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#sorry for serious and non-fandom post.

playawner · 3 months

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Please, don't ignore what's happening in Chile right now. The fires has been invading our cities, our regions, and has taken many nature as well as people and houses. No person deserves to lose their house, their relatives, their pets, or EVEN their own life.

I myself saw the fires when it happened, they nearly went to my own house. I was able to see the smoke and fire at my own windows. It was bad until the point where we didn't had light for a day and internet for entire days, with terrible signal instead. If it wasn't for the wind, or for the firefighters and support attending in time, I would probably be homeless right now. Either that, or just dead.

We need your support, our cities are currently in danger by the ranging wildfires, and it is confirmed to be more terrible than any past events we had before. Any support is appreciated, even by just bringing small awaraness!

If you are Chilean, you can donate to the firefighters via BancoEstado, is at the first option in the reccomended foundations at the moment. I believe someone also made a paypal for people who aren't from Chile, if you have the link you can send it in reblogs!

Spanish translation below cut:

Por favor, no ignoren lo que está pasando en Chile. Los incendios han estado invadiento nuestras ciudades, nuestras regiones, y han quitado nuestra naturaleza, gente y hogares. Ninguna persona merece perder su casa, sus parientes, sus mascotas, o INCLUSO su propia vida.

Yo mismo ví el fuego cuando ocurrió. Casi llegó hacia mi propia casa. Podía ver el humo y el fuego en mis propias ventanas. Fue tan terrible que no tuvimos luz por un día ni internet por varios días, con terrible señal. Si no fuera por el viento, o por los bomberos y la atención hacía este a tiempo, lo más probable es que estuviera en la calle ahora. Eso o que estuviera muerto.

Necesitamos tu apoyo, nuestras ciudades corren peligro, y se ha confirmado que es más catastrófico que cualquier otro evento que tuvimos en el pasado. Cualquier apoyo es apreciado, incluso teniendo algo de conciencia!

Si eres Chileno/a, puedes donar a los bomberos en BancoEstado. Es en la primera opción en las fundaciones recomendadas por ahora. Yo creo que alguién también hizo un paypal para las personas que no viven en Chile, si tienen el link puedes mandarlo en los reblogs!

#sorry for serious and non-fandom post.#I just. Really hope people will aknowledge this #I nearly lost my house in the fire #As someone who has been in Chile for his entire life I am deeply affected by the wildfires #anything regarding to fire in real life scares me; I cannot imagine myself surviving in one #and seeing my ACTUAL classmates; friends AND relatives losing their houses and/or other friends/relatives/etc is very disheartening #zash's stuff #important #Chile #Chilean artist #Wildfire #fire mention #fire #wildfire mention #death mention #Chile is on fire #chile tumblr #I may be a small acc on tumblr. And english heavy. Pero sigo siendo de mi país y siempre lo fuí de nacimiento

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demobatman · 11 months

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wanna make a post just saying i am trying my hardest to participate in media i like in the most normal way i can and if i ever do anything to step out of that boundary please let me know 👍 not that i think i have, just for future reference :)

#sometimes i see things that leave terrible tastes in my mouth and i hope that i never do that to someone else #serious posting sorry #very happy online! wanna keep it that way :)#this sounds so serious for like. a fandom post but i see bad things. Bad things...#el voice Bad Place....#very fortunate for the support i get on my art too it rocks #personal #non st #<- i mean it is but

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hellothere-generalangsty · 2 years

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You know what I'm gonna say it because it needs to be said

But tbh the biggest reason I just stopped writing/ posting fics here is because there is like. No interaction.

The only peeps interacting (as in commenting/ reblogging with comments or tags THEY wrote) I count on ONE hand. And I don't even use all of my fingers.

It's actually discouraging to spend a full night typing a 2k+ and being so exited about what I write and so excited to share it and have opinions and people freaking out over it

And when I post it to only see a chain of likes in my notifs.

It just feels bland. Sorry if it's harshly said, but likes means nothing on tumblr. It's not Instagram here. You can do more than press a button and keep scrolling.

It costs zero to leave a comment, to reblog with funny tags or with reaction pics and a sentence or two about how you feel/ what you think of the fic.

I came on Tumblr almost a year ago, and I remember how ALIVE Tumblt felt back then. I would post a fic at 3 am, go to sleep and wake up at 10 am with like 37 reblogs with comments and 15 comments and 6 reblogs with tags

AND IT WOULD KEEP GOING THROUGHOUT THE DAY

And now?

The last fic I posted had 8 reblogs, 3 of which where MY OWN SELF REBLOGS.

It just. It just breaks my heart to be very honest. I loved to write fics here. I loved to share it with people and have these interactions, these reactions; having more. More than mindless likes.

Likes do nothing here. Some people will say "liking is still appreciated, but please try to reblog/ comment as well!" and I'm tired of this "beg nicely" attitude because no, I don't appreciate your likes anymore.

I'm tired of begging for interactions, tired of seeing a not if pop up and brush it away because I know it's another "like". Tired of scrolling through my notifs to see these condensed notifs where "@biduletrucmuchemachinchose, @bidulemachin and 15 others liked your post" . Tired of spending hours - if not DAYS - on fics and see them flop. It's something I do on my free time, for free. The least you can do if you really "like" a fic, is to SAY SO. With WORDS. Because I'm tired of this.

That's not why I came back on Tumblr.

That's certainly not why I'm staying here, either. I stay for the few friends/ mutuals I have and talk to, I stay to act on my words and not just complain. I stay to reblog and comment and leave funny tags on people's fics and art, because I know that's what I want. And I remember how happy it used to make me.

Anyway.

Idk I was feeling good I was reading all the comments I have on my fics and then I realised which fics were written later (November/ December 2021) because they have lots of likes but zero comments/ only a few reblogs.

Double anyway.

That's all for me. Not sorry for the long post, I needed to get it out of my chest.

Tl;dr - INTERACT WITH CONTENT CREATORS. Leave comments. Reblog stuff. Add nice tags. but for the love of EVERYTHING drop the like button. This is not Twitter, this is not Instagram, this is not Tiktok. This is Tumblr. Likes mean nothing here, Reblogs and Comments do.

#not sorry for that rant #if you think it's aggressive just think of me sitting in my bed sleep-deprived and typing non-stop to post a fic #and only getting 3 to 8 reblogs on it but 13 or 25 or 37 likes.#I really hope people will be more active during the holidays #because I really miss the sense of community we had here #triple anyway #I'm gonna use my free time for myself now #and you know what? tagging the fandom I'm mostly thinking about because.#star wars #star wars fic #star wars art #sw fics #sw fic #star wars fics #mesa shitposts #except it's not a shitpost it's serious

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queers-gambit · 4 months

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Opening Night and Open Hearts

prompt: opening night - a mother's fear, a locked walk-in freezer, confessions through a thick metal door, questioning what's deserved, and a proposal at The Bear after hours.

pairing: Carmen 'Carmy' Berzatto x female!reader

fandom masterlist: FX's The Bear

word count: 9.8k+

note: i think i give enough background for you guys to feel as if you don't need to read any other relating works, but i linked the fics that could be read as a small series (maybe?) also let author be lonely in peace

warnings: reader nicknamed Peach, established relationship, cursing, spoilers, fluff, angst, relationship angst, hurt and comfort, Carmy still (desperately) needs a nap, depiction of physical illness, boys are dumb and emotions are hard, reader-insert, depiction of toxic family, OC Carmy that grovels a lot, not edited!

⚠️ season two, episode ten spoilers

not necessary to read, but other relating works with Peach:

Dinner at the Homesick Restaurant

God's Plan part two: Two to Tango

Neon Sticky Notes

"Hi, yes, I can hear you - sorry about that, I was just making note of your reservation," you spoke smoothly into the phone, trying not to ogle your boyfriend wrapped in only a clean blue towel. "So, that's a party of four for Monsieur Claude Badeaux - all right, that's so lovely. I'm obligated to remind everyone that tonight's opening is a fine dining experience and the proper, corresponding dress code is being asked for. Are there any allergies I should make note of for your party?"

"Jean Paul has a tree nut allergy," you were told.

"All right, that's noted and highlighted: Jean Paul has a tree nut allergy. If there's anything else I could help you with?"

"Non," he chuckled. "I was surprised to see your invitation to this evening, though, mon cher. It's been so long, yes?"

"Well, it was my pleasure to extend the offer, we're ecstatic by your reservation," you chuckled. "We'll see you tonight, Monsieur, and should you need anything before then, you may call this number again."

You said your parting words in French, smiling at Carmy when you hung up and dropped your work phone. "Did I hear that correct?" Your lover asked with a broad grin, "Was that...?"

"Senior marketing advisor at The Washington Post?" You filled in for him. "Uh, yeah, I think it was, but you know me - I could be wrong."

"You invited someone from The Washington Post to the opening tonight?"

"Is that okay?" You asked, standing from the bed after making note in your datebook. "You look kinda - I don't know, shocked?"

"I-I am," he blinked at you, watching you gather his pristine clothing to hang on the closet door. "But in a good way - I can't believe you did this," he chuckled, wiping his mouth. "I mean - holy shit, Peaches."

You offered a toothy grin, "Figured I could pull a few of my own strings to help get the word out about your love-child."

This made Carmy snicker, "Hey, now. Tonight's important, don't make fun."

"I know," you nodded, leading him back into the bathroom to view your hair products. "Which is why I invited some important people and some not-so important people. I know this is serious, Carmy," you smiled at him, hoping to convey your support, "and I wanted to help in whatever way I could."

"You being there tonight is more than I could ask for," he chuckled, helping you onto the small bathroom counter. You squirted a bit of hair product in your hand, watching him flinch back a little, "Uh, I just don't want my hair greasy, Peach, you know? Not a good look and I'll sweat it out in the kitchen."

"I feel like I should be offended by you having no trust in me," you teased, insisting, "I know whatcha need, baby, lemme help."

Carmy smiled softly and held still, letting you run your hands through his curls to push everything back and away from his forehead in a stylish but manageable "do". There was a silent, serene moment as you and Carmy just existed together in a mundane space, his big, sad eyes watching your face as you worked. He wondered, "Think tonight's gonna be okay?"

"I think tonight's gonna be more than okay," you assured softly. "I think tonight's gonna go better than you're anticipating."

He sighed and planted his hands on either side of you, suddenly dropping his gaze. "I, uh... Sugar invited Mom t'tonight..."

"Yeah, I know."

"You know?"

"Sugar and I are still friends outside of us dating, Carmy," you smiled patiently, slowing your hands so you more toyed with his curls; pushing some strands behind his ears. "She needs someone as much as you do and I don't mind."

"But isn't that what Pete's for?"

"Yes, but you know, Pete's Pete."

Carmy snorted, "Yeah, yeah, good point."

"I don't know if she'll show up tonight, Bear, but whether she does or doesn't, it won't matter - you're not doing this for her. This is for you, Carmy, tonight's about The Bear opening - it's about you and this incredible, amazing thing you've done. Okay?" You caressed both his cheeks in your hands so he could only look at you directly. "If she shows, that's great," you whispered with a soft smile as your thumbs swept the apples of his cheeks, "and if she doesn't, it won't make tonight any less special. That, I can promise."

Carmy's forehead met yours, both pausing to breathe together; peace always a fleeting feeling as of late and being something you both capitalized on. You brought him in closer for an embrace, his face burying in your neck as your arms snaked around his to keep him as close as possible. His arms were tight around your waist, legs spread to accommodate him; both needing the feel of being close before that night's inevitable stressful event.

"Wow, well, don't you look all pretty! Wow, Peach," Pete greeted you when you scurried to the table with your friend in tow. "Oh, hi there!"

"Pete, this is my best friend, Danielle, and Dani, this is Pete, Sugar's husband."

"Hi, it's really nice to meet you," your friend greeted, the two instantly chattering as they both just blew past their introductions to instantly compliment one another's clothes. You smirked, knowing they'd get along famously, and looked around the brand new, packed restaurant.

"Hey, there she is, my pretty girl," Richie greeted smoothly, approaching your standing form to slide his hand around your shoulders.

"Hi, Cousin," you beamed, offering him a hug in greeting. "The place looks fantastic - it's so - I mean - just wow, Richie," you complimented. "You guys did such an amazing job. I need to tell Fak, too, this is - you guys should be so proud, it looks incredible. Hardly can believe what it was before this."

"It really is something, huh?" He grinned. "Hey, Pete," he nodded.

"Hey, Richie."

"And you must be the famous, the fabulous Miss Danielle?"

"That's me," your friend grinned. "You're Richie, right? Carmy's cousin who's not really a cousin but is as good as blood?"

"Yes, ma'am, the very same," he nodded with pride. "We've some drinks coming your way in just a moment, but I need to borrow Peach for just one second."

"Why do they call her Peach?" Dani asked, but Richie was leading you away as Pete was heard answering,

"Oh, because she mastered this peach cobbler with Carmy's mom, Donna, and she started the nickname..."

"What's wrong?" You asked softly with a smile as to not give the illusion to others that you were worried. "What can I do to help?"

"No, no, nothing too bad, you were just requested by the Frenchie-French guy."

"Oh, right, that's right, yeah, I can help with that," you sighed gently, smiling as you approached the table. Greeting the two men and women was easy, Richie impressed by your connections in the professional world. Tonight, The Washington Post didn't just dine with them - no, it was also the director of social media for three luxury, designer brands: Jean-Paul.

Yes, the man was so elusive that he just went by Jean-Paul. Fuck a last name!

Either way, it impressed Richie to hear the introductions. The two women were executives in their own companies, names Richie didn't catch because he was busy taking note of the way Mr. Frenchie-French was basically eye fucking you in front of them all.

"Well," Richie smiled stiffly, "tonight's incredibly special for us. In fact, uh, Y/N's boyfriend is the owner and head chef."

"Really?" Frenchie-French perked his brows, shifting his gaze over to you. "You always had a soft spots for chefs, non? For those who were versed in the culinary arts?"

"Well, mostly I appreciated a man in the kitchen simply because I burn water and would probably unintentionally starve myself," you teased easily, deflecting the man's subtle dig. "I'm actually here with family tonight, so, please, ladies and gentlemen, enjoy tonight - I know I'm biased when I say the food is exceptional, but I look forward to your own opinions."

"We will talk later, mon cher, I am sure there will be plenty to discuss," the Frenchman promised, kissing the back of your hand as you let Richie lead you away by your free hand.

You released a long sigh, muttering, "Bring them a bottle of real champagne, please, Richie, I had a few bottles imported just for them. Listen closely," you lowered your voice as you both paused on the side of the dining room, "bring them a bowl of thin sliced strawberries sprinkled in sugar and pop the cork at their table - it's impressive for whatever reason."

Richie pecked your temple and gave you a tight squeeze, "I got it all covered, girly. You all right? Look like you're gonna be sick?"

"Just men being men grosses me out, I guess," you sighed with a small shrug. "He's always had a thing for me, I figured I'd use that to get him here tonight - Carmy's work speaks for itself, but maybe he'd be inclined to publish an article or two for us if I play nice."

Richie paused you a few feet from your table, complimenting, "I hope Carmy knows he doesn't deserve you, Peach."

"You said years ago neither of us did," you smirked gently. "Said I wasn't relationship material, right? Remember?"

"I was wrong," he nodded. "I even said y'all would never be serious, but..." He scoffed to himself, "I've never seen that boy so crazy about anyone in his life. You've really changed him, Peach. I don't really know how to thank you."

"You can start by buttering up those flirty Frenchmen," you teased, giving his cheek a peck.

"On it," he winked, parting from your side.

Inside the kitchen some twenty minutes later, Richie approached Carmy, directing his attention, "Cousin?"

"Yo."

"Peach is on 17 with Pete."

"Okay."

"Go say hi."

"Yeah, eventually," Carmy nodded absently, never halting his work.

"Eventually?" Richie repeated with distain, something in his stomach twisting.

"Where the fuck is Josh!?" Carmy called into the kitchen, another chef echoing his concerns.

"Yo!" Richie barked as calmly as he could, "Just go say hi to your girl, Cousin."

"Yo, I'll go when I have a minute," Carmy deflected strongly. "I'm in the fuckin' shit, leave me the fuck alone."

"What? I'm saying - "

"I'll get there when I can get there!"

"I'm saying!"

"What?" Carmy barked.

"She's got important fucking people in that dining room, man," Richie scoffed, hands held up in defense. "Just for your ungrateful ass! Maybe the least you can do is go say fuckin' hi - even if you're fuckin' busy. She knows that, it'd be a nice gesture - or whatever fuckin' shit - I don't know! She's your girl!"

"Yeah! Exactly!" Carmy barked. "She's my fuckin' girl, she knows the fuckin' drill, I'll go say fuckin' hi when I get the fuckin' chance, Richie! Fuck's sake! Always tryna meddle and shit!"

"Jesus, fuck," Richie sighed, turning out of the kitchen with his hands waving Carmy off in defeat.

You were none the wiser, entertained by Pete and Dani's gabbing as Sugar was in-and-out, dealing with all the little things going wrong. These little things came to her in the form of notes left at the table subtly for her to go solve, you wanting to help but being shot down every time. Eventually, Carmy was approaching your table with a tray of food, shocking you slightly.

"Hey, Peach," He greeted softly, lowering the tray to balance on the table and lean over to kiss your cheek. "You look gorgeous, baby, wow," he complimented in a whisper, offering another quick kiss.

"Thank you, Chef," you smiled brightly, touching his forearm in a sign of affection. "What's all this you've got for us?"

He hummed and explained what he set on the table in front of you guys; eyes alight and cheeks flushed from the heat of the kitchen. He poured whatever sauce came with the main dish, smiling at Dani, nodding to Pete, then looking to you.

"I'll check on you later, all right, baby?" He mumbled, watching you nod. "I gotta get back," he whispered, "but thank you for being here, my pretty girl."

"No where else I'd rather be, Cream," you rushed, letting his lips find yours briefly.

"Stick around after, would you? When we close, just... Don't leave yet."

"Yes, Chef," you whispered against his lips with a grin. He gave one single more kiss before pulling away to stand upright.

"Enjoy," he bid the table before walking away.

"So, like," Dani trailed after making sure Carmy was out of earshot, "when's the wedding? 'Cause that might've been the cutest thing I've seen. I mean, opening night, he's cooking, but paused to come serve us? Serve you? And he's so soft with you, kissin' you, bein' all cute," she pouted dramatically. "I want a reason to wear a maid of honor dress, please."

"Hey, hey, chill on us. There's no wedding," you sighed with a small laugh, trying to play off how the subject made your stomach twist. "We haven't really talked about it, you know? No biggie."

"What?" She sputtered. "Wait, hang on. Y'all have been together - like - a stupid, ridiculous amount of time. The fuck you mean you haven't talked about it? What are y'all doing, just ignoring the elephant in the room?"

You shrugged lightly, "I don't know, we know if we ever got married, it'd be to each other, but that's really it. We know we want to be together, we know we want to marry each other, but there's been no serious conversation about it."

"Uh, does that sound right to you?" Dani asked Pete.

He shook his head as you all took dainty bites of food to savor the flavors (and save Sugar some). "When I knew with Natalie, I didn't hesitate."

"Well, Carmy isn't like you, Pete," you defended. "He's got a lot on his plate, too, you know?"

"You've said that since Mikey," Dani frowned, her voice quiet.

"With good reason, don't you think? Carmy's just - he's just going through a lot right now and it's a challenge, you know?"

"No, it's more like Carmy's got the emotional intelligence of a fucking teaspoon!"

"Hey," you snapped, "that's not his fault, he doesn't know much better, so watch your mouth."

"He does with you, like... He knows better when he's with you, when it comes to you, Peach," Pete offered softly. "Look, maybe Danielle has a point - it is a little weird. I mean, you guys have been together, what? Six, almost seven years? Creeping up on a decade of just dating - that's a long time. And didn't you guys do that weird little half-dating thing for two years before making it official? Don't you think that's enough time to know if you want to marry someone, and then, you know? Actually marry them? Or at least ask them?"

"Sure, maybe to other people, but Carmy and I have never been conventional, so, I don't see why we need to start now."

Danielle scoffed, "Look, God love Carmy and everything, but you're just wasting time now. He needs to either commit or let you find someone who can actually love you like you deserve."

"Oh, and Carmy doesn't?"

"Wasn't all that long ago that you two took a break 'cause he called you clingy - and some other unsavory terms," Danielle shrugged. "Doesn't really sound like someone who loves you unconditionally - the way you should be loved."

You sighed and sat back in your chair, "I appreciate the insight, but Carm and I are fine. Okay? We've got years under our belts, we don't want to fuck up what obviously works for us so chill out on the questions, okay? I don't have answers to them."

Danielle and Pete shared a look before the man got up to excuse himself to the restroom. You and Dani finished your meals before sipping your wine, waiting for Pete, but Dani sighed, "This lady's been staring in here for, like, ten minutes already. It's freezing, doesn't she want to come in?"

"Hmm? What're you - ?"

"This lady on the street," your friend pointed over her shoulder towards the window her back was now turned to.

When you peaked out, you gasped lightly when you saw Donna Berzatto smoking a cigarette. "Oh, shit!" You stood from your seat, rushing, "Okay, so, uh, yeah - just - can you just sit here for a second? I have to go handle that."

"Who is it?" Dani wondered earnestly.

"I got it, Peach," Pete told you, passing by the table swiftly with a hand patting your shoulder to keep you at your table.

"What the hell's happening?" Dani asked. "Who is that?"

"Nothing, no one, it's okay, I think that's someone we know, just, uh, hang on a second? We'll be right back."

"Sure," she nodded in confusion, watching you get from your seat and follow Pete out the door onto the blistering cold sidewalk.

"Hey, Mama Donna," you greeted happily, arms crossing over your chest to protect from the wind. "Have you been inside yet? We saved you a seat and all, but isn't this - just wow?" You grinned, trying to encourage her to say anything about her children's hard work.

"Oh, no, no, not you, too, Peach, why are you here?" She groaned lightly, looking upset and close to tears.

"I'm here 'cause of Carmy? I-It's opening night, yeah?" You offered in confusion. "Why? What's wrong, Mama D?" You worried, glancing at an emotional Pete.

"No, it's just, I can't come in, I can't, just no," she backed away, only now making you notice the way Pete cried. "I'm so sorry, Peach, honey, but I was never here. Okay? I-I'll call them later, I swear, I promise, I'll call them - but I-I-I wasn't here. Okay? You can't tell them I was here. I'm so sorry."

"Donna, don't do this," you begged, head shaking. "Don't, please. Just come in with Pete and I - just sit there for a bit. Just come in and see what your kids have done - Donna, it's so beautiful. You'd be so proud, but you should really see it for yourself - "

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I can't, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, not tonight, no, I'm sorry, I can't," she deflected in a rambling mumble, turning and hustling down the sidewalk with her head shaking like a Etch-A-Sketch.

You rounded on Pete, "What the hell was that? Pete, what just happened?"

"Um, I-I don't - I didn't mean to."

"Pete? What didn't you mean?"

"She didn't tell her mom about the baby," he rushed, tears falling. "Nat didn't tell Donna, Peach, and I think I just did - I think I just fucked up and told her."

"Oh, no... No, Pete, you didn't."

"I didn't mean to! I swear it was an accident!"

"No, I know you didn't mean to, honey," you rushed, opening your arms to bring him in for a tight hug. "Oh, you poor boy, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Pete."

He sighed, "I'm sorry, too, Peach."

"For what?"

"That... We fell in love with Berzattos and this is our new normal now, right?" He sniffled.

You half-smiled, "Yeah, something like that. But it's okay. See, where Donna's afraid to give her love, neither of us are. Sugar and Carm deserve that from us, right? To be authentic and just love them?"

He nodded, "Yeah, you're right."

"And that's all we gotta do... Is love them, Pete."

"God knows where else they'd get it," he huffed, wiping his face. "Hey, um, I'll be in, in a second - I just need a minute alone, I think, in the cold."

"Take all the time you need," you agreed.

"We're not - we're not telling them about this, right?"

You sighed, "No, I don't think so - at least right now. It might hurt them more, you know? To know Donna was here, but never came in. That she ran away... Again. It'll hurt, they deserve to be happy about tonight."

Pete nodded rapidly, looking like he was gonna burst into tears. Instead of going back inside, you just moved to Pete's side and stood there; producing a cigarette, lighting it, offering Pete a drag that he turned down, and the both of you just standing silently; one smoking, one crying, both processing.

"Wow, look at these gorgeous ladies! By far the baddest in the whole place! Yeah, man!" Fak teased as he approached you and Danielle after closing the The Bear officially. "What a privilege to have you both dine with us this evening! Ugh, truly an honor to see you both here," he praised comically, evening giving a small bow that his brother mimicked.

Your eyes rolled, "You're laying it on really thick when I already tipped you." He snickered with Theo. "Hey, seriously, though, tonight was incredible. I mean, it was all so beautiful, you should all be so proud."

"Oh, we are," Neil giggled, his brother hanging off his shoulders.

"Good," you teased. "Uh, is now an okay time to go back and see him? Kinda wanna offer my compliments to the chef directly, you know?"

"No," Fak answered instantly, "uh, well, probably not the best time."

"Yeah, probably not," Theodore echoed.

"I can sense you two ramping up to something," you sighed, "so, I'm gonna ask you skip all that and tell me what's wrong. Why can't I go see my boyfriend? He just had an incredibly successful opening night, I kinda wanna kiss him if you don't mind."

"Um, well, h-he didn't want you to worry, so, he said not t'tell you, but, uh... Yeah, no, Carmy's, like, locked in the walk-in freezer. Han Solo style."

"What?"

"Locked in the walk-in," Fak nodded rapidly, "yeah, no, the handle - like, the whole handle came off. He's locked in, Peach..."

"Oh, my fucking God," you breathed. "Are you saying he - he missed opening night? Neil!"

"Yeah, kinda... Well, sorta - I mean, technically, but - "

"Oh, Jesus," you breezed past them all.

"Mmm-mmm, the fridge guy's name is Terry," Tina corrected Carmy, flinching a little when he slapped the other side of the metal door he was locked behind.

"See, th-tha-that's what I'm talking about!" Carmy raged. "I'm so fucking distracted, and for what? For fucking what? 'Cause of a girl?" He chuckled ruefully to himself.

"Nuh-uh, don't do that, Carmy," Tina scolded. "That's not no girl, that's your girl, that's Peach - you don't lash out at her, baby."

"Yo, maybe - maybe I'm just not built for this. Right? Maybe that's okay! Maybe that just is. She'd be better off, Tina... I'm just - I'm not built for this."

But what Carmy didn't hear was Sydney asking Tina to cover her at the front because she needed to step out the back, get some air; Tina accepting and telling Carm to hang on a moment. Something he missed. While Tina took Syd's spot, Syd rushed outside, and you slipped in the kitchen door; Carmy being surrounded by shitty ripped tape and an entire side full of the flowers he had brought in for tonight - for you. It was a haunting reminder; something suffocating.

When you got to the walk-in, you were prepared to call out for Carmy, but he started speaking from within, halting any word on your tongue.

"I wasn't here b-because I was looking a-a-at fucking engagement rings when the fridge guy fuckin' called," Carmy ranted, your heart stalling in your chest. "Right? Like, what the fuck was I thinking? Like I was gonna get married? Commit to this relationship? Be h-her fucking husband or some shit? Have a fucking wife? I'm a fucking - I'm a fuckin' psycho!" He laughed a little, the tears springing to your eyes as his words disarmed your heart and emotional dam. "That's why! That's why I'm good at what I do! That's how I operate! I am the best because I didn't have any of this fuckin' bullshit, right? I could - I could focus and I could concentrate and I had a routine and I - and I had fuckin' cell reception, and Peach and I just had our own routine! We didn't need this extra bullshit, and now..."

You just listened, leaning on the freezer's door, tears silently leaking down your cheeks as you had the horrendous realization that you were what now slowed Carmy down. You were what currently stood in his way, when this whole time, you thought you were helping; making things easier; supporting him. No... No, his words rattled your heart to accept that you were now the bane; the object of his ire. You and your relationship was what was wrong and was causing Carmy hurt and professional complications.

Something you never wanted to contribute towards. You both always said if this relationship got to be too hard, you'd walk away. Better to feel anger than resentment; and now, you knew you had to walk away else risk that resentment fester.

Carmy started up again, "I don't need to provide amusement or enjoyment, I don't need to be someone's 'to have and to hold'. I don't need to receive any amusement or enjoyment, nor for someone to have and hold me... And I'm completely fine with that. Because no amount of good is worth how terrible this fucking feels." You were ready to open your mouth, but he finished by nailing the final nail in the coffin of your relationship, "It's just a complete waste of fuckin' time - entertaining what I know I shouldn't. Being in this relationship, trying to give what I don't have, wasting everyone's time."

You took your chance, speaking through your tears, "I'm really sorry you feel that way, Carmen."

"Peach?" Carmy rasped from behind the door, sounding more alert than he had before. "Baby? Hey, hey, Peaches? That you? Peach - hey. Hey," he sounded desperate as you backed away from the door, a fist pounding into the metal, "hey, no, Y/N? Y/N!" The seriousness settled over you both, Carmen understanding you heard a lot more than ever intended and once those words are out there, there's no getting them back. "Y/N, baby? Hey, no, no, Y/N - listen to me - hey, no, no! I-I didn't know you were there, baby, okay? No, Y/N, please - tell me you're there now, let me explain." He paused. "Let me explain! Please! C'mon, baby, please, let me fucking explain - tell me you're still there! Y/N? Y/N!"

You sniffled and walked away, feeling smaller than you ever had in your life. You barely noticed when the kitchen door opened, not until a figured dressed in black stopped you. "Peach? Hey, hey," Richie halted you - taking note of the tears. "What's wrong? What happened? Are you okay - who fuckin' did it?"

You just stared at Richie for a long moment, opening your mouth twice before sighing and smiling sadly. "I never wanted to be what got in his way," you whispered sadly. "I'm sorry, Richie."

"Peaches, hey, what's - "

But you reached up to kiss his cheek, "Tonight was so beautiful, Cousin, and I'm so fucking proud of you all. Thank you for everything - not just tonight, Richie, but everything you do." You smiled again, whispering, "Take care of him. Okay? He'll need you."

"What're you talking about? What's going on? Where are you going? Hey, where are you going, Peach, please?"

"Have a good night, Richie, I love you," you whispered, leaving out the kitchen door as quickly as you could. "Hey," you sniffled, approaching Dani with the Fak Brothers, "can we go now, please?"

"Are you okay?" Dani worried in shock.

"I'd really like to go, Dani, please," you rushed, throwing your coat on and smiling at the Brothers as if your heart wasn't in pieces. "Thanks again for tonight, you guys, it was magical."

"Peach? Wait, hey, are you okay, baby? What just happened?" Neil worried, watching you snatch Dani's hand, but pause when screaming was heard from the kitchen. Everyone stared at the door, Neil muttering, "The fuck are they...?"

"Now, Dani, please," you whimpered to your friend, who wasted no time in escorting you out of The Bear. The moment you were outside, you burst into sobs, Dani grunting a little as she lead you down a side alley to lean you on a brick wall and beg you to breathe normally.

"What the hell just happened? Hey, honey, you need to breathe," she smoothed hair off your face - but it was like you were drowning in the air with the way you gasped and gaped and panted and whimpered and choked yourself.

"I-I-I-I think - I think w-we're done, I think we're done, I think - oh, fuck - I think we just broke up," you sobbed, hands on your knees. "Oh, my God, Dani," you whimpered, "I-I think - I think we're done, Danielle, oh, my fucking God. I-I heard things tonight that I just - I can't not know, anymore! He said - fuck! He was just so candid, he didn't know I was there so h-he was sayin' things I have t-to now confront - and I really didn't fucking want to! He just - he doesn't want to really marry me, D, and-and-and he was apparently looking a-a-a-at rings - fucking engagement rings! But then he said that w-was the issue - he missed the fridge guy's call 'cause he was looking at fucking rings for me and this is why he missed opening night - 'cause the fucking fridge broke! Oh, my God, Danielle, i-i-it's my fault, it's my fucking fault, he missed the most important night of his life and it's my fault - "

You were cut off by your stomach lurching, emptying your insides onto the pavement. The delicious appetizer, the tantalizing main course, Marcus' fresh baked bread that was delightfully soft on the inside yet baked crisp on the outside, and every bit of the sweetened dessert - all wasted on Chicago bricks.

"Okay, okay, ah, shit, just get it out, babe, there you go," Danielle held your hair, catching you in a suffocating hug once you were done puking. "I've got you, babe, I've got you. You're okay, no, hey, this isn't your fault. I've got you, come on. I think we need pints of ice cream and the saltiest pretzels we can find," she pushed some hair from your sticky forehead, pouting dramatically, "maybe some Pepto? Few Saltines and ginger ale? C'mon, we're going back to mine, there's a good girl," she coaxed you from the ground and away from the wall, "c'mon, you're stronger than this. There's my girl, here we go, just one foot in front of the other - together, with me, just like that."

You sobbed, not knowing that Sydney and her father stood listening just a few feet away behind a set of dumpsters.

The moment the freezer's door was open and Carmy was free, he was sprinting around the kitchen to grab his coat, leave Neil in charge of closing, and racing out the door as the Fak Brothers yelled at him for hurting your feelings.

"Hey, hey, hey, Chef! Carmy, wait!" Sydney chased him outside.

"No time!"

"Wait! She went with her friend!"

Carmy came to a tripping halt, catching himself before he hit the pavement before whirling around to approach her, "What?"

"Her friend? She was with some girl tonight?"

"Yeah - yeah, yeah, yeah, uh, um, that's - yeah, that's Danielle," Carmy nodded. "Her best friend, yeah, they were here tonight, sitting with Pete and Sugar."

"Listen, Carmy, I heard them when they left the restaurant... Peach was really upset, like, more upset than I've ever heard, saying you two broke up? Or something? She cried so hard, Carm, she actually threw up, it sounded like she was in genuine distress. I-I didn't know if I should've intervened, but her friend was with her and helping."

"Shit - fuck - Goddamnit," he seethed. "All right, thank you - "

"I doubt they went to your place, I think I heard her friend saying they were going to her apartment."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, great, I know where Dani lives, thanks Syd!" Carmy bid, sprinting in the other direction - never bothering with the public bus system, just running into the night. Sydney was left to sigh on the sidewalk, Neil and Theo joining her before Richie followed - all watching Carmy disappear down the sidewalk.

"He's a fucking idiot," Richie shook his head.

"What the hell even happened?" Syd asked.

"Carmy mouthed off in the walk-in, Peach heard it all," Richie supplied. "You know the dumbass was gonna propose tonight?"

"What?" Syd blinked in shock.

"Yeah," Neil tacked on, "we had a whole plan and everything. Candles, soft music, flowers - there's a bunch of flower bouquets in the walk-in."

"I'm sure that was hard for Carm to look at," Syd sympathized.

"Doesn't excuse whatever he said," Richie snapped. "She looked devastated."

"She cried so hard, she threw up in the alley," Syd frowned.

"How do you know?" Neil asked.

"I heard her," the other chef frowned. "My dad and I - we actually both heard her."

"Jesus fuck," Richie seethed.

"I mean... Should we still set up?" Theo wondered to his brother. "What if they kiss and make up, like always? Carmy might still wanna go through with the proposal, right? You know?"

"Maybe," Neil trailed, looking at Richie.

"I don't fucking know," he sighed, hands on his hips.

"She thinks they broke up, I imagine whatever she heard was pretty nasty," Sydney frowned. "Think they'll really make up tonight?"

"Let's hope," Richie sighed. "That fuckin' idiot isn't gonna find anyone better than Peach. Fuck," he looked around the city street. "All right, fuck it, fine, let's fucking set up. Not like the jackass deserves it, but let's do it for Peach."

Neil and his brother grinned at each other, turning to hustle back into The Bear - leaving Sydney and Richie on the street. No words were exchanged, just silent shakes of their heads before they followed the Faks with the intention to help set up for a proposal nobody even knew if would still happen.

The cold night burned Carmy's lungs, but it was nothing compared to the feeling of suffocation he felt earlier when listening to one of your voicemails while trapped.

Your words were sweet as pie, as they usually were; a voicemail left when you were still at work, but feeling so excited to see him that night that you just had to call him. You reminded him of the adoration and love you held for him, relaying how proud you felt - and that you knew Mikey would be, too. You were always doing that, reassuring Carmy; and maybe that's why he felt so freaked out, he wasn't used to it. Even after almost 7 years together, he just wasn't used to what he didn't know he deserved.

Because Carmy didn't think he deserved anything remotely close to love, understanding, compassion, patience, and / or reassurance.

He had sobbed out loud as he locked his phone, not having the heart to delete your message. He often never did - he liked listening to your voice on long, hard nights; it brought him peace when the world felt too loud. He also kept whatever little notes you left for him, even going as far as to get a few of your hand-drawn hearts tattooed on his forearm. One for each anniversary you've shared together. He realized he never wanted to be without you and all his doubts and fear was him projecting his own incompetence towards this relationship; so, he locked his phone, he didn't delete your message.

The moment the fridge door had been opened, Carmy was out of there, shot off like a Roman Candle - your words of love and understanding still ringing in his ears as he was freed. He needed to apologize, and he needed to apologize right fucking now.

The whole run to Danielle's apartment, Carmy wasn't sure what to say to you; mulling over different ideas in his head. He tried to plan his speech, but the only thing he could think of was how much he loved you and that the ring in his pocket weighed a hundred pounds.

He pounded at Danielle's door. Carmy paced slightly as he waited, knocking frantically, and surely waking the neighbors - but that didn't matter. All that mattered was talking to you, something he was desperate to accomplish. When the door opened, your friend offered a stale look and shook her head, "Nope."

"Dani, please," he halted the closing door, "it's all a misunderstanding, I swear to God, please, just - let me try to fix this. Please, okay? I-I need her - I fucking need her and I have to fix this 'cause she's all that matters, okay? So, let me talk to her - please. Please, Danielle!"

"Yeah? The only thing?"

"More than anyone, more than anything - more than The fucking Bear, I swear to fucking God, Danielle! Just - Just one chance, please. I-I don't know how it all got so fucked, but please, I have to try - "

"Whatever you said in that freezer, Carmen, fucking gutted her, you hear me?" Dani stood in her doorway protectively. "Should've had your ass frozen for the hurt you caused her. How the fuck do you intend on making this right? Huh? It's been almost a fucking decade, dude, if you're seriously still afraid of commitment, just fuck off and leave her alone. Let her walk away 'cause I promise, there's a line of dudes who would love to put a ring on her loyal-ass finger - "

"Please, let me fix this," Carmy begged, sounding close to tears. "I need her, Danielle, please."

"It's okay, D," a voice whispered from behind Danielle, and when she turned, you were revealed - jacket and purse in hand, looking completely exhausted, drained, and disheveled. "I'm just tired, Dani, but we have to talk about this... So, I'll go home with him and call you tomorrow, okay?"

"You sure?"

"It's a decent walk, gives us too much time to talk," you shrugged, refusing to meet Carmy's bloodshot eyes. "Thanks for tonight, sorry I was such a mess," you whispered, hugging your best friend since pre-school.

"Girl, don't you ever apologize to me. But hey, look, I don't know, you were just drowning in your tears, like, five minutes ago. Sure you really wanna go? You can stay here as long as you'd like, girl, fuck him."

"Better to work it out now than later, I guess," you whispered, letting her kiss your cheek and see you guys out.

"She calls me cryin', Carmen, I'll kick your ass," She threatened as you moved down the apartment's hall. You might've snickered just a little, but the amusement was wiped clean when you rounded the corner and came up to the elevators.

Now that it was just you two, it was dreadfully awkward.

"Baby - "

"Just - don't talk for right now, Carmen," you sighed, shaking your head. "I'm still digesting all you said."

He frowned when you walked onto the elevator without a single emotion on your face, following you, and when on the ground floor, moved out to head home. It was quiet, it was awkward; only the sounds of traffic filling the space between you as you walked.

"Listen," he started with a long sigh, "you came in at the worst time, Peach, heard some shit you shouldn't have that I-I didn't even mean. I was just," he paused, sighing, "really angry and frustrated, fucking running my mouth 'cause I didn't know what else to do."

"Sounded like I came in at the best time since you're not very forthcoming with emotions. So, hearing your confession put a lot in perspective for me, Carm."

"I was just angry, Peach," he frowned, hands deep in his pockets. "Felt like I was self sabotaging myself, I wasn't sure what else to feel. So, I just lashed out. I didn't mean it, but I just felt like being angry... So fucking angry, baby, I just - I didn't know what else to feel."

"I don't know if I can be with someone like that," you whispered. "Someone who throws our relationship under the bus when he's angry, someone who's first line of defense is apparently to blame the relationship he's been in for over half a decade with the same girl. Someone you've known your whole life..."

"Peach - "

"If it's that easy for you to just disregard us, I don't think we should continue this."

Carmy took a breath and reached out to pull you to a stop. He dug in his pocket for a moment, then showed you the black velvet jewelry box. "I was gonna propose tonight, when everyone was gone," he explained when you took the box to open gingerly. "I think because that was on my mind already, something I was more than nervous to actually do, you're right, it did become my first line of defense to blame us - not just you, baby, but us. You and me... Mostly me, though," he chuckled sadly. "You're this perfect, sweet angel who just loves me out loud when I don't deserve it, and I'm... I'm just me," he sighed, eyes reddening. "And I know I'm never gonna be enough for you, I think I started to get in my head about if you said no. How I missed the call from Terry about the fridge 'cause I was picking out an engagement ring that you didn't even want, that you rejected - rejected me; and in turn, I missed opening night, and it all just - it got to a boiling point. Look, Peach, it's never been a secret that I don't think I deserve you... But I wanted to be the man that could at least give you an honest try of my best. You've stuck by me the past seven years when you should've ran for the hills, and I knew I wanted us for life years ago - but everything was still so up in the air. So confusing. So fucked up. I figured, after opening tonight, if things went t'plan, I could propose - prove to you that we're on our feet and there weren't any rugs to be pulled."

"What if things didn't go to plan?" You whispered.

"We're kinda living it now," he admitted, hand rubbing the back of his neck. "But even if tonight was all a total failure, I know I might've still done it because it's you, Peach. It's you... I've known for years you're who I want, I just never knew how to do this - to move us forward. You're my first relationship, hopefully my only relationship, and I just didn't know how to advance us. I think when things got real for me, my insecurities crept in, and I just reacted - I didn't think."

"We always said when this wasn't healthy or when this wasn't good for us anymore, we'd walk away," you reminded. "That we'd rather be sad or angry about a breakup instead of letting resentment fester from being together."

"It's still good for me, Peach, we're still good," he whispered, stepping closer. "Is it still good for you? Or did I lose you completely tonight?"

"I don't know, Carmy, you've been lashing out a lot lately. At me specifically."

"And with The Bear now open, I-I should be okay. You know? Back to normal?"

You chuckled dryly, "I see, back to your high walls? Emotional constipation?"

"Then maybe not normal," he corrected, "because I just needed to get us here, to tonight, to opening, and then show you that it's over. Show you that part of our lives is over and we only have more adventures to look forward to. Not ones like this, though," he gestured up the street, your eyes cutting over and realizing you were back at The Bear.

"Do you really think you're a psycho?"

He chuckled, "After tonight? Yeah, pretty convinced... Plus, I, uh, I saw in the freezer the way we're labeling things - and got angry about it. Angry about the way we were tearing tape and labeling things. It was so fucking stupid, but I just - I felt so crazy. I still do, I still feel like my head doesn't make sense and I'm a bit, you know... Crazy."

You nodded slowly, "Then how can you promise me this kinda shit won't happen again?"

"I don't think I can, but I can make you the promise that I am working on it; trying to identify when I feel reactive, trying to calm that down. I'm trying, Peach, I really am - it's just... Taking a lot of time," he sighed sadly. "And I know you don't have any more left to give me."

"I've already given you this many years," you reminded softly, "I think I could spare another or two if it meant you getting your shit together, that you get better, stop feeling so crazy."

"I don't deserve anymore time - "

"I think you need to step back and reevaluate what it means to be deserving because you always say that. That you don't deserve something - even as simple as time. Everyone deserves time and opportunity to figure shit out, Carmy, and you're no exception."

He nodded, "I'm... Trying." He took a long, deep breath, "I'm, uh... Going to meetings, you know, like, uh, Al-Anon and whatever."

"That's good, they're there to help," you nodded, stepping closer to take his hands in yours after closing the ring box and stuffing it back in his pocket. "Now, I think you need to do something."

"Anything, Peach."

"Take my hand, bring me back to The Bear, and go about your plan."

He froze in shock, blinking at you in earnest, "You really mean that?"

"Do I look like I'm joking?"

"No, ma'am, and I think that scares me more."

"You'd rather break up? 'Cause at this point, Carm, we either move forward with this engagement and fucking work our shit out, or we break up. It's been almost a decade. It's your choice, you're the one who was saying he couldn't be someone's husband, that he didn't need to provide anyone nor have them provide you with anything. So, you tell me what you want to do - because all I know is that I love you, I want you for life, but not if you're going to resent me and regret moving our relationship forward. I don't need to get married, Carmy, but you can't keep jerking me around like you have been. So... Make a decision based on what you want - based on what's best for you. Not what's best for us, but put yourself first right now, Carmy, and make a decision about what you want."

With a nod of his head, Carmy cleared his throat and offered you his hand. When he felt you lock your fingers with his, he glanced up and down the street, then lead you across it. Up the sidewalk and to the front door of The illuminating Bear, he paused to produce his keys and then lead you inside.

The lights were dim, but a flip of the switch brightly lit up the newly constructed restaurant. He seemed nervous at your cool demeanor, watching you shed your coat and set your purse down; but his hand took yours again and lead you further into the place. He seemed nervous, but once in the kitchen, it was almost like Carmy's stress melted away.

"I was... I had this plan," he explained softly, leaning on one of the work stations with both hands in yours to keep you in front of him. "I have all these candles, right? Was gonna distract you in here," he looked around the fluorescent lighting, "while Richie, Fak, Tina, and the others set everything up. We'd hang in here after the place was closed down, you know, show you around the completed kitchen. And really casually, I'd ask if you were ready to go, so, we'd go out the front, and we'd walk right into the candlelight..."

"Yeah?" He nodded, thumbs running over your hands as he pushed off the counter. "Don't deviate from your plan now..."

Carmy smirked, "Wanna hear the boring kitchen stuff?"

"Of course, I do."

So, he lead you around in a tour of the kitchen; showing off the new office space that he invited you to take advantage of whenever you wanted. The sleek appliances were shown off, the vast fridges, freezers, new cutlery, state-of-the-art dishwashers. Everything, he showed you, knowing you helped him pick a lot of it out - it was still nice to see it all come together finally.

And then, slowly, he lead you out of the kitchen, but to your honest shock, the dining room was covered in lit candles and different bouquets of thick, gorgeous floral arrangements. "Oh, holy shit," you breathed, Carmy hiding his confusion much better than you.

You came to a slow halt in the middle of the room, the lights out and only leaving the candles to provide an ambiance. "I had this whole speech planned, too," Carmy told you softly. "Remind you of the day we met, how you saved me from those jackass bullies - remember?"

You smiled softly, emotions swirling in your chest, "First day of first grade, you had a Buzz Lightyear backpack and some kids were picking on you 'cause of it."

"And what did you do?"

You felt bashful remembering, but humored him by answering, "Pushed their faces in the mud at recess and made them apologize."

"You've been my best friend since that day," he nodded, bringing you in a few steps closer. "And when we got to high school, my feelings changed. You weren't just my best friend, but the girl I was madly in love with... Took me a couple years to buck up the courage to ask you out officially, though."

"Sure took your sweet time," you whispered with a smile, "but all good things to those who wait, right?"

"And I think you've waited long enough for a man to be who you deserve," he frowned. "All these years - it's been you at my side. You even - fuck - you even came over to Amsterdam for a bit because I was feeling overwhelmed and lonely. Sad, maybe even a little homesick. But you just - you just showed up like it was the most common thing in the world."

You chuckled through your tears, "Yeah, we had some good times on that boat, didn't we?"

He nodded with a softening smile, pushing hair from your face and behind your ear; pausing to hold your cheek carefully. "And when we came back stateside... You were still the only constant presence in my life. You were my family without blood, and I knew after that Christmas that you'd forever be my other half, and I'd spend my life conveying how grateful I am for you. I just - I never knew how to put it into words until now."

"What changed?"

"Realizing that I wanted to marry you years ago - and I should've. I know I shouldn't have drug my feet with us, delay our inevitable, because honestly? I couldn't see my life without you in it and I knew I needed you with me forever. Peach," he frowned, reaching for your other cheek, "we agreed when this wasn't healthy, we'd walk away - I remember that. But I need you to know, I'll never fucking regret you. I'll never resent you. You've been unwaveringly supportive and loving and... And I've been the luckiest man to experience it all. But now," he pushed himself a step closer so he was hovered over your lips, "I know that you deserve someone just as present in this relationship as you are. I knew once The Bear was done, I was done - I was done beating this bush around and wasting time. I knew what I needed to do because the idea of you not being in my life anymore terrifies me more than anything. I don't remember life without you, Peach, and I don't ever want to know what it's like. So," he cleared his throat, "here, in the restaurant I so desperately wanted to give up on so many times, but you always stopped me, I wanted to make this official. I wanted it to be here to show you that the past year of our turmoil - it's fucking over, Peach. We did it," he whispered, "and now, the next and only thing I want to focus on is us."

Carmy readjusted you both for a little bit of space, holding your left hand tightly as he lowered himself to a single knee; looking up at you with those big, wide, sad blue eyes that were growing redder by the passing second. The candlelight created a romantic atmosphere that cocooned you both in a warm embrace, the flowers around you projecting their floral scent.

"So, I need to ask you something real important, baby," he whispered, his throat bobbing to restrain his emotion that clawed up his throat, "because if I don't, I don't think I could breathe again." He cleared his throat, pulling the ring box from his pocket and opening it to present to you officially. "Y/F/N Y/M/N Y/L/N... My sweetest Peach, I've loved you almost my entire life, you're my best friend, my most loyal and sweetest confidant. You make me want to be a man better than I was yesterday and never before have I ever seriously considered marriage - until you. Now? Now, I can't get the idea out of my head, so, my sweet girl," he took another breath, the tears in his eyes swelling and slowly dripping down his cheeks as you slowly got on your knees in front of him, "I need to ask you... W-Would you do me the honor? Of being my wife?"

"Carmen."

He grinned at you, both with tears down your cheeks. "Will you marry me, Y/N? I can't see my life without you in it, so... I want this, I want you for life. Y/N, will you marry me?" He paused, adding a meek little, "Please?" at the end.

With a deep breath, you slowly reached for his cheeks in a soft caress to wipe his tears; both just staring at one another for a good few moments before a face-splitting grin nearly cracked your lips. "Yes," you finally answered, "yeah, yes, yes, of course, I'll marry you, Carmen, yes!"

"Oh, thank fuckin' God," he laughed, letting you lunge forward to knock him backward in a hug - missing the candles arranged in a small circle for you two to stand in. Carmy laughed loudly, happily, giving you a tight squeeze as he mused, "Had my heart beatin' outta my chest for a second there, Peach."

"Oh, please," you laughed, "after all this time, you really thought I'd say no?"

He shrugged meekly, "Thought my most recent fuck-ups would've added to any reasons you might have to say no."

"Oh, spare me - you're my best friend, Carmy, you know I couldn't ever say no to you. Not without puking in nervousness."

"Can we maybe not talk about puke when we just got engaged?"

You laughed and nodded, "Fine, fine, fine, then put the ring on, please."

You presented your left manicured hand, watching Carmy almost giddily removed the band from the box, took a slow, deep breath, and then, the most beautiful ring was being slid onto your finger in an official show of your engagement. Of your undying love. Of your commitment, promises, and future together.

"YEAH!" An array of varying cheers and hollers of support and excitement rang out around you; startling both you and Carmy to look up. Richie, Sydney, Tina, Neil, Theo, Pete, and Sugar all hung in the bathroom's alcove - watching with splitting grins and cheering in celebration.

There was no time to question them as Richie lead the charge over; helping you to your feet for a giant, bear hug before gushing over your engagement ring. Neil and Theo popped one of the authentic bottles of champagne, pouring different flutes for those present.

"Calm down," Natalie scolded Richie lightly, "and move out the way, I want to hug my engaged bestie!"

You squealed with Sugar when her arms wrapped around you tightly, Rich moving on to congratulate Carmy - who apologized for his angry words earlier and thanked them for still setting things up. Richie promised it was for you, not Carmy, but still hugged the little shit with a laugh - indicating he was just joking.

"Let me see!" Natalie grinned, examining the ring Carmy chose and squealing again. "Oh, my God! Oh, it's so pretty! Oh, shit - sisters!" She gasped, holding your hands tightly, "We're going to be sisters - like, officially!"

"Sisters in law, but yeah, cupcake," you beamed at her, wiping your tears and giggling. "I can't - this just doesn't feel real," you told her softly, looking the few feet over to see Carmy with the lads as Sydney stood with you and Sugar. "Him proposing? I genuinely thought it wouldn't happen," you tried to laugh your nerves off, looking at your ring and fiddling with it.

"Yeah, right," Sydney laughed. "I haven't been around that long and even I knew this was gonna happen."

"Oh, please, she's right," Natalie grinned when you went to retaliate, "he first started talking about how he wanted to marry you when he was, like, 15. This has been the longest thing coming."

"Thank you guys for helping," you whispered with a smile. "It's all so beautiful."

"Happy to help for a good cause," Syd smiled, complimenting your ring as Neil called for a toast. Everyone was given flutes of champagne, Carmy's arm wrapping around your waist as each friend gave their own little speech, congratulating you both before the alcohol was being drained.

"Uh, and where are you two going?" Sugar asked about an hour later with a small giggle when Carmy wrapped an arm around your neck after helping you into your coat again.

"Gotta celebrate alone with my fiancé," he smirked, "later, guys! Don't forget to lock up!"

"Carmen!" You scolded with a small laugh, gaping at him.

"What? They got this," Carmy chuckled. "Thanks, you guys, see you tomorrow!"

"We can help clean," you told him as he lead you out of the restaurant.

"Nah, we've got bigger plans," he smirked at you. "Got plenty t'celebrate, yeah? Ever fucked as fiancés before?"

"No - but I hear it's some crazy sex," you whispered, locking your arms around his waist to stay close. Neither of you cared about the bus at this hour, opting to walk home in the cold - not that you felt it. Your love burned brighter than the cold biting your skin.

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iddybiddysquish · 3 months

Text

Sukuna x Reader - Cursed Womb

Plot Description: reader insert for a chunk of the cursed womb arc

Fandom: Jujutsu Kaisen

Gender: AFAB

Warnings: Serious non-con/rape; oral receiving; creampie; branding; breeding kink

Notes: think of any tags, let me know. And yes, I did in fact copy words for word the subtitles for this. Have I also done it for all of season 1... quite possibly ahaha

Also sorry for not posting for a while. I'm working on an original book and it's sapping all of my creative energy lmaoooo

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Itadori removed his belt, tying it around his arm to stop the blood loss.

“I can’t escape after it’s gotten this close!” Itadori muttered, still tying the tourniquet, “Hey Sukuna! If I die, you die too, right?

“If you don’t want that, then help me out!”

“Nope!” he grinned, popping up on his cheek, gaining my attention, “Even if the parts of me inside you die, there are eighteen other fragments of my soul.

“Still, irritatingly enough, I don’t have control of this body. If you want to switch, go ahead and switch. But once you do, I’ll kill that brat before the cursed spirit can!

“Then I’ll go for that woman! She’s a lively one. I’ll have fun with her.

“And of course there's her.” he chimed looking at me, making me sweat, “I've had my eye on her since you swallowed my finger. I'll be sure to take my time on you.” He added, speaking to me this time. I gulped.

“I’m not going to let you do that.” Itadori barely whispered in horror.

“I bet. But if you’re too focused on me, your friends are gonna die.”

“Don’t listen to Sukuna, Yuji.” I uttered, scoffing at the cursed spirit, who eyed me curiously, “He’s trying to rile you up. And I can tell it’s working!

“I won’t let anything else happen to you two.” I concluded, “I’ll die before that happens.” I vowed.

“Cute, cute!” Sukuna cackled, “You think you can fight it, hm?

“You’re weak-”

“Can it, four eyes-”

The next thing we knew, the creature shot something out of its mouth at us, causing a small explosion, causing our ears to ring, unable to hear anything else. That’s when I realised it didn’t use a technique - a jujutsu.

It was pure cursed energy that it shot at us.

‘That’s possible…?’

“Fushiguro!” Itadori cried through the fog but it was so hard to hear, “(L/N)!” I shook my head, trying to get rid of the ringing that had all but ruined my hearing for the moment. But as he called both our names again we both snapped out of it, “Take Kugisaki and (L/N) and get out of here! I’ll keep this one busy until you three are out. As soon as you’re out, give me some kind of signal. Once you do…

“I’ll switch with Sukuna.”

“You know you can’t do that!” Fushiguro yelled, “Not with only one arm against a special-grade!”

“Look closer.” he explained, nodding towards the creature, “It’s having fun.” Fushiguro gasped, “It’s obviously toying with us.” I sighed and nodded, knowing this all too well, “I can at least buy us some time.”

“No!”

“Fushiguro! Please.”

“I’m going nowhere.” I exclaimed sharply, “Fushiguro will find Kugisaki with his Shikigami and get her out of here.

“But I will stay here.” I explained.

“No!” both yelled looking over at me sharply. I glared.

“I’m immune to curses.” I explained quickly, “I will be untouchable to both Sukuna and this curse.

“I need to stay to ensure your safety since I can’t heal you. I’ll then distract him long enough for you all to get out.”

“No way!” Itadori barked as Fushiguro shook his head.

“She’s right, Itadori!” He explained quickly, “If anyone has any chance of fighting this thing, it’s (L/N)-senpai!”

“I can’t leave.” Itadori concluded, “I refuse.”

“We can’t release Sukuna!” I argued, dodging the creatures next attack as it watched us in glee, “It will be too dangerous-”

“I won’t let you die, either!” Itadori concluded, “You can’t phase through it forever, right?” I froze at that.

We hadn’t found my limit yet. But, according to Gojo, my cursed energy is the most efficient he’s seen. And because of my supposed mixed heritage to Sugawara Michizane and the other two Big Three Vengeful Spirits of Japan, I have large levels of cursed energy, larger than Gojo has seen before. I haven’t run out before, but who knew how long it would be before that would happen, especially if I had to wait for a signal from Fushiguro. And that’s ignoring if I need to produce a lot of positive energy to heal both Itadori and I.

Itadori was right. We needed Sukuna.

“Fine.” I concluded, “Stay with me, keep close. I’m going to try and protect you.”

“But, (L/N)-senpai-”

“I’m staying. Sukuna is a last resort, okay?” I explained quickly, earning a sharp nod. I nodded back before ordering Fushiguro to leave. To my surprise, when he started running, he grabbed the name tag of the prisoner on his way out.

Once Fushiguro was out, we both got into stance, watching the curse as we thought of a game plan. Itadori refused to stay behind me, determined to protect me, despite my desperation to make him stay behind me so that I could protect him.

The curse in retort pulled off his trousers, making me sweat in confusion as it chuckled, leaving only its undergarments. I looked over at Itadori, who shrugged, before looking back at the curse. Itadori snorted.

“Trying to say it’s easier to move around in your underwear?”

“I mean, I feel you there, bro.” I admitted, rolling my shoulders, “If it were appropriate that’s how I’d live.”

Itadori wanted to joke, but he was too locked into the danger of the situation at hand. All as he contemplated on what to do.

I, on the other hand, went for the curse. From my training, I continued to isolate areas with Immunity so that I could still attack whilst not taking hits. So that’s what I did as I went to punch the curse when it tried to send cursed energy my way, dodging before making contact.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t with his face, but his palm, making me sweat as he laughed at me.

‘Fast…!’

Opening my palm, I grasped his hand and pulled him to me, catching him off guard, before headbutting him in the face with cursed energy, causing some blood to splutter from him. Itadori then came in, ready to support. However, before I could get to him, the curse threw a wave of cursed energy at him, sending him flying into the wall.

“Yuji!” I cried, running over to him. But the curse was faster, grinning as he advanced on Itadori with a cursed energy sphere, punching him through the wall and sending him bouncing onto the floor, causing me to cry out his name again.

With a growl, I appeared behind the curse and went to kick it through the gap, only for it to appear behind me and shove me through with cursed energy, just as he had done with Itadori moments before, sending me flying and into the wall on the other side.

Itadori only rose up when he was able to snap out of his abused state, the curse having begun to charge up before unleashing horrendously strong cursed energy.

“Senpai!” he yelled as I groaned. However when I got up I cursed, eyes widening as he held his hand out, trying to fight the cursed energy beam going through him and into me.

That’s when I realised that I wasn’t activating Immunity. And also that I wasn’t injured by his cursed energy.

‘No… if anything I absorbed it.’ I realised, feeling stronger, ‘I have more cursed energy.’

Itadori was crying and bloody, the pain unimaginable as his fingers slowly began to disintegrate. He began to regret his actions regarding the cursed object and how he wanted to run and get away. About how he didn’t want to die.

And I could feel it in his cursed energy. But not as much as I felt the sadistic pleasure from the cursed energy I absorbed from the curse currently hurting my son.

‘Yuji…’

“Don’t think!” Itadori cried, what was remaining of his hands out before falling back and into the wall all over again.

It was enough to send me into sadistic rage, the curse laughing at my anger.

I gritted my teeth, running towards it at a speed I didn’t know I was capable of, ready to punch it in the face again. However, I disappeared before reappearing behind it. That’s when I kicked through his back and out the other side, making it scream and writhe.

Pulling my leg out I went to punch it in the face, but it threw me to the ground, winding me.

“I was so full of myself.” I heard Itadori utter to himself as he stared at the ground in front of him, “I thought I was strong. I thought I was at least strong enough to choose when I died.

“I’m weak!” he looked at his hand, fingertips gone as I continued to pull on the arms of the curse, slowly and painfully, my tears flowing at the sight of Itadori.

To my surprise he began to heal himself from my cursed enhanced motions. I rolled over, narrowly avoiding it’s kick as I backed up, ready to go toe-to-toe with the creature all over again.

Unfortunately for the curse, I would get better with each move he made. That didn’t mean I wouldn’t take some beatings, but I was prepared to. It meant I could fight.

Unfortunately, no matter my natural speed, I didn’t have the reflexes to match, causing him to send me flying into the wall again without cursed energy this time. I was embedded in it, passing out for a moment.

“(F/N)-senpai…” Itadori uttered when he saw me before shaking his head, “I’m far too weak!” he yelled, standing up. He gripped his head with what was left of his hands as he cried, “Augh, I don’t want to die! No! No way!”

“But… I am going to die!”

Itadori began to focus on his emotions before imagining putting it into his fist. He was ready to be useful, in his mind, before charging.

“Yuji…!” I mumbled, in a daze, only for the curse to grab his cursed energy enhanced fist, making me curse as I got out of the rubble, slowly, whilst healing myself. The curse laughed at him as I snarled.

“Don’t you dare!” I barked, sensing its next move, up and out of the rubble as quickly as I could be.

“Damn it!”

But all of a sudden there was a howl. A loud howl.

It was Fushiguro’s signal.

I breathed a sigh of relief. They were safe.

However, I realised quickly there was no defeating this curse between Itadori and I. So I nodded at Itadori and instantly Sukuna was released from Itadori’s mind, healing him just as instantly as the special-grade curse flinched back at his presence.

I was ready to run.

Unfortunately, he grabbed me with an unimpressed look on his face, making me gasp in surprise.

“What a thoroughly annoying brat. He’s obviously screwing with me.” he contemplated, fist to chin in thought, the other hand letting go of me, “Go nowhere.” he ordered, directed at me, before patting the scared cursed spirit on the shoulder, “Hold on a moment. I’m thinking right now.”

The curse nodded profusely as Sukuna continued to think aloud.

“What can I do to make that brat regret this?” After a few moments of thinking, he grinned, “Hey, let’s go kill some kids. I’ve got one in mind already.”

I gasped, retreating. I knew he was talking about Fushiguro and Kugisaki, and I realised quickly that this was bad. He was going to bring the curse to us to fight the three of us.

‘Shit, shit, shit!’

However, before I could retreat, to my shock, It hopped away, scared and prepared to hesitantly brawl despite Sukuna’s unthreatening demeanour. He motioned for him to follow, growing the hand back and adding, “Follow me.”

However, the creature began to panic, forming strong cursed energy into a ball with both hands before throwing it.

“S-Sukuna-!” I pointed, but he simply rolled his eyes at my attempt to warn him.

“Baka.” he paused as the attack bypassed him, hand out, before looking at his hand, “Ah, shit. I healed this one, too.” I blinked.

‘He was purposefully not healing it.’ I shook my head, ‘He used the reverse cursed technique.’

He put his hands in his pockets, looking back at the curse, “You don’t like walks?” he looked away, “Well, cursed spirits are usually supposed to stay where they’re born. Fine, fine. In that case…” he grinned, “You die here!” he exclaimed, rushing the cursed spirit and grabbing it by the face before it could so much as twitch, “Hey what’s the matter? You’re not finished already, are you?” the creature gritted its teeth as it attempted to rise up, shakily, “That’s it. Come on, try harder.”

From there he stomped on its head, pressure causing the archway we were standing on to collapse and crumble, causing us all to fall.

I screamed, but found myself floating in the air, something Sukuna noted with slight intrigue. I gasped in surprise.

‘Nullification… It allows me to hover.’ I realised, slowly descending into the water before looking for an escape. This was all whilst I saw the spirit grasping at Sukuna’s foot, only for Sukuna to cut off their remaining arm and chill on a piece of debris after it attempted to throw him in a circle.

“Even a cursed spirit,” he raised his hand, holding the arm of the cursed spirit, “would miss their arm, right?” He cackled maniacally as the creature fell into the water below them.

I wasn't completely dumb. This was my opportunity to escape.

So that's what I did, spinning as I carefully, and quietly, made my way through the walls.

“Oi, don't move.” I froze, turning back to look at Sukuna who was smirking my way. I gulped.

‘Shit…’

“I haven't forgotten about you. Just be patient and wait there for me, woman.”

I cursed again. That was definitely addressed to me.

So I decided to run. However he was in front of me before I could even process what was happening. Hand on my shoulder, he stopped me from moving forward, physically bringing me to the curse that was currently embedded in the wall. I gulped along with it.

“Don’t try me.” he warned, pushing me forward, “Sit here.”

I did as I was told as Sukuna turned back to the curse. That was when he spliced the curse into five and embedded it into the wall.

“Hey, did you know? We’re both classified as special-grade, apparently.” Sukuna noted, looking up at the curse with a grin, “Both you and me, man.”

The spirit began to regenerate, forcing itself shakily out of the wall one new limb at a time. Sukuna watched on, still grinning.

“Good job, special-grade. Keep trying.” before the cursed spirit jumped before him, “You look happy. Want me to praise you?

“But healing with cursed energy isn’t that hard for cursed spirits, unlike for humans. Neither you nor these brats really understand what curses truly are.

“This is a good opportunity, so I’ll show you… What real jujutsu is.” he concluded before putting his fingers together in a specific formation.

“Domain Expansion.” He closed his eyes before opening them again, revealing his domain, “Malevolent Shrine!” I gasped in shock, instantly activating Nullification to be safe from the attack. The creature made a gurgling noise before it was split into five, making me gasp again.

“S-Sukuna…” I muttered, shocked as I tried to deconstruct his technique, but it made my head hurt.

“I was planning to cut you in three slices, but you’re really weak.

“Oh, yeah,” he noted, pulling out the finger from the cavity in the curses’ chest, “and then there’s this.

“I’ll be taking this.” he concluded, lifting it up as the pieces of the curse lit up from damage.

“It’s over.” Sukuna exclaimed, “This sucks! If you’re gonna switch, just do it already!” When he was met with silence from Itadori, Sukuna added, “What’s the matter, brat?” It was then he realised something. And he grinned so wide and gave a shallow laugh.

He was in control and not Itadori.

So I waited and waited until Itadori would take over, sure it would happen at any moment. When it didn’t, I began to panic. And it was delicious in Sukuna’s eyes.

‘Shit…’

Before Sukuna could even turn to me, I was out of there, running. He tsked at me, rolling his eyes.

“I thought I told you-” he grinned, appearing in front of me, “-to wait!”

Freedom was so close, yet so far as I felt him grab ahold of my uniform at the scruff, choking me as he tore the neck of my fabric. I squeaked, faltering slightly in my speed as I ripped off the blazer before he grabbed my hair next, making me wince and eyes widen in surprise and pain.

“Come, now.” he grinned evilly, “There’s no need to fight the inevitable.” I snarled.

“Get fucked, Sukuna! Fuck you!” I snarled, earning a child-like giggle.

“Exactly.

“Now get on your knees, whore.” I snarled.

“No fucking way!” I growled, going to punch him in the stomach, only for him to grab my fist and swat it away as though it were nothing.

Sukuna watched with amusement as I clawed at his hand still in my hair as he forced me down, though I refused to kneel despite his attempts. I couldn’t help but snarl, pulling him by the arm and flipping him over onto his back, catching him off guard. Immediately I raised up and went to stomp on him, but he blocked it with a grin, grabbing ahold of my foot.

“That’s more like it. You do know it’ll make it worse for you, though, right?”

Pushing me, I fell over with a yelp and before I could process it, hitting my head, he was on me, face to face with a wicked grin.

“It’s been so long since I’ve felt flesh on flesh.” he chuckled, “And yours is especially soft. Like the most pliable cotton, threatening to spill delicious blood at any moment.” he mused, feeling along my cheek, tauntingly, “I bet you bruise beautifully.”

“Don’t.” I flinched as he caressed my side, going up and down my body with a teasing touch. He chuckled.

“All that bravado gone and what is left, hm?” he whispered into my ear as he pressed himself against me, “A worm.”

“Fuck you.” I spat.

“You haven’t pushed me away yet.” he remarked, “I’m hardly pinning you here. Maybe you are trained already.” as if realising he was right, I tried to push him off of me, but failed, earning a chuckle, “So weak.” I snarled at that notion, close to tears at how helpless I felt.

When I applied cursed energy, however, I found myself able to roll us and jumped back, ready to fight. Sukuna didn’t say anything, simply rolled his eyes and shoulders before putting his hands back in his pockets. He was casual, as if to say ‘fine if we must’ as I used my cursed energy to fight him.

He was surprised, actually, at how quick I was and how capable I had become after a few, albeit long, sessions with Gojo, Itadori and Fushiguro. He had to put some energy into the scenario in order to bat away my attacks.

So I ramped them up, going faster.

“You know, I theorised that Gojo let you hit him that day.” he grinned, “But now you’re starting to intrigue me with how quick you’re learning.” he admitted as I growled.

“What do you want me to say to that?”

“Gratitude would be nice.” I scoffed.

“I’ll show you gratitude when you switch back with Yuji.” he laughed.

“Fat chance.”

I was tiring. I didn’t seem to be getting anywhere. I feigned energy, but I was exhausted and overstimulated.

Sukuna was just too fast. Not to mention he was still doing this half heartedly. It made me realise how easy Gojo had been actually going with me during his sparring sessions. It also made me realise I needed to practise more. I needed more if I were going to go toe to toe with the beast that was Sukuna.

However Sukuna could read me like a book despite my attempts to mask. He knew when I was about to run away based on lacking energy, using the last of it to hopefully get me to safety. He could see the very moment I’d even thought I could.

And when I did, he was already there, gripping me close to his chest as though he’d teleported in front of me, making me squeak like a mouse, in his mind.

“You know, I can tell you’re getting tired.” he chuckled, “You can’t improve if the other person isn’t willing, can you?”

That was why I wasn’t improving. He wasn’t investing. And he watched as horror displayed itself on my features.

“Beautiful, really. You weren’t meant for fighting, were you?” he cooed, making me cringe as his nose rubbed mine before he chucked me through a few walls to his left. When that was over, he did the same only up.

“This ought to have tired you out.”

He then picked me up by the hair again and dragged me into the centre of the new room, throwing me down on the ground violently, causing craters and cracks to form before the floor caved in, making me fall to the lowest level of the building. I groaned, body littered with cuts, bruises and some broken bones as I coughed the dust out of my lungs. But still, I rose up, ignoring the pain as my body automatically healed itself and was already back in stance, something Sukuna noted with sincere intrigue.

“Oi, oi!” he clapped, cheerily, “You’re lasting longer than I expected! Durable, aren’t you?” he chuckled.

So I went for him again, finding more energy despite the dwindling supply. Sukuna watched, curious as I continued to attempt to battle him, resulting in sending me flying through more walls and up through the ceilings of the buildings and then back down through them all over again. And despite all of this, I continued to get into sparring position and then charging. It was impressive, he had to admit, that determination to win. It was quite attractive.

“I picked well!” he beamed, punching me in the gut, causing me to cough up blood, “You’re so determined. Maybe it wasn’t all talk.” he wondered as I staggered back, starting to feel the brunt of my attempts, “You tired out yet? I’m getting bored waiting for your tantrum to be over.” I snarled, remembering my purpose and finding more energy I didn’t even know I had.

I said nothing as I charged again, this time feigning my moves before twisting to create new ones. I harnessed my cursed technique as well as I could, adapting on the fly to his rebuttals. It got to the point that I thought I might be able to land a hit.

Until he vanished only to kick me into the ground behind me, winding me and thoroughly shattering my ribcage and sternum.

He chuckled before sitting on top of me as I wheezed, passing out for a moment before coming to as he gently began to caress my bleeding head. He began smearing it across my cheek when tears from the pain and fatigue fell, cooing at me. All whilst I tried to regain control over my own head, which was spinning. I didn’t know what was up or down and he liked the fucked up look on my features. He chuckled again.

“I kept your pretty face clean, huh?” he noted, continuing to caress my face as though it were fine china, “After all, I want something pretty to look at when I fuck.” he admitted before grinning down at me when I came to again, having passed out momentarily for the second time, “You prefer this, huh? Want to be romanced like I was Gojo?” I groaned my disagreement, but it only made him cackle more, “There must be someone you like.”

I spit out some blood onto his face in response, earning a maniacal grin.

“Don’t act so shy now. You know I already know your attraction to powerful men.” I tsked and rolled my eyes.

“Then you really don’t know me, huh?” I muttered horsley, shaking my head as I attempted to get my eyesight back, “I really am not that interested in men, women or otherwise unless there’s something they can give me.”

“Hm. I suppose we’re one in the same there.” he snickered, “How does that feel?” I rolled my eyes.

“You’re insane-” Shoving him off of me with all my strength so I was straddling him, dripping with sarcasm, “-we make a great match.”

Sukuna rolled his eyes, feeling up my thighs through the gaps in my trousers. It was then he dragged his nails across my thighs, cutting them and making me wince and clench, before bringing the blood to his mouth. He groaned.

“So delicious for a whore-”

“I’m not a whore!” I snapped, slapping him across the face with cursed energy, causing his head to snap to the side, “I’m done with your shit! Either kill me or go away!”

I looked down at him in horror as I raised my hand, realisation of what I’d just done coming to the surface. So when he grinned, my heart fell into my ass all over again as I gulped.

‘I fucked up.’

“You still have fight. Adorable, really. I’ll allow it this one time.” he mused, gripping my thighs so hard they not only bled where his nails met my skin, but would bruise in large hand-shaped marks, “But I’m done playing.”

I knew what was coming next.

The next thing I know, everything was removed. My bra, underwear, trousers and overskirt, gone.

The seriousness of the situation dawned upon me further as the cold air nipped at me, raising the hairs on my skin as I shivered, causing me to let out an audible gasp. When he grinned up at me, hands still in a bruising grip on my thighs, I gulped, all three eyes wide like a deer caught in headlights.

“Better than I expected.” he admitted, licking his lips, “It’s been so long.” he grinned, reaching out to tweak my pierced nipple, but I slapped him away, earning a dark look.

“Do that again and I’ll cut it off.” he warned, making me whimper. However when I made a motion to move, to hide myself from his gaze, he pushed me onto my back before flipping onto me.

“S-Sukuna-!”

“Don’t beg.” He warned, lowly, “Unless it's to fill you with my seed.” My eyes widened as I began to panic.

As if sensing a whole new wave of protest, he grabbed my face and smashed my head into the floor. Once, twice, thrice. Just enough to know I wouldn’t do anything to stop him from completing his desires.

I groaned, dazed as he leaned back and observed me fully. So bare before him, he awed at the way my nipples stiffened in response to him barely touching them, indulging in tracing his fingers across all my piercings and loved the smell of my sex in the air.

“Too beautiful for a sorcerer.” he mused, moving my hair out of my face as he caressed and assaulted my body with his hands and eyes, “They should have kept you as a breeding tool. Then maybe you wouldn’t get pregnant with my child.”

I was too dazed to understand what he was saying. I watched as he nipped and sucked at my skin, peppering it with undesired attention, being cruel as he used his teeth and watched for my skin’s reaction. When it wasn’t satisfactory, he’d up his motions until he was fully biting my neck, collar bone, breasts and thighs, making me cry out in pain. I couldn't help my whimpers and moans, filter off in my dazed state.

“So responsive.” he chuckled. I didn’t take it in at all, even as he began salivating at my core, having moved lower and lower. He was nose deep as he began to lap at my juices. It was when he harshly sucked on my clit and I moaned his name, much to his amusement, that I realised what was going on and namely who the culprit was.

“S-stop…!” I uttered out, hand to my head as I attempted to stabilise myself.

However Sukuna didn’t stop. He continued to lick and suck harshly at my clit and lips in a cruel pace, flicking his tongue expertly against me as he lapped up my juices greedily. Sometimes he dipped into my clenching hole, just for an extra taste, curling it around. He considered this treating himself. And god did it taste so good; like nectar of the Gods.

When I started to squirm and pant, unable to fight him off any longer, he pinned my pelvis and thighs to the floor, open and exactly where he wanted them. And all I could do was cum on his tongue until he was done, body overstimulated and aching.

“Mh! N-no! No more- s’ too m-much!” I squeaked, pleading as if it would make any difference. Sukuna wasn’t so much interested in my pleasure - even my foggy brain could comprehend that.

No, he was trying to make this memorable. Traumatic. He also wanted to prove a point, which was that he could break me whilst also proving there would never be anyone better than him. There was nothing better than putting a bitch in their place.

I yelped as he nipped harshly on my clit when I tried to find purchase with my hands in his hair, so I clawed at the ground as I had another orgasm come and go, squirting my juices onto his face, something which made his cock jump to attention; he chose well.

Sukuna would stop when he wanted to stop. He would pay attention to my body, sure, but right now he was only interested in breaking me and his own pleasure. And right now he was indulging himself in a taste he hadn’t experienced in so, so long.

Thoroughly prepped, Sukuna didn’t waste time in pulling his cock out. However, I’d grown more lucid and began to kick and fuss, earning a slap to my tits.

“Don’t stop me. I will kill you.”

“You’ll kill me, anyway!”

“Not if you have a use.” he snickered cruelly before pulling me to meet his pelvis, cock rubbing against my folds, teasingly, smearing our fluids against one another, earning a shaky moan from Sukuna, “And you are useful.”

I grabbed at his face, his chest, his hair - anywhere I could get purchase - to try and shove him off in my weakened state. But I couldn’t do anything. He wasn’t even taking my attempts seriously, instead laughing down at me as lined up his cock with my entrance before slowly plunging in.

Instantly his face was contorted into something tense until he bottomed out, then it relaxed as he released a deep, shaky breath.

“Looks like you’re not a whore after all. So fucking tight…” he hissed as I cried, “I wonder what you’d feel like on my cock in my true form.” He snickered cruelly, “I’d split you in half with just one of them.”

Crying was all I could do as I tried to push him away using his chest as leverage. When I did, however, he pinned both wrists to the ground before pulling out, only to slam back in harshly, setting a brutal pace that had me unable to make any noise even if I’d wanted to.

Sukuna didn’t remember it feeling quite as good as this. No, he was sure this was all me. And it made him drunk on the sensation. Enough that he just wanted to bury himself in me and stay that way for a while, but he remembered the point of this exercise was more than to get him off.

No, this was about putting me in my place.

He hardly even considered that this could’ve been Itadori’s virginity he was taking for him, nor did he care. He also didn’t care for my feelings, either. In fact, he was revelling in my silent cries as he continued to pound into my wet cunt, obnoxious squelching and slapping noises reverberating off the walls of the concrete jungle we were in with each thrust.

Unsurprisingly, I was dead to the world by this point, pliant in his hold, enough that he was able to bend me in a mating press, pleasantly surprised by my flexibility as he got impossibly deeper inside whilst pushing my knees to my head, practically fucking my cervix. It was painful, but also pleasurable - pain I could take. But gaining any pleasure from this was the last thing I wanted.

I would not cum on his cock of all places.

But the way his cock buried itself inside of me, bruising that sweet spot at such a sickening pace was enough to leave me seeing stars as I dissociated.

“Still ready to fight?” he chuckled, “I’ll fuck that out of you-” He snarled, getting lost in the sensation of my hole quivering around him, milking him, “That’s right, take it all.”

He was getting close.

Suddenly I was violently slammed back into the driver’s seat as he folded me into a deeper mating press, wanting to see me cum as he choked me out. I shook my head, desperate to avoid it. Desperate not to cum. He chuckled, amused at this visible attempt, a vein popping on my forehead.

“What’s wrong? Don’t wanna cum?” he snickered.

It felt so damn good. But it was dirty and I didn’t want it.

“You’re going to cum on my cock.” Sukuna whispered harshly against my ear, not sparing me a glance as he watched himself enter and exit me, over and over rhythmically, sweaty forehead to my own. It was addicting to watch and with four eyes, he was more than capable of watching everything he wanted to - my face when I came and whatever came out of me as my climax washed over me, causing me to cry out as I squirted down his cock.

“S-Sukuna!” I found myself clawing at his back as he fucked me through my high. He laughed at me as I tried to find purchase, eyes rolling back so prettily.

“Beautiful, beautiful.” he sang, “Prepare yourself. I’m going to breed this tight cunt.” he grinned viciously, grip leaving my thighs to grasp directly at my hips, forcing me against him impossibly closer as he chased his own high, causing me to orgasm a second time.

“So easy to make you cum.” he chuckled airily, “Gonna do it again? Hm?” I shook my head violently as tears spilled. Whether it was from the earth shattering orgasms or the disgusting nature of them, I wasn’t sure. But all I knew is he was fucking me dumb and I didn’t like it. Especially at his next words.

“You cum when I tell you to, you got that Pet?” he warned, “Otherwise I won’t stop fucking you until you do.” he warned before chuckling, “Or maybe I’ll do both.” he grinned nodding as he huffed against me, “See how many orgasms I can get out of you.”

I knew I was doomed then. Because I was close and Sukuna knew it from the way I gripped him as he buried himself inside of me over and over again.

But I did what I was told. I held it off as much as I could. It’s not like I wanted to cum in the first place. But he could tell I was failing in my war against it, eyes screwed shut with tears falling as I babbled, squealed and panted in my attempts. He chuckled.

“Now. Cum now.” he barked in my ear, picking up the pace impossibly fast. I shook my head.

“Fuck you!” I snarled as I came, nails digging into his neck and back until they were surely bleeding. He didn’t care; revelled in it, in fact.

It was enough that he, proudly, could climax inside of me. However he didn’t let up. Instead, he continued to rut into me at the same brutal pace, as though he hadn’t cum at all, fucking his and my cum into me. It was then it became obvious that he was only interested in his own pleasure and watching me come undone all for the wrong reasons.

I was desperate for it to be over as he changed positions slightly, sitting up as he grasped my legs and pulled them to his chest. It reached new depths and I suspected that his cock had not only bruised my cervix but was downright fucking it from the blinding pain I was in.

I clawed at the ground until my fingers were bleeding. I couldn’t stop my cries and moans despite trying my best. I felt dirty. I felt used. And he was nowhere close to done based on how he was fucking into me so rhythmically. As though he was addicted.

And in a way he was. He was getting pussy drunk as he watched my tits bounce with each thrust. It was downright addictive.

He couldn’t let me go after this. No, he couldn’t let Gojo have me. It was rare he found a feisty woman he could dominate so well. Especially when he realised I had two vaginas for him to fuck; it was perfect, he concluded, scheming.

No, this was a dynamic he wanted to continue.

So, once I’d passed out as he continued to use me for his own pleasure, he made sure to mark me on my throat. Somewhere obvious. Somewhere anyone could be reminded of him. It was the same shape as the seal on his tongue whenever he spoke in Itadori’s body. And it linked to him.

He would know what I was doing at all times. He’d be able to keep track of me. He couldn’t help but laugh as he climaxed, leaving more bruises on me as he forced me to cum through my passed-out state, flicking my clit mercilessly, watching as I spasmed around him, more fluid shooting out and onto his pelvis despite my state.

This was exactly as he’d imagined it would be. Ne, better, even.

This couldn’t have gone better, and he was going to take his time to appreciate and indulge in it, that was sure.

I wasn't sure how long the whole act lasted. I lost track of how many rounds we went, how many times I came or how many times he came. I just know I was red raw and that my body was a bruised mess as he began to mark me with his nails and teeth, clawing and biting - and I mean clawing and biting - at me till I was bleeding and would likely scar. There were bruises everywhere and I was in agony.

I was left there by him until he was done using me, having passed out ages ago. When I came to he was walking away and I was alone. I winced, feeling everything hit me all at once.

I was butt-naked, covered in bruising, bites, scratches and hickeys. I was in pain as his cum pooled out of me and onto the floor, down my thighs.

I used my eyes, seeing Sukuna leave me alone, done with me and my breath hitched when I recognised the image of Fushiguro with him.

I didn’t have a hope in hell of helping him. And yet I stumbled to my feet, grabbing the jumpsuit from one of the dead inmates, not having anything else to cover myself with, before charging.

That was when he looked back at me, ready to use his cursed technique to be away with me. I snarled, dodging the attack with Immunity. But the bigger shock was the fact I was healing myself, without even realising it; it was subconscious and preemptive, which had Sukuna staring at me, finally seeing me as more than just an object.

“Oi, oi, oi!” he chuckled, “Even more potential!” he beamed, laughing maniacally. I glared as he added, “Maybe you were right and you have more use than just a cock sleeve. Look at you.” he cackled and immediately I grew suspicious, “I did cum in you, afterall. Only a woman interesting is worthy of my seed.

“Come on.” he motioned for me to run at him, “I’ll entertain you. See if you can implement positive energy with your fighting style.” he offered, making me gasp.

This was a turn. Originally he was planning to just use me to get off and leave, keeping me alive for future use. But now I’d intrigued him to the point that he wanted me to go all out.

So, I did as I was told, even as his cum spilled out of my womb and through the jumpsuit, some down my legs, the abuse still raw. And yet I was still trying.

It was something that made his grin impossibly wider.

I was already quite fast - fast enough to mostly keep up with a slow version of Gojo. However, when I applied my cursed energy to them, it allowed me to speed up closer to both Gojo and Sukuna’s levels. The more I practised, the faster I got and even Sukuna could plainly see my quick learning and adaptability.

What really intrigued him, however, was my attempts at my cursed techniques. He watched as I bobbed and weaved through his attacks, literally, whilst keeping my fist aimed towards him physical. It meant that, whilst none of his hits were landing, I was still able to attack whilst isolating parts of my body.

That required a lot of concentration and control.

So when I tried to apply positive energy, his grin became even wider. He watched as it flared between one hand and the other. However, when I stopped, he frowned.

“You can’t stop in the middle of a battle, brat.” he glared, “You dare waste my time?” I shook my head.

“I-I’m trying to do something but…”

“What is it now?” I frowned.

“If I can just combine them, I can use them simultaneously.” I mumbled, earning a raised brow. I looked down at my hands, brows furrowed, as I attempted to channel both positive energy and cursed energy together, only for it to create more positive energy. I growled.

“No one can use them simultaneously-” Sukuna began, ready to mock.

Until I did. I grinned.

“Emulsification.” I concluded, walking in a semicircle towards him. His gaze didn’t drop from my hands, “The ability to use Immunity as a barrier to mix positive energy AND cursed energy simultaneously, without cursed energy turning directly into positive energy.”

“You used the basic capability of Immunity to separate and yet mix the two.” he laughed, “Nice, very nice.” he commended before motioning for me to rush him, “Now fight me. Show me your worth.”

Unfortunately, Sukuna was anything but kind when it came to his fights. And I wasn’t good enough to avoid all of his hits as he attempted to throw me up into the reminder of the ceiling, sending me up and then down.

When I landed with a flip, I went for him again. Punch, kick, block. I couldn’t land a hit as he effortlessly dodged, hands in his pockets and a grin on his face.

When he punched me in the face, through the building and into the rain, he dragged me through the floor, making me groan as my head bled. Instantly I was already applying cursed energy preemptively to heal myself, but I didn’t realise one terrifying prospect.

“(L/N)-senpai?!”

My eyes widened when I heard Fushiguro. Shaking my head I got to my feet.

“Get out of here, Megumi-”

“Sorry, but he’s not coming back.” Sukuna greeted, appearing behind Fushiguro as I ran over towards him, getting between them, “Don’t be so frightened. I’m in a great mood right now.

“Let’s chat for a bit.” he concluded, walking past us with his hands in his pocket, casually, “This is what he gets for trying to use me without any kind of pact. Feels like he’s having some trouble switching back.

“Still, though…” Sukuna removed his shirt and hoodie, forcefully, “It’s only a matter of time.

“So… I thought about what I can do right now.”

To our shock and horror, Sukuna stabbed into his chest, causing him to cough up blood, and reached in. We both gasped.

“Wh-what are you…?” I shook my head.

“His heart…” our eyes widened.

“I’m taking this brat hostage. Fucking you was just the start.” Sukuna cackled, making Fushiguro look over at me, horrified as the realisation of what had happened to me, and why I was wearing different clothes, dawned upon him. However, he was distracted by the heart.

“Hostage?!” Fushiguro begged, tense.

“Yeah. I can live without this, but that ain’t true for the brat.” he revealed, throwing it to the side. I gulped.

“Switching out with me means he dies.”

‘Reverse cursed technique will be able to heal him, but I’d have to go through Sukuna; it’s not like he’s gonna let Itadori take control before dying nor will he let me use the technique without a fight…’

“Also…” he added, bringing out the finger the cursed spirit had had lodged in its chest, “For good measure.” he grinned, before slowly eating it, “With that, I’m free as a bird.

“You can be frightened now.” he tensed up, grinning maniacally, “I’ll kill you! For no particular reason.”

“Our positions are reversed now.” Fushiguro muttered before getting into position, “You just don’t get it. He’s…

“Itadori’s coming back.” he concluded, me nodding in agreement, “Even if that means he’ll die. That’s just who he is.”

“You give him too much credit. This guy’s just a little tougher and denser than other humans.” he smirked, wiping away the blood from his mouth, “Just a moment ago, he was scared out of his mind, on the verge of death, and prattling on about his regrets and all that nonsense.

“I know for a fact he doesn’t have the guts to kill himself.”

Fushiguro noted that Itadori’s hand was restored, clearly by one of the reverse cursed techniques. However, he also recognised that Sukuna was incarnated and that, therefore, he should still be affected being without a heart. He concluded he’d try to restore his heart before Itadori returns - and I was thinking similarly.

‘We need to restore his heart.’ I frowned, ‘If I could get get close enough to him to do it, we should be good-’

Fushiguro had no clue if he could do that, knowing how he reacted to the special-grade that Sukuna just killed, shaking. He also didn’t think I looked capable of doing the same. However, he concluded it wasn’t about if we ‘could’ - we had no choice.

Immediately Fushiguro signed for his Shikigami, bringing Nue to the front, making me gasp.

“Megumi-!”

Sukuna stretched as Fushiguro charged, Nue going to the other side of Sukuna, both ready to attack. I cursed, but followed, also on the offensive.

“I’m finally outside, after all.” Sukuna grinned, “Let’s use the open space.”

Fushiguro went for a kick, then two punches as I attacked from the other side, both missing as Sukuna dodged expertly, hands still in his pockets like before. More punches, none landing, ensued before Sukuna jumped to the side.

“Interesting.” he mused, “You use Shikigami, but you’ll still come at me yourself.” he concluded as he ignored me, batting off my attacks like a duck in water.

Nue dived, only for Sukuna to dodge again. Frustrated, Fushiguro went for another punch, then a kick as I tried to uppercut him before going for his gut, both trying to take advantage of Nue’s distraction, only for him to continue dodging with his hands still in his pockets.

Fushiguro and I continued to punch and kick with all our might. And Sukuna watched in amusement, chanting, “More.” He then, in a change of pace, grabbed Fushiguro’s fist and pulled him towards himself before swinging him, “More!” he concluded, pulling him so they were face to face, “Put more curse behind it,” he practically purred before backhanding Fushiguro, “when you strike me!”

“Megumi!” I yelled.

“Orochi!” Fushiguro yelled, signing for him. Unperturbed, Sukuna let the Shikigami bite him, pulling him into the sky, “Gang up on him!”

“Megumi, withdraw!” I yelled, seeing his cursed energy flaring even as Nue came in with sparks flying.

Unfortunately, I was too late as Sukuna split Orochi from the inside out and suddenly he was on the ground, fist grappling the back of Fushiguro’s blazer. I gulped, running towards them, unprepared for Sukuna’s next move.

“Hey, what did I just say?” he uttered before throwing Fushiguro through the air.

“Megumi!” I cried before cursing. Quickly I used Nullification to fly after them, going to kick Sukuna before he could reach Fushiguro, only for him to grab my foot, spin me in the air and throw me into Fushiguro.

“Let’s use the open space!” Before leaping after us and kicking us both into the buildings, forcing us both across two buildings.

That wasn’t enough, of course. He then appeared to Fushiguro’s left and kicked him into another building, forcing him through it and out the other side. Before throwing me in the same direction. I just about had time to react, activating Nullification on the descent. My legs were broken and I was suffering many serious injuries. So as I healed myself I looked for Fushiguro, cursing myself for not being capable of healing others.

Nue, on it, swooped in, grappling Fushiguro mid-air as Fushiguro lamented in his mind about how powerful Sukuna is, only for him to jump up, ready to strike them down.

“Nice technique there.” he noted, battering them down and into a building, to which they collapsed through until hitting the bottom.

“Megumi!” I yelled, appearing beside him. Fushiguro, on the other hand, concluded it was best to withdraw Nue before he’s destroyed like Orochi, reminding him of how White Dog was also destroyed.

“I get it now.” Sukuna noted, hands on his hips, “So your Shikigami are created from shadows.

“So what?”

“Hmm…” Sukuna mused, hand to chin, “I don’t get it, though. Why did you run back then?” he chuckled, releasing his chin and motioning his hand outwards, “What a waste of talent.” that caught Fushiguro’s attention, “Whatever.

“Either way, that won’t be enough to fix this.” he directed at the gaping hole in his chest. I deflated as Fushiguro smirked, both realising our plan was figured out, “You’re risking your life over stupid shit. This brat isn’t even worth that much.” Fushiguro hobbled to stand, barely stable as I supported him, only for him to push me behind him as I was close to passing out.

However, he began to get into position, cursed energy enveloping his body, all as he thought of his sister and her curse as well as his deadbeat father. Then it moved onto his desires of wanting more good people to enjoy fairness with no thanks to karma.

“Nice!” Sukuna grinned, “That’s it.

“So this is when you start burning through your life! Now I see.” he uttered, walking forward, “Well, in that case… Show me, Fushiguro Megumi!” he cried.

It was in that moment everything clicked for me. I could digest cursed energy, break it down and read it. It was enough that I could understand Sukuna’s cursed technique and possibly utilise it myself. Everything made sense.

So I watched as Fushiguro prepared his attack and I swallowed, hard, my head hurting.

“Sacred treasure swing and ring, ring, Eight Grip-!”

Suddenly all of his cursed energy left him. He stood there in the rain, still in stance. I was prepared to fight as I was nearly fully healed, but he relaxed slightly, confusing me as I slumped on the ground, spent.

“Just so you know, I… don’t have any logical reason for saving you back then.” Fushiguro admitted, “Even if it was dangerous, I couldn’t bear to see a good person like you die.

“I did have my reservations, but ultimately, it was for selfish, emotional reasons.

“That’s fine, though.” he added, “I’m not a hero.” he released his form and relaxed as Itadori began to take back control, “I’m a jujutsu sorcerer.

“So I’ve never once regretted saving you.”

“Yuji…” I began to cry, shaking my head, unable to use positive energy any longer.

“I see.” Itadori grinned, rubbing the back of his head, “You really are smart, Fushiguro. You’ve put more thought into this than I have.” he admitted before concluding, “I think your conviction’s a proper one, but I don’t think mine is wrong, either.”

More blood spilled from his wound as blood stilled in his body. There wasn’t long left and he knew it. I was close to blacking out.

“Oh, sorry, I’m almost done for.” he reminded, “Guess I won’t have to worry about you both, Kugisaki, or Gojo-sensei.” he uttered before beginning to fall, done for, “Live a long life.”

Fushiguro’s lip wobbled as he held in tears. I, on the other hand, openly bawled my eyes out.

“Yuji…” I cried, bringing my hands to my face as I crouched down beside him, shaking my head. To my surprise, I felt Fushiguro place a hand gently on my head, making me look up.

He gave a weak smile. It held sadness and empathy.

I returned it before passing out.

#fanfic #fanfiction #sukuna x reader #sukuna #sukuna smut #ryomen sukuna #jujutsu kaisen sukuna #sukuna ryomen #jujutsu ryomen #yuji itadori #jujutsu sukuna #jujutsu kaisen anime #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen

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pupcuck · 4 months

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tw - sa mention, noncon mention, dark content discussed briefly but not explicitly

hi okay sorry for the unfathomable amount of bullshit clogging the tags the past few days. i keep seeing it labelled as gilfhub drama which is pissing me off as i haven’t said anything at all, i’ve stayed quiet throughout unless you follow me and read my posts. while i haven’t outwardly inserted myself into the situation im the one being witch hunted ig, i’m making one last statement which sounds way too serious for this corny and unserious situation.

anyway, i'm mostly making this for my own benefit, because i would feel more at peace after posting this lmfao. first of all, I’m being called a pedophile which is a fucking insanely serious claim to make with no concrete evidence! i’ve never written underage characters. if you’ve mistaken my ddlg content as pedophillia i beg you to get your brain checked! your skull must be so thick it couldn’t be caved in with a baseball bat. other than that i mainly write about LEGAL age gaps bc I am 19 and leon is fucking 47 as of now he is the creep actually.

i’m being called a rapist and a paedophile and all sorts of shit. im a victim of sa, it’s happened both at the hands of someone i trusted and at the hands of those i didn’t know well. some of my writing is to cope with this, none of my fics have ever romanticised rape and made it seem like something flowery and cute and fun? i don’t know who pulled that out of their ass but my fics that involve this sort of content are usually about toxic codependent relationships, it’s quite literally about trauma bonding.

this moves me onto my next point - people say this content belongs on ao3 and ao3 only. i don’t know if you’re 11 and new to the internet, to re fandom in fact, as dead dove has been a consistent theme within re fics since forever. since i was a kid i saw fics like that and even as a fucking 10 year old i managed to scroll and mind my business. tumblr has always had dead dove, when it rebranded and the guidelines changed they messed up their tagging system. this means that even if you tag tw incest it’ll remove your fic from the TAGS not from tumblr itself but from the tags as a whole. however, if you tag tw noncon your fic will stay up, it’s glitchy and dumb and shouldn’t be seen as a reliable source on why dead dove isn’t allowed on tumblr. that’s never been the case ever.

people who write dead dove don’t have to be victims and they don’t have to be mentally ill, they are also normal people with jobs who pay taxes and have normal fucking lives. because it’s simply fiction. people who read/watch american psycho are not murderers or rapists. people who watch any form slasher horror are not murderers. people who enjoy resident fucking evil and like wesker don’t fucking believe in eugenics. i could go on and on and on and on about so many different examples in extremely popular franchises.

as aforementioned, tumblr’s tagging system fucking sucks, so to combat this i give a warning even AFTER i explicitly tag my fics correctly that says ‘tumblr has started to remove fics that use tw non-con, tw incest and any nsfw tags in general. for this reason, as i’d like my fic to appear in the tags so i can have the same reach as other authors, please understand that this fic contains dark content under the cut. reading this comes at your own risk.’ for some reason I didn’t specify remove from the TAGS not from TUMBLR because tumblr doesn’t care 😭 that was totally my mistake for not checking if that disclaimer made sense but i guess i hoped the following sentence (‘as i’d like my fic to appear in the tags’) made it clear that i was simply speaking about tags. not tumblr removing my content.

if you are genuinely adults on this app, you should know that on the internet sometimes you will see things you don’t like! because it’s the internet and everyone is on here with their own opinions and their own tastes. it is YOUR responsibility to cater to your own needs by blocking content you don’t enjoy. so what another dark content blog pops up? as soon as you see a content warning you don’t like, BLOCK THE AUTHOR? or ignore it! scrolling is very simple. it’s insanely easy to mind your fucking business.

i'm kind of tired of the endless harassment both in the tags and in my inbox! if you are genuinely doing this in the name of victims and in their best interest just know you’re harming other victims in the process 😭 i am not easily triggered but the shit in my inbox is really gross and i got called a racial slur like… is fictional content that’s easy to block so deep to the point where you have to stoop that low? everyone copes how they cope, it’s not wrong and it never will be, psychologists recommend dark content as an outlet, you can literally google this. therapy is not a fix, it can’t fix mental illness. sometimes it doesn’t help. in my case counselling made everything worse. the ‘get help, get therapy’ comment comes from a place of privilege, not all of us have the money, the support system it takes to get therapy. some of us have had experiences where therapists discriminate against us. in my case that has happened, im a woc in britain they don’t care about us not about our psychical or mental health LMFAO.

im sure im missing a lot of what i originally wanted to say here, but overall i honestly wanted to clear my name of the pedo allegations lmfao because i’ve never written anything like that about underage characters or readers. anyway if any of you have a brain you can block dark content creators in a few easy steps! sorry again for yapping in such a formless, inarticulate way but i'm kind of exhausted by all the stupidity 😭

overall, dark content creators shouldn’t be allocated a little hovel in the corner of the internet in which they should privately discuss matters. we’re allowed to post it freely because CONTENT WARNINGS EXIST. dead dove will always be a thing and always has been. just because i post my content doesn’t mean it’s open for harassment and death threats and rape threats or anything? you can be an adult and get on with your day! and if you really need an outlet go talk to friends with the same opinions as you! i see ooc leon fluff all the time everyday and i don’t give a shit, i move on because leon isn’t real.

i pride myself on characterisation and if you have so obsessively read my fics to point out and circle random words in red that don’t correlate like we’re in a fucking crime show, then you would know that half the time i actually flesh out his character, i hate posting smut alone. i simply like exploring topics that are dark both to cope with my own problems and because i think they’re interesting to write about. however, as soon as something is mildly dark and sexual you guys cry mischaracterisation. leon also isn’t lighting candles and throwing rose petals but I don’t fucking judge what people write because if I don’t like I don’t read!

i promise, posting screenshots of my fics untagged with no warning is more harmful as you’re showing it to people who didn’t ask to fucking see it. i promise that harassing me will do nothing for you, you’re literally just sending vile shit to a real person who has struggled with the things she writes about LMFAO sorry again for yapping. i genuinely want to move on and post my regular shit but this has consumed the entire leon tag and i feel like im partly responsible. if you did get through this thank you! it’s mainly just ramblings and not read over so excuse me once again

#leon kennedy x you #leon s kennedy x you #leon s kennedy x reader #leon kennedy imagine #leon s kennedy smut #leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy smut #resident evil x reader #resident evil smut #tw sa mention #tw discourse

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gentlebeardsbarngrill · 2 months

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02/24/2024 Daily OFMD Recap

TLDR; Cast&CrewSightings; Samba BTS; David Jenkins; Rhys Darby; Damien Gerard; Guz Khan!; SaveOFMD Crew Billboard; AdoptOurCrew Saturday Sillies; Making A Difference; Articles; Love Notes; Daily Darby/Tonight's Taika;

Been a long Saturday yall. Hope you enjoyed the BTS and general clown/honking going around!

== Cast & Crew Sightings ==

= Samba Schutte Feat. David Jenkins! =

Samba's back with more BTS for us today!

This time the Crew Shoutout is for Chaos Dad himself: David Jenkins! So good to see Chaos dad having such a great time BTS. We love you David!

Videos on Tumblr:

Video 1

Video 2

Video 3

= Rhys Darby =

Rhys decided to take it up a notch today on his Tiktok/Instagram and tell... someone they've created a monster. Who might that be?

== Damien Gerard ==

Our crew-mate @patchworkpiratebear got a Cameo from our lovely Father-Teach, Damien Gerard! There's a bit of a story behind it, see below! Cameo link

== Guz Khan! ==

Hey! It's been a hot minute since we've seen our friend Guz Khan-- and now he's showed up on a cat! Good to see you sir!

== Save OFMD Crew ==

There have been questions raised about the billboard that the SaveOFMD Crew have been posting teasers for on their socials. The Crew had a meeting today wherein they discussed the concerns of the fandom, and have taken that feedback to heart. They are currently working on a clear information packet regarding the logistics of the current billboard efforts. They have kindly asked for your patience while they finish putting those last touches together!

== @adoptourcrew Saturday Sillies! ==

Our friends over at @adoptourcrew were kind enough to set up a new Saturday Sillies this week! This time they made custom OFMD Wordles! There were WAY too many images to include in the recap, so if you'd like to check them out, please visit the tumblr post below!

Wanna play? You can visit a tumblr post here

== Making a Difference! ==

Thank you to everyone who contributed to, or shared the fundraiser for Trans Pride Brighton! They've finally met their goal and can stay open another year! You made a serious difference in the lives of trans and non-binary folk in that community!

== Articles ==

Deze HBO-serie is gecanceld, maar had een 95% op Rotten Tomatoes

Schwule Romanze zwischen Piratenkapitänen

== Love Notes ==

Hey lovelies. I hope you had a fun Saturday/Sunday wherever you are. I know some of you are already closing out the weekend. We made it through another day-- and there's all sorts of action going on across all the platforms. I hope you got a chance to have fun, but also to rest. I know you know this, but even though I do too I often forget it. Rest is so very important. It's so easy to burn out, especially when we're constantly exposed to so much online. I think to myself "oh it's fine I'll just get a few more things done" and then it's suddenly 3 hours later and I've had only 4 hrs sleep in the last 30. Please please please give yourself self care today. Go brush your teeth, or take a shower. If you feel like you can do more, brush your hair, or make yourself a nice cup of tea. Do something for you that makes you relax and feel rested. On your last day of the weekend, make sure to take a few moments to yourself and just remember how awesome you are. You may not feel like it sometimes, but I can tell you now you truly are Awe-some. You bring so much life and love to this world and you deserve all beautiful things you want. Anyway, I'm very sleepy and I'm rambling again (what's new). Sleep well and enjoy your day lovelies, see you tomorrow.

== Daily Darby / Today's Taika ==

I'm being lazy tonight again yall. Just two goofy gifs that caught my eye, sorry I am running on fumes. Tomorrow I'll try to find some themed ones for ya <3

Rhys Gif: Courtesy of @fandomsmeantheworldtome

Taika Gif: ohnotheydidnt.livejournal

#daily ofmd recaps #ofmd daily recaps #ofmd daily recap #daily ofmd recap #our flag means death #ofmd #rhys darby #taika waititi #samba schutte #david jenkins #chaos dad #daddy jenkins #guz khan #damien gerard #save ofmd #save our flag means death #adopt our crew #save ofmd crew

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batmanisagatewaydrug · 5 months

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I feel like I owe you an apology. Every time you brought up batman fanon or WFA, I thought you were just being a grinch.

I haven't really looked into the fandom since I was in an obsessive comic phase like ~15 years ago, and one of my favorite Batman comics is Li'l Gotham, so I just assumed it was the familiar "how dare you like goofy baby stories more than the dark serious stories?" sentiment I often got from Hardcore Batman Fans, as if liking it meant I couldn't enjoy the other comics, too.

But I happened to browse some tags recently and…oh my god. OH MY GOD? I can forgive the strange overwhelming amount of WFA-esque content- people like what they like. I can't forgive the people making meta posts over "proper characterization" sourcing their own ass? To argue Bruce is only ever written well when he's portrayed as a good dad?? To insist Dick is always the loving supportive big brother who does no wrong? Where is all this coming from?? I love lighthearted, silly side content stuff, but I thought it was widely understood these clowns are walking disasters, when did that change? I truly, honestly thought the "never reads comics" talk from people was just a way to belittle others' preferences, but I really… don't think they DO read any non-WFA comics to have some of these takes. Wow.

I'm so sorry for doubting you.

listen. I appreciate your honesty here. I AM frequently a grinch for no reason except the perverse pleasure that it brings me to be a grody little hater.

but I am no remotely goofing about the severity of the disconnect between the people who are fans of Batman comics and people who are fans of a made up version of the Batfamily born from incorrect quotes blogs and AUs where the Bats recognize that they have mental health problems and actually deal with them.

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itspyon · 2 months

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there’s only two more things i’d mention aside from your super well made points about the current state of drontent, one about dnf/fan content and the other about stans.

i understand that parasocialism hit him hard after the face reveal and physically experiencing it is wildly different to experiencing it online but i think part of what he perceived as parasocialism was just the fandom coping.

for a long time there was little to no dream content (for good reason and i don’t blame him for it at all of course) and dnf artists and writers stepped up to fill that gap. not to discredit other ship artists and writers but there just weren’t as many as for dnf and they never got the same attention. this meant that the thing fuelling the fandom and therefore the thing most wildly discussed was fan content and as such was dnf.

this is relevant to the current state of things because by putting his dnf assertion in the truth video- the most serious video he has ever and will ever have to make- alongside some big boundary shifts and other insanely serious stuff he’s inadvertently cut down fan content at the knees.

there’s nowhere near as much ship or non ship fanfic, fanart, or just general fan creations as there was even a week before the truth dropped because nobody has the motivation and everyone is worried about what too far is, in the past he might have clarified/expanded on twitter or on a minecraft chatting stream but now we don’t have that association with him anymore basically at all.

so now we have no dream content and no fan content and people are using this assertion that he is innocent to make peace with the fandom and leave because there’s really not enough to keep people interested, it’s experiencing the post-october content drought without the weight on everyone’s shoulders that provided a tether to each other in a way.

on stans, i understand his new perspective but i think his u turn being completely unprecedented kind of blindsided people. dream fans and dream stans, especially in recent years, have been very self-regulating and very cognisant of dreams explicit wishes. if he was uncomfortable with the way stans were acting there’s a sense that he could have mentioned it to the fandom first before he accidentally provided people who hate his fandom with ammunition against them.

overall i just wish the handling of his expectations and wishes for his fanbase weren’t put on blast in such a way because it’s not done anything to ease the hostile perception of dream fans. sorry for essaying in your askbox btw and please don’t perceive this as me being a r/dwt2 level crazy it’s just that i miss dream, and moreso i miss the more comfortable days in the fandom when- even with the crazies and the infighting- there was some sense of unity and contentment and dream wasn’t afraid to come to us as just another person and offer guidance/engage with us casually.

oh this wasn't crazy at all anon. i totally get this for sure ! i agree, very well put

#pyon askies #pyon long post

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goofyarbuzik · 6 days

Text

hi cookie run fandom.

There is a serious topic I'd like to talk about.

tw/cw for opinions

(and lil warning for possible grammar mistakes, english is my second language ಥ⁠‿⁠ಥ)

You may disagree with me, that's completely fine, but don't force your opinion on me.

So, what I wanna talk about is extremely childish and toxic behavior of this community.

For the whole time that cookie run exist there were a lot of completely USELESS and CHILDISH conflicts about any kind of ships and other people's headcanons for any character's sexuality. Especially nowadays, which always give me a lot of negative emotions.

Usually these arguing happens in the english part of cr community(which I'm not even surprised about), but it also happened in any other part of the fandom. Which always looks completely ridiculous and childish, don't you think?

y'all literally act like a walking circus or kindergarten whenever you fight over headcanons/ships

please understand that Cookie run franchise does not have any confirmed queer characters. The only exception is Cookie's with different genders, like bigender, non-binary etc.

And I'm so upset that I really have to explain this.

Cookie run's main focus is it's story. It doesn't focus on romance almost at all. Y'all fighting for no fucking reason

You can headcanon character's sexuality in any way you'd like, you can ship any character with each other (AS LONG AS ITS NOT PEDO/ZOO ETC, THAT'S DISGUSTING)

just don't force your, not gonna be sorry for saying this, shitty opinion on others. You shouldn't attack any person just because "YOU SHIP A (non) CANONICAL GAY/LESBIAN WITH THE OPPOSITE GENDER!!!1!1!!"

just stop making a fucking circus because of SOMEONE'S ON THE INTERNET, WHO YOU SEE FOR THE FIRST TIME opinion. I recently had a situation where I've received an insult simply because I ship red velvet with pomegranate, which made me not want to post any content with them in any other socials than my telegram channel

I was so insecure about sharing my comfort ship FOR A LONG FUCKING TIME, and after I finally felt confident enough I DONT WANT TO DO THAT EVER AGAIN.

Im starting to feel very disgusted and uncomfortable in this shitty fandom, because I can get accused of "being homophobic" just because I don't share the same headcanon with another person.

Again, cookie run focuses ON IT'S STORY, NOT ROMANCE, which means that people have full freedom to headcanon and ship characters in any way as long as it's not problematic

And if a character feels attracted to the same gender that DOES NOT mean that they're gay/lesbian, REMEMBER ABOUT BISEXUAL SPECTRUM FOR ONCE, GUYS.

I'm really tired of people fighting over COOKIE'S WITH ALMOST NO CONFIRMED SEXUALITY, I'm tired of people get hate for ships that are not that bad, JUST STOP THIS INSANE SHIT ALREADY.

#cookie run #cookie run kingdom #cookie run ovenbreak #crk #crob #cookie run shipping #cookie run headcanons

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crunchchute · 4 months

Text

Hey! Welcome to my (mostly) art blog. You can refer to me as Crunch here. Enjoy your stay!

🎨 Art info - using my art as your pfp, banner, edits, etc. is OK with credit! Reposting my art is OK only in places where i DON'T have an account, with credit, with the exception of pinterest (i have an acc there but it's OK to repost there with proper credit/link to og post) and i don't mind RP accounts etc. if credited properly. Don't crop out my tag from images or edit them out (exception is a cropped pfp). I don't do requests all the time, only if i make a post about it :] art comms normally closed but i occassionaly make an exception or offer a couple slots.

💚 My main favs change every couple of months, but FNAF and Dynasty Warriors are fandoms i've been in the longest, since 2014, so i always tend to come back to them :] I also enjoy Sonic (specifically non-game media) and have a lovehate relationship with Gorillaz (i just like the art, Murdoc and the music rn). Also got into Sam & Max.

💜 General likes are anything halloween-y, animals, birds and insects; emo, scene, visual kei and dark style of clothing and hair, cute and goofy plushies, and if i ever start talking about cooking or food, Run. I love drawing, sewing, crafting, p much anything creative. I collect furbies, they're my favs :]

❌️ I do not want any terfs and hate towards trans people here, hate towards furries, therians, otherkins, hate towards things people consider "cringe" and i dont answer any weirdos. I don't like bringing heavy topics here unless it's very serious. I have a "live and let live" approach to things, so unless you're doing something actually harmful and/or illegal, i tend to not judge or care. Be nice.

🖤 This is a lgbt safe space. I'm transmasc. He/they prns are interchangeable, it pronoun is okay (think of me as a little bug or a small monkey like my fursona is). I also consider myself unlabeled, but looking into the demi and ficto labels...

‼️ Being overly familiar with me is mostly okay UNLESS it comes off as rude (like calling me "little bro", "bitch", etc. or talking to me as if we were year long friends when you're a total stranger, messaging me for the first time, non-follower etc.) Again, be nice. I sometimes use some tone tags.

👽 English is my learned language so sorry if my vocab is lacking. Sorry if i come off as too serious or deadpan, i have a hard time expressing excitement most of the time. Also everything i post is not super serious, im just a pro hater and gotta meet my quota from time to time 😈 /j and when i theorize it's all just for fun! That's what it should be about!

🔗Links:

☕️ You can support me here :] (kofi)

🧷 My Spacehey that i rarely go to

🖍 My Telegram if you wish to talk about art commissions (contact admin)

🐰 TSE Dave telegram sticker pack

🎨 Aggie link

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spectralsleuth · 7 months

Note

Saw you were lookin’ for some asks dont mind if I do 👀

To start off, I’m such a big fan of your writing! I genuinely look forward to every single update of yours and find myself rereading a lot of work in the downtime. You are such a good writer!! My never ending praises aside, here are some asks!

-You incorporate OC’s into your fics so seamlessly! They feel so natural in your fics that I legit get excited anytime they show up (srsly can’t wait for Lou Jitsu vs Hidden City, Sal’s my boy) lol how do you find the right balance when introducing and maintaining OC’s in your fics? I feel like that’s a particularly difficult balance beam to tread but you absolutely crush it.

-A previous ask you answered about Cass and Raph in LSoW got me thinking; how do the brothers handle humans crushing on them? Would they be receptive or dismissive? Do they develop crushes on humans- and if so, how is that perceived (by family or the general public)? The drama 👀

Last ask, I promise:

-I absolutely loved your crossover with Empathy is Learned! Got anymore crossovers planned in the future? Oooor if you could do a crossover with any other fic, which one(s) would it/they be??

Thanks for taking the time to even look at this! I hope these are some fun asks for ya :) I hope you have a lovely day!!

Omg thanks so much... I'm so happy people enjoy my writing it's crazy to me. I've written before, but it's always been just for myself so I never really know if it was good or not. (Years of text based DnD is to thank lol.) (Okay I got carried away answering this so sorry in advance.)

On OC's:

I got a lot of comments on LSoW from people who say "generally I don't like OC's BUT-" which is so funny and flattering. Because I am absolutely one of those people who don't care for OC's in fic.

Let me be clear: I LOVE that people write self indulgent self-insert of OC based fic, where they make the craziest off the wall story etc. Every time a fifteen year old writes a story about the cringiest Mary-sue/stu self insert, or non canon character, an angel gets its wings and I mean that one hundred percent. It makes me so happy I literally grin when I see it. I HOWEVER generally filter out the OC tags on AO3 when I'm looking for something to read myself.

So when I started posting LSoW I was expecting to get maybe like, 100 kudos MAX, maybe one comment or so. Which is great! I love writing niche fic just for me, and one other person who I assume I must be drift compatible with. I just could not figure out a way to write the story I wanted without a few OC's- Rise didn't have a big enough character catalog for me to draw from!

When I went to write the OC's, I knew that they had to have a very simple backstory, that was also very fleshed out. (Xander and Sal have full family, Dr. Heo and Carter have full jobs and history together, etc.) For another contradiction I wanted them to be interesting enough that someone reading wouldn't just be skipping ahead to when they weren't present, or just simply plowing through to get past the part where they were doing exposition. They had to be enjoyable! While also forwarding the story!

They also had to be distinct. Anyone who's ever watched a Whedon show or movie (Buffy, Firefly, Avengers-) knows what I'm talking about. It drives me nuts when the characters in a show are constantly the funniest person in the room, with the same personality traits, and the same girl boss/badass tendencies.

(Fandom challenge Impossible: Give a female fan favorite character another trait besides 'girlboss/mom/lesbian'. I'm dead serious.)

(Also a disclaimer: I LOVE making jokes and doing bits. I FANCY that I'm pretty funny, and I love making people laugh. But you can do that without making it a character personality trait. For example: Xander doesn't really crack any jokes in LSoW! He's just funny because we the reader know more about the situation and his thoughts than he does.)

But the BIGGEST THING I kept telling myself while writing the story, was DO NOT TAKE AWAY FROM THE TURTLES. Because the whole point of the story is the turtles! And Yoshi! The OC's are there to facilitate that. It's a hard balance to hit. I have all sorts of touchstones I keep in mind while I'm writing, and that's a big one.

(A SUPER good example of this done super well is @faiakishi 's Bella from Dawning of the Hour. She's a great OC that's super interesting, and a super important narrative element, but she never detracts from the main story. Big Bella fan here lmao. There's also the rest of the OC's/interpretations of franchise characters (TIGERCLAW), but Bella stands out as truly original.)

On the Turtles dating Humans:

(CW: CSA mention, SA mention, non graphic talk of minors dating etc.)

I actually talked a lot about this to @/tangledinink in feverish discord chats lmao.

When the boys were growing up they got a very detailed talk from both Yoshi, and their Doctors. ONE: Because nobody will know better than themselves if something was medically wrong with their bodies, TWO: The boys are all intersex (minus Mikey) and they had to understand that there was nothing wrong with them on TOP of the turtle thing, and THREE: Because Yoshi knew the boys would be getting a lot of attention, and you never know what kind of attention that form will take.

THE BEST WAY to protect children (any child) from being sexually assaulted or abused, is making sure they know what that abuse LOOKS LIKE. You don't have to make them terrified of being sexually assaulted, but them knowing how their body works, and also how to say NO and set boundaries, will combine to help make them safer.

Yoshi didn't know what would happen in the future and in a perfect world the boys would never leave his line of sight, but that's not always how things happen. (In a Short Season, Xander parroted Yoshi's instructions before going out to make sure the boys knew what to do if someone grabbed them (in any way) and it was to bite and be loud.) So the boys grew up knowing their bodies, knowing how to say 'no', and knowing that there was probably going to be people out there who would treat them as a novelty, and who wouldn't be appropriate to them as celebrities OR non-humans.

(Remember Emma Watson having to deal with that countdown to her turning 18? Or any other amount of child stars who had to deal with adults being predatory to them.)

But ALSO THIS IS HAMATO YOSHI. His sons are HANDSOME and HEARTBREAKERS! Leo has dated a lot but never anything seriously, and his inability to be intimate with anyone but family kind of puts a damper on any more permanent relationship. (He is gay.) He's the number one turtle people ask out because he's the most approachable. Because he made himself that way!

Donnie is in a sort of relationship with Kendra. (THIS WILL BE A FIC I'm working up to it lmao.) I have a head canon that Yokai and other empyrean based creatures are capable of having rivalry based relationships. IE Yoshi and Draxum in the canon show, the unhealthy dynamic between Yoshi and Big Mama, etc. (Caliginous relationship) Donnie is in a puppy love version of that with Kendra, while also lacking the context of yokai society to understand why he wants to punch her very badly, but also if anything happened to her he would die. They hate each others guts and also she was his first kiss. She is not a nice person I am not a Kendra apologist she's terrible I love her. (Donnie is bi!)

I know a lot of people head canon Mikey as ace, but he is a thirteen year old child you don't have to be head canoning him as anything. it is the very rare 13 year old who knows their orientation, and even if they DO I bet you donuts to dollars it will change eventually. This is normal and healthy. Mikey in LSoW has had puppy crushes on boys, girls, teachers, Violet, the mailman, Adam, and Rupert Swaggert. (Eugh eugh eugh.)

Raph is absolutely irresistible to the entire student body and is completely unaware of it. He's not stupid but he's face blind and bad at picking up subtext in conversations. He's gone to multiple people's houses and spent the whole day with them, without realizing they were trying to make it a date. (Raph is bi.)

All the boys have considered identifying as girls since their Dad is the martial arts equivalent of David Bowie and Fine With That, but have settled (for now) on being boys (age 10 the last time they considered this) because quote 'Lou Jitsu and Jupiter Jim are boys and they're awesome' unquote.

They don't get any fucking privacy for their relationships, and Leo in particular had a very bad experience that closed him off from dating big time. (Stamps 'THIS WILL BE A FIC' on this as well.) But also, as of the LSoW canon they are like, 12-14 and not doing a lot of dating ANYWAY. They are BABIES.

(Enter Casey Jones)

ON CROSSOVERS:

I have one crossover with my white whale of authors (you know who you are) I have pecked at with them that I think everyone will go fucking nuts for and love, but I won't mention it in case we can't get it off the ground! (A completely okay and normal thing to happen lmao.) I think that one will end up happening though because I am too excited about it, even if it's not any time soon.

I am super open to crossovers and cowriting, especially since writing with Li because I learned SO MUCH it was like speed running improvement.

The thing is it has to fit! There's some crossovers that wouldn't have a lot of substance because there's not really a lot to cover. When it came to EiL for example, there was PLENTY to cover and do, it was so fun! But other fics might not have a lot we could do for each other. (At least, not until I get some more world building done.)

That being said I do love talking crossovers with other creators it's so fun...

If you guys ever want to use my OC's feel free, just ask me in advance! I don't mind pings.

THESE ASKS ARE FUN THANKS FOR SENDING THEM I feel like you just threw a steak into my zoo exhibit. I am recharged and rejuvenated my crops are watered my skin is clear. This felt very pretentious to write I am mortified.

#ask #chealsieseysie #LSoW #rottmnt #tmnt #tmntau #IM SORRY ABOUT THE INFO DUMP #my fic #my writing

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blitheringmcgonagall · 8 months

Note

The most annoying part of the canon v fanon Sirius debate is that canon Sirius never had a romantic partner but people will insist that he does. I’ve seen bullying over this and that’s when the debate stops being a bit of fun y’know?

I think that we need to let people come up with their own ideas! Bullying is never okay. As I previously mentioned, while we get a reasonable amount of backstory regarding Sirius, he’s most definitely NOT the main character in the series.

Just because we don’t get information about his love life, or lack thereof, doesn’t prove or disprove what his sexual orientation was and whether or not he was interested in dating/sex etc?

JKR clearly says that canon Sirius is not gay for Remus. She more or less invented Remadora to prove this point as apparently lots of HP fans were convinced Wolfstar was canon (but it being the 1990s etc, they thought that she couldn’t say it openly) and she wasn’t happy about it.

I genuinely think all options can be defended:

Asexuality/ace spectrum/Grey-A (canon says he had no interest in girls/boys looking at him and no GF/BF is mentioned in the books)

Gay (for RJL - the whole “embraced like bros, Lie Low At Lupin’s, 40 line stare, buying presents together” etc)

Straight (he’s got posters of muggle women and motorbikes on his wall)

Bi/pan (both of the last two)

Personally I’ve read really excellent ace!Sirius and Blackinnon fics. And as you probably know, I personally think of Wolfstar as canon. @plecotusauritus explains it really well in a humerous post:

Plus, they are the star (brightest star Sirius) and moon (Moony) in canon. And JKR herself confirmed lycanthropy = equivalent of AIDS in 1980s etc (yeah I know, it’s not great and in fact terrible/horrible comparison when you add Greyback etc; but anyway the AIDS link unwittingly despite herself gave Remus a non-straight background, in fact the way she wrote Remus and Sirius had the director assume Wolfstar was canon!)

Having said all that, in canon, while the classmate was ogling Sirius, he was completely oblivious of her interest as he was too busy staring at James Potter. Ahem. Make of that what you will…!

I completely respect you thinking he never had a romantic partner. Who knows? JKR says that he was too busy playing hard/messing with his bros on his flying motorbike and fighting a war to want any serious relationship. She doesn’t confirm did he have one night stands or other types of encounters. And most people at this stage don’t really care what JKR thinks of Sirius.

The whole point of fandom and shipping and fanfics is to imagine/reimagine all the massive gaps in our knowledge of a character. It’s ok not to stick to the canon info, otherwise the fics we read would be extremely limited, short, and all very similar and boring after a while. I personally prefer when a character’s personality isn’t changed completely (ie when they retain the features that make them recognisable from the original story). But I am very happy to alter other aspects of them - like their race, colour, sexuality, religion etc. Also if you are writing a comedic piece, the characters will not be written the same way as when you write a more dramatic/in depth/ Angsty fic or a very fluffy one?

Everyone should feel free to use their imagination and also not worry about people bullying them for their alternative views. We should all be secure enough in our views that we don’t feel the need to bully others who disagree with us. I’m sorry if that’s happened to you or to people you know 💗💗💗💗💗💗

#janey mac #sirius black #the amount of asks I’m getting is bonkers but also love it!#ask away!#bullying will not be tolerated #I ship Wolfstar 🥰🥰🥰🥰#but ship and let ship #kindness is underrated

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shyranno · 1 year

Text

FAQ

Hiya!! Decided to do a lil faq thingy to make things easier since I’m not on Tumblr often and you might have to wait a bit for a response ;u;

Can I use your art for my fanfiction/as wallpaper/as a pfp/etc?

Yes, I’d be so honored if you do! As long as it’s non-commercial, please feel free--credit would be nice too! c; And if you use my art for your fanfics, omg please link them to me I wish to c o n s u m e

I have a drawing suggestion!

Feel free to drop it in my asks! c: If it tickles me, I’ll draw it!

Hey, how come you never answered my ask? :(

I’m sorry! I’m not really on Tumblr all that often--mostly just to post and then ghost sgjhfj so it might have gotten buried. ;u; I’ll try my best to answer questions, but if you left a nice message full of kind words, please just know I appreciate you so so much!!

(Sometimes I get really sweet and nice comments and I don't know how to respond without being repetitive... it's mostly just screaming and crying and babbling thank yous from me dawg...)

When’s the next Downtime comic coming out?

Your guess is as good as mine LMAO

What are your thoughts on [insert fandom related matter here]...

Bold of u to assume i think at all

Serious answer:

- I don’t care who you ship. I genuinely don’t. That’s your business--if I like it, I’ll gleefully slam the like button, if I do not like it I will simply move on bc I am an adult lmao I'm not here to police u (unless its stuff like shipping minors with adults or something like that's my hard limit right there buddy)

- I don’t condone harassment of any kind. Full stop.

- Fandom drama exhausts me and I have 0 desire to partake (and I’m probably not even aware of it in the first place bc I have to work and study at the same, like all of the stuff I make here is just a hobby thing, your girl is busy as hell) I’m here to draw stuff that makes me laugh and then disappear into the night like a gremlin--if you like it, I thank you with tears in my eyes, if you don’t, that’s ok too lol

Where can I find you?

I’m mostly active on Twitter! I have a defunct Instagram full of cats too lmao. My handle is @shyranno

I’ll probably edit this if I get anymore similar questions! <3 Thank you for reading!

#faq

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