#the people who's names are all but gone

[carsonjonesfiance]

And I love how gay unemployed 20 somethings on think that a vast interconnected network involving the US government, independent media, Verizon, etc, conspired to delete a couple dozen blogs on a dying blogging platform is somehow more likely than a gay unemployed twenty something disillusioned with American politics unknowingly following a sockpuppet account or two back in 2016.

#there’s a certain narcissism inherent in all Russian Troll denialism #in that the most ardent deniers are almost always people who followed several of these blogs and had their politics influenced #but don’t want to admit that they were duped #because guess what! 80% of what those blogs said was designed to line up with their intended audience’s beliefs! that’s how it works #and then they would drop in the suggestion of voter disengagement and/or boost other people encouraging the same #and for the last time there have been like over 100 blogs deleted and not a one of them has had someone come forward as wrongfully terminate #like with the recent fiasco with a trans girl getting deleted because she said mean things about the CEO we have a face and a name #and a Twitter alt!!! #but LAGoneGirl is still gone? Bellygangstaboo is belly gangsta WHO #no one has come forward and I think that says something!

[its-captain-sir]

changing your name when you're trans is kinda the expected action, which it's awesome that's it's so normalized and accepted and everything, but honestly shoutout to all those who decide to keep their name, even as they transition or figure out more about their gender identity. to those who, regardless of their name's typical connotations that may or may not align with their gender presentation, end up sticking with it anyways. to those who take their name and make it completely 100% their own, everything else be damned. I see you, I feel you, and I hope you're having a wonderful day <3

#major respect for everyone who's gone through a name change or even multiple! #but to all the trans people that haven't: this one is for you <3 #megan.txt

[crazy-fangirl2524]

And what if I say castle crumbling by Taylor Swift is a riko Moriyama song??

#listen listen listen #in rikos pov he is the king he is the king of the castle evermore castle and people love him his fans adore him #but after everything after Neil josten his perfect court is gone #his castle literally crumbled and is dismantled because of Neil #and people who use to love him (Kevin ) (ik it’s not actual love but Kevin himslef grieves riko and anyways) #Kevin used to love and adore him and now he hates him and left him and riko is so angry #they use to chant my name but now they hate me #never wanted you to hate me #riko never wanted to lose Kevin he needs Kevin just as much as Kevin needs him #I hate riko moriyama #but just think about it omg #aftg #all for the game #tfc #the foxhole court #aftg series #aftg fandom #aftg incorrect quotes #Kevin day #riko moriyama #jean moreau #the sunshine court #nora sakavic #aftg shitpost #aftg thoughts #aftg textpost #aftg reread #aftg kevin #aftg riko #incorrect tfc

[moonlightdancer26]

Me when I remember that Snape would’ve not only been much happier in life but would have so many less tiring debates about him if he had just remained a loyal Death Eater instead of defecting and sacrificing himself for a world that hated him while getting nothing in return:

#LIKE BRO #HE WOULD HAVE BEEN SO MUCH MORE RELAXED #MANS SPENT 17 YEARS STUCK IN A PLACE FILLED WITH SO MUCH TRAUMA WHILE BEING SURROUNDED BY PEOPLE WHO HATED HIM #LILY ENDED UP DYING AND SNAPE DIED THINKING HARRY WAS GOING TO DIE TOO (HE DIED NEVER KNOWING THAT HARRY WAS A HORCRUX) #MEANING LILY’S SACRIFICE WAS IN VAIN AND HE SPENT HALF HIS LIFE GOING THROUGH SO MANY LENGTHS FOR NOTHING #AND HE WAS WILLING TO DIE A VILLAIN IN EVERYONE’S EYES IF IT MEANT LILY’S SON COULD LIVE #IF HE GAVE LILS THE MIDDLE FINGER HE WOULDA JUST GONE AWAY AND DID DEATH EATER SHIT WITHOUT HAVING A CARE IN THE WORLD #AND STUPID SNATERS WOULDN’T FEEL THE NEED TO ‘‘clarify’’ THAT HE WAS A BULLY AND A HORRIBLE PERSON #BECAUSE THEN WE’D JUST KNOW AND ACCEPT THAT HE’S AWFUL LIKE WE DO WITH BELLATRIX AND TOMMY #AND THEREFORE SNAPE FANS WOULDN’T BE CALLED ‘‘abuse apologists’’ OR ATTACKED FOR THE MERE MENTION OF HIS NAME #ALL OF US WOULD BENEFIT FROM IT IF SEVERUS JUST CHOSE NOT TO BE A HERO #i apologise for the rant i’m just very fed up with this dude #stop caring about some loser redhead AND DABBLE IN SOME SELF-CARE FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE #smfh #again i apologise #and if you came this far i’m just downright surprised #anti snaters #severus snape #pro snape #pro severus snape #snape #harry potter #hp

[fandomfan315]

Jon - "Well, let me know if you see any good cows-"

Martin - "Obviously I'm going to tell you if I see any good cows"

[Ep 160: The Eye Opens, ~7:55]

I don't recall if I've posted much Magnus Archive content here but <3 I do enjoy it like a dessert sometimes. Anyways I'm obsessed w their dynamic this was so married of the two SKNFSNFN

#the magnus archives #tma #tma quotes #jon and martin #jon the archivist #martin tma #martin the magnus archives #tma podcast #dee speaks #the lengths ive gone to get zero spoilers... insane #i have every tma tag BLOCKED on all my social medias LMAO #the only things i knew beforehand: #jon and martin get together rlly rlly late in the series #and Not Sarah(sara?) was. yk. Not Her. #and im so sad i got the not sarah one spoiled CUZ I LISTENED TO THE FUCKIN TRAILER FOR THAT SEASON #AND THEY WERE ALL LIKE '[actress name] who voices Not Sarah' #and i was like FUCK. SHIT. NOW I KNOW SMTHS WRONG WIT HER #but anyways its ok its ok we all good we all good #its so hard to doodle for this fandom cuz its a fkcin PODCAST and i have no ability to Visualize People #fun fact im lowkey faceblind so that absolutely does not help when i think of jon n martin n whatnot #when im done w this damn podcast you bet your ASS ill be reblogginf ALL OF THE SHIT and drawing EVERYONE #The White Vault and The Magnus Archives have that Weird Suspense thing going and im down bad for it fr #edit: SASHA NOT SARAH IM DUMB SRRY LMAO

[magnusbae]

Nothing hurts me quite as much as reading perfect slowburn with compelling and deeply in character interactions that are swiftly replaced by some professional lemon doppelgangers during the smut and after 😔😔😔

#like if you wouldnt show great understanding of canon compliant characteristics i wouldnt be as upset #but going from a character who cannot morally accept even looking at character B nor ever using slang to suddenly saying 'baby' and shaggin #within the paragraph is such a massive whiplash i simply cannot handle #also people assuming that once you start dating it's all easy smooth sailing with pet names and domestic bliss #WHERE IS THE AWKWARD EXCITEMENT #where is the uncertainty if they're dating like THAT #or like THIS #where is the first dates and the first hand holding and the first gifts #where is the charafter flaws from the slowburning part and the relapse under stress or when buttons are pressed #(for example not expressing feelings or being secretive or getting insedure) #(those things are not forever gone after shagging or getting together they come back to bite) #i dont know i am just so so so so so starved for slowburns AFTER the Shag/Confession.... #i know ...i know i should probably just....uh....oh.....write #buns.txt

[dirtytransmasc]

Are yyou team green or black? And why?

team green, though I'm not in support of every green character (namely Otto though my opinion of him is complicated. I also have opinions on Aegon and his characterization that makes it even more complicated)

[I have only read bits and pieces of the book, so my opinion is based almost solely on the show. keep this in mind]

I'm team green for 3 big reasons. they're more complex, thought not perfect by any means, more morally "right", and are simply more my vibe when it comes to characters. now this is very simplified and not at all nuanced, so stick with me for a minute.

Firstly, they're more complex. the greens have very deep, detailed, and nuanced lives and stories that lead to them being very complex characters that can't be put into a box. Alicent was a child bride who had lost her mother young became a mother young and suffered at the hands of power and men all her life. her children were affected by this and the world they were forced to grow up in throughout their lives. even individually her kids are drastically different; aegon the child who was forced into a life he did not want and suffered due to his father neglect and mother pain. Helaena who was never understood and grew up treated like an oddity. Aemond who was never seen to his full potential, always ignored or looked over, angry throughout his life. each of them has strengths and weaknesses, flaws and benefits, they're imperfect but never completely horrid. they're also never simplified (not entirely, even when the plot and writers seek to simplify them) to the point that they put on a moral pedestal or made straight evil (i'd even argue that the attempts of the writer to oversimplify them as evil and in the wrong makes them 10x more fascinating). I find TB characters tended to miss the mark on that, always put in the moral light, not even allowed a moment to reflect on their actions, lives, or positions in any nuanced or meaningful way, so they always just feel dull. they're also out on a moral highground that they can never be budged from, which makes them harder to like and honestly, really boring. they get away with everything instead of being emotionally and morally nuanced.

secondly, they're more morally "right". I will never say that any of the greens are perfect, they are far from it (with the exception of Helaena and her kids, who have done literally nothing to anyone, but I digress). what I will say, 9/10 times there is some level of reasoning that has some level of reasoning. Alicent always tries to do whats best for everyone, all throughout the series she tried to do best by the court, the king, her children, the realm, and Rhaenyra. did she always succeed? no, but she always tried and her mistakes were almost always honest. I will say she held resentment towards Rhaenya, but honestly, I can't blame her. Rhaenyra's lies and behavior hurt Alicent over and over again so for her to be angry is expected.when it came to succession, Alicent backed Rhaenyra until it was made clear she and Daemon would be a threat to her children's lives and even than she held mercy for Rhaenyra. Aegon's drinking can be blamed on the abuse and neglect he suffered at Viserys, Otto, and Alicent's (though the abuse and neglect from his mother is insanely different and nuanced. she perpetuated her pain onto him because she couldn't heal herself. so I hesitate to call it abuse, cause its so much more complicated than that) hands. though nothing will justify his rape of Dyana, I personally think it was a bad add in on the writers part, and leave it at that. Aemonds rage after years of being ignored doesn't entirely justify what he did to luke, but he had reason for his cruelty after years of Luke (and jace tbh) being cruel just because they could. TB characters tend to do terrible things in response to either A. nothing B. their own terrible things. Daemon kills who he wants when he feels like it, even for stating facts. Rhaneyra will lie and hurt those around her to protect her bastard children. both of them conspire to protect themselves and allow themselves to be wed, really just cause. while there are times they have their reasons, its a lot less of the time, and typically the backing to their actions, is they were trying to unbury themselves from within their own graves. (to preface, I don't care about rhaenyra sleeping around, it doesn't bother me, but its the fact that she will hurt everyone around her to protect her lies, allowing a child to be maimed and people to be murdered)

thirdly, they're my vibe. I like morally complex character, who are, to be frank, pathetic. I like characters with complex trauma's and issues, who aren't perfect people but its not entirely their fault. I would much rather watch a whole show about alicent, a child bride who tries so hard to be a good wife, queen, and mother while not prepared for any such role. Aegon who is a boy with severe mommy and daddy issues, a drinking problem, a flawed past, and constantly wet eyes. Helaena an ignored girl who has suffered for no better reason then her family. and Aemond, a boy who was tormented, bullied, maimed, and made stronger by it at the cost of his compassion and emotional stability - over a nepo baby who was coddled by her father, her murderous husband with a knack for unneeded violence, and her similarly coddled children (the show boiled them down to this, in my opinion). one is simply more up my alley than the other. I want character that need to be dissected, who have suffered, who hurt me to look at.

also, team black created almost all of their own problems. seeing as the main source of contention had to do with Rhaenyra's kids being bastards, which was Rhaenyra's problem, which she caused, and kept digging and digging that grave (faking Laenors death just so she could marry daemon, turning the blame on aemond when luke maimed him furthering the divide amongst the house, trying to wed Helaena to Jace putting her in danger, trying to take the driftmark throne and killing Vaemond for a claim her sons did not have, etc,) till viserys's death, earns her a lot less pity from me. at the end of the day, her being a woman was only a needle in a haystack worth of problems she caused herself that hurt her claim. if she had just strived to create to connection with ancient and her kids, and didn't make herself look like a threat to everyone who lessened her claim (which alicents kids would be the first people to be taken out) alicent would have backed like she had all season and there would have been no war, maybe conflict, but no war.

theres also the effect of the fans on my opinion. I have faced more cruelty, terrible media analysis, and outright ableism/misogny/(blood and sexual based) purist ideology/etc. from the TB fans then I have ever witness by TG fans. TB fans have ruined almost all of the TB characters for me in more ways than I can count, so I will say I am very biased.

thats why I'm team green. as a whole they are simply more appealing, their stories are more interesting, demand more attention to detail and emotional understanding, and from my point of view were the "right" side to be on in the war (the war was wrong on both sides, but my chips lie in the favour of the greens).

#THESE ARE ALL MY OPINIONS IF YOU DONT LIKE IT IGNORE THIS POST. MY ACCOUNT. MY EXISTENCE AS A WHOLE. #BETTER YET. IF YOU REALLY DONT LIKE MY OPINION. BLOCK ME. #I dont want drama. so dont bother me if you disagree #and to clarify discourse and conversation (even if we disagree) =/= arguing. name calling. harassment #if you can be constructive and respectful even while disagreeing your fine to stay #(the fact I have to clarify this in this fandom is embarrassing...) #defintly could have gone more in depth and better explained some things #but I'm tired and know if I don't answer this now I won't ever cause I'm a chronic procrastinator #so this is the best y'all are getting #the pity I have for all of them compared to any of the TB fans is honest to god my entire reasoning #but so many people don't understand them at all so I can't just say that #and I say this as someone who on my first watch was swayed by the intentional moral framing to hate the Greens and support the Blacks #with my whole chest. but I've grown and reflected and rewatched the show and realized I was wrong. #so I've been on both sides of the argument #I know what I'm taking about #pro team green #pro alicent hightower #I'm damn near anti TB/Rhaenyra #but I say lukewarm feelings on them to be more accurate #alicent hightower #aegon ii targaryen #aegon targaryen #aemond targaryen #helaena targaryen #rhaenyra targaryen #daemon targeryan #luke velaryon #jace velaryon #not tagging TB I like my life and sanity #they're so mean all the time and in the last week I've been harassed by them multiple times

[ducktracy]

yet another reprise of the same post i’ve made dozens and dozens of times before but GEEZ! i am so incredibly lucky to be doing what i’m doing! to think i spend hours and hours and days and weeks and months and years and hopefully DECADES pouring over animation history, lauding the masters and studying their work so intently and absorbing it and feeling and identifying with it, and the fact that i get to walk the same turf they did. that i get to be a part of this business that they established. that i get to carry the torch and that, some day, no matter how small or insignificant, my own work and contributions will be regarded as “animation history” because i work in animation and all history is history. i just can’t believe that i’m privileged enough to indulge in some of the same practices that The Greats did, that i get to study their work and, if i’m so lucky, channel and make homages to it where possible.

this isn’t to say “i’m just like Tex Avery because i work in animation TOO!!!!”, but, rather, an expression of my sheer GRATITUDE and amazement that i get to do what i do at all. i’ve met so many nice people. blossomed so much as an artist and cartoonist. get inspired each day by the talent i am constantly surrounded by. and to think that i get to be a part of it!!!!! that i get to carry the torch! i know this sounds so conceited and pompous and i really don’t mean it that way at all because i don’t WANT to be known as someone who people are only interested in because i work in cartoons. i just wanna be known for me! what “me” is i guess is for you to decide! but, regardless, i’m just feeling extra thankful tonight that i’m able to indulge in my passions and SPREAD my passions and have said passions fostered. that i’m lucky enough to tread the same ground as some of the greatest creatives that gave me this ground to tread on. there will never be enough words to properly articulate just how deeply and passionately my gratitude extends.

#not naming names because i feel weird bragging about them behind their back but one person who works on our show i look up to very very #highly. I MEAN I DO FOR A LOT OF PEOPLE. i am literally surrounded by some of the best in the business. but one person i particularly revere #said they were a ‘big fan of my work’ and when i was told that i legitimately went lightheaded for a few seconds #or again Ruth Clampett commenting that her dad would ‘love to see this cartoon live on’ on my art and making me bawl like an absolute baby #IT’S JUST SO CRAZY #i just. man #it’s really beyond words #and so many other kind words from bosses coworkers friends mutuals acquaintances total strangers #i don’t take any of your kindness or even just. awareness for granted #i know i’m not often vreat at responding but i do read every single tag every ask every DM! please know i never take it for granted #thank you for keeping me company and deciding i’m worth the company to keep #okay i think i have officially gone into word salad territory so it’s time to retreat #i’ve gotten much less candid for fear of maintaining some semblance of professionality but sometimes you just need to speak from the heart #(and i’ve gotten much less neurotic about that in recent months thankfully. Tumblr is my little safe haven) #so thank you for making it a safe haven at all

[bomnun]

torn between ‘hvi solo stans need to be studied’ and ‘I hope the worst ones drop him and find someone else to obsess over for three months instead’

#decided to be nice and censor their names 🙏 #the first one also went on a rant abt how he’s sooo unlucky bc he’s never been to mama had a chart all kill or gone on studio choom #the last bit isn’t even true pitigi have done studio choom 😹 #boys planet #<- for those who filter #the worst part is the two first people here are ‘unis’ lmaoooo #the first person used to claim to be a sw stan

[nico-moist-moses]

This is Xupakata! (pronounced Shoo-Pah-Kah-Tah)

He is Indigenous, specifically Purépecha, and is trilingual in Purépecha, Spanish, and English. His name means "rainbow" in Purépecha. 🌈

Xupakata is transgender and is also Indigiqueer. He has ADHD and Tourettes. The weird expression he's doing on the right is one of his tics, where he has to twitch and crack his neck. (he's grimacing cuz it hurts.)

Xupa is very passionate, spontaneous, and proud. He can be arrogant, stubborn, and a petty bitch. He always argues and speaks up, especially if he senses an injustice.

Xupakata's wardrobe is a genderpunk statement: he dresses "feminine" and "masculine" in his Purépecha, Mexican, and American cultures. Basically, he wears whatever the fuck he wants.

Xupa is very dear to me and I'm going to be sick if I keep him in my head all the time so here he is! Hopefully I'll draw him more 🤞🏽

#this OC has went through so many transformations and names its fucking ridiculous/lh #indigiqueer #indigenous #indigenous art #art #OC #tourettes #tics #purepecha #digital art #trans character #native #moist maguey art #big reason i created him was because i was tired of having only ticci toby as tourettes rep #like i love ticci toby but i also need a blorbo who is not a serial killer soooooooo #also more native rep too! #i know only like maybe miguel from coco who is technically purepecha #all the americans think that the “aztecs” (mexica and nahua people) were the only ones there and are gone (bug shocker they're not)

[pyrriax]

hi tumblr im pyrr pyrriax and im in my trimonthly artist arc, lord help me and all the projects that are currently sitting in my drafts while i am lured in by the siren song of drawing

#haunted ecosystem #this is not helping with how much my hands hurt on a daily basis this is why i type and dont handwrite/draw very much. #im lured in regardless and i really need to find an artform that doesnt Hurt but for now. digital art <3 #like theres a difference between my dumb doodles (quick easy not much different from regular computer usage) and actual art #but im an artist at heart i spent sooooo long being an artist and thinking i was shit at writing. that is wrong! im actually kinda good #im rambling in tags today because i have been not social (my partner is in genshin hell and my beloved is. somewhere.) #okay but on another note i reread the first. couple chapters of wtds this morning? the pacing is a little weird and the tense is fucked #but its actually a lot better than i thought it was? you can tell i was fleshing everybody out in my head and i totally forgot about how #i described the watcher [who i am STILL redacting the name of until we get there] and just. ough. pandora being very logical #and then jumping to the latest chapter and fucking sobbing because i forgot about how it went and just. pandora and his. #whatever the fuck is wrong with him. #i have gotta start recommending people read that again. its surprisingly friendly without context because of how i approached it #that fic has taught me so many things its actually a little comical. it also made me relearn how to make and write ocs so thats fun #once i finish that main fic (and i WILL i am actually planning to sign up for a thing. im finishing it i swear.) i finally get to show off #more of the world and characters ive crafted. showing backstories and what-ifs and all these oneshots ive been keeping close to my chest #for like absolutely ages because i dont want any spoilers on my tumblr #and. im finishing that fic in pseudo-memoriam of somebody who deleted their accounts everywhere. still miss you dane! #ok this has completely gone off topic ily tumblr im going back to drawing and i might make a new pfp #it'll still be lavius but it'll be fray lavius since i think about him a lot and i like his color palette.

[thebirdandhersong]

all shall be well :')))) ALL SHALL BE WELL

#always a timely reminder for us all! #this is re: texting troubles. breadmaking shenanigans. all the things going on in the world. #on an unrelated note (i just watched miss americana today): do you (referring to tswift lovers) pray for her? #i wonder how many people are praying for her. i know for kpop there's a small fraction of kpop fans who pray for their favourite singers #this is a sudden thought because my word has she Gone Through It a lot in her life. and she DOES have this incredibly golden #and somewhat firmly oriented moral imagination when it comes to what SHOULD be in the world #(i.e. eucatastrophic turns in sad songs/lyrics; tswift clearly SEES and names heartache and sorrow but also is able to draw out #such beautiful and true images and motifs and so on and so forth) but though she says she's a Christian (in the 2020 documentary anyway) i #don't know if THE Eucatastrophe (as prof jirt would put it) is a part of her creative big picture/perspective ? #anyway love y'all happy pentecost (it's almost midnight here. alas) LOVE YOUUUU :D #songbird again

[strfe]

thank you to my 3 mutuals who are still here for some reason (offering my weird dog)

#❛ ooc ( it’s hard to stand on both feet ) #tbd // #her name is aeris but i should have called her sephiroth #she's absolutely feral #but in all seriousness. im thankful for the people who have stuck around for years #and who take the time to like or reply to things #making this return has been kinda rough since so many people I was close to are just gone now but #I'm at least not entirely talking to a wall

[nebulouscoffee]

... well it's that time of the year already. If anyone's got a Star Trek ask I'd love a distraction <3

#was really hoping the new year could be a reset ugh #but this last week Alone has been so tragic #this lovely man who used to be the watchman at my school died #he wasn't even that old #he's been around as long as I can remember... he used to remember all our names & chat with all our parents & grandparents & now he's gone #just out of the blue #& then this girl I literally played with as a kid just randomly got this massive brain bleed out of nowhere #she's YOUNG like she's only a handful of years older than me she's literally still in her 20s I think. she has a newborn baby #now she's in critical care and we don't even know if she'll make it. she's my mum's best friend's daughter we literally hung out #idk this is messing me up a bit... like #it's insane how anything can just happen it's insane how little time we have it's insane #cw death #(I don't have many followers but if anyone wants me to start tagging these vent posts anything else pls do say so lol) #(I honestly thought I'd made the last of them) #(but unfortunately people I know just! keep! dying! & I can't really complain like this anywhere else. sorry)

[androgynealienfemme]

A well known Saudi trans woman on twitter was manipulated, tricked, and kidnapped back to Saudi Arabia from DC by a group of “security specialists” hired by her family so they could forcibly detransition her, which led to her suicide. She posted her suicide note yesterday on twitter, naming the people who facilitated in her kidnapping back to her abusive family, who include members of extreme religious groups like the Heritage Foundation, and today her family posted her funeral services announcement, misgendering and deadnaming her along the way. The evil in this world is horrific. I’m so heartbroken and sad to see this girl I admired snuffed out this way, and I pray justice is served for the Americans who helped set her up to be kidnapped, abused, and driven to her death.

Justice for Eden.

#transphobia tw #trans rights #suicide mention #I’m so upset and sad and angry #I was so scared this would happen because I know how powerful Saudi families treat their children when they runaway to live free #this happens to other lgbt people and women who flee Saudi all the time #and I prayed it wouldn’t happen to Eden but it did and now she’s gone #her family fucking killed her #I want people to know and I want people to know the names of the people who caused this #justice for Eden #justiceforeden

[phantom-does-a-thing]

It’s almost worse knowing they hurt me unintentionally because I don’t have any right to hate them. It was an accident, they didn’t know, but still I have breakdowns at the mention of them and they don’t even know.

#I haven’t talked to them in months #and by god I don’t want to talk to them again #because it hurts So Bad #and I’m not even in the right to hate them bc they didn’t do it on purpose #I’d rather them do it on purpose because then I could hate them #because I’m angry and upset and I had a panic attack last night about it #this person who probably doesn’t even think about me for a second #and they’re constantly in my mind making me feel like crap #that’s not fair #I hope my name is never in their thoughts again and I hope they always wonder why I stopped talking to them #I wanted closure before but it’s too late for that because it’s been long enough that #wtf would I even say? #you hurt me. you abandoned me? but I’m the one that stopped talking #it felt like you abandoned me and I didn’t have the energy to keep up a one sided talk #when I know there were people who would talk to me #I know you’re busy. but at least something would be nice #I’m needy. and clingy. and I KNOW that #but still. it hurts because it’s like everything I always get left behind and they’re the PRIME example of that #I don’t even know why they hurt me so bad #maybe it was because it was someone I trusted completely #someone that I was closest to above all else above everyone else #I trusted them. I loved them. we talked about getting to meet up one day #but I hope that when they come up here I am Long Gone and they never think of me again #I trusted them enough they knew my state. I trusted them with parts of myself I barely trusted anyone else with #and the absence hurt like hell #and there wasn’t even one big event to break it off #just a slow deterioration in anxiety and stress that sometimes bubbled up in a message #but I always kneecapped the conversation because never was a good time to have it #and then just no more messages #I should block them. but I don’t want to ruin all the messages we had