#sorry for the lenght

[plasticfangtastic]

American Royalty Ch. 12

A Homelander x F! Reader/Dadlander fic

A/N: This chapter its a lot longer for it is the penultimate chapter, just wanted to thanks all who have read till this point and I hope you look forward to the final chapter after reading this. It was a joy to write this story, if y like to be in the taglist plz let me know. prev chapter:

Tags: fluff, romance, slow burn, dadlander, child neglect, child abuse.

Chapter twelve

Names

You let him have the wedding venue and the honeymoon destination… you didn’t expect for him to drag you to Tasmania but just like you did with the house he did this out of spite, but ignoring the cool heat… it was beautiful. 

It felt personal and small even if there was a whole camera crew and millions of people watching.

Homelander excuse had been that while taking Ryan for a flight he had spotted this national park on the small island, staring into the violet painted lake, the way he recanted how the mist blanketed the lake shore… you knew he wasn’t gonna settle for anything else, and of course it was as far away from William Butcher than he could get.

He had lifted this place out of a fairytale, every corner had elaborate details. No doubt he had some Hollywood set designer build this, he was a romantic to the extreme… corny too, but as you look at the million flower petals scattered around you, you blushed. There was really just you and him, no groomsmen or bridesmaids– the guests were nonexistent either.

Here you two were forcing each other into an unhappy marriage, but no matter what you told yourself… Homelander would be happy in this supposed misery, perhaps it was only you who was unhappy... were you? No matter how fake this all was, he did cry when he saw you, he even stopped caring that William Butcher was there taunting him with his presence– yeah he did turn red when he spotted the smug bastard smiling knowing he was untouchable with all these cameras around… god knows what he was planning, but he stopped caring as he saw you in that dress.

Nevertheless there wasn’t any pretense as he smiled during the reception, the way you felt his heart against your chest as you danced, as you caught that nervous look trying to hide itself not from the cameras nor from his peers but from you.

There you were blushing as you saw him visualizing every step of your routine, trying to keep it together as he tried guiding you.

“Geez just take a fucking breather–  relax.”

“We are live!” He whispered with panic.

“John is not for them… is for us.” You kissed his neck, resting your head against his shoulders to hide your face but also so he could feel your nerves more clearly– I hope you’re having a good time… is fun… I… this is so beautiful… thank you.” You looked up once more– you look good in a suit… you should wear them more often… I like it a lot.” your voice was more breathless than you realized as you stared into his blue eyes.

“Thank you…” He kissed you before forcing another awkward dance move– I just expect to be the last man to ever see you in that dress.”

“Maybe…” Your smile made his ears red– I could be okay with that.”

He was puddy in your hands after that, making the wedding not the worse day of your life, Helena did cursed at having to wear an itchy dress but Ryan was over the moon, and as you rested your feet for a moment, and the cold wind tousled the chiffon on the ornaments, and petals flew away in the breeze.

As you looked at the trees and catched the singing of barking owls hiding in the racketeering of leaves.

For a second you bought into the lie, your daughter would have access to everything the world could offer and beyond, and this boy would get a family, even if the two were struggling to get along, even if the boy still seemed anxious around you, forcing you to walk on eggshells… maybe he would come to love you… maybe you could be happy inside this family. 

“I have to ask… why did you came here?” You lifted the actual french champagne bottle towards the dark haired man.

“Worry I’ll ruin the day for you, luv?” he placed his glass closer.

“I would love it if you did… John is probably trying to find the right commercial break to kill you.”

“You invited me but I am here for Ryan… never thought I’d get to have dinner with him under his nose… after I kill the cunt… I always did worry ‘bout him– I never pictured myself surviving. But now he has a little sister.”

“Well if you kill him, I’ll get custody of Ryan and then you can also make me marry you if you like.” He took the bottle of your hands after tasting the bubbly it had simply been divine, looking at the label and knowing how pricey that was he gave it a long messy gulp– just gotta top this.”

“No thanks.” He took a short sip also admiring the insanely picturesque view of the lake– why did you agree to marry him? Even after–

“I don’t care… Flight 37… working with Neuman, killing Stillwell… the supervillains he helped made– I don’t give a fuck. Why would I care now…? Caring will get me killed, and I got two children who need their mother… Homelander is who he is and I can’t change that, even if he did change, it won’t change what he’s done, so I’ll just move on and take him as he is.”

Butcher almost seemed disappointed but he opted to keep his tongue tied, the thought of Ryan losing another mother over a moral dilemma didn’t sit well with him.

“Want me to get you a to-go box? The cake is divine… I’ll let Ryan know you’re leaving… don't try anything funny…”

“I’ll think I’ll stay until they serve the coffee…”

“We got tea too… 2 sugars?” you say forcing a smile.

“Honey, and a little wedge of lemon.”

“Then I’ll guess I’ll get the kid… hopefully he does kill you.”

He gave you a dirty smirk as you went looking for your adopted son.

Catching the skittering glimpse of Homelander as he kept a watchful eye on you too.

The Honeymoon was beautiful as you headed for the mainland, a bit short but beautiful nevertheless… William didn’t ruin the wedding but he did bother you two during the honeymoon.

A year had passed, here you were sitting in the sitting room while you awaited for Homelander to crawl out of the dressing room. 

Just thinking about how ridiculous it looked to have a closet bigger than your kids bedroom and for him to have nothing to wear made you squirm in your seat, but he was hard to please, without the super suit he just felt small and ugly, even if was still just as handsome as before.

“We can't miss this doctor’s appointment…”

You pushed your tablet aside, as he emerged in a black t-shirt, a wine jacket and black pants, he kept staring at his shoes as if they weren’t the right match, but at this point you had been waiting thirty-six minutes.

“Homelander… I don’t think anybody is going to roast your shoes, so can we go?”

“I just want them to look at me and say that I look conf–

“Chill. You're not the one who's gonna get implanted with some eggs, but feel free to carry them yourself if we keep delaying this. Being late won’t convey any confidence.”

He looked at your clothes, just sweatpants and a nice colorful t-shirt, dissaproving but he bit his tongue instead.

“I’m nervous… what if it doesn’t work again… this is our third time.” He bit his lip trying not to think about the journey here– my fucking sperm its useless…”

“We survived the fire… we are good… we got a couple embryos. It worked now. I gotta hope my oven works once more… you know I'm no spring chicken– i'm in the geriatric category” You stood up reaching after him to comfort him, he just slumped into your shoulders– we had Helena and you made Ryan, you can do it again…”

In all honesty the process had been difficult for him, he had completely misunderstood what was wrong with his body, when the topic was brought up five months into this marriage it had come off as a shareholder asking for investment returns, he had given you everything you asked but here he was asking for his return so why were you surprised? You were mildly disturbed about how much he’d prepared behind your back, it almost came off as if he had already been preparing with somebody else but you pushed that strange gut-feeling aside, the calendar certainly playing a part but you rather not think more of it– your part had been easy, you made eggs, your body was sufficiently healthy and you weren’t that old that it would prove more than challenging to get it to work, but he had been the issue.

At the mention of getting a sperm donor he had almost killed the doctor for the suggestion, he shot down any mentions of adoption, he didn’t want to consider it, he didn’t believe in it, if they weren’t his blood he didn’t want them– he had already won the odds lottery with his two kids so why push it? It only made sense to him but you didn’t voice your concerns.

He was back to being that young man who thought he would be alone forever, he was enamored with the notion of having another child, looking at parents and their kids thinking how perfect it all was when they had beyond plenty, staring at the baby clothes at target when you dragged him shopping, looking at all the spare rooms in this home and wanting to fill them… a son or a daughter it no longer mattered, he had his preferences but if tomorrow they told him he would have another girl he would be happy, he would still cry and he would go and paint the walls pink himself.

But seeing himself in the mirror he was disgusted by all the naked eye couldn’t see.

“is going to be alright, John.” You kissed his temple.

Maybe it was seeing him like this that mellowed you, or perhaps it was that nothing was set in stone, those eggs might not survive, you might have to give up and the thought of your womb being a rental would fade from both of your minds.

But it didn’t.

He cried a lot when it didn't.

If he had been a groomzilla during the wedding he had become a neurotic mess once the bump settled.

He had made it clear he wanted that baby from the get go– admittedly he put up with some of your worst behavior solely because he wanted this, asking you to schedule sex on your terms, you two even discussed this in a room full of lawyers the sex acts you were okay with– threesomes off the table but risky public sex was in the maybe’s.

 Then after that you had to settle on starting fertility treatments as part of the conditions of your marriage, admittedly the agreed divorce settlements left you in a comfortable spot and Helena was always going to be cared for but it came with prerequisites… of proof that you indeed had tried instead of pretending– he had accommodated you beyond expectations… so here you were staring at the slight bump forming under your navel.

The maids duties had doubled, he didn’t want you putting a single extra ounce of work, an elevator being installed was discussed but would’ve taken far too long on remodelations to be realistic, a brief argument took place where he suggested they all moved back to the Vought penthouse as it was less stairs but it was shut down by the majority party. 

Even taking out your stand mixer had him on edge, poor Ryan had to rush to help you if he was nearby just so his dad wouldn’t give you that look– where he scanned your body to make sure the bean was still fine.

As it grew bigger and your body began to waddle and wobble more concerns arrived.

Even showering had him on edge on the off-chance you would trip and fall on your stomach, so he insisted on joining you or at least demanded you showered only if he was in the house, depending on your hormones, your preference was either, altho you knew the kids bodyguard was always informed by the staff if you showered or took bath just to be alert.

“Ricardo? Cassandra? Terry? Damian? Kathy?” You looked at him then back at the TV screen, your feet might as well have been covered in shredded glass so you tried to rest but here he was pestering you– There has to be a name you like… like how did you name Helena?”

You looked at him again, lowering the volume on the screen.

“I think Maeve said the name once… thought it sounded pretty.”

Homelander stopped his pacing as his brows touched and your expression grew confused, he took a deep breath.

“I was in the hospital in a lot of pain… I thought of other names… but maybe the nurse had a similar name, why?”

“You named my kid after Maeve’s piece of shit girlfriend!” he barked.

“… wait really?” You said perplexed.

“Her name is Elena!” He was frumpy.

“Maybe the nurse's name was Yelena or Helen.” You rather not dwell too much in that memory– I like Cassandra altho that’s the Deep’s ex-wife no?”

“Argh…” He cursed under his breath– what about Freyda… Vivienne… Loukas… the name has to be perfect… the names Helena and Ryan freaking jumped in popularity after people learned those were my kids names– it will create trends!” He sank on the arm chair throwing the book to the side– it has to be perfect… their name needs to be like poetry… I want to fall in love with them everytime I say their name… and I think it's a girl.”

Homelander paused, catching sight of you.

“You couldn’t bring a cake to tell me that?” You cursed under your breath holding on to your stomach, you took some deep breath feeling your blood pressure spike–... Genevieve… I almost named Helena that… there was this nice lady back at the half-way house… she was lovely and she helped me out a lot… she was getting out of an abusive marriage– her name was Odelia, she helped me get my first job and sort of my food stamps and such” You bit your cheeks trying to suppress the bitter taste in your tongue– either way she went back to her husband and I never saw her again, even if I called it send me nowhere… her middle name was Genevieve.” 

He smiled.

“If it's a boy I like the name Jason.”

He would continue looking for names helplessly, tempted to post an online poll to help determine but even Ashley said that might backfire.

Each added centimeters to your waist made his nervousness worsen, during those awful months trying to conceive he had tried all the hokum– between the drugs and the smoothies, he had become obsessed with himself but now it was your food bothering him, bringing dieticians and nutritionist to plan menus to boost your health, suddenly your years of expertise were nulled– your diet wasn’t a problem he just didn’t want to believe you. 

Your pantry was filled with wholefood crap and every matter of organic good and insipid health scams, all the meats and veggies now source directly from vetted farmers or killed by himself, somehow a single youtube video taught him how to perfectly cut and portion salmon that he’d caught twenty minutes before… on top of making sure to keep track of your health with his powers, so Homelander made sure everything that entered your mouth passed his standards.

Like a dog caught eating something forbidden, his fingers tempted to pry those fried oreos out of your mouth, but here you were getting fried oreos and beignets and guzzling ice tea as he stood outside the candy store, both kids behind you trying to wipe the powdered sugar off their shirts as their father eyes grew wider.

“I need sugar, John… is called a craving.”

You crossed your arms as you swallowed that beignet whole, you knew it was coming as you reached the end of your first second trimesters– you were hit with monstrous cravings, you devoured M&M’s and so many slices of dollar pizza, you put a dent on your suffering bank account back when you were pregnant with Helena, but now you didn’t need to drink water to calm yourself. 

You could buy the food you denied yourself before and here he was about to scold you for it.

“That’s poison.” He stared at his kids. He entered the cramm and small eatery as the elderly owner stared at him in awe– and you two… I expected better from the both of you.” He said firmly.

“She was cranky” Helena says as she sucks her fingers– moms need to meet their cravings.”

Ryan nodded in agreement as he slurped on his egg cream.

“Think of your cholesterol.”

“Says the guy who hasn’t eaten anything for two days… maybe that’s why you’re cranky.” You barked back already picking your bag off the ground as you headed out– oreos are vegan anyhoo so it’s healthy.”

“You know that’s not true!” He follows you behind as he pushes his kids out the place.

Rolling your eyes as he continues his incessant baragery as you stuffed each sweet into your puffed cheeks.

At night it kept you awake, the memories of endless cravings, of pawning and selling your beloved knives and cooking equipment just to make enough dough to stay in a crappy motel, to get some coins to eat, each meal had to be carefully considered, you had no steady income, you couldn’t eat much of anything but water at times as you picked between buying nappies for newborns and clothes for the baby over another real meal, you at least had the multivitamins… telling yourself this was gonna kept her strong.

Your stomach growling as you look at your diminishing wallet, your stomach growling as you slept in couches and not wanting to burden anyone, not wanting to annoy them as you ate something off their side of the fridge, even your mother gave you grief when you ate a whole tub of yogurt in a sudden urge.

But here as you woke up from a nightmare you looked around and saw that this was your beautiful house and this was your beautiful husband hovering above you panicked as he hadn’t build-up the courage to wake you up.

“I thought you might punch me and break your hand if I woke you up.”

You latched onto him, wanting him to comfort you, he didn’t question a thing as you asked him to bring you yogurt from the kitchen, holding you as you ate with a quiet sob.

He wanted a fat baby, a healthy baby and a super one too, as you ate he could see its tiny stomach fill but behind his worries there had been bigger concerns– he had read the files on Becca’s pregnancy, about how the fetus demonstrated abilities while inside the womb, pictures of her glowing stomach, Becca had been made to stay in a facility during the last trimester just out of fear the fetus would kill her or injure his containment.

Your files weren’t so alarming, you experience horrible pains, most of your medical debt had been from having to be in and out of a hospital for so long, but Helena didn’t shoot lasers nor did she fly, her strength slightly over average and her skin just resistant enough that super strength was needed to administer stitches, but this baby wasn’t any different from the average.

The what-if his child was a mud person repulsed him, but nothing he couldn’t fix.

“You can program it already?”

Helena looked up from the desk, before her all manner of high tech equipment and a computer she had been typing mindlessly for an hour before her father had showed up.

“In theory… I’m still struggling with the human issue. If anything I’ve been more successful with already doped up supes– Elmo’s case for example… The Russian government had been testing Soldier Boy, managing to develop their own Compound V… Serum MGH…” She pulled out some classified documents on her screen– … Their version is a lot more interesting and unstable but they wanted to make: You. their version already managed to “program” flight and strength but highly volatile and dangerous even the animal subject didn’t last long… all I did was stabilize it.” She pushed her overgrown bangs aside just to let her father peek at her unamused expression– this is about the fetus, no?”

“Your sister.” He seemed concerned at her tone.

“Looking at your files and Ryan’s I guess the odds are in your favor… altho…” She took a couple minutes to find the files– about twelve years ago one of your girls aborted a fetus at 14 weeks and according to this autopsy the fetus did not contain any significant compound V traces– god knows what that means.” a couple pages down– and the other died from ‘spontaneous human combustion’ so maybe don’t worry if the fetus its human at the moment”

Homelander had a hard time swallowing the cold delivery of his child, moseying the documents with disinterest, he took a seat as his body grew heavy.

“You can fill this form and request the same purity percentage of the Compound V used on your trials, but you know how random it’ll be.”

“How long have you known about those?” His mouth so dry, it's painful, his tongue swelling as his hands grew cold and painful..

“A while. They really wanted you to fly” She stays still instead of facing him– Why did you never kill Dr. Vogelbaum? or Dr. Park?”

“I dunno…” He had never given himself an answer, nor did he understand why his heart ached after the man died before him.

Helena squints lightly as she types a couple notes, the sound of the keyboard swallowing him whole.

“Sentimental attachments or misplaced love… interesting.”

Homelander didn’t see Helena sitting in the room with him, there was something different about her, as he saw her type on the computer and that disinterested expression that he saw his doctors once again, watching him like a sample.

“If you weren’t my daughter…” He hissed.

“You already made my replacement and this one would be a lot cuter don’t you think?” her fingers stopped gliding for a second– regardless what exactly are you looking for in terms of powers? Got plenty of genetic material to work with from all the failures from here, Sage Grove and Godolkin… I like the challenge and I’m sure you would be nice enough to get me some raw materials if needed.``

She opened a notes screen, ready to be entertained.

Homelander shoulder got closer, staring at her, her voice venomous but she was still dainty… the ire of a jealous child, she had gained a brother whom her mother loved and now another baby in under two years (not even) she has been trusted to cope– she was still a kid. His hand found her head, her eyes blinked blue ready to protect herself, thinking of how easy it would be to have her skull crushed against this desk, of the shape of the dent he would leave.

“I love you Helena… just as much as I love Ryan and I love your sister.” He said softly pulling her chair towards him, her hand glued to the desk as it squeaked– she’s not you. she’ll never be you, she won’t be my perfect little peonie. That’s you, my love.”

“Am not jealous, I feel pity for the both of you. Ryan might be an imbecile but I can tell my mother doesn’t love you and neither do you.” she groaned, pushing his hand away– you’re both babytrapping each other… poor unborn sod nothing but an addendum for your custody battle.”

“You really believe that?” He recoiled from her.

“Really?” her voice was firm– do you love Y/N or you love what she could do for you?”

“I love her in my own way… am not stupid. I know she wanted me for money and I don’t doubt her affections towards your brother are motivated for money! Even yourself Helena! All you want is this!” He gestures to the room– You think am an idiot! Do you think so lowly of me?” His voice had a different tone, she began to wonder if she could hold him back but for how long?-- so save me the crap!”

“Is you who thinks so lowly of me.” her tiny fist squeezed the hem of her skirt– you bastard!”

The chair slid and crashed against the thick wall, she sank into her chair covering her head as his open palm raised.

His hand froze in the air held by an invisible force against his own, he blinked awake, watching his reflection in a glass beaker, small tears budding on the corner of her eyes as her breathing struggled to keep steady.

“I-I-I didn…” 

Homelander lips clattered, his whole body shivering as he caught the gravity of his display, he dropped on his knees taking her into his arms forcefully, the girl squirmed but stayed quiet, he held her drowning in her delicate scent, wanting to barf as the cocktail of her fear poured out of her skin.

“I am sorry… I am sorry” He repeated over and over under his breath as the girl just said nothing

Helena's eyes closed.

“All I done has been for you… I will bear anything your mother gives me, all her scorn and hatred if it means I can have you… have you and your brother and now your little sister… your mother will have anything she ever wants and all I want from her… is you.” He whispered with a shrill voice– she has the mansion, and the maids and not a single worry left… all you’ve ever wanted to give her. I’ve given them on your behalf… so you can be freed of worries… a father's job is to provide for his family. Is not his daughter’s job.”

His vice tightened just enough to mask his shivering self.

“Dad is sorry. I’m truly sorry I didn’t mean to scare you.”

He kissed the sides of her temples, afraid of letting her go.

Helena had seen the reports, she avoided the images as much as she could but the descriptions had been more than plentiful, she seen the violent things done to him and done by him, she wasn’t oblivious to him.

She should’ve been more careful, she thought.

“You could have kill me.” she said with annoyance.

“You’re not scared?” he looks at her face, seeing the red in her eyes but also the stiffness in her expression– we good?”

“We are good, dad.”

She could see there was a conversation taking part in his head as he kept looking past her.

Thinking of an odd hand-written note buried in the pyre, she looked at her screen and how everything looked so big in this room, she hit her forehead back on his shoulders, his face softening as he took her gesture, holding her, wanting to go back in time to stop himself for he had threatened to tear apart all he had worked for and endured. Helena knew that this was the only way to keep the world around her.

“I need to go back to work… regarding the fetus… I only got ...what an hour or two before home time…?”

“We can put that aside.”

Helena stood watching the street from the terrace, all the houses just as tall and the massive hotel building next to their house a motivating factor for the purchase, the trees lining their streets and the few lights coming from the hotel next door and next door neighbors, it was as loud as it was silent.

“Is it loud to you?” She looked up as her father parked next to her, trying to ignore the sounds from the hotel– you think at this price tag…”

“It's close to Madison Avenue, perfect to spend my paycheck, no?”

She turned to see he had a giant stuffed axolotl in his hands, completely disregarding his passive aggressive comment.

“You went to build-a-bear?” she raised her eyebrow.

“I had to do the whole heart ceremony. I bet it's all over TikTok now” His whole face was tight and red as he handed the stuffed animal to his daughter– had to rub that stupid little heart on my knees, and that's a hard angle to reach on this suit!”

She giggled.

“You could have just bought the display one– they sell them to you, y’know.”

“What?” He walked towards the rail trying not to cry as the memory of being made to make a wish to the green haired store attendant as she spoke with the same tone she used on small children on him– what’s next it's optional?”

“Yeah.” she hugged the thing dragging the tail as she sat on one of their chairs– am sure they’ll think it's cute.”

“Who's ‘they’?”

“The worthless masses.” burying her face in the soft fabric– I love it.”

He blushed.

“What happened today… it’ll never happen again… I swear.” he swallows listening to your steps below as you worked on the cupcakes for your upcoming baby shower. He had wanted a big gender reveal party but you had forced him into just a quiet event with only a handful of friends old and new– I do love your mother– just so we are clear”

“Is okay I forgot for a second you aren’t human… the only thing that could touch me before has been fur not people… so let’s just not dwell in the past…”

“I didn’t mean it… what I said about you and Y/N and money… sometimes I just think the worst of people'' he looked vulnerable and painfully human as he spoke– what your mother and I have it's more complicated than most people could understand– even you!”

“Just don’t divorce… I’ll leave with mom… she would need me…” She mumbled looking away from him.

“I’ll never leave her.” A wicked glint coloured his eyes as a half smile amused him– She can’t leave me either. Not with Genevieve now in the picture… I mean I would go broke if I did…”

“How bad was your prenup?”

“The things I gave up just for getting christmas with you and Ryan… horrific… a bloodbath.”

“Maybe you should go win mom over.”

He took that as a small victory, Helena let herself be taken back inside, Ryan wondering where she got the toy, making a quick promise to take the kid to a toy store.

A maid took the tray into the fridge as you welcomed your husband home.

“Hey, a new episode of that Kdrama we've been watching came out today. Just getting some snacks ready for tomorrow then I’ll go join you guys to watch it.” You said cleaning your hands on your sides– you went to build-a-bear?”

“Long story. Our little genius did a great job in the lab and deserved a present. Right baby?”

“I should have asked for a raise shouldn’t I?” 

“Maybe discuss that with ‘bossman’ overthere.” 

They both gave you strange looks sharing a quiet conversation away from you.

That night he was unusually touchy, wanting to keep his hand against your stomach and his head close to your bosom, the kids cursing at the stupid behavior of the love birds on the screen as they continued to miss the signs, your hand unknowingly finds itself stroking his ear and chin, as he caressed your stomach.

“She sleeps a lot you know. that's good.”

“Thanks for officially killing the surprise there, honey.” You knock your head back– you better keep it quiet until the cake is cut!”

“Oh! Am having another sister!” Ryan sounded both happy and sad– you think she’ll like baseball?” 

“Anything else you want to spoil?” Helena mentioned as she flicked popcorn in his direction.

“She’s very blonde.” 

He did get to sleep in the bedroom that night, you simply couldn't fault him for being overly excited… this was now just how he was for some reason.

“Put the beds together… you can hear her better that way no?”

He does without protest.

A pillow wedged under your stomach and your head, frankly you only needed his arm to help bolster your neck, knowing that as you kicked in your sleep, he would keep the pillows in their strategic spots to ensure your comfort, for he slept very little.

“I like the name Genevieve… it's elegant… it's perfect.”

He stifled a yawn as you twisted your neck to look at him.

“Sorry is not a son.”

He stroked your stomach, feeling every minute movement your child did inside, telling himself that she was reciprocating.

“I don’t care she’s everything to me…” he kissed you lightly– I just want to meet her already even if she looks like a blonde alien.”

“You’re not even a real blond” you rub your body against his as you try to get comfortable– don’t call her an alien, you meanie.”

“Thank you for our little area 51 escapee.”

“Don’t listen to him, honey. Your father is just mad, he isn't a natural blonde.”

taglist-- @immyowndefender @fromforeigntofamiliarity @demodemo909 @ghqstfqce

#homelander #the boys amazon #homelander x reader #homelander x you #my fic tag #american royalty #homelander fanfic #dadlander #will say i did not enjoy writing that scene with HL and Helena in the least. #sorry for the lenght

[chiptrillino]

ID: Katara and sokka in swimgear. in the first image, sokka is searching for something in the water. his hair getting wet. katara leans over to him saying "don't you think, its time for a haircut?" in the second image sokka rose form the water, a dog-shark creature in hand, swinging his hair in Katara face splashing her. smugly he says "no <3". End ID

i know its winter! i know it likley snowed by now on the northern hemilsphere! but... on the southern side is summer time right??? so... its fine.... this is fine!!!

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!!! please do not use or repost this artwork without permission!!!

#chip!art #atla #sokka #katara #water tribe #teeny tiny aang #loong hair!sokka #katara i am sorry i promis i will draw you a nice image soon! #also may or may not inspired by my brother. #but my brother is like 13 years older then me. and i was like... tiny compared to him when he did that #and i think i also got smacked by a swiming bord in the face #so whats better? swiming board or wet hair? i will never know... #i think... i overdid the lenght a bit this time though hahaha #or maybe its the same lenght... i kinda think sokka has kya's hair while katara hakodas #so stright hair is the onlything straight on sokka....

[potatobugz]

happy dreams

#undertale yellow #uty #potatart #uty dalv #dalv #undertale yellow dalv #note: i havent played the no mercy route bc i would nevee be able to do this. i am a WEENIE #ive just been watching someone else play it #anyways dalvs deaths in the different routes of the game are so sad #the “i wouldve been a good friend.. i would have” when you kill him instead of sparing him when his names yellow #(shatters into a million billion pieces) #ALSO AXIS BATTLE #!!!!!!!!!!+-$(+$!$($+_;_(HUOH #OH BTW. SHOULDER LENGHT HAIR DALV FOR THE WIN!!!! #“dalv is my favorite character” i say drawing him dying #SORRY :( #i like things that are sad #dalv death axis death ceroba death and el bailador death r all getting to me. el bailador :( #those ones in particular #dies one billion million times #i have more dalv art dont worry do not fear. ove drawn him so many times today

[mari-lair]

Mitsuba is a mess, and his relationship with Kou just high light it.

(Head up: I’ll call the human ‘Sousuke’ and the supernatural ‘Mitsuba’)

Mitsuba wants friends, and he seems to have focused on Kou to get that, which in hindsight, is a very strange decision. Kou was not his smoothest interaction in Hell of Mirrors, he wasn’t even Mitsuba’s first interaction outside Tsukasa: Nene was.

Nene  had no expectations of how he ‘should be’ based on Sousuke, and she had a lot of time to bond with him.

They bantered and tried to help each other from danger even when scared, and Mitsuba did feel a connection: He ran to her rescue before even Hanako and Kou when the ceiling fell, and he treated her as the priority, only saying his farewells and looking at her fondly when he kicked everyone off his boundary.

It seems like they are already friends, or at least, on friendly terms, so why does Mitsuba focus on Kou after Hell of Mirrors? What changed?

He got obsessed with the idea of identity.

Wanting an identity has been a big part of his character since his introduction.

Mitsuba’s existence is depressing: He thought he was a ghost, a human that died, and forgot his life.  He tried to remember who he was but he couldn’t, so he felt isolated, and empty, and this feeling got worst when Hell of Mirrors didn’t show him anything. No reflection, no fear, nothing.

He displayed some fraction of a desire here: “Who am I?” "I want memories.”

It’s a wish that stuck with him before even the basic ‘wish’ to get out, which was what lead Nene to him and kick started the arc in the first place.

Mitsuba said “who cares” when Nene talks about seeing him before (seeing Sousuke) but he does care. A lot. It is not a passing wish, it genuinely bothers him.

Unfortunately, this wish to ‘remember’ is crushed before it can even became a proper goal.

He is told he is an artificial ghost, he never had a life or a heart for No.3′s mirrors to read: He’s an empty monster, created for the hell of it.

Mitsuba is not an idiot, he can see Kou is using him to pretend Sousuke is still around and Tsukasa is using him for his entertainment.

The lack of love sticks to him, it hurts, but what seems to have affected him the most is his lack of previous life. The idea that he was never human and have no life to remember.

That he doesn’t have anything.

And he can’t accept that.

Unlike Sousuke, Mitsuba's main goal isn’t to make friends: It’s to have an identity, to be somebody.

When he masters his school mystery powers he doesn’t seem to spare Nene, Tsukasa, or even Kou, much thought, but he gets obsessed with Sousuke: He watches his life from the moment he steps into the school, to his graduation, and his destruction.

The mirrors finally show him something, and even if there is this disconnect between himself and Sousuke, it’s still something.

We are told his wish is “to be human”, and that is a big part of it, he wants to have a life, to be visible and tangible, but he wouldn’t have tried to be Sousuke if his goal was simply to have a human body and experience being alive.

Mitsuba is contradictory: He wants to have his own identity, be worthy as himself, but he doesn’t like himself, he feels like an empty frankenstain monster built on the shadows of Sousuke, and being a human with no memories, no connection, no goals outside ‘living as a human’, is still empty. Barely an existence.

So he tries to be Sousuke, he gets lots of friends that call him Sousuke, which is a first name he doesn’t have, and tries to have the relationship he had with Kou. He steals Sousuke’s backstory and Sousuke’s dream, and tweak it to convince himself he is living his own dream.

He keeps following the previous No.3 rumor, even if by accident or force: First by stealing No.3′s seat number “to not disappear”, and after by stealing Sousuke’s dream “to have something"

But there is still a distance between him and Sousuke that shows replacing him was never his intention: Mitsuba doesn’t guard the photography book Kou gave him in Hell of Mirrors, he doesn’t try using a camera at all in picture perfect, he doesn’t like being mistaken for Sousuke.

He just likes to feel like somebody that can realistically be loved.

Even if deep down he is convinced it’s not true.

He only snaps out of his Sousuke obsession and goes back to pay attention to Kou as an individual, not as a major link to an identity he feels empty without, in chapter 48, after he opens up and Kou pays full attention to his wishes as Mitsuba, not Sousuke, for the first time.

He begins to care about Kou on a personal level: He stops watching Sousuke and starts watching Kou.

Considering how much free time Mitsuba have, I assume he watched more of Kou’s life through the window: The way he saved Hanako in the Young Exorcist arc, his big talk when he learned about Nene’s life spam, and so on. But even if he didn’t, since I have no proof he did, Mitsuba still witnessed how he did not fight back while in danger with Sousuke, and everything in picture perfect.

He knows Kou has a martyr complex.

Kou wants ‘perfect’ solutions and feels very distressed when he can’t have them. He’ll put himself in danger to give ‘anyone’ a happy ending, this, paired with Mitsuba’s view of himself, makes this conclusion perfectly reasonable:

So even though he doesn’t feel comfortable calling Kou a friend, Kou still makes him feel like he matters. Like he is worth grieving.

He likes when Kou listens to him and notices things about him, because it makes him feel like his existence is loved, which Mitsuba has convinced himself it does not, and never will.

An act as simple as remembering he has a fondness for penguins made him melt.

And while I am sure he would be happy if anyone did something so nice to him, he is extremely affected by Kou in specific. He values what Kou does much more than anyone else, his actions stick with Mitsuba to the point of madness since their first meeting.

In Hell of Mirrors, Kou should have been perceived as a lunatic: He is a stranger that’s way too touchy and speak nonsense about personal things Mitsuba wasn’t a part of, but even though he doesn’t even know Kou’s name, he is speechless by Kou. 

The memory that stuck with Mitsuba in Hell of Mirrors wasn’t this weird stranger grabbing his face and demanding he remember something that he never experienced, it was Kou’s watery smile, the clear love, and relief he felt when seeing what he had believed to be Sousuke.

I’m sure Mitsuba had no idea how to react to having someone cry of joy to see him, but the way Mitsuba's survival instinct stopped working when Teru tries to kill him is unbelievable: Mitsuba is so focused on how Teru remind him of Kou, on how seeing someone that looks like Kou with such cold and cruel eyes doesn’t compute, that this ‘wrongness’ take all his attention, leaving him uncapable of processing the deadly sword on his face. 

He sees Nene, Sakura, and Natsuhiko, distressed on many occasions, and while he does get sad for Nene and can empathize with them all, when Kou is the one troubled he pays full attention, he goes out of his way to help and freak out when Kou gets too sad. He goes as far as to put a pause on his wish to die to make Kou stop.

His joy also affects him more than anyone. When Kou is happy Mitsuba is always star struck.

He forgot every Nene smile but played Kou’s watery smile on repeat after Hell of Mirrors. He constantly frames Kou as if he is bright like stars or larger than life.

Even when he completely disagrees with what Kou says, Mitsuba still pays full attention. Is like he can’t look away when Kou is paying attention to him.

Because of it, instead of being dismissive or unimpressed, he gets very shaken and frustrated when Kou promises things he doesn’t believe in.

Kou have a lot of power over Mitsuba, which Mitsuba doesn’t nescesarily appreciates.

He wants to get closer but he also want a break from Kou.

Mitsuba isn’t very good at handling strong emotions, but he also has the bad habit of dismissing casual feelings or forgetting them.

He may be a very sweet supernatural, more emotional and empathetic than most, but in the end, he is still a supernatural: He does not get attached to people easily, and have an odd sense of priority.

He doesn’t have a high standard of how ‘caring or nice or alive’ someone need to be for them to be worthy of being his friend, he just want someone, anyone, to hold on to.

And yet he unconciously doesn’t allow himself that.

We can’t justify his sudden lack of interest in Nene, who was the closest thing to a certified ‘friend’ he got in Hell of Mirrors as him putting a mental block on her after learning of her lifespan: He just has no desire to be closer to her, be it because she wasn’t awake when he was told he is a frankenstain and therefore doesn’t see Mitsuba as the monster he sees himself, so he feels a disconnect, or because of something else, but regardless, he has convinced himself that she isn’t someone that he can care about, or isn’t someone that will care about him.

The same goes for the broadcasting club.

It is understandable why he doesn’t consider Tsukasa a friend, since despite how useful and competent Tsukasa is (he kidnaped no.4 as a present for Mitsuba, keeps him alive, gives him no.3 power and so on), he is hurtful and scary. But Natsuhiko and Sakura have shown to worry about him and go out of their way to make him happy.

They welcomed him with open arms, and they may not be perfect, but they do try to listen to him, they do care.

Natsuhiko was genuinely distressed when Mitsuba was in danger. He may be very goofy, but he tries to help enough that even Mitsuba acknowladge.

But Mitsuba does not consider Natsuhiko a friend, an annoying sibling, or anything.

No matter how desperate he should be to connect with others so he doesn’t feel empty he just... don’t.

He can’t put a label to the people he surrounds himself by, not on his own. He doesn’t cling to any bond he might have created, so he still feels alone, and with no reason to stay in the near shore.

He gave up on his current connections.

He gave up on being human and making new connections.

He would have gived up on the idea of friends as well, if it wasn’t for Kou.

Kou have a lot of power over him, and Mitsuba want to be Kou’s friend very badly but he was basically told point blank Kou doesn’t feel comfortable calling him in specific a friend.

He does get his hopes up after Kou jumps off the roof for him in picture perfect, but throughout all of the manga, Kou never called him a friend, he only ever called Sousuke a friend.

So once Mitsuba’s body started be unable to hold itself together, and he had to eat supernaturals to stay around, any kind of hope grew too troubling, not worth the pain and self hate of merely existing, so Mitsuba gave up on being his friend. He decided he just doesn’t care anymore. About anything

Or so he told himself.

The moment he sees Kou all happy to see him and worried about his health, he can’t look him in the eye. He either doesn’t have the courage to hurt his feelings (cause he knows Kou's sadness makes him super uncomfortable), or his determination to die wavers.

He hold on to him, and instead of giving up on this connection too, his ‘last wish’ is to spend time with Kou.

He still clearly want to be Kou’s friend, or more than friends, he just didn’t want to think about it.

The penguin destruction wouldn’t have distressed him so much otherwise. The idea of going to a festival with Kou wouldn’t be useful if Mitsuba didn’t get excited and looked forward to hanging out with Kou.

#if you feel like i rushed at the end is cause i did i am sorry #but i swear i tried my best to put the boy under a microscope properly #i just don't have the brainrot nescesary to go insane at lenght on a main character #tumblr i love you pls show it in the tags #character analysis

[aspoonofsugar]

Weiss and Jaune = Knight + Queen

Mirror Help me Who am I?

Weiss and Jaune are strong foils (mirrors), who can be analyzed through a specific motif.

They are both Knights (masculine):

And Queens (feminine):

This is made clear also through their respective allusions:

1 -Weiss alludes to Snowhite and plays all the different characters of the story with a specific focus on the Princess and the Prince, which is highlighted since the White Trailer:

Weiss and her inner Prince (Animus), who is corrupted and possessed by her Father

Here, Weiss fights a giant armor, which symbolizes the power her father (the patriarchy) has above her. She is fighting both for her freedom and to get back a possessed part of herself (the Arma Gigas is literally a haunted armor). If she wants to escape Jacques, she has to be her own Prince. In other words, to be crowned queen, she needs to become a knight first.

2 -Jaune alludes to Jeanne d'Arc who was both a maid and a knight. Jaune's story is about him growing into both. He needs to accept his inner maiden to become a proper knight. This is made clear in the Jaunedice's arc (this mini arc really works as Jaune's trailer). There he grows not when he gives in to toxic masculinity, but when he stands up to it:

Jaune performing his first miracle and later on being guided by his Goddess (Anima), who is none other than Pyrrha

Jaune makes progress when he nurtures his most feminine side and shows vulnerability by apologizing and asking for Pyrrha's help. A real man has no fear to show he is also feminine.

In short, both Weiss and Jaune's stories deal with the integration of their feminine and masculine parts, so that they can be full-fledged individuals.

ANIMUS AND ANIMA

Integrating the feminine with the masculine is a psychological process, which is described by Carl Jung with the archetypes of animus and anima:

The animus is the masculine part of a woman

The anima is the feminine part of a man

Each person has naturally both, but society promotes specific gender values and drives people to repress traits culturally associated with the opposite gender. So, to fully be complete a person should integrate the negated parts.

This is the case for both Weiss and Jaune, who are initially trapped in fixed gender roles:

Weiss is the rich spoilt princess. She is forced to adhere to the social role Jacques has chosen for her. She is the Schnee Heiress, which means she should always be classy, perfect and elegant:

Weiss: I'm. Not. Perfect! Not yet...

Jaune is instead the loser boy, who wants to be a knight. He doesn't really fit his gender nor social role. He is a male, but is weak, geeky and odd. He has a legacy of warriors to honor, but can't fight. So, he feels he isn't enough:

Jaune: I don't want help! I don't want to be the damsel in distress! I want to be the hero!

Basically they are both trapped in opposite ways. Weiss fits her legacy and stereotype so well people forget there is more to her. Jaune instead doesn't measure up to his ancestors nor to the classical male type, so everybody assumes he is bound to fail. This happens because Weiss and Jaune are victims in different ways of toxic masculinity:

As a girl, Weiss has to obey her father, to suppress her emotions and to be nothing, but beautiful. Think about how Jacques even weaponizes typical feminine traits Weiss has, like her talent at singing.

As a boy, Jaune has to conform to physical prowess and bravado. He has to be big, ripped and cool or else he is no-one. The idea he is not like the other boys is at the root of Jaune's insecurities.

At the same time, Weiss and Jaune are also incredibly immature and project outside the same gender roles they are trying to escape inside. Moreover, they do so specifically with each other:

Weiss: (mockingly) My hero.

This scene summarizes their whole early dynamic. On the one hand Weiss sees Jaune as the loser he is scared to be. She only sees his superficial bravado and misses who he is behind the mask. On the other hand Jaune is attracted to Weiss because he sees her as the perfect princess to his knight. So, he is drawn to the mask.

Even the reason Jaune initially falls for Weiss ties into this:

Weiss: Yeah! And we can paint our nails and try on clothes and talk about cute boys, like tall, blond, and scraggly over there!

Weiss here is mocking both Jaune and Ruby, two people she has misjudged and shows no respect for. She is being cold, superficial and rude. Still, Jaune falls for it and believes Weiss's words. He does because they describe Jaune as he wants to be perceived. So, he runs after Weiss and ignores Pyrrha.

In short, initially Weiss and Jaune can't see neither themselves nor others clearly. Luckily, this starts to change at Beacon.

ICE QUEEN AND VOMIT BOY

Sun: Ruby, Yang, Blake… Ice Queen.

Ruby: Look, I'm sorry! Vomit Boy was the first thing that came to mind.

Weiss and Jaune are given nicknames the moment they arrive at Beacon. This happens because they are both childish and self-centered, so they are called out by others. Specifically, their nicknames are light-hearted ways to criticize their perceived self-importance and the archetypes they are trying to emulate. Weiss is called an ice queen because she is acting as daddy's little princess. Jaune is instead jockingly named vomit boy because he tries too hard to look cool. They are still far away from who they want to become and their friends pick up on this. Luckily, giving them funny names is not all RWBY and JNPR do for Weiss and Jaune. Rather they help the two kids grow. In particular, Ice Queen and Vomit Boy develop in two different and complementary ways:

In volume 1 they learn to see who they are slightly better

In volume 2 they become able to see others with more clarity

Seeing One-Self

At the beginning of their stories Weiss and Jaune are running away from who they are:

I'm the loneliest of all.

Even when I told my parents I was going to Beacon, they told me not to worry if I ended up having to move back home. How depressing is that?

Both have big families, but feel lonely and misunderstood. So, they hope they can have a fresh start at Beacon, but immediately meet unforeseen circumstances:

By this point Weiss and Jaune are pursuing a superficial dream of heroes and monsters. They figure their most perfected selves beside the "right" patner.

On the one hand Weiss wants Pyrrha to be the "knight" to her "princess":

Weiss: This will be perfect! The smartest girl in class combined with the strongest girl in class! Together we will be unstoppable!

She wants someone strong (body) that complements her intelligence (mind). She thinks that in this way she can't fail.

On the other hand Jaune wants Weiss to be the "princess" to his "knight":

Jaune: Don't worry! No need to be embarrassed! So, been hearing rumors about teams! I was thinking you and me would make a good one! What do you say?

He wants someone who is beautiful and looks frail, so he can protect her. He thinks in this way he can appear strong.

Both are wrong obviously. This is why they end up with respectively Ruby and Pyrrha as partners.

Weiss needs to realize what complements mind is not body, but heart. This is why she is paired with Ruby, who lacks physical strength, but has more than enough heart to guide Weiss. Throughout the initiation, Weiss herself has to act as a Knight by saving Ruby from the Nevermore. And later on, she needs to follow Ruby's plan (so Ruby's mind) to take down the Grimm and pass the trial.

Jaune needs to realize a real knight is not physically strong, but is wise (mind) and brave (heart). This is why he ends up with Pyrrha, who is both and challenges him in two different ways. She doesn't fit feminine stereotypes and sees Jaune's value not in his superficial traits, but rather in his willingness to help. Throughout the initiation, Jaune shows this by staying behind to lead others into kiling the Grimm.

So, Ruby and Pyrrha are the ones, who can help Weiss and Jaune grow the most. However, the 2 kids struggle to accept it and enter into a conflict with their respective partners in The Bagde and The Burden and Jaunedice. These 2 mini-arcs are interesting because they do not really add anything to the main plot. Rather, they are episodes which focus on Weiss and Jaune respectively. Once again our wannabe queen and wannabe knight act as perfect foils to each other.

On the one hand Weiss is powerful enough to kill Grimms on her own, but wants to be the Queen giving orders. On the other hand Jaune has gained the title of leader, but wants to be the competent Knight slaining monsters.

In short, they want what the other has and miss what they already are. Why is that so? Because deep down they dislike themselves and can't see they have the seeds for greatness within. They don't need to look outside, but should nurture the inside.

Luckily, they are helped by 2 mentor figures:

Port: So instead of fretting about what you don't have, savor what you do. Hone your skills, perfect every technique, and be not the best leader, but the best person you can be.

Ruby: Because it's not just about you anymore. You've got a team now, Jaune. We both do! And if we fail, then we'll just be bringing them down with us. We have to put our teammates first, and ourselves second. Your team deserves a great leader, Jaune. And I think that can be you.

Port invites Weiss to grow as a person and Ruby reminds Jaune of his duties as a leader. So, Weiss and Jaune step up for the sake of their partners:

Weiss: Ruby, I think you have what it takes to be a good leader. Just know that I am going to be the best teammate you'll ever have!

Jaune: Don't ever mess with my team - my friends - ever again. Got it?

Weiss encourages Ruby to be a good leader and promises her she will be the best teammate ever. She even aknowledges she has always loved bunked beds and makes a small step in integrating with her inner child. Something necessary if she wants to blossom into an adult.

Jaune fights Cardin for Pyrrha's sake and decides to dedicate himself to his role of leader. At the same time, he accepts Pyrrha's help, so he shows vulnerability. In other words, he starts integrating with his feminine side. Something needed to become more mature.

So, by the end of their first semester at Beacon both Weiss and Jaune have come to understand themselves and their roles a little bit better. Still, they have yet a long way to go when it comes to the way they aknowledge others.

What better chance than a dance to work on it?

Seeing Others

When it comes to the dance, Weiss and Jaune find themselves in the same situation of the initiation ceremony. They are locked into "triangles":

Jaune wants to go to the dance with Weiss, who wants to go with Neptune

Pyrrha wants to go to the dance with Jaune, who wants to go with Weiss

They pursue the wrong partner and ignore another person's feelings. In this way they do to another what they lament it is done to them:

Weiss: All my life, boys have only cared about the perks of my last name.

Jaune: It's Weiss… I'm completely head over heels for her, and she won't even give me a chance. She's cold, but she's also incredible. She's smart, and graceful, and talented-- I mean have you heard her sing? I just wish she take me seriously, y'know?

On the one hand Weiss wants to be seen for who she is, not her name. And yet, she refuses to look earnestly at Jaune and doesn't even recognize his feelings as genuine (recognizing someone's feelings doesn't mean to reciprocate them by the way). On the other hand Jaune wants to be taken seriously, but the moment Pyrrha tries to open up to him, he reduces her feelings to a joke:

Jaune: Oh please, if you don't get a date to the dance, I'll wear a dress.

At the same time, both approach love superficially. Jaune has started to really like Weiss as a person, but he is still far from truly seeing the girl in all her complexity. Weiss is instead failing to recognize Jaune's good qualities and is attracted to Neptune's try hard persona:

Neptune: Haven. And I don't believe I've caught your name, snow angel.

The narrative makes it very clear Neptune is just a shallower, but better looking version of Jaune. He is a geek (like Jaune), but calls himself an intellectual. He flirts with every girl that breathes, waaaay more than Jaune does initially. And yet, he looks cooler, so Weiss is attracted by him.

This "double triangle" is solved positively in 2 different ways:

Weiss and Jaune start to display respectively more masculine and feminine traits

Weiss and Jaune learn to see others a little bit better

Weiss plays the part of the knight and invites Neptune to the dance:

Weiss: I know this is a little unorthodox, but… I wanted to ask you something. Would you… like to accompany me to the dance tomorrow?

Jaune plays the part of the maiden and wears a dress to accept Pyrrha's late invite:

Pyrrha: I had no idea you were a dancer. Jaune: Yeah, well, these things tend to happen when you grow up with seven sisters.

On a deeper level, Jaune confronts both Pyrrha (the ideal self he must aim to be) and Neptune (the past self he has outgrown).

Pyrrha: I've been blessed with incredible talents and opportunities. I'm constantly surrounded by love and praise, but when you're placed on a pedestal like that for so long, you become separated from the people that put you there in the first place. Everyone assumes I'm too good for them. That I'm on a level they simply can't attain. It's become impossible to form any sort of meaningful relationship with people. That's what I like about you. When we met, you didn't even know my name. You treated me just like anyone else. And thanks to you, I've made friendships that will last a lifetime. I guess, you're the kind of guy I wish I was here with. Someone who just saw me for me.

He realizes he has hurt Pyrrha's feelings and has failed to see her the whole time. At the same time, he calls Neptune out on how he has treated Weiss's feelings:

Jaune: Do you even care about the girls you're hitting on? How they feel about you?

And finally, thanks to his ideal self (Pyrrha), he is able to give his past self (Neptune) a good advice:

Jaune: Then just go talk to her. No pickup lines, no suave moves, just be yourself. I've heard that's the way to go.

In this way, Jaune shows he has grown more mature and crowns his evening by wearing a beautiful dress and proving he is a great dancer (differently from Neptune).

Weiss grows too. She accepts Neptune's apology and thanks to him, she is able to finally see Jaune for who he is:

Weiss: You said you were embarrassed at first. What made you come talk to me? Neptune: You're looking at him. You got some good friends looking out for ya.

She might not reciprocate Jaune's feelings, but Jaune is still her friend and cares about her as a person, not as a trophy. This moment marks an improvement of Weiss's overall dynamic with Jaune and she starts to see him as a close one, even praising him occasionally:

Weiss: Well, he's certainly improved.

This is a top off for Weiss's growth as a less judgemental person. This process starts with Blake and her prejudice against Faunus and goes on with Jaune and her misjudgement of him.

All in all, Weiss and Jaune's months at Beacon are key for the kids' early development:

Weiss grows through Ruby and Blake

Jaune grows through Pyrrha and his team

They keep walking parallel paths and slowly start to aknowledge each other more. Weiss starts to see Jaune not as a loser, but as a person who is trying hard. Jaune start to see Weiss not as a damsel, but as a talented individual with wishes of her own. Similarly, their relationship with their inner selves improves, as well.

By the time of the Vytal Festival, both Weiss and Jaune are making small steps toward who they want to become.

The Vytal Festival: Unsure Knight and Clueless Maiden

Weiss and Jaune's tournament fights display their better qualities. On the one hand Weiss sacrifices herself for Yang. On the other hand Jaune is able to lead his team well. They are both more selfless with a better understanding of their roles in their teams.

This growth is marked by important moments outside the arena.

Weiss meets Winter, who inspires her to branch out a little. This is the catalyst for Weiss's transformation into a knight:

Jaune notices Pyrrha is off and tries to step into an adviser position. Basically, he tries to do what Pyrrha has done for him. He tries to guide her by symbolically playing a more supportive role. Moreover, he tries to help Pyrrha making sense of maidenhood:

Jaune: I guess… I'm just trying to say that… you've always been there for me… even when I didn't deserve it. And I can tell there's something on your mind, so… I don't know. How can I help?

Obviously, they are both still immature. Weiss is dependent on her father and can barely summon a tiny sword. Jaune is ignorant and isn't able to give Pyrrha the right advice. Still, they both try, even if they meet an unforeseen crisis. The Fall of Beacon.

Weiss manages to step in to protect Velvet. She acts as a real Knight in Shining Armor:

Jaune does his best to stand beside Pyrrha, even in her darkest moment:

Jaune: She's right. Whoever was on that microphone… they're the ones that did this. And we have to make sure they don't take anyone else.

Despite this, they both fail in the end. Weiss can't save Beacon and loses her new found home and family. Jaune can't save Pyrrha and loses the girl he loves. So, after so much development and growth Weiss and Jaune wake up to discover it still isn't enough. So, the finale pushes them back in the roles they have tried to escape so desperately.

Weiss is brought back under her father's thumb. Jaune is shoved into a locker, forced to fly away like a loser. Weiss is once again daddy's little princess, while Jaune is once again a wannabe knight, who couldn't save the girl.

SNOWHITE AND JEANNE

Ren: Well that embarrassment - that desire to go back and tell yourself not to be so stupid - that just proves you're not the same person you used to be. You're smarter, you're kinder, you're stronger, and you're not done growing yet. None of us are.

The Mistral arc marks a metaphorical growth spurt for both Weiss and Jaune. This development manifests in the volume 5 climax, where their stories intersect:

This scene is a culmination of their respective developments and ties with both their allusions:

Snowhite dies, but is resurrected by the Prince

Jeanne D'Arc performs a mircacle and brings back a person from the death

So, it is clearly very important symbolically, but what does it mean for Weiss and Jaune's characters, specifically?

1- Weiss and Jaune overcome two fake Maidens

Vernal and Cinder are the two fake Maidens of the Mistral arc, as the opening of volume 5 suggests:

Vernal is set up as the Spring Maiden and Cinder is set up as Raven's biggest foe. And yet, neither of them lives up to expectations. On the one hand Vernal is just a red herring, while Cinder isn't Raven's true opponent, but Yang is.

At the same time, Vernal and Cinder are Weiss and Jaune's opponents during the Battle of Haven. Interestingly, they both challenge the kids about their true identities. Who are they really?

Vernal: Let's see what the Schnee name really means.

Cinder: Who are you again?

Vernal mocks Weiss by stating she is nothing outside her name and Cinder sneers at Jaune by telling him he is a nobody. These are Weiss and Jaune's biggest fears. Weiss is scared her only value is her Schnee name, whereas Jaune is terrified of being a loser. In short, both Vernal and Cinder attack Weiss and Jaune's egos and leave them shattered:

Vernal physically breaks Weiss's aura, while Cinder psychologically destroys Jaune by targeting Weiss, just like she did with Pyrrha. Vernal and Cinder's objective is really to reduce Weiss and Jaune to nobodies. And yet, they fail. That is because the self is not found in physical strength or power, but rather comes from inside:

Yang: You might be powerful, but that doesn't make you strong.

In this battle Vernal and Cinder really symbolize Weiss and Jaune's illusory sense of selves. Their ugly personas. This is why they are both fake. Fake maidens masked with strength and confidence. And yet, they are deep down made of lies.

Vernal derides Weiss because of her dependency on the Schnee Family. And yet, Vernal herself has dedicated her whole existence to the Branwen Tribe and even changed her name for Raven's sake. In other words, she has reduced herself to her Spring Maiden persona. She is the one, who is nothing more than a name. And a false one, to boot.

Cinder laughts at Jaune's wannabe hero performance, but a lucky strike by her opponent is enough to derail her. An inexperienced fighter like Jaune grazing her breaks Cinder's whole facade and shows the ugly psychological wounds she hides behind a mask.

This is why Vernal and Cinder defeat Weiss and Jaune, but ultimately fail and actually destroy each other. Vernal dies by Cinder's hand, despite how strong and smart she is. Cinder is unmasked by Raven and falls because of Vernal's final desperate attack, which ensures Cinder's defeat.

Weiss and Jaune instead are reborn thanks to each other. Weiss is physically saved by Jaune, whereas Jaune starts to psychologically heal through helping Weiss. Weiss unlocks a new summon, while Jaune discovers his semblance. In the end, Weiss and Jaune don't need to play by Vernal and Cinder's rules.

Weiss's strength doesn't lie in her individual skill, but in the relationships she has built with others. She doesn't have to survive on her own because she is full of loved ones ready to help her shine. And she can help them too.

Jaune is heroic not because he is a lonely warrior slaying villains, but because he is a good friend always ready to help. His value lies in his wish to protect others. Moreover, he can rely on them when he needs.

Weiss and Jaune's real selves are in their hearts, which are growing stronger. That is why they lose the physical fight, but win the spiritual one. They ultimately succeed, as Weiss's Queen Lancer is key to saving Haven and Jaune's Aura Amp is fundamental in saving Weiss. Weiss protects a Kingdom, while Jaune protects a girl.

2- Weiss and Jaune integrate with their animus/anima

Weiss and Jaune embrace their true selves by reconciling their masculine and feminine parts. Once again this process is conveyed through their allusions.

Our Snowhite dies and is reborn twice. The first time, Jacques (the Evil Queen) kills her psychologically by taking away her Heiress title and imprisoning her in her room (the glass coffin). Weiss is able to escape by developing her masculine side (the Knight).

She successfully draws energy from her animus (her inner Prince) and uses this new found resourcefulness to escape. She leaves behind her passiveness (feminine) and grows more active (masculine). This is why her summon symbolically breaks the window and immediately after Weiss makes the choice to leave.

The second time, Cinder (another Evil Queen) kills her physically, but Jaune (the Prince) saves her. As a result, Weiss wakes up and is crowned Queen.

Becoming Queen in fairy tales means you have reached self-actualization. So, Weiss has become her true self, which is a combination of feminine (queen) and masculine (lancer). The Queen Lancer then symbolizes Weiss reconciling with her anima (feminine part) by making it freer, more genuine and stronger through her animus (masculine part).

Our Jeanne performs a miracle and has a vision. He brings Weiss back from the death in Haven. By doing so he physically plays the part of the Knight in Shining Armor. Still, he succeeds by integrating his animus with his anima. As a matter of fact he lets go of fighting and killing (masculine) and takes up healing (feminine):

Later on, he needs spiritual guidance and finds it in his anima (Pyrrha). So, he has a symbolic "vision" of her in front of her statue:

Obviously, the woman is probably Pyrrha's mother, but it doesn't matter. The whole scene is framed up as aetherial and ambiguous because thematically Pyrrha's soul points Jaune toward the right path. So, Jaune is guided by his feminine side.

Weiss and Jaune's journey in Mistral leads them to face their fears and let go of their personas. By doing so, they succeed at integrating their animus and anima. The end result is that they grow up.

Weiss blooms into a Queen:

Weiss's royal dress is blue (melted ice) and has snowhite-like puff sleeves.

Jaune becomes a Knight:

Jaune's outfit keeps his red details and adds more gold to it.

Upon their arrival in Atlas, they are not Ice Queen and Vomit Boy anymore, but genuine articles.

QUEEN AND KNIGHT

Right now I’m just a bit surprised Cuz I feel just fine And I might just touch the sky

The sun is shining in the sky The birds are smiling so am i I’m kicking ass in every way Think this change is here to stay It’s feeling like a brand new day

In Atlas, our Queen and Knight live their best lives.

Weiss arrests her father and reconnects with her estranged family. She becomes the Queen of the Schnee family. Jaune instead supports everyone, meets the admiration of civilians and is in generally successful. He becomes a perfect Knight in Shining Armor.

Even when the situation gets dire they both maintain a mature attitude. They are not touched by the Divide and their major conflict lies rather with a family member (sibling):

Winter: You're not leaving me. I'm giving you a head start.

Ren: You cheated your way into Beacon!

Winter and Ren oppose Weiss and Jaune out of repression and frustration. And yet, Weiss and Jaune's reaction is of empathy and understandment:

Weiss: Don’t worry, they’re sisters. Sometimes sisters just have very different ideas about what’s right.

Jaune: We’re all under a lot of stress right now. I used to push people away too.

They never doubt their loved ones and when Winter and Ren come around there is no need for apologies. Weiss and Jaune simply welcome them back with warmth.

In short, our Queen and Knight are among the characters who have grown the most, so they often come up with solutions. For example, Jaune offers a way to overcome the Divide from a practical point of view:

Jaune: Okay. Okay… Then let’s go for both. Get Amity up and running and evacuate Mantle.

Weiss is instead the one to state the theme outloud before the climax:

Weiss: Trust is a risk

This development is precisely why they both get to shine in the final battle.

On the one hand Weiss holds it together while her team is in disarray after Yang's fall. Ruby is traumatized and caught up in a fight with Neo, while Blake temporally loses it. Weiss keeps on facing Cinder alone and does her best to protect Penny and the relic.

On the other hand Jaune keeps a level-head and manages to evacuate the civilians only to join the fray at the very end. He reads the situation correctly and kills Penny when there is no other choice.

Weiss and Jaune have grown into who they want to be in the beginning. This is why they are the last fighters standing. And yet, despite all their training and maturation, they still fail. They face an Evil Queen (Cinder) and are defeated when they are at their strongest. Weiss is a true Queen fighting for her home and Jaune is a true Knight fighting for the people. And yet, they are crushed and fall. Just like at Beacon.

Once again, Weiss fails to protect a Kingdom:

Once again, Jaune fails to protect a Maiden:

At the same time, they believe the other can somehow succeed, even if they don't:

Weiss: Maybe… Jaune and Winter were able to get them out, despite… everything… despite us…

Jaune: I don’t know where the others are, but… Weiss will give us time!

Weiss hopes Jaune and Winter (aka her ideal) save the relics. Jaune hopes Weiss can buy him and Penny time, like Pyrrha (aka his ideal).

In short, Weiss and Jaune grow into their ideal selves, but still lose. Not only that, but they keep on projecting their ideals on others. And yet, these others also fail. So, what to do? The only choice is to let go of unreachable perfect paragons.

FALLEN QUEEN AND RUSTED KNIGHT

Weiss: I am a citizen of a fallen Kingdom and an heir to nothing. I will not be defined by my name because I will be the one to define it. I am Weiss Schnee, and I am a Huntress!

NeoCat: You were never the brave knight either! Just more fairytale nonsense!

Weiss and Jaune's journey in the Ever After is about letting go of their Queen and Knight idealized self-images. In this way they can truly accept who they are. This is difficult at first because they are full of self-hate and regret:

Weiss: But it wasn't enough! We hatched a crazy plan that put a whole kingdom at risk, and we don't even know if we saved the Relics...

Jaune: I’m trying so hard to save them… I stopped them from becoming what they needed to be. I was being selfish because I… I wanted the rush of rescuing someone and I got that here.

Still, they both work through it in 2 ways.

They face their traumas again:

Weiss: I am so tired of leaving places in ashes…

Jaune: On that bridge… I was the only one that could do it! I was the ONLY ONE! And I… And now I have to live with that forever… In here or back home…

They change their dynamic with Ruby, who they put on a pedestal.

Specifically, Ruby becomes a paragon for both Weiss and Jaune during the Mistral arc. There, Weiss learns to be emotionally vulnerable with her partner. Jaune instead grows to admire Ruby's optimism and hopeful self.

So, after the fall of Atlas, both Weiss and Jaune go back to Ruby. Weiss lets out all her troubles, while Jaune dives after Crescent Rose and proudly gives it back.

However, Ruby is in no condition to play Weiss and Jaune's hero. This shows and it unnerves them, who grow progressively more irritated with Little Red:

Weiss: Hurry! People are counting on us!

Jaune: I know you may not care about protecting this village, but you could at least help your friends when they’re in danger.

Until Ruby herself snaps at the both of them. Interestingly, it is Weiss's demand that Ruby consoles Jaune, which sets her off. Moreover, throughout her monologue, Ruby calls Weiss out on her dependency on her:

Ruby: What about me? “No time”, right? “Gotta get home!” “Gotta help Jaune!” Gotta find someone who isn’t just going to screw everything up!

And she lashes out against Jaune's hero complex:

Ruby: I’m sorry, is this a bad time? Are we supposed to be mourning Jaune’s make-believe friends?!

She pintpoints both their flaws and then runs away. It is Ruby's outburst, though, which wakes up Weiss and Jaune.

Weiss finally realizes Ruby's pain and empathizes with her. Her words clearly have an impact on Jaune too:

Weiss: Ruby has always been the one to get us through the hard times. We say things like “We believe in you”, “We can count on you”. I know we mean well, but…

They both let go of their idealization of Ruby, which in turns helps them with their own struggles:

Weiss: I think you’re asking too much of yourself. We’ve been telling ourselves that failing means we’re no good. But I can guarantee even the best Huntsmen in history… they’ve all lost. But they were still incredibly brave… and good.

In front of a genial ruby, Weiss and Jaune manage to move forward through each other.

Jaune is spiritually guided and shown empathy by Weiss. Weiss instead starts healing psychologically by helping Jaune. In a sense, this is a parallel and an inversion of their shared moment in volume 5. There Jaune finds himself strong enough to cure Weiss. Here Weiss finds herself wise enough to teach Jaune. Both are in a self-hate spiral, but then realize they are better than they think by saving the other. At the same time, this moment also calls back Jaune's "vision" in Lost. There Jaune is shown the way by a Pyrrha stand-in. Here Weiss steps into the role of spiritual adviser.

After spending the whole volume looking for someone to guide her, Weiss discovers she can be the guide. After spending the whole volume wanting to be the hero, Jaune realizes he is the one that needed help the whole time.

They both learn the main theme of the volume:

Jaune: Maybe that Cat was right… Maybe I just needed to accept it. It’s not a place you go.

They reach acceptance of who they are. Both their good traits and their negative traits. They accept they did their best, but also that they lost. And once they do, they become able to better accept others, as well:

Jaune: I think I get it. This is how we got here, or… why the Tree brought us here. Acceptance.

Weiss: We've done everything we can. Now it's up to Ruby. Whatever happens next… we have to welcome that.

Not only do they let go of their idealized self-images, but of Ruby's too. This is why they are ready to welcome her, no matter what. Strengths and limits, alike.

Thanks to their inner development, they both get to make another step into self-actualization. This growth is shown symbolically in the finale . Weiss is finally able to summon a full Nevermore, which combines all her previous glyphs (so it is symbolic of the self). Jaune accepts Alyx's hand and goes back to his real self through her (he goes from iron to mercury). These are glimpses of who Weiss and Jaune are going to finally become.

SOPHIA AND HERMES

Curious Cat: Looking at you, wise huntress.

Alyx: Maybe it’s time for a change, to be the kind of man you always wanted to be.

So, who are Weiss and Jaune going to be at the end of their journey? It is still too soon to say, but I would not be surprised if they were to become Sophia and Hermes to each other.

Who are Hermes and Sophia? They are the embodyments of a perfected animus and a perfected anima. In short, by the end of their psychological development, a woman should integrate with Hermes and a man should integrate with Sophia. Personally I think (wish) Weiss is stepping in the role of Sophia for Jaune, while Jaune is stepping in the role of Hermes for Weiss. Volume 9 might have given symbolic hints of this.

Weiss is directly associated with wisdom, which is what Sophia means.

Jaune goes from iron to mercury through Alyx and Mercury is just another way to call Hermes. Moreover, one of the symbols of Hermes in alchemy is a stag and well... Juniper resembles one.

Now, this final integration can be romantic (my preference) or platonic/individualistic (if they chicken out). What is sure is that it's going to happen, one way or another. It is just the cherry on top on a animus/anima story.

Snowhite and the Animus

Snowhite is the story of a child growing up. The first step in self-actualization is to stop identifying with the Mother, so the mirror image changes. This transformation generates an inner conflict. On the one hand there is the side who wants to grow up (Snowhite), on the other hand there is the side who doesn't wanna change (the Evil Queen). It is only by conquering the Evil Queen (the shadow), that Snowhite can truly become herself.

And how does she do it? She succeeds through an integration with her animus (masculine side):

The King is absent and doesn't help Snowhite

The Hunter appears and helps Snowhite

The Dwarves give Snowhite a home

The Prince saves Snowhite

As you can see, Snowhite's story is full of male characters and each new one is more helpful than the one before. This is because all these characters are representations of Snowhite's interiority and of her strenghtening animus. It is initially possessed, but then it progressively blooms until it saves the protagonist.

Now, this is just Weiss's story in a nutshell:

Willow is absent and Weiss's animus is possessed (The Arma Gigas she fights in the White Trailer)

Winter helps her and inspires Weiss to pursue her career as a Huntress (After her visit Weiss summons a part of her Knight)

Team RWBY welcomes Weiss and become her adoptive home and family (Weiss becomes herself through them)

Only the Prince is missing and it will probably be Jaune (he already is in volume 5). Wait, aren't all these characters women? Yes, they are because Weiss's fairy tale is all genderbent except her. So, why should Weiss's Prince be Jaune? Because in his case, he is the genderbent one :P

Jaune can be Weiss's Prince (again platonically or romantically) only if he fully blooms into Jeanne first. He can't be a real Knight, if he doesn't become a Maiden.

The Four Stages of Anima

Jaune's journey through the anima is well conveyed through 4 stages, which stand for archetypical female figures. Each one represents a different level of maturity:

Eve is the mother - The boy has no romantic attachment and sees the woman as a source of protection and nourishment

Helen is the seductress - The boy feels romantic attraction and sees the woman as a talented individual, but pays no attention to her spiritual or inner life

Mary is the virgin - The boy fells mature love and sees the woman as a paragon of virtue, but pays no attention to her negative traits

Sophia is wisdom - The boy is ready for a relationship with a woman as an equal partner and sees the feminine as a source of wisdom with no need to objectify the woman anymore

This scale describes Jaune's relationship with the feminine perfectly:

Eve is Pyrrha - she nurtures and protects him as a mentor and Jaune feels initially no attraction to her

Weiss is Helen - she is Jaune's first crush and he grows enough to see her as a talented person, but can't understand her inner world

Mary is Pyrrha - she becomes Jaune's guide and the embodyment of heroism and virtue

Only Sophia is missing and I think she will be Weiss. In general, though, these phases describe Jaune's general approach to women and how it changes. He arrives at Beacon looking for a girlfriend because that is what a man should do, which in itself is a very childish behavior. Then he grows to see the girls around him as powerful individuals, but he can't go behind the surface. This is true for Weiss, but also for Pyrrha, whose struggles he ignores. After her death, Pyrrha becomes an ideal, but she isn't the only one. For example, Jaune believes Weiss and Ruby can save Pyrrha from Cinder and later on he keeps idealizing them. In volume 9, he learns to let go of his idealization and to see others as their own people. He is stepping into Sophia (wisdom).

MIRROR MIRROR

I looked in the mirror And I gotta say It’s been a long long time Since I felt this way

Weiss and Jaune go through perfect mirror journeys, which are about recognizing others to see their own selves and vice versa. This is why Weiss's mirror mirror motif works so well for them.

They don't know who they are (mirror tell me who am I?)

They realize they dislike their current selves (mirror tell me who is the loneliest of all? I am the loneliest of all)

They work to change (mirror I'll tell you something, I might change it all)

They overcome their narcisism rooted in self-loathing (I'm shattering the mirror that keps me split in pieces)

Now that they can see who they are better, the next step is to probably see others more clearly. This is the secondary theme of the volume, after all: empathy.

Ruby breaks Summer's pedestal and as a result she can see herself better. In turn, this makes her able to look at others in a new light:

Weiss and Jaune do the same. They break Ruby's pedestal and show empathy and forgiveness for themselves and her. Still, this is framed as just the beginning. The theme of empathy is probably gonna be explored in later volumes. This is true for both Ruby's arc and Weiss and Jaune's stories.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if the next mirror mirror song is a conversation not with the mirror, but with another person? A person that is a mirror, but not because stuck inside it like Weiss in the beginning. A person, who is a mirror because every person can be a mirror of another if looked at with empathy. And this is what beating the mirror really means. Not to look at ourselves through it, but to look at ourselves through others. And to accept them. And to accept us.

#rwby #white knight #weiss schnee #jaune arc #rwby meta #my meta #rwby theory #sorry for this post's lenght but i love their foiling very very much and wanted to explore it fully

[erregiulydraws]

niigo

#pjsk #pjsk_FA #project sekai #prsk #n25 #nightcord at 25:00 #kanade yoisaki #mafuyu asahina #mizuki akiyama #ena shinonome #hatsune miku #group therapy with Miku <3 #jokes aside tough i love them so much #feeling like being saved by dark yet gentle songs is actually something i relate to as an angsty kinda depressed teen growing up #and listening to songs like rolling girl and self inflicted achromatic and so on and so forth #those songs are still special to me and i ended up getting attached to them as sort of an embodiment of that feeling #just that specific emotion of “there's something wrong with me and this one song UNDERSTANDS that” #the canvas ended up being basically the largest lenght allowed by my art program and due to that it crashed multiple times when trying to #export this so uhh whoops! the quality for the full pic probably sucks but i don't know how to fix it sorry

[py6oto]

this has nothing to do with anything ive ever posted but i need an answer.

#missing halloween #mike inel #missing halloween animation #animation #poll #how often do you think about the roman empire #except that instead of the roman empire it's this video #what does that phrase even mean by the way?? #sorry im getting off track !! #answer them polls #reblogs encouraged and appreciated big sample sizes or whatever #this is a silly poll btw !!! dont ... dont worry i wont actually use this information i just wanna know #i cried to this by the way #its just that good.. #why are the only lenght options for polls 1 day and 1 week btw. #what happened to everything between those

[ramenwithbroccoli]

finally introducing the other character who also occupies a part of my brain:

Meet Giewont!

while the creator of it, Maria Leszczyńska, originally intended to make a war machine, she struggled a lot with finding resources then. however, with her and her family's life deeply affected by both world wars, the idea never left her mind. inspired by utopian idea of glass houses from a novel "the spring to come" ¹, she created her machine from glass. it would be cheap to make, yet durable, available as help to those in need, able to do hard work in times when it was needed - but if fragile peace was in danger again, it could fight alongside other soldiers. as if to set that role of protector in stone, she named it Giewont ². to test her creation, she gifed it to her brother Andrzej, who owned a small farm near the seaside.

Giewont worked as much as four men, not needing to be paid or fed like people would. it was a perfect solution for everybody, the new industrial revolution. that was, until about half a year into her work, glass started to shatter. it turned out not to be as durable as the utopian story made it to be, especially in contact with rough farm tools. small cracks also started to appear after they worked outside in winter, with low temperatures on the outside and hot steam circulating inside. with her fingers and edges getting sharper every day, Giewont was forbidden from taking care of animals anymore, as she would injure them. she was given the only task with no way to injure others - they recieved a showel fully made from metal and was ordered to dig. she did as she was told, even though the work put strain on her already-falling-apart fingers.

but when one day, when returning home, she noticed daughter of Andrzej, Aniela, swimming too far away from the shore and having trouble coming back, long forgotten wire snapped into its place as she jumped into the water to save her. while Giewont did bring her back home, carrying her in their arms, the girl had severe cuts on her body from coming in contact with robot's sharp hands. furious with his sister creation, Andrzej took it outside, desperate to destroy it. blinded by anger, he didn't even notice the storm gathering over the horizon

Andrzej took the metal showel and struck Giewont on the side on their head, then again, until her body fell and crumbled to pieces. He covered it with sand and raised his hands to deal the final blow.

that's when the lightning struck.

and the man fell to the ground, dead.

the sand melted from the heat around Giewont, filling the empty spaces and connecting the pieces back together. raising from their shallow grave, with body more rigid than what she was used to, she took her shovel and decided to bury the man, with what respect they had left for him. that was, after she dealt the final blow herself.

although miraculous, the lightning didn't return her to the previous state of being. their motions were stiff and some parts of theirs got lost forever among the sands of the beach. the part of her head where the first blow was dealt never worked properly again, rendering Giewont deaf in one ear (or whatever was left from it). however it did some good as well, as it widened the space around her mouth, finally making them able to talk - even if it was simillar to a whistle. determined to help people but with a body that kept hurting everyone around her, Giewont set off into the world, trying to find a home and piece herself together, leaving parts herself and a dead body behind.

footnotes below the cut:

1. "During one pause in their journey, the elder Baryka tells Cezary of an entrepreneur who, along Poland’s Baltic coast, devised an ingenious method for manufacturing durable glass from the vast reserves of pristine sands that had lain for eons beneath coastal peat fields. By a massive Rube Goldberg-type arrangement of channels and a creative method for harnessing the westerly winds (the storytelling here is a literary engineering feat in itself), an incursion of the sea provides power for converting the extracted sand into glass. From this vitreous wonder substance, prefabricated houses of glass are built inexpensively. The houses are strong as steel, hygienic, and easy to heat in winter and keep cool in summer. Whole villages are built with houses of brightly colored glass. Life becomes less of a struggle for mere existence, more civilized, and without the need to toil incessantly. People eat less meat or no meat at all, and begin to revere farm animals as sacred beings. For the reader, the digression serves to freshen the mental palate. For Cezary, however, the story is altogether beguiling, raising the utopian prospect of a more wonderful life, reunited with a homeland that might have been his to begin with and a father he has just rediscovered" - via neh.gov

wow thanks for skimming through footnotes as well! as a reward, here's the first ever design of both Janka and Giewont (which proves they were both created around the same time :] )

2. "Those knights had been in a deep sleep for hundreds of years and they only would wake up if it is time to fight on a great battle. When this day comes, the earth will move, there will be thunders that would shake the sky, many trees will fall and break, and there would be noises when the Border Mountains will break. On that moment the knights will take their horses and they will gallop to fight for Poland once again." - the legend of the sleeping knights

a lot had changed since that time :]

#i hope it wasn't too long :') #sorry if tge drawings vary in between them i kind of drew them in way different times #AND BTW i know all of them have cracks but yellow cracks were supposed to apper after they got almost killed #i just never did the drawing of original giewont. huh #me when i try nkt to give my oc a backstory the lenght of do you love the colors of the sky post -> 😰😰 #OH AND ALSO she doesn't have to be purple. thats just what i went with because of my pens but. shes glass #they can be blue. they can be green. they can be yellow or rainbow or whatever. she can be see through. so if i draw her again and the colo #is different don't yell at me alright? the cracks stay yellow tho #spg fanbot #<- i mean. technically it is the same case as with janka but im even less sure now. can remive the tag at request #oc #original character #giewont spg #<- gotta remember to put spg there or mountain fans of tumblr will come for my blood #welcome to the family giewont :D

[rawliverandgoronspice]

f in the chat for my poor neighbors forced to hear me hum bad japanese and sea shanties louder and louder since early afternoon as I desperately try to punch down the wordcount on my endless translation work

#thoughts #shitpost #to whomstever my neighbors might be: #sorry for my AYIIIIIAIIII FOOOORCEEEES #u_u #I think I'm like barely halfway done #I'm late because of my wrist :(((( #but making progress! #translation is kinda fun tho! #it's just yeah a lot #basically a short novel lenght-wise #a novella worth of words let's say #I did not start slow and easy!!!

[finnthepaladin]

My hopes for S3 Bridgerton

Despite the fact that I have already written a S3 prediction fanfic back when S2 had just come out, I now have to redo all that (obviously) bc of the new info we got. However, I am super lazy which is why this will be just the story that I desperately wish would happen (take into account that I have read the book but the show has different stakes, so it will be quite different none the less:

So, the season starts off with Colin coming back from Europe once again but this time he is not alone: He has found three gentlemen to be his business partners for a new idea that he has. The men include Lord Debling whom he introduces to his family and a few others of the ton. Once again, Lady Whistledown tries to find out new information on these men, which is why she stays rather close, despite Colin being there but despite her always being close to him, he realizes that she doesn't come to him and questions that, which is why we get that scene (the "Goodnight, Mr. Bridgerton" scene).

However, her presence close to the new men of the ton has not only been noticed by Colin but also by Lord Debling, who overhears a snarcy remark of Penelope, who has her new found confidence, against Cressida and starts laughing. Embarrased, Cressida walks away and he comes up to Pen and starts asking her questions about herself. However, Pen doesn't take him seriously because she actually has never seen a man flirt with her and so she tries to walk away, for the first time not using her "nice voice" she uses for Eloise, her mother OR Colin and the man is impressed by her demeaner.

The next day Colin asks Pen for forgiveness, obviously she declines, but he wants to make it better and instead asks if she would give him a chance if he proves to be a help to her in regards to finding a husband. Despite not wanting that at first, Pen accepts, as she overhears a conversation between her mother and the housekeeper in which it is clear that they might lose the house due to them not having enough money. Penelope thinks she could maybe buy with her own money "suitors presents" if she were to at least appear to be in some sort of courtship, which the family could sell and than save the house and their status in the ton.

At the same time, Lord Debling finds out about the society paper "Lady Whistledown" and despite him not having any interest in the ton itself, finds the mystery behind that woman appealing and he decides to keep his ears open for possible Lady Whistledowns.

Colin and Pen starts their lessons and one of them is dancing. Pen doesn't understand why she has to start with that bc no one would ask her to dance anyways but Colin tells her that he will dance with her and that dancing is a great opportunity for her to show off herself. The two have a little "moment" alone, dancing.

Late in the evening, Pen goes out as Lady Whistledown and buys jewelery and such to send herself in the morning, however, this seems to be more complicated as she now has to work with people who ask questions and so she searches for a merchant. Eloise, who now has a close eye on her bc of their fight, notices her in the streets as she also went ahead to find Theo (something that she has done multiple times before appearently). Pen lectures her and Eloise snakily asks her what she is doing out here then. Pen tells her of the money problem and that she wishes to invest in her families home. Eloise things this is dangerous and stupid and Pen lectures her once again, telling her "not every one has the assets to live off of their family. Some of us have to help out to survive, even if that might be in secret." Eloise is impressed but doesn't quite understand that statement. She never actually considered the financial situation of the Featheringtons and she has also never seen a woman provide for her family. They both leave, still being bitter with one another, but at least Eloise now understands a bit more of Pens situation.

During the next ball, Colin asks Pen to dance but right before he can take her hand, Lord Debling comes and asks her and Pen felt relieved, not actually being ready to dance with Colin. Because Colin and the Lord are friends, he doesn't interfere but he does notices them for the rest of the night, as they both seem to smile and talk with one enougher, something he had yet to accomplice after he had such a big cut with Pen due to his doing.

Pen feels comfortable talking with the Lord and decides not to hinder herself in any way, as he is "just a business man" and "he will leave soon anyways". Lord Debling realizes that Pen has a ig understanding of the ton, businesses of any kind and insight into the financial situation of the places owned by the majesty (as she has been to those places and worked with the footmens as well as the small businesses) and he finds himself drawn the their conversation. The night ends with Pen being surprised as Lord Debling would be interested in continuing the conversation at the next event (kind of making it into a date) and kisses her hand.

The lessons with Colin go further. They are clumsy and Colin seems to introduce her to a bunch of gentlemen but always leaving out Lord Debling, not realizing quite why (we know why: the Lord seems to be more of a threat to him than he ultimitely assumed).

At the same time, the Queen seems to be getting into a problem. One of her sons seems to be invloved in a scandal with another man. Just like in the book (Queen Charlotte) she has no problem with it but still has to protect him bc the crowns position is at stake if it was found out that the crown prince (or the son of hers she announced would be the king after her husbands death, which is an important matter due to the health of king Goerge).

The Queen believes Lady Whistledown to one day find out and reveal this matter to the public as a scandal. This is why once again, Queen Charlotte tries to find out who Lady Whistledown is.

(I am so sorry, this is way too long:)

Eloise gets involved in finding Lady Whistledown but tries to not involve Pen bc she has a talk with Kate where is learns that independent women can also wish for marriage and learns more about the Featheringtons and Pen and her have a conversation and become friends again (i know, very detailed, wow XD)

Violet has been set up to have a love interest this season too but she keeps remembering her husband and declines

Colin has a talk with his mother about "finding love after having lost love before" and how no one is "damaged goods" and how he should be open to feel again, even if he was hurt the first time(bc of Miss Thomsen)

Fife first acts as if he is interested in Pen only to make fun of her

Colin finds out and Pen asks him for a kiss bc she thinks she will never find love and will die a spinster

Lord Debling defends Pen publicly infront of Fife and the men Colin was talking to in S2 last ep

Colin asks Debling when he leaves, he reveals that he will stay longer as he has something that "peaks his interest" (it is Pen and Lady Whistledown, he slowly realizes their speak pattern is similar bc Pen is very open with showing her true colors infront of him as he is an outsider and she previously overheard he will leave this week)

Pen meets Miss Thomsen who is ill and will die. Miss Thomsen wishd to speak to her, she says she forgives her and she figured she was the one who told LW. She also says Pen should tell Colin her feelings. Colin overheards the part about her feelings. Pen declines, stating she is over him. This makes him uncomfortable as he now knows he would have had a chance, if hadn't been such a mess before.

Pen goes out doing her LW thing and Colin, who is now seriously jealous after talking to Lord Debling and overhearing that Pen tries to move on and thinks they meet in private

The letter scene in the church happens (from the book), he is relieved she wasn't meeting Lord Debling, he finds out she is LW and the carriage scene happens but before Colin can propose, Eloise storms in and announces that the Queen believes Pen to be LW

Sooner that day: the Queen finds out that Pen has been seen buying stuff from merchants and such and she is now suspected to be LW

On a ball, Pen and Lord Debling talk and he proposes to her, telling her he figured out she is LW by himself and that he would protect her from the Queen and her family and she could live out her dream as a writer in his hometown in europe but before she can answer anything Colin drags her out and proposes to her, she is completely dumbfounded and only thinks it is bc of what happened in the carriage, she declines, Colin believes it is bc of Lord Debling

Pen searches about dirt on the Queen, we learn more about her connections to the slums and the underground world of maids and footmen and she finds out about the Queens sons secret

she helps the Queen and her son to keep the secret when it is about to be a big topic in the ton and instead talks about another scandal

the Queen knows now Pen is LW and thanks her. She warns her to never write badly of the crown or question her ever again and that from now in she is to tell her all the gossip herself

Pen tries to not meet Colin and Colin confesses he believes he has loved her for a long time

Colin and Debling get in a fight (more like Colin starts a fight) and Debling reveals that he will leave as Pen went to him and said she can't possibly imagen leaving her family and friends (now that she has made up with Eloise) and move to Europe

Colin runs to Pen and proposes to her infront of her family but her sisters reveals what he said to those men on that ball in S2 and for the first time her mother seems to only think of her daughters well-being and declines, however Pen steps up and tells her that he has proven to love her and that it should not b her place to decide whom she wishes to marry

Violet doesn't decline that gentleman anymore and says she will meet him on a date in public

S4 will include Anthony not being happy about that and trying to interfere

The couple of S4 gets kinda introduced with Sophie being revealed to have a connection to the gossip LW publishes (maybe??)

the Polin wedding

Pen and Colin go on their honeymoon to Europe, somewhere with a lot of nature and they simulatioulsy do a plant joke

Pen gets to stay LW but with the new support of the Queen (which might reveal problems for the later series??)

END S3

I am so sorry for my grammar, english is not my native language.

#bridgerton s3 #polin s3 #bridgerton #bridgerton predictions s3 #netflix #bridgerton season 3 #pen x colin #penelope featherington #lady whistledown #colin bridgerton #series predictions #season 3 #i have so many more ideas #i am so sorry for the lenght of this post #polin forever #violet bridgerton #anthony bridgerton #bridgerton series #period drama #drama #book vs series #romancing mr bridgerton #book vs movie #bridgerton books #queen charlotte

[darabeatha]

  /  What if this was strictly (from my end) a very simple dialogue starter call- (pls do specify if not im skipping 😳👉👈 )

muse list for ref! : Constantine XI (rider) ; Ashwatthama (archer) ; Vlad III (slighty canon div) ; Jason (saber) ; Camazotz (temp. assassin) ; Odysseus (rider) ; Daybit (crypter) ; Tezcatlipoca (grand assassin) ; Charlemagne (saber) Moctezuma II (Avenger) ; Caeneus (lancer) ; Oberon ( - ) ; Medb (rider) ; morgan le fay (berserker) ; kukulkán ( - ) ; tlaloc (pretender)

#;s.tarter call #OK BUT ONE MORE THING- this also includes; o.beron g.il d.aybit and s.aito #OH OH ALSO K.ARNA OR A.RJU TOO #/I SAY THIS BC;; i always sort of end up getting off the rails; so it would be from my end no descriptions nor paras #/feel free to reply in more lenght or anything if i write one! its just from my end i'll start simple as to not feel overwhelmed fioo #it can of course develop to something else heck yeah! #/ALSO ! only applies for my primary muses #/also if u would be interested in this; u have to pick o n e (1) #its like;; u have to pick them with zero hesitation; u call their name like I CHOSE Y O U #it has to be otherwise i might have to skip sorry! #mutuals only tho😳 #ok one more thing;; i might do these randomly as my inspiration comes (as in no specific order)

[plasticfangtastic]

American Royalty. Ch. 9

A Homelander x F! Reader/Dadlander fanfic

A/N: so sorry for the long delay, was a bit overwhelmed irl and needed a break from writing, and this chapter its the longest on the fic and editing it was a difficult. thank you so much for reading Hope y'all like it and warning this is a long chapter fr fr-- prev. chapter here:

Tags: mild gore, angst, slow burn, fluff, oc characther, child neglect, dadlander, romance, child murder mention, murder mention.

Chapter Nine

Tally

A field trip to the museum of natural history was scheduled for the day and to your daughter's unsurprised annoyance– here was her father riding the school bus too… 

Homelander had made a surprising decision.

This was his way to win you both, putting himself more and more present in your lives as gently as he could muster, suddenly taking special interest in her schooling, as this was important to you both– more than you had anticipated, he would have. 

Joining the PTA board, not even making an immediate fuss on the injustice of not being worshiped on sight, acting maturely even if slightly jaded about not being handed the head of the table upon blessing them with his presence– but there he was helping out when asked by the other members with fundraisers and other volunteer works if possible. 

He would come and watch them do their homework-- one while at work and the other at his home, coming over every night to tuck her in, for Ryan went to bed at 9 like a good kid and Helena did not turn sleepy ‘til midnight, flying to school almost everyday to make sure both children were still present, and to pick up Ryan. 

Wishing he could take her too but strong enough to accept he couldn't just yet… his many enemies and detractors a source of constant concern in your mind, so even if it hurt, Homelander knew it was the safest thing he could do for now, the simplest thing to ease your worries for the time being.

 Helena was more concerned about how such a busy man had enough time to spare just to stop-by to make sure his kids entered the right car, how he had time to follow the driver to make sure he took the fastest route and that his behavior was proper– poor time management skills and a small battalion of distressed assistants, she thought.

It killed him, it killed him to play a stranger towards her, wishing he could do more than wave good morning and good afternoon, finding himself being stared at by the other caregivers as he gawked at his daughter for too long while she waited for her driver or as she was dropped off by you or her driver in the morning, as you no longer let her walk to school. The girl did a better job at pretending not to know him, offering flat smiles at best while he tried to keep his expression blank.

You couldn’t deny he was trying so dearly to be there.

He found it irritating how easy it was for Helena to talk to the driver than it was to talk to her own father, embitter at the lightness in her voice. The two filling the space with discussions about growing up in the eastern bloc, about how the 60+ year old had worked as a taxi driver for over 20 years before turning to the private sector because the hours were better, about coming to the country in his late teens, fascinated about how his father had raised 2 kids then his 2 nephews after the death of his sister, about how he worked in the sanitation department until he was 80 years old– she spoke with ease to the older man, while stiff and impersonal with him, perpetually cautious around him. Homelander would’ve replaced him on the spot had he not had the itchy feeling that she would get angry at him for it.

The two could discuss work with ease at least– she was quick to unravel office politics and their thousands unspoken rules, coming to understand how Vought's hierarchy was more than just letters outside of doors, and salaries, quite easily.

Engrossed by the bizarre world of Superhero shenanigans, eager to learn what it took to manage the powered and unruly, what it really took to make a Supe, and the spoken human cost that kept the light on… it was all required reading in order to understand how the business was– these people were ultimately vapid and dangerous. A-Train was still a soft spot for her (she was okay with making exception after all everybody did the same) they discussed movie deals and product branding with more spit than it took discussing actual hero work, saving people and doing good was not even secondary to their priorities, while others in the same building discussed murders and other colorful cover-ups made by her fellow brethren over the water cooler. At first The Seven had been opposed to her presence… silently of course, to have a stranger moseying around their territory was unnerving much less a child… but once it became common knowledge that the little would-be tyrant was not a normal child they had turned far more self-conscious, but all it had taken was one look from Homelander daring them voice their discomforts for all of them to shower her with pleasantries and complements, for all of them to act as if she wasn't in the room.

Helena was quick to note how much of a fooney her father was-- faking and selling niceties with believable charm as if this was his normal behavior in their meetings, it was beyond obvious in the unsaid way everybody was fearful of his bite that he was just acting for her sake, confusing the lot, making them wonder why he did such a thing to impress a precocious stranger– Helena could see him squirming in his seat, squeezing his fists, desperate to lash out whenever The Seven irritated him. 

As long as she sat in the room he denied his true nature, she took note of it… curious as to how catastrophic it would be once he reached boiling point, wanting to know if she could push his buttons even further out of morbid curiosity.

The group theorized what truly motivated his behavioral changes, some believed the online whispers of netizens, while others had a more insipid suspicions, thankful that in the long list of abilities he had did not include telepathy– regardless it was nice to not be murdered on the spot for their misdemeanors.

She thought it would’ve been easy if he just spilled the beans but at this point both yours and Homelander’s relationship status had been kept under wraps– the board and Ashley had been the only ones informed. A matter of strategic release, it seemed.

Coming headfirst and dropping the news was considered but the spectacle that came from Homelander’s reveal of Ryan had been grating and a nightmare for the company-- but as the writing team worked their magic, the revelation was woven into a dramatic narrative, feeding scraps and crumbs to the curious masses just to kept the conversation, Ryan had been kept safe from netizens during the trail days, the internet speculated without permission about Homelander's personal life and his son– but now they were invited to do so for you and by extension Helena.

It had all begun from a paparazzi scoop, a staged candid photo showing Homelander in civvie cosplay and you his blushing partner staring at each other romantically, then the money shot of you two kissing in pretend secrecy.

The public went wild with it, for years Homelander’s many relationships were a source of entertainment so this was just another thing for consumption, many tried to learn  about you, the first images just grainy and purposefully angled poorly to kept your partially obscured, with each week after the original release more and more images began circulating… culminating in Homelander’s own social media account announcing his shocking engagement to a young New York chef.

It was all the news could talk about, and now Helena had to bear the public’s sudden interest.

People wanted to know all the details, to know all there was to know about you, your unmarketable story had been handled by Vought making you feel safe but that had been a nightmare on its own, but that was for later…

It would’ve been easy if she at least had Elmo to confide with, if Helena had anybody but her driver and her lab assistant to talk to.

But there she was forever in the confines of her mind, lost in books, and playing chess at school and chess-rooms.

Homelander had noted how quiet she’d become, more than usual… spying from a distance witnessing his daughter’s loneliness and unable to help– At school she was a loner, expected from a child that stood out too much, a child with poor socialization skills and her abrasive personality it wasn't surprising, spending her lunchest alone and break times in the library or the music room honing her skills instead of socializing, on the occasion she could converse with one of the older kids in her music class, bringing a smile to his face… sounding so much like a girl as the older kid taught her a piece– she wasn’t like Ryan who had come out of his shell, making a small group of buddies and acquaintances with ease but Helena hadn’t had any luck. John knew from you, that she had always been like that, with time she would find somebody, that he should be patient, for Helena was resilient… but he couldn’t bear to look at it.

And he knew just what to do.

Sven Cripple wasn’t what he expected– Just another schmuck in marketing that liked to dress in casual clothes to stand out in the office, thinking of Nigel, this man certainly seemed misplaced on the other’s side. He was lanky and tall, his pale blonde hair natural and his nose protruding… it was the tattoos and piercings that looked out of place next to that new money prude. The man gave him an ill-conceived stern look, before washing it with fake friendliness.

“How can I help you Homelander?” He said, looking as his team hurried out of the room.

“Just wanted to come down for a chat… how’s little Elmo doing? Haven’t seen him in daycare for a while.”

“We decided to take Elmo out for the time being–

“Just because my daughter is around” He cut him– that’s a bit cruel.”

“With all due respect sir… your daughter tried to kill my son,” he said with a snap.

“You mean: tried to make him better by increasing his chances of success in this industry.” Homelander tried to remain friendly– I’ve heard that Elmo's health hasn’t deteriorated in the least, and has gotten quite good with his new found powers.”

“Yes, he is doing well. Thank you for your concern, sir.” He took his laptop from the table– is there anything else I can do for you?”

“Yes, bring Elmo back to daycare” Homelander dug into his belt pulling out a pamphlet from Helena’s school– "Is a great school, Elmo would surely thrive there.”

Sven dare not take the piece of paper, feeling nervous as Homelander stares down at him from beneath.

The man took a deep breath wanting nothing but to end the conversation and head back to work.

“Thank you but we like Elmo’s school and we aren’t–

“You live in Chinatown don’t you? Forsyth street, right? Lovely apartment, great price for a three bedroom in this city, decent enough to house that yappy little doodle-mix… so cute! Love your decour who doesn't love mid-century modern… and surprisingly quiet streets plus you’re near an okay school at walking distance and for that price– what a bargain! I’m so jealous” He spoke so smoothly, licking his teeth as he took a step forward– now… just between us. Man to Man… concerned father to concerned dad…” He took the man by the chin cupping his face to force him to watch him straight in the eyes– you’re going to get your store bought misborn brat, and you are going to bring him back to daycare. You’re going to enroll him into this school, and let him and Helena be best friends forever or I’m going to make you eat him. I’ll sit you down and your fucking husband and serve him to you in a platter with so much ssamjang you would lick your fingers from how delicious it was! And then I’ll kill your husband and your yappy little gay dog before you’re framed for their murders.” He says with a smile.

Sven felt his bladder almost empty as the red lights burned so hot, his eyes had turned dry and his lips chapped from the heat radiating from him.

“Now you can go and tell anybody about what I just said, and try to get me in trouble but just so you know… I’m so fast and little kids don’t run that well…. even flying ones; Or you could do as I say and we can pretend to be buddies, right champ?” He gave the man’s cheek a light tap as he turned the lights off– I think Helena and Elmo would make a great team… does he miss her? Don’t lie to me.”

“He’s been upset lately.” he whispers.

Homelander squints but it's pleased at the man’s meek demeanor.

“I know sometimes we parents have to make hard decisions but think about it… it's what you and Nigel always wanted… for him to be famous… under my wing he'll achieve more than any other Supe could, I have this grand vision and I know without him Helena won’t like it… it would benefit him regardless.”

“That's not what–

“You gave him V! Don't act so sanctimonious why else would you if it wasn’t for personal gain!? To make sure he never got a cold!? Please save it… maybe not you… maybe Nigel, but you gave him compound V for a reason. So don’t squander your investment. You are just another greedy wannabe trophy parent.” He spat on his shoe– I expect to see the kid by next week at the latest, förstått?” 

Sven crumbled behind him, making music for Homelander’s ears as the man realized just who Homelander truly was, knowing full well that there was nobody in this building that he could turn to, too afraid to find out what would transpire dare he tried to run.

By next week he could barely contain his smug satisfaction as he saw the kid return– he had done something you couldn’t with such ease, whereas you try talking to Nigel, try to build a connection via apologies that the man hadn’t care for after giving him space… he had given your child his friend back.

While there was no dramatic run towards each other, there was that sweet little smile on her face as they both sat together to draw.

By next month he would join her in school… admittedly Homelander did forget that the kid was in the 2nd grade but even with the distance, they still found ways to see each other… After all, a kid sneaking out of class didn’t stand out if she looked like any other grade schooler.

It was something… it was more than he ever had… he would’ve killed to have at least one more person with him in that room, one he could actually touch… he wanted to give her everything he could but for the first time he shared some of your grief.

“Shouldn’t you be at work?”

Helena ceased to move her fingers from the keys, instead of attending study sessions she had wandered off to one of the music rooms, the teachers well aware and unconcerned.

“Shouldn’t you be in study hall or the library?”

“I like it here.” She turns slightly to face him– you didn't answer my question.”

“I was in the area and decided to come by and say hi.”

“This isn’t your territory and that’s not allowed.” she says firmly.

 “Saw that Elmo started attending school– Mr. Radmilo told me he saw you talking to a kid yesterday evening… a boy that sounded a lot like Elmo.”

Helena chortled mightily amused by his poor performance, before she could say a thing he sat by her side placing a couple fingers making a tune with his fingers, she was tempted to follow him and test if he had any skills.

“That was your doing wasn’t it? Mom wasn’t making any strides in that department… What did you do?”

“I am The Homelander and their boss… would you tell me no, if you were them?”

Helena could only imagine what he would do to strangers he didn’t care about, compared to what he had done to you… he might’ve been worse. She leaned against him playing a couple keys just to play along– it was awful to admit but she was glad, she was glad her friend was back, glad that her lunchest wouldn’t be so lonely, that at least she could sneak out to the playground and hang out with him, that she had somebody to talk to.

“Thank you… do you play?”

“Noir used to play… I would stop by his apartment and he would play for me from time to time… I was taught a couple tunes but it was never for me… I miss it… listening to him.”

“He doesn’t play anymore?”

“That’s just a guy being paid to wear his suit… kept the brand– That’s not my Noir… so anyways… I was thinking you and I can ditch school for the day and hang out before we come back to pick up, Ryan.”

Her eyes opened wide, smirking at the suggestion.

“Asking me to ditch school… that’s not a good thing to encourage…”

“Are you going to fall behind if you do?”

He wrapped his arm around her shoulders pulling her closer, playing with her hair.

“Nope!” She did like the feeling of being pet, it was nice, his hands bigger than yours, feeling so small under his glove and wishing it wasn’t there at all– where are we going?”

“I wanted to show you one of my favorite places in the world.” He said with a glimmer in his eyes– I think you’ll love it!”

She nodded and pushed herself free, letting him drag her out of the school while everybody was bored in class, he tucked her firmly in his arms holding her head against his chest as he took flight.

How could anybody ever get used to this sinking feeling in the gut that comes from the rapid ascent, the way her ears close shut and the taste of blood flooded into her mouth, how did a normal human withstand this when her body was above average yet still struggled, she squeezed his body the best she could, unable to speak or breath. Her mind works fast, knowing this would be risky but she builds a small bubble, gasping as everything around her cranium suddenly feels back at home.

Inside her bubble nothing moves, the air it's still but clear, below the neck it was left to god.

Homelander looked down catching those frightened little hands clutching at him, he slowed down so quickly he made himself queasy, flying was no different from breathing or sleeping to him, he looked down hoping she hadn’t lost consciousness, his throat closing on itself as she took a second to look up shivering in his arms, he squeezed her tight and began his descent, still a couple hundred miles from his destination. 

The ground felt otherworldly as he landed with a soft thud under his boot.

“Am so sorry…” He choked, his body matching hers as he collapses placing her down to check for her wounds, tears welling up making it hard to see.

“Too fast… Too fast” She muttered, trying not to cry as she watched him do the same– okay… that was mach 2?”

He nodded frantically, eyes flooding as he found nothing wrong with her organs.

“Let’s try mach 1… or turtle… do I have any organ failure? I don’t fe-fe-feel I do.” She said as she squatted on the ground making sure to feel the grass on her hands– let’s do that again.”

“Is all good… oh dear god you’re good!” He broke first.

She petted his hair, slumping on his shoulders forming a bubble around her body preventing her father from holding her further, he watched her confusedly as her body slid away from him.

“Actually go full speed I wanna test something” Shaking off her initial fright with ease– take the bubble and go full speed. I need to know something… What a great opportunity to test my abilities!” She said cheerfully– my body it’s able to withstand it to a degree… I was dizzy and I had difficulty breathing but I didn’t bleed… my ears hurt so its likely my eardrums would have bursted if I hadn’t enveloped my head but who knows when that would've happen."

“What are you on about?” He said nervousy.

“Everything is an opportunity to learn! Is okay– is not like I inherited your physiology, all I got was a hearty dose of compound V.” She rubbed her chin– wonder tho… Ryan is a carbon copy of you... there are records of powers being “inheritable” altho there isn’t much research on the matter– would love it if I could use Ryan for research later on, if possible." She mumbled to herself-- Pick me up and let’s go. I need to see if my bubble can withstand high speeds!”

Homelander had a difficult time understanding, for a moment he considered letting her know but the voice in his head told him to keep quiet just for a little longer.

He had a hard time figuring out the most comfortable way to lift the bubble, forcing her to make it smaller for ergonimic reasons, from inside she could find his fingers reshaping the surface by sheer force, a terrifying discovery.

It was no different from a carnival ride, her body flung against the wall of the bubble, the wind rippling all over the surface, pressure forcing her against one direction, but she could still move forward.

They reached the clearing outside an old farmhouse, a dusty american flag waving in the wind of the light blue and gray house, a large tree faced the front and Helena could only recognize it from an episode of Supes in America, he placed her carefully under the tree’s shadow, a wind chime coloured the wind, as she took a step out, following his lead as he entered the house forgetting he had brought her along for a second, the rustling leaves sung alongside rusted chimes, she looked at the overgrown grass and weeds lining the front yard, at last season’s dead leaves and fresh dead ones littered across the porch.

Inside everything had been covered in sheets, old cobwebs had made a home in the once cozy house, and picture frames caked in layers of dust clouding familiar faces.

Homelander headed for the living room where an old piano decorated with plane models adorned the room. She remembered the episode somewhat… expecting a retelling of factoids she could pull out from some youtube clip in an instant, a picture of an older blonde couple holding a small toddler in blue, white and red stripes, in fact they all were wearing some shade of red and blue, she noted.

Helena climbed to the piano picking the photograph as her father just followed quietly.

“Were they nice? Mine suck, lol.”

“They would’ve loved you. I’m sure of it.’ He spoke quietly– mom loved the piano too… I always wanted to hear the old thing play again.”

Helena smiled putting the photo by the dining table before it, flicking the lid open and scouring the music sheet for a decent tune, Homelander sat on the wooden table watching her hands play 'Schubert– moment musicaux No. 3', her fingers long enough to not strain her hand as she started to get to the most difficult parts of the intermediate song.

“Just like mom used to play… you must’ve gotten it from her.”

“Thank you.” Her fingers began to move to a different tempo, speeding up as she began a different concerto, Homelander picked it up watching her quizzically as her hands moved faster and faster, there was a darkness in the music– she must’ve been a virtuoso to be able to play Brahms most obnoxious pieces as a hobby!”

Her fingers smashed on the keys as the Hungarian dance sped up, missing notes and pains building all the way up her elbow– quitting all together, cursing at her fingers for being too short, cursing at her arms, wiping the sweat of her brow angrily.

She took the music sheet book flipping its cover towards Homelander to reveal the author, he should’ve known the set designers or prop makers had no care for the little things.

“What’s going on?”

Homelander swallowed a couple knots looking down away from her, he stood up.

“…follow me”

She dragged herself out of that piano as her father headed upstairs, his feet loud on the creaky floorboards, the halls just as dusty and quiet on the floors above, the fragrance of mildew and time permeated in the air, all the doors were shut except for one– the cream coloured walls adorned with frames pictures of baseball stadiums, small league baseball team flags with a tiger mascot sprinkled on the wall, and model airplanes hung from the ceiling decorated the small children bedroom. She gave a rounded look to the room, spotting the small bookcase filled with blue spines, a stack of worn down Hardy Boys’s books, and a cute wood carved rabbit.

Grimacing at the massive poster of the American declaration of independence with its tacky eagle/flag shield drawing on top, she shouldn’t criticized for her walls were mostly bare but this felt odd, decorated with books and awards she had won, her only pretty poster was a polaroid of a cat she found at a garage sale, but there was something bizarre being witness. It felt made for TV, it didn’t feel natural once the warm filter was off.

The room wasn’t as dusty as the floor below, he paused before the small collection of trophies on top of the dressers fidgeting until they were all straight, giving the room an odd look around before slumping on top of the children’s bed, a bit of dust danced on the sunlight, Homelander took the red cap off the bed post throwing it at Helena’s direction, Helena opted to sit on the small gangnam print armchair, putting the hat to humor him.

“You don’t get any whiter.” Her eyes keep staring at the poster– you always been this needlessly patriotic?”

“What? You have dissenting opinions against the government? You little anarchist.”

“This country is run by senile geriatrics and billionaire oligarchs… but above all… humans.”

He fixed the pillow as he closed his eyes with a light chuckle clinging on his lips.

“Humans… you think it shouldn’t be them?”

“Supes are a minority, humans would always lead nations no matter how many of us are around. They could use with a fresh pair of eyes, tho… not to mention you could kill a lot of those in charge and it would be a good thing.”

“Bit extreme."

“Maybe growing up in a place like this makes it difficult to understand what it's like to live on the side of those the government deems a burden.”

“I didn’t grow up in a place like this– this is all fake…” Homelander opened his eyes slowly, staring at the silver plane dangling from his roof, blowing with enough force to make it spin on its threads– they built this for TV… my room didn’t have anything… just a bed… a toilet and sink– no bathtub or shower in case I tried to kill myself or hurt myself if I showered or something! Nothing else… just bare walls… not even a window just an air vent.”

Helena cocked her head, brows touching as she heard him talk, her eyes gliding back at that stupid poster.

“You were in foster care? I’ve seen the Vought operated orphanage facilities… not exactly optimal.”

Homelander turned on the bed wanting to tell her all the things he held, but his tongue turned so heavy he dare not… not yet… would she pity him? would she think of him as pathetic? It was hard to see if she felt any form of sympathy at times– but he didn’t want that from his child, it was not a burden for her to carry, he thought.

“Something like that… I never knew my mother… she didn’t want me, I think. My father didn’t know he had me… then he tried to kill me when he meet me.” He took a deep breath, trying to make himself laugh as if it was a silly annotation in his life– Vought took care of me when I was a baby.”

“Was it a bad facility?” She didn't think it was right to ask, wondering why he was saying such heavy things with such lightness on his tone.

“I would burn the whole world before I let you or Ryan end up in a place like that.” His voice was stable but his expression betrayed him– it was lonely and awful. But I managed.”

“I’m sorry… we cannot help the nature of our birth or the nature of those who cared for us… we just have to deal with the leftovers they left us with– doesn’t need to hurt less, right?”

She paused, caught by that saddened expression forming on her father's face, at his gloves squeak under his grip. Helena fiddles with her backpack, jumping off the armchair towards him-- he looks up at the open palm holding candy, her lips trembly purse and her eyebrows fold downwards, finding her upset and nervous Homelander lifts himself on his elbow taking the werther's candy in hopes it would ease her.

“I’m sorry… sorry that happened to you.” She was struggling to talk– I knew kids who got taken by CPS… it didn’t always seem like a good thing.”

Homelander offered a sad smile that made for poor comfort.

“Is okay is all behind… I… I am just glad your mother never came back… because they would have done that to you.”

She looked confused, urging him to explain without words.

“Come ‘ere.” He fixed himself back upright, gluing himself to the wall to give her space, Helena dropped her backpack and hopped on the bed, finding it to be tight squeeze– your mother didn’t tell you just how special you and Ryan are. How much more special you two are even more than me… maybe.”

The girl gave him all the answers he needed in those big befuddled eyes.

“You and Ryan are the first natural born supes… Ryan’s mother came back when Ryan began to show powers while pregnant– so they locked her in a house like this. Ryan lived in a whole compound of fake houses and fake neighbors… a fantasy prison– and that was the “nice” place! Your mother was lucky, they would have taken you and put you in the same place they put me.” 

Speaking as if nothing was loaded, Helena scrunched the blanket under her hand, wanting to argue with him, yet if this was all true… she couldn’t blame him for being maladjusted.

He looked at the nightstand and the book next to the blue plastic lamp, taking in his hands.

“You like Dr. Seuss?”

Helena shook her head.

“Never read it. Mom got me too many books growing up, maybe we never got around them… and by the time I could walk to the Library I just skipped the kids section… as pretentious as that sounds.” She followed his hand as he trapped her in between his arm and his chest, but she wasn’t scared, this was normal for parents to do, even if he was still somewhat alien to her– I don’t think I was lucky.”

“You seen what they do in the labs… they would’ve done that to you, mayhaps.” He opened the book ‘If I ran the zoo’-- When I was small I had a stutter and they would…” he paused, biting his tongue slightly as it sat uncomfortably in his mouth– I would have to read a lot of silly rhyme books. Dr. Seuss was my favorite. I always wanted to met these stupid critters but turns out they weren’t real.”

There was a fondness in the way he held this book, his thumb rubbing on the spine, pressing the worn creases, tracing marks and straightening blunt tips– the copy was well loved, scratched beyond repair at the corners, and the spine so creased some white seep from the cracks as it threatened to rip apart.

“So I was born with my powers then… I can see why they would do such a thing to Ryan.”

“I think if Becca was around… she would have preferred it if she kept him to herself in the first place, maybe make her husband think the kid was his.” He looked down at the mop of black hair, expecting to see you but finding her instead, his eyes widen hoping the kid wouldn’t have a snappy comeback or grow uncomfortable but Helena just flicked to the next page reading the short verses, admiring the drawing of an elephant cat with a little smile– you don’t mind being born with powers?”

“It’s awesome to have powers. You want me to be all sappy and act like having them makes my life worse? Does it suck sometimes– yes.” She pauses, flattening an edge that had been used to bookmark too many times–  I’m different even amongst supes… but If I didn’t have powers then… I would be useless– I would make mom’s life harder. But I am great.”

Homelander felt the candy pressed tightly in his glove.

“I don’t think your mother would ever think that of you…”

“I dunno.” Her cheek rubbed on his suit, her voice so quiet as she went to the next page– sometimes… I don’t think she likes me very much… but sometimes she obviously does…”

“Helena…” His face hurt as he tried to speak but found himself unable to say another word, his jaw dislodging but his tongue sat dry in his mouth. 

“I was two when my powers happened. Mom… Mom managed to get out of the shelter and we moved to a long hallway with a bed and stuff on the walls– it was super cheap and it was better... I lived there until well… I broke a wall… then it was back to the shelter and then people’s houses and grandparents… When I was five we got that apartment and by then I realized I was allergic to dogs so I didn't need to be afraid of my nose anymore… no more broken stuff…”

“Those were accidents!” his voice almost broke, a seething rage tried to burst out of him as his eyes took a new shade of red, faceless bodies lingered on his thoughts wishing to justly harm them– all of that… that wasn’t you.”

“Tell that to my grandma after I broke their staircase.” She sulked in her spot– and the wall attached to it.”

Homelander could only cuddle her, wishing he could comfort her as easily it had been with Ryan. His son had desperately needed affirmations, needed to be provided with love and understanding– but this one saw everything far too maturely for him to help, he felt. 

“You can break stuff now… I’ll clean it up and I won’t get mad at you.”

“Thanks…?” That sounded grim coming out of his mouth but she wanted to hear it, as silly as it was, she nuzzled his side trying to crawl higher following his feathery fingers– By the way… why is this your favorite place? Like this is just a film set to make you look so cornbread american it hurts… I guess people knowing you’re an orphan didn’t sit well with test groups.”

“Is not. I fucking hate it… but sometimes I like to think what it would’ve been like if i grew up in a place like this. I don’t own much… I have a cabin but I don’t go there anymore… no home for me… just houses.” He flicked the page giggling at the silly drawing of weird animals– my favorite place in the whole world is right here.”

She expects him to point at anything, but he doesn’t for he’s just looking at her with sleepy eyes.

“I love you Helena. I really do.”

Her eyes blinked and blipped, as she hugged him back… with only one arm, it felt like the correct thing to do, Helena could see herself much younger, inside that small apartment while the neighbor is being loud, there she was sharing headphones with you, playing a movie on your old laptop, she hugged your torso with those short chubby arms that always felt so light to you, and her face resting on your chest, she remembered the weight of your chin and the lull of your breathing… her father was a slow breather making her sleepy.

“My favorite place in the world it’s Rolling’s Hills Asylum– I saw a ghost there once."

“Ghost aren’t real” He tried not to laugh at her beaming eyes.

“You shoot lasers out of your ass but ghosts are too far-fetched? Really?” she was genuinely offended– ridiculous.”

He had a hearty laugh regardless, he closed the book giving her head a peck, taking the moment to smell her hair, to enjoy the sound of her heartbeat and the blood coursing through her veins, hearing the current glad that it continued to run, seemingly never ending as it should be.

“Okay…Okay…” He lets her take the book off his hands, clearly miffed that he wouldn’t let her finish, he swallows– You know why I brought you here?”

“No.”

“I always wanted to know what it would be like to have a family in a home like this… having Ryan in the tower was the closest thing to that but now there’s you and your mother so I want to know if you’re okay with me moving in…? I started looking at houses but your mother is difficult… and there’s my penthouse which… I don’t know if it’s ideal.”

Helena had to fake ignorance, partially aware of what stresses you were putting yourself into. Sure neither of you had discussed this move somehow.

Your daughter straightens herself clutching the little book tight against herself, thinking of the dusty air in the room and the fake planes above her head covered in cobwebs.

“Move in with us…? I don’t think mom would like to live in the tower. I certainly wouldn’t… Is weird living where I work… great for saving on travel expenses, just… not a pleasant idea… just ‘cuz you helped me with Elmo– I’ll help you out with mom. It was sad without him around, somehow.”

Helena buried her face under the book, feeling as if she had betrayed you but she had to win him over… for you, she had to succeed, she had to do everything she could to not fuck this up.

Her heart thumped so loudly it was deafening, as she accepted her actions.

“Do you like Elmo?” Homelander turned pale, his nose tickled by a cocktail of emotional conditions.

“Huh?” She blinked thrice as her face twisted to face him– he is my friend… you’re supposed to like your friends.”

“Just as friends, right?” He tried to force an uncomfortable light laugh.

“Oh…” She blushed then frowned– I am seven!! Jesus you’re being gross, dad!!” She jumped out of the bed–  Elmo is my dog.” she said loudly.

Homelander wished he didn’t hear your voice just then, he buried his face in the pillow praying that the kid didn’t understand just how grim her words were, but mostly disgusted at himself… Why he had to say that? Was he jealous of a toddler!?.

“If you want to hit me please do so.”

“How hard?” She scowled, repulsed unknowingly by her father's misplaced jealousy, she wanted to hit him regardless.

“Your hardest.” He mumbled.

“I would break the wall.”

“Go for it.” he lifted a thumb up

A hundred or so meters later, and a tree branch jammed under his arm tearing his cape, he looked up spitting grass and dirt, the sky so obnoxiously blue.

He lifted himself slightly but not all the way with a slight groan, witnessing the hole on the side of the house and the torn down tree he had taken with himself, Helena jumped out the caveat floating towards him.

“Are you hurt?”

He lifted his fist still clutching on that wrapped piece of candy as she made her way towards him, struggling to unwrap it, glad when it was freed, the smell sweet and warm but tame compared to other crimes, shoving it in his mouth, allowing the caramel to melt in his tongue, he took a deep breath.

“Oh shit did I actually hurt you!?” With a pop Helena landed near him, jumping on her knees towards him, throwing her backpack to the side as her father just stared at the sky– you aren’t bleeding. Thank god…Good.”

“I’m fine, just surprised… By the way” he sat straight, his head lolling back and his mouth sucking loudly on his treat, he looks back at her once more smiling trying to appear completely fine not wanting his daughter to get more worried, fixated on the little red in her eyes– thank you for not hesitating.”

She sniffled a little.

“You’re so weird.”

“You can’t talk either, princess… I think I know how you can help me with your mom” She moved to remove a twig off his hair which somehow had stayed mostly in place– I want to organize a playdate for you. Get her to agree.”

She nodded, twirling the twig in her hand.

Homelander had one look at the broken house, and the torn down tree whose roots rained dirt– and scorched it. The cinder brought it down, Helena watched the bonfire and the billowing dust clouds, just flinching at the sudden burst of light, but as her sight caught on what was happening, she calmed down, drawn to the sight of flames, amused at how natural and flexible his lasers were, envious that she was lacking of them, angry that she was.

“Can we go get bagels?” She sniffed the smoke– I'm hungry…”

The two tried their best to eat while being gawked at– him more amazed about how much she could fit in her mouth– albeit with some reserved revultion. One hand held an egg bagel with cannoli cream cheese, while the other put a plain one with far too much smoked salmon and bacon cream cheese in his mind.

He watched her as she rotated the flavors, disturbed by her half chews in between to mix them in her cheeks.

She lifted her hand offering a bite of the salmon monstrosity.

“Is okay, I got my own…” She frowned, staring at the barely touched toasted bagel with nothing but a sliver of lox spread, Homelander looked away, not wanting to see her chewed up sandwich, considering leaving briefly then coming back to pick her up, but she insisted– "you want me to try?”

She nodded furiously trying to swallow fast enough.

He leaned down trying to ignore the camera recording behind him, taking a small morsel that seemed to satisfy the girl.

“yummy.”He was forced to look glad as he swallowed.

She looked at his with anticipation, unsure of what to do. he relented yet again.

“Cappers suck.” she regretted her bite instantly, swallowing forcefully.

“I’ll admit– not a fan of them, either.” 

He wouldn’t touch his food content to just watch her guzzle her meal and drown it with his coffee.

He looked at the clock on the store’s wall knowing it was almost time to pick up Ryan, the flight home was slower than he preferred but he hadn’t minded for Helena seemed to withstand this speed a lot better.

“Hey… not to worry or anything but… you did… you did sign me out of school, right?” her voice was filled with anxiety.

“What do you mean?”

As she looked at the high rises around her, she looked at her phone and the 54 missed calls from you.

“Did you tell mom, you were picking me up, right?” She cringed as the phone rang and her battery drained a little further– right!!?”

“No, why?”

“You might wanna park for a second, dude.”

Homelander begrudgingly agreed, putting the bubble down on top of the nearest silver roof.

“Who died?” Helena said.

“WHERE ARE YOU!!!???” your voice might’ve broken the speaker if it went up one more decibel– are you o-okay!? Helena, please tell me where are you!!? Please tell me you’re safe!!” Your voice was cracked and hoarse.

“I’m fine. wha…”

“Okay honey, baby, am going to… oh my god… I got this call from the school and there’s these cops and Ashley trying to find you, baby! Where are you!?”

“Cops…?” Homelander asked, trying to look for strange sounds in the distance.

“Please honey.”

She looked at her father while you frantically spoke to some unseen stranger, covering the mouthpiece.

“You fucking clown. You’re so going to owe me… like… you have no idea what you gonna make me do, you owe me.”

“Why are the cops involved?” he ignored her overtly aggressive tone for the moment.

“You kidnapped me!!! The Homelander’s daughter just got kidnapped of course they would call the cops!! They would call the cops for any kid who just vanishes from school you idiot!! That’s why you tell people!!”

“I need permission to pick up my own kid from school!!?”

“Yes!!” She took the phone to her ear– mom… I just ditched school. I was bored… am in” Helena looked around– Harlem.” Her voice monotone as she shot daggers at her father– I… I am sorry.”

“Helena… okay… okay am… am gonna see if I can get your father… he’s been on some mission but I… I dunno… am just so glad you’re okay, baby. I swear you’re not in trouble.” You cry and mumble towards an unseen and unheard strangers– okay baby they’re gonna track your phone and send somebody to pick you up…”

“Is not necessary. I’ll just float there…” 

“Helena what’s wrong?” Your heart breaks as her voice is so cold, more performative than her usual tone.

“I’m embarrassed… I… I didn’t think… sorry. I’ll get there…” her voice is jittery, her nerves infect you as if something unseen its making her feel like this, hitting you how powerless you were as the line died mid vowel.

She hung, staring at the screen.

“Write your alibi.”

“Why… why did you do that?”

“Because you’ll get in trouble.” She said sternly– next time just text mom before you do anything… how would you feel if mom took Ryan and didn’t tell you? or the school?”

As she walked towards the ledge, she turned to face her father, whose ears had just begun to pick up on the extra bustling happening nearby, like incoming mosquitos in the room.

“I forgot to tell you… but there’s this man called William… William Butcher and he wants me dead. Your mother thought he might do something against you” He bit his lips– that’s probably why she’s so upset and why that helicopter it’s heading towards Harlem.”

He pointed to the east but her sight didn’t pick up anything abnormal.

“I want to go to Disneyland.” She put her phone back in her backpack– and we are gonna do the queues, and you’re gonna eat those disgusting turkey legs on that sweltering california heat and you'll not complain– now this is what its gonna happen you’re gonna pick me up, I’ll pretend to have some sort of depressive episode that caused me to just fuck off scaring everybody and I called you to pick me up just now… your phone was on mute and you just notice, good?”

“Is it really that bad?” He found everything an absolutely ridiculous overreaction– am your dad, you were safe.”

“Today never happened. Or we both are screwed. Trust me it's that bad.”

Arriving at the school in her father’s arms, two police officers awaited for her arrival alongside yourself, a man with a Vought badge was bickering on the phone a few meters away aswell.

“Look who I found.” Homelander was quick to sell it at the sight of palpable distress, you ran towards Helena ripping her off his hands.

Even Ryan had been brought seemingly questioned about where his sister might’ve been.

The collar of his suit never felt so tight before, as it did just then.

Arriving at the home, she was sentence to a month of house arrest– no Vought labs or any unsupervised activities, lucky to just get the one week suspension for skipping school and not worse, Homelander thankfully had smooth things out with the police who almost shouted an amber alert after seeing Vought lose their minds… which necessitated a meeting afterwards, Homelander couldn’t fault Ashley for her panic attack after hearing the news and finding him awol, he was instead glad to see her lenghts of her dedication to him.

“I think we should also go to all the theme parks.” She grumbled putting her kindle down.

The clock reading past midnight.

“Everything is an opportunity to learn, no?” Homelander enter through the glass door, making sure to keep an eye on you as you sleep poorly– hope this makes you feel better.”

He took a yellow envelope from behind his back, it was thin and had a small pink bow, Helena ripped it off his hands, staring back at him as she ripped the glued seal off, the thin paper made her frown dissipate as her eyes digested the present.

“You’re gifting me Vought Stock?” She stares at the document as her mouth drops slightly.

"I have money to spare… perks of being the top dog for over twenty years– I get money from merch and films too, y’know.”

“These are over seventeen-hundred a pop.” She looked back at her father, and suddenly the man appeared  alien to her, he was a different breed indeed– are you sure? Is a lot of money”

“I barely do anything with it. I… I think by the time you’re 18 you could use the money you made from those to get yourself your own big girl seat with the shareholders.” He looks around her room, at the bare walls feeling uneasy, his eyes fixate on the picture of a stranger’s cat wearing a witch’s hat taken in what he could only guess was a dining room– still haven’t sorted the will situation, but don’t worry about money at all. Once I marry your mother it would all have been be dealt with.”

Homelander sat on her desk, leaning his behind on the wooden surface.

“We’re still going to disneyland” Homelander curses internally trying to not look like he was dying– could’ve just gotten me a squishmellow tho.” 

“Do I have to eat the turkey leg…?”

“Yes.”

“Please don’t do this to me” he half-jokingly begs.

“I feel nothing.”

Pouting like a kid, he looks to the ground feeling defeated, looking around, catching your snoozes in the backdrop, you had been so stressed you virtually passed out the moment your head touched the pillow, ypu had been arguing with him about never ever putting his phone on mute again, making him do the rounds of apology about Helena’s behaviour with both Vought, the local police and the school alongside you.

Homelander had grown guilty after seeing just how concerned Ryan had become over the ordeal while watching you comfort him, while your daughter got the talk from the uniformed men and the dean.

Yet you had gone out of your way to call him before bed.

“Your mom said I could visit while you’re grounded… she said you invited me for dinner…”

“Oh it's ‘cuz I told her that she should build a room for Ryan in the empty office so you guys can stay over. You’re engaged. It's weird to live separately but… baby-steps so the kid doesn’t get stressed too much, I mean your last girlfriend was a lunatic.”

“Starlight did turn out to be a loonie.”

“I meant Stormfront…”

“I didn’t know who she was…I was just a man who–

“There’s no cameras here my brother is christ– just one look at her records in Portland, and you would’ve noticed a pattern.”

“I just thought she would get over it after she realized I don’t care… like… am better than humans, we are better than humans… Don’t know why she grouped herself with them.” He scoffed.

“How supportive of you– pretending to care about her interest for pussy… what a chad move.” she scoffed putting the present on her nightstand– Mom did warn me about boys like you.”

“How do you know what tha– and what??”

“I’m in the tenth grade. Surrounded by 16 year olds. I’ve been mentally compromised– either way mom and I are gonna go to buy furniture for his bedroom tomorrow. Thank me later.”

She moved to her bed, pushing her few plush toys to the ground.

“By the way… what’s that playdate you had in mind?” her finger hovered on top of the lamp’s switch.

“They want Phantasma and Poltergeist as the new heads of Teenage Kix for when you’re older and ready. I think that’s too small… the name its too loaded, too many fuck ups after that second gen, b.s.” He stares at her and sees a brilliant future, hearing the chanting of adoring fans screaming for his children’s attention– they want to use that platform to launch our real international program… countries have been in bidding wars for the last couple months to have the first overseas hero program… So far only Japan, France, Brazil and Singapore have successfully been approved for the program. We have a couple open slots… lots of offers from India and the UK.  I want you to head that program– Ryan is great… he’ll lead this nation as their top hero but you– it would be too small for a brain like yours… I was thinking “The Watch” for a name. Catchy, no? Thought you might want to meet your future team-mates... they are a little older than you but...``

“I think I can get mom behind. Either way I should go to bed."

She said nervously.

Homelander smiled moving towards her to tuck her for the night, giving her a good night kiss as he turned the light’s off.

“Wait!”

He turned in a panic, his hand already on the door handle.

“...” She dug on her nightstand cabinet pulling out that Dr. Seuss book– we… we didn’t finish it… would you read it for me?”

Homelander had never seen the dark be so vibrant before, he sat on her bed taking the thin booklet in his hand before clearing his throat.

“I won’t do any funny voice so don’t worry.”

“Is okay if you want to…”

A smile melted into his face.

She watched his shape disappear, that night she dreamt of endless camera flashes.

As the weeks built up, Helena found herself spending more and more time with the other half of her family.

She had helped build the guest room, picking toys and wallpaper and her brother was appreciative.

Watching from a distance while next to him, no matter how much she looked at him she had little desire to interact with him on her own accord, the more she watched you try to sweeten him up, making him ziti and taking him out… the more bitter aftertaste his name left on her tongue.

Ryan was an easy child, painfully normal, nothing special if he hadn’t come pre-packed with superpowers… powers just like their father… he could fly, had laser vision, super strength and durability, and super senses… eyes just as blue, so much like their father. 

So boring… just a copy, no? she kept thinking.

Where was his spark? Where was the zest?

What made him actually special and great?

All he did was be cute, play with his toys and bore her to death. Talking to him was just a chore, nothing different from speaking to the average civilian., these thoughts plagued her mind.

As they sat together at the dining table, she looked at you then at her father and wondered just how much of a nuisance this kid would be for her future… she thought of her father’s vision…“The Watch” trying to decipher what could he possibly have set up for Ryan. The Seven? Really that’s all? Just a face in a lunchbox and nothing else… how quaint, she thought.

With every bite and sauce stain on her napkin, her anxiety took all the flavor from her meal… he was a threat… she thought of the unsorted will situation, no doubt still failing to include her– stocks could open doors to financial stability in the case her father died or lost his position, or you fucked it up with him… but it wasn’t a fraction of what he would leave Ryan, of the safety net underneath him.

But above all as she thought of the large behemoth on New York city skylines waiting for her... he could not stand in her way to take the kingdom.

Kingslayer. 

She could live with that… all the greats had done it… a sibling, a son, an uncle and father decapitated here and there, it be easier if she could shave his head and send it to a monastery to live as an eunuch… to kill the competition earlier on was easy that a drawn out battle killing thousands– butcher him as cleanly as she could.

Why would he miss him, anyhoo? Who would miss him? He had nothing… no mom and a finicky father, just a name that could slip thru the cracks, Helena thought.

She giggled at his joke, sat by his side as they watched a movie after dinner, shared her popcorn and said nothing when you offered your lap to let him rest, said nothing as you brushed his hair with your fingers.

Butcher… the moment ceases to play in her mind, her eyes seeing floating words cover the whole living room– a simple slip up from Homelander… William Butcher… Ryan had been Ryan Butcher once according to his file at work… who was Becca Saunders? She had only ogled the file for the briefest second… he had said it back at the house… passed him as her husband’s kid… who was this William that was so dangerous his name was comically apt. and how much did his wife dissapearance had affected him.

She would keep it in her back pocket.

So here she was on her way to a class field trip to the Smithsonian, her father and two other chaperoned the class, gawking at his recently retouched roots from her seat, more than looking out the passenger window, a girl sat on her side texting to her friends, there was a buzz in the bus as the teenagers came to realize Homelander of all people had come to chaperone their excursion, one of the moms had wasted no time trying to befriend the Supe, her social skills enviable as she chatted him up with ease… already trading baby photos, and asking him about his skincare routine complaining about how dry her skin got around this time of year, and other banalities.

The trip was everything she had expected– except for Homelander becoming an impromptu tour guide, going on a rather in-depth discussion on great American mammals, and the tragedy of the American buffalo with the tour guide.

Helena had gotten excited at the marine exhibitions which thankfully some kids found her explanation interesting, Homelander was proud to see her and two kids discuss whales. On the other end of the spectrum there was her father doing his best to contain his excitement at the sight of Theodore Roosevelt… The man had an encyclopedic knowledge of American presidents and their achievements. One would think he was staring at some invisible monitor feeding him information– regardless there was something sweet as he sat Helena next to the bronze statue of Theodore for a picture, turning the camera quickly on himself, that the other parents noticed, the chatty mom finding it beyond adorable, reminding her of her own little boy.

As the classrooms took a second to relax and have lunch, she saw no alternative but to sit next to him.

“Do you have an earpiece or something?” 

“What? I can’t know stuff?” He scoffed sipping briefly on his coffee.

“Just thought your interior designer just put those president portraits in your house for the bit… like that poster in your bedroom.”

“I like history.” he mumbled, looking a tad shy to admit it, as if it was some dirty secret– am I embarrassing you?”

“No…? I’ve never seen you this excited before.” He blushed, glad that it wasn’t anything bad.

That smile would fade away as they headed to one of the final exhibitions… “American Super” a new exhibition focused on… you guessed it… Superheroes. 

This was a collection of Vought’s finest, hero suits adorning the way in their glass cases, as pretty text explained the inspirations and significance of the suit’s symbolism and how it represented the ideas and personalities of their heroes, on the evolution on textile engineering and how superhero suits helped pave ways of innovation, it was decades of Vought culminating on ‘The Seven’ and some of Goldolkin’s promising students– there was something grim at the sight of his own suit inside a box.

“Where the fuck did they get the red cape from?” He mumbles, the tour guide turned to him to explain, which did not make him feel any less queasy.

“Wow… he isn’t just a massive nerd but also had to be here to show off? pathetic.”

Helena stared at the girl who had whispered towards her friends, them chortling together.

As the tour continued, the man considered briefly murdering the girl, thinking of how easy he could make it look like an accident, he knew her name and address after all– disposing of her should be easy.

His mood soured and his build-up of excitement had completely vanished, picking on every snide and mock comment from the group, spouting the same bullshit of your everyday Starlight supporter– it had been at the mention of his complicitess on those Maeve’s conspiracies where he had grown visibly irked, and unable to hide it.

“You can’t touch them.” Helena tugged on his sleeve pointing at his face– Your eyes…”

“Is okay they’re just stupid children who stare at their phones for too long.” He looked at the bust of Translucent thinking of how they got his hairline wrong– "I wouldn't have come if I knew this was on…”

“Really you didn’t want to see another 1:1 recreation of your childhood bedroom.”

“I want to go home.” He cried as they followed the tour guide, they stopped to ask about the room with excitement which he easily matched after years of selling himself so cheaply– it’s like they picked it up and just dropped it here.”

Both noted how even the carved rabbit bookend was present on this bookshelf.

As they headed for departure, Helena hurried up the stairs catching the girls behind her, she gave her father a cheeky look, pursing her lips behind her finger, flinging her arm absetmindledly as he raised a solitary eyebrow… All there was was the sound of bodies crashing and crying.

A shattered bone, and whining.

He smiled just for her.

And she smiled just for him, before running towards him pretending to have been frightened by the sound, as a crowd built itself and a teacher rushed towards the commotion.

“I think she dances or something… not with that knee anymore.” She whispered into his chest.

“Thank you.” he whispered in her ear, holding her tightly before leaving for superhero duty.

It had to add a line on the tally, no?

Taglist-- @immyowndefender @demodemo909 @fromforeigntofamiliarity @ghqstfqce

apologies for lenghts but hope y'all like it

#personal #homelander #Homelander x reader #homelander x you #the boys oc characther #homelander fanfiction #the boys fanfiction #I am ESL sorry for spelling errors #apologies for the lenght again. #i think this was like 30 pages long but i got in the flow when i wrote this 2 wks ago #also i never been to american school but i swear i heard kids dont have recess after a certain age but we do have that in australia even #for senior HS so am basing a few things on aus school practices

[stxrrynightc]

closed starter - @writermuses Tanner's morning unfurled with the playful romp of muddy puppy paws and the rhythmic cadence of doggy strolls. He led the local rescues on a spirited run, his every step a testament to his dedication to their well-being. Upon their return, amidst a backdrop of wagging tails and grateful barks, he engaged in a discussion with shelter staff, brainstorming ways to commemorate the shelter's anniversary.

Undeterred by the unconventional nature of his request, venturing through the bustling streets and quaint corners of the town. Traversing through four bakeries and two restaurants. Finally, as he saw his last potential venue.

As Tanner stepped into his final sanctuary, a small bell chimed, heralding his arrival. "Good day, darlin'," his rustic Southern accent resonated through the air like the deep roots of a Georgia pine. Leaning against the worn counter, he presented his request with a twinkle in his eye and a smile as sweet as molasses. "I've got a bit of an unusual request—think your kitchen could conjure up some puppy cookies or cakes? Not too particular about the details, as long as they're fit for our furry friends," Tanner inquired, his smile as sweet as the confections he sought, hopeful for a positive response.

#// dear god #// no need to match lenght #im so sorry hahaha #writermuses #[ tanner convo ] #[ tanner starter ] #[ tanner test ]

[drawnaghht]

also, look forward to me posting smth reference material related abt Yuichi's outfit in the show specifically (if you've been wondering why it's a dark blue and if it's based on a farm outfit or something else)

I went to a Kendo demonstration last weekend at the anime con I was at and got the reminder that Yuichi's lapels specifically must be made of some thicker material, like something woven and woolen.

like this Keikogi / training uniform

so this is part of a Kendo outfit and it was very interesting seeing the demonstrators wearing these up-close.

Taken from the ShidokanMontreal site which I found with a very nice explanation:

Keikogi (稽古着 or 稽古衣) or dōgi (道着)

Keikogi (稽古着 or 稽古衣) or dōgi (道着) is a uniform for training, used in martial arts derived from Japan, or budo. (keiko means practice, gi means dress or clothes). In english, the term keikogi is sometimes referred to simply as the gi, which would be an incorrect use of the word in Japanese. Often keiko is replaced with the name of the Japanese Martial Art being practiced.

They say that indigo has sterilizing properties and a hemostatic effect. This is why working clothes in Japan were traditionally dyed with indigo.

I've been curious about this forever and have been wanting to make a reference post but wasn't sure where to look since my image searches before weren't yielding any good results (I might have been looking for edo-period inspirations too closely)

So this isn't a reference post, just a reminder for myself (the con was TIRING and i still feel like recovering from it) and also me only looking up a few online references that I might change later on.

Anyways, interesting! this means that in addition to possibly being farming outfit which doubled as training outfit, it's meant to keep the blood from injuries in or at least keep them from being infected because of its indigo coloring (hence, hemostatic). we don't know if this is actually the case for his outfit in the series specifically, but I am guessing they took inspiration from kendo and farmer outfits and that is also where the blue comes from.

he seems to have some sort of padding or wooden/leather chest guard, (which I'm sure has some sort of research behind it but I'm having a hard time finding anything), but it's pretty obvious that it's meant as a leather/wood guard. From the same material, we see some smaller shoulder guards or something sturdy to keep his vest sleeve/shoulder in form, when you see shots of him moving his arms, you see also how the wooden pieces are attached to his vest rather than his sleeves. but I'll get to these parts later in detail once I've done more research. It think it's pretty easy to draw tho if you look at the details.

Anyway, in closing, seems like kendo/general budo/farming outfits were a larger inspiration here. This is incomplete and not a reference post, so I hope when I dive deeper, I'll find more.... or someone else with a larger pool of knowledge on japanese culture and garments will comment on this one day to correct me x3 I'm not an expert on japanese clothing and have not seen them much aside from manga I used to read as a child or anime I watched as a teen, so this has been really interesting to look into.

#yuichi usagi #usagi chronicles #samurai rabbit the usagi chronicles #aghht srtuc posts #sorry for the lenght but tumblr cut my previous version so im not taking changes here #not reference post

[soov-archived]

hi rei! can you give me tips on how to write like you and improve my vocabulary? please i badly wanna write so good like you 😭😭😭😭

HELLO ANON!!!!! dhdhkf thank you sm 😿 that's such a huge compliment, tyvm!! <3

i'm not the best person to ask something like that bc even tho i've been speaking english since i was born, i still don't feel like my english is the best ?? ANW i'm not a pro writer but here are the tips that i use 😻😻

⠀⠀⠀★

i really like using synonyms instead of the word i first thought of when writing!!

for example, if i was gonna write “he likes champagne”, i change it to “he adores champagne”, or even something a bit more fancy (?) like “he relishes the champagne's bitter taste” (THAT SUCKED IM SORRYBUT YKWIM). when i do that i feel like my writing gets richer / better in some sense.

i don't like to keep repeating words or the same sentence structure, but i frequently can't jump out of it by myself. so what i do is search up “sentence starters” when i'm REALLY stuck and can't move on with my scene.

dictionaries (online or physical) are absolute LIFESAVERS !!! they normally have synonyms for the words so 🙏🙏 they're a blessing when you don't want to keep repeating the same thing over and over :)) this site is also amazing for adjective synonyms <3

⠀⠀⠀★

i also like putting details in the work instead of letting the whole thing plain...

...but sometimes i struggle with these details. like i tried to show in the first tip, it's cooler if you try to add things related to the five senses instead of only vision and audition (at least from my point of view).

like, when you're talking to someone, you're not only seeing their face and listening to them. depending on the environment, you're also smelling scents, feeling things w your hands or pain in your body, tasting something, or even thinking about a different thing that's not what your companion is talking about. these feelings also help to make the text richer!!

for example, imagine that two people are walking around the city and talking about pancakes (?), and the details are in bold :)

“pancakes with maple syrup are awful,” mary cringes, stuffing her left pocket with her manicured hand. “how can people enjoy it?”

daniel nods fervently. “exactly my thoughts!”

his knees falter, limbs burning after walking for three hours incessantly. daniel ponders for a minute while his friend keeps babbling, and his stomach rumbles. “yeah, but seriously, i'd eat a pile of pancakes with syrup right now if i could. i'm starving to death here.”

see ?? if you removed them, the text would still be good, but the details help the reader (and you) to imagine the scene more clearly.

OH but if you're struggling w them like i said i do sometimes, don't get attached to these details. in other words, don't stop or get stuck in a scene simply because you can't put loooots of small things. you don't need to overdo it. keep writing fun by making it enjoyable to you.

⠀⠀⠀★

talking about writing being enjoyable...

don't compare your writing to other person's writing and enjoy the process!!

what you do is unique and amazing. a thing that i learned here on tumblr is that there are times when you hate your writing, but lots of people enjoy it. 85% of the time i post a work that i despised, and think that i could do better. but when i see comments or reblogs w feedback i feel extremely happy because ppl liked it :)

+ even if you don't get a lot of feedback, don't think that your writing is bad, because it's not. every single writer in this world is still learning how to write. and don't write for the others, but firstly, write to yourself. try out new things or stay in your comfort zone, you don't need to make anyone happy but yourself, okay?

+ don't compare the amount of words you write with the others or things like that. i see lots of authors putting word trackers for their fics, and that's not wrong in any way but v cool!!! but if you feel pressured by those because your fic is not being written with the same pace that the other person, ignore it! write things on your own time.

⠀⠀

now, the not too enjoyable part

always plan your work before writing it !!!!!!!

yes, it sucks. yes, it is boring as hell. but at least have an outline (it can be a veeery big one) for your work. if you're feeling inspired, just go brainstorming ideas messily, and then sort their order out.

like, you can just write “they meet each other at X place, they become friends, they discover something about the other's past, they fight, they make up, end.”, or make it v detailed w dialogues and other things. you can make a simplified outline and write more ideas for the scenes as time goes by!!

i follow the “introduction > development > climax > ending” pattern. obviously, you don't need to follow it too or write an even amount of paragraphs for each one. again, writing should be fun, so make it fun!

⠀⠀⠀★

this tip is related to planning so :) yea

when you're writing a scene but can't go on, move to the next scene

even if you planned it out detail to detail, you may not get to write the moment exactly like you wanted every time. when this happens, it's better that you move on to the next one that you really wanted to write, and let the other to rot LMAO. just get back to writing it when you feel like you're ready, and try to not pressure yourself to write it or listen to anyone who might be pressuring you!

⠀⠀⠀★

last tip (?) more like a personal opinion.

i don't like to read other people's works to get inspiration from them / observe how they write. it just doesn't work for me because i feel like i don't get any inspiration at all or improve my vocabulary because of that (i still love to read tho 😿😿). plus, i think that getting inspiration from a fixed person might result on you subconsciously copying them once in a while, that's why i never read analyzing anyone's writing.

if it works for you though, do read lots of works while observing the author's mannerisms and things like that!

but however howbeit nonetheless yet anyway anyhow ‼️‼️ read a lot, even if you take or not inspiration from other works. it's important to always consume content to help your creativity flow better :D

oh and random fact ? but i revise my works on grammarly so it might help you too if you don't have a beta reader !!

again, i'm not a professional! these are the things i do when writing, and i hope they'll help you too!!! <3

#✶ ─ inbox. #✸ ─ anons. #I HOPE THIS HELPED ANON !! #im sorry for the lenght but 😿😿 yea

[watercolor-hearts]

It's really strange for me that I don't feel that sad about the news and the fact that it's almost sure Daniel won't have a seat next year. I thought it would make depressed but it seems like it doesn't.

I was preparing myself for this and I think it was a good thing to do. I'm not saying I'm happy for the news, but it's so bad to see him not perform as he used to and being broken down, I think it's better for him to have a break and maybe be a reserve driver or anything he wants to be.

I choose happy and mentally healthy non-F1 driver Daniel over sad and broken F1 driver Daniel.

Also, a side note: I think the fact that Nyck probably has a seat helps me with this situation, because after his result in Monza I started to like him and I hoped for a seat for him in case Daniel won't have one. Nyck seems to be sympathetic and I feel like he can save me from being down (because of Daniel won't be there).

#now I see Grammarly was right about the lenght of my sentences #they really are wayyy longer than the average #sorry about it #it's because of Hungarian sentence logic #we express the same things way shorter in Hungarian than how the English langue does it #and my Hungarian thinking is mixed up with the English and it results in looong and strange sentences 😂 #formula 1 #daniel ricciardo #nyck de vries