#that probably never even existed. + like I said not a huge fan of how her chara was treated but she represented hope for a reason

[foone]

weird thought: I think if I was a teenager now (or anytime in the last decade or so) I think I would have written (and read!) a lot more fanfic than I did in reality, where I was a teenager in the 90s.

See, I've never been hugely into fanfic. Never had anything against it exactly, but it just wasn't something I was into. But I think that has to do with an interesting combination of how my brain works and what time I was first really getting into being a fan.

I've got a "librarian" brain (I'm literally typing this from within a library, WHERE I WORK). It wants to know things like "what are all the works in this series/by this creator?" and "are they all accessible?" and "what info is available about how it was made?"

I'm the kind of person who will watch a show then go look it up on wikipedia to see how many seasons it has, who made it, if they're still making it, check tvtropes for any more info, etc. Or I hear a song I like by a band I've never heard of, so I go listen to their entire discography while researching them. I just focus on things I'm into that way, you know? I don't half-ass my interest. (this is probably related to my autism, of course)

So what does this have to do with fanfic? like, do I go read some fanfics as part of this process? No, and I think the reason for it is when I specifically first got into fandom, as a teen.

See, this sort of fandom-librarian was harder to do in 1997, you know? You couldn't just pull up the wikipedia for that new show and see how many episodes it had. You also couldn't just listen to the whole discography of that band! Forget Spotify or Google Music, even Napster didn't exist yet.

So my interest in fandom focused a lot more on very basic questions: How many episodes/albums/books/whatever are there? Where can I see/hear them all? Like, I remember getting excited because I found some fan magazine that had a list of all the Star Trek: The Next Generation episodes. Just a list! Not even descriptions or anything. I finally could take that list and see how many I'd seen, so I'd know when I saw them all in late-night reruns.

So I'm focusing on these very basic parts of being a fandom-librarian and I stumble across some fanfic. I'm like "oh, is this a transcript of an episode I haven't seen yet?" and I realize it's not, it's a story written by a fan, and I get a knee-jerk reaction of "that's not helpful to my quest to know and find all the episodes". It's like I am on a quest for the holy grail and I found a fake cup. It's not helpful to me, and at worst it's a distraction from my goal.

And the thing is, I think the fact I had that reaction is entirely due to the time and situation in which I first encountered fanfic. It was in that environment of "I can't even find a list of the episodes, let alone a way to watch them all!" and that anxiety that colored my response to finding fanfic.

I think if I instead was first introduced to fanfic NOW, where those fandom-librarian drives aren't so difficult to fulfill, I'd be way more positive about fanfic. If I could get a list of episodes with a quick google search, and watch them easily on netflix/prime/whatever, I'd be less "THIS DOESN'T HELP! I AM STRUGGLING WITH THE BASICS HERE!" and more "yay, more content for the fandom I'm obsessed with!"

Like I said, I'm not anti-fanfic, I never have been, I just never got into it. From the beginning I had this reaction that was "this is not useful" and I never developed any real interest in it. Which is a shame, honestly. Fanfic is great. It just never became one of my interests, and while I've written it and read it from time to time, I imagine I'd be way more into it if I didn't have the weird reaction to it due to the worries of the time in which I first encountered it.

I don't know how many other people have brains that work anything like mine, but if they exist, I'm glad they're now growing up in a world where they won't have these problems. They can get into fanfic without this weird baggage caused by a lack of information.

#fanfic meta

[muninnhuginn]

li tianxi blaming herself for her parents not divorcing and because they don't things escalate past boiling point. blaming herself in the first place for the tensions between them because she has needs and not everyone is willing to try and meet her with them. li tianxi choosing to look away and not say what she sees anymore so this won't repeat. but in the process just ending up enabling tianchen as he spirals down and down.

li tianchen blaming himself because he wanted to fix things for his mum and do what she couldn't but instead he gets her dead. and tianchen just wants to protect tianxi like he failed to protect his mum but he doesn't try to actually *understand* her. so instead his efforts eventually drive her away because there's only so much she's willing to take. she didn't want to be 'protected' like this.

they've both lost their parents and tianxi doesn't want anyone to suffer as she has whilst tianchen wants everyone else to suffer as he has. everyone except tianxi.

wanting to protect someone but not giving them the agency in the decision. in whether they even want to be 'protected' in this way.

#me as always linking it back to the shiguang dynamic with that last sentence huh #link click #link click spoilers #sth again about cycles of abuse. tianxi the eternal victim. tianchen the victim at first but needing the control to never be a victim again #calling it 'hunter' bc that's what he's been told and it's what he clings to bc if not he's just another wild hurt beast #I don't know how much is intentional but the way that the twins' roles are gendered is kinda interesting? #not totally sure if I'm a fan (esp w/ what happened to ltx) but I can see what I think it's getting at #when they had ltc refusing the phone call bc 'no one in the family is mentally ill' + qj's arc having those toxic masculinity vibes #qj taking the role that li fan originally held so even when the twins escape they never actually do. they're held in these roles. #also. it's interesting that ltx was always considered disabled before anything else happened. + then the mutism was the trauma response. #like. her very existence she felt was the cause of tension and she had that knowledge but wanted them to stay as this happy family #that probably never even existed. + like I said not a huge fan of how her chara was treated but she represented hope for a reason #she had that hope within her back then and held onto it until now. it could only die with her. and that's why tianchen lets go. #shiguang daili ren spoilers

[wongyuuu]

lens of ice | yjh | one

pairing: jeonghan x f!reader genre: figure skater jeonghan, light angst, a little fluff, smut in the next part word count: 12k summary: jeonghan has only one chance left to make it to the olympics. as he embarks on this decisive journey, you, a documentarist, are set to follow him as he seeks the ultimate glory. warnings: jeonghan is kind of reckless with his body a/n: i've been writing this one for so long now and though it's not finished yet, i decided to post half of it, as a way to motivate myself to finish it. i really wanna thank @ressonancee first for giving me idea and second for helping me through all of this and putting up my crazy ass mind 💓

part one | part two (final)

The light buzzing of the fluorescent lights made him uncomfortable, it was like a premonition of what was to come. Something bad, he was sure.

Jeonghan was many things in his life, stubborn perhaps being the most obvious one, but dumb wasn't one then. He knew that his ankle was fucked up, that he was probably the cause of it. Too many hours of training, never giving himself enough time to heal before he got the ice again. He didn't know exactly how bad it was, that was for the doctor in front of him to say, but Jeonghan knew that nothing good would come out of the man's mouth.

"It's worse than I thought," the man said with a sigh, taking off his glasses "It's not just your ankle anymore, it's also your knee. And, I could be wrong, but considering the way you're walking, I'd say that you're right ankle also started to bother you"

Jeonghan hung his head. He was an athlete and he knew that he was being reckless, beyond actually. He should have gone to his coach the second he felt a sharp pain in his ankle. But he just went home, took an ice bath, and kept the whole thing to himself. Even on the following days, when the pain didn't go away at all, he still chose to keep his mouth shut and go to practice every day. And his coach, unaware of his condition, kept pushing him during practice. 

Not that he needed anyone to be harsh on him, Jeonghan did all of that on his own. But having someone else do that for him as well brought out a different desire for perfection. One that came from a dark place to show someone else that he was good, to prove people wrong.

"Can I still compete?" was all he asked, it was the only thing that mattered to him "Can I make it to the Olympics? It's the last one for me, after this I retire"

The look on the doctor's face wasn't reassuring, Jeonghan knew that his next words wouldn't be the ones he wanted. He wasn't about to hear what he needed.

"If, and only if, you have surgery, take physical therapy seriously, and rest as we instruct you, there might be a possibility. Small, but it exists" 

"When can I have the surgery?"

You stared at your computer screen, a hand on your forehead as you read the email your boss sent you. You sat at your desk, not really knowing what to do.

"Seungkwan!" you called without looking up "Did you get this email too?"

Just to make sure that you weren't crazy, you read it once again. The third time in less than five minutes. No matter how many times you read it, it didn't change.

"Yeah. I'm excited but scared…"

That was enough to get your attention.

"Why?" 

Closing your laptop, you stood up moving closer to Seungkwan. Unlike you, who read the email many times, Seungkwan had already started his research. Not that he really needed to, everyone at the office knew that he was a huge fan of figure skating. So of course he would know all about Yoon Jeonghan.

The nation's pride and joy in figure skating, at least in the make category.

"Why scared? I thought everyone loved him"

It was impossible to look away from the picture Seungkwan had open on his computer. Jeonghan's face really was something else, as if he had been carved in marble by some ancient Greek artist. From his dark hair covering his eyes, giving him almost a mysterious vibe, to the way his lips were slightly crooked into a smile. You had to give it to him, the man was absolutely stunning. No wonder he left a trail of fans everywhere he went.

"He isn't the biggest enthusiast when it comes to the press. He barely gives interviews so I guess doing a documentary about him won't be easy"

Seungkwan kept scrolling, reading the latest news on Jeonghan. But the truth was that there wasn't any. His social media was also rarely updated, the last post was from months before.

"Well, good luck to you"

"What do you mean? You're the one in charge"

You just shook your head. The problem was Jeonghan honestly, you barely knew anything about him, though Seungkwan's words didn't help the case. The thing was that you barely knew anything at all about sports, in general, much less about figure skating. Lack of knowledge was an easy fix. The real issue was the fact that a documentary on a sport was way too different from what you usually did.

"I'm not doing this one. I have other projects I want to work on. Plus, this is too sudden. They want us to start tomorrow, Seungkwan. Do you really think that it's possible to have anything done by tomorrow?" he shook his head and you nodded in agreement "Precisely, so I'm sure that if we talk with Jihoon…"

"Nothing will change" 

A curse left your lips at the sudden voice behind you. Turning around you faced the small man. Jihoon had his arms crossed over his chest and the look in his eyes that told you that no matter what he wouldn't let you off the hook. Still, you had to try.

"Jihoon, I'm not your sports person. And it's too soon. I don't anything about Jeonghan or figure skating"

Jihoon simply shook his head at you.

"They want a different approach than the average sports documentary, so I recommended you. I'm sending Seungkwan with you because I know this isn't your area of expertise, though I highly suggest you do some sort of research" he turned around to leave with a wave of his hand then turned around for a second, as if remembering something "Hansol will be your camera and sound guy. They asked for a small crew"

With a salute Jihoon left.

"Fuck"

You couldn't take your eyes away from the crutches under Jeonghan's arms and the orthopedic boot around his left leg. There was not a single article that pointed to surgery. There were plenty about his constant injuries though. Seungkwan had the same look on his face, of pure shock. 

"Are you okay?" you asked once he made himself comfortable on the couch.

Jeonghan sat sideways on the couch, his leg propped up over cushions. The position looked weird but he didn't seem to mind.

"Ah, this" he pointed at his leg nonchalantly, as if it was the most normal thing "Yeah, it's okay. Had to get the surgery done in order to make it to the next Olympic"

Nodding, you looked around. His apartment wasn't as big as you had expected. In fact, the three of you stood closely together in the living room, a bit too small for all the gear Hansol said he needed.

"Put your things down, let's talk. I don't know how this is going to work"

Me neither, you wanted to say but kept your mouth shut. Thankfully, Seungkwan was there to help you.

"Before we start any real interview or conversation, I think we have to tell you that this was very last minute for us. We only heard about this documentary yesterday, in the middle of the afternoon" he used his kindest voice, his voice laced with concern and a hit of fear, maybe "yn is in charge, she's the documentarist, she'll be asking the questions and dictating the overall direction that we're going to take with the documentary. I'm Seungkwan and that's Hansol. This is the smallest crew he could assemble"

Seungkwan was giving too many explanations, you felt. But he also wasn't wrong. What he did was normal, he was just introducing the crew. Maybe you were a little irritated by the way you were tossed into this job, without someone giving you enough time to prepare. Sixteen hours were barely enough.

"I assume my… reputation has gotten to you," Jeonghan said, a small smile on his lips.

A reputation he had indeed. Jeonghan was known for not liking the press and journalists. He avoided them at all costs and once, on one occasion, was seen being rude. And honestly, you had to give him a pass for it. Pushing the camera away from his face, almost delicately, could barely be considered rude at such a moment. There were way too many cameras around, all of them on his face, trying to get some sort of pronouncement on why he had not made it to the podium. 

And that had been years before but people still remembered him by that one moment. But what exactly did they expect? He underperformed, came in fourth place, and injured himself in the process. Was anyone expecting a happy and bright Jeonghan? 

"You can be comfortable around me. A conversation like this is fine. I just don't like being swarmed" 

Though his words were inviting, his face told a whole different story. He clearly didn't want this documentary.

"All of our interactions will be recorded," you told him, not leaving room for arguments on his end "These first few minutes aren't, out of courtesy and so that we can set our goals. I need to know if you're uncomfortable with anything, or something that you don't want to be filmed, either right now or before we turn the cameras on. Once we start, we won't stop"

Jeonghan adjusted his position on the couch, his eyes never leaving you. It was like he was measuring your every move. He didn't like your tone, and how aggressive you were towards him. 

"I know this was last minute and I apologize for that. This is going to be my last run and, as much as I hate to admit, I'm a bit sensitive to it.

With furrowed eyebrows, you nodded. Jeonghan knew that you didn't believe him or that you cared about his reasons. He knew that the sole reason you were there was because someone made you. 

"Will you need to film my family?" 

"Yes, usually film family members to get a complete idea of someone's life" 

Turning around you nodded at Hansol, telling him to start setting up. With a shake of his head, Seungkwan moved to help him.

"I don't want my family to know the extent of my injuries. So if you only want them for context, to know about me as a child, that's fine. But they can't know anything about this" Jeonghan pointed at his leg "I've been hiding this for a very long time and I'd like to keep it that way"

You dropped your bag on the couch, eyes tired and mind filled with one too many thoughts. The day had been easier than you expected, far more so. 

Based on Seungkwan's words you had expected to fight with Jeonghan in a way. It was a documentary so you needed him to talk and talk he did. There was no question unanswered or dodged, all of his answers were precise and consistent. All of it had sounded fake like he had rehearsed them a million times.

Even if you thought that your question had been good, and had caught him off guard, Jeonghan seemed to be fully prepared for it. He didn't hesitate for a second. 

In the few hours you spent around him, you finally managed to understand the fascination most people had with him. He was handsome, yes, but that was just the very basic and surface level of him. Beyonce that he was also good with his words. It was hard to tell that he was lying because he talked with conviction. After just one interview you were sure that if one day Jeonghan decided to tell you that your mom wasn’t actually your mother, you’d somehow believe him.

And the man knew all of it. He was aware of his beauty and charm, of what it did to normal people, and he used it in his favor. Jeonghan knew that most people couldn’t resist a handsome talented man. And that was a part he was all too willing to fill.

“Yeah,” you answered your phone, not bothering to see who it was, certain that it was just Jihoon.

“How was it today?” he sounded just as tired as you felt and you couldn’t help but wonder if he was okay.

“Fine”

“Just fine?”

You turned on your back, facing the ceiling, or at least whatever you could see with the lights turned off - not a whole lot, to be honest.

“He lied through his teeth today. There was no manager, and no coach around, though I do remember him saying someone would come. The person never showed up” you sighed “Seungkwan hates and Vernon probably thinks I’m a crazy bitch. So yeah, just fine”

Jihoon laughed on the other side of the line and you felt the little butterflies in your stomach come to life. You rolled your eyes at yourself. How pathetic it was of you, to have a crush on your boss. How very much bland of you.

Growing up, like a lot of girls that were influenced by way too much TV, you had wanted the be the odd one out. The I’m one of the guys kind of girl, or the one who refused to wear any kind of makeup or even come close to the pink because that was just girly for you. And now there you were, in love with the color pink, finding excuses to wear pretty dresses, and having a crush on your boss.

Teenage you would throw eggs at your head if she had the chance.

“Okay, but how was Jeonghan?” Jihoon pressed even further.

You sighed and closed your eyes, covering over face with your hand.

“He was polite, answered all of my questions, had a pleasant smile the entire time, and only asked for a bathroom break while we were there. Offered us food and drinks. He was fine” you said again, emphasizing the fine.

You could picture Jihoon, nodding his head and looking at the floor, probably thinking of what to ask next.

“Why would Seungkwan hate you? And why would Vernon think you’re a bitch?”

“Seungkwan thinks I went too hard on Jeonghan and Vernon just trusts Seungkwan’s judgment and goes with it”

Jihoon laughed again and you heard him moving around.

“Classic yn, going at someone while she’s angry. At least your anger was sort of directed to the right person”

“What is that supposed to mean?” you sat up.

You liked to think that you didn’t act that way all the time. In your mind, most of the time, you were able to hide your anger and just play nice like your mother had taught you to be. Jihoon’s words told a completely different story.

“Have some rest, there’s still a lot of work to do. Tomorrow you’re going with him to rehab, right?” Jihoon paused for a second and you heard a female voice in the back, you couldn’t make out what she said but you were sure of who it belonged to “I have to go. We’ll talk next week”

The line was disconnected and leaned back on the couch again. The problem of having a crush on your boss was also the fact that he had a long-time girlfriend and soon he was supposed to be marrying her.

You groaned, wondering if you had gone far enough that there was no going back from this crush.

You sat across from Jeonghan once again, the position exactly the same as the first day. But this time you chose to be less irritable.

The other day you were frustrated because you had to give up other projects to be able to accompany Jeonghan and that, thinking rationally, had nothing to do with him. He asked for a specific documentary filmmaker profile and you were chosen by the studio. Maybe it was more your fault than his. But it was also a no-return kind of situation. The job was assigned to you and there was nothing you could do to change it. So the least you could do was do your best and pray that it didn’t take a turn for the worse.

And, if anything, the conversation with Jihoon helped you focus on work. It wouldn't be the first time you were doing something you didn't want to do and it certainly wouldn't be the last. So you decided that the best thing to do was just work, showing your professional side that had been left aside before.

Jeonghan looked at you the same way, eyes serious as if he was ready for a new attack.

"Thank you," he said to Vernon, who had just placed the microphone inside his jacket, so that he could pick up the sound well, but it was not visible to the camera.

You turned to Seungkwan and Vernon, waiting for confirmation from the two that you could begin. You received a wave from each of them after they checked that the cameras were on and recording.

You took a deep breath and turned to Jeonghan.

"I wanted to apologize for yesterday," you said "I wasn't fair to you. I was irritated by things that had nothing to do with you, but I somehow decided that they did"

Everyone in Jeonghan's living room seemed to hold their breath, you included. You didn't know what to expect from Jeonghan, not really. You had been anything but ungracious with him, in a way that to most people meant that any door between you two had closed.

Jeonghan decided, at that moment, that he had two options: a) he could let the previous day dictate how all interactions between the two of you from then on would be, and it would be many months of a bad relationship that would bring no benefit to anyone involved in it; or b) he could accept your apology, which seemed sincere enough, and let go of the discomfort he felt.

Option b was actually the only possible choice.

“Okay” he finally smiled “my reputation isn’t the best, either way”

Seungkwan and Vernon breathed a sigh of relief. It was as if a huge gray cloud had moved away and the weather was beginning to clear.

“No, your reputation had no influence. I was the one who lost my hand because of my problems and for that, I apologize” you said and you were sincere in your words “But Jeonghan, I need you to stop seeing me as your enemy. I need you to be honest with me.”

You hoped Jeonghan could understand what you were saying.

“You think I wasn’t honest?” he tilted his head as if analyzing you.

“In the same way that you don't want your reputation to affect the way I see you, I need you to not let the way you see other journalists affect the way you see me. I want to tell your story, however you want it told, but I need you to be honest with me.”

You hoped Jeonghan could understand what you were saying.

He was silent for a minute, his eyes fixed on his hands. His hair covered his face, so it was hard to get an idea of what was going through his head.

You looked at Seungkwan, seeking confirmation that you hadn’t been rude. He seemed to be as lost as you were, but the small smile he gave you was enough to make your restless heart rest for a second.

“What if I say something and regret it later?”

It was the first time Jeonghan looked insecure and it was a strange sight, but much more realistic than the other version of him.

“We can edit it, it’s not a problem. I said that because I was angry” you said apologetically once again.

“Can we throw it all away and start again?”

Jeonghan smiled and you had no choice but to smile along with him.

“Let’s start with what’s happening now,” you said, folding your legs under your body, notebook open to a blank page and a pen ready to take notes “You underwent surgery not long ago, right? Why?"

Jeonghan took a deep breath, eyes closed for a second before placing all his attention on you. His gaze was almost too intense. You had to force yourself not to look anywhere but at him.

“A few years ago I fell during training and twisted my ankle. At the time, it wasn't a big deal and if I had stayed quiet for a few weeks, and did everything right, I wouldn't have had any problems. But I couldn't do it, I was preparing for a competition. I didn't tell anyone about the problem and just endured the pain. When I participated in the competition I fell again and that only made the situation worse. Today I have a problem with my ligament and tendon.”

With every word that left his mouth, you felt like a lump was forming in your throat, and with every second it was getting bigger.

Unlike the day before, it didn't seem like Jeonghan was lying, but you didn't know if you wanted the truth he was sharing. Even if it was a lie, a character he had created, the version of Jeonghan from before was a little brighter, a little more present in the moment. The version of him that was in front of you, that you imagined to be the closest to reality, was almost sad, detached from everything.

“Because I forced my right knee a lot, trying to compensate for the lack of my left one, I developed a problem with that one too”

“You’ve never talked about your injuries before, right?” he nodded “Why talk now?”

He was silent again, his lower lip caught between his teeth. That was a great question, one that not even Jeonghan himself knew exactly how to answer.

“I'm not sure, to be honest” he laughed a little. Instead of looking directly at the camera, his eyes were focused on you “Someone came up with the idea at some point and it didn't seem like a bad one, but I think it will only work if I make it to the Olympics.”

“Is that the ultimate goal then, to get to the Olympics?”

He shook his head, that fearless, confident look you had only seen in photos finally making itself known.

“No, the ultimate goal is to win”

As promised, Jeonghan waited for you, Seungkwan, and Vernon outside the clinic. He was nowhere to be seen, really, but the car his assistant informed you of was parked right in front of the door.

You were the first one to exit your own car, while Seungkwan and Vernon prepared the camera to follow along. You could only assume he was the manager. Terribly young for a manager, sure, but a manager nonetheless.

“I assume you’re in” he extended a hand to you “I’m Joshua”

“Hi”

The exchange of words with Joshua was quick, no more than half a dozen. You didn't have much to talk about with him and he wasn't your priority, at least not at the moment. Later, at some other time, talking to him would be great. He had introduced himself as a friend/manager of Jeonghan. Having his point of view would be great and could contribute a lot, but your eyes couldn't leave Jeonghan.

His hair was tied back, but a cap covered much of his face. He had barely said hi to you or the other two. It wasn't a big surprise. While it was true that made up to a certain extent, you didn't expect him to simply welcome you with open arms, but his reaction was strange - or as strange as the reaction of a person you knew little, or nothing, could be.

“Can we film it?” You asked.

Jeonghan stopped and turned towards you. He had forgotten that you and your team would attend his first physical therapy session, but it seemed like the right thing to do.

Since the last time you saw each other, Jeonghan spent hours on end watching documentaries made by you and they all had one thing in common: they were almost like video logs. You followed everyone around documenting every tiny aspect of their lives. All those people told their stories and didn't seem afraid of having their lives exposed. And perhaps for people who didn't lead lives where they had been exposed too much, sincerity came easily.

For Jeonghan, that was never the case.

Being treated as the future, a promise of the sport, had brought a lot of harm and situations that neither he, nor anyone else, had the option to deal with or even, perhaps, ignore.

Cameras were pointed at him, rumors spread and suddenly he wasn't just Yoon Jeonghan, the boy who started skating because it would annoy his little sister. He became someone from whom people expected something.

As much as he could, Jeonghan tried to live up to all of those expectations, realistic or not. He tried to be as perfect as possible, on the ice and off of it. And it only took one day of silence, a few rude unanswered questions, and one bad performance — which had no real effect — for everything to collapse.

“You said you would film anything and everything.”

You grimaced, clearly regretful and maybe even a little embarrassed. It wasn't his intention, but he found your reaction funny anyway.

In your place, Jeonghan would have done much worse.

“Do you think it’s important?”

You nodded, perhaps more forcefully than necessary. Jeonghan laughed, he wanted to hold your head to make sure it was still in the right place.

“The documentary is about your return, so filming you here is important. I asked because it's your first session. I heard it can be painful.”

“It will probably be uncomfortable” he couldn’t deny that “Let’s do it like this, you can record it, if in the end you think it’s bad or that it doesn’t fit, we won’t use it

You quietly followed Jeonghan and Joshua out of the clinic, Seungkwan and Vernon trailing behind you talking in hushed tones. It was no surprise that they were talking. Truth was rehab had been brutal. You knew that it could get hard for Jeonghan, that it could be painful but nothing really prepared you for what you saw. And if it was hard for you to watch him go through that, it was unimaginable to understand how it was for him.

Throughout the entire session, Jeonghan looked in pain, his grunts and the scowl on his face growing with each passing second and new movement. Midway through you told Seungkwan and Vernon to stop filming. You had seen enough and you had more than what you needed for the documentary. 

You would only film his rehab again when he was no longer in such pain, you decided. Out of the many things you learned about Jeonghan was that showing his weaknesses wasn’t something he was too fond of or even comfortable with the idea of it. So there was no real reason to keep recording and you couldn’t stand it either. 

While you watched his face contort in pain, you felt something inside your chest tighten. 

It had never been a real issue before with you. You had always managed to separate your personal emotions from the things you felt while working. More often than not you told stories that were hard to listen to, took someone’s suffering, and put it on the TV for the entire world to see in hopes that maybe a part of their lives would be changed. You had always been able to detach yourself from that. 

However while inside with Jeonghan, such a thing was not possible. You felt your throat constrict and your eyes grow wet and for a short while, you couldn’t breathe either. It made no sense really. Why did it hurt to see this man, you knew nothing about, in pain to the point you wanted to cry? Why did it sadden you so much that he was limping harder than before?

You wanted to approach him, ask if he was okay, if it had been too much. But it was out of line, it was one that you knew you shouldn’t cross. There was this itch though, in the back of your mind, begging you to just ask, to just take a step closer to him. 

It happened so suddenly that you didn’t even see it happening. One second it was just the five of you in the parking lot, in the next there were reporters with mics and cameras pointed at Jeonghan. You noticed how Jeonghan raised his shoulders at the same time he lowered his head. He couldn’t see in front of himself, you were certain. 

Joshua put an arm around Jeonghan’s shoulder while he used the other one to keep them away from him. Not that it was of any use. One of the cameras was directly under his face as if trying to get an expression, anything at all, that could show his discomfort with the situation. From somewhere behind you there were flashes. 

"Do you believe your injury was a result of your own carelessness?"  someone asked. 

You felt your blood run cold for a second and you froze in place, Seungkwan and Vernon behind you. 

"Do you think your skating career is over after such devastating injuries?" someone followed. 

"Did you regret pushing yourself so hard during training, knowing it led to your injury?" 

"How did it feel to watch other skaters progress while you were stuck in rehab?" 

"Are you worried that your injury will define your career more than your achievements on the ice?" 

The questions got progressively worse and you wanted to scream at them to just shut up, and stop. How could they just ambush someone like that with those questions? It made no sense at all. And though you knew that it would cause more harm than good you wished Jeonghan would tell them all to fuck off.

Instead, he kept his head low and just slowly walked to his car while ignoring everyone around him, all the careless words being thrown at him. 

You tried to take a step forward but were held back by Seungkwan, who gripped the strap of your purse. He didn’t say a word, just shook his head. 

“They can’t just do that to him” you almost cried

“If you say anything, it might only make matters worse,” Hansol said, his voice sad. 

That sudden need to protect Jeonghan felt weird but oddly natural as well. Weird because you knew that you shouldn’t, because you hardly knew the guy. Natural because it felt as if you had always done that like it was just second nature to you. 

“He is used to this,” Seungkwan said, still not letting go of your purse. 

“He shouldn’t be! They are barely treating him like a human!”

By the time you turned around, Jeonghan was already inside the car leaving the parking lot. 

The clock on the top of your phone screen told you that it was 4:37 am. You hadn't even realized that you had spent so many hours still awake. 

As soon as you got home from the rehab with Jeonghan, you took a quick shower, ate the leftovers from the night before, and started to look up Jeonghan’s performances.

The man was a celebrity amongst athletes since he was a child. He was always seen as a promise of the sport. He was good from the start. Performing moves that he was still too young to do, entering competitions boys his age never really competed in and somehow managing to either come up to the podium or even winning some of them.

Everything was displayed online. Yearly competitions, practices, and small moments of his life.

Jeonghan's entire life, at least the sports part, was exposed on the internet for anyone, from anywhere in the world, to see. And it wasn't just the competitions, having videos of that part seemed completely normal and expected.

What was scary was all the other content. Some photos of him in school uniform, not one where he was actually looking at the camera, but ones that were clearly taken in secret. Another one from when he seemed to have simply gone out for coffee with Joshua.

You knew he had fans, that he was liked wherever he went, and that he was always followed, but that seemed a bit much.

In reality, watching videos of the competitions was like a gateway to everything that came after.

You knew very little about Jeonghan, only what you had read about in all the articles that you found and all of them had one thing in common: Jeonghan was a huge diva, who thought he was superior to everyone. But after seeing how he had been treated that day, as soon as he got out of rehab, you knew it wasn't like that. It was as if they had appeared out of nowhere, one second the parking lot was empty and the next it was full of journalists, shouting things and asking questions that to many would seem harmless, but were clearly intended to hurt.

Instead of watching more competition videos, not that there were many you hadn't watched yet, you decided to look for the famous video of him treating journalists badly.

You had never found one so easily on the internet. You just typed "Jeonghan and journalists" into the search bar and it was the first video to appear.

It was a scene very similar to the previous day. Jeonghan was in the parking lot, walking towards the guy when he was surrounded by several journalists.

"You didn't get the podium today, are you disappointed?" one of them asked and that was the most harmless question he got. “Did you really try hard or did you think you would get a high score because you were the favorite?” “Why did you fall in such a simple jump?” “Don't you think it was an amateur's performance?”

You didn't want to keep listening to all those meaningless questions, but you couldn't take your eyes off Jeonghan. He still had short hair at the time, even covering his eyebrows. His jaw was clenched, his eyes were hard, and his gaze was focused straight ahead, as he walked slowly to his car. Joshua tried as best he could to control the journalists with their microphones and cameras, but he was just one man against many. Finally, after what felt like ages, two security guards appeared, pushing the journalists away as they began shouting profanities in Jeonghan's direction.

Could those people even consider themselves journalists? Real journalists, who took their work seriously?

There is a very fine line between being a journalist who asks incisive questions and one who is completely disrespectful to the athlete. And those people were anything but professional.

It was no surprise that after that Jeonghan refused to give interviews.

That whole situation happened years before, at the beginning of the previous Olympic cycle, but even so, it was still a moment that haunted him. People remembered him as just that guy, someone who refused to answer simple questions. But what exactly did these people expect? That he was all smiles when he failed to reach the podium, even though he was the favorite in the competition? That he smiles when he hurts?

Finally, you managed to understand why he acted that way, and why his answers were so polite and direct. Jeonghan didn't want to leave room for interpretation. Not that he had much of a choice. People only see what they want to see, but that didn't mean he couldn't try.

Jeonghan couldn’t take his eyes away from your back, he followed your every move. You stood next to Joshua, talking to him quietly, his friend showing you something on his phone. He felt something scratch at his neck. This new and unknown feeling. 

It was unusual for Jeonghan, to want to have someone’s undivided attention. It was usually the other way around and he was never willing to do it, with anyone. And then there you were and suddenly he didn’t like that you were talking with Joshua. 

It wasn’t like you seemed to be having fun either. You moved around with intention, your eyes always focused, your words and questions firm and straight to the point. Jeonghan couldn’t help but wonder if it was always like that with you. If your professional persona always took over who you were in other moments. 

His curiosity was huge but his courage to ask was very little. 

“She may seem like it, but she won’t bite your head off if you talk with her,” someone said on his left.

Seungkwan stood at his side, his hands clasped in front of him while he rocked on his heels. 

“I think she will,” Jeonghan said. 

Seungkwan took his reply as an invitation to sit. 

“You know, in the office, people call her the ice queen” he too looked in your direction, at your serious expression "She’s like that most of the time”

Jeonghan looked at Seungkwan expectantly, he knew there was a but coming soon. All he needed to do was wait long enough. 

“She didn’t want to take this job, our boss forced her to. She’s more into storytelling, real people, with real issues”

“Am I not a real person?”

The offense in Jeonghan’s voice made Seungkwan almost fall off his chair. He didn’t intend for his words to sound like that.

“Of course you are” he laughed nervously while trying to explain it as best as he could “If it were up to her, she would focus this documentary on you, on how you started skating, why, what attracted you to it, how it affected the rest of your life. But your team doesn’t want that, I think. We were told that you already gave many interviews on the matter so there’s no point in talking about it again. They want us to focus on your recovery and then you make it to the Olympics. She’s trying to figure out how to do that in a way that makes someone watch it”

Jeonghan nodded, feeling guilty. It had been his request to not the documentary so focused on the past and more on what was happening in the moment

“She also doesn’t like sports and hated the idea of the job, but that's beside the point”

Both of them laughed, eyes still on your back now that you talked with Vernon, giving him new instructions.

“I’ll make sure that she gets to do the kind of documentary she thinks is best”

Seungkwan stood up, a big smile on his lips.

“Who could have known that the ice queen and the ice prince aren’t actually that cold”

After months of just rehab, it’s finally time for Jeonghan to get back on the ice and it pained you a little to admit that you were looking forward to it. The videos you watched could only take you so far, you wanted to actually see the real thing. Him, in action.

Of course, you know that he wasn’t going to be able to do a third of the things he did on those videos. But you wanted to see him in his element, how he would behave when he was finally around the thing he loved the most in the world — his words, not yours. 

The one thing you were able to learn from Jeonghan was the fact that he indeed loved what he did. Like most people, sometimes he hated it. It was the thing he was most passionate about, yes, but it was also his job, so there were days when he just hated and the mere idea of leaving the house was too much. 

It was too hard to be a professional athlete, it demanded way too much of him. Of anyone, really. Sometimes he wanted to be like everyone else and just not put everything he was into it. But if he did that, he lost one single day, he was scared that he could lose an entire year and maybe that year turned into two and then he could lose his chance to go to the Olympics. 

And he only had one change left. 

So, instead of focusing on much he didn’t want to do, Jeonghan decided to focus on the fact that there was only a year ahead of him and he would be able to do whatever he wanted and have as many down days as he wanted. 

He didn’t know what he wanted to do and what would be the after for him but it gave him something to look forward to. 

“Are you nervous?” you asked him.

Jeonghan was someone who was mostly quiet. You noticed that once he started to feel more comfortable he was one to start the conversation and even crack a few jokes here and there. Seungkwan had been the first person he kind of opened up to, which had left you a hint of jealousy. You wanted to be one he talked with mostly because it was your job but also just because. 

However, he had been especially quiet that day. The three of you went to meet him at his apartment. The idea was that you’d follow him the entire day, from the moment he woke up, to when he went to the doctor to get the final clear and then finally to the ring. 

He had talked very little, his eyes always focused somewhere else. It was clear that his mind was traveling somewhere far, far away. So you left him be, quietly watching him just move around. A silent shooting day, you told yourself  In the end, however, you had a job and he needed to do the talking.

“It’s been too long,” he said, his eyes never really leaving the ice “I don’t know if I can still do it”

You laughed, causing him to finally look at you, eyes wide on his face. He tried to look serious but the corners of his lips were turned slightly up.

“You just don’t feel confident, but you didn’t forget it” you looked at his ankle, it was still weird to see him without any sort of protection around it “How’s your ankle?”

He just shook his head and in that moment you chose to believe that he was said It doesn’t bother me anymore. 

Through the interviews, you found out that Jeonghan is the kind of person to suffer in silence. It was clear from all of his previous injuries, how he competed while in pain and only ever said anything when it was almost too late.

“Do you think I can still do it?”

There was something in his voice like he was almost on the verge of breaking. He sounded vulnerable in a way that was entirely too new, in a way you wanted to push Vernon and his camera away because that was a part of him you knew he didn’t want the world to see. 

Instead, you reached for his arm, patting it a couple of times, hoping that your touch, as ungraceful and awkward as it was, was able to soothe him, even if it was just for a moment. 

“I was watching some of your competitions last night, again, you know? And that guy? He’s still in there, I’m sure of it, I’ve seen him”

You weren’t just saying that to cheer him up, your words were true. You had seen that version of him, little glimpses here and there. He was in the way his eyes suddenly changed and it was like he owned the entire room, in the way he suddenly turned confident, in the way he was charming in a way that was almost sickening but all too enchanting either way. 

Whether or not he believed it himself, Yoon Jeonghan was a force to be reckoned with.

"What kind of kid were you?" you asked, looking up at Jeonghan. 

He sat opposite to you, bent down to tie the laces on his skates. His hair covered his face, you were sure that he couldn't see much, but he didn't seem bothered by it in the least. Maybe he had just gotten used to it. 

Four months had gone by since you started to follow Jeonghan and even before that, he had kept his hair long. And you hated to admit that he looked good, too good even.

"What kind do you think I was?" He smirked at you for a second before going back to his skates.

Rolling your eyes, you couldn't help but smile. 

"This is not how it works. I ask the questions here"

Jeonghan leaned back on his seat, giving you his full attention. His smirk did something to your insides. It felt tight and loose at the same time, like wild butterflies running around on your skin. 

"Come on, humor me"

You pretended to be in deep thought, Jeonghan as a child had been something you thought about for a long time now. Even though he was very serious most of the time there were these small moments where he looked like a kid ready to do something he wasn't supposed to.

"I can only think of you as a troublemaker” you smiled, closing your notes knowing well that you’d make no progress at all with the filming “I’ve seen pictures of you and a child and although you looked very cute, I’m sure you were a handful to your mother”

Jeonghan laughed, throwing his head back and in that moment he looked so carefree.

Even since the start of the documentary Jeonghan had used his most serious expressions, a frown always taking over his beautiful features. But he had been back on the ice for a few days already and in those days he had looked the happiest you had seen him yet.

Of course, he still hasn’t practiced the way he wanted or the way he used to. He still needed to take things slowly: fewer hours, less power in the movements. But it was undeniable that he was a completely different person.

It wasn’t that he had been in a bad mood every single day but there was just something about him in his element, of him doing something he was obviously passionate about, that was so enchanting that it became impossible to look away from him.

“Where did you see those pictures?”

“You do know that I had to google you because I had no idea who you were, right?”

One thing you managed to learn about Jeonghan is the fact that, if in the right mood, he is a trickster and most of all, a flit. You weren’t even sure that he was aware of what he was doing, it seemed like second nature to him.

He put a hand over his chest, faking being in pain. His face contorted and a pout on his lips.

“I thought we were getting to know each other”.

Seungkwan coughed by your side, finally making you remember that there were people around you and that the entire interaction between you and Jeonghan was being recorded.

There was something about Jeonghan that always seemed to make you forget where you were, that maybe there were people around you. You could only suppose that it was the charm of a man who knew exactly what he was doing, who knew how to sweet talk someone.

And Jeonghan knew what he was doing, what kind of words or looks could get a reaction from a woman.

Most of the time while around Jeonghan you had to remind your heart to be calm and quiet. Being around him was a temporary arrangement, as soon as the Olympics started said arrangement would be done and you’d have to go back to your normal life. One that didn’t include Yoon Jeonghan. And you also knew that there wasn’t space for you in his life.

“We’re going to set up the cameras around the ice,” Seungkwan said awkwardly while dragging Verno by the hand.

You watched as the two walked away from you, whispering in secrecy. You could only imagine the kind of things that they were saying. If you knew Seungkwan at all, you were certain that it couldn’t be any good.

“Jeonghan, I ask questions and you answer them. And while one could say that I’m getting to know you, I don’t think it would be possible to say the same thing about me”

Jeongahn's smile was defiant when he crossed his arms over his chest.

“You have a no-bullshit policy, which I should have known, from the start, but I wasn’t expecting someone like you. Although you try really hard to pretend that you’re not, your eyes are kind and you quietly take care of those around you, me included sometimes. You got worried when I was in pain in rehab and when Vernon got hurt it seemed as if you were angry, but you were concerned about him and after that, you asked to have another staff with you so that he wouldn’t need to carry so many things on his own. You and Seungkwan bicker a lot but when he isn’t around for a day you are quieter and your questions have been more direct. That doesn’t make you a lousy documentarist, please don’t think that I’m saying that, you take your job very seriously. I’m saying that you put people above your job. I’m guessing that’s why you wanted to become a documentarist, to begin with, to tell stories”

You stared at him, mouth open wondering just how he had come up with all of that and why he had managed to hit everything right on the stop. Especially the reason why you became a documentarist. It seemed very obvious, yes, but it wasn’t something that you had said.

In fact, your personal life was something that very few people knew. You weren’t one to share your thoughts and what was on your mind with people. Seungkwan was a good friend, but he was a work friend so your personal life was just that, personal. Not that you had someone to share it with, either way.

The apartment was empty when you left and it was in the exact same way and you got back. You were on your own, with no parents, no siblings and most of your friends had given up on you somewhere along the way.

For the longest time, you put your job first. It came before anything and anyone. You were building your career and name at the time so it was hard not to put it first. It was your dream, one that your friends supported at first but were displeased when you decided to put it first.

You had thought that if you made it big on your job if you got hired by a big production company, you’d be able to find the happiness that you had searched for a long time. And while some of it was true, your career was on the right path and you did something you loved, you didn’t have a lot more beyond that going one.

It was become just you and your job.

Was it sad? Yes, but it was also the life you chose.

“Just because I don’t know details of your life, doesn’t mean that I don’t watch you, yn”

You watched as Jeonghan fell for what felt like the hundredth time that day. It didn't make sense, not really. At least not for you. And from the looks of it, for him too.

He was frustrated and completely angry. All those people looking at him, expectations high, waiting for something. He wasn't sure what. For him to fail? To see if he still could do it?

Everything was possible and impossible at the same time.

He couldn't stop his eyes from going after you every time you fell. Somehow, your reaction was the only one that mattered to him. The first few times your face was completely emotionless, as if you were staring at a blank wall. Then Jeonghan fell once again, and again, and again. He stopped counting at 10, but he knew it was much more than that actually. But your gaze, which was fixed on him, became more worried as the minutes passed and he hated being the cause of it.

Somehow, since he met you, only two things were on Jeonghan's mind: skating and you.

He didn't know how, he didn't know why, but you had taken over his every thought. It was as if you had walked through an imaginary door and entered his mind and decided that it was a great place to be.

Even on days when you didn't see each other because there was no recording, he was tempted to talk to you. And on one of those days, he just succumbed to the temptation of picking up the phone and calling you.

“Jeonghan, is everything okay?” was the first thing you said.

He hated that worry was the first emotion he awakened in you. He hated that the first thing you said wasn't "hello" like a normal person. But at the same time, the concern made him feel somehow welcomed. It could, of course, be all in his head, and what he saw as concern for himself was actually concern for the documentary.

"I just wanted to talk," he admitted.

Maybe it was because he had gotten used to talking to you, maybe it was because you offered zero judgment for the way he thought or reacted. Or maybe it was because it was you. Whatever it was, Jeonghan felt comfortable talking to you.

Telling the truth, about everything, was not difficult, in fact, it became something very easy. It was because of you, he knew.

"I realized I don't know anything about you"

You laughed and he listened as you moved through what he imagined to be his apartment.

"That's because I interview you and not the other way around"

He sat on the bed, his legs stretched out in front of him as he supported the rest of his weight on his arms stretched behind him.

"Do you think it's so bad that I know anything about you?"

You remained silent for a few seconds, seeming to think about the idea. It wasn't bad, not at all.

At several moments you found yourself with your cell phone in your hand, ready to send a message or call him. You weren’t sure what, but there was something about Jeonghan that just made you want to tell him everything.

"What do you want to know?" you said with a sigh.

"Whatever you want to share"

The great truth is that very little happened in your life. You lived alone, worked every day, and came home alone. Your last boyfriend, or even a fling, was over a year before. Your friends, if you could call them that, were all from work. Your life was quite still and dull. Even if you wanted to talk about work. Jeonghan was your job. There wasn't much to talk about.

"I don't think I have much to tell" you knew that what you were about to say wasn't the happiest topic in the world, but it was what you had to offer "My mother passed away when I was nineteen, since then I've been alone"

You could still clearly remember the day your father left. There wasn't a fight. He never packed his bag and left. One day he was there when you woke up, he gave you breakfast and took you to school, like he did on most days. But it was his job to pick you up and he never showed up. Your mother showed up instead, her eyes swollen as she did her smile to smile at you and explain to the teacher why she was so late. When you finally got home she said "Now it's just you and me. Daddy had to leave"

For months, years even, you waited for him to come back. You thought one day he would just appear in front of you. You were disappointed when it was your mother who showed up to pick you up when he didn't come to his birthdays when you called the number he had left with his mother and he never answered.

You waited until you turned 18 to go after him. You only had a name, but with that alone, a person can find everything on the internet. You found him in another state, working at a real estate agency. You sat down in front of him and talked for about half an hour. You made up a story about going to college and needing a place to live. You said your name and your mother's name several times, surname and everything, and at no point did he seem to connect one thing to the other. Until the last second, when you said you would think about renting the studio he had suggested, and he walked you to the door. He said, "I left for a reason, don't come back here."

You couldn't believe what you had heard. You couldn't understand why he left and why he never came back. But at that moment you decided that if he didn't want you, you didn't need him. Your mother had worked so hard to make sure you had everything you needed.

Exactly one year later, your mother died in a bizarre car accident. It was like being 7 years old again and losing another person, only in a much more painful way.

"You don’t have any siblings?" Jeonghan's voice on the other end brought you back "Relatives?"

You shook her head, even though you knew he couldn't see you.

"I was an only child, so no siblings. My mom was an orphan so relatives either. My father left when I was a child"

You and Jeonghan spent the whole night on the phone, talking about everything and nothing. From trivial things to more personal matters. His delight upon learning that you didn’t have a boyfriend didn’t go unnoticed. 

Calls and messages became commonplace between the two of you. Your heart raced every time a new message arrived and it was hard to hide your disappointment when you realized it wasn't from him. On days when you didn't see each other, you would stare at your phone, waiting for it to ring, waiting for him to call.

So you hoped he understood when you shook your head in his direction, a request written on your face. That's enough for today, you can try more tomorrow, you hoped he would understand.

Instead of trying one more time after he fell once again, he skated to the edge of the ice. His face was red from the effort, and his chest rose and fell in an uneven rhythm trying to force air back into his lungs.

"I want everyone out," he said, his voice broken.

Seungkwan and Vernon didn't even question it, they simply started putting away the equipment. Jihoon, who had shown up unexpectedly to "supervise" didn't seem to understand what was going on, but turned to help Vernon.

Jeonghan's coach was the only one who approached him, his hand on the athlete's shoulder.

"Go home, rest. Tomorrow we try again"

Jeonghan shook his head. He would only get out of there after managing to make the damn jump, even if he had to stay the whole night.

"Just half an hour more, but I want to be alone"

The coach clearly didn't like the idea, but he knew it was stupid to try and make Jeonghan change his mind.

You turned to him, looking at his face, trying to figure out if he was in pain or if he was just being a big blockhead. Without giving yourself the luxury of thinking about what you were doing, you placed your hand over Jeonghan's and squeezed for a second. You hoped he understood what you meant.

"You have to rest"

You knew everyone was watching, that despite saying they were leaving they weren't actually moving. Jeonghan didn't seem to care and for a moment you decided not to care either.

“Stay,” he said softly, so only you could hear him “please.”

Some strands of hair were stuck to Jeonghan's face, you wanted to get them out of his face, but caution spoke louder. You looked over your shoulder and everyone was still looking at the two of you, but as soon as they noticed your gaze they started moving again. Seungkwan shouted “We’re leaving” and seconds later the door slammed.

Finally, you were alone.

“You have to rest,” you said again.

You took advantage of the fact that no one else was there and removed the strands of hair stuck to his forehead, tucking it behind his ear. Jeonghan sighed, his eyes closing as he leaned towards you. Just that little touch wasn't enough.

“I need to get it right”

"If you stop now and rest you will know what you are doing wrong"

A half smile shined on Jeonghan's face as he leaned further into the barrier, his face just inches away from his.

"My ego loves it when you say I'm doing something wrong”

You pushed him back, needing a little bit more space to yourself. He was too close, you could feel his breath on your nose and cheeks. It was suddenly as if the world was made of Yoon Jeonghan, it was just him and no one else. 

“I’m sure your ego will be just fine”

Instead of pulling your hand back, you allowed it to stay in his chest. Jeonghan smiled for a second before pressing his hand over yours. 

“Just another 30 minutes” he repeated what he said to his coach “I promise I’ll stop in precisely 30 minutes”

You nodded with a sigh. There was nothing you could do to stop him. Something told you that even if you threatened him to leave he would stay and practice, he would stay on the ice for far more than just 30 minutes if you weren’t around. 

So you sat down and waited for him. And he fell time and time again, his face growing displeased with himself at each passing second, each time he jumped but didn't manage to land. 

Jeonghan had done that same jump countless times before with ease as if one's body would simply perform such movements. To him, it always seemed as easy as walking. You had seen it in all of his videos, almost in trance by him. 

“If you’re not done in twenty-one minutes” you pretended to look at your imaginary watch “I’m taking you out of there by force”

Jeonghan threw his head back, laughing. 

“Remember when you said that you never skated before?” Jeonghan asked after finally being able to breathe properly again.

You weren’t too sure how, but he had stopped after 30 minutes. A big smile on his face after he managed to land the jump after so many tries. After getting it right once, he didn’t get it wrong again. It was like something clicked inside his brain as if he had found the last missing piece of the puzzle.

Of all the things you said to Jeonghan, from the most personal to the most trivial, that was, by far, the only one you regretted. You had told him over the phone but he looked horrified, it was easy to imagine the wide eyes on his face.

But him standing there, in front of you, with a smile that could only be seen on the face of a mischievous child, said much more than any words he could utter.

“No,” you said, shaking your head, already moving back.

You had learned several peculiarities about Jeonghan in all the months you spent by his side, and one of the most glaring was the look in his eyes when he was about to do something he shouldn't.

“You have to try, at least once” his lips were a mixture of a smile and a pout “You will have the best teacher in the world”

You saw it and shook your head again.

“I can’t trust a teacher who spent the day falling” you pointed to the rink behind him.

As soon as the words left your mouth, you regretted them. You didn't know if your words would offend him, you hoped he knew it wasn't your intention. But you also knew that hell was paved with good intentions. Jeonghan was silent for a minute, his face serious, his eyes not leaving yours for an entire minute.

Then he smiled, his nose wrinkling a little as he laughed, loudly. It didn't take long for you to join him.

“You’re evil,” he said, trying to control himself, but failing “This way you’re going to break my heart”

“I think there are few things in this world that can break your heart.”

You would definitely be one of them, Jeonghan wanted to say, but he held his tongue in his mouth. He knew he couldn't say that, he knew that any word said wrongly could simply ruin everything he had built so far. If he could even say he built something. He liked to think so.

From the first time you spoke, Jeonghan knew there was no going back, at least for him. He had never done anything like that. He had never called someone in the middle of the night simply because he wanted to hear someone's voice. And in this case, it wasn't just someone's voice, it was your voice that he wanted to hear.

With each passing sentence, Jeonghan found himself falling more in love with you and he wasn't able to say why. Maybe he could blame it on your eyes, always so focused, but somehow when they turned to him, they seemed so sweet and sincere. Or your voice, which gave orders and asked incisive questions, but as soon as the cameras were turned off it became gentle and almost shy. Maybe it was the fact that you seemed like a lioness when you were working, never giving space for unfounded questions, but you were shy when it was just the two of you alone.

He liked this version of you, who was right in front of him, who seemed completely comfortable with him, to the point of making jokes — something that until that moment you hadn't done yet.

“We always have extra pairs in the back, I'm sure one of them is your size” he had made sure you would, with Seungkwan's help of course “And then we try it, what do you think?”

Even though you were shaking your head, you went to the closet where you knew the skates were stored.

With your knees bent and shaking, you stepped onto the ice and immediately regretted giving in to Jeonghan's will. You didn't know how he had managed it, but in the closet, there was a brand new pair of skates, your size. Jeonghan had smiled as he bent down to tie your shoelaces,

“I’m going to fall flat on my face,” you said as you grabbed the bars.

Jeonghan held your face in his hands, your eyes fixed on his.

“I won’t let you fall”

The way the words left his lips made your heart skip a beat, or maybe several of them. You could feel it on the back of your throat and you could swear that your hands shook a little as you accepted the hand Jeonghan had extended to you. 

You wished it could just stop. Not for your heart to stop beating altogether but for it to stop reacting to Jeonghan. Everything changed after that first call and you weren’t too sure of where it was. He had, someway, somehow, become a pivotal point of you. His voice, his eyes. The way tingles started to run down through your body the moment his skin came in touch with yours. How, despite all odds, he made you feel safe in a way you weren’t too sure you had ever experienced before.

When he said that he wasn’t going to you fall, you believed him so you held his hands — strong enough that you were sure were hurting him but he didn't seem to mind — and allowed Jeonghan to pull you into the rink. 

“Don't move your feet” he said, voice ever so sweet but with a slight hint of teasing “I know it's probably hard, but let me take control here”

Forcing out all of the remaining air inside your lungs, you did as he asked. Instead of keeping your focus on the ice under your feet, you kept them in Jeonghan's face. A mistake, of course. 

His eyes were too intense if you could say that. You didn't want to understand what was happening. Perhaps for the first time since you met Jeonghan, you didn't want to understand what it could mean. You were scared. What, exactly, you weren’t sure.

“I didn’t even have to ask you to look at me,” he said and you laughed a little, automatically looking away “Keep looking at me”

The whole experience of skating for the first time, or being guided, was not being registered by your brain. All you could see, think, feel, was Jeonghan, as if he had become a central point of everything.

“I think we should stop here”

You hoped your voice was loud enough and judging by the look on Jeonghan's face, it was. The smile fell from his lips and it was as if a small light in his eyes had gone out.

You hated that you were the one causing that reaction in him, but you knew it was best to stop everything before it went too far.

"I thought that…"

“We can’t blur the lines that much” you shook your head.

You didn't know exactly who you were trying to convince, him or you. You also weren't sure you had to convince yourself of anything. It was as if your brain had split in two. One part, probably the loudest, wanted you to just let things happen. You knew you weren't doing anything wrong, you weren't doing anything much really. What you did outside of your working hours and who you did it with was your problem and no one else's.

But the other part, one that spoke softly and that should have had much less strength, said it was dangerous, but also didn't offer much reason to be dangerous.

Yet somehow, that was the side you chose to listen to.

"Why?" He asked forcing his feet to the ground, making the two of you stand in the center of the rink. “What line are we blurring?”

You shook your head, hands clinging to his waist as you felt your feet begin to slide.

“I don’t know” you whispered in response “We are working”

Jeonghan leaned forward and pressed his lips to your cheek. With a sigh, he let his forehead fall onto your shoulder and closed his eyes.

You didn't know exactly where your skepticism came from, but you were also sure it wasn't completely unfounded. But truth be told, you wanted to blur that line and any others that might appear along the way.

“Go on a date with me,” he said “If you still feel that way, there’s nothing we can do. Just don’t… don’t stop something that hasn’t even started yet”

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[ourflagmeansgayrights]

so part of me wants to blame this entirely on wbd, right? bloys said he was cool with the show getting shopped around, so assuming he was telling the truth (not that im abt to start blindly trusting anything a CEO says lol), that means it’s not an hbo problem. and we already know wbd has an awful track record with refusing to sell their properties—altho unlike coyote v acme, s3 of ofmd isn’t a completed work and therefore there isn’t the same tax writeoff incentive to bury the thing. i just can’t see any reason to hold on to ofmd except for worrying about image, bc it would be embarrassing if they let this show go with such a devoted fanbase and recognizable celebrities and it went somewhere else and did really well (which it would undoubtedly do really well, we’ve long since proven that). it feels kinda tinfoil hat of me to making assumptions abt what’s going on in wbd behind the scenes, but i also feel like there are hints that i’m onto something w my suspicions: suddenly cracking down on fan merch on etsy doesn’t seem like something a studio looking to sell their property would bother with, and we know someone was paying to track the viewing stats on ofmd’s bbc airing, which isn’t finished yet, so i’d expect whoever is monitoring that to not make a decision abt buying ofmd until the s2 finale dropped.

but also i think part of me just wants there to be a clear villain in the situation. it’s kinda comforting to have a face to blame, a clear target to shake my fist at. but the truth is that the entire streaming industry is in the shitter. streaming is not pulling in the kind of profit that investors were promised, and we’re seeing the bubble that was propped up w investor money finally start to pop. studios aren’t leaving much room in their budgets for acquiring new properties, and they’re whittling down what they already have. especially w the strikes last year, they’re all penny pinching like hell. and that’s much a much harder thing to rage against than just one studio or one CEO being shitty. that’s disheartening in a way that’s much bigger and more frightening than if there was just one guy to blame.

my guess is that the truth of the situation is probably somewhere in the middle. wbd is following the same shitty pattern they’ve been following since the merger, and it’s just a hard time for anyone trying to get their story picked up by any studio. ofmd is just one of many shows that are unlucky enough to exist at this very unstable time for the tv/streaming industry.

when i think abt it that way, tho, i’m struck by how lucky we are that ofmd even got to exist at all. if the wbd merger had happened a year earlier, or if djenks and tw tried to pitch this show a year later, there’s no way this show would’ve been made. s1 was given the runtime and the creative freedom needed to tell the story the way the showrunners wanted to, and the final product benefited from it so much that it became a huge hit from sheer gay word of mouth. and for all the imperfections with s2—the shorter episode order, the hard 30 minute per episode limit, the last-minute script changes, the finale a butchered mess of the intended creative vision—the team behind ofmd managed to tell a beautiful story despite the uphill battle they undoubtedly were up against. they ended the season with the main characters in a happy place. ed and stede are together, and our last shot of ed isn’t of him sobbing uncontrollably (like i rlly can’t stress enough how much i would have never been able to acknowledge the existence of this show again if s1 was all we got)

like. y’all. we were this close to a world where ofmd never got to exist. for me, at least, the pain of an undue cancellation is worth getting to have this story at all. so rather than taking my comfort in the form of righteous anger at david zaslav or at wbd or at the entire streaming industry as a whole, i’m trying to focus on how lucky i am to get to have the show in the first place.

bc really, even as i’m reeling in grief to know this is the end of the road for ofmd, a part of me still can’t quite wrap my head around that this show is real. a queer romcom about middle-aged men, a rejection of washboard abs and facetuned beauty standards, a masterful deconstruction and criticism of toxic masculinity, well-written female characters who get to shine despite being in a show that is primarily about manhood and masculinity, diverse characters whose stories never center around oppression and bigotry, a casually nonbinary character, violent revenge fantasies against oppressors that are cathartic but at the same time are not what brings the characters healing and joy, a queer found family, a strong theme of anti colonialism throughout the entire show. a diverse writers room that got to use their perspectives and experiences to inform the story. the fact that above all else, this show is about the love story between ed and stede, which means the character arcs, the thoughts, the feelings, the motivations, the backstories, and everything else that make up the characters of ed and stede are given the most focus and the most care.

bc there rlly aren’t a lot of shows where a character like stede—a flamboyant and overtly gay middle-aged man who abandoned his family to live his life authentically—gets to be the main character of a romcom, gets to be the hero who the show is rooting for.

and god, there definitely aren’t a lot of shows where a character like ed—a queer indigenous man who is famous, successful, hyper-competent, who feels trapped by rigid standards of toxic hypermasculinity, who yearns for softness and gentleness and genuine interpersonal connection and vulnerability, whose mental health struggles and suicidal intentions are given such a huge degree of attention and delicate care in their depiction, who messes up and hurts people when he’s in pain but who the show is still endlessly sympathetic towards—gets to exist at all, much less as the romantic lead and the second protagonist of the show.

so fuck the studios, fuck capitalism, fuck everything that brought the show to an end before the story was told all the way through. because the forces that are keeping s3 from being made are the same forces that would’ve seen the entire show canceled before it even began. s3 is canceled, and s2 suffered from studio meddling, but we still won. we got to have this show. we got to have these characters. there’s been so much working against this show from the very beginning but here we are, two years later, lives changed bc despite all odds, ofmd exists. they can’t take that away from us. they can’t make us stop talking abt or stop caring abt this show. i’m gonna be a fan of this show til the day i die, and the studios hate that. they hate that we care about things that don’t fit into their business strategy, they hate that not everyone will blindly consume endless IP reboots and spin-offs and cheap reality tv.

anyway i dont rlly have a neat way to end this post. sorta just rambling abt my feelings. idk, i know this sucks but im not rlly feeling like wallowing in it. i think my gratitude for the show is outweighing my grief and anger, at least for right now. most important thing tho is im not going anywhere. and my love for this show is certainly not fucking going anywhere.

#ofmd #our flag means death #save ofmd #s3 renewal hell #txt #mine #og #studio crit #edward teach #stede bonnet #gentlebeard

[vlansy]

Run Away Baby Before I Put My Spell On You

Pairings: WandaNat! x Fem!Reader

Summary: Natasha and Wanda is set on a mission to find out who the "new" super hero in town is.

Warning(s): Violence, Voyeurism, murder, use of gun, swearing- (MINORS DNI 18+ )

CHAPTER 1 CHAPTER 2

Reader's POV

Growing up I have always wondered what I was made for, my mother said she prayed to have me and the deities gave me to her. She said I was special and she was the most blessed woman to have me. I was blessed by every God, giving me gifts and power.

But I still wonder what my purpose is.

I mean don't get me wrong having been given powers to move things with my mind, and control anyone if I wished to is an honor I will forever be thankful for, but sometimes I feel like I’m cursed to have them. I still have morals though, I ask for permission first before I enter someone's mind but even without asking I could still do it. Levitating and creating illusions is also one of the many powers given to me by the Gods. The Goddess of beauty and love herself even bestowed me with the power to charm and captivate anyone I wish to kneel for me.

When I was given to my mother they all expected me to be the one to stop the war and create peace among everyone.

I was sent to the mortal realm at a young age by my mother, she wanted me to live there with her immortal friend whom she said she’d known for a long time. I don't know what her reason is and why she wanted me to leave her but I know better than to question the queen.

I visit sometimes though, I mean what's a castle without its princess?

And what's a mother without her daughter….

My thoughts were interrupted by a sudden knock on the door.

“Y/n, are you awake?” A soft masculine voice said.

I was lying on my bed my feet dangling on the edge. I raise my hand opening the door without getting up.

I hear my Uncle Malcolm's footsteps coming closer my eyes remain closed.

“Is it just me or does the “woman in white” look familiar?” He said emphasizing the “woman in white”.

I opened my eyes and turned my head to him. I looked at him and raised my brow. “I see you’ve seen the news.”

“Y/n, I know you have a mind of your own and you’re a bright girl, but honey please be careful out there.” He said as he sat on the edge of my bed.

I’ve lived with my “uncle” Malcolm here on earth since my mother decided it would be a good idea for me to leave. He’d known my mother when he was in high school and my mother was a curious princess who wanted to see the whole universe.

His only family is me now and his fiancé Luthor.

They’re both very much in love and I would love nothing more than to officially welcome Luthor to our family. They both treat me as if I were their real daughter and I love them both like their my real Dad’s

It’s ironic really, before I got sent to earth I’ve only ever had women around me, since where I came from women are the ones to rule and provide for their offspring. No men exist where I came from they’re practically extinct.

I look at my uncle. “I promise I won’t get hurt, Dad,” I assure him. “And would you really think I’d let anyone catch me?”

“I know you wouldn’t let that happen but I know you too well to know that if the Avengers were the ones after you, you would let them.” He said knowingly.

“I- okay I probably will, but come on Dad if the Avengers were to want me I’d be honored to be caught by them.” I laughed at him.

It's an understatement to say that I'm a huge fan of the heroes that protect the world. But I would never admit that to anyone but my Dad’s.

They know how much I admire them, especially the two wonderful redheads I have a tiny bit of a crush on.

So when I thought of the idea that the Avengers might be on to me I had mixed feelings about it. I don't know whether to be excited that they know of me but also a bit scared because they know of me.

“And besides, whatever happens, happens. I'm a powerful being but I can't control what will happen, Dad.” I finally sat down on my bed.

He just sighed at me, knowing how stubborn I am he probably thought not to argue with me further.

“Where's Papa, by the way?” I changed the topic.

“He's still in his office, you know your Papa he's very hard working.” He said proudly. I just nodded.

My Papa is a well-known lawyer and my Dad is a popular Fashion designer. When I was younger I started to model the clothes he designed which gained me popularity all throughout high school and college.

I graduated college at 18 due to my high credentials and skipping a few grades. I honestly don't know what to do since I don't go to school anymore, I'm 19 now and turning 20 in a few months but all I want to do is keep my position in the modeling industry.

People say I'm too smart to just throw it all away but I don't really care what they think, plus My dad’s supports me with everything I do and whatever I choose to be.

I live by myself most of the time, I bought myself a house, but I miss my Dad’s too much so come over at weekends.

“I'll leave you to rest now sweetheart, goodnight,” he said as he kissed my head.

“Goodnight, Dad.” I smiled at him as I watched him walk out the door.

A few minutes passed and I was tucking myself to bed when my phone rang.

“Yes, Shaye?” I said when I answered the call.

“Y/n! Girl let's go out tonight!” She screamed right in my ear making me move the phone away.

I look at the time, “Babe it's literally midnight?”

“Yeah so? Come on honey the other girls are coming too,” she reasoned.

I thought for a second, what could go wrong? Right?

“Fine, give me like 30 minutes.” I finally agreed.

“Yay! Okay hurry up and I'll call you when I'm there, Byee!” She said cheerfully.

“Bye.” I said and quickly went to my walk-in closet and chose an outfit.

Once I found a white crisscross halter top and some denim jeans I went to my mirror and got changed. Then I went out of my closet and to my vanity. I started putting on a little bit of makeup and took the claw clip that was on my hair to let down my soft curly hair.

I got my purse and made sure my important belongings were in there and went to my Dad’s room.

I knocked on their door and waited for it to open.

“Yes, sweetheart?” my Dad said as he opened the door.

“I'm going out with Shaye and my friends.”

“Okay, be careful alright,” He reminded me.

“Yes, Dad bye,” I said and smiled back at him.

I was going down the stairs when Shaye called. “We’re here.” she is said.

“Yeah, I'll be right down,” I said and ended the call.

When I got out the door I was greeted by my friends squealing. I opened the shotgun seat and Shaye started driving.

“Oh my God Y/n we’re gonna have so much fun tonight!” My friend Leven said in excitement.

The car ride was pretty much us singing to loud music and taking photos.

When we arrived at the bar the guard didn't even need to check our IDs or make us stay in line because we go to parties here almost every weekend.

Some of our close friends were already waiting for us in the VIP section of the bar with drinks ready.

“Y/n babe, You made it!” A familiar feminine voice catches my attention.

“I probably wouldn’t have come if I knew you were here.” I joked at her.

Vienna was my ex when we were in college but we were more best friends than girlfriends so we ended up on good terms. But even when we broke up we would still playfully flirt with each other, but we both have zero romantic feelings for one another.

“Oh don’t act like you don't miss me, honey,” she winked at me.

I playfully rolled my eyes at her.

We partied all night and drank so much alcohol that my friends could barely walk anymore.

“Oh my God, do you guys remember when we all got in trouble because we couldn't stop laughing at Mr. Wilkins when we caught him picking his nose.” Leven reminded us.

“HAHAHA, or when he tried to flirt with Shaye in front of the class but Shaye said she also likes girls?.” I said and they all laughed, especially Shaye who almost choked on her drink.

As we caught up with each other's lives and reminisced about the times we had together I excused myself to go to the bathroom.

As I walked to the exit of the bar I could already feel the danger come my way.

I excused myself to my friends earlier because I saw a woman being followed and harassed by two men. I watched her for a while and when she was going to the exit I knew I had to follow.

As I looked around the exit I saw the two men following the girl out so I quickly but carefully followed them.

One of them ran up behind her and covered her mouth so she couldn't scream the other guy went to a nearby van and opened its back seat.

I walked towards them and spoke. “Watcha doing there big boys?”

They turned towards me. “You wanna join in doll?” The guy holding the girl said and smirked. I smirked back at him and walked closer to them, my heels clicking as I walked. The other man from the van now went closer to us.

“You know, two big guys like you shouldn't be out here at night,” I said as I got close to them the girl still trying to get out of the other man's grip.

He looked at his buddy and they both grinned. “Yeah, and why is that?” He asked a menacing smile plastered across his face.

“Because you might come across women like me,” I said as my eyes glowed golden.

Their smile slowly went away while mine grew wider.

I raise my hand in front of them making them both paralyzed.

I use my other hand to move the girl with my powers, freeing her from the guy's grasp. The girl stumbled in front of me so I held her close.

“Are you okay?” I asked with a look of concern.

“Y-yes, thank you,” she said as tears ran down her eyes.

“Go, and please don't tell anyone I was here,” I pleaded. “I'll take care of these boys for you,” I said as I turned back to the men giving them a sharp glare.

I heard the girl run but my attention was caught by the two men in front of me grunting and trying to move.

“It really isn't fun being helpless huh?” I asked with a fake pout.

“Oh! How about we play a game? Would you like that?” I asked then laughed. “Oh I forgot you can't speak, let me fix that for you,” I said and waved my hand in the air giving them the ability to talk.

“You little bitch!” one of them screamed at me.

I gasp. “You guys aren't very nice.”

“Let us go you fucker!” the other guy commanded.

“How about this, I'll give you five seconds to run and then I'll run after you, and if I catch you… I'll kill you.” I said as my smile dropped.

“1…2…3 GO!” I scream as I free them. They ran as fast as they could not wasting and second.

I just waited there and looked at my watch and when it was time to run after them I used my powers to make me fly making my current clothes disappear and turn to my white armor and covering myself with a white cloak.

As I was in the air I could already see the both of them run to a nearby alley. I fly with speed and when my feet touch the ground I start to play with them.

I surrounded them with clones of myself circling them so they had nowhere to go. “You have nowhere to run boys.”

One of them took a gun out of his pocket and the other one a knife. They started attacking the clones of me but every attack just went through my clones while they laughed at the men's pathetic tries.

When I finally got tired of watching them struggle I made one of them float in the air making him drop his weapon the other guy tried to attack me but I paralyzed him into place.

I entered the mind of the guy I held in the air and bent him to my will.

“θα τον σκοτώσεις και τον εαυτό σου (kill him and yourself)” I whispered in his mind and as I did his eyes glowed golden and his face expressionless.

I both let them go and watched as the man I whispered to attacked the other guy.

“Stop! What are you doing man!” the man grunted as they fought each other.

I was gonna watch them kill each other when I felt something in my chest and I felt my power in my veins. My veins are visibly glowing golden.

“What's happening to me?” I question myself as I look at my arms.

I quickly flew out of the alley not caring if anyone sees me.

But as I was in the air something shot the side of my stomach from a distance making me lose control and fall onto a rooftop of a building.

My stomach was bleeding and I tried to cover it up with my hand. When I gained composure and tried to stand up I saw a red entity fly towards me and as I turned my head the other way I saw a black-suited figure jump from building to building going after me.

“Shit!” I cussed out figuring out who they are.

It's the Scarlet Witch and the Black Widow.

I try to fly out of there but suddenly scarlet threads wrap themselves around me making it hard to move.

I breathed in and out catching my breath as I was about to use all my strength to break free from the witch’s spell.

At this point, my whole body was glowing and I could feel the witch’s spell slowly breaking and when I broke free a powerful force blew them both away making the widow hit her head on the cement and the witch fell on the ground.

“Wanda!” I heard the widow scream.

I wanted to help them and apologize but it was too much of a risk so I gathered all the strength left in me and flew as fast as I could out of there.

(Please tell me how I did in this chapter and if there are any errors.) Thank you all so much for the support!!😘

#natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader x wanda maximoff #natasha x reader #wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff fanfiction #wanda maximoff x you #wanda x nat x reader #wandanat #marvel #natasha marvel #the avengers

[livelaughlovesubs]

Study about leviathan

Thanks to the people who replied to my post!

Trigger warning: the things I’m going to mention include child trauma, sexual abuse and other. The language I’m going to use is direct. I do not share that experience, which is why I tried my best to do valid research. I’m not trying to offend anyone, and I’m really sorry if I get things wrong.

My opinion, it could be totally wrong so take it with a grain of salt~

So, right of the bat, I think we can all agree that Levi probably got sexually assaulted as a child.

‘Rough, oppressive hands. Filthy sounds of breathing. Humiliating violence that ensued’ this is probably the biggest hint I’ve found to my previous statement.

Now, I think most of his actions can be understood from his past and if we make some claims. On the surface, he seems like a cold, strict and violent person. Also very mean and rough, and an asshole if you want. Many people weren’t a fan of his ero scene (I think). That scene also made things more complicated, cuz he said that he wanted the mc to hate him. He dislikes people who hate him or love him for no reason. Levi was a dominant bottom, has agoraphobia (fear of leaving their save place), is obsessively into breath play and prideful, jealous but also insecure.

It’s a lot to unpack and he really is complicated, but I’ll try to explain what I found/ what I think would make sense for his character.

Levi got experimented on and assaulted as a kid, got beaten up and tortured while in the company of other children with the same fate. This is important to understand him. The story (chapter 5, towards the end) mentioned that the beating included strangulation, force injection/ in take of chemicals, getting punched etc. and there’s been that speculation (which is true), that trauma can turn into kinks. The reason why trauma can turn into kinks… cuz the brain is weird. Your brain can’t forget that traumatic experience and keeps replaying that scene (cause of ptsd), and your body remembers that feeling you’ve felt. Even if your body feels ‘pleasure’ it doesn’t mean you actually enjoy it, but then your brain does some weird shit and you get a specific kink towards that situation.

I think the reason why Levi is into chocking could be due to that, due to being strangulated by those angels, having his air snapped off from experiments, chocking on his vomit from the aftermath. His ero scene, including how he insulted minhyeok and made mc mad was all planned. Mc also noticed how even though he was the bottom, he was always in control. He also was a huge masochist and wanted mc to whip him or hurt him. You could just brush it off as his kink, though maybe it has some connections like before.

I read that victims of sexual trauma tend to seek out people that are similar to their abuser, actively or subconsciously. Or they are into bdsm cuz they want to role play that experience, this time with a consenting partner. They would never want to relive that experience, but they want to role play it because now they do have control over the situation. It’s as if they are reclaiming the control that they didn’t have. This is comparable with what Levi is doing, wanting his partner to hurt him and treat him horribly like what the angels did. He wanted mc to hate him to recreate the scene with the angels more similarity, while still being in control of everything. He had completely control the entire time, could stop whenever he wanted or overpower you. Also, for him who knows how to lie and betray, who isn’t so naive to trust everyone, it’s easier if they hate you. Then their actions will be easier to understand.

About why he isn’t fond of people who hate or love him for no reason, maybe comes from the angels who hated him for existing and the other ill fated children who lost their lives for him for the same reason. He definitely feels guilty for the children who chose to sacrifice themselves for no reason. He probably thinks it would make him feel less guilty if the people had a good reason for their deeds. If they had a good reason for torturing him, for loving him, he would feel less bad and guilty.

Fear of leaving places he considered safe, that probably came from the trauma as well. He knows he won’t end up in that cage again, but it’s a trauma, his brain won’t forget. Another reason why he might not want to leave his safe place could be because he considers himself different from the other devils. He knows how to lie, be suspicious and fear their own kind. If the other devils think they are agents of heaven, he won’t have a place to call home anymore. Levi had to be strong and build his own nation to protect himself as well as other orphans, he won’t want it to crumble now. He had to live a good life for his comrades. That could also explain why he is so stoic or serious. He doesn’t have the luxury of fooling around, he had to make sure no one would ever get suspicious over them and chase them away. No matter how much you reassure him, he won’t be able to change. Even so there are times where he feels safe enough to smile and be chill. But that’s only when he is in hades, his palace and with his closest allies. This fear of his must also be the reason he is a shut in.

Some people said that having agoraphobia feels like no one understands you. It feels like everyone judges you or is about to hurt you. It fits Levi, who is so wary of other devils.

Many of his personality traits indicate that he is a narcissist. Prideful, insecure and jealous. There are different types of narcissists, he is the kind that is secretly insecure and puts on strong airs. He probably compares himself to others due to that and has a frail ego. That must also be where his jealousy comes from or the fact he can’t take critique well. Being a narcissist doesn’t only mean you feel like you are the worst when you are alone, it’s also actively talking yourself into believing you are better than everyone else. This could be another reason why he’s a shut in, because it’s so much easier, then you don’t need to compare yourself to others.

I also feel like he needs to be the best because the kids told him to live a cool life in their stead. He also had a day where he gets especially horny, right? It had something to do with his trauma and angels, more conformation that his trauma turned into kink. Being hypersexuell is also one of the symptoms.

With such circumstances, it’s no wonder he grew up cold and distant. Anyway, I wrote this on a whim, I don’t know if my thought process even makes any sense, maybe I forgot some aspects too. Just ask for my opinion of anything if you want.

#whb #what in hell is bad #whb levi #what in hell is bad levi #leviathan whb #leviathan what in hell is bad #sub leviathan #whb leviathan #prettybusy what in “hell” is bad? #what in “hell” is bad?

[lemon-boy-stan]

sex with nct 127

TAEYONG - 

Taeyong is very flexible, and not just because he's a dancer, but because he has a lot of duality. He can both sub and dom, and he candefinetley give you multiple orgasms. Taeyong hates sharing you. He doesn't like other guys touching you and he doesn't like other guys watching you. His favourite place to fuck you is in the privacy of his bedroom when no-one's around (not even a hotel room, because that's too risky). TY loves his pet names, and has different pet names for different moods. He's not that much of a fan of being called "daddy", but if you call him Yong or Yongie, he'll pretty much give you whatever you want. When he subs, call him "baby boy" for extra points because it makes him super whiny. He can get pouty and jealous sometimes, where you have to show him how much you love him, and other times he can get huffy and angry, where he has to fuck his feelings into you. Big switch vibes.

TAEIL -

Taeil likes making sure you feel good. He loves being as close to you as possible, and always makes sure that you’re the one who cums first. He hates sharing you, and it would never happen, because he believes that sex should only be between two people that love each other; it’s not a jealousy thing, it’s just one of his morals. He can be rough sometimes, but his movements are always filled with love, it’s kind of hard to explain. Aftercare is one of the most important things for him in the world. He has to make sure you’re okay; and he’s very safe, too. There’s definitely no accidents with Taeil. 

JOHNNY -

Johnny knows he’s powerful and knows he's good-looking. He’s a dom, and can often switch between hard and soft, but finds it amusing if you ever try to take control. Of course, he’d let you if you asked him (he probably wouldn’t like it), but if you tried it halfway between sex he’d just laugh so loudly it wouldn’t be funny. He loves how small you are beneath him, how helplessly out of control under his grasp. He’s always such a cocky fuck. You think he hasn’t caught you staring at his chest all the time? You thought wrong. He’ll definitely bring it up next time you’re in bed together. Think he doesn’t see you staring at him during his dance practice? He’ll announce it and take you right then and there. He may be open to sharing you, but only with someone he really trusts (and only if, after, he gets to remind you who you belong to). If he hears you moaning in your sleep, he’d be the type to wake you up with his tongue in your cunt. He also has a huge breeding kink. Johnny's a very fatherly like person, and all he's ever wanted is kids. Even if you're on birth control, he loves seeing his cum dripping out of you.

YUTA -

Yuta’s the kind of guy who you know is a freak the moment you look at him; with his chiseled jawlines, long hair and pulverizing dark eagle eyes. Loves being in control, but can also be a bit of a bratty sub, too. Adores knife play. Actually hates seeing you hurt in non-sexual scenarios, but is a fucking sadist in bed. Is obsessed with the way the tears stream down for cheeks and how you beg and beg for him. Loves when you dress all innocent for him, in pastel lingerie and whatnot. Yuta loves marking you as well. He doesn’t use metal knives because he’s scared he might actually injure you, but he does enjoy leaving lots and lots of red bruises on your skin. He’s the type to finger you under the table in front of all your friends, but do not even think of touching him under the table. If you even so much as go near there, his hand will fly down and his nails will leave a mark on your skin, lip curling as he turns to you, “what are you doing, sweetheart?” eyes blazing with fire. 

MARK - 

I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again. Mark Lee is the sweetest boyfriend to ever exist. Honestly, though, I think a good sexual experience with Mark would probably happen while you're both drunk, while he has no idea what's happening and is fumbling to undo your clothes. He's the kind of incredible one-night-stand whose name you can't remember at all, but when you see him again it all starts coming back to you. He's very intimate with his s/o. He loves leaving sloppy kisses (whether drunk or sober), though he doesn't know his own strength. Yeah, while Johnny's the kind to break the bed during sex, Mark's the kind to break the bed by jumping on it, but he'd definetly blow out your back by accident. Even though he hates leaving marks like hickeys, for some reason in the morning he always gets confused when he sees bruises on your body. He doesn't really mind who's on top, so long as the night ends with both of you satisfied.

JAEHYUN -

I've said it once and I'll say it again. Jaehyun is sexy everywhere, and mean everywhere. He lives somewhere between the fine line of cruel and sweet, but it's the idea of getting caught that gets him going. If it's in the supply closet of an Inkigayo room fifteen minutes before the show starts, he's already shimmying off his pants. If it's in one of the member's rooms after they've majorly pissed him off, say no more. Jaehyun is often a very private person, but once he's riled up and horny, he doesn't care. Jaehyun sees sex as a way to relieve your stress and to destress, so you can bet for sure some of the best sex with him is when he's mad; especially with that monster cock of his. Often he tries his best to be gentle, but he forgets how strong he is.

DONGHYUCK -

Haechan looks like he's innocent, but he's got a lot of tricks up his sleeve, some of which he learnt from his hyungs (like edging), and others that he learnt on his own, or is just a natural at them. Donghyuck is a big believer in teasing and, ever since he learnt about it, edging. He doesn't really care who's in control, he's a great dom and an amazing, whiny sub. He's so energetic all the time, so of course he'll have a lot of stamina. He loves giving and recieving both praise and degration. He's not as freaky as Yuta, but he does enjoy using a few toys.

DOYOUNG -

Doyoung is a shitty little tease. He adores foreplay, and pretty much anything that will make you drip for him. He may seem awkward and even possessive, but Doyoung actually really enjoys sharing you; whether physically or with another member watching. He's a big exhibitionist, so he loves showing his members how many times he can make you cum. Speaking of, if he even sees a vibrator in your room, he's probably the type of guy to have a contest with it, seeing how many more times he can make you orgasm than the "fake plastic dildo" can (I have no idea what a fake dildo is, ask Doyoung).

JUNGWOO -

Jungwoo sometimes looks innocent or even unexperienced or maybe not even into sex at all, but in reality, he's almost as freaky as Yuta. He loves making you cum, loves hearing you scream his name and absolutely adores taking you from the back. Honestly, he'd probably put a vibrator in you the whole day just to see if you'd break. He's not the jealous type, but when he does get jealous, he gets toxic, and he certainly doesn't like sharing you, but he's quite proud when he's telling stories of the two of you to his hyungs; enjoys when he knows they can hear you, and probably is another one who'd break the bed by accident (though he'll definetley be cocky about it and make it look like he did it on purpose).

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#nct 127 #nct smut #nct x reader #taeyong x reader #taeyong x you #taeyong x y/n #taeyong smut #taeil x readert #taeil x you #taeil x y/n #taeil smut #johnny x reader #johnny x you #johnny smut #yuta x you #yuta x y/n #yuta x reader #yuta smut #doyoung x reader #doyoung x you #doyoung x y/n #doyoung smut #mark x reader #mark x you #mark x y/n #mark smut #jaehyun x reader #jaehyun x you #jaehyun x y/n #jaehyun smut

[monstersinthecosmos]

I know you probably don’t want to dwell on the show and the negative but I absolutely hate what has happened on here and how hateful people are in the VC fandom it’s just very demoralizing and makes me want to retreat from anything besides the books completely. The discourse was spicy before the show but everything is just even more divisive now and it has sucked the fun out of it. Not really an ask more of a vent sorry

Hi there!

You’re correct that I don’t particularly find it fun to dwell on the negative stuff – as you said yourself, SOMETIMES THE DISCOURSE SUCKS THE FUN OUT OF IT. But I do understand how you feel and I want to say a couple things and I hope this helps you find a groove.

First of all, I did my best not to acknowledge it too much because I didn’t want to validate the folks who were being cunts to me lol, but please know that this fandom (at least on Tumblr) has ALWAYS been kinda fucking violent towards me LOL. I started VC tumbling back in 2016 and it’s ALWAYS been a fucking trash fire. It is hard out there for Marius stans lmfao.

Like, when I was first posting on Tumblr and acclimating to the Tumblr culture it was so much of like, me feeling brave enough to share meta only for someone to be RB’ing me to tell me I’m wrong, or me talking about how much I liked something about Marius only for someone to vague me, or it was me hosting the huge fandom Discord back in 2017 only for people to then come on tumblr and complain about how the Discord was way too Marius Friendly as if like, a drama-free space where we can discuss the books makes it a harbor for predators.

Of course I also had the gaggle of fucking morons who were constantly stalking me, catfishing their way into my servers to try to take screenshots and write call outs and cancel me, who would not stop preaching about how “all these big blogs” are “actually such terrible people” because “look at the things they ship” even when I’d never been unkind to them, even occasionally donated to their GFMs. These are folks who think they’re morally in the right for protecting the virtue of Armand’s poor teenage asshole and executed this justice by stalking and harassing an ACTUAL PERSON LOL. Like, listen. I’m sorry to burst ur bubble, but Armand doesn’t exist. He’s letters on a paper. I’m actually a real person and you’re up my fucking ass because I don’t’ even fucking know why, you’re jealous of my fucking Tumblr engagement or something? Which one of us is actually the creep here lol?? Is this a race to the bottom to be the valedictorian of clown school on the website for homeschooled clowns?

I’ve also had the pleasure of being on the receiving end of acephobic discourse, being told I don’t do enough to protect every individual in fandom from their own bullies as if it's my job to do that, being called ableist for how I wrote Daniel in my fics even though I was projecting and discussing my own personal experiences – I’ve also had a project collaborator have a tantrum and try to steal my work until I had to threaten with legal action, I’ve been put on block lists, I’ve had many people consume my fics in secret without actually leaving comments because I’m too toxic for them to communicate with in public.

BLAH BLAH BLAH.

This was all before AMC showed up LMFAO. It was not easy for me! It’s still not always easy!

And so yeah like, by nature of the fandom EXPLODING we are going to see more drama. More people is more drama. The nature of the discourse often hedges into real life issues that people are very opinionated and passionate about and there are conflicting needs inside the same space about how to hold conversations. Even just the other day I RB’d a joke about Anne Rice and OP got upset with me because they didn’t want actual fans interacting with it. Whoops! I didn’t know! I just thought it was funny. ;.;  

Even in good faith and with the best of intentions we’re going to step on each other’s toes, and we’re gonna find people we don’t vibe with. And that’s normal and it’s fine.

What ISN’T normal is this inability to disengage that I think we see often in online space, and I don’t want to get into a whole side essay about all the reasons why I think that happens. But sometimes you gotta be the bigger person and take it on the chin.

Like, yeah, it sucks. It sucks the fun out of the room when you share a space with such bitter people who can’t be kind to each other. But like. THAT’S A THEM PROBLEM, YOU KNOW? And I think we gotta remember that sometimes people like that do it for the attention or the spike of dopamine when they can pick a fight and honestly like, you don’t need to waste YOUR OWN time on it, but you’re also doing that person a kindness if you don’t enable the bad behavior.

And it sucks that Tumblr’s mute tools are awful!!!!! It would make navigating so much easier to be able to curate the dash a little better and keep the bad actors out of your space. I sometimes just fuck off and don’t even come online for days if I know I’m not in a good headspace and won’t have the strength to just fucking ignore it, because sometimes drama catches my eye and I get nosy and go down the rabbit hole, too – having ADHD makes it really hard to avoid sometimes LOL – but like I try to be reasonable and love myself enough to avoid it when I can help it. I’m not willing to make my own problems everyone else’s problem, and I hope that some of these shit starters in fandom will get there, themselves.

So yeah it blows when the vibes are fucking atrocious, and it REALLY blows when it’s a fandom this small where you can’t avoid it. Even when it’s a vocal minority it really just kills the fucking mood.

BUT WHAT I WILL SAY.

Whenever I say shit like “write what you want to read” and we’re talking about fanfic, or even meta or even silly headcanon posts or jokes, that also means draw what you want to see, it also means make what you want to hold, apply it to any creation you can think of. Put the thing you want to see into the world. And it counts for fandom, too.

I don’t want to be part of a fandom that’s constantly infighting and attacking people, so I don’t fight and attack people. I don’t want to be called a predator for being a Marius fan and so I don’t engage in posts that say as much, not even to argue, because I don’t want my followers (who might also be Marius fans!) to have to see that on their dash. I want us to protect our peace and create a space we want to be in.

Like I have a policy that any time someone says I’m a freak or any time I see truly godawful word salad discourse, I go out of my way to post something kinky and offputting about Marius LMFAOOOO  because I want to be surrounded by reasonable fun people who share my sensibility for fiction. AND SOMETIMES IT’S CRICKETS, AND SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO WORK HARD TO FIND YOUR PEOPLE. But at the end of the day I know I’m being my most sincere self and I’m trying to have a good time and just post fun things that I enjoy. And like, the book fandom is small as fuck and we’re all famished, but I think if more of us did that, we’d build a much more productive and tolerant space.

And for all the shit I’ve mentioned, all the drama and attacks and all the times people have harassed me or tried to make me feel small, you know what? I just got back from @apoptoses & @cup-of-lixx 's wedding and they met in VCblr! We spent all week with our VCblr friends! We all went to New Orleans together last Halloween !

When I used to work on ships it was like a fandom friend world tour! I had so many coffees in port with my vampire friends!

I’ve learned so much about writing from all the time I’ve spent here and the community of writer friends who supported me! There’s folks I met on VCblr that I talk to LITERALLY every day! They are such huge parts of my life and genuine life-long friends!!!!!!

Sometimes it seems like the ROI is garbage but like, so much of finding the joy is also learning to protect yourself from the negativity.

It IS out there. It DOES suck. And it’s lonely when you haven’t found your people yet. But fandom doesn’t have to be the 500 angry assholes arguing with each other about a fucking TV show, it can be your 3 besties in a private group chat having a great time.

Like I just drove @hekateinhell to the airport (met THROUGH TUMBLR!) and on the way back I was listening to an episode of Last Day and they were discussing the concept that “community is a life raft” and it hit me so hard man!!!!!!!!!!!

Find your people! Block the shit starters! Mute discourse buzzwords that you know are going to upset you!

Keep! Posting! What! You! Want! To! See!!

Fandom is self-generating, we can do this!

My inbox is always open and BELIEVE ME I have been motherfucking persona non grata in this place before and I know how rancid the vibe can be so please come talk any time it's grinding you down, I got you!!!!!!!!!!!!

#fandom lolitics #also some more thoughts in the tags lol but #this also means LEAVE COMMENTS #not just on fics but like on art on HC posts on whatever #talk to people! #support each other!!!

[ace-oreos]

Dar Reads Lady Knight: Ch. 3

Finally back at it! This chapter covers a lot of ground considering it's fairly short, so I will probably have more to say than I did for the first two. As usual, commentary/favorite quotes are below the cut.

Love the Alanna and Neal moment on page 49... the whole "good question, next question" conversation. It would be super cool if we got a little short story of Neal's time as Alanna's squire. I can only imagine what that was like given their personalities.

"He said last night you're a bear for vegetables - Sir Nealan, that is" (pg. 50). Tobe's only been with Kel for a short time and Neal is already teaching him well, haha.

Cleon makes his entrance. I have to be honest, I'm happy with the decision Kel makes re: Cleon. She doesn't feel the same way she once did, and she knows it wouldn't be fair to either of them to try to continue the romance, Cleon's impending marriage aside. I was never a huge fan of Kel/Cleon, but I was glad Kel got to enjoy a healthy relationship while it lasted, considering how some of Alanna's relationships went.

"She didn't want Cleon as a lover now, of that she was sure. There was work to be done. She wanted no lovers until she had settled the Nothing Man's account" (pg 51). Not gonna lie, I really, really like these lines. There is work to be done, and devotion to duty has been the foundation of Kel's philosophy since day one.

I should note that I don't dislike Cleon as a character. He's doing the honorable thing by marrying someone in order to provide for the people he's responsible for as lord of Kennan.

I love the scene when Tobe asks Kel why she's crying, and her explanation: "It's not the war, Tobe. I've been shot at. I can bear it. I'm crying because my friend is unhappy and everything is changing." First of all, relatable. Second, I love the respect that already exists between Tobe and Kel - his first reaction isn't to make fun of her, but to sympathize.

Kel asking Duke Baird how he can still go and do his duty even after seeing the brutality of war firsthand makes me feel things. And his response that all he can do is his best. Ugh. Feels.

Baird asking Kel to keep an eye on Neal if they are assigned to the same post alsdkfj. Kel and Neal friendship 2kforever.

Owen's back! Gotta love Owen. The way he tries to be as formal as Wyldon trained him to be while still being irrepressibly Owen is so funny. What a gremlin.

Poor Kel, being worried that Wyldon doesn't trust her ability as a knight after all. If I were in her position, I'd probably feel the same about the possibility of getting a "safe" assignment. Especially since she knows that people will say she's not cut out to be a knight if she's not out on the front lines.

Kel and Wyldon's dynamic. Amazing. Wyldon has come so far since First Test, and Kel is willing to see that. I think anyone else would hold a grudge against Wyldon for the way he treated Kel if they were in her shoes, but she's willing to see past that.

Kel's going to do her duty if it kills her. This girl. I wish I could properly express what she means to me.

Mistress Fanche makes her entrance when Wyldon is showing Kel the refugees. Considering what she's been through, I don't think it would be fair to dislike her for her attitude.

"[Wyldon]'s happy, she realized, stunned. Training us - that was his duty. But he didn't like it. He's comfortable here, in the dirt and the cold, with people to defend" (pg. 70). I wonder if Kel realizes how similar she and Wyldon are when it comes to duty. She'll do whatever he orders, even if she privately disagrees or dislikes it, but at the end of the day she's happiest when there's hard work to be done.

The Kel and Owen moment at the end of the chapter. Kel's right - Owen is growing up well. They are 100% ride or die, and I am here for it. When Owen says he would do anything to help her, he means it. Kel hasn't had a lot of experience with that so far, what with several of her peers trying to sabotage her during her days as a page, so I imagine Owen's genuine loyalty must mean the world to her.

#keladry of mindelan #lady knight #protector of the small #tamora pierce #tortall #dar reads lady knight #once again: keladry of mindelan my beloved #hoping to get to chapter four soon!

[twisted-lover-boys]

hello! Loved your Headcanon for my request! ❤ And thank you for providing me a new artist to follow their worked didn't even knew that it existed but overall I hope you have a wonderful day and great Life that's all!

ah also If you're still taking requests May I asked if you can do a brother rook reader fic?(if you're comfortable you can do headcanon or whatever you think suitable) where the reader just mischievous and tricked the 1st year since they didn't know rook has brother better yet attending the school, thinking his the real rook because of his unique power being available to copy anyone by appearances or their voice you can decide what happened in the end

I think I’ve said this before but I’m not a huge fan of the “reader is [blank] sibling” type of writing but, since I like Rook’s character, I’ll do it

Also, you didn’t really ask for anything specific so I’m just gonna make this a special event

{not proof-read}

✨✨✨✨

==================================

I feel like being on of Rook’s siblings is pretty chaotic since he’s the youngest of 7?? I think??? I don’t remember, it was mentioned in book 7. So now adding you, making you know the youngest of 8 feels even more chaotic

It’s canon that his older siblings like to travel a lot and aren’t normally home all the time so you were mostly raised by your parents + Rook. And don’t worry, they took extremely good care of you

You ended up being more mischievous than your other siblings and often got into trouble with your little pranks. You never went too far as you didn’t want to hurt any of your siblings

They eventually learned how to avoid your pranks but Rook was the quickest. Guess that’s why you both make such a dangerous pair

Let’s say that you’re a first year in Pomefiore, so about 2 years younger than Rook so it was almost too easy to prank others with your unique magic

Speaking on that, having the ability to copy anyone’s voice or appearance is pretty cool but, since we don’t want any over powered magic, let’s say there’s a time limit and you can only copy one person at a time and you can only copy the last person you touched

But, let’s be honest here, being able to copy your bother seems badass because of how notorious Rook is for “hunting” other students. You walking down a hall could easily push students out of your way

Anyway, planking your freshmen friends as different people is definitely funny. They don’t know who you’ll copy next and usually end up second guessing which has gotten them I’m trouble before

To be fair, you’ve probably been reprimanded by the other dorm leaders + your own and Rook as to why doing such things is dangerous. Eventually, you did stop and just ended up cloning your friends and copying their movements and voices. It was much funnier

That’s the pranking aspect of it. When it comes to battles/practical usage, it’s super helpful. You could easily blend into a crowd and escape detection or even divert attention. It’s super good for spy work, imo

Your freshmen friends did end up getting used to your jokes and would even try and prank you back, especially Ace. It was honestly just a bunch of fun

Or even doing funny impressions of them or others can get them riled up, especially if you do it in a satirical way. Just don’t tell Vil you copied him and made him say that he likes Neige…

==================================

#twisted wonderland #twst #twisted wonderland imagines #twisted wonderland x male reader #twst x male reader #I know its super short #but I genuinely had fun writing this #like #the unique magic idea is actually really cool #I kinda wanna use it #but I don’t wanna without your consent #I mean #you made the idea #you get rights to it #but I had fun with this nonetheless #jin asks #jin talks #also sorry for the wall #I haven’t done special in a while lol

[rachelfoleyisntdead]

Thoughts on MK1

I'm going to try to go in chronological order, and I might miss something and make another post about it later but let's gooooo (obviously spoilers below).

I think the first half of the story is really good. Yes, it relies very heavily on tropes, but they serve the story well and work.

I love that Outworld is a matriarchal society and that Sindel is the ruling Empress, not the Emperor's consort. Not a huge fan that everything is also based on nepotism/everyone inheriting their position from their family. Apparently meritocracy does not exist in Outworld and I get the vibe that this is in fact by Liu Kang's design.

I don't like what a hypocrite Liu Kang is. He says everyone is 'free to choose peace' but literally all of the characters have had their lives manipulated in an attempt to force this 'peace'. But we're supposed to condemn anyone who doesn't like that. Yeah, honestly--Shang Tsung and Bi-Han are valid, I'll say it.

Which brings us to Bi-Han. Oh, Bi-Han. I really want to give him a cough drop, his throat must be so sore from gargling gravel all day (I say this lovingly). I actually don't hate Bi-Han's heel turn, I just think it needed more build up. It could've worked really well if we had spent more time with Bi-Han first. I'm probably going to make a longer post about this.

I do like the new Syzoth a lot… but he's a bit much. He's really on the edge of being a Wattpad OC with how tragic and pretty he is, his whole 'saddest boy in the world' thing. Immediately offering to just die made me cringe. But, you know, hopefully he'll have fun in Earthrealm with Ashrah and Kung Lao and chill out a bit.

Baraka's whole story slaps. It's easily the best part. It is tragic, but not overdone, it's over all really great. No complaints about that at all, I just wish there was more. But maybe we'll get a Baraka expansion where they do more about the Tarkat.

Ashrah is… not as good as she could be. I love her design, love her fighting style, love her story in general and LOVE that she's here. But uh… are we not gonna talk about how she thinks killing other demons to purify herself is fine? This feels like a bug when it should be a feature. I really want them to explore this, there's so much potential here. This will also be a longer post at some point.

Shang Tsung is that bitch. Love him. 11/10 SLAY FACTOR off the charts. NRS gave the people what they want. So glad he's our villain and not Kronika. God, that smirk. What a guy.

Megan's delivery is bad, but I don't think it's entirely her fault. People should've told her. And they shouldn't have given her a character that was so serious. She works very well with a sort of dry humor, they should've played to her strengths instead of… just letting that situation happen. Cut her some slack.

Why are Liu Kang/Kitana and Hanzo/Harumi being pushed as the 'tragic lovers separated in every timeline' when that's Bi-Han and Sareena??? Like. yeah. I'm biased. But Harumi was not even a character, and Liu Kang and Kitana were not tragically separated, they were together all the time??? They ruled the Netherrealm together??? I don't get it.

I really like how story mode acts as an origin story for some of the characters and you 'unlock' their powers. I also LOVE how they used it to tease new cosmetics.

Love it when they said the thing. "mortal kombat", "deadly alliance", "armageddon" yes yes yes.

Also loved when Johnny made call backs to the OG timelines, ie "the flesh pits". Johnny really is perfect for that.

Johnny and Kung Lao are perfect.

Kuai Liang and Tomas are such daddy's boys and I hate it for them. This will probably be expanded on in the Bi-Han post but shut. the fuck. up. about. your. dad. I hope Kuai Liang never becomes grand master. I'm so sorry Kuai Liang fans, but this version of him is NOT it.

Smoke using his power to levitate up the wall was unintentionally hilarious. Especially since he didn't use it to break his fall. Bro???

Everyone in the game kinda easy to lie to/convince, but this might be a feature. Liu Kang sorta 'raised' everyone to be guileless and kneecapped the development of anyone who might be manipulative. I'll let it pass but honestly, I don't think Liu Kang needed to provide 'proof' of anything.

The entire royal family needs to apologize to Li Mei right fucking now, I am so serious. They continually did her dirty when she was nothing but loyal, and questioned her even when she was saying shit Kitana already knew (that the thing with Earthrealm was a misunderstanding). Apology, or Li Mei enters her villain era. Fuck y'all.

Basically, Li Mei, Shang Tsung, Bi-Han and Baraka get to do whatever they want as far as I'm concerned. Everyone else, I'm keeping an eye on. Oh wait, no. Kung Lao can have rights too, bc he's hilarious. Yall stop sleeping on him.

Anyway, that's my takes, I'm sure I'll have more thoughts. Overall, story mode was actually great, and I think there's a lot they can build on for DLC or even course correct, so I'm excited to see where that goes. If yall want to know my thoughts on a specific plot point or character, feel free to hit up my asks, love to make long posts about this stuff.

#mk1 #mk1 spoilers #bi han #li mei #shang tsung #kung lao #baraka #yeah i'm only tagging the ones that I said have rights

[bigtittiecomitte]

[Small Rant!]

(Hope this is alright!! Sorry for my ask being so long and all over the place, but I just had so much to say!)

I honestly might leave the fandom, I'm REALLY tempted to at this point. Because, I don't know how much more of this toxicity, the behavior of Envy and V stans (NOT ALL, BTW) and the Nuzi hatedom, I can take..especially knowing that Envy and V stans are doing the same thing they did back when episode 6 released, attacking and harassing Liam Vickers + sending death threats...it's absolutely disgusting and unacceptable and shouldn't be normalized, AT ALL. These individuals who are doing this aren't real fans of the show and don't care about it, they don't give a shit about the love, dedication and care that goes into Murder Drones or all the hard work that goes into the show. They only care about wether their ship becomes canon or not and if they don't get what they want, they start harassing and shitting on the crew behind the show, especially the creator (Liam) and say they don't wanna watch the show anymore and it just proves they were probably NEVER fans in the first place and only cared about shipping and that's just so damn sad, it's especially pathetic and childish how some of these fans act..

I've said it before and I'll say it once more, SHIPPING ISN'T EVERYTHING, STOP MAKING IT A BIG DEAL. There's so much more to love and appreciate about the Murder Drones and there's so much to love about the show and shipping shouldn't be something you should even go into and look forward to when getting into any piece of media, MD isn't even a romance show. I'm overall just so damn tired and sick of this fandom, like REALLY TIRED..it's just so damn draining and exhausting especially when the same arguments are used again and again. The fandom just sucks and I fear it'll only get worse and I really don't know if I can stay for much longer. (I'm seriously missing the pilot-era days when the fandom was small and not that bad) but even though the community isn't the best, I'm glad we have some respectful and caring individuals in the fanbase like you and others, I honestly don't think the fandom isn't as bad here as it is on both TikTok and Twitter, the MD fandom side of things on Tumblr is more tame compared to the other social medias I mentioned.

Overall, MD is such a comfort show for me and has had such a huge impact on me, it's seriously one of my favorite shows, I'm not even joking. I'm incredibly thankful and happy for it's existence and also thankful to Liam, GLITCH, the animators, the VA's and just the entire team as a whole for making such a great and wonderful show! It means so much to me and I'll never stop loving it despite it's ups and downs + the community not being the best at times, I'm truly thankful for this show and those I've met in the fandom. ❤️💞

Hey you Dorky goober

No need to apologise for the long rant. Generally I adore long rants so win win for both of us (if anyone does need to rant about something then I’ll totally be here for you, I know what it feels like to not rant about something but you really do)

With you thinking about leaving the fandom due to the toxicity honestly I would not blame you at all. I’m someone who’s comfort ship is Nuzi so just seeing any hate would make me think about it for the rest of the day

Usually what I do when I see any toxicity is just laugh at it, laugh at how stupid their take is. Recently I had a fight with this Lesslie person and all I did was laugh at how silly it was like bro was getting aggressive bc people preferred Nuzi

I’m trying not to dogpile on toxic V fans + Envy shippers cause I don’t want to seem too obsessive over drama but for some reason it always gets worse

There are toxic Nuzi shippers but there aren’t as many as toxic Envy shippers like never in my life have I seen an Envy shipper getting doxxed because they like Envy. For some reason it’s always the toxic Envy shippers that make this fandom miserable

I don’t think they even know that they’re toxic shippers and desperately need to leave the fandom, most of them are kids but that never excuses any actions that they do because it’s the internet, once you post something it’s there forever

Murder Drones has so much in store than just romance and I’m saying this as someone who mostly posts Nuzi related things although I really do want to post more about the lore and I even planned for a full post on the details (I was pretty busy so I didn’t complete that but it’s in the drafts lol)

Not only the lore but just Murder Drones in general, the romance is great but so is the show, just everything about this show is filled with so much love and you can tell just by all the silly things they put in the backgrounds and the writing by Liam

Like the N x Uzi scenes are just small scenes like they’re put in different places but it works because the show isn’t focused on romance. I do think people forget that the N x Uzi scenes are quite literally important for the plot as well, it’s not just there for fanservice. Liam knows what he’s doing and anyone that tells him otherwise can go fuck off honestly

There are bad people but there are also a lot of good people in this fandom, a lot that do appreciate Murder Drones for even continuing. Screw whatever those 13 year olds on Twitter say, they don’t know crap about respect

#murder drones #n x uzi #nuzi

[brighter-by-the-daly]

Rachel Daly x Reader

Part Three - Pop’s Approval

Posted: 13/03/23 Edited: 19/07/23

Throwing the bags in the boot and hopping onto the passenger seat next to your chauffeur, Rachel smiled as she pulled away from the stadium with her hand on your thigh giving you butterflies. Linking your fingers in hers you bought her hand up to your mouth to kiss it “I think this is the happiest I’ve ever felt yknow” you bravely admitted to your crush, “me too..” she said thoughtfully, eyes never faltering from the road. “You literally won the Euros last year!” you exclaimed, “never underestimate the power of an orgasm (y/n/n)” she laughed. You turned the radio on and S Club 7 started to play which made you look at her, judging her for the choice in pre game music. “What?! You love it!” her voice higher than usual. “Yeah I can’t deny I was a huge S Club fan when I was younger” you admitted, looking at the back of the CD case that was bringing back memories. “How old are you?” she asked worryingly, realising she has no idea who she just slept with. “30, don’t panic hun” you laughed. “Oh thank god” she sighed, relieved that she can continue whatever this is with you. Secretly you’d already fallen hard for her and knew whatever happens next could break your heart into a million pieces but you didn’t want to miss your chance with her by sharing your true feelings. You’d known about her a lot longer than she’s known you existed. You’ve read her Wikipedia and scrolled her Instagram for hours and hours - you can’t tell her that though as she might get the ick. You told yourself to enjoy your time together for what it was and not to get ahead of yourself. You’ve just had the girl of your dreams wrapped around you in the Wembley showers and now she’s taking you to dinner! It’s hard to believe this has happened and you’re still expecting to wake up at any moment.

“What you thinking about?” Rachel quizzed as you stumbled to not tell her the truth. “How out of 90,000 people you gave your shirt to me?” your quick thinking saved you. “You threw the ball to me in the first half remember, I couldn’t stop thinking about you for the rest of the game, you made me want to do better and work harder, I scored because I was trying to impress you” she said quietly and a little embarrassed at how keen she was coming across. “You score in nearly every game you play Rachel” you said raising an eyebrow, not fully believing her. “This was different, I knew in my heart I had to talk to you at the end and giving you my shirt was Millie’s idea, I was praying you wouldn’t have left before I got to you” giggling at her admission and asking what she would of done if you had; she said she probably would have gone full on stalker mode and scoured Instagram until she found you. Which made you realise this was never a one time hook up for her, she hoped you’d still be there after the game, she worked harder to impress you, you don’t do those things for a one night stand… do you? Maybe she feels the same way you do.. That this thing we have, for some reason or another feels bigger than us, even though you only met a few hours ago.

Realising it was quiet you asked her what she was thinking about. Rachel paused in thought for a second before responding shyly “I feel like that was more than just sex, it felt like what making love would feel like”. Your heart skipped a beat as you smiled at her “I feel the same way… that definitely was more than just sex, it was passion and desire and otherworldly!” you exclaimed “that’s the word, otherworldly! Just out of this world mind blowing passion. I’ve never felt that way before, I could never figure out what was wrong with me, I could never seem to finish with anyone so I just became dominant and lied that I prefer giving than taking so I’d make them finish and then they’re too exhausted to even try with me.” Rachel shocked herself with how open and honest she was being with you, “that’s actually really quite sad Rachy” you pawed, feeling sorry for the blonde that nobody had been able to figure her out sexually. “Aww, when people call me Rachy it just makes me want to melt!” she swooned. “But that’s why it felt like more than just sex, you turned my dominance around and enabled me to feel submissive but safe at the same time, like I wanted to give my whole body to you. I’ve never felt so safe with someone when being intimate before and I can’t stop thinking about it” she reminisced with her breath getting flustered again. “I could tell in your eyes that it wasn’t just lust, the look in your eyes made me fall for you in that moment. Especially how you acted after, that was just pure kindness and I need some of that in my life, someone to look after me. You just made me feel so safe” she repeated.

“Well that was honestly the most intimate experience I’ve ever had. Your face makes me feel so happy inside, I just want to stare into your eyes all night” you admitted as she pulled up outside the restaurant. “Stay with me tonight?” she asked turning her body to face you. “Bet nobody says no to that!” you remarked cheekily as you caught her staring at you jokingly fed up of that famous line of yours. “I couldn’t think of anywhere else I’d rather be. It’s got to be an early one cause you have training tomorrow, what time is it?” “Why do I keep forgetting about training? It’s 10am” as she typed a reminder into her phone. “Because your whole brain has me on your mind right now, there’s no room for anything else” you winked at her. “Okay this meal will have to be quick then so I can get ready for tomorrow and get enough sleep” she said opening her door “I don’t have to stay if you think I’ll be a distraction” you offered hoping she wouldn’t take you up on it. “Err, I don’t think so love! I’m not ready to let you go yet, come on” she confirmed hopping out of the car. You quickly text your friends saying you won’t be coming home tonight with a winky face.

Rachel opened your door for you to jump out and as you walked towards the restaurant, she took your hand in hers which made you feel those butterflies again. Once inside a waiter came straight over asking if Rachel wanted her usual table, she must be a regular. The waiter lead you upstairs, then up more stairs to a platform which was like a treehouse with just one table lit by candlelight with a giant window that lead out on to a balcony. It was stunning but you couldn’t help but think that this was set up for whoever she brings in. Nevertheless, Rachel pulled your chair out for you and asked for the wine list. “I have to make a confession, I don’t drink wine, whiskey or nothing” Rachel raised her eyebrows seemingly impressed with your answer and asked for a JD and a Diet Coke for her. It was honestly such a turn on how she guessed your fave whiskey and didn’t order alcohol herself - driving and training tomorrow wouldn’t have been a good look.

Rachel held out her hands across the table for you to place yours in; this was the most romantic setting you’ve ever seen and just made your feelings stronger for her. She told you how she always came here with her family but when she started getting recognised people would interrupt their dinner to ask for photos. She felt bad saying no but she also didn’t like her family time being interrupted seeing as she didn’t get to see them very often, especially being away in Houston for so long. So she worked with the owner to build this little treehouse style area out of the way; they could continue coming and nobody would know they were there. This washed away your fears of thinking the table was ready for any girl she bought home each night. “Me and Millie come here often when I miss my dad, we sit looking at the stars and talk to him, he loved her, she’s the best friend I’ve ever had”. You smiled thinking of all the YouTube and TikTok videos you’ve watched of them together. “You two are bestie goals, everyone wishes they had a friendship like you two” squeezing her hands between yours, “she’s been with me through everything, she makes me feel strong and brave, I love her so much” the grin on her face only getting bigger when talking about her best friend, “that’s clear to see by everyone, the whole world knows you as Millie and Rachel, you’re never just Millie or just Rachel… like Dick and Dom or Ant and Dec” “Yeah she can be Dick!” she snorted making you both laugh.

When your drinks came Rachel asked if you wanted to go out on the balcony with her; she instinctively wrapped her coat around your shoulders and took your drinks outside. Being so far off the ground you felt like your could grab a pocketful of stars. In awe at the sight until Rachel took you on under her arm. “Which one’s dad?” you asked quietly, not knowing if she’d want to share something so personal but she took no time before answering, “all of them, he’s all around me, he is every star in the sky. I thought he’d want to meet you” she smiled as that caught you off guard, looking at her with admiration and touching your hand to your heart. “What’s his name?” “Martyn, pops, papa bear” leaning her head on your shoulder, it only felt right to introduce yourself seeing as she’d purposely bought you here. “Hi Martyn!” raising your glass to the sky, “I’m (y/n). I met your daughter today” placing your arm around her back “I just want to say how utterly besotted I am with her already. She won against USA today, scored as well! I think this makes England world champions now?” you chuckled while your eyes flickered onto your lady for the night. “Thanks for raising such an amazing, kind and beautiful woman, I’ll do my best to make her happy as long as she’ll let me” lowering your arm and taking a sip of your whiskey which seemed extra strong and made you screw your face up. Rachel laughed and wrapped her arms tightly around your waist “utterly besotted?” she asked looking up at you, tucking her hair behind her ear and cupping her face as you reiterated - “utterly. besotted. yes” gazing into her beautiful blue eyes and placing a kiss on her forehead. “Is that alright?” Rachel rested her head on your chest and nodded, squeezing you tighter before reaching up to kiss you. The kiss was gentle and loving and made you feel warm and fuzzy. “I can’t stop smiling” you admitted “me neither” she replied between kisses. You now had confirmation, even if neither of you have said it, you knew this was the start of something special.

Your meals arrived, you left a nice tip then headed out. Rachel drove back to her house with her hand quite high up on your thigh which turned you on as she knew you weren’t wearing any underwear. You looked at your phone to see a whole bunch of messages from your friends asking what’s been happening, it was too much to explain by text so you made them wait for updates. Pulling into the driveway, Rachel got the bags out and opened your door again before ushering you into the house. It was warm and cozy but you couldn’t help thinking how lonely it would be to live somewhere by yourself. At this point it was 8pm, Rachel put the kettle on and you reminded her to pack her bags for tomorrow which she did while you made the teas. She then gave you a tour of the house and settled on the sofa with your drinks happily in the silence, soaking up the eventful day. 6 hours ago you were merely watching your favourite team play at Wembley and 6 hours later you’ve made love to your favourite player, met her dad and now sitting in her lounge preparing to go to bed with her. What a crazy wild ride today has been, but you couldn’t be happier.

“I hope you have PJs for me to wear!” She smiled, leading you upstairs to her closet to give you options, you said you’d rather just a big T-shirt and some dry pants. She dug out her ‘Nike Home’ T-shirt from the Euro win for you to put on and found some comfy underwear for you then snuggled up in bed together with the rest of your tea. “Let me take a photo of us, the first night together” could she be anymore cute?! You have to admit the photo was super adorable, “you’ll have to send that to me so my friends believe me” you joked. She shared it, you sent it to your friends and she sent it to Millie - we both know you can’t keep your besties out of the loop. They all replied immediately - yours were freaking out, this was a big deal after all, Millie was more subtle with “you two suit each other soooo much, cuties 💙” then a follow up of “don’t be late tomorrow! 10am remember!” You set alarms for 8am and snuggled down to sleep. You found it hard to drift off at first as you didn’t want to snore or get in an ugly position that made her want to run a mile, that was until you felt her lips touch your forehead and instantly felt safe and sleepy.

Part Four - Part of the Team

#lionesses #rachel daly #rachel daly x reader #millie bright #woso masterlist #woso x reader

[n3rdy247]

HEY GIRL YOU DEFINITELY DONT KNOW WHO THIS IS *WINK WINK WINK WINK* (I'm saying wink out loud everytime btw)

From stranger to stranger *wink* do you by any chance write samgladiator hcs??????? 😊😊😊

Perhaps x reader hcs??????? 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔

THATD BE SO SILLY IF YOU DID YKNOW LIKE GIRL ITD BE CRAZYYYYYYYY YKNOW LIKE ITD BE SO INSANEEEEEEEE RIGHT???????????

EAEHRHHSUGHE DUDE RIGHTHTHTH IT WOULD BE SOOOOOO FUCKING WILD AND SUCH A SILLY THING TO DO 🤭🤭🤭

(PROBABLY WILL BE OOC THOUGH since i only watched a few episodes, so I'm really sorry if this doesn't really fit your headcanons anon WHO I TOTALLY DON'T KNOW *wink wink*)

(ANYWAY, these will be (mostly) based off the reboot since idk much and keep in mind that I only watched a few episodes, so I'm really sorry if these HCs seem really OOC)

YHS!SAM X READER HEADCANONS GO WEEEE!!!!

I STILL DON'T KNOW HOW TO WRITE

❥ Sooo, starting off the bat, since I'm not really writing yandere hcs, let's put all the batshit crimes he committed aside for this occasion..and focus on him being really silly. ❥ If you see him tripping near a trash can, dude, that's on YOU. I imagine he'd be jokingly bragging to someone how he is about to make a 'pro gamer move', then immediately fail a millisecond later before he could even try SHIT

❥ His love language? Well...uh....you could say it's kind of a mix. ❥ For example, gift giving? Absolutely. If you were to mention something specific that you wanted even once (or maybe even when you were talking to yourself while walking back home)? Expect that very thing to appear right outside your doorstep with a poorly drawn rabbit doodle sticked on top of it with a bunny sticker. ❥ Quality time? Definitely! He loves to see you wake up and THRIVE FOR ANOTHER DAY! You BET he stalks the shit out of you though. If you can't shake the feeling that you're being watched at school, on the road back home, and mayybe when you are about to sleep, then that's on HIM. (Sorry, I said I'm not really writing yandere hcs, not that I will never write any.) ❥ Physical touch? ... ❥ DO YOU TAKE HIM AS A MENTALLY WELL GUY? I DIDN'T THINK SO. ❥ You should know by now that he would SCREAM the second his hand accidentally brushes against yours (though we're not sure about the accident part WINK WINK)

❥ I also have a teeny tiny headcanon that he only lets YOU touch his rabbit ears. (and I MEAN ONLY YOU if others even TRIED they'd be thrown to the nearest dumpster) And when you do so? He MELTS. Like don't be surprised if you see him giggle like a freaking teenage girl is what I'm trying to say 🤭🤭🤭

❥ You also cannot tell me he wouldn't also try to impress you, one way or another. Whether it be trying to make you giggle and twirl your hair by saying the most APPALLING pickup lines of all time, or casually talking to you about your interests as if he was already a huge fan of em (bro actually stood up all night looking at every search result on google about that topic, BUT SHH)

❥ He would also tell you about his day BY EITHER LYING OR TWISTING HIS WORDS AROUND. COME ON NOW.

"Sooo..what weree you up to this weekend?" ❥ "Oh, me??? Well, I bought my friend a cat...and I did help a guy raise money for his cancer.." as he recalls what the FUCK happened in his life that went wrong

❥ Now. You know this man would never ever want to leave you alone (as if it wasn't obvious enough with the abandonment issues and the stalking, but I digress) so you definitely would need to reassure his ass. But once you do so? His droopy rabbit ears would slowly, but surely go right back up again. He can't help it though, you just seem to always make him feel better by existing.

either way, he is a little fucked up bastard someone please put him in a psychiatric hospital (or kiss him, that sounds like a better solution) *DROPS THE MIC AND IMMEDIATELY RUNS*

#OH GOD I HOPE THIS IS GOOD I'M NOT REALLY SURE #RGRGRHGARGHRG I'M REALLY SORRY IF THIS ISN'T GREAT #yandere high school #yandere high school reboot #yhs reboot #yhs #samgladiator yhs #samgladiator #yhs sam x reader #yandere high school sam x reader #sam x reader #explodes like an atom bomb

[streaminn]

i closed my eyes and suddenly, i became known as the monsterfucker anon—ANYWAY; wednesday doesn't seem to be the type to become a green eyed monster but how does she react to the talks about people crushing on her girl? specially since their relationship status is vague, i could see someone (maybe a co-star or just a fan) asking sin out in her presence or publicly hearing someone wishing sin to rail them. speaking of which, with all the interview talks, i can def see hem reading thirst tweets together

you said that you didn't think really that far in but I HAVE TO ASK: how influential is the show and streamers like endespair in terms of the way outcasts are treated? being called a monsterfucker seems to be more derogatory than funny or nice tbh. is helios also a late bloomer like enid? and is viper also one for the macabre? if so, i feel like her describing helios' transformation to be graceful is so viper of her

since isabelle is an endespair fan, has she done anything to wednesday in behalf of endespair? like endespair is opening fan mail for like a special or something and suddenly comes across a paper she remembered isabelle asked her and the rest of the cast to sign or a poster of the lunal curse with wednesday's signature. is that a bit awkward for her? how does she treat it? esp since isabelle doesn't rlly seem to hide her infatuation with endespair. how does wednesday react? does she feel more obligated to show up as willa in the background?

you said that wenclair isn't really hiding their relationship. will endespair ever be like "o yea guys im e "sin" addams, watch lunal curse now" or sum? would isabelle notice certain traits sin and endespair share that lead her to realizing theyre the same person? does sin call wednesday willa on set? does anyone even bother to question why these two have matching rings? on why they're always so sus and gomez/morticia-like?? why are sins eyes suddenly pitch black when looking at wednesday but bright blue when at literally anyone else??

the interview about werewolves thoughts on the lunal curse, does it ever click to people that the cute werewolf blonde with huge teeth who praised the book and the upcoming adaptation—THE ONE WHO CALLED WEDNESDAY HER WIFE– IS THE SAME PRETTY WOMAN WEDNESDAY IS OFTEN SEEN WITH? THE ONE SHE'S SO COMFORTABLE AND HAPPY WITH???

THE BTS OF WENCLAIR— they're mostly in the background but they're never NOT doing anything. people go crazy for romance and probably see how close these two are. i mean, their co-workers see it, how can the world not? master lip readers come out and reveal the disgusting, dirty stuff these two speak in what seems to be a million different languages. it causes people to look deeper in miss e. addams, the beast that got wednesday out of her cage. WEDNESDAYS HANDS ARE UNDER HER SHIRT PEOPLE, BEST FRIENDS DONT DO THAT!!!

WHAT IF WEDNESDAY'S WALLET GETS LOST AND PEOPLE SEE THEIR MARRIAGE PHOTOS + OTHER STUFF LIKE LETTERS THEY EXCHANGE????

I swear being known as a monsterfucker is uh

Hm

Seeing as outcasts exists, it's kinda up in the air. Like one, being known as a monsterfucker is usually in jest and people just think you have a type or worse case, you got a fetish💀 which is what Wednesday's PR doesn't want her known for. They just twisted it into a fascination with actual monsters.

The more outcast inclined people in Wednesday's Fandom tend to think she simply has a type and it's just a running joke bc of what she writes. Kinda like how people hope she gets her own golden retriever werewolf Gf like Viper 🥺 bc clearly she's projecting her want /j

Anyways, as for if Wednesday reacts! She always hides a smile behind a mug when such talks happen, it's smug asf too. Like I got what you can't have <3

It's hard to be jealous when their relationship survived like 5-6 years of ldr so they trust each other a lot! She does tease Enid abt it tho, much to the werewolf's confusion.

"they want me to what-"

"yes my dear, they went you to do the very same thing you did to m-" sudden hand on mouth.

"wends you can't just say that in public!?"

Pushing that quickly aside, the outcasts racism thing isn't as bad here as it is in my streamer Wednesday au.

The forevermore series change the outcasts view from caution to intrigued, it's why endespair is such a niche streamer bc it's not everyday you see a supposed scary werewolf scream like a little girl and admire a woman.

Also seeing as imperial gold (ship name of helios and Viper) is literally Wenclair, yes Helios is a late bloomer and Viper is into the dark and macabre. It's why the show decides to go with Viper narrating some of helios' scenes and vice versa for that good contrast.

"despite the fact that I've been in this school for years, I haven't been granted the blessing to see Helios shift right before my very eyes.

Now that I'm gifted such an opportunity, I cannot believe the time I've wasted not seeing it.

She's beautiful.

All big gleaming teeth and a body shifting to a form no one else can compare too."

Then on screen is the most brutal looking werewolf transformation ever.

Meanwhile, we got Helios over here stating the obvious.

"to the stars, moons, planets above- they did not have the right to give my deadly roomie a silver knife"

Helios is standing there, looking fucking enraptured with blow out eyes as Viper does idk, smth. I haven't figured out the plot of Lunal Curse other than the main points soooo, it's left vague on purpose.

Endespair doesn't accept fanmail, left over paranoia from the stalker in her junior year so isabelle can't send such things.

Wednesday doesn't at all feel obligated to pop into stream as Willa. They just work in the same room and if Enid wants to go stand up to bring her wife into a hug then that's their business as chat cries abt how single they're making them feel.

As for if Isabelle, I feel like. She'd be in denial? But then she realizes the scar Enid has isn't just effects but real and she goes, oh shit

Like just a little bit bc the way Endespair carries herself is alot more easily exagerrated compared to how Enid normally is. It doesn't help that Enid dyed her hair a little bit more saturated for Helios so they may look similar if you double take.

So she was like 'aha, totally a coincidence' but when she's watching a endespair stream, Mika will wonder where shes watching sin from.

The two fucking PANIC after that

As for the matching rings, I made Enid wear two rings just for that reason too! So in the end It just looks like they're wearing accessories, that's all. Gold rings for Enid bc the obvious is obvious and white gold for wednesday.

Enid cringes at the thought of seeing herself on screen. So she doesn't at all bring up her status as Sin on stream. Someone brings up that there's a werewolf acting with Wednesday Addams? Cringe, disgusting, hurling noises

She's her own hater and chat takes it as Enid being low key jealous that it's another werewolf and not her.

As for whether people recognize Enid from that werewolf interview, they recognize her as endespair than sin. The dorky ass clothes, known beanie and overall simp mannerisms clocked it to her Fandom.

Sorry anon,, people are delusional sometimes so while they note the simp werewolf, they don't linger on it too long.

Wenclair bts? You're so right, whenever they're outside of their room, they do alot of things. Like Wednesday chasing Enid who's wearing a bit too tight of a shirt with the smaller lady wearing a jacket that suspiciously is a bit too baggy.

Sometimes you can see Wednesday looking over papers and Enid is just leaning over her, practically caging the director in between her arms.

Inbetween breaks, if Enid is ever drinking smth, the cast kinda does a double take when Wednesday grabs the bottle and drinks from it. They didn't even looked shocked, like yeah this happens.

Idt Wednesday would ever lose her wallet, but that would definitely be one way to reveal the relationship

#Monsterfucker anon #That's so funny istf #Streamer Enid au #Wenclair

[sizzlingpatrolfox]

Sorry for this useless post, I know you've talked about this a thousand times on your blog already, but I can't stress enough just how much I despise Jikookers.

That 'not-goldy' blog is literally talking about how they don't blame ot7s for staying far away from Jimin because Jimin's fans are toxic. What kind of supposed ARMY says something like that? So they're just going to pretend Jimin's stans are just attacking people unprovoked? They're just going to pretend the reason they're like this isn't retaliation for the way ot7s have been treating Jimin for years? And PJMs are somehow the worst of all solo stans for simply defending Jimin? The recent issue with the RIAJ certification and Hybe sharing articles labeling JK as the first to go platinum when JM is the first didn't even move them? Wow.

And someone compared JK's support for Eunwoo with his "support" for JM (I don't even know why anti-jikookers/non-shippers keep sending those people asks. It's hopeless) and this not-goldy person literally said JK is a sold out king and people are dying to have him promote their work. What!? They're literally implying that JK's Lives helped JM's career and gave him more exposure - I wouldn't be surprised if they wholeheartedly believe that JM's huge success and longevity on the charts is all thanks to JK. These people are really content in ignoring the fact that JM is objectively the most popular BTS member outside of the ARMY Fandom.

And it's crazy that not a single Jikooker commented on their posts to disagree with them. They are really never beating the allegations that they don't care about JM and only use him as a tool for their shipping fantasies.

I'm not going to check the blog because I don't want to lose braincells but I'll take your word for it.

Someone tell her Eunwoo is just as famous or probably even MORE famous than JK in south korea 😭😭😭

Well, most of them never implied it - they outright said a lot of times that he was promoting Jimin and doing for him what the company didn't do. They were saying it even after seven and seeing the difference in treatment. Sometimes I do wonder if they even see it because they seem to be interested only in the interactions and the ship moments. It's not like they really care about anything else.

Promotion is introducing your work to a new audience. Jungkook went live for the same friendless, touch-starved public he goes live for every day; the people watching him that time were the same that wanted Jimin to get hate crimed in the military two weeks ago. Fantastic promo job, indeed. Hope he's collected his nobel peace prize.

A few days ago I suddenly remembered the name of a jikooker whose posts I hadn't come across in a while, so I looked it up and her whole blog is Jungkook. Literally. There's nothing about Jimin. Right after I saw that, Jimin and Jungkook went to Japan and I thought "now she's going to acknowledge Jimin exists". I went to her blog again and lo and behold... a jikook post after months of her not posting anything about Jimin. Not even This is Jimin. That's how all the jikook accounts that get the most interactions are here in tumblr.

Most Jimin biased people at least admit that they care more about Jimin, and that they might have some soft spot or affection for Jungkook. But others act like they really respect and like both in the same capacity when you can tell that's not true. Then they'll try to police others on how to be a fan when they're hypocrites themselves.

"not a single Jikooker commented on their posts to disagree with them. They are really never beating the allegations that they don't care about JM and only use him as a tool for their shipping fantasies."

Exactly. That's why they never cared about the favoritism because they actually, geniunely think Jungkook is better and more deserving. To them, the favoritism was just status quo because to them, Jimin is less than Jungkook as an artist and at times, even as a person. That's why they never said anything, pretend they're not seeing the lies, the mediaplay, the manipulation and all the lenghts they went and are going for him to get stuff Jimin got with the bare minimum and without his fans thinking about records.