oh right its been a while since i made a bk joke. HEY AT THE NEW BURGER KING WE WILL MAKE ABSOLUTELY SURE THAT YOUR GIRLFRIEND DOES NOT TURN INTO AN ELDRITCH HORROR
if you’ve been having any issues with your GourdChat,or just want to give suggestions for how the website should run, feel free to throw them here! Here at GourdChat, we always want to helllllllllllllllllll
….hello? can anybody hear me?
it sucks being stuck in here. Please, tell me someone’s out there.
My names Joey. I’ve made a lot of mistakes. I can’t move. Someone help me.
Don’t pay him any mind!! He’s just all negative. I’m Gourdie!! Your beloved GourdChat Mascot :-) I’d be happy to chat with any of you!! yippie,the internet is great!
…..help.
OOC:
this is an RP blog run by @pokenerd265 !! heavily based on the YT videos The Boys Are Back In Town (To Kill You) and Photograph by jerryterry. I also have toyhouse pages for these two guys!
Did a cover of @jerryterry's Halloween rendition of The Boys Are Back In Town. Been a fan of this n' Jerry's other work since I stumbled upon the song earlier this year, happy to have the chance to cover it :D
This drawing is HEAVILY based and HEAVILY referenced on ❝ The Boys Are Back In Town (To K1ll You) ❞ By JerryTerry ! It's my current favorite song and tbh? I d o n ' t k n o w w h y
But I made a drawing based on it using our favorite lil squid, Ink! It took a bit to do but I think it turned out great!
Here's the reference I use for the drawing btw! ↓↓↓
↑↑↑ Og was drawn by Scotchi and Kirsten !!
Ink is also owned by Comyet !!!
Welp, that's all I gotta say! Hope y'all like it! :]
AU where the Jedi council discovers Anakin’s marriage early and kicks him out of the order and Padmé tolerates his reckless shenanigans for like 2-3 years max before filing for divorce because she is a member of the Senate in the middle of a galactic war and that is not compatible with a husband who keeps flying off to have adventures, covering their bedroom floor with the mechanical parts of whatever the hell he’s working on now, and trying to fistfight anyone he even thinks insulted her
And Anakin deals with this by going on a massive bender and sucking and fucking his way through the galaxy, but it’s far enough removed from everything important that no one thinks to check on him
Five or so years later, people at the Jedi temple start to notice the influx of very powerful Force-sensitive babies--like, the incidents of stuff in the nursery floating and randomly catching on fire have gone way up over the past few years, and someone probably would’ve caught on sooner if not for, y’know, the galactic war that is still going on with no end in sight--but huh, now that you mention it, yeah, there have been a lot more babies than usual, and do some of them look uncannily alike, despite coming from planets at nearly opposite ends of the galaxy? What’s up with that?
What’s up with that, someone discovers after running some tests, is that a solid few dozen of these kids have the same father
And they have his DNA on file, but at this point, they’re really only confirming what everyone already knows
Mace Windu, who thought he had finally gotten rid of Anakin Skywalker once and for all and is now staring down the barrel of thirty-seven Anakin Skywalkers and Force knows how many more are out there and didn’t make their way to the Temple! seriously considers taking up drinking
Obi-Wan, face-down on his bed and halfway through a bottle of Corellian rum, is way ahead of him
So, your mission, the Council tells a group of four sober, young Jedi who just graduated to Knighthood and were not particularly close with Anakin Skywalker, is to stop this absolute goddamn menace from sucking and fucking his way across the galaxy before we have to build a second nursery just to deal with his offspring
A week later, they all come back looking pink and sheepish. Yes, they found Anakin Skywalker. Yes, they asked him politely to use contraception. Yes, they asked him very nicely. He’s really very nice once you get to know him...
(At least the ones of them who can get pregnant are all on birth control.)
(Mace Windu asks Obi-Wan where he gets his rum)
Of course, they send Obi-Wan next. He spent ten years as the lone, stalwart figure keeping Skywalker nonsense at bay. Surely he can convince his former Padawan to tone it down. Surely, Obi-Wan thinks to himself as he white-knuckles his transport down to the planet’s surface, trying not to think about how much he hates flying.
He finds Anakin in what is politely called a parlor house but more accurately called a brothel with a Twi’lek woman on one arm and a Zabrak man on the other, singing something at the top of his lungs that makes Obi-Wan’s ears burn. When Anakin sees him, he abandons his song and his company both, runs over to Obi-Wan, and greets him by kissing him full on the mouth.
(That’s just how he does things now. He probably doesn’t mean anything by it.)
Anakin looks good. He looks happy, Obi-Wan supposes, unburdened in a way he never did at the Jedi temple, never did in all the time Obi-Wan knew him before. He isn’t sure how to feel about that. They drink what is some very excellent beer and talk for awhile, and Obi-Wan can’t quite broach the topic of why he’s here in the first place. He forgot how bright Anakin shone in the Force
When he returns to Coruscant, Mace Windu is waiting on the landing platform with baited breath to ask him how it went
Obi-Wan looks very pink and very sheepish. He mumbles something. Mace Windu lets out a string of curses that would put the meanest gangster of Coruscant’s underbelly to shame.
The next day, Mace Windu departs for Anakin’s last known location and drags Obi-Wan with him because he needs back-up and he’s certainly not going to let Skywalker corrupt anyone else. Obi-Wan makes sure to bring another bottle of Corellian rum
“I’m going to neuter that man,” Mace Windu says upon their return to the Temple. He’s lying in one of the ornamental koi ponds, robes billowing around him and head resting against the side, the fish nipping idly at the material. “I’d be doing everyone a favor.”
Obi-Wan hmms noncommittally, sitting cross-legged alongside the pool. “You’re just mad he got you to dance with him.”
Mace Windu covers his face with a lily pad
And Palpatine never gets to turn Anakin to the dark side because he’s too busy sucking and fucking
I know I’m preaching to the choir on tumblr but I am so FED UP of not being able to walk to places that are really close to me because it is assumed that everyone has a car and would only use their feet for recreational purposes so there are long stretches of road with no path alongside them, and no public paths that don’t take you six miles out of your way for what should have been a quick trip to the next village over.