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#thank you for nothing you useless reptile
dogueteeth · 8 months
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Ximmara(Tav): I may be a Big Dumb Lizard...
Astarion: ... but...?
Ximmara: ... 'but' what? That was it.
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violet-moonstone · 7 months
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"It's an occupational hazard!"
"You just gestured to all of me."
"That’s...for everything else."
And
"Don't you know the trapper's trap can trap the trapper?"
Are some of my favourite httyd quotes and gods be damned if I don't shoehorn them into my fics whenever the opportunity arises.
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its-me-mara-jade · 1 month
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Help
Does anyone know where to buy lizard repellent? This is the third day in a row I've woken up with an ysalamiri infestation in my apartment
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starsketchez · 1 year
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Why did nobody tell me the release of the first HTTYD's anniversary was a week ago.
I was so focused on Sleuth Jesters I completely missed the anniversary of the start of my dragon fixation.
Screaming
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14, 18, and 21 u bean
This ask is from 2020. I can't believe I'm only seeing it now. Anyway pretending you asked this for this year...
14. Bambina, Vampire Weekend
18. Call Me in the Afternoon, Half Moon Run
21. First Time, Hozier
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bookishlu · 2 years
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“thank you for nothing, you useless reptile” is peak comedy
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am0o5 · 11 months
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Bilbo, when Smaug kept bashing the arkenstone around the treasury: Thank you for nothing, you useless reptile.
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I´ll Show You (Hiccup x Reader), Chapter 1: "Weirdo"
Author's note: Another book! Yay! I've read familiar books like this, but the opposite way around. Also, I don't think they focus enough on the "living in this world"-part. Idk, maybe it's a lame idea, but I thought it would be kinda cute. Hope you'll it enjoy!
Words: 1347
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Your pov:
"Thanks for nothing you useless reptile". I looked up from my phone to see a guy standing in front of me. I gave him a confused look. He smiled at me before hunching over the table to where my backpack was laying, tapping the pin of Toothless that was embroidering it. "Oh, that one totally slipped my mind" I said while facepalming myself. The guy giggled while taking a seat beside me on the beach. I'm currently at school, waiting for my second lesson to start. My school's cafe would be the spot I'd usually spend the time between my classes. Though I usually share this super hectic activity with my best friend Emelie. So I didn't mind some company with this guy I've never met before. "It's okay... so, you like the 'how to train your dragon'-movies?" he asked, looking up at me. "Yeah, they're really good" I said nonchalantly, trying to hide my admiration for the movie trilogy. I don't want to come out as a nerd. "Yeah, they're good movies. Toothless and... uh... what's his rider's name again?" "Hiccup" I quickly filled in. "That's right.... Hiccup. Quite a stupid name, don't you think". His eyes never left my face, almost like he..... admired the way I spoke about the franchise. But I didn't mind. I actually appreciate him asking these questions since Emelie never did. Plus he at least seems to be interested to hear my answers. "No, I think it's really cool. A rare name, but still suits his personality. If anything I'd say it's a bold choice of the author", he laughs again, making me smile. I enjoyed the fact I could make someone laugh two times in three minutes. "So what's your name?" he then continued. "(y/n)". He nod his head before reaching his hand out towards me, "Hey (y/n). I'm Toby. Nice to meet you". I accepted his hand and answered with a smile. Before I got to say anything else, the bell rang that signalist my lesson is about to start. "Well that's my cue. It was nice chatting with you, Toby" I said while rising from my seat. Toby nodded as he went up as well. "See you around, (y/n)!" he yelled before disappearing around a corner. I grabbed my backpack and tossed to over my right shoulder before heading to class.
As I sat down for lunch I all of a sudden hears "Hey, dragongirl!". I shot my head toward the food station to see Toby waving at me with a wide smile. I notice all the eyes on me from the rest of the lunch hall. I tried to hide my face as good as I could using my hands as the redness increases. But I removed them when I heard someone clearing their throat in front of me. I raised my glance to see Toby standing right in front of my table. "Is this seat taken?" he asked while giving me a warm smile. I shook my head, once again getting reminded of my sick best friend. I readjusted myself as he took the seat in front of me. "I was thinking as you like the franchise so much, have you ever fantasized about meeting one of the characters?" he asked casually, while taking a bite of his food. Me, thinking it's just a normal fangirl-question, answers it without thinking much about it "Yeah, I think having Hiccup as your best friend would be sick". "Oh, so you sympathize with Hiccup?" he raised an eyebrow at me. I shrugged my shoulders, feeling a bit self conscious about my answer due to his reaction "Well h-he seems like someone w-who would make a good friend" I stuttered. Toby chuckled, obviously noticing my nervousness, "No need to be scared, I'm just asking you a question. I'm just curious" he reassured me. I let out a relieved sigh before taking a sip of water. A silence took over before Toby spoke again "What if I told you I can make that come true?". "Huh?" I asked, rather confused. "What if I told you I can get you to meet, in this case, Hiccup?". I looked at him, frowning. "What, your brother cosplay as Hiccup, or something?" I chuckled. "No, no, no. You can meet the real Hiccup", I looked at him for a while. This guy is so full of shit. "Sure, have him come knock at my door with a bouquet of white roses" I said sarcastically before I stood up and left. How stupid does he think I am?
As I left the lunch hall it wasn't long before my next and last class of the day would start. I did think back to what Toby had told me earlier. What was his deal? He got some type of bet with his friends who could trick a girl to believe the most stupidest thing? Or was he stupid to believe it himself? Weirdo. I wasn't in the mood to be apart of some woodoo-shit, even though I didn't believe in it I still didn't want to risk anything by trying. Class finished and I went home. The distance between my house and school is about a 10 minutes walk. Very nice if you every run late. If you take the bike you could half that, but I like to walk. It helps me sometimes if I've had a bad day. As I opened the front door to my house I chocked my "hello", realizing no one would answer. My parents were on a job trip, leaving me alone. They asked me multiple times if they should call someone over, but I insisted on being alone. Being my introvert self, this could do me some good. Though that didn't mean Emelie didn't suggest throwing a party every weekend. But I stood my ground. No parties and no babysitting. I would have all the time to myself. 
After hanging up my jacket and kicking off my shoes, I went up to my room. I drop my backpack by my nightstand and spread myself out on the bed, let out a long sigh. "Survived another day at school. Only one more day till it's the weekend" I told myself as I closed my eyes. I opened them again at the sound of knocking at the front door. I could tell I had fallen asleep due to the darker shade of the sky peak through my window. I pulled myself out of my bed and glanced at the clock on my night stand before jogging down the stairs. 8:10 PM. "I said no parties on the weekends, Emelie!" I yelled, being 110% sure it's her on the other side of the door, preparing a speech to change my mind. Even though she's sick it wouldn't stop her if there's a possible party involved. Trust me. I've been friends with her since kindergarten. She the type of girl who's taken her first sip of alcohol when she's 10. It's kinda funny since we're almost the complete opposite. But I guess that's what happens when you choose your friends while so little. You haven't developed into the people you are yet. But despite our differences I wouldn't want to live without her. It's something with friendships you create so young, you fight harder to keep them. I turned the lock and opened the door. The smile I had on soon faded and a shocked expression took over. This can't be real. "(y/n)? I believe I'm at the right house. But I'm not sure, I'm not from around here" he chuckled nervously. This is impossible. I looked at the scar on his chin, the emerald green eyes.
"Hiccup?"
Next Chapter
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Author's Note: There will be longer chapters from now on. I just couldn't come up with anything to extend this chapter.
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idiot-mushroom · 1 year
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12Raph just like that one httyd quote: “thank you for nothing, you useless reptile.
but at one of his bros lmao
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there u go ;)
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reavenedges-lies · 2 days
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Thank you for nothing you useless reptile
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franklin-the-speedy · 8 months
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Me when delta quadrant: thank you for nothing, you useless reptile
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The absolute deadpan delivery of Hiccups lines while Toothless is acting up during the flight with Astrid sends me every time
Because it sounds just like what I’m like when my dog stops listening to me on a walk
“And now the spinning. Thank you for nothing you useless reptile”
“C’mon we’re leaving. Or not. Or we could just eat grass. Get off the damn greenery “
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rubybloodhound · 3 months
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Thank you for nothing, you useless reptile. /ref
Hello furries as you can see I finally made an intro,,, heh giggles loudly
About me!! :3
I'm a Book kin and her #0.5 fan :33333
I'm the official CEO of Book x Cabby back off
I use she/they/it/xe/star pronouns and am a demigirl dragongender!! I also have some other neos but this ain't about them I use :3 alot
Dni/Thin ice
DNI
Basic dni, + Pro/comshippers, people who sexualize pokemon, people who think the vaporeon copypasta is funny (Ok if close), people who still hate Book for the TacoBook arc (She fucking changed jesus christ man) /hj, and ofc... Nickcase/OJsalt shippers
(apart from a few exceptions)
THIN ICE
Book haters, people who bash others interests, annoying people, fireafy shippers, uhh more coming soon
Use tonetags around me or I'll eat you
Just some bonus things
I don't tag swearing! I also swear a lot so,,, oopsie
This is MY blog I get to choose what I reblog
Cringe culture is actually dead and it's grave is a bathroom
Local oc x canon lover, if you have a problem with that the door's right there
I'm fucked up in the head
Also read this btw V
Tag things (Not complete shit oops) #book content - BFDI Book reblogs #desi yaps - The YAPPER (Me) #gender hoard - My xenogender hoard more... comin' soonnnnnnnn
Sneezes loudly
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meowcats734 · 9 months
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[Soulmage] Helplessness is Freefall
“Why am I in—” I started to say, but Witch Aimes shot me a scathing glare.
“You’re wasting my time,” she snapped, “and that means people are getting killed. If you try to poach someone’s girlfriend during wartime again, I’ll lock you in a slow room until the war’s over.”
“I didn’t try to—”
“Your word against his, and I’m not losing a capable light-wielder over a useless first-year. Now get to safety, you imbecile.” Before I could defend myself, Witch Aimes flicked a hand at me, and space twisted to swallow me whole.
###
Witch Aimes’ personal dimension was… bizarre. There was no air save for what she brought in with me; somehow, she’d anchored a spell of freedom to my soul, serving the twin purpose of keeping me breathing and pushing me forwards through the endless plane. That was good, because even though I could still see the chapel grounds around me, my body phased through them like they were cheap projections on smoke; I had no ability to do anything but flail in useless panic as Aimes’ spell sent me hurtling towards the theater. And for some reason, there was absolutely no sound save for the rushing of Aimes’ wind spell around me, leaving me with nothing to do but watch helplessly as buildings fell and soldiers died, all in total silence.
And I got a front-row seat to the entirety of the Battle of Silentfell.
In the sky, a fully-grown riftmaw whipped its sinuous body from side to side, slapping aside the tiny hearth dragons that were dive-bombing the monstrosity. I wasn’t sure why the poor, dumb reptiles were so intent on sacrificing themselves to irritate the beast, but I silently thanked them—if the riftmaw got off a breath attack, whatever it had aimed at would become nothing more than rubble. Arrows flew up at the aerial battle, exploding into fire when they broke, but some kind of spell was wrapped around the riftmaw, knocking aside the hail of enchanted munitions like snowfall in wind. Every now and then, a beam of light that outshone the sun would strike the riftmaw, so pure and intense that it left patches of scales burned and smoking, and the riftmaw would writhe in mute agony.
On the ground, the battle wasn’t looking any better. I blurred by scenes of frozen, brittle ruins and shattered corpses, and for a heartbeat I was on another battlefield, the bodies falling with I forgive you on their lips. Then I shot past Jiaola’s house and snapped out of it, just in time to see the old witch snarl in defiance, straining with concentration, as he defended his house and the civilians inside with a twenty-meter-wide dome of solidified air.
The people of the Silent City weren’t taking the invasion lying down, either. The militia had mobilized, and squadrons of disciplined, armored soldiers that hurled heat from their spears pushed back roving packs of Redlander witches, scattering when a heavier hitter came and holding what ground they could. Non-combatants ran damage control and defended civilians as they fled, sometimes paying with their lives. An old, determined woman slowed a falling boulder as dazed children fled from beneath it; a school nurse grimly healed what was left of a half-frozen soldier; a cafeteria cook dragged a wooden beam off an unidentifiable body.
As I neared the theater, I even saw Iola himself stride into battle, despite the admonishment of the teachers at the door. His face was twisted in a sadistic smile as he cast a spell that had no apparent immediate effects other than some mild skin burns—but the Redlands witches that he pointed at fell ill minutes later, vomiting and bleeding and dying a painful death.
Finally, Aimes’ spell spat me out at the other end of the portal, hurling me into the cramped interior of the theater. I materialized in a sealed, warded box—perhaps they were wary of enemies launching a sneak attack?—but after a teacher confirmed my identity, I was hauled out of the box and into the theater proper.
Lucet found me moments later, and her words tripped over themselves as they sprinted out of her mouth. “I’m sorry, Iola gave his version of the story first and Aimes wouldn’t listen to me, and he looked so smug until Aimes said she was going back to get you, and I didn’t want you to die, and—”
“Hey, hey, hey, it’s out of your hands, okay?” I flinched as something exploded nearby, but other than a slight rain of dust from the ceiling, nothing happened. “Whatever happens from here on out, there’s nothing we can do.”
Lucet gave me a shocked look, then laughed. “Is—is that your idea of comforting? What about, like, ‘everything is going to be okay?’”
I gave Lucet a pained smile. “I’ve been here before, Lucet. It’s not going to be okay. People are going to die, and there’s nothing we can do to stop it. All we can do is survive, and we’ve done that much so far.”
Lucet drew in a deep, shuddering breath. “Survive,” she whispered. “I can do that.”
We held each other in the darkness of the theater as destruction rained from the sky.
A.N.
Soulmage is a serial written in response to writing prompts. Stick around for more episodes, or join my Discord to chat about it!
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noelledeltarune · 5 months
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i forgot how much i love this scene LOL. "thank you for nothing, you useless reptile." is so funny
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