#stuff like that is very important especially if you are doing that work fulltime | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

whetstonefires · 1 month

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Hi, I like your mdzs meta (and am interested in the hopefully forthcoming yzy meta) but even that of fandoms I’m not in (your final fantasy meta about the differences in canonical vs fanonical sartorial choices due to coding was enlightening, and I didn’t even know it was dark.) For the ask game: 🦷🐇 🦴 P.S. if you haven’t found it the eldest sibling cinematic universe is all tagged naruto?

thank you! :DDD i do meta posts primarily because i Have Thought that wants to be heard, but it's delightful for it to actually be wanted lmao.

i have filtered my blog for 'naruto' through three different methods without finding the ask where i was asked to crosscast mdzs and naruto. it is a Hidden Value for some reason. if someone finds it, please send me the link through dm or something.

haha only white things! three white items! tooth-bunny-bone.

🦷 ⇢ share some personal wisdom or a life hack you swear on

So when you own a lot of stuff it is so so important to store it in the most organized way you can manage, because the [task burden] of finding the desired item needs to be low enough to keep you from giving up on finding your own things when you want them, because that makes them useless to you.

This is especially important for things like craft supplies and hardware. Put the same kinds of things together, in a closed, clearly labeled container, with some kind of internal partitioning by sub-category, as much as you possibly can.

Take as much of the burden of locating your possessions off Future You as you can; I know it feels like a tiresome outlay of effort in the present keeping you from dedicating the time to actual [activity], but once you make a habit of it it's very much a stitch-in-time-saves-nine that will make [activity] more accessible to you.

This doesn't mean you need to Buy Product, although some of the stuff that's sold for organizing can be very useful. I keep all my embroidery floss in a small wooden chest I bought at a tag sale, sorted by color family into little plastic baggies. So it's fairly trivial now to go in and see 'what reds do I have?' choose one.

Then I transfer the hanks I'm using for my current project into the transparent plastic box with a snap-on lid I got for one dollar from Michaels Crafts, where the embroidery needles live fulltime, and bundle just that into a basket or bag with the hoop and fabric, while the rest of the chest can go back in the closet until it's time to put the remainder away again. Maneuvering the box physically in and out of the closet becomes the hardest part of accessing the materials.

The ability to pick up and move a whole project at once is also very valuable for anyone without like, a whole designated Crafting Area in their space. And for people who do have that, but are always being impeded by their own clutter.

If you have a basket or tray or something you can stack all of a given project onto and whisk away to clear your worksurface at need, you'll be much more likely to actually commit to working on that project when you want to, without feeling burdened by the future opportunity cost of having to completely finish and/or abort progress on it if something else comes up.

Probably not everyone gets stuck on that, especially people who only work on one thing at a time, but I think there are enough people like me that giving yourself permission to use the 'sewing basket hack' is valuable. There are big downsides to burying yourself in stuff in the effort to keep it all near to hand and accessible, but there are also definite, meaningful costs to having to put everything away in its Own Place every time you're interrupted, especially if you have trouble with any part of executive function.

🐇 ⇢ do you prefer writing original characters, reader inserts, or a mix of both?

Egad I have never attempted a reader-insert in the contemporary style. Honestly, I can't stand them.

Writing in the second person is all well and good for textural reasons, but as a way to 1) compensate for the evidently dreadful imagination skills of the audience and 2) shield the writer from responsibility for their own writing choices, I consider the 'reader insert' to be an overall cowardly and limiting construct.

I would much rather see a fic that instructs me to understand myself as a four-foot-tall electric blue parrot than one that attempts to narrate a 'me' generic enough to be plausible to any potential reader; when the 'you' is a giant parrot with discernible preferences and goals it is, of course, an original character.

In fact, so is every reader insert, they're just usually terrible ones. Attempting to write an OC with no traits is so sad.

Anyway I'm fully capable of projecting myself onto a parrot if I want. Otoh I'm not shameless enough to publish old-fashioned self-insert fic, which is a different less craven stylistic approach to the same goal, which is only partly because I was trained on anti-OC backlash and mostly because my standards are such that the few attempts are either 1) plotless exercises in self-gratification which aren't worth finishing once the fun part of drafting the entertaining scene is done or 2) agonizingly honest. I don't feel like being quite that honest with the internet, ty.

I love character creation though so OCs good yes.

🦴 ⇢ is there a piece of media that inspires your writing?

Like. Besides the obvious, given this is a fanfic ask game afaik? Uhm. Diana Wynne Jones' body of work; the way she structured the narratives of her children's novels so the inherent unreliability of any narrator was maximized and played a vital role in mediating between the story and the reader.

I am not naturally good at playing keep-away with information, but I recognize it as a vital writing skill because context is so vital to the experience of media, so I pay close attention to how this sort of sleight of hand is accomplished. I also really appreciated Jones' relative lack of talking down to her child audience.

#ask #hoc est meum #glitterypenguintyphoon #ask game #organization #oc versus reader insert #dwj #people say nice things

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helpinghanikan · 3 years

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Hot Date

Pietro Maximoff x Reader

Sum: It shouldn't have to be said that SHIELD researchers aren't allowed to date their wards. But that doesn't stop the romantic tension from forming between you. The real question is, whose feelings will be most affected when the tension finally boils over?

Anomalous weapons supervisor was typed out on your paychecks, but babysitter would be a better description. Diplomas, experience and more resulted in your butt on bleachers. Watching the important people play around with powers few in this world understood.

Whoever designed this area probably didn’t know who exactly would be using it. It had the basics; a track for running, mats for sparring and weights for lifting. With more off the wall items thrown in that might be useful to the superpowered individuals using it. Like the massive metal balls being lifted and lowered by the red magic of your charge. Or one of your charges at least.

‘Wanda seems to have complete control of her powers. Whether these powers are coming from her mind or some sort of muscle in her hands has yet to be known.’ You type out just intime to get a guest sitting to your right.

“Can I get an autograph when your book is finished?” Pietro has been working on his accent, so had Wanda. As much pride as the two had they were still looking to adapt. But there were still hints of it on certain words. Especially when he’s this close not really trying.

“Only if I get to sign those tits.” Obviously, a joke, but you still had to take a quick glance to the camera. Just in case you get dragged into a meeting and this comes back up about your unprofessional comments. Not that it would stop your work.

“I can live without the signature,” Wanda’s voice, although distant, echoed in the wide space. “You’ve spelt many things wrong anyhow.”

Few people could say they were as close to the Maximoff twins as yourself. Even after the discovery of an alien/god, of the defrosting of a super-solider and the destruction from a billionaire people were wary of the twins.

It was through simple respect that Wanda had warmed up to you. You hadn’t talked to her with artificial kindness, didn’t look to the guards when her voiced raised even the slightest. No, you had asked how she was (the room was too hot for her), if she needed anything (just wanted to know how much longer she was going to be questioned), if she liked coffee or tea (tea is preferred), and how she was doing, really doing (she was tired, you all were).

It was another story for Pietro. Only trusting you after Wanda obviously saw you as a friend. Taking his own time to warm up after getting the same genuine experience you offered rather the blunt questions and stupid statements. It was the dinner you invited them to that sealed the deal. Nothing brings people together more than a lot of meat, the warm feeling of alcohol and a quiet afternoon with a food coma.

“What have you written?” Pietro asks, your laptop now in his hands.

There’s no point in trying to stop him when he snatches things. A child who had to move fast for food and safety makes petty theft a hard habit to beat. Not to mention Wanda already knew everything that went into your daily reports with a blink of her eye, it was seemingly only fair that Pietro got to know to.

“Same stuff I was doing yesterday, and the day before and the day before that and the-.”

“Yes, yes, thank you!” Pietro says, used to the child like taunts and knowing to stop you early.

With nothing of interest on said laptop he turned it back over to you. Taking his place leaning against your shoulder as you begin to work once more. Only speaking up to ensure you add in the correct description of his improvement.

These reports were supposed to be done without the twins knowledge. You were supposed to be a spy on the side of the government. Although it was blamed on Wanda’s mindreading in reality you had never tried to hide them. These friendships were genuine, resulting with the man practically putting himself in your lap to try and keep your attention.

"How much longer do we have to do this ‘training’?” Although a grown man Pietro could act like a little boy sometimes. When he’s done, he’s done. Taking whatever actions needed to get through his current situation and move on.

“For as long as the door is closed, Pietro.” Wanda has set the metal down. Taking slow steps to reach her brother and friend. “She would likely go faster without you hanging on her.”

There is no smooth way to say this; Pietro is a big spoon. Any chance he gets a hug or to hold someone results in being overwhelmed in lean muscle. Pietro was the only warmth during those impossible cold nights as newly orphaned children. His legs and arms creating a shelter that protected his chosen from any harm from ever happening. You were one of chosen now, which explained the face made at having to get up.

“Alright kids, let’s head home.” You say, slapping the laptop closed for effect.

You were one of several who kept an eye on the twins throughout the day. Wanda and Pietro pretended not to notice how certain employees just happened to always be in the hallway when walking through. Or the little cameras that were hidden in plain sight among the decorations in their quarters. And that’s not including all the mom aged agents “just checking in” at random times, complete with the sing song voice and overuse of the word “sweetie”.

On any other day you would have followed them into their quarters. Give them a recommendation for the TV and even stay awhile to watch it with them. A chime from your phone changing the day’s proceedings. It’s only a second-long hesitation that announces this change to the twins.

Pietro says your name in a tone different than the one earlier. It’s a tone of concern that snaps your head up at him. Wanda hanging around the quarter’s entryway, staying close enough to be apart of the conversation.

“Is everything okay?” he asks, now with your attention.

“What? Yeah, yes, I just got a…you know, a hot date.” You turn your phone to face him. Not long enough for him to read the entire message but enough to know that you weren’t completely hiding anything “I’ll see you guys later. Brush your teeth before going to bed, I’ll know if you don’t.”

Before Pietro or Wanda could give a retort the door slid shut.

“Who were they talking to?” Pietro asked the only other person in the room.

Wanda didn’t answer. Rather tilting her head towards her brother. Rolling her eyes when he asked “what? Wanda, what?”

Although officially a desk agent there were times the field required someone of your talents. When this happened, all other duties had to be dropped in exchange for an outfit change and a fancy car shared with your accompanying field agent. Natasha has been your designated agent since the first field mission and could now be considered a friend.

It would seem the babysitter had become the baby. Including having your clothes laid and being helped into them before reaching the car.

“You’re an heiress looking for some expensive decorations and I am your lovely assistant and translator for the evening.” Natasha says, holding the under-suit’s legs open for you to slip into. “We’ll show up fashionably late. You are incredibly rich and important and better than all of them. So, don’t make eye contact with anyone, and try not to say anything, they’re below you.”

Unlike fulltime field agents you weren’t trained enough to go without serious protection. Not just in the form of an accompanying agent but also in a (jokingly called) bullet proof onesie. So, fitting it was essentially a bullet-proof wetsuit that stopped at the knees and elbows. Making the clothes to wear over it something with long sleeves, past the ankles and covers the neck. Sunday school appropriate for this event.

“Can I fake an accent? Like, German?” It was a dumb question for you to ask, but the ride to the gallery was already taking longer than it should.

“Hmm, Let’s hear it.” Natasha doesn’t look up from her phone but still sounded interested.

“Vell-,”

“Stop.”

Very special pieces were being auctioned off tonight. Invite only without any advertisements to say what’s up for grabs to outsiders. Although the windows were blacked out and authorities were paid off (but obviously not enough) supposedly nothing for sale was illegal. But if that were true you wouldn’t have found a seat in the front row.

The language of the night was deeply European. One or two words you could maybe guess what they meant but there was no way you could name it. Nat knew it though; it kept her ears perked to the room and her mouth right next to your ear for most of the night.

First items up were the typical rich people arty stuff; vases and paintings that probably represented something to someone if you squinted. Those went for a year’s paycheck in minutes. It was after the third portrait of some lady now long dead that Nat placed a hand on your back, just below the neck.

“Next up is ours,” she whispered. “you’re doing good and you’re doing great.”

The entire night was spent with better manners than an office setting could ever be. Back straight, eyes forward, and no one is allowed to make eye-contact. It’s only when the target was wheeled in that your mask was starting to slide.

Genuine HYDRA blueprints for a titanium prosthetic. White ink on blue paper with decades old coffee stains and tiny tears, spread up and out under protective glass like a butterfly. Although Mr. Barnes had a serious upgrade with the Vibranium he now used. But these blueprints showed just how advance the original was for the time.

Sitting forward as it’s wheeled by wasn’t enough to authenticate the prints. Something you easily communicated to Agent Romanoff with just a look.

It was a bad idea, it called why too much attention, but Agent Romanoff whipped her head towards one of the several employees of the auction. Curling her finger at them to get them over and in her speaking line.

She speaks quickly, and with an edge to her voice, to the employee. With only a few words back that same employee returned to his post and spoke to the next man in charge.

“They going to invite a few of us up to inspect the piece,” Agent Romanoff whispers, “You’re going to have to be fast, we’re going on stage.”

Others in the audience made their way onto the stage when invited. Agent Romanoff ensures that you are somewhere in the middle of it. Heels and heavy shoes making creating white noise for your work to be done.

In all HYDRA’s documents, blue-prints and almost everything else their symbol was hidden throughout it. A little game of where’s the octopus in two places. A large, but translucent, icon covering the center. And a smaller one in the bottom right-hand corner, hidden behind the creator’s signature. Reproductions never had the smaller symbol, but the stains and fingerprints ensured you were right.

Later, during the debrief, you would be lectured about the importance of subtlety and espionage. But how was the look you gave Agent Romanoff any different than how others were looking at their people?

After that (completely natural and not at all suspicious) nod Natasha’s arm was around your back. This was part you were suddenly feeling ill. This was the part your assistant/translator/arm-candy would escort you out with just enough urgency and demands for the bathroom that you’d be gone before everyone was in their seats. Apparently this was also the part a sudden security guard fires twice into your chest.

“Watch your head.” Although not yelling Agent Romanoff’s voice was firm.

It's hard to say which was scarier; the bullets aiming firing for your death or how calm and professional Agent Romanoff was about it all. Although, few rounds were actually fired inside the auction hall.

Agent Romanoff shot an arm out to the first security. Pushing his gun up and inward quick enough to catch his jaw and take him out of the game. Agent Romanoff keeping the downed man’s sidearm for herself.

That was really the only bit of action you clearly saw that night. When things go wrong in the field it’s the agents job to remove their ward from the situation with minimal injuries. As the researcher your job was much simpler; don’t die. “Keep your head down, use your arms to protect yourself and trust your agent.” Was hammered in during field training. With this mantra running over and over you weren’t in the position to watch the mess happening all around.

“Someone, call the police!” It takes a second to realize it’s Agent Romanoff yelling this. In a panicked, almost shrill, voice that practically screamed ‘we’re being victimized!’

With all the guests now properly riled up it was easier to exit the building. Allowing the oncoming mod to carry the two of you out of the building without much more fuss from security. Trying to kill an agent was one thing but killing a rich connected person (or worse their spouses) would be on an entirely new issue.

Someone stepped on your foot. Another put an elbow in your rib harder than the bullets. And a third open hand pushed you, and your agent, right out the door and onto the street. It was only through the strength of Agent Romanoff, and your handling of flats, that this mission could be considered successful.

The blueprints were already being tracked and followed by the time you’re stripped down to underwear. The pretty clothes had to be taken removed, the makeup wiped off, hair undone, and the bullet proof onesie had to be taken away. Simple tank-tops, shorts and a coat were worn on the journey home. By the time it’s all off, and you’re finally walking into the apartment, it shouldn’t be surprising how you looked to others.

“Have a good time?” It takes a second to realize it’s just the roommate asking the question.

It’s expected that any roommate a SHIELD employee takes on would also be with SHIELD. The two of you weren’t in the same division or even security level part of why living together worked out so well. She was in the know enough to hear you complain but enough in the dark to keep any secrets from getting out.

“Yep, had a real banger of a night.” Although a friend and technical coworker you couldn’t disclose too much about the missions. At least not until the green light is given by the higher ups. Instead, you can only give the people something to speculate about. “Can’t wait to see what the bruises are going to look like tomorrow.”

Spoiler alert: the bruises looked like hickeys. Something noticed by Roommate but keeping quiet about it in exchange to heading out early. Ready with the latest thing to share with the office mates.

Just like any working environment gossip is always somewhere underfoot. After being dragged in by someone who couldn’t leave it at home it’s then latching onto everyone who came close enough to hear it. Most ignore it, others listen then forget and others drag carry it further into the workplace. Until researchers leaning against the wall talk too loudly and Pietro catches a few too many words.

“Who were they talking to?” Pietro asks once the housing area’s door shut. Quickly clearing things up with the use of your name.

“I’ve haven’t seen them yet.” Wanda doesn’t care enough to close her book but does enough to look up.

“No, yesterday. Before they left, someone messaged them. Who was it?”

Wanda shrugs and returns to her book, but there’s a smile there.

“You know who it is,” He says, now on beside her. “Tell me.”

“I can’t say for sure,” She’s smiling again. Only a slight glance at Pietro. “but I think he may be very handsome.”

The siblings argued as siblings do. With Wanda teasing as sisters do. All of this could be heard before you even made it to the door. Standing at its threshold to listen as the two go at it.

“Natasha will tell you the same, Pietro.” Wanda says, probably aware that you were in hearing distance. “And she says he can do more than simply be handsome.”

Although you say nothing Wanda grins at you.

The gossip overheard is just words without evidence. Just enough to get Pietro thinking but not enough to create any serious emotions. But the “evidence” to create those emotions was now standing in the room. Small marks darker than your natural skin was peaking out from the lower neckline.

To you, they were simple bruises, nothing worth trying to hide, even something to brag about to the other desk workers. To Pietro it was marks of another person, something that pursed his lips and marched away from. Doing so slowly, to be sure that both you and Wanda were aware of how upset he was.

“I missed something.” You say, setting everything down on the counter.

Wanda has a habit of sneaking into other people’s minds. The mission, the shots and the everything was slowly being filed through in the back of your head. A pressure at the base of your neck screaming that there was an intruder.

“Stop it.” You snapped, but Wanda only smiles back.

“How was your ‘hot date’?” She finally asks.

“Is that what he’s…sonofabitch. Pietro!” There are only three rooms in this section of the compound. One being Wanda’s, another Vision’s and the third Pietro. Making it easy enough to find the pouting grown man.

“What?” He asks upon your entering.

There isn’t a response on your part for moment or two. Spending that time going to the room’s corner. Standing on tiptoes to find that switch that definitely doesn’t exist on the camera. Shutting it down for the time being before turning to start your explanation.

“You can turn that back on.” He says from his place on the bed. “There’s nothing bad we need to talk about.”

“So, you don’t wanna hear about how I was shot in the tit?”

Manners were out the window at this point. Pietro openly looking towards your chest. Back up to your face, and back down to your chest. “You were shot? They look more like…”

“They’re not hickeys, I was shot a few time through a suit.” Frustration was starting to build up. It was overflowing when you finished with “You really should know about being shot.”

The hurt on his face screamed. He didn’t look away but stayed staring forward right at you. “Pietro, I’m so…I didn’t mean to say it like that.”

“It hurts,” He says. “Being shot, it really hurts.”

“I’m sorry.” Even as you walk around to sit beside him Pietro stares at where you were. Listening to your apology but not saying much else. Until he dares to lean against you. Something more than cuddling with a friend this time around. “I get it, I get you’re scared and all that. And I really like you, Pietro, I like you more than I am allowed to.”

It’s hard to say who started the kiss, but it doesn’t really matter. It was happening, and it was so much more than a something between friends.

“When that camera comes back on this didn’t happen.” You say in a moment of separation for air.

“What happens when the camera goes off again?” He asks, thumb rubbing over the bruise.

#reader insert #pietro maximoff #pietro maximoff x reader #quicksilver x reader #Pietros' alive au #One shot #Fluff kinda #Angst kinda #This is based on that window between 2012-2016 when everything was happy for the Avengers #Requested on my AOW #Not used to writing these kind of stories

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gemsofthegalaxy · 3 years

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Please No reblogs on this one :> it's a bit more personal and rambly but id be fine with good-faith replies etc just don't necessarily want it to gain traction if possible thanks

i don't really want to be a person coming on to another persons post so I won't but,

i just read one of those posts that's been going around about "yall talk a lot about found family but don't show up for the people in your lives" and I don't think that applies to me an extreme amount because i do try to show up for my friends, i was literally on the facebook call when my friend broke up with her boyfriend troubleshooting her responses to him and shit yknow like I CAN be there and i try to be. of course i could work on my social anxiety but it brings me to the fact that,

the post just reminds me that i tell people so often, early on in relationships, that I am not good at initiating conversations, i have Literal Social AnxietyTM but i will talk to people if they talk to me first,

and quite a few people have been like "oh wow you don't seem shy haha" and then... never initiate conversations. this was mainly a thing i noticed in community based Masters program, where I told pretty much everyone there that i can be a really good friend but i need others to engage me first because i, psychologically speaking, have a really hard time doing it

and like. i guess i didnt need those specific people to be my friends. but it did just suck being one of the people that only got invited to full-group things while the rest of them had their own pockets of 2-3 friends. i mean, i wasnt the only one who did kind of get left out of stuff so there is that, at least, but..................................... shit is wild.

and i mean i do wish i had have maybe reached out more often, especially to the other people who were kinda left out.... but that is something that is legitimately hard for me, and i try to make it clear. and hope that people will just be the ones to message me or invite me places. but it's always a precious few that actually do (and usually i end up loving them for it- i do have legitmate and amazing longstanding friendships so)

PLEASE note that nobody who follows me is any of these people lmao. there is one person who does follow me from my program and i love her and she was busy with a fulltime job and stuff and she's one of the people i actually did get a bit close to and i miss her, but she's never on tumblr so i doubt she'll read it

finally- i think there are different levels of friendship, yknow? like there are friends i only talk to about certain things (like fandom stuff) and that i dont talk to very often but i still consider them to be friends. and friends that ive known years and years that live very different lives, so we dont talk that often, but if they needed me and i was able to help i'd be there. and when we do see each other, its like no time has passed.

yeah anyway. friendship is important but it absolutely takes work, and it takes being in the right time in the right place, and so much shit goes into it it's really kind of amazing.

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plumbobtv · 4 years

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The Simwives Season 01 - After Party

Saffron, how are you? Can we ask you some questions? Hey, I am doing very good. Ready to party tonight to celebrate surviving season one haha. You can ask me anything..

Have you heard anything about season 02 yet? Cast members maybe? Hahaha... You wish I’d tell you.. Uhm, I can say that I have been in talks with production. About my own part in the season and about a friend or two of mine that would love to join. I think they would fit in naturally in the cast and that is very important. So I could see them joining.

Any clues for us who they are? Oh, I don’t wanna get in trouble or ruin this for them.. But they both live in Oasis Springs. That’s all.

We have heard you moved to Oasis Springs yourself, why leave Del Sol Valley? I think I personally outgrew Del Sol Valley, I needed some new surroundings. My husband and I found this beautiful home in Oasis Springs and we were sold immediately. No doubts, nothing. So yes, we just moved there.

Does that change the friendship between Octavia and you? Now needing to travel more to see each other. No, not at all. Octavia and I have been friends for way to long to let something like traveling come between us. We are very good and have been hanging out very much, she even helped packing my stuff.

How do you feel about Lauren leaving simwives? Hahaha, I understand her completely. Becoming a mom is a fulltime job and especially hard when your having your first child. So I wouldn’t advice anyone doing it while they are on national television. I can’t say I am sad to see her leave though haha.

Last question, what is in the future for Saffron? Good one, well I am working on a new swimwear line for next year. I would love to get some friends together for that and travel to Sulani for a shoot maybe. I am still working on becoming a better mom for the social media trolls bothering me every day all day.. While they say they hate me. Keep checking on me though haha.

@ohsosims, congratulations on Saffron’s first season! We hope to see her back next season.

#ts4 #sims #sims4 #simblr #simwives #sw1 #saffron elmore #afterparty

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aescapisms · 5 years

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serendipity [2]

pairing: bucky barnes x reader word count: 4.1k warning: few curse words a/n: please read dalliance before reading this

dalliance ← serendipity→ saudade

serendipity (n.) the chance occurrence of events in a beneficial way

Bucky didn’t want to be late.

He woke up at 6 ate, showered and finally dressed up. His first day in this new university and he’s excited. He just moved into town and is now living in an apartment far from the university but at least its accessible for commuting. So, he hopped on a bus to the subway and hoped for nothing but a good day ahead.

It didn’t happen though. The train was crowded and as soon as he got out he tripped and fell. Luckily someone was able to catch him. “Are you okay? Fuck. That was close.” Bucky looked at the girl standing infront of him holding him up by his waist. The first thing he noticed were your hands holding his metal arm. He noticed the way that you didn’t even react to it, not once. The next thing were your eyes, you had such beautiful eyes that the stars in the night sky doesn’t even compare to the twinkle in your eyes. Once he was able to stand up properly he heard you mutter ‘Oh no’ as she looked down on her shirt. Coffee stains. Bucky felt guilty. “Shit, I can buy you a new shirt. I’m so sorry. Here’s a handkerchief.”

“Don’t worry about it. Uhh, do you by any chance, have a spare shirt on your bag? All the shops around here are closed and I can’t walk around looking like this.” Bucky nodded and grabbed the shirt that he brought with him. He was supposed to go out with Steve later to celebrate their first days so he brought a change of clothes but someone else needed it. “Here. I’m really sorry about that.”

“It’s okay no worries.” You assured him as you grabbed the shirt in his hands. “I have to go now though. I’m going to be late.” Bucky was busy taking his wallet to pay you for compensation but when he looked up you were gone. He wanted to chase after you but he was short on time and he didn’t know how to. So he just went on his way but the thought of you never left his mind.

He went to greet Steve who was waiting for him in front of the gates of the university. “What took you so long? Thought you’d be here earlier?” Bucky told him about what happened as they walked into the faculty center and Steve just laughed “Maybe that’s a sign that your day will be shit.”

“God I hope not.” Bucky muttered as he closed the door to his office. He was working fulltime so he was given an office. He grabbed his schedule for the day and went to his classes. He had one in the morning and two in the afternoon. It was a shitty schedule but at least he has some free time.

At lunch Steve dropped by and brought some food with him. “Some of my students tried asking me for my number. They even volunteered to be my assistant for the sake of getting my number. So I had to get a guy for the job.”

Bucky stared at him “Do…Do we need to get a class representative?” Steve nodded and explained that it would be such a hassle to talk to everyone in class so it’s better to just assign someone that you can have a direct contact to and have them deliver the news and reports to the rest of the class.

He hadn’t thought of that. But it was a good plan. “Wasn’t able to do that for my previous class but will definitely do it for my next ones.” He muttered and thanked Steve for the idea.

“Man, I really can’t believe that we’re professors now. I didn’t even like school when I was a teenager.” Steve muttered as he cleaned up the table.

“Well, you’ve always wanted to be an artist why did you even pursue teaching?” Bucky asked as he threw his trash onto the garbage bin. Steve didn’t say anything because he didn’t have to. Bucky knows exactly why Steve pursued teaching. He wanted to change the world and teaching was the best way to do it. But just because it’s the best way doesn’t mean that he likes it.

“Alright. I’m going to go to my class. Catch you later.” Grabbing his stuff he went outside and made his way to the building he’s supposed to teach in. While he was busy staring at his schedule he bumped into someone running and heard the person say “I’m so sorry. Forgive me.” She didn’t even spare a look in his direction and continued running. His breath hitched as he watched her run off into the field. The sound of her voice and the color of her shirt sounding and looking all too familiar.

He walked into the class with such poise and dignity that the students stopped what they were all doing and quickly sat down. He always looked intimidating, but he figured that he was much scarier and intimidating now that he had his long sleeves folded up his elbows showing everyone his metal arm.

“Good afternoon.” He said and grabbed the teacher’s table to the middle and sat on the edge. “No need to write anything down for today. It’s just the orientation and I know how much you guys hate lectures on the first day of class.” Everyone’s tensed shoulders dropped down and a few ‘Fuck yes’ was heard in the room. “Alright, so as you al know I’ll be your professor on Social Psychology. I’m Bucky Barnes. Please address me formally. Professor, Sir or Mr. Barnes. And No, I will not answer to Bucky. Or Barnes.” Half of the class laughed but the other half was still trying to gauge what kind of professor he is. “Alright, the floor is now open for any questions whatsoever. Ask away.”

He scanned the room of about 60 people and called on people who raised their hands to ask questions. He was interrupted when the backdoor opened and someone crouch-walked trying to find an empty seat without being disrespectful to the person in front of them. He recognized you immediately. Of course he did, you were wearing his favorite shirt. How can he not recognize you?

“I’m a pretty chill teacher. It’s not hard to pass this course. You’ll only have 2 major exams for this class. Midterms and your finals. Class participation is very important I give points for recitations, but don’t worry it’s voluntary I don’t like calling on people.”

The guy in front raised his hand, “Uhh, I was wondering if it’s oaky to ask about your arm.”

Bucky smiled, “Yes of course. Well uh, I was involved in a nasty accident 2 years ago. Fortunately my friend knows King T’Challa and well his sister is a genius and made me this arm. No I don’t feel anything in this arm. So there you go. What else?”

Bucky was hoping that you would ask a question but you didn’t. Maybe that was for the best, because your voice does something to his heart and that is not good especially considering where the both of you are at the moment.

“Are you single, Sir?” Bucky nodded and looked back at you wondering if you were as curious as the rest of the class. “I am single but, I don’t date men.” Everyone laughed especially when he asked How about students sir?

He looked at you and his heart skipped a beat when he found out that you were looking at him too, he gave you a quick smile that made you blush and stare back at your notes. “No, I can’t. It’s against the rules.” Bucky gave out a small laugh when he found you still looking down at your desk with your hands covering your face, clearly trying to hide the embarrassment you had from him smiling at you.

“Alright, before you guys go, I want you to sign an attendance sheet. Put your name and email alright?” He announced to the class. He walked up to the person in the front row and gave out the form. “Here pass it around. Everyone stay on your seat.”

Once the paper was passed around, the last person had to give it back to him. And that person happened to be you. Bucky didn’t want to admit that it was all planned, but it was. The only hitch in the plan that he didn’t see coming was a girl coming up to her and volunteering to give the paper to him.

In retrospect, maybe that was the universe telling him to stop it before it’s too late.

Later that day, Steve and Bucky went to the Roadhouse to get some food and celebrate their first day. “Was it all that bad as I hoped it would be for your first day?” Steve asked.

Remembering the fact that you were his student made him sigh, “Yes, you dickwad.”

It was going to be alright though, with your university schedule of only 4 days of academic classes and another one for extra curricular he’ll only see you twice a week not even in succeeding days your schedule with him was Tuesday and Thursday. For an hour and a half. And he can handle that right?

Wrong. He was wrong on both accounts.

Because you were also on his Wednesday class. Oh this is going to be torture.

Bucky introduced himself again and answered the questions, basically the same routine that he had from his class the previous day. At the end of the class he noticed that you walked right up to him. “Hello Sir.” You spoke as you got closer to him. “You might not remember me, but I’m actually in your class yesterday. I was wondering if I could volunteer myself as the class representative.” Bucky was surprised by your sudden proposal. “I mean, I’m in both of your classes so I think it would be much easier for you and for me as well.”

He raised his eyebrow and asked, “What do you mean easier for you?”

You lowered your notebook on the desk and told him, “Well, I’m an irregular student. This is actually my last subject as I’m finishing my thesis as well.”

“Wouldn’t that actually be a hindrance for you?” Bucky asked as he fixed some of the papers on his desk and watched as you shook your head. “No, Sir. Well, both these sections are actually block sections. I’m the only irregular student and I really don’t trust these little kids to do a good job of giving out the necessary information to the whole class.” Bucky smiled at your snarky comment “You are one of those kids you know.”

“No. I’m two years ahead of them.” You said as you finished explaining everything “So, will that be alright sir?”

He should say no. Because if he said yes, it would mean that he would have to be in constant communication with you. If he said yes, he would spend more time with you than he needs to. If he said yes he would find ways to actually spend time with you. If he said yes you will shake up his heart in ways he never thought it could be shaken.

“Of course.” He said as he smiled at you. He watched as your lips curled up and your face lit up when he agreed. His heart swelled a thousand times over. “ Please give me your contact details so I can send you the syllabus. Drop by my office later so I can give you the list of the students from both sections.”

Damn it. How can he be so weak?

A few weeks later the two of you have fell into a rhythm of constant communication.

You would ask him insights about your thesis which you will be defending and he would ask you advice regarding his teaching style. You were a student was more in touch with the class and he wanted to teach as well as he could.

“Hello Sir.” You said as you opened the door to Bucky’s office. Bucky looked at you as he tried to fix the papers in front of him. “Oh hi, Y/N. You came just in time—”

“Need a hand, Sir?” You asked and Bucky stared at you. It took you a while and when what you said finally clicked, “Oh no. Fuck. I’m so sorry sir. I didn’t—” Bucky was now howling with laugher.

“Yes, Y/N” He said between the laughs “I do need a hand. An arm actually.” And continued laughing.

You looked down and covered your now red face from embarrassment. Bucky found it adorable though. He found you adorable. The past few weeks you and Bucky have spent time working on your thesis. He had offered to be your backstage adviser and you graciously accepted. The two of you would often meet in his office to work on your paper. He would also give you advice in regards to the defense proper. In that time he noticed your little quirks. The way you would spin your pen between your fingers when you’re in deep thought. Or, the way that your eyes would widen every time you read something interesting that could help your paper. Even the way that you would drink your coffee and regret it instantly because it was scalding hot. He learned these things about you and he just fell deeper in love.

You were his student.

It was wrong.

But the way that you laughed at his jokes and looked at him with such adoration made everything that he felt with you so…right.

Bucky finally had the courage to ask you about the shirt.

“Huh? What shirt?” you asked not looking up from what you were reading. Figures, you didn’t remember. “The shirt I lent you when I ruined yours on the first day of school.” That got your attention. With wide eyes you stared at Bucky. “That was you?”

“Yes. I was wondering when you’d like to give my shirt back. I mean it’s fine with me if you want to keep it—” Bucky mentally cursed himself. That was downright flirting. Damn it. He wanted to slap himself for being so weak around you. “I mean, it’s really okay.”

“I’m going to give it back I promise. I’m sorry, I just…. I have a really bad eyesight. And I wasn’t wearing my glasses that day, so I really didn’t know that it was you. I’m sorry.” You muttered as you fiddled with the pages of the book that you were holding. “Uh, sir. Sorry, I keep on forgetting.”

Bucky coughed, which broke the tension that was brewing in the room. “No worries, Ms. Y/L/N. Anyways, it’s getting late. I should probably walk you back to the station before it gets dark out here. And besides, ” Bucky looked out of the window “I think it’s going to rain.”

You stood up and grabbed your bag “No need…sir.” She said sir as if it was very unusual for her to call Bucky that. “I can get by on my own.”

“Please, I insist.”

And Bucky did just that. He carried your laptop bag and walked you to the station. “Thank you, but you really didn’t have to.”

“Of course I had to.” Bucky replied, “I’m responsible for what happens to my student.”

Something in your demeanor changed, you looked…sad. But you quickly regained composure and smiled at Bucky. “Of course, Professor.” Bucky stopped in his tracks, that was the first time that you had called him professor. You were never that formal with him.

“What’s wrong?” He asked. You shook your head, and took out your umbrella and gave it to him. “It’s going to start raining soon.” You entire demeanor with him changed. You were suddenly so cold, and closed off.

“Y/N, what’s wrong?” He asked as he grabbed your hand. You just smiled at him and pried his hand off. “Professor. My bus is here, thank you for your input in my thesis. I have to go. Have a safe trip.”

And then you left.

And it started raining hard.

As if you leaving him like that wasn’t bad enough.

Bucky did not see you alone for the next few days.

You showed up in his classes but you never once took the chance to actually talk to him. Bucky knew that you were purposely avoiding him, he just didn’t know why.

The two of you were scheduled to meet during lunch to work on your thesis but you didn’t show up so he had to eat with Steve.

And on his third bite, he suddenly felt dizzy and collapse on the sofa.

Avoiding your Professor was hard.

But hiding the fact that you were in love with him was harder.

You volunteered to be the class representative in order to be closer to him, and you got what you wanted. There were times that you pretended that he wasn’t your professor and you weren’t his student. But boy did that backfire.

Because all it did was give you hope and hope, is a drug that’s hard to get away from. Everytime the two of you accidentally touch you felt electricity coursing through your veins and in straight to your heart. You were falling, and you were falling fast.

And it was easy, it was so easy falling in love with Bucky.

But there was still that huge barrier, you were his student. And that time in the station reminded you of that. Even though you know what he said was true, you were still hurt. It was different, when you actually heard it from his own lips.

So when you finally set your mind straight you decided to pay him a visit. You had the shirt that he gave you in your back pack and you wanted to give it to him. But you arrived to an empty office.

So you decided to wait outside and send him a text.

“Professor? I’m here outside your office with some of the papers from yesterday and your shirt.”

But he didn’t reply. Which was weird, because he always replied instantly.

“Y/N? Why are you here?” Steve Rogers asked you. You know him, Bucky talked about him often and he would visit the two of you and give you insights about the things you have to do to impress the panel in your thesis defense. “I’m waiting for Professor Barnes, Sir.”

“He’s not here. He collapsed yesterday and I advised him to take a day off. Do you have some important papers that you need to give him?”

You nodded, he collapsed? “Which hospital is he staying at?”

“He doesn’t like hospitals. He’s at his apartment. I’d offer to bring the papers to him but I have to leave later.”

“Oh it’s okay Sir. I can probably give it to him.” Steve looked at you and nodded “I can give you his address, I also need you to bring something to him.”

It was soup. Steve Rogers wanted to give his best friend some soup in hopes that it would cheer his spirits up. You smiled, because it was nice seeing a friendship like that between people.

You quickly went to the classroom and wrote the announcement of free-cut on the board and went on your way to Bucky’s house.

You didn’t knock.

The door was slightly opened so you pushed it slowly and you saw Bucky sleeping on the couch some instant noodles on the table infront of him.

You sighed and closed the door behind you. His apartment was small, but livable. It didn’t seem like the apartment of a university teacher though, it was all too…simple. The only furniture that he had was the couch and the table. No television. No radio. Nothing.

You went straight to the kitchen to unpack the things that Steve asked you to bring, transferring it to a bowl you took it to the living room and woke Bucky.

“Sir? Wake up.” Nothing. “Sir, it’s me. Y/N.”

His eyes fluttered and his head snapped at you. “Y/N? What are you doing here?”

“I heard you were sick… and Steve, I mean Professor Rogers asked me to give you some soup. Come on, sit up. I’m going to feed you some.” He groaned as you puled him up to sit properly on the couch. “Here.”

“You shouldn’t be here. I can take care of myself.”

“Professor.” You said as you grabbed the soup in the table “With all due respect, you can barely sit up on your own. So eat the damn soup so you can get better.”

It was an unusual sight, you walking around Bucky’s apartment but he felt happy.

He felt much better than he did yesterday. Apparently, he had caught a cold and well, collapsed.

You cleaned up the mess that he made and started cooking some dinner. “I’m sorry for acting the way I did the past few days, sir.” You said while you were in the kitchen washing the dishes.

Bucky stared at you and pulled the blanket around him. “It’s okay.” He replied “It seems like I’ve been putting so many things on your plate.”

“No sir, It wasn’t that. It was a personal problem that I brought with me in an academic setting. I’m sorry.” You confessed, and now Bucky was confused.

“Are you okay now? Maybe I can help? I am four years older than you so I can probably help.” That made you smile. Bucky’s heart started racing. God damn, the effect that you had on him. You’ve only known each other for 2 and a half months and yet, you had this much of an effect on him.

“Well, it’s uhh..” you glanced at Bucky before continuing “I kinda fell for someone I’m not supposed to fall for.”

Bucky’s heart sped up faster than it ever did before. He thought he would collapse again. By any chance, did you fall for him as well? Was his feeling s not one sided?

“What do you mean, you’re not supposed to fall for?” Bucky asked slowly, of course he won’t ask it out right if you were actually talking about him. Because that would be a huge problem if you weren’t talking about him.

“Like, it’s wrong. I mean, I can’t be with him.” You muttered as you dried continued washing the dishes. Bucky stood up and walked towards the kitchen counter.

You jumped when he asked “Why can’t you be with him?”

“Shit I didn’t know that you were there.” Bucky just smiled at you, “Well, we can’t be together because we just really can’t. And besides, I don’t even know if he likes me back or what not.”

“Have you tried asking?”

You scoffed and turned to look at him. “Yeah sure. I’ll ask him once you ask the person you like if they like you back. Sir, it’s not that easy. Alright?”

“Do you want me to ask the person I like if they like me back? So you can ask the person you like?” Bucky asked and took a step closer to you. He noticed the way your breath hitched everytime he took a step. The two of you are now staring into each other’s eyes. He was close enough to hear your breath, he saw the way your hands gripped the kitchen countertop. Trying to hold it back from doing something you might regret. “…Y/N.”

That was it. You placed your hand around his neck and pressed your lips together, it didn’t last long. You pulled away and quickly apologized. “I’m so sorry, sir. I really am. Fuck…I’m really sor—”

You would’ve continued your rambling but Bucky said “I’m not. I’m not sorry. I’ve liked you the moment I set my eyes on you on the subway. Look, Y/N. I thought you were beautiful the moment I laid my eyes on you but after getting to know you I realized that you were more than just a beautiful face. You have a wonderful heart and you just amaze me every single time that I’m with you. And as time passed by I didn’t notice that I was already in love wit—”

You didn’t let him finish what he was saying and threw your arm around his neck and kissed him once more. This time Bucky pulled you closer, you’ll deal with the consequences later. But right now, there’s only the two of you.

dalliance ← serendipity→ saudade

→ pick your poison

#bucky barnes #bucky #james bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky imagine #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #sebastian stan #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian x reader #sebastian stan fanfic #bucky barnes fanfic

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barksbog · 5 years

Text

frequently sent anons and stuff

gonna answer some thing people keep asking me or keep getting wrong or i just really feel are important to know

(i have a faq but we all know what tumblr mobile be like)

how did you become a plush making gremlin?

always loved plushies and weird creatures

learned how to make plushies on The Internets

took some commissions for custom ones (did not enjoy that too much)

started to sell my own designs

here we go

^most professional image that exists of my face.

whole lot more under the cut

1. business/onlineshop related

Do you take commissions? I don´t really open for regular comissions.

i sometimes accept “sponsorships” of stuff that fits with my other work. especially if it´s just a recoloring of an existing pattern (like a different species of slug or toad for example).

will you sell more of this plushie?

if it´s still in the online shop but listed as out of stock the answer is most likely yes. it takes me a while tho because i really do make each one myself. this is a one gremlin operation.

i really wanted to get one of your microraptors, spinosaurs (or any other dinosaur plushie)? will they come back?

sorry they really won´t. neither will i restock any of the dinosaur charms, pins and stickers once they sold out. for a good amount of reasons i have decided to leave paleoart behind. as cool as dinosaurs are. i like my mental health more.

i feel like everyone who witnessed the level of drama coming from certain members of the paleo community understands completely what i mean and while i know you can create paleoart and just reduce interaction to a minimum i like to be active on social media and discord servers relevant to what i do.

do you ship to ...

yes. yes i ship worldwide.

does that plushie really cost 30,000€?

no my likely american friend. it´s 30.00€ we just use commas here and so does my shop when set to €. i can´t set it to $ because i need to pay my. everything. in € and honestly don´t want to constantly gamble on the current exchange course being steady so i actually get my money. paypal will let you pay in your currency tho and just send me €.

i tried to contact you and you didn´t respond?

-if you contacted me like “hey” or “hey i have a question” i´m unlikely to have the energy to respond. please always contact artists with what you want to know

-i have answered that question a lot before or it can easily be answered by looking at my onlineshops faq

-you sent me an anon about a order. i can´t help you there

-if you have order related question it´s best to email me through the contact form of my onlineshop. if you just email my business mail it often ends in spam and i don´t see if for a few weeks.

2. sewing/plush making related

Where do you get that fabric? how does that happen to have toads on it?

i get it custom printed by spoonflower (they have a factory in the US and in Germany). i design it in photoshop and just upload it and they print it for me. they can be a bit slow. or just send you a meter of middle earth for no reason. or print a meter half black for no reason but overall their quality is great and so is their customer support when they do mess up.

a few tips i have are:

- the minky piling runs from the top down.

- you can design meters even when it says and displays yards in the preview, just check if it´s set to meters when in the basket before checkout.

- never set anything to center and order more than one meter, it will be printed once in the middle and leave you with a bunch of white useless minky.

- if you don´t want to wrangle 4 meters of fabric apart just keep adding One meter of the design at the time and you will get precut meters.

where did you learn to sew? how do i learn to sew?

I had a very basic crafts class in school with a shitty teacher that told me that “i´m sloppy and Can Not Sew” but really everything useful i ever learned i learned from The Internets so just go and look for some free patterns and tutorials and you are good to go. after trying a few patterns you will get a feeling for how plushies work and can combine what you learned. it´s really just like when you learn to draw and break things down into shapes.

if you have some questions or things you can´t figure out or just want to talk about crafts i run a really nice server with palaeoplushies

https://discord.gg/Cqwq4r3

what´s it like to run a business with 21?

stressful. i´m not always sure what i´m doing. but i´m doing it. and i believe in you, you can do it too. there is a 10kg bag of stuffing and a 25kg box of beans in my room. i have a whole huge sorting box full of eyes.

you are doing this fulltime? that´s really cool

yes i do this fulltime However. i really wish i could have a sidejob but i can´t because i have a funky brain and migraines so i really can´t find or keept almost any job.

^me doing my job.professionally. my job being. turning the fricking frogs gay.

3. personal.

so you are australian, how are the kangaroos?

No. Stop. I´m austrian. i don´t even know if you are joking or for real. just don´t.

so you are german? you speak german right?

again. i´m austrian. yes we speak german here but a different dialect so i likely don´t sound like the germans you have heard in movies. in fact the majority of germans will not even understand me.

can you stop complaining about the weather?

yes i complain about heat because. i´m heat sensitive. also because i´m actually an Alpine Gremlin and shouldn´t be subjected to temperatures over 30°C. our house doesn´t have AC. i work in here all day at 28°C room temp and with high humidty.

yes i complain about the cold too. because our house is old and badly insulated and i have to carry in firewood in laundrybaskets to feed to an old woodburner and it sucks. our house frequently falls down to 16°C.

so there is a spelling mistake?

yes i make a lot of spelling mistakes. or just switch out whole words. or forget whole words. unless it´s something important like a salespost please just don´t point that out constantly. like mentioned before i have a funky brain and it just be like that. also like mentioned before. i´m austrian. english is actually my second language so. be nice.

way too long list of spire fun facts:

i´m nonbinary and use they/them pronouns. i´m also very gay.

if you see me refer to “my wife” that´s the moon. i´m legally married to her. i really like dramatically standing on my balcony and looking at her.

if you see me yell about “the lesbians” that´s my mourning geckos.

i have 13 furbies. and you have no right to insult them. they are baby.

i also have a lot of skulls and other dead things

I´m autistic and come with some extra dyslexia, depression and anxiety.

i also come with intense migraines that can make me useless for a solid week

i live in a village surounded by woods with less than 200 people

i did spent a lot of time in vienna for 6 years tho and lived there for three of that 6

i actually have a diploma in graphic design. that i don´t really need for anything but winning argument about aesthetic choices or making jokes

yes. i am kinda short. (162cm/5.3ft)

i have two cats. they are littermates tho. so i get some people have a hard time telling it´s not just the same cat. i swear they are two different cats tho and actually really easy for me to tell apart.

milk belongs in tetrapacks. not jugs. fight me

tapirs are nasty creatures

krampus comes on the 5th or 6th of december. stop calling him the christmas devil you fools. my source? growing up with the krampus tradition.

you know what happens on the 24th tho? me. that´s my birthday. and that is in fact austrian christmas day. all christmas happens that day. if you wish me merry christmas before happy birthday i will never forgive you.

i really loved balto as a child. the dingo pictures version tho. i was enraged when i saw the ofiicial balto because i thought they stole it from dingo pictures. i watched a lot of dingo pictures and that´s why i´m Like This

^my lovely wife

if you see me rambling in the tags. generally i´m. okay. you don´t have to worry but if you relate or just feel like talking to me? you can dm me and i have actually made friends like that before so.

if i don´t respond to your dms or asks it´s not because i don´t like you i just have very low social energy most days

and finally.

if you think me and @palaeoplushies are the same person we have a legal right to your soul and your favorite child for our Collection

we prefer none human children tho

(i´m sorry for tagging you. and making you scroll through like “wtf is spire taggin me in now again” but it would have felt weirder not to let you know about the future souls i´m sending your way)

#in short.#i´m trying but i´m just a little gremlin #if that gave you more questions than you had before #rip. but also you can still just anon them. i actually like getting anons #i just have low energy to answer the same questions over and over #so i just leave them sitting there to marinate in my inbox forever #text post #faq #really no one asked for this but here we go #if you actually read that whole thing you are entitled for a refund of your time #however i don´t refund time #i´m sorry #i think my theme doesn´t display lists as lists so that will be fun for you #again sorry but also #no one forced you to read my resume #also idk if my face was relevant but that´s the most professional image i own

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heavensthralled · 5 years

Text

SARAI VARALI

>> Looking for RP, Friends, Connections, and Followers! <<

The Basics ––– –

Age: mid 30′s (34-37ish depending on Time Bubble and such)

Birthday: 30th Sun of the 5th Astral Moon

Race: Keeper of the Moon Miqo’te

Gender: Female

Marital Status: Unmarried (in a relationship with @sophicpriestofmenphina in her canon)

Server: Balmung (Crystal DC)

Physical Appearance ––– –

Hair: Dark Navy with Magenta highlights, Long

Eyes: Silver White

Height: 5’ 4”

Build: Lush and curvy, though still in shape. Has just a little bit of softness in the stomach, thighs, hips. That kind of thing.

Distinguishing Marks: White tattoos all over her body, traditional Keeper face markings

Common Accessories: Depending on what she’s doing, fancy/flashy jewelry and outfits for entertaining, or medical accouterments and supplies when she’s healing or at her clinic.

Personal ––– –

Profession: Healer, part-time courtesan

Hobbies: Collecting tea, practicing Alchemy, dancing

Languages: Eorzean, slowly picking up the languages of Othard

Residence: Has small apartments in both Ul’dah and Limsa, as well as a crash suite attached to her clinics.

Birthplace: The deserts of Thanalan to a wandering, somewhat shamanistic tribe.

Religion: Spiritual, not really religious. Likes to call on Menphina and the stars for guidance and succor.

Patron Deity: Menphina, the Lover

Fears: Bees. Losing loved ones.

Personality: Gentle and kind. Always wants to help other people. A little motherly, even though she hasn’t had kids. Open and non-judgmental.

Relationships ––– -

Spouse: None

Children: None

Parents: Zinai Varali (mother, status TBD), Ahri’a (father, status TBD)

Siblings: None (TBD)

Other Relatives: None of importance

Pets: None

Traits ––– -

* Bold your character’s answer.

Extroverted / In Between / Introverted

Disorganized / In Between / Organized

Close Minded / In Between / Open Minded

Calm / In Between / Anxious

Disagreeable / In Between / Agreeable

Cautious / In Between / Reckless

Patient / In Between / Impatient

Outspoken / In Between / Reserved

Leader / In Between / Follower

Empathetic / In Between / Apathetic

Optimistic / In Between / Pessimistic

Traditional / In Between / Modern

Hard-working / In Between / Lazy

Cultured / In Between / Uncultured

Loyal / In Between / Disloyal

Faithful / In Between / Unfaithful

Additional information ––– –

Smoking Habit: No. Drugs: No. Alcohol: Enjoys a few glasses of wine every now and then.

Possible Hooks ––– –

The Healer: Are you injured? Is someone else injured and you need help? Do you need a healer to come along on an adventure? Do you have some issue a healer or practitioner of medicine or alchemy might be able to help you with? Sarai can probably help! She’s very well versed in many arts of healing, Astrology in particular, although she’s becoming very well versed in some more modern technologies, outside the norms of basic healing spells and bandages. Some would call it experimental. She has extensive knowledge of brews, potions, herbs and concoctions for all sorts of ailments, and is more than happy to help you heal and be mended.

The Courtesan (may be NSFW): Have an itch that needs to be scratched? Have questions or desires you’re too nervous or afraid to ask your lover about, or you’re just curious? Perhaps you need a pretty woman to grace your arm (and bed) for the evening? Sarai’s your woman - she’s very good at this part of her job, and enjoys it quite a lot. She’s also happy to perform a role much akin to that of a geisha, non-sexual and mostly about show and companionship.

The Priestess of Menphina: Sarai has worshipped Menphina for all of her life, and as such has a very open and accepting outlook on many topics related to the Lover - sex, love, relationships, that sort of thing. She’s happy to share her insight and wisdom of such topics, and serve as a therapist and friend to those in need for these situations.

Combination of the above: Maybe you’re an old lover or client and they’ve bumped into each other? Or perhaps you’ve sought her out again after some time for intimacies/advice/healing? Pre-established stuff is fun.

What I’m Looking For ––– –

Contacts and Friends!: I’ve been away for a while, but I’m back for now and would LOVE to have some more interaction on my dash, friends, as well as writing partners! Which leads to...

Shipping: I’m shipping trash. I love ships. Ship with me. Platonic or Romantic, doesn’t matter. Gimme all the fun shippy stuff. THAT said...

Romance: I love writing fluffy, sappy romance and relationship stuff, including the intense, probably nsfw stuff (which can also be fluffy and sappy). It’s kind of bread and butter for me? However...

Deep friendships: Gimme that friendship. That deep trust, those intimate interactions. Feels. I love it all.

Slice of Life/Random Interactions: Especially here on tumblr, I’d love to just have some random interactions through asks and threads, slice of life, cute/crack posts. That kind of thing.

OOC and Roleplaying Preferences ––– –

I’m a 40 hour/week working lady - I have a fulltime job, and as such my time for games is limited. Once I’m home from work (usually after 6-9pm EST) I’m around for at least a few hours, and all day on my days off. I don’t usually schedule Roleplay sessions, but if that’s a need for you, I’m happy to oblige.

Timezone - Eastern Standard Time. I’m a night owl, but on days off when I don’t have a previously hard day, I’m willing to get up early for stuff to accommodate other timezones!

Available on Discord - Discord is my preferred form of contact and roleplay outside tumblr. However, when I’m at work I don’t usually check my phone (I don’t want to get in trouble!) If you message me and don’t hear back within an hour, I’m probably at work (or somewhere I don’t have reception). I’ll get back to you after my shift (anywhere from 8-11 hours) or when I get home! If you haven’t heard back from me within 24 hours, something big came up and I’ll respond as soon as I can.

In-Game: I don’t usually like to roleplay in game, I have a little bit of stage fright. I also probably have ingame projects I want to work on when I’m in game during my limited free time. I might do a few little interactions, but generally nothing major. I’m trying to get better about that though!

Talk to me!: I’m very friendly and open, and very willing to talk and plot about all sorts of things. I’m sort of a geek and a nerd, love memes and sillyness. I just want to be friends and have fun with our characters. <3

Regarding M/ERP: I’m comfortable writing it (Mun and muse are both 21+). If you’re a minor, GTFO/do not ask me. That said, smut isn’t all I’m after. I love all other aspects of writing, as stated above. Smut is great when it has plot leading to it/within it (ex: Sarai’s Village in the Sky verse with @sophicpriestofmenphina where she wants kids and a family). One off or indulgent smut is also fine, but it’s not what I really want ALL of the time. I want feels and fun stuff and PLOT also. Just because she is a courtesan doesn’t mean Sarai is an ERP toon - she’s a full character and I want to have fun with her in all sorts of writing!

Contact Information ––– –

Discord - please ask me

In Game - Sarai Varali

Tumblr - @heavensthralled

Items in this post subject to change if/when the need arises (regarding roleplay).

#out of stardust #self promo #about sarai #ffxiv

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comicteaparty · 4 years

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November 23rd-November 29th, 2019 Creator Babble Archive

The archive for the Creator Babble chat that occurred from November 23rd, 2019 to November 29th, 2019. The chat focused on the following question:

How do you personally deal with hiatuses, both in regards to planned and unplanned breaks?

carcarchu

I feel very guilty when I go on unplanned hiatuses and I avoid going to tapas and webtoons at all until I've got an update completed. i'm scared to see comments complaining about the lack of updates and how many people have unfollowed me in the meantime. i also find it very hard to bounce back from a hiatus. when i've got a groove going it's easier to keep the momentum than it is to start again after a prolonged absence

Deo101

Kinda a rough question haha. I don't go on any hiatuses other than unplanned ones. It's only out of necessity, in the past I did it if school/health got rough, and I'd try to be back the next week with a normal update!!! However.. I have a second comic which has been on hiatus for a year. I miss making it, but I lost the person who I was working with on it so it has been hard to start again. I'm kind of not really dealing with it, as the anxiety of starting again gets worse the longer it's been! But, I know that the only way to get out of it is to just do it, and I have to do it as soon as I can or it will never end. So, I just work my way through them to get back on schedule.

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

So far I've only taken one official hiatus, after I finished the second chapter of the comic - I worked on the next chapter's pages for the next two months, then came back and luckily haven't been off hiatus since.

I have another planned hiatus after the next chapter, and this time, I'll be accepting guest art to fill the space - it's not something I was aware was a thing until it was suggested to me. It'll be interesting to come up with a cool way to feature any art I receive. I like the idea of highlighting other artists' work while I'm taking a breather!

eli [a winged tale]

There’s such a huge mental barrier for me when it comes to announcing a hiatus but ultimately life and health come first. I have a comic on hiatus since 2015 (one day it’ll come back haha), and sometimes things happen to push my current one back for updates. I want to tell myself that since I’m producing free content, it should be for fun and not a source of stress (despite industry standards and what I want to achieve). It’s a balance. I think the readers who wait are the ones I am most grateful and treasure.

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

I have chronic health issues that can be very debilitating, so having hiatuses is something I have to deal with all the time. I might be able to update regularly for a few months, but eventually and inevitably, a sudden hiatus will come. It’s something that causes me a lot of stress on top of an already stressful situation. Readers leave, and then when I’m well enough to work, I don’t just have to churn out as many pages as I can while I can, I also have to rebuild my audience all over again. I hate going on hiatuses and having such an unstable update schedule, but there’s not much I can do about it.(edited)

Cronaj

Aw man... I also have been dealing with chronic health conditions, so I feel you. I finally got treatments that have been working, so I'm able to update consistently now. That being said, I was on hiatus for a year and a half until just recently. It really did destroy the momentum I was building up, and readers I had accumulated. Because of that, I am determined not to take long hiatuses anymore (a week-a month at most) and to announce it beforehand. I do find it important to prioritize health and mental well-being above my comic, but I find my mental health suffering every time I neglect to update my comic, so I find a middle ground by taking short breaks occasionally. Moral of the story: build up a buffer, kids. Don't be like me.

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

Yeah, same. I'm still trying to get a diagnosis, but I'm kind of an outlier in medicine- my body chemistry is very atypical. I build up those buffers whenever I can, but they always run out sooner or later. I love making comics so much that my mental health suffers, too. I get depressed if I'm not making progress on my comics. I'm really glad you've found a treatment that helps, though! I hope I can too, one of these years.

eli [a winged tale]

What is this mystical buffer everyone keeps talking about

I jest. Keep up the great work everyone! Everyone is trying their best and that’s most important

Capitania do Azar

I always take a small hiatus on the end of each chapter so I can rest and work on writing the next one, usually for a couple months.

sssfrs

I generally take my time with updates anyway. I've lost followers after hiatuses (strangely people only actually started unfollowing me after I came back with a new update) but I'm more focused on getting more of my comic done and progressing towards it being a finished work than keeping a consistent audience. Even though it would be nice...

DanitheCarutor

Fff coincidentally I'm going on a planned hiatus in December. At the end of every chapter I go on one to get feedback, and have some downtime to better plan the next chapter, as well as to get build some buffer. Usually during this time I either hold a Q&A, or do a call for guest art/comics, and I only ever plan to be on break for a month. I don't like being away for longer than that, and the intermission stuff (Q&A's, call for guest art) is announced a month or so beforehand, that way no one is scrambling when the scheduled break starts. As far as an unplanned hiatus, I don't usually have any with my current project. There have been times I've missed the posting deadline due to my fulltime job, but would post either once the page is done or the next week. With my old comic I took a lot of unannounced breaks, not so much because I was busy but I was going through a lot of crap, and morale was really low. It didn't help that it was my very first real attempt at making comics, so I had no idea what I was doing, the story was also hot garbage and became more of a chore to work as time went on. Eventually I just stopped, went on perma-hiatus totally unannounced to this day. I should have let my readers know, but I was really ashamed of myself for not wanting to work on the project (I promised I would complete it), and with a bunch of things suddenly happening in my life I forgot. I'll probably have to go in an unannounced break someday. A lot of things can happen, and being a traditional art only comic creator I'll probably end up running out of supplies eventually, needing to scrounge up some money for more. The nice thing is soooome, hopefully most, of my readers would understand? They know my comic is super time consuming, and that I've been working on it nonstop for 4-5 years now, so they should? Maybe? Hopefully that won't happen, though!

keii4ii

For those of you who take a break after each chapter, how many pages go in an average-length chapter?

🌈ERROR404 🌈

depends on how you're planning to set up your story, whether u want to prioritize to certain print sizes, but the general average chapter size is about 30 pages

Cronaj

I hadn't been planning to take a break between chapters, but we'll see what actually happens. I have chapters ranging from 35-50 pages in length(edited)

DanitheCarutor

Not sure how everyone else is, but I wing it with chapter length. The chapter I'm currently capping off will be 57 pages, although 30-45ish pages is preferred.

eli [a winged tale]

47 for me for this first chapter!

keii4ii

Cool! Was mostly asking a "so how frequently do you take scheduled post-chapter breaks" worded differently

sssfrs

I do 8-12.. I wish I could do more

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

I am taking a short holiday break (that was actually planned this time) in between Eryl chapters. My Eryl chapters usually run 30-35 pages, and the break will be around..., 3 weeks I think? I can’t remember exactly. I’m probably going to have to put it back on hiatus partway through the chapter when my buffer runs out because of the aforementioned chronic health issues, though.

spacerocketbunny

I've only taken one hiatus and that was just while my site was being built! But even then we were able to have a short extra comic updating on an alternative site for that time being. We've been updating consistently for 5 years and that's thanks to the stability we've been lucky to have and the fact that there's two of us sharing the work. We've been able to work ahead enough so we've never ran out of a buffer, I'm pretty proud of that tbh(edited)

DanitheCarutor

@keii4ii Oh! So you were asking the time frame in which a chapter is finished? Correct me if I'm wrong. Normally each chapter takes about a year to complete, sometimes a couple months more than that. (for me, that is.)

spacerocketbunny

Nothing wrong with a hiatus though, especially after chapter breaks, I think those are pretty good to keep yourself from burning out!

Cronaj

I do 2-3 pages a week, so I finish a new chapter... about every 4-6 months

keii4ii

I appreciate the answers, everyone!

AntiBunny

I answered this one on Twitter, but I'll answer more at length here. FIrst of all I think a distinction should be made between a Hiatus, which is a planned break, and an extended delay, which is more missed updates compounding with each other.

The former is easier to deal with. Announce it with a clear return date.

The latter is rougher. The artist hasn't planned it, and feelings of guilt can make it harder and harder to return. The best thing to do in that case is to again, get out ahead of it. When you're delayed point people to your social media, and keep posting to make it clear you're still working, or if work has halted completely at least keep posting to let them know when you will be working on it again.

Either way I try to avoid even using the word "hiatus" because webcomic readers tend to read it as "abandoned." Sadly they're all too often right to do so.

Cronaj

Yeah, usually, when announcing a hiatus to my readers, I like to use the word "break" instead

It's a bit softer for some reason

You know, I am 95% certain that my readers thought I had abandoned the project—or died—when I disappeared for a year and a half

Because I know that I have gotten invested in a comic, only for the creator to go incognito

And I always wonder... Are they alright?

keii4ii

I usually figure either life got too busy, or the creator outgrew the project. Or both.

AntiBunny

I know. I stopped updating for almost a year because I wasn't happy with the planned ending of Nailbat. I lost readers I still haven't regained over that one.

In retrospect "waiting for inspiration" was not the ideal way to handle that.

Cronaj

Yeah, the fact that I returned at all is pretty crazy, from a reader's perspective(edited)

I've seen more abandoned projects than I have, "Hey sorry guys! Was dealing with stuff, but now I'm back!"

I mean, it happens

But very infrequently in comparison to the previous sadly(edited)

AntiBunny

Combine the fact that not updating is easier than updating, and the guilt of not updating making you feel like your return has to be even more awesome with every missed update, so you build for yourself a unsalable mountain of imagined expectation, and you have a recipe for abandonment.

Cronaj

Yep!

I'm still trying to regain my momentum

And I always feel so bad if I publish a less-than-stellar page

AntiBunny

There's also the fact that people grow and change. One problem with long form story webcomics is that an artist can outgrow their story.

Cronaj

That is so true

AntiBunny

The most successful tend to be the ones that can grow and change with the artist.

Cronaj

As a novelist as well, I can say that is incredibly accurate

I have dropped so many novels after writing 30k words or more

The only project I've stayed faithful to for over 5 years IS my current comic project

AntiBunny

Sluggy Freelance for example is very different today than when it began. Gunnerkrigg Court as well, and I like to think mine can too.

Though I'll admit I do have a character I've outgrown, and it bugs me people want to see her again.

Cronaj

I think that's just a desire for closure, and for things to come together in the end

AntiBunny

She was more of a comic relief character really. her sort of humor just isn't something I want to write anymore. That kind of edgelord "lol murder," humor isn't something I can write anymore. And unlike the core cast who've grown so that they don't have to come from the same place I was years ago, she hasn't.

I may be drifting off topic a bit there. Anyway I think it serves well as a reminder that for a long term story the characters need to grow with the artist to keep a comic going.

keii4ii

Not every story is meant to grow with the trends, and that's 100% fine. Just means you have to accept the risk of potentially outgrowing the project.

Using the word "trends" pretty broadly

Mine is not very adaptable, and I can't imagine making it more adaptable without altering its core. It doesn't make it less worthy as a story, just... yeah, bigger risk

seetherabbit

I always took breaks or "hiatus" way before I ran out of pages I could in theory add to the buffer

that way I could more easly relax

but also so I don't have to take an hiatus in the middle of a story

Pistashi

everyone needs a break sometimes

I've been updating and working constantly not only on my comic, but alto my yt channel and freelance jobs (because money is always welcomed, even tho I HATE FREELANCE WITH ALL MY CORE)

but I feel like I got momentum now and I dont wanna stop suddendly

sometimes I feel exhausted but then one day later or after 10h of sleep Im fine

I'll take a break later for sure, but rn I feel like this weight of responsibility is helping me build my work ethics

because we cant work just when we are inspired, we dont have that luxury :P

we cant overwork either, so we gotta be smart with our breaks and hiatuses

mathtans

I've been on hiatus more times than I want to count. One of those things where not having much of an audience helps... if no one's really saying much, they either continue not to say anything, or suddenly surface to wish you well.

I will say that I like concluding arcs. My first hiatus was when my wife went into hospital for a bit, I said I'd return but didn't know when. Most of my other hiatuses have been at the ends of arcs... and I'll add that while they were breaks from the comic, they weren't from content. I put up a few behind-the-scenes things, explaining backstory, and had a friend write a column for me too. I've seen other comics do similar, or use guest art.

And for those of you wondering "who's this guy", I've been on hiatus since my daughter was born. Meaning we're going on 17 months. (I may not return to comic work. I have another website I run where I do serials that I'm still maintaining.)

Phin (Heirs of the Veil)

In most cases I take a hiatus at the end of a chapter. I have taken two official hiatuses and I think there were some shorter, inofficial ones that I had to take because of other obligations like my studies/family issues/freelance work or finishing books for print. Personally I have managed to not get myself too worked up about hiatuses. I'm doing comics for free and I can't live off of them, so it's inevitable to take breaks. Though I have to say I'm starting into a new chapter without having to go on hiatus, which is pretty neat C:

Pistashi

@Phin (Heirs of the Veil) thats niice! its like the more we work on comics the better (and faster) we get, so keeping the momentum between chapters without a hiatus is an awesome thing! Its the little things tbh

also, you're right. its inevitable to take breaks. specially when you're not working full time and can't live off of them. and like @mathtans said, responsibility shows up and sometimes we have to put things aside

like having a daugther! thats awesome dude! hope your family is doing well (and I know you said you might not get back to comics, but if its something you enjoy keep it up when you're free! making comics is fun) ahdksjnd

Neguri-Senpai-Author

I've actually never gone on a hiatus ever since I started really doing my comic. I can't really go on any hiatuses because I market mine as a weekly comic and additionally I have an oddly strong obsession over consistently in my life so I just feel really really weird if I'd do something like a break from my comic even if I needed it ^^; But currently it's not really that bad. I've been consistent with weekly uploads for a bit over a year now (I've started doing it weekly in September of 2018) and I don't plan on going on a hiatus any time soon. Maybe I'll work a bit in advance but I'm not gonna go on a hiatus to get a break

Phin (Heirs of the Veil)

@Pistashi Yeah it's really nice when you finally get a little faster because you optimized your workflow

mathtans

@Pistashi Thanks! Family's doing great, but yeah, most of my free time goes to writing rather than drawing these days. We'll see how things play out.

Desnik

I didn't spotlight my hiatus, but when I finally return to acknowledge it, I'd like to have something to show for it, like a new project or 'this is where I am now' or 'This is what the comic meant to me' so that at least my readers get closure

#ctparchive #comics #webcomics #indie comics #comic chat #comic discussion #comic tea party #ctp #creator interview #comic creator interview #creator babble

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xladymalice · 6 years

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Mhmm

Everyone who doesn't want to see vent, skip or unfollow pls.

-----------

Sometimes I just wonder, if people of this fandom would miss the stuff I create (without including the r18 shit).

I know I've been pretty much silent for the last months but it feels like I'm left out already, since you get forgotten so fast when you don't post actively with high quality things.

Maybe it's just me feeling frustrated at the moment.

Slowly don't know anymore what I want. I used to love the UT fandom lots but like, the flame is dying and that is due to the mass of followers that I look at but do not interact. I receive less feedback than before... (but k, I wasn't active. My bad) Still I kinda miss the days when I had around 1k follower who were all hyped and talked to me.

I really appreciate the people who approached me in here. I gotta say thanks to the fandom that I became so much better at what I do and say thanks for the awesome people I met and enjoy to talk to.

Not to mention the heavy support in hard times I've received. You made me make some dreams come true!!

However, I've had some real bad experiences in here too. I guess it's impossible to go without that, especially with the kind of personality I have. I am still hurting from some blows, that's the soft and weak person I am.

I don't feel like doing much Undertale stuff, it's a chore and seems to get zero to little notice. I only know it's worth trying and posting for the 100 people who actually deal with me and seem to be interested in what I am doing.

They wait for art and my stuff, not for high rated stuff or any explicit ships. This is relieving to know... it does pressure if you have to keep producing for one content purpose only.

I am a bit sorry about the negativity I seem to spread lately. It seems like taking a break and having to work fulltime at a very exhausting job was too much for this blog.

Which shows me that I spent a shitton of time building it up and putting effort into it which is now lost due to some reason? It is scary to see how much you lose after putting your heartbleed into it and building up something so huge. No one can tell me I didn't put thought into my images and comics. They have a deeper reason most of the time...

I know many can see exactly that, but these people became so little and rare too. It's just no fun anymore.

I am really stubborn and I need to finish some important facts about the projects I have here. I worry about the future of SFD if I happened not to finish it. I stated many times that I have troubles finishing things. RL issues included as a hindrance. Motivation as a hindrance. Feedback.

I don't want random people to ruin it or even worse state that its origin is in a noncon enviroment. Disgusting, no, I don't want that. But if I look at how much I have to explain... It's hard. I gotta think up of some solution.

Stating that, I will most likely try to complete Blue's Heat with the 3rd or 4th. There most likely wouldn't be more in that kind of scenario because the story ends there.

Also, I am very much seduced to delete all of my Sympathy content. I do not know if I do, but I can't stand it. I prefer to look at Blue's heat that seems to be liked more anyways.

*sighs*

I have too many random thoughts in my head and the main one is why I keep trying to stay positive in here and think up of something, when it seems barely worth it.

If it wouldn't be for my friends and the followers who chatted with me for a long time, I would've just dropped it all and start anew as a newbie who isn't feared or attacked for every mistake they do.

Let's say I am mad about getting lectured right after posting my last commission. It's nothing personally against the user, I know them a bit. But this shows me how toxic my enviroment became here.

I am positive I show too much of myself and give people things to aim at. But I thought it would make me more believable and easier to approach, there that I am human too.

Huh, I need to get my shit together. Gotta see what I'll do about this feeling.

Very unpleasant.

#malivent #malirant #about this blog #about me #negativity #vent

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sinesalvatorem · 6 years

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Long Term Acid Plans

So it seems some people interpreted the blog posts I made while I was on acid - when I was trying to immediately get down some novel information while being bad at communication - more seriously than I intended. So I should specify what has happened so far and what I plan to do:

All doses I took until last week were below the threshold for actually psychadelic effects. I just took moderate doses where the main effect is stimulating learning and improving creative thinking.

(Dose zero was a test I did about two months ago of an extremely tiny amount so I could be sure I wouldn’t have an unusual adverse reaction to it. Even then I had benzos on hand to bring me down. It mostly just made me slightly loopy and made everything around me nicer.)

The first time I did a large enough dose to noticably impact thinking was the afternoon after my abuser had kind of pushed me to a ‘last straw’ sort of moment, but I didn’t have the confidence to actually upend my life to escape. Then I had a change of perspective, realised how stupid I’d been being for months, and entirely noped out of that bullshit. Since then I’ve been living somewhat precariously (until now, when I’m actually decently stable and safe), but I’m vastly happier, and I think that indicates that I made the right choice. Had I not made that choice, I wouldn’t have a life worth living today, and I have little confidence I’d have had one later either.

The second time I took acid I ended up having conversations with some friends and acquaintances that helped me realise the shape of the holes in my social presentation style. And, as such, why I was so bad at enforcing my boundaries (or having them in the first place). I also was able to make plans with some helpful people that will probably make it easier for me to unfuck my life in the long term.

The third time I took acid was in an actually controlled environment, at which point I took a full dose with psychadelic effects. This was the experience during which I tagged @aellagirl because I wanted to know more about fixing the effects in place. During this trip, I realised the extent to which being around other human beings causes their mental states to bleed into mine just in general, which allowed me to recognise the value of introvert time. I also learned to actually directly value maintaining my boundaries, which is admittedly not the stereotypical acid outcome, and expect to be a lot better at enforcing boundaries in the future.

I also ended up experiencing pain as pleasure, because I started interpreting all intense experience as euphoria. I was very good at sinking into specific experiences if I chose to, except that if my trip partner was in the room I would necessarily devote at least part of my mind to simulating theirs, which prevented total immersion (except that I could still do total-immersion in empathy). Furthermore, I saw entire worlds composed of beautiful shifting geometric patterns. I’m not under any illusions that this world exists, but it was one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen and I’d love to make art of it at some point.

But taking a full dose led me to be more confident of some of the things I’d noticed at lower doses but assumed would stop being true of me at higher doses. For one thing, I was entirely lucid and had no trouble switching between short/medium/long term planning. I was directly enjoying and paying attention to each experience, but also curating the music for my trip partner and I and thinking of songs to switch to based on apparent fluctuations in my partner’s mood. Plus I never lost track of what my post-trip plans were.

The other thing was maintaining enough internal emotional control to make bad trips in general exceedingly unlikely. Generally, any time I might be tempted to feel anxious, I just notice that getting anxious would be dumb and... Don’t do that. This is also what I do when I’m sober, which is why I didn’t see a lot of risk to taking pre-psychadelic doses of acid. I’m just more confident that my sober mental skills transfer to (at least one tab of) acid than I was before. The only time I got anxious throughout the whole trip was when I purposefully induced anxiety so I could enjoy it masochistically, and it ended the moment it was no longer the thing I wanted to explore.

I also had no trouble managing the emotions of my trip partner throughout (which I later realised might be its own issue) and, when she went nonverbal near the end, I started liveblogging aloud her thoughts and emotional state since it felt unfair that she could no longer do this for herself. (I was mostly right throughout this, which I could confirm because she reinforcement-learning!trained me by nodding and shaking her head.)

Having now experienced acid three times, with the most recent one having major (and mostly positive) effects, I want to figure out how to fix some of these effects in place. And my first step is... Not taking acid. In fact, I plan to avoid intoxicants in general for about a month.

My goal is to see how much of the temporary mental shifts due to acid I can fix in place into my sober life using just mindset-regulation. As is evidenced from the “Just don’t get anxious” thing, I’m reasonably good at altering mental states with just conscious attention. I’ve currently been working to keep the masochism on fulltime, which seems to be partially working. I’m hoping other aspects of sensory perception while tripping are also things I can bake in long term.

I think I’m unusually well poised to do this because, well, my baseline is actually unusually acid-like. I have near-unlimited patience in a lot of situations, like waiting for the train, because I have little difficulty immersing myself in my current sensory environment and appreciating each tiny fluctuation. I have a generally rose-tinted perception of, well, everything, because I mentally filter my attention to focus on the good over the bad, and to feel the good components of any experience more strongly than the bad ones. By default, I have whatever the reverse of depression is. Plus I have enough conscious control over this that I can hear the same piece of music five different ways sequentially just by adjusting my filter of what components of the piece are most salient. (It’s really fun to point out different elements of a piece to someone in real time and have their face light up as they notice it and their experience shifts :D)

I’m already a universal love kind of person and find it easy to fall into other people’s experiences through empathy. Plus, given time to zone out and self-focus, I can drastically alter my mental state at will using meditation-adjacent things I developed for myself. Oh, and since I was 12 I’ve been able to move sensations of heat around through my body basically at will in ways that have led the more woo-y people around me to declare that I’m close to “Awakening” while I rolled my eyes.

It’s worth noting that, despite having always been a human composed entirely of ecstasy and acid, I’ve never really fallen into mysticism because of this. I’m just not easy to convince of wishy-washy stuff, even if the wishy-washy stuff attempts to flatter my biases. Especially if the wishy-washy stuff flatters my biases. Oh, so my weird successes with meditation prove that I’m more awakened than other people? What reason do I have outside of my ego to possibly believe that?

See also: Me not thinking my acid visions depict a real place, and the fact that at no point on my trip did I lose the feeling that there was an important sense in which my trip partner and I were distinct people. (She lost that sense, though. Admittedly, I sort of trolled her by mimicking her motions and body language at times to increase this effect, because I’m a terrible person.)

However, at the same time, I’m certainly not convinced enough of my own uniqueness not to think I could possibly experience ego death, loss of lucidity, and a sudden devotion to glowing racoons. But, well, those aren’t things I particularly want? I mean, maybe very temporary ego death, but temporary is the key. I want to use acid to steal techniques for improving my existence, but I don’t want to experience values drift on what my goals are or even whether to have goals.

This is part of why I’m trying to see how much progress I can make during a period of sobriety (which I’m having while in a much more comfortable/stable environment), and why I want to know what the effects of acid-drift are from @aellagirl in as much detail as possible. (Do you have notes or blog posts you were writing during the process, so I can do timeline analysis?)

#tragic backstory #life goals #we are a crowdsourced search engine #drugs cw

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daggerzine · 6 years

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The Vulgar Boatmen interview- Dale Lawrence talks shop.

I had been thinking about sending some questions Dale Lawrence’s way ever since I’d heard the 2015 reissue of the band’s 1989 debut, You and Your Sister (reissued on Time Change Records out of Indianapolis). The band had formed in the late 80’s by two friends (well, sort of....see below) , Lawrence (who was based in Indiana ) and Robert Ray (who was based in Florida). Back then they did it the old fashioned way, by mailing cassettes back and forth (the only way) and that seemed to work just fine. It had been years since I’d heard that debut and the reissue reminded me of how great (and underappreciated) the band was. You’ll hear elements of The Feelies (those jangly guitars and even in the rhythms, too) but also other classic bands like the Velvet Underground and even the Everly Brothers on certain cuts. Their sophomore effort, 1992’s Please Panic was just as good (maybe better) and I never heard 1995’s Opposite Sex (I hope to change that very soon…both recently reissued, see below) and then the band broke up. If you’ve never heard the band’s music and have read this far then by all means do check them out, you won’t be sorry as their songs are truly excellent. Pop music with hooks and plenty of smarts. A month or so ago I sent some questions to Dale and he was more than happy to elaborate on my queries. Read on and when you have some time play “Drive Somewhere” at top volume today!

Robert and Dale, the early years.

Where were you born/where did you grow up?

I was born in Valparaiso, Indiana, and grew up one county over, on a farm outside a town called Hanna, an hour or so from Chicago.

Was your family musical or at least supportive of your musical pursuits?

Neither of my parents were especially musically inclined but I did grow up surrounded (and fascinated) by records. And my parents at least never tried to discourage my musical ambitions.

What was your first band you ever saw live?

I was very lucky -- Neil Young, the 1973 Stray Gators tour (which resulted in Time Fades Away).

What was your initial entry into the world of independent/punk/other music? (I know you were in The Gizmos…..that might need to be a whole other interview!!).

My rock ‘n’ roll life began when I was nine years old and suddenly noticed Top 40 radio on the bus ride home from school: WLS, out of Chicago, 1965, a very good year for radio. (Again, lucky.) By 1976/77, I was in college and listening to the usual suspects, Modern Lovers, Television, Ramones. But hearing the Sex Pistols in the fall of ’77 was really the big corner. It hit me like nothing else before or since, made the world seem like a wholly different place. The sound of those records, the sound of Johnny Rotten’s voice, sounded exactly how frustrating it felt to be alive just then. And it made me want to be in a band, an old ambition I’d largely abandoned as a pipedream. Within weeks, I'd answer an ad and join the Ted Neimeic Gizmos on rhythm guitar.

Ready to rock.

What were the beginnings of the Vulgar Boatmen?

The Boatmen actually began in Gainesville, Florida, a couple years before either Robert or I were involved. At that time it was a very different band, different aesthetic, different set of musicians (oddly enough, a situation pretty similar to the two different versions of Gizmos). Robert was friends with some of the band members and eventually joined, initially as rhythm guitarist. When the main songwriter, Walter Salas-Humara, left to form the Silos in New York, the Boatmen needed new material and started doing some of the songs I’d written in the Gizmos. Robert changed some lyrics, added a bridge or two – these were our first “collaborations.” I was in Indianapolis at that time, leading a band called Right to Left. It was then that Robert and I started collaborating in earnest, sending song ideas back and forth thru the mail.

Where did the band name come from?

The name was already in place when Robert and I got involved. It’s basically a third-graders pun on “The Volga Boatman,” a beginners piano piece. To the extent it doesn’t sound like we’re taking ourselves too seriously, I always liked the name. But we probably would have been smart to try to come up with something more fitting.

Were you and Robert always based in separate states or was there ever a time that you lived near each other?

There were a couple years when we both lived in Bloomington, while he was a grad student and I was an undergrad at Indiana University. We met, weirdly enough, in a class on song lyrics. Robert was the AI and when he mentioned in class that he’d seen Elvis perform in Memphis, pre-RCA, I immediately scheduled office hours with him and we’ve been great friends ever since. Neither of us were in bands at that time, though I'd be in the Gizmos within a few months. We didn’t start writing together until years later.

What do you remember most about working on the songs that would become You and Your Sister?

In terms of writing the songs, I remember consciously trying to use as few chords as possible (a lot fewer than I'd typically employed in Gizmos songs) -- and in particular, concentrating on the I and IV chords, a movement I could hear at the heart of so much music I loved, from the Soul Stirrers to "Road Runner." Also, I remember that having a fulltime songwriting partner was a distinct luxury: two sets of ears to hear rhythmic settings, better odds of finding the right lyrics.

Recording-wise, the album was done at Robert’s house, on an 8-track machine, so I remember hanging out there in Gainesville for weeks at a time. The relaxed schedule that arrangement afforded us might in hindsight be the most important element in the recording process. We could afford not to rush anything. If a vocal or a tempo or a guitar sound wasn’t quite there, we knew we had plenty of time to get it right. I especially remember obsessing over snare-drum sounds. One we were especially happy with was on “Mary Jane” – except that when we tried recording a lead vocal, we discovered that most of what we liked about the snare sound was actually on the scratch vocal track. So that scratch vocal ended up being the actual vocal.

The classic album!

Did you tour much for the record? Ever make it overseas?

We did tour quite a bit for that album, several swings through the south and the east coast, once to the west coast. We did not make it overseas until the second and third albums, when we played Germany, Austria, and England.

At the time of You and Your Sister were you working regular jobs?

I was working for a local record store, traveling on weekends to collectors conventions, hawking bootleg videos – already a bit like touring. Robert had a full-fledged career, teaching at the University of Florida.

Was it basically the same lineup for 1992’s Please Panic?

Well, yes and no. Both albums were recorded by a combination of musicians from both the Gainesville and Indianapolis lineups. (So, for example, there are four different drummers on Sister.) The Indiana musicians used on the second album are mostly different than the ones who had contributed on the first, the Florida musicians were pretty much the same. One difference on the second album is that we had access to studio pro J.D. Foster, who is the main bass player on Please Panic.

The other classic album!

How did the band end…..or did it not? The end for us came, as for many indie bands, when we signed with a major, Warners/EastWest, out of London. We finally had a bit of a budget to make a record and, at first, major promotional assistance. But a shakeup at Elektra resulted in Opposite Sex never seeing a US release, which was pretty much the end of the road. Our pending booking deal with Monterey Peninsula fell through and we were dropped almost immediately by the UK label as well. The band has never officially broken up, but it has become very much a part-time thing. The Indianapolis outfit plays out a handful of times every year.

I noticed that you still play live these days. Is it under your own name or the Vulgar Boatmen?

The Vulgar Boatmen.

What are your top 10 desert island discs? Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man, Louis Armstrong.

Never Mind the Bollocks Here’s the Sex Pistols.

The Complete Buddy Holly.

A Hard Day’s Night (or any of their first five albums), the Beatles.

Stranded (or Siren or Country Life), Roxy Music.

Ella Fitzgerald Sings the Rodgers and Hart Songbook.

The Sun Sessions, Elvis Presley.

Call Me, Al Green.

Astral Weeks, Van Morrison.

Bo Diddley (or The Duke at Fargo or The Definitive Otis Redding or...).

Some of your current favorite bands/musicians?

I listen to way more older music than current stuff, always finding records I hadn't known about before. Right now, I’m listening a lot to Jimmy Reed. Thelonious Monk has been a constant on my stereo in recent years. Two current bands I love are Terakaft and Sufjan Stevens.

A recent pic of the band.

Final words? Closing comments? Anything you want to add that I didn’t ask?

I guess I can plug some rereleases that are about to happen. The first three Boatmen albums are being reissued on vinyl, by Play Loud! Records, out of Berlin. As with the Sister CD, Please Panic has been completely remastered. It will be the first time that Opposite Sex has ever been out on vinyl.

Thanks so much for doing this!

Relevant links below!

www.facebook.com/airportdecisionsinc/

www.timechangerecords.com

www.playloud.org

Their 1995 album.

youtube

Such a classic!

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jefflopez743 · 4 years

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Best RV Mattress: Top RV Bloggers Give Their Tips

Choosing the best RV Mattress?

Most people are used to having a regular and “safe” life. What do they mean by safe? Having a steady job, living in a nice home, paying bills, taxes, mortgage and just being a regular guy. The reality is that nothing is safe or granted anymore. You can do all the right things, and still get fired, lose your home because you can’t afford the mortgage and a bazillion other stuff can happen and radically disrupt the routine of your life.

That is why more and more people choose to seize the moment and live their life to the fullest. They sell their house, buy an RV and travel across the country in their home on wheels. Being able to travel wherever you want, whenever you want is an awesome lifestyle. Although we are sure that RVing brings its fair part of adventures and challenges, we wonder how comfortable is to live full-time in an RV.

A good night’s sleep is a must have after a long day. When you don’t live in a brick and mortar house, then you need to pay extra attention to the bed and mattress that you buy, especially when space is limited. That is why, we asked 39 RV bloggers to share with us

The Top Features That The Best RV Mattress Should Have

We received answers from some of the best digital nomads out there. So, without any further ado, let’s see what are the best RV mattress.

Peter & John TheRVgeeks.com

Peter & John, better known as The RVgeeks, are a couple of “Do-It-Ourselves” full-time RVers who offer RV maintenance, repair & travel tips on their popular video blog and YouTube channel. They’ve handled most of their own RV maintenance during nearly 14 years of exploring North America. They hope their experiences can help other RVers go DIY, saving time & money while experiencing the satisfaction of a job well done.

It may sound obvious, but comfort is key. While a non-RVer may look at the way we live as glorified camping… as full-timers, our RV is our home. So we expect our bed to be just as comfortable as any residential bed. We’re not “camping” but rather living in our home, the same as any owner of a sticks & bricks house, and expect the same comfort in a mattress.

That’s the case even in large RVs where the ample space allows for any size mattress. Despite that flexibility, RVs are notorious for having odd-size mattresses.So the ability to order custom sizes, with the same comfort as a top quality residential mattress, is a great benefit. As mattress “comfort” is such a personal preference, the option of selecting from several different types of mattresses to match our particular idea of comfort was key to our goal of one great night’s sleep after another.

Emily and Mark Fagan Roads Less Traveled

Emily and Mark Fagan are professional photographers and freelance writers who have been traveling full-time by RV and sailboat for ten years. Their blog, Roads Less Traveled, offers hundreds of detailed articles about the RVing and sailing lifestyles and provides travel tips and beautiful photos of their favorite destinations.

As we discuss in our blog post, RVing Tips and Tricks, many RVs come with beds that are not a standard residential size. So, for those RVs, the mattress must be a custom “RV” size or it will hang over the edges of the bed platform.

For instance, a standard Queen mattress is 60” x 80” while an RV Queen is the same width but is a bit shorter at 60” x 75”. Likewise, a King mattress is 76” x 80” whereas an RV King mattress is a little narrower at 72” x 80”.

Finding an RV Queen or RV King size mattress is nearly impossible at most mattress stores unless they are located in an area that has a lot of RV visitors. Putting a residential Queen mattress on an RV Queen bed leaves 5” of mattress hanging over the foot of the bed. Putting a residential King mattress on an RV King bed can be a tight squeeze, as 2” will hang over the base on each side.

As for comfort, that depends on the sleeper! There are fewer options in the RV-specific sizes, but if the RV has a bed platform that is a standard residential mattress size, then the sky is the limit for all types of mattresses.

A foam mattress can be much heavier than an innerspring mattress, and that may make a difference for RVs that are carrying a payload that is near their capacity.

However, foam mattress doesn’t have any parts that rust, a concern if you are RVing in a humid area, as the interiors of RVs are much less climate controlled than the interiors of houses, especially for people who dry camp a lot like we do.

Mildew resistance is also very important for RVers who travel in areas prone to rain or seaside moisture. Memory foam is extremely flammable, and since all RVs come with large propane tanks that can turn the rig into a fire bomb with a single spark in the wrong place at the wrong time, this is a definite concern.

Memory foam can also be very hot, an issue for many RVing women who are experiencing the hot flashes and night sweats of menopause.

Given all of these constraints, we had a latex mattress for nearly four years and we found it was not nearly as comfortable as advertised. We’ve also had a memory foam pillow top innerspring mattress and a standard non-memory foam pillowtop innerspring mattress.

Both of these were comfortable, although the springs lost their spring over time and the mattresses developed two divots where we always slept. Of course, this is a problem for folks living in houses too!

Kimberly Travaglino Fulltime Families

Kimberly Travaglino is the author of “How to Hit the Road”, a comprehensive step-by-step guide for making your family’s full-time RV dreams a reality. She and her husband are the co-founders of Fulltime Families, a company that supports risk-takers, pioneers, and enlightened families blazing their own path across the country.

In my opinion, the best mattress to provide a good night’s sleep in an RV is it’s ability to breath.

Sleeping spaces in an RV can be tight and a mattress that traps heat can keep you tossing and turning and sweating all night long.

Marc and Julie Bennett RVLove

Marc and Julie Bennett are full-time RVers and content creators who live, work and travel full-time from their motorhome while exploring North America and the world. They share their positive, inspiring messages and invaluable advice at RVLove.com where their mission is to help others hit the road and thrive too.

For us, the best mattress has to be a good quality brand that will last for at least 5 years, as we don’t just use it on occasional weekends like many RVers.

As full-timers, this is our home and we sleep on the mattress every night, which means it’s essential that it’s supportive and comfortable to ensure we get a good night’s sleep and also minimize Marc’s lower back pain.

We like a mattress that offers good all round, consistent support (not too hard yet not too soft) and has a heat dissipating memory foam topper. A good protective cover to prevent dust or allergies should be standard.

And it also has to be the right height, length, and width to properly fit on the bed in an RV (ours is a standard full-length Queen) but some RVs do require special sized mattresses.

The other consideration is weight – RVs are more limited in weight than homes, so while we do like a quality, supportive mattress, we also don’t want to carry more weight than is necessary.

Finally, the mattress needs to have some flex as you need to think about getting in through the door of your RV and maneuver it through a smaller as you get into the bedroom.

Cameron RVingPlanet.com

Cameron is an RV Writing Enthusiast who has been camping and RVing for years. He has always loved the smell of campfire smoke and taking long hikes through some of the country’s most beautiful landscapes.

An RV mattress is your comforting sanctuary after a long day of outdoor adventuring or endless miles on the road. Because of that, it needs to be held to a standard that is befitting of those conditions. What are the top qualities of an RV mattress?

1. Comfort – It should go without saying that a bed should be comfortable. But, it goes beyond that; you don’t want to be on the road and have to toss and turn every night, trying to fall asleep and have dreams of your bed back home. An RV trip is a vacation of sorts, so the bed should reflect that level of comfort every night.

Memory foam is a great option for an RV mattress because it is lightweight, inexpensive, and can occupy very little space, which, of course, is the currency of any RV. That said…

2. Size You need the size to accommodate your size. If you’re a six-foot-five man, then you will want to avoid those space-cutting RV mattresses.Keep in mind that most RV mattresses are about six inches shorter than traditional mattresses of the same size category. So, if you’re worried about fitting on a queen, you might consider going ahead with a king. And, finally…3. Durability – An RV mattress undergoes considerable wear-and-tear; even more so than a traditional at-home mattress. Because of this, you want your RV mattress to be outfit to survive long or short trips of considerably excessive use. A good RV mattress needs to withstand the test of time while being subjective to strenuous use for potentially long periods of time.

Mark Jenney RVshare.com

Mark is the CEO at RVshare which is the largest RV rental marketplace in the United States.Most RV mattresses are not memory foam so I always bring a nice memory foam mattress topper with me anytime I’m traveling in an RV for an extended period of time.I like my mattress to have some support and softness at the same time and using a memory foam topper on my RV mattress helps be get a better night sleep while I’m out on the road.

Dan and Diann Bayes EccentricNomads.com

Diann and her husband Dan travel and live in an RV. They share their experiences on their site Eccentric Nomads. Before that, Diann worked in the travel and tourism industry for more than 20 years.

When you make the decision to sell everything you own including your large home and replace it with a 400 square foot RV, you learn a few things along the way. Unfortunately, some revelations come a little too late, like maybe it would have been a good idea to keep that relatively new pillow-top mattress you sold with your oversized bedroom set and put that puppy in your house on wheels.

My husband and I are not spring chickens. He’s 67 and I’m 52 and we’re known as Eccentric Nomads.The name was determined by the looks we got from friends and family when we told them I was leaving my job to see the country in our fifth wheel. Not long into our travels, this eccentric nomad’s back problem reared its ugly head.

After much research and the very convincing comments from a total stranger stating a four-inch memory foam mattress topper from Walmart was more comfortable than his $4,000 mattress, I headed to the retail giant and we slapped it on top of the pitiful excuse for a mattress the dealership provided.

Is it perfect? No. But when you’ve watched the sunrise and the sunset, traveled the countryside, and enjoyed some of the most amazing sites you’ve ever seen, settling in for the evening on four inches of memory foam comfort works for me.

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mfmagazine · 5 years

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Lola and Emily

Article by Diane Walsh

Ah, "Lola and Emily"... when you're looking for Fashion with Passion. Montreal is well credited to be able to boast about is this hot boutique people in the biz are saying is beginning to get attention-worldwide. Quite simply LnE is, beauty-fashion-that can elevate you.

Marnie Blanshay is a Montrealer and the proprietor of this exquisite boutique. Located in none other than the famously uber-hip district known as "Rue St. Laurent" set in Canada's mega-cosmo fashion city, LnE is no ordinary outfit of a store. And guess what, LnE has agreed to an exclusive interview with MF so you have the chance to see just how down-to-earth and rad this business is. Not only that, you get the opportunity to get the insight into how a fashion fixture of this high caliber actually weaves 'round!!

What's fabulous about LnE?

The thing that's always been important from the beginning at Lola & Emily is the atmosphere. Ideally the store makes people feel comfortable...as comfortable as if they were riffling through their friend's closet. When we opened I specifically wanted the store to be the opposite of what I saw as the typical Montreal clothing boutique-cold, dark, and intimidating.

What makes you different in terms of what you "do" with clothing?

Lola & Emily is really at the complete other end of the spectrum. We also try and mix the brands that we carry in the store to reflect a balance of higher end and more accessible fashion-some more basic styling, but also more fashion forward styles. Although you can find many of the lines that we carry in other stores in the city the difference is in the combination of lines that we sell and how we merchandise them. We prefer to offer a lot of different brands even if we only do a small selection of styles for any one season, as opposed to offering just a couple of brands but in great depth (i.e. we would never want to be too heavily identified with just one or two brands...that also allows us to change the look and feel of the store with every new season).

What inspired you to open the store at first?

The store opened on August 9th 2001 so it has been 7 years now. I originally wanted to be on St Laurent because I had been living in the area for about 5 or 6 years and felt that there just weren't any boutiques that I liked. At that time, there was a lot of concrete floor, minimal lighting, tiny changing rooms with no mirror-and the service sucked, quite frankly.

And what led you to shape the process in the way you have?

I remember going into a boutique on St Laurent that had been around forever, with a friend, and watching her suck up to the "salesgirl" [aka sales lady or person, duh] who was completely ignoring her-and offering her no help whatsoever...and I just thought- this is wrong. There is no reason that you should have to suck up to a "salesgirl" so she will get you another size. I think it was literally then that I decided that I wanted to open a store that was the opposite to that.

Can you say a little about the mystique and the actual layout of the store, itself-which is gorgeous to say the least?

The idea behind the store has definitely changed over the years-when we opened, it was really more of a 'concept'. Lola & Emily were characters-personalities. Lola was more fashion oriented, and Emily was more classic. The store was set up to look more like an apartment (in theory) and had a 'bathroom' area with bath products, some kitchen stuff, home decorating items... but as time went on, it became clear that the clothes and accessories were what was moving faster and at a certain point we were giving up selling space for the idea of what we wanted to sell, as opposed to what was actually moving. So it has definitely become less 'concept' driven, and more sales driven. I hate to admit it, but it is true!

Who's involved with you? Tell us-who have you trusted on the road to the LnE success story?

I work with a couple of different people- one of my very old friends, Sally Scott is the Creative Director of the store- she has a big part in doing the windows and coming up with some of the original merchandising ideas that we use. She also does a lot of the buying with me, and designs our in house line called LnE. Then there is Amanda Eaman who started working in the store part-time when she was in school, and then became fulltime and then started buying with us and we now actually have a wholesale company that she heads up. We have an office in the back of the store where all 3 of us work- so I am technically at the store every day- but I don't really work on the floor much anymore.

Are you on the "floor"?

Selling was never my strong suit- so we have about 4 or 5 part-time girls who work at the store. We have been so lucky with our staff over the years- I cannot imagine what we would have done without the girls! A lot of them work at the store an go and do something else and then come back- actually right now we have 3 girls working who have all left and come back... some of them twice! It helps a lot that I trust them all implicitly. It's sort of a friendly place to work, I think. I mean, my Mom stops by a lot. They all know my family and friends- and Sally and I have been friends for 25 years-so that creates a certain familiarity that I think trickles down to everyone- even if they only work a couple of hours a week.

Has anything changed in your clientele over the time span you've been open?

I don't think our clientele has changed so much over the years- and there isn't a lot of growth in the market- Montreal has a pretty small population- and we certainly cater to a higher/more sophisticated demographic- so there are only so many shoppers who are looking for this price-point. As the market changes (new stores open and close) we see some small effects- but not too much. There will always be boutique shoppers- and as long as we can offer them something worth coming back for (selection and service) then I think we have a good chance of keeping our customer base.

I'm guessing UW students would love to know this store exists if ever they go to Montreal! No doubt you must get new students and up-and-coming customers all the time, yes?

We get new customers every year-especially with McGill students. People move to Montreal for 3 years and Lola & Emily has certainly become a favorite spot for some of those "girls"...We miss them when they leave! But there is always a new wave of students, and so [yes] we try and reach out to them as much as we can.

Who likes to buy at LnE, for the most part?

Our customers are anywhere from 20 to 50+-we do get a lot of McGill students who live in the nearby ghetto, but we also have a lot of professional women (actor to doctor) who have been shopping at the store since we opened. We don't necessarily try and sell a whole 'look' to our customers-it's more about finding a few key pieces that will work back to what any customer might have in their wardrobe already. We are most definitely item-driven in that way.

What about sizing? This can be challenging for any inventory comptroller.

Because we do carry so many different brands, it's hard to pinpoint sizing- some of the lines we carry are American, French, Belgian, Danish, Swedish, and Canadian so there are no standards really. Our customers tend to be on the small side- while we try and carry sizes from XS to L (or the equivalent) the reality is that at the end of the season we are left with more large sizes than anything else and as a result we buy more on the smaller size. I myself am a large, so trust me, if we had the market, I would buy everything in large- but we just don't have the market.

Do you have any set/accent signatures?

There is nothing that I would necessarily say that we consistently stock in terms of signature looks or fabrics or accents-it really depends on what we are feeling for any particular season. We do try and stay away from anything that is too trendy- anything that is 'the next big thing in LA' will probably never be in the store. We just don't really buy into that kind of flash-in-the-pan trend stuff- I mean of course we follow trends, but we do try and stay away from the obviously short-lived ones.

Can you tell us a bit about how you "do" your inventory?

We have built up a repertoire of designers and labels over the years that we are loyal to- but we also look for new lines at trade shows, in magazines, online, in other shops, cities...We are always looking for something that is new that not everyone else carries already. In a given season, we do not necessarily place reorders-unless we have a specific request or a style is clearly going to sell out again, we have found that reordering somehow makes the style less special- if you shop at the store regularly, you will learn that we tend to buy maybe 4 pieces in a style and that's it- if you love it you have to buy it when you see it because the supply is limited.

What sort of "dress" are your styles geared toward?

Our selection of clothing is probably more geared towards casual and party... lots of our pieces can be worked in to a professional look as well, but we don't carry suits or full blown ball gowns. I would say our average price point is about $150... We rarely have anything over the $400 mark- and if we do, it has to be spectacular.

Can you talk about your philosophy and perhaps the delicate subject of clothing quality? Might be a biggie question for those who are reading this...I'm just guessing!

Our overall price philosophy is that the price must reflect the quality...We have to be able to stand by our prices so-if someone looks at a sweater that we have and says "why would this plain black turtleneck cost $200?" we can say legitimately that the yarn is from the same factories that Prada and Armani use, the details are such and such and it will last you a good few seasons. If we feel that something is too expensive for what it is (no matter what label) we won't buy it. For example, we were looking at a new line from LA a couple of weeks ago, and the styles were really cute- we really liked them. But a beautiful miniskirt was not fully lined- and would have sold for $225 or $250-I think that if someone is paying that price, they deserve a fully-finished garment. I don't really care how 'hot' the line is and what stars are wearing it... for that price, it should have a lining!

Got it. Ah. So, have to ask-do you sell shoes?

We started selling shoes about 3 years ago and that has been a great addition for us. It is a tougher type of product to carry as you normally need to carry a minimum of 12 in each style and storage is a bit harder than clothes, but our customers have fully embraced the shoes. Some of the lines that we carry are Dolce Vita, Sam Edelman, Matiko, Mogil.

What about accessories? Do you specialize in this?

Accessories in general are also a growth area for us- we didn't used to carry as many as we do now but our scarves, bags and jewelry selections are a great accent to our clothes. Plus frankly it allows people who might not be able to afford some of the clothes to still find something that they love from the store. This goes for some of the more 'tchotcke' items that we have- things like notecards, candles, gift items... I am a total sucker for those kinds of things but I have to limit myself to stocking this stuff around the holidays only as we just don't have the space for it all.

Do you have any designs for expecting moms, their kids and/or their 'hubbies'?

We don't specifically cater to maternity, however I do find that the clothing shapes in the past few years have actually been very maternity friendly. Empire waist and oversized styles can basically double as maternity wear for smaller customers and we have definitely seen a bit of that in the store. We have also recently started to carry a small selection of baby shoes- like TOMS shoes for kids. It's sort of more of a 'gift' item than anything else- people are buying them when they see them as a gift for a friend- we don't really have parents bringing their kids in to be outfitted for their school shoes or anything like that! We are bringing in a couple more lines for spring and will see how that goes. We have a big comfy couch for husbands and we have at least some little trinket-y type stuff around the store that can occupy them- but we don't carry any men's stuff specifically.

What do you make of the whole green thing, say for instance the rhetoric that "black is the new green"?

I am not anti-green however I won't buy something simply because it is eco-friendly. It has to be comparatively stylish and saleable in the same way that a non-eco garment would be. We are certainly seeing more of it around, but I am still not convinced that the styling available in eco-friendly fashion is where it could be... or where it will be. I imagine in the future the options will be much more interesting than they are now.

One hesitates to compare, but if you had to say something on this vein-what would it be?

There are definitely some other boutiques in Montreal that cater to the same clientele as us- but I like to think that we are unique in the way that we do things. The way the store looks is different than most shops- the way we merchandise our stock is also totally different- we use a lot of antique furniture that is for sale so when we do sell something we automatically have to re-merchandise the store. I also hope that our customer service is unique- we really try and make sure that our customers leave the store feeling good- we would prefer that someone leave without buying something if they were unsure then getting home and feeling that they were pressured into buying something- and we are honest.

Where are you with LnE business-wise in terms of today and the future?

At this point, we have been around for a while, and so I do think that we have developed a good reputation-both with our customers and with our suppliers. I think that at the beginning in this business it is easy to get distracted by all the 'fashion' and 'cool' factor-it's so intimidating.

What about your lines? What has been the customer response?

You want to get good lines for the store, and in a lot of cases you will get judged by how you look- are you 'cool enough' to carry a line...That plays a big part at the beginning - I am just glad that I made it through long enough to be able to prove that there is so much more to it than that. This is a business and 'cool' can only get you so far- you have to be able to manage things, pay your bills, stock your store, pay your staff... all the while keeping things interesting for your customers. The feedback from our customers was immediately positive-from the day we opened I would hear people saying how much they loved the store, and that has continued over the years-we have these cotton shopping bags every once in a while with our logo and an image printed on them and we give them out with purchase. And we have customers who tell us that they use the bags ... in Toronto, or New York or Burlington...and someone will come up to them and tell them that Lola & Emily is their favorite store. I am always so amazingly flattered by that.

You offer something that's clearly "more"...and awesome at that-what is it exactly?

I guess the only other thing that I would add is about our own line, called LnE. We design it in house (Sally Scott) and we have been selling it in the store for about 5 years now, to one degree or another. For the past 2 years we have been selling it to some other amazing boutiques across Canada-which is so exciting because these stores are awesome and it is so flattering to have our line there... Having the line also allows us to have something in the store that is unique for Montreal-we don't sell to anyone else here, so it gives us another little unique edge.

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jacquelineshyde · 7 years

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This is a especial tag game, because I was tagged FOREVER AGO by @spacebuck on my other blog (poetdameron) and I always wanted to do it. But by the time I was doing it, I had a thing that didn’t let me and just recently, I found it on my drafts and decided to fiish it.

I’m going to tag my fellow writers @those70scomics, @secayo, @that70sshowgoldencouple, @diosia and @hydelovesloudgirl. If any of you, followers, are a writer and want to do this, do it! (and let me know)

1. What is your favourite sentence you’ve ever written? Why?

This always changes, honestly. So at the moment, I think is this one:

“You have a doll face, and you are so small, you were always” (my) “a doll.”

Because it holds a very emotional stanement in the story, that’s the line that tells the reader everything they need to know about the character the focus is on: he is heartbroken, he lose her forever, and yet he can’t be truly mad at her or at life, because she is finally happy, even if is not with him. And yet, she will always be his doll (loving term he used to call her and that she just said she hates now, because of him).

Hyde’s feelings for Jackie in this fic lays on that comment his drunk ass says.

2. Are there words, phrases, or images that you return to in your writing?

Uhm... I guess when I write sex scenes, there is a 89% of posibility that it sounds familiar if you have been reading my stuff for a while. That’s why I don’t usually write PWP anymore, its boring after a while.

In ‘Sympathy’ the image of the Hunter and the Pray is very important, and the ‘Glowing Muse’ thing I did for Jemima/Jessa and Mila/Jackie is also very present when I write about the characters. Ooooh, the Blackbird thing! It goes more for Jackie, but I use it a lot on my original writing, esp. for Allison in the ‘Layla is Bleeding’ series.

The imagery of the sun also belongs to Jackie in my t70s fanfics. It’s a headcanon fandoms holds dear to their hearts and I’m glad it does because, even before I started to read and to write for this fandom, I had it with me. So she’s the sun, lighting warm and beautiful Hyde’s life.

3. There’s that saying about how good writers just up and steal stuff. Have you ever read anything so good that you just had to have it and put it in what you were writing? What was it? What would you want someone to steal from you?

Oh, Siken’s poetry! Look, that poetry changed my mind for good, it blow my world into oblivion and I came back a new woman. So there are times in which certain lines may sound like him, and some are from him (but I always mention the thing in the notes of the fic and never does this in original writing, unless is an actual quote).

And as for me, I have actually found lines from my own poetry in fanfics and edits (always credited to me, thank you to you all), and it always makes me really happy.

One I’ve seen people really likes is the “give me home in the galaxies of your shoulders”, the entire “i’m the doomed” poem, “the sole taste of your name excites me” and “the line between you and desire is too thin” from ‘A Word or Two For Ben’.

While from ‘Jackie On My Mind’, people really likes the ‘Truths That I Owed To You’ poem. Especially section I, “I always wanted to kiss you”. Another one they like it’s ‘You’re all I want’.

4. Multi-chapter fic or one shot? When writing multi-chapter (if you do), do you plan everything ahead and then write, or do you just write as you go along?

I used to prefer one-shots, but stuff always got out of hand. I write a lot and I feel like it needs to stay that way because otherwise, it won’t be what I want it to be. You feel me? So right now, I’m working more with multi-chapter stuff.

I always plan everything beforehand, always. But most times, there will be changes while passing the bulletpoint scenes to actual moments on the story. That’s one of the best parts on writing.

5. What motivates you to continue a fic you’ve already started and shared?

The desire to finish stuff is always with me. I’m a perfectionist and I tend to keep my work going since I can’t allow myself to have the failure of a dropped project.

Another thing that keeps me goings is reader’s reaction. Reviews not so much, because I’m used to not have many or even any, but the reaction at tumblr and twitter, when people talks to me about it. It keeps me alive.

6. Is there anything in your writing you’d like to change or improve?

There’s a lot. Everything. Especially because english is not my first language, so I would start with that. I need a better english or I will suffer my whole life.

7. Is the fic you like to read the same as the fic you like to write?

Some times. But I’m pretty selfish with my stories and ideas, so I tend to believe I’m the only one who can write my idea. And I always want/love my idea too much.

8. How many fandoms do you write for? Are they all for one medium (television, books, film, etc.) or more than one? If more than one, is there a different feeling to writing for one as opposed to another?

Currently, just That ‘70s Show. It’s a fandom that has inspired me in such a positive way, I can’t stop loving it and having ideas for it. So at the moment, these character’s have my brain an heart put on them.

Some times I still write a one shot or two fro Jessa and Adam (Girls), Beck and Johanssen (The Martian). Those two couples seem to be like my always there ships lol.

It seems to me that I tend to write more and better for tv shows. Proably because it gives you more time to meet the characters and give you material to work with, and because, most times, tv writers are pretty bad and one as a fan want to fix some shit.

The difference between writing for a TV show and for a movie/book is exactly what I just mentioned. Shows often give you more information, it gives you more chance to work with different stuff. And movies limitates you in some ways, unless you get pretty creative. Which is something I love, too.

9. Is there something that you want to write that you haven’t yet? What’s stopping you?

There’s a lot I want to write right now. I have a whole pge of different plots I want to write here.

But it’s more the fact that I don’t have time or the energy. I’m always busy or having a bad time, and sometimes the inspiration just doesn’t come.

And well, right now, there’s a messy situaiton I want cleared up before I can finally write.

10. What’s the one no-good trope that’s #problematic that you just can’t break up with?

I don’t write shit. But I used to. I used to love omegaverse like, two years ago. Just last year, I wrote my last omegaverse as a gift to someone I love, but after that I even told her I won’t anymore.

Other than that, nah. I’m very careful with shit.

11. Post a link to one of your fics that you think has been overlooked and would like for more people to check out! :)

Everything I have ever done for the t70s fandom would do, honestly. So here’s a link to my ffnet account lol. HERE.

#tag games :)#about me #spacebuck #writer tag #my writing

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patrickbaeddman · 7 years

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btw this wall of text is funny and has jokes so dont be afraid to read it in full♥( like i never read theory posts i just skim cuz they’re usually really boring)

im genuinely asking all you girls lol. i think that theory and stuff is fun but its got a lotta girls caught up in it to where they think all issues are equal. because in theory they are. but this is totally war, like, our numbers are limited. and also we cant afford to make things any easier for people who are invested in killing us.

like in theory what if we had a utopian capitalist society; trans women would be treated perfect, cis women would be treated perfect, etc, except for that capital would exist lol but im just saying its capitalist because of the epistemological impossibility of describing a post-capitalist society. so cis women would have their uteruses respected and all that stuff (what do cis women care about????? idgi tbh) and trans women would y’know, not be in the absolute shithole.

so in that situation theory coincides with and applies to society so if a misogynist trend appeared it wouldnt hurt trans women to work with cis women on whatever was an issue with them with that. well the only thing that would hurt would be being seen in public with such unfashionable people. but i digress.

however in this late capitalist metadata-shaped reality, if we want to really center and support ourselves and our sisters, we have to preform some kind of triage. triage is a practice in medicine and more specifically field, military, and emergency medicine by which doctors quickly determine prognosis (oversimplified: how likely someone is to survive) and more importantly the effect of treatment on said prognosis. and then decide the order to treat injured based on that analysis. so basically they treat the ppl with severed limbs first so they dont bleed out, but the people cut in half last cuz it would be near impossible to save them anyway. you probably already knew all this, like, if you’ve seen apocalypse now or anything but i just really like talking about medical science lmao. humor me.

so we have to decide where the focus of social and material resources is most important and will do the most good for tw. thats pretty intuitive. i think if i said that to any tw i know shed agree. well tw dont usually agree with my taste in icecream muchtheless politics so maybe not. anyway :p♥

looking at it from a military/conflict analytical perspective, because there’s little difference between physical and emotional conflict and often its helpful to look at them the same, there are a lot of people working on cis womens “rights”. in fact many men also work with cis women on their ~issues~ ; trans guys being especially invested in this cuz its a way to be transmisogynist and gain power 4 free basically. cis women have that shit on lockdown, lemme tell you. they’re bringing their boyfriends and everything. meanwhile our boyfriends or cis girlfriends dont wanna be seen with us. but like i said a bunch already, nobody’s even working for trans womens basic needs (not rights) except ourselves. let me say: every time we go participate in a womens march, in a trans march, we’re getting played hard.

like hard girls. like major funny business. like serious shenanigans. why? because cis women and trans men use us and our incredible skill, talent, etc, and get us to organize, direct, speak at, etc the march and they get all the benefits. we get none. in fact we usually get sexually assaulted, traumatized, verbally assaulted, et ceteraaaa. like, are you seeing what im seeing? my triage says that thats definitely NOT something i should get within 10 miles of. dont rhetorically defend that, dont go, dont give your labor to ppl who are lookin to simply exploit you and send you home with less that you masked up with. or pussy hatted up. god thats the worst. fashion nightmare.

everybody has limited resources. it simply doesn’t make sense to spend our resources as tw on stuff which doesnt give back. every time you theoretically defend cis women in even a minuscule way i wonder why?? cuz the problem is you’re not gonna get anything from it! i mean maybe this is too max stirner but not really cuz what i’m saying is that we are small in active numbers, and we dont get any tactical assistance from anyone but our selves, and thus its crucial to focus solely on gaining resources for and preserving our own selves. especially when its not just a waste, its dangerous. the more leeway cis women get from trans women, the more they will exploit that and exploit the trans women in their movements; and use those women to decredit the women outside of their movements. dont be a token! i’m not kidding when i say you won’t get anything out of it.

remember the study that said trans women participating in communities are more depressed than trans women who dont. cis womens movements will suck you dry. okay that sounds kinda hot. they’ll do it in a non-hot way. they will use your brilliance for their own ends and dehumanize your daily life.

so when you give your energy to them, whether you’re a fulltime h8r like me or you dont really h8 anyone (i bet theres someone you h8 dont lie to yourself, we’ve all got that dark side hatred inside us), its not useful to ever focus on cis women. even if you like them a lot they dont really need your help. unless you’re a hardcore masochist and wanna never focus on yourself and only focus on others, which i get, its kind of a thing with tw, but lemme tell you its the most dangerous goddamn thing when done with cis women. at least if you put the needs of other tw over your own they will prolly help you in return! anyway please become an egoist and put your needs above others. thats not even actually egoism, so dont even worry about karl marx’ ghost coming to haunt you.

trans women need to use that kind of thinking more than any other kinda people, but we like put ourselves first the least! we are way too selfless. and literally everyone is conspiring to play the fuck out of us so we are sooo vulnerable to being tokens and hurting ourselves by giving energy to communities that just wanna exploit us. it sux!!

the moral of the story is, please never talk about uteruses and vaginas and reproductive rights and petty acts of misogyny like catcalls ever again lol, cuz the (millions) of cis women who talk about those things have got way more resources to fight those things which are comparatively nothing to what threatens trans women, and they are also 100% invested and complicit in your exploitation and demise! also it makes me sad cuz i want sisters to care about me and focus on me (and themselves) cuz i’m super vain.

i feel like what politics posts are missing on tumblr is like, honesty! ive become way more honest this year and i dont think it detracts from what im saying to say that posts focusing on trans women and validating us and totally tossing out all the cis bs thats constantly around us make me feel more cared about and more happy. i want people to care about my experiences and listen and share my passionate emotions. im extremely passionate about trans women fucking winning at life. and i know that cis women, men, every non trans woman always tries to stop me and my sisters from winning at every fuckin turn! damn! that sux!! but we have to deal with it, forreal, like, we can and will win by ourselves. nobodys gonna help us, as fucked up as that is, we have to make our own lives and come into our own resources and contacts and happiness and safety. but i know we can. and i know that cis women especially, who are very sneaky and try to pull like 10 fast ones on us a minute, (how do they do that) can be soooo harmful for us. anyway indulge me and just try not really focusing or contributing to cis womens or “transgender” movements et cetera et cetera cuz it’s the way2go. focus on yourself, real life, not theory, (like not theory as a huge major thing in your life its totally fun as a hobby, just dont let it control how you like, relate to people! cuz i see that a lot), your sisters, and winning. dont put your energy towards movements that really, honestly, will never be able to truly see you as human and give you any support or benefit whatsoever. jeez why’d i write this post this is so long wtf i never go on tumblr ok bye girls♥♥♥

dont believe the hype, bitches are the lowkey fbis sis !! ♥♥♥

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