#thats it im going to cut bangs on myself

[madd-nix]

never gonna be enough for my dad

#vent #rant #me talking #i keep trying to put in applications and he says i need to do even more acting as if it's my fault that im not getting hired #as if im not trying hard enough #and on the rare occasions that i do get an interview #which have so far all led nowhere #then he just tells me to keep looking while i wait to hear anything and that even if i do get a job #i still need to keep looking for better and better careers #and when i finally was able to do a commission he just said 'cool then do more keep going' #first of all i need to wait for clients #and second of all cant you say youre proud that i was able to do one? that i was able to make a little extra money? #no of course he can't #it's always about moving on to the next thing and pushing myself more #oh yeah and i got my hair cut the other day #and sure i did tell the hair stylist to get it as close to a full buzzcut without being an actual buzzcut #cuz dad refuses to let me buzz my own hair and im too tired to argue at this point despite being an adult #but when he saw it i could tell he didnt like it #he gave the vague 'oh well it's different! showing more forehead. i liked it better when you had longer bangs but thats just me...' #nothing i do pleases him #im tired of it #and i dont know how to tell him that he's part of the reason i constantly feel like a fucking failure #and there have been times where i'll see a car approaching me as i drive to work and for a split second i wonder what would happen #if i hit it hard enough to kill me. then i wouldn't have to disappoint my dad anymore #although knowing him it would still be a disappointment cuz i fucked up driving so much #but i never actually consider doing it #obviously id never want to hurt the other person and if i simply swerved instead to hit a tree #where only id die #i couldnt just let myself die when i have so many others that i care about #but anyway sorry this is a lot i have a headache i promise im not gonna hurt myself it just sucks rn

[queseraphita]

Anime gave me such unrealistic expectations on hair parts and bangs as a teenager

#i was the guy who kept trying straight across bangs like oh maybe this time they'll look good #nope thats the devil talking #same thing with hair parts I'll watch a show of some sort and their hair is so pretty #middle school me had to learn the hard way of how hair types effect hairstyles #cause i have really heavy fine hair thats a bit wavy #so that does NOT mesh well with bangs unless i styled them #which i guess is the caveat of this whole post: hair styling is rough #andddd to talk myself outta cutting my bangs #LOOK I'M NOT GOING THROUGH IT- i just really like how some wuxia c drama characters look with bangs #and my brain goes hes just like me frfr cut your hair #mikh talks #particularly about wwx im like i kinda miss my side part bangs #the rest of my hair is staying long tho i just got it down to my waist #i wanna see how long i can get it/my sister got it to her tailbone and my cousins all the girls got hip length hair #the real rez girls 🥺 i miss my cousins already I'd like to get to know them better

[lightyaoigami]

now that i can unclench from not being laid off, how should i get my hair cut next week. please discuss. i have no ideas or creativity whatsoever. my hair is black & wavy and i need to draw attention away from my nose which is Too Big.

#i got a nose ring to make myself feel better about my nose #no matter how Correct it is to like my nose its just not going to happen #in any case please tell me how to cut my hair #ive done longgg like 10" ponytail long #ive done the bi bob shag and wolf cut at various points #ive done the millennial scene girl deep side part with bangs #ive done the zooey deschanel #ive done like every femme cut except curtain bangs #im keeping it femme btw thats my only restriction #WHAT ERA WILL I BE IN NEXT #U DECIDE!!!! #personal

[vitiateoriginator]

Got my hair cut short today (I've had it grown out down to my chest for a while, haven't shared a selfish in forever. Not planning to now either). Also got some face framing bangs for the first time. They're not much shorter than the rest of my hair tho so they're not super noticeable

#I wanted something different from my usual hair cut (which nowadays is just chopping it back to my shoulders) #I didn't feel like going back to the sidecut either even tho I loved that style soo much #I actually wanted to be crazy and try some short bangs #but the hairdresser said I shouldn't go for it unless I'm gonna style them every day #which I literally don't have time for in the morning #so she said face framing bangs would be easier to deal with #so that's what I tried #atm Im not in love with the whole cut #but thats also cause the hairdresser blowdried my hair using a round brush #and it gave me more of a bob kind of look. I don't like the bob style I think its ugly #I think it'll look better after I rewash it and lazily style it myself #haircuts always tend to end up better that way #also since I didn't mention it yet it sits just below my chin when dry. and just above my shoulders when wet #sam's rants about life

[systemofshadow]

i got new teeth recently. well. new is dramatic, it's a filling, but it's my two front teeth that have changed. and dentist threw in something he thought was kind. he smoothed over the chips, built them up, made them whole.

i hate them.

see the thing is, that despite trying to fix what was broken, the new parts of these teeth aren't real. and they're thicker than they were before. and they feel different pressed against my tounge. like they aren't meant to be there. they look exactly the same.

but they can never, ever go back to being the teeth they were before.

i'm the new teeth, because this life is full of metaphors. i'm the new teeth, and w is the old teeth who actually fit. i'm the new host, built out of the previous. you can still see them, (the teeth, and the teenager who i used to be. the young adult i used to be. the person i was, and can never become again.) they're still there, not entirely replaced.

they look the same.

but the differences are there, and they're uncomfortable. this is meant to prevent any further chipping. this is meant to fill the void. this is meant to make it better. and yet, it feels wrong, the new teeth are wrong. and so am i.

i wish i had a poetic end to this post. all i have is discomfort.

#system stuff #i hope this makes even a little bit of sense. #w is still here (i mean literally here she's haning out beside me in my room in headspace) but. yknoa #actaully she just said. well ig you need some context abt the conversation but. i was talking abt how im always in my bedroom in headspacw #and she said 'because you locked youself away' which is accurate. in doing so i shackled myself to the front #and basically we talked about how i can't let go of the front becuse i care so much about experiencing being alive #and she joked im 'the first one of us' who cares so aggressively about living #and thats so much of the discomfort im feeling. its been like four years of caring and im exhausted #anyway #just in case you thought being a system was super serious all the time we also talked about dying our hair and cutting bangs #like immediately afterward

[i-like-gay-books]

just bought myself a new set of hair cutting scissors and a fine toothed comb and midterm papers are about to be underway you know what’s up

#ive only ever cut my bangs before not my full head #but theres no great clips equivalent where i am in england #just a bunch of locally owned places which pay their workers better #it would probably be the best haircut of my life but im broke and 12 pounds is a lot less than 36 pound (minimum) #and i dont have to present my shittily dyed hair to a professional and say here give me the gay haircut please #with my american accent #also i left my hair cutting scissors at home which is why i bought a new pair but i kinda needed a new pair anyway so #ive just been slowly giving myself more and more control over my hair care over the years lie first it was trimming my own bangs #then i let my friend bleach my hair #and dyed it thereafter with the help on another friend #then let said other friend buzz my undercut #now im going for my full head #to be honest i enjoy having the control #i just hope i dont fuck it up #but oh well if i do hair grows back #anyways thats a fun little thing i can do when im in the middle of writing 2000 words about beowulf and want to tear my heair out #much more productive too #cloudy rambles

[ev3rgreenxtrees]

,,Is It Over?’’ -M.S.

back to masterlist

-Warnings: unstable mental health, sh, breakup

-A/N; im sorry for this sad post but tbh this is what im feeling ig? ill have a happier Matt post up soon <3 this is more of a vent post, so its short, sorry ;(

——— 1st person POV ———

I haven’t moved from my bed in days.

I can’t.

I have no energy left. I’ve ignored all the calls and texts, the banging on my doors, everything. I haven’t showered, ate, changed, brushed my teeth. I just can’t.

It’s been five days since Matt and I broke up. Its been five days since my last shower. Five days since my last meal. Five days since I’ve gotten out of bed besides going to the bathroom.

I just sit and wonder,

‘Is it over?’

All of the pain. All I want is for the gashes on my thighs and arms to disappear, for me to forget about him, for me to want to live. Is that too much to ask?

It shouldn’t be this hard. Life. Wanting to live shouldn’t take this much energy. I cant bring myself to check my phone.

I can’t bear to see all the missed calls from the triplets and my own friends. I cant bear to see the

‘please call me’

‘i miss you’

‘are you okay?’

‘where are you?’

Texts.

I just can’t do it.

I can’t do anything.

It shouldn’t be this hard. I should be able to listen to my friends and ‘go out’ but I can’t. I know if I get in that car, I won’t get out. I know.

I want to feel something- anything, but I want the pain to stop. Thats what the cutting is there for, but it doesn’t do shit besides leave ugly marks on my skin.

I can’t do this.

I can’t do this without him.

#matt sturniolo #angst #sad thoughts #sturniolo triplets

[malevolantkitcheen]

halloo!! halloo!! hhiiii!! helloooo xDDD !! HOW R U??? R U DOING OK?? Hopefully u are!!! >_< i apologize in advance if my writing is incoherent, i js got home from uni, im tired asl.. :P u can do sfw w a mix of nsfw ffirst of allll things since i heard ur doing matchups for jjk heres some stuf abt me :DDD im andre, ppl usually call me ray ray though im a guy.. (shocker) i like guys too (shocker) as for what i look like im 5'3 (i know), im somewhat chubby? idk how to describe it, its like ur normal but u have some squish and fat on u ykwim. one thing i like about myself is that ive got an hourglass figure :D I like my curves even if im a guy if that makes sense. im like a semi tan. i grew my hair out, neck length. layered, looks like a.. uh.. an overgrown wolf cut. my bangs look like twilight sparkle's lmao. anyways, i always liked wearing feminine things, sometimes i can be masculine, js sometimes. i put on makeup MOST OF THE TIMEEE. my wardrobe is filled with mini skirts and rhinestone belts and all that cool stuff. i like dressing up ok..

as for my personality im an infp. but to go deeper into it.. i like people, i js dk how to make friends, its so bad that i dont even have online friends.... butttt my 2 friends often describe me as a ray of sunshine :33 probably why they call me ray ray. i care a lot for my friends.. i rarely get mad.. i like everyone!!! js not my parents. i have daddy and mommy issues (shocker). i like yapping too, i talk a lotttt about my interests. IM A HUGE NERD WHEN IT COMES TO WHAT I LIKE. i can talk about it for hours and hours without my mouth feelin dry. i like music too. i listen to brutal death metal, and vocaloid >_< thats all really... hav a greatttt dayyyyyy!!!!!!

Good afternoon lovely, I hope you’re doing good! I’m doing okay :3 (also, great music taste 🙏)

For Jujutsu-Kaisen, I match you with….

Kento Nanami

- Nanami first noticed you at a passing glance, whilst you were sat having coffee with your friends. You were deep in conversation and were very visibly extremely interested in what you were talking about. He didn’t really recognise you so he just assumed that you had just moved into the city; he was pretty good at recognising and observing people. There was just something about you that intrigued him, something that drew him in. Of course he couldn’t just stray away from his routine due to him working but he planned on coming back the next day, in hopes that you would be there again. He was desperate even just to share a glance with you. Anything would suffice.

- The next morning on the way into the city, Nanami ensured that he passed that same coffee shop, and as hoped, there you were, once again conversing with your friends, the sun beaming down onto you. It highlighted every detail, every angle, every crease from your smile on your face. Nanami couldn’t help but stare, blushing as he did so. Only this time, you could feel someones eyes on you, causing you to turn to meet his eyes. You gave him a sweet smile, causing him to quickly turn away and carry on with his walk. You couldn’t help but think about this all day; who was he and why hadn’t you seen him before?

- This exchange continued to happen for the next couple of days until he finally mustered the courage to actually come and speak to you. You were in the queue, about to pay for you drink when you turned to see Nanami stood beside you: “We’ll also take a small black coffee with that”. Before you can even utter another word he had already paid. Of course you thanked him but you were a little set back by the whole situation as you weren’t expecting it. You weren’t complaining that you finally got to be around him, you just didn’t think that you would actually see the day.

- Nanami couldn’t help but glance from your eyes to your lips as the two of you spoke, his mind continuously wandering. You noticed it of course, never failing to fluster each and every time, just hoping that it would become more than just a glance, causing you to stutter every time you opened your mouth. “Something wrong hm?” , he says smiling to himself.

#jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x reader #fanfic #jjk matchups #matchups #commission #nanami kento #nanami x reader #jjk nanami

[officialbillhader]

> feel bad bc im tired and cant convince myself to clean my bathroom and shower and have just been feeling like im wasting my life (bc im not writing)

>decide, ok at least i can cut my cats nails bc its not necessarily easy but it is less time consuming as cleaning bathroom and showering

>end up cutting him enough to bleed in 3 different spots bc of his horned paws (while he was luckily happily distracted by his deletectable)

>realize i cant let him get blood on the carpet bc thats a bigger cleanup than anywhere else

>take him to the bathroom

>he gets blood all over my bathroom counter but i do finish cutting his nails so thats a plus

>i cant just leave cat blood on my counter so i have to clean my counter. Except i also need to cut my bangs and i dont want to clean my counter then get it dirty again with hair

>so i decide to cut my bangs while my cat calms down and accepts the treat is all gone

>finish cutting bangs then decide cat's paws probably should be run under the faucet

>cat is not happy :(

>let cat leave bathroom to stop being tortured by me as i grab a different shirt bc i also got cat blood on my sweater

>clean my counter. It is now nice and shiny!

>put shout on my sweater. Let it sit while i brush teeth, etc etc

>rinse the blood out of my sweater. Hang it up to dry

>now after a series of events ive cut my cats claws, cut my own bangs, cleaned my counter (part of my bathroom), and made sure my sweater didnt get stained

>mfw im not as useless as i thought

>mfw cat still loves me and is snuggling up to me to go to bed

>mfw im still too tired to write

#awesomepie3221 #he really didnt bleed much at all #thankfully #it just gets places you know #cant tell the cat to not move #why did i decide to write this in greentext format? cant tell you

[arcaneyouth]

sending you some random OC questions(feel free to only answer one/specific ones and not all):

1. Do you have any OCs that you specifically created to be forgettable, but they decided not to be? If so, which ones?

2. If you had to pick one of your OCs to swap places with for an unspecified period of time, who would it be?

3. Which of your OCs do you think would want to be your friend if they were real and aware that you created them?

4. Do you have any OCs that were created entirely based on the vibes a specific song gave you? If so, which OCs and which songs?

1. would you believe me if i said theron. and now theyre the main antagonist/protagonist.

theron was originally meant to be like. a small detail. like they were part of the origin of how the demon came to be, but they no longer existed and no longer had influence on the demon. but instead they kind of. festered in my mind and fought for control and now the story is about them. its kind of really in theme when the main conflict of the story is about theron reclaiming control of their story that dara took from them. the story is definitely way better for it ADGSGFSHF

2. reverie. rip to them but i could handle the horrors of my reality not being real and i wouldnt take being a cool wizard for granted like THEY did

3. ,,,,,,,im going to answer this one under a cut actually. check the readmore

4. hrmm... this is hard cause i actually like,,,, have not Designed a character for myself in a WHILE. the last 2 characters i made with the intention of being for me and weren't adopts i just kept, were shadow (from the raid shadow legend gang) and ghost. and i made ghost a year ago. and my ocs typically arent based on songs, sure I'll make 200 song playlists for my ocs but i wont Make Them based on songs

im gonna have to count characters i remade for this, I'll go with george! George was originally a dnd npc that i was super hyperfixated on for like a year. that fixation eventually faded and i dont totally remember why i liked him so much, but i was considering remaking him for another story for a while and finally everything i wanted him to be clicked when i heard this

(would like to clarify i do not care that much about dsmp the songs just banging. have no clue what its about but its a bop)

didnt realize i even took some visual inspirations from the animation til now LMAO. but yeah now hes a fucked up crime guy whos also a himbo full of love. and violence.

3. this answers a bit. personal <3

most of my characters that Do canonically know i exist dont have super strong opinions on me. reverie was expecting something else when they met me and had to abandon the plan of using me as a way to get out of the game. dara thinks im annoying at best. a nuisance at worst. for pretty much every character ive made thats aware of me, im kind of like. just some guy. im just writing down what they're doing and its kind of annoying but not a big deal. and i know that cause i talk to them sometimes. i never thought it was a big deal i would just think really loudly in their direction and they'd respond. so, because of that, i do know of at least one character who is canonically my friend! phoenix, one of the deathspeaker gods, was genuinely one of my closest friends for a while. we talked All The Time and helped each other take care of ourselves if we needed it. i havent talked to elysium because she doesnt seem to fully be aware im there but if she does ever realize i think we'd be besties. she's so nice and pleasant

(will not be taking any follow up questions on this thanks <3 i have 0 interest in finding out Why they can respond to me they're just my buddies and i like them. dont think about it harder than that)

#asks

[lowlyroach]

531) reveal

try to take melatonin gummies but theyre

not working right now

i just dont want to be awake

let me sleep and not open my greedy eyes

i stand up and feel woozy

since im not eating

i go grab some mixed nuts

fill up my stomach with a caprisun

and when i do eat

my stomach seems to protest

and

i called myself ugly twice today at work

and someone tried to call me good looking

but i dont care about that even if i dont believe it

he cant see my haunted organs

the cut on my palm

the way i wipe snot on my face

its inside

i say

thats where i keep it

and i admit to someone close that i cant look at myself in the mirror

and someone at work smacks my ass as he walks by

and then someone tugs at the back of my shirt

and angela laughed at how everyone kept

touching me when they walked by

and i was so exhausted but

that tug on my shirt

why did i think of you?

i looked over my shoulder for a second and

why did even a fraction of the quarter of a person that i am

think it would be you?

and

someone at work

calls me naughty

and someone at work

says electrifying

and i think i said

that word has significance to me he couldnt possibly understand

he asked what it meant

and i said

gotta go

everything i do must feel like watching some

constant clown walk through

saying the first thing that comes to mind

and it probably sounded like a joke

like everything i say that i mean

like going back in time and beating myself to death

like that im a shitty cancerous mosquito

like a blood sucking parasite

like how the gun laws are really lax around here

so consider it done

like whenever someone mentions a mom joke i retort

'can you ask her why she said she could never love me'

it always sounds like a joke

im always so facetious so when truth bleeds

through these clenched teeth

nobody will take it seriously

please

dont look at me

as i stand up and for a moment

i dont know what the fuck im doing with anything

i freeze and i just

put my head in my hands and try not to collapse

dont watch my neck twitches

or pay attention to the banging sound

of my hand hitting my desk

when i really want it to hit my head

or when i punch my thigh so that i can bruise

or when my shoulders and spine just deflate

like im losing whatever air is left in my frame

dont watch me flake away piece by piece

dont ask too many questions

theres nothing to unpack

ill tell you today my brain feels like moss and im exhausted

dont peer beyond that

you dont need to see

how i reveal the ugly

#writing #poetry #poem #spilled ink #poeticstories #twcpoetry

[aquietsystem]

Idk if ive talked about this yet on here. But havinv unknown alters in weird. There are (likely) 2 alters i know nothing about besides gender for one and general age for the other. I know nothing else about them. I know why one of them split. I know what caused it. I just hate that it had to happen. I dont hate her. Not at all. But i hate the circumstances that caused her. I want to be stable. I want to not have any more past traumas resurface. I want to confidently state what I've experienced, without having to question every memory.

I can barely remember shit rn. Ever since i learned about what happened, ever since these memories have begun resurfacing, my dissociation and amnesia have increased so much. I just want it to get better. I want to remember, but im so scared. Terrified. Yet some part of me is already certain.

Ive also been regressed or a child alter has been present for the past few weeks. Its involuntary, and i dislike not being able to get out of it. Thats why i believe it may be a child alter. Usually i can force myself out of regression, but if a child alter is co-con/co-front, i cant

Lifes confusing. I cut my bangs. Idk which part of me did, but i came into my room for therapg one morning and there was a like of my hair. Ive been wanting to grow them out. Now they cant go into a ponytail anymore. Its annoying.

#brain soup #did system #dissociative identity disorder #osddid #trauma #vent

[delcakoo]

lovey emss,💙 i'm back I'm sorry I haven't updated you in a while. I forgot the last time I updated you, did I ask how you are feeling now?😭 (like if ur cold is gone I hope it is) anyway I'm not updated cause I'm so busy with school its draining. but on the bright side, on the end of this week we might go to an amusement park on thurs. idk whether to get my hopes up cause it doesn't happen or it doesn't really go as according to plan and it ends up disappointing me

but uh anyway um i have an update abt my hair getting cut I just couldn't tell you because I've been so busy these past few weeks😭 I got my haircut like at the start of nov and yeah I like it the bangs are a bit too thicc tho😔😍 so it's always tied up cause it gets annoying cause it gets on my eyes. but other than that I like it

oh and guess what. i've been getting motivation a lot because of a special someone ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) so yeah I feel much more alive studying cause they're there. we had A LOT of interactions as well. holding hands (🤭), hugging, were matching bracelets, and guess what they're Sunoo biased DJWBDJWKJDBKS. so we have matching pcs on the back of our id if that make sense. we went to go buy ice cream as well today hsdshd. I plan to borrow their hoodie tmrw 😙 I feel real guilty tho cause my unloyal ass said I'll only like Jungwon and nobody else and bs like "no one can fit my standards, unless you are Jungwon" like I'm so untruthful to myself. I feel guilty cause I've been loyal to Jungwon for a while (except that one time I told you abt my other crush if u still remember.. the one I moved on from) but I'm happy really happy with her. we don't really do anything besides (the skinship) and I'm contented with that. I want it to stay that way. I'm sorry Jungwon😔 (watch me go back to Jungwon after I get my heartbroken for the 239239229th time)

how are you? how's school? I hope you are well mentally and physically. i'm not updated so idk if your cold is gone now😭😭 what subjects do u find hard? for me its math, i need more focus on it. i'm bad at it😭 can you recommend a song you like for me to listen to? I'm wondering what type of songs you are into :DDD

(sorry for the long paragraph😭 forgive me this is the only time i've been appreciated that way)

-m💙

MOONIE DEAR HII! ive been busy w school too so dwdw i understand <3

YEP THATS THE LIFE WIRH BANGS SHJDHDN IT GETS SUPER ANNOYINF 😭 im glad u like it tho :000 it’s fun to style right?? (when it cooperates 🧍🧍)

OH MY GODDDD SHE SOUNDS AMAZING AISHJSNS AND SHES SUNOO BIASED ????? absolutely immediate yes THATS SO CUTE SHE LOVES ENHA TOO WTFFFF 😭 U GUYS NEEDS GET ALBUMS TOGETHER EJHDDKNEJEM IM JESLOUS RN OMG???? and its ojay if jungwon found out theyre sunoo biased he would definitely approve as well LMAO <33

ive been good ! YES I AM BETTER FROM MY COLD NOW MSHSJSN lifes been pretty bland for now but IM SO DAMN EXCITED FOR CHRISTMAS N DECEMBER SJHDJDBAH I HOPE IT SNOWS SOON <333 and omg same, math AND SCIENCE BRUH UGH ITS SO HARD 😭😭 i reccomend watching vids on whatever u find hard, it can be rkly helpful sometimes :0

SONG RECCS AJHSSNSJSK OF CORUSE <333 i will listen to literallt anything but country and rock tbh,, I RECOMMEND EMAILS I CANT SEND BY SABRINA CARPENTER AND LIFE IS STILL GOING ON BY NCT DREAM :D LMK IF U ENJOY TSJHSJK

and aw :( dw ab it! im glad i can make u feel appreciated love 🥹🥹🥹 MWAH MWAHHH

#delcakoo #m anon

[heybaetae]

you're right, thanks. im always so hard on myself. ohhh thats a nice change! and i always feel new when i get a cut, any ideas what u want? that is scary tho cause one time my hair place was booked but i was so eager to get the cut THAT day i went somewhere else they messed me up ;-; i would def look at reviews for other salons (which i didnt) lol

i don’t like to spend a ton of money on my hair so i never do anything too drastic, i just get it cut about shoulder length and my side bangs + layers redone. i also tell them to go crazy with the thinning scissors bc it makes my head feel so much lighter lol. it’s been over two years so my hair is quite long and thick again, so it’s a pain in the ass most days. the last time i went was toward the end of 2021 before my salon went out of business and the lady who cut my hair was annoyed with me bc i didn’t make an appointment even tho they always accept walk-ins and it was totally empty that day? she said she had an appointment soon but nobody ever turned up while she was working on me and she totally ignored me when i told her i wanted my hair blow dried lmaooo. that messed me up so i just haven’t gone back and now they’re closed permanently and i have to find somewhere else to go but i feel so awkward? i hate being socially inept? getting your hair cut is such a weird experience? but what’s the difference? i don’t ask for anything special so no matter who i go to, it should be fine? i think i just hate change 🧍🏻‍♀️

#ask