#the ending couldve been better tho i know :(

[st4rd0lly]

ohh for the valentines thing maybe pm dazai (like in dark era) + virginity loss?

𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐌𝐄 ?

cw : virginity loss , corruption kink , slight possessiveness + obsessiveness , gn reader , dom dazai , sub reader , biting , dacryphilia , he’s kind of pathetic in this , lovesick dazai ftw , not safe sex (please if you’re gonna fuck irl do it safe and do it right darlings, wrap that thang), MDNI

Dazai shouldn’t be seeing you.

He shouldn’t be seeing anyone for a matter of fact, this he knew this well. Everyone around him knew it too. The cold and brutal executive who had a penchant for toying around with people. You knew this too, in fact you knew it too well.

So why were you in this position now?

Pleasure wasn’t something Dazai actively sought after, at least not for himself. Sex was more of means to gain information, and he knew a lot of it. Outside of it being one of many tactics for the mafia, he wasn’t particularly interested in having such an intimate time. And yet he feels like his skin is on fire when he sees any inch of you, eyes focusing in on any part of skin showing. 

He tried to convince himself that this was just stupid lust, it’ll go away soon. You were just another mission partner, a fellow executive who tags along with him and Chuuya occasionally. You weren’t anything special to him, no not at all. You definitely weren’t the person he goes to when he had no one else to bother, and no, you definitely weren’t the person he gets reminded of the most. 

That would be pathetic of him. And it’s not like he enjoys being so casually touchy with you. He totally doesn’t reach to pull and hold your arm to walk around with you when he starts an argument with Chuuya, huffing and telling you to just follow his lead instead of that stupid ginger. And he definitely doesn’t like it when he rests his head on your shoulder or vice versa when you two are alone. Or when he tells his bar friends about you. No, that’s just some stupid cringey romance thing. He tells himself he’s too good for that stuff. 

So again, why were you in this position now?

His hands eagerly cup your face, his lips chasing yours each time you try to pull away for air. He wanted you to feel the way he does, how suffocating his love is for you. How each time he tried to pull away to breathe, you always pulled him right back in. But he realizes that unfortunately, he is a human who needs to breathe too, so he stopped momentarily for the both of you to catch your breaths. He wanted to dare not open his eyes but he was caught up in how they looked at him.

You didn’t look at him in pure disgust, or just pure lust. You looked at him with a hunger, a desire, an unfamiliar love that he was afraid of. But when it came to you, he was reduced to nothing but a lovesick yearner. And maybe he was ready to chase. 

‘I want you.’ were the words he wish he could’ve said out loud to you, you deserved to hear them. But like an angel, it was like you heard the prayer repeating in his mind. 

“I want you.” You whispered, your own hand reaching his cheek, the side where his eye was covered. He had to stop himself right then and there from melting and nuzzling into your touch. 

“Have me then.” He replied quietly, wanting to come off as confident but his words sounded vulnerable to you.

“You would be my first.” You chuckled a little, smiling at him. Then his head got dizzy at the fact. Did he care whether you were a virgin or not? Not really, because either way, he was determined to make you feel like it was your first time on a high. But there was that burned so deliciously in his chest knowing that he would be the first to touch you. And he was sure to be the last too. Just like he was yours, you were his. 

“First and only.” He grinned.

“We’ll see.”

And now that’s how you got into the position you were in now. 

“Aren’t you taking me so good hm?” He cooed into your ear, cock buried deep inside you with each thrust of his hips. He felt you squirm, watching your chest heave and pretty tears fall from your eyes from the pleasure. Oh there was nothing more than he adored than seeing you under him, falling apart so beautifully. And there was nothing more he loved hearing than your cute sounds, all the moans and whines and whimpers. Your adorable little pleas for him to stop being so mean.

You were just so his.

“You’re just too cute… filthy too huh? Letting me fuck you like this.” He laughed a little, as if he wasn’t drunk off of you entirely. He kissed your tears and moved his hips more harshly, letting you wrap your arms around his neck to keep him close. He was so close, he was so fucking close. He can’t even remember how many times the both of you came, he knew he should’ve been more gentle but god, you were like wine he wanted to indulge himself in every night.

He let out muffled groans into your neck, covered with love bites and marks from his relentless attacks and teases earlier. 

“D-Dazai…” You whimpered, your voice slightly hoarse from how much you were raising it earlier. It was the only thing you knew how to say at this point besides please and yes.

“G-God, fuck.. say that I’m yours.. You already know you’re mine. Please say that I’m yours..” He moaned, biting down on your neck. ‘Just a little more..’ He thought, but he didn’t even realize the words coming out like you did. But that’s all you’ve been wanting to say, you were just waiting for the right moment.

“You’re mine Dazai, fuck me like it.” You let out a small gasp before you yelped and felt him slam harder into you. You cling onto him tightly, one hand gripping his hair while the other scratched at the bandages wrapping his back. 

“C-Cumming..!” You both whined, before reaching your orgasms at the same time. His body collapsed onto you with him still inside, his cock twitching as he fills you up. You both pant, holding onto each other tightly, exhausted.

“So…” Dazai says after a couple moments of silence, wincing a little before pulling out. “First and only yeah?”

“First and only.”

dividers : @/cafekitsune

#. . . words of the crimson moon —✫・゜・。. #dazai smut #dazai x reader #bsd smut #bsd x reader #IDK IF YOU CAN TELL BUT I LIKE WRITING FOR DAZAI A LOT <3 #i had a lot of fun with this request #i like writing dazai pathetic and mean and and and #gn reader #the ending couldve been better tho i know :(

[brookheimer]

jesus christ i am incapable of being concise. but yall asked for a long shiv take so really this one's on you >:)

#someone: what did you think about ___? me: glad you asked. so basically [500000 word essay] #tl;dr did not like the shiv ending but i WOULD have liked it were it better built up to and developed but as it is it just feels forced and #rushed -- forgoing realistic character development/continuity in characterization in order to get shiv to the place they wanted her to #which COULDVE BEEN DONE AND DONE WELL had there been more time allotted to ya know. getting her there. not just woop! shiv now is able to #subject herself to indignity when it means future potential for power! even tho her fatal flaw has literally always been her inability to d #that! #like ok ideally there would've been some time in between ken vote and shiv return to tom. she would not ever NEVER be able to #stifle her anger that quickly and play the good wife so immediately. she would take a few days THEN maybe come back to access his power -- #and that's a MAYBE #she would need to find a way that worked for her ie wouldn't make her look as pathetic and weak and humiliated and Woman as the current #outcome does. she would neeever willingly let herself look that vulnerable and pathetic and failed esp when it's related to men #ok i've talked enough about this for now i need to shut up LOL #succession #succession spoilers #casey shut the fuck up about shiv roy

[mxbitters]

i think star darlings was a really like solid idea for a doll line but i really wish they were more like successful so they could’ve made more dolls bc like.. theyre supposed to be the 12 zodiac signs so it’s just kinda sad that idk if they even did six of them

#like i know 12 main characters is a lot but dude.. more aries please :( #i never read the books even though ik theyre the main thing #but i will say that the youtube series is kind of horrible #like. the only doll i have is sage but most of the girls are like bruuuutally mean #like i think only scarlet and maybe libby are forgivable. and maybe piper just bc she had no personality whatsoever #seriously though they bullied the shit out of the definitely queer emo girl and the hyperfeminine boy crazy girl so like #which one is it yk? #i think the dolls couldve definitely been better with diversity tho like.. #and that couldve been solved if they made more dolls!!! #like..tessa and gemma?? #mind you i only just learned those names now because they basically Do Not Exist #idk dude but those dolls wouldve been so good :( #anyway i dont know that much about the circumstances of them ending but im blaming disney bc it's disney

[caruliaa]

was lied to again by ppl w pretty good too ehh parents into thinking dynasty rina sawayama was abt shitty parents and not generational trauma, SAD! well theres my tears ricochet

#listen if ur never wanted to end ur life bc of ur parents good for u babes more than good for you infact. #but please never recommend me a song about parents or family again unless u do nott relate to it but know i will #anyway ! back to tswift songs about the trauma of being a young person mistreated nd manipulated by those older than u ! #anyway what was that i said the other day. i dont what penelope scott feel better but abt parents #i want tswift wouldve couldve shouldve but abt parents . thank u very muchh #umm. #suicidal ideation mention #ask 2 tag #flappy rambles #edit: looking thru the spotify playlists to deal w this uuhh generational trauma is the same as wht ur going thru right bs #found one with your not sorry and 1 step forward 3 steps back. somone gets itt !!! #also i feel kinda mean bc idk if anyone ever directly recomended me dynasty as a song id relate to and if they did i dont blame them #for not knowing exactly what iv been thru but god did u all give me the impression tht the song was abt shitty parents !!! #shitty is an understatment. but maybe if u didnt all go 'she shldnt say she glad her mom died tho' in response to jennette mcurdy last year #i wld feel comfortable using the actual word i want to to describe them w ppl that arent just luce. just a thought !!!! #god im being bitter for no reason. sorryy. but also im not

[spro-o]

okay, so,,, i got back to reading 4kota, and i have so many thoughts of literally every nature

SPOILERS AHEAD FOR 4KOTA, NATURALLY!

okay so, allow me to rant a lil

bro why the actual fuck is Arthur just magical hitler now?? 😭 like hello???? it genuinely makes me really sad because he was such a sweet and likable character for most of 7ds and now he wants to create an ethnostate for humans only???? it just breaks my heart, man

SAME WITH JERICHO LIKE HELLO? QUEEN, YOURE BETTER THAN THIS. genuinely tho- nakaba try not to make all your characters pedos challenge (impossible). there are literally so many other ways in which Jericho could have ended up in a similar situation, but nakaba really just chose pedophilia? it couldve been something along the same lines just without the romantic attraction!! a family bond can be just as strong- and it couldve been something like her losing Lancelot or in some other way letting him down, and then thinking that he despises her and holds onto that grudge (which, judging his character it wouldve probably been a small spat that he got over) - but maybe Jericho didnt understand that, or wasnt ready to face him, expecting him to be livid - so she asked for an alternative reality where that didnt happen and they got along great as sister/brother or master/trainee. i wouldnt put Jericho past being so stubborn that she wouldnt believe when Lance would say that he forgave her, and then boom!! same set-up, just without the nasty pedophilia!!

ON THE NOTE OF WHICH- (theres so much of that garbage in nakaba's writing, fucks sake) - i genuinely hate the whole thing happening with Guinevere. the whole non-consensual kiss from a 12 year old to a 16 year old (ewwwww) is one thing, but then when Lance is reflecting on that interaction and he SMILES????

you have no idea how much this panel killed me to see. Lancelot youre better than this,,,, 4 years is not a big age difference when youre in your 30's, but when youre 16???? please,,,, cmon now,,,

speaking of whommmmm~~ ,,, I ADORE LANCELOT!! SO MUCH!! this is to be expected considering i love Ban, bUT- hes genuinely just such a cool and wonderful character that has some sense in him. i especially loved those panels where he was like jumping around to get himself hyped up cuz like!! Ban does that!!!! i love,,,,

elizabeth (looking gorge btw, i love that for her) is unfortunately reduced to an object of fondling yet again 😔 literally like the second panel that shes in and shes getting grabbed and groped by Meliodas?? it just feels mad disrespectful to her really deep character that she has such a minor role when you ignore her being sexualised by Mel (in reality nakaba, but i digest)

i love that panel where Anne tells Isolde about what chastity actually is hbghjnhbjh

I FEEL SO BAD FOR NASIENS WHEN PERCY IS ALL UP IN ANNES BOOBS. genuinely- the dropped bag, and all of he blushing that happened before it during their interactions,,,, that shit broke my heart, man

nakaba try not to draw teenagers naked challenge (impossible) (chapter 86 cover)

this is literally like the cutest fucking thing ever????? i want more calm, slice of life stuff for our skrunglies. they deserve a break

someone, please, stop all this shit going on with Guinevere (writing this while reading chp 87) – I really despise the fact that nakaba has to make like literally all of the relationships either look like they have a massive age gap (Ban and Elaine), or actually have a fucking criminal age gap (Mel and Ellie). it really is not that difficult to just write a relationship where there is a <2 year age gap, did you know that, nakaba?? crazy, I know (deadass, while I don’t ship them, it would at least be bearable if she was also like 15-16, just not 12 TT)

chion is such a fucking pain in the ass oh mah gahhhhhh

I love Gawain’s lesbian antics <3

At this point, though I love seeing the characters interact in more casua circumstances, id rather have more fight scenes than god awful, shoe-horned romances between any two characters of the opposite gender (exceptions being Nasiens and Gawain, my sillies <3)

okay,,, thats it for now, but do expect more at some point or another huiyuvghbijhb

#4kota spoilers #4kota #mokushiroku no yonkishi #nnt #rant #4kota manga #lancelot 4kota #tristan 4kota #percival #lancelot #guinevere #gawain #spoilers

[ppnuggie]

hello theree i just discovered ur blog n i love all ur fics sm! u umm i was wondering if i could possibly rq bayverse drift where he's very loving/protective of fem human reader bc she once tended his wounds/saved him when he was injured? just cute fluffy stuff idk if this makes sense ashwsjjs hes my fav but i cant find much fics of him so</3 ty in advance and take care!💕

　　　　　　DRIFT x fem human reader

　　　　『　drift ,, female human reader 』

　　-> drift n his gf being lovey n stuff <3

　　— fluff ,, sfw ,, comfort ,, injuries mention + tending

　　— here you go :D tysm tho ! 🥹 im rlly glad you like my works <3 this one has been sitting in my box for a while 😵‍💫 finally got to it ,, so sorry about how late it is 🙏

green liquid splattered against your hands ,, his energon staining your skin as you tended to his latest injury. your lover had got caught in a fight with crosshairs ,, a fight that went a little too far as they both ended up with a little more than paint chipping.

a sigh of disapproval came from you as you shook your head in disappointment. “ honestly drift ,, you know better than to let crosshairs get to you ,, and this latest fight between you two couldve gotten worse.” your eyes held worry within them as your green stained hands reached up to cup the blue bot’s cheeks. the metal under your touch was slightly warm ,, optics gazing down at your small form.

“ i understand ,,” was all he said as his optics kept their gaze with your eyes. you pouted a bit ,, eyes squinted as you looked over your lover’s features. your glance casted to the side before you went back to patching him up. thoughts raced in your mind as you wondered what good it’d do to scold him. its not like he’d listen any time soon.

with the cut in his armor repaired ,, drift’s servo wrapped around your waist as he hauled you up to his chassis. the big bot had set aside his sword as he held you close to him. the living metal underneath you had warmed your chilled body ,, eyes looking up at drift. he only offered a small smile before pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. “ you worry too much ,,” he insisted.

your cheeks puffed a bit in embarrassment ,, looking away from his soft optics. “ i just care about you thats all .” he gave a light chuckle before his digit moved your head so you’d only see him. “ thank you ,,” he whispered out ,, metal heating up more underneath you. you gave a soft kiss to his digit as you said nothing more ,, relishing the bot before you.

#transformers x reader #x reader #x female reader #x fem!reader #robot x reader #robot x human #bayverse #transformers bayverse #transformers drift #drift #drift x reader #bayverse drift #bayverse drift x reader #🏙.drift #🏙.bayverse

[tequiilasunriise]

WEDNESDAY SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT BC I JUST FINISHED:

-literally threw UP at every Male Love Interest Interaction, Enid making out with Ajax? Literally was enough to make me settle Wenclair as sunk LIKE IT WAS T H A T BAD AND IVE BEEN A HYPED WENCLAIR WARRIOR SINCE AUGUST

-THAT BEING SAID OH MY GOD WE WERE RIGHT WITH ENID TRANSFORMING AND PROTECTING WEDNESDAY LIKE A TOTAL BADASS

-Backtracking a lot,,, that wink Enid gave Wednesday in episode two made my heart ascend. So many Wenclair crumbs in ep 2

-I’m really glad Tyler was the killer bc it gave him some depth, like I kept hating him fer NOT GETTING THE HINT AND LEAVING WEDNESDAY ALONE but looking back his insistence on being close to her was more akin to manipulating her so he wont be suspected so im glad he got interesting near the end

-IM SO CURIOUS ON BIANCA’S BACKGROUND ARGAHRHH SEASON TWO TELLL MMEEE MOREEE I LOVE HER SO MUCH

-My heart broke when Eugene got attacked, even before Wednesday declared it I could tell she looked out after him bc he reminded her of Pugsley

-But when he expressed interest in Enid? Fucken Wednesday did not HESITATE to tell him his shot was less than one percent LIKE DAMNNN GIRLIE jealous much?

-“he breaks your heart, I’ll nail his” Wednesday ur so in love u dumbass, literally the first day u met this girl u supposedly hated u end up telling her your most vulnerable secret (crying for Nero)?

-Wednesday fell first, Enid fell harder Truthers rise UPPPP

-Enid walking out of the woods covered in blood and wounds from a super traumatic experience, first thing she asks is, “Where’s Wednesday?” Maam, are you aware how much she means to you?

-Talking to the taxidermed squirrel about how much you’ll miss it rather than directly speaking to Wednesday? Gay gay homosexual gay behavior

-Xavier,,,, no. You’re better than this, like cmon dude. Stop trying so fucken hard and take the hint, LIKE U DONT EVEN HAVE A GOOD REASON LIKE TYLER TO KEEP STICKINNG AROUND

-WHAT CHEMISTRY? WHERE?

-I demand more Yoko screentime.

-Still giggling on Enid wrecking Tyler’s Hyde ass in order to protect Wednesday like she fucken JUMPKICKED HIM and proceeded to maul him fer hurting her best friend totally

-Wenclair’s break up was so necessary tho like ARGH YES ENID STAND UP FER URSELF AND TELL WEDNESDAY SHE KEEPS FUCKING OVER UR BOUNDARIES

-I will give Xavier credit fer calling out Wednesday as toxic BUT he literally couldve stopped getting involved like WHY were u at the Gates Mansion that night its so,,,, weird

-Speaking of the Gates Mansion, LOVED Wednesday’s little stare when Enid busted the door open when Tyler couldnt, fucken gay gay homosexual gay

-Wednesday in general was so cute with her gift of the snood Enid made her, instead of outright speaking her mind that she dislikes the gift, she tries to compromise with a, “lets save this for a special occasion, like a funeral”

-Small moments where Wednesday is clearly softer fer Enid SUPREMACYYYY

-Another good example was even back in episode two where they ran with the flag together and Wednesday let Enid touch her and wrap an arm around her shoulders and shit as Enid cheered it was SO cute

-Wednesday’s bigass smile when Fester appeared??? I love Fester in general but ARGH I love their bond

-Also love Wednesday’s evolution with her relationship with Thing and his death scene??? Like Enid slayed with telling Wednesday to treat him better i swear Wenclair are just SO GOOD FER EACH OTHER

-SO MUCH MORE CHEMISTRY THAN THEIR MALE LOVE INTERESTS

-Enid’s parents weren’t exactly what we were expecting but they still sucked (yes by just standing there and letting his daughter constantly be shit on by her mom Enid’s dad still sucked a little) and I was a ‘Enid is an only child’ truther but slay guess she has brothers

-There’s SO MUCH to talk about bc this show had its ups and downs,,, but we all know the crowning moment of the show. The Hug™️. Jenna Ortega is praised fer her ability to convey so much emotion with her eyes, and GODDAMNIT THAT ENTIRE HUG SCENE WAS SO SOFT AND TENDER AND PERFECT IN EVERY ASPECT THAT BODY LANGUAGE FUCKEN KILLED ME ESP WITH WEDNESDAY’S WIDE EYED EXPRESSION FROM SHOCK TO TOTAL REALIZATION THAT SHE COULDVE LOST ENID AND IS CLINGING ON FER DEAR LIFE MY GOD I COULDNT HAVE IMAGINED A BETTER HUG SCENE

-The way Wednesday walks kinda pressed up to Enid as she talks about visiting her in San Fran,,, yeah your honor theyre in love and Hunter was right, we beed to fight fer Wenclair I DONT CARE ABOUT AJAX X ENID BEING CANON I DONT CARE ABOUT XAVIERS ASS WENCLAIR ALL THE WAYYY BABBYYY

#i will have a more coherent spoilers post later #but rn im just looping THAT scene over and over again #the music. god. #wenclair nation took some Ls but by GOD did we take some fat Ws too #still believe in #greek enid supremacy #the plot twist was a little easy to predict but I still adored it #wenclair #wednesday addams #enid sinclair #bianca barclay #tyler galpin #xavier thorpe #not gonna tag all of them so yeah #wenclair warriors rise up

[mulletmitsuya]

Idk if anyone already replied but I love giving my opinion on tokrev lmao about the ending I liked it it was a happy ending but it couldve 100% been better for sure. I'm glad with what we got tho but I think they couldve definetely done more with hanma for example but yeah. Its fine

I dont think there's a ship everyone loves but I hate? Some people like kakucho and izana I don't like that one theyre more like siblings to me tbh

I also dont have one that I love that everyone hates BUT I do have some that hardly anyone ships like senju and yuzuha or angry and takuya (I might be alone on that one lmao)

This is my problem with it lol I wish it was fleshed out! I don't think I would have been as angry as I am now if we got to this ending with a detailed explanation of how we got there but alas, we only got 5 chapters. 😔 And yeah the extremely violent and mentally disturbed kids just being perfectly functioning adults also kinda made me a bit confused (not the ones who's trauma was either fixed or prevented by Mikey and Takemitchy, i'm saying the ones who are just like that. say the Haitani's, Hanma, Shion etc). Hanma's just chilling? With no murderous intent🤔? Hmm.

Also I think it's very 50/50 with viewing Izana and Kakucho relationship as either romantic or more sibling coded. I spoke about my interpretation of it with @davishater and I think it's more one sided if we're talking about the romance aspect. I think Kakucho holds Izana on a pedestal and basically views him as a god of sorts. I think Kakucho views him as more than a friend or older brother (not necessarily lover) because he "saved" him. Their relationship is actually so complex and complicated and dare I say toxic because of the extreme difference in power dynamics. Izana obviously loves Kakucho deerly but doesn't know what to do with said love because you can't give what you never got right? Idk if he views him as a little brother but imo I don't think Izana's romantically interest in Kakucho. Also, he's 18 and Kaku's 14 so💀.

I like Yuzuha and Senju a lot actually. They've never met but I'm interested in the dynamics there. And I've never heard of Takuya and Angry but I see the vision somehow. Now I kinda wish they had canon interactions😭.

#ty for the ask <3 #this was fun actually idk why i stress so much when i get asks #tokyo revengers #tokrev #tokyo revengers ending #kakucho x izana #tokyo revengers manga

[wodnes--coyotl]

the unfortunate news was given that my dad's chemo probably isn't working so he "might" have to do 30 day "isolation chemo" (?) which sounds horrible and scary. I want to visit him then if so... I don't want him to be alone for 30 days. I'm terrified he will be abusive to me.

when my mother died, she couldn't hurt me, even though I was terrified to see her. seeing her helpless body waste away from cancer was traumatizing but also released any fear I ever had of her, even though the memory of her abuse will always live in me.

my dad was not abusive like she was but sometimes i think he is worse for ever enabling her to be around me, ever choosing to "raise" a kid with her, comparatively, she had much less choice in her actions than he did.

i dont know what it means or if it will help. i didnt think these chemo rounds would help... i never thought my dad would get better... but hearing the advancing news doesn't help.

especially after watching someone's long term dying lead to hospice and then death and how irreverently it was handled, in this household (my partner's grandmother).

my dad will lose whatever hair he has left and im sure will look unrecognizable in a way.

whatever anger or apathy i have to combat my sense of obligation that shouldnt even really exist... i feel for him. im scared for him. i dont want him to suffer, and i dont know if it's worth going through.

i dont want to sway his decision, im positive he will die from this either way. i dont want to lose time with him, but ive already lost time. he's had 30 years to fix this and he hasnt...

i dont know if i can physically handle the grief of seeing him this way.

he always sounds livelier over the phone than he is, but... he didn't watch his parents die this way.

i will lose both of my parents to horrible forms of cancer (i mean, they're all horrible). at least Gene froze to death and it shocked everyone and he didn't suffer.

we've been iced in for a week here in p0rtland, and i got money back that i "owed" to unemployment when gene died. it felt like, after 3 years, he was helping me,... of all times to get the money back now... itll help me move out of my in laws... but a horrible thought happened... what if it's because my dad is going to go sooner than we thought?

i cant decide, anyways, and ocd is a bitch.

my back is killing me from days of making music and trying to learn mixing and mastering and animation and editing just for the fuck of it to stay sane, entirely diy.

today i cant focus, anymore... im listening to david bowie and crying alone and listening to my stupid in laws talking in the kitchen. i cant mourn here because this is a house of narcissism and enabling. hell, someone DIED in THEIR family and THEY wont/cant even mourn.

if my dad doesnt take the chemo, he will continue to failingly rely on his weekly (or more) blood transfusions. and eventually, he will die. maybe he will choose that to spare himself, and in a way, i almost wish he would, but i cant say i really wish that, ... i wish he was a better father, i wish he didnt have cancer even if he is 73, i dont wish him a sudden death bc itd be jarring but a long way is almost worse. i dont know what i want. i wish he couldve ever cared for me so that i could care for him. but what happened is he didnt care for me, and i care, but i cant care FOR him. i cant fix this. i cant love or unlove or hurt or unhurt it away.

when he dies i will not have any family left.

and then some part of me will be released from this burden of grieving a family that was always "dead" to me, but now, permanently, which will just feel fucked up.

ive spent 3 years grieving mom and gene. then i will grieve him too. when will it fucking end

in spite of this i have to work hard to perservere bc its what gene would want. its what my dad would want even tho fuck what he wants. its what *i* would want if i was diagnosed with cancer tomorrow myself or in 40 years. im terrified.

im tired.

im so goddamn tired

[nekomoder]

Making a small post on the orbs and other stuff between posting art (i dont remember where i got this pic but it’s useful)

I’ve been seeing orbs after my last episode in december i usually see them in the corners of my eyes and get scared and they disappear quickly, maybe i should be more kind to them and they would interact with me, one i’ve been seeing a lot of big red orbs and that time they were right in front of me. The last orb i saw was a small brown one (today)

About mental health:

I’m visiting psychiatrist again tomorrow i dont know how it will go but i hope it goes well, i need to refill my meds anyway. Im scared to tell her about all the symptoms. I have thoughts in my head that arent mine sometimes and thats bothering me unlike orbs even tho they scare me, too. I dont have intense symptoms like i did in December. But it couldve been better. Maybe i will make a post on things that happened in december. I got a disability not so long ago so i will be getting some payments

About good things:

It will be birthday on the 25th and i will be seeing my boyfriend finally, i’m really happy about this. I hope we have fun together. And my favorite musician released a 9 hour album (you may or may not know who i am talking about)

This ended up being not exactly a small post. I hope everyone is having a nice spring🍀

#text #schizophrenia #blog

[upsidedowngrass]

do you think liam and stone would be friends if they ever met outside of The Plane again

HMM!!!

(put under a readmore cus i ended up talking a LOT lol :) )

i think they could be friends!!! i think stone liked the contestants. while im pretty sure stone picked liam to give the notes to 1) because he is a backpack. he can hold notes. and 2) he seems the MOST stubborn of all of the contestants, so think compared to the chance for things to end well (or at least, the best they COULD end), liam was the best bet to pick thru all possible courses of action

but even outside of that stone generally seems to like them all, helping bryce when he didnt need to, visibly looking guilty for having to sabotage amelia, etc. i think they showed liam one of the notes bc they WANTED him to understand that theyre trying to help, and i think there was a chance hed understand, but he just happened to Not. with everything we know abt stone (which unfortunately isnt much), he looks like he WANTS to help them because he cares, and i think they wouldve liked to be friends with them, and to have met all of them under better circumstances. (he obv knows about the concept of friends because he knows everything, but i think they dont really get many opportunities to meet New people given. being from a world of Just rocks) point is that i think stone would love to be friends w liam!!

whether or not LIAM would wanna b friends is a diff question tho. liam doesnt seem like the type of guy whod necessarily hold anything against stone, since he gradually seems to respect stone more and more as he follows the notes, but i think there Could be some discomfort there. if stone hadnt written the notes, he never wouldve gone to bryce, he never wouldve died a bunch more times, and he never wouldve gotten stuck in airys world. but then again, if they hadnt written them, if airy had still died, all of the contestants couldve been trapped on the plane literally forever, and julien wouldve been stuck in the waiting room forever

i think liam would still think about stone pretty fondly, and historically he hasnt really been concerned about 'people who could remind him of his time on the plane, but 'well this person reminds me of my time on the plane' given everything with bryce, but during all that he was still very much. not in the mentality of being at home. (after he got home, he seems to REALLY still feel stuck on the plane, esp if what he says to bryce is anything to go off of) it could be very different once hes home, and because? i think stone ended up kinda STILL being with him thru s2, just symbolically. so i think it could be complicated for liam

but all of this aside? i think any discomfort he may feel would maybe be set to the side. liams pretty passive by nature, and i think being able to be friends with stone would actually kinda end up giving him a sense of closure about some things!!! most of his interactions with stone WERE somewhat strained, but i think liam wouldnt rly even think abt that

i dunno!!! but i think theyd make good friends if they had the opportunity to meet again. liam makes conversation pretty easy when he wants to, even though its not smth he especially goes out of his way to do, but i think when he would like to he can be VERY annoying abt it. if he wanted some level of Knowing stone, because i think it could be Nice to have stone be less of this ominous figure whos motives werent super clear but did ultimately help (assuming in this hypothetical he and stone meet again on earth, but i think in airys world stone could be. actually pretty nice for him to meet again? dont know!) and instead this Person who helped him and his friends, he would be a bit stubborn about it, and maybe a bit awkward about it, but i think stone would be okay with it. stone seems very 'reluctantly WILL do things for the greater good but would like to do helpful things that DONT make people upset instead. wants to just get along with people but just ISNT in a situation where they can' and also generally patient (i think they have to be patient given the world theyre from) so i think itd work out!!!!

anyway this post is long and idrk how clear it is BUT its fun to think abt!!!! idk how liam would get the chance to meet stone again but i would LOVE if it did happen

#hfjone #ask #i actually sometimes consider the idea of all of the stones in stones world functioning as a hivemind #and stone being teleported out didnt so much as sever that but that if this was the case maybe? he still had the information they always wi #but made them smth of an offshoot of the hivemind but not separated from it. like a new mushroom #and i think that would make stone have a complex idea of having friends but thats an inherently very interconnected existence #but thats not really relevant to this post #well it kinda is but not super relevant #also sidenote that i was somewhat confused for a while on why stone is so big compared to the rocks in their world #but also batch 2 commenting on some of them being larger than they are in their own world implies that being sent to the plane #kinda like. scales ppl? #and also gives them a general form that may be a bit divorced from what they look like in their own world #like w texty being outside of their 'body' (aka laptop) #so i think. stone on earth? might be a bit tiny. w no limbs #since the stones in his world dont have any. and also i think the eyes r figurative and they dont literally have them #whenn the flashlight shows all of them?? #so stone might literally just end up looking like a random rock if they were on earth #but i gotta think abt that more #ok im getting off track #TY for the ask i love an opportunity to talk abt stone i wish we knew more abt him #for a while stone was my 2nd fav!!! now its amelia (who had been 3rd) but stone is STILL means so much to me

[cosmosees]

Zetto and/or Kizuna for the character ask?

once again for this...i shall take more if anyone wants to send

under the a cut once again!

ZETTO:

favorite thing about them: when i was a kid the kirb/zetto twist did genuinely make me insane. in a good way. i think hes a really fascinating character in his like...Mentality Switches between personas yk. guy whos a jerk in a funny way vs guy who just actually sucks

least favorite thing about them: honestly i wish it was just made more clear during like episode zero or smth what his stance in sofdti as like....a living thang was? not that it would matter much in the grand scheme of his development but idk kizuna said some SHIT yk

favorite line: id probably say like...a lot of stuff from the nylocke battle in the gemini tournament. absolute lowest point of that guy its really interesting. (obligatory MY ARM AAAAAGHHHHH mention purely because holy shit he was screaming)

brotp: HIM AND GAMESOFT oh my godd them together. aughh. the only two guys who Know the guys who can talk abt shit and he can be sad. solace in understanding and so on

otp: i know its basic but like....alphazet mannn. everything abt the two of them was PAINFULLY gay and its honestly kind of funny kirb (the guy not the character) didnt notice. runner up is him and nylocke becahse i just think they are silly and funny

notp: i dont really have anyone with him that i actively LOATHE but i think its probbably him and kizuna. putting my personal gay zetto hc aside i think theyd both be wayy too codependent unless they got like. therapy. i know a lot of what ive been saying so far makes it sound like i hate kizuna but i dont i PROMISE

random headcanon: i feel like postseries hed find a way to set gs up with a virtual machine desktop of her own so her knowledge of the world can extend beyond what she knows in tome. they spend time bonding over computer science n junk :)

unpopular opinion: im honestly never good at this part but as an adult with better drawing skills now...i actually like drawing his hair

song i associate with them: zetto was never someone i had much of a playlist for back in the day so i had to scrounge a bit but i think i found something satisfactory

favorite picture of them:

KIZUNA:

favorite thing about them: REALLY underrated secondary antagonist, interesting moral code, she has insane girlie guilt over her actions that doesnt get explored enough.....and shes a kitty cat :)

least favorite thing about them: her arc in the original series was like...a little inconclusive? i wish she couldve come to terms with sofdtis sentience and whatnot. the trajectory of a2z is changing her in a way im really liking so far though! im excited to see where she goes

favorite line: that whole rant at the tail end of the series where shes just like. a bunch of people she cared about almost died and she was freaking the fuck out. it hurts....i love her she needs THERAPYY

brotp: she doesnt get to interact with too many characters during the series but in my perfect world i think shed be chill with demonking. dont question my madness i know im right

otp: re the previous answer she doesnt interact with a lot of characters, on this note Especially im hesitant to give a definitive answer but i think if her parallels with flamey were more explored...in my perfect world.........theyd work so spicily

notp: same as zetto but also tacking gs onto this. less out of kizunas ability to see her as a person currently and more that in the future if/when she does end up coming around i do feel like gs would still be hurt by it. theyd be buddies tho:)

random headcanon: with the rpg version of tigerlily i sometimes wish that series kizuna had like...a secret lil roleplay presence. not necessarily on tome itself but she has to cool of SOMEHOW right. she made an anime catgirl avatar i KNOW she has thoughts about that shit

unpopular opinion about them: kizuna is probably the most divisive character ive done for this so far...all i can really say is like...i joke about supporting womens wrongs and stuff but i think introspectively she does have a lot of potential as a character that we dont see a lot of because most of the scenes with her are from zettos perspective. AGAIN tho im reallly liking where a2z is taking her so far i hope i get more scraps

song i associate with them: much like zetto she wasnt someone i had playlists for back in the day however unlike zetto i have the PERFECT one for her. nonexistent meet-cute (idlyam) by vylet pony.... feeling it

favorite picture of them:

#terrain of magical expertise #zetto tome #kizuna tome #cosmo.txt

[ashtraysystem]

y'alllll I just remembered some family tea!!!

so its well known by me and my siblings that our one aunt, lets call her aunt dip since that was and is her nickname (short for dipshit lol), is not a good person. she's the kind of person who only ever comes to you if she wants something out of you. Since we moved out of state she's only ever contacted us on holidays, expecting gifts in return for her literally /shitty/ gifts. One year she got us one of those "haha silly its a shitty present" toilet paper gag gifts that you give for like, white elephant stuff. not to mention the random treats she'll send over despite knowing we throw them away every single time bc dad, hell even sib4, can make much higher quality stuff!

All this foreward to say, gramma seems to finally be understanding that aunt dip has been using her. aunt dip uses her as free babysitting for their dogs whenever they go out, even though her eldest tends to choose to stay home and could easily watch over the dogs himself.

Aunt dip got my gramma a thing of macarons. nice right? my grandma loves france and finds it beautiful, loves paris. thing is, my grandma doesnt like macarons. she likes sweets but she's not a decadent sweets person, she's a very down to earth, homemade treats person. and like. everyone knows this.

so my gramma sent in the partial family group chat (my mom, aunt gay, aunt gay's second child, and aunt j. they all do wordle together) the picture of the macarons saying "she thinks i like these"

smh aunt dip, you'd think with how much you use my gramma you would at least know she values experiences with you over gifts, let alone gifts she has no interest in.

it may seem like i'm being harsh on aunt dip, but its for good reason. she's never truly been nice to me, my family, or even her own husband and kids. she's always comparing us kids like "oh whos the better more successful child?" (at this point its me and i know how to play her games and one up her every time, tho its still not fair to her son). she's straight up lied to my mom about something as important as a pregnancy before, where my mom wanted to make sure the same thing didnt happen with my sibling that happened with me and my cousin, in that we were born so close together that everyone compared our progress to each other. my aunt ended up having her child ~4 MONTHS before my mom had my sibling. meaning my aunt KNEW she was pregnant, couldve warned my mom who asked her point blank, and she didnt until after my mom announced her pregnancy.

#sorry thats so long im just so done with her #vent #rant #cole🥾 #family vent #family rant

[dulcewrites]

The corpose bride au coming soon? 👀 What you wrote was really sweet but tragic!

I was just thinking about how can I make them (fmo reader and Aemond) tragic but with a twist. The possibility of her marry someone other than Aemond has came up (Aegon in particular). But like how better off, as a woman in the realm (one with money but nonetheless a woman), would she truly be. Alicent is basically a case study of you can be in the “best” position in the realm and still go through insanely horrible shit (tw for mentions of pregnancy problems)

- reader still goes to court with her family BUT her and Helaena do not become close. They are cordial but nowhere near how they are in fmo. Then reader is not pseudo intergrated into the family pre marriage. There is no Helaena dropping hints that it would be great to have reader as a sister

- her parents set their sights on somewhere else. A house that can bring something to the table (This has me thinking, like yeah reader’s kids being targs and having dragons is a big deal for their house but outside of that… Aemond is a second son. Reader wouldn’t be getting anything else outside of her kid’s possibly having dragons)

- she gets married off to some old Grafton lord. She’s his third wife by this point. He’s clearly not a good man but he’s loaded and so far has only had girls between his first two marriages.

- things are ok at first. Reader isn’t miserable which she considers a win (poor thing the bar is so low). It’s not until her first miscarriage that things start to get bad. The stress of carrying to term is putting too much stress on her body

- by three years in she’s had three pregnancies but only one baby born. Her little girl. She’s of course happy bc she feels like she’s built her own little family even if her husband sucks. But her husband wants a boy, and despite the signs that reader’s body can’t do it. She gets pregnant again. Y’all can probably guess what happens next

- much like the first ep of hotd, she goes into labor, something goes wrong and her husband essentially sacrifices her for a boy. So now her baby girl and boy are raised by a loser father (shoutout to rhaenyra)

- now onto Aemond. He’s unmarried, still a loner loser (affectionately tho). Viserys dies, and Otto sends him off to storm’s end to secure more allies and a wife. We know what happens lmao. It’s so hard being a one eyed sexy dragon riding Prince with manic tendencies 🙏🏽

- nervous to face his family after what happened, he takes a detour. Ends up taking a turn instead back home towards the Crownlands. gives Vhagar a stern talking to (in meemaw’s head she’s like ‘but visenya I helped you???’). He begins to wander a bit into the woods of some place he clearly doesn’t recognize.

- Aemond had a sapphire ring. As nervous tick, he plays with it. While he drops it, he’s going over his head all things he could say his mom to make things better. “I love you, I’m sorry this happened” etc. Now our reader ever the romantic, and maybe a bit delusional, hears that and is like well ok 🤓😍 thinking this is all for her!

- reader takes him away, we will pull from the movie and say she takes him to the land of the dead. Aemond is like nah babes you’re hot for a dead girl BUT I can’t marry you.. I’m like.. living. Reader is like that can be changed, if you stay down here long enough. Or if you stab yourself or something (now this triggers him considering recent events💀)

- they end up talking about how they ended up there. Aemond reveals he never meant for the luke thing to happened. Like yeah he hates the kid and probably always will but that was NOT how that was supposed to go down. I think he’d super broken up about how he once again gonna painted as the bad guy.. when HE was the one that lost his eye. He probably talks about how much couldve been avoided with a better father. Reader talks about her marriage (Aemond feels extra bad bc she’s giving him the Alicent sad eyes plus her story (being married off young and maritally raped) is giving his mother)

- for a moment, Aemond thinks maybe being dead and her husband wouldn’t be so bad. He even wonders how his life would’ve been if he noticed her while she was at court 👀

- she realizes that Aemond is someone’s kid. What good is her taking him from his mom and family who need him. reader agrees to help him get to where he needs to go, if he makes it so she can see her kids one last time. Aemond is like “I’ll do you one better” he’s already gonna be considered a kinslayer.. what’s one more body at this point.

- in the end, Aemond goes back home. The only person who ends knowing about what really happened with Luke is reader. Things go about the way they do in the dance.. I like to think Aemond and her meet up in the afterword after the battle above the god’s eye (let’s pretend Aemond didn’t kill a bunch of people and they are going to the same place 🙏🏽). Probably further bond on leaving their kids behind :((((

#omg imagine Vhagar being like… where’s visenya now 😭😭 #fmo aus

[thekaijudude]

Do you have any head-canons or thoughts about certain events throughout all the Ultra Galaxy Fight series that could have been different?

oh i believe I answered this before for all installments before tho it was shortly after the end of each installment so it has been quite some time

To summarize:

For UGF1, the series couldve further expanded upon UDK himself (since hes literally the main villain) and take out Dark Lugiel and Etalgar as they couldve been better used in UGF3.

Since its essentially an installment made for the NGH, they shouldve focused on building UDK as a strong villain in and of itself, similar to his pachinko counterpart, as he was waaaay too weak compared to that.

Basically bringing his other abilities in such as his 3 other forms, Dark Killer clones and actually managing to create all the copies of the Darkness Ultras.

The first 1-2 episodes could briefly cover his fight with the Ultra Brothers (similar to the 1st season of the pachinko series), then subsequently being revived and have his powers limited by Toregia as we saw in UGF1, but gaining additional powers such as being able to create Darkness copies. Also being able to adapt to the New Gen's fighting style, he also manages to evolve into his other forms as seen in season 2 before ending when the Ultra Brothers are share their energy with the New Gen when UDK evolves into Dark Killer Delta and becomes too strong for them to handle, rather than just making Ginga stand out and now it looks more like a proper "passing of the torch" ceremony of the Ultra Brothers to the NGH

For UGF2, tbh the changes I wouldve made is closely tied to UGF3 since it concerns the Absolutians as a whole so Ill talk about it in general first. So while the introduction of the Absolutians was definitely a very refreshing expansion to the lore (since the Ultra race are too dominant in terms of power and numbers in the Multiverse), they simply lack the numbers to actually have a real plan against the current repertoire of Ultras. Even with 3 Elite Absolutians and even if u wank them each to be equal to 2 Ultra Brothers (or 20 000 NG), while they could easily sweep all the NGH and Heisei roster (minus Nexus), they simply dont have the numbers to actually stand against Ultras on the tier of the Ultra Brothers which includes the original 6, the Leo Brothers, Joneus and the Great 8, Great and Powered etc

Additionally, while you can definitely argue that the Absolutians arent neccessarily fearing the threat of the Legendary Ultras due to the Absolutian Lord, thats not to mention the high fusions which even Tartarus knows they exist like Reiga, Super Taro and Mebius Infinity. They literally have 0 plans for those as well.

So it makes the "war" seems so ridiculous in UGF3 since everyone knows that the Absolutians are waaay too underprepared to actually take on the Ultra race

So with that in mind, I would already introduce Tartarus, Diablo, Titan and possibly another 1-2 more Absolutians on the same level in UGF2 already, with Tartarus still being able to bring villains from the past as well with Dark Lugiel and Etalgar being brought back at this point of time instead to establish the real threat of a whole entire species to threaten the entire Ultra Race instead of just Tartarus.

Then in UGF3 we actually see more Elite Absolutians and the summoned villains are actually pulling their weight here especially with Dark Lugiel, Etalgar, Reibatos doing their thing and Alien Bat actually not being sacrificed for nothing. Everything else like the subplots with Belial and Toregia can still remain.

But, its entirely understandable why TsuPro did what they did with the first 3 installments since they were still testing the waters with these new ventures, and amping the ante with each subsequent installment, but it just means that UGF3 isnt the actual "war", but simply a minor scuffle. The conflict with definitely continue to escalate in future installment which i hope some of my ideas would be implemented to actually make the Absolutians actually threatening to the Ultra Race like at least introduce another 5+ Elite Absolutians and allow them to either be able to fuse as well, or gain some external powerup that somehow allows them to at least stand against the high fusions

Both of which seems likely if u recall that UGF3's original planned was scrapped and there was meant to be at least 1 more Elite Absolutian and Tartarus has his eyes on the Eternity Core which Diablo outright said theyre gonna take it for themselves. Especially since UGF4 has become more complicated with the addition of Reiblood and with the Legendary Ultras' stance, the Absolutians and Ultras seems to be heading towards a peaceful resolution. Since Decker, we now know that the Absolutians have been really quiet for 11 years since UGF3 so i am expecting many exciting changes.

Thanks for the question!

#ultraman #asks

[quodekash]

Why The Entire Harry Potter Epilogue Sucks

most of this has definitely already been said before but I have Thoughts™️ and I need to get them all out in one place. also warning this is very long because my thoughts are big and i talk too much 

first, the overall problems (and everything im gonna talk about is the author’s fault cos she wrote it, but this part is more directly her fault so this section could also just be called Me Hating A Bigot): 

Why did she make them all end up with their high school sweethearts? just to satisfy the shippers? i mean i dont entirely hate it that much, like its fine, book hinny actually have chemistry and i can imagine book romione going through a lot of bumps in their relationship but smoothing it out and figuring it out after a few years. and yeah they’ve all been through a lot together, and that creates a really tight bond between two or more people, but the point still stands. (my point being: high school relationships are stupid and pointless. (if you want to debate me on this, go ahead. try and change my mind. (this is genuine, i want to hear your reasons and give you my reasons, debates are fun)))

Draco’s wife. Why. Like, i have absolutely nothing against Astoria Greengrass, I’m sure she’s lovely (we never meet her other than like maybe in Cursed Child at some point? but i read that once and am electing to ignore it forever so lets imagine i never said that). it’s not even a problem with how the author made him marry a woman even tho he’s very much a gay man, it’s the problem that he didn’t get the redemption he very much deserved. he had like two or three shining moments. and even then they weren’t so much shining, more... glistening like sweat. but she couldve tried so much harder with him. she wouldnt even have to change the plot of the books at all. just make him marry... not a pureblood. dont make this character have to continue the legacy of purebredness that he almost definitely despises. instead, let him marry a muggle. or a muggleborn. or a half-blood chosen one who defeated the dark lord with draco’s own wand. or just anyone that isnt a pureblood, cos we dont know much about it, but we can only assume that it was an arranged marriage and neither of them actually wanted it, they were just doing it for the sake of their families. which sucks. and also all the purebloods are already related so just... dont make the incest continue, no one wants it. 

the names of the kids... i dont like it. well, most of it. naming your kids after your dead parents? that’s fine. it could be a little confusing at times, but they’re nice names and its sentimental. and james’ middle name? i have no problem with it. james sirius potter is a perfect naming choice. definitely not a PREfect naming choice, but absolutely a PERfect naming choice.  -and lily luna potter has a ring to it. and i know luna is important, and i know we love luna. but it couldn’t have been like... lily molly potter, so that ginny’s side of the family could be part of it? it couldn’t have been lily minerva potter, to honour the greatest character of the series? it couldn’t have been... other names i cant think of that wouldve been better than lily luna? but overall i dont hate the name lily luna that much, i can deal with it. -as for hugo and rose, as far as i know they dont have middle names? but i just want to know where the names come from. were they just names that they picked out that Felt Right? cos if so i have absolutely no problems with that. it may be that theyre hermione’s parents names? (speaking of which did she ever get to take them back from australia? adding on to that, did her parents know they were from britain when she erased their memories? cos i highly doubt they wouldve magically gotten aussie accents and their voices wouldve stood out pretty clearly, so would they just be Very British but think they’re perfect bogans and never understand why people look at them funny?) But i dont think it is cos ive always assumed that hermione’s mums name is jean cos it’s hermione’s middle name. also i did some extensive research (*cough* a quick google search *cough*) and the name Rose means flower, femininity, that kind of thing, which is sweet, and Hugo means mind or intellect or something like that, which reflects hermione being smart. so those make sense. -but then we get to albus severus. i love the character, he is pure and must be protected. however, the name... no. harry decided to name his kid (the middle child, aka literally the most overlooked one, so there’s the neglected feelings that generally come from being a middle child there already) after two dead guys. “but egg”, you may be thinking, “james sirius was named after two dead guys, too.” Ah, very astute, dear reader, but you’re missing two crucial pieces of information: james and sirius were excellent people who positively affected harry’s life in a lot of ways. Albus and Severus, on the other hand, were people who: emotionally manipulated him, abused him, hated him, raised him as a pig for slaughter, one of them killed the other, and they were both old and sad cos their loved one is gone forever. great idea to name your kid after that. so smart, hazza. absolutely genius. 

“19 years later” means, if you do the maths, the epilogue is set in 2016. surely some things would change. like, would they still use a steam engine train? would there be too many people (gotta love overpopulation), so would the place to get on the train (or whatever mode of transport it would be by then) change to fit everyone? why don’t we see queer couples in the background? why isnt there any mention of phones? i just- i have questions, okay? i mean, i guess the book came out 9 years before 2016. but some of these things were still in play in 2007 and it feels like pollution and overpopulation and queer people and smartphones just dont exist i guess. 

this is a very small one but i would also like to know how draco and harry and ron all happened to have a child go to school in the same year. like yeah, it happens, but sometimes its like a year or two apart. but nope, they all must’ve f***ed their wives on the same night i guess (i know that’s not how it works, but STILL) 

related to the point about it being 2016, but there wasn’t any deamus???? just a tiny mention would’ve been fine. just so that queer readers dont feel so alone. so that queer readers can feel like they’re actually part of this world, that they can feel included and loved, which are the major themes of the series. all we wouldve needed is “Harry saw Dean and Seamus, holding hands and waving goodbye to a little crying girl leaning out of the train window. Seamus tried to conjure a handkerchief to clean her face, but it set itself on fire as soon as he tried, and the girl laughed through her tears.” Or even just that first sentence wouldve been okay. or even a third or fourth sentence where dean sighs into his hand to hide his smile, shaking his head, and either stamps out the fire with his foot or uses aguamenti to put it out but misses and Seamus frowns at him as droplets of water fall down his face and cling to his eyelashes and dean smiles lovingly and kneels down to mock dean’s height and uses the end of his sleeve to wipe off the water and their daughter is laughing really joyously and the train starts to take off but she’s still laughing and smiling and she waves at her weirdo dads until she cant see them again and im sorry im getting carried away, basically what im trying to say here is just one sentence wouldve been all we needed just to feel included 

ron being an auror makes sense i dont mind that. 

but hermione. why is she in magical law enforcement. i know she cares about justice, but she absolutely would not enjoy sitting behind a desk, she would rather being there, out in the world, helping others because she can, not because it’s her job. she should be a teacher, whether at a muggle school or magical school, i dont flipping care, but she enjoys sharing her knowledge with harry and ron and literally everyone, and that’s what a teacher does. plus, she really looks up to mcgonagall, so you’d think she’d want to be like her: a teacher. and hermione LITERALLY SAYS, out loud, in the books, to rufus scrimgeour, that she doesn’t want a job at the ministry, “i want to make some good in the world”, but then that is just scrapped, never thought about again, and she becomes the flipping minister. she couldve even been an auror, she wouldve been a BOSS at figuring out the target’s next move and how to fight them and bring justice (and i am aware it sounds like im describing her as a batman-like superhero, i dont care, MAYBE HERMIONE IS BATMAN, OKAY?), and working with ron, they would’ve been UNSTOPPABLE. hermione couldve worked at flipin flourish and blotts, she could’ve become the new librarian at hogwarts. i know neither of those are making good in the world, but she wouldve been surrounded by books ALL DAY. honestly she couldve worked with dragons with charlie in romania and it still wouldve been better than stuck behind a desk at the ministry 

i love ginny as a quidditch player, that one is excellent and perfect and i cant think of anything better. 

like. lupin was great. but harry taught a whole bunch of teenagers - at the same time - to conjure patronuses within a couple of lessons, when it took lupin months to teach harry. (granted, harry was depressed and was both trying to learn the charm and going against a boggart-dementor, so they’re both impressive, but still)

he taught them heaps of spells he’d only learnt the previous year while practicing for the third task, and only out of books, which is really bloody impressive.

and, again, he could conjure a patronus at thirteen years old, when most wizards cant their entire lives.

and he taught them the only useful thing lockhart (kind of) taught him: expelliarmus.

as for moody’s/barty crouch jr’s classes, we dont know anything about them other than the first one where he did the unforgivable curses on spiders, and that other one where he put the imperious curse on the students. and harry just wouldnt morally do any one of those things so he technically didn’t beat those classes but also he did because harry didn’t perform illegal curses on his students, so. 

idk about quirrel cos i have no clue what he actually taught them (WHAT WAS THE DEAL WITH THAT REPTILE IN THE MOVIES? (was it a lizard? iguana?? i think it was an iguana but idk)), but he literally bested every single one of the teachers he’d previously had for five years in a couple of months. 

also he really enjoyed teaching. he found himself subconsciously planning lessons. he gave them things to improve on, started small and got bigger, gave encouragement, made sure everyone was included, and so many other things i just cant think of right now. and those are all awesome teacher traits. he would’ve loved being a teacher, would’ve loved helping kids reached their full potential.

and thats why he shouldve been a teacher, but heres why he shouldnt have been an auror: hes not invincible. the only person who couldnt kill him at all was voldemort. if voldey had let one of his death eaters step in and cast the spell, harry couldn’t have done anything, he wouldve actually died that time and voldemort wouldve won. and that still applies in the future. and harry’s gonna be fighting dark wizards just about every day. and guess what? he’s the owner of the elder wand. and book harry didnt break it. no no, book harry was sure he’d die a natural death and the wand would lose its power. and im not saying i want harry to die on work, im saying he was pretty reckless because he could get killed by dark wizards (aka people wanting to start their own cult similar to death eaters; death eaters on the run; death eaters put in azkaban who manage to escape; etc etc) on any given day and then they would have the elder wand and it would all turn to sludge.

but also if he couldn’t have taught dada, then surely he couldve at least been a quidditch player like ginny. that would be so much fun. their team would be basically unstoppable, having a bad*ss married couple working together.

just dont have him as an auror, please, im begging you, it doesnt work

and neville being herbology professor is perfect, end of story. 

okay and now specific moments 

some things that bother me are: albus not wanting to be slytherin, and james making fun of him for maybe possibly being sorted in slytherin. like, shouldnt the problems between the houses have been resolved?? it’s been 19 years since the war people, lets finally resolve some conflict here, pick up the pace guys. but not only that, albus’ fear of slytherin and james’ apparent dislike of slytherin tells us that harry hasn’t told them that slytherins can be good and that all the stereotypes of slytherin aren’t true for everyone and kggkfjgkjgkjfgj

harry hears percy talking about broomstick regulations and is glad to not have the excuse to stop and chat. i dont like that. why doesn’t he want to say hi? percy isnt that bad. i know he’s annoying at times but broomstick regulations would be important, and wouldn’t harry be at least slightly interested in it because quidditch and flying??? 

it sounds like ron’s saying he only recently passed his drivers test. he’d had 19 years. why did it take him that long. this one isnt big it just bothers me a little bit 

why did draco nod ‘curtley’? curtley means rude briefly according to google. that doesnt feel right after everything that’s happened. like, harry literally destroyed the darkest wizard of all time, holding what had previously been draco’s wand. surely that makes some kind of connection. and the trio saved dracos life twice in one day, and saving someone’s life is a literal huge deal, it creates this unspoken bond between you. literally the only reason harry ron and hermione are friends is because harry and ron saved hermione’s life. and saving dracos life, someone who, up until then, they hate? and there’s no mention of any kind of bond or unspoken alliance or anything? they just... go on hating each other? and draco didnt sell them out to his family. which basically means draco saved their lives (BEFORE they saved his), so again theres that connection, that bond, where is it? SURELY it wouldnt be a rude nod?? couldn’t it be an awkward smile? a friendly wink (that could have a double meaning *cough*drarry*cough*)? there would sruely be some kind of connection over the 19 years, like i dont believe that they have never met draco’s child before, i dont believe that the trio and draco havent caught up at some point to say thank you or go out for coffee or whatever functional adults do in their daily lives. 

‘dont try to turn them against each other before they’ve even started school.’ YES GOOD EXCELLENT GOOD JOB HERMIONE- ‘dont get too friendly with him tho. granddad weasley would never forgive you if u married a pureblood’ nO. do NOT imply that there’s going to be a romance. this is the fault of the author and also of ron. you should almost never ship people in real life (with few exceptions. like jokes with friends. or larry. or if theyre already a couple.), and ESPECIALLY not LITERAL CHILDREN! being an embarrassing parent talking to your teenage child about their crush or significant other? that’s fine. mortifying in the moment for the child, but funny to look back on. implying that your ELEVEN YEAR OLD CHILD who was probably told about sex and hormones like three weeks ago, is going to MARRY another ELEVEN YEAR OLD CHILD whom they have NEVER INTERACTED WITH is absolutely NOT FINE. and also DO NOT say that your father is NEVER GOING TO FORGIVE THE CHILD. it might seem funny, but this kind of thing could stick with the child forever and, if their hormones do end up making them fall for this other child in the end, they might be terrified of telling their family and might want to keep any potential relationship a secret and that could eat up at them completely and it could result in repression and depression and a whole bunch of mental health problems that wouldve been avoided if ron had just ✨shut his mouth✨. it wouldve been better to say something like ‘“you’re right, sorry”, said ron. but unable to help himself, he leant down and added in a whisper, “we’re counting on you though, Rosie. the family honour rests on your shoulders. but no pressure.” he stood up, grinning, and winked at his daughter.’ 

i have no problems with teddy and victoire. nor do i have any problems with james’ reaction. nor do i have any problems with what the adults say and what the children say in response to that, i actually like this part. 

‘he checked the battered old watch that had once been fabian prewett’s’ IMOKAYIMFINEYOURECRYINGNOTMEHAHA 

why is it that both with james and albus, their mother kisses them and their father hugs them? why didn’t ginny get a hug? why couldn’t harry kiss his sons goodbye? bloody stereotypes and raising boys as people who cant show emotion and affection and not letting fathers be intimate with their sons because showing compassion isnt “manly”. it makes me angry. 

yOu WeRe NaMeD aFtEr TwO hEaDmAsTeRs AnD oNe oF tHeM wAs A sLyThEriN aNd hE wAs BrAvE HARRY I LOVE YOU BUT THATS NOT WHAT ALBUS NEEDED IN THAT MOMENT. he doesnt care about these dead dudes he’s named after. he doesn’t need to know that slytherins can be brave sometimes like a gryffindor. he doesn’t need to know only one example of a slytherin being a “good person”, especially not when it’s an abusive person who is a terrible example in this situation. what albus needs is reassurance. comfort. “albus, whoever you are and whatever house youre put in, we will still love you and support you. slytherin house is not inherently bad. none of the houses are inherently good or bad. people arent inherently good or bad. it’s almost impossible to fit someone into a box of “good person” or “bad person”, because people are complex. there are always reasons behind our actions. and those are only things that are good or bad. our decisions make us who we are.” thats so much better than a couple of sentences of 'i mean you can choose i guess. cos obviously we want you in gryffindor. but like it doesnt really matter. not that much. also youre named after a manipulative gryffindor and an abusive slytherin so have fun with that, k bye see you at christmas’ 

basically the author sucks and i need to sleep more

#hp #harry potter #19 years later #harry potter thoughts #hp thoughts #the hp author sucks #drarry #draco malfoy #romione #hinny #lily luna potter #albus severus potter #ALSO SORRY FOR ANY SPELLING AND GRAMMAR MISTAKES ETC #ily all have a great day