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emotions-ew · 3 years

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A Collection of Queer Country Artists and Songs for anyone who doesn’t feel like there’s country music they can relate to...

There is this idea that country music is like just Republican men singing about beer, and trucks and also Jesus, and that is kind of fair because loads of it is but there are some cool as hell queer/lgbtq+ country artists. Finding those and finding that representation in a genre of music I was literally raised on kind of changed my life in a tiny way and I wanted to share that.

(This is by no means a comprehensive list and also I’m basing the “Country” part of this sometimes on my subjective opinion/limited music knowledge so yuh please don’t hate me if I get some wrong)

Also link below for a Spotify playlist of my favourite gay/gayish country music, some mentioned in this post some not, (with a title that isn��t obviously gay for anyone who can’t openly listen to gay stuff on their public accounts for whatever reason) so feel free to skip the massive essay and just jump straight to that. And pretty please repost if I missed anyone/ any songs you love.

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7KB6PmUxnpkU7lih8Bysvw

Artists To Follow:

Chely Wright

- Right off the bat, Chely Wright is a legend and I’m in love with her. So, in the 90′s Chely Wright was kind of a huge deal. She started her career as a singer/songwriter and released her first album in ‘94, which was critically acclaimed although never reached the commercial success of her later works. By ‘97 she was really hitting her stride, dropping her breakout hit “Shut up and Drive” (a personal favourite of mine) followed two years later by the biggest hit of her career “Single White Female”. Throughout all that Chely Wright was, to the world, a good old fashioned, heterosexual southern gal. Privately it was a bit of a different story. She had public relationships with male country artists, all while pursuing a secret decade long relationship with a woman.

I hadn’t ever really heard a Chely Wright song until a few years ago so I never knew about her music or career pre-coming out but I do know that even though by the time she came out in 2010 she was by no means at the height of her fame Chely Wright is kind of one of the biggest names in country music to be out and proud (in my opinion) and I love her like an insane amount. I literally play her music in my car when I have passengers just so I can be like “fun fact this singer is actually gay-” and then subject them to a lengthy explanation of her entire career. She came out with an album and a memoir and the album is my favourite of her work because it’s so fucking raw and because I relate to most of it immensely. Anyways Chely Wright went fucking through it in her journey to being her authentic self and now she’s out and proud and married to a woman and they have a family together and I’m a fucking sucker for a happy ending and y’all should add her to every playlist you have. And on top of that her music is genuinely good. Coming out undoubtedly damaged her career but I think that

Brandi Carlile

- As far as I can tell Brandi Carlile has been out her whole career. I feel like this list is just going to be me saying “I’m in love with her” about a bunch of women old enough to be my mother but in my defence, I am honestly in love with her. She’s been making music since she was like, seventeen, and has had a bunch of massive hits, as a singer, songwriter, and producer. If you want to cry kind of happy tears listen to her performance of “Bring my Flowers Now” with Tanya Tucker. She’s won Grammy’s and CMT awards and she’s done it all as an out Queer woman. She’s also a founding member of The Highwomen, an all-female country music group who released their first album in 2019, comprised of Carlile, Marren Morris, Natalie Hemby and Amanda Shires. I really love this band because they’re four artists who are immensely successfully in their own right collabing, much like the Highwaymen, and their music is phenomenal while also being a fuck you to mainstream country music and their inability to properly represent women in country music spaces.

She’s been married to a woman (smoking hot and also brilliant) since 2012 and they have two kids together and if you want to cry (again) then you have to listen to her song “Mother” about her eldest daughter. A queer country artist absolutely worth adding to all your playlists.

Brooke Eden

- As I understand it Eden came out publicly in January of this year. She’s engaged to Hilary Hoover, who she’s been dating since 2015 apparently. I can’t even imagine the pressure that must be on a person and how stressful it would be to keep a relationship secret from the whole world for years and personally I think they’re a cute as hell couple and I wish them literally all the happiness in the world.

Brooke Eden has a few older songs that I think are really good, my favourite being “Act Like You Don’t”, and while her new stuff isn’t my usual country vibe I am a sucker for literally anything gay and it is legally my gay duty to stream any song that she releases to support my fellow queer. It’s quite different to anything Wright or Carlile sing but I actually kind of love that because it shows that country music of all different shapes and sizes and styles can be sung by queer artists.

Amythyst Kiah

- Okay so I am a very new listener to Amythyst Kiah, but her music is literally so beautiful it would be a straight up sin to not include her on this list. Her music is country-blues-roots esq (more roots than country, I think?) and her voice is so unique. She grew up in Chattanooga and has been playing music since childhood. She recently made her Opry debut which is fucking awesome. She also belongs to a band called Our Native Daughters, described as “A supergroup of Black women in traditional music”. Their debut album “Songs of Our Native Daughters” did numbers and I haven’t listened to the whole thing but my favourite so far are “Black Myself” and “I Knew I Could Fly” so y’all add that to your playlists along with “Wild Turkey” by Amythyst Kiah because holy hell her voice on that will blow your mind.

Steve Grand

- The first man to make this list, he should frankly be honoured. Grand has been an out and proud gay man making country music since like 2013, and I have so much respect for an artist who chose to simply never be in, choosing instead to simply write gay ass songs about being in love with men and letting the chips fall where they man. His music is always going to have a special place in my heart and, he’s cute so if you’re into men and music by men give him a google. add him to your playlists, his All-American Boy album is literally just a dozen songs that are perfect to yell-sing along to.

Katie Pruitt

- Not hugely knowledgeable on Katie Pruitt but her music makes me feel crazy intense emotions and is absolutely gay

Honorable Mention Artists I haven’t Really Listened to But Who I Know to be gay thanks to google and might be your thing so totally check them out:

Brandy Clark

Ty Herndon

Shelly Fairchild

Lavendar Country

Trixie Mattel

Cameron Hawthorn

Drop any other names of artists or songs you know of

Specific Songs That Make Me Fucking Cry or (in good and bad ways (but always in a gay way)) or basically are just gay as hell:

If She Ever Leaves Me; The Highwomen

- So, this album came out about a week before my first (and only) girlfriend broke up with me. The general gist of the song is a woman singing about how her loved isn’t ever going to leave her but if she does it sure as hell won’t be for a creepy man in a bar. A little ironic that I felt I related to it so intensely, considering she did in fact leave me. There’s this one lyric that goes “I’ve loved her in secret/I’ve lover here out loud/the sky hasn’t always been blue” and my girlfriend and I were crazy deep in the closet so I drew her a cute little picture of a grey cloud and on the back I wrote that lyric and I gave it to her and to me it was kind of a promise that one day I’d get a chance to love her out loud and even though I never actually did this song is forever going to make me cry because of the little bit of hope that lyric gave me and the way it’s inclusion on this overwhelmingly mainstream country album made me feel like acceptance was just that little bit closer.

All American Boy; Steve Grand

- Definitely one of the first gay country songs I ever heard, and Steve Grand didn’t once sacrifice a scrap of country for the gay. It’s beautiful, it’s a little sad, it’s hopeful. It’s forever going to hold a special place in my heart and the music videos is kind of one of my favourites ever. I found this song before I found myself and the way it made my heart warm should have been a stronger sign than I took it to be.

Like Me; Chely Wright

- When you love someone you kind of make it your mission to know them in a way that no one else can. This song by Chely Wright is sort of an ode to that, and how even once you lost someone, you’re still going to know every little thing about them. On top of that it sort of speaks to the idea that all these things Wright learned about this woman, she learned in secret and she knew her and loved her in secret and now that they’re gone from each other she’s left with all of this knowledge and all of these questions and no one to answer them. I love the way it’s so slow and the melody and her voice, the way it’s low and a little raspy, make this one of my favourite Chely Wright songs.

The Mother; Brandi Carlile

- Sorry but a song about being a mother by a queer woman is going to make me cry every time and actually I’m not that sorry. It’s quite a simple song, if any song written by Brandi Carlile can ever be described as ‘simple’, it’s an ode to her daughter. My favourite line is “you are not an accident/where no one thought it through” because it speaks to the fact that in order for queer women to have a kid together they have to want it so damn bad and also I just like the way her voice sounds on that line. This song is also the perfect thing to listen to if you ever for a second feel like being gay/queer is going to stand in the way of you having a family because it absolutely doesn’t have to and if that’s something you want, you can have it. Don’t let people try and convince you otherwise.

Loving Her; Katie Pruitt

- Unapologetic gay love. Opening a song with “If loving hers a sin, I don’t wanna go to heaven” is a fucking baller move and she went there. The lyrics are beautiful, and her voice is phenomenal. It could be a sad song, about confronting religious repression and grappling with what that means for your love, but instead its triumphant. Katie Pruitt doesn’t give a fuck if you have a problem because she’s going to write songs for her lover.

Jesus From Texas; Semler

- Not actually totally sure this is a country song, but it has the words ‘Jesus’ and ‘Texas’ in the title so I feel safe including it in this list. Honestly, I don’t really know why I relate so hard to this song. Like, I wasn’t really raised with religion, so I don’t know what it is about this funky little tune that makes me want to sob but there’s something about this tune that makes me want to do whatever the opposite of get up and dance is, but like, in a good way.

Lovin’ Again; Steve Grand

- Breakup song that ends kind of positively? So good to sing along to at high, high volumes. The idea that losing someone doesn’t have to mean losing yourself and just because you can’t love them doesn’t mean you’re not ever going to love again. But also kind of about how it’s hard to get over someone, I don’t know it’s just good.

Cryin’ These Cocksucking Tears; Lavender Country

- Jesus christ if this isn’t the coolest shit I’ve ever heard in my life. Sorry but a gay country group formed in 1972 who dropped possibly the first gay themed country album, and this was the title of one of the songs. God I am in love.

Songs that (to me) are a little fruity or that I just relate to in a gay way:

Picket Fences; Chely Wright

- Chely Wright is gay but this song came out long before she did and when she wrote it, it wasn’t supposed to be gay which is why it’s in this section and not the previous. The reason it’s included at all is because frankly ma’am, Mrs Wright, it’s a little fruity. And I feel a little bad for joking because honestly to me, the way I hear this song and knowing the context (that Wright was deeply closeted at the time she wrote and released it), it’s kind of just sad. The general gist of the song is Wright asking what’s so great about a traditional lifestyle anyways. It could be read as a woman genuinely questioning why we push that expectation that she’ll have two kids and a husband and a picket fence lifestyle, or even could be read as a woman who’s trying to deflect how much she does in fact want that, you have to listen and form your own opinion. But to me, it feels like a woman who’s desperately trying to justify why she doesn’t want that life not because she can’t have it, but she knows it will never be right for her. I don’t know it’s hard to explain I just feel like this song is a little bit gay even though I’m sure she didn’t intend that.

Sinning with You; Sam Hunt

- Sorry but this song is gay. Sorry but you can’t write the lines “I never felt like I was sinning with you/Always felt like I could talk to God in the morning” and “if it’s so wrong why did it feel so right” and “But I never felt shame, never felt sorry/Never felt guilty touching your body” and not to mention the opening line of “raised in the first pew/praises for yeshua/case of a small town repression”, and expect to not sit in my car sobbing as I realised that while I never felt like what we did was a sin she absolutely did, and wishing I could have told her that I was sorry for making her carry the weight of both our souls but also that it wasn’t a sin and nothing in the world could feel that good and be that bad and it isn’t right that she had to be so ashamed of something that was just so good. Sam Hunt actually said after he wrote the song that while it was reflection on his own relationship with faith he genuinely hopes that people in the lgbtq community can like find comfort or whatever in his words and like go off king, we stan an ally.

How do I Get There; Deana Carter

- This ones easy, it’s about falling in love with your best friend and suddenly realising you want more than just friendship with them. Sorry Deana, that’s gay. In my Deana Carter of like Year 10 I played this song on repeat and screamed along to the lyrics as though singing it hard enough would make her like me back.

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youaresympatico · 2 years

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I’m nowhere near finished listening to your playlist but I thought I’d update you on my progress. I found so many songs I like (see screenshot). ☺️

The National has SO many songs that I’m always discovering new ones and I found The System Only Dreams in Total Darkness from you and I love it! It inspired a story idea so I’ll see where that goes. And I tried to get into Father John Misty but never found the right song but Real Love Baby is a jam! I’m still not a fan of Mike Skinner but maybe he’ll grow on me eventually. 😂

Anyways, I’ll continue going through your playlist to find more gems. I can’t help but think about how similar your music taste is to Van’s. The both of you could talk for hours. I hope you’re well! x

Okay this really made my whole day (which is very busy thank you for your wishes, can't wait for the holidays).

The National is so damn good, I still haven't listened their whole discography, but the three albums I've heard top to bottom are like my all time favs. Sleep well beast, trouble will find me and alligator are gems really. The System Only Dreams in Total Darkness is *chef kiss*, you're so right, is my second fav on this album (it lose to turtleneck of course cause every song lose to turtleneck). Can't wait to see where this song lead you in your story idea, count me in to read this, I'm already excited!!!!!

Father John Misty was a fat yes for me since the very first time I've heard Real Love Baby when Paula (miss you girl) send me the Spotify link on twitter months and months ago. Luckily Paula and my other friend (shout out Anna) loves him so I started to listen to his album God's Favorite Costumer because Anna made me and I fell in love with him instantly. Then I saw in a video Van and Bondy talking about him and the Fear Fun album and I was like "oh my god so right besties" cause is so damn good, can't get over how deep his lyrics are. Some of them means a lot to ne really (personal bullshits).

I am not a fan of Mr. Skinner either, but just cause Van keeps mentioning him all the time I went looking for his songs and the first one I was like: No, it can't be it. Van can't be such a fan of this shit. But then Rebecca, another friend of mine, send me Everything Is Borrowed by The Streets saying there was a few good songs and I absolutely love Heaven For The Weather cause it means a lot to me. Reminds me of my teenager years with my brother and our best friends doing crazy stuffs such as stealing a decorative 4'11 size Santa Claus from the city center after the city hall people decorate it. 2am drunk me, me brother and two of our friends stealing a Santa, putting him in the car and driving home, finding a beggar and asking him to go home with us, gifting one of these two friends' mom with the city hall Santa, feeding the beggar and then went home at 5am, waking up to the news on Facebook "vandals stole city hall's Santa Claus" and laughing about it when we found out our friend's mom decorate her house with this same Santa. I wanna go to heaven for the weather, but hell for the company...

You saying that my musical taste and Van's are very similar made my day. Really. He could be my boyfriend, he just needs to get to know me, I swear 😂 We could talk for hours about it it's true, but he probably knows way more than me, I just enjoy songs, he probably knows everything on how they made it (actually that could make the conversation flow, right?).

Anyways, thank you for this, you are really listening to the playlist I sent you, this is really important to me, it feels like you care to what I say, thank you so much. I'm looking forward to read what you've got to say next, hope you're well too darling 🖤🥰

#asks

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0zzysaurus · 2 years

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13, 20, 22, 80, 86

Saw your other one so I'll at 17 in here!!

13. Do you believe in reincarnation?

Wholeheartedly yes. Energy can't be destroyed so we must end up a part of something else. I suspect we're dispersed among the bugs and grass and worms eventually we travel up to the apex again. I know that's not the same as being reincarnated immediately as a new person or animal, but I think it's a slow, steady process.

17. Did you have imaginary friends? Do you still have them?

It wasn't a friend but when I was younger I had a consistent sort of "waking sleep paralysis" hallucination of a hooded shadow person. I think it was most likely the overactive imagination of a young child, but it was an extremely threatening presence in my life until I was about 10-ish? Then it just went away and I never saw it again.

20. Do you want a grand adventure?

Yes!! I want to go on a big sailing adventure around the world and visit as many places in the natural world as I can. I want to do a big American road trip themed entirely around wildlife. I also really want to visit Argentina so I can see the original Carnotaurus holotype cast. That's a bucket list trip.

22. How long does it take you to fall in love with somebody? Is the sensation of ‘falling in love’ or ‘being in love’ better?

Doesn't take long for me to form a crush and become absolutely overtaken by it. I think the feeling of falling in love is better, because it's exciting and warm and makes you feel on top of the world. - But I also have this issue where once I start a romantic relationship, my feelings very quickly go away. I don't understand why it happens but it's the primary reason I end relationships because the feeling goes away with no explaination why. It makes me feel a bit guilty sometimes because I crush HARD on a person, we start a relationship, and almost instantly I want to go back to being friends. I don't know if it's linked to aromanticism possibly, or queer platonic stuff, but I know when I'm falling in love it feels very strong and real, and once I'm actually in the relationship it goes away. :// It's something that leads me to question if having a partner is ever going to be something that will be fulfilling for me, and if it would be better to just aim for a solo life. Sorry if this answer was confusing it's just a strange thing I experience.

80. Is your music organised by mood or sensation or do you just listen to everything at any time?

My Spotify playlist is a total mess. I think it's just in order of whatever I want to bop to. I almost never put things in a specific order to listen the whole way through unless its like, Romeo and Juliet which I like to listen to in order (even tho I still skip a bunch of songs). I have a couple of playlists that started out as being specific for one vibe but gradually shift to a different vibe as you go through it. If it helps, my top listened song last year was Sound of the Underground, and my second listened to song was Growltiger. Both of those are in the same playlist outside of my 2021 wrapped. I have a playlist that has Group Autogenics 1 in it and also Bring It All Back. It's just straight vibes that dictate it <3

86. What’s your toxic trait? Are you trying to improve yourself and fix it?

Getting involved in other people's arguments that aren't my business. It's usually from a place of wanting to resolve issues because I don't like when people fight, but sometimes I gotta seriously learn to just take a step back and consider if my input is really worth giving, even if I think it's good advice or a warranted interjection. Like, if I know I'm not going to be listened to and my input is just going to aggrivate both parties, it's easier to just say nothing. In my personal and home life, I've got better at just holding my tongue around people who are determined to be right no matter what. I'm learning to not waste my energy on painful arguments that I know will upset me, even if it means not getting to stand up for myself. Does it suck when I can't clarify my thoughts or actually discuss an issue with a family member in a mature way without them getting defensive? Yeah, but I'd rather just give up the ghost than have them purposefully misinterpret my intentions and put me down at any chance they have.

#ask game #!! these are so much fun ill send u some in a sec too <3

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queer-disabled-activist · 3 years

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Masterlist sex mentions/references in Journey's/Steve Perry and Neal Schon's songs

This is something I've been thinking about doing for a while now, and now I've finally did it! Journey songs comes on shuffle as they do and I discovered a lot of songs that refrenced sex somehow and I thought to myself "how many of these do they have??" because it just felt like they kept coming.

This list will focus on Steve Perry's time with the band from Infinity to Trial By Fire, his solo work and Neal Schon's first solo album. You will notice that Frontiers isn't on this list, well that is because there's no sex references on Frontiers whatsoever. The list will go in cronologial order and I will mention some key lyrics to why these songs are naughty. Steve Perry will get hoe points for the songs he has written all by himself without input. As you will notice "Departure" is the sluttiest album of them all. Also here’s a playlist of all the songs available on spotify (X) For the songs that aren’t available on spotify I’ve added a youtube link in the title. Hope you'll enjoy!

Infinity

- “Feeling That Way” - This is kinda semi, but it still goes. Key lyrics:

“A new road's waiting

You touched my life, whoa

Soft and warm on a summer's night

You're the only one, I told you

The only one I love

The lovely one (lovely one)

I'm thinking of”

- "Anytime" This is also kinda semi, but this list will get naugthier as we go along. Key lyrics:

“Ooh, ooh anytime that you want me Ooh, ooh anytime that you want me Ooh, ooh anytime that you want me to Ooh, ooh anytime that you need me"

- "La Do Da" - Key lyrics

"Whey you touch me sweet so fine I feel it, I feel it When your body's close to mine"

Evolution

- "Lovin' Touchin' Squeezin'" Steve Perry wrote this alone so he's getting his 1st hoe point. This is probably the most obvious track you can think of when it comes to sex references. Key lyrics:

“When I'm alone all by myself You're out with someone else Lovin', touchin', squeezin' each other"

- "When You're Alone (It ain't easy) This song mostly hint at teasing, but teasing is also somewhat of a sex reference. - Key lyrics:

“When you're alone it ain't easy, You're like a dog that roams. Ain't got no girl to tease me, Ain't got nobody home."

- "Lovin' You is Easy" Key lyrics:

"Come on girl, give me that good lovin', oh baby Come on girl, keep the motor hummin, oh, woh, baby".

- "Just The Same Way" Key lyrics:

“Oh, no, you should be holdin' on to him girl. Oh, yeah just like, just like you want to do. Oh, no, just love and squeeze him girl. Oh, yeah just love and squeeze him yeah."

Departure

- "Any Way You Want It" - This is also kind of an obvious one, it's basically in the title. Key lyrics:

"Ooh, all night, all night Oh, every night So hold tight, hold tight Ooh baby, hold tight"

- "Walks Like A Lady" - Steve Perry wrote this song all by himself and is now up to his 2nd hoe points. Key lyrics:

“She moves like a lady When I'm in her arms She loves like a lady Lovin' all night long"

- "Where Were You" - This is the most lyrical graphic one of some sorts and honestly the theme makes me a bit uncomfortable. It's describing the girl he's dating as a hoe and that if she was about to leave him he can just hook up with her sister anyway. The whole song is basically a key lyric, but I'll go with the second verse. Key lyric:

"I know where, baby You been running around loose on the side Cause I know where, little lady You been running around with something to hide I don't mind, darling, if you're feeling fancy and free, yeah I don't mind, little baby Because your sister's looking real good to me"

- "Line Of Fire" - This is just a semi sexual reference, very mild, but I decided to keep it in. Key lyric:

“He said, "Now Suzi, don't you lie. Did Stevie, did he catch you with another guy?""

- "Stay Awhile" Steve Perry gets a hope point for this one, now he has 3. Key lyric:

"I'd go anywhere to touch you. I'd do anything you want me to,"

- "Homemade Love" - This song is a song full of sexual references packed into cooking. This is one of the few songs were Smitty/Steve and Neal all has writing credits, Smitty is not really known for his writing credits, so that is cool. Key lyrics:

"I need a jelly roll sweetie. Now, spread it oh spread it on me, babe. Feels so good, on the top."

Captured

- "Dixie Highway" - This is also a song filled with sexual references that they've packed in to be about a highway. A fun fact, this is the second song were Steve Perry has namedropped himself, the first is "Line Of Fire". Stevie is obviously him. Key Lyrics:

“I want to hold on you, come with you, love with you all the night"

"Escape"

From Jon Cain's entering the sex refrences instantly went down, on Escape there is only one.

- "Stone In Love" - Key lyrics:

"She pulled me down, ooh, and in clover We'd go around, yeah In the heat with a blue jean girl"

"Raised On Radio"

- "Positive Touch" - Key lyrics:

"She (she's) has got the positive touch (touch) She's bringing love back to me, yeah, back to me. I said-- She, (she's) to me means so much (much) She's saving it all for me, yeah"

- "Suzanne" - This is a semi reference, but since the list really dries up bc of Jon Cain I left it in anyway. Key lyrics:

"You're making love on the silver screen I want you more than you will ever know Temptation...Infatuation"

"Trial By Fire"

- "Baby I'm Leaving You" - This is very, very semi. Key lyric:

“Tell me girl it ain't true The rumors that I hear about you About all the boys you knew before Who come and go right out your door"

- "I Can See It In Your Eyes" - The only song where Journey has mentioned the word sexy ever. Key lyric:

“No you..Make me mad...The way you cat around With your lips, your legs And all your sexy ways Do you got another lover now"

"Street Talk" - Steve Perry

"I Believe" - key lyric

"You want it too - Oh you want it You'll know the way - Know the way."

"Go Away" - a hoe reference. Key lyrics:

"I'm cruisin' many So are you That's the way we both should do"

"Strung Out" - I find this song uncomfortable. I have mentioned that Steve Perry has a lot of solo songs where he refrences women as something that should belong to him, I don't like it at all. This is a semi sex reference packed in in lovin'. Key lyrics:

"They're sayin' that he's never been good to you And he's always hurt and let you down, If what you need is good lovin', I'll be around"

"Harmony" - Steve Perry wrote this all on his one and is now up to 4 hoe points. This is very semi. Key lyric: "Ooh yeah special kind of love Ooh yeah la la la la"

- “My My My” - This is a bonus track on Street Talk and isn’t available on streaming services, so I simply forgot it. This is a demo from Steve’s Alien Project days and it’s yes you probably guessed it; it’s a sex song. Key lyrics:

“M-m-m-m, my, my yeah

M-m-m-m, my, my yeah

I've got somethin' for you, yeah

You've got somethin' for me, oh

Let's put 'em together, oh yeah, oh

Ooh, I want you to squeeze me

Come on and hold me

Oh, baby, love me!

M-m-m-m, my, my yeah

M-m-m-m, my, my yeah”

- “Makes No Difference” Another bonus track from Street Talk that isn’t available on streaming services. This is another demo from his Alien Project days and it’s yet another sex song of course. This man here he is very naughty indeed. Key lyrics:

“Theres a sweep right to the bone

And I love to feel you baby

I I I get excited, oo to be with you

C'mon baby, whoaa oo oh oh oh”

"For The Love Of Strange Medicine" - Steve Perry

Before going in to this I thought that FTLOSM would be an album full of sexual refrences because it has a lot of sexy melodies, and well that one song you know, but as it turns out it doesn't have a lot. It's like Steve Perry decided to put all the sexual references in one single song. There are som other semi ones though.

- "Donna Please" - Another song where he sings about women that should belong to him, no. Key lyric: "Wanting you Touching you" and "If he wants you tonight Will you tell him no"

"Listen To Your Heart" - This is also a bit semi, but it needs to be here. Key lyric: "I was lovin' you baby You were lovin' me Every word I said Every word is true I was on the inside But he was lovin' you" and "You felt so good"

- "Can't Stop" - The song we all knew would be here. This entire song is a sex song and it's no going around it. In all honesty the entire song is a key lyric, but lets go with this part:

"(Can't stop) Your magical potion (Can't stop) The feel of your ocean (Whoa, whoa) Yes, I'm in shadows Talk real nice (nice) You know, just a little bit of that, uh Sugar and spice Some cutchie-coo, ooh"

"Greatest Hits + 5 Unreleased" - Steve Perry

- "Against The Wall" -Steve Perry is in a relationship, but he really wants to cheat like the hoe he is. Key lyric: (updated)

“Believe me I want you, I'd like to

More than I show

But I belong to somebody else, baby, please

“Walk out that door, yeah, oh

Before it's too late, listen

In the middle of your touch

In the middle where your heat starts rising

Oh, girl, I want you so bad”

- Once In A Lifetime, Girl" - This is also somewhat of a semi reference. Key lyric: "Baby, so come on Let's do it again More than a lover You're more than a friend"

"Traces" - Steve Perry

"No Erasin'" He wrote this himself and is now up to 5 hoe points. Maybe this is a surprising choice, but I found something here. Key lyrics:

“You laughed with me and sheltered me and Turned me on"

"Call On Me" - very semi, but it still goes. 6 hoe points. Key lyric: "If you want loving And you're alone Stay, you no lonely Pick up the phone

- "Could We Be Something Again" - 7 hoe points, that is Steve Perry's score for songs with sexual references he has written alone. Key lyric: "Oh, do you wanna, do you wanna? Yah-yah Do you want a little? Yah-yah, yah-yah Do you wanna love again, baby?"

- "Late Nite" - Neal Schon

- "Rain's Comin' Down" When you listen to this song it is very obvious what it is about. Key lyric: "When the rain's comin' down, I wanna make love When the rain's comin' down, gonna make you feel good now"

- "Softly" This is mostly a pure love song, but we need some pure love as well and it is very sweet, I adore this song. Key lyric: "When I hold you in my arms (Softly) When I hear you call my name (Softly) The tears fall, the tears fall like gentle rain (Softly) Softly in the morning (Softly) You touch me and I feel so right"

#journey band #steve perry #neal schon #gregg rolie #aynsley dunbar #steve smith #ross valory #jonathan cain #masterlist #tw sex mention #tw sex #ask to tw

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greenygreenland · 3 years

Text

If I Were You Pt. 3: Fives x Reader

‘-Uhmmm yes and thank you for the request??? -Of kriffing COURSE I’ll do a pt 3! -I love asks, they make my day so thank you so much!! -the beginning is inspired by something that actually happened to me today (but it’s greatly exaggerated in this. promise.)

PREVIOUS PART

WARNINGS: MENTIONS OF DEATH, ABUSE, HOSPITALIZATION.

The first thing that hits your nose is a sharp scent, like toast that’s been overcooked. You frown to yourself, dropping your pencil on the dining table as Fives follows your gaze. “What’s that smell?” you inquire. He shoots up from the couch, darting into the kitchen with a low hiss. “Maker!”

You frown. That can’t be good. “Fives, did you put something in the toaster?” You don’t get an answer straight away, and maybe it’s better that way. When it’s silent for too long, you get up from your seat, ignoring the screeching of your chair against the wooden floorboards. “Fives, don’t tell me you--”

Everything you assumed you’d see would have been so much better. Burnt toast. Water boiling over the sides of a pot. Overcooked ramen that’s too soggy to swallow. The bright flames licking at your stove and overflowing to the L-shaped counters is so much worse. How did this happen?, you wonder to yourself. Just what had Fives been up to while you were studying for an exam?

He’s suddenly shouting at you to do something as he fans the fire. It grows in size and he’s screaming, but it’s hard to hear him over pounding in your head. That’s when you hear the smoke detector. That familiar beep beep beep beep sound that always went off unconventionally. You never guessed it could have been right, not until now.

The words finally fall from your mouth: “Call 911!”

“What’s the number?!” Fives cries. You speed past him, whipping out your phone and turning on the sink. The numbers displayed on the screen flash before your eyes, and as Fives dumps water over the hot flames, you calmly speak into your phone. It’s as if you’ve been trained for this, for a life-or-death situation that would most definitely break you in the long run.

You were already broke as it was, paying for bills on your own and the college debt that left you waist-deep in nothing. After your mum had been hospitalised due to her condition, you’ve been on your own, with only Fives as that little bit of domestic support. He couldn’t work, not when he didn’t have a passport, proof of his citizenship, or really of his existence as a whole.

After all, he was technically still a ‘fictional character’.

When the fire department arrive, you and Fives already have the fire out. It was a miracle that the fire hadn’t spread to the rest of your home, but still a complete loss for your poor stove and toaster.

“I’m sorry...”

You turn to Fives and cup his cheek. His eyes are downcast as you run your fingers against his smooth skin. He feels guilty, that much you can tell, but you can’t blame him. You simply don’t have the strength to when you are oh so tired. “I bet it was a malfunction in the machinery.” you quietly answer. “It’s not your fault, love.”

He meets your gaze with doe-like eyes that remind you just how young he is on the inside. “But I--”

You shut him down with a peck on the lips and link your hands in his. When the firemen are done inspecting the house for any possible flames you might’ve missed, you walk back inside and give your mum a ring. She doesn’t care much about the house. It’s all you and Fives that matters, just as any parent should think. You’re grateful she isn’t angry, and more so that she tells you insurance will cover everything just fine.

The next week go smoothly. You pass your test with flying colours, your mum’s health is as stable as ever, and the house recovers with the help of insurance. The only issue you have left is the aching pain in your chest.

Whenever you pass that stupid TV, all broken with the cracks and dark memories, it hurts. You know it shouldn’t when your father is locked away in jail, but it does, for what could have been. If your father weren’t such a jerk, then maybe you could have what you see on TV. The family where the father comes home with the mother after work, and they greet their children with smiles and hugs and kisses and ‘I love you’s that you’ll never be able to hear.

Fives isn’t blind to the pain you carry. He sees it as clear as day, yet it’s almost impossible for him to make it go away. The most he can ever do is ease it, no matter how hard he tries.

Today you’re wrapped in his arms on the couch with a Spotify playlist in the background blaring through a small speaker. It’s quiet, save for the faint melody of a song you never cared to learn the name of.

“I’m sorry,” you suddenly say. Fives perks up at the solemn tone in your voice and brings you closer to his chest. “What are you sorry for?” You glance at the broken TV, then the empty house with a long sigh. “This.” You say it as if ‘this’ explains everything. It doesn’t, and Fives knits his brows together.

“If anyone should be sorry, it’s me.” he says. “I can’t work, I don’t have an education. It’s not like I can join the military either when I’m not even supposed to exist here.” He rests his head on top of yours and your shoulders slump. “I wish I could help you more.” By ‘more’ you know he means ‘soothe the pain in your heart’. You don’t say anything though, and that’s because you’re still tired.

You lean against his chest and close your eyes. His heartbeat is your bacta today. It helps to ease your mind knowing that he’s here every step of the way. He won’t leave you. Never.

Beep! Beep!

Your eyes snap open and you sit up. Fives hands you your vibrating phone, his secure arm still around your shoulders. You tap on the screen and place the speaker to your ear. “Hello?”

“Is this (Y/f/n)?”

“Yes.”

“You were the only contact on the list, so I thought it would be fitting to call. I’m really sorry, but (M/f/n) has passed at eleven fifty-two P.M. I’m sorry for your--”

The phone slips out of your hands. You can’t bear to hear the rest because it hurts too much. After being on your own with the bills, the money, college--everything, it’s like a smack to the face, the final breaking point that sends you over the edge.

Fives doesn’t need to hear your voice to know what happened. He’s seen that face too many times to count that it’s ingrained in his mind like the very tattoo on his forehead. Your eyes well and you practically throw your arms around him. “Fives...Fives...”

“It’s okay.” he gently says. “I’m still here.” He is all you have left with your parents gone. You’ve been thrown into this wayside world, where nothing is perfect and nothing goes right, but Fives is here. He’s still here.

You don’t remember closing your eyes, or falling asleep against Fives’s chest, but when you open your eyes, all that sticks is fear. The staple screeches of blaster fire and charges blare in your ears as you rake yourself off the dark ground. You aren’t wearing your PJs, but a nice pair of Jedi robes you were sure you hadn’t ever seen in your life.

The bodies at your feet make you feel sick, and not because the lifeless corpses aren’t moving, but because you can practically feel the absence of warmth they were supposed to exude.

“GET DOWN!”

Arms are around you again, and as dirt and grass and branches of odd plants fly past by, you tumble to the ground in a heap. It’s hard to see through the dark haze the planet provided, but you know it's Fives who saved you. That much you can tell by the pressure of his grip and the shake of his breath. He hauls you somewhere off to the side, a little further away from the front lines as his brothers barrel past him.

“(Y/n).” He grips your shoulders. Hard. You stare up at his frantic eyes, bewildered, and frankly, scared. You could have died, or worse, ended up a mangled mess as you died a slow, painful death. “Where--what--we were just--?”

“I don’t know.” he says. “But I guess you’re a Jedi.” His gaze falls on the lightsaber swinging from your belt. “Can you...?” You unclip the cool metal that feels so right in your hands. It’s not too light, and not too heavy, as if it were tailored for you and only you.

The mesmerising (colour) light of your saber shines upon your face as you thumb it on. Fives sends you a reassuring nod as he throws on his bucket and whips out a blaster. “You’re a fast learner, you can do this Cyar’ika." You take one glance at the explosions to your left and nearly freeze. You’re a fast learner? You can do this cyar’ika? What kind of nonsense was Fives spewing?

Learning how to cook was different from fighting for your kriffing life.

Fives doesn’t give you much time to think as you swing around you lightsaber. You’re running on pure muscle memory now, from all the times you had to run in gym, all the times you played around with your plastic lightsaber. Who knew any of that would come in handy?

It’s a miracle you’re even able to block the incoming blaster bolts, as if you had done this for years and not five seconds.

“(Y/n)!”

Your shoulders tense. That wasn’t Fives, it was Anakin Skywalker. He blocks a few blaster bolts and motions for you to come to him. You do, slicing a droid down its middle like it were warm butter. “(Y/n),” Anakin says again, “where were you? I’ve been looking for you for the past fifteen minutes!”

“Uh...I...”

Anakin glances at the confused look on your face and you feel like you’ve just disappointed him. A frown bursts onto his face like he’s just seen the galaxy’s worst disappointment: you. “What’s wrong? Did you hit your head?” He doesn’t give you time to answer. He already knows you have no idea what’s going on, as if an invisible tie connected your thoughts to his.

But of course he knew, he was a Jedi.

Suddenly, his eyes widen. He nearly drops his lightsaber as he tackles you to the ground, panting, silently begging for time to be on his side. At first, you can’t feel anything, but as soon as your arm twitches, it’s there: a burn and sharp pain like you’ve never felt before. Anakin’s lips move, but you can’t hear a word that comes out of his mouth.

You want to cry, to gasp out in pain, but it’s too much, and you black out.

Pain. That’s the first thing you feel as you sit up with a low hiss. “Glad you’re awake Commander.” Your eyes are wide as you meet Kix’s comforting smile. Although you sense a flicker of joy, there’s a heavy weight on his shoulders you understand. He’s stressed, but not just about your condition, but his brothers’ and everyone else his heart could reach. He was a healer, just as you were supposed to be.

“You took a nasty hit there, but you’ll be good as new.” he said. “Give it a few weeks or so.” You ripped your gaze from his and took in the sights of the hazy planet. After being thrust into the mayhem, you finally realise just where in the galaxy you were. “Kix, this is Umbara, right?” you inquire. He knits his brows together and you just know he’s beyond concerned for your health.

“Yeah,” he slowly replies, “why?” You shrug, but he clearly doesn’t want to let you off the hook. Not when you’re needed on the battlefield for a campaign you know will go south. “No reason.”

“I swear if you have amnesia...” He trails off and meets your eyes, as if searching for a sign to reassure him that he wouldn’t have another thing thrown on his plate. “Commander, if I may ask, do you remember what our mission is?”

“To...capture the Umbaran base not too far from here?”

Kix frowns. He’s disturbed, as if you told a gory horror story. For a second, you wonder why, but then it hits you like a rock in the face. Anakin saved you, and the orders you relayed just now hadn’t been announced until after his departure, when Krell arrived right after. “Wait, no--I mean--Kix, I can explain. Fives and I, we’re--” You try to sit up, but he forces you to sit back against a tree trunk.

“I think you should sit down for a little.” he said. “Just...give it a minute Commander. Maybe you’re in shock.”

“If you don’t mind me asking, where’s Fives?” Your open-ness with Kix surprises you, but you blame it on how many times you’ve re-watched the Clone Wars on Disney Plus as a distraction from your piling college debt. He frowns again just like before. “Fives? I haven’t seen him since--”

“(Y/n)!”

Oh that voice. You could spot that even among his own brothers. “Fives!” you exclaim. He’s already at your side, staring at the bandage covering the wound on your shoulder. “How is it?” he inquires. You shrug. “I thought it would be worse, but it’s okay.” You’re fighting hard to keep from wincing and Fives can see it. “Kix did an outstanding job.” You nod towards the medic, who remains in his spot wide-eyed.

Kix knows something is wrong. Since when were you and Fives so close? Let alone so...touchy?

“Cyar’ika, you’re really bad at hiding that you’re in pain. I can see it.”

Kix’s jaw goes slack. Oh no. Oh no, no, no, no, no. He doesn’t say anything as Fives grasps your hand in his because he’s still processing everything. When had you both been in a relationship? When had this even happened? What did he have for breakfast this morning? His memory is all hazy and he knows something isn’t right.

“Fives,” he slowly begins, “when...” Kix can’t bear to finish the sentence. If anyone found out, he could be court-martialled or even wiped of his memory or executed. He couldn’t let that happen to his brother. Not after Echo. Not after all the suffering he endured.

Fives suddenly releases your hand. His expression goes blank as he meets Kix’s gaze. “Please, you can’t tell anyone.” There’s a graveness in his voice that matches the solemn tone of the planet, as if he’s expecting a lurking enemy around the bend. Kix wants to say more. He wants to lecture Fives and his Commander about how dangerous this predicament was, but he can’t.

Not when they were looking at him like that. Like their lives depended on it.

“Alright.” he finally says. “I promise.”

When Kix gives the ‘okay’ sign for (Y/n) to get up, she follows Fives out from behind the cover of the trees. Kix eyes the closeness of their hands, the way their shoulders seem to brush every now and then, and the whispers lost to the wind.

“I can’t believe this...” he mumbles to himself. He rips his gaze away from his friends and walks over to check on the wounded.

You aren’t sure what to do as you pass a few members of the 501st. Some salute you while others continue their tasks. Everything you thought you knew about this arc suddenly goes down the drain. What was going on? Did Anakin already leave? Who were you to these men? To this world?

“(Y/n)!”

Anakin jogs over to your side, placing a hand on your uninjured shoulder comfortingly. He furrows his brows as you knit your own as a subtle sign of confusion. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you,” he says. “Kix told me you’d be fine. He said it was just a graze.” Anakin pauses for a moment and frowns. “What’s wrong? I sense your confusion.”

Wonderful. He senses your confusion.

“I...” You glance at Fives, but he’s just as clueless as you. Anakin’s hand leaves your shoulder and wraps around a lightsaber on his belt. He hands the beautiful hilt to you, that frown still plastered on his lips. “You know, if anything is wrong, you can always tell me. I’m your master, I’m supposed to help you.”

Wait, what?

“It’s kind of my job.”

You almost have the urge to smile, but that last bit about him being your master just hits you in the wrong way. Did that mean you stole Ahsoka’s role? It’s suddenly hard to look Anakin in the eye. Even though he was trying to make you feel better, it only made you feel worse.

Anakin’s lips twitch upward into a reassuring smile and he breaks from your side. “By the way, we move out in the next fifteen minutes.”

The next hour is a complete hell of blaster fire, grenades, and death. You’ve never fought one day in your life, and a part of you wishes you hadn’t. What you know will haunt you forever are the screams of those who fight a war they never had a say in.

After a group of Y-wing bombers swoop in as assistance, Krell comes planetside. He’s taller in real life and much more intimidating than the screen could ever capture. A lingering coldness seems to sink in your bones as he waltzes out of the gunship. You glance at Anakin, but he’s already greeting Krell with a grateful look on his face you just want to slap away.

“Master Krell,” he says. “Thanks for the air support.” Krell inclines his head respectfully. “Indeed General. The locals have proven to be more resourceful than we anticipated.” Something inside you tells you to stay alert. It might have been the Force, but you can’t tell. Krell’s very presence seemed to cloud your mind and you could only assume this was the power of the Dark Side.

It was so much worse than described in the books or movies and shows. The sensation left you feeling cold and overwhelmed with fear you’ve never felt before. It seemed today, you were learning more than your puny brain could handle.

Anakin raises a brow at Krell. “But that’s not the reason for your visit.” Krell shakes his head. “No. The Council has ordered you back to Coruscant, effective immediately.” Anakin’s brows shoot upward. You can feel the surprise and blatant worry without having to see his face. “What?” he exclaims. “Wh-why?”

Krell crosses his arms across his chest. “I’m afraid a request has been made by the Supreme Chancellor and the council obliged. That is all they would tell me.” You purse your lips together and glance at Anakin, who in turn glances at you. “Well I can’t just leave my men and my padawan.”

“I’ll be taking over in the interim.” answers Krell. His tone comes out rather pushy, like he’s practically itching to take charge and put the 501st to death. The mere thought of what would happen after Anakin’s leave makes you shrink back. It’s a silent plea to your master not to go, but as everyone around here knows, orders are orders, even if they’re questionable.

Rex glances at you and then Anakin’s troubled expression. “Don’t worry about a thing, Sir.” he dutifully says. “We’ll have the city under Republic control by the time you’re back.” Anakin takes it upon himself to introduce the Captain to Krell, who in turn gives a simple ‘good to hear that’ and wishes Skywalker well.

Anakin turns to you and offers a comforting smile. For a moment, it makes the cold recede into warmth and love and light. “I know you’ll do fine.” He pats your shoulder in a silent telling to relax. “Master Krell, know that my padawan is more than capable both on and off the battlefield.”

“Of course.” You can’t tell if he’s sneering or not. His face is practically glued in a never ending scowl. “I will keep that in mind.” Anakin gives you one last nod and marches off to the gunship. You watch as it soars away, further and further until it’s hidden beneath the thick fog of the planet.

Rex makes his way over to Krell’s side. He says something, but you aren’t paying attention--well, until Krell speaks.

“I find it very interesting, Captain,” he begins, “that you are able to recognise the value of honour for a clone.” Your eyes widen. Oh the nerve.

“Stand at attention when I address you.” Krell adds. Rex’s shoulders stiffen and it takes all your willpower not to scream. You glance at the other boys silently watching the exchange with bated breath. They followed Rex’s display, keeping their shoulders back and heads tilted at a perfect ninety-degree angle. You frown to yourself as Krell looks down upon your men. “With all due respect Master Krell--”

He glances at you like you’re nothing more than the dirt beneath his feet. “No respect is due when you are interrupting me, Padawan (L/n). It would do you well to know where your place stands.” You open your mouth to say something, but Krell is already talking again. “Have all platoons ready to move out immediately.” He marches somewhere far from your sights and you really don’t care where in the galaxy he’s going as long as it’s away from you. “That is all.”

Fives sends you a look that you can’t even begin to explain. You sigh and it takes all your willpower not to say something snarky. Krell’s appearance was expected along with his terrible display of violence, but it wouldn’t have ever occurred to either of you that you’d be here to see it.

“He’s more of a jerk than I thought...” you whisper to yourself. Rex knits how brows together. He looks like he wants to chime in, but the swift flash of conflict in his heart tells him otherwise. It just wasn’t what a soldier was supposed to do. You were no soldier though, much less a Jedi Padawan at that.

Why should that matter? If you were here, on Umbara where all the wrongs could never be fixed by the rights, then you couldn’t think about not knowing what to do. Here, you were someone, not a nobody struggling through college or scraping by with whatever dollars you could spare. Here, you had people who relied on you to lead them to victory. To another day.

These men, these boys--they were bound to suffer a fate they had no say in because of the chips, because of Palpatine, because of all the corruption you saw on screen. Now, all this was more than a show. You were in it with living, breathing people. You wouldn’t let them down.

“Rex.” You turn to face him and lower your voice. Even if you’ve never spoke to him, interacted with him, or even looked him in the eyes like you do now, you speak to him like a friend, as if you’ve known him for all the years the war raged on.

“I don’t trust Master Krell.” you quietly begin. “I know you’ve heard good things about his...accomplishments, but that doesn’t mean we can follow him blindly into battle. If something’s up with his tactics, I won’t hesitate to change them. I’m not very good at that though, so I’m relying on you to help me.”

He doesn’t even hesitate to nod. “Yes, Sir. You have my word.” His trust and loyalty to you outranks the amount he’d give to Krell on every single level possible. It’s something you thought you’d never see--devotion to a single cause, a single person, in the face of battle. The only other person you had seen such loyalty in is Fives, but now, you’re beginning to understand the pattern, or rather, culture.

You heave in a deep breath and break from his intense gaze. “Thank you Rex, I really...I really appreciate it.” He seems to understand your unease and puts it upon himself to round up the platoons. “Alright boys!” he shouts. “You heard the Commander! Come on, let’s get a move on!”

Good man, that Rex.

---

Marching. That is what you’ve been doing for the past five hours, and if you remember correctly, you’ll be at it for another ten. It was a miracle you weren’t as worn as you could have been, but you guessed it was because of Fives’s energy. It kept you in step, in line with the rest of your men.

“So I say to her, baby you--”

Cue a long line of sighs and groans. “What is with you vod?” inquires Jesse. “You’re not charming Hardcase.” Kix bumps shoulders with Jesse. “Neither are you. Your cheesy jokes scare people away.” Hardcase sends Kix a funny look. “Not like you’re any better Mr. Pretty Boy, you don’t even carry lotion on you.”

Hardcase, Jesse and Fives burst into a tough fit of giggles. Kix goes silent for a moment, heaving in a sharp breath before actually laughing. You gape at him. It’s impossible to even begin imagining the stress he’s under after seeing so many of his brothers die in his arms. He’s a medic, but with that comes a responsibility greater than holding up the sky.

“You’re right about that.” Kix admits with another chuckle. “But at least I can read five textbooks in my spare time without getting bored.” Fives rolls his eyes and you almost smile. “Like that’s anything to brag about. Our Commander here can probably read ten.” You glance at Fives, who you can just tell is grinning madly under that bucket. “No I can’t.”

“Uh, yeah you can.” he sassily replies. “Throw a few reports on top of it and a due date, too. She’s amazing.” You glance at Kix, sensing his curiosity that seems to bloom as soon as your eyes meet his. Hardcase and Jesse are quick to catch on, glancing between you and Fives like it were a tennis match.

“Hmm... Something’s not right here.” Jesse comments, peering at Fives. You want to glare at your boyfriend, but how can you stay mad at him? He’s absolutely right about you and you know it.

Kix sends you both a look that clearly says, ‘are you gonna tell them?’. Now you glance at Fives, who then glances at you, which finally makes you turn to Kix and then the two curious boys. Jesse suddenly stumbles over a rock, not because he’s clumsy, but because he’s shocked.

Oh no.

“Not to be intrusive, but are you...?” Jesse tapped the air, as if connecting the dots. “No way. No way. Does anyone, you know, know?” Everyone eyes Rex, who’s only a couple meters up front. As if written in a book, Rex turns to look over his shoulder, his gaze so happening to zero on you and Fives.

“Why are you such a loud mouth Jesse?!” Fives whisper-screamed. You face-palm. “That wouldn’t have happened in the first place if we had, I don’t know, whispered?”

“How was I supposed to know? I didn’t think I was actually--”

“Quiet back there.” Rex’s steady voice orders. He slows his pace to match your own, tilting his line of view towards the group of rigid boys. “If you keep that up, you’ll find out a lot faster that not everyone is good at keeping secrets.” And with that, he nods your way, picking up the pace to settle back in his old spot.

Hardcase looks between his brothers and you. “I still don’t get it.”

You smile at him weakly. It’s all you can muster. Fives’s hand brushes yours; a silent sign of comfort. You look up at him, and even with that bucket, you know he’s smiling like you put all the stars up in the sky. All you know in that moment is if you were him, and he were you, neither of you would survive.

The galaxy is big, but the universe is wide.

DON’T FORGET TO REBLOG (so this can reach more people!) TIP JAR

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bobbystompy · 3 years

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My Top 88 Songs Of 2020

Previously: 2019, 2018, 2017, 2016, 2015, 2014, 2013, 2012, 2011

Though we couldn’t get as trim as last year’s 75, still very happy to keep this under 100 for the second year in a row. This was a very difficult year in many ways, but music helped make it more bearable.

As always, criteria and info:

This is a list of what I personally like, not ones I’m saying are the “best” from the year; more subjective than objective

No artist is featured more than once

If it comes down to choosing between two songs, I try to give more weight to a single or featured track

Each song on the list is linked in the title if you wanna check them out for yourself; there is also a Spotify playlist at the bottom that includes the majority of the songs

Usually a pump up video goes here, but 2020 had a different energy, so Michael, take us in.

88) Katy Perry - “Smile”

Even Katy Perry’s good songs are a swirling spiral of maxed out auto-tune. This one is just fine. It’s... fine.

87) All Time Low - “Trouble Is...”

Is All Time Low the Katy Perry of pop punk?

86) Tee Grizzley f/ Payroll Giovanni - “Payroll”

I have never heard of Payroll Giovanni, but I have two questions:

1) Is this his song, and he got Tee to jump on it?

2) Or, did Tee write a song called “Payroll” and think to himself “You know who would be great on this? Payroll Giovanni!”

Favorite stretch:

Listen, we is not the same, you say "door", I say "dough" You say "floor", I say "flow", you say "for sure", I say "fa'sho"

85) Lady Gaga & Ariana Grande - “Rain On Me”

Coming out in 2020 probably hurt this song, because I have no, like, out of the house memories with it. You can only have so much fun with Big Singers Singing over a pulsing beat when it’s coming from the phone in your kitchen as you’re indifferently scrambling eggs.

84) Benjamin Gibbard - “Life In Quarantine”

Now this is a song you can do nothing to; almost feels like it’s reluctant to even exist. It got released in March of 2020, so the outro (“No one is going anywhere soon”) served as a too sad reminder/mantra for what the year was about to be. Second shout out to Gibbard for the many YouTube sets he put together during the early stages of the pandemic (when so many of his peers were trying to figure out the next move).

83) Cardi B f/ Megan Thee Stallion - “WAP”

This felt less like a song and more of a “whoa, did you see the music video?!” and/or a means to relitigate the eternal question “What is the sexual line in music?” And while it was fun to watch people freak the fuck out... the quality itself really needed to be better.

(Note: YouTube video is the edited chorus; explicit version here)

82) McKayla Maroney - “Wake Up Call”

Former Olympic gymnast McKayla Maroney -- of medals and memes fame -- dips her toe into the music waters. It’s inside-the-box modern pop music. One thing that’s hard to escape: it doesn’t really sound like her.

81) Chelsea Cutler - “Sad Tonight”

He vocals really remind me of Alessia Cara.

80) blink-182 - “Quarantine”

Blink doing a Bad Religion impression. Docked a few points for the very weak chorus lyrics (“Quarantine, fuck this disease”). That said, as serious as the song comes off, there are some clever punchlines to be found.

79) Dave Hause & Brian Fallon - “Long Ride Home”

This is kind of a nothing song, but it’s easy listening. Also, if your guitar leads can’t clear the “Could Bobby have written or performed this?” bar, then said leads are probably pretty weak.

78) Travis Scott & Kid Cudi - “THE SCOTTS”

Two artists who pair so well together, it’s hard to tell who exudes more influence on the track (eh, that’s not true, it’s Travis Scott, but Kid Cudi is more of a roommate than guest). They want you to be high by the time the instrumental outro hits.

77) The Strokes - “Bad Decisions”

The beginning sound feels somewhat evolved, but by the time Julian Casablancas croons “Making bad decisions”, the song feels like it could be on their debut album “Is This It?”. And it goes in and out like that from there.

76) Thundercat - “Dragonball Durag”

Thundercat is one of those artists I wish I liked more, but when the occasional track does hit, it’s a momentary glimpse into what real fans seem to always see.

75) TI f/ Lil Baby - “Pardon”

Standard fare. Lil Baby’s cameo is very meh.

74) Porches - “Do U Wanna”

For a song that repeatedly asks “Do you want to dance?”, it sure makes you feel like you’re moving in slow motion.

73) NOFX - “Thatcher Fucked The Kids”

On the best-named album of the year (“West Coast vs. Wessex”), Frank Turner and NOFX cover each other’s material. To start us off, the legends take a song from 12 years ago about British politics from 40 years ago and, well, very easily apply it to right god damn now in America.

72) The Bombpops - “Dearly Departed”

Ahh, my year’s first cancelled concert. The listed names in V1 always make me want to skip this song -- but patience, grasshopper. Chorus is aight.

71) Ratboys - “Alien With A Sleep Mask On”

This band name will never match what the music sounds like.

70) Rolling Blackouts Coastal Fever - “She’s There”

The vocals in this song channel, like, four completely different singers for me, ranging from Bob Dylan to Cloud Nothings.

69) NOBRO - “Don’t Die”

An anthemic chorus meant to be belted in a room with sweaty strangers.

68) Oliver Tree f/ blink-182 - “Let Me Down”

The original solo version of this song is 1:52, and though the blink cameo pushes it over the dreaded two minute mark, it adds enough diversity to justify the choice (keep an eye out for the quick Green Day lyrical nod in the back half).

67) AJJ - “Normalization Blues”

This dropped in January, and if you thought the year was bad then. Punk News:

I'll admit I do want the album to age badly because I really don't want to have to listen to it years later and still say this is the world we're living in.

Said album being titled “Good Luck Everybody” is straight cryptic.

66) Selena Gomez - “Rare”

Very chill for big pop; triplet rhythm singing in the chorus gets me erry time.

65) Kid Cudi & Eminem - “The Adventures Of Moon Man & Slim Shady”

Cudi’s second split collab yields bigger results than his Travis Scott joint (admittedly with a worse beat here). It rarely ever hurts to let Eminem do the heavy lifting.

64) Alkaline Trio - “Smokestack”

A little cheerier than the average Alk3 song, but Dan Andriano seems like he’s been in a great place for a long time now; confident and in control. For me, the whole song builds up to the “You changed my life” chorus.

63) Frank Turner - “Scavenger Type”

Here, Frank takes on the acoustic closer to NOFX’s legendary 1994 album “Punk In Drublic”. Though the energy boost is most noticeable, my favorite part is how you can hear how much Turner loves this song as his melody bursts on the verses.

62) Mike Posner - “Alone In A Mansion”

Mike Posner, an artist I have a very soft spot for, released a storytelling concept album in 2020. From the intro track:

This album was written, recorded, and produced over a period of two weeks in Detroit, Michigan in my parents' basement. It's meant to be listened to all the way through. At least on the first listen. And it's about 36 minutes long. If you can't devote 36 minutes of undivided attention to this album, I again politely ask that you turn it off and return at a later time. I love you and I thank you for taking the time to listen in the first place. Also, it's important to note that the characters and the stories in this album are completely fictional. In addition, anyone struggling with a mental illness - depression, schizophrenia - should not listen to this album. Turn it off.

So those are the stakes. Pulling this song -- the record’s closer -- feels unfair void of context, but them’s the breaks.

61) Nada Surf - “Just Wait”

Heavy hitting chorus without having to be heavy; this could really work in a movie.

60) Matt Pond PA - “Wild Heart”

This having only 805 views on YouTube is criminal.

59) Liquid Death - “Unnecessary And Unimpressive”

Liquid Death -- in this iteration -- is a punk rock supergroup with members of Rise Against, Anti-Flag, The Lawrence Arms, and The Bombpops. If that didn’t interest you enough, all lyrics in the project (which, I believe, is for charity) come from hateful comments or negative reviews. Of the four artists involved, this sounds most like a Bombpops song, with Jen on lead vocals as others chime in.

58) PUP - “Rot”

Off my silver medalist for album name of the year (“This Place Sucks Ass”), PUP doesn’t do anything new here, but it was relieving to see them still going in 2020 when so many others got roadblocked, both physically and creatively.

57) Paul Harrold and the Nuclear Bandits - “Massanutten”

This reminds me of local Chicago artist Al Scorch. So much earnestness in the vocals, but a little more prairie for Harrold compared to speakeasy for Scorch. This would be a good road trip song. And I’m not talking about singalong... more for the stretch where you want to sit in silence and look out at the sun-kissed land blazing by. The song’s greatest victory is getting me to like something that cracks 6:00.

Note to future me: Massanutten is in Virginia (saved you a Google).

56) Kesha f/ Sturgill Simpson, Brian Wilson & Wrabel - “Resentment”

Kesha has been vulnerable in the past but never this stripped down sonically; the chorus would feel right at home on a country radio station. Love a good bridge, too.

55) Megan Thee Stallion f/ Beyoncé - “Savage (Remix)”

An up-and-comer pairing with a legend rarely lets down when both sides are this locked in. Bey wins. Fav line: “If you don't jump to put jeans on, baby, you don't feel my pain”.

She matches flows with Megan but also brings melody. Her blessing takes this song from pretty damn good to undeniably great.

That beat, too.

54) Red City Radio - “Baby Of The Year”

If all you want to do right now is grab a drink in a bar, here is a video built to troll.

(Also: a Liquid Death cameo?!)

53) Nathaniel Rateliff - “And It’s Still Alright”

The last time Mr. Rateliff had our attention, he just wanted a drink. That hit had a chorus with the very-sad-when-removed-from-the-song “If I can't get clean, I'm gonna drink my life away” lyric. Well, our man got sober since. And when the party is over, the introspection comes.

52) Direct Hit! - “HAVE YOU SEEN IT?”

Listening to slowed down Direct Hit! is like watching Usain Bolt lightly jog. It kinda makes sense because the core action is there, but it also feels sort of incorrect.

51) Hayley Williams - “Dead Horse”

Solo Hayley songs have this feel like they could do anything at any time... but then don’t. This one does the same until a very fun chorus breaks it up.

50) Kid Cudi f/ Phoebe Bridgers - “Lovin’ Me”

Probably the most improbable collab on this list (if 2020 hadn’t repeatedly taught us to not be surprised by anything).

49) The Homeless Gospel Choir - “Don’t Compare”

Listening to The Homeless Gospel Choir is kind of like getting a dedicated pep talk from a good friend... while fire rains down from the sky.

48) Carly Rae Jepsen - “Let’s Sort The Whole Thing Out”

Queen vocals with one prince of a tempo; this chorus is Sour Patch Kids riding Twix logs down a soda pop waterfall -- and it’s a b-side.

47) Green Day - “Meet Me On The Roof”

I like this song because it reminds me of summer and because it doesn’t really sound like Green Day (but still totally does).

46) Broadway Calls - “Meet Me On The Moon”

Promise -- swear -- I was gonna compare this Broadway Calls song to Green Day before realizing they both had titles about meeting in an escalated location. That said, I did put them next together on purpose to more coherently make this point.

45) David Rokos - “Building Bridges”

My buddy Dave wrote this song, and I think I’ve asked him three times what “burning sugar” meant (he says it’s a reference to absinthe). This song will make you want to travel to enjoy not only the places but the people around you.

44) Charli XCX - “claws”

Charli XCX keeps it futuristic in a video that could be described as sexy, cheesy, goofy, and playful-yet-serious.

43) Brian Fallon - “Lonely For You Only”

This is too easy and should not work (and maybe doesn’t). But that chorus... that circular phrasing... it still takes me all the way out. But I’m the same cat who proposed while a Gaslight Anthem cover was playing.

42) Waxahatchee - “Fire”

This song could be in a different language and hit just as hard.

41) Harry Styles - “Adore You”

Purifying pop.

40) Local H - “Hold That Thought”

Hardest rock song thus far. Local H was one of the first artists to play “live” once the lockdown hit (on a simultaneous YouTube/Facebook stream), and watching them attack music in their Chicago practice bunker felt a little bit like taking in the end of the world. New songs, old songs, covers -- it didn’t matter; their cool, unmatched apathy fits a pandemic or peacetime.

Ironically, was able to see them live in 2020, as they played a socially distanced, outdoor drive up concert in a minor league baseball parking lot. It wasn’t the same, but it was still something.

39) Crazy & The Brains - “I Don’t Deliver Pizza Anymore”

This song is just cool*. The verses feel tense and crucial, it starts to unspool in the pre-chorus, and the chorus itself feels like a light comedown more than anything else.

(* - though the lyric video is docked some points for spelling y’all as “ya’ll”)

38) Drake f/ Fivio Foreign & Sosa Geek - “Demons”

Menacing Drizzy can be very fun from time to time. Also more than happy to keep “Toosie Slide” very far away from this list.

37) Hey Dad!!! - “Life’s Alright”

Small band, big song; though summer feels light-years away.

36) insignificant other - “i’m so glad i feel this way about you”

This song lands a big haymaker in the first few seconds, so it was probably a good call to pull back some for the chorus and, eventually, outro.

35) BTS - “Dynamite”

Heard they made the lyrics bad on purpose for their English hit, which makes sense, because they’re bad. That said, if you listen knowing they’re supposed to be bad, it kinda makes them... good? Listen, 771 million views would have me singing nursery rhymes in Pig Latin.

34) DaBaby f/ RODDY RICCH - “ROCKSTAR”

Someone said this could be the song of the summer, but, because there wasn’t really a summer, I feel like I only heard it once all year. Also, are we really pretending Post Malone* didn’t just do a “like a rockstar” song three years ago?

(* - and N.E.R.D. before that and Cypress Hill before that... though N.E.R.D. only waiting a year after Cypress, so maybe DaBaby actually was patient)

33) The Front Bottoms - “the hard way”

Don’t take it easy on the animal / I am the animal

Not quite sure what this line means, but I fixate on the phrasing every single time. This song sounds resigned in a very self-aware way.

32) The 1975 - “If You’re Too Shy (Let Me Know)”

For a band called The 1975, they sure sound like they’re on their ‘80s shit here. Also, a real thing that happened:

Me: Is he coercing her to get naked?! I thought this band was woke.

/scans lyrics

/notices “She said” before the “Maybe I would like you better if you took off your clothes” line

Me: Ahh.

Sax solo, take us out.

31) Charly Bliss & PUP - “It’s Christmas And I Fucking Miss You”

A song that is already a forever staple on all my future Xmas playlists.

30) 2 Chainz f/ Ty Dolla $ign & Lil Duval - “Can’t Go For That”

Shorty said she love me / I said “I love me back”

This is a real genre blur; rap at its core, but also soulful, funky, and very danceable. Damn creative.

29) Billie Eilish - “Therefore I Am”

Billie's 2020 gave a few singles -- but no new album -- and a body shaming scandal where the backlash to the backlash probably caused more headlines than the tweet that started it all. Still, she stays on cruise control above the clouds; can all eyes be on you if they can’t even make you out?

Video for this is fun, too. Not sure if her running amok in an empty mall is more of a COVID necessity or commentary on the dying retail industry. As always with her, fill in your own blanks for now.

28) Future f/ Drake - “Life Is Good”

This was my most listened to rap song in the first half of the year, and bumping again now, almost forgot how good it is. Drake just chasing one-liner Instagram captions in the first half:

- “Haven’t done my taxes, I’m too turnt up”

- “N****s caught me slipping once, OK, so what?”

- “B****, this is fame not clout, I don’t even know what that’s about”

And, of course, “Workin’ on the weekend like usual”. The man could make anything glamorous. Let’s hit that H&R Block, bro!

Future’s back half is a totally different song and feels mostly like noise, but the vibe is cool, so I don’t even totally mean that in a bad way. You can even make out a “Got Promethazine in my blood and Percocet” lyric to mark your Future bingo card and immediately move on.

27) I’m Glad It’s You - “The Silver Cord”

This song feels like cold air blowing on the back of your neck.

(Sidebar: thought this band was called The Silver Cord until literally right now)

26) The Spill Canvas - “Mercy”

A dreamy, distorted, at-home version of whatever you remember The Spill Canvas sounding like. This song is confessional and at peace, with the Grade A self-loathing we’ve come to love from this band.

25) 100 gecs f/ Charli XCX, Rico Nasty & Kero Kero Bonito - “ringtone (remix)”

100 gecs first hit my radar with the explosively obnoxious “money machine”, but that’s a 2019er, so this remix to “ringtone” will have to do. It’s catchy like a younger sibling persistently singing a song you’re sick of hearing*.

(* - /only child trying to work in sibling analogies)

24) iann dior f/ Machine Gun Kelly & Travis Barker - “Sick And Tired”

Iann Dior -- ...yeah -- channels Juice WRLD on the hook, and MGK/Travis Barker buoy a track that, honestly, doesn’t really even need the help.

23) Nick Lutsko - “Unleash Your Spirit”

Lutsko hit my radar on Twitter with some legendary political anthems (word to the RNC and Dan Bongino + his Dashboard Trump parody). “Unleash Your Spirit” is the song I most fear hearing (or even thinking of) within a few minutes of going to bed. Not because it’s Halloween theme is scary -- because it’s that god damn catchy. It permeates your brain. True story: a week ago, I woke up in the middle of the night with “Bobbing for apples with the boys” so ingrained in my head, it felt like someone was standing there yelling it through a megaphone.

22) Dogleg - “Kawasaki Backflip”

Bad 2020 robbed many concerts from us, and not getting to see this band live might take the cake. I end the year liking them but could have been *all in* with the right performance and the right venue. Also, Song Title of the Year until further notice.

21) Eminem f/ Juice WRLD - “Godzilla”

Eminem has all of the words and all of the lyrical dexterity, but sometimes it feels like there isn’t anything to ground him. Enter: one of the best beats he’s ever spit on and a Juice WRLD hook to give it pop angle. But let’s not put Slim in the corner -- when he starts accelerating at the end, it’s is a true “holy fuck” moment. It sounds faster than if you actually fast forwarded.

The video ends with a touching audio message from Juice WRLD.

20) Soccer Mommy - “circle the drain”

This song is so gloriously ‘90s; it leans in and does not care.

19) Sam Russo - “Always Lost”

The first time I met you, we were on the last bus You passed me a bottle, and I knew you were one of us

Took 25 words to hook me; I was txting friends before the first chorus even hit.

18) Sincere Engineer - “Trust Me”

Deanna Belos pushes her vocals in this one. I asked about the performance, and she said it was one of the first ones they recorded in the studio, but when they were done and listening back to everything, she re-did this track because her throat was much more used to what the song required.

“That’s why it sounds like I’m on roids lol,” she added.

17) Jay Electronica f/ JAY-Z - “Flux Capacitor”

Jay Electronica signed to Roc Nation in November of 2010. At of the start of 2020, he had still -- STILL HOW FUCKING STILL -- not released a debut album. When he announced it was finally dropping in February, it was met with skeptic eyes. He’d “announced” before. Shit, he’d even posted track lists of albums that never saw the light of day. He was a tease’s tease. It ended up getting a release date of March 12. As the pandemic got really bad in the March 11 zone, he finally had an actual reason to delay the proceedings (the plan: a studio live stream listening party*).

But no -- this is Jay Electronica. Why wouldn’t he drop as the world was ending? The same reason why his costar wouldn’t not have a watch like a Saudi prince. It had to end for it to happen. I wish I saved the memes, because they were fantastic. All I have is my own Twitter memory to prove it happened:

I love this song entirely: the “get the gat” hook (soooo New Orleans), Hov calling out the NFL/acquaintances clout chasing his potential death/rapping forever bars, Jay Elect’s ham-fisted and awkward ass Farrakhan line. Everything is exactly where it should be.

Final verdict on the full album: I don’t know, a B or B+? It had a lot more Jay-Z than expected (wooo), but -- and I rarely say this -- it could have actually been longer.

16) New Found Glory - “Greatest Of All Time”

NFG with a song referencing the Jordan-Rodman-Pippen Bulls only a few months before “The Last Dance” aired. Dare we call it marketing genius? The punk beat does not care; the punk beat is too busy taking souls.

15) Dave Hause f/ Amythyst Kiah & Kam Franklin - “Your Ghost”

“I can’t breathe”

On the heels of the George Floyd/BLM protests came Dave Hause’s somber attempt to capture the moment, desperation, and hurt. On a podcast, he said he was aware he might not ever lead the movement but still wanted to contribute something in an effort to use his platform as a white artist to change someone, anyone’s mind going forward.

14) Taylor Swift - “this me trying”

The chorus makes me feel like the crowd is parting like the Red Sea on a high school -- shit, no, middle school -- dance floor; smoke machine and all. Your crush is waiting for you on the other side. What are you going to say?

13) Phoebe Bridgers - “Kyoto”

Phoebe is one of the best lyricists out because of her specificity, but even though this song is about her dad, you can really fit it to your own narrative.

12) The Lawrence Arms - “Last, Last Words”

The Lawrence Arms wrote their new record (which singer Chris McCaughan described as “this end of the world outpost”) prior to the pandemic, but once you start to process album themes -- and research its namesake -- you do wonder. All of this, combined with some “Catcher In The Rye” references, and we’ve got ourselves a winning formula.

Dressed to kill for oblivion

11) New Lenox - “Fairytale Of Gary, Indiana”

Your boy plays drums and is on the cover art for this one. Dave Rokos wrote the tune, which references The Pogues’ “Fairytale of New York”. Good news: no slurs in the Gary version. We’ll have you in and out in 90 seconds. Also: say hello to the recording debut of Alisa Caruso (some backup vox at the end).

10) Beach Slang - “Tommy In The 80s”

My most played song of 2020, but it really was more of a byproduct of how early in the year the album dropped. I’m still such a sucker for it, though. Other than forced nostalgia, not totally sure what the track is about. Did learn Beach Slang recruited former Replacements bassist Tommy Stinson to play on their LP, which was named -- /deepest of breaths -- “The Deadbeat Bang of Heartbreak City” (so maybe it has something to do with that).

9) Juice WRLD f/ Mashmello - “Come & Go”

The :55 mark. Wait until the :55 mark. When the guitar kicks in and tempo doubles, we have a real “oh, shit!” moment. I knew who Juice was when he passed but only “Liquid Dreams”. His 2020 album (“Legends Never Die”) showed us of what could have been; 55 minutes, loaded with cameos and creativity and experimentation. This song had me in its gravitational pull immediately. By the end of the year, they were using it on sports broadcasts, and it felt like a ubiquitous part of the culture.

One of my favorite days of 2020 was visiting the Juice mural in Chicago with my wife. We went impulsively during the day after someone posted a picture on Twitter.

I snapped one of my own and posted to IG with the Signals Midwest lyric “There is such quiet grace in private moments in public spaces”. The band responded with “RIP JUICE”; the perfect online exchange.

Shortly after, I was out with a different group of friends, and we went back at night. This time, it was protected by a fence you had to squeeze past. When we got through, there were kids in there smoking, taking pictures, just hanging out; empty liquor bottles lined the bottom of the mural. Even though it didn’t take all that long to make it there, it still felt like a journey and total ‘movie moment in real life’; a complete rarity in a year like 2020.

8) Mac Miller - “Good News”

Maybe I’ll lay down for a little...

Sadly continuing the theme of artists gone too soon, we have this reflective Mac Miller single, which feels more like self-eulogy than traditional rap. You feel it the entire time. The song crests with “There’s a whole lot more for me waitin’ on the other side”, and it conveys a readiness for whatever happens next.

7) The Dirty Nil - “Done With Drugs”

I don’t pray to Jesus or even own a suit

We lost the creators of our last two songs to substances, and, if we are to take this song at face value, The Dirty Nil don’t want to go down the same path. Drying out never sounded so cool and defiant... until the IKEA suggestion.

6) The Weeknd - “Blinding Lights”

Uptempo Abel is undefeated. My favorite pop song of 2020 has you feeling like you’re speeding through the empty streets of nighttime Las Vegas in a stolen car; indifferent to your environment, only tuned in to your personal desire.

And, on the lamer side of the spectrum, it spawned a catchy TikTok dance.

5) Spanish Love Songs - “Self-Destruction (As A Sensible Career Choice)”

It won’t be this bleak forever... yeah, right.

SLS has always been over-the-top with their lyrics spotlighting the hopelessness of the human condition -- so it was the *perfect* combo to being locked inside with nothing looking to forward to. Bonus: fun cake video.

Though the song’s core is uncut despair, a random moment I remember from 2020 was my wife telling me “I can hear you smiling as you’re singing” from another room as I belted the despondent chorus.

4) Worst Party Ever - “False Teeth”

This song sounds like The Front Bottoms; insecure yet so full.

3) Run The Jewels - “the ground below”

There were a lot of songs *about* 2020, but I’m not sure any artist soundtracked what being alive now is like more than RTJ. My favorite rap song and rap record of 2020.

Fav Killer Mike line: “Not a holy man, but I'm moral in my perversiveness / So I support the sex workers unionizing their services”

Fav El-P line: “I'll slap a dying child he don't pronounce my name correct”

2) The Menzingers - “America Pt. 2″

The Menzingers unexpectedly released an acoustic, re-done version of 2019′s “America (You’re Freaking Me Out)” single. It dropped on my birthday -- June 5th, 2020 -- as the rage in this country boiled over and protesters took to the streets. Though some of the lyrics remained the same, the new ones were changed with true purpose:

Well George Floyd was murdered by a cop The whole world saw the video and watched Now justice is long overdue Grab your pitchforks, we’re heading to Pennsylvania Avenue

I had nothing left when the first pre-chorus hit: “I hope the Devil and Donald and Mitch McConnell rot in hell for all tomorrows”. Tattoo this on my fucking soul.

All funds from the song were donated to Community Bail Funds (via Act Blue) & Campaign Zero. I purchased the track before hearing a note.

1) Machine Gun Kelly - “My Bloody Valentine”

Going into the year, I couldn’t tell you the difference between Machine Gun Kelly and Mac Miller -- now they’re both fixtures in this Top 10. All I really knew about MGK involved tattoos and a rap battle lost to Eminem (not that anyone ever beats Eminem).

In 2020, he took a punk/emo turn, with the services of GOAT drummer Travis Barker and new squeeze Megan Fox at his side. This song’s lyrics could potentially be cheesy but aren’t -- they all land. From the simulation going bad to not wanting “fake love” to all the damn second guessing and the earnestness that just won’t let you off the mat.

Every piece to the puzzle adds something: the messy hair, the Ken doll build, the forced iconic pink guitar that now feels actually iconic. It was almost like no one had any fun this year so he could have all of it on our behalf. There’s a half second shot of him sticking his tongue our during the pre-chorus, a joy 99.99% of us never got to feel.

The album itself was just as fantastic*; a 2000′s pop punk throwback with a Halsey duet, horrible skits (hi, Pete Davidson FaceTime), OpIvy lyrical nod (complete with a royalty check), a warp speed punk track that doesn’t even crack the minute mark, your token 6/8 ballad, acoustic closer (about his daughter), and some experimentation that leaves the new genre but still stays nearby; shades of Lil Peep, if he had Blink-182 as his backing band. Speaking of, please do not miss Travis’ fill at the 2:30 mark.

(* - named “Tickets To My Downfall”... woof)

MGK could get cancelled tomorrow, but we’ll always have this year in a bottle. The acoustic version of the song (sung in a lower resister), the 10 minute making of video (that I watched, uh, twice)... shit, he even turned it into a medley at the start of 2021.

It might be cliche to say “stay winning”, but when someone stacks this many W’s with no end in sight, what the fuck else do you call it? Real love.

* * *

Thank you so much for reading. Here is the Spotify playlist (includes 87 of the 88 songs).

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heartsawaken · 3 years

Text

beneath the cut you will find headcanons that have collected in my mind lately of my muse , miles oh , a twenty - three year old social media influencer and youtuber who is a part of sky house . ( tagging @ofblueflames so she can read all about him tomorrow c: )

✶ he does not drink soda . a majority of his caffeine intake is from fruit based black teas . any energy drink he’s ever seen drinking is either because of sponsorship with the company ( and honestly he doesn’t really even drink them . they just are props ) or because he really fucked up and is pulling an all-nighter or two in order to catch up on any film editing he needs to finish . but in general he isn’t the biggest fan of the carbonation .

✶ has a cup of tea every night at around 8pm , a habit he picked up from his grandparents during the short amount of time he lived with them before moving into the sky house . normally makes his tea and curls up on the couch with a book and reads for about half an hour or however long it takes to finish the cup .

✶ prefers working alongside family owned and/or small businesses when it comes to promoting and sponsoring their products . while he has no issue asking for big bucks from big corporations he normally just asks if he can have one or two outfits / a three course meal / etc on the house to advertise and if they don’t see an influx on their customer base from the posts he’s made using those free items offered than he’ll pay them x - amount of times the costs for not only receiving free things but also for not being able to keep his word . ( he’s never had to do that . but he’s given money to them anyways . )

✶ recently bought a cockatiel who he named r2 because he plans on teaching him how to make all the noises that r2d2 does from star wars .

✶ claims that he doesn’t like k - pop groups that much but could probably not only name , but do the dance ( at least the chorus ) of any group . honestly he just has too much time on his hands . . . and by that i mean he hates editing and will find any way to put it off . if you want to hear to his top 25 , you can click [ this link ] and it’ll take you to a spotify playlist for him :]

✶ two main games he plays are animal crossing new horizons and minecraft . he did one time do a pokemon sun nuzlocke video though . his youtube channel is most viewed for his true crime ( much like the crime junkies podcast ) cooking series and conspiracy mukbangs . while of course he would never admit it to anybody outside of sky house , his cooking series is done while he is high and honestly devolves usually into him giving his own theories on what happened and who did it while eating the uncooked or half - finished meals .

✶ the house has a douchebag jar for him because he doesn’t really think about what he says before saying it and whoever has faced the brunt of his words most at the end of the month gets the contents as retribution .

✶ played among us for all of like a day before getting so frustrated he flung his phone across his room and put a hole in the wall , cracking its screen because he kept fat fingering the report button as imposter and outing himself .

✶ his body temperature runs high for the average person so he gets hot very easily .

✶ when he’s driving it is his own personal rule that he must play fergilicious at the highest acceptable volume and sing it word for word . that or my humps .

✶ is one of the oldest in the group but acts like one of the youngest . he can flip older brother / dad mode on really quickly though , just like he can go from being drunk to drunk but seemingly sober need the situation arose .

✶ was involved in a lot of fights at school growing up both on and off campus . he doesn’t like doing it anymore but has no problem throwing punches if someone is actively threatening , swinging at the younger members of sky hose , or because they swung first . he’s pretty calm in those situations when sober but it’s when he’s been drinking that it really comes out .

✶ hates beer and wine , hard liquor only . occasionally will drink wine at any fancy restaurants he goes to or just orders the most expensive whiskey on the rocks .

✶ loves sharks and definitely owns two of the almost two foot long shark plushies from ikea . originally only left with one but went back for another because ‘ he needed a friend . ‘ both are on his bed and he actually sleeps with them .

✶ the wall that his bed is against has a bunch of sharpie drawings and writing on it from nights where he can’t sleep and needs to get his thoughts out so he can go to sleep . it helps him fall asleep and some of his most honest highkey sad admissions and thoughts are on that wall .

✶ talented artist who makes some pretty gorgeous scenery paintings . can draw realistic people , but tends to draw little chibi - esque sketches ( think anelderlymeme on tiktok ? ) and makes little comic skits and pages . he is self - taught and picked painting and drawing up as a hobby when he was seven .

✶ dreads any family visits because it means sitting through a dinner of being constantly berated and spoken poorly about because he’s not as successful or as intelligent ( seemingly ) as his younger sister and for the fact that he “ doesn’t have a real job “ .

✶ attending the university of seoul on a business major in marketing and advertising . his grandparents know , and a few members of sky house but it isn’t something he talks about regularly because he hates school talk and avoids it at all costs .

✶ tough talk for someone who is actually extremely sensitive , though he will never let people see just how much their words actually upset him . he’ll wait until he’s alone and / or the adrenaline has passed to cry over it .

✶ his main causes of crying is homesickness and online hate . he wants to go home so badly , even if it’s just to visit but doesn’t want to deal with his family . it’s just not worth it in the long run . he also takes a lot of online hate to heart even though he knows that its from people who don’t know him and have any right speaking so poorly of him .

✶ avid reader of pretty much everything . the bookshelf in his room is filled completely with books , and there are even books he recently bought and are waiting to be read sitting on top of it .

✶ absolutely loves snow . he will spend hours outside until his nose is red as can be , his fingers and toes are numb and his clothes are soaked through . he loves the cold in general since he’s often so warm .

✶ loves to cuddle and tends to sleep better if he’s hugging something or somebody , the latter will put him to sleep almost immediately .

✶ almost every time he and his brother are together it ends up in a physical altercation . his brother likes to dig his fingers into every single wound that miles has about himself and his family and his parents allow it , but every time miles throws a punch or tackles his brother to the ground are surprised . it takes a lot to get both boys off of each other because if both aren’t restrained they’ll still go after the other .

✶ absolutely adores his sister though . she’s his biggest fan and adores him just as much .

#ｍｉｌｅｓ ▸ ａｌｌ !#ｍｉｌｅｓ ▸ ｍｕｓｉｎｇｓ !

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go-events · 4 years

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GO Rom Com Spotlight: @epi-vet

The most excellent @epi-vet (also Epivet on AO3 and epivet on Spotify) has claimed Persuasion to adapt for Good Omens in the Good Omens Rom Com Event.

For reference, here’s a little background about the source material!

About Persuasion: Eight years ago, Anne Elliot rejected Frederick Wentworth, the man she loved, out of a sense of duty and obedience. Now an ignored and faded spinster, she follows her financially stricken family from their home, only to be reintroduced to the now successful and wealthy Captain Frederick Wentworth. With their roles reversed and Captain Wentworth the eligible and wealthy bachelor, Anne navigates the scheming society that still tries to keep them apart.

We spent some time chatting about how the adaptation is coming so far, as well as future plans for it! Now, get to know @epi-vet a little better!

* * *

goromcom: You know how if you open a Tumblr chat with someone you haven't chatted to before, Tumblr tells you two things they post about? I wanted to tell you that yours reports that you post "about #geeky data and #good omens". I can appreciate someone with an affinity for geeky data. Can you share any sort of interesting geeky data with us?

epi-vet: #Geeky data is fun, but my favorite homegrown tag is #QuantifiedFandom. In the real world, I work with a lot of data for modeling and prediction. I liked the idea of using those skills to understand the fandom better by looking at the data crumbs around it. Right after I saw the show, I was intrigued by how quickly Good Omens playlists multiplied on Spotify. Then I did what any totally health sane person would do. I downloaded 300 Good Omens themed playlists and started crunching numbers. Throughout the summer and fall, more and more playlists were popping up. I did a second pretty exhaustive pull of 1400 playlists in December. I analyzed the most common songs, length of playlists, artists, differences between playlist themes (Ineffable Husbands versus Demon Crowley), and more. Two of the top four songs weren’t even in the show (#1 Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy and #4 From Eden). Bob Dylan’s You Angel You is the most underappreciated Ineffable Husbands song. “You angel, you; You got me under your wing...” Really. Google the lyrics, we’ll wait.

I’m epivet on Spotify where you can find the top 100 songs from Good Omens-themed playlists, the top 50 Ineffable Husbands songs, and my own scene by scene playlist with links to a Google doc explaining each selection and identifying key lyrics because, again, totally healthy sane person here. I’m also running the GORomCom discord-created playlists as well.

goromcom: And I listen to those playlists a lot! Thank you! But on to your rom com! You chose to adapt Persuasion. Has this story been a favorite of yours, or is there some other reason you chose it?

epi-vet: I’m a longtime Jane Austen fan. I love how she pokes at the constraints and absurdities of her time. Persuasion is my favorite because the characters are more mature, more human. Anne breaks off her engagement with Wentworth, and while she regrets how things have turned out 7 years later, she also can still see the reasonableness of her choice. The story has one villain and some unsavory characters, but many of the characters are complicated people who make the best decisions they can (except for Anne’s father who is ridiculous).

The 1995 movie is infinitely better than the 2007 one; I will brook no argument.

goromcom: I wouldn’t dare! :) What's your favorite moment of the story, and are you looking forward to presenting it in your adaptation? Any loose plans for that scene that you can share?

epi-vet: Wentworth’s letter to Anne in the dramatic climax: You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope. Tell me not that I am too late, that such precious feelings are gone for ever. I offer myself to you again with a heart even more your own than when you almost broke it, eight years and a half ago. *swoon*

I’m still working that scene out, so I’ll instead share some fun I’m having making poor Gabriel my comic relief. The book opens with the Anne’s father reading his own entry in the Baronetage. His rank defines him, so reading a Who’s Who provides him the reassurance he needs. Gabriel begins my RomCom loudly reading his visitation of Mary, especially loving the “Fear not, Mary” line. He soon after complains to Michael “[the humans] don’t even cower before us. Really, when was the last time we had to say, ‘Be not afraid?’” He also serves as my Lady Dalrymple in the Italian concert scene from the 1995 movie. Aziraphale is trying to keep Crowley from leaving (due to genre typical misunderstandings), and Sandalphon is pulling him back saying Gabriel needs him to explain the buffet – he’s worried he’ll Fall if he eats shellfish.

goromcom: Oh goodness, so many angel/demon shenanigans. I can’t wait. Other than those details, do you plan to stick very closely to the beats of the original story, or make bigger changes?

epi-vet: I think one of the best Jane Austen adaptations ever is Clueless. When we watch a period drama, we view everything through a buffer of temporal distance. Everything is slightly foreign, and it can soften the impact that a contemporary reader would have felt. I suspect viewers of Clueless, in some ways, have an experience much closer to Jane Austen’s readers’ experience of Emma.

I’m taking the plot of Persuasion and applying it as closely as I can to our characters from the moment the tv show ends. I did lots of character mapping and tried to stay true to the heart of the work, like Amy Heckerling did to Emma in Clueless. I did end up with one original character because I just couldn’t figure out how to work the plot with only Good Omen canon characters.

goromcom: I’m actually a big fan of Clueless as an Austen adaptation too, so I like where you’re going with this.

Let me see if I can get one more tidbit out of you before I stop! What's an interesting decision you've made in your planning so far--a notable casting decision, a changing of venue, or some other plan you have to paint Good Omens all over your rom com?

epi-vet: Since I’m writing it as post canon in the Good Omens universe rather than putting Aziraphale and Crowley into Regency Britain, I get off easy there. I am trying to take a lot of the dialog between Aziraphale and Crowley from the show and flip it. So Aziraphale is the one who needs to do something or Crowley will never speak to him again. Aziraphale is unforgiveable. Also, I’m including some nods to the Good Omens book. Crowley takes the properly demonic activity of gluing coins to the sidewalk into the tech age with an app. It, of course, backfires spectacularly. I also have a hopefully charming and funny Golden Girls reference.

goromcom: Always down for a Golden Girls reference. Rose is my homegirl. But let’s leave some things undiscovered until your story debuts, and move on to the final question. I am blatantly stealing this last question from The Good Place: The Podcast, but here goes: Tell me something "good". It can be something big or small. It can be a charity you think is doing good work, or you can talk about how great your pet is.

epi-vet: RIPMedicalDebt. For pennies on the dollar, you can wipe out someone’s medical debt. For everyone outside the US, this is a completely bizarre concept, but it’s a big deal in the US. Medical debt happens when you lack health insurance or have limited health insurance. You didn’t charge too much on your credit card. You didn’t buy a house you can’t afford. Something happened to your health, you sought the care you needed, and you are now destitute. These debts don’t get paid back often so they get bundled and sold to various institutions. RIPMedicalDebt buys those debts cheaply and then forgives the balances owed. Individuals, community organizations, churches, and other groups have used them to do immense good.

goromcom: So important, and I had no idea this existed. Thank you for sharing it with us.

And also, thank you for sharing details of your upcoming GO adaptation of Persuasion, coming very soon now!

#goromcom #goromcom spotlight #good omens #epi-vet #persuasion

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