#spiralling over all the kdrama

[filthy-mudeoki]

Welcome! 🫰🏼

(ToTNT, Hidden love, Doom at your service, Vincenzo, Business Proposal)

I started watching kdramas not to long ago and decided my love for them had to be shared. I am a fanfic writer so my asks are always open whether it be just to scream over the dramas or to suggest prompt/fic ideas. Don't be shy!

I created a playlist on Spotify for all the amazing OST that I've come across when watching theses series. You can find it here.

Below you'll find a list of all the dramas I've watched with its corresponding review and rambles (I'll link them as I upload them). And following that is my watchlist. If you think there is a drama (or movie) that I should add to the list, please let me know.

Watched kdramas:

Alchemy of souls (Part I and II)

What's wrong with secretary Kim?

Business proposal (one of the best romcoms)

Guardian: the lonely and great god (An absolute classic)

Tale of the nine tailed

Vincenzo

Extraordinary Attorney Woo

Crashing landing on you

The K2

The King: Eternal Monarch

Healer

Hometown Cha-cha-cha

W - Two worlds

While you were sleeping

True beauty

Doctor Stranger (on hold)

King the land

Doom at your service (My all time fave romance story)

Big Mouth

Dr. Romantic 2

Dr. Romantic 3

It's okay to not be okay

Cinderella and four knights

Hidden love (technically a cdrama but it goes to the very top of the must watch list)

Forever love 2023

Strong girl Bong-soon

My lovely liar

Destined with you (on-going)

Currently watching:

Strong girl Nam-soon

The love you give me

My Happy Marriage (Anime)

Dr. Romantic 3

Tomorrow (On hiatus - this one has some serious triggers)

Shooting star (on hiatus)

To watch:

Island

Bloodhounds

Weightlifting fairy Kim Bok Joo

The Uncanny Counter

Café Minamdang

Sound of magic

The Kings Affection

Mr bad

Love o2o

Heartbeat

When I fly towards you

#kdrama #must watch kdrama #tvn netflix #netflix kdrama #netflix korea #kdramadaily #watchlist #kdrama watchlist #add it to the list #review and rambles #spiralling over all the kdrama

[presidenthades]

All those ideas are so good! but my favorite is the cursed Targbros with an immortal life remembering what they could have been and what really was. Especially Aegon, he would probably blame himself for listening to Otto/Alicent and taking the crown and screwing up his life and his brothers'. He really believed for a moment that he was doing this to protect Jace but in the end his war killed her (aaand basically the entire family 😬) and now he can't even follow her into death. You don't have to write it down but can we talk more about that? 🥲 tell us your vision of this universe

I love talking about these things and I’m probably going to talk a little TOO much here but that’s ok 🥲

For what it’s worth, I would like to write this one day, but it would probably be a longfic and I want to focus on completing The Main Timeline before I start working on spinoffs. Modern AU is an exception because it’s a lot more lighthearted, and I can put that out one at a time as shorter fics when I need a break from heavier stuff.

^most iconic shot IMO from the Goblin Kdrama that inspired this idea. I’ll continue my rambling under the cut so I don’t spoil the show for anyone who was thinking of watching it.

Like the show, the fic would be dual timeline with cuts between the medieval Dance era and the modern era. In the modern day, the three Targbros are wandering around in their sad immortal forms. (Helaena’s role TBD, but I like the idea of her being an equivalent of the all-knowing granny in the kdrama.) Some of their memories have been locked away, but they remember enough to know they’re brothers, and their immortality has been given as a punishment. The three of them all have to do stuff that they hate. Aegon, like the kdrama grim reaper, is stuck in the bureaucracy of the afterlife sorting death paperwork. Aemond, like the goblin, has to help people *shudder*. Haven’t figured out Daeron’s job, but it probably involves being mean/violent.

Velaryon girls have been reborn into the modern world without any memories of their past lives. When they all meet, that triggers some of the Targbros’ memories to come back, and the bros freak out as they start to remember all the war crimes, treachery, etc.

Aegon’s past is very similar to the kdrama grim reaper’s backstory. He was a king who listened to bad counsel, which led to him giving the order to execute his beloved wife. Afterwards he felt so guilty that he drank himself to death/was poisoned.

Aemond, like the kdrama’s goblin, killed A LOT of people during his human life. He also caused Luce’s death in this universe’s history, which set off the Dance. He felt guilty but also doubled down on his actions (which I suspect is what Aemond will do in S2?), which led him on a downward spiral of mass violence.

Daeron (who doesn’t have an equivalent in the kdrama) came very close to finding a way to end the Dance without further violence. Joff sneaked over to meet him while he was traveling with the Hightower army to negotiate peace terms. But there was some miscommunication/betrayal (maybe caused by Hugh and Ulf), maybe some accusations of dark sorcery, which led to the army leaders having Joff burned at the stake.

Fast forward to modern day, where the girls (who are reborn as sisters because I don’t wanna keep them apart) are dealing with normal life issues like trying to pay bills, dead-end jobs, etc. Suddenly these three randos show up, acting overly familiar and having very extreme mood swings (because they’re dealing with resourcing memories). And the girls are just like… “They’re hot but they seem kinda crazy, idk. 🤨”

I haven’t really thought of the rest, sorry 😅.

#my writing #ask me anything #hotd fanfic #house of the dragon #hotd fic #hotd #house of the dragon fanfic #goblin au

[icyhottodo]

when we were young | k.bg

genre: angst, fluff, friends-to-lovers-to-strangers  | paring: bakugo x reader, kirishima x reader (platonic)

summary: twelve was the age you started crushing on him, seventeen was the age you broke up with him, and twenty-two was the age you realized you still love him.

warnings: cursing, food, reader goes into a downward spiral, panic attack, jealousy, meanie people, angst ending, a small spoiler (bakugo mentions his work-study), timeskips

wc: 10.5k (half-assed proofread)

nini’s notes: inspired by the kdrama, 2521! but i’ve never watched it before, just some clips. i hope i captured bakugo right… with such an arrogant nature like him is kind of hard to write. i don't mention the quirk that much LMAO. and this is my longest work ever, so i hope you guys will like it!

ever since you turned three, your childhood dream was to be a pro-hero just like every other child. you wanted to be like all might. so you would train day and night, thinking and planning about how to use whatever quirk you would manifest to the fullest. but sadly, your quirk made it not the easiest to be a superhero with, whole-body lenses. which allows you to produce a camera lens anywhere around your body, and you're able to print out whatever you see on your palms. 

you felt discouraged when you gained your quirk. how can you save people with a quirk like this? however, you didn’t entirely give up. you still trained like before you manifested your quirk, if not harder compared to before. by the time you reach middle school, you’ve already found ways to make your quirk useful.

twelve. was when you reached the age where you were able to enter middle school. you’ve transferred from your elementary school to aldera junior high, where you first met the most arrogant person yet, the most attractive person you would have met in your entire life—bakugo katsuki.

your first interaction with the blonde boy did not go well. well, you don't think anyone’s first interaction with him would ever go smoothly.

for instance, your teacher paired both you and bakugo for a poster presentation about pro-heroes you two looked up to. you thought that by pairing up with someone like him, you two would have fun. alas, bakugo would not let a sliver of your opinion show in the writing or the design, greatly disappointing you.

when you insisted on adding something you liked or thought would be better, bakugo would say something along the lines of, "shut up, you extra!"

this made you roll your eyes and say something as ferocious back at bakugo; bakugo's eyes narrowed at you. no one has ever fought back their argument; most of the time they would just let it go or simply not say anything. because of this, it made bakugo curious about you. but, of course, bakugo isn't going to show his interest in you.

"okay then, what do you fuckin’ think we should do?"

bakugo’s sudden cooperation surprised you, and although he didn’t say it nicely, you took it as a win. it made you see him in a different light. but you regained your composure and told the crimson-eyed man what you guys should add.

"i think we should add the past achievements of all might in this box." you pointed to a corner of the poster that contained information about the number one pro-hero.

and soon, the two of you were working on the project until five minutes had passed and the bell rang, indicating that the period was over. while you were cleaning up, bakugo pulled out his hand cockily, looking away at you. you stared at his hand, confused.

"give me your phone, you dumbass," he said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

you made a little oh, pulled out your phone, and gave it to bakugo. then you saw him typing some things before handing the phone back to you.

"my number. my house at 5 pm." once again, you gave him a confused look.

"to work on the project, dumbass, don’t be late." bakugo continued before leaving the classroom.

the school day ended and you were walking through the neighborhoods to meet bakugo for the project. you looked at your phone after hearing your gps say, "you have reached your destination." but you were more confused than ever.

the address that bakugo sent should be around here… you wildly looked around; you don’t know what bakugo’s house looks like. so you weren’t sure which place to knock on.

until you saw a blonde woman with spikey hair walk out of her house, she looked identical to bakugo. you walked up to the front of her house, trying to catch her attention.

"um, excuse me. are you the mother of bakugo?" you asked, internally hoping she was because if she weren’t, that would be extremely embarrassing.

the blonde woman seemed surprised by her facial expression, but her face soon morphed into a smug one.

"yes, i am. are you here to see katsuki?" she asked, her grin slowly getting wider by the second when she sees you nod.

"katsuki!" bakugo’s mother yelled, starting to walk inside. "a special someone is here to see you!"

a few seconds later, you would hear bakugo grumbling. he rubs his left eye as he tiredly walks outside until he sees you, at which point you can physically see him become more awake.

"oh yeah, the project... come inside." bakugo trailed off before turning around even before you could get a word in.

bakugo’s mother unlocked the gate to allow you to walk in with a genuine smile on her face. "welcome! i wish katsuki told me someone as attractive as you were coming over!" his mother commented while she walked inside to put away some stuff that was out of place.

"katsuki’s room is just down the hall to the right. if you need anything, i’ll be here in the living room." mitsuki gestured to the couch, and you noticed the television on; perhaps she was watching tv before going outside and noticing you.

you thanked mitsuki for her hospitality and started walking down to meet bakugo. along the way, you would see picture frames of the bakugo family. you saw a photo of a very young bakugo, most likely aged three to five. when bakugo’s fire quirk was manifested in front of his kindergarten class, you also noticed a green curly-haired boy in the same picture, one of your classmates, midoriya.

you smiled at the photo and then continued walking to find bakugo’s bedroom. when you reached bakugo’s door, you knew automatically by the small all might symbol on his door. you knocked on the door, and you would hear a loud ‘come in, dumbass.’

you opened the door and saw him sitting on his bed. you looked around his room. it looked like any other bedroom, but with hints that it was bakugo’s room. like his all-black clothes closet or the all might mini poster beside his bed and the black sheets.

you pull the poster for your project from your bag and lay the paper on his study desk. you continued to work on the project when bakugo came up to help you out.

"thank you for having me!" you bowed at mitsuki before heading out.

when you reach for the doorknob, she stops you and tells you to wait. she calls out very loudly, "BAKUGO!"

bakugo would then angrily walk down to the front door to be scolded, "bakugo, why are you leaving such a lovely person to walk home all alone!? at seven p.m.!? walk them home at least. where are the manners i taught you?!"

bakugo would groan at his mother’s nagging but agreed, not wanting to be berated by her any further. bakugo quickly grabs his black coat from his room and sharply brings it outside.

bakugo let out a puff of air, putting his hands in his pockets as he started to walk away from his house. you stayed on his porch, watching him until, like usual, he would yell at you.

"are you going to fuckin’ walk with me or what?" bakugo cursed.

"yeah, wait for me."

one time when you two were working on the project, again, in bakugo’s house. the atmosphere was quiet and serene; bakugo was taking over the poster, of course, but you were just chilling, leaning on bakugo’s study desk while he was writing some information you didn't know but, quite frankly, don't care about.

"hey, you know what animal you look like?"

"i don’t know, but i don't care. shut up, you extra."

then you started leaning onto the desk, cupping your cheeks. "an angry pomeranian." ignoring bakugo’s comment.

"no, i don’t."

"if you say so, pomeranian."

"STOP CALLING ME THAT! YOU EXTRA!"

throughout working on the project, everyone started to notice how close you started with bakugo. you would randomly come up to bakugo while walking in the hallway and cooly put your arm around bakugo’s shoulder.

"hey pomeranian." you greet the man, and you can see bakugo’s face contort to even more anger than the usual angry face bakugo holds.

bakugo shrugs off your arm much to your dismay, and glares at one of the boy students who was ogling you. "i told you to stop calling me that fuckin’ name."

the chronic angry boy’s vision turns back to you, who had no idea what bakugo was looking at. you were just rambling about whatever was on your mind until bakugo mutters,

"whatever."

and starts walking away faster, leaving you alone in the hallway.

and of course, the students and your teacher were surprised by the compliance of bakugo, had he never listened to anyone else. so once again, your teacher made you pair up with the angry man, much to his dismay.

"ugh, i’ve paired up with you again! shitty extra!?"

"seems so, angry pomeranian."

"i told you to stop calling me that!"

"well you persist in calling me an extra, so i’ll start calling you an angry pomeranian," you smirked, proud of yourself for being able to come up with such a nickname.

afterward, bakugo mumbled something so quiet that you weren’t able to tell what he said. you leaned even closer to him, and the tips of his ears are red from your proximity.

"nothing! you shitty extra, you can’t even fuckin’ hear well."

but what you didn’t know was that he mumbled out your last name. 

when you two were working, it was quiet. a serene atmosphere; you two are hard at work trying to finish the gigantic poster. until you yawned as you stretched, you looked outside, and it was sunset at the brink of nightfall.

you started packing and putting your stuff away, then you said, "i think we worked on this enough. we’ll work more on this tomorrow; see ya’."

you bid goodbye to the man who only gave you a nod to acknowledge you. to be honest, you thought he would at least offer to walk home with you. it's night already, and he doesn’t care if you go out alone? you thought bakugo at least had some decency.

you sighed—why did you even expect such things from bakugo? you pushed aside your disappointment and made your way out the door before mitsuki stopped you. she handed you one of her thickest coats.

"here, it’s getting really cold out there. and thank you for hanging out with my son." she gave you a warm, motherly smile. until you heard bakugo,

"we're not hanging out, mom!"

"shut up!" she yelled back that even though she was kind to you, she was mean as bakugo towards his son.

"go ahead now and stay safe!" she bid you goodbye while you started walking out the door.

"three students want to apply to ua high school." your homeroom teacher lazily commented, handing out application papers from ua. it was the next day, and of course, your homeroom teacher had to call out everyone's dream high school.

your homeroom teacher first walks up to bakugo and gives him one of the papers. to be honest, you knew bakugo wanted to be the number one hero, even if it meant defeating all might. the second paper your teacher passed out was midoriya, which you were pretty pleasantly surprised about. you knew he wanted to be like all might, but you didn’t know that he was willing to try out the testing even if midoriya did not even have a quirk manifested.

in your midst of shock, you could see a fuming bakugo in the corner of your eyes. oh, bakugo won’t like this. you thought. since you were stuck in your thoughts, you didn’t notice your teacher walking up to you and handing you the third and final paper.

with the suspense over, the class turned into almost a riot. you would hear complaints from your classmates left, right, and center.

"midoriya wants to apply to ua even without a quirk?!"

"why does midoriya even try?!"

"deku is so overconfident."

you felt pity for the green, curly-headed man. you knew he was extremely embarrassed by this situation. but this pity would turn into embarrassment when you would hear snickers about yourself from your classmates as well.

"them? what are they going to do with a camera quirk?!"

"midoriya and they have the audacity. i would not even think about applying to ua with quirks. did i say quirks? i mean a quirk. like them."

your classmates kept on snickering until you stood up abruptly and slammed your fists onto your desk. you walked out of your class without saying another word, leaving bakugo emotionally looking at your empty desk.

the next day, you weren't at school at all, but you appeared at bakugo’s door after school.

"hey." you greeted by setting down your backpack in the corner of bakugo’s room.

once again, bakugo just greeted you with a nod; he was laying in bed on his phone. bakugo decided not to pry into your little outburst yesterday, because, well, for two reasons: he could tell you were sore on that subject, and, well, it wasn’t his business to snoop into. ultimately decided to finally finish the project you two have been working on for so long.

now that you two are almost done with the whole thing, it was your last time coming to bakugo’s place. doing the finishing touches, you pushed your pen on the previous stroke to exaggerate and dramatize that you two were finally done with the project.

the whole time you and bakugo were working on the project, there was complete silence, sometimes broken by bakugo’s mother knocking on the door every thirty minutes or so to check if you needed anything. other than that, you talked less compared to the other partner sessions.

bakugo spoke when he was walking you home again (thanks to mitsuki once again).

"stupid, if you ever want to vent. i’m here, you know?" bakugo offered hesitantly as if he didn’t want to show that he cares about you.

you smiled at his sentence, with bakugo trying to comfort you even if his voice showed the opposite. he is trying, you suppose.

"thanks, pomeranian."

"I AM NOT-"

-

"hey bakugo."

you called out his name casually, you two walking home from a study session once again, the stars painting the dark sky. bakugo lets out a hum to acknowledge you. 

"let’s go somewhere before i go home." you didn’t let bakugo reply as you excitedly wrapped your hand around bakugo’s wrist and dragged him somewhere. anywhere. not feeling bakugo making your hand intertwined with his.

you and bakugo ended up at a park after a few minutes. you've got a brilliant idea to stargaze for a while. you let go of his hand and lay down on the cold grass, catching a glimpse at bakugo, who wordlessly lay down next to you.

but before he did that, bakugo took off his black jacket,

"sit up first."

bakugo commanded, and you sat up, following his instructions, thinking he would put his sweater on you. instead, bakugo laid the sweater behind you. then bakugo would come to lie next to you, laying on half of his jacket.

with both of his arms behind his neck, he spoke, "are you going to lay down or what extra?"

with his comment, you laid down on the other half of his jacket, feeling touched. you expected something else, but bakugo gesture was equally sweet.

you two lay in silence, admiring the stars and the bright full moon. until bakugo spoke once again,

"why do you want to become a hero?"

his voice was calm, you weren’t used to hearing bakugo’s tone, so you turned your head at him. bakugo wasn’t looking at you; he was just looking at the sky blankly with furrowed eyebrows.

"i guess it's like most people who also want to be a hero. i want to make people smile; i want to save people without making them worry about me. and to be the best, of course, all might inspire me and many other people. why do you want to be a hero?"

"simply, just to beat all might. to be better than him."

"then let’s make a promise together," this piqued bakugo’s curiosity.

"let's always train together no matter what.."

you pulled out your pinky finger. bakugo scoffed, why would he have to agree to that? bakugo can easily be the number one hero by himself. but he would soon find himself connecting his pinky finger with yours, bakugo would feel entranced by the moonlight shining on your face and that small, genuine smile. bakugo wanted to. no, bakugo felt like he had to agree to your promise.

so bakugo linked his pinky finger with yours.

ever since then, you and katsuki became closer. katsuki tolerates you now. although, he would still call you ‘shitty extra’ it is still much better than what he would call other people. and to your surprise, you, along with midoriya got accepted to ua high school, unlike what most of your classmates would gossip about. (katsuki was no surprise, to be honest.)

you would stick with katsuki throughout the beginning of the semester, but as you started to gain more friends. you would slowly start to hang out with them more, sometimes tired of dealing with the hothead. but you would still hang out with the blonde-haired man from time to time when your sanity was intact.

the first time your classmates learned that you knew katsuki even before ua was when katsuki went up behind you holding something wrapped.

"extra, my mom made lunch for you." 

hearing such a raspy voice, you automatically knew the voice belonged to katsuki. from the ‘special’ nickname katsuki gave you and the way he spoke. therefore, katsuki coming up to you was no surprise, but what surprised you was his mom making lunch for you.

after katsuki dropped off the food his mom made for you, katsuki passed your seat to go to his, which was in front of you. he could catch sight of the wide eyes or smirks coming from his ‘friends’, which caused katsuki to scold them,

"what are you looking at, shitty heads?!" whacking them with a notebook he pulled out from his bag.

"nothing," denki smirked at his friend, the electric quirk friend, who was neglecting his pencil and the homework he was working on to gossip about his angry prone friend.

"it's just… since when did your mom know about them? i know you two are friends and all, but have they met your mother already?" denki teased, raising an eyebrow, a smirk plastered onto his face. although katsuki is highly aggressive, denki doesn’t care if he gets beaten to a pulp for it. denki would take it for some giggles and laughs.

"shut up, pikachu." katsuki grumbled while crossing his arms.

once the attention was off of him, katsuki glanced at your seat without turning his head and saw a beaming smile coming from you. it was one of your favorite foods that you mentioned to his mother one time while you two were bonding in the past. katsuki grinned at the sight before turning his attention back to the board.

what you didn’t know was that katsuki was the one who made that lunch for you.

"please tell auntie i loved her cooking and say thank you!" you handed katsuki the clean tupperware the day after he gave you lunch. you gave the tupperware the day after katsuki gave you the surprise; cleaning the platter out of courtesy, the gesture was the least you could do.

you came up to katsuki before class started.

"here’s the thing; she made you lunch again." he lazily pulls out another lunch box made for you.

"god i can already tell i’m the favorite one out of the two of us." you joked, nudging the already-annoyed katsuki.

"whatever." katsuki scoffed while taking the clean lunchbox he gave you yesterday.

today, unlike yesterday, mitsuki made you a small snack in the shape of your favorite animal. the food was so detailed, it must’ve taken forever for bakugo’s mother to make it.

"it's so cute! thank you!" you admired the craftsmanship that went into it.

well, it was true. katsuki woke up at the brink of dawn to make something special for you. the reason why katsuki decided to do this was as a way to get closer and talk to you more, but he used his mother as an excuse to do so.

you noticed katsuki has gotten softer toward you after a few months; he gets angry at you less, and he is ever so slightly touchy with you.

it was the aggressive type of touchy, of course.

whenever katsuki would need to grab your attention, he would nudge you lightly on your stomach.

"(y/n)."

you came out of your thoughts to see bakugo’s concerned yet somehow angry expression on his face. katsuki would also start to say your actual name instead of the nickname he gave you years ago.

"what happened?" you groaned as you scanned your surroundings. you were in the recovery girl’s room.

katsuki reached out for his hand, which you grabbed onto, and he pulled you up so hard to the point that you stumbled over. but luckily, katsuki caught you in his arms.

the scene and the situation could be in a korean drama. this is the part where the male lead would stare at the female lead’s lips, and they slowly leaned in to kiss, but then they both were interrupted by something. no? 

katsuki dropped you on the floor.

"ow man, what was that for?" you groaned, picking yourself up from the fall and the embarrassment.

"i thought you had your balance after i caught you." katsuki shrugged; not an ounce of remorse was found in his voice. if anything, katsuki sounded like he was about to laugh.

"sure." you sarcastically replied, rolling your eyes with a small smile on your face.

you saw katsuki snicker with a smile on his face before once again reaching out his hand to help you up. but this time the gesture finally ended you up on your feet, hand in hand.

the day katsuki got revealed as the lunch maker instead of his mother was unexpected to both you and him.

mitsuki had invited you over because she hadn’t seen you in a while and she would love to catch up with you. so on a sunday night, you came over to the bakugo’s house, but this time, only for mitsuki.

when you arrived, bakugo’s mother would greet you by the door with a big smile and a wave.

"hi, aunt! is katsuki here today?"

"no, he’s out with his friends right now." she replied, letting you inside. "why?"

"oh, i had to give back the tupperware from the lunch you made for me, but i might as well give it to you!" you exclaimed, pulling out the plastic box and showing it to mitsuki. while going to sit on the couch in the living room.

mitsuki raised her eyebrows in confusion. "lunch? i've never made you lunch before," she asked confusedly, coming to sit down next to you.

"really?" you asked in disbelief and shock.

"it's probably katsuki making you those lunches!" mitsuki exclaimed, not knowing she had just snitched on her son.

"oh, i see." after that, you would chat with katsuki’s mother as if she were your mother. you would hear someone entering the house.

"get out of my house (y/n)!"

after that day, katsuki as usual would give you once again another lunch that "his mother" had made. even though you know the food was from him this time around.  katsuki looked nervous for some reason, even though he didn’t show any signs of it. you can tell how he had his hands behind his back after he gave you lunch. you can tell how he was looking at everything around you, but not exactly at you.

"do you want to say something?" you questioned, tilting your head slightly sideways.

this made bakugo’s eyebrows furrow even deeper than usual. as if katsuki was hesitating to do something. katsuki hesitating? that is so out of character for the stubborn and impulsive man.

katsuki soon after denied your inquiry by shaking his head no. but with the deafening silence shortly after, katsuki would blurt out,

"i’m going to take you out on a date this friday. i am not taking no for an answer."

then katsuki would walk away from you and leave you speechless.

katsuki has yet to tell you where or when you should meet.

so you stood in the common room of the ua dorms on friday at noon sharp, wearing one of the best outfits you thought would fit the occasion, and your hair was styled perfectly.

waiting for bakugo was kind of awkward because what if the date was supposed to be later? all of your classmates would’ve seen you dressed up, waiting for something or someone for hours.

but luck was on your side today because you would see katsuki descend the stairs coming from his dorm. katsuki looked more put together than usual; he wore his black shirt as per usual, but he wore a fake black varsity jacket that had a white skull on the back of it. for his bottoms, he wore light-wash jeans, with, of course, a black belt surrounding his jeans. but his hair stayed the same.

"so where are we going?"

bakugo continued to walk out of the ua dorms, making you jog up to him to catch up with him. "you ready to hike?"

"what?" you asked in disbelief, but it sounded more like a statement. hiking? on the first date?

"it’ll be short and easy." he turned to you with a small smile showing on his face; for a second, it looked like he was filled with admiration. making you slightly flustered from his unusual face of adoration, along with his tone.

"you promise?" you asked, still in doubt about the hike.

"i promise."

katsuki was right. compared to the vigorous training you guys do daily; the hike was a piece of cake. although the hike was easy, the duration of it was pretty long. after a minute or so, katsuki took one more step and told you, "we’re here."

this caused you to look at your surroundings. at the peak of the hike, the sun was already setting. painting the usual blue skies orange and pink. you can see an udon shop at the corner of your eye, along with surprisingly, grassy patches. there were barely any people, and when you walked to the edge of the mountain hill thing, you looked out to see the busy city traffic and the tall buildings. the view looked so beautiful from up here.

"how did you find this place, kats?" you were in awe at the view. he turned to you and looked at you as if the answer was obvious.

"you know i like hiking. one day, i just found this special gem. c'mon go find a spot to sit while i’ll get udon. what do you like?"

you said your preferred type of udon, and he nodded, and walked away from you. you found a spot right below a tree, but a bit further by the edge to keep the view.

a few minutes later, katsuki would come back with two steaming hot udon. he passed you your share of the noodles, and he sat down with his. you two would sit in silence, enjoying the noodles and the view.

"you know, i know that you're making those lunches instead."

"WHAT-"

as the sun sets, the moon and the stars appear in the sky. the city lights appear brighter than ever. the view was even more breathtaking than the sunset.

you two get ice cream after as a dessert, and you two start walking back to the dorm. katsuki would have willingly walked you to your dorm, but he said no word and just led you there.

"thank you, kats for the date. i loved it," you said after reaching outside of your dorm.

now you felt a sudden awkwardness in the air, like the romance cliches you would read or watch. you finally understood the leads after a first date and how they would just stand there awkwardly.

should i kiss him? no that's too much for a first date. hug him? no katsuki isn't a hugger. until you suddenly gained an idea of how to say goodbye to your friend.

you leaned in and gave him a peck on his right cheek, "i had fun." you spoke quickly before running to your dorm quickly after being a bit freaked out by your actions.

hopefully, katsuki didn’t mind that physical affection...

outside your door, katsuki has yet to move a spot or even look anywhere else from where you stood before running into your room. katsuki slowly raises his right hand to touch where you kissed him.

he loved that peck on his cheek.

-

you were having an english study session with ejiro; you didn’t pass your recent english pop quiz, and yamada sensei wasn’t exactly happy with it. but studying with kirishima wasn’t the best idea since he isn't the best at english either.

you two were conversing in english until you saw your phone light up in the corner of your eye.

"hold on, eji."

the reason for your phone going off was because of katsuki.

bakugo: what do ya want’

then would bakugo would send a photo of multiple loaves of bread near each other.

bakugo: ask shitty hair, if he wants one too.

you replied to bakugo telling him your preferred loaf, and you showed ejiro your phone, and he pointed to one of the loaves of bread in the photo and said, "ooh! that one!"

once you told bakugo the choices both of you made, you put your phone down and went back to studying.

"you know bakugo wouldn’t do that for any other person, right? not even his friends."

after some more not-flirty encounters, you decided to just ask the big question yourself. you know that katsuki’s pride is big enough to only ask you out on a date.

your plan was simple: just to ask him out in a nice setting at the perfect time. but lately, there seemed to be no perfect time to do so.

"hey, kats, i need to tell you-"

"bakugo, what are you waiting for? let's go." sero said, gesturing to the door.

to be fair, sero is a nice guy, and he didn’t notice you talking to him, otherwise, he would've profusely apologized, but at the time, you hated sero.

you were eating lunch alone just for one day because your social battery was draining out when bakugo comes up to you and says, "hey."

"hi ka-"

"oh my god (y/n)! i need your help in english pleasee." ejiro runs up to you.

"why not later?"

"it's due today, pleaseeee."

you sigh, "sorry, kats, let's talk another time, hm?" you leave before katsuki could even get a word in the conversation.

finally, after class, katsuki was rushing to the bathroom when katsuki crashed into you.

"oh hey, kats!"

"hey (y/n)," katsuki said in a panicked voice. you finally decided to confess to him, even if the situation didn’t seem perfect enough. you needed to confess to katsuki. unfortunately, because of this, you didn't notice katsuki’s state of panic.

"so i want to—"

"can we talk another time? i have to pi-"

"i like you; please be my boyfriend," you said hurriedly.

"yes" he agreed before running away to the men’s bathroom.

while the events leading up to the two of you finally becoming into a romantic relationship was the most unexpected confession you wished for, you’re happy to finally be in a relationship with your crush after basically four years.

the beginning stages of a relationship are, most of the time, always awkward. the changes katsuki had made after becoming your boyfriend were little to none. katsuki still acted the same around you, and you were a bit shy whenever katsuki was around. which was extremely abnormal for you... not so for katsuki on his end though.

the only new thing after becoming in a relationship was that you two spent more time together. during lunchtime and whenever you felt like being with katsuki, you would sit next to him.

but what you most liked after becoming in a relationship was the late-night walks with katsuki. late night walks with katsuki wasn't often; katsuki liked to sleep early for the intensive training the next day. but there were some days when kats couldn’t sleep. he never told you any reason why he might've been unable to sleep, but you didn't mind it. you didn't want to pressure him to say anything if he wasn’t comfortable with it.

of course, no one knew about this, but it was thrilling. for bakugo to sneak to your room past curfew, and you two sneak out of the dorm to just admire the stars. you two never went past the ua gates or even the dorm buildings, but it's fun to break the rules sometimes.

"aren’t you curious why you can't sleep on random days of the month?" katsuki asked after the silence of walking on the pavement. you can hear owls hooting in the night before you respond.

"of course i am kats, but you never mention them, and i didn’t want to make you uncomfortable."

"you know you can ask when you want to, right?"

you didn't say anything in response, because of how cold you realized you were. you didn’t mean to, but you made an audible shiver. doing nothing of it, you continued walking until you felt a sudden warmth and the smell of caramel. the caramel scent must’ve been from katsuki’s quirk, as you assumed. katsuki just gave you his jacket.

"are you sure you wouldn’t be cold kats?"

"i’ll be fine. now shut up and take it."

another day of training in class 1a, and you were having a tougher time compared to usual. your sparring partner completely read all of your moves and dominated you. you asked for a mini-break to gather your thoughts and catch your breath.

katsuki who was in the stands watching you went down to where you were to help ease your mind. when katsuki reached the room you were in, he saw you having a slight panic attack. he walked up to you and cupped your cheeks, forcing you to look at him. "hey, hey, hey, look at me."

you looked into dilated crimson eyes, unlike before, when his eyes would usually be small from how many times he felt angry. "you got this, just breathe in and out. analyze your opponent. are they long-range? short-range? change your moves now and then, okay?"

you and katsuki hear a whistle being blown, letting you know that the break is over and to come back. katsuki gives you an award-winning smile and kisses you on your forehead before letting you go: "go get them, tiger."

because of katsuki, you feel energized. feeling like you can take on the world. and you just did that. but because katsuki was so worried about you, he forgot to prepare for the upcoming spar with him and todoroki, so katsuki almost lost the fight. you knew he almost lost because of you and felt terrible for it.

now, you aren’t normally a jealous type of person. but the trees are starting to blossom into cherry blossom trees. that means it's confession season, or, more precisely, love season. while this was a perfect time for you and katsuki to go on a date. you know katsuki isn't necessarily an outsider; he is pretty popular even if he doesn't like it.

you never realized how popular katsuki was until you heard someone else confess to him right in front of you.

you two were walking toward the cafeteria after homeroom, and after leaving 1a, your hand grazed bakugo’s hand. you felt an instant spark, and it wasn’t because of bakugo’s quirk. you wanted to feel it again, so this time you purposefully but sneakily touched the back of your hand against his once again.

okay, perhaps you weren’t sly enough because you would hear katsuki sigh in annoyance and then fully lace your hands with his.

"if you just want to hold my hand, you don't need to fuckin hesitate." katsuki deadpanned, but when he knew you looked away from him, you could see a small smile forming on his face.

just barely reaching the cafeteria doors, a person taps on bakugo’s back, and katsuki turns around, not breaking the connection between your hands. you didn’t notice, but bakugo’s face hardened. well, not hardened, but with the same face, he would make compared to anyone else besides you. you notice them holding a piece of paper decorated with hearts.

"i like you; please go out with me!" the person bowed deeply, handing out the piece of paper to bakugo, completely ignoring the fact that you were there and ignoring the fact that you two are holding hands as this is happening.

the AUDACITY. your jaw drops at the person confessing to your boyfriend, right in front of you. "no."

-

you two would walk to class together when you saw a huge chocolate box covering katsuki’s whole desk. both of you walked up to it. you were curious about it, but katsuki simply had to walk there since it was his seat.

you notice a note on top of the box of chocolates,

‘i can be so much better.’

is all that the note said. you said nothing else and just walked away, keeping the note but letting katsuki keep the chocolates on his desk.

quite frankly, you didn’t care in a way that katsuki would in a way go for his new pursuer, but in another way, people thought katsuki can do so much better than teeny-tiny you.

-

"you know that i would never date an extra like them, right?" bakugo would say it randomly one day while he and you were chilling in your dorm.

you turned to katsuki with a confused look on your face until you realized what he was talking about. katsuki must have known that you weren’t feeling well because of his fans and their brutal words.

"i know, kats, it's just..." you sighed. "having multiple people belittle you when you have little to no confidence in the first place isn't exactly rewarding."

you smashed your face onto your pillow, not feeling like seeing what katsuki’s face would morph into, not feeling like seeing his pity or anything like that. instead, you heard katsuki shuffle out of the bed, which made you pull yourself up from the pillow.

"what are you doing?"

"come on, i’ll make your favorite food."

-

"i don't know eji; i really like him, but his fans are really getting to me." you sighed as you cupped your face while lying down on ejiro’s bed.

you two were normally hanging out like usual in his dorm when ejiro turned around from his office chair.

"if you really love him, you will fight for him, (n/n)," he said seriously, saying your nickname to assure you he wasn’t mad at you or scolding you.

"i do eji, and i want to, but... you sighed.

you felt strained for the rest of the upcoming weeks, and as much as you love to see the flowers bloom in the spring, you were already excited for confession season to be over.

you were quieter around katsuki lately, bakugo observed. whenever he would offer something of his or ask you a question, you would usually give one-word answers.

"i was thinking about going to visit the old hag this weekend; do you want to come?" katsuki asked mindlessly as he was scrolling through his phone while you two were chilling on his bed doing whatever.

you hummed in response; you miss your basically, second mother to death. but if you even step foot into the bakugo’s house, mitsuki will immediately be able to tell that something is wrong.

you hummed, letting katsuki know that you were thinking about his proposal. "i’ll think about it, kats." was all you said before going back to scrolling on your phone.

this response from you is unusual, especially since his mother is mentioned and he knows you adore her. he expected you to automatically agree with katsuki and visit her. right when bakugo was going to ask what was wrong, you got up and told him you had to do something for kirishima. leaving katsuki all alone in his room, confused and worried.

the more you thought about it, the less appealing the idea of dating bakugo became. If you're already bothered by one fan of bakugo saying that he can do so much better, what will happen when katsuki does become a hero? when are there going to be tons of people fawning over him?

this caused your energy to leave your body; it seemed like you’d been so tired lately, just wanting to lay in bed and do nothing.

"wake up~ we have to train today, and aizawa sensei said everyone has to be there.

"ejiro, i don't want to." the tone of your voice has sounded sad and exhausted lately, kirishima noted.

"let's go lazy butt," ejiro said before pulling off the covers of your bed and grabbing ahold of your arms, forcefully dragging you out of your bed.

you lay on the floor of your room, face down, readying yourself to get up. groaning, you finally pulled yourself up, and you let your shoulders sag at the sight of ejiro.

"here, i’ll help you get ready." ejiro gets your school uniform and lays it out on your bed. "get dressed."

kirishima then turns around to face a wall to allow you to change out of your sleeping clothes. when you signal him that you are done changing, he sits you down on your chair and grabs any hair tool that will help your hair. until ejiro finally deems that your hair is neat enough.

ejiro then grabs the first skincare product you always use and starts applying it to your face. ejiro has watched you do your skincare for so long, he knows it by heart. after some more skin care products, kirishima pulls you up and walks you to class 1a.

when you and kirishima pull up to class 1a late, katsuki can't help but raise an eyebrow at this. he knows you two are best friends, ejiro even being friends with bakugo himself, but with the way you have been acting around him lately, katsuki can't help but think that maybe something is happening between you two.

when class is over, katsuki pulls you to the side as everyone starts to leave the classroom. when katsuki was fully sure no one was in earshot, bakugo starts to speak, "i can't believe i’m fuckin asking this, but, is there something going on between you and fuckin shitty hair?"

"what?" your eyebrows furrowed, and you were in disbelief. out of everyone, katsuki bakugo is asking if you, his significant other, and his own best friend have chemistry with each other.

"i can’t believe you would think of ejiro and me like that. remember? your friend from junior high?" you pointed your index finger at yourself, leaning forward and inching closer to katsuki’s face. your face contorted into anger even more when katsuki still had a face full of accusation and doubt.

"talk to me when you have come to your senses." you leaned back, standing straight with no emotion in your voice.

as you reached the door, you turned around to face your boyfriend. "and you know eji wouldn’t ever betray you like that." 

you closed the door, leaving katsuki in his thoughts. alone.

-

"i’m sorry," all bakugo said, inviting himself over to your room.

"i wasn’t in the right mind. you’ve been acting weird lately, and i jumped to conclusions way too quickly." katsuki looked at the floor while saying all of his apologies.

you sighed looking at bakugo’s figure; you knew how hard it must be for bakugo to put his pride (a big one at that.) down and apologize.

you smiled, your arms spreading out for a hug, "come here, kats."

katsuki comes in for a hug.

-

even though you two mended things, the relationship felt a bit off compared to before. perhaps it was because you two aren’t in the honeymoon stage of the relationship anymore, or maybe it was because of the accusation katsuki made. because of this, you lost faith in katsuki. what if he did find someone better?

unintentionally, you find yourself hanging out with your friends way more than usual. because if you were even around him, the negative thoughts would start to seep into your mind.

"hey (y/n)-"

"hey, midoriya!" you called out, even though you completely heard katsuki. 

"oh hey (y/n)! what's up?" deku turned around to chat with you.

"i need help with-" 

and then katsuki would hear your voice fade off as you and his rival walked off in the school hallways.

once when you were walking alone in the hallways, the fan who confessed to katsuki right in front of you crossed paths with you.

"oh… it’s you," they said with disgust in their voice.

while you said nothing, they continued to talk, stopping whatever they needed to do and saying, "honestly, i don't know why you're still dating him. you’re holding him back with that weird quirk of yours."

"really-"

"what do you mean, 'really'? haven’t you seen bakugo holding back because of you? he would stop and help you instead of going to where he should be."

the fan would leave right after, leaving you alone.

"what if i am holding katsuki back?" you whispered to yourself.

-

"we should break up," you said sharply, trying to look at anything but the man in front of you.

there was a big awkward silence; you didn't know what to do. you looked down and started twiddling with your thumbs. after what felt like hours passed by, bakugo finally speaks up, but you can hear his voice wavering.

"w-why?" 

"you and i are no match for each other; you belong in the pro-hero world. i belong… here."

you gestured to the things around you, saying how common they are, like you. that’s what you thought. you saw bakugo’s face harden up.

"if it's really easy for you to break off a relationship, then so be it."

bakugo then walked away, leaving your house through the door, not letting you explain in further detail. you were at the age of seventeen, letting go of your first love.

and there goes your first love.

your mental health has been declining ever since then, even though you're the one who decided to break off the relationship. between you and bakugo, it seemed like you were the one broken up with.

the next day, when you attended class. bakugo looked as normal as ever, showing no signs of experiencing a breakup with someone of four years. perhaps he never loved you.

this insecurity of yours transferred over to the capabilities of your quirk to be a pro-hero. any confidence and hopes of being a hero were shattered after your practice training with kirishima ended terribly.

"what’s wrong with you today? something’s wrong?" kirishima kneeled to your face after pushing you a bit too hard during the training.

kirishima scans your body to see if you have any injuries and sends you to the recovery girl. seeing such a concerned face made you start to tear up. you’ve been keeping all of your emotions inside for a while. and for someone to ask you if you were okay, even if it weren’t mentally. it was your last straw.

"i can’t anymore." you got up and ran away from your peers.

and for days, you never appeared for class after that. mina was pestering aizawa to tell them where you went or if you were okay. and after many trials, aizawa finally caved in, annoyed to the point of finally spilling the beans to his students.

"your former classmate has decided to drop out of ua high school." aizawa announced in a monotone voice, sounding tired as expected.

silence.

no one said a word. if someone were to want to say anything, they would've just been nervous by the atmosphere after hearing the news their teacher had dropped them. everyone in ua seemed so determined to be a hero, no matter the circumstances or how much they were being held back.

bakugo’s eyes widened; if someone were to see him, they would be able to see the guilt and pity in his eyes. but never said a word. then his face contorted into the angry face he would always put on.

bakugo would continue his hero training course without you. unlike the promise you two had made in the past.

the journey after that was hard after you left ua. many people questioned why you left such a prestigious school and what your quirk was, but you kept it to yourself. you didn't know where to pick yourself up after your group was out and left your whole friend group. (minus kirishima; you didn’t have the heart to push him away from you.)

you stayed home for a few weeks feeling numb. you never thought about what happens if you give up on that whole pro-hero career thing. you were so dedicated to being one that the thought of being something else never crossed your mind.

soon you came to your senses; you can’t live like this forever. you started to look for part-time jobs; what else do you want to be? you didn’t know; every other occupation seemed mediocre at best, and you couldn’t see yourself loving any other job.

"maybe you can use something about that quirk of yours? since you’re used to using it a lot… back then. maybe you can use that as your occupation!" ejiro thought after hearing your concerns.

ejiro and you were face timing after you heard that crazy villainous fight he participated in, and of course, you had to check up on him. somehow, you ended up ranting about your current concerns to ejiro after the usual small talk, and ejiro ended up coming up with that idea.

it took you a few minutes to think about what ejiro had said. and the more you thought about it, the better the idea sounded. you smiled brightly at ejiro’s face.

"that's a brilliant idea, eji! thank you."

what can you do to make the most of your quirk? to some, the answer is quite obvious; to others, it is a camera quirk. has to be something in the film industry. you tried to think of the bare minimum of the hero thing. you could be a reporter, and more specifically, a reporter of pro-heroes; you already have connections to future pro-heroes. you still wished you could've been one.

you smiled bitterly at the thought. but what else could you do? you started searching for jobs that had to do with journalism.

you landed a place as an intern at a broadcasting station after a few years and started to work from the ground up there. from an intern to a scriptwriter to finally a news reporter at the age of twenty-two.

you had covered your past friends. reminiscing about the times when you all had fun with each other in ua high school. you didn’t cover just hero work. you were there for major events or disasters.

you would say life is going smoothly for you. until…

-

"bakugo is engaged?" you almost screeched in shock at the information you were just given by kirishima ejiro.

kirishima is one of the few classmates you still talk to from time to time. and the red-headed man has just dropped some news on you. you can tell he distances himself from his phone from your little shriek on the call. by the way, he spoke, but his voice sounded distant.

even though ejiro disliked your outburst, kirishima thought you should know an important event about your ex’s life. kirishima knew you still cared about him even if bakugo isn’t in your life anymore.

"thought i’d let you know." 

you can hear the pity in ejiro’s voice. but you were too shocked to care.

as long as katsuki is happy…

you didn’t know how much kirishima’s sudden news affected you. it was slow and painful. ejiro’s words would constantly echo in your mind throughout the day. when you are cooking your food, you just come up with the scenario of bakugo going onto one knee and putting a ring on his significant other.

you would think about how bakugo and his partner would first meet. was it love at first sight? was he happy in that relationship? you smacked yourself; of course, he is happy; bakugo proposed to them.

"shit my food is burning."

-

"are you fucking kidding me?" you whispered in shock.

every week, the team gives you a paper on who or what to cover for each week’s news broadcast. you were excited until you saw what segment you were covering. that was the number-two pro-hero, hot-headed, your ex. katsuki bakugo.

what the fuck are you going to do now? you haven't talked or even faced bakugo since your breakup. 

"since you used to attend ua, we thought you could interview an old friend!" your coworker squealed excitedly.

"and perhaps he’ll open up about his past since you know him." they leaned in whispering to you.

but of course, your co-workers didn’t know you and bakugo used to have a thing going on. you couldn’t blame them because you simply never told them.

you weakly smiled at your peer, hoping your uneasiness wasn’t obvious. 

how the fuck are you going to face your ex?

-

you reached katsuki’s agency, you looked up at the tall building. your nervousness expands even more than when you read that you were going to cover your ex for the whole day.

you focused on your breathing, trying to calm down your heart that was pounding faster than usual. when your breathing calmed down, you pulled on the doors and entered. you walked up to the reception and smiled at her.

"i’m here to interview dynamite." you showed the receptionist your identification card.

saying bakugo’s pro-hero name, "dynamite," left a weird taste in your mouth, you were so used to saying katsuki or bakugo. it just felt weird to say his pro-hero name, but if you were to say bakugo’s actual name, you would get blank stares.

"oh, you must be the reporter! come this way." 

she stood up from her desk and led you to bakugo’s office. and there you saw the blond spikey hair you learned to love so dearly. bakugo’s features have matured a bit since you last saw him, and you noticed some unfamiliar scars from bakugo’s past fights.

you can't help but look down at the floor to hide your smile after seeing bakugo’s shocked face. the receptionist bowed before exiting the room, which made you look up at bakugo.

"...hey dynamite, how are you?"

no matter how much you try to sound happy, you can't help but sound just a tinge of bitterness. you didn’t know what to call him because of… obvious reasons. but you can see bakugo visibly cringe at what you said.

"just call me katsuki, for old times' sake." 

he smiled at you, but you couldn’t tell whether it was a sad or a happy one. you didn’t know what you hoped for, to be honest. bakugo stood up from his chair to give you a handshake. it felt rougher and tougher compared to the last time you held hands with him. 

"you probably know what we’re going to do, but just to make sure you know. i will first interview you on your pro-hero life and your…" you trailed off. "and your younger days."

bakugo stayed quiet at your news. you didn’t know what he was thinking. but to be honest, you kind of hope he will mention something about you. bakugo nodded after a few minutes.

"let’s start, shall we?" 

you started setting up, making a camera appear on your right cheek. you held out your notebook and pen. bakugo straightened his posture and clamped his two calloused hands together.

"first question, what made you want to become a pro-hero?"

it took bakugo a few seconds to think about his carefully considered response. before opening his mouth to speak again.

"it was and still is my childhood dream. i would always see all might saving people being saved left and right on television when i was a child. and because of that, all might inspire me to become even better than our past number-one hero."

you look at the pre-written notes that your team has prepared in advance for you.

"with a man who is extremely headstrong and ambitious, was it hard to make and keep your friends?"

this time, bakugo didn’t need any time to think of his response.

"i never really sought out to make friends, even when i maintained a decent relationship with people. i have always denied that we were friends. like this one time, when i had a work-study in my first year of ua with shoto and deku with another previous number one pro-hero, endeavor, shoto’s father. and i forgot exactly the conversation leading up to it, but i would always angrily tell how "i’m not fuckin’ friends with shoto."

bakugo would do some air quotes until he looked a bit shocked and said, "wait, i’m allowed to curse right?" you just nodded in reply; you know you couldn’t stop bakugo from cursing anyways.

you would’ve thought bakugo would ever be considerate enough to think about his cursing with other people. you guessed that this is due to bakugo growing older. you also noticed his anger management issues have gotten a lot better. he argued less but was still headstrong and wouldn’t let anyone be better than him.

"okay, one last question before i would just follow you around for the day." 

you flipped a page over to the next question, which made your mouth drop open from the shock. you cursed your coworker in your mind; of course, they would ask such a personal question since you used to know bakugo. you quickly composed yourself and began to speak.

"now for a more personal question, with such a determined, hot-headed man, have you ever gotten into a relationship? are you in one at this time?"

bakugo’s eyes widened and he smiled awkwardly at you. "i’ve only been in two relationships my whole life. my first relationship was with my first love; i’ve loved them for four years, starting in middle school and continuing through high school. until they suddenly broke up with me."

bakugo lets out a pause, which lets you comment. "oh my god, i’m so sorry, dynamite." 

you truly are sorry, but seeing how bakugo ended up. perhaps it was a good thing to break up your relationship with bakugo. but all bakugo did was wave you off with a smile.

"it’s okay; i’ve gotten over them after a while. but thanks to them, i’ve met my wonderful fiance." bakugo smiled warmly, showing the diamond ring on his ring finger.

"congrats."

after spending an awkward day following your ex around, write down notes on what bakugo would do that can make him stand out compared to other heroes. but as the minutes pass, more regret and guilt arise from you.

you missed the blonde man so much. you missed following him around, it felt like middle school once again. working on a stupid project and coming over to his house often. as the sun starts to set, you wrap up your things and start to say goodbye to your once-loved.

"well, this is it." this will be the last time to ever see him again. you start to walk out until bakugo gently grabs your wrist, stopping you.

"before you go, i would like to get some closure. you know?" you turned around to fully face bakugo, letting go of the grip the man had on your wrist.

"why did you break up with me?"

"the reason is simple, kats: i felt like i was going to hold you back from reaching your full potential. so even though i still loved you, i let you go." you turn away from the man, feeling the tears starting to gather. you already know this isn’t going to end well for you.

"oh, and by the way, katsuki? congrats on your marriage, truly." your voice wavered, but you smiled widely, trying to cover up your unforgiving tone.

bakugo gave you a pitiful smile. normally, you would love seeing his smile, but this time you can’t help but feel anger well up inside of you. how dare bakugo smile at you as if he were still in love with you? how dare he look better than ever, as if you two never went through such a heartbreaking breakup? but you can’t help but feel even more anger at yourself. you felt yourself melt a little at how bakugo’s eyes crinkled, you truly still do love bakugo.

but he wasn’t yours anymore.

"thank you, y/n." you turned the doorknob of katsuki’s office. "goodbye, katsuki."

#☆ MHA #bakugou katsuki #bakugou x y/n #bakugou x you #mha x y/n #mha fanfiction #mha imagines #mha x reader #mha #bnha imagines #bnha scenarios #bnha #katsuki bakugo #bakugo katuski x reader #bakugou imagine #bakugou headcanons #katsuki bakugo my hero academia #my hero acedamia #boku no hero fanfic

[lurkingshan]

Love Mate

When @bengiyo informed me that the creative team behind Our Dating Sim had released another show, I knew immediately I would have to check it out (attn: @troubled-mind). And I’m happy to report that I really loved Love Mate!

The basic premise: Yi Jun doesn’t believe in love and is determined to be single forever. Ha Ram is his new junior at work who has a crush on him and is determined to prove him wrong. Shenanigans ensue!

This is a really classic romance story and the show heavily deploys all your favorite tropes from romance, bl, and kdramas, but in a knowing way that lets you in on the fun. The leads are great and have really solid chemistry. And importantly, like ODS, this show has managed to calibrate its pacing and story ambitions appropriately to fit its short length. The narrative is complete and satisfying and it was a really delightful few hours of a binge.

Getting into spoiler territory here so only read on if you don’t mind!

I’ve seen a bit of chatter in the tags about whether Ha Ram went too far in his aggressive pursuit of Yi Jun and transgressed his boundaries inappropriately. I get why that conversation is happening but I didn’t feel that way and wanted to dig into why.

First, like I mentioned above, this is a really classic romance set up that is using very recognizable tropes, and the character types and dynamic between them is no exception. Yi Jun is claiming not to believe in love, but you can see almost immediately - and the show confirms over time - that he is actually a wounded baby bird who desperately wants love but is trying to protect himself from getting hurt again. Ha Ram is the love interest who sees through him - we find out later why he is so confident this isn’t really who Yi Jun is and why he is so determined about him - and takes it upon himself to give Yi Jun the attention and care he clearly needs. These archetypes are rooted in tradition and if you’re familiar with the genre you know the basic sketch of how this is going to go before the first episode ends.

Second, it was apparent right away that Yi Jun 1) liked Ha Ram; 2) wanted his attention; 3) was enjoying being pursued despite his protestations. In the first few episodes we saw him getting flustered, looking at and thinking about Ha Ram constantly, and intentionally putting himself in Ha Ram’s path even as he verbally claimed he wasn’t into it. Yi Jun even admits all of this explicitly once they’re dating, but to me it was clear just from his body language and reactions. After asking for some time to think before he decides if he wants to date him, Yi Jun cracks after literally one (1) day without Ha Ram’s attention. Once they start being “date mates” Yi Jun blooms right in front of our eyes. He is happy again, finding joy in life, relaxing quite naturally into this relationship even if he won’t call it that yet. And when his ex comes back and sends him back into a spiral and he starts avoiding Ha Ram, we see his spirit dim and the light go out of his eyes. Ha Ram is good for Yi Jun and the show makes it super clear. And it makes perfect sense, because for someone who was harshly dumped the way Yi Jun was in the past, someone pursuing him that relentlessly, and still wanting him even when he makes it difficult, would be a much needed balm for his ego, a boost to his confidence, and the assurance he would need before he’d be willing to risk getting hurt again.

Third, Ha Ram is an emotionally intelligent character that can tell the difference between Yi Jun “playing hard to get” while still seeking his attention, and Yi Jun actually being very upset and wanting time away from him. And when Ha Ram is faced with the latter, he backs off. He knows something is going on with the ex and he is upset about Yi Jun pushing him away, but ultimately he gives him space to wallow and only intervenes when he is being hurt. And in the end, he offers his support and care to bolster Yi Jun, and again gives Yi Jun the space to get the closure he needs on his own.

I could probably ramble on about this show and these characters all day (which is telling given when a short watch it is!) but I would rather just tell you to go watch it. It’s not perfect, but it’s truly a lovely story and worth your time.

#love mate #korean bl #kdrama #shan shouts into the void

[gizkasparadise]

wait you didn’t like mr.queen or our beloved summer?? how?? (respectfully lmao)

LOL bless @ respectfully. ty friend :'D

i recognize these are unpopular opinions here, but to hell with it let's shake some salt.

mr. queen

i adored jang bong hwan (and their theme song is a bop, i still loop it on spotify), shin hye sun's incredible performance, the maid sidekicks, and when it was doing comedy it was 100

but jesus christ the political plots were such a gd chore to get through. i felt like someone was frankensteining a wacky and wild fusion sageuk (that was fun! and enjoyable!) with a palace drama that was as engaging as watching overnight oats ferment. the jo family was annoying. the kim family was annoying. it was just tedious machination after machination and none of it was particularly imaginative or compelling (and, like. i made it through princess weiyoung with 0 fastforwarding so clearly i can deal with circular palace politics). i was so annoyed by consort jo. and super unpopular opinion, but the male lead did absolutely nothing for me in this drama either and i found him really unpalatable for a good chunk of the show (which is wild, because the actor plays one of my favorite MLs in another drama)

and the ending...sort of forgot to include the title character for a good chunk of it. bong hwan was done so dirty in terms of character resolution and the romance post-transmigration came off kind of yikes for me with kim so young returning (also the body horror component of someone regaining consciousness/agency in their now pregnant body i just. if you're going to include these elements address them????)

idk it had some high notes and it was really charming at the beginning of the drama. but then it spiraled down a well (that fucking well. oy.)

our beloved summer

ON PAPER THIS IS EVERYTHING I LOVE. second chance romances are my favorites. bickering couples are my favorites. having to work with the ex is my favorite. i loved the 3/4 of the main actors that i knew from other dramas (kim sung cheol is a particular favorite!), the OST is amazing (another set of songs i still loop on spotify!), and the art direction and acting were also great. i remember really enjoying the first half-ish of the show.

but it totally lost me in the second half with the writing. im trying to remember specifics, because it's been over a year since i've watched it, but i recall the distinct impression that the couple was really setting themselves up for the same shit down the road regarding their communication, their differing emotional needs, and their other issues. at the end when they revealed they were getting married my first reaction wasnt YAY LOVE but rather oh fuck not again. i left watching the show thinking both the leads would be better off if they tried dating other people-- it felt like they outgrew the other and the show didnt do a good enough job of convincing me that they would be able to make it work this time around. from ep 11ish onwards, it was frustrating and annoying to watch and the only reason i made it through all 16 eps is because i was watching it with a friend

i also remember there was this totally "?!" subplot/reveal about the ML basically being adopted as a replacement goldfish for his parents' deceased son and it was in focus for like 2 eps despite how deeply deeply fucked up that whole premise was (obs isnt unique in a "trauma focus of the week" kdrama narrative, it just struck out as glaringly bad to me for some reason this time around)

so LOL. uh. there it is. oy this was longer than i intended it to be, sorry :'D

#asks! #kdrama #adding a new tag: #gizkarants #because i dont want to put 100% negative stuff in the drama tag

[bengiyo]

Happy Ending Romance Eps 7 & 8 (Finale) Stray Thoughts

Unfortunately, I lost the first version of this post after episode 7 ended. I'll do a quick scroll through that episode and rebuild some of my thoughts, but it's a loss.

Episode 7

I was really looking forward to this quartet working together, but Wu Ju has been turned.

This seating arrangement with the two sofas and armchair shows up a lot in Kdrama. Can someone explain why they're always arranged this way in offices?

We had two different "please take good care of me" exchanges, and only one of them felt genuine.

Han Tae Young is remarkably earnest, and I liked the spit it out scene.

Editor Yeong Seon is honestly fantastic. Telling someone you want them to be miserable takes a level of offense I respect.

All successful writers do is attend meetings. Jung Hyun's never writing.

I really like this first kiss. I like that Han Tae Young asked to kiss him after weeks of professing his love. They haven't beaten the TMS guys, but it was nice.

Another goddamn meeting.

I expected the reveal that Jung Woo was ghostwriting, but the reveal that it's what he outed that other writer for makes me wonder what the point was of going public in the first place.

I think Jung Hyun means it when he says he wants to protect Jung Woo, bit I think it inevitably infantilizes Jung Woo. He's never required to face anything, and still they both suffer.

I like the use of a bridge for a sad moment for Jung Woo. He can't go back now that everything is in the open.

Love that Han Tae Young was only worried that Jung Woo had left him again. We even get a pretty decent second kiss.

Episode 8

I really like the arty bed scene. There's been a lot of angst and long-term pining hanging over this, so this works. I also like it because this doesn't feel like a first-time-with-another-man experience for either of them.

For all that Kim Jung Hyun irritates me, Leo has done a great job embodying this character.

I can't believe a writer left his computer unsecured.

I feel for Yeong Seon. She keeps getting caught in all this drama.

I have enjoyed how when Korea does a love triangle, it's complicated by the different ways people love the same person and whether that might be best for the parties involved.

I'm wondering now if the professor figured out they were ghostwriting and blackmailed Jung Hyun.

It's a unique feeling of relief to see Kim Jung Hyun let go and team up with Han Tae Young. Now we've got a full party.

Oh, the professor didn't know.

There's a lot happening in this spiral just for Cha Jung Woo to end up back at Literature Square again.

The smash cut from the dour party to Jung Woo yelling was well done.

Hey, this non-fight is really good. Karam has done a solid job with a rather subdued character in Jung Woo. He's stepped up his expressiveness at this point and it works so well.

I loved this framing with the bus stop to place Jung Hyun on the outside.

Of course Jung Woo isn't going to let someone else sacrifice himself at this point.

Leo is good. I felt sympathy for Jung Hyun's relief that something he wrote on his own strength was good. I'm even glad he reconciled with Yeong Seon.

Man, I like that they let us know that the book worked out, and I like seeing Jung Hyun agreeing to work with Tae Young. This joke flirting between all of them at the end is a lovely touch.

Final Verdict: 8, Recommended. I think there are some shaky bits early on; I wasn't sure what I wanted to care about. Still, I like the ideas in this about the need to face pain and fear, and how trying to protect people from any disappointment can sometimes make things worse. I also enjoyed a lot of the dynamics, though I felt some emotional hand offs were missing. I will say I found a lot of the cross-cutting between scenes to be a bit distracting, and sometimes made it hard to focus.

#happy ending romance #korean bl #bl series #Ben watches

[deathlygristly]

I've been thinking lately about anxiety and trauma and neurodivergence and the internet and growth and healing.

I've followed some new people lately who I thought were interesting, and I've seen them highly disagree with each other and with people whose podcasts I've listened to and with people I already followed.

It reminded me of how back in the day when I was anxious and traumatized and I hadn't started healing yet and I also hadn't realized that I am probably somewhere on the autism spectrum, I took everyone's pronouncements as the Truth. Because why would you say things that aren't true (I didn't know how neurotypical communication works and that I wasn't neurotypical) and if you were being harsh and loud and mean about people who disagreed with you, I was a Bad Person and I was In Trouble (the unhealed anxiety and trauma).

But now grown up healed a lot understanding myself a lot more me can be like okay, yeah, but you all have point of views that I find interesting and you say things that make me think and I learn from you, and it's good to have a diversity of viewpoints and opinions, and I'm not a Bad Person just because I've had different experiences that have led me to different feelings and thoughts about things, or because I like your thoughts and I also like the thoughts of the person you violently disagree with.

It's nice to read something highly emotional from someone else and to not spiral into self-hatred and panic about it. It's very freeing.

The spiraling does still happen occasionally but it's much much much less intense than it was, and it's over fairly quickly because I have tools now to stop the spiral.

Readmore because the rest of this is really personal as in just talking about my own stuff with online majority female communities.

This realization brought to you by me realizing today that the kdrama community has a lot in common with the Sims 2 community of 2005-2012 and me knowing this time around that oh, wait, these are neurotypical young women from cultures probably more conservative than the one I grew up in, I am not going to mesh well with them, I should keep my observations about their community to the communities for autistic women where I feel more at home and things make sense usually and where people don't expect some kind of social performance that I will never understand.

Seriously though, there was a thread on the autistic women's community today about people calling you argumentative when you have a deep-seated need for the truth of a situation or yourself to be understood. I was like "My people!"

On the other hand in the kdrama community people are currently upset about murder mysteries in shows that also have romance, and I have learned that I should keep my observations and questions about that to myself.

[chanstopher]

pulls out a chair and sits in it captain america style because bestie i am about to give you a summary of my kpop journey. so essentially i had been listening to kpop but was not aware of it because i was listening to the japanese releases of kpop artists from my brother such as boa and se7en. funny enough, that will continue on when i made my first real foray into kpop: with big bang, it was through gara gara go, with super junior it was through super junior m’s blue tomorrow. i never really had a resistance phase and had more of a like, heading head first and going all in with diving into the content lol. it has been a little over a decade now which is crazy to think about. as to how i got into skz, it was through miroh back in 2019 which is why it has a special place to me besides being the absolute bop that it is. - helloskz anon

ohhhh inch resting!! mine was kind of an accident cause I went from anime to finding out they made live action anime movies ( shout out to Kento Yamazaki this is truly his fault) and then i went to jdramas to kdramas and i watched playful kiss, saw that google said hyunjoong made music and was like god this has to be terrible lets google it! and watched one of his mvs (it was not good) and then my youtube autoplayed not today by bts and i was like actually what is this tho this is way better lmao i spiraled with them for like 2 weeks and then got7 happened and i was in. ironically enough the reason i got into skz was literally just because they were under jyp with got7 and i was like oh cute! saw a gifset of changbin from like the first ep of the survival show, thought he was ADORABLE and then started watching from the 2nd lmao and i was totally a bin stan until i saw them in 2019 and chris cried and i was like i would die for that man and rip here i am

#drm.ask #helloskz anon

[crossroadsandloudmusic]

This piece is for @kdrama-i-nation. First off I want to apologize for how FUCKING long this took me to writ, I AM SO SORRY IT TOOK ME ETERNITY AND DAY TO FINISH THIS FIC FOR YOU. I’d like to also apologize for the shear SIZE OF THIS FIC AS WELL. I sorta fell in love with your request and decided to go all out, I sincerely hope it is to your liking. Please let me know if you’d like me to write anything else for you, I am so honored you chose me to write this for you❤️ Please enjoy!

Request are always open! Criticism/tips welcome!

Hotaru Haganezuka x Reader

warnings: slight angst, mentions of death, depression, anxiety, but otherwise just fluff and love confession, very sweet stuff.

Actively being chased pushes your body to do extraordinary things. Tanjiro knew this from experience as he had now been running for the last three hours; his pursuer hot on his tail. Twice now he had broken his nichirin sword.Once was almost forgivable, but twice? Now he would pay.

The maker of his swords was a passionate man, his work was art to him; he did not take lightly to someone destroying his masterpieces. Therefore Hotaru Haganezuka followed Tanjiro with dangerous intent. He had been since he first spotted him at the butterfly estate as he was recovering from his last mission. Hotaru did not care if he was injured, that only highered the chance that he would falter so he could have him in his grasp.

As Tanjiro fled from Hotaru’s reach his lungs and muscles burned. His ribs were still cracked, which caused an intense searing pain in his abdomen. Not knowing where to flee next, he went to the only place his safety would be guaranteed; his sister's estate.

As he continued to barrel through the woods, he started to recognize the landscape.

‘Right at the big oak tree with the twisted limb’ Tanjiro thought to himself. His turn approaching he ran harder. As soon as he was about to pass the entrance he extended his left leg and planted his foot into the dirt. Sliding in the loose gravel he turned his body to now face down the path on the right of the oak. Time seemed to slow as he began to run, looking down the way he came Hotaru’s hand was inches from grasping the flowing end of his haori. Caught off guard by Tanjiro’s sudden direction change, Hotaru ran past the path. Skidding to a stop, he turned and charged once more. Tanjiro had collected a sizable lead much to his delight, but this would be a crucial loss to Hotaru as he would now have to run harder and faster to catch up to where he was before.

Quite some ways down the narrow path, Tanjiro saw more clues as to how to get to his sister.

‘Cross the bridge over the small stream’. He thought to himself again. The bridge’s wooden boards creaked and jumped by his powerful footsteps. Not far behind Hotaru approached the bridge, as he too began to run across a board that gave way underneath his foot. Although this only stumped him for a fraction of a second, it was still enough time for Tanjiro to get a little further away.

‘Through the mimosa tree grove, then take another right at the fork’ He now almost whispered to himself, as he surged forward. Rushing through the grove, the fluffy flowers of the trees blurred into a spiraling pink tunnel. As he exited the grove he saw the fork in the road up ahead and hung a right. A mile further and he would have to ascend a steep hill, at the top his sister's home would be waiting. As it had only just begun getting dark, he hoped she would still be awake.

————————————————————————-

It was turning out to be a beautiful evening, the full moon illuminating the land in a soft blue light. You loved how the full moon made the wildernesses look, the blue hue made the leaves of the trees glow and the flowers in your garden sparkle. You breathed a deep sigh of relief as you hung your legs over the end of the engawa; swaying gently in the breeze.

Although your estate was beautiful and you spent your days selling herbs, you often felt lonely. Your life was calm, steady, safe; you concocted remedies from your herbs and sold your flowers when they were in bloom. But still you crave more, you want companionship. A friend that was more than an acquaintance, sure your brother and sister along with their two other friends would stop by when they got the chance, but you weren’t close to anyone other than them. Their visits had become few and far between since their duties as demon slayers became increasingly more demanding of their time. It was alright, though, you knew they had become a part of something much bigger and that made your heart swell in pride of having helped raise such brave people.

Quietly you slipped off the wooden edge of the porch, the grass cool with the evening dew. You decided that before you retired for the evening you would once again go and check the garden for any remaining weeds.

————————————————————————

Charging the slope of the hill, he was almost there.

“(Y/N)!! (Y/N)!!!” Tanjiro called as he topped the hill, he saw you on your knees sifting through the garden soil. As you heard the distressed screams of your name by a familiar voice you stood up. Then just over the top of the hill you saw the frightened face of your brother sprinting full speed towards you. Immediately you dropped everything in your hands and ran to meet him halfway. When you two met in the middle his exhausted body collapsed into your arms, you dropped to your knees and brushed the sweat soaked hairs out of his face.

“Tanjiro, what is the matter? Is something wrong? Is someone trying to get you? Tell me what the problem is.” You spoke calmly as he heaved deeply into your shoulder. Triggered by your questions he stood and gripped your hand.

“HOTARU HAGANEZUKA!” He shouted as he made another mad dash, except this time it was for your door.

Tanjiro dragged you alongside him as he ran, you tried desperately to run but your kimono was not made for this sort of activity. Still you did your best as it seemed if you did not Tanjiro would pull your arm out of socket. Once inside he slid the door as hard as he could and collapsed on the floor. Shocked from his panicked actions you bent down to his level.

“Tanjiro, please, tell me what has you all out of sorts. You are starting to worry me.” You spoke again in the same calm voice you had used before. He looked up at you desperately trying to find where to begin, when before he could utter a single word, heavy footsteps made their way onto the engawa. Tanjiro flinched and looked at you with terror in his eyes.

You stood to see if you could make out a figure in the light.

“Please don’t open the door, he’s trying to get me, (y/n.” Whispered Tanjiro.

“Oh Tanjiro, I’m sure that this is all a misunderstanding. Let me handle this, okay?” You said as you approached the door, you turned and gave him a soft smile before you slid it open.

————————————————————————

To much of your surprise, the person behind the door had been quite the rough looking man. Clothes disheveled, mask croaked, covered in dirt and drenched in sweat he stood there before you heaving.

“Oh my, sir, are you alright? Did you and Tanjiro have a disagreement? Sir?” You spoke to the bedraggled man. But he said nothing, instead he stood completely frozen. His heart jumped in his throat and although nobody could see a soft blush spread across his cheeks. You had been the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, your (h/c) hair perfectly hugged your face and flowed down your shoulders, your (e/c) eyes stared at him intently, your face conveyed a life of maturity and yet a softness that seemed so inviting. Your voice was what caused him to pause in such a way, it was so naturally tender and kind; you had spoken to him with such great concern it melted his heart. His only thoughts now were of you and your gentle smile.

“Sir?”

“Sir?”

“Sir, are you alright?”

Hotaru broke from his daydream when you grabbed his hand; holding it in between yours. He looked down and then looked back up to you. Without pause he dropped to his knees, bowing so deeply his nose was pressed against the wooden floor.

“Forgive me, madam. I greatly apologize for disturbing you at such an hour. Please forgive me.” He pleaded in a gravelly serious voice.

Perplexed by his sudden change in attitude, Tanjiro watched as he begged for your forgiveness. Once again smiling you bent down, and chuckled a bit as you tilted Hotaru’s head to meet your gaze.

“There is no need for such an apology. It’s not often I get guests, you know. Please come in for a little while, I’ll make us some tea so we can get this all sorted out.” You winked and held out your hands, Hotaru took them in his. Your hands were so soft compared to his, so small, held them carefully as if they were glass. Together you stepped inside.

————————————————————————

“Oh, I see. So that was the reason why you were chasing him so feverently.” You said in response after hearing Hotaru’s explanation as to why your brother had made such an unexpected but dramatic visit. You laughed slightly then responded,

“I suppose I understand the feeling, I doubt I would be very patient with someone if they broke something I had worked so hard to make for them.” You turned and cut your eyes toward Tanjiro in a playful way, he still seemed a bit on edge but less so since you two had been talking. He now seemed more confused than anything else. Which he had good reason to be, just minutes before Hotaru had been pursuing him, not once letting up. But now his attention focused solely on you, the eyes of his mask never leaving your face. He seemed to be entranced by you, soaking up everything you said, memorizing as much of you as he could. You were the most graceful thing he had ever seen. When you walked you seemed to glide across the floor, your footsteps never heard. When you smiled it lifted his heart even higher making it hard to swallow and speak. When you spoke your voice was so calm yet unwavering, it sent a chill down his spine. Even when you poured his tea, he noticed you put the smallest amount of pressure possible to tilt the pot.

‘How beautiful! How elegant! How gentle!’ He thought to himself. He continued to sing your praises in his mind.

‘Look at the way she carries herself! So strong! So patient! She is a master of her own design!’

Tanjiro noticed that Hotaru had a similar effect on you as well. He noticed you became flushed when he spoke of forging his swords, when he spoke of his dedication, and when he spoke of his passion. You giggled softly at times and hid your cheeks.

In your mind, you too had been complimenting Hotaru.

‘He’s so dedicated to his work! He takes such pride in his swords! He’s so passionate!’

Tanjiro had taken a mental note of the seemingly instant bond that had formed between you and Hotaru. An aggressive and wild man sat quietly for you. Not a rude word was uttered in your presence, especially none towards you.

————————————————————————

Several weeks had passed since that night, unfortunately Tanjiro had not had the chance to come visit you and it seemed Hotaru was back to his old ways of tormenting slayers who were unlucky enough to break their swords. Still though, the thought of yours’ and Hotaru’s interaction with one another remained in the back of his mind, so he decided to bring this dilemma up with the only person he knew that would know what to do.

“WHAT, YOU THINK HOTARU HAGANEZUKA HAS A THING FOR YOUR SISTER?!?”

“Shhh, Zenitsu, please keep your voice down.” Tanjiro whispered.

“I don’t know for sure, but the way they spoke with each other it seemed as if they were interested in one another.”

“Well, what do you suggest we do?” Questioned Zenitsu.

————————————————————————

The sun shine had been out all week, and Earth took notice. The birds chirped happily, bees bounced from flower to flower, the plants grew and flourished. Your estate began to look like a thriving jungle, the trees full of birds, the colorful array of foliage, most importantly your garden was producing vigorously. You beamed with pride as you looked at your handiwork, you had really turned this place into heaven on Earth. Taking a deep sigh you walked towards your well to bring up a bucket of water, all this weeding, watering, and harvesting had you somewhat parched. As you took large gulps you could feel the cool water already making you feel refreshed. You lowered the bucket back down the shallow well and went inside to change out of your dirty garden clothes into a fresh kimono so you could go to town and sell some herbs. At your door you heard a small thud and three small taps coming from the other side. Curious, you opened the door to reveal a small crow sitting patiently, a brown envelope under his foot.

“Well hello little one, is this for me?” You knelt down and opened the envelope. Inside was another letter addressed to you, this had been the fifth one this week and it was only Wednesday. After your meeting with Hotaru, the two of you began exchanging letters. You often wrote about what you experienced in a day and what your usual routines were, you both learned more and more about each other’s personalities. You sighed so deeply, hugging the letter to your chest. This truely was a dream come true, the perfect friend had been simply dropped into your lap. As much as you loved Hotaru as a friend, your heart swelled with the idea of you two someday becoming more.

Little did you know Hotaru waited with baited breath for your replies. Oftentimes in the middle of his work, he’d step outside to watch the skies to see if his crow was returning with another one of your soul nourishing letters. He had begun to run himself ragged with his constant pacing. He’d step outside and watch for a while and when his crow was nowhere in sight, he’d return back to the forge to continue work on his latest blade. Soon enough he’d return to watch again. He repeated this process far into the night till he forced himself to go and lay down. When he did, he stayed up far later rereading past letters of yours in the candlelight till eventually he’d pass out from exhaustion; letters still in hand.

————————————————————————

You made your way into the quaint village closest to your home, today was busy. The streets teeming with people, you hummed satisfied as you know you would sell all of your products today.

Walking into the open air market, you roamed the aisles looking at everything from fresh vegetables to hand woven kimonos. You loved this atmosphere, the smell of fresh foods, the spices; cheerful chatter from other customers, it made it all so beautifully simple. Quietly you decided that instead of buying you needed to start selling, therefore you left the fruit stand in front of you and made your way to find your own booth.

———————————————————————

“Are you sure this is the right place? It seems a bit crowded.” Asked Zenitsu, he knew you were a bit reserved and often spent your time alone tending to your garden. He found it hard to believe you’d be comfortable surrounded by so many people.

“I’m sure. She comes down here to sell her herbs and remedies, we just have to find which booth she’s in”. Replied Tanjiro as he searched the crowd for a familiar face.

“RIGHT THERE!!” Inosuke screamed, causing everyone in a 10 foot radius to jump. He cackled maniacally and ran towards you. You were none the wiser as you spoke with a woman who was curious about your miracle healing salve.

“COMING THROUGH! COMING THROUGH!” Bellowed Inosuke as he plowed through groups of civilians. Tanjiro and Zenitsu apologizing to those who had gotten stepped on and shoved.

Looking towards the commotion, you saw the all too familiar half boy half boar parting the sea of people. He ran towards you with his arms outstretched, when he reached you he wrapped his arms around your body and hoisted you into the air. He laughed triumphantly. You too had laughed as you knew sometimes Inosuke could misunderstand certain situations.

“TANJIRO I FOUND HER! I CAUGHT HER!” He hollered, still laughing. You turned to him and asked politely if he would set you down, he obliged and placed you gently back on your feet. Smiling, you patted the top of his mask.

“Thank you, Inosuke. I’m pleased to see you are as strong as ever.” You said, knowing such soft words and actions would render him catatonic.

“INOSUKE!” Both Tanjiro and Zenitsu yelled, anticipating him to be terrorizing you or someone else, instead he stood still as you smiled and chatted with him nonchalantly.

“(Y/n)!” Tanjiro called as he ran to you, embracing you in a tight hug.

————————————————————————

Today has been one of the best days in a while. You had sold a large amount of your products at the market, the boys and Nezuko were staying with you for the next couple days, and you were awaiting your next letter from Hotaru. You couldn’t have been happier.

“What have you been up to since the last time I was over?” Asked Tanjiro as he sat with you on the end of the engawa; Zenitsu and Inosuke are currently busy bathing in the stream behind the house.

“Not too terribly much I suppose. I’ve spent these last couple weeks as I have before tending to the garden and making my trip to the village once a week. What about you?” You spoke still, not taking your eyes off of the tree line where Hotaru’s crow would fly over.

“I’ve been on a couple missions, but nothing too serious...Have you had any visitors lately?” Tanjiro asked, hoping to get some information on whether Hotaru had been back.

“Not since you and Hotaru Haganezuka came by.” You said blatantly. Tanjiro sensed a small hint of sadness behind your statement. He had seen the way you and Hotaru interacted, he had hoped that the two of you were still in touch. It had been the first time you spoke with anyone like that since the massacre of your family. Soon after it happened, he had gone to train under Sakonji Urokodaki, this left you alone to grieve the loss of your family. You isolated yourself and refused to talk with anyone, choosing to suffer in silence. Years later, you had started to become your old self again. You made trips to the village and started a garden again, but still you had refused to open your heart. Several men tried, and none were successful; even a certain hashira had taken an interest in you but you paid them no attention. This was all of course before you had met Hotaru, that night he saw a change in you he hadn’t seen for a long time; one of willingness to open your heart again.

You stood from your relaxed position and stretched your arms. You smoothed down your kimono and looked once more above the trees.

“Tanjiro, I’m going to go pick some wild flowers. I’ll be back in a little while, ok?” You finally spoke again.

“Oh, alright, I’ll stay here to keep an eye on Inosuke and Zenitsu.” He replied as he watched you walk in and grab a small basket from the corner. Before you left you turned and looked at your brother.

“Thank you, Tanjiro.”

Slowly he watched you walk down the hill and out of sight, he sighed deeply because he felt as though maybe Hotaru was only being polite and he had not felt the same way towards you. Frustrated, he kicked his feet off the edge and swung them, searching his mind to find a solution to his problem. All of a sudden a small crow landed beside him, in his beak was a letter. The crow allowed Tanjiro to take it, flipping it over when he saw it was addressed to you. At the bottom it was signed by none other than Hotaru Haganezuka. Investigating the note he wondered if he should open it and read it, for your sake of course. But before he could question whether it was morally right to open your mail, a voice spoke up from behind him.

“Uh...what’s that?” Zenitsu asked, pointing at the letter in Tanjiro’s hand.

“Nothing!” Tanjiro said quickly as he shoved the letter into his chest.

“Is that a letter?! Who is it from?” Questioned Zenitsu as he reached for note. Tanjiro stood and held it above his head trying to keep it away from Zenitsu.

“It’s a letter for (y/n), we shouldn’t mess with it, it could be important!” Tanjiro warned, holding it up higher. From behind Inosuke jumped and grabbed the letter. Then he took off into the yard, laughing the entire way. Watching as he ran, Tanjiro and Zenitsu looked at each other with panicked faces. In an instant, Inosuke took off again, this time headed towards the woods. Not far behind him Tanjiro and Zenitsu ran to stop him from destroying the letter.

In the maze of trees Inosuke had easily confused them, climbing into one of the low hanging branches he closely investigated the envelope. The outside was made of brown paper, on the front he could see several words written but he hadn’t the slightest idea of what they meant. He pulled the white string tying it together loose and unraveled it. Inside were two neatly folded sheets of paper inside, on the sheets of paper were more words and symbols. Disgruntled, Inosuke huffed and folded his arms. Zenitsu had heard his frustration and located which tree he had fled to.

“INOSUKE GIVE THE LETTER BACK!! IT WAS ADDRESSED TO (Y/N)!” Zenitsu yelled looking up at Inosuke.

“Take it, it’s all words anyways.” Inosuke said as he jumped down from his perch and handed the letter over.

“YOU OPENED IT?!?!” Screamed Zenitsu, as he held the letter. Although it was rude to read something meant for someone else, Zenitsu’s curiosity got the better of him. Straightening the papers he read them to himself silently. From the contents of the letters he could tell that this had been intended to be romantic, flirty almost. When he reached the end of the second page he saw by whom the letter had been written by. He gasped and almost fainted. Such words had been written by Hotaru Haganezuka. A flood of emotions came over Zenitsu. This was great! Tanjiro’s plan to get the both of you closer would be much easier than anticipated! But he read the letter, Tanjiro would be upset, you’d be upset, and Hotaru; a deep shiver climbed up Zenitsu’s back, He had seen the way he reached over a broken sword, but this…this was personal, private, there is no telling what he’d do to him if he found out he had read his letter.

“ZENITSU!INOSUKE!” Tanjiro called as he made his way to them, then Tanjiro saw what Zenitsu held in his hand.

————————————————————————

“YOU READ THE LETTER!!” Yelled Tanjiro as Zenitsu apologized profusely.

“I’m so sorry, Tanjiro! I wouldn’t have read it had I know it was a love letter!” Tanjiro froze and turned to Zenitsu slowly.

“It was a...love letter?” He asked curiously.

“Yes, it was to your sister from Haganezuka. He confessed he missed her and had been thinking over her ever since they met.” Zenitsu blushed as he recanted the contents of the letter. Tanjiro huffed and sat down. He had seen this before. A man would confess his love for you only for you to tell him that you were not interested in love. Perhaps this time was different, he had seen you genuinely seem happy and enthusiastic. He huffed and rubbed his temples as he tried to think of something to do. Then the most devious thought came to his mind. What if he were to write back, pretending to be you and invite him over. There he would get the both of you to confess your love for one another. It was genius, he thought, and dangerous.

“Zenitsu? Will you help me?” Tanjiro asked as he held up the letter.

————————————————————————

“It’s a bit sappy, don’t you think? Maybe we should tone it down a bit or else he might find out it was someone else.” Tanjiro suggested this after hearing Zenitsu’s first draft of the fake letter.

“It has to sound real, Tanjiro. There has to be some passion, or else he might not come.” Tanjiro nodded and together they wrapped the letter up and sent it to Hotaru via Inosuke’s kasugai crow; the crow was relieved to have a moment where it did not feel it was in danger of being eaten. As the crow flew high above the trees and out of sight, Zenitsu sighed.

“Hotaru is going to kill us.”

————————————————————————

Hotaru had once again fallen into his anxious pacing, it had been hours since he had sent that letter. His crow had been back home for a while as well. Maybe you had gotten busy and just haven’t had the time to send one back? Or maybe you weren’t sending one at all? His heart dropped at the idea that he had scared you away. He had to admit he had shown a bit more of his true feelings towards you in that letter; little did he know, it was a letter you had not a clue about. Maybe it was all too much too fast and he had made you uncomfortable? He cringed at the mere thought of you being uncomfortable by his forwardness. Then as if a miracle had come to save him from his own thoughts, three small pecks came from the door. Hurriedly Hotaru rushed to the door and slid it open. Much to his confusion a very frazzled looking crow stood before him extending the letter. The bird was missing several feathers and looked as if it hadn’t rested in quite some time. Immediately growing suspicious, he knew that this was not your crow. Still he took the letter and examined it. The handwriting was not yours either, this only aroused his suspicion. Unwrapping the letter carefully, he took note of all the uncharacteristic features. The bow you usually tied to keep the letter secured was tied into a tight knot instead, so tight in fact, that he used a small blade to cut it open. He pulled out a single sheet of folded paper, you had always written two sheets, even more so you never folded yours into squares but always in triangles. The most damning piece of evidence so far was the actual letter itself. You never addressed him immediately in your letters, you always answered or continued the conversation from the previous message. Even more distressing you had never written with such coquetry, in the letter you begged him to come see you, to come be with you as you had adored his company and wished every night was spent with him. You had conveyed how desperately you had missed him and how he was constantly on your mind. A part of Hotaru wanted to believe that this is what you would say, but he knew better. Therefore the next morning he would leave to come and see for himself whether or not these had been your true words.

————————————————————————

Immediately after they had sent the letter, the boys began thinking of ways to hide the other. They thought of hiding it in plain sight, but knew you were far too observant than that. What about hiding it amongst the rest of the letters, but that was far too risky of jeopardizing the plan. Maybe in one of your books? No, you read too often for that. Before a decision could be made the boys were interrupted by you entering the house. Thinking quickly, Zenitsu shoved it into the back of his shirt.

In your hand you held a basket filled with wildflowers, one consisting of each color of the rainbow. You smiled as you greeted the three all of which stood before you with innocent smiles and arms behind their backs. Without looking at them you said,

“What did you three get up to while I was gone, hmm?” The color from Tanjiro’s face faded. Knowing he was almost incapable of lying Zenitsu spoke up,

“We trained for a little while in the woods! What about you? How was picking flowers?” Zenitsu asked almost a bit too enthusiastically.

“It was a beautiful afternoon, and with all this wonderful weather the flowers are growing so strong.” You replied as you filled a vase full of water.

“Tanjiro? Did a letter come for me today?” You asked, still not facing the young men.

A strained look came upon Tanjiro’s face as his morals started to gain control of his mouth and unleash the truth. Zenitsu answered for him.

“Nope! No letter here! Haven’t seen one all day!”

Now you turned and looked at the three, Tanjiro still straining, Zenitsu sweating and shivering, Inosuke picking his nose.

“That’s strange, I was expecting a letter this afternoon. Hm, I suppose I’ll be getting one tomorrow then.” You said as you began walking to the kitchen. Zenitsu and Tanjiro cringed at knowing you’d be getting a lot more than a letter tomorrow.

————————————————————————

Tanjiro had barely eaten and hardly slept the night before. His mind ran wild and his heart ached knowing he had lied to not only you but to Hotaru. Groggily, he arose from his bed and made his way into the main part of the house where you sat on the floor reading a book and drinking some tea. He sighed a soft sigh of relief as he was glad they had not decided to hide the letter in one of your books. You looked up at him and greeted him warmly, which only made him feel worse.

“Tanjiro, are you feeling alright? You don’t seem like yourself.” He looked at you, you seemed so concerned. Tears started to well up into his eyes. Taking notice of this you stood and embraced him.

“Oh Tanjiro, what’s the matter? What’s got you so upset?” You asked as you brushed the tears from his eyes.

“I...I…I just want you to be happy again!” He sobbed as he buried his head into your shoulder. Taken aback by his sudden emotions you held him closer.

“I am happy! I love my life here! I’m so sorry that my sadness has taken such a toll on you.” You spoke softly as you held his face and smiled at him. His tears are still flowing.

“I...I...I...I want...you…to be...happy...like you were...before everyone died!” He cried even harder now, waking Zenitsu and Inosuke. They both stood in the doorway and watched silently.

“Oh, I know. I wish I was too.” You held his face up again and stared at him.

“I promise I will one day. I will be for you and Nezuko.” You dried his tears and held him as long as he needed you to. Then you sat him down and placed in his hand a hot cup of tea, still sniffling. He took a couple small sips and calmed down. Seeing now that everyone was up, you figured it would be a good time to get started on making breakfast. Something Inosuke had been very excited about.

After everyone had sat down and had their bowls of soup, you too had eaten and intended on getting more invested into your book when a knock came from the door. The four of you, excluding Nezuko as she was sleeping, turned in surprise to the door. This was quite unusual you thought to yourself. Tanjiro and Zenitsu both trembled in anticipation.

“You one moment!” You spoke loudly as you stood from your comfortable reading position and started towards the door.

Now sweating Zenitsu trembled harder, he held onto Tanjiro’s haori. As you reached the door the tension had reached its peak as both of the boys held on to each other.

“Oh! Hotaru! What a pleasant surprise! Please come in and join us!”

————————————————————————

Sitting around the small table, Haganezuka glares at both Zenitsu and Tanjiro. Zenitsu trembled so violently he had accidentally spilt his cup of tea. Tanjiro sat with his eyes forward not once glancing over at him in fear he would attack him.

‘He knows’ thought Tanjiro, as Haganezuka growled under his breath. Tanjiro exchanged a worried look with Zenitsu that almost made him faint.

“Here you are Zenitsu, would you like another cup?” You said as you handed him a small towel to dry his lap with.

“Hotaru? Would you like another?” You asked sweetly which in return melted his heart.

“No thank you, this is fine. Thank you.” He said in the softest voice the boys had heard from him. They both turned slightly to see his reaction but quickly faced back forward when he growled at either of them.

You sat at the opposite end of Hotaru, your eyes gazed over his frame. Quickly you spoke up,

“How was your trip?”

“It was not bad, in fact it was very pleasant considering the weather. But I came all this way because I had something I wanted to discuss with you..” Hotaru reached his hand into the side of his yukata, but before he could finish his sentence Zenitsu cut him off by blurting out,

“HAGANEZUKA HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE YOU TO FORGE A NICHIRIN SWORD?”

You, Hotaru, and Tanjiro all stared at Zenitsu who was smiling sheepishly.

“A month, give or take. They last a lot longer when you wield them correctly as well.” Hotaru spoke matter-of-factly as he gave a bitter glare to Tanjiro.

His eyes wide, he dropped his head to stare at his lap.

“Anyways, as I was saying, (y/n), before I was rudely interrupted. I received a letter yesterday that I found interes-“

“Have you ever chased and caught a slayer that had broken one of your swords? What did you do to them?” This time Tanjiro asked, wearing a similar sheepish grin.

Hotaru sighed deeply.

“Yes and I beat him mercilessly. Does that answer your question?” He said in a dangerous tone. Tanjiro and Zenitsu both gulped and shivered at the thought.

Hotaru stood and pulled the letter out and threw it on the table.

“Enough! Yesterday I received a letter that clearly had not been written by you. I want to know, were these your words, (y/n)?” Hotaru asked in an almost desperate voice. Shocked by the scene that was unfolding in front of you, you cautiously reached for the letter in front of you. You pulled the single piece of paper out of the envelope and read it silently to yourself. When you finished reading you looked at your brother then to Zenitsu who was almost in tears.

“Do either of you have something you want to tell me?” Your voice is stern and unwavering. Instantaneously Tanjiro collapsed into a flood of tears as he explained everything.

“Okthatnightwheniranoverhererunningfromhimyoutwohadseemedinterestinoneanotherandthathasbeenthefirsttimeiveseenyousohappyijustwantedyoutoconfesshowmuchyoulovedeachothertooneanotherandthenyesterdaythatcrowdroppedthatletteroffandwereaditandididntwantyoutoshooawayhotarulikeyoudideveryotherguybeforehimsowewrotetheotherletterandsentittohimsohewouldcomehereandconfesshislovetoyouinperson'' Tanjiro rambled all into one breath still sobbing and begging for your forgiveness. Finally you spoke as Hotaru stood anxiously waiting for your answer.

“You were right, Hotaru. These aren’t my words.” Hotaru felt his heart sink.

“But they are true to my feelings. I have missed you deeply, and I do adore your company. Most of all I think I love you, Hotaru Haganezuka.”

Hotaru stood still, yet his heart pounded out of his chest. The fiercest blush spread from ear to ear under his mask. Calmly he removed his cloth holding up his hair, then his face mask; dropping them to the floor. Softly he walked over to you, he dropped to his knees and his arms wrapped around your abdomen. He buried his face into the crook of your neck and whispered,

“I love you too.”

#Demon slayer x reader #demon slayer requests #hotaru x reader #hotaru haganezuka x reader #Kny x reader #Hotaru Haganezuka x reader #Hotaru x reader #Haganezuka x reader #Hotaru Haganezuka

[sukisdeliveryservice]

hello!! could i kindly request for a student campus crush! wonwoo hehe and you’re best friends and have unrequited feelings but u dont know if he feels the same so over a sleepover u tried confessing and you can continue from there hehe -🐼

let me hear you say | j. ww

✎ pairing: best friend!wonwoo x female reader

✎ genre: collegel!au, friends to lovers!au, mostly fluff

✎ warnings: none!

✎ wc: 2.40 k words

✎ notes: hi 🐼 anon! i got a little carried away with this one because soft, cuddly wonwoo makes my stomach do flips but i hope you like it! i'm not sure how i feel about my portrayal of yn here because i wanted them to be really supportive of wonwoo but kind of having a hard time because of their feelings towards him. i hope i was able to express that without portraying them as kind of eh :/

“Don’t you ever get tired?” You take a quick glance at your best friend as he folds up another piece of paper with a phone number written on it.

“Of what?”

“Of everyone in this school falling head over heels for you,” You say like it’s the most obvious thing in the world, proceeding to look back down at your notes. In reality, you were trying to prevent yourself from looking at the cute (albeit, confused) way your best friend was staring at you over your abrupt question.

“Well I can’t say I’m not flattered, but there aren’t really that many people yn,”

A total lie, you think to yourself. Every time you two walked around campus, your best friend attracted the adoring stares of all your classmates like some hotshot celebrity. Yes, he was popular, and yes, he totally deserved it, but if everyone knew how dorky he was, maybe they wouldn’t be so quick to hand him their number after a single conversation.

Another lie, if everyone knew what a nerd Jeon Wonwoo actually was, they’d probably fall for him harder. You would know of course, first hand experience taught you a lot of things.

It taught you how endearing it was when Wonwoo wore oversized clothing, so that he could pull the sleeves over his palms when sipping on a hot drink at the local campus cafe. It made you realize his habit of pushing his glasses up his nose, because he was too stubborn to get the bridge adjusted. It made your insides melt whenever he was nervous because he had a habit of fiddling with his fingers. You were certain that if anyone was completely head over heels and absolutely smitten by him, it was definitely you.

“Not many people my ass,” you scoffed, “you spoke to her once, just once! And now you are holding her number.” Wonwoo laughs at your poor attempt at hiding your annoyance, “For your information, we were talking about a group project, and exchanging contact information. Nothing more, and nothing less.”

You gave a little huff before going back to pretend-studying, you definitely couldn’t focus when he was sitting right across from you. You knew you were more prone to jumping to conclusions nowadays, and you hoped that Wonwoo didn’t notice your shift in behaviour. In reality, you couldn’t help but feel a little pang of worry whenever your best friend was asked out on another date. And while he rejected the offer every time, you worried that one day he might say yes and you could lose him forever.

Not that you were against Wonwoo falling in love someday. If he found a good person that he wanted to be with for the rest of his life, you would support him in a heartbeat. It was just the selfish feeling that blossomed in your chest that prevented you from feeling any true happiness for these kinds of situations, and you hated it.

You knew that he would never abandon you completely, because Wonwoo was the best friend you could ever ask for. But you also knew that it would kill you inside to see him sweep someone else off their feet.

You’ve known Wonwoo since high school, and you definitely harboured a puppy crush on him all of first year. This was back when he was still trading pokemon cards in the gym stairwell and poking at you to buy him something from the milk vending machine. The crush went away eventually and you found yourself enjoying the rest of your high school career with your closest confidant by your side.

Once you both entered university, Wonwoo had a sudden growth spurt that now put him a total head taller than you. He no longer lurked at the stairwells during lunch and instead made lots of new friends that he went out for coffee with. He started dressing nicer, and once he exchanged his old glasses for a pair of round silver ones that rested on his nose so perfectly, he instantly transformed into someone straight out of a kdrama.

Now, you have caught feelings again. And you’re scared to admit that this time a puppy crush doesn’t even encapsulate everything you’ve been feeling lately. Of course Wonwoo’s sudden change in appearance didn’t spark anything new in your feelings towards him. It was the fact that he had a new air around him that was just completely different.

Wonwoo in high school was shy, and you loved him for who he was. You two had your own small circle of friends and you would spend all your time reading or playing games in his bedroom. Wonwoo in college however, was breaking out of his shell and being the first to approach people and make new friends. He was still introverted of course, shyness and introvertedness were two different things after all. But you were proud to see Wonwoo take the initiative to make plans more often and reach out.

Wonwoo has also gotten a lot more comfortable around you. He’s grown fond of resting his head on your shoulder after a long day of classes, and wrapping you in his sweaters whenever you came by his flat. In conclusion, everything about university student Wonwoo, was driving you, (and probably the entire campus) crazy.

“Hello? yn? Don’t you have a class soon?”

You swat away the hand that was waving in front of your face to meet the eyes of the cause of all your heart troubles. One smile from Wonwoo and you were in shambles. You had it really, really bad. “Right, right, sorry I was just...distracted.”

“We’re still on for tonight right? You can just head straight to my dorm after your last class.”

“Of course Won, did you really think I was going to miss out on another rewatch of Extraordinary You?”

“Of course not,” Wonwoo chuckled. You were met with another one of those soft gazes from him, and you immediately tried to break your stare. Something in your heart tells you that you should just confess right now, and that Wonwoo was a sensible individual who wouldn’t let go of your friendship if he didn’t feel the same way.

“Hey Won, can I tell you something after class later?”

“Of course.” There was that smile again. If you weren’t so busy trying to slow your heart rate down, you would have caught the way his eyes brightened at hearing your question, and the way he looked down to twindle with his fingers.

You give Wonwoo your own smile before heading off to your last detour of the day.

Sleepovers with Wonwoo always consisted of a mountain of blankets, a never ending pile of snacks and a show to watch before eventually both of you fell asleep. When you arrived at his flat just as he was adding the finishing touches to a home cooked dinner, you realized that sleepovers with Wonwoo also consisted of another thing: Your tragic inability to keep your heart rate down.

“Dinner will be ready in a bit, you can just wash up and get changed for now,” Wonwoo turns to greet you before adding some pepper to the tteokbokki.

You nod and head over to his bathroom, where you already find your change of clothes resting on the counter. Any outsider would have been under the impression that you and Wonwoo lived together, considering that pieces of you were scattered all over his apartment. From the matching toothbrushes that were kept by the sink, to the drawer reserved only for your clothes in his bedroom.

The only reason that you and Wonwoo didn’t room together upon entering university, was the fact that your parents were wary of you rooming with a boy you weren’t even dating. Not that it mattered now, considering that you at least spent two nights at his place away from your own dorm.

After you showered and changed into your pajamas, you realized that Wonwoo had given you one of his sweaters to wear, instead of the usual shirts you slept in. Usually you would have raided his bedroom after dinner to steal one (you slept much better when you wore his clothing) but this time it appeared that he had taken the initiative for you.

Once you stepped out of the bathroom, you saw that Wonwoo was already sitting at the dining table and was on his phone. It looked like he was texting someone, and you felt your heart sink a little when he laughed at a message. No, you are not going to be jealous. You are going to be happy for your friend because he deserves all the happiness in the world.

“Is that the girl from your group project?” You sat down across from him and started piling the tteokbokki and rice onto your plate. “Yeah, she said that the professor just sent out a mass email to our class, saying that we were going to be given an extension. Turns out that email was meant for another course, but everyone is already celebrating the new deadline.”

Wonwoo shuts off his phone and turns to you, “Was there something you wanted to tell me today?”

Right. You were going to confess your feelings. It was now or never, and you weren’t sure if you could hold it in much longer. “I can just tell you after dinner, I’m starving.”

Tragic. Tragic. Tragic. Why couldn’t you just say the words, “Hey Won, I have feelings for you, do you feel the same way?” Must you be in a spiraling paradox of questioning the presence of unrequited love in the relationship you had with your best friend? Yes, most definitely yes. Since the world likes to make everything difficult for those in love.

Dinner was eaten in a comfortable silence for the most part. You liked that you never felt the need to fill the air with more conversation whenever you were with Wonwoo. There were days where you would just sit in each other’s presence and do your own thing, and those days left you with lots of time to ponder on your feelings for him. Tonight was the night that you were going to say these feelings aloud for the first time...you just needed a bit more time to procrastinate.

After you both finished your food, you relocated yourselves to the couch. You fidgeted with the end of your (his) sweater while Wonwoo searched for the show on Netflix. You figured that you would let him know in the morning, since there was a chance that you two would fall asleep before the episode ended. And you didn’t want to confess beforehand either, in fear of having to endure a brutal one hour of awkward tension if he didn’t feel the same way.

“Who would have thought that out of all the days the wifi could have chosen to bail on us, they chose the day where we were going to find out whether Haru belonged to Dan-oh’s story or not,” Wonwoo fiddles with the remote some more, while you panic in silence at the thought of spending the night with no distractions from your feelings.

“It’s not like we don’t already know how it ends,” You take deep quiet breaths to calm yourself down, you can definitely make it through the night, “We can just do other things.”

“What do you have in mind?”

You couldn’t answer him right away. The only thing you had on your mind was the fact that Wonwoo’s hand was now resting on your knee and that it was baffling how good he could look in pajamas. Wonwoo, sensing your inability to form words nervously glanced up at you before moving the conversation in a different direction, “Look, I know you had something to tell me today yn, but I realized that I wanted to share something with you too. I am in love-”

“I am in love with you Jeon Wonwoo!”

There. You blurted out a long-awaited confession before the anticipation consumed you whole. You couldn’t tear your eyes away from your hands in fear of seeing the look on Wonwoo’s face.

“Let me hear you say it again.”

“What?” You turn to Wonwoo, who no longer looked nervous. Instead, he wore the biggest shit-eating grin on his face that made you want to both kiss and strangle him. “Say it again.”

“Not when you look like you just won the lottery you nerd, you didn’t even say-”

“I am in love with you too yn.”

Well, you were never one to complain about the fact that your feelings were returned. But the way Wonwoo was cooing at your adorable expression of shock only made you want to shove him off the couch.

Which you proceeded to do.

“Hey! Aren’t you happy that I like you too?”

“Of course I’m happy! You didn’t have to try to beat me to my confession though, tonight was going to be my night!”

“You didn’t seem like you were going to say anything for the rest of the evening! You were going to wait until the next day weren’t you?”

Absolutely yes. “No!”

Any remaining tension in the atmosphere washed away as you and Wonwoo made fun of each other on the living room floor. You were beyond relieved and a little giddy that your best friend in the whole wide world saw you in the way that you saw him.

“But on a more serious note Won, were you also going to confess tonight too?”

“Actually no, but once you came out of the washroom wearing my sweater, I just had to say it before I tackled you with cuddles or something.”

“You gave me your sweater instead of my clothes to wear!”

“I know!” Wonwoo was holding your hand now and rubbing circles into your palm. The idea of cuddling the entire night didn’t sound so bad. “But you looked all nervous and shy and I was hoping that you were going to be the one to say something first.”

“Can we just agree that we confessed at the same time?” As the adrenaline from the confession began to slip away you suddenly became very tired, and you were hoping to just spend the night in the arms of your favourite person.

“Deal. So can we cuddle now?”

#seventeen #seventeen x reader #jeon wonwoo #wonwoo x you #wonwoo x reader #seventeen scenarios #seventeen fluff #wonwoo #chanberriees request #chanberriees fic #seventeen scenario #wonwoo scenarios #jeon wonwoo x reader #wonwoo fluff

[lurkingshan]

Inspired by @waitmyturtles and @nieves-de-sugui, sharing my journey through BL! Putting this under a read more because I really found a lot of words on this topic. Feel free to skim at will - now that you got me going I have a lot to say!

First, a bit of background. Three big interests of mine really converged to make BL kind of a perfect storm for me:

Romance: I have been an avid consumer of romance stories as far as back as I can remember. When I was a kid I would read several books a week and before I even hit my tween years I always gravitated to the romance genre. Add in film and television and it's safe to say I haven't gone a week of my life without consuming some form of a story about two people falling in love. It is absolutely my shit.

Asian dramas: More recent but no less intense an obsession for me. I watched my first kdrama in 2019 - my favorite gossip blogger (shoutout to Lainey) was constantly posting about a drama on Netflix (It's Okay Not to Be Okay). So I decided to try it out and I instantly fell in love. Kdramas are written nearly exclusively by women, they respect romance as a genre, and they cater to female audiences. It was unlike anything I ever experienced watching Western media. I started watching them more frequently, then when the pandemic hit I found myself with a ton of time at home and a fun new focus issue, and watching dramas with subtitles was a huge help.

Fandom: Since I was a teen I was always kind of hopping in and around internet fandom. When I like something, I like to enjoy it with others and find community around shared interests. And when I'm frustrated with media, I really like to dig into that and explore ways to fix it, so I became an avid fanfic reader, as well. Fandom to fandom my level of involvement varied - sometimes I just lurk around fandom spaces, sometimes I actually develop a presence, and in one instance I even got deeply involved in a fandom community to the point where I was posting meta, writing fic, and leading fan activities.

ANYWAY, after that long preamble, I come to the point: Because I was so into kdramas, and had watched/read a lot of Western QL romances, when I saw Where Your Eyes Linger pop up on my Viki recommendations I clicked on it. I liked it, and immediately wanted to understand more about it, because it was the first kdrama I had ever seen with a same sex pairing, and the format was so different. So I did a bit of research, and that was the first time I ever heard of BL. I was a little mind blown - there's a whole genre of QL romances in Asia??? So of course I set out to find more. I did a general search and the first thing I found was 2gether. This was June of 2021, so it was already about a year following the initial frenzy of that show, but it was still hugely popular and there was fan content about it everywhere. So I journeyed to YouTube to watch it, and that was my introduction to Thai BL and the wider genre.

From there I started looking for guidance on what to watch, and because of my time in various fandoms tumblr was always a go-to place where I knew I could find other people watching whatever obscure thing I was into. I found @absolutebl quickly and started reading their history and analysis posts on the genre. That was when it really sunk in for me how much culture and history there was to dig into, and I was really intrigued by the different styles and industries of each country. So I started working my way through their lists of the top 10 BLs from each country and it all just kind of spiraled from there.

I will not go into detail about every show I watched, but a few highlights:

TharnType: This was the first high heat BL I ever saw, and because I came over from kdramas, the first high heat Asian show I had seen, period. This show is messy and the writing was a hilarious hodgepodge of strong character work alongside absurd plotting and what I came to learn was typical Mame problematic content, but the chemistry between the leads was off the charts. It really set the bar for me in that respect, and got me looking for other examples (which at that time were mostly from Taiwan).

Theory of Love: This one inspires mixed opinions in fandom, but for me it was the first time I realized a Thai BL could not only be fun, but also good (no disrespect to other early Thai BLs but... yeah lol). There was a coherent emotional narrative arc! Smart story structure! Believable character development and earned redemption! Good actors! This one set me on a path to find the good stuff.

I Told Sunset About You: Which led me to ITSAY, the drama that convinced me BL could also be high cinema and art. This show blew me way, honestly. And got me more interested in finding the other more cinematic entries in the genre, which I mostly found from Japan.

The Untamed: When I saw this one on the list for China, I was like wait why have I heard of that? The Untamed/Mo Dao Zu Shi is one of those fandoms that is so big and ubiquitous, anyone who spends time online will have heard of it long before they know what it actually is. This show opened up a bunch of new fixations for me - a new all-time fav character, an introduction to cdramas and the xianxia/wuxia genres, and the discovery of Chinese web novels. It's a very expansive universe with a lot going on outside the romance, unlike most BLs. Which I guess can be good or bad, depending on your perspective.

Bad Buddy + Semantic Error: These are the shows I credit for fully sucking me into the BL fandom on tumblr. Before BB aired, I was just kind of lurking about (it’s right there in the handle, fam) checking a few blogs periodically for recommendations and watching shows at my own pace. But BB and then SE caused such a frenzy that I decided to start watching them live and checking tumblr every week for reactions. I found more excellent blogs (like @bengiyo @negrowhat @laowen @liyazaki) that were posting not only BB and SE content but also commentary about other shows. Eventually I gave in and created a new tumblr account so I could actually follow them instead of going to their blogs on web browser like a weirdo, and my participation in fandom escalated predictably from there.

By early 2022 I had pretty much caught up on most of the history of the genre (though not everything - I refuse to watch Waterboyyy, I do have some standards) and developed a fairly solid understanding of the cultural context around it. I then started trying to keep up with new shows. As a cishet, it wasn’t the thrill of representation that drew me into the genre as much as the thrill of finding a genre that brought together so many of my favorite things, combined with the excitement of seeing the community grow and getting the chance to learn so much from the brilliant people who were watching these shows. Checking reactions to airing shows became a weekly habit, and my watchlist kept getting longer and longer. I learned about which platforms I should be watching on and where to direct my $$ to support the genre. And I heard about so many shows I never would have known existed without this community.

So that’s me! If you made it to the end of this post you are a true champion. Thanks for inviting the conversation @waitmyturtles - it was fun to reflect!

#shan’s journey through BL #more than anyone wanted to know #shan shouts into the void

[killerandhealerqueen]

Kang Yohan thinks he's a nobody wanted after gaon leaves the mansion , saying soohyun is his world. And Yohan thinks he doesn't deserve anyone, let alone gaon. He's a nobody wanted. Eventually gaon finds out and .....(you know...)

I recently finished The Devil Judge and ep 12 hurt me so much, which made me cry so hard. (I've never cried over a kdrama but this was an exception)

Please can I get headcanons for this one?

Ah, episode 12...a gut wrenching episode, anon, I feel you. Of course you can get some headcanons for this

After Gaon leaves, Yohan just sort of becomes a shell

He's been abandoned...again. First by his brother now by Gaon

He understands, he supposes, but it still hurts...Gaon was the one good thing in his life and now it seems the good thing has been ripped away. It's not like he didn't drive Gaon to make the choice but still

So he just sorts of mopes around the house and Elijah hates it. She hates seeing Yohan like this and she wants Gaon to fix this because Gaon's good at fixing things but Gaon's the reason for her uncle's unhappiness so she can't really ask him to fix this because how can he fix what he broke without making it worse?

So Elijah and Yohan are both kind of miserable because Gaon's not there but Yohan's more miserable because now he's sort of spiraled/sunk into this mindset that he's unlovable/no worthy of love because if Kim Gaon can't even love him/doesn't want to be around him...then who would?

At work, when Gaon sees Yohan for the first time since he moved out, he's stunned. Yohan looks terrible, like he hasn't slept at all. His heart clenches and he wants to talk to Yohan and ask him if he's okay but he then remembers what he did and how he left and he feels like he has no right to go and talk to him

So both men don't say anything to each other, but they keep throwing glances at each other when they think the other isn't looking. Oh Jinjoo and the camera crew think something's going on but they can't really put their finger on it and they don't wanna ask because that'll be awkward

The whole day is sort of awkward for everyone but no one says anything or mentions anything because not only is Yohan upset, he's also in a mood and sort of...snapping at everyone? And no one really wants to get their heads bit off so they just kind of let the awkwardness linger

Later that night, as Gaon's working or reading, his phone rings so he looks at it and is surprised to see that Elijah's calling so he quickly answers it because you know, he's a good dad, he's concerned

"Elijah? What's wrong?"

"It's Yohan! He won't stop moping around the house and I hate it! He hasn't stopped moping since you left! Fix it!"

Gaon is stunned because he knew something was wrong with Yohan but he had no idea that he was the reason behind the problem. And while he doesn't really want to go back to the Kang mansion because he doesn't know if he's welcome, Elijah sounds so upset that he just sighs and agrees to fix it before hanging up

Gaon quickly packs a bag and heads out the door, only to find a car waiting for him. He looks inside and finds Ms. Ji waiting for him and he's surprised but she just explains that elijah gave her a call and explained the situation

Gaon nods slowly and gets in the car, Ms. Ji driving him to the mansion

When they arrive, Gaon gets out of the car and makes to open the door when it all but swings open and Elijah is waiting there. She then grabs his hand and drags him into Yohan's study, where Yohan is moping

When Yohan sees Gaon, he bristles because what is he doing here and before Gaon can explain, Elijah tells him that she can't stand to see him acting like this, it's getting annoying so she got Gaon to fix it. She then wheels herself out of the room and leaves Gaon and Yohan to do their thing

Yohan and Gaon stare at each other before Yohan turns away and tells Gaon to leave

Gaon shakes his head and takes a step forward when Yohan spins around and glares at him

"I told you to get out!"

"No! I'm not going to leave. I left once, I'm not going to leave again"

Yohan is stunned because isn't Soohyun his world? Why is he not spending time with her?

Gaon huffs before he explains that Soohyun is more of a comfort zone for him...it's all he's really known. Soohyun is safe while Yohan is danger and when he panicked, he chose safety

He then goes on to apologize because he had no idea that his leaving would hurt Yohan this badly and he was really only thinking of himself and not about Yohan and Elijah

"I'm sorry"

Yohan is stunned by the apology before he sighs and admits that when Gaon left, he sort of spiraled and thought that nobody wanted him because if Gaon didn't want him, then who would

Gaon is horrified that Yohan would think that way and immediately embraces him because my god, he made this strong man feel like this?

Yohan sort of melts into the hug and they stay like that for a while and that's when Yohan realizes that he's wanted and that he's loved because Gaon cares enough to come back, especially when he hears that Yohan is spiraling/moping

Gaon and Yohan just sort of spend the evening together, with Gaon holding Yohan and whispering over and over that he's loved and that he's wanted and Yohan believes him

#sass answers #anon edition #the devil judge #kang yohan #kim gaon #kang elijah #lawful husbands #gahan #the devil judge headcanon

[junko-and-riri-domain]

˚₊·˚ “babes” | ot7 ˚₊·˚

↬ pairing: ot7 x reader ↬ genre: fluff | drabbles | scenarios  ↬ warnings: none ↬ w/c: 1.3k ↬ requested by: 🤍 ↬ request was: Hihii I was wondering if you could do enhypens reaction to calling them things like baby or my love in your native language (excluding English and Korean) ↬ a/n (a few things !!)

since i clearly don’t what “my love” in everyone’s native language “babes” is the place holder word and you can imagine it as whatever “my love / love” is in your language !! also i haven’t done an ot7 post in a while so these might be kinda bad and lowkey might not make any sense 💔

also, the 500 followers event is closed (unless you decide to send one in tonight then i’ll still write it 👀 !! ) but somehow we hit 800 followers today !! how this blog managed to get like 200 followers while i was ia is beyond me 😭

but thank you everyone 🥺 i’ll be writing requests from the 500 followers throughout the week and responding to asks as well <33 

˚₊·˚♤˚· lee heeseung ˚₊·˚♤˚·

late one night you and hee are laying in bed, unable to sleep so you ask him,

“babes, wanna eat some ramen?” he’s like yes, ramen !! but wait,

“babes?” he asks. “isn’t that fish in russian?” (like that whole “te amo” means “i love you” in tagalog / filipino even though it actually means ‘i love you’ in spanish. but yeah, he’d probably think it was something completely different in another language lmao) once you realized what you just called him you tell him,

“it doesn’t mean fish, it means love in [insert your language].” the dots connect in his head and all of a sudden,

“i babes you,” you hear. you can’t help but smile at him and laugh a little because,

“that’s not how the grammar works, but at least you tried.” from then on if he wanted something from you he’d do aegyo and would say.

“babes, please !!”

˚₊·˚✎˚·  park jongseong / jay | self indulgent jay mini fic somewhat related to this req ˚₊·˚✎˚· 

you’re chilling with jay one day and all of a sudden,

“hey, babes can you hand me the remote?” you ask. suddenly he’s frozen in place, looking at you like,

“did you just call me love in [insert your language]?” you look at him, slightly tilting your head to the side and you’re all like,

“huh, i guess i did.” in his head, his mind is going crazy because what ?? you l-word him ?? but then you’re just like,

“wait, how do you know what that word means?” and then he gets all flustered and begins to ramble.

“i went on a YouTube spiral at four am, and, uh… uhh… yeah, i just heard it. it sounded unique so i sorta just remembered.”

“when?”

“like, a few weeks ago.”

“what were you watching?”

“the basics to [insert your language] 101.” you’re shocked but not really since jay is basically a language genius. but now your heart feels all fuzzy and warm because he’s learning your language.

˚₊·˚ ✁˚· sim jaeyun / jake ˚₊·˚ ✁˚·

if anything, you probably didn’t call him babes first. why? because you said it to layla. you stopped by jake’s place before the both of you went to your parent’s place. since you haven’t seen layla in a while, she instantly captured your attention (like she so rightfully deserves).

“babes, i missed you!” you say as you smile while petting her and seeing her tail wag in happiness. jake looks at the sight of the two loves of his life and can’t stop the way his heart flutters a little. he doesn’t want to ruin the moment but he wants your attention so he ends up sort of sitting on the ground next to layla and peeks up at you with wide eyes and a smile.

“babes?” he asked. you end up also sitting on the floor, layla settling onto your lap,

“it means love in [insert your language].” he frowns,

“you said you love layla before saying you love me?”

“who says i love you?” he gets kind of pouty because he knows that you love but he wants to hear it. some time passes and when you’re at your parent’s house, you’re talking to them and you tell them in [insert your language],

“i love jake.” he hears the word and his name in the same sentence. so he takes a chance and using the same sentence you said but with your name he says,

“i love ___.”

˚₊·˚ ❆˚· park sunghoon ˚₊·˚ ❆˚··

it probably slipped out in a moment of panic while the two of you were ice skating. sometimes you slipped into [insert your language] due to a surge of various emotions, sometimes anger, fear, or frustration. sunghoon had asked if you wanted to go on a date to the new rink that just opened and you said yes because ice skating with hoon, how could you miss the opportunity ?? he was holding your hand and skating to your pace trying to teach you how to ice skate. but somewhere down the line, he ended up letting go without you realizing it (like when you ride a bike and the person behind you holding the bike lets go !!) so you turn around, eyes wide at the distance between you and sunghoon and you’re like,

“YAH, BABES YOU SAID YOU WOULDN’T LET GO,” and all of a sudden you lose your balance. thankfully, sunghoon being the great skater that he is manages to get to you and holds so you so that you don’t fall. you’re clutching onto his jacket, trying to catch your breath, “i hate you,” you mutter. he smiles as he moves your hair to get out of your face,

“yeah, keep telling yourself that. wait? what does babes mean?” he asks.

“it means love in [insert your language].” suddenly, ice king composure melts. heart going a hundred miles a minute. mind is all like wait what? he accidentally loses his footing and balance, falling while taking you down with him but you’re fine since you landed on top of him.

“are you ok, babes?” he asks to at least try and keep some cool because even though you’re in an ice skating rink, it suddenly feels as if things just got a hundred degrees hotter.

˚₊·˚❂˚· kim sunoo ˚₊·˚❂˚·

he had been interested in learning about your language and culture, mostly for the food… but a+ for effort, right? he would often ask you, “what does this mean?” “what does that mean?” that kind of stuff, since he was genuinely curious. he picked up a few words here and there, occasionally using a word that he knew in a sentence while talking to you. your family asked you to bring him over for a family gathering / party situation sometimes it felt like they liked him more than you. you were sitting down with a plate of food,

“babes, can you hand me a napkin?” suddenly, your and sunoo’s ears are filled with the sounds of “OOO” and your family begins teasing you. to yourself, you’re just like, did i really just call sunoo… but when you look at sunoo his smile is the widest it’s ever been

“you called me love, matji, matji?” (matji meaning like “right” in korean, idk it just felt right to spell that out here ok anyways)

“how did… how did you know?” and he does that thing where he kind of giggles,

“you just confirmed it!”

˚₊·˚✧˚· yang jungwon ˚₊·˚✧˚·

one night jungwon was dropping you off to the front of your doorstep to make sure you got home safe and sound. you were trying to be cute and said,

“saramhae” (saram means person in korean, but what you really meant to say was, “saranghae” which means i love you in korean). jungwon then does that thing where he smirks at you, tilting his head slightly, and he says,

“nado saramhae, babes.” (so like “i love you too, [love in insert your language]” but it’s saramhae because that’s what you said at first) but then,

“babes?” you ask. he plays it off by saying,

“i’m the leader, i need to learn how to communicate in different languages for engenes.” but really it’s just secret language learner pt. 2 exposed.

˚₊·˚⍢˚· nishimura riki / ni-ki ˚₊·˚⍢˚·

ni-ki’s head was on your lap, eyes closed since he was taking a nap and decided your lap was the best thing to claim as his pillow. you needed to get up so to wake him, you poked his cheeks,

“ni-ki,” you said. nothing.

“riki-ah?” this time as more of a question while lightly patting his hair. also nothing.

“babes, if you don’t wake up i’m gonna shove you off my lap.” suddenly, his eyes open and he looks up at you which causes you to jump back in your seat slightly.

“bae-ehbs?” he asks, trying to sound out the word.

“uh huh.”

“wait doesn’t that mean, love?”

“no… it means pabo,” you reply playfully. (pabo meaning like dum dum / stupid in korean, but it’s not meant to sound offensive here !!)

“no it means ‘love’ jay hyung told me about that word when i started dating you.”

“well, if you knew then why’d you ask?”

“wait, so it actually does mean love?”

“you just said jay told you!”

“yeah but i didn’t believe him.” at the confirmation of the word’s true meaning, he feels happy and kind of giddy at the new name he’s earned for himself from you. like heeseung, he’d use it to get something that he wants from you but instead of aegyo it’s more like teasing.

↬ a/n pt. 2 + semi tmi: i speak two languages and i suck at both, english and my parent’s native language. two & a quarter if you count the bare minimum of spanish i learned from taking it during the first two years of high school and the few words of korean i picked up from kdramas lmao 😭

❦ written by riri ( @enhykkul​ ) | blog masterlist | blog navigation

↬ tagging: @bloom-bloom-pow​ | @markleepooh​ | @sunshineshouchan​ (permanent taglist is open if anyone wants to be in it !!)

#enhypen imagines #enhypen fluff #enhypen drabbles #enhypen scenarios #enhypen x reader #enhypen ot7 #enhypen ot7 fluff #lee heeseung imagines #park jay imagines #sim jake imagines #park sunghoon imagines #kim sunoo imagines #yang jungwon imagines #nishimura riki imagines #ni-ki imagines #lee heeseung x reader #park jay x reader #sim jake x reader #park sunghoon x reader #kim sunoo x reader #yang jungwon x reader #nishimura riki x reader #ni-ki x reader #park sunghoon fluff #park jay fluff #park jongseong imagines #sim jaeyun imagines #yang jungwon fluff

[deathlygristly]

Talked to the spousal person tonight at dinner about the weirdness of how other people online interpret the Korean dramas we watch. Like how so many people seem to be strongly invested in predicting the worst possible things for Extraordinary Attorney Woo, saying there will be relationships and endings that don't make any sense according to the text of the show and that would require the writers to show a level of disregard and disrespect to the story and the characters that the first 12 episodes have not shown at all.

I've seen a fair few of them reference 2521 as a reason for their doomer outlook, but 2521 was very up front from the first episode that the main couple would not be together in the present time. You don't have to like it, and you can have problems with how they reached that ending, but the show telegraphed the ending from the beginning like a raid boss telegraphing attacks on the easiest raid level.

I tried looking up stuff about it today but all the search results about media literacy are about being able to discern fake news. Which I guess they are related - if you have this much trouble understanding a fictional story and how it works, you probably have trouble picking up on really obvious propaganda too. Like the spousal person said, kdramas are not subtle and their story formula is not especially complex.

It's also weird how so many people nitpick every line and movement for a Moral Lesson, how they seem to think that the characters reflect the personal worldview of the author, and how they'll get into Discourse over the smallest word or gesture.

Like I can tell how much I've healed because back in the day I wouldn't feel safe around these people and reading their takes would start me down the scrupulosity spiral, like am I a horrible person who doesn't know how to human right because I do not fit their extremely rigid idea of perfection at every moment of my life?

But I am old enough and healed enough now that I can consider the idea that maybe they aren't absolutely right and maybe they're young and inexperienced and maybe they've spent their formative years in radicalized online enclaves in which their beliefs get more and more extreme.

And also maybe that the character in the penultimate episode of Jinxed at First who said he never went on the internet because it was frustrating and people said all sorts of things was right. Sigh. But I want to talk about Woo!!! I want to read other people's thoughts and feelings and analysis and everything! And usually discussions about kdramas aren't this weird and intense and usually people aren't so negative and nonsensical with their predictions about the shows. I don't know.

#long post #dgpersonal

[thisdreamplace]

30 Days of Manifesting the Mental State (Part 1)

Guidelines:

- Focus on manifesting the mental state of who I desire to be

- Let the external world be, the internal world has all my focus

Why?

I was inspired by this short post:

Decide to Manifest the Mental State

My goal with this was to manifest my ideal mental state in regards to whatever I deem important to me, so this was a heavily self concept based challenge. Compared to the challenges I did in the past, where I was interested in physical manifestations.

Reflection:

Y’all, if you feel like you’ve done all you can do and you’re stuck, try this challenge. lmao You will be fucking read to filth. And it’s the best thing ever.

During the first week, I really got shown myself. Before this challenge I thought I was good with not taking the 3D too seriously. By implementing this challenge, I realized how much I actually paid attention to it for validation. Given this challenge is all about manifesting the mindset, I could no longer use the 3D an excuse for why I’m upset or wonder why I see no changes. Because I only had one job and that’s to manifest the mindset, no matter what the 3D shows. I often would remind myself, “I need to conform to myself first.” This helped me to stay on track during the first week.

Plus, I realized, once again I was slacking on everyone is you pushed out as a concept. It really was difficult for me to take responsibility for others. But thanks to this challenge, I couldn’t put this concept on the backburner anymore. And I know if I want the people in my world to change for the better, I must change for the better within first. Once again, “I need to conform to myself first” was such a solid reminder. How could I look at the 3D in disappointment, when I hadn’t even conformed to myself first? This is still a work in progress, but it’s at the forefront of my mind now instead of an afterthought.

After about the first week, things got easier. I read a couple posts that really clicked for me and it honestly became chill af after that. Things started moving more in my life. It’s honestly so weird how the law works. This shit really is subtle as hell, it’s so natural when your world starts conforming you barely even notice. There’s so many things that happen in a day that align with my new conception of self and it’s difficult to remember them all.

But basically, I moved into an entirely new state. Like, things just are not the same for me mentally or with the way I feel. Like... how do I explain this? Basically, my desired self concept has become so natural... a lot of my state of lack habits have disappeared. And I didn’t even expect that to happen. Like, getting worked up about how long it’s been... wondering if I did something wrong... like all of that just vanished. I feel extremely... fulfilled and satisfied. I actually know I did everything I could do. So what else is there to do? I don’t feel the need to search for more anymore. I truly feel satisfied with my mental efforts. I have done my best, now all that is left to be done is to live and allow life to do it’s thing, really.

On the final week, I hit a wall. It was like I simply could not shake the anxiety. Each day I was thankful it came to an end, hoping for a more pleasant following day... that didn’t come. The emotional rollercoaster! I would go from “it’s okay, I don’t need to analyze how I’m feeling” to “okay, wtf is going on????” I was a mess, but as always, I persisted. I know there’s mixed opinions on this, but from my experience I definitely have moments where my mind is purging the old story. And it’s difficult as fuck. I’m not going to pretend it doesn’t exist because someone out there might be going through the same. I want y’all to know, we can make it through to the other side.

During those days, I had these moments where I can actually feel myself as God? And it’s not this super powerful feeling. It’s been more... calm and peaceful. Like I just know I am taken care of. Honestly, it usually only lasts in glimpses. But that’s okay. Because I know I am just uncovering that part of me more and more. It’s actually so exciting.

From experience, I know every dip like this on my journey has lead to more mental and emotional freedom. So even though in the moment it feels like absolute meaningless torture, I know it makes sense and it’s happening for a good reason.

But this is where I left off. The challenge ended before I was able to make it through the low moment. So now, I am just going to revamp this challenge with a part 2, with everything I have learned about myself from it.

Best Self Concept Manifestations:

- I have felt more fulfilled than I ever have in my life. And I did that on my own. Pretty fucking great. 

- The main theme on my journey has continued to improve: love. People LOVE me. Like they LOVE me lmao. I constantly get compliments on not only my appearance but also my character and who I am as a person. My ideal life is entirely in view, I can see the destination now.

- Not needing to constantly read about the law anymore. This is my favorite, because I love the law. lol So, when I deleted Reddit and actually had weeks pass where I didn’t feel the need to redownload it, it was like wow. I know everything I need to know. There’s nothing else to read. I have my comfort/motivation posts, and I would go back to those time to time. But I have very little interest in the search for “new” information now. There’s nothing else to learn, there’s only concepts to apply.

- Despite the downward spiral, I can say I have definitely seen improvement in my bounce back from the 3D circumstances overall. I have my moments, of course, but overall it’s definitely become easier for me to remember this world is malleable and nothing is set in stone.

- Kdramas. LOL I always end up watching one that aligns with my journey, which is cool af. I started “When the Camellia Blooms” while on this challenge and it was funny because my sister watched in months ago. And she was like, “Dongbaek (the female lead) is the character I said you remind me of.” Which was such a huge compliment. She’s literally what I strive to be? Loved for no reason other than existing and super pretty. LMAO She’s simply adored and unforgettable, simply because she is. That was such a boost to my work on my self concept. It may not sound like the best manifestation ever but for me it was motivation to keep persisting. If I can see it, I can have it. Period.

Conclusion:

This isn’t over yet. I am moving into part 2 of this challenge as we speak, which will be similar but with a more precise focus. So in conclusion, all I can say is try it for yourself. It’s definitely worth it.

Resources That Inspired Me the Most During this Challenge:

Nothing Outside Will Help You Change Your Mind

Dissolving Fears to Manifest Effortlessly

Self Concept, Self Love, and States

Hug Your Inner World Tight

#journey