced at Veers and back at Thrawn. “Unfortunately, the soldiers our Emperor gathered to do the summoning were rather impressionable youths with— a great deal of— respect for your husband.”

Veers barely held down a snort of laughter as his eyes went wide with humour then again turned dark with jealousy.

Thrawn gave Tarkin a smile which made him shiver. “You've given us a rather powerful weapon against this poor being then, Governor. It will desire to please us to be allowed near me. That makes it trainable.”

Veers' mouth dropped open in shock. “Did— did you just *weaponize* my love for you?”

Thrawn leaned back to give his husband an assuring kiss. “Nothing will replace you in my heart, Ch’eo vur. But if we must live with this thing in our lives, it needs to win our trust first.”

Veers frowned at his husband for a moment before his eyes turned wicked. “That's almost cruel.”

Thrawn squeezed his eyes shut for a moment as a shiver ran through him, prompting his husband to immediately sit up behind him and wrap his arms around him in a protective embrace. “I—believe it would be punishment enough for the fright it gave me.”

“If you are sure, Ch’eo vur?” Veers asked him softly.

“No...” Thrawn admitted in a small voice. “But apparently we must live with this thing.”

Veers heaved a big sigh before he turned his attention upon Tarkin. “All right then. So, Wilhuff? You can convey to that— demon, that it needs to court us and earn our trust; *both* of us. And that *will* be difficult after what it had done to my husband.”

“Have *you* ever turned away from a challenge?”

Veers grimaced at the reminder. “Kriff! It is going to eventually succeed, isn't it?”

“Do you doubt yourself?” Thrawn asked him teasingly.

Veers made a face. “It is going to be so strange... I'm not exactly that narcissistic, am I?”

“No, Ch’eo vur.” Thrawn let a hand slide out from under the blankets to caress the face looking over his shoulder. “And that's what will make the next few months or years interesting.”

Veers turned his face to kiss Thrawn's hand and Tarkin took that as his cue to leave.

He chuckled to himself as he imagined the range of emotions that he was quite sure would fly over the demons face to learn he *wasn't* going to be given his own Chiss, but was expected to earn the trust and love of his template and his consort.

After the debacle it caused, that was undoubtedly going to be a monumental task. Suitable punishment indeed.

When Tarkin had thrown the challenge at it, it had at first scoffed and dismissed it. But the thrice damned body and form of Maximillian Veers was another matter. It frustrated the demon. It pained it that it carried an irritating uncomfortable feeling in its black heart to be separated from the Chiss.

It couldn't even pretend and try to sneak into his presence. The Chiss *knew*. That first time was the only time it had ever fooled the Grand Admiral. Never again, it seemed. And the demon couldn't fault him for his caution after what it had done.

Guilt. This was another irritating emotion it had had to deal with after it was trapped in the new body. It wasn't comfortable with these emotions. It was miserable for days as it tried to ignore the pain it carried in its black heart.

Finally admitting defeat, the demon set about its strategies in trying to gain the trust of the pair of mortals. It was a challenge, it realised as it lightly skimmed and reviewed the memories of the companions of these two men, chronicling the careful courtship of Mitth’raw’nuruodo by Maximillian Veers.

If only it hadn't been so stupid to kriff it up so badly with their first encounter... It was going to be a hard, uphill battle... But the demon knew it had patience too.

As the weeks turned into months, and the seeds of trust finally started to bear fruit, it was much to the demon's surprise that this alien desperation it had carried in its heart had turned more into desire and need... Druk... It hadn't realised it was capable of love...

The triumph of success when it came, when it had at last earned their trust and love… It realised then that it had, in truth, lost as much as it has won. To learn to love, it had necessitated it completely embrace the identity of Maximillian Veers, essentially forgetting its life before it was trapped in this body. But— to have the love of the original Maximillian Veers and Mitth’raw’nuruodo. It was worth it.

It had rushed back with all speed. Even as far away as the Emperor had sent it, the demon had felt the distress of its loves and the stab of pain for a loss. But it was far too late.

The demon crept into their bedroom at the height of day to find its surviving love in bed from grief. “Mitth’raw’nuruodo?”

“Max? You've returned.” The Chiss turned listlessly towards him.

“Love? Ch'acah...” It asked hesitantly as it leaned closer on the bed, but not too close. Almost afraid it would find accusations blazing in its love's eyes for its absence and inability to save the only one he called his heart. But Thrawn's hand only reached out to comb his fingers through its hair and rub gently over the base of one of its horns.

“Ch'acah, I have no accusations for you.” Thrawn told it softly. It knew its surprise must have shown on its face with the man's sad smile. It had always astonished it how easily this man could read it. Veers had laughed at it once, telling it that it was much more expressive than the original.

“We've always know each other’s schedules. We knew you were off on the Emperor's business.” A light tug on its horn told the demon that the Chiss was inviting it to join him in bed.

It carefully slipped under the covers to gently pull its love into its arms, growing its stature just slightly so that it could hold the Chiss in a full encompassing embrace. It and Veers had learned over the years that whenever Mitth’raw’nuruodo was feeling particularly vulnerable and needy, he liked to be held. And the Demon found it liked growing oversized to hold both of them in its huge arms too. It pained it to realise it didn't need to grow quite that large anymore.

“Such is fate, that he would be taken from us.”

“Did you take revenge?”

“Of course. As soon as my flagship could make it here, I pulled back all our ground forces and began orbital bombardment upon the rebel camps. I did not accept surrender.”

“You left nothing for me?” It pouted in mock upset at its love.

“It's still too hot for me to send down my ground troops for a last sweep. You could do that, if you want?” Thrawn looked up at it, but quickly turned away again. And the demon knew it was because it shared the same face with Veers, and it was currently too painful for its love to look at it now.

“Do you want me to leave you?” In its black heart, it wished that the answer would be 'no'.

“I— don't want you to leave me too.” Thrawn said against its chest, his body shivering for a moment. “But I— I think I also need a bit of time alone. Will you take care of the Rebels for me, then come back?”

“I will take care of the Rebel scum for you, Ch'acah. Then I will be back, and I will never again leave your side.”

Thrawn's arms reflexively tightened over its torso. “The Emperor won't be pleased.”

“He can hang.” It growled back. “It was because of that petty mission that I wasn't here to—” It did not continue. There was no need.

When Thrawn's arms began to withdraw, it took that as the suggestion to depart. The Chiss still would not look at it as he settled back into bed to pretend sleep again as it went to the door.

The air was alive with recently departed souls when it landed planet side. The demon would take its time to gather and feast upon these lost souls as it howled its grief in the firestorm that would be left in its wake. All too aware that far above in his flagship, its surviving loved one was crying alone in their bed unable to take comfort from it that looked exactly like their lost love.

The confrontation with the Emperor was a firestorm, one which unfortunately for the Emperor shattered the binding that had been cast upon the demon, freeing it from its obligations.

Strangely enough, it realised it didn't want to shrug off the borrowed flesh. It was content to continue bound in the morals and flesh of Maximillian Veers, and tied to the Chiss by his love. And so, it returned to Mitth’raw’nuruodo's side, and the Emperor sent them both to the Unknown Regions to get the demon as far away from the core worlds as he could have them.

It took many months, but Mitth’raw’nuruodo eventually could look upon the demon again without flinching away from its visage. And eventually too, they could make love again without faltering to grief.

And as the demon had promised, it never left Mitth’raw’nuruodo's side, protecting him from all harm. Even the treachery of an assassin's blade was no match for it, as Rukh the Noghri was to discover when that Hutt spawn tried to turn the tide of the Battle of Bilbringi with his cowardly attack.

Under its protection, Mitth’raw’nuruodo was to live a charmed life as he waded into battle again and again to ensure the safety of his race and his adopted people against the Far Outsiders.

Unfortunately, there was one enemy that the demon had no defence for. Neither could he persuade his love to take up his offer to avoid the ultimate fate all mortals faced.

“Ch'acah... I cannot...”

“Mitth’raw’nuruodo... Ch'acah... you would leave me too.”

A thin hand, weak with age reached for his face. The Demon took it gently to kiss it and let its tears fall upon and moisturise the dry, greyish blue skin.

“Max... Ch'acah... You have limited yourself for far too long.” His love told it gently. “You once gave me a promise, and now with my passing you can be free at last.”

“But—”

“Tarkin forced you into this form and flesh, and you adapted well.” Thrawn told him softly. “You fought it at first, almost—almost forced yourself upon me in defiance of the spells that bound you...”

“I— how— you— you knew all this?”

“You recall being told that you are very expressive?” Thrawn smiled at him. “I knew— even in my grief for my husband's recent loss, I could see that the binding Tarkin and the Emperor cast on you was broken. You could have shrugged out of the skin of Maximillian Veers then, but you choose to stay with me.”

“Ch'acah.”

“Ch'acah... Know that I loved you too… and be free to live your own life when I am gone.” His love tugged on his hand to encourage him to lean closer. “Now give me a last kiss, and we'll say good bye, my love. Ch'eo ch'acah.”

And so, it did. A sweet press of lips against lips. And the demon drew back to look upon its love's brilliant smile before his bright red eyes seemed to fade and grew cloudy. Becoming unfocused…

“Oh... it's suddenly so bright, Ch'acah...” The demon took his love’s hand in its again as it listened to the soft rasp of his voice speaking its final words.

“What— Thrass? Brother...? Oh... Ch’eo vur...” The smile faded... The glow in his eyes did as well... And the Chiss... the demon's love was gone.

It tried. As its love had suggested, the demon shrugged off the borrowed flesh and tried to remember its life before it was caught in that ill-fated trap so long ago. How could it have realised it had imprisoned itself in a far more insidious trap with its long association with a pair of mortals.

It couldn't seem to escape. In every human, it saw the laughing visage of Maximillian Veers; in every flash of blue sky or of a blazing red sun, it thought of Mitth’raw’nuruodo. How ever far it wandered, the memories would trigger and remind it of its loneliness and lost loves.

But fate was ever an evil trickster and the demon was to one day curse and thank it for its fickleness.

It had been wandering aimlessly down a street when a sudden impact from the side unexpectedly toppled it to the ground. “What the—”

It stopped mid-snarl as it stared into a pair of familiar bright red eyes framed by a blue face. A boy. A Chiss boy.

“I'm sorry, mister.” Said a voice from somewhere else close to the ground. Another boy, the one who barrelled into him. A slightly taller, brown haired human lad with hazel eyes.

“We're sorry. We weren't watching where we were going.” The Chiss boy helped the other to stand first before the two took an arm each to try and pull it to its feet too.

“It's— it's okay. No harm, see?” The demon brushed off its clothes to look upon the two boys smiling in relief up at it.

“Mac! Tron! Where are you kids?” Just a head of them, a Chiss man waved back at them. “Come on, don't stray too far from the group. Sorry, Sir!”

“Sorry again, mister.” The little brown-haired kid told it shyly.

“But we gotta go. Coming, Russ!” The little Chiss boy nodded at it then grabbed his friend's hand to drag him off to join the man and the many more children surrounding him and a few other adults.

The Demon waved numbly as it stared after them. Maximillian Veers... Mitth’raw’nuruodo... It would recognise the two souls anywhere...

It made itself vanish before it started laughing like a mad man in the middle of the street. It should not have been surprised it that these two souls would find their way back together again when reincarnated.

And... It found itself somehow cleansed and a lightness returned to its dark heart. It felt little pull or desire to chase after these two souls again. It had already enjoyed the privilege to be allowed in their obit for one human lifetime. As Mitth’raw’nuruodo had urged of it years, or was it decades ago, it had its own life to live.

Still, it also knew it was going to look in on these two from time to time. Hopefully, this cycle would not see any of their lives cut short.

Urgh! I will never be able to do a happy sexy Demon!Veers fic. The angst monster grabbed hold and wouldn't let go again. *sigh* and now back to the WIPs that I was supposed to be working on...

Hope this was entertaining too.

#demon!veers #Angst #Thrawn #thrawn x veers #death!fic

[swfanficbyjz]

SW AU - Fate of the Master Chapter 10

<- Previous Chapter

Anakin and Obi wan had been talking for hours, there was so much to say. He’d noticed that Ahsoka had left, and though he'd worried about her alone out in the desert, he also knew that if anyone could survive out there, it was her. What was bothering him now, was that she still wasn't back. Twilight was a dangerous time to roam on Tatooine. Especially with the tusken raiders, that liked to ambush people from ridges like those around Obi wan's house. Every time he got the urge to go look for her, he had to remind himself that she wasn't his padawan anymore. She was a strong, capable woman who knew better than most how to survive alone. 

While she was gone, they'd had a good heart to heart. He'd told Obi wan about the last fight with the emperor. How Ahsoka had found him and saved him, leaving out the details about almost killing her of course. Obi wan had given him his complete attention, listening to every word he said. If he didn't know better, he'd think Obi wan missed listening to him. He'd tried to get him to talk about why he'd chosen Tatooine, or why he'd never joined the rebellion, or if there were other Jedi alive still, but he'd hit a wall. He supposed it made sense that Obi wan didn't trust him at the moment. So he'd talked and Obi wan had listened. He could tell that Obi wan didn't agree with all his new-found points of view on things, but he didn't argue with him about it. He seemed to be letting him make up his own mind about it.

He hadn't yet brought up their desire for him to help rebuild the Jedi order, he had hoped Ahsoka would be part of that conversation. Mostly he found himself admitting and apologizing for his mistakes and hoping that Obi wan didn't judge him too harshly. 

"Anakin!" Ahsoka pushed her way into the hut, breathless. He was on his feet ready to defend her.

"Ahsoka? Are you okay?"

"It's Bail; they think he's hurt but they can't find him," she said trying to catch her breath. "They figured out Palpatine was dead, but instead of fighting amongst themselves, they coordinated a massive attack on several core worlds; Coruscant, Alderaan and Chandrila!"

"What? That doesn't make any sense! The imperials never act like that unless ordered by the emperor. He couldn't have survived that. He couldn't!" Anakin had his hands on his head and was now fretting.

"The intel I got said that Grand Moff Tarkin and Admiral Thrawn led the attack." 

"Stang!" Anakin yelled. "I should've known the emperor would have had a plan besides destroying us. He probably ordered them to execute it if they didn't hear from him in a certain timeframe." Anakin was pacing around the small hut trying to think. Obi wan and Ahsoka just watched him as if they were waiting for him to lead the charge. 

 ---

 "Ahsoka! Old Ben!" Came a terrified voice from outside the hut. They looked at each other and ran to the source. Luke was tearing through the valley in an old red landspeeder being pursued by sand people with rifles. A shot hit one of the engines of the vehicle, causing it to lurch and throw its driver free of the vehicle causing it to pitch to the right and crash into the edge of the ridge. Ahsoka raced to where the boy had fallen and Obi wan ran towards the raiders yelling something at them to get them to turn away. 

Luke had been knocked out, but otherwise seemed to be un-injured. Ahsoka picked him up and carried him inside Obi wan's hut. As she tended to him, Anakin stood over them shifting uncomfortably, staring at the boy. Obi wan came inside after a few minutes. Ahsoka looked at him and he pulled out a bottle of strong smelling salts from a cabinet. 

Obi wan then dragged Anakin outside to talk, while Ahsoka tried to wake Luke up. 

"Ahsoka?" Luke said, coming to at last.

"I'm here," she said pushing him back down when he tried to sit up. 

"I saw a girl!" Luke said. "She's in trouble! I have to help her! We have to help her!" 

"Calm down, shh..." Ahsoka soothed. "Tell me what you saw."

"I was cleaning the dinner dishes, thinking about what you'd said about how loved ones appear to us in dreams. And I remembered that every so often I dream about this girl; she's got long brown hair, it's usually tied up in buns. She's beautiful, she wears these pretty white dresses. I don't know who she is. But she's kind of grown with me, if that makes any sense. Like she's always my age whenever I see her. But how could that be possible if she were dead? And then suddenly I could see her again, clear as day. She was staring at me, but as if I was a mirror. And she was pinning up her hair, humming to herself. And then there was an explosion behind her! She's hurt! She cried out to me! I have to save her!" He started getting up again and froze looking past her.

She followed his gaze and saw Anakin standing in the doorway looking at Luke. His expression was a mixture of bewilderment and concern. It had softened quickly into one of longing. So much for him not finding out he had kids just yet. But now, they had bigger problems. 

"Do you have anything faster than an eopie?" Ahsoka asked Obi wan. 

He just nodded and led the way around to the back of his hut. It was a landspeeder like Luke's but it could carry all of them. They piled in and set off as fast as they could towards Mos Eisley where Anakin and Ahsoka had left their ship. Obi wan had tried to convince Luke to return to his aunt and uncle's but he'd refused; saying he'd left them a note. From an old wooden chest, Obi wan had pulled out a lightsaber, all but Luke had recognized it. He'd glanced at Anakin before handing it to his son. Anakin had been unable to find any words and could only just watch the boy out of the corner of his eye as they made their way to the spaceport.

They navigated the still busy streets at that late hour and finally made it back to the ship. 

 ---

 Aboard their star fighter, Anakin finally managed to pull himself together to act. He jumped into the captain's seat and started the ship. Obi wan had joined him as copilot and Ahsoka sat in the cabin with Luke. She watched him as he sat there, he seemed a little green around the edges. She wanted to comfort him, but she wasn't sure what to say. The person that needed to talk to him was Anakin, but that would have to wait. 

She finally decided she couldn't stand the scared look on his face anymore and she crouched down in front of him. He looked up at her with big eyes. She put her hands over his as he held the lightsaber Obi wan had handed him with no explanation. "Do you know what this is?" She asked him softly. He shook his head. "It's a lightsaber." He looked down at it surprised. "And it's not just any lightsaber, it was your father's."

"Lightsabers... they're the weapon of a Jedi aren't they?" 

"Yes... and no..." she said standing up. She pulled off the robe she'd been wearing, grabbed the lightsabers from her belt and ignited them. They lit up the entire cabin with their white glow. Luke watched her in amazement. "Lightsabers are the weapon of choice for force wielders. The most well-known of those are the Jedi."

"My father was... is a Jedi? Like you and old Ben? Does that make me a Jedi?" Luke asked, glancing at the door to the bridge. 

At this, Ahsoka sighed and turned off her lightsabers hooking them back to her belt. She sat down across from him. "It's a complicated story that I'm not sure we have time for right now, nor am I sure that I'm the right one to tell you. But in you, there is the power and potential to be a Jedi, yes. But right now in the galaxy, being a Jedi is a very dangerous life." He looked disappointed. As if he'd always been hoping for more out of life than moisture farming. Of course, she couldn't really blame him. His demeanor may be more like his mother, but she could feel his father's spirit and need for adventure rising up in him. 

She took Anakin's lightsaber from his hands and started showing him what the different buttons and knobs did. Then she had him try it out. He was a little wobbly at first, and he sliced through a few things she hoped weren't needed for the ship to fly, but eventually he started getting the hang of it. 

"Crash course in force training," she said and began to coach him on how to reach the force, how to use it, how the lightsaber plays into it. He was an eager student, and a fast learner. Honestly, she expected no less from the offspring of the chosen one. She couldn't help but think Leia would be the same way.

"Take a break," she said after a couple hours of practice. 

Luke turned off the lightsaber. He was sweating and out of breath, but his eyes were bright like he finally found a piece of himself he'd been missing. She recognized that look. To know you're different than the other kids, but you don't know how or what it means. Then to find out there are others like you, and that what makes you different is a special gift. It's like suddenly finding your purpose in life. She remembered that feeling well.

"Ahsoka," he said after finally catching his breath. Eyes furrowing in confusion, "who is this girl that I keep seeing? You all believed me when I told you what I saw, she's real right?"

Ahsoka put her hand on his shoulder, "yes, she's real. She's your sister." He looked surprised and then nodded, as if it made perfect sense.

"We're twins aren't we? That's why when I see her, it feels like I'm looking in a mirror, or that she's looking at me like I'm the mirror." Before Ahsoka could answer, the door to the bridge opened and Anakin stood there looking down at the two of them. 

He looked like he was about to say something and then couldn't manage it. She couldn't imagine what it must be like to think his wife had died before giving birth only to find out years later that he had two kids and they're just fine. Especially on top of everything else that had happened to him. 

Thankfully, at least how Ahsoka saw it, Luke had enough questions to get the ball rolling. 

"You're my father, aren't you?" Luke asked, but it wasn't really a question. "My uncle said you'd died, just like my mother."

At this, finally Anakin found words. He sat down heavily next to his son, "in a way, I did die." He said. 

Realizing that Anakin knew what he had to say, Ahsoka got up, touched him briefly on the arm and joined Obi wan on the bridge.

 ---

 Obi wan sat in silence for a while after Ahsoka joined him. Musing to himself that he could not have imagined what this day would bring when he'd gotten up this morning. On one hand, it felt as though no time had passed and they were off on the next mission of the war. On the other, everything felt so completely absurd, he had to keep pinching himself to see if he was actually awake. The emperor was dead, Anakin was no longer Vader or a Sith Lord, Ahsoka was alive, Luke now knew who his father was and that he had a twin sister and that he could be a Jedi... Bail and Leia might be hurt somewhere... it was too much to wrap his head around. And of course, now after years of solitude and hiding, he's back in the action and has to remember how to be a Jedi. If he'd ever known to begin with. After everything he'd thought about in his isolation and everything that Anakin had told him that afternoon, he wasn't sure he really knew what a Jedi was supposed to be. He could recite the code until his dying breath, but did it mean anything to him anymore?

"There is no emotion, there is peace. There is no ignorance, there is knowledge. There is no passion, there is serenity. There is no chaos, there is harmony. There is no death, there is the force."

Every one of those statements had been proven false, time and time again. If you didn’t have emotions, you would only feel emptiness not peace. You can be ignorant even with all the knowledge possible to possess. True serenity in life comes from a sense of purpose and passion. There cannot be harmony without its opposite. And death? Yes there's death. So much death... he could count hundreds of deaths, each more painful than the last. But the worst form of death is not when your body decays, but when your spirit does. But even that you can be reborn from. Anakin was living proof of that. 

He glanced over at Ahsoka meditating next to him. "How did you find your way, without the Jedi?" He asked her.

"It was difficult," she answered without opening her eyes. "But I followed my instincts. I tried to live like I'd been taught whether I was a Jedi anymore or not, but after the purge, I opened my eyes to the rest of the world. And I started seeing all the things I'd never noticed before. I think it was living amongst non-force wielders that truly made me understand what I was, what I had, and what I needed to do. I don't ever remember being that sure while I was at the temple. I was taught how to be a Jedi, but never how to be a person. Anakin tried to, but he didn't know either. I'm not sure any of us really did."

Obi wan chewed on her words for a while. Now that he really thought about it, she was right. In pursuit of being protectors of humanity, they lost their own. 

"Thank you for doing what I could not." He said after a few minutes of silence.

At this, she did open her eyes, "what is that?" She asked confused.

"For saving him."

"Oh..." she breathed and patted his arm.

"All those years, I always thought I was doing what was best for him, only to find out... I didn't ever know what was best for him. You clearly knew better how to reach him then I ever did."

"When you're trying to learn from someone, it's easier to listen to them." She said simply.

"I listened to him all the time," Obi wan sighed. "I just never heard him." 

"You can't blame yourself. Anakin was a hard person to reach. All I ever did was love him, and it still took a lot to get through to him." 

"How did you, finally?" He asked her.

"I followed him into the darkness." She answered a little tentatively as if she believed he'd be appalled. She was right, he was appalled, but not that she'd done it, but rather that she'd survived it. She certainly didn’t feel tainted. "It's not true what they taught us, you know. Turning to the dark side, doesn't mean you're lost to the light forever." She pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. Obi wan watched her, waiting for her to go on, but she didn't. 

When she was training with Anakin, he'd always thought her fearlessness was foolish, but now he saw the true bravery in her. Fearlessness had a cost, and it wasn't always your life, or the lives of others. Sometimes it was just seeing too much. He thought back to the beginning of the Clone Wars and his trying time on Zigoola. What it had been like to be consumed by the darkness and want to destroy everything in your path. It had taken every ounce of will he’d had to fight it, and even so, he lost the battle many times. He remembered what it was like fighting Anakin on Mustafar. And that was before he'd been completely transformed into Vader. What Ahsoka must have borne witness to in order to find him in the darkness, he wasn't even sure he wanted to imagine. And to understand what it must have been like to fight it… he’d never think her fearlessness as foolish, ever again.

Next chapter ->

[justawanderingdragon]

(click for captions)

This is, like, super late, but I just wanna brag about the awesome time I had at AwesomeCon. First off, let me say that I have never been to a con before, so I was completely out of my depth going into this.

Highlights:

There was an entire panel dedicated to crack SW theories. It was glorious. One of the moderators was the creator of the infamous @emoKyloR3n twitter and she apologized for the lack of updates. There was a hilarious discussion on how Rey’s lack of parentage fits in with the theme of poor female reproductive healthcare in the SW universe. I got to say my ridiculous Rey-is-a-test-tube-baby theory and some guy came up to me afterwards to say that he 100% believed my theory. There was another guy who was absolutely convinced Rey was a Fett (wtf???).

Pictures! So many pictures! I don’t want to brag, but it felt great being in a cosplay I loved throughout the day (it was also pretty comfy - I didn’t need to bring a bag because the pants are scrubs and have like ten pockets). I feel like the weird cosplayers are definitely part of the “attraction” of a con, and I really felt like I was a part of the whole experience. It was great. That full-body photo was taken by geek-prime.com almost as soon as I walked in.

I met my steampunk counterparts! I also met a Wheatley, but I’m not gonna post that photo, because I had my eyes closed. There was a companion cube wandering around, but unfortunately I never met up with them.

At the SW panel, I won a book raffle for Thrawn.

I got a discount Lil’ Sebastian shirt for my sister.

David Tennant was there, but I missed his panel, goddammit.

John Barrowman was there. Apparently he was wearing a TARDIS onesie.

I saw a cute little lightsaber show.

So many science panels! I saw one on alternate dimensions (shoutout @alternatefalls), one with an astronaut, and even one on Antarctic paleontology. When I was younger, I wanted to be a paleontologist and then an astrophysicist, so seeing my childhood passions in this environment was so satisfying.

To all the cosplayers I saw: you all were absolutely amazing! Seeing everyone’s passion and creativity was definitely the best part of the whole experience. If you see this post and your photo (thanks for letting me take your photo, btw), notice me so I can put your url in the caption!

Honestly, I had such a good time. I don’t get out and “do things” a lot, so this was a nice change of pace. I really, really enjoyed this, probably more than I’ve enjoyed anything else in a while. There was just an amazing positivity to the environment that made me fall in love with the whole con experience. There’s another, smaller con coming up and I’m thinking of going. Maybe make a new cosplay, maybe enter a contest. Who knows? It’s nice to have fun for a change.

#awesomecon #w

[thedistantstorm]

Project Compass 27

Read along on AO3 Here

<< Previous Chapter <<     >> Next Chapter >>

This time: Ar’alani, Mitth’raw’nuruodo, and Eli’van’to finally have the talk.

Next time: Ivant and Thrawn seek out an old ally.

-/

Ar’alani was furious. One look at Thrawn and she knew that he’d known. His eyes were wide and his focus was off, as though he’d just been given knowledge that was too much to process. His usual clarity had been replaced by an obvious haze. It had been a possibility, even more now that she had promoted him to be her second in command. Among her staff, only Senior Captain Kresh knew somewhat of Project Compass’s objectives, but she’d sent him away to bring her key players closer. Kresh understood that Ivant’s project was far superior to his pride.

The admiral allowed his floundering to carry on for the rest of the shift, only expressing her disdain for his unusually sloppy behavior with sharp commands to set him back on track and several sighs between impressive eye rolls. The rest of her bridge crew were too busy being concerned with her mood to notice that the captain was consumed by his thoughts, and only when there was less than an hour to go in the shift did she vacate the bridge with a sharp order for Thrawn to seek her out the moment he completed his own duties.

Then, when the hydraulics of the aft doors closed behind her, she raised Captain Ivant on comms. Vehemently, she hissed, “If you are not in my office by the time I arrive-”

“I’m already waiting for you, ma’am,” Ivant cut in, apologetic and polite - or at least as polite as one could be, interrupting their furious commanding officer. “I know,” He added, softer.

She didn’t bother replying, stalking through the hallways of her ship like a predator who’d scented a wounded animal. It took only a few minutes to reach her office from the bridge. She swept past Ivant as she entered, ignoring his rise to attention and salute, the fist clenched over his heart. She did not tell him to sit. “You will tell me everything,” She growled. “You. Will. Not. Lie.”

“Yes, admiral,” Ivant said, determination flavoring his tone.

So it was to be like that, she thought to herself. Ivant would go on the defensive, insisting that he had good reason to go against her. She didn’t doubt that he understood the situation, that he would inform Thrawn of their secrets so lightly, but she also knew he was loyal to Thrawn, to a fault. He saw the best in him - like she did - but at times (most times, she thought, though she’d tried to help him see reason over his devotion) to a far more blinding degree. She didn’t enjoy keeping Thrawn out of the loop, of course. It was a handicap she didn’t enjoy. Thrawn’s reasoning skills, his ability to see what others did not, was help they could use. However, Ar’alani was not willing to risk telling secrets to anyone who would likely end up in enemy hands, who was a prize so clearly coveted. It was not personal.

The slightest roll of her desk chair was silent, the tension in the room thick as she positioned herself comfortably, one leg crossed over the other, shoulders pulled back, posture coiled like a serpent waiting to strike. She watched him evaluate her, assess her emotions. Good, she thought, watching him swallow, noticing the slightest heak peeking out beneath from his high-collared tunic. He should be worried. Any other admiral would have him detained without hearing him out. She could tell he knew.

“You told Mitth’raw’nuruodo,” She accused.

“Yes,” He agreed, meeting her gaze head on. He did not defend himself further.

“Yes?” Her tone escalated sharply, mezzo-alto to soprano, like the opening notes of a furious symphony. “Tell me, Eli’van’to, why I am not reaching across this desk to beat you senseless. It is becoming a more enticing possibility by the second.” She clenched her fists, then folded them across the desk in front of her.

“Vah’nya and Un’hee had already begun telling him the nature of our work,” He began slowly, choosing his words with the care indicative of his fragile position. “Un’hee coerced Thrawn into speaking with her privately. Vah’nya caught them, and pulled them aside. She believed to control what information Un’hee was about to leak, since she did not believe Mitth’raw’nurodo would let it go without a fight.”

It was probable, however, “Did you conspire with either Navigator?”

“No,” Eli said, and at Ar’alani’s frightening glower, the way her eyes glowed with the promise of retribution for lying to her, he added, “Not that the thought didn’t cross my mind, but I would like to think I have some honor and I don’t particularly enjoy manipulating innocent Navigators to play military politics, whether they’re willing to or not.”

Admiral Ar’alani’s focus remained pointed, like a blade, sharp on his face. He did not flush further, there was no tic to indicate that he’d been lying. Eli’van’to had learned a long time ago not to lie, especially not to a Chiss if at all possible, and most importantly never to lie to her. It struck her that he didn’t typically lie at all, not even in the beginning, which was likely more of an ingrained character trait than anything Thrawn could have taught. Thrawn was a master at deception and half-truths, and that, Ar’alani had always believed, was because he’d been capable of deceiving even himself on some level. It would have been a useful skill with the Aristocra and the Admiralty had her not been so inept at the art of politics. Sometimes she wondered how far the Empire’s ruler had dangled him on precarious puppet strings before he realized he’d been made into a pawn. Other times she wondered if he knew and simply valued himself so little in regards to what he believed would benefit the greater good.

If there was one trait both her captains shared, it was extreme understatement of their value to the Ascendancy as the fundamental beings they were.

She sighed and waved her hand, her anger cresting like a wave reaching shore and rolling back within the greater sea. “Sit, Ivant,” She ordered, sighing.

He nodded and did so, waiting for her to continue. She did, though not without rubbing her temples first. “You sought to control things as Vah’nya did,” She supposed. “Were you successful?”

“They told him there’s no antidote, and how he survived the incident back on the Compass. I rather thought that was enough.”

“Obviously. He floundered through the rest of his shift as if concussed. Did he see how it works?”

“No. You know the girls, they’re not for needless violence, though Thrawn did ask.”

“I am not surprised,” She said. “Though I am quite concerned that Vah’nya agreed.”

“So am I,” Ivant nodded, crossing his arms as he leaned back, collecting his thoughts. “She believed that the semantics of how Thrawn learned - being told before he could discover it for himself - would change things.”

“Yes, she’d said as much to me,” Ar’alani hummed. “But do you believe it?”

“They do,” He said, but conceded, “I don’t know what to think. Vah’nya definitely wasn’t keen on telling him more than what Un’hee knows, which, thankfully, isn’t all that much.”

The admiral pursed her lips, considering. “Would you tell him the rest?”

“Our research, yes. The other part,” Eli shook his head. “Not yet. That doesn’t leave the three of us.”

“Good,” She interrupted, stroking her chin thoughtfully. “We are on the same page then.”

Ivant wasn’t able to contain his look of surprise. “Really? You want to reveal our research? I thought-”

Ar’alani rose from her desk, the captain following her with a subtle turn of his head as she procured liquor and glasses - three glasses, Eli noted - from the auspiciously located cabinet near her memory wall. “I do not enjoy keeping secrets, though I suspect you have always assumed otherwise.”

“It’s part of command, ma’am,” He offered tentatively. “I understand the necessity.”

“Yes,” She agreed, “But we both have larger aspirations. If Un’hee and Vah’nya trust him with their most precious secrets - in spite of my wishes - I must take that into account and adapt. It is a new dawn in the Ascendancy. It must be. I must trust them, as I trust you, and as I hope you have come to trust me.”

“I do, Admiral.” He paused, then revised, “Ar’alani.”

She nodded. “Very good, Ivant.”

-/

Thrawn found himself confronted with the last thing he had been expecting to see when he arrived for his post shift-report: Eli, sitting across from Ar’alani, the ornate decanter set in the middle of the desk, liquor of varying levels in each of their glasses as they conversed quietly.

“I’ll spare you the tedium,” She said, gesturing to the vacant seat to Eli’s left. “You are off duty. Sit.” She nodded to Eli, who pulled the stopper from the top of the decanter and poured a healthy glass of liquor - too much for Chiss standards - into a third glass Thrawn hadn’t been able to see.

Still recovering, Thrawn said with confusion shadowing his features, “This isn’t necessary, I-”

“Sit,” Ar’alani ordered. “I happen to know you like this particular infusion, and after the day you’ve had, you obviously need something a bit more bracing than the Navigator’s wintermint tea.”

Thrawn looked between both of them, mind already at work. “You told her what the Navigators and I discussed,” He said to Eli.

Ivant’s eyebrows rose, almost as if questioning Thrawn’s reason to believe he wouldn’t have told the Admiral.

“Navigator Vah’nya insinuated you had autonomy.”

“He does,” Ar’alani answered, then desisted as her answering for the human in their midst only suggested otherwise.

Said human took a slow pull from his drink. “Still, it’s a matter of trust. You gave it away before I could tell her, though, which is part of why you’re here.”

“I will admit that this is a bit of a surprise.”

“Yes,” Ar’alani admitted. “You sent him here to identify Navigators within our midst,” Her lips curled in the beginnings of a smile. “You should know he’s entirely failed at realizing that objective.”

His eyes caught Eli’s glass, inclined in her direction in a sarcastic toast.

Instead of a rebuke, her smile warmed. That was arguably more startling than Eli’s improper gesture in the wake of their commanding officer. “What he has contributed is far more valuable,” She said. “It sounds fantastical, doesn’t it?”

“Navigators who can heal,” Thrawn said, after a very tiny sip of his drink. His voice was quiet, awed, almost hoarse. “Because of a desire to protect.”

Ar’alani’s curved lips took on a true smile, then. Though severe, there was a kindness, a warmth behind her eyes that her smile seemed to brighten, like kindling catching fire. “Yes. A concept that I did not understand until it was shown to me.”

“You’ve seen their abilities at work?” Thrawn asked her.

“In extremes? Twice. Most recently when Un’hee stepped in to save your life,” She began. “The first… it was a little more than two years ago now,” She informed him, her eyes flickering to Ivant before settling back on Thrawn. “On Copero.”

“Vah’nya didn’t elaborate with Un’hee in the room,” Eli said as he knocked back the rest of his drink. He hadn’t had it on the desk before Ar’alani had lifted the decanter to refill his glass. They shared a glance. “Good times,” He said softly.

“That was anything but. You,” She gestured to Ivant, “Were lost. We were waiting for your heart to stop.” She didn’t comment on Thrawn lifting his drink to his lips, nor how it remained poised in front of what must have been one hell of a frown if the furious, unmasked concern his eyes was any indication. She blinked slowly, pulling up the memory in her mind’s eye. “And Vah’nya had all but been pronounced clinically insane.”

For Thrawn’s benefit, Eli cut in. “The Grysks tortured us for months. We managed to escape, but there was a price for doing so,” He said, without further explanation. “I wasn’t conscious when the Steadfast found us. Separating her from me wasn’t-” He shrugged. “Judging by the way Un’hee clung to you after she’d helped you, I believe it’s a psychosomatic side effect. It’d be like leaving someone vulnerable without adequate guards posted to protect them.” He swallowed a little more of his drink and set the glass on Ar’alani’s desk. “But I wasn’t able to tell them, and Vah’nya was conscious and traumatized. Without seeing it, it’s not easy to believe, but it isn’t something to be done lightly.”

“It does not seem to hurt them, though it does take a great deal of energy,” Ar’alani explained.

Thrawn looked between them, then settled his gaze on Eli. “You said there was a price for your escape,” He trailed off, expectantly.

“A bomb on one of the inner hatches. I never would have deactivated it in time, and it would have killed Vah’nya, so,” He didn’t go on about his injuries. “I knew about her abilities, they were the only reason I’d lived as long as I had. She couldn’t heal me completely, mind you, but she’s a smart woman. She’d pulled me back from the brink more times than I could count. She thought it was selfish,” He admitted, gazing at something unseen at a distance, “But I didn’t want to die any more than she wanted to be left alone.”

“Anyway,” Ar’alani interrupted, when her human captain said no more, her voice soft and far-away, “I had allowed Vah’nya to see him, against my better judgement.” She smiled softly. “She’d been non-verbal for days, but when I led her into his room, she sat at the edge of his bed, took his hand in hers and, well,” Ar’alani shrugged. “It was like the mediation the Jedi-boy is so fond of,” She said, “It was strange, seeing her in a trance like that, even as the damage done to him seemed to melt away.”

“I came to the next morning,” Eli took over, jolting Thrawn from his thoughts. “Now, we think that the time away was probably for the best. Vah’nya would have exhausted herself to the point of self-harm to heal me. She had been, for a long while.”

Thrawn looked at the glass in his hands, his fingers woven tightly around it. “Was Un’hee harmed treating my affliction?” He asked carefully.

“We watched over her,” Ar’alani said. “Both of us. She was tired, but not harmed.”

“Without being injured, the girls are stronger than we give them credit for. There are more factors than physical strength at play. Force of will, compassion, a lot of it plays into things,” Ivant told him. “There’s more though.”

Ar’alani nodded. “You failed to predict navigators as we’d hoped you would,” She began, her gaze sharply focused on Eli. “But you did tell us how to keep them.”

“Keep them?”

Ar’alani pulled a holopad from her desk, passed through several layers of encryption, and toggled a key to project data in front of them. “This data is pulled from key Navigators. We cannot provide funding for mysticism - even if we can prove its existence - without providing some kind of data, something to indicate we can replicate what we’ve achieved, even if it’s improbable.”

“You’ve found a way to identify which Navigators are more likely to present with this ability?” Thrawn frowned. “Why now? Surely if this ability were possible we would have-”

Ar’alani pointed to Ivant.

“No. The Navigators are the ones responsible,” He said. “Not me.”

“Yes, you,” She said. “You are the reason Vah’nya was strong enough to subject herself to the Grysks. Your courage inspired her to be brave. Your compassion and sacrifice lit a fire within her. And Un’hee,” She shook her head. “That girl believes you to be the guardian she so desperately desires. You protect and encourage her. You teach her to convert her weaknesses into strengths, where we would have told her to cover them up and move beyond them.”

Sensing his obvious discomfort, Ar’alani addressed Thrawn. “The Ascendancy owes you a great debt, Mitth’raw’nuruodo. You sent us an ally that may very well save our people from the crippling darkness that threatens to consume us from within.”

“By healing them?”

“Look at the data, Thrawn,” Ar’alani gestured to the projection between them.

Bright red eyes scanned through the orange and blue data, the numbers that peaked and stayed, the indicator marks. “Exposure to Navigators who have come into this ability will allow them to more easily attain the levels necessary to manifest it themselves,” Thrawn observed.

“Correct,” Eli seemed to adopt a teaching tone. “What else?”

“It is linked to emotional maturity. How they process their emotions. The ones with higher emotional output, in terms of neural activity indicated here, are more likely to be good candidates.” Thrawn said.

“They are,” He agreed. “We have many candidates identified. The younger ones will be easier to work with, but it would be foolish to discredit older Navigators who are more self aware.”

Ar’alani toggled another chart on her pad. “And this, Mitth’raw’nuruodo. Tell me what you see.”

“These two are higher than the rest,” He began. “Navigators Un’hee and Vah’nya?” He questioned, to which the admiral nodded. “You did not collect as much neural data before this happened.” He indicated a peak, before a plateau in the far longer line that indicated Vah’nya’s brain activity. “This was after her time with the Grysks,” He said, standing as if the projection were tangible. He followed the line. “It had been steadily diminishing,” He reasoned, “But ceased after she’d-” Thrawn whirled around to face Eli as the hand he’d had outstretched flew back to cover his mouth.

Eli smiled, and this time it was unrestrained, genuine.

“We do not have all the data yet from Un’hee, but as you can see, her levels have begun to even out at a level far exceeding Vah’nya’s, even before she managed to save your life,” Ar’alani said, though it could have fallen on deaf ears for how little Thrawn reacted to her words. She sighed, exasperated. Neither man seemed to pay attention to another slow, deliberate roll of her eyes. “Ivant, tell him before he keels over. I believe he wishes to hear it from you.”

Thrawn swallowed, his hand falling away from his face. His expression was serious. “I do,” He said intently, inflection heavy with some mix between seriousness and formality. “I want you to tell me what you have discovered, Eli’van’to.”

“The data suggests,” Eli said, standing to face his fellow captain and indicating the relevant points on the graph from memory, “That the Navigators who are capable of healing will not lose their Sight.”

“Never?” Thrawn asked in that same odd tone.

“That is my belief. Vah’nya and Un’hee say it is something intrinsic that they can tell, in the way they have visions and feel things differently than we do. The data supports that theory.”

“Welcome to Project Compass, Mitth'raw'nuruodo,” Ar’alani said. “I trust what we’ve discussed will remain in the highest confidences, and will not be discussed with your aide.” She inclined her head. “You may go now,” She said dismissively, though there was a spark in her eye as she looked between them. “Both of you.”

They both turned to her, stiffening to attention before stepping back out into the officer’s corridor. Thrawn’s face had gone blank, and so Eli looked up at him in concern. “You okay?” He asked carefully. “I know that was a lot.”

“Mm,” Thrawn hummed. They walked together, side by side. “What Ar’alani said, about you being the catalyst-”

“She’s over exaggerating,” Eli interrupted. “As I have been telling her for some time now, I simply hope I can give them the tools to succeed. Nothing more.”

“On the contrary,” Thrawn said, hand wrapping around Eli’s wrist to stop him from continuing on. He waited until Eli had turned and was looking up at him. Even then, he didn’t pull away. “I believe her,” He said. He searched Eli’s eyes, reveling in how unguarded he was, how natural his confidence presented itself. “I underestimated you. I believed I knew your potential, but I was wrong. You are so much more.” He put his unoccupied hand on Eli’s cheek, his fingertips just barely grazing the soft, rich brown hair at Eli’s temples.

A smaller, darker hand covered the one pressed to Eli’s face as they drew closer together. “You’re saying that because of what I’ve done,” He said softly. “It’s what anyone would have.”

“Not anyone.” His gaze grew more intense, flicked down towards Eli’s lips and back, and couldn’t help meeting the other man’s gentle smile with one to match as he drove the point home. “Only you.”

“Thrawn, I-”

“There you are!” Both Thrawn and Eli flinched back as Ezra approached from behind Thrawn. Eli couldn’t help the small, bashful smirk as Thrawn’s forehead wrinkled in displeasure. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you. You just kinda left me and I need to know-”

“I will meet you in my quarters shortly. It’s been keyed to recognize biometrics,” Thrawn said, waving him off without even turning to face the Jedi. “Do you not need to meditate?”

“Meditate?” Ezra cocked his head. “No, I’m fine, wh- oh. Karabast,” He swore.

Eli smirked, more amused than upset. “I have some things to take care of myself,” He said, “You know,” He stepped back from Thrawn, their fingertips catching as he pulled away from the hand wrapped around his wrist. He wove their fingers together and squeezed gently before pulling away, “We’ll talk soon, okay?”

Thrawn’s eyes fluttered closed as he accepted the temporary defeat. “I will hold you to that, Ivant.”

He leaned forward and whispered in sun-warmed Sy Bisti, “I like it better when you call me Eli, Captain,” Before spinning on his heel and heading off, leaving Thrawn to stare after him.

“Yeah,” Ezra drawled from behind him, now very much aware of his intrusion. “So…”

Thrawn whirled around and gave him a sinister look.

“I am so sorry,” He said, as Thrawn moved past him. “Though,” He tried to catch up with the far taller man’s strides, “To be fair, if you were about to kiss him, you probably should have picked a less open space. In fact,” He tried, though there was not a chance in hell it would help things, “You could say it’s probably for the best that I interrupted…”

#thranto #mitth'raw'nuruodo #eli vanto #ar'alani #eli vanto/thrawn #sw fanfiction #ezra you little shit #this is the chapter where i finally lit a match in this slow burn #there's actual flirtation and everything #also thrawn loves eli for his brain power #and also because he's a beautiful sunshine boy and there could be no greater gift to the ascendancy #also when this started i never envisioned ar'alani and eli having the relationship they do but i have exactly zero regrets #my writing

[thedistantstorm]

Project Compass 02

Read Along on AO3 Here

<< Previous Chapter <<     >> Next Chapter >>

This time: Ezra spends some quality time with his new commanding officer and learns a little about the Chiss.

Next time: Thrawn is visited by Vah’nya and exchanges a handful of words with Eli. Ezra senses something in the Force.

-/

“Alright,” Ezra began, the moment the door to the suite shut behind them, “What the kriff is going on here?”

The suite itself was minimal and compact. A small common space with a worktable and charging stations for datapads and electronics, an economy sized fresher that was likely nicer than anything the young Jedi had ever had access to, and two small but separate sleeping quarters. It was clearly designed with a use similar to theirs in mind, but perhaps one that was more political in origin. Plenty of officials had aides and secretaries that lived hardly an arm’s length away.

“You’ll have to ask a more pointed question than that,” Thrawn indulged him instead of remaining silent as he wanted to. He needed time to work through this, and there wasn’t a singular painting that would help him make sense of any of it. His primary objective at this juncture was to keep Ezra relatively happy while integrating him with Chiss standards - most of which he fell short of, sloppy and unregimented from his time with the Rebellion.

“Fine.” Ezra dropped to the small sofa, sitting on the end furthest from the door. “Why are they punishing you?”

Blinking once, Thrawn asked another question in hopes of getting more of the younger man's perspective rather than admitting that he too was at a loss. “You do not agree with their judgement?”

“It’s not that. What you did was wrong,” He lingered on the word for emphasis. “But you explained it to me. I don’t have any reason to believe you were lying and I kinda have a way to fact check, even if you’re more difficult to get a read on than most. Plus,” He gestured between them, “You could have killed me plenty of times.”

“As you could also could assassinate me with ease, even now.”

“Not the point.” Ezra frowned. “I’m here because you asked me to be. You’re not-” He exhaled, clearly put out. “I’m only going to say this once, so savor this moment.” He made sure to hold Thrawn’s intense gaze. “You’re the most intelligent person I’ve ever met. You see things that take me eons to figure out, even with the Force to guide you. Sure, you made mistakes, but this is a waste. You should be in command.”

“Perhaps someday, I will be again.”

“You said that threats to your people were serious. That the Ascendancy was in extreme danger.”

“That is correct.”

“So…" He held his hands out as if Thrawn's words were something he could carry. "Why are we here together? What good can you do stuck here, babysitting me?" Ezra shrugged. "You know? Kallus always said they stuck people out of the way in 'menial tasks,'" He airquoted, rolling his eyes. "So-"

“The Chiss are not the same as the Galactic Empire.”

“Yeah, I’ve noticed.” Ezra tilted his head, inquisitive. “They don’t seem too bad. A little stuffy, but not unnecessarily cruel. Though the child soldier thing bothers me.”

“The Force does not manifest the same.”

“I remember,” Ezra said. "And the kids here seem to like what they're doing.”

“They take their duties very seriously,” Thrawn answered, stepping easily into the segue as their conversation was not worth continuing. “As should we. The Chiss do not sleep as much as humans, as I am sure you know from our time together. You should rest while you can. We will have a long day ahead of us tomorrow.”

“Me, yes, you, no. The Captain said I can shadow him. He’ll be able to translate so I won’t need you to accompany me until the afternoon.” Ezra shrugged. “He said instructions would be sent to our datapads.”

Thrawn retrieved his, noticing that yes, there was a notification present, a tiny indicator light flashing with the news. He scanned it quickly. He was under no obligation to report for duty until mid-afternoon, just as Ezra had said. “And in the afternoon we will be tested.”

“Great,” Ezra deadpanned. “Just great.”

“The Ascendancy has high standards, Bridger.”

“I'm realizing that. Which is why I can’t tell if it’s pride or if they really think you messed up that you’re stuck catering to me. You’re a Grand Admiral. You outrank that Ar-whoever-”

“Admiral Ar’alani,” Thrawn corrected. “Should you make that mistake in her presence you will regret it.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Ezra remained casual despite it. “You’re still-”

“In the Imperial Navy, perhaps. I was a Commander in the Chiss Fleet before I was sent to the Empire. I am not an Admiral here.”

“Yeah, but-”

“My ranking in the Imperial hierarchy is no longer relevant.” Thrawn glared at him. “My actions, however, are.”

“Agreed,” Ezra turned the conversation back to the previous topic. “By that logic, shouldn’t the Chiss want to turn you loose on your enemies? You know how to pick apart your opponents. Captain Ivant could be my translator instead and they could use you more effectively. I mean, he seems to work pretty closely with the Jedi - I mean, with the Skywalkers,” He corrected himself, trying to use the correct term. “He’s the one teaching the Navigators basic. The little girl, Un’hee, I think? She told me so while we were waiting for you on the shuttle.”

There was no reply. Thrawn turned sharply and went into the room that had his name in Chiss script projected above the biometric entry sensor without so much as a goodnight. The door closed behind him with a hydraulic hiss of finality. Ezra stayed rooted to the spot, staring at the closed door for a long moment.

"Was it something I said?" He asked the empty room.

-/

Un'hee retrieved him ten minutes before they were to meet the Captain in his office. She had a bounce in her step that she had lacked the previous day. He learned during their walk over that she was the youngest Navigator on board at eight years old, but that she had served the Ascendancy for a little more than three years. Her dark blue black hair shows mostly black under the ship's lighting. It's threaded into a simple braid that trails halfway down her back.

Together, they knock on Captain Ivant's door and step back, waiting for him to answer.

"Good morning, Eli!" The girl said in Basic that was bright and almost completely lacking in the Chiss accent.

The twang of Ivant's accent was far stronger, worn and lived in. "Good morning," He bid them both before addressing the Chiss in her native tongue.

"I am to join the other Navigators for the morning meal and our studies," She translated for Ezra's benefit. "I hope I will meet you for our evening meal?"

Ezra looked to Ivant, who nodded. "After his testing, I'm sure that can be arranged. He'll be hungry."

Un'hee smiled brightly, dipping in what almost appeared like a curtsey, but was incredibly subdued. "Until then, Ezra'Bridger."

The door closed behind her and only once she left did Ivant motion for Ezra to join him. He did not sit behind the desk, though. Instead, he went to a worktable, a more even space.

"I asked the cooks to bring our morning meal to us," He said, gesturing for Ezra to sit. "I figured you would have questions, and it would be best to address those before I take you around to see the ship and our crew." He paused. "I wasn't sure how much you knew about the Chiss, considering," He leaned back in his chair, at ease, "So I figured some informal education on what to expect might help you with what you face later today."

Ezra frowned. "Thrawn told me a bit," He replied, hesitantly defensive. Sure, there was no love lost between them, but their fragile arrangement was born of respect, for the most part. Ezra respected Thrawn's ridiculous genius as much as he was infuriated by it, and he suspected it was the same way with Thrawn and Ezra's strength with the Force.

"Did he tell you that the Chiss can see in infrared?" Ezra's lack of reaction had Ivant continuing. "It’s not full on heat-mapping but, any blush, any time you're red in the ears or your face feels hot, they know. To them, it looks like an exploitable weakness."

“Now that you say it,” Ezra supposed, “It makes sense.”

“The Chiss are proud and regimented. To be a human in their midst is not an easy thing. They’re… kind of like the Empire when it comes to aliens, but hard work and respect will sway them. Having Force abilities will help you, but you won’t have it easy proving yourself to them.”

"Is that how it was for you?"

Before the Captain can answer, the door to the office opens and a Chiss male steps in wearing a uniform and carrying two trays that smell sweet and earthy.

"A moment," Ivant said, switching briefly to the Cheunh to thank the chef. It was apparent the young man's mouth was watering, but instead of going for his plate, he opted to reach for the mug of red-brown tea perched benignly beside it. It didn't smell like anything, so he raised it to his lips.

It more than made up for the lack of smell with flavor, though, strong and spicy, too sharp for Ezra's senses. He sputtered and tried to set it back without being noticed, but the chef was staring. Ivant shook his head curtly, said something rueful-sounding based on context, and dismissed the chef. Once the Chiss had left, he admonished Ezra lightly. "I told you to wait."

"I thought it was the tea I was smelling," He said, coughing.

"No. It's the egg," Ivant pointed at it with his utensil. The size of it was impressive, at least half the size of his hand and green tinted. Beside it were some blue-black roots of some sort, and there was some sort of dusty pinkish bread set off to the side. The colors were wild, but food was food, and Ezra had spent enough of his childhood living on scraps to appreciate a meal regardless of his opinions on palatability. "The tea is… invigorating. You either love or hate it."

Ezra peeked over at the Captain's tray. He had a larger far mug of it than Ezra did. "You like it?"

"I do." He took a sip of it. "There is caf in the mess hall, though, so be advised that you will survive."

Exhaling, Ezra chanced a grin at his new commanding officer. Ivant didn't smile at him, exactly, but he didn't look angry either. Breakfast was an interesting affair. The food was delicious in combination, though Ezra couldn't stand what Ivant called 'ice root' (the Chiss word wasn't something he could hope to repeat) unless it was paired with the sweet egg. The bread was soft and chewy, good alone but better when he followed the Captain's lead and used it to soak up runny egg yolk.

Afterward, he quizzed Ezra in a way that almost made him forget it was a test, of sorts. What he knew of the Chiss - almost nothing, what he knew of the Ascendancy - even less, despite what insights he'd gained during his debrief, and then, lastly, of Thrawn - which was more than either of the first two subjects combined, but Ezra had the feeling he was hoping for more information than what had come up during the extensive debrief. Still, Ezra was honest, and told the Captain all he knew.

"Commander Mitth'raw'nuruodo may allow you to use his core name," Captain Ivant said, "But that's not typical of how the Chiss do things with newcomers. "In fact, I would suggest you ask him how he would prefer you to address him. He likely offered his core name to you because it is easier to pronounce, instead of an extension of trust."

"I think Mitt-Mitth- ugh, Thrawn trusts me. I’m here, aren’t I?"

"I do not believe that Mitth'raw'nuruodo trusts anyone. His fate may be tied to you, Ezra Bridger," Ivant looked thoughtful, "And that will lead him to cater to you. Things here have changed since he left. He has much to learn as well, and far fewer allies than when he left."

"Have you told him that?"

"I don't have to. He already knows."

Ezra considered that a moment, filed it away for further reflection. "So, wait. Core names. You're not Chiss."

"Clearly," Ivant didn't laugh, but amusement flavored his tone. "You want to know what my name is."

"Iv Ant?" Ezra frowned. It didn't sound like much of a name.

"Ivant is a core name that the Chiss gave me. I'm originally from Wild Space, if the accent didn't tell you that."

It had. "So they just took from the middle of your names?"

"They did." He tilted his head, appraising Ezra for a long moment, as if curious about what he'd do with the knowledge, or perhaps interested in Ezra's response. The question didn't seem to upset him, though. "My name is Eli Vanto."

#Eli Vanto/Thrawn #thranto #Ezra Bridger #Mitth'raw'nuruodo #Eli Vanto #grand admiral thrawn #my writing #sw fanfiction #star wars rebels #star wars fanfiction #un'hee