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wehatejulietsimms · 3 years

Note

This is an Andy appreciation post. I’m re-listening to Vale because I never understood.

It has much religious imagery but it’s *more* than just metaphors and analogies.

There’s four views I’ve understood finally and maybe more.

I will not mention anything of the specifics BVB is fighting against in Vale because like I said, this is an appreciation post and I don’t want to bring up anything negative if I don’t have to make it a point. If anyone wants me to go further into detail about what specifically I feel is going on, just ask because my gut has a keen reception on lyrics and events.

1. Religious persecution:

To the unawakened folks or the ones that progressively sin in the name of God.

Fighting for equality that when people fuck up, it isn’t the death of them. Just the death of an ego and awakening into more self compassion.

2. Talking to the fans that are blind to reality

In many songs off Vale, Andy always talks about preaching but never fully being heard from the blind and innocent. He’s tired but he will keep fighting, because he wants to make an active change to the community in a way he can but feels weak from time to time, yet never giving up!

3. Ashley

When Ashley was outed publicly, Andy never dedicated this song to him but posted the lyrics with no caption when Ashley was accused. Throw the first stone.

4. Letter to self: acknowledging this is an end of a cycle. Hint: the album name and song lyrics.

Our Destiny is a big one. It’s not just a rock love song about trying to save a destiny between two people. It’s saving himself from his past “sins” “fuckups” and saying it’s not too late to heal, which it’s never too hate to heal from the past and present. I feel like it’s “hey, I’m going into ashes now but I’ve already made amends with it and I’ll rise again and again, however many times to make it out of mental and physical surroundings.” Also, I feel it was referencing Lost it All in a way, like most of his songs do, it’s a personal and universal message that there’s so much shit in life that will knock you down and you will heal while STILL in a hurt place physically. I really want to appreciate that truth that there’s a lot of healing that still is in the midst of pain. (Props to you, Andy!) Many abusive childhoods can resonate with that as well as being stuck in relationships/friendships/or generational curses including being in debt. (Which he mentions a lot in interviews) I really do think he’s gonna get out because he’s such a wise soul and nobody gives him props to healing, and being such a mature wise man even though he’s not at his highest or best surroundings. I mean, I don’t know any other artist that’s stuck in a shitty situation and is still uplifting, real, and promotes healing and is why so many BVB army members resonate with the music. I really respect he says that people heal themselves but use his music as a resonating device to heal, when fans say he’s their hero.

Andy has overcome addictions, has had to protect his life many times, has written so much uplifting and real wisdom from a dark place of mind or just straight up otherworldly strength and vulnerability which I admire because it’s beautiful and real, doesn’t have many real helpful people around him, has been a real role model by himself, is overcoming shame and lies & generation healing, he’s really had to rely on himself and I’m glad his band members really allow him to take control of the lyrics in such an inspiring way. Even though he’s still dealing and people pleasing to toxic people, remember everyone, people in abusive relationships and are trapped have to people please in order to stay alive and not get harmed. Many don’t understand that if they’ve never been abused. (They don’t need to understand, Andy! We see it) His perseverance is real and don’t judge someone for figuring out their own life. Sometimes freedom comes from music (even though other aspects from the rock industry contradict it). Let’s be supportive of him right now because he’s branching off into a new territory and finding out what’s working for him SAFELY. Yes, I don’t agree with a lot of what he says in his insecure moments in interviews and lies in his book/irl (gotta remember that’s a trauma brain response), but his music speaks in a way that is truth and can help many people going through many things and express it in a healthy way. Also I believe many fans live in denial about his life due to the fact that they’re probably living through it in their own life and can’t recognize it in another person. Or are attracted to his light but want nothing to do to help keep it alive as in tearing him down (secret haters). Anyways, I respect him for going above and beyond and it’s really admirable because like I said, nobody in the industry has ever done what he’s done. His art is perseverance.

5. He’s been a role model for so many hurting depressed people because they resonate to his own story and his strength is a catalyst for their own strength. I dislike when people deny he’s been living in trauma and overcoming many times in his life because that’s literally what this band was formed into. There’s so much evidence in his life and in the music. He’s had to take on a role for his (hurt & healing) self and it naturally became a safe space for BVB army to interact and resonate with him. He had to do that at 18/19 and if anyone’s that age or older, you know that age is just a child. I applaud him for being that young while having no parental guidance while creating something beautiful and divine, though I do empathize for his inner child. His albums are art that are darker, not evil, and is a place where children/adults who were rejected in any form can find solace in their own mind and thus can create healing. His words are moving and you have to applaud the man for keeping it together when people of all directions were hating on his every move and it was because he has such a big heart and everyone around him wants to keep him caged out of selfishness. Even when he had meltdowns and (not saying he couldn’t also be toxic because everyone has the capacity but meltdowns get overlooked because it’s a spur of the moment thing and everyone thinks it’s a violent episode but it’s due to triggers as well as not being sober) still wanted to show up for everyone including his own self that he knows himself to be, that he didn’t want to let rot. He’s really a strong soul and it gets overlooked a lot. He’s striving for betterment of himself for more than a decade (with so much persecution even in his own circle) and people keep wishing that “I hope he gets out” and this is how he’s helping himself for the moment until he can actually get out. So again, props to him. We’re proud of you, Andy! Keep going! We believe in you. Keep taking care of your overall being. Thanks for believing in us all of these years. Some of us even made it out of the hurt place we were in and are living happy, peaceful, healthy lives after trauma.

^^i literally almost teared up reading this. this is exactly why i love him so much (& what made me fall in love with him/BVB in the first place) you said everything perfectly. i honestly wish i could pin posts on here bc i really want this to be the first thing people read on the blog. as much as people think this blog is supposed to be outright hateful, (although it contradicts the name of the blog lol) i can assure you it's not. as fans we want the best for our favorite artists and when an artist has helped/continued to help you and so many other people out of dark places it sucks to see that through that they can't help themselves. i just want the best for him and for him to be 100% happy again. that's the purpose of this blog.

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p3ach3snplums · 3 years

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ＹｏｕＷｉｌｌＢｅＦｏｕｎｄ

Listen ( x )

@scorpiusmmalfoy

1.- ʏᴏᴜ ᴡɪʟʟ ʙᴇ ꜰᴏᴜɴᴅ ʙʏ ᴅᴇᴀʀ ᴇᴠᴀɴ ʜᴀɴꜱᴇɴ ᴏʙᴄ

Have you ever felt like nobody was there? Have you ever felt forgotten in the middle of nowhere? Have you ever felt like you could disappear? Like you could fall, and no one would hear? Well, let that lonely feeling wash away Maybe there's a reason to believe you'll be okay 'Cause when you don't feel strong enough to stand You can reach, reach out your hand And oh, someone will coming running And I know, they'll take you home Even when the dark comes crashing through When you need a friend to carry you And when you're broken on the ground You will be found So let the sun come streaming in 'Cause you'll reach up and you'll rise again Lift your head and look around You will be found You will be found You will be found You will be found You will be found There's a place where we don't have to feel unknown (Oh my god, everybody needs to see this) And every time that you call out You're a little less alone (I can't stop watching this video, seventeen years old) If you only say the word (Take five minutes, this will make your day) From across the silence your voice is heard

2.- ꜱᴏ ᴡɪʟʟ ɪ ʙʏ ʙᴇɴ ᴘʟᴀᴛᴛ

You say, "What if I go crazy?" I say, "That ain't gonna happen" You say, "What if I get lost? I say, "You'll just find your way back" And you say, "What if someone breaks my heart?" I'll put it back together like I do You say, "What if I don't catch the dreams That I've been out there chasing?" "What if when my fears show up, I'm too afraid to face them?" Well, I can't fight your battles But I sure can hold your hand and promise you That the sky will still be up there And the sun will always shine The stars will keep on fallin' For the ones who wish at night The mountains won't start moving And the rivers won't run dry The world will always be there And so will I

3.- ꜰᴀᴄᴇ ᴛᴏᴡᴀʀᴅꜱ ᴛʜᴇ ꜱᴜɴ ʙʏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴀɪɴᴇ

Yeah, in the end timе will find us all Dressed in our best One last deep breath As we turn towards the sun Towards the sun.... Yeah, I just hope you felt no pain at all No pain at all I just hope you felt no pain at all No pain at all As you turn towards the sun Towards the sun

4.- ʏᴏᴜ ꜰᴏᴜɴᴅ ᴍᴇ ʙʏ ᴛʜᴇ ꜰʀᴀʏ

Lost and insecure You found me, you found me Lyin' on the floor Surrounded, surrounded Why'd you have to wait? Where were you? Where were you? Just a little late You found me, you found me

5.- ꜱʜᴀᴋᴇ ɪᴛ ᴏꜰꜰ ʙʏ ᴛᴀʏʟᴏʀ ꜱᴡɪꜰᴛ

But I keep cruising Can't stop, won't stop moving It's like I got this music in my mind Saying it's gonna be alright 'Cause the players gonna play, play, play, play, play And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate Baby, I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake I shake it off, I shake it off (Whoo-hoo-hoo) Heartbreakers gonna break, break, break, break, break And the fakers gonna fake, fake, fake, fake, fake Baby, I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake I shake it off, I shake it off (Whoo-hoo-hoo)

6.- ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ ᴏɴ ᴍᴇ ʙʏ ʙʀᴜɴᴏ ᴍᴀʀꜱ

We'll find out what we're made of When we are called to help our friends in need You can count on me like one, two, three I'll be there And I know when I need it, I can count on you like four, three, two And you'll be there 'Cause that's what friends are supposed to do, oh, yeah Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh, yeah, yeah

7.-ᴏɴᴇ ᴄᴀʟʟ ᴀᴡᴀʏ ʙʏ ᴄʜᴀʀʟɪᴇ ᴘᴜᴛʜ

I'm only one call away I'll be there to save the day Superman got nothing on me I'm only one call away Call me, baby, if you need a friend I just wanna give you love C'mon, c'mon, c'mon Reaching out to you, so take a chance No matter where you go, know you're not alone I'm only one call away

8.-ᴛʀᴜᴇ ᴄᴏʟᴏʀꜱ ʙʏ ᴄʏɴᴅɪ ʟᴀᴜᴘᴇʀ

You with the sad eyes Don't be discouraged Oh I realize It's hard to take courage In a world full of people You can lose sight of it all And the darkness inside you Can make you feel so small But I see your true colors Shining through I see your true colors And that's why I love you So don't be afraid to let them show Your true colors True colors are beautiful Like a rainbow

9.-ɪ´ʟʟ ʀᴇᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀ ʙʏ ɢʟᴇᴇ ᴄᴀꜱᴛ

And I'll remember The strength that you gave me Now that I'm standing on my own I'll remember The way that you saved me I'll remember Inside I was a child That could not mend a broken wing Outside I looked for a way To teach my heart to sing And I'll remember The love that you gave me Now that I'm standing on my own I'll remember The way that you changed me I'll remember

10.-ᴡʜᴏ ꜱᴀʏꜱ ʙʏ ꜱᴇʟᴇɴᴀ ɢᴏᴍᴇᴢ

Who says, who says you're not perfect? Who says you're not worth it? Who says you're the only one that's hurting? Trust me, that's the price of beauty Who says you're not pretty? Who says you're not beautiful? Who says?

11.-ʙʀᴀᴠᴇ ʙʏ ꜱᴀʀᴀ ʙᴀʀᴇɪʟʟᴇꜱ

You can be amazing You can turn a phrase into a weapon or a drug You can be the outcast Or be the backlash of somebody's lack of love Or you can start speaking up Nothing's gonna hurt you the way that words do When they settle 'neath your skin Kept on the inside and no sunlight Sometimes a shadow wins But I wonder what would happen if you Say what you wanna say And let the words fall out Honestly I wanna see you be braveWith what you want to say And let the words fall out Honestly I wanna see you be brave

12.-ʜᴏᴘᴇ ᴜʀ ᴏᴋ ʙʏ ᴏʟɪᴠɪᴀ ʀᴏᴅʀɪɢᴏ

Does she know how proud I am she was created With the courage to unlearn all of their hatred We don't talk much but I just gotta say "I miss you, and I hope that you're okay"

13.-ɢɪʀʟꜱ ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ᴡᴀɴɴᴀ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ꜰᴜɴ ʙʏ ᴄʏɴᴅɪ ʟᴀᴜᴘᴇʀ

Oh daddy dear, you know you're still number one But girls they wanna have fun Oh girls just wanna have That's all they really want Some fun When the workin' day is done Oh girls, they wanna have fun Ho hoo girls just wanna have (girls) fun (they want) (Wanna have fun) (Girls) (Wanna have)

14.-ᴏɴ ᴏᴜʀ ᴡᴀʏ ʙʏ ɢʟᴇᴇ ᴄᴀꜱᴛ

We are young We are one Let us shine for what it's worth To your place, place, place We're on our way, way, way We're on our way, way, way We're on our way somehow Hold me close, close, close We're losing time, time, time We're losing time, time, time We're falling to the ground

15.-ᴄᴀꜱᴛʟᴇ ᴏɴ ᴀ ʜɪʟʟ ʙʏ ᴇᴅ ꜱʜᴇᴇʀᴀɴ

Found my heart and broke it here Made friends and lost them through the years And I've not seen the roaring fields in so long I know I've grown, but I can't wait to go home I'm on my way Driving at 90 down those country lanes Singing to Tiny Dancer And I miss the way you make me feel, and it's real When we watched the sunset over the castle on the hill

16.-ɪᴍᴀɢɪɴᴇ ʙʏ ʙᴇɴ ᴘʟᴀᴛᴛ

Yeah, you say I'm your hero But you are the one that saved me If I ever lost you I'd fall to my knees I can't imagine my life without you I can't imagine one night without you If something happened, don't know what I'd do I can't imagine, I can't imagine my life without you

17.-ᴛɪᴍᴇ ᴀꜰᴛᴇʀ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ʙʏ ᴄʏɴᴅɪ ʟᴀᴜᴘᴇʀ

If you're lost you can look and you will find me Time after time If you fall, I will catch you, I'll be waiting Time after time If you're lost, you can look and you will find me Time after time If you fall, I will catch you, I will be waiting Time after time

18.-ᴅᴏɢ ᴅᴀʏꜱ ᴀʀᴇ ᴏᴠᴇʀ ʙʏ ꜰʟᴏʀᴇɴᴄᴇ + ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴀᴄʜɪɴᴇ

The dog days are over The dog days are done The horses are coming so you better run Run fast for your mother run fast for your father Run for your children for your sisters and brothers Leave all your love and your longing behind you Can't carry it with you if you want to survive

19.-ʟᴇᴀɴ ᴏɴ ᴍᴇ ʙʏ ɢʟᴇᴇ ᴄᴀꜱᴛ

Lean on me, when you're not strong And I'll be your friend I'll help you carry on For it won't be long 'Til I'm gonna need Somebody to lean on

20.-ᴍʏ ᴅᴀʀᴋꜱɪᴅᴇ ʙʏ ɢʟᴇᴇ ᴄᴀꜱᴛ

Everybody's got a dark side Do you love me? Can you love mine? Nobody's a picture perfect But we're worth it You know that we're worth it Will you love me? Even with my dark side?

21.-ᴍᴀꜱ ᴏꜱᴄᴜʀᴏ ʙʏ ʟɪᴋᴇ

Te sientes mal, no ves final Con los ojos llenos de lágrimas Se cae el cielo y no das más Quieres luchar un poco más Pero ese miedo volvió a ganar Tranquila, ahí voy a estar Tan solo llama, no escondas nada Confía en mí A cualquier hora, nunca estás sola Me tienes a mí En tu momento más oscuro Si algo te duele, yo te curo No te preocupes, yo te ayudo Te ayudo, no hay que sufrir En tu momento más oscuro Y aunque el abismo sea profundo No te preocupes yo te ayudo Te ayudo a salir de ahí No te preocupes yo te ayudo (te ayudo) Baby no estés triste Tienes quien te cuide Nadie te vuelve a dañar (Nadie te vuelve a dañar) Tú me sostuviste, y me defendiste También de mi oscuridad

22.-22 ʙʏ ᴛᴀʏʟᴏʀ ꜱᴡɪꜰᴛ

It feels like a perfect night To dress up like hipsters And make fun of our exes Ah-ah, ah-ah It feels like a perfect night For breakfast at midnight To fall in love with strangers Ah-ah, ah-ah Yeah, we're happy, free, confused and lonely at the same time It's miserable and magical, oh yeah Tonight's the night when we forget about the deadlines It's time, oh-ohI don't know about you But I'm feeling 22 Everything will be alright if You keep me next to you You don't know about me But I'll bet you want to Everything will be alright if We just keep dancing like we're 22, 22

23.-ꜱᴇᴠᴇɴ ʙʏ ᴛᴀʏʟᴏʀ ꜱᴡɪꜰᴛ

Sweet tea in the summer Cross your heart, won't tell no other And though I can't recall your face I still got love for you Your braids like a pattern Love you to the moon and to Saturn Passed down like folk songs The love lasts so long

24.-ᴡᴇɪʀᴅ! ʙʏ ʏᴜɴɢʙʟᴜᴅ

Come hold my hand Hold it tight We're in a weird time of life Don't wreck your brain It'll be alright We're in a weird time of life

#♪you will be found |andy bebe #FELIZ CUMPLEAÑOS BEBE #QUE CREIAS QUE NO IBA A DARTE UNA PLAYLIST? HAHAHAH

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mrsrcbinscn · 4 years

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Franny Robinson HC Infodump #7: More Music Stuff

tw: mentions of psychedelic use (it’s clear it is in moderation but)

Cover Contributions To Tribute or Charity Albums (and other notable covers):

King of the Road: A Tribute to Roger Miller - Franny recorded a cover of The Moon Is High (And So Am I) for the album. There’s a really cute video uploaded on her YouTube channel of her recording the song and she’s playing acoustic guitar and dancing around in place as she sings in several takes. It’s one of the few internet videos where her husband is seen, because sometimes the camera pans to the sound engineer booth when he’s sitting next to Serghei, her go-to sound guy.

She participated on the charity album BBC Children In Need: Got It Covered, since England’s been her home from nearly twenty years now. She sang a slowed down, gentler version of Pat Benatar’s Shadows Of The Night. (inspired by that being a song I vividly remember my mom singing to my siblings and I lmao)

For the album The Music Is You: A John Denver Tribute, Franny sang Rhymes and Reasons.

On a John Prine tribute album released in 2017, Franny and the other half of the duo Dara & Danny, Daniel Maitland, recorded In Spite Of Ourselves for the album.

For a Connie Francis tribute album, Franny sang Where The Boys Are

Franny, along with black country singer Erica James, curated a Charley Pride tribute album, featuring solely country or country-adjacent singers of color. “Charley Pride, when I discovered a black country artist, as an Asian-American growing up in the 80s, that was amazing to me. Because little Cambodian me was like, ‘wow, so you don’t gotta look like Dolly or Willie to love this music.’ Everyone thinks country and bluegrass music is white people shit, but it ain’t. It was always a mix of folks influencin’ it. DeFord Bailey paved the way for Charley Pride, who paved the way for Darius Rucker, who paved the way for Jimmie Allen, Willie Jones, Mickey Guyton, Erica right here, and non-black POC like myself and Dan(iel Maitland). It was such an honor to get to curate this album with Erica. Amazing.” Franny recorded Does My Ring Hurt Your Finger for the album.

On the Tracy Lawrence tribute album Good Ole Days, she recorded As Any Fool Can See with him

She was featured on Brooks & Dunn’s Reboot, recording She’s Not The Cheatin’ Kind

During a SiriusXM session, she sang Gretchen Wilson’s When I Think About Cheatin’, and the performance w/ent viral

On a Leonard Cohen tribute album, she recorded A Thousand Kisses Deep and that cover also became popular

During a Spotify Sessions recording with Seoul Hanoi’d, Franny recorded a cover of Marcy Playground’s Sex & Candy, which also blew up, prompting Seoul Hanoi’d to officially release it on their 2018 album. It was the second of five singles off of the album, and Franny in the music video was Hot ™

During a Spotify Sessions recording as a solo artist, Franny recorded a cover of Kris Kristofferson’s From The Bottle To The Bottom

Khmer Music:

Franny, for the most part, does not record or perform pop music. However, she’s collaborated on tracks with Cambodian pop singers

She writes a lot of songs used in the soundtracks of Khmer tv dramas, and sings a lot of them as well

She’s known as The Soundtrack Queen in Cambodia

In addition to a lot of songs for film and tv, she’s released three albums entirely in Khmer. A jazz album comprised of original songs and Khmer language versions of classic jazz songs; and two in the indie/alternative style of music similar to Seoul Hanoi’d

And she’s recorded Khmer versions of several of her most famous songs

With other Cambodian diaspora musicians, she regularly collaborates on special covers of iconic Khmer 60s and 70s songs

Songwriting

Franny’s even more active as a songwriter than a recording artist. She’s got over 1,000 songwriting credits to her name.

She began writing songs “when I was 11, but they were atrocious, unsalvageable things. The first song I wrote that ever saw the light of day even after heavy edits was first thought up when I was thirteen.”

Franny is openly bisexual and explores that in her songwriting-- however, most of her songs about women or her sexuality that she wrote “pre-2009-ish” she’s scrapped or sold to other artists. Why? “Look, I’ve been married to my husband for almost twenty years now. And that doesn’t make me any less bisexual. But a lot of the songs I’ve written about women are from the perspective of a thirteen through twenty year old me, and at forty, I’m not the best narrator for those stories anymore.They are my lived experiences and my lived feelings, but I want to see how someone actually going through that will take it and interpret it. The songs I write about women loving women now are about characters I make up for the purpose of storytelling so they’re about women closer to my age, it’s about big girl love, not adolescent love.”

Common themes in Franny Sor Robinson songwriting: geography, vivid imagery like she’s showing you a picture of what she’s singing about, Buddhist themes, Christrianity (she’s a Buddhist but grew up in the Bible Belt so she’s very familiar with Christian themes), alliteration

Franny came under a degree of controversy in 2014 with the release of a song called “The Sabbath” because it was a tasteful song about how much she likes sex with her husband after they’ve been apart for a while, and Franny was like “you know you’d think the pearl-clutchin’ folks would be glad I practically worship my husband, but I forgot women ain’t supposed to actually enjoy sex.”

She's written another really sweet song about making love with her husband that did Not get hate because it was Acceptable TM and pretty romantic actually. Think along the lines of Josh Turner's Your Man or Dierks Bentley's Come A Little Closer. Songs deff about how they wanna get down but sweet.

After Franny retweet a clip of that Tyler Childers song in 2019 with the caption “big relate”, she was asked in a tweet if a follow up to The Sabbath was in the cards. Franny replied with “there’s a demo recorded for a song I wrote about six years back and that’s that on that.” Yes, Franny Sor Robinson indeed has written a song about masturbation. She’s performed the song live a few times, however, it is still unreleased officially

Franny’s written songs with lyrics alluding to her family’s experiences under the Khmer Rouge and escaping and resettling around the world, she cleverly hides them among her albums so people accidentally digest some education

Cornelius is the well-documented muse for “every love song I’ve written that I don’t specify in the album notes or an interview is written about a character. My husband is the love of my life and had given me twenty years and counting of great material to write about.”,

Franny’s been on both ends of this story. In 2019, a song Franny wrote but didn’t record became a smash pop hit after she and her producer sent it around to other producers. They recorded Franny’s demo in mid-2017 and they and the bigger pop producer that worked on the song with them listened to over 20 demos of the song until they found the right person to sing it.

And in 2013, Franny got a huge boost to her fame when she was the featured vocalist on a pop song that became a global smash hit. Franny doesn’t typically do like...super top 40 pop type music, but she liked the song so when her agent suggested she record a demo for it and send it back to the producer looking, she was like “sure, okay” and then was absolutely surprised that they chose her over some of the names she knew also recorded demos for the song.

Misc. Music facts

In 2019, a group of NYU students (where she did her undergrad) made a Franny Sor Robinson tribute album project; the majority of the students were Asian students in the university’s music programs who cite her as a big inspiration for them pursuing music. She 100% cried

For the Netflix show Just Trust Me that she co executive-produces, Franny is also one of the people who soundtrack the show

In 2020, to celebrate the 10 Year Anniversary of her biggest solo album’s release, she pulled a The Story And Cover Stories (we stan Brandi Carlile) where it was re-released along with cover versions of each song by other artists including some of Franny’s biggest living musical influences. All proceeds for the album were donated to Cambodian Living Arts.

Franny has openly admitted in interviews to using mushrooms, LSD, and DMT before in songwriting sessions. Her stance is Kacey Musgraves’ stance. Franny quote from 2019, “Used responsibly, I think psychedelics are a worthwhile experience to have. But safety and education are key. I truly don’t believe they are party drugs. Psychedelics aren’t a party, they’re a deeply spiritual and philosophical journey.”

#&&...hc #i should have slept but it is 6:15 am and here i am

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asterythm · 5 years

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A is for Amour || Prince of Your Dreams (7)

Pairings: Slow burn Logicality, eventual Prinxiety Word Count: 3.9k Chapter Summary: "Once upon a time in a far-off kingdom, there lay a small village at the edge of the woods..." So the story begins, as Roman’s heard repeated hundreds of times before. But every fairy tale must have its villain -- now, who could that possibly be? Chapter Warnings: emotionally abusive/manipulative character originally inspired by Deceit, gaslighting, food mention

<< First Chapter || < Previous Chapter || Read this chapter on AO3

***

Auburn.

That was the colour of Roman Foley’s hair, a lovely kind of cross between red and brown and gold and all the other warm and fiery tones in between. It was already quite a handsome colour during the daytime, but right now it looked positively gorgeous (a fact that certainly hadn’t escaped Roman’s notice). The warm light cascading downwards from the street lamp above Roman’s head gave the impression that there was a fiery halo of sorts framing his face, illuminating his features with an almost otherworldly glow.

But of course, he wasn’t just standing around for the sake of looking good; he’d just wanted to be able to see his friends’ faces as he talked to them. Though it was biting cold out and Roman knew that he had a limited amount of time before he had to head to rehearsals, it was only a couple of minutes extra that Roman wanted to spend chatting — surely that would be okay.

Besides, Roman’s best friend Kai Brenton was in the middle of the funniest story, and Roman didn’t want to leave without finding out how it ended.

“…so then I told her, that’s not a weasel, that’s my sister!” finished Kai, a wide grin on his face. Roman laughed again, loudly.

Not all of them found the punchline quite so amusing, though. On the other side of Roman, another of his friends spoke up between sips of green tea. “Uh, pause, pause, pause — you have a sister? How come you never told us about her?” Remy Somnus asked.

“What? What made you think I had a sister?”

“That was the whole point of the joke, Rem,” said Elliot, elbowing his fraternal twin in the ribs. “Come on, were you even listening at all?”

Remy scoffed as he drained the last dregs of tea from his plastic Starbucks cup. “Okay, whatever, my bad. You know I love you, Brenton babe, but I had more important things on my mind.” He took careful aim before throwing the cup in a graceful arc through the air. It landed in the snow next to the trash can he’d been shooting for. “Dang.”

“Yeah, it’s chill. You know I don’t really care.” Kai gave his sassy friend first a shrug, then a punch on the shoulder.

“Ow! Hey, you just said you don’t care!” protested Remy. Rubbing at his sore shoulder, he looked between Elliot and Kai. “What’s with all the violence today?”

“I meant that I don’t care about you not listening; littering is a whole ‘nother story. Pick up your trash, moron. Mother Nature works hard to protect us. You’d probably have better aim if you weren’t wearing those sunglasses all the time, by the way.”

Remy did as he was told, jogging over to grab the cup… but not without protest. “Okay, seriously? Is no one gonna, like, ask me about what I was talking about just now?” Roman’s ever-sassy friend loudly complained over his shoulder in a mock-annoyed tone of voice. “Like, with the whole more important things on my mind thing? I’m gonna be honest, I’m feeling a little unappreciated here.” Remy bent down to pick up the plastic cup, tossed it into the bin, and made his way back to the group. “But, you know, any of you could speak up right now. And make me feel not unappreciated. It would be, like super easy to satisfy the curiosity that’s probably… burning inside of you right now. You just have to ask.”

A pause.

“Oh my gosh, do I have to spell it out for you guys? Why do I even try? I don’t even know why I try. Seriously, all you’ve gotta do is say —”

Fondly grinning, Roman interrupted his friend. “Hey, Remy, what were you talking about just now with the whole more important things on your mind thing?”

“Aha — there we go, thank you!” Remy glared at Elliot and Kai. “See, guys, this is why Roman is, like, a hundred times better than all of you combined.”

Out of the corner of his mouth, Roman mumbled, “Sometimes I feel like you’re even more dramatic than I am, Remy.”

“No way anyone could ever be more dramatic than you, hun,” quietly shot back Remy before he cleared his throat to address all three of them. “I’m so glad you asked. See, the thing is, you ladies have all been acting real stressed out lately, about school or work or home stuff or whatever, and TBH it’s really stressing me out too. You know we can’t have that. Stress makes you wrinkle up. So I took it upon myself to head down to my favourite club, the good ol’ Lemon Lime Loophole, and I rented out a private karaoke room for us four.“ As Remy spoke, Roman watched both Kai and Elliot perk up with delight. Remy continued, “Just a fun night out to relax and unwind. Dear Britney Spears knows it’s been too long since our last karaoke night, and you all obviously really need it.”

“Hang on, did you actually?” exclaimed Elliot, eyes gleaming.

“Remy, that’s perfect!” Next to him, Kai bounced gleefully up and down. “Aah, this is gonna be so much fun!”

“I know, I know, I’m the best. Say thank you, Remy…”

“Thank you, Remy!” Kai and Elliot chorused like little children, almost in perfect unison with each other, before returning to their enthusiastic babbling, faster and louder until they were almost tripping over every word before flying to the next.

Roman, in the meantime, said nothing at all.

But none of his friends noticed Roman’s uncharacteristic silence: Kai and Elliot were already enthusiastically working out a list of songs they wanted to get through before the end of the evening, and Remy was busy soaking in the praise, obviously pleased with himself and the positive response to his brilliant idea.

After preening for another moment or two, Remy said, “Come on, let’s hurry. We’ve got twenty minutes to get there or they’ll give away our reservation to someone else. I’ll drive, cool?”

That was when Roman finally spoke up. “Guys…” he began. “I’d love to come along — really, I would. But I have a rehearsal today, remember? For Into the Woods . You didn’t forget, did you?” He was dismayed to see the joy in his three friends’ faces immediately fizzle out.

“…Well, damn,” mumbled an uncharacteristically spiritless Remy at last. “I did forget. Sorry, Roman.”

(Yeah, thought Roman — though of course he didn’t say anything out loud — I kind of figured as much.)

“Maybe — maybe we can reschedule!” It was Kai this time, trying (and failing) to hide his disappointment. “We’ll find another time when we can all go together.”

“Wait, what? No! No, that’s not what I’m saying at all!” Roman spluttered in surprise. “No, you guys can totally go ahead. Don’t let me stop you! I mean, yes, I wish I could be there with you, but just because I’m not coming doesn’t mean you have to give up on this, too.”

“But… I don’t want you to feel bad about missing out.”

“Honestly, it would just make me feel way worse if I knew that you skipped out on your karaoke night just to make me feel better.”

Elliot hesitated. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, positive!” Roman said, much more confidently than he felt. He forced a smile. Showing any kind of weakness or doubt was out of the question; he had to convince Remy, Elliot and Kai that it really was okay for them to go ahead without him, and the only way he was sure he could convince them was by convincing himself of the same thing. It was undeniably easy to tell how much his friends wanted to do this. Roman was determined not to let his own scheduling conflict stop them. “Go on, go have fun. Just promise me you’ll do something from Hamilton for me, okay?”

“...Okay,” Kai finally agreed after a long pause. “Thanks, Roman.”

“And Remy has to be Peggy.”

“Hey — what? Hell no!”

“Relax, Rem, I was kidding! Agh! Don’t hurt me!”

***

“I must have her —”

Prince Charming paused dramatically, taking a deep breath before raising his chin and hardening his features into a resolute mask —

“— to wife…“

Holding the ending note (a high one, for sure, but nothing that he couldn’t handle), Prince Charming stood from the painted drama box he’d been sitting on and crossed the stage to meet up with the Other Prince. One strong and rich, the other clear and sweet, their voices together formed a beautiful blend to fill every square inch of previously empty space in the rehearsal room.

Prince Charming made eye contact with his scene partner a beat before the music cut off. He grinned. The Other Prince grinned back.

A second of silence.

And then the scene was over, and Prince Charming was Roman and the Other Prince was Kyle again, and the silence was broken by the sound of sparse applause from a handful of the other cast members who had been watching the duet play out. It wasn’t the first time that they had gone through the song without any mistakes or silly little slip-ups, but it was the first time that the entire scene had gone off without a hitch. Both Princes had followed their blocking to a T and not once had either of them needed to call for line. The scene had come together perfectly, and both of them knew it.

So, apparently, did his director, Adri. Satisfaction was clear to be seen on her glowing face as she joined in on the scattered applause. “Excellent work, Roman, Kyle! You’ve still got to pay attention to your volume and make sure you’re not pushing the tempo of the song too much, but otherwise, that was flawless. Keep up the good work.” She turned to address the rest of the room. “Alright, folks, that’s the last of our scene-by-scene work for the day. Make sure you’re drinking plenty of water. We’ll take five and then run the show from the top, so you’re all going to want to be well-hydrated.”

The room leapt to life the second she finished speaking. Roman and Kyle shared a quick high-five before making their way offstage, chatting all the way.

“Awesome job, Roman!” said Kyle encouragingly.

“Oh, thank you so much! Right back at you, of course. This scene is going to turn out marvellously, I can just feel it.”

Kyle nodded, cheerful. “Well, I could go for a cup of coffee. Want anything?”

“Coffee?” Roman raised his eyebrows. "At half past nine? Kyle, it’s been dark out for at least two hours already. How do you expect to get any sleep tonight if you drink coffee now?”

“Ehh… I guess you’re right. Maybe I’ll just get bubble tea or something instead.”

“Boba’s good.” Roman said with a nod. “Just make sure you’re back before break’s over or Adri might bite your head off.”

“Heh, yeah — wait, you’re not coming with?”

“No, I think I’ll hang back. Go over the script a few more times before we start, you know? And maybe get some notes from Adri while I’m at it.”

“Gotcha. No worries. See you soon, man.” Kyle grabbed his coat and stepped out with a wave goodbye. Roman wandered over to his backpack to grab a drink of water. Then, he pulled out a granola bar and, munching on the healthy snack, he began flipping through the pages of his script. He was checking for any issues, anything that might get in the way of a flawless performance (he would settle for nothing less), making sure he hadn’t forgotten any of the blocking or any lines since the last time they’d run the show all the way. As expected, though, Roman’s careful search turned out to be unnecessary.

Which was great, except now he had nothing to do; he’d realized only after getting to rehearsal that he’d left his laptop at home by accident, meaning he couldn’t spend his break finishing up any schoolwork like he would typically do. Roman reached for his bag, put away his script. Without anything to keep him busy, it wasn’t long before his mind began freely wandering. His imagination took him anywhere and everywhere and nowhere in particular all at once — then suddenly made a crash landing somewhere familiar: a private karaoke room within the walls of the Lemon Lime Loophole night club.

Roman still couldn’t help but feel guilty for turning down Remy’s kind offer. His three friends had seemed so disappointed when he’d said that he couldn’t go with them, but it couldn’t be helped; he’d made the commitment to attend rehearsals and he had to see it through.

But, well… to be completely honest, Roman may not have agreed to go with the three of them even if he hadn’t had rehearsal that day. Not because he didn’t want to, or because he didn’t think that karaoke with his friends would be a fun time — Roman was sure that if he had gone with his friends to the Lemon Lime tonight, he would have ended up having the time of his life singing crazy show tunes or Disney songs with them.

There was just one problem: what would Monet think? If the simple act of convincing his boyfriend to let him visit home every other weekend made Roman feel like he was walking on fragile eggshells, then trying to schedule a time and place to hang out with his friends was like — like strapping on ice skates with working chainsaws in place of blades and dancing a complex, fast-paced jig on top of those same eggshells.

It would often end up taking days or sometimes even weeks of careful negotiations before Monet was willing to let Roman go anywhere without being by his side at all times. And even then, there were still rules that Roman had to follow: no flirting, be home by x o’clock, no more than four drinks, if anyone tries to hit on you then leave immediately, don’t show too much skin when you go out, send me a text and a photo every hour… All reasonable requests, and Roman could certainly understand where his boyfriend was coming from, but the fact remained that they were rules nonetheless. Sometimes it felt like the list never stopped growing.

It didn’t help that the three people who made up Roman’s closest circle of friends were all attractive young men the same age as Roman, either. Though Roman was being completely honest when he told Monet that all of them were only friends, Kai, Elliot, and Remy were undeniably handsome and there was, of course, never a dull moment with them around.

It was easy to see why Monet, committed as he was to their relationship, might get a little bit distressed over how often Roman was hanging around the three of them. In fact, when Roman looked at the situation from his boyfriend’s point of view, he realized that Monet was already being generous enough, letting Roman spend as much time as he did with his group of friends. It wasn’t fair of Roman to ask for even more. And yet Monet was still willing to give it to him, under the right circumstances.

Roman sighed. That boy really is incredible.

So though a night of karaoke with his friends was a pleasant thought in theory, Roman had known the second Remy extended the invitation that there was no way he’d be able to go. Really, he was grateful for the schedule conflict between Remy’s reservation and his rehearsal. Explaining that he couldn’t go because of a prior commitment was so much easier than explaining that he couldn’t go because his boyfriend wouldn’t like it; that latter option made Monet sound like a cruelly controlling criminal, which he wasn’t — but though Roman understood Monet’s motives perfectly well on his own, he had found that he always ran into difficulty when he tried to explain them to other people…

Two sharp claps interrupted Roman’s train of thought. A quick glance at the clock on the wall revealed that his break was over. Just as well; Roman’s spirits were starting to sag a little, thinking about the karaoke he was missing out on. But there was plenty of singing to do here at rehearsal, wasn’t there?

Roman rose to his feet, tossed the granola bar wrapper into the trash, and did some quick warm-ups to ensure he was fully prepared; a few brief stretches, a vocal sigh, one or two quiet tongue twisters. He finished up and turned just in time to greet Kyle, who was rushing in with a half-finished plastic cup of bubble tea in his hands. The sight immediately reminded Roman of Remy’s antics with a similar plastic cup earlier that day, but he quickly pushed the thought aside. Stop thinking about them, he ordered himself. It’s rehearsal time. Focus!

“Kyle, just in time,” Roman greeted with a smile.

Kyle put his drink in a safe place where it wouldn’t spill over and made eye contact with Roman. He didn’t smile back this time. “Who’s Kyle?”

“Oh. Right, my bad.”

Kyle — pardon, the Other Prince — was apparently in character already. Perhaps Roman ought to be doing the same.

Roman breathed in, deeply, drawing as much oxygen into his diaphragm as he could, and let his eyelids flutter gently shut. Then, he slowly released the air from his lungs, and released all the bits and pieces of “Roman” with it.

While the young man melted away, the music began. Light, crystalline, clear, bouncing. Then, gently, came the singing:

“I wish —”

“More than anything —”

By the time the young man opened his eyes again, Roman had dissolved into the background, no more than a ghost fluttering between steady, rhythmic pulses.

“More than life —”

“More than jewels —”

And in his place, standing where Roman had once stood: a perfect Prince Charming.

“I wish…”

***

Roman was so tired by the time he got back to his and Monet’s house that evening, he ended up collapsing on the couch only seconds after he’d finished hanging up his thick winter coat. Stretching, Roman let out a huge yawn. The rest of his rehearsal had gone just fine, but the single granola bar he had packed for himself hadn’t been completely sufficient to keep his energy levels up. After all of the jumping around and running back and forth and vocal work, the drive home that day had been a long one.

Hearing Monet shuffling up behind him, Roman turned around. He watched Monet take in Roman’s state of being for a brief handful of seconds, then Roman’s boyfriend gave Roman a small smile and sat down next to him on the couch.

“Hey there, Prince Charming. Long day, huh?”

Roman let another yawn, somehow even bigger than the last, escape. That was answer enough.

“Oh, you poor thing, you must be completely worn out.” Monet shook his head as he wrapped a protective arm around Roman, pulling him close. “I’m so proud of you, Princey. You’ve been working so hard on this show of yours! I’d bet you anything that when show week begins, you’re going to be the best actor on the stage.”

Roman snuggled up against his boyfriend’s shoulder, breathing in his familiar scent. Hot chocolate on a cold winter day. "Heh. You’re just saying that.”

“No, I mean it. You’re crazy good, Ro,” Monet insisted. “You’re definitely going to become a world-famous actor some day, I’m sure of it. And then every time I see that cute face of yours plastered on a billboard or magazine cover or something, I can point and say, ‘You see that guy? Roman Foley, the bright shining superstar? He’s my boyfriend, you know.’ Everyone’s going to be so jealous of me.”

“I, uh…”

For some reason, Monet’s usually welcome compliments left Roman feeling a little hollow inside today. But I suppose it’s the thought that counts.

Luckily, though Roman was tired, he wasn’t so out of power that he couldn’t even act out some enthusiasm for Monet’s sake.

“...appreciate that,” he eventually settled for, giving Monet a quick peck on the cheek before returning his head to its resting position. “You’re always too good to me, you know.”

Roman felt his boyfriend’s shoulder shake a little bit as Monet chuckled. “Oh, trust me — I know.”

With that, the two of them were back to cuddling. It was nice, but Roman couldn’t help but feel like he should be saying something.

“You are coming to watch the performance, right?” he eventually settled on.

Roman couldn’t see his face, but he could tell from his tone of voice that Monet was smiling. “Of course I’m coming to watch the performance. I promised I would, didn’t I? Trust me, Ro, I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

Then, all of a sudden, Roman’s head hit the couch cushions. Monet had stood up without warning and was now watching Roman expectantly.

With a considerable amount of effort, Roman pushed himself back up to a sitting position, grumbling. “Come baaaack... I was comfortable!” he whined. “Don’t just abandon me here, Monet.”

“It’s getting late, and you’re tired. I wasn’t about to let you fall asleep on top of me. You’d have woken up cramped and sore all over.” Monet reached out and grabbed Roman’s hand. “Come on, sleepy head, let’s get you to up the stairs and into bed.” Ignoring Roman’s further protests, Monet pulled him to his feet.

Roman swayed in place for a moment before heavily settling back down onto the couch. “Nuh-uh, not moving. Couch soft.”

“The bed’s softer, silly. I already said, you’ll be sore in the morning if you sleep down here. Let’s go.”

Hearing a note of impatience in his boyfriend’s tone, Roman gave a small groan, but got up just like Monet asked. He leaned on Monet all the way over to their staircase, at which point Monet remembered an unfinished assignment and left Roman to fend for himself. So Roman climbed up the stairs and got ready for bed on his own, all the while swearing he could hear scattered notes and lyrics from Into the Woods still bouncing sluggishly from ear to tired ear:

It takes two . I thought one was enough, it’s not true — it takes two of us .

Humming the song’s simple melody, Roman slid with a contented sigh under the soft gold and red covers of the double bed that he and Monet shared.

(You came through — when the journey was rough, it took you — it took two of us.)

Monet had been totally right, just like he always was. The bed was way softer.

(It takes care — it takes patience and fear and despair — to change.)

But something was distinctly missing: the warmth of another person beside him.

(Though you swear to change, who can tell if you do?)

Tired though he was, Roman always felt so small when he lay all alone in their large bed. Even as he drifted off, he found himself wishing for someone to lie there next to him.

(It takes two.)

***

[next chapter]

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#roman sanders #remy sanders #cartoon therapy #logicality #prinxiety #kai brenton #elliot somnus #spectral scribbles #spec made something #tw food mention #tw gaslighting #tw abusive relationship #tw abusive deceit #tw deceit sanders #< just to be safe!#A is for Amour #aamour

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flowrxchild · 5 years

Text

🌼Get To Know Me Tag🌼

Thanks @satans-helper for tagging me!!! This is gonna be a long one so if anyone feels it’s necessary, please tell me to shut up! oke doke les do it❤️

1. What’s your middle name?

Olivia!

2. How old are you?

20, very cool and very funky years..

3. When’s your birthday?

January 8th

4. What’s your zodiac sign?

Capricorn 🐏 also an Aries rising, Libra moon if anyone cares lol

5. What’s your favourite colour?

Rn it’s yellow!

6. What’s your lucky number?

Ok I rlly gotta pick one soon cuz I just don’t have one lol

7. Do you have any pets?

Used to have a chubby brown lab but she was an old girl:( BUT recently I have fed a stray cat enough for him to come back everyday so he is now mine by Ricky Law™️

8. Where are you from?

Toronto, Canada baybee

9. How tall are you?

5’5

10. What shoe size are you?

7 and a half? I think?

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

Not that many like 5 tops lol

12. What was your last dream about?

Last night I dreamt about going horse back riding?? I woke up like ...she’s a horse girl, I knew it..

13. What talents do you have?

I can draw/paint?? Also I’m a pretty snazzy photographer

14. Are you psychic in any way?

I’m definitely intuitive...I’ve experienced some very strange coincidences in my life...

15. Favourite song?

Jimi Hendrix’ Voodoo Chile

16. Favourite Movie?

Moonrise Kingdom

17. Who would be your ideal partner?

*stares in Josh Kiszka yearn*

18. Do you want children?

Erm not sure yet

19. Do you want a church wedding?

Lol I want whatever the opposite of a church wedding is..

20. Are you religious?

Nope.

21. Have you ever been to the hospital?

Yes. I’m so clumsy I am a danger to myself at this point...

22. Have you ever gotten in trouble with the law?

No I’m literally a baby chicken and will cry if u raise ur voice at me

23. Have you ever met any celebrities?

Not formally? I’ve seen a lot of random celebrities just walking around tho cuz I live in a big city

24. Baths or showers?

Showers, practically but I love me a good bath now and again

25. What color socks are you wearing?

Im not wearing any ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ;-) Sam Kiszka tease ;-) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

26. Have you ever been famous?

One time my painting was put into a community art gallery and they took my photo for the local newspaper except they made the centre fold of the page fold into the picture around my face so it got all distorted and it was like when Mike Wazowski was in the Monsters Inc commercial...

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?

Not rlly..

28. What type of music do you like?

Rock, folk and indie but I will listen to anything

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

Yes. Me and my friends do it every year as a cottage tradition!

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?

3...I need to be snuggled AND supported

31. What position do you usually sleep in?

I don’t sleep unless I curl up into the smallest ball possible like a friggin cat

32. How big is your house?

She smol

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?

Literally just coffee most days. I love anarchy

34. Have you ever fired a gun?

Nope. Don’t have the desire to either.

35. Have you ever tried archery?

I have not but I’ve always wanted to!

36. Favourite clean word?

Cozzy

37. Favourite swear word?

Cunty but like as an adjective

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?

Not rlly sure...probably only a day. I’m a very sleepy person

39. Do you have any scars?

Yep

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?

If I told you, they wouldn’t be secret ;-)

41. Are you a good liar?

No not at all. My face gives it away so badly

42. Are you a good judge of character?

I like to think so. My first impressions of people tend to be true.

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?

Ya but not well ahsgag

44. Do you have a strong accent?

I don’t think I do, but my family from the states always says we have the stereotypical “Canadian accent”.

45. What is your favourite accent?

I loooove Irish accents. I find them very pleasing to hear!

46. What’s your personality type?

INFP-T to be precise

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?

My prom dress I think? I got it a Free People for 90$ and at that store, that’s a steal...

48. Can your curl your tongue?

Yeth

49. Are you an innie or an outie?

If this is referring to my belly button then, innie

50. Left or right handed?

Right handed

51. Are you scared of spiders?

Ew ya

52. Favourite food?

Ok my fave food is also my fave foreign food and it’s Indian!

53. Favourite foreign food?

54. Are you a clean or messy person?

messy...ITS CAREFUL CHAOS OK?

55. Most used phrase?

I really am not sure...

56. Most used word?

probably ‘like’. Yes I’m gen Z, yes I have trouble articulating my thoughts. And what about it???

57. How long does it take you to get ready?

I need at least an hour...I like to plan

58. Do you have much of an ego?

I don’t think so??

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?

If you bite lollipops, you’re in jail now, I don’t make the law.

60. Do you talk to yourself?

Yes, I’m the funniest person I know.

61. Do you sing to yourself?

Yes, funny you ask, I’m not only the funniest person I know, but also North America’s greatest entertainer!

62. Are you a good singer?

No! But I will preform for myself and the spiders living in my room. Yes, we exist!

63. Biggest fear?

Losing the people I love, being trapped.

64. Are you a gossip?

No yuck i hate it.

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?

this is too broad and difficult but The Witch. It’s spooky and dramatic.

66. Do you like long or short hair?

I don’t rlly have a preference...

67. Can you name all 50 states of America?

Probably if I try really really hard lol as a Canadian, this is a good road trip game

68. Favourite school subject?

Art or English!

69. Extrovert or introvert?

Introvert

70. Have you ever been scuba diving?

No but something about makes me anxious

71. What makes you nervous?

I would really love to find something that doesn’t make me anxious. Let’s start with that.

72. Are you scared of the dark?

No! I find it comforting sometimes actually

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?

Depends. I hate confrontation so I only do it if it really matters...

74. Are you ticklish?

Ok I wanna know who isn’t! Like whomst is not ticklish??

75. Have you ever started a rumour?

I hope not...I would feel very stinky

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?

If by authority you mean telling my sister to get out of my unassigned-assigned spot on the couch even though my voice cracks a little as I do it causing her to laugh even harder, than yes.

77. Have you ever drank underage?

Yes. *police sirens grow closer*

78. Have you ever done drugs?

I have done a weed or 2. Yes

79. Who was your first real crush?

My neighbour lol

80. How many piercings do you have?

3! My ears and also my cartilage! Used to have my septum, but it caused me too many problems so i let it grow over :(

81. Can you roll your R’s?

Ya!

82. How fast can you type?

So fast *spongebob voice* wanna see me do it again?

83. How fast can you run?

I would probably be the first to go in a horror movie

84. What colour is your hair?

Dark brown

85. What colour are your eyes?

Brown

86. What are you allergic to?

Nothing substantial.

87. Do you keep a journal?

Ya I do!

88. What do your parents do?

My mums a school secretary and my dads a fraud investigator

89. Do you like your age?

U know what, ya..I can’t complain.

90. What makes you angry?

Injustice and rudeness

91. Do you like your own name?

Ya I don’t mind it

92. Have you already thought of baby names if so what are they?

I mean I have names that I like but it’s not something I write down so I always forgot lol

93. Do you want a boy or a girl child?

I really couldn’t care less

94. What are your strengths?

Physically, I’m a sack of bones with the upper body strength of a new born baby but I like to think my sense of humour makes me tolerable *finger guns*

95. What are your weaknesses?

I am one frightened human bean.

96. How did you get your name?

Tru story: throughout my moms whole pregnancy, everyone including the doctors were convinced I was gonna be a boy because they could never get a clear look at me in the ultra sounds so my parents had only picked out boy names until I was born to which they changed their choice of “Eric” to Erika :))

97. Were your ancestors royalty?

Not at all lol

98. Do you have any scars?

Did I already answer this one? I think I did?

99. Colour of your bedspread?

White with pink floral pattern! (From ikea lol)

100. Colour of your room?

It’s an off-white

Ok I wanna tag these lovely beans @pe2chie @turntonightfirelight @camomillacatalina @witchgoddess @blackdressedtinyone 💗💗💗

#tag game #get to know me tag #ty!!

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kplr-radio · 5 years

Text

Broadcast: Angelo Divine, 01/09/19

[Live a Little Kenny Chesney]

Angelo: Good morning Kepler, that was Kenny Chesney’s “Live A Little,” and what a mood to start the morning on! This is 103.5 KPLR radio, and we’ll get to the news after this word from our sponsor.

[Audio advertisement transcript: [haunting orchestral music] Have you ever heard a true story that couldn’t possibly be real? Or maybe seen something you couldn’t believe with your own two eyes? No? [music cuts off] Then you’re not living, my friend! Come on down to the Cryptonomica, we have centuries of hidden knowledge of the arcane and the mystical! Stories beyond suspicion, creatures beyond compare! We’re just off State Route 16055. The Cryptonomica: a museum for the mysterious.]

Angelo: Big thanks to the Cryptonomica for sponsoring us this week! And don’t forget to check out the Lamplighter, this week’s issue talks about Krampus and the history of goat creatures in horror. It’s a really good read even if you’re not into the supernatural side of it. Now let’s get to the news. Traffic is as uneventful as ever, and weather reports say we’re looking at clear skies for the rest of the week. Do be sure to watch out for ice on the roads, though. It’s still pretty chilly, so be sure to grab a coat before you head to work. There’s not a long going on this week, that cold weather is kinda pushing everyone inside, but the Kepler Cup is running down the last of their Christmas stock so be sure to get all that before it’s gone. I myself have a peppermint mocha right here, actually, it’s keeping me warm while I wait for the heater to get going. Let’s get back to the tunes! This is “I Want A Cowboy” by Reba McEntire.

[I Want A Cowboy Reba McEntire] [Take Me Home, Country Roads John Denver] [Personal Jesus Johnny Cash] [Islands in the Stream Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton]

Alright, since there isn’t so much official news today, why don’t we look into some of the more extraordinary stuff? If any of you saw something noteworthy, why don’t you call in and tell me about it? Oh! Here we go. You’re on the air!

Caller: You know, I thought I saw Bigfoot but I got a bit closer and it turned out it was just Barclay from the lodge. He’s so ******* big . I asked him what he was doing in the woods and he said he likes night walks, and honestly yeah same I was doing a night walk too. And I said “Hey Barclay! Holy ****! I thought you were Bigfoot!” And then he choked on his own spit or something. I think he found it pretty funny. He was laughing a lot? I think? Anyway like holy ****! It’s so weird, he’s so tall and hairy, how many times have people seen Barclay and thought he was Bigfoot? How many sightings are just Barclay?

Angelo: Oh yeah, I wonder. Seems like half the sightings around here turn out to just be someone from town! What a strange place Kepler is. We’re still taking callers, if anyone else has any noteworthy sightings to report. Oh, looks like we got one! Hey!

Caller: Hello! It's great to be on the show, big fan! I ran into one a' those... Whaddya call it, hoke-mons? Okie-bombs? Somethin' like that. Saw a big monstrous lookin' one down in the park. Crazy what y'all can do with all them new-fangled technologies these days. Also Richard, if you're listenin', I love you!

Angelo: It’s great to have you! You might have seen a Pokémon, maybe? Strange that you would see one, uh, out and about. Maybe I’ll have to go down to the park sometime and check it out. Thanks for the info! Anyone else?

Caller: Angelo! Hey, Bonnie here, and I’m in the mood to be scared! You got any ghost stories?

Angelo: Well, uh, usually it’s y’all giving me the ghost stories, but I’ll do my best. [papers rustling] Here we go. This isn’t so much a story as a sort of summary, but I’ll read off my notes on the Nachtkrapp, an old Germanic bird monster. Shoutout to my coworker for helping me translate the information on this, not sure how he knows Old High German but we all have our hobbies, right? Anyways, the Nachtkrapp or “Night Raven” is described as a large raven, roughly the same size as an adult man, who acts as a boogeyman-type figure to scare children into going to sleep. In some versions of the legend, it imitates a human scream to either terrify them or lure them outside. In others, it has holes in its wings and no eyes, and just looking at the creature could make you sick or even kill you. There aren’t any recorded sightings of the creature as far as I can tell, but who knows? There’s a lot of area in northwestern Europe, it could be out there somewhere. Thanks so much to everyone who called in, but my producer says we gotta wrap this segment up. Hold onto those stories though, ‘cause I’m here every weekday and I love hearing them. This song up next is “Thank God I’m A Country Boy” by John Denver.

[Thank God I’m A Country Boy John Denver] [High Note Mavis Staples] [God’s Gonna Cut You Down Johnny Cash] [A Working Man Can’t Get Nowhere Today Merle Haggard]

Angelo: Some excellent songs on the rotation this week, though I might be biased. Anyways, it’s time for what I’m sure is everyone’s favorite, Angelo’s Advice Hour. As usual, if you’re in need of some advice, call in! As a certified expert I can and will solve your problems for you.

[Disclaimer: Angelo Divine is not qualified to answer most questions definitively. All answers are purely conjecture and Angelo Divine is not liable for any negative results that may come from following his advice.]

Angelo: We got our first caller! Hello, listener!

Caller: What should I do if I have a crush on one of my sisters friends?

Angelo: Aw, I’ve been there. I mean, it really depends on how well you know that person. If you’re friends or you think they might like you back, definitely go the “secret relationship” route. Not because you should lie to your sister, but because it is very fun. If you don’t know them too well or they don’t know you enough, get your sister to introduce you! Unless your sister is a jerk, in which case you should definitely be obnoxious about it. Hope that answers your conundrum! Who’s next?

Caller: I think I might have joined a gang? How do I say I don’t want to join but I like the jacket?

Angelo: The classic “accidentally joined a gang” problem. Those Hornets are wily, huh? Here’s what I’ll say: stick with it for a little bit, and you might have fun, I dunno, I have no idea what kids are doing these days. If you don’t like it still, stop wearing the jacket and hide it away so they can’t steal it back, and then just kinda ghost on ‘em. They’ll definitely find you, but it should buy you some time to come up with a good excuse. It’s a great plan.

Caller: I’m stuck on the roof, can you help me?

Angelo: I know who this is and the answer is: you know I can’t. Also you aren’t stuck. Get down before station management goes looking for you. Consider that my official advice.

Caller: So, uh, listen, I know this isn’t really your thing, but your coworker, uh, Rob was his name? Whoever does the overnight. He mentioned that he was looking for someone, and I think I can help him.

Angelo: Oh, uh, alright, I’ll— listen, come by the station when you can, if I’m not here then Rob definitely will be. Does anyone out there have actual advice questions?

Caller: Yeah, so, uh, I got a lotta people coming through my store, and I try to be real friendly, but I’m gettin’ old and I can’t remember everyone’s names. Do you have any tips for remembering names?

Angelo: Yeah, for sure! I’m still getting the hang of everyone’s names here at the station, haha. The trick is associating that person with something, so when you see that thing you remember their name. Like my coworker J— Rob, he’s got this cool jacket so when I see his jacket I think “that’s Rob!” It doesn’t always work, sometimes you end up calling him “jacket guy” but it’s better than not addressing them at all! I do think that’s it for today, folks, my airtime’s almost up, so let me leave you with “Jolene” by Dolly Parton.

[Jolene Dolly Parton]

#broadcast #1/9/19 #angelo divine

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arthurandhispendragons · 5 years

Text

For @quoderospero: You asked for this

Under the cut is my full list of Taylor Swift lyrics that hurt me and make me think of Merthur mostly, but also other characters. Enjoy and feel pain with me!

Also tagging @violetchachkii in case you get bored and ever want to hurt me with gifsets :)

Don’t Blame Me:

“For you, I would fall from grace, just to touch your face”

Breathe: Honestly, this whole song is just Merlin directly after 5x13

“Now I don’t know what to be without you around”

“I can’t breathe without you, but I have to”

“Never wanted this, never want to see you hurt. Every little bump in the road I tried to swerve.”

“Nothing we say is gonna save us from the fallout”

King of My Heart:

“And all at once you are the one I have been waiting for, king of my heart, body and soul”

Last Kiss: a lot of this doesn’t fit lyrically, but the general feeling is very post 5x13

“Never imagine we’d end like this. Your name, forever the name on my lips”

“The life of the party, you’re showing off again, and I roll my eyes, and you pull me in”

The Story of Us:

“So many things that I wish you knew. So many walls up I can’t break through”

“I used to know my place was the spot next to you”

If This Was A Movie:

“Six months gone and I’m still reaching, even though I know you’re not there”

“Come back, come back, come back to me like you would, you would, if this was a movie”

“If you’re out there, if you’re somewhere, if you’re moving on. I”ll be waiting for you, wary since you’ve been gone”

“But if this was a movie you’d be here by now”

The Other Side of the Door:

“I said leave, but all I really want is you”

“And don’t you leave, cause I know all I need is on the other side of the door”

“I can’t even look at you, I don’t need you but I do, I do, I do”

Mine:

“You are the best thing that’s ever been mine”

Treacherous:

“Put your lips close to mine, as long as they don’t touch. Out of focus, eye to eye, til the gravity’s too much. And I’ll do anything you say, if you say it with your hands. And I’d be smart to walk away, but you’re quicksand.”

“I can’t decide if it’s a choice, getting swept away. I hear the sound of my own voice, asking you to stay. And all we are is skin and bone, trained to get along. Forever going with the flow, but you’re friction.”

This Love: Actually, fuck this song because it’s gonna make me cry. Literally post 5x13 until Arthur comes back

“Clear blue water, high tide, came and brought you in...current swept you out again, and you were just gone and gone, gone and gone.”

“In silent screams, in wildest dreams, I never dreamed of this.”

“Your smile, my ghost, I fell to my knees”

“These hands had to let it go free and this love came back to me”

Stay Beautiful:

“If you and I are a story that never gets told, if what you are is a daydream I never get to hold, at least you’ll know.”

You Belong With Me:

“Been here all along so why can’t you see you belong with me?”

Sad, Beautiful, Tragic:

“Words, how little they mean, when you’re a little too late”

“In dreams I meet you in warm conversation. And time is taking its sweet time erasing you”

FIfteen: This is Merlin arriving in Camelot

“Count to ten, take it in, this is life before you know who you’re gonna be”

Superman: This song is more Arthur as a character and Arthur/Gwen as a ship

“He’s got his mother’s eyes, his father’s ambition”

State of Grace:

“And I never saw you coming. And I’ll never be the same”

“These are the hands of fate, you’re my Achilles heel, this is the golden age of something good and right and real”

New Year’s Day:

“Don’t read the last page, but I stay when you’re lost and I’m scared and you’re turning away”

“Hold on to the memories they will hold on to you”

Delicate:

“I pretend you’re mine all the damn time”

Superstar:

“I’m no one special just another wide eyed [boy] who’s desperately in love with you”

“You smile that beautiful smile and all the girls in the front row scream your name”

I Did Something Bad: This whole song is Morgana but here’s the highlight

“If a man talks shit than I owe him nothing. I don’t regret it one bit cause he had it coming.”

I’m Only Me When I’m With You: Once again, basically the whole song

“And sometimes we don’t say a thing, just listen to the crickets sing. Everything I need is right here by my side.”

“And I know everything about you, I don’t wanna live without you”

“Well you drive me crazy half the time, the other half I’m only trying to let you know what is and isn’t true. And I’m only me when I’m with you.”

“When I’m with anybody else, it’s so hard to be myself and only you can tell”

Everything Has Changed:

“Cause all I know is we said hello, and your eyes look like coming home. All I know is a simple thing, everything has changed.”

“Come back and tell me why I’m feeling like I missed you all this time”

“You’ll be mine and I’ll be yours all I know since yesterday is everything has changed”

A Place in This World: Again, Merlin in Episode 1

“I don’t know what I want, so don’t ask me, cause I’m still trying to figure it out. Don’t know what’s down this road, I’m just walking”

Look What You Made Me Do: Whole song is Morgana

“The role you made me play of the fool, no I don’t like you.”

“But I got smarter, I got harder in the nick of time.”

“Maybe I got mine, but you’ll all get yours.”

Come Back, Be Here:

“And this is when the feeling sinks in, I don’t want to miss you like this. Come back, be here.”

“If I had known what I know now, I never would have played so nonchalant”

“This is falling in love in the cruelest way. This is falling for you when you are worlds away”

“I can’t help but wish you took me with you”

Change:

“But I believe in whatever you do, and I’ll do anything to see it through.”

“It was the night things changed, can you feel it now? The walls that they put up to hold us back fell down”

Holy Ground:

“And right there where we stood was holy ground”

“And sometimes I wonder how you’d think about it now, and I see your face in every crowd”

I Know Places:

“And I know for you, it’s always me”

“And I know for me, it’s always you”

Haunted:

“Come on, come on, don’t leave me like this...something’s gone terribly wrong you’re all I wanted”

Call it What you Want:

“Bridges burn, I never learn, at least I did one thing right”

Gorgeous:

“You should think about the consequence of your magnetic field being a little too strong”

“You should take it as a compliment that I got drunk and made fun of the way you talk”

Long Live: Strap in folks, this is another one that almost made me cry

“It was the end of a decade, but the start of an age.”

“All the kingdom lights shined just for me and you”

“I was screaming long live all the magic we made”

“One day we will be remembered”

“Long live all the mountains we moved, I had the time of my life fighting dragons with you”

“Can you take a moment-promise me this. That you’ll stand by me forever, but if God forbid fate should step in. And force us into a goodbye-if you have children someday-when they point to the pictures, please tell them my name?”

Innocent:

“Who you are is not what you did”

“You wouldn’t be shattered on the floor now, if only had seen what you know now then”

Today Was a Fairytale

“You’ve got a smile that takes me to another planet”

“All that I can say is now it’s getting so much clearer. Nothing made sense till the time I saw your face.”

Dress:

“There is an indentation in the shape of you. Made your mark on me a golden tattoo”

“My hands are shaking from holding back from you”

“I don’t want you like a best friend”

“All of this silence and patience, pining and anticipation”

“Even in my worst times you could see the best of me”

Dancing With Our Hands Tied:

“I loved you in spite of deep fears that the world would divide us”

“Oh, cause it’s gravity keeping you with me”

“I’d kiss you as the lights went out, swaying as the room burned down”

Fearless:

“And I don’t know how it gets better than this, you take my hand and drag me headfirst, fearless”

Out of the Woods:

“We were built to fall apart, then fall back together”

Sparks Fly:

“I’m on my guard for the rest of the world but with you, I know it’s no good.”

Tied Together With a Smile: Arthur and Merlin at alternate points in the series

“And you cry, but you don’t tell anyone, that you might not be the golden one”

“I guess it’s true that love was all you wanted, cause you’re giving it away like it’s extra change.”

Cold As You:

“You put up walls and paint them all a shade of gray. And I stood there loving you and wished them all away.”

I Wish You Would

“I wish you knew that, I’d never forget you as long as I live.”

Come in With the Rain: Merlin post 5x13

“I’ll leave my window open cause I’m too tired at night to call your name. Just know I’m right here hoping that you’ll come in with the rain.”

White Horse: post 5x13

“I had so many dreams about you and me, happy endings, now I know.”

Ours: Honestly, the whole song

“If you were here we’d laugh about their vacant stares, but right now, my time is theirs.”

“People throw rocks at things that shine and life makes love look hard”

Red: Another one that hit me like a mack truck

“Loving him is like trying to change your mind once you’re already flying through the free fall”

“Losing him was blue like I’ve never known, missing him was dark gray all alone. Forgetting him was like trying to know somebody you never met. But loving him was red.”

“Remembering him comes in flashbacks and echoes, tell myself it’s time now, gotta let go, but moving on from him is impossible when I still see it all in my head, burning red.”

Stay, Stay, Stay: The tone of the song is very them

“All those times that you didn’t leave, it’s been occurring to me I’d like to hang out with you for my whole life.”

Enchanted:

“The playful conversation starts, counter all your quick remarks like passing notes in secrecy”

“All I can say is I was enchanted to meet you”

“Please don’t be in love with someone else, please don’t have somebody waiting on you”

If you made it through this, you deserve a prize but I hope you enjoyed!

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arvadthecursed · 5 years

Note

1-100 >:)

you bastard ;p ♡

tagging @nonbinarist @tiana-ships-gayngel since they also sent in asks off anon!

1. What is you middle name? Rae

2. How old are you? 19

3. When is your birthday? December 14

4. What is your zodiac sign? Sagittarius w Gemini Rising and Pisces Descending

5. What is your favorite color? Pastel pink or pastel purple!

6. What’s your lucky number? 7

7. Do you have any pets? yes! I have a kitty named Gizmo!

8. Where are you from? Texas, currently living in NE

9. How tall are you? 4′11″/~150 cm

10. What shoe size are you? 3 or 4 in children’s/teens, 4.5 in women’s

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? 5

12. What was your last dream about? I remember being dressed in Harley Quinn pajamas I think?

13. What talents do you have? Writing, drawing, and good interpersonal skills

14. Are you psychic in any way? probably not lol if I am I just don’t know it yet

15. Favorite song? Would That I - Hozier

16. Favorite movie? oooh that’s a tough one. I’m gonna say Alien, Bladerunner, or Annihilation

17. Who would be your ideal partner? Arvad the Cursed LOL that was a real hard one ;p

18. Do you want children? yes! I would love at least one daughter, but I would like 2-3 kids total!

19. Do you want a church wedding? not sure tbh. I kind of flip flop between wanting a church wedding or an outdoor wedding.

20. Are you religious? No

21. Have you ever been to the hospital? No22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? I’ve been pulled over for speeding but I got off with a warning

23. Have you ever met any celebrities? not yet!

24. Baths or showers? Showers!

25. What color socks are you wearing? none at the moment

26. Have you ever been famous? on tumblr LOL

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? I think being a mid-size celebrity would be cool, so I could still go out and stuff, but I’d still have some fame.

28. What type of music do you like? I really like rock, pop, and folk!

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? No

30. How many pillows do you sleep with? 2

31. What position do you usually sleep in? I always sleep curled up in the fetal position lmao

32. How big is your house? It’s middle size, I think, not too big, not too small.

33. What do you typically have for breakfast? Cocoa Dyno-bites cereal

34. Have you ever fired a gun? No

35. Have you ever tried archery? Yes, in gym class

36. Favorite clean word? Hmm, I really love words so this is tough. I’ll go with simulacrum tho!

37. Favorite swear word? the classic “fuck”

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? 30ish hours

39. Do you have any scars? Yes, I have a burn scar on my right hand and a scar on my right shin from falling down the stairs.

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? Yes

41. Are you a good liar? not at all lmao.

42. Are you a good judge of character? I am now but when I was younger not so much

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? I can do a decent Russian accent.

44. Do you have a strong accent? Not usually but I know my Texas twang comes out sometimes lol

45. What is your favorite accent? Russian or any Hispanic accents, they’re so pretty!

46. What is your personality type? ENFP-T

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? a nice dress I bought for special occasions/interviews, it was $110

48. Can you curl your tongue? No

49. Are you an innie or an outie? Innie

50. Left or right handed? Right

51. Are you scared of spiders? Oh absolutely, my dad let me watch Eight Legged Freaks when I was 5 and it fucked me up real good

52. Favorite food? Fettucine alfredo or pancakes

53. Favorite foreign food? sweet and sour chicken w/ fried rice and lo mein

54. Are you a clean or messy person? messy, but it’s an organized chaos

55. Most used phrase? “hmm. fuck” mentally, “umm, excuse me, please” irl

56. Most used word? “oof”

57. How long does it take for you to get ready? 15-20 minutes

58. Do you have much of an ego? No, I wouldn’t say so.

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? gotta get that c r u n c h

60. Do you talk to yourself? In the car I do

61. Do you sing to yourself? Yes

62. Are you a good singer? Ehhhhhh lol.

63. Biggest Fear? being alone and unloved

64. Are you a gossip? Only to my best friends, but 95% of the time I prefer to just sit and listen.

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen? Oh that’s tough. I’ll go with Sunshine tho!

66. Do you like long or short hair? I like my hair short. On other people I don’t mind either.

67. Can you name all 50 states of America? If I’m given time and a few hints I could!

68. Favorite school subject? English or Anatomy

69. Extrovert or Introvert? Introvert despite me being unable to Shut The Fuck Up online

70. Have you ever been scuba diving? No but I want to

71. What makes you nervous? Is “existing” an acceptable answer?

72. Are you scared of the dark? No

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? Only if it’s something major. Most of the time I just leave it alone.

74. Are you ticklish? Sort of.

75. Have you ever started a rumor? No

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority? Yes, I was vice president of my school’s NSDA chapter and head of extemp in speech!

77. Have you ever drank underage? No, I haven’t drank at all.

78. Have you ever done drugs? No

79. Who was your first real crush? A boy named Andres back in 4th grade. I made him hold my hand on our way back from an amusement park field trip.

80. How many piercings do you have? Just 1 right now, my ears. I’m going to get my nose repierced soon.

81. Can you roll your Rs? yes

82. How fast can you type? Very fast, I think the last time I checked it was over 150 words per min?

83. How fast can you run? Not very fast anymore LOL

84. What color is your hair? Brown

85. What color is your eyes? Green-gray

86. What are you allergic to? Pollen and dander, and I think penicillin?

87. Do you keep a journal? Does my tumblr count?

88. What do your parents do? My dad works at Dollar General and my mom’s a USDA meat inspector.

89. Do you like your age? Yeah, it’s alright lol.

90. What makes you angry? People being cruel for no reason, people refusing to understand others.

91. Do you like your own name? Yes.

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they? Yes!! For a girl, I like Alice, Ophelia, and Juliette, and for a boy I like Micah, Theo, and Hudson.

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? I would love to have a girl one day for sure ♡

94. What are you strengths? Compassionate, empathetic, and driven.

95. What are your weaknesses? Needy, indecisive, obsessive.

96. How did you get your name? My maternal grandmother picked the name out for me. She was dying of terminal cancer, and my mother wanted her to pick my name out.

97. Were your ancestors royalty? No

98. Do you have any scars? Already answered

99. Color of your bedspread? White with blue stripes!

100. Color of your room? Pink

#em responds #long post #ty for everyone who sent in asks!! i had 3 anons too

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marvel-mistress-padawan · 5 years

Text

Camelot California

Chapter Two

Oh I'm gettin' old and feeble and I cannot work no more

The children no more gather 'round my door

And old masters and old mrs they are sleepin' side by side

Near the little old log cabin in the lane

Oh the chimney's fallen down and the roof's all caved in

Lettin' in the sunshine and the rain

And the only friend I've got now is that good old dog of mine

And the little old log cabin in the lane

Oh the trees have all growed up that lead around the hill

The fences have all gone to decay

And the creeks have all dried up where we used to go to mill

And things have changed of course in another ways

Oh the chimney's fallen down and the roof's all caved in

Lettin' in the sunshine and the rain

And the only friend I've got now is that good old dog of mine

And the little old log cabin in the lane

Oh I ain't got long to stay here what little time I've got

I want to rest content while I remain

'Til death shall call this dog and me to find a better home

And leave th' little old log cabin in the lane

Oh the chimney's fallen down and the roof's all caved in

Lettin' in the sunshine and the rain

And the only friend I've got now is that good old dog of mine

And the little old log cabin in the lane

-Will S. Hays

The song rang out cherily as the stagecoach bumped over the long and winding road. Lucas Walton wasn’t that great of a banjo player. United States Marshals didn’t need to be banjo players after all but Lucas could sing anyhow. The way he saw it, riding on top of the coach while he was transporting a prisoner on a fine day like this one, was as good a time as any to sing. Really, any time at all was a time to sing except that Lucas knew that other folks didn’t see it that way and during those times he could keep quiet for their sake. He finished off his song and heard an applause from within the coach accompanied by the rattling of chains.

“You sure do know how to sing a good tune, Marshall Walton.” Donny called out from inside.

“I do my best,” Lucas said with a smile. “You fellas ought to sing the next one with me.”

“I won’t be doing any singing.” Keith Danvers said sourly. He was the driver and only other companion on this trip. “You two go right on ahead and sing without me. I got better things to do.”

Lucas shook his head at the grisled coach driver. “Alrighty then, you wallow in in your bitterness all you like. Donny and I have some cheer to spread.”

“Cheer to spread? This ain’t Christmas! And what could that boy possibly have to be cheerful about? He’s on his way to prison!” Keith spat his chewing tobacco on the ground.

“Could be he’ll end up in prison. He’s on his way to trial though. The courts will decide what happens to him. That doesn’t mean there isn’t anything to sing about anymore. I know some sad songs too if you think that would be more fitting?”

“I think silence would be more fitting,” Keith said in reply.

“It’s too long a trip to spend it all in silence. I’ll do two more songs though and be quiet for a spell if that suits you,” he said amicably.

Keith gave what sounded like a grunt as a reply while Lucas began another song. At the end of his second song Donny applauded once again.

“How come you know so many songs that I’ve never heard before?” Donny called out.

“Well some of them I learn off of sheet music my sister sends me from back east and most of them are just newly published,” Lucas explained.

“Sheet music?” Donny asked. “You mean those chicken scratch dots that opera singers use? How do you even read that?”

“What the Marshal here is trying to say,” Keith spoke up, “Is that he has more book learning than both of us combined and that’s why his head is full of songs and turds.”

Lucas ignored this attempt at an insult as did Donny. “I only went to school for six years,” Donny said sadly. “I wanted to go longer but Mama needed my help back on the farm.”

“You should have stayed on that farm rather than taking up thieving,” Keith told him.

“I didn’t take the jewels from that lady’s purse. I didn’t!” Donny protested.

Lucas wasn’t sure if that was the truth. The jewelry had been found in Donny’s room after all. The kid’s job at the hotel didn’t pay much and there were a lot of wealthy people that came in and out of that place. Maybe the chance to send some money to his poor family back home had been too much a temptation for Donny. Or maybe one of the other hotel employees pinned the theft on Donny rather than get caught. It seemed unlikely though. Donny probably had stolen the jewels and would probably spend some time in jail for it. Hopefully he’d come out of it having learned to never try something like that again.

“I know a thief when I see one,” Keith was saying. “Good thing judge Harmon hangs thieves like he should. We can be rid of your trouble for good.”

“They’re not gonna hang me are they Marshal?” Donny sounded genuinely worried.

“That would be too harsh. No one needs to die over stealing some necklaces,” Lucas mused aloud.

“Stealing necklaces is where it starts,” Keith argued. “Then it goes on to stealing horses and money. Once they got money they start drinking and once they’re drinking they start killing people. Might as well hang ‘em and be done with it.”

“Are they gonna hang me?” Donny asked again.

“You got it wrong Keith. I don’t disagree that there are times when hanging a man is the right call. Sometimes they’ve done too much violence and are too far gone to be of any use to the world anymore. Those kind of people are few and far between but they do gotta pay for their crimes. The rest of the lawbreakers like Donny here, those ones still have time to change.”

“That’s a load of horsesh-!”

“Are they going to hang me?” Donny interrupted Keith with urgency.

“Judge Harmon is a reasonable man. If I ask him for leniency and for some more time to gather evidence, he’ll listen,” Lucas said.

“You better be right about that,” Donny said, not entirely convinced.

Lucas was about to assure him that it was the truth when a sight ahead in the road got his attention. “Hold up,” he said to Keith.

“Yeah, I see it. Log in the road. You know what that means,” Keith removed his revolver from the holster. Lucas followed suit. “It’s not too big a log. I ain’t gonna get killed by no bandits today.”

“Danvers, don’t do it!” Lucas all but shouted at him. It was too late. Keith Danvers had the horses going full speed ahead. He apparently hoped to get up enough momentum to get the coach wheels over the log.

The horses jumped over the log effortlessly. The front wheels of the coach hit with an impact that broke the wooden wheels on contact. Lucas was thrown from the top of the coach and went tumbling on the ground. He felt something snap in his knee and for a moment everything went dark. When he opened his eyes again, it seemed that only a few seconds had passed. He dragged himself to feet with the help of a nearby tree branch. The coach was on its side and broken. Donny was crawling out the door which now on the top side of the overturned coach. Four gunman came into view. Keith was not in Lucas’ line of sight at all. He seemed to have disappeared, hopefully not pinned underneath the coach. A shot from one of the gunmen hit Donny in the shoulder and the boy fell back down inside the coach.

The second shot did not come from any of the four gunman but from somewhere on the other side of the coach. It had to be Keith doing the shooting. The shot hit one of the bandits in the leg and though the man gave a cry of pain he limped onward looking for cover. Lucas realized that he must have dropped his own gun somewhere during the crash. He had certainly dropped his banjo. It was lying broken not more than ten feet away. He lowered himself to his uninjured knee and ducked down behind a bush. The shrubbery provided very little cover but it did give him a vantage point to watch the situation unfold and try to plan his next move.

Two of the bandits remained on horseback and had begun circling the area around the coach, probably looking for any remaining passengers or the driver. As soon as the shooting began, they dismounted and took cover at the overturned coach along with their injured companion which happened to be on the same side where Lucas was ducked down hiding. It was only a matter of time before they realized he was there. Lucas took a look around for something that could serve as a weapon, a rock maybe? Then he spotted his revolver on the ground right out in the open between himself and the three gunmen. He looked down at his knee. It was now pretty swollen from being twisted in the fall. Even if he could have been quick enough to retrieve his gun before his knee got all busted up, there was no way he could manage it now.

More gunshots rang out and a shout was heard on the far side of the coach before the air fell silent. If he had to guess, Lucas was pretty sure that Keith had taken down the fourth bandit. The three men began to reach around the edge of the coach and fire shots in Keith’s general direction. Something had to be done about all this. Donny was still inside that coach and was there was no way of knowing how badly he was injured. With all the gunshots headed in the direction of the coach it was only gonna get worse.

“I shoulda just been a fisherman,” Lucas muttered to himself. He had never enjoyed being a Marshal and whenever he found himself in tough spots he found himself regretting not taking a more peaceful type of employment.

Then he remembered something. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a bundle of fishing line with a hook attached. He liked to carry fishing line in case he got the chance to stop over at Laketown. With all the shooting going on, the bandits took no notice of his eleven attempts to hook his revolver on the ground behind them. On the twelve try he managed to hook the weapon and pulled it quickly to himself. He shot two of them in the leg before the third one realized that the shots were coming from behind. That one turned and fired straight at Lucas. The shot missed. The other two men had apparently never been shot before and had dropped their guns and were writhing in agony. The uninjured man was taking aim a second time. Lucas shot first and he didn’t miss.

Two of the bandits were dead and the other two were currently unarmed but their guns lay within reach right next to them. Lucas grabbed the tree branch and pulled himself to stand, keeping his aim towards the injured men. They didn’t fight being arrested and gave up their guns as asked.

“Donny?” Lucas called out while he tied up his prisoners. “You alive in there boy?”

Keith came out of hiding and climbed on top of the overturned coach. He threw open the door and peered down inside. “Give me that there box,” he reached two hands inside and hauled the chest out and placed it next to him on the coach. After that he pulled the kid out and lowered him to the ground.

Donny was bleeding and looked rather shaken up. Keith jumped down from the coach and set to work unhitching the horses. They would have to ride for the remainder of their journey. “That there box is the property of Wells Fargo. It comes with us. Bring it here Donny.”

Donny was shot in the shoulder and though he made a good effort, he could not lift his arms above his head. Keith watched with disgust but made no move to help so Lucas limped over and reached up to pull down the chest. It was far heavier than he expected and between the weight of the chest and the injury to his knee, the Marshal soon found himself flat on the ground pinned beneath the heavy chest. It was in that moment that Donny decided to make a run for it. He supposed he couldn’t blame the kid. Keith had told him he might be hanged and after just barely escaping the bandits with his life, Donny was panicked.

“You yellow bellied little…” Keith muttered and then worked quickly to finish unhitching one of the horses. He mounted and took off after Donny.

Lucas pushed the chest off of himself and followed after them. It took him a while to catch up due to the pain in his knee. He eventually found them, Donny looked like his nose was broken, his left eye was blacked, and he had fresh roped tied around his wrists. Keith was still on horseback and held the end of the rope while Donny walked.

The rest of the journey to the city was sullen. Lucas had done what he could for Donny’s wounds, and had made sure his other two prisoners were tied securely. There were no more songs. His broken banjo was in a bag and Lucas was in one of his rare moods where he actually didn’t want to sing. He dropped off his prisoners at the jail near the courthouse, left Keith Danvers at the Wells Fargo office, and went to see a doctor for his knee.

It was dusk when Lucas finally returned to his little townhouse on the edge of the city. There was mail in the basket on his front steps. Usually his neighbor old Mrs Fisk picked up his mail for him when he was away. And on top of the mail was a telegram message dated for the previous day.

The Bartlett Gang all killed in Davenport shootout with only Ned Bartlett taken alive STOP Sheriff Brett Williams killed in the conflict STOP Davenport renamed Camelot STOP

Lucas didn’t bother to read the rest of the mail. He went inside, took a bottle of whiskey from the pantry, and went straight out the back door into the garden. There weren’t many flowers blooming this time of year. Or maybe they just didn’t grow as well without Emilia to tend them anymore. Lucas went past the dying flowers and shrubbery. He stopped in front of a single gravestone.

Emilia Williams Walton 1841-1870, Beloved wife and mother, Edith Walton 1865-1870, Beloved daughter.

With great effort, Lucas lowered himself down to sit on the ground. The grass was well worn as he had sat in this spot many times before. “Well Emilia, at least you won’t be alone anymore. Your brother will take good care of you. He always did. Better than I could...better than I ever could...”

And Lucas opened the bottle of whiskey with no plans to go back in the house anytime soon.

#western #novel #original story #stagecoach #wells fargo #chapter two

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linos-teeth · 5 years

Text

i got tagged

in the 50 questions and the about me tag by @chngbok ty browse!! these are a lot of questions and idk who i want to bother with them (unless you wanna be bothered then consider yourself tagged) but in case you wanna know some random stuff abt me there’s a lot of that under the cut!

what takes too much of your time?

currently, fic writing for sure

what makes your day better?

uhhh ideas, music, skz (except lino bc he literally just makes me cry)

what is the best thing that happened to you today?

lino in the victory song dance practice? (wow there's a theme already)

what fictional place would you like to go to?

hmmmmm the arbor wilds, the crossroads, the forge, h-047c, watford

are you good at giving advice?

nah

do you have any mental illness?

uhhhh not theoretically (as in not diagnosed oops)

have you ever experienced sleep paralysis?

luckily not

what musician inspired you the most?

boy i rly can't say, usually it's writers or games that inspire me and music not so much?

have you fallen in love?

most likely yeah

what’s your dream date?

idk man surprise me like...going out exploring and doing things i haven't done before that don't include any drugs or stuff also movies are good

what do others notice about you?

my hair (it's long)

what is an annoying habit that you have?

biting my uh...the skin next to my nails? and my lips? i guess?

do you still talk to your first love?

ha nah

how many ex’s do you have?

zero

how many songs are in your playlist?

i have 685 deezer faves

what instruments do you play?

piano, idk if recorder counts, used to play the oboe but...not any more

who do you have the most pictures of?

myself XD, my da/me chars, also random idol pictures for reaction memes

where would you like to go before you die?

uhhhhh a lot of places like...there's a lot of cities in europe i still wanna see and i wanna go back to paris and london and i also would love to visit like 294503 national parks in the us also maybe a desert (bc stars) and somewhere far north (for northern lights)

what’s your zodiac?

scorpio

do you relate to it?

nope

what is happiness to you?

just like...a content feeling? like...idk words for it but when you just stop and go like fuck this is rly good i'm rly comfy rn and not sad??? like just being good in your own skin?

are you going through anything right now?

not more than usual

what’s the worst decision you’ve ever made?

i made a few sucky time management decision throughout my uni time and still am so i guess that

what’s your favorite store?

what's a store

what’s your opinion on abortion?

i don't rly think i get to say much abt it while i'm not in a position where i can talk yknow? you should be allowed to but i imagine it's tough as shit too

do you keep a bucket list?

nah

do you have a favorite album?

A FEW there's wildness by snow patrol and mania by fob and wild world by bastille and miroh (that's currently tho that shit changes a lot)

what do you want for your birthday?

my birthday isn't happening for a while and what i want i kinda need before so xD for my birthday i wish i could be with my family but i won't be able to :/

what are most people’s first impression of you?

uhhhhh awk i guess which is right, also rly smart and like...organised which is wrong

what age to you seem according to most people?

apparently like 16, i always get asked when i finish school

where do you keep your phone while sleeping?

on my bed next to my pillow, stuffed under some plushies

what word do you say the most?

idk honestly i don't talk much probably some expletive

what’s the oldest age would you date?

idk man i'm not rly attracted to ppl much older than me never have been if it ever happened they'd prolly be like 2 years younger oops that's like the norm with crushes

what’s the youngest age would you date?

oh uh see above i guess like...currently i'm 23 so like? not younger than 20?

what job/career do most people say sould suit you?

they don't rly say anything abt that xD

what’s your favorite music genre?

uhhh rock? alt stuff? i love some folk and some pop too and i'm a slut for lofi

if you would live in any country in the world, where would it be?

here tbh

what’s your current favorite song?

u h h probably still chronosaurus! doesn't look like it's leaving that spot any time soon oops

how long have you have this blog for?

a bit over a month now?

what are you excited for?

how pathetic is it if i say my summer course? idk just...smth new i guess i'm looking forward to it (not to being away from games and photoshop)

are you a better talker or a listener?

listener

what is the last productive thing you did?

i finished vacuuming the house today

what do you want for Christmas?

s h r u g

what classes do you get the best grades in?

language stuff, music

on a scale of 1-10 how are you feeling right now?

a 4? maybe?

what can you see yourself doing in 10 years?

idk man i wanna go into speech therapy so?? that? or research even? but i gotta get into the masters first rip

when did you first get your heartbreak?

oh dear. probably like...in kindergarten when my crush was an absolute ass (so far, 80% of them have been there's a theme) i was pathetic

at what age do you want to get married?

idk man i guess in like 100 years when someone finally decides they rly want to put up with this mess

what career did you want to have as a child?

florist, author, actress

what do you crave right now?

hugs? and drawing skill

1. How tall are you?

i'm jisung-sized

2. What color are your eyes?

hazel

3. What color and style is your hair?

uhhhh dark blonde would be the accurate desc prolly? it's like...blondebrowngoldish and too long and i usually braid it and i have a super messy fringe

4. Do you wear glasses?

5. Do you have braces?

luckily not!

6. What’s your fashion sense?

casual and basic with a dash of experimental and sometimes a bit cutesy

7. Full name?

8. When were you born?

long, long ago, too long ago

9. Where are you from and where do you live

germany!

10. What school(s) do you go to?

no more school for me, i'm going to university

11. What kind of student are you?

the one that kinda gets by far too well for procrastinating so badly (all i have to say in my defense is that i'm anxious as shit abt everything)

12. Do you like school?

i used to!! like...the last 3 and first 3 years were chill

13. Fav subject?

music, history, english, latin

14. Fav TV shows?

i rly only watch b99 but i would be careful calling it my favorite since like...3 eps ago

15. Fav books?

my current fave is less by andrew sean greer (aka it was my fave last autumn and i've read like 3 since and they weren't super great)

16. Fav pastimes?

uhhh writing gaming music and lately, giffing too!

17. Do you have any regrets?

a couple

18. Dream job?

i mean i do still wish i could just like...do smth artsy like be an author or an illustrator but i'm bad at writing and literally cannot draw at all so

19. Would you ever like to be married?

yes absolutely

20. Would you like to have children?

kinda yeah?

21. If so, how many?

22. Do you like shopping?

only for a limited amount of time

23. What countries have you visited?

denmark, norway, france, the uk, spain, italy, austria, slovakia, we also drove through switzerland like twice

24. Scariest nightmare you’ve ever had?

uhhhhhh basically all of the end of the world/war scenario dreams i've had?

25. Any enemies?

does myself count

26. Do you have a significant other?

nah

27. Do you get along with your family?

yeah? we're not super close but we don't hate each other

28. Do you believe in miracles?

I BELIEVE IN MIRACLES WHERE YA FROM YOU SEXY THING no but rly i do

29. How are you?

not terrible

#wow i sound so rude rip that rly wasnt intended #tag things

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mercyoncanvas · 5 years

Photo

if someone wanted to really understand you, what would they read, watch, and listen to?

read- so the romantic in me wants to say anything by beverly jenkins. like let me fall in love all over history with different variations of 80′s and 90′s heartthrobs (morris chestnut has starred in three). but toni morrison is a definite. sula in particular.

watch- I swear, Spike Lee must’ve seen the future and based she’s gotta have it on me. The treatment of Beyonce’s mine is definitely a peek into the mind of 2014 Mercedes Jones.

listen- kimbra - version of me ; noname- telefone ; janet jackson- velvet rope

have you ever found a writer (whether books, journalism, and/or comics) who thinks just like you? if so, who?

tracy chapman definitely. like her whole discography got me through college. but if we’re talking particulars of exclusively folks who write books etc. toni morrison writes like how I wish I could see art – if that makes any sense.

list your fandoms and one character from each that you identify with.

I remember the deep and dark days of 2006 and stalking the internet for bandom fanfiction (day 26 for anyone being nosy) I’m not much into fandoms now but if I was I would definitely take a peek over into Game of Thrones. I wonder if people still argue through Author’s Notes anymore.

do you like your name? is there another name you think would fit you better?

It’s taken like at least 14 years to learn to love my name. All the car jokes got real old beloved. I’m just happy my parents didn’t try to name me something like volkswagon.

do you think of yourself as a human being or a human doing? do you identify yourself by the things you do?

human being. yes, we do things, but we’re always being. you can do a whole bunch of things but that doesn’t mean anything if who you are inwardly doesn’t match.

are you religious/spiritual?

I’ll admit I sometimes do feel lost in the shuffle but I know there is something out there. Cause if there’s nothing out there? Yikes.

do you care about your ethnicity?

oh to be young, gifted, and black. I love being black y’all.

what musical artists have you most felt connected to over your lifetime?

I stated Ms. Tracy before, but Tracy Chapman is huge one. Beyonce because duh? (she said world stop, and we stopped). Oleta Adams. MC Lyte. Amel Larrieux. Stevie Nicks.

are you an artist?

I mean I’d like to think I am. Just ignore my the still white board on my easel and ignore the fact I keep sketching out Rihanna’s cupid’s bow in my notebook.

do you have a creed?

Real g’s move in silence but but keep their ears open. also, let yourself be taken over for the 99 and 00′s.

describe your ideal day.

There’s a beach and an umbrella and the sun is damn hot but the breeze blows ever couple minutes. I’ve got my book open and my music is playing but just low enough to hear kids laughing.

dog person or cat person?

Both. also hamsters.

inside or outdoors?

Depends on the time of year. Right now inside but the snow can be pretty to walk around in.

are you a musician?

I used to play piano a lot. But it’s been a smooth seven years since I’ve sat down and really played.

five most influential books, movies, tv shows, comics, over your lifetime.

girlfriends, over the cherry moon, sula, lemonade, making the band 2.

if you’d grown up in a different environment, do you think you’d have turned out the same?

Probably. Would’ve played the piano more that’s for sure. I mean somethings are nature but nurture plays a huge part.

would you say your social media is a fair representation of the “real you”?

I have several IGs for a reason.

what’s your patronus?

I’d want it to be something cool and majestic like an antelope, but let’s be real, it’s like a street cat. They survive anything. And have a shiny coat while doing it.

which Harry Potter house would you be in? or are you a muggle?

Ravenclaw but would definitely be smoking whatever is the equivalent of weed on the grounds cause some of them are way too intense.

would you rather be in Middle Earth, Narnia, Hogwarts, or somewhere else?

Hogwarts baby. Weekends guzzling butterbeer and the Yule Ball? All damn day.

do you love easily?

If you ask my exes you’d get a resounding no, but they still get my yearly Xmas cards don��t they?

list the top five things you spend the most time doing, in order.

1. listening to music 2. sleeping 3. browsing for new paints 4. ordering takeout 5. mouthing the words to my music very enthusiastically.

Honorary mentions include forgetting to hit people back, wanting some wine, and wanting to visit NYC for the weekend.

how often would you want to see your family every year?

Let’s be real everyone is trying to keep up with us. I wish I could some people more often though.

have you ever felt like you had a “mind-meld” with someone?

Me and Tina may fuss and fight, but she somehow always knows when to have fries ready for me whenever I come into the Double C and if that’s not twinning I don’t know what is. I had Rachel too but… it just hurts to think about it now. I thought I had it with someone else but… I think I read more into than what it is. And some people you just... always have a connection with.

could you live as a hermit?

A complete hermit? Not at all. I’m way too nosy and waiting for gossip sites to post new things would get real old real fast. Although I do get the appeal

how would you describe your gender/sexuality?

cis-lady and well ask me on a day someone loves me. a solid three on the kinsey scale.

do you feel like your outside appearance is a fair representation of the “real you”?

Brown eyes, might possibly smell like acrylic paint, kinda thick? It’s true and you should say it.

on a scale from 1 to 10, how hard is it for someone to get under your skin?

I’m a Leo take that as you will.

three songs that you connect with right now.

1. Poke Bowl- Radiant Children 2. UMI Says- Mos Def 3. Get Through- rum.gold

pick one of your favorite quotes.

“You wanna fly, you got to give up the shit that weighs you down.” - Toni Morrison

#cporttask01 #cporttask

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twistednuns · 6 years

Text

September 2018

I spent the first week of September in Bali. I got my advanced diver's license and did my navigation dive with David in PadangBai. For the night and wreck dive I went up to Tulamben (and had the driver teach me how to open my chakras and read someone's aura - he even made me connect with my mother who wrote me an e-mail a few hours later asking if something was wrong because she had felt me very strongly) where I ate the very best tempeh satay skewers and fried eggplant at Warung Rusti (with a 90s playlist in the background - "Shalalalala!").

That night dive deserves it's own bullet point: It was the first time for me, I had never been under water at night before. After saying that I met real-life Gary (Spongebob's pet snail) I'll just include the message I wrote to a friend that night: Das war gerade so bombastisch. Mein erster Nachttauchgang, ich wusste überhaupt nicht was mich erwartet, und dann war das gleichzeitig noch ein Wracktauchgang - ich hatte das Wrack vorher noch nicht gesehen. Wow. Du steigst einfach nach Einbruch der Dunkelheit direkt am Strand ins Wasser und tauchst ab. Nach ein paar Minuten taucht plötzlich ein riesiger Schatten vor dir auf - die USAT Liberty. Könnte auf den ersten Blick allerdings auch ein Blauwal sein... Ich kann's gar nicht beschreiben. Du hast nur eine Taschenlampe dabei, auf einer Seite siehst du vage Schemen vom Boot das von hinten manchmal von anderen Tauchern angeleuchtet wird, auf der anderen Seite nur Dunkelheit, schwarze Tiefe. Das Allerbeste ist allerdings, die Taschenlampe auszumachen. Wenn man im stockfinsteren Wasser mit den Armen wirbelt, erzeugt man hunderte kleine Luftbläschen, die wie leuchtende Funken aussehen. Magisch! Hat das was mit Biolumineszenz zu tun? Muss recherchieren. Das ist so ein geiles Gefühl. Mitten im Nichts, in der Dunkelheit, um dich rum nur Wasser. Ständig am Überlegen, ob man nicht doch noch spontan Panik kriegen soll. Beim Auftauchen siehst du die Sterne über dir, den Mars, die Milchstraße. Vom Ufer siehst du das Meer an manchen Stellen milchig türkis aufblitzen - wo die Taucher tief unter der Wasseroberfläche das Wrack anleuchten.

Climbing a fucking volcano in the middle of the night. Seriously, climbing Mount Batur must be one of the most challenging things I've ever done. I wasn't ready for this. Getting up at 1am, only a weak flashlight against the darkness, shorts and a thin jacket against the cold. I got scratches, killed my knees, my lungs were angry as well. I fell. And I still don't know how but somehow I made it to the top. So I sat there, shivering, wet, in the thin air surrounded by clouds. Listening to Krishna Das because that's what I kept doing in quiet moments during my trip. So I witnessed the moon and the stars vanishing, the night growing fainter, the sunrise behind Mount Agung. Walking downhill wasn't any easier (I'll never be able to get the black earth stains out of my jeans) but I managed. My reward: an organic tomato for breakfast, straight from the field. And soaking in hot spring water at Toya Devasya. They had an infinity pool right in front of Lake Batur, just what I needed - even though I only started to notice how many of my muscles were mad at me.

Later, I went to Ubud where I took part in a cleansing/blessing ceremony at the Holy Spring Water Temple, Pura Tirta Empul. We got green bathing sarongs and made an offering before we got cleansed and "talked" to the spirits in the pool. In the afternoon we met a Balinese healer who basically only confirmed what I already knew. I must be on the right track, I suppose. Later I talked to Alex from the UK on the backseat of our car while the others had coffee. We were born one day apart and felt that there were a lot of similarities in our biographies. He asked me for advice on his panic attacks and what he could do about the mask he keeps wearing so that nobody gets to know the real Alex. It felt like a therapy session but I loved how open you can be around a total stranger.

Ubud treats: daily massages, affordable lash extensions, health food everywhere (Smoothie bowls! Veggie wraps! Goddess bowls! Oh, and Gelato Secrets, not healthy at all but delicious), a successful ring quest (good luck trying to find gold jewellery in Bali... but in the end I managed to find a gorgeous ring with a bluish green stone) and a whole day in a batik workshop where I learned the traditional technique from locals. Worth mentioning: the little girls dancing for us at the healer's place - especially the goofy, chubby one with her puppy and the girl in pink who would exaggerate the traditional eye movements and made me laugh / Riding a scooter - this time as a passenger on the back. The gorgeous view of the countryside north of Ubud. / Talking to the Canadian newlyweds about the NHL while having lunch with a view over the rice terraces. /

Magic for Humans

The stories Richard and Star Wars in Benedict Wells' new short story collection Die Wahrheit über das Lügen.

Silence. Thank you, ear plugs. I don't leave the house without Ohropax and a good book.

Children of Time by Adrian Tchaikovsky. More or less the first science fiction book I've ever read but MAN that one is SMART. It's a take on human culture, mirrored by a tribe of very unexpected sentient animals. Worth mentioning: my new Kobo e-reader and OnLeihe (where you can get e-books from the library).

So I'm officially an adult now. Every single thing on this list is true for me. I don't really know why I'm putting this on my Things I Love list since it is pretty scary but at the same time I feel weirdly good about it.

Seeberger's trail mix salty/fruity with rhubarb, banana chips, almonds, peanuts, cranberries and physalis.

Celebrating autumn - even though I had a beautiful summer I'm kinda looking forward to sweater weather, crinkly leaves, gothic novels and pumpkin soup.

George Harrison with a beard and long hair was such a gorgeous human being. Listening to his songs on repeat at the moment.

Spending a day at the Isar with my students. We made a fire, they tought me how to skip stones (no talent) and after a while we couldn't bear the sun anymore so we just hopped into the river in our underwear. We walked along the gravel bank and allowed the water to carry us back to the others. I had such a good time.

What a musical conductor actually does on stage - such an interesting video, especially after many seasons of Mozart in the Jungle.

I know I've probably already said it but this recipe is absolutely delicious. Perfect for autumn. Not bad either: spelt crepes with a creamy chanterelle/champignon filling.

Finally finding a way to do a shoulder stand in yoga class even though my stomach muscles aren't strong enough.

Spending the evening with Manu. Who thinks I'm prettier without make-up. Who played with my hair. Who cooked for me. Who looked gorgeous that night. I mean, come on, open denim shirt over a hairy chest, wavy hair in a man bun with loose strands - that's just unfair. He played the guitar and we sang together. Trying to find a good duet to perform on Thursday (karaoke night!), ending up singing along to every weird song we could think of.

Nursing a yellow bell pepper plant back to health.

Sitting under a blanket outside, a captivating book on my lap, Dunkelgrün fast schwarz, watching the clouds being blown away by the warm autumn winds, flying leaves, deep in thoughts. The smell of family dinner in the air, the light fading away. A sense of longing in combination with melancholia and thoughts occuring on a meta-level, probably the result of too much writing, reading, dreaming, spending time alone.

A matte top coat turns Essie's Bahama Mama nail polish into pure velvet. I love the look and feel of it. So much more elegant and understated than shiny polish.

Give up comfort

My first karaoke night in Munich at Keg with Manu and Bibi. Performing together - my favourite was Because of You by Kelly Clarkson even though we were really bad. The atmosphere was pretty great. There were a lot of Brits around, probably because of the Oktoberfest. Folks were swinging a huge double-ended dildo around, we all danced with each other and I taught everyone German swear words. The good kind. After a few beers I just walked up to Manu (and Bibi!) and we started kissing. I kissed a GIRL and I liked it! Being thirty and somewhat confident is such a blessing. A lot of people kept saying that Manu and I should be a couple. Promising! Especially the girl who sang the Adele songs (and nailed it - voice twins!) was shipping us. Daw.

Dinner at Lena and Obi's wedding location. The waitress showed us around. I feld very grown-up asking questions and acting all responsible and busy.

Going shopping with Lena, trying to find a wedding dress for her. Falling in love with the coats at Zara. Unfortunately I still need to lose some weight in order to buy my clothes there.

Wondering how people actually perceive me. Sometimes I get the feeling that they see me as an angry feminist. But while being a feminist is totally fine with my - I guess I gotta work on my anger issues.

AnderART festival at Odeonsplatz - singing Wonderful Life with Ian, Jens and the GoSingChoir!

Meeting Manu L. at the Alcest concert. I liked talking to him that night. It was only the two of us and I liked how honest he was. And that he gave me a new, less emotional perspective on the whole deal with Frank.

Wearing black jeans, my new checked shirt, dark-rimmed glasses, a huge, soft grey scarf. Doc Martens. A headband.

Treating myself to a 100ml bottle of Byredo's Super Cedar perfume. I smell damn fine now.

On a Friday morning there was a cat downstairs in the subway station. She hung around at a corner and permitted me to pet her. She even jumped a little to meet my hand halfway. Very good start into the day.

#things i love #personal #present perfect #september #2018 #september 2018

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