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bestillmyslashyheart · 4 years

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your colorful touch

for the amazing and wonderful @iwontbeyourmedicine. Happy Birthday!!!

It was a probably a bad idea, definitely a dick move, but Alex was just drunk enough not to care.

He watched Maria hang off of Michael’s arm, watched her trail her fingers up his bare forearm as she walked away, and he got up from his stool, walked over to Michael, and dragged his fingers along the path Maria had just traced. Michael was too startled to move away and only stared at Alex in surprise and then suspicion. “Alex?” He asked when Alex turned to leave without a word. Alex didn’t say anything, didn’t even look back at him as he walked back over to his stool. The entire encounter had taken less than 30 seconds. Maria came out of the back and walked over to Michael just as he sat down and he drained his glass as he heard her squeal in excitement. “Oh my god!” She half-yelled. “Michael!”

There was a mirror over the bar that showed the rest of the room and Alex stared at Michael and Maria’s reflections in it. Michael hadn’t moved from where Alex left him. Maria was standing in front of him, clutching his hand excitedly as she stared down at his forearm. Bright colorful lines marred his skin in the exact pattern Maria (and then Alex) had traced.

“I’m your soulmate!” Maria realized in a hushed yell. Michael stared at her wide eyed but didn’t say anything as she kissed him and then hugged him. Over her shoulder, Michael glared at Alex across the bar, their eyes meeting in the mirror. Alex offered him a smirk before looking away.

As Maria chattered on happily behind him, he stared down at his finger and the colorful mark on its tip that perfectly matched the colors on Michael’s skin.

“Want another?” Logan, the bartender asked. He glanced over Alex’s shoulder and then back at him. “On the house?”

Alex exhaled heavily and nodded.

---

It’s a bit cruel of him, he knows. But honestly, Maria should know better. If her touch only leaves a mark sometimes, and is only showing up just now after them having known each other for years and been dating for months, then there’s probably some other explanation for it. Everybody knows that the touch of your soulmate leaves a colored mark on your skin. Everybody knows that this happens at the first touch and every touch thereafter.

Everybody knows.

So it’s not Alex’s fault that Maria thinks she’s Michael’s soulmate. Even if he does purposefully leaves marks on Michael’s skin in the exact places he sees her touch him.

In his very terrible defense, he only does it when he’s drunk and pissed off. When he’s in his right mind he knows better.

---

Maria grabbed Michael’s face with both hands and gave him a quick kiss before she disappeared into the back to deal with a problem and left Michael and Alex sitting next to each other in a secluded booth, Liz, Kyle, and Max having already disappeared to get another round of drinks.

Alex was drunk but not drunk enough to fuck with Michael’s marks but Michael turned to him with a heavy amount of suspicion and Alex abruptly changed his mind. “What would you do if I kissed you right now?” He asked first. Touching Michael’s arms or brushing against his hand is one thing, grabbing his face and kissing him is something very different.

“Alex,” Michael replied, a warning in his voice. But he didn’t say no and he didn’t move away. In fact, he leaned closer towards Alex.

Alex ignored the movement and asked again, “what would you do?”

“You’re an asshole,” Michael said but he reached for Alex’s collar and pulled him closer so Alex didn’t take it to heart. He waited for Michael to lean in first before putting his hands right where he’d seen Maria’s and kissed him. It wasn’t a long kiss but neither was it too brief.

The sound of Liz’s voice and three sets of footsteps had Alex pulled back. In an instant, they put enough space between them to fit three people and somehow look convincingly nonchalant when the Liz, Max, and Kyle appeared with drinks in hand. Michael stood up to let them into the booth and they quickly dispersed the drinks. Alex took his with a nod of thanks to Kyle and watched as the color blossomed on Michael’s face. It wasn’t immediate. First, there was a splotch of green on his cheek from where Alex’s palm had held it. From there, it darkened and changed to blue closer to his lips. A few moments later, a purple mark appeared on his opposite cheek, turning pink as the fingers appeared stretching towards his hair.

“Nice one, Mikey,” Liz laughed. She reached out and traced over the edges of the mark as it filled in into a definite hand print, her finger not quite touching his skin. Kyle looked at the marks then over at Alex, his eyes lowering to Alex’s hands with a raised eyebrow. Alex turned them over to lay flat against the table, palms down, without even looking at them.

“Wow,” Maria marveled as she slid into the booth next to Michael. “It’s beautiful.”

Two things happened at once, then. First, Alex realized Maria was going to put her hand over the mark and be forced to acknowledge that the mark did not match her hands at all. And second, Michael’s eyes snapped to Alex’s face and stared at his lips for a heartbeat before meeting Alex’s eyes and pointedly licking his lips.

“I’m heading out,” Alex didn’t stay to mumble any pleasantries. He slid his hands off the table and shoved them in his pockets as he stood up and fled. Liz called after him but he ignored her.

His only hesitation came when he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror over the bar and saw that his lips were turning gold. Cursing softly but earnestly he ducked his head and slipped out the door.

“Alex!” Kyle’s shout was loud in dead stillness of the night. Alex froze but didn’t turn around. He listened Kyle’s steps behind him until the man came around to face him. “I want to ask if you just found out but I’m pretty sure that’d be the most latent case of soulmates ever recorded.” Alex didn’t say anything. “Why is with Maria?”

“Ask him.”

“Alex,” Kyle chided softly. “Why are you doing this?”

Alex shrugged. “Usually I’m drunk and drunk me thinks it’s hilarious.” Kyle frowned, his disappointment clear on his face. “Look, it’s not a guarantee or anything. You know that. It’s more of a guideline.”

“Yeah,” Kyle agreed. “But most people who ignore that guideline don’t usually go around leaving marks on the other person for fun to screw with their girlfriend.” Alex looked away. “Alex...” he sighed. “I can’t take you seriously right now. Your lips are glowing.”

Alex glanced at a nearby car and rolled his eyes. His reflection was muddled but his lips stood out like a beacon. “Good night, Kyle.”

---

Alex should have expected it, really. Turnabout’s fair play and all that. But then, Michael could have stayed. He could have been there when Alex was done singing and he could have let Alex kiss him instead. But instead he left. He walked out and Alex kissed Forrest and that should have been the end of it.

Except if Alex was an asshole, so was Michael.

Forrest had gotten up to use the restroom and not even ten seconds later, Michael had taken his seat. “What would you do if I kissed you right now?”

“Guerin,” Alex warned. But he didn’t say no.

Michael took it as the invitation Alex had let it be and kissed him. It was hardly a kiss, the whisper of Michael’s lips on his there and then gone before Alex could savor it. In its wake, Michael got up and disappeared into the shadowy corners of the bar. Alex thought about getting up and going to find him but Forrest sat back down and he couldn’t.

“Hey,” Forrest whispered. His finger traced the back of Alex’s hand. Alex looked down to see a mark blooming on the skin. “Am I your soulmate?” He asked softly. His eyes flickered over to Alex’s other hand, the smile on his face widening when he spotted another mark. Slowly, his eyes lifted to Alex’s face and his eyes crinkled as he beamed. “I am.” He lifted a finger and traced over Alex’s lips. “Wow.”

Alex legitimately did not know what to say, his mind stuck on the fact that Michael had known that Forrest touched his hands and made sure to leave a mark there. He thought back to when he’d finished his song and tried to figure out where Michael had been hiding when he kissed Forrest.

Forrest kissed him, short and hard. He was smiling too widely for it to be any good. “I’m your soulmate!” He laughed and Alex forced a smile in return.

“Did you leave a mark on me?” He twisted his hands to see if he had any marks, his movements stilling when he realized his hands and fingers were bare. He let out a soft, “oh.”

“Forrest,” Alex started.

“It’s okay,” Forrest shook his head. He took Alex’s hands in his own. “I’m your soulmate.” He was still smiling as he leaned in to kiss Alex again.

Alex’s soft ‘fuck’ went unheard between them.

---

Alex had a new kind of sympathy for what he’d put Michael through with Maria. It was very uncomfortable dating someone who thought they were your soulmate when you knew different. Alex had no idea how to even approach the idea of correcting Forrest and Michael wasn’t helping. After three weeks, he was fairly certain Michael might be stalking them. Almost every time Alex and Forrest were together, Michael would show up and orchestrate some scenario that allowed him to leave the precise kind of mark on Alex to perpetuate the lie.

Twice, they had drinks at the Pony with Kyle and Alex was subjected to the worst judgey looks he’d ever been on the receiving of. Kyle never said a word but his disapproval was palpable.

“I’ll get us another round,” Forrest offered one night. He was up and halfway to the bar before anyone could object.

“Alex-” Kyle started. He cut himself off abruptly when Michael slid into Forrest’s seat. Alex didn’t react. Michael had been eyeing them for the last hour, waiting for his opportunity and he didn’t waste it. He slid a hand up and around Alex’s neck and into his hair. Forrest had been playing with it earlier when Kyle got the last round but his touch hadn’t done anything for Alex. Not like now when Michael’s touch sent shivers down his spine and he arched his neck into it. “Really?” Kyle asked.

Alex and Michael ignored him.

Michael had about one minute to replace all of Forrest’s touches with his own and he didn’t waste any time, his fingers trailing everywhere Forrest had even grazed Alex’s skin earlier. His accuracy was uncanny, on par with Alex’s own when he’d kept a careful eye on Michael and Maria in the weeks previous. When he was finished, Michael got up and left without a word and Alex’s skin tingled, aching for more of his touch.

“Alex.”

Forrest sat back down and handed Kyle his beer. “What did I miss?” His only response was an eye roll from Kyle.

---

Alex made it another week before he cracked. He and Forrest hadn’t slept together even though they both wanted to and he was running out of reasons for why they shouldn’t. The honest answer was that he wouldn’t be able to explain why his skin was bare of any marks afterwards. The really honest answer was that he wanted Michael more than he could ever want Forrest.

Neither of those reasons were something Alex wanted to admit to the man.

So he showed him.

In the end it came down to an innocent touch. Michael walked up to them on the street and stopped Alex to tell him something and when they parted, Alex held out his hand for Michael to shake. Michael stared at it then over at where Forrest stood next to Alex, then to Alex. He raised an eyebrow and Alex held out his hand a little bit further. Michael shrugged and shook it.

Alex held on for a moment, letting the touch linger, before pulling away.

“See you around,” Forrest told Michael. He took a step forward to continue on their way but froze when Alex turned his hand over, his palm facing up. Michael mirrored his position and the three of them watched as color bloomed on their hands. “...what?”

---

“We’re assholes,” Alex grumbled. Michael hummed in agreement.

After the handshake earlier, Alex had let Forrest yell at him right there on the sidewalk but made his exit before that anger turned to anything else. He’d gone home and was utterly unsurprised to find Michael already in his driveway. They hadn’t spoken as Alex let them into the house, hadn’t said a word as Michael raided his fridge for beer and handed one to Alex, hadn’t made a peep as they drank one and then two and then three beers each on Alex’s couch.

“It’s why we’re good together,” Michael finally said. Alex scoffed softly. Those weren’t words either of them had ever used to describe their relationship. Michael tilted his head and looked up at Alex. “Alex?”

“Yeah Michael?”

“Can I come home now?”

Alex froze. “What?”

“Your song...” was all Michael offered.

“Are you sure?” Alex asked. Michael nodded. “I need you to be absolutely certain.”

Michael sat up and faced him. “I’m positive. I miss you, Alex. All the time, even when you’re right next to me. It’s not enough. Every time I see my mark on you, it’s like a tease of what it could be but right now it’s not enough.” Michael took Alex’s hands in his. “I want to come home. I want to come home to you.”

Alex surged forward and kissed him. The movement knocked Michael off balance and they tumbled off the couch to the floor but they didn’t let that stop them.

(In the morning, every inch of their skin was covered. Kyle stopped by with lunch and promptly declared them both eyesores.)

#malex fic #rnm #my fic #anti maria deluca #anti miluca #anti forrest long #anti forlex #just to cover the bases #happy birthday babe!

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drunklander · 4 years

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Drunj!Der Yells About Outlander

Thoughts on Ep. 508

I mean, shame on me for allowing myself to get my hopes up that the show might have turned a corner last week. I should know better by now.

At least Young Ian’s back. And Marsali had a nice moment. And that’s about all I have to say about this episode that’s positive. I swear to fuck, this show hates Claire as much as the author of the books does. Where the fuck is the lead protagonist, show? Can she come back? Can she get a story line of her own that’s more than just a random scene every few episodes, please? And can Bree please be given something to fucking do that doesn’t involve Roger, Jemmy or rape? Does Fergus still even live on the Ridge?

But yeah, I guess let’s just all watch the episode twice so our dumb lady!brains can understand that Matt’s stupid silent movie gimmick was actually ~ArT~ and not, you know, a stupidly bad creative choice. Seriously, fuck that guy.

I can’t tell you how much idgaf about watching Roger teach. Also, Bree’s like his students’ age since she was in college too. So really all this bit is doing is to make me skeeved out about their age difference.

“Can you tell me why anyone would go to the trouble of burying one?” he said, condescendingly, like the doucherocket he is. Do not disrespect Young Ian like that, asshat.

“People live and die by their words.” *gestures to the beautiful shitposts on this hellsite* sure jan dot gif.

I already want to fastforward.

Would 100% rather sit through a lecture on suspension bridges than watch silent movies, tbh.

Hate the title card. Hate this whole gimmick.

Hate.

HAAAAATE.

Roger got hanged. Roger was dumb, Buck was an abusive and toxic fuckwad. But still, Roger got hanged and this is how we find out he’s alive and how he was saved?

It should be this big emotional moment. It should make me feel a thing in spite of myself. But nope! Gotta do this fucking silent movie thing. Which is hilariously terrible. And I laughed at it the whole time. In a mean and judgey fashion. What a craptastic creative choice. Whoever’s idea that was is a fucking idiot. *stares at a certain pompous af showrunner*

Ok but for real though, does LJG just like live in North Carolina now? Why is he always around, besides, you know, so we don’t forget he’s a character who exists.

For real though, he lives in Virginia and gets more screen time than fucking Fergus and Marsali who live fucking next door.

At least writing this recap is gonnna be quick and easy since they waste so much time re-showing the stupid silent movie footage.

Yes, I know, they’re trying to show Roger’s PTSD. Which involves flashbacks. And gradually turn it to color once he’s like come to terms with what happened and starts to move forward. But the execution is so bad that the whole arc is wasted because it’s just so poorly done.

Oh hey! A Claire and Bree scene! I love those. Except oh wait, it aggressively fails the Bechdel Test.

I JUST WANT THE FUCKING WOMEN ON THIS SHOW TO HAVE SOMETHING TO DO THAT’S COMPLETELY FUCKING SEPARATE FROM THE MEN. ARGH.

Jocasta singing at Murtz’s cairn is a reminder that everyone should check out MDK’s music.

And her wearing the necklace Murtz gave her makes the existence of show!Duncan even dumber. Like oh hey, new husband, don’t mind me, just mourning my dead boyfriend and wearing his jewelry. But it’s totally normal since my niece-in-law still wears her abusive ex-husband’s ring.

Sorry, show!Duncan, but a more pointless character was never included. Show!Duncan wins the prize for most BeCaUsE tHe BoOk dumbassery.

Repeatedly showing what’s basically a snuff film is...a choice.

LJG has no sense of personal space when it comes to the Frasers. And it’s fucking creepy.

Oh look, another scene where all Claire gets to do is comfort someone about a man.

*BANGS FIST ON TABLE* GIVE CLAIRE BEAUCHAMP THE STORY LINES SHE DESERVES.

Jemmy aged like 3 years in the 3 month time jump.

Ok, I totally get why Roger hadn’t spoken yet. But once he did, the seal was broken. Not talking after he yelled to stop Jemmy, even a little bit, is just a dick move. Not that he’d be magically better. But he like refuses to even take baby steps.

CAN WE PLEASE GET THROUGH AN EPISODE WITHOUT A MUSICAL INTERLUDE. I FUCKING HATE THE CLEMENTINE SONG.

GRANNIE CLAIRE AND GRANDA JAMIE ARE MY FAVE.

OMFG AN ARROW. THAT CLEARLY MEANS...YOUNG IANNNNN!!!!!

So glad he’s back. So fucking glad. Yes, it means one more character to dilute how much time we can spend with any given person, but it’s a character that I like so hopefully he takes away from some of the time given to ones I don’t like?

Aaand Roger can’t even bring himself to try to talk to the guy who gave himself up in his place. Fuck Roger.

Claire does a better job at first than Jamie at picking up the vibes Young Ian is putting off, but like, for two people who are supposed to be emotionally intelligence, neither of them do a good job at first of really *seeing* Ian.

John Bell is really good in this episode.

Omfg Marsali has tarot cards. She’s like leaning full on into being the white witch’s apprentice and I fucking love her so much.

Also, the Hanged Man card is representative of self-sacrifice and martyrdom rather than like being actually hanged as a punishment. But whatevs.

Ok I think the reason Jenny yelling at Jamie to snap out of it in S3 bugged me where this scene with Bree yelling at Roger doesn’t is because sibling dynamic is completely different than spouses where both of them have gone through something unimaginable.

That he can’t even say anything here. Or give her any kind of sign that he’s still in there is a dick move. He *can* speak. He knows that now. So does everyone else. He’s actively choosing not to. Even to say that he just needs more time to work through his shit. No one’s asking him to be a chatterbox and totally back to normal.

Young Ian just sitting there while everyone else does grace is literally me at every family holiday.

Oh look, a wild Fergus appeared!

Ok, I never got the surveying thing. Wouldn’t the land already be registered? Since they were given the paperwork and shit for it from the governor? I know there was some bit about it in the book about keeping it after the Revolution but like, who the fuck else are they registering it with that would make a difference? The gov’t is still the English gov’t?

“But there are things you keep hidden from others. You and Claire both.” Ok, can he please be talking about time travel? I mean, I know he’s talking about his wife and their miscarriages, but I just want someone else to know about time travel already please and thank you.

HOW THE FUCK IS MARSALI STILL PREGNANT?! SHE’S BEEN PREGNANT FOR LIKE A FUCKTON OF TIME.

Fuck yeah not-Catholic-anymore-Ian. No grace, talking about the creator in a way that isn’t explicitly the christian god. Good job, kid.

My parents called me to say happy easter and I had to be like, uh, you remember that I don’t celebrate that, right?

Happy Zombie!Jeebus Appreciation Day to all the still christian people. And happy chance to have fun with burner zoom accounts named Elijiah to the jewish folks.

Jokes aside, the scene with Young Ian and Marsali was really nice and Marsali remains a fucking saint. It’s nice that Young Ian has someone who like actually gets what it’s like to find a home in a group of strangers.

Oh Claire, think more highly of your assistant. Also, what a clunky fucking way to be like oh hey, one of the emo!bros is gonna try to off themselves.

Ok but with the paper airplane now too, can we please show Young Ian finding out about time travel? Please?

Ok, but Claire automatically jumping to Roger wanting to off himself with her herbs... It’s making me judge both of them a little that neither picked up on just how clearly Young Ian was suffering. Like come the fuck on, y’all. It wasn’t subtle.

Also, can we please have more Adso?

SOMEONE GIVE YOUNG IAN A HUG! NO, NOT YOU, ROGER! SOMEONE GOOD!

Yada yada yes they both have been through something shitty and call me a biased asshole, but I can’t bring myself to feel anything about Roger and I feel all the things about Young Ian.

So Roger won’t talk when his wife begs, but he’ll talk when someone calls him on his bullshit. Cool. Cool cool cool. Nice dude.

NO ONE WAS ASKING FOR THE OLD ROGER, YOU TWATWAFFLE. THEY WERE ASKING FOR *A* ROGER. INSTEAD OF A ZOMBIE.

Again, there’s more to that tarot card than a literal hanged man, but whatever, show.

Oh thank fuck the episode is finally over. Expectations are back down in the gutter for the rest of the season. Please pleasantly surprise me, show, but I will not make the mistake again of thinking you’re actually gonna be consistently good again.

#*#outlander starz #outlander 5x08 #drunj!der yells about outlander

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faerune · 3 years

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4, 6, 16, 22, 23, 28, 29, 36, 43, 47 for the love of my life lady cassie

What were they like at school? Did they enjoy it? Did they finish? What level of higher education did they reach? What subjects did they enjoy? Which did they hate? Cassie was the Gifted kid in the class and was just a little know-it-all. She didn’t really start causing trouble until middle school where she started getting super worldly and smart by reading so much. Then she started questioning teachers lmao. She did enjoy school a lot and she went on to get her Masters in Investigative Journalism! She hated anything science related but of course loved history and language arts.

Do they collect anything? What do they do with it? Where do they keep it? Cassie collects records! Obviously, she plays them quite frequently and isn’t fussed about like never playing them to keep them in good condition. She’s got milk crates full of them that follow her wherever she moves but I can see Leon getting her a nice display for them one year for her birthday or smth.

What are their favourite insults to use? What do they insult people for? Or do they prefer to bitch behind someone’s back? Bitch, asshole and douche are some of the most common ones she uses. She also loves to call it like she sees it and slings f*scist around when dealing with dickhead government entities. She’ll tell you to your face if she doesn’t like you, Cassie isn’t the gossiping behind your back kind which I guess is...better? She tends to not like people getting in her way of what she wants or people who are flippant about the needs of others. Those are the ones who usually get her wrath.

Do they have a good memory? Short term or long term? Are they good with names? Or faces? Yes! Cassie has a very good memory both long and short term. She’s one of the few people gifted with a good name + face recognition. Definitely helps a lot with her job and having people like + trust her.

What are they good at? What hobbies do they like? Can they sing? Talking to people, analyzing things, writing! Cassie has this very unique ability of making people feel comfortable with her which makes her amazing at interviewing people. She’s really into film and photography on top of her writing as well as her love of music. I wouldn’t say Cassie is a bad singer, she at least can stay on tune and get sort of close to the actual song but she’s definitely not good enough to put real effort and stock into it as a hobby.

Are they religious? What do they think of religion? What do they think of religious people? What do they think of non religious people? She was raised Christian but doesn’t practice anymore. Cassie is...kind of a dick about religion in general. She won’t be rude and say it to someone’s face but she’ll complain privately with her friends about how dumb she thinks it is that people put so much weight in it. She kinda just thinks it’s another kind of thing people to do cope with the world. Cass gets a bit less judgey as she grows older (I promise).

How do they act in a formal occasion? What do they think of black tie wear? Do they enjoy fancy parties and love to chit chat or loathe the whole event? sgkdgkj she hates formal occasions. Does NOT want to be there. Cassie will admit she likes to slip into a nice black dress once in awhile but she usually spends her time (if she isn’t working and actually does have to talk to people) by the bar or at the buffet eating shrimp and getting drunk. The only thing that really makes it worthwhile is seeing Leon in a nice suit and teasing him enough so that he finally agrees to leave and go home lmao

#mollie thank you MWAH ily #oc: cassie #solasan

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keldae · 4 years

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Writer’s Month 2020: Day 15

When the housemates were just too damned loud, and the library was too full of high school students, and the coffee at home was the cheap swill that nobody sane would touch with a ten-foot-pole, the cafe a couple of blocks away was a perfect haunt on a chilly November day. Stamping her feet to clear the worst of the snow off her boots, Xaja took a cursory look around the coffee shop. It looked a little busy today, but seemed to be mostly occupied with a group of senior citizens chatting it up, and one or two individual people with laptops or books. Much more calm and peaceful than the library, ironically enough.

Stopping by the counter to pick up her usual (large almond milk mocha, extra espresso shot, and a muffin), Xaja looked around for an empty spot. There was one of the nice cushioned armchairs near the fireplace that was miraculously empty; she hurried over before it could be claimed, then paused as she looked at the occupant of the other chair in front of the fireplace. "Anyone in this spot?"

The stranger, a dark-haired guy with striking amber eyes, looked up from his computer and shrugged toward the chair. "Nah. It's all yours."

"Thanks." Giving the guy a small smile, Xaja settled into the chair, situated her coffee and muffin on the table between them, and pulled her laptop out of her bag. The latest chapter she was stuck on wasn't going to write itself, after all.

For a long while, peaceful near-silence fell over the coffee shop, broken by the sounds of the baristas making drinks, and the occasional laugh from the seniors. Xaja found it easy to lose herself in her writing, and was starting to make good headway on the scene she'd been fighting with before the atmosphere was disturbed.

"No, I said a large, sugar free, soy milk cappuccino at precisely sixty-five and a half degrees!" The infuriated squawk jolted Xaja out of her scene; she sighed in annoyance as she looked up at the offending voice's owner. It was a scrawny-looking middle-aged asshole in a suit, berating an unamused barista. "And it's Mister Lorman! Not Lowen, not Lowman, not Lureman -- Mister Lorman! Do you know who I am?!"

"I think everyone in earshot knows that now," the guy beside Xaja muttered under his breath, without looking up from his laptop. She smirked in agreement and tried to go back to her writing.

"This is why you're just a barista! You can't even make a drink right!" Mister Lorman's voice was increasing in volume with every word. "I make more money in a week than you'll ever see in your miserable life! Now make my drink correctly, and you'd better comp it!"

The guy looked up at that with a raised eyebrow. "Makes that much money and he's mad over a five dollar drink?" he asked in an undertone, probably to himself.

"Course he is," Xaja muttered. "He clearly spends it all on Viagra to compensate for some personal… shortcomings."

That made the guy snort a laugh. He shot Xaja a quick grin and a wink that made her heart skip a beat, then looked back to the drama brewing at the counter.

"Yes you will comp my drink! I pay your salary! I can own this entire dump of a cafe!" Xaja was honestly surprised that the douchebag hadn't literally stamped his foot yet. "Get me your manager! I demand to speak with whoever runs this stupid shop!"

"Okay, 'Karen'," Xaja muttered at the same time as the guy beside her. Surprised, they looked at each other, then exchanged a smirk and looked back at the counter, now unified in their camaraderie of muttered commentary over the single worst customer Xaja had ever seen in this coffee shop. When she looked around, she could see the other patrons of the cafe also watching the drama, with expressions ranging from amused to judgmental. Even the old-timers had paused their chit-chat over coffee to eye the commotion, giving some serious judgey eyes over the rims of their paper cups.

“What do you mean, you’re the manager?” Seemingly having an aneurysm over the barista being unfazed by the tantrum she was being subjected to, Lorman sputtered in rage for a good twelve seconds or so. “... Listen, you -- the customer is always right! Always! Especially when the employee is some stupid high school dropout who can’t even make a cup of coffee right! Now make me my drink properly or I’ll have this place shut down! I’ll have your jobs!”

“Ooooh,” the guy sarcastically said, just loud enough to possibly be overheard at the counter. “So brave to be threatening underpaid baristas.”

“Especially since he probably doesn’t have enough brain cells to work a Keurig,” Xaja agreed, and snickered when the asshole turned to grace them both with a murderous glare. She could just hear a few muffled snorts of laughter and see a few agreeing smirks from other customers.

“You, you’re not a part of this,” Lorman snarled at Xaja and her new friend. “Shut up.”

“Or what?” the guy challenged. “Those baristas are being paid -- not nearly enough, by the way -- to be polite to you. Neither of us,” he gestured to himself and Xaja, “are.”

“Shut up!” Lorman repeated, taking a furious step toward the pair and leaving the poor barista alone for the moment. “I’ll-- I’ll have both of your jobs!”

“You make that threat with everyone who pisses you off?” Xaja dryly asked. “I’ve been hearing better threats since junior high. At least try to be a little bit creative, willya?”

“Also,” added the guy, “that’s really cute, considering you clearly have no idea who either of us is.”

“Careful,” Xaja teasingly cautioned her new friend as Lorman sputtered. “I don’t think those two brain cells of his can handle logic at all.”

“Meh.” The guy shrugged and grinned. “Those brain cells clearly don’t get enough use on the best of days. I’m just being helpful in making him use his mind a little bit.”

“Think you might’ve over done it a bit. Look.” Xaja gestured in Lorman’s direction as his face quite literally turned an interesting shade of red. “There’s steam coming out of his ears.”

“So there is,” agreed the guy, his smirk broadening. “What were you saying earlier about him having shares in Viagra to make up for those personal shortcomings? Pretty sure we’re seeing one of the side effects of taking it too often.”

“Can you blame the guy, though? That has to be the only way he gets any sort of attention.” Xaja grinned. “I mean, besides throwing tantrums that would make my two-year-old nephew embarrassed to witness.”

“Just… you two… shut up!” Lorman seemed at a complete loss for words. “This isn’t-- you--!”

“Uh-oh,” the guy commented. “I think he ran out of words. Your two-year-old nephew probably has a broader vocabulary.”

“To be honest, I’m surprised that tiny little brain of his could learn human speech at all.” Xaja contemplatively tilted her head. “I’m just so curious as to the how.”

“Just… you…” Lorman finally snarled something unintelligible, shot both Xaja and her friend a murderous glare, and stormed out of the coffee shop to applause from the other patrons. Applause turned into gales of laughter a minute later when he skulked back in, snatched his forgotten wallet from the counter, and slunk back out with his metaphorical tail between his legs. With him finally gone, the tension in the shop eased, and normal chatter picked back up throughout the rest of the building.

“Well, that was therapeutic,” the guy brightly commented as he settled back into his chair and gave Xaja a grin. “Pleasure working with you.”

“The pleasure was mine,” Xaja laughed as she relaxed into her seat and picked up her now-lukewarm mocha. She glanced at the counter and mouthed “Okay?” at the barista, and got a relieved smile and a nod in response before she looked back to the guy. “Good to meet a kindred spirit with the same enjoyment in taking assholes down a few pegs.”

The guy grinned and offered his hand across the side table to shake. “I’m Theron, by the way.”

“I’m Xaja.” And I really hope you’re single, she silently added as she shook his hand, trying to not get pulled in by his warm amber eyes and the smile he gave her, and failing miserably at that.

#writersmonth2020 #coffee shop AU #Theron/Xaja #SWTOR-ish #with a cameo from MINISTER Lorman #or MISTER Lorman #these two snarkmasters #Lorman's just too easy of a target for them to play with #because mockery is totally a bonding experience #with a sneaky Firefly reference!#asshole customers #you all know the type

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cometcrystal · 4 years

Text

okay so i finished daybreak! heres my thots (spoilers)

under a cut because idk how to shut up

the bad (rep stuff first, story stuff second since those are two diff kinds of bad)

the black girl is aggressive and violent

the latina woman turns into a “crazy” gross witch after the apocalypse

anti-asian racism in a line or two

every line is eli’s dialogue is just aave but he’s not even black

the high schoolers have a weird amount of sex (it’s not shown on-screen aside from a couple shots of them making out, but yeah)

the r slur is used in one scene

one nameless bg character is said to identify their gender as a seahorse, which just sounds like annoying attack helicopter jokes

now for the story stuff. josh is a huge fucking dick. i don’t know why he’s the protagonist. the only aspect of his character i liked was his backstory with his father, but everything else was just him being a judgey hypocrite asshole

also, eli SUCKS. i took a quick look in the tag for this show, and he seems to be the fan favorite, and i have NO idea why because every word out of his mouth made me wanna strangle him. and then in the episode where he died, it started playing clips of him with sad piano music, as if every single clip they used wasn’t just him being insufferable. it made his death hilarious instead of tragic bc its like. wow they really expected me to care about this guy huh? when all he’s done is make lowkey bigoted remarks and call stuff gucci?

episode 8 sucked so bad. there wasn’t any apocalypse at all, it was just a 45 minute movie about josh treating sam like his manic pixie dream girl and her having sex with him anyway and then he calls her a slut

the grossout humor didn’t get to me too bad, even tho i usually hate grossout humor. but the uncensored shot of the mutant pug shitting in the first episode was way too much like come the fuck on

the good

most of the characters are really likable and well-written!! i loved almost all of the main ensemble, and the supporting characters were really great too. and the villain was fucking great, it was nice to just see a plain old cartoon villain, and a found family of kiddos + their weird aunt rising up to defeat him

actual gay couple! no gaybaiting here, for real this time! and it’s interracial too which is awesome. AND IT’S WELL-WRITTEN AND REALISTIC.

the concept/setting is GREAT. an apocalypse where only people under 18 survived, and the teens have all split off into tribes based on their cliques in high school?? that’s really cool and funny. i might read the graphic novel after this to see more of it bc i love an apocalypse and i love a high school movie and this is both of those

josh is the protagonist, but it doesn’t put all the focus on him: it gives the backstories of the other main charas and some of the ensemble, too, and shows what everyone was doing in the couple days that lead up to the apocalypse. it makes for some awesome character-building, and you feel like you know these characters very well in the span of only 10 episodes

a LOT of this show’s humor is built on jokes that are like “millennials are woke now”. ex. instead of homecoming king or queen, they have gender-neutral homecoming royalty. this is in the “good” folder because, instead of boomer political comics, these kinds of jokes in this show, most of the time (not every single time, but most of the time), don’t feel mean-spirited. like i said before, it feels like a young person doing a parody of those jokes made by boomers, and it’s mostly done with love for millennials/gen Z. it feels more like an inside joke than mocking.

speaking of the humor, when the jokes hit, they HIT

the sets were fucking amazing. it really did feel like post-apocalyptic california

none of the cliques/groups are demonized in the end? the jocks are the “villain” group for a bit, but in the end, they’re on good terms with the heroes.

going off the last point, the cheermazons don’t allow boys into their group, and they have a distaste for men, but there’s not that EXTREME unrealistic man-hate that makes them come across as a negative stereotype of feminists. and they help the heroes, too. i hate men, don’t get me wrong, but i roll my eyes when i see a group like the amazons from percy jackson that like have men as their slaves and shit like that. like sorry you hate feminism so much. anyway the only complaint i have is that, afaik, there aren’t any trans women in the cheermazons, and they should have shown some so that radfems dont get any fuckin ideas identifying w them. there aren’t any trans characters at all, besides the seahorse person mentioned earlier, so that’s a problem that needs fixed in general, but esp. in the cheermazons where there’s potential for a radfem to see them and be like :)

there was a deaf side character that used asl! there were also girls seen with hijabs, one of whom is a leader of the cheermazons along with the deaf girl

angelica is great i love this lil bitch. making weed slime.

mrs crumble has a lot of depth and i love her

im tired of typing now. all in all i give it maybe a 7.5/10. it’s a lot of fun but it does have its problems. give it a shot if you like apocalypse stories or found family, and you can stomach a few cringe-ass insensitive things in what claims to be a woke show

#daybreak #netflix daybreak #daybreak netflix

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patricianandclerk · 5 years

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Re: Aziraphale's fraught relationship w/ Heaven and the queer narrative, like... I can see where the other person is coming from, but if Aziraphale just said 'hey, I'm gay', they wouldn't be turning on him (though they might be concerned that this label is a sign that he sees himself as too human, that he can be attracted to what he's attracted to but does he have to make it sound human?)-- their issue is for lack of better word political, not personal. (1/2)

(2/2) But for Aziraphale, there's no difference, not in a 'my existence is political bc I'm queer' way, but because even though he IDs as gay separately from Crowley (his club etc), by this point every part of his life is tangled up in his feelings for Crowley. He's in the process of adopting new politics bc he loves Crowley, he loves the earth bc it's his-and-Crowley's, and he is, internally, a mess who is constantly reminded of Crowley. Their issue isn't his sexuality, but this one romance.

I’m going to say something, and for some people who specifically ID with Aziraphale’s dynamic with Heaven because of their own queer experience, I feel like it might be uncomfortable, but like...

The thing is, Aziraphale is never told by Heaven it wouldn’t be okay for him to be gay. He’s never told that he shouldn’t have human experiences.If Aziraphale walked into Heaven one day, and said, “You know what? I really identify with gay humans, and I like to eat because I enjoy the pleasure and the taste and the textures and the way it fits in with human cultures, and I like old books because I love their smells and how many stories and ideas they fit in with them, and I even like regency snuff boxes, because I think it’s beautiful that something so small and so delicate might have been crafted for such a thing.”

Now, I think everyone is assuming, especially based off of their own experiences with their families re: being queer, that Heaven would immediately go absolutely off the rails and freak out about it, kick Aziraphale out, shout at him, or keep him captive.

You know what my experience with my family was?

I was terrified to come out as trans, because I thought my family would be super weird about it, I thought they’d be nasty, I thought it’d just be really grim. No. They listened when I explained it. They asked a lot of stupid questions, but they weren’t judgey about it. And for several years, because I was so nervous that they were going to reject me (re: my extended family), I kept being super cagey and defensive about everything, even though they’d only ever been accepting.

I was justified in feeling some fear, because it can be very risky to come out as trans to a family who isn’t supportive, but my family was openly supportive, and yet for years after, I treated them as if they weren’t, because I’d built up these expectations in my head that they wouldn’t be.

I was the asshole in that situation. My family did everything right: the only thing they did wrong was not being omniscient and not being able to read my mind.

And that’s what I see when I watch Aziraphale’s interactions with Heaven.

I see an angel who’s terrified to let anything slip in case it all goes wrong, to the extent that he’s actually pretty nasty to people who literally only ever praise his work and say how great it is, and who are so, so excited to get him come home that - knowing how much he cares about his work on Earth, because they think he’s such a hardworker - they’re going to send a fucking archangel to do it in his place.

Gabriel never says it’s wrong to eat food. I didn’t take that from that interaction at all.

Gabriel: [hey, why do you eat that? to me, it looks gross] (which, by the way, is a perfectly common human reaction to sushi, let alone a fucking angel’s)

Aziraphale: it’s sushi. it’s nice. (no explanation. just a vague, it’s nice with a little bit of defensiveness.) you dip it in soy sauce. (gabriel has no idea what that means. the only soy sauce he knows is the soy sauce where his brains should be.)

Gabriel: [oh, sounds gross! as an angel, i find the whole concept of eating kinda squicky, but i’m going to couch it in religious language because we’re fucking angels and i have very few human experiences to talk from instead]

Gabriel meant hey, I think that’s gross, but whatever, it’s your thing. Aziraphale heard, I think you’re gross, and I’ll hate you if you tell me you like humans.

Even with the fucking comment about Aziraphale losing weight... That’s not Gabriel trying to hurt Aziraphale. That’s Gabriel, a moron, repeating fatphobic stuff he doesn’t understand from a culture he doesn’t understand, trying to connect with Aziraphale who DOES understand like it. Gabriel isn’t trying to bully Aziraphale. He’s trying, desperately, as he has for the part six thousand years, to establish a rapport. To be playful. To assure Aziraphale he likes him and cares about his interests. Does he do it wrong? Yes! Is it hurtful? Of course!

But Gabriel doesn’t know that, and has no way of knowing.

Who’s gonna fucking tell him, Sandalphon? Sandalphon can’t tell the difference between Mrs Beeton’s Cookbook and hardcore pornography any better than Gabriel can!

Gabriel doesn’t hate humans. Sandalphon doesn’t hate humans. Gabriel and Sandalphon go play dressup on weekends, and Gabriel goes fucking jogging at the end of the world.

Gabriel says to Aziraphale, look, I know how much you care about Earth, so I’ll give you some time to go finish up before you come home. Why? Because he knows Aziraphale cares. What could he possibly have to finish up, when the Apocalypse is coming? Nothing. It’s not about Earth or the work. It’s about Aziraphale’s feelings.

And I don’t think Gabriel is completely removed from those, either - he’s fucking jogging in the park, and that isn’t for Aziraphale’s business. He’s probably getting one last jog in before the park goes up in smoke, because he enjoys it.

Yes, the angels smite humans. Yes, they got involved in Sodom and Gomorrah, Noah’s Ark, all the other great big murders committed by Heaven against groups of humans. But like... Aziraphale watched that stuff happen too. He never said anything about it, except to Crowley. It doesn’t make it excusable that the angels did all that shit, but the thing about ignorance is that you don’t magically become aware of things you are ignorant to. You have to learn and/or be taught. And the thing is? If you don’t have the tools to go look for yourself, or even realize you can or should go look for yourself, you don’t.

I don’t think, if Aziraphale told the angels he liked humans and that they were important to him, that they’d be angry. I think some of them would be concerned, because they think it’s dangerous for him - they’re worried about him Falling. I don’t think they’d necessarily be surprised. I do think they’d be embarrassing.

But like...

This idea that they’d freak out is something that Aziraphale has made up in his own mind.

They don’t freak out at the end of it all because Aziraphale likes the Earth. In fact, given what happens, I think they probably assume a lot of the Earth stuff was lies, and that he was pretending to care about humans and the Earth in his conversations to hide the fact that he was a spy for the other side.

Aziraphale betrays Heaven. And he...

Never explains why. He rehearses trying to explain, and then he doesn’t. He rambles a bit and then the angels are like, well, this is weird and we don’t get it, so... bye. Hope you’re okay.

Heaven see Aziraphale being a double agent, then find out he wasn’t being a double agent for Hell, he was just being a double agent with one specific demon who tempted Eve in the first place. What the fuck? That’s why they’re angry. That’s why they feel betrayed.

Because they spent six thousand years awkwardly talking to Aziraphale, knowing he liked human stuff and trying to get him to talk about it but not knowing how or why, and then it turns out, from their perspective, that it was never about humans at all. It was about Hell. It was about a demon. Not just a Fallen angel, but a soldier from the other side in the war that slaughtered a whole bunch of them.

And yet, the funniest thing?

The funniest thing of all?

Michael has backchannels in Hell. She knows demons. She seems to have a pretty positive working relationship with them. Gabriel and Beelzebub are very familiar with one another, and to be honest, they act like an old married couple with shared jokes and everything.

I don’t know how much they actually... would have freaked out about Crowley specifically.

Because at the end of it, we don’t know if it’s really about Crowley at all, or the betrayal at all, so much as the fact that Aziraphale and Crowley, for all both sides knew, had planned it for six thousand years. Crowley, with Aziraphale as the accessory who got hold of the murder weapon for him, melted a fucking demon into oblivion. Before he’d actually gotten to do anything, either - it wasn’t self-defense, it was pre-emptive, and he’d been planning it for years. And Aziraphale helped him do it.

I don’t know.

I agree with you, Anon, it definitely is political, but I think the question is like... How much Heaven is actually political over personal, too, because we see only bits and pieces of it.

I just simply don’t agree that it’s as cut-and-dry as “Aziraphale did a bad, now we’ll kill him” because it was about far, far more than that.

#good omens #aziraphale #crowley #gabriel #michael #uriel #sandalphon #Anomymous #as defined by dictionary #answered

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boogiewrites · 5 years

Text

A Girl Walks Into A Bar 5

Characters: Declan Harp x Bella Fiore (OFC)

Word Count: 5700+

Summary: Modern Declan harp AU. Bella and Declan share a little about themselves to each other to both of their surprise. They stay in contact and end up hanging out again.

Warnings/Tags: Language. Drinking. Flirting, but she’s gonna act like she’s not. Same for him.

Click on my screenname then go to Mobile Masterlist in my bio for my other works and chapters. (Had to do this since Tumblr killed links, sorry.)

You're currently feeling the cold wind against your fingers as you wiggle them out of the truck window as Declan drives you home. You aren't too deep in thought, mainly wondering if you'd bruise and have to explain yourself to your coworkers. Declan clears his throat and breaks the silence.

"So uh...do you hit guys like that often?" he asks with his usual naturally deep tone.

"Not anymore no." your answer with a deep and mildly amused tone.

"That hit made it seem like it wasn't the first time you'd done that."

"It was nowhere near the first." you let out a soft huff of air in amusement.

"You in a fight club or somethin'?" he glances your way, his face playful. "Well I guess you couldn't tell me even if you were could you?" he grins.

"No fight clubs, no." you shake your head.

"So do you do like, MMA or something?' he offers up for conversation.

Alright, Bella, you think, slowly blinking. He's trying to get to know you. Be nice. Being honest won't' be hard for you but being graceful about it might be. "I've taken plenty of self-defense courses but I've never trained to fight or anything." You pause for a moment, considering what to share with him. He'd told you a piece about his past, you suppose it's only fair to share something with him in return. "I hung around a rough crowd when I was younger. Lots of dudes and surging testosterone. The bad sort of metalheads you see in show parking lots that are fighting and crushing cans on their heads and screaming and acting like assholes." you shrug. "So... and I don't mean this in a self-absorbed sort of way, just in a self-aware one. I know what I look like, y'know? And...it used to not be as bad I guess, guys coming onto me and everything, but with the popularity of big asses in the past few years I mean...I've literally got a target on me." you make yourself chuckle. "So I fought a lot growing up, and now...I still have that fighting instinct when dudes touch me like that or won't take no for an answer I just fuckin' go for their throats. So to speak." you say with a weak gesturing of your hands.

"I don't blame you. I was more impressed than anything. You had some good form." he nods supportively and you're relieved. You were afraid he might be judgey about it, find it unladylike. Which was a phrase you hated because of the endless times you'd heard it. Especially from guys you thought were decent, but were just assholes in disguise.

"Thanks. I can kinda snap sometimes. I don't have the best temper." your voice dips lower and he hears the mild disappointment in it. "I can black out and go ham on someone if they push up on me. I mean, it's been years since that's happened but, I've also not put myself in situations where it could happen so...there's that." you say with a shrug as you look out the window. "I guess I just have no patience for men who can't listen anymore. If you touch women without consent and won't listen when they say no in this sort of society today, there's no excuse and I figure they deserve to get their asses kicked."

"And by a woman." he chuckles.

"Especially by a woman." his reaction makes you smile a little and you gaze out the window at the passing street lamps and strobing lights, the hiss from the wet road coming through the cracked window.

"I've been in my fair share of fights too." he says as he keeps his eyes on the road.

"You look like a guy who had been. No offense meant."

"None taken." he shakes his head and smiles. "Unfortunately it leads a lot of people to think I WANT to fight. And I don't. Just...when you try to protect people from bad people, there's gonna be violence to some degree."

"It's admirable of you. At least you're doing it for a cause. Unlike me, I just have a temper."

"Nah, you're doing it to teach people a lesson."

"Didn't take you for an enabler, Declan." you laugh.

"Well I've not seen a woman knock a man out like that in...maybe ever and I'd be lying if I said it wasn't a nice change of pace from the usual way those situations go down."

"If I keep up this reintroduced habit of going out you'll prob get to see it again." you smirk.

"Assuming I'm with you. If not, I'll happily take an after photo." he laughs.

But who would you be going out with if not him? Charlotte was really the only friend you had that you felt comfortable enough with and liked enough to do things with and she was incapacitated. The girls at work were nice, you liked them well enough but not in the way to go and do things with them outside of work. Plus you liked to keep work and personal separate, and all they ever wanted to do was try to pull information out of you about your private life and there wasn't anything to give. And even if there was you didn't want to share it. With your drive to your house coming to a close, you figure you're close enough to avoid painful embarrassment if he reacts poorly, but if tonight was any indication, you didn't think he would. You roll up the window, your fingers sufficiently numb.

"I can probably manage that. I'll pose like a hunter with a deer." you chuckle with a slight smile.

"If it weren't incriminating evidence that'd be good for Instagram." he laughs with you.

He's a nice person, Bella. Accept it, you tell yourself. Why was telling someone you had a good time and would like to hang out with them again so hard? You weren't even dating or anything in the traditional sense, there was no reason to be so hesitant. Your ineptitude at showing vulnerability in any form was bubbling up and really annoying you. Couldn't even openly tell someone you wanted to hang out, it was as if you were saying you needed them around, which you knew was an illogical jump but your brain made it all the same.

"If you were down with it, if I do end up going out to something like this again...would you wanna go with me?" You propose, turning your face towards him, your eyes a little larger than you'd like them to be.

He glances over and see's your eyes wandering and he wonders if the overly cool way you asked, the lack of inflection, was a way for you to cover up your uncertainty to his answer. He wonders if he'd been giving off a vibe that too nonchalant tonight in his attempt to not scare you off or seem too eager. He hadn't meant to, he had a really great time and hoped the guy hadn't ruined his chances of getting to do it with you again.

"Yeah," he says with a lowering of his brow in an obvious tone, answering quickly. "Yeah I'd like that." he nods, turning his eyes back to the road to turn onto your street.

"Good." you say with a smile he can catch for a moment as the street lamp by your house illuminates it as he pulls to the curb. "I had a good time tonight." you say and want to curse at yourself. How cliche and overdone was that saying?

"I was hoping that guy didn't ruin the whole evening for you." he says, turning slightly to face you, you rest your hand on the door handle.

"Oh, no. They win if you let them ruin your whole night." you look down and smile with a closed mouth. "Take a lot more than that make this night a total wash." you admit, your eyes uncertain but a friendly expression.

"You want me to walk you to the door?" he asks, pointing in the direction of it.

"No that's fine, I got it." you rush out, fingers gripping on the handle. "Thanks though," you say finally pushing it open. You stand with the door open but not all the way to not let all the heat out. You lean your head into the cabin of the truck. "I did have a good time tonight. Despite the guy..." you say with a huff of a laugh.

"I did too." he gives you a smile that's much more expressive. "We should do it again soon." he insists with a nod of his head.

"Yeah we should." you nod and finally give him a smile that shows teeth. "I'll text you this week sometime. We can....figure something out." you say with large, almost hopeful eyes.

"Sounds like a plan to me."

"I'll talk to you soon. Be careful." you say with a sheepish smile as you pull away from the truck.

"Only because you told me to." he grins, nodding a goodbye at you.

"Night Declan." you say, involuntarily tucking your hair behind your ear.

"Night, Bella." his deep voice hits you harder than you want it to.

You give him a nod and shut the door. He stays until you're inside the house, waving goodbye to him, like a gentleman. You watch him leave through the window in your living room, greeting Robbie's meowing face with a scratch to the chin.

"Yeah, I did have a good time bub," you say, looking back down once Declan's truck was out of sight. "Mama got to knock a guy out and hang out with a very nice man." you say with a smile that you didn't have to hide from anyone. It wasn't like Robbie would tell anyone. -------------- As you had before, you stare at the unsent texts you drafted up. But unlike last week you actually send them this time. You were relieved to find his way of talking through text wasn't annoying. No one letter or one-word answers where they weren't granted, no bombardment of lots of texts at once. He didn't demand any of your time and you picked up and dropped conversations easily throughout the week.

You spent some time on his Instagram, trying to figure this guy out. He seemed pretty straightforward and that seemed confusing in itself. You were so used to people pretending to be a better version of themselves on social media and he was just...Declan. You find the bar's page, which isn't super active and follow it too. You find pictures of Declan in his feed that span back years, lots of pictures with people in the woods, camping and bonfires, and keggers. It seemed he and Mike did go way back. Lots of half blurred photos of him smiling, clearly drunk. A particularly funny one with him holding Mike above his head and Mike's limbs a blur but you could see his mouth screaming. He didn't just take pictures with guys though, which was refreshing. He hugged girls just the same as he did the guys, pictures with kids with kool-aid mouths and big smiles peppered throughout.

His page is mostly him with other people, as opposed to yours which was mostly pictures like what was in your phones photos, Robbie, guitars, and a scattering of selfies. The last selfie you'd posted was months ago, up until the one you'd taken after you got home from the show. You'd shown your hand with your garnet ring on it, tagging the company you'd bought it from and bragging about how sturdy it was to stand up to an asshole's jaw after the phrase, "Got out of the house. Put on my acceptable female form for public consumption". It got some attention, which you didn't really care about it, you just thought it was clever, but you did notice that Declan liked it. And you did seem to care about that.

After you'd posted your selfie from that night, he'd posted one he'd taken while you were at the bar, it was him in the haze of lasers and dim lighting with you barely visible in the background, your back to the camera while you were getting drinks. "Big thanks to @hellsbells for actually getting me out of the bar for once." is the caption. You liked it. ------ You had plans on going by the bar and were even looking forward to it although the only person you'd admit that too was Robert, But your recording session ran long and you had to stay late. He seemed to take it well enough. By the way his face fell, Mike could tell from across the bar that he'd gotten bad news. But you couldn't see that. You told him you'd make it up to him. You got drunk at home alone that night, and to your surprise the next morning you'd ordered a handful of vintage records. Along with an automatic feeder for Robert, a pack of replica Pick of Destiny's and a Bobbie Brown biography. It was certainly not the worst drunk haul you'd ever purchased.

You'd slept in that next morning, waking up around noon and you didn't feel the least bit guilty about it. You're downing a Gatorade, eating dry toast and scowling in your oversized hoodie when your phone dings and you wince.

"Have a good night?" the message from Declan reads.

"I got home after 1 and drank Jameson on an empty stomach. I don't really know if the night was good or not." you send back.

"Ah. Well you seemed to have a good one based on your IG stories..."

"Oh God." you send before going to check.

"I'll wait lmao"

You find you talking over videos on your laptop of 80's hair metal bands. Cherry Pie, overrated but a classic. Van Halen vs. Van Hagar and singing, almost literally, the skills of Eddie Van Halen. "Well at least it's all on brand." you roll your eyes and rub your forehead, chuckling.

"That it is. I have never heard anyone with an opinion so passionate on Van Halen. lol"

"Well that's me in a nutshell. Full of useless passionate opinions. I was already aware I love VH when I'm drunk."

"It was impressive tbh. lol. And I won't hold it against you."

"I mean these explain the Bobbie Brown biography I bought."

"Oh no did you go drunk online shopping? lmao"

"I did. Which means I'm now the owner of a few new records. And a duplicate 1984. Guess I forgot I had an original print of that. Oh well."

"What was the damage?" he inquires.

"Overall not too bad. I got some original ACDC, Some live White Stripes, the Wombats, Rob AND White Zombie...we've had that discussion before lol, and Sam Cooke, aw, how sweet of me."

"Overall not a bad selection. No idea who tf the wombats are tho."

"They're on Spotify. idk if they're you're kinda thing, british indie pop rock. Speaking of, I bet my search history is going to be a mess. I've gone and fucked up my algorithm."

"Oh no how will you ever come back from that? lol"

"Shut up. lol I work hard on my algorithm. If you actually listened to music instead of wearing the shirts of bands you never listen to you'd have a heart and empathize."

"cry me a fuckin' river, Bells lmao."

You laugh out loud and a smile comes across your face for the first time that morning. "How about you come get schooled by me in person instead of in my IG stories? I have a lot of stuff to listen to coming in soon apparently." you see an opportunity and you take it. You didn't feel up to going out tonight, you already knew that. You'd be here recovering and picking up the house that you'd neglected the past week.

"Only if Robert will be there."

You laugh out loud again. "I see. Invite a man over and all he wants to see is my cat. .... Waitaminute...I thought you were a good guy and it was all a ruse wasn't it? what an ass. "

"they don't call me a pussy hound for nothin'. it's just not the translation people expect"

"i'll get you one of those keychains like in kill bill. also no one calls you that. Mike told me you hadn't been on a date in 100 years."

"well i think a century is a bit of an overstatement."

"by what 1 year? lol"

"ya got me."

"same. big mood. etc."

"So when am I coming over to be harassed further? lol"

"i'm off early Monday since I worked for over 12 hours yesterday, can you get away from the bar that evening? I can make dinner."

"As if I weren't sold already."

"Man's gotta eat. (Me. I'm that man.)"

"Can this lady eat too?"

"of course she can, does she like ragu? I've been wanting to make some pappardelle, what about that?"

"Are you making up words? bc I seriously can't tell. lol"

"It's Italian food you uncultured swine! lol meat and tomato sauce, homemade thick pasta noodles. If I'm not too lazy I'll make garlic bread."

"holy shit are you serious?"

"I don't joke about food Declan. especially not pasta."

"I might not leave if you make all that...but if you're willing to take your chances I am more than down to eat homemade italian food. i don't remember the last time I had homemade food."

"Then it's been too long. Come over at like...7 ish? I'll need time for the sauce to cook down."

"gotta put my phone in rice bc i've drooled all over it sorry."

"Text me later so I'll remember to do the dough. I need to get my ass off this couch and clean this house. I've been a neglectful house mother this week. too busy."

"you're MAKING the bread? fuck dude, I'll remind you every hour on the hour for that!"

"Please don't. lol" you laugh and sigh, putting the phone into your hoodie pocket and shaking your head. You let it rest on the back of a couch and are quickly overtaken by a big yawn.

Mike watches this interaction go down, Declan with his elbows on the bar, thumbs moving quickly and ignoring the work to be done to set up for the early crowd. He wipes down glasses then moves onto the tabletops and floors but keeps his eyes on his business partner. He hadn't seen Declan so enthralled in a conversation since he'd discussed the range opening with his cousin Sokannon. Mike recognizes the smile on Declan's face because it's the same one that came across his face whenever he'd think about Sokannon. Although not being together in any official capacity, a few flings and years of friendship together had led him to being smitten with her for some time now. And Mike knew Declan and he knew Declan didn't get giddy, didn't get attached or talk about girls in his downtime. He knew something was clearly starting between the two of you, and he hoped it was mutual because he'd hate to see Declan lose that low key glow he'd had since your so-called not a date, night out. He didn't want him to go back to seeming aimless and dazed, he preferred this preoccupied Declan any day. ----------------------------

You spend the rest of your weekend recovering from drinking yourself under the table on Friday night. You certainly couldn't hit the hard liquor like you used to. After saying you were leaving the conversation to clean, you ended up taking a nap, but at least after that you kept your promise. On Sunday you finish up, do your laundry and prep food for the next week. You get your work in, you run errands and you end up going to sleep with everything checked off your to-do list, which was always a good feeling. You curl up with Robert to go to sleep and admit that you're excited about Declan coming over tomorrow. You ask him if he's excited and he does nothing but purr, so you take it as a good sign.

The only thing you change about your work outfit is going from jeans to leggings once you get home. You have your hair down, as usual, the waves formed from braiding it while it was wet falling around your shoulders. You forgo the leather jacket as you turn on the stove and oven, knowing it'll warm the house up enough to not need it. The men's style band t-shirt is long enough so you won't be self-conscious about any camel toe situation that may arise, and you exchange your plain socks for knee-high fuzzy ones with grippers on the bottom, foregoing the houseshoes.

You hadn't cooked for anyone but yourself in months, as Charlotte had been your buddy to do these sorts of things with. You figure you could do almost everything you could with Charlotte with Declan and that was a reassuring feeling to have someone to be able to do things with again. You didn't know where he'd stand on painting each other's nails and doing face and hair masks, and you certainly couldn't walk around naked with him around but overall the trade-off wasn't too bad. No offense to Charlotte, but Declan was more appealing to look at.

He's less nervous than last time as he drives over to your place. Wearing basically the same thing he had last time, he carries a box of your favorite Ale under his strong defined arm as he makes his way to your door, he runs his hand through his hair, a quick fluff before seeing you through the long thin windows that run up the sides of your front door.

"Hey, c'mon in. I just started cooking." you say, ushering him in.

"God, it smells amazing in here babe." he says, greeting you with a one-armed hug, a quick rub to your back you don't entirely mind. To be coming in from the cold he was awfully warm. You return the hug lightly, a slight upgrade from last time, slowly getting used to this casual physical affection he seemed to be so practiced in.

"Thanks. Your boyfriend Robbie is asleep in his bed in my room if you wanna go see him." you smirk. He follows you with a cheeky stare to your bouncing form as you make your way to the kitchen, grabbing the long wooden spoon from the countertop and going back to warming up the ragu sauce you'd started yesterday.

"I think I'll let him rest." he chuckles. "I brought your favorite." he says, holding the cardboard box out with both hands.

"Aren't you a saint?" you say, half turning and a half smile thrown his way. "Just set it on the table and put a few in the fridge for us, please." you say, motioning to the fridge with your spoon. "You didn't have to do that." you say obviously, shaking your head and stirring the steaming pot in front of you.

"Eh," he says shrugging and taking his coat off. "Wanted to." he says as an excuse. "You're cooking for me and I needed to bring something besides my winning personality to the table. Literally." he lets out a rumbling deep laugh that makes a smirk appear across your face involuntarily.

"Well that's very nice of you, thank you. But I've been looking for an excuse to cook, to be honest."

"I will be happy to be that excuse." he chuckles, sitting in one of the chairs at the table, hanging his coat on the back of it.

"Hold out your enthusiasm until you've eaten." you chuckle.

The house falls quiet while you take things in and out of the fridge, work the dough one last time before throwing it into the loaf pan as the sounds of Use Your Illusion I move through the air.

"This is Guns n' Roses, right?" he asks with narrowed eyes, his head tilted to the side like a puppy hearing an unfamiliar sound.

"Yup." you say with a nod. "Don't Cry." you elaborate. "One of the first ones they wrote actually."

"I think I've heard it before." he says, totally unsure if he had, but he didn't want to look ignorant when you knew so much it was intimidating. "Hard to miss his voice isn't?"

"Oh yeah." you nod. "Bayy bayyyy" you sing with the song in matching gravel and nasal to Axl Roses as you turn your attention to the now boiling water on the stove.

"You drunk order this one too?" he grins.

You let out a soft laugh, wiping the excess flour off of your hands, unknown to you creating two white handprints on your black leggings on your butt as he silent laughs and grins at the sight. He wonders about being able to joke with you enough to dust the prints off of you, thinking it'd be funny. But he decides not to even attempt it. Things were going so well so far he didn't want his natural inclination to be physical to ruin things.

"No I've just been listening to a lot of guitar solo heavy stuff, wanted to hear some Slash." you explain. "Been doing a lot of really basic guitar stuff lately and I wanted to hear something more elaborate."

"That stuff get boring? Since you're good?" he asks, looking at the guitars around your living room.

"Not boring really...just not super stimulating." you shrug.

"You ever get bored with making drinks?" you offer, relating it to something he'd be able to understand.

"Ah. I see exactly what you mean now. I mostly just pour liquor and serve beer."

"No one appreciates a good pour around here?"

"Not enough." he says supportively.

"You'd think people would be more grateful for someone who knows how to give good head." you manage to get it out before you start laughing quietly, your shoulders shaking. (Foam on top of the beer is called 'head')

"Oh she's got jokes." he says with a big laugh and smile that you turn and shrug exaggeratedly at him.

"I do. I have jokes." you nod and laugh before tasting the sauce. You bring the spoon over to him and hold it out. "Taste?" you ask with a sweet tone and almost innocent expression that make his smile spread up to his eyes.

"What jokes you got?"

"Don't you know you aren't supposed to put someone on the spot for a joke?"

"I do now." he grins. He leans forward closer to the spoon. "But I had to ask."

"Alright...here's a really basic one. How do you know someone's a good guitar player?" you ask with a tilted head.

He pulls back from the spoon and with wide interested eyes he lilts "How?"

"Don't worry...they'll tell you." you roll your eyes.

"Ha." he says with a snort through his nose. "I appreciate some self-deprecating humor." he nods with pouted lips of approval. He leans forward and sips from the spoon and his brows shoot up. "Holy shit dude." he says, grabbing your hand around the spoon and bringing it back his way to lick the spoon and you laugh and his lack of grace about washing the spoon make your shoulders shrug and your eyes crinkle up as you shake your head and try to pull away.

"Down boy!" you laugh, using your other hand to lightly smack away at him.

"Fuck that's good Bella." he smacks his lips.

"It's usually a hit. Except with the vegetarians." you shrug.

"Is that beef?"

"And panchetta." you say, taking another taste. Yeah, it was pretty good.

"What's that?"

"Oh?" you ask, not used to people not knowing about meats with your Italian family. "Its Italian bacon basically, pork belly."

"Bella bacon then." he grins.

"Sounds a bit crude but..." you shrug and chuckle.

"Now you KNOW I didn't mean it like that." he says with a low brow and a teasing tone.

"I do." you smile and test the pasta.

"You just like giving me a hard time then?" he grins.

"Only because you're such a good target." you say innocently with a quick shake of your head.

"Only because you're a fuckin' sucker who walks into it, Declan." he says in a high pitched voice.

"Hey." you turn and point the spoon at him. "Your words. Not mine." you grin and move to the stove to plate.

"You ARE mean!" he says in faux offense and it makes you laugh out loud. What a good sport he was. A man that could take your sense of humor was hard to find, they either truly didn't get it or took everything way too seriously. And the worst was taking all your dirty jokes as a direct offer to fuck. But Declan seemed to have a goofy streak a mile wide running through that distractingly large body of his.

"Nah. You can take it." you shake your head. "And this is done. Wanna eat and listen in the living room?"

"Whatever you wanna do Bells." He certainly did know the right things to say.

You set up camp on the floor in front of your entertainment system. You put on the Wombats, to see if he did in fact like them, and he did not. You were thankful he was honest about it. A man that wasn't afraid to have his own opinions was nice. As the hours pass, the plates long ago went to sit in the sink and you shared a pint of gelato, which he'd also never had. It was an interesting dynamic, hanging out with someone who didn't know you too well, like Charlotte did. Charlotte knew you when you were a shitty like punk ass teen and knew your family. There's a different sort of vibe when you hang with someone new but it didn't feel uncomfortable with Declan and you couldn't help but notice how he always responded genuinely to things whether they were in agreement or not. A few Ale's down you've sat almost on top of each other, thigh to thigh and arm to arm, holding a records sleeve between the two of you as you look at the art and you tell him trivia bits about the music. He seems interested, and that's more than you could ask for from someone who didn't work in your sort of career.

He notices how much more comfortable you get with him everytime he sees you and he's more than pleased with himself for getting you to warm up to him. You'd come in so cold and now you were sharing a spoon, your arm behind his back as he held a record and you happily rambled about rock and roll. You go off on tangents and he was happy to listen, always learning something when he was with you, and that was more than he could say about any girls he'd met, let alone dated in years. You clearly weren't looking for his approval or wanting him to make your life interesting, you made your own life interesting and you were inviting him into it.

He'd get distracted watching you sit up and bend over and reach out to lift the needle and find the perfect spot on the records. You were well into your remastered High Voltage, you bobbing and grooving with it, lamenting on Highway to Hell being possibly your favorite album ever, and this one being ridiculously underrated and not popular enough with the masses. You move to speak of sex, drugs and rock and roll, and fairly unfiltered, which he appreciates. He finds out you've done more than a handful of shady things in your youth, taking the moniker of sex, drugs and rock and roll a little too seriously and following a crowd that did the same. It was comforting to know you also were trying to move on from a past you weren't particularly proud of, but didn't deny was a part of where you came from. He shared the sentiment and you could tell from his intently listening eyes that he understood.

You wondered if he'd had a similar upbringing with shit head friends but you weren't going to be nosey and ask, that was his business. Maybe after you knew him a little better, but then again maybe he'd just tell you himself. You were surprised at how fast you loosened up around him. You normally didn't share, and not that you were oversharing, speaking in generalities, overstepping the particularly dark parts. But you liked how he listened. You weren't used to men listening to you. They mostly waited their turn to talk. But something about Declan made you feel comfortable, which was more than you could say for anyone you'd met in a long, long time. He didn't seem to have such a hard time being warm with people like you did. It wasn't your natural inclination. But Declan was a good time, good company and seemed to love your food and dare you say, even your company. You tried not to think too much into it as you sat inches from his face in silence for a few seconds too many after noticing how late it was getting.

But as he pulled back, stating, no matter how hesitantly he did so, "You uh...yeah you need your sleep, Bella." he clears his throat and sits back on his hands. "I'll help you clean up and I'll get out of your hair." he says with a nod before clapping his hands together and standing, offering you his hand to help you up. You knew you didn't need his help getting up, and your knee-jerk reaction was to refuse his hand and get up to show you didn't need his offering of help. But you didn't'. You looked at his hand a few seconds and took it in your own as he yanked you up with no problem what so ever as if you weighed nothing. You watch his shoulders shift as he walks into the kitchen with the empty carton of gelato, licking the spoon one last time. You knew you didn't need Declan's help...but you certainly didn't seem to mind it.

@vale0413 @littledeadgirlwalking @jaegeeeeer

#Declan Harp #declan harp x reader #declan harp fic #declan harp fanfic #declan harp fan fiction #frontier #frontier au #frontier fanfic #frontier fic #frontier fandom #declan harp au #modern au declan harp #declan harp x ofc #declan harp x oc #jason momoa #declan harp fan fic #declan harp fluff #frontier fan fiction #frontier fan fic

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kainosite · 5 years

Text

Les Misérables 2018, Episode 2

Welp, Anthony Perkins is not going to be knocked from his pedestal of “Most Brick-Accurate Interpretation of Javert Despite Being Far Too Attractive for the Role” any time soon.

The Good:

• Finally we get an adaptation that will force both us and Valjean to confront the question “Does Petit Gervais deserve the protection of the French criminal justice system, and if not why not?” The miniseries kind of had to do this because it made Valjean’s theft of the coin so much more deliberate than in the book, but it has done it, and not before time. Les Mis fandom has been willfully avoiding this question for years.

• The Thénardiers were superb. I know Olivia Colman is contractually obliged to appear in every BBC production ever, but her ubiquity is entirely justified here because she may be the best Mme. Thénardier of all time. Thénardier was good too, and that brief flash of violence against Mme. T when she challenged him was a valuable addition, both because it explains a lot about her character and because it foreshadows what he’ll become in Paris. So far we’ve only seen him as a corpse looter, a dodgy innkeeper and an extortionist, but he’s more dangerous than that, and we caught a glimpse of that here. There were some nice subtle touches: the Sergeant of Waterloo sign and the story of Thénardier’s heroism, the fact that the girls only have two good dresses between them (Azelma immediately gets Cosette’s; when they’re showing off Cosette to Victurnien she’s wearing Éponine’s), the inclusion of unloved, adorable baby Gavroche.

• One consequence of Colman’s excellent performance is that Fantine’s choice to leave Cosette at the inn appears quite reasonable, as it should. Fantine did exactly what a young woman traveling alone is supposed to do: she gravitated towards the mother playing with her children because that’s the person who is supposed to be safe. Mme. T was welcoming and sympathetic, though still with a bit of a Thénardiery edge, the little girls played together like sisters, and Fantine’s decision to leave Cosette in this stable, apparently happy environment seems entirely natural. She had no way to know that wholesome surface was wallpaper over an abyss. The people who can afford the diligence get a recommendation for the other inn, but she had to walk. (The Vimes theory of Yelp reviews.)

• Having Fantine walk in on Madeleine’s mayoral inauguration was a clever way to handle that exposition in theory, although slightly clunky in practice.

• Madeleine is so awkward. His speeches are so bad. His hat and coat are so ugly. <333

• I love every OC in Montreuil. I love the bourgeois who is super excited about Madeleine becoming the mayor (I hereby dub him “Robert”). I love Fantine’s factory friends who gossip about their sexy boss and his bedroom grotto and then run to get him to rescue their fallen coworker from evil cops. I even love the public letter writer with his creepy but pragmatic advice. I imagine he’s been witness to a lot of human misery and has developed that cynicism and dark humor you often see in people in frontline emergency services.

• I don’t love Mme. Victurnien, but that’s her, all right.

• This adaptation is doing an excellent job with Fantine’s illiteracy, and has been since the first episode. The skin-crawling awfulness of having to conduct your most private, personal business through the public letter writer and have him know and comment on all of it really comes through.

• The police are all in plainclothes and basically look like a gang of thugs. This adaptation has really grasped the 1820s French police aesthetic. I also appreciated how hostile and judgey everyone at the Prefecture was towards Javert.

• I don’t know what it says about Davies that the characters he can most consistently write well are the asshole fuckboys, but Bamatabois was great.

Also I don’t think I’ve seen a Fantine beat up a Bamatabois this bad since 1934 when she put his head through a glass window. As in the 1934 adaptaion, this creates a minor problem with the narrative because it means she really is guilty of a serious assault and Javert is right to arrest her, but you’d have to have a heart of stone not to enjoy seeing Bamatabois punched repeatedly in the face. I do not have a heart of stone.

• I’m choosing to believe that Javert’s handshake following his resignation is a little nod to readers of the novel, who know as well as he does that a legitimate magistrate has not taken the hand of a spy.

• Nice fake jet manufacturing process in Valjean’s factory: they even included the gum-lac. The flag at the Prefecture of Police is the white fleur-de-lys, not the tricolor. They really are putting tremendous effort into getting some of the little details right.

• This adaptation’s sense of place continues to be excellent. Montreuil-sur-Mer has its steep hill; during Madeleine’s inauguration you can even see the Canche. The soldiers from the garrison are a ubiquitous background presence. The Prefecture of Police in Paris looks like the old headquarters at the Rue de Jérusalem, which if it wasn’t a happy accident shows a truly remarkable degree of historical research and commitment to accuracy. (They then proceeded to cover it up with that hideous red font, truly the ‘YELLOW’ of this adaptation.)

The Meh

• If you must go with a “Javert immediately makes a positive identification of Valjean” plot their first meeting wasn’t a disaster, I guess. There was some decent dramatic tension. I appreciated Madeleine’s initial cunning plan to stare out the window for the entire rest of his life so that Javert couldn’t look him in the face, before realizing that this probably wasn’t going to work. The little slip where he called Javert ambitious and betrayed his prior knowledge of him was good.

• Why does every person in this adaptation have a ridiculous and implausible horse? Why does Javert have a horse to ride to Paris, which is far enough away that you’d need to change horses and you should probably just take the diligence, but not to Arras, which is within riding distance?

The horses are elevated from “bad” to “meh” by the fact that Valjean’s palomino is gorgeous, though very unlikely to exist in northern France in 1823, and if he must ride an implausible horse it might as well be an anachronistically pretty one. Also by Valjean and Javert’s fraught moonlit horseback encounter, which is obviously what an adaptation should do with its ridiculous horses if it insists on having them.

• The Chief Inspector in Paris was neither Chabouillet nor attractive, nor did he have any fun hierarchical tension with Javert. Boo.

• This adaptation is sure going hard on the Valjean/Fantine vibes, huh. I don’t hate it, which probably counts as an enormous accomplishment for the miniseries. I think it manages not to come off as gross mainly because Madeleine is so incredibly awkward that it’s impossible to imagine it ever progressing to the point of a sexual relationship. Fantine smiles at Madeleine because she’s so relieved to have found a safe harbor. After an internal struggle Madeleine manages to smile back because that’s what you’re supposed to do when people smile at you, right??? and she’s so powerless that she’s the only adult in Montreuil he doesn’t find threatening. In a decade or two they might progress all the way to reciprocal “Good mornings” when she comes in to work. That’s as far as this is going to go.

• Sadly this vision of social harmony and human connection will never be realized, because Fantine got fired. Specifically she got fired by Valjean for added drama. I know people are up in arms about this, but honestly I think it’s fine? At the end of the day it is Valjean’s sexist policy that costs Fantine her job and his chosen supervisor who implements it. The franc stops with him. Having him fire her himself just makes his responsibility a little more apparent. I don’t think it’s necessary to depict it this way, but it’s fine. Adaptations do this sometimes. In 2012 something very similar happens, where Valjean is too distracted by Javert to deal with the Fantine Baby Drama and lets a malicious subordinate call the shots. The Original French Concept Album has Valjean fire her directly without any excuse for his behavior at all, and nobody thinks the musical is a irredeemable character-ruining travesty of an adaptation– well, one guy.

• Shouty Valjean is not doing anything for me but he’s not catastrophic either. It is unfortunate that most of the people he interacts with in this episode, and therefore most of the people he shouts at, are female, but we know from Episode 1 that he’s equally happy to shout at bishops who have just saved him from a lifetime sentence of forced labor. Westjean is an equal opportunity shouter.

The decision to portray Valjean’s saintliness as a constant effort that slips whenever he’s stressed is an unusual one, and certainly not Brick-accurate (Brick Valjean’s saintliness is a constant effort that almost never slips), but I don’t think we should dismiss it out of hand. Television needs to externalize internal conflicts in some way, and I can’t say this is a less artistically valid method than eg. I Miserabili’s tendency to have everyone monologue all the time. We’ll have to see where they go with it.

• Valjean didn’t refuse Javert’s resignation. The resignation scene is so weird that I’ve decided I’m actually okay with this, because it’s really very unclear what Javert’s is resigning over. Is it the “false” denunciation? Is it the argument over Fantine, which he also apologizes for? Has all this turmoil just made him reconsider his life choices, and he’s decided to emigrate to America and become a paddleboat pilot on the Mississippi? Who knows! Valjean has a moral responsibility to stop Javert falling on his sword over the denunciation, but not to keep him on the police force. If Javert is going to be this vague, it’s his problem.

• The Burning Coin of Shame was so melodramatic Hugo’s ghost is presumably kicking himself for not making Valjean pick it up in the novel. I don’t hate it, but when you’ve out-melodrama’d Hugo it may be time to take a step back.

The Bad

• That red font looks worse every time I see it.

• Valjean’s godforsaken ponytail. WHY. It’s not even attractive! Who the fuck decided to lift every aesthetic decision from the 2012 movie except for the period appropriate hair!?

• Speaking of period appropriate hair, your prospective employers might be less likely to assume you’re a slut if you put it up like a respectable woman instead letting it flop all over the place like a prostitute, Fantine.

• I don’t love Fantine’s intake interview. There are ways they could have depicted the factory’s morality policy without making Madeleine come off like such a nosy sexist asshole, and Davies should have found one. Being the nosy sexist asshole is Victurnien’s job. Madeleine is meant to be the paternalistic, well-meaning sexist asshole.

• The Brick glides over Marius’s childhood in a few sentences, so I appreciate there is a difficulty in finding incidents to fill the Pontmercy sections in these early episodes. TOO BAD. You decided to merge the timelines, Davies; it was self-evident that this was going to be the major problem with that approach when you did it. THIS IS THE LIFE YOU HAVE CHOSEN. Go over the novel with a fine-toothed comb or make some shit up, but it was your responsibility to fill this gap somehow.

Killing off Georges Pontmercy ten years early is not a solution.

a) You gave us Hot Sad Dad Pontmercy and then tore him away from us two episodes before you needed to. HOW DARE.

b) The Marius timeline in the Brick makes sense. His father dies, he finds out Georges loved him from Mabeuf, he starts researching his dad and Napoleon and grows estranged from his grandfather, Gillenormand kicks him out of the house, he meets Bossuet and Courfeyrac. Marius’s internal growth, the timeline and the plot all work together as a cohesive whole. Fuck knows how any of that is going to work out now.

c) Marius is still going to be a child next week, so killing off Georges didn’t even solve the problem, it just postponed it for the space of a single episode.

d) The gap wouldn’t even have been that hard to fill! Georges could have fought with the prosecutor about his decoration and spied on Marius at church or something. It would have given us a chance to meet Mabeuf properly. Fuck this bullshit so much.

• This is a minor thing, but there should be women at Gillenormand’s table. Ancien Régime salon culture was run by women; the exclusion of women from male political and social life in France was a nineteenth century invention. The Brick is very clear about this – Gillenormand generally hangs around with Baroness T. History has enough sexism in it already. There’s no need to invent more.

• I have no objections to Valjean firing Fantine in person, but the toy bird introduces a pretty serious flaw in Victurnien’s “She’s a callous whore who doesn’t care about her child” case, one you’d think Valjean might notice. There’s no reason for it even to appear in that scene! Have the Tories cut the BBC’s budget so much they can’t afford script editors?

• Gosh those are some bright, white street lamps they have in Montreuil. I wonder what sort of oil burns with such a constant flame?

• If Davies wanted to dissociate his adaptation from the musical, a good first step might have been to spend much less time with the campy tooth and wig guy. Fantine’s plot arc was actually fairly good up until that point, but after that it really did devolve into misery porn.

• Oyelowovert has a very pretty face. What he does not have is any coherent motivation for his behavior in this episode.

Javert’s plotline was such a fucking disaster in this that I gave it its own post.

• If Davies insists on doing this stupid Arras entrapment plot, the least he could do is give us a Robert and a Genflou to make up for it. Well, we got a Robert but not a Genflou, and I’m mad.

This episode was a mix of the sublime and the grotesque, and therefore, in a certain sense, truly worthy of Victor Hugo. But Gavroche is going to have a lot of work to do at the barricade to make up for this mess.

#Les Misérables 2018 #Les Mis Adaptations #Les Misérables

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korrasera · 5 years

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I respect you so much, but I just feel like violent misogynists have manipulated you into believing that you're as bad as your puritanical oppressors for criticizing the violent tastes of violent misogynists. D&D isn't devil worship and childhood friends aren't pedo apologia, but when violent womenhaters like looking at women receiving violence, it's not that deep. You know how terrible it is to be forced to change, and people are preying on that to keep you from holding them to a standard.

If you honestly believe that 'violent misogynists' have manipulated me into believing that I'm bad if I criticize their taste, then you clearly don't respect me. Instead of trying to better understand the position or engage with my argument in good faith, you instead have to invent a version of me that's been manipulated in order to argue with. Yeah, people get manipulated a lot, but in a discussion where I have been trying to talk about the way in which antis manipulate people with emotional appeals, in what world did it make sense to you that I would be at all responsive to an I'm Rubber You're Glue statement?

Here, let me demonstrate by criticizing the tastes of fic writers and other creators targeted by antis:

Oh my god there is so much darkfic that disgusts me. The fact that there are fic where people play with themes of childhood sexual abuse in particular creep me out, both because it hits my heebie jeebies and because of my own traumatic experiences. And let's not forget that I'm a tremendous snob when it comes to fiction too, so I'm quite happy saying that the few things I've come across that fit that definition were not written to my standard of objective quality. If I were feeling nice I'd tell them how to use a semicolon, and if I wasn't feeling nice and were also an asshole I'd tell them that their writing sucks.

I'm picky and judgey when it comes to the media I consume and I haven't been exposed to something that engages with those issues in a way that doesn't make me roll my eyes. I'm certain that some such media exists somewhere, in which fictional characters engage with serious and extremely dark themes that I personally find uncomfortable that I could accept as being of a high standard of quality, but I haven't seen it yet.

And there we go. Your gold standard for describing how I’ve been manipulated is that I could not write that and I just did. I not only wrote it, I’m fine writing it and I don’t think it makes me at all the same as my oppressors to have criticized the quality of that kind of fiction. I’ve read a lot of shitty things in my time and what little I’ve read of darkfic has gone into that same bucket.

And yet I'm perfectly able to separate the idea of criticizing fic for quality and content from my any moral judgment I might make about it.

You see, the moral piece is quite easy:

Fiction is not reality.

The idea of thoughtcrime is unethical.

Being disgusted by something does not prove that it is immoral.

Fictional stories about fictional characters do not harm real living people.

Next, the people you’re referring to aren’t violent misogynists. You're applying that term to a group that last I checked has an abundance of:

Gay and bisexual people

Transgender people

Queer people

Neurodivergent people

Disabled people

Abuse survivors

Black people

People of color

Women and other feminine people

Last I checked, wrapping up any part of fandom you don’t like as violent misogynists really just comes off like more of the same kind of rhetorical manipulations I’ve described previously.

Don’t forget, I know that the parts of fandom that get targeted like this are predominantly those inhabited by women, queer people, and neurodivergent people. But sure, targeting those segments of fandom isn’t misogynistic at all. Or ableist. Or homophobic. /sarcasm

To wit, your position is only persuasive if we accept your assumption that these people you're fighting are violent misogynists. Since the group you're talking about aren't violent misogynists, it's not persuasive. We've already addressed how it isn't an ethical argument, but this kinda just seals the deal.

#korrasrsly #antis #thoughtcrime #Anonymous

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cheetahsprints · 6 years

Text

Beyond the Surface

Words: 2822 Summary: Cisco couldn’t stand Harrison Wells. Crossing his path in an unexpected place would change that view permanently. Rating: Gen A/N: Title inspired by Fly Down - Stephen

Cisco tapped his pen on his mouth. He checked over his grocery list to be sure he got everything. It was just general foodstuff. He added some extra items.

- That new conditioner I heard about - All the bath bombs - Try the candle Caitlin suggested that smells like my kinda man called “Mechanical grease and Angst” - A recorder to piss off my grumpy neighbor. Tell him it's for a hipster band. - Dog food. - One of those big fake owls. It might freak out neighbors cats

Cisco always left without dog food. He underlined it three times. He chuckled at the recorder addition, picturing the constipated expression his neighbor would make. It wasn’t a challenge to antagonize him. Cisco was constantly finding new and creative ways to accomplish his mission.

His neighbor was also his professor. He was the unrelenting Harrison Wells. He cursed the day he incidentally moved to his floor, beside him to boot. The man was intelligent, handsome, and mysterious. Under most circumstances, Cisco would have a crush the size of Alaska. Unfortunately, Harrison Wells needed a personality transplant. He was an infuriating jackass. He gave not an inch, and he enjoyed pushing people over the edge.

Every day he passed the man’s giant door poster. It was a picture of the Grinch (cartoon version) that said: Don't bother me after 8 p.m. or I'll steal YOUR Christmas. The building supervisor had referred to him as only Mr. Grinch, due to this decor.

Cisco was willing to bet it was custom-made. Rumor had it that Professor Wells was a man of many talents. Cisco’s complaints also fell on deaf ears. Because no one else lived on this floor to corroborate his stories. Cisco didn't blame people for moving. On the bright side, he had to pay lower rent for this shit apartment location. The apartment itself was nice, with a big bathtub, walk-in closet, and balcony. It was worth Wells knocking on his door to tell him his party was too loud. Wells threatened to call the cops, but he never did. He knew Cisco would have it cleaned and shut down before they got halfway there.

His cats meowed all hours of the night. Cisco didn't know how he could hear them running around at night. Especially since one was a stick. One had also snuck into his apartment and shredded his stuffed Rocky the flying squirrel. It had been a present from his ex, Lisa. On one hand, technically kind of a good thing. On the other, he had liked that squirrel.

Cisco perked when he heard his six month old brown-and-white shih tzu mix yapping. He strolled out to the balcony. Sure enough, there they were. Wells’ stringy black and white oriental shorthair and tabby maine coon. The maine coon was the chillest animal on the planet, asleep to the tune of barking dog. That was the one that murdered his squirrel. Everytime Cisco left his apartment, the oriental starting yowling from behind Wells’ door. Then his puppy barked her head off.

Stevie, his brindle greyhound, appeared to investigate. He nudged Cisco curiously. He patted his service dog on the head absently. Cisco was prone to seizures. They were mostly random, but could sometimes be caused by distress. He grabbed a squeaky toy to distract Buttercup. He closed the balcony doors. He packed up and got Stevie in his work outfit. He expected to run into the Professor’s dumb face when he opened the door. He always complained about Buttercup’s barking even though he could just bring in his cats. Cisco had nothing against cats as a whole. He had everything against Wells’ disregard for the effects his cats had on others. Cisco was relieved when he was miraculously not there. He either decided to keep to himself or went out. Cisco saw enough of him in class, it just figured he would end up living beside him.

On a positive note, pissing him off was the most entertaining thing. He even drove him crazy in class. On the first day, Professor Wells had began by saying, “Science fact: The world around you is made up of protons, neutrons, morons, and electrons.”

When he said “morons” he had looked directly at Cisco. He wasn’t sure if Wells was presumptuous, if it was an accident, or if the man was prejudiced. Wells hadn’t eased up on him. He had called on Cisco to answer the toughest questions, contradicted all of his answers. Cisco wasn’t a special case, Wells was mean to other students, but they were slackers or whatever. He did have the potential for kindness, immediately helping anyone who seriously required it.

Either way, Cisco went out of his way to make his teaching aspect of life a bit of a nightmare. He pretended to be incredibly dumb in class, forcing Wells to cater to him. He would ace his tests and grin like a little shit.

He would ask the stupidest most basic questions, eyelashes fluttering like an infatuated schoolgirl. Wells was that “hot silver fox professor” as the women, and even some men, all of whom had no self respect, referred to him. They fawned over him. It was revolting. Cisco made them upset too by imitating their behavior. Wells always apparently lost his train of thought. He would sort of freeze on the spot, mouth open. He stuttered over his next words. It took everything Cisco had to hold in his laughter.

He kept the irritation to the minimum at home. Needless to say, but the airheads in his class didn’t believe Wells played the most obnoxious music at four in the morning. They didn’t believe he had a psychic connection to his cats and bid them to drive Cisco up the wall. They didn’t believe Wells pounded on the wall when Cisco played Christmas music. They didn’t believe he would sit on his balcony and throw things onto Cisco’s. Those objects had included: a wrench, a stupid singing toy from a dollar-per-item store, and even a rather large dildo. He had the supernatural ability to know when Cisco was studying. His hobby of throwing random shit would always scare the daylights out of Cisco.

For some reason, they did believe when he told them about the time Cisco had returned to his apartment shirtless. Some wiseass at he dog park had knocked him into a puddle of mud. At least, he hoped it was mud. He had thrown his shirt away and stormed home in a huff. Wells had seemed to choke on his own saliva when he saw Cisco. His blushing and stuttering was adorable. It was like he had never seen another man shirtless.

Cisco figured he might’ve been offended by the tattoo, curling around his nipple and over his shoulder. Cisco had experienced a bit of a phase in his first semester of college. He lost a bet which required him to get the tats. They were pretty, and he luckily didn’t end up regretting his decision. He went through a bit of a ‘only get away with being young and dumb once’ phase. He cleared his less that stellar ideas and urges from his system, to pave the way for responsible adulting. He would have a lot of stories for his kids, if he ever felt like having any. Maybe he would tell the stories to Barry’s or Caitlin’s.

Stevie walked easily beside him in the Starling-Central City Shopping Center. He whistled a jaunty tune. He was having a pretty good day. He had satisfied with his level of studying for the upcoming exams and wasn’t exhausted. His new puppy hadn’t peed on the carpet this week. He hadn’t seen Wells’ annoying face yet.

He spoke too soon. He saw Wells, browsing in the assorted candles and incense. He glared at his turned back. He couldn’t believe the man chose this day to enter society and be shopping for something Cisco was looking to purchase. He tentatively stepped into the section, footsteps light. He hoped Wells wouldn’t see him.

He heard someone scoff and stage-whisper, “Do you see that rat he has in his cart? Like anyone believes that’s a real service dog.”

His girlfriend cackled. “What an asshole.”

Cisco’s gaze riveted on Wells’ little dog. She was a chihuahua-corgi mix named Rocket. Wells was secretive as hell. The only things Cisco knew was that he had a daughter and pets. That was due to the photos on his desk of a young girl in braces, a calm Chorgi with its tongue hanging out, next to the 85 % legs oriental shorthair (same pic) and one of the fluffy Maine coon. And there was a final faded, worn one of a German Shepherd/Dalmation in a doggie wheelchair next to an urn simply engraved Sam - Never Forget. Cisco had asked the little dog’s name, and gotten such a gruff reply that he didn’t inquire further.

It was simple to assume his professor was not much beyond a grumpy old jerk. His humanity seemed to be buried deep. He was robotic, functional enough to take care of pets and teach a class, that was all. Cisco would have to rethink that. Rocket was even cuter in person. Wells had obviously heard and he winced. He picked up Rocket, cradling her close. He marched up to the couple.

“Hey what is your deal? His dog is well-behaved, and he did nothing to you!” Cisco crossed his arms, raising his chin. The boyfriend attempted to tower over him, but he was no match for Cisco’s sheer force of will.

“Back off asshole,” The girlfriend butted in. “No one asked you.”

“I’m the asshole? It’s pretty rude to go around assuming things about someone’s life. For all you know, he nearly lost his life fighting in a war.”

“For all I know, you’re a phony too. Look at that - that thing you have. Is it imported from Africa or something?” The Dude narrowed his eyes at Stevie. And that was the end for Cisco.

“Listen here,” he said dangerously, voice flat. “Judgey tools like you is why we can’t have nice things. You can get that stick out of your ass and -”

Dude started making offended noises. The Girlfriend looked ready to jump on Cisco and tear his hair out. He braced himself. Let them try. A distinct high-pitched bark interrupted his tirade. His mouth shut with an audible click, and he whirled around. Rocket was back in the cart, whining, trying to get to Harrison Wells. He was crouched on the floor, all six feet of him. His hand was covering his eyes. The other hand was braced on the shelves. He was rocking back and forth, making breathy noises.

Cisco rushed over, argument forgotten. He wasn’t sure if he’d go to hell for it, but he gently picked up Rocket and placed her on the floor. He certainly lost his mind whenever someone tried to touch his well-trained greyhound on duty. But this seemed like an emergency. Rocket whined again and snuffled on Wells cheek. He sighed and pulled her close, taking deep breaths. Cisco shifted. He glanced over his shoulder to see that the couple had wandered off. Confrontation wasn’t always the best idea. Sometimes, his anger got the better of him. Stevie watched calmly. He looked a bit twitchy. He was always wary whenever Cisco got himself into tense situations.

Wells gained control of himself. His eyes were glazed for a moment, then it faded. His hands were shaking. Rocket was pressed close, licking at his face. He picked her up and stood, clutching her to his chest. He stared at Cisco with wide, bleary eyes. He had never seen Wells looking so spooked.

“Hey buddy. You good or do you need to call someone?”

“Did - did I hurt anyone? When episodes strike, I black out,” Wells explained at Cisco’s confused look. “I can be prone to violence because I think I’m. Back there.”

His voice was at such a low pitch. Cisco was stiff as a board. He shook out his hands, trying to loosen his muscles. He wasn’t afraid. He just wasn’t sure how to tread here.

“No it’s fine. You were kinda on the floor. Was that my fault?”

“They started it, you were only trying to defend me, thank you,” Wells replied.

He was surprisingly relaxed, for all that they didn’t get along. Cisco felt like a veil had been torn from in front of his eyes. He saw everything in front of him anew. He should really take some of his own advice.

“Well, it got a little out of hand ‘cause I don’t know when to shut my mouth and walk away sometimes. Can I - can I buy you some ice cream or something, Professor Wells?”

Wells blinked. Then he laughed, heartily. “You can call me Harry, Mr. Ramon.”

“Cisco!” He continued, mostly to himself, “Big Belly Burger sounds damn good right now.”

Harry nodded in agreement. Cisco indicated his cart. Harry began to pile his stuff inside. It was more efficient to take one cart. His eyes widened at the Star Wars paraphernalia. So, he was a fellow nerd too. There was probably so much Cisco didn’t know about him. These recent discoveries only scratched the surface. He suddenly had an overwhelmingly urgent desire to know everything that Harry would give him.

On the way to the in-store restaurant, Cisco said casually, “I have seizures. Stevie here, he’ll sit and howl when he senses one coming, so I can find a safe place. He stays by my side and helps me out. Completely necessary just like yours.”

“Some people think they’re smart. The reality being they know nothing at all,” Harry replied.

“I know that all I know is that I do not know anything,” Cisco said and snorted. “That guy didn’t even know how to remove the stick in his ass.”

“There’s no proof of that phrase, but the spirit of it is true.”

They finished their meals, bought separately, and Harry paid for their ice cream. Cisco opened his mouth to protest. He was silenced by Harry’s glare.

“I’m sorry I act empty-headed in your class,” Cisco confessed.

Harry nodded and lapped at his ice cream. He smiled as he scooped some with two fingers and fed it to Rocket. Absurdly, Cisco’s stomach started doing acrobatics. He couldn’t pinpoint the cause. He scratched Stevie’s ears, who made a dog-sigh of content.

“I’m sorry for being a difficult neighbor,” Harry offered. “Let’s promise to be at least civil to one another for now on?”

“Agreed. Life will be much easier. And we’re totally having a Star Wars marathon.”

Harry grinned. He rubbed at his lips with a finger. Cisco gnawed on his cone and watched him for a moment. He felt a stab of guilt. He had despised Harry for his behavior. He was a hypocrite. He saw now he had acted the exact same way and judged him. He knew next to nothing about his private life, because he presumed that he did not have one. What did he think? That Harry went home and hooked himself up to a charger?

The man probably had dreams, hobbies, as many likes as dislikes. Hell, Cisco had known he had a family he must care about, from the picture of his daughter on his desk. Cisco distantly noticed Harry had no wedding ring. Somewhere, under all that brain and bluster, Cisco was beginning to see his heart.

The best restart would be to address the root of the problem. Then they could clear the air. He licked his lips nervously. He locked his fingers in his lap and leaned forward. Harry folded his arms on the table, chin lifting in preparation.

Cisco kept his voice soft and not accusing. “Why did you single me out the first day of class?”

“Are you kidding? I heard you were practically wunderkind,” Harry answered in an incredulous tone. “I was very impressed with your records.”

“Seriously? I grew up in the most obscure town.”

“I’m in the habit of keeping an eye on talent. Finding out you were in my class made my entire week, which isn’t saying much, but still. You are the most brilliant and creative person I’ve met, aside from my daughter.”

Cisco internally preened, a flush of pleasure coming over him. He had a weakness for direct compliments of his talents. He realized that also meant Harry had believed in exactly none of his bullshit. Harry pointed at his own face and raised his eyebrows. Cisco squinted at him. Harry spread his hand and made circles. Cisco scrambled in embarrassment to wipe his face off. He found it wasn’t as bad as Harry indicated. He scowled.

“You say such sweet things. But you’re still a dick.”

“Did you really expect anything else?”

#harrisco #pre-slash #my fic #Harry and Cisco have service dogs #Harry: PTSD (implied)#Cisco: Seizures (mentioned)#Professor Wells #college student Cisco #Bad Neighbors Harrisco #Swearing #tw: panic attack #no detailed class scenes sadly #I would not be able to pace a whole detailed story #So have a snippet type thing

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ellaintrigue · 4 years

Photo

Here is a word I don't use often: "evil." Frankly, because it's kind of an old, mythical sounding word, at least in my opinion. Now, I haven't seen much of my dad's side of the family in years but a couple of years ago two of my first cousins added me on FaceBook. There were spats over politics that I have since realized were petty, with me as the instigator. The rest of the family I stopped seeing when I was a teenager and started working. I just didn't seem to have anything in common with them. My aunts are nice people but I've always preferred my mom's side of the family, and my dad's mother was abusive towards him although he'll never admit it. He says that her splitting his mouth open numerous times when he was a small boy kept him in line. I cannot imagine punching an 8-year-old in the face...

All of my cousins (there's like 5 total) seem like family people with good morals and I was talking to one on a regular basis but I've officially reached the end of the road with her. My parents told me to block her but I'm a big girl and come to my own conclusions. She can stay on FaceBook, and we can send each other Christmas cards if we want because I'm actually pretty relaxed when it comes to it. But I cannot forgive.

In the first screenshot, a few months ago, she hits me up complaining about something my mom posted on FaceBook. Then she proceeds to imply mom could have prevented her current cancer diagnosis.

That was hard for me to swallow. Her saying that, not about testing. Everyone knows that if hey, cool, you get checked for cancer soon enough then you'll probably be okay. But that just isn't how life works or no one would die of cancer. When Cousin Charles and his wife died months apart from each other of lung cancer all I thought was how sad it was, not "OMG WHY DID THEY SMOKE OMG THEY SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN CHECKED SOONER." That line of thinking doesn't do any good.

My cousin's words hurt me, and I didn't want to repeat them to my mom because they would hurt her, but almost a month later, I did, because I felt mom had a right to know. My cousin argued with mom on FaceBook over politics, which I saw as harmless. Politics bring out the worst in people but if they want to go back and forth, then whatever. But then my cousin said this crap to me, then she started bashing my mom hard on FB in their discussions before I told mom what she said. So mom took her off of FaceBook since my cousin was mocking her and calling her stupid. (This cousin is in her mid-40's by the way.)

My cousin then proceeds to message mom asking her why she was unfriended and mom called her out on what she said to me. At this point my cousin tells my mom she thought my mom was so smart she knew to get tested for cancer. Mom cut her off totally and I was further enraged.

Now a couple of months later I hadn't forgotten those two attacks on my mom but didn't raise a stink. This cousin has been very kind to me personally. But then I told her and my mom that I was worried about my best friend because she seemed overwhelmed by life circumstances. Mom said it sounded like my BF needed some help around the house and with her kids, my cousin said "it's not your problem."

That rang in my ears... if you care about someone they're not a "problem" or not "your problem," you reach out to them just like how they're reached out to you to help you in the past.

I ended up pretty sickly and it turned out to be a pelvic infection. Which is my exact wording when I posted on FB after coming back from getting urgent medical treatment. I have 31 friends on FB but also don't mind opening up. Except when you message me saying "IS IT GONORRHEA?!" which is exactly what my cousin did. I just typed "uhhhhhh" and she says "the fucking asshole that didn't tell you!" Now, I'm a pretty non-judgey person and I've posted before that people can get STDs from long term partners, or even while being responsible, etc. But I've had gynecological problems for years and I was sitting there sick and tired wondering WHY the fuck my cousin would just instantly conclude that I have gonorrhea. And why/how the fuck would I have gonorrhea? (And for people as daft as my cousin: I don't have it. LOL.)

This interaction comes after she tried to hook me up with a drug addict for two months (she kept messaging me about him) and I got in it with her over that (I wrote about that on my last blog). She even admitted she didn't know he had a criminal record after the fact. She just thought the glowering, grey-skinned, toothless middle-aged grocery store stocker would be a good match for me. But, hey, maybe I shouldn't be so sensitive and defensive. I took a deep breath and told myself, "Ella, you need to calm down, she's probably not even making assumptions about your lifestyle. She's probably just gotten gonorrhea a lot from making love to methheads and was just trying to relate to you. Stop being so harsh on her."

So, I let that go even though I was starting to foam at the mouth at that point. Must. Not. Be. Petty. But, I have to think, if I shouldn't worry about my best friend since age 5 because she's "not my problem" then how is my health my cousin's problem? And if I got with a drug addict she suggested, then wouldn't he be my problem?

On Sunday my cousin messages me, attacking my mom again, which is the 2nd screenshot pictured. Again, totally random, I had just mentioned in my last blog that people thought I was fat. And I am, I write about anything. BUT HERE WE GO. HERE WE FUCKING GO AGAIN, JUST FUCKING BASHING MY MOM. At that point, as you can see, I straight out called her out and I'm just fucking done. Not blocking her but I don't want to talk. She can just exist and I wish her the best but here is where I use the word "evil." And she can read this too, but it won't hurt her like it hurt me when she bashed my mom for having cancer. Just leave me alone. I don't want to hear that messenger ding unless it's someone with nice things to say or a cute guy that wants to buy me ice cream.

You can call someone ugly, attack their politics, say their dog stinks, or tell them to jump off a cliff. And you shouldn't do any of those things but I think one of the lowest blows you can do is attack someone with cancer and judge them for how they handle it. To say they should have gotten tested sooner and to completely disregard their feelings and what they're going through is unforgivable and inexcusable. And she did it twice, with me, and with my mom.

This is proof that you can't pick your family, that you shouldn't open up to everyone, and a prime example of a toxic human. An evil human.

Now, I'm done ranting and have things to do. Those things are not smoking meth, crack, or shooting heroin and I'm not going to go contract gonorrhea, I am going to work this morning. Yep, I'm that boring. Peaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaace the fuckkkkkk out.

0 notes

couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name · 7 years

Note

how was your mom during IT

God okay so firstly I’d been bugging her for a literal month to go because I didn’t want to go to the theater alone and like. She was so against this lmao

“You liked the miniseries and it wasn’t even that good!!” *Me, texting my friend later* ‘She’s literally gonna hate this movie so much the cursing alone will give her a heart attack lol’

We went to the movie tavern bc birthday giftcards, and she had never been there before but was immediately Sold lol. She ordered a glass of wine but with their portions there it was really two glasses and she was loosing her mind over that and the reclining seats lmao

(I got a big margarita, mozzarella sticks and m&m’s bc this is one of my favorite works of fiction and I Was Not Fucking Playing Around)

She almost actually screamed when Georgie got his arm ripped off and I was like? What were you expecting???

“How the hell does that lady not hear him screaming” “That’s literally a plot point” “It’s a stupid one”

A half annoyed/half horrified ‘oh come on’ when the arm stretched out from the sewers and dragged Georgie in

“Is that that Strangest Thoughts boy you mentioned??? Those glasses make him look like the Nice Gremlin.”

Richie: *opens his mouth*

“Well, the Nice Gremlin would never speak like that.”

Ben immediately became her favorite, relatable

Lmao every scene where he lowkey struck out with Bev she got SO DISTRESSED halfway through the movie I had to lean over and say “Don’t worry, they impulsively run off together in like 30 years” and she was like ‘Oh thank God.”

“Who just knows where their local sewers dump out?”

Omfg Stan’s first scene with the painted lady she was like “Stop backing up!! She’s BEHIND you! Have common sense!”

The library scene she was so proud for a second bc she thought she caught an actor slipping up and looking at the balloon and I’m like “She was looking at the boy that just abruptly got up and walked passed her this isn’t cinemasins” and she was very put out by that lol

“Molly you usually talk more during movies, having trouble predicting scenes this time?” She says, smugly,

“Ben’s about to be chased by It in the form of a headless body,” I said, not taking my eyes of the screen.

Two minutes later I could feel her seething lmao

When the Bowers Gang had Ben cornered and the car drove by and the balloon rose up in the backseat we got a horrified “Uh-oh”

*Every time Richie does a Voice* “What the hell is he trying to do here?”

GOD the pharmacy scene with Bev and Mr. Keene omfg. When it started we got a quiet “ew.” When it continued we got a slightly harder “Ew.” When the lois lane/creepy smile moment happened we got a full volumed, disgusted “EW.“ I was trying so hard not to laugh omfg

“Who in their right mind starts smoking at 13!” “Mom…didn’t you literally start smoking at 13?” “Don’t talk over the movie, Molly.”

The burning bodies/bowers gang scene with Mike: “That was just unnecessary he seems like a nice boy”

Bev’s dad: “I don’t like him much at all.”

“Please tell me you never jumped off a cliff when you were a child.”

“No thirteen year old girl has any business being THAT pretty”

Oh God she was forcibly exposed to a lot of New Kids On The Block in the 80′s so she was literally dying every time there was a joke about them. Ben’s poster had us c a c k l i n g

“27 is just a weirdly specific number of years” “He’s a demonic alien eldritch horror that presents as a clown and eats people, but you’re gonna take issue with how long he hibernates?” “I don’t have to agree with everything Stephen King comes up with”

Omfg I forget when in the movie but there was some scene with all the bowers boys and my mom was like “…Why is that boy’s nose so small?” and I’m like “What??” and she goes “How does he live with that” and I’m still laughing about it

Lmao at one point she was complaining she had to go to the bathroom and I’m like?? Just go then??? And she looks at me and is like “I don’t want to miss anything!” and the sheer anger in her eyes over the fact she had to admit she was seriously enjoying the movie LMAO

So she ended up missing the entire Rock War™ and literally walked back into the theater just in time for “GO BLOW YOUR DAD, YOU MULLET WEARING ASSHOLE” her face I was dying

I tried to tell her what she missed but she could not comprehend what a rock war was omfg how many times did I have to say ‘they were throwing rocks at each other’?? Too many times.

My mom, reclined back in the chair, sipping her wine, “This is like the most relaxing movie experience I’ve ever had.”

Pictured on screen at this moment: A Child Being Murdered.

“Why did he only buy one of his friends ice cream?”

“Eileen…”

“Does the stuttering kid not realize he needs a plan before taking off to kill It?” “Have you ever met a 12 year old boy?”

asdfg I had finished my margarita by this point and she got mad at me for stealing some of her wine but I was like “We’re heading to Neibolt I NEED this” lmao

Every time there was a very small callback to things in the book, like all the turtles or Bev having the best throw or the Richie dummy in Neibolt I understandably got Very Excited about them and my mom was just like. Can you calm down nerd.

“What if Tim Curry jumped out of that coffin instead?”

“Something tells me his arm is broken”

God when Pennywise unfolded himself out of the refrigerator to freak out Eddie she went “We didn’t need to see that” lmao

“It was real enough for Georgie.” “What is taunting the kid going to accomplish?” lol

Laughed out loud when Richie called Bev ‘Molly Ringwald’ lol

Suspiciously wiped her eyes when she saw Richie was the only one to turn up to Stan’s Bar Mitzvah

ASDFGHJ WHEN EDDIE WAS PAINTING THE ‘V’ ON HIS CAST and they zoomed in on it she let out a heartbroken gasp and was like “Why…why would that girl write loser on his arm” I was dying

“They’re gazebos! They’re bullshit!” “Sweetheart no it’s placebos-” “Mom, he can’t hear you.”

When they were all going back to save Bev and Mike grabbed the gun: “Does he have to escalate like that?”

“….Their friend’s life is in danger.”

“I know but didn’t they use a slingshot in the original??? Who brings a gun to a slingshot fight!”

When Henry started getting possessed, we got a deadpan “Oh no…not a balloon.”

I fully admit to screaming slightly when It was LITERALLY EATING STANLEY’S FACE but she got so judgey @ me because of it??? lol Like mom I’m sorry you apparently have 0% maternal instincts but these kids are STRESSING ME OUT

Not to mention she screamed MOMENTS LATER at the heads floating in the sewer lmao

When Ben kissed Bev: “I’m not sure that was appropriate but awww.”

Was not a fan of Bill shooting Georgie but who was

“Please tell me you never made a blood oath when you were a child.”

She sat through this entire film without ever once absorbing any characters name??? Lmao I was trying to talk about it when it was over and I’d have to be like. “The glasses/gremlin kid. New Kids On The Block Kid. Munchausen Syndrome Mother. Literally the only girl in the movie. Jonathan Brandis played him in the 90′s one.The kid who’s arm was ripped off are you kidding me?” lmao

But overall she went home and called her usual gossips™ to complain that she had actually super enjoyed the movie.

This is literally the first time in over two decades that I’ve seen a movie with this woman and she stayed awake the entire time. That speaks volumes to me lmao

#it 2017 #Stephen king's it #asks #molly mumbles #mom pls #I'm definitely missing a few comments #but it's 5:22 am spare me #lmao

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exrayspex · 6 years

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life update since i've been away recently

i actually feel like blogging again and am awake enough to do so for the first time in weeks! so, updates bc Stuff has happened:

so my dad had been unemployed (again) for a year almost exactly, and every single job he applied for in his career fell through. we think it's bc word has gotten out in the field that he's an asshole and that his alcoholism is starting to effect his work since his body can't metabolize it like it used to + he regularly injured himself while drinking. which still sucks. but he finally got over himself and started applying for jobs outside his field and got one! it's only part time and the pay isn't great (he's a shopper for a grocery shop + delivery service), but it's something! and we really, REALLY fucking needed it. he's still looking for a better job in his field, too.

phoebe bubba had had an ear infection that wouldn't quite go away even with me regularly cleaning it with special ear wash, and we were finally able to get her in to the vet. she had a bacterial ear infection and we got mediated ear drops for her. i gave them to her and poor baby HATED it, but all two weeks of the ear drops are done and i just checked her ear the other night and it's finally all clean and healthy!

COOKIES. i'm love baking, obviously, and wanted to make a shit ton of christmas cookies and try some new recipes. it took me a While to have the energy for it all, but i got around to it and enjoyed it so much and love the results! i made peanut blossoms, soft gingerbread cookies (which i made into lady and nonbinary gingerbread bears bc fuck men, gingerbread and otherwise), and slice-and-bake shortbread cookies w christmas trees in the middle and red-n-green sugar crystals! i freehanded the green triangles for the center and used very careful chilling and setting out to make the tree-shaped core and then put the un-dyed dough around it to make a round log with the trees holding their shape in the middle. very proud of how well i did on those, and without a tutorial or anything!

so we have been p broke lately and were preparing ourselves for a christmas where we just had delicious cookies and made a nice meal to have together in our pretty decorated room w our tree and foregoing any presents except for one to mail to my wee cousin, but! my mom remembered a couple days ago that my dad had lots of points with airline frequent flyer programs that would expire at the end of the year if they weren't used, that he racked up when working his old job. and the rewards programs allows you to use points to get gift cards for all kinds of places! so she did that and got several gift cards that allowed us to get gifts for some other family members, her boss and the woman she cares for, and have some left over to get each other some things! all without spending any actual money :D my dad and i went to target yesterday and used a gift card to shop for my mom, and it was tiring but fun! and i think my mom got me an over-ear gaming headset to replace my old one that is quite literally disintegrating!

so my phone is a galaxy s3 and i've had it for over 4 years, and my parents have the same. they still work, which is impressive actually, but they're very slow, we can only have a few apps at once bc they're so low on storage, lots of newer apps can't be installed on them, they're unable when anything is updating/downloading, my mom's camera is broken, my dad's has issues with receiving calls, all of them just freeze up completely and have to have the battery taken out to work again pretty regularly, etc. but my dad called sprint yesterday to try and negotiate a lower monthly bill/maybe switch plans, since we hadn't changed plans for years either.....and ended up being able to switch to a Better plan AND get us each a galaxy s7 and still have our monthly bill be $30 cheaper!!! apparently our old plan was a fucking ripoff lol, and he got us previously owned, refurbished phones that cost half the price of new ones of the same model. i think it also helps that he said how he'd been with sprint for over a decade but was looking into switching providers if he couldn't get a better plan and spend less lol. one of the gift cards my mom got is for amazon and i'm hoping i can find some decent cases and screen protectors for all three of us with it!

so i started playing neverwinter online last summer, and i've become hooked lol. i'm also in a good lgbt guild and alliance!! i almost quit the game after i hit max level since i couldn't solo most stuff anymore, but the people in it were all so nice and helpful and not judgey about me being still relatively new to mmos in general (i'd played a little bit of lotro, wow, and eso but not much, and i had once been super into fucking wizard101 lol, but that one's very different from most, actually more like magic the gathering than other mmos). anyway, i've started to break into actually being decently good at the game, i'm on nearly every fucking day lol, and i'm pretty involved in like contributing to guild stuff/running dungeons w guild people, and the dude who is the current guild leader is gonna mostly retire from the game in 2018 and asked me if i'd be up for taking over for him then, and i said yes! he's ranked up my permissions to do guild stuff and has been slowly showing me how to do things and what bugs to look out for when doing them, and it's fun and exciting! plus he's still gonna be around on psn and occasionally in-game after he goes, so i'll still be able to ask him for help/advice since i'm definitely not as knowledgeable as him. i've also been talking more in the guild and alliance chat and on mic too, and it's nice! ooh and i recently did some research and a respec on my main and she's now easily doing like 1.5x her previous damage and i've had a couple people be like "wow holy shit" since which like yes.....YES.....fuel my dps ego.....(also just? people in this game/guild generally seem to like me?? it's so unfamiliar and nice!) ((also also i started a tank alt and got her to max level already! and she's super butch and super hot))

our proposed plan of restoration was submitted to the historical neighborhood board thing and approved! and today the third contractor is gonna come over to discuss what work we'd want done on the house and provide an estimate. then my parents just have to do a bit more paperwork and can finish their application for the grant we can get since we're now in an official nationally recognized historical neighborhood! the grants are given in order of application, and there's currently only one ahead of us, so hopefully we can get it early on in 2018 and have that money to do some much-needed repairs on the house! the bird family living in my windowsill will fucking finally have to move lol. no more screeching and scratching right behind my head every morning! it won't be enough money to get every repair we need done, but it will def cover the worst stuff, like that and our rotted porch! also the contractor we're hoping to use is a nice guy who's done work for us before (he fixed our fence when it broke a while ago, my parents have some mutual friends of his, we trust him), and the other day when he was here my sweet hutchie made friends with him :) there were pets and purrs!

OKAY i think that's mostly it lol. thank you for caring if you actually read all of this! :D you are now up to date on the Life of Spex. also if any of you start playing neverwinter and want a guild invite, lemme know! :)

#long post #so sorry how long lol #i just had a lot to say for once!#And couldn't figure out how to put it under a cut so.#phoebe is sleeping on my lap as i type this #a precious old lady baby cat #oh also #christmas #alcoholism #i feel kind weird talking so much about money/my family's financial situation but #It's my blog and that's what's been on my mind so here it is #And my dad won't see it so he can't yell at me for talking about it

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wavemaker9 · 7 years

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im finger gunnin my way into your inbox to ask how /would/ austin's family react to and feel about austin and amelia deciding to try to actually date and be a couple?

Austin’s parents are naturally accepting about the idea. I think if austin told any family ahead of time, it’d probably be them. They kinda, double check with him that the pair really want to try this, but when austin assures them that they talked it over and are comfortable with it, then they’re supportive. Like they do see the the changes between the pair, how they’re getting more along and everything. I mentioned them talking to mel about like. Hey this is the best and happiest we’ve ever seen our son so. June probably double checking with austin about him wanting to do this. Not that she doesn’t like amelia or think she’d be bad for her son at this point, or even that her son would be bad as he is now for her. She’s just, like austin would, considering like “hey do you really 100% want to do this again. It’s nice you’re actually taking it more seriously and responsibly, like actually dating to test the waters but… are you /sure/?” but when he agrees, she smiles and hugs him and lets him know that she hopes they’ll both be happy then. Oliver’s probably excited about the idea of it and austin has to remind him that this isn’t a thing to share yet, they’re not going to make a big deal about it. They talked to each other and they’re not going to hide it but like, dad, /dad/. Austin maybe actually a little worried about it, but not majorly. Considers talking to just his mom about it, but that’d be rude to his dad and he can also just be like, hey, don’t bake something as like a treat thing to celebrate them deciding to go on a date. You already did the bake a lot of treats as a gift thing when we first got married and at the moment that’s still all that’s needed. I just. I picture oliver as the kind of person who gets so excited about this kinda thing he switches to embarrassing parent fast. Even grandparent. The first time he finds out daliah has like a crush that she’s taken a step and invited to a school dance and he comes over with a platter of heart shaped cookies out of the blue, so i heard somebody~ has a cute classmate they’re going on a date with~~~ daliah like, grandpa ollie, i love you, but please can we not? She’s already super embarrassed about this, cmon.

Anyway, long story short, june double/triple checks they’re sure they want to try pursuing this but once she’s convinced they’ve thought this through, happy for them but chill about it after that. Oliver is so excited to hear they’re going to start dating, definitely hears ‘hey don’t make a big deal about this’ but definitely preheats the oven to ‘big deal’ degrees fahrenheit.

It’s kyle that’s kind of the problem. His parents aren’t really a factor. Arthur’s relatively distant from that side of the family. June was summer’s sister, not his. He keeps in contact with kyle like he keeps in contact with alfred and matthew, but outside of extended family get togethers, it’s been a while since austin’s heard from his uncle, though he doesn’t really try very hard to keep in touch. Similar if not more so with summer. He at least kind of got along with his uncle arthur when they’d meet up. He was scared of summer just like kyle, and even his mom would express sometimes that she didn’t exactly want austin spending a lot of time with her. Like again, june and oliver kind of took over watching kyle a lot when they cool because they could tell that kid was not getting the love he deserved. The moment austin didn’t have to talk to summer again, committed to that life 100%. He’ll try to pick seats on teh opposite side of hte time when it’s big family events. So like. Like if summer found out, probably talks shit about it t people, because she legit just loves that manipulative and misery shit. But honestly, outta sight outta mind and most people know by that point summer’s full of shit on most things anyway. I tend to picture like alfred and matthew each moving away shorter after hitting YA age and were older than kyle and austin, so austin also didn’t get close to them and they wouldn’t really hear about it until things got more serious. Maybe a little ??? didn’t you two just split up? About it but it hardly affects them so i think they don’t care that much either.

Kyle’s still closely connected to austin and his family and would see a lot of it and he would be the most critical. Because yeah, sure, austin turned out to be a pretty okay dad despite all odds and he’s definitely not the cunt he was when they were younger (you can talk, kyle), but like him still not trusting this because he doesn’t see austin as the type to actually like. Know how to do love (the way kyle expects it to be done) so why are you going to start dating someone who you already had a failed relay with. Kyle is a fucking. He’s an asshole about these things. Again, he sees a relay as failed if it breaks up/splits, even if it ends up being for a good reason or even if you can get back together with the person. Also again, if you don’t do a thing the way he expects, you’re not doing it right and thus you’re not actually doing it. And finally, kyle likes austin he does, especially now. If it came down to it seriously, he’d pick austin over mel because that’s family. But on the other hand mel’s like a best friend of his and austin’s still kind of a dick (YOU CAN TALK, KYLE) and mel didn’t deserve dealing with him before let alone now after finally moving past it. He doesn’t want to see either of them miserable again, but him expecting mel would handle it harder than austin would (because austin’s an emotionless asshole blah blah blah. Kyle’s a dick, where’s my kyle being a dick tag?). I could see kyle trying to talk some sense into mel about this and her kind of making him step back into his place. Hey kyle guess what? Wild concept, you don’t get to tell me who i should or shouldn’t date. You don’t get to tell me i deserve better or worse than a person i’m interested in. you don’t get to tell me shit. (Also like kyle whines a lot about how family is supposed to stand by family no matter what but austin’s the exception to that a lot because kyle’s so judgey of him.) I just really love the idea of kyle thinking he’s going to help mel come to her senses and save her from a romantic relationship with austin and her just Informing him this isn’t your place to get involved so accept our choices as two adults who are also older and more experience than you, or fucking step, my dude. Him doing the angry thing of like ‘fine don’t come crying to me when your relationship’s fucked up again’ but then another case where hey look at that it all turned out fine. Like tbf kyle before when you got on austin’s case about dal, yeah, yeah, you kinda had a good reason to be worried back then, but you gotta chill out now, cmon, kyle.

#sorbetshark #did i have an ask tag #ignore this #the thief kid #the suit kid #amusing muse musings #hey you au #au nt family edition

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