#I’d rather them do it on purpose because then I could hate them

[phantom-does-a-thing]

It’s almost worse knowing they hurt me unintentionally because I don’t have any right to hate them. It was an accident, they didn’t know, but still I have breakdowns at the mention of them and they don’t even know.

#I haven’t talked to them in months #and by god I don’t want to talk to them again #because it hurts So Bad #and I’m not even in the right to hate them bc they didn’t do it on purpose #I’d rather them do it on purpose because then I could hate them #because I’m angry and upset and I had a panic attack last night about it #this person who probably doesn’t even think about me for a second #and they’re constantly in my mind making me feel like crap #that’s not fair #I hope my name is never in their thoughts again and I hope they always wonder why I stopped talking to them #I wanted closure before but it’s too late for that because it’s been long enough that #wtf would I even say? #you hurt me. you abandoned me? but I’m the one that stopped talking #it felt like you abandoned me and I didn’t have the energy to keep up a one sided talk #when I know there were people who would talk to me #I know you’re busy. but at least something would be nice #I’m needy. and clingy. and I KNOW that #but still. it hurts because it’s like everything I always get left behind and they’re the PRIME example of that #I don’t even know why they hurt me so bad #maybe it was because it was someone I trusted completely #someone that I was closest to above all else above everyone else #I trusted them. I loved them. we talked about getting to meet up one day #but I hope that when they come up here I am Long Gone and they never think of me again #I trusted them enough they knew my state. I trusted them with parts of myself I barely trusted anyone else with #and the absence hurt like hell #and there wasn’t even one big event to break it off #just a slow deterioration in anxiety and stress that sometimes bubbled up in a message #but I always kneecapped the conversation because never was a good time to have it #and then just no more messages #I should block them. but I don’t want to ruin all the messages we had

[lemonlover1110]

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐬

Satoru Gojo

[Chapter 16] Justifications

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Pairing: Satoru Gojo x f!Reader

Discord +18 - Twitter - Ko-Fi

Mrs. Gojo’s first reaction to finding her son in the hospital room isn’t one of worry– Rather, she’s curious. She wonders if you told him; she doubts you’re dumb enough to actually tell him, but he got here somehow. Instead of wondering how he found out, she should worry about how she’ll explain everything to her son. She can’t just throw you under the bus… Well, she can but it wouldn’t be right for her to do so.

Satoru is sitting down, his hands on his knees as he looks around the room. He contemplates everything. He questions every single relationship that he has. Shoko knew, and his mother, but who else? How many people are betraying him? How many people know the fact that he has a son? 

The man is nauseous at the mere thought that they faced him as if they weren’t hiding something that could turn Satoru’s life upside down. He hears his mother’s heels as she walks towards him but he can’t bring himself to look up at her. He’s never had a close bond with his mother, and at times he’s hated her presence; but nothing compares to now. Satoru has never hated being her son until now. 

“Satoru.” She doesn’t try to soften her voice when she talks to him. She probably should. She feels the hatred that radiates off her son, and she knows that maybe she should console him. She’s mostly at fault for how things played out. “How did you end up here?”

“That’s what you say.” His voice breaks and he takes a deep breath to compose himself. He won’t start crying in front of his mother, she doesn’t have to know how heartbroken he is. She should have an idea though because it’s no easy feat. “You knew about my son, you hid him from me on purpose, you let me find out on my own and your response is that.”

She stays quiet. Satoru will continue speaking and she won’t interrupt until he lets it all out. “I always knew you weren’t a star mother, but this? You’re the worst mother I’ve come across. You hid my son from me, and for what? Because you didn’t want your ideal plans to go to the trash?”

“You’re almost twenty-seven and you act like a child. You wouldn’t have been able to step up to the role. I did what was best for you, and for Ren and his mother.” She argues and he feels his blood boil. He’s never been so mad in his life.

“I wouldn’t have been like you. I wouldn’t have thrown my son to the help and let them raise him. I’m nothing like you, I would’ve been able to step up to the role. Ren would’ve actually felt me being present, and I would’ve loved him as much as I possibly could.” Satoru’s nails dig into the fabric of his pants. “No one is ready to be a parent. You learn along the way. I would’ve and am going to try my best, the same way you should’ve.”

“If it weren’t for me, you wouldn’t have your precious job title, Satoru. Watch how you talk to me.” She warns him, ignoring the guilt that runs through her veins. She focuses more on the fact that her son gives her attitude. 

“This is what you wanted! You didn’t tell me because you knew I’d give up everything for him. I knew you were fucked up but to this extent? You’re a wretched woman, I’m ashamed to call you my mother.” Satoru raises his voice, and silence follows. She doesn’t know how to answer. Satoru clears his throat, “For how long have you known? For how long have you known I have a son?”

“Almost a year.” She confesses, and maybe Satoru would’ve easily let it slide if it was something more recent. Well, she hired you for a reason, she’s known for as long as you’ve been working with her. Satoru takes a deep breath, trying his best to hold back the tears that fill up his eyes. 

“Shoko knows. She told me. Who else knows?” He asks, speaking slowly to contain his feelings. She shrugs, she doesn’t know who else knows. 

“I have no idea. I didn’t know Shoko knew.” She responds, walking over to stand next to Satoru. He glares at her, standing up. He can’t stand to breathe the same air as her for another moment. She watches him walk away and she asks, “What are you doing? Now is not the time to throw a tantrum.”

“A tantrum?! You hid my son from me and you’re calling this a tantrum?!” He yells. “You’ve known about my son for a year, you asked for him to be kept from me, and you’re calling this a tantrum? You’re fucking unbelievable. This is all your fault. You’ve been set on making me miserable ever since I was born.”

“Calm down, Satoru.” She says, and Satoru has to take another deep breath. He doesn’t even know how to respond to her. How dare she even suggest that? She must be out of her damn mind– No, she’s evil. He’s convinced she’s fucking evil.

“I’ll never forgive you for this. This is so fucked up, even for you.” Satoru steps out of the room. He needs a breath of fresh air, and he needs to take it all in. Gather his thoughts. 

He’s a father. He’s been one for the past four years. How does he handle it all? His mother betrayed him in the worst possible way. You betrayed him the worst possible way. But Satoru can somewhat understand why you stayed quiet. Not her though. Both reasons are selfish, but her selfishness is pure evil. 

“Satoru.” He hears your mother, and he stops walking. The tears that he’s been holding back finally slip out, and he wipes them away as your mother walks to him. Her hand goes to his arm and she squeezes it as a form of reassurance. “Let’s go grab a coffee, there’s a coffee shop nearby that’s open.”

“Yeah.” He tries to talk normally, and she gently smiles at him. They walk outside and Satoru follows your mother’s lead to the coffee shop. They walk in silence, and when they get there, Satoru pays for coffee for the both of them.

Once the coffee is in their hands, they sit in silence at a table. They came here to talk, yet Satoru is not going to spark up the conversation– At least Satoru assumes that they came here to talk. Your mother clears her throat, “I hope you can forgive my daughter for this… At the very least see her point of view.”

“I’ll try at the very least… I just thought she would try to tell me. I’m disappointed… and feel betrayed.” Satoru confides. He’s always felt like he could talk to your mother, she’s always been someone he can trust. He never went to his own mother for help, instead he went to yours. “I would’ve done anything for Ren, she knows I’ve always wanted to have a kid.”

“I remember the day my little girl called crying, telling me she was pregnant. Her boyfriend just broke up with her and she didn’t know how to tell him. You were out of town, your mother fired me– I told my daughter I quit, but it wasn’t that. Your mother didn’t want me around, she started hating me the moment my daughter started to date you,” Your mother begins and Satoru listens attentively. 

“She tried to tell you, Satoru. You changed your number. You completely cut her off. She went to your house, and guess what your mother said to my pregnant daughter?”

“That I got married.” Satoru mutters, looking away since he’s too ashamed to look her in the eye. 

“And you know the damage that caused? She cried for weeks, but she managed to move on. She couldn’t dwell on you forever because she had a son to be responsible for. Maybe she should’ve told you when she saw you, but I understand she didn’t need you anymore.” 

“I didn’t get married because–” Satoru begins but your mother cuts him off. She doesn’t want to hear any justifications, she really doesn’t see any response that will make her feelings change.

“I don’t care why the hell you got married. I was rooting for you, Satoru. I was rooting for the two of you, but you showed me that you’re just like your selfish entitled family. You made me change my mind, you’re the last person I want near my daughter and my grandson.” Her words sting more than anyone’s because the woman that sits across from him practically raised him. “But I guess I have no other option. You are Ren’s father.”

“I’m sorry.” He murmurs, causing her brows to raise.

“I’m not the one you should be apologizing to.” She answers before standing up. Satoru watches as she walks away, biting his quivering bottom lip. He shuts his eyes, trying not to begin crying in front of everyone. 

He’s tired. He should probably go home and take a nap, but he promised his son he’d be there when he wakes up. So he won’t leave until Ren sees him. Satoru stands up and goes back to the hospital.

You don’t talk to each other when you’re with Ren. Ren is filled with love, from both of his parents and grandmothers. He’s never been with them all at the same time, and he’s excited to be with them all even when he isn’t feeling too well. His father seems to have a lot of questions though, but Ren likes the attention.

Ren gets to talk about his birthday (which surprises Satoru since they have the same birthday), his favorite color, his favorite show, his favorite toys, what he does when mommy is not home, what he does when mommy is home; Satoru tries to get to know all about Ren in a couple hours to make up for the past four years of his life. Satoru is overwhelmed with sadness, yet he’s never felt so happy before as he sits on an armchair, next to his baby boy. Ren holds his father’s hand, smiling when he’s never felt worse before. He’s just happy to meet the man that he’s been asking about.

Satoru spends the entire afternoon there, listening to Ren’s every request. He expected to spend the first day with his son in the hospital but not under these conditions. Regardless, Ren could be a newborn or a four-year-old, Satoru loves him either way. 

Ren yawns, and Satoru sheepishly smiles. He kisses the top of his son’s head. “How about you go to bed, buddy? You’re tired.”

“I don’t want you to go.” Ren says, and Satoru squeezes his hand. You swear you hear your heart break as you hear Ren’s words. You definitely fucked up.

“I’m not leaving, Ren. I’ll be by your side when you wake up, I promise.” Satoru assures him, and the man stays by his side until Ren finally falls asleep. Satoru doesn’t let go of Ren’s hand. You sit in silence for a moment as you try to decide what you’ll do next. Should you speak? Maybe you should… But what should you say? Maybe you should apologize, but you don’t have the guts to do it. 

“Who else knows?” Satoru whispers, not wanting to wake Ren up. He doubts that Ren will be waking up any time soon though, no matter how loud he is.

“Shoko and Suguru. And everyone that works at your house.” You answer. “I asked them not to tell, and I lied to Suguru so don’t be mad at them.”

“Did you… At least try to argue with my mother about telling me?” He hopes that you’ll say yes, so at the very least he can feel like you care about his feelings. He wants to hear that you tried a bit more. He’s filled with disappointment when you shake your head. He looks away from you, and back at Ren.

“How are you going to tell your wife?” You ask, and Satoru shrugs. That isn’t his main problem right now. Sayo can wait.

#[changes] #gojo saturo #satoru gojo #gojou satoru x you #jjk satoru #gojou satoru x reader #jujutsu kaisen gojo #jjk gojo #gojo angst #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x reader #gojo satoru #jujutsu gojo #gojo x reader #gojo fanfic

[ponderingmoonlight]

Yuta finding out you've got severely injured at Shibuya and freaking out

Pairing: Yuta x fem!reader

Word Count: 1,8k

Synopsis: When the news of Shibuya begin to flood in, Yuta almost loses his mind over you. Without thinking twice he pays you, the secret love of his life, a visit.

Warnings: reader is depressed over her injury/disabilities so if that's not for you don't read it, Yuta is very confident in this one like he should, hurt/injury, comfort with my boy Yuta in the end

„Don’t tell me she was there too.”

Pictures flood Yuta’s mind uncontrollably. Your oh so gorgeous doe eyes, your breath-taking smile. You with your hair done the way you know he likes, you in that uniform that suits you so well.

You, lying on the floor covered in your own blood.

The news of what happened at Shibuya already pulled the ground underneath his feet. But given the fact that everyone was involved like Miguel said, you must have been there. They would be reckless to not rely on your powers.

You, a grade 2 sorcerer who would have become a grade 1 within the next few months. You, who promised him that you’ll stay safe.

“Hey, don’t worry about me, okay? This is a great opportunity to get a hold of your great powers, Yuta. I mean of course I’ll miss you terribly, but not enough to destroy this for you. Watch out.”

He had a bad feeling right from the start. After everything that happened just a few months ago, letting you go was one of the hardest things he ever had to do. But you were right with what you’ve said, to accompany Miguel and invest his time into training really was the wisest thing he could do back then.

Except for leaving you behind.

“You mean (y/n)? Both you and I know she definitely was.”

His heart drops in an instant, eyes widen in nothing but pure horror. Hearing that none other that Satoru Gojo got sealed, countless lives ended within only a couple of hours…

You can’t be dead, right? No, it’s simply impossible that you leave him alone like this.

“I hate the thought of dying during some pointless battle. This just doesn’t make sense to me, y’know? I’d rather die as a hero or not at all until I’m old and ugly.”

“But (y/n), you’re a jujutsu sorcerer. Many people just die on the battlefield without a special purpose.”

“I won’t, then.”

God, your wide smile back then. It really made him believe that you are the type to survive everything, that nothing and no one is able to bring you down.

But Shibuya managed to even get a hold of the strongest of them all. So what about you?

His lips begin to tremble uncontrollably, hands clenched into fists so tightly that blood begins to spill.

“Tell me she’s alright. Tell me (y/n) made it without getting hurt.”

Miguel signs, the sheer power that radiates from Yuta’s shaking figure running shivers down his spine.

“As far as I know she managed to get out…Somehow.”

That means you’re alive, right? That means you were able to escape certain death. But…

At what cost?

“How is she, then? Tell me already”, Yuta barks at the man standing in front of him.

God, he can’t lose you. Not know. Not when he wasn’t even able to admit his feelings to you, to thank you for always standing by his side, before telling you how much he adores you with all his heart.

“I don’t know! Everything is pure chaos over there”, Miguel replies dryly.

“If that’s so, I will go and pay her a visit.”

“Now? Did you forget you’re here to get trained by me? You can’t just fly over there because of a girl-“

“She is more than just a girl”, Yuta interrupts him immediately.

“And I will go and look after her myself.”

-At Jujutsu High-

Urgh, how much you hate opening your eyes since that fateful day. Yes, you are very much alive and in proud possession of all your limbs. But that’s it, basically.

“Hey, how you’re doing?”

“Better than yesterday, still not fine I guess.”

It haunts you. The pictures of Shibuya plague your mind day in day out. Closing your eyes means seeing all of their faces before they die, opening them reminds you of the fact that you survived despite losing everything else. The sight of your left eye, the ability to move your arms freely, your capability to walk a straight line. The fucking special grade curses hit you hard, burned you to the ground, sliced you open like a fish.

And now you’re laying here as one of the few people that survived Shibuya. Right next to Shoko who cares for you every free minute.

“So glad you didn’t tell me you hate your life again, pessimism doesn’t suit you at all. What would that boy say if he could hear you blow misery?”

That boy named Yuta. It seems like everyone except himself knows about the huge crush you have on him. Well, not very surprising considering the fact that you talk about him day in and out, asking whenever he’s doing fine in that foreign land before even saying hallo.

“Haven’t heard from him since that shit happened. My phone got kinda destroyed and well, most of the time I laid here passed out on the bed”, you reply briefly, staring at the ceiling with no aim.

Oh, how much you long for him, how much you miss to hear his comforting words in the middle of the night. But you know it wouldn’t be wise to tell him what happened. As far as you can tell, Yuta would take the next flight to Tokyo and stay by your side day and night. And even though that sounds more than appealing to you, you just know this isn’t what he needs. He needs to stay where he is, safe and sound while sharpening his abilities. And you aren’t on that list.

“Well, someone definitely told him.”

You squint your functioning eye, staring at the unbothered woman in front of you in confusion. What the hell is she talking about?

“Why are you saying that?”

“(y/n)!?”

Your heart stops, eyes widen. That voice. That oh so familiar voice you heard over the phone for these past months. The voice you dreamed of day and night. Can it really be…

“Yuta?” you breathe out, eye searching for his familiar figure.

Yes, is really is him, standing in the middle of the room with his familiar white uniform. He looks so…different. The dark circles under his eyes are completely gone by now, his dark blue eyes glooming in the dim light. He definitely is a few inches taller than last time, features more mature than before. And his hair…it seems like he finally began to style it a little.

Without hesitation he storms towards you, glistening orbs scanning what’s left of your crippled body.

Yuta feels like dying. You’ve been through so much; your usual bright eyes show nothing but emptiness and agony. What did they do to you? Why does it have to be you? You, the most precious human being walking on this earth. You, the girl he’s secretly in love with since that horrible fight over a year ago. He can’t stop the tears from taking his sight, hands desperately grabbing yours.

“I’m so sorry (y/n). I should have been by your side. I shouldn’t have left you here alone, I-“

“Shut up, Yuta”, you interrupt him before hearing another word.

“You shouldn’t be here. I didn’t expect our first meeting to be when I…look like this…”, you mumble, gaze avoiding him at any cost.

“What are you talking about, (y/n)?”

His heart hammers against his chest, hands on their way to gently caress your cheek when you just turn away.

“All this time I had the chance to tell you that I love you and now…Look at me. Shoko said I might be never able to see again, countless scars will be visible on my body for the rest of my life. My leg got completely destroyed, to the point where even she might not be able to fix it. I’m not the (y/n) you know anymore. I’m a shadow of myself”, you bark at him.

Fuck, don’t cry, don’t let feelings overwhelm you. After all, Nanami-san told you how well you fought.

Just before dying in front of your very own eyes.

Your hands begin to tremble uncontrollably again when pictured of all the death and misery flood your mind. Why can’t you just turn it off? Why aren’t you strong enough to outstand all of this? Desperately you hold your own head, squinting your eyes shut. Please, just let it stop. Let it all go away.

Yuta doesn’t think twice. Gently, he places his hands on top of yours while pressing your head against his chest. It’s just not fair. When he left, you wore your smile so effortlessly, your joyful personality radiating to the outside for everyone to see. But now…you look so broken it kills him from the inside.

“I love you too, (y/n). Just the way you are. No matter how injured, no matter how bad you feel. I will always see the striking (y/n) with the most breath-taking smile and the worst humour of all times in you. We’ll get through this together, okay? I won’t leave your side.”

You crumble against his chest, letting everything out your hid so well within these last couple of hours. Oh, how much you fucking missed him, how much you longed for his touch all this time. Is it really possible that he doesn’t care about your state? Could it really be that…

Yuta Okkotsu loves you the way you are?

“You don’t care about how miserable I am?”, you whimper, taking in his delicious scent that hasn’t change even after all this time.

“Not the slightest. But I will kill everyone who did this to you without blinking”, he remarks in all seriousness.

You gaze up at him. The unsure boy in him seems to be vanished in thin air, eyes filled with confidence while he balls his fists behind your head.

Yuta Okkotsu might have changed, but the tenderness he holds in his gaze when his eyes meet yours is still the same.

“I swear that nothing like this will ever happen again. I’ll stay here with your and will make sure you’re safe.”

Your glossy eyes widen, mind trying to process his words.

“But you…you weren’t even supposed to be here. You still have to train-“

“No training in the world is more important than you. I love you, (y/n). And even though I wasn’t able to admit it back then, I want to stay by your side.”

 And then is lips meet yours. Before he losing the courage to finally do what he dreamed of countless nights, to make sure you understand how much you mean to him. He will make them pay for what they did to you, he will move heaven and earth to make sure they get the punishment they deserve.

But for now, he gently strokes your hair while kissing you with all the desire he hit over the past months, will all the love he holds for you.

“I’ll be there for you, okay? And I will kill every single one of them with my own hands.”

Tags:  @arehzhera @ploylulla @tzubaki @beatrexworld @kenstarsworld @dazaisdick @hellkaiserinphoenix  @lauv4chuuya @shadowfoxey @starlightanyaaa @sindela @kayleegomez @sunshine7queen @magalimachete @mokoartpost @gatitam @idontknow1123 @creative1writings @sanicsmut  @mynahx3 @sad-darksoul @chilichopsticks @hellkaiserinphoenix @chuyasthighs0 @ynackerman9499 @keepghostly @wxwieeee @lovelyluna1 @froufrousnowman @hidazinie @tomiokathedepresso  @gojosrealwife  @coffeeluvr96 @mahi-tamashi

there you have it @lees-chaotic-brain I really hope you like it <3 I know this isn't your request yet but I thought you'll enjoy some Yuta content still @belovedvamp

#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen shibuya arc #shibuya #jjk shibuya arc #jjk season 2 #shibuya incident #jjk hurt/comfort #jjk hurt #jjk imagines #jjk fanfic #jujutsu kaisen yuta okkotsu #yuta #yuta okkotsu #yuta x reader #jjk yuta #jjk yuuta #okkotsu yuuta #okkotsu yuta x reader #okkotsu yuta fluff #okkotsu x reader #jujutsu shoko #jjk shoko #jujutsu kaisen shoko

[gay-dorito-dust]

Hey🤍 may I please request a fluff/romantic or Bi Han. I know a lot of people don’t think he is capable of being romantic but a girl needs some fluff for Bi Han please. Maybe something were he is sweet and caring only towards reader and everyone else he is normal Bi Han. Love your writing thank you🤍

This got shoddy at the end of the drab. 🦦

You were lost within your own head for while when Bi-Han had appeared at your side, gingerly taking your hand within his own, drawing a gasp from your lips as you felt his cold fingers intertwine with yours. ‘Bi-Han. You’re here.’ You breathed out, smiling instantaneously upon being greeted with the beautiful dark eyes of the man you had happily promised your heart to. Your grasped his hand tighter, almost as though you were checking if he was actually with you, rather then some illusion you’ve coincidentally conjured up.

‘Of course I’m here, little bird.’ Bi-Han told you whilst pressing a soft kiss to your forehead, letting them linger there for a while before pulling away to gently rest his forehead against your own. His eyes locked on yours, as though he were fearful to look away in the instance that you wouldn’t be there when he looked back. ‘For I could never be content as to keep you waiting for longer then needed.’ He adds as he took this moment to ingrain you eternally within his mind, so that he may never forget who he was fighting for, who he was carving a better future for and who he would vigorously defend till his last breath escaped from him.

Gods did Bi-Han hate being separated from you for long periods of time, truly believing that one day Kuai Liang and Tomas would try to enact revenge for his supposed betrayal, by taking away the one person who gave him true purpose in this life; you. However he couldn’t completely disregard his duties as Grandmaster, for it would be sacrilege. Bi-Han was forever grateful that you never held that against him, and instead fully understand that he couldn’t fully commit to being your lover when there was so much work yet to be done.

‘If it was for you?’ You inquired. ‘I’d wait for as long as I must to see my beloved home safe and sound. So you needn’t worry in keeping me waiting.’ You finished as you then softly pecked his plush lips, cooing softly once pulling away from him, enjoying how Bi-Han fruitlessly attempted in following after your lips. For a man as cold as ice he was quite warm and gentle, but you knew he was only like this for you and you often times felt spoilt by being blessed to see this side of him; The side of him that would constantly hold you face in between his hands when checking you for injuries, his thumbs stroking the skin of your cheeks with such gentleness, as though he thought you were going to break. You even saw Bi-Han during his most stubborn and his most angriest of moments and yet still you called him the most breathtaking man you’ve ever met because to you that was the honest truth.

‘I just don’t want to wish you being bored of me when I come home.’ Bi-Han admitted softly. ‘You deserve a man who is willing to be at your beck and call, to be with you from the early hours of morning, to the later hours of night. You shouldn’t have to settle for less because you feel as though that’s all there is going for you, and instead you should strive for more for you deserve more, way more then any man could possibly give.’ Bi-Han truly meant what he said, he truly believed that you deserved better, never to tolerate less, for he felt like he wasn’t giving you all that he possibly could and it pained him greatly because you’ve him so much throughout the duration of your relationship.

Bi-Han only felt as it was only reasonable to give you an out shoulder you feel as though you weren’t being valued enough, as he always tended to put you and your well-being first and foremost in just about everything. But you saw what he was doing almost instantly and you weren’t about to allow Bi-Han to make a offer a solution that’ll only end up hurting the both of you because despite his tiering duties as Grandmaster, he was a dedicated, loyal and caring lover. You couldn’t have to ask for a better man and never would for Bi-Han was it for you, he was the one.

‘Bi-Han.’ You murmured, taking your free hand to hold his cheek, stroking it reassuringly as you watched him visibly relax within your hold, moving his head to kiss your inner wrist. ‘To be bored of you would be like to be bored of living for while you are a very busy man, you are the most attentive, sweet, caring man I have ever met.’ You pressed a kiss to the tip of his nose before brushing your nose against his, breathing him in as deep as you could. ‘Not once have you ever made me feel less important or less valued. Never. You made me feel worshiped, you made me feel loved, you always found room for me within your busy schedule, and I could never find a appropriate way to express my gratitude to you but I hope to everyday.’ You concluded, hoping that you had gotten your point across that you weren’t going anywhere without him.

‘You don’t need to express anything to me, my beloved,’ Bi-Han reassured you, kissing your inner wrist once more. ‘For the sole fact that you still being here with me despite all my flaws is the biggest gesture I could have ever received and I’m eternally thankful that you haven’t yet given up on me. Do it should be me expressing my gratitude, not you.’ Bi-Han finishes. ‘There’s no need for that.’ You assured him. ‘You’ve done enough and you’ve just gotten back from a long mission. You must be exhausted and in need of rest.’ You then began to pull Bi-Han towards your shared bed by his arm.

Bi-Han wasn’t one to complain, as it meant he got to make up for lost time by laying in your arms and leeching off of your warmth whilst putting his aching body to rest, something his soul had yearned to do the moment he return to the Lin Kuei. ‘That sounds perfect, little bird. That sounds perfect.’

#mk1 #mk imagine #mk x reader #mk1 x reader #mortal kombat imagine #mortal kombat imagines #mortal kombat x y/n #mortal kombat x reader #mortal kombat x you #mortal kombat 1 x reader #bi han imagine #bi han x you #bi han x y/n #bi han x reader #bi han imagines #sub zero x reader

[venus-maneater]

a loyal dog’s reward. | yan! criston cole

soft yandere / obsessed au

fem! targaryen princess reader

synopsis. the knight’s death wasn’t convenient, but at least now you knew the lengths Ser Criston was willing to go for you.

part ii.

note; this is an au where rhaenyra/criston never happened ! he is reader’s sworn shield. reader is written with targaryen features and is kind of a sick and twisted brat (we stan). ALL CONTENT ON MY BLOG IS FICTIONAL.

WARNING(s): possessive/obsessive tendencies, violence, minor character death, unhealthy relationship dynamics, manipulation, age gap (reader is 19, criston is around 27), references to size difference, reader knows abt his tendencies and takes advantage of them, nsfw content but not full smut, allusions/references to sex, subby criston cole, dom-ish reader, praise-kink??, breeding kink??, mocking, usage of “dog”

“I know how you think of me.”

Do you really? Do you know how much he thinks of you, how he craves you? How he wants nothing more than to steal you away so no one else can ever see you again except him? He wants you to be his, only his. That’s all he wants.

“You can’t get me out of your head, can you, Ser Criston?”

He knows you emphasized his title on purpose; he was a member of the Kingsguard lusting after the Princess, and yet he couldn’t feel any guilt from behind the overwhelming desire he has for you. It’s not just lust, it’s so much more than lust. He wants you; mind, body, and soul. He wants you to look at him the way he looks at you. He wants to grow old with you and fill you up with babies. Babies that will have his dark hair and your violet eyes, or maybe even the opposite.

“You would do anything for me?”

Yes, gods yes he would. Ask for anything and its yours. Please, please, please ask something of him.

You’d noticed his peculiar behavior months ago, but you suppose it hadn’t gone far enough for you to say anything about it until now. You noticed how his eyes never left your figure if you were in the room, how he stiffened when you stood even remotely near another man, how he followed you around like a lost puppy. It was endearing at first, but tonight he had killed someone for you. Not only that, but he did it violently and in public. In all fairness, the hedge Knight was creepy and invasive, you didn’t like him. But Criston was a member of the Kingsguard, he couldn’t go around killing people just because he wanted to.

There was a tourney to celebrate your older sister Rhaenyra’s first pregnancy. She was married to Laenor around 6 months ago, so most of the family found it pleasant that she was already pregnant. Though, you knew it wasn’t Ser Laenor who was the father (or at least you assumed it wasn’t). You were rather close with your sister and her husband; you knew well what they got up to and what they didn’t. All was well for you, you found Ser Harwin to be a lovely friend.

Although Criston Cole was your sworn shield, you insisted he enter the tourney for the entertainment. Many had entered from all over Westeros, and your shield had always succeeded in physical competitions in the past.

“I’d just like to see you win.” You told him, batting your eyes. He was quick to obey your request at that.

Ser Criston received your favor right before his first round, and won the tournament just as you knew he would. A hedge knight from the Reach came in second place to your shield. He seemed nice enough and was a rather good sport about losing, but frankly he was annoying. He wouldn’t stop following Criston around, which eventually lead to him introducing himself to you as Tion Gracefeld. His presence didn’t bother you at first, but you could clearly tell how much Criston hated it.

After the event ended, there was celebration all throughout King’s Landing, so there was a bit of chaos on the short journey back to the Red Keep. Tion took advantage of this, trying to get closer to you. Of course, Criston was there to push him back each time, telling him “please give the princess some space” through gritted teeth.

His jealousy was a bit cute to you, so you let Ser Tion continue with his behavior. It wasn’t such a bother, but as you approached the castle, his words became less playful and more… sexual. Foul, even.

You couldn’t remember exactly what happened for certain, the violence was too quick, but you knew that he grabbed your arm before Ser Criston murdered him for it. The Dornish Kingsguard grabbed Tion, pulling him from you and throwing him to the ground. You were sure the beating was bad, considering it was enough for him to die from his injuries, but you refused to look.

Criston was eventually pulled off the man after a couple minutes, and now here he was. Sitting on the edge of your bed in front of you, hands and armor splattered in blood.

“Look at me.” You told him. You had to give him some credit, he listens to you so well, “Why did you do it? What made you angry enough to kill him?”

You could hear his breath hitch in his throat as you stepped closer, only to stop directly in front of him.

He took in a quick breath before answering, looking up at you with frustrated eyes, “He was talking to you like- like you were some… whore. There was no respect. He was trying— to touch you. I’m your sworn protector, Princess, I was only doing my job.”

He didn’t want you to know about his sick obsession with you, trying to hide it using his position as an excuse for his behavior. Unfortunately for him, it was incredibly obvious. You could tell how angry he still was from the interaction; his hands shaking, chest heaving, and jaw clenched.

“You know,” You started, looking down into Criston’s eyes and leaning closer to his face, “I didn’t really like the guy, myself. But you’ve gotten me into quite the situation. You should be charged for your crimes, I’m afraid.”

Even seated, he was so close to your height that you didn’t have to lean down much to meet at eye-level.

“I’m sorry, my Princess” was all that left him, drunk on the lack of space between you.

“That’s all you have to say?” You whispered, your breath hitting his lips. His pupils were blown impossibly wide, making you smile. As disturbing as this whole thing was, he was almost too attractive for you to care. Almost.

“I don’t want to be taken from you.” He whispered. He didn’t care that he killed someone, he wasn’t sorry, he just didn’t want to be forced to leave you. Tion deserved his wrath; he got too close to you.

You smiled slightly, standing back up to your full height. Using your knee, you pushed the man’s legs apart so you could stand between them. Your hands moved from your sides to his chest, “You won’t. I’ll fix it for you, I truly don’t mind. My father will believe me when I tell him Ser Tion was harassing me, and that you just stepped in to defend my honor.”

Criston gulped, taking in a deep breath to surround himself in your scent. He didn’t say a word.

Your hands slowly creeped up to his shoulders, then into his hair, “Do you ever think about kissing me, Ser Criston?”

His eyelids dropped slightly, the euphoria of your hands running through his locks reaching him.

“As your Princess, you’re sworn to tell me the truth.”

“Yes.” He closed his eyes, “Please, Princess. I am soiled with blood, I don’t want it touching you.”

“No? Then perhaps you should’ve exercised more self-control.” You quipped. Deciding to make things more difficult, you climbed into his lap, your knees on either side of his thighs. There was a lot less blood on his legs than on his chest or arms, but you could still feel a bit of it seeping into the gentle fabric of your silk dress. Good thing you were wearing red.

His eyes squeezed shut even tighter. Self-control you had said. Was this a test? Did you want him to sit still? Then he would. His bloodied hands were balled up in fists beside him.

“You defend me fiercely,” You said. “kind of like a dog, don’t you think.”

It wasn’t a real question, he knew you were just mocking him for his behavior. You knew about him. You know how sick he is for you.

“My fierce dog,” You grinned, “protecting me from any man that speaks his filthy words to me.”

You were perfect, so perfect. His goddess.

“Do you want a reward for your behavior? For protecting me?” You asked. Criston was amusing to you. It was boring at court, having so many people try to flatter themselves into gaining your favor, men trying to marry you for power. But Criston Cole was different; he was genuinely dedicated to you. As a member of the Kingsguard, he had nothing to gain from being with you.

“Reward?” He rasped, his eyes fluttering open, curious. You had never look so pretty as you did in this moment; smiling at him whilst sat atop his lap.

“Yes, a reward. I can give you a kiss, if you’d accept?”

“A kiss?” He questioned, shocked at your proposal.

You giggle at him, moving close enough that your noses are touching, “Is that a ‘no’? Do you not want a kiss from your princess?”

He does. He really does. But how could he dare dishonor you by accepting? A Princess of the realm should not be kissing her guard. Your reputation would be ruined if anyone were to find out.

“Can’t.” He eventually sputtered, his forehead resting against yours.

“And why not? Do you not fantasize about it? What other fantasies do you have?”

His eyes were squeezed shut, but he could hear the smirk in your voice. “I— yes, but Princess….” He cut himself off before he finished, you must save your affections for your future husband.

He held back a snarl; he didn’t want you to have a future husband, at least not one that wasn’t him. But he was not allowed to be married and even if he were, he was not high-born like you. Your father would never approve.

“Answer me, Cole, tell me what you imagine occurring between us.” You were getting frustrated with him, this was supposed to be easy, “Look back up at me properly.”

He did as you said and more; finally letting his urges control him, he pushed his lips to yours. His hands, the blood now beginning to dry and stick, gripped at your waist tightly. You gasped into his mouth, quick to reciprocate with your hands pulling at his dark locks.

“‘Think about marrying you,” he muttered against your lips, “keeping you safe, an’ you thanking me all pretty. So pretty, you’re perfect.”

Placing your hand flat on his chest, you pull away by just an inch, “Thanking you, huh? Is that what you want?”

“‘Just want you to love me. Want you to be mine, just for me. I could— I can give you anything, just ask. We can leave here— and be together—!”

You giggled, “You’re getting too excited, Ser Criston. I’m a princess, you know.”

“There— there are places, my Love,” he let out a shocked huff as you pushed him onto his back, “in Essos, where titles do not matter.”

“Is that so?” You moved up his body before settling on his stomach, which was still covered in tainted armor. “And what would we do there? Build a farm? Have babies?”

“Yes.” A part of him could tell you were only teasing, but it was overshadowed by the part of him yearning for a life with you.

You slowly bent down, your body flush against his, and whispered into his ear, “You want to put a few babies in me?”

Not thinking, he reached up a hand and held the back of your head to keep you in place, “More than a few. They’ll inherit your beauty, my Love.”

“Mmm,” You grabbed his hand and sat back up, “your eyes and my hair?”

“Or the opposite.”

Laughing, you tilted your head back, still gripping his right hand between yours. Your laugh eventually subsided with a happy sigh, and you looked back at him. You had so much power over the big man laying happily beneath you, it was funny. He was staring at you obediently, waiting for you to say or do something. Slowly, you slid the black glove off his fingers and pulled his hand up to your lips. He watched as you placed soft kiss to each of his bruised knuckles. His hand was so large beside your features.

“I’m quite fond of you. What should I do if my father refuses to see reason and executes you for your crimes?” It wouldn’t happen, you both knew. But he was happy to entertain your questions, just so long as you were talking to him and touching him.

“I would only ask that I’d be buried where you can visit. I do not desire to be far from you, even in death.” His hand gripped yours tightly at that.

As morbid as the conversation was getting, Criston had never felt so good. You were truly seeing him in this moment, and you didn’t even mind his sickness. You weren’t afraid, you liked it, even. You liked that he would so easily kill for you and how he’d die for you without issue just as long as you would keep him in death.

You hummed in satisfaction, “You’re giving me very good answers, are you sure you aren’t trying to trick me?”

“I would never deceive you.” He sat up, suddenly serious. His quick movements shook you physically, but you didn’t seem surprised. In order to hold on and keep from falling as you slid back down to his lap, one of your arms wrapped its way around his neck.

You snickered at his reaction, placing a short kiss to his lips, “‘Was only a jest. I know you would never do such a thing. You would never upset me, would you?”

“No.” He whispered, kissing from your lips, down to your jaw softly, “I love you.”

“How much?” You breathed, your eyes fluttering shut.

“More than anything— anyone.” He kept going, sure to reach every bit of open space he could, “You are the very center of my existence, nothing else matters. You’re everything to me. I want you like this forever.”

“Forever? No matter what I do to you?”

His mouth was now below your ear, gently sucking a mark into your skin, “You can do no wrong, my Love, everything you bring me is a gift.”

There were droplets of red still on his face and neck from the blood splatter, but you didn’t mind. Neither of you seemed to care any longer about the gore; the way your red dress was now soaked in it from touching his armor.

You still hadn’t yet released his right hand, and he never dared to pull away. Humming from the pleasure, you slowly brought his hand to rest on your thigh. He immediately adjusted himself so that his fingertips were digging into the soft skin, afraid to move otherwise. Very slowly, you began to rock your hips against him. You could hear his already intense breathing pick up.

“And if my father decides to marry me off?” You whisper into his neck.

Criston lifts his head, dark obsessive eyes boring into your own, “Then I shall kill whatever Lord he chooses.”

x

- venus

#criston cole x reader #yandere hotd #yandere criston cole #dark criston cole #obsessive criston cole #criston cole #hotd x reader #targaryen reader #targaryen oc #yandere x reader #dark! hotd #hotd smut #house of the dragon #game of thrones #fire and blood #yandere got #got x reader #yandere house targaryen

[lusthurts]

**SPOILER WARNING FOR THE RED WHITE AND ROYAL BLUE MOVIE**

This movie was very entertaining. It hit all the beats of a great rom-com. I personally enjoyed the music a lot, even if it was at times very different from the music in the book. Nicholas Galitzine was a standout of the main cast for me - he really made me feel Henry’s angst just like the book did, and I think this is a character that the film truly did justice. My personal favorite character from the movie though was Zahra - Sarah Shahi was absolutely incredible. She had fantastic comedic timing and her dynamic with Alex, Henry, Shaan, and Ellen. I really enjoyed Bea, Nora, & Pez as well, although I think they were severely underused and I kinda hated how the Nora/Pez dynamic worked without June. I think the romance was beautiful - I particularly enjoyed the polo scene, the karaoke scene, the Texas stuff, and the V&A museum.

I also laughed out loud a ton during the movie. Zahra’s scenes were hilarious, and the royal wedding/cake debacle was handled perfectly. I miss June here a bit, but I generally was very satisfied with how it all went down. Also, despite many fans early fears of a lack of chemistry between Nick and Taylor, I thought their chemistry was fantastic. Maybe not the best I’ve ever seen, but it was definitely believable, entertaining, and one of the most compelling parts of the story.

I also liked that we got more of Henry’s POV than we did in the book. It didn’t add a ton in my opinion, but I do think it allowed Nicholas Galitzine to show off his acting chops. I think the heart of the book remains, and after the press/everything I’d heard about the movie going into it, I was pleasantly surprised with how the political stuff was handled. Alex’s arc with Texas in particular was beautiful, and I think the end of the movie left me with a similar feeling to the book.

As for things I didn’t love, and I will say there were kind of a lot of small things, I’ve made a list that I’m sure no one cares much to read.

I missed June a lot. I identify a lot with her character, and although I totally understand why she was cut out (I do think in the book she serves less plot purpose than Nora), I actually think the choice to exclude her made even less sense after seeing the movie than before seeing it. Nora and Alex’s relationship felt very underdeveloped in the movie, and none of the romantic elements that I thought made their relationship important to the book ended up mattering at all in the movie. He kisses a different girl on New Year’s, there’s no mention of a sexual history between them, there’s no fake dating setup to detract from Alex/Henry, and Nora’s just generally absent. I feel like June would’ve served that purpose fine if not better.

The romance felt kind of rushed. The whole Christmas phone call that imo is so crucial to Henry & Alex’s relationship and character development doesn’t happen at all (probably because his parents are still together), and I didn’t have like a timer or clock or anything but it felt like the 100 or so pages leading up to the NYE kiss was like less than 20 minutes.

I hated that Alex’s parents were happily married, and I think it massively takes away from his character development. His arc honestly fell very short for me which is disappointing since he’s a character I identify so closely with. I don’t feel like they do his like major anxiety justice, and I think he goes from kinda being an idealist, reckless dummy to being a heartfelt, romantic, ready for a big commitment guy in the span of a few minutes.

I honestly could’ve done without the sex scenes. They were good, and I could tell the intimacy coordinator slayed with this one, but they were more explicit than the book imo (especially the one in Paris), and while I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that, I would’ve much rather had more fade to black so as to save screen time to develop the romance more at the beginning.

I didn’t enjoy the Miguel character at all. He has no character development, and I do not at all understand how this character is the Luna/Liam blend he was promoted as. He functions as a ruthless journalist who despite being queer himself decides to out Henry and Alex to the entire world, and we NEVER get an explanation for why. It’s alluded to that maybe Miguel had feelings for Alex and did it because he resented Alex for not feeling the same? But like, he literally outed two prominent figures to the entire world at risk of benefitting a homophobic predator running for office. And he never apologizes? Or faces any repercussions???? Like this is just kind of there?? And that is NOT AT ALL Rafael Luna or Liam who are both generally speaking positive forces in Alex’s life. I just don’t get it at all.

This is a personal issue I had that most probably don’t care about, but I’m from Minnesota, and seeing Minnesota red in the movie was infuriating. MN is not a swing state, never really has been, and was basically the only state in the upper midwest to stay blue in the 2016 election. I’m biased because this is my home state, but MN would NEVER vote red and I’m kinda just annoyed at the implication that it did instead of them just choosing to blame it on all the actual swing states.

Okay those are my thoughts. I doubt anyone cares that much, but I needed to get it out of my system. I will say I really enjoyed the movie, and I can see why the bulk of reviews are positive. I think anyone who didn’t read the book won���t feel like anything is missing, and fans of the book will for the most part still really enjoy it. I will definitely be rewatching when it comes out officially on Amazon Prime tomorrow, and I can see myself rewatching hundreds more times in the future. But it sort of needs to exist independent of the book for me, I guess. And that’s okay! I think everyone involved did a great job with the adaptation, and I look forward to watching it again.

#red white and royal blue #rwrb #firstprince #red white and royal blue movie #red white and royal blue review

[black-aurora-nora]

Doll House Pt. 1| Platonic!Yandere Shinaguzawa Brothers x Reader

For @tengensimp (this will be the last no age request I do. From now on if someone requests and doesn’t have their age in the bio, I won’t do it and will block you)

“(Y/N)?” A hand grabbed at your shoulder and shook you gently and you quickly slapped the hand away.

“I’m already awake.” You snapped tiredly, bringing your warm blanket up to cover your head.

Every morning, you wake up to the same voice and face. A face that you once liked but have now grown to hate.

“Then get up, I need to change your bandages.” Genya sighed, as if he were dealing with a troublesome teenager.

You didn’t move, only closing your eyes once again as you slowed your breathing. Maybe Genya would take the hint for once and leave you alone.

But of course, like the caring person he believed he was, Genya did not take the hint and roughly tugged at your cover, “(Y/N).” He warned.

Tired of hearing his voice, you sat up and pulled the covers away from your bandaged feet with a huff, “Here. Hurry up and fuck off.”

Genya huffed back as he slowly began to take off the bandages, studying the deep slices at the bottom of your feet. They definitely looked better than 2 weeks ago, but you still weren’t ready to walk yet.

“You’re feet are healing good. You may be able to walk sooner than Sanemi and I thought.” He stated.

“Great.” You replied sarcastically.

Genya glared at you, “What’s going on? Why the hell are you so mad lately? Are your feet still bothering you?"

You knew that the insanity was probably clouding his mind, but you couldn’t help but stare at him like he was stupid. How could someone be so oblivious?

“Yeah, my feet that have been sliced and fractured are still bothering me,” You droned, “But it may also be the fact that I don’t want to be here with people that kidnapped me.”

Genya only sighed at that, “I know it’s boring being stuck in the house all day, but that doesn’t mean that you should say hurtful things to your bro-“

“You are not my brother!” You snapped, “Neither you or Sanemi are family to me. I’d rather you leave me for the maggots than pretend to love you.” You growled.

Genya only stared at you, his eyes reading a mix of pain and sadness. They sharpened with hot anger; a look that could kill.

“You think you don’t need me?” He challenged.

You didn't like his tone, but you were far too angry to not bite back. “I don’t. You guys are the ones who made me this way!” Everything was their fault. You were taking care of yourself just fine before Sanemi attacked you that night.

“You don't need me?" He repeated knowingly, as if you were a child having a tantrum. Slowly, he rose from his spot and shrugged, a hard look on his face, "Alright, we'll see about that."

The door slid shut and you were left alone once again with just your thoughts.

You huffed, rolling back over to sleep again.

Genya didn't speak to you for most of the day. The only time he helped you was when you begged to use the bathroom, but other than that, he acted as if you were a fly on the wall.

Not eating for the day sucked, but you didn't mind it too much. It was nice to get time away from Genya's coddling.

On day 6, you decided that enough was enough. Genya was acting ridiculous.

He and his brother were the one's that put you in this fucked up situation. He couldn't just decide to stop caring for you just because you hurt his feelings. It's like he wasn't even thinking about how you felt being kidnapped.

Your feet were beginning to itch and ache from lack of care. You couldn’t wrap them yourself since Genya purposely stored them where you couldn’t reach the bandages or the ointment.

You couldn’t really eat anything of real nutritional value either since he’d put most of the food in unreachable places.

Now, you were beginning to realize that he’d planned all of this. He wanted you to beg for him. He needed you to need him.

You'd weakly crawled out onto the engawa, watching him train.

"Genya." You called out. He stopped and looked at you with expecting eyes, "You know that you have to help me, so just do it. I don't care anymore.”

Instead of helping you like you’d asked, he went back to training.

Your mouth gaped like a fish and you called for him again, “I won’t complain anymore, I promise. I’ll do everything you and Sanemi say, okay?”

Nothing.

“Genya… please. I’m hungry.” You begged softly, “My feet hurt and I can’t change the bandages by myself… I don’t want them to get infected, Genya, please.”

There was still no response and you felt your resolve melting little by little each time Genya didn’t answer you.

Your feet hurt so bad and your stomach churned got something other than soup.

“Genya…” Your voice wobbled, “Please help me. I need your help.” You told him with bitter tears, “I need your help with my bandages and I need your help to eat…”

He finally stopped training and looked at you with knowing eyes, “You do?” He asked in a mocking tone. “My little sister needs her big brother?”

“Yes.” You bit out.

He picked you up with a warm smile, “I’m glad you realized that you do need us.” Instead of taking you back to your room, he headed back outside.

“Where are we going?” You asked.

Genya chuckled at the question, as if you were a child, “You stink! We’re going to take quick bath and then we’ll worry about eating and changing your bandages.”

#yandere #yandere scenario #yandere x reader #yandere x y/n #platonic yandere #yandere kny #yandere demon slayer #genya shinazugawa #kny sanemi #kny genya x reader #anime #kidnap tw #tw cursing #tw injury #tw manipulation #tw infantilization #female reader

[belphieslavenderscentedpillow]

Dear Solomon

The clock was ticking rather slowly. It felt as if time was going by slower on purpose. I look out of the window, feeling an empty hole in my heart. A hole that was carved out by him.

It’s been 209 days. I mark the date on the calender, but it seems so mundane. Was it Tuesday? Thursday? Friday? Sunday? What year was it? 2019?

All I remember, all I care about is that it’s been 209 days. 209 days since I’ve seen him. 209 days since I’ve heard his voice. 209 days since I’ve touched him. 209 days since I felt his lips on mine.

It’s been 209 days.

Without him, the rain just didn’t feel the same way it did when I first felt it with him. The kiss we had, the love we shared. Now the same rain just didn’t feel like the way it used to.

I miss him.

I know it’s stupid to hold onto the past. Especially if it’s been so long since we’ve seen each other. But I can’t help but ponder why he left.

We’ve not known each other for very long. But in the time we learned about each other we learned a lot. And I loved learning more about him. I knew what makes him laugh. His favourite colour and all the places he’s been to. I knew his favourite food and his inability to make it. I knew his passions, and I knew what he liked and hated about himself. I knew..

The list could go on.

I knew him so well, but it felt as though I knew nothing at all.

He never told me about his family. I didn’t push, but that didn’t stop my curiosity from growing.

He never told me about his friends, even after I asked why.

Solomon never liked the question why.

It’s like he hates everything that has to do with it. Not only does he hate it’s presence, but he also ignores it when its high in the room.

“Why have you never told me about your friends?”

“Why do you never stay in one place for long?”

“Why do you never tell anyone about yourself?”

“Why are you upset?”

“Why do you not like them?”

“Why do you never answer my letters?”

….why do you never answer me, solomon?

209 letters.

One for each day we’ve been apart. I know he reads them: he just chooses not to answer.

100 reasons to leave.

But I just need one reason. One reason that’ll make me believe that he still loves me.

Just one reason.

It didn’t matter, really. This is a daily thing. Wondering about Solomon. I think about him, a lot. I try not to, but usually,

I forget that.

It felt as though my life was falling apart, because of me. And I missed the people in my life. I especially missed my best friend, but she was still disappointed with me, after what I did a few days ago.

I heard an aggressive knock on the door. I shift the weight to my legs and get up from my bed tiredly. Everything felt boring without him. I stalk towards the door, peaking my head through the crack. When I notice who’s face it was, my eyes go wide.

“Hello Mc.”

“ thirteen?”

Thirteen and I were close. You could call us best friends but we were more than that. We were family to each other. Through thick and thin, that’s everything we’ve been through. We’ve known each other for years.

But, we’ve grown apart.

“Hey thirteen, wanna hang out? We could go out, have dinner-“

“Sorry doll, can’t.”

“Hey thirteen wanna talk? It’s been a while.”

“Sorry Mc, busy..”

After a while, I just stopped trying. I knew she was hiding something, but I didn’t want to pry. I knew it wasn’t me she was avoiding, more like she was scared that I’d find out something about her that she didn’t want me to find out. But it still hurt.

It hurt that she didn’t trust me.

It hurt that she’s been avoiding me for the past 2 years.

It hurt that we weren’t talking after we used to talk every day.

It hurt that she didn’t even explain why she was doing it.

That’s something she and Solomon have in common.

“What are you doing here?” I didn’t mean for it to come out as roughly as it did, but you can’t control everything. I was upset, and disappointed. I’ve been wanting to talk to her for ages, but even after all those years; she still didn’t trust me, after I trusted her with my life.

Life.

Life is an interesting and beautiful thing. 209 days ago, it still was beautiful. 678 days ago was the best life’s ever been. With my best friend and Solomon.

Life is also a tricky subject for both of the people dearest to me, because every time I say, life’s beautiful, or I hope we’ll stick together, the atmosphere turns somber and depressing.

Why? I wish I knew. And if life was a tricky subject, death was a topic that was off limits for both of them. Why?

I don’t know.

“I’m sorry.” She looks at me sadly.

In retrospect, I should’ve just been the bigger person. It was probably a touchy subject for her, whatever it was she was hiding from me. So I should’ve just forgiven her.

But I was so hurt. From everything in my life right now. It’s a reason, not an excuse. But I was hurt.

From her and Solomon shutting me out of their life.

I slammed the door in her face.

I let the tears stream down on my face. I cry into the pillow. Something I’ve grown used to.

I could dream about the idea of reuniting with my friend, with my lover, but I don’t even know if they even see me that way anymore.

Do they even see me the same way I see them?

All the things I do for them, writing letters, planning dates. Everything just to be left with no answers, no love, absolutely nothing.

I get up from my gross bed, and walk towards my desk, wiping away my tears. I take out all the letters I got from Solomon, and burn them in the fireplace.

At least, that’s what I wanted to do, but instead I wrote one last letter.

Dear Solomon,

Where have you been? I’ve been waiting for your reply, but you never answer. I’m tired of waiting for you. I know you don’t love me as much as I love you, but this is cruel, even for you. All I ever needed was one reply from you, but you never answered.

MC.

Even if the letter wasn’t written with 100% of honesty, I was fine with it.

Because all I wanted, was to get a reaction out of him.

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me solomon #obey me x reader #obey me solomon x mc #obey me thirteen #obey me swd

[everlasting-rainfall]

!-MINORS DO NOT INTERACT AT ALL-!

!-POTENTIAL TRIGGER WARNINGS-!

Stalking, Transformation, Rough S*x, Breeding, Transformation, Arlong being Arlong

!-POTENTIAL TRIGGER WARNINGS-!

!-MINORS DO NOT INTERACT AT ALL-!

Imagine Arlong accidentally managing to fall in love with a human who is you and he absolutely hates it like he wants to get rid of you but he can’t bring himself to do it

So he decides to just watch you from afar, loving you and hating that he loves you because you’re a human who he doesn’t think deserves the love of a far superior fishman

You’re likely to take notice of him but when you try to say hello, he just looks incredibly pissed off at you and you can’t possibly understand why causing you to just try to ignore him from now on

Now imagine if Arlong sees you do something that turns him on like maybe your clothes are just a bit too revealing for him during a hot day or maybe it was the way that you ate something or even you bent over while wearing a skirt accidentally giving him full view of you

You’re absolutely doing this on purpose, Arlong is convinced of it and you need to take responsibility for doing such things…

So imagine him suddenly getting close of his own accord for once, he approaches you and the second that you say something. He grabs you and the next thing you know, you’re being pounded into by a fishman

His cock is hammering in and out of you, he doesn’t slow down either no matter how much you beg and plead for him to just go slower as his roughness hurts

He could be fucking you right where he found you but he could also be doing it inside of your home sitting on one of your chairs or having you up against a wall but no matter the position, he’s showing no mercy

This man is growling at you telling you that it’s your fault that you’re in this position right now as you somehow managed to make him fall in love with you so you just need to lay back and take it, he’ll decide when you’ve been punished enough for this

Plus as well for something that I think would be nice to add, imagine if during it you start to turn into a fishman just like him as if some kind of deity out there is making it so that he can have you without being angry about you being a human

Imagine as well though that if you get turned into a fishman, you wind up under some kind of hypnosis as well to make you think that this entire thing is completely fine and like Arlong is your husband or something which he has absolutely no problem with you believing

In fact, he would be overjoyed if you started calling him loving terms of endearment while he’s pounding your new fishman body against the nearest surface like this man is probably getting rather loud too like he’s far more into it now

However if that doesn’t happen then he’s still likely to intend to knock you up with his superior fishman babies at the end as well like he is going to make your belly absolutely swell up in order to put you to some use other than as a sex toy for him

You belong to him now by the way like chances are that regardless of whether or not you’re a fishman or not, you are not allowed to talk to anyone that he doesn’t approve of which probably isn’t a lot of people like let’s be honest

But luckily for you when it comes to the other members of Arlong’s crew like Choo, Kuroobi, and Hatchan. They’re more than allowed to speak to you but I wouldn’t recommend getting too friendly with them as I did say More Than Allowed

So if you don’t want to be taking all sorts of fishman cock then I’d recommend just sticking around Arlong, you’re never getting away from him after all and he’ll ensure it

After all it is your fault that he fell in love with you so he’s just making you take responsibility…

#minors dni #yandere #yandere one piece #reader insert #read the trigger warnings #yandere male #minor dni #Yandere Arlong #Yandere Fishmen

[neerons]

Hey, how are you?? I hope you are doing great. I love all of your masquerade kiss posts and everything else you write because you put so much effort into them. You explain the MK characters in such a deep, fascinating way that it's admirable, and I kinda miss your analysis, lol. I have a question, tho if you are interested and free to answer. What is one thing you personally hate and love about the MK mc and the LI all 4 of them and if their is anything you would like to change about the game??. Like any route incident or character trait?? I believe their is a lot to say where MK is heading personally for the characters, both good and bad, tbh I would love to know your answer. Anyways, take care and have a great day ❤️

Hey ❤️ I’m doing alright even though I’ve been sick since yesterday, thank you for asking! I hope you’re doing good as well

Thank you for these thoughtful words. You always make my days whenever you say such nice things 🥹 I’m glad if my analyses are appreciated or helpful, I try to be as faithful to the representation of the title as I can while I give my own thoughts. Telling me I do it well and in a fascinating way means so much to me, thank you again ❤️

Things I love and hate about the Masquerade Kiss characters? Anything I’d like to change about the game?

To answer your question, there are many things I love about the characters and nothing I hate, or particularly dislike. Hatred would be a big word to use and if I hated anything about the title, I would find it hard to read it to be honest. I think this title is perfect for me as it has everything I love within it, which is why I’m really passionate about it. The things that tend to be "less good" about the characters are aspects of their personality that represent their flaws, so it’s only natural to like them less, and I have to say, I think their flaws are very well chosen. Maybe I sound like a simp for the title haha, but then so be it 🤣

The Masquerade Kiss MC

What I especially love about her character is that she successfully represents what I had always hoped to see in a MC. I personally was often used to seeing MCs that, while very lovely in their own way, were very "flat" and not especially interesting with their personality. Due to the fact that writers try to make sure the readers can self insert and project onto the MCs, earlier MCs were somehow very bland, or "weak", and submissive in a bad way for the sake of the self insert and LI. With newer titles, this problem seems to be less present though!

When I say they are weak I don’t mean their physical strength by the way, but rather the fact that they are so kind they are completely selfless. I think that if done right, such a representation can be beautiful, but more often than not, I saw MCs who were so "kind" their character was being crushed by their LI and they completely lacked anything that could be relatable to most readers, if that makes sense. It was in my opinion bad writing, because it was very one sided and only served the purpose to go faster with the story to learn more about the LI.

Compared to that, the MK MC is sooo well written in my opinion. She has everything, and without any extremes. She’s an independent and capable woman with a strong and kind personality, but she doesn’t reject others or love nor does she act as a man hater (thankfully, she didn’t fall into that annoying type of feminist writing). She’s extremely strong both physically and mentally, but she can still be sensitive, cute and have her weaknesses at times. She’s all about justice and doing what’s right, but can admit her own mistakes and adapt her judgment when she sees that what she believes in isn’t always right. Despite her intelligence, she can be a bit silly especially with the right crowd. She fits in very well with the 3S’ due to that reason and is often either as exasperated as Yuzu, or takes part in all their weirdness and banter

She’s also extremely beautiful, which is a breath of fresh air for me because the amount of times that I’ve read stories where the LIs often mentioned that the MC was plain looking or ugly at first… I actually don’t think it’s bad to have an average looking or "ugly" MC, but after the other titles or games that I’ve played, it was good to finally have a MC all the LIs could basically admire and compliment like she’s a literal goddess. Especially if the reader is supposed to project onto the MC (it’s nicer to be expected to look like Venus rather than Gollum…🤣) To be honest, whenever I read titles, I always imagine the MC to look like my OC, so it hurts to see the LIs think she’s not especially pretty at first 🥹

As for what I don’t like about her, nothing really in particular, but there are things I wished I could have seen more. In her character introduction in the app, she’s described as a sort of sister figure to other women, but I’ve never seen that yet.

I’ve seen women either be friendly, or jealous, but I’ve never seen her have a sort of sisterly role towards any females. Given her career, it wouldn’t be odd for her to be admired by other fellow agents too so I kind of wish to see that. I actually really hope we can even see her actual family and have her meet her younger siblings. We had a few interactions with her parents and especially her mom, but I hope we get to meet her brother and sister as well. It would bring a lot more characterization to her.

Some people could also argue that in Kazuomi’s route, she’s often left aside to give place to Kazuomi who’s always a few steps ahead of her, and therefore her talents and character isn’t as fully explored compared to other routes. Personally that doesn’t bother me a lot, because it’s already been clear how good she is, and Kazuomi is definitely the main guy with a lot of depth to his own character, so it makes sense that it’s tougher for her to shine when she’s against him. That doesn’t remove any of her greatness. Her being the way she is is already exceptional if we take into account that a lot of other MCs never reached her level of characterization

Kei

There are many things I like about Kei. His story, first of all, which I didn’t expect to turn out this way at all the first time I’ve read his first season. Seeing his growth and changes have felt like going on a journey. If he’s potentially not interesting to read as a LI, I’d say he’s at least great to read simply for the whole character development and story building. He’s slow burn, which may not be appealing to many, but it feels worth it whenever we reach the stages we have wished to see.

I would argue that the writing of his route make him one of the best, if not the best, story among Voltage titles. I say this despite liking Kazuomi’s route the most, because I can only bow down to such a beautiful route. It’s so unique and difficult and confusing at the same time. It’s like you’re experiencing what he feels about love alongside him. He has so many sides to him that give him a lot of depth, and I didn’t expect to witness this type of character before.

His trauma and story telling is handled in a very bold way. I had never seen Voltage write such a tragic background story before. It’s not like I’ve read every title out there, but from everything I could see, it seems like MK overall is very unique. I also love his sense of humor and his playful attitude. He’s a big tease, which is perfect to enhance Kazuomi’s own playfulness and to get on Yuzu’s last nerves

Something I wish would have been different in his story however would be how Caleb was handled at the end of his arrest once they managed to stop him. I just wish it would have been more spectacular. The final fight wasn’t bad, but it could have had more impact, more spice to it in the fighting scenes ✨

Yuzu

He’s great, and so are his flaws. I always think about how his qualities and flaws are perfect combinations, he is pretty relatable and realistic. I once heard something that approximately said that, in a given trait, all our qualities have a "trap", and that these traps basically lead to our flaws. In this case, I always thought how Yuzu’s perfectionism can turn into stubbornness and lead to frustration. Just like his sensitivity is hidden and shut down by his rationality a lot of times. I think he can be very relatable, especially to those who struggle to open up and communicate their feelings, even with themselves.

I really like that he uses his knowledge about technology to face his problems, such as saying that when he and the MC argue, they have a "bug" that needs to be fixed. It’s really cute and adds to his hard working or nerdy nature. He obviously always tries to do his best and while it’s hard for him to admit it, he’s very fond of his closed ones and will always be there for them. I also love how he is intelligent in many ways. He’s not narcissistic or condescending to those who appear less intelligent than him, he always wants to do better and takes others’ opinions into consideration if they matter.

As for what I’m hoping to see in the game for him, I’d say more interactions between him and Kazuomi. Maybe due to having the same writer, it seems Yuzu and Kei are shown to be especially close but we know they all share a deep bond with different dynamics. It would be nice to see more key moments that would show the type of bond they have as well, since Yuzu is said to respect Kazu a lot in his own character introduction

Kazuomi

Of course there are way too many things I love about this man since he’s my favorite. I love how confident he is, how he always manages to stay in control of things, and how fun he can be. He’s the type of character that makes you think everything will be alright in the end. I also love that this personality he has might not be his actual one, and I’m only looking forward to seeing how he really is. He’s really mysterious at times, and his past seems to be deeply present in his mind even now. He’s the only one who is the most discreet when it comes to opening up about it, so it’s really making me curious to know what happened.

What I love the most is how good and unique his relationship with the MC is. They’re at the same time completely compatible personality-wise, and at the same time, their work make their relationship hard to operate like a normal one. I don’t especially wish anything from his route would be altered, but I’m hoping to see he and MC finally reach a sort of stability in their relationship where they can settle down without thinking that what they have might be temporary. With MC’s job and Kazuomi’s tactics that will make him reveal himself to her one day, we don’t know what will happen between them, but I’m optimistic about their future. They were basically made for each other

Seiichi

I absolutely love him, which is why I will take this opportunity to expose my love and rant about all the things I need to rant about. There are a few things that should have been explored before stopping his stories, which is why I’m mad that they decided to stop writing for him. Things such as seeing more of his older sister, who was implied to appear again to fight back against Seiichi and MC, if I remember correctly. In the end, we won’t know what she would have done if they had decided to continue more with his stories. We also needed to know more about him. About how his grandparents raised him, getting more PoVs of his past, etc…

Something that I’ve found very weird is that when you play Kazuomi’s Ultimate Vacation, you can decide to get a PoV of the Boss. If you choose it, Boss then quickly has a thought about his past, about how the island he grew up in had marijuana plantations, and then you learn that his island ended up destroyed as a result. I didn’t understand why they discontinued his story only to reveal things here and there in other routes. I don’t want breadcrumbs about him, I want the whole bakery (and I say that as a French 😡😂)

Really though, I don’t know what was the point of doing this, I love learning more about him, so it’s all fine with me, but why in Kazuomi’s route? Why make a PoV option for him when you’re only going to show a few lines about his past and then move on to Kazu’s story again? I found all this very interesting and mysterious. Maybe they couldn’t follow with his story since he was the least read of the bunch, so they decided to expose what they had planned for him in the other routes for the fans.

Maybe my only wish was that he wasn’t made out to be such a jerk to MC in Kei’s route S1. I don’t mind that he can appear as an antagonist at first, but this really seemed to have killed a lot of readers’ will to try out his route due to that, when he’s actually a great character with good morals. Lacking readers for his route is most probably the reason why they decided to stop writing for him, too.

There’s something else I wish (maybe?) could have been different in his story. There’s the fact that the EAC is, depending on the route, either depicted as controversial in their way of handling things, or as a good agency that wants to bring justice. It would have been good that in the end, MC didn’t become a senior agent for the EAC in my opinion. I was pretty disgusted by the agency to be honest. It was made clear that the EAC higher ups would have never promoted MC to a senior agent position if it weren’t for Seiichi faking his death (and we never knew why they never wanted her to become one in the end), and it was revealed later on that the EAC lacked agents after Seiichi made sure to "take care" of the agents who were rotten.

Technically, we learned that the EAC they were working for had their bad apples as well. Even if Seiichi took care of them after disappearing, I felt pretty bitter to see MC become a senior agent for the EAC when they didn’t have the intention to choose her willingly at first. And of course I was also super sad because Seiichi wasn’t here anymore, which led her to live without him for a few years before finally reuniting again. I loved their reunion, but I just felt sad that things had to turn out this way for them. I’m thinking that this ending wasn’t planned at first, and they they came up with it as a last resort to end his route earlier, because there are quite a few plot holes that were supposed to be filled later on in future stories.

Aside from that, I loved his route overall and only dislike that they treated him "badly" compared to the other LIs. He’s really mysterious which is what made me so obsessed with learning more about him at first, and then made him my second favorite. I also loved how he protected MC against the EAC when they wanted to pin her as a criminal, and how in other routes he also seems to care for her, even if it’s very subtle.

I feel like with his type of characterization, he was made for readers to interpret his acts a lot. He loves to confuse MC at times and they have this sort of banter where they won’t admit their feelings and will unmask the other, which I really love. I love that he yearns for her quietly and will only show her a fraction of it to tease her, and possibly to indulge himself too

Thank you for the ask, and sorry if my answer was long! Take care as well!! ❤️

#ask #kazuomi shido #yuzuru shiba #kei soejima #seiichi setoyanagi #voltage inc #love 365 #otome game #voltage #love 365 find your story #masquerade kiss #mk #otome games #voltage otome #masquerade kiss boss #mk boss

[kirislovelygf]

something there (kiri sully x metkayina fem! reader)

contents: fluff, wlw flirting, shy kiri, black cat x golden retriever energy, neteyam + lo’ak being supportive brothers, kiri’s crushing HARD, wlw crushing <3

wrd count: 1.5k

a/n: hii my loves!! sorry i’ve been gone for a while, i was going through a breakup and wasn’t in the mood to write any romantic stuff, but i’m back now!! and feeling much better <3

✮ ✮

it’s been four months since the sully’s arrived.

the kids have started to grow accustomed to life on awa’atlu.

olo’eyktan tonowari’s daughter has especially grown closer to the siblings, having close relationships with all of them.

except kiri. y/n wanted to be friends with her, admiring her beauty and curiosity of the island but she never made an effort to talk to her.

because the first thing kiri noticed was that y/n became friends with neteyam first.

those two became best friends first, having many things in common.

one day, neteyam and y/n were hunting together in the reef and they began talking.

“hey, what’s the matter with your sister?” she asked him while pulling up a fishing net from the water.

they stood in the shallow water, observing the life that scattered all over the sand below.

“what do you mean?” he replied, helping her pick up the net.

“like… is she shy on purpose? she’s barely said two sentences to me since you got here.” she continued.

he laughs softly. “i’m serious, is something wrong with her or does she just hate me?”

“she doesn’t hate you. i think she actually really likes you but is intimidated by you.” he said.

“what? i’m not intimidating.” she scoffed.

neteyam side eyes her and scoffs quietly to himself. he thought she was aware but evidently, she wasn’t.

“yes, you are. i didn’t get a smile out of you until i spoke to you. up until then, you just glared at us.” he chuckled.

y/n sighs and turns around to throw the fishing net again.

“she seems nice. i just wish she didn’t look at me like she hated me.” y/n said, catching neteyam’s eyes as he stepped next to her.

“she’s like that with new people.” he shrugs.

“but i’m not new! you’ve known me for four months!” she laughed out.

“to her, you are!” he says. y/n sighs out and watches the water in front of her.

“i’ll put in a good for you later tonight. maybe then she’ll pay some attention to you.” he says.

y/n gasps as she looked up at him. “you’re the best!”

“don’t thank me till you get a date with her.” he chuckled, nudging her shoulder. she laughs softly.

the two friends continue to fish for their families before heading home later to eat them in the afternoon.

as neteyam sat in his bungalow with lo’ak and kiri, eating and talking, neteyam brought up y/n as casually as possible.

“y/n helped me catch all this, you know. she’s so cool.” he said.

kiri says nothing, just looks at him.

“oh yeah, she’s helping me make my own crossbow tomorrow.” lo’ak mentioned.

“oh cool. you should go with him, kiri.” neteyam suggested.

she stared at him for a moment, wondering why he would ask her to do that. and she asks him.

“why would i do that?” she asks, laughing almost.

neteyam keeps the act up and shrugs. “you could get to know her better. she’s nice.”

“i guess. she seems kind of like a mean girl..” kiri mumbled.

“she’s not mean! she’s super nice, i promise.” he responded.

“she doesn’t care i exist neteyam. i’d rather stay here.” she shrugged.

“fine, i’m telling dad.” he said quickly. lo’ak rolls his eyes. he’s heard that sentence in his life more times than he can count.

“fine! god, i hope you drown..” she muttered.

neteyam smiled to himself, now knowing there’s nothing else left for him to do except watch as their romance blossoms.

a couple hours pass and kiri was in her room in the bungalow and lo’ak was about to go into his when neteyam pulled him aside.

“hey, i need a favor from you.” he whispered.

“depends.” lo’ak responded.

“i’m trying to get kiri and y/n together. so, tomorrow, tell her dad kept you busy with something and you can’t make it. but don’t tell kiri, she’s still gonna go with y/n.”

lo’ak shrugs. “uh.. okay.”

“thanks. and don’t say anything!” he scolded.

“i won’t! i can keep a secret.” lo’ak argued.

to be clear, lo’ak cannot keep a secret to save his life. he’s too much of a gossip.

so. lo’ak was struggling being anywhere near kiri.

the next day comes and kiri is walking down the beach to meet up with y/n. she wasn’t worried about showing up alone because lo’ak lied and told her he’d be there later because their dad had asked him to do something.

kiri met up with y/n, who was fixing up her own crossbow while sitting comfortably on a woven knitted blanket draped over a boulder.

kiri watched her in the morning sun, as she calmly sharpened her knife that she used to make the said crossbow.

she starts to fidget with her fingers, hesitating before approaching her, but y/n looks up.

she smiled at kiri and waved her over. kiri sighs and walks over to her.

“good morning, kiri.” y/n gets up and gives kiri a kind hug.

“oh, morning, y/n.” she said, nervously hugging her back.

y/n pulls away, thinking she shouldn’t have hugged kiri with how tense she was.

“uhm, is your brother coming?” she asked her.

“yeah. but our dad asked something of him so he will be with us later.” kiri explained.

“ah.. okay. well, we can get started.” y/n smiled kindly. kiri blushed at her kind demeanor and followed her to sit on the boulder.

y/n gave kiri all the materials to make a crossbow and showed her step-by-step how to put it together and how to decorate it so others will know it’s hers.

“this reminds me of when au’nung taught me how to make mine when i was younger.” y/n smiled softly.

“oh yeah?” kiri muttered.

“mhm. i had carved a hole in the handle and tied a chain of seashells and pearls through it. it broke off a couple years later when i threw it on the floor too aggressively.” she chuckled.

“that happened to me once too. with my bow.” kiri chuckled.

y/n looks up excitedly, seeing kiri finally contributing to the conversation.

“oh really?”

“yeah. lo’ak and i were arguing over something and when i went home, i threw my bow at a tree and it snapped somehow and i had to make a new one.” kiri smiled.

she looms up and sees y/n staring at her, making her quickly try to end it.

“so.. yeah, i learned not to throw stuff around when i’m in a mood.” she muttered.

“not me. my siblings make sure to keep me away from shore when i’m mad so i can’t pick up any rocks to throw.” she shrugs.

kiri laughs softly at her joke. y/n smiles heading her laugh, it was like a little victory for her.

they finish up making the crossbows and y/n takes kiri to the outskirts of the jungle to test it out.

“uhmm.. oh here.” y/n pointed out a fruit tree with colorful fruit hanging down from the branches.

they stepped back far away enough so jodi could test out her new bow.

at the same time, neteyam and lo’ak were looking for fruit for their family to snack on.

they carried baskets against their hips as they walked and talked together.

“oh shit, look.” lo’ak chuckled. he pointed at his sister and his friend.

neteyam gasps and drops his basket.

“okay. go home, find dad’s tablet and run back here as fast as you can.” neteyam whispered.

“what? why?” lo’ak asks.

“so i can take a picture, hurry up! before they leave.” neteyam said.

lo’ak rolls his eyes but does it anyway while neteyam sits down by a tree trunk and waits for him.

“did you hear something?” y/n asked kiri, looking around the jungle.

“uh.. no.” kiri said softly.

“oh. alright, anyways. just pull this top thing back to get the arrow ready.” she instructed.

“see how the thing pulls back like a normal bow and arrow? it’s just the same but smaller and easier.” she said.

“yeah, i wonder why we never had these in the forest.” she asks softly.

“are you guys serious about traditions?” y/n asks, putting her hands on her hips.

“..yeah.”

“that’s probably why.” y/n smirked.

kiri smiled softly at her.

once they had finished and proved kiri’s new weapon worked, they caught a couple fruit and y/n walked kiri home.

“i had fun today.” kiri said softly.

“you did?”

“yeah. to be perfectly honest, i didn’t think you liked me. or even cared that i was here.” kidi admitted, turning to face y/n as they stood outside her hut.

“how could you think i don’t care? i was interested in you the moment you came here.” y/n responded. she didn’t know how it sounded until she saw kiri’s blushing face.

“oh.. so uhm..”

“yeah, uh.. i should get home. but we will hang out soon. maybe later tonight.” y/n said quickly. she was wondering why her heart was beating so fast.

“okay. bye, y/n.” kidi nodded. they stare awkwardly before turning away suddenly.

one hurriedly rushing down the woven dock and the other quickly jumping into the hut and scurrying into her room.

“kiri!”

“what, neteyam!?”

“i got somethin to show youuu…”

✮ ✮

#writing blog #atwow fluff #avatar the way of water #atwow x reader #writers #avatar #kiri sully #kiri x y/n #atwow kiri #kiri sully x reader #wlw #wlw blog #wlw writing #avatar fluff #flirting #avatar fandom #kiri x reader

[letters-from-dekarios]

(Jasper is a snarky drow wild-magic sorcerer/multiclassed rogue. He was pretty careless about his magic until meeting Gale, and his solutions to things still mostly ends up being ‘is it worth lockpicking, or should we just explode it and run?’ He’s closed-off and snippy with people he doesn’t know, but longs for connection at heart. It just… takes a while to get there. He’s quite awkward when he’s actually being open with people. When the two of them are alone, it’s one of the few times Jasper actually is fully himself.

Jasper is illiterate; never learned to read, but ‘begrudgingly’ lets Gale teach him slowly after the events of the game. Still not great, but getting there. While they do live together, Jasper still takes trips to the Underdark every now and again. This letter was written during one of his times there.)

Gale, hello.

(The handwriting drastically changes. While the above line is practically intended into the paper, the rest is written in neat cursive.)

The rest of this letter is being transcribed by Astarion because I don’t feel like sending you something that could be mistaken for a toddler’s journal. Then again, that’s what your handwriting can look like sometimes if you’re tired enough, so maybe you’d find it readable anyway.

What do people even write in letters, anyway? Hello, dearest Gale of Waterdeep, how farest thou in my absence? Psh, he’d laugh at that. He’s cute when he- wait, don’t write that down- hey, give me the-

(There’s some illegible scribbling after that.)

Anyway, Gale. How are your bookshelves? They’re probably dusty. You should dust them.

Did you eat food today? It’s dinnertime. It won’t be when you get this, though, I guess. Hm.

Ok, seriously, what am I supposed to say? Astarion note: He rambled for about five minutes about the uselessness of letters and small talk, darling, I’m not writing all of this down. He misses you, you’re both pathetically in love, it’s absolutely sickening, get a room.

Oh, right. Some of the mushroom people myconids gave me some stuff to bring back to you. I didn’t really stay long enough to figure out exactly what it all is since the whole mind speaking thing makes me nauseous, but there’s some amulet and a couple scrolls.

I also have not blown anything up yet. On purpose. Two explosive surges happened. Whether that’s good or bad is up for debate. There aren’t any of the explodey mushrooms around where I’m staying.

Pet Tara for me.

And if you look like you’ve pulled even one all-nighter when I get back, I’m dragging you to bed. Put your books down and go to sleep, wizard.

~ Jasper

(The name is signed in the same poor handwriting as the greeting)

P.S. Hello. Astarion again, absolute pleasure. Next time, send a scribe with him if you want to be penpals, or I’m going to start charging.

Sweet Jasper,

And Astarion, by default.

No matter the transcriber, you know I adore hearing from you. I’d spend countless nights decoding your handwriting if it meant our communication stayed strong during your nights away. And, for the record, I’m glad you think I’m cute when I laugh. You’re rather adorable when you laugh, too.

I have cleaned the tower in your absence, but it’s quickly returned to dust-filled madness since beginning a new project of mine. No matter, though, it’ll be spotless by the time you return. You’ll be happy to know I’m eating just fine, and Tara can vouch for me on such. She’d have a field day if I didn’t stop and have a meal now and then, no matter how deep I was into a tome.

Thank the Myconids for me. Their scrolls have proved to be rather helpful lately. It’s always a joy to receive new items from them. And, I am glad to hear you’ve not yet blown anything, or anyone for that matter, up! I would hate to have another incident occur and use all of our resurrection spells again. Those are pricey and hard to come by nowadays. Stay strong, darling, I know how much you desire to set fire to things.

I cannot guarantee the state of myself when you return. I’m awfully invested in my current tomes and you know how much I hate losing my place. But I will try, dear.

Enough about me. How are you? I hope your time in the Underdark is serving you well. Have you found anything of interest? I’ll be more than delighted to hear all about your adventure when you return home. The nights grow cold without you by my side, love. But I know how much your journey means to you.

I hope you’re eating well, also. Sleeping just as much, too. Send word when you aim to return home, I’ll have everything ready for you.

Be safe, my love. I hope to hear from you again, soon.

With all my love,

𝑮𝒂𝒍𝒆 𝑫𝒆𝒌𝒂𝒓𝒊𝒐𝒔

Astarion, I thank you for your hard work with Jasper. You know the depths of my coin pouch. Name your price, though not too substantial- I’m not made of money, after all. But, I’d much rather you than a stranger scribe for him.

text reads: gale dekarios

#baldur's gate 3 #fanfiction #for you #for you page #gale dekarios #gale of waterdeep #bg3 #bg3 gale #gale fanfic #answered asks #ask response #asks open #anon answered #send anons #writing #letters #gale #baldurs gate iii #baldurs gate astarion #baldurs gate 3 #bg3 fanfiction #baldur’s gate fanfiction

[absentia-if]

Last Words

Got this idea because of @heleneplays reblog for this post and I couldn’t not do it. I know some of you have been wanting some Kidnapper content and I thought I’d oblige by doing this.

“Oh, little dove,” they sigh, an almost gentle touch threading through the grime-encrusted strands of your hair— blood and mud dulling the usually vibrant colors that lay beneath. “I did warn you how this would end, didn’t I?”

The gloved hand, warm against cooling flesh, shifts to your cheek, long fingers turning your gaze to their unmasked one. A dangerous beauty lurked within the darkness of their eyes— unhindered by a dark cowl, by the shadows they usually stand within, you could see the monster that had finally stepped out.

You hated how much you found them breathtaking. That the danger, the darkness, they offered still enticed you so because they didn’t pretend to be anything otherwise— they may put on a mask, to appease the general public, but they never denied the demon that lurked just beneath the surface of the angelic facade.

Forcing your lips to work, trying to ignore the growing numbness spreading through your limbs like molasses, you speak. “W-Why?”

They don’t say anything in response to your question, an almost stony look flickering across the expanse of their face before the calm neutrality— with just a hint of arrogance— returns.

“Because it’s who I am.”

The response, and the meaning of the words, so much deeper than what they appeared to be at surface level, causes your breath to stutter; darkness begins to leech out from your peripheral vision.

Because it’s who I am.

They were words you had gotten used to. Words, within an elegant scrawl, that were etched across your right side; ever since the day you had been born into this world. The last words your soulmate would ever speak to you.

You couldn’t find it within yourself to open your mouth and say anything else— to find the strength that had left you so long ago while you lay on the grimy floor of a long abandoned warehouse. Nothing else mattered as the world around you began to fade, your heartbeat growing slower and slower as each moment passed, and the only thing that remained was the gentle touch once more at your head.

Even as you slipped away into nothingness.

———————

Why?

Such a simple question. One that every child got the grasp of rather quickly. Why do we have to go? Why do those people not like ice cream? Why can’t I go play outside?

Why?

Those three letters, that simple question, had become something so much more during their life. Becoming the most complex equation that would follow them as they grew, and they became what they are now.

As the red on their hands grew to such a dark crimson it almost matched the blackness of the gloves that usually adorned them.

Why?

Because it’s who they are. They’re a monster, a beast that had been let loose from hell to rain agony on the purgatory of life. Their purpose, their only purpose, was to hunt from the shadows to snuff out the light, which means they never gave the tattoo situated on the left side of their chest any thought. Didn’t think about the being that lived out there— unaware of the monster that forever stained its darkness onto them.

Ignored the possibility of their happy ending. Monsters didn’t get one— evil didn’t know how to love. All it knew how to do was consume and conquer, it didn’t know the softness of a lover's hand or the gentleness of its warmth.

“It’s who I am,” they murmur, hand finally stalling its repeated motion within the dirty strands of hair. The vibrancy of the strands was lost when the figure was too. “It’s who I am.”

Even if sometimes I wish it wasn’t…

Evil didn’t know how to love, but they might have made the exception this one time to learn.

#absentia #the kidnapper #heleneplays #red flags galore #but have this snippet #snippet

[myunluckyjourney]

Hello! I'm having a bit of a rough time so I thought I'd send this ask. What would the turtles be like with a S/O that has anxiety, depression and PTSD? How would they help them if their depression is bad enough that on some days they can't get out of bed, forget to eat, etc? Bonus if S/O is plus-sized/kinda chubby and insecure about it.

Cas saw this one and knew they had to do it! I have AT LEAST half of this stuff!

If you’re personally going through this, I’m so sorry. I know that it’s rough but you’ll get through this, alright? I, for the longest time, didn’t feel like I had any point in living, but I’m finally getting better now, so… Yeah. Sorry about the little rant! Hope you enjoy AND get better!

-Mod Cas

Raph

Alright, so he has a bit of all of the above too?

From being the eldest child that practically raised his brothers alone

But he feels like he HAS to get out of bed in the morning. To help his brothers, you know?

That’s the biggest difference between you two

He is one of the most supportive people you have ever met

Also, personal headcanon time!

I hc him as plus-sized too, he’s just a bit more muscle-y than you though

If you feel insecure about your weight, he kinda relates?

He oftentimes thinks that he’s too big too 🙁

Which is not true

Raph could crush me and I’d thank him afterwards

(Little note: As long as you’re not damaging your health too much, you’re good in my books. It’s also kinda cute to have a little chub in my opinion. I only just got to being average weight a little bit ago, as in I was underweight for most of my life, and dear god, it SUCKS because you feel weak ALL OF THE TIME and it feels like your bones will break under pressure easier. Uh… what I’m saying is, I’d rather be chubbier than thinner. Sorry for the rant)

HE WILL REMIND YOU TO EAT

It’s kinda annoying but also kinda sweet?

He already has to remind Donnie to eat, so he’s used to it

“Hey, SO? Have you eaten anything today?” “... No.”

“... Let’s change that. Come on, I’ll make you some food.”

He wants to squish you so bad but he’s too shy to ask

Please let him squish you once

Leo

ONCE AGAIN, SAME

But less same

He also forgets to eat but it’s more or less purposeful

He has… a complicated relationship with food. On one hand, he likes the taste usually but on the other hand he hates eating

Anxiety? Check

Depression? Double check

PTSD? Possibly check depending on if the Rise Movie has happened yet

He has days where he has trouble getting out of bed too

In fact, it’s not unheard of for him to just… not appear for a day or so

Or at least, only appear for food and drinks… on good days

His brothers don’t entirely know what’s going on with him still

But, not gonna lie, no matter if it’s strictly platonic or not, he is getting out of bed more for you

He feels like you at least deserve his attempts at helping you

And that kinda helps him

Other days, he just lays in bed with you

HE LOVES THAT YOU’RE CHUBBY THOUGH

If you’re okay with it, he likes to squish and poke you

ESPECIALLY YOUR SIDES

He doesn’t have the little chub on his tummy or at least he can’t touch it

Because shell

So he wants to touch yours as much as possible

It just feels so cute!

So it’s lead to moments like-

*stare*

“Leo? You okay?”

*he’s all quiet which is incredibly unnatural for him and he wordlessly squishes your tum*

“... O-Okay?”

THAT’S LITERALLY HOW IT HAPPENED THE FIRST TIME

HE HAD NO IDEA ABOUT HUMAN’S SIDES BEING SO SQUISHY

Cannot cook to save his life so he’ll force the only two brothers that can (Raph and Mikey) to do it for him

Donnie

… I think you get where this is going

All of them have anxiety, depression, and PTSD!

Have you seen my boys?!

LOOK AT THEM!

The only reason he doesn’t have trouble with getting out of bed is because he HAS to be doing something constantly

If he doesn’t, his brain will explode

He forgets to eat a lot as well?

Overall, the worst turtle with his eating habits

Will forget to eat for literal DAYS

In fact, he HAS collapsed (and possibly passed out) because of it

He has HELLA food aversions

Like the textures are just… ugh

Sometimes eating will make him feel REALLY nauseous

He has to be in the mood to eat in order to eat

Yeah, eating disorder Donnie

It’s because he’s autistic and has sensory issues, your honor!

Another person that loves your squish ability–it becomes a stim kinda for him

It’s just relaxing to gently squish you!

He is a lot softer with you than he is with anyone else

But he tries to hide it

Gotta keep up that “emotionally unavailable bad boy” image

You are the only person he is usually willing to touch

There are days that he CANNOT do it though

But it is so much more noticeable that he favors you

At least to Mikey… and maybe Leo

Only has a very select few comfort foods

Mikey

Overall, the most supportive one to be with (which is surprising to no one)

He struggles a lot more with depression than he’d be willing to admit

You know what? All of them would like to gently squish you!

He feels like he has to get out of bed in the morning; not only because of his brothers but also because he cannot sit still for very long

He WILL cook you amazing food and you will eat it!

He has a schedule for your eating so that you get more into the habit of eating

He also gets you out of bed in the morning and is much more successful about it than his brothers

He is SO soft with you

Like, relationship goals

He loves you so much

And he loves your body too, no matter what shape it comes in <3

You could be a worm and he’d love you <3

He is practically your therapist

And he’s good at it? Like really good at it?

And unlike with his brothers, he does start to communicate his inner feelings better? Like, you wouldn’t think that he would hide his feelings so much considering how open he seems but…

Once again, he loves you so so much

#rottmnt x reader #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt #tmnt 2018 #rottmnt au #rise raph #rise of the tmnt #don #raph #rise of the turtles #rise movie #rise leo #rise donnie #rise mikey #rise donatello #rise leonardo #rise raphael #x reader #gn reader #gender neutral reader

[thislovintime]

1968.

“‘Actually, I wanted to leave the group over two years ago when the first season ended, but the guys convinced me not to. I didn’t care about all the things that were happening, all the acclaim. I hated the work! It was tough, and I didn’t like it. I just wanted to record for all my life. Also, the pressure was awful. We were working in an incredibly new environment. Half of the crew on the show was young and had very little experience at that level of work. Many of them were getting their first big break. Actually, after the TV show was canceled it was easier for me to leave. Doing the TV show was the worst. Then came the movie, and I couldn’t forego the movie, so I did it. You know, there were moments here and there — lots of good, funny stuff happening throughout — but the only time that I was really happy was when we were recording the ‘Headquarters’ album. The concerts were fun, but during the concert tours you are removed from your friends except for the guys. And even when we did take a few friends along it was only a mild relief. This last tour of Australia and Japan wasn’t fun because I felt hideously under-rehearsed. I was constantly pushing for rehearsals, and they were constantly saying well, like later. We couldn’t get together. Also, we didn’t play any new music this last concert tour. It was all old tunes, nothing from our newer albums, and it was a bore. But I think they suspected I was leaving anyway. For me, a lot of the pressure was off. When I felt a part of the group every time someone said something that jarred my sensibilities, I’d raise a huge ruckus and everybody thought I was out of my mind. While we were making the TV Special, knowing I was not going to be there any longer, I just thought to myself — I don’t have to worry about this thing — and I just let everything slide off my back. They must have though something was screwy. Then I finally told them, ‘Gentlemen I’m in negotiations to resign from the group.’ And they said, ‘Okay, well, there’s not much time, we’d better get to work on this Special.’ So we taped the thing and that’s the last I saw of them. The last day of the taping they gave me this little testimonial memorial watch.’ From his pocket Peter drew out a silver, antique-looking timepiece with the back side engraved, ‘To Peter Tork, from the guys down at work.’ ‘I’m free, I don’t know what I’ll be doing. I’m actually a little apprehensive, because there’s no doubt that there are three other incredibly talented fellows out there. They’re very talented guys. Mike is one of the funniest people I’ve ever known. Micky is even funnier and Davy is just cute as a button. Who could ask for anything more? Davy dances so great, did you see him dance in the film? I’ve not seen dancing like that on the screen except from Fred Astaire. The only other thing is that I’m both really relieved and really, really apprehensive. I’m terribly glad and also terribly sad.’” - NME, January 25, 1969

“Peter and I were the bulk of the playing ability because we were musicians. But when Peter left it rather unnerved Davy and Micky — and I changed my mind [about leaving]. After all, the personal appearances were pretty well satisfying, the music was fun, and the whole thing was fairly lucrative. And Davy and Micky left alone would have been in real trouble.” - Michael Nesmith, Disc and Music Echo, September 19, 1970

"In a telephone interview this week, Tork explained why he left the group in 1968, three years after it was formed. ‘Musicians were being auditioned in an effort to create the Monkees, and the purpose was to reap money,’ he said. ‘But for our first two albums, studio musicians were hired to do the instrumentals and we just did the lead singing. I didn’t want that.’ Tork convinced the other three members, Davy Jones, [Micky] Dolenz and Mike Nesmith, to do the third album themselves. ‘But I couldn’t get the guys to go for that again, so the fourth album was half and half,’ he said. Critics had frowned on the Monkees for this. ‘Every single malcontent felt he had the right to tell me what was wrong with the situation. I took the critics to heart,’ Tork said. ‘When I talked to the guys about it, they told me if I want more I should get my own act.’ Tork describes his current relationship with Jones, Dolenz and Nesmith as ‘cordial.’ ‘I learned to put all my bitterness behind me,’ he said. ‘I hear about them through the grapevine, but we have no real call to talk to each other, although, I had a brief lunch with Davy Jones in Japan recently.’ When Tork joined the Monkees in October 1965, he was 23 years old and inexperienced in handling fame and fortune. ‘There’s a lot of things involved with money and recognition, and the price was much higher than I expected,’ he said. ‘There’s an isolating pressure that goes along with success. I couldn’t handle it.’" - article by Lisa Stenza, Connecticut Daily Campus, February 26, 1982 (read more in an older post)

#Peter Tork #Tork quotes #Davy Jones #Micky Dolenz #Michael Nesmith #The Monkees #Monkees #long read #Peter and Davy #Peter and Micky #Peter and Michael #can you queue it

[saintsenara]

always wondered how Snape never clocked that the diary/ring/Harry was a horcrux (other than the plot needed him to remain in the dark). Doesn’t add up that teen Regulus knew what it was and the 38 year old Dark Arts expert and professional double agent who has seen Voldy fail to die never worked it out

honestly, anon? same.

although i think we can work our way around this with a bit of canon-wrangling...

we can probably justify snape not clocking that harry's a horcrux during order of the phoenix, on account of the fact that he's presumably the only human horcrux in existence.

dumbledore says in half-blood prince that using animals as horcruxes is unusual because it's inadvisable, because the behaviour of a sentient horcrux can't be predicted or controlled [and it may, i suppose the implication is, therefore destroy itself, thus defeating the purpose of making it] - and snape is certainly taken aback by dumbledore asking him to keep an eye on nagini.

this could, however, be interpreted as snape being surprised that voldemort - who is highly-strung even by the standards of people who might encase their souls in inanimate objects - would have made an animal horcrux, even though he knows voldemort is able to control nagini through virtue of being a parselmouth.

connected to this, snape's understanding of the attack which harry witnesses on arthur weasley is that voldemort was mentally present in nagini when the attack took place:

“You seem to have visited the snake’s mind because that was where the Dark Lord was at that particular moment,” snarled Snape. “He was possessing the snake at the time and so you dreamed you were inside it too...”

voldemort is canonically known to be able to possess people - ginny weasley chief among them - and also, by his own admission in goblet of fire, to possess snakes. the assumption snape is making is that voldemort's control over nagini is one of the "standard" possessions the dark lord is capable of - and he must also assume, as mad-eye moody does and as the rest of the order accepts moody's account of, that harry's visions are the result of voldemort possessing or attempting to possess him.

indeed, there's an interesting sense in canon that many of the adult characters don't understand that harry's visions don't resemble what possession typically looks like - which is a genre convention which is in keeping with the overall narrative arc of the series as children's literature. the child-heroes need to be able to work everything out and the adults need to be, at best, politely disinterested - and this manifests itself throughout the seven-book canon in the fact that the child characters understand voldemort considerably better than any of the adult ones.

after all, the only person who points out that harry's experience isn't standard possession is also a child:

“Well, that was a bit stupid of you,” said Ginny angrily, “seeing as you don’t know anyone but me who’s been possessed by You-Know-Who, and I can tell you how it feels.” Harry remained quite still as the impact of these words hit him. Then he turned on the spot to face her. “I forgot,” he said.  “Lucky you,” said Ginny coolly.  “I’m sorry,” Harry said, and he meant it. “So... so do you think I’m being possessed, then?” “Well, can you remember everything you’ve been doing?” Ginny asked. “Are there big blank periods where you don’t know what you’ve been up to?” “No,” he said.  “Then You-Know-Who hasn’t ever possessed you,” said Ginny simply. “When he did it to me, I couldn’t remember what I’d been doing for hours at a time. I’d find myself somewhere and not know how I got there.”

from snape's perspective, then, the idea that nagini and harry are simply being possessed by voldemort - rather than that they're sentient horcruxes [and that harry is a unique type of sentient horcrux, and that voldemort could have been stupid enough to intentionally make his child-enemy who hates him into a receptacle for his soul] - is the result of him applying the principle of occam's razor: that the simplest explanation is usually the correct one.

snape does, however, acknowledge that harry and voldemort's mental connection is unusual:

“The Dark Lord is at a considerable distance and the walls and grounds of Hogwarts are guarded by many ancient spells and charms to ensure the bodily and mental safety of those who dwell within them,” said Snape. “Time and space matter in magic, Potter. Eye contact is often essential to Legilimency.” “Well then, why do I have to learn Occlumency?” Snape eyed Harry, tracing his mouth with one long, thin finger as he did so. “The usual rules do not seem to apply with you, Potter. The curse that failed to kill you seems to have forged some kind of connection between you and the Dark Lord. The evidence suggests that at times, when your mind is most relaxed and vulnerable - when you are asleep, for instance - you are sharing the Dark Lord’s thoughts and emotions. The headmaster thinks it inadvisable for this to continue. He wishes me to teach you how to close your mind to the Dark Lord.”

obviously, we know that the connection forged between harry and voldemort is that harry's a horcrux. but it's also the case that harry doesn't have the ability to see into voldemort's mind before voldemort is corporeal again. if we assume that dumbledore keeps harry's visions from the earlier parts of goblet of fire secret from snape - and there's no reason why this wouldn't be the case - then snape's understanding of the mental connection between harry and voldemort is presumably that it was caused by voldemort using harry's blood to resurrect himself.

after all, snape must know about the blood protection established by lily's death, since not only the full order [moody mentions it in deathly hallows] but the death eaters also know about it. he will also know that voldemort used harry's blood for the ritual because voldemort did this in order to show off - he's proud of the symbolism, and you can tell he was dining out on it right up until it spectacularly backfired...

the question then becomes whether snape truly deeps what dumbledore's saying when he tells him - during the half-blood prince timeline, but not revealed to us until the end of deathly hallows - that:

“On the night Lord Voldemort tried to kill him, when Lily cast her own life between them as a shield, the Killing Curse rebounded upon Lord Voldemort, and a fragment of Voldemort’s soul was blasted apart from the whole, and latched itself onto the only living soul left in that collapsing building. Part of Lord Voldemort lives inside Harry, and it is that which gives him the power of speech with snakes, and a connection with Lord Voldemort’s mind that he has never understood. And while that fragment of soul, unmissed by Voldemort, remains attached to and protected by Harry, Lord Voldemort cannot die.”

snape realises, without dumbledore prompting him further, that this means harry has to die. which means, i think, that we can justifiably suggest that snape has twigged that harry needs to die because - in order for a horcrux to be destroyed - the container needs to be damaged beyond all repair...

and - let's be frank - his little argument with dumbledore after this revelation makes perfect sense if he knows that dumbledore is speaking about harry as a horcrux:

“I have spied for you and lied for you, put myself in mortal danger for you. Everything was supposed to be to keep Lily Potter’s son safe. Now you tell me you have been raising him like a pig for slaughter - ”

snape's beef is that dumbledore secured his cooperation as a spy on the pretence that he could atone for his role in lily's death by protecting harry from voldemort, while dumbledore knew all along that this was never going to happen [snape does not, of course, know that dumbledore reckons harry will be able to return]. clearly, he would have preferred dumbledore to have just smothered harry as a baby, destroyed the horcrux, and saved them all the agony.

and so i think that it's canonically impossible that snape doesn't understand - eventually - that harry's a horcrux.

and i also think that it's canonically impossible that snape doesn't clock the others well before this.

after all, voldemort states in goblet of fire that the reason he's so pissed off by the death eaters who pretended to have renounced him after 1981 is because they knew he couldn't die:

“I was ripped from my body, I was less than spirit, less than the meanest ghost... but still, I was alive. What I was, even I do not know... I, who have gone further than anybody along the path that leads to immortality. You know my goal - to conquer death. And now, I was tested, and it appeared that one or more of my experiments had worked... for I had not been killed, though the curse should have done it. Nevertheless, I was as powerless as the weakest creature alive, and without the means to help myself... for I had no body, and every spell that might have helped me required the use of a wand... “I remember only forcing myself, sleeplessly, endlessly, second by second, to exist... I settled in a faraway place, in a forest, and I waited... Surely, one of my faithful Death Eaters would try and find me... one of them would come and perform the magic I could not, to restore me to a body... but I waited in vain...”

[he is hamming it up so much here. the man understands camp.]

what he means by this - clearly - is that the fact that he'd made at least one horcrux was common knowledge among his minions, which provides the explanation for why regulus knew what was going on [which i've gone into more detail about here].

which makes sense - voldemort actually tells us in canon that his safeguards aren't that nobody knows he created the horcruxes [and also, if that's what he'd been going for, he'd almost certainly have killed slughorn.]

the section is too long to quote, but if you look at the bit in chapter twenty-seven of deathly hallows when he's panicking that harry and dumbledore have figured out his secrets, the thing he's afraid of isn't that they know he's made horcruxes, but that they've worked out what the objects are and where they might be hidden, something he was certain nobody other than himself would ever be able to discover.

the ring - for example - could only be located by someone who knew voldemort's full birth name, who knew that the name "marvolo" was associated with the gaunts, and who knew where the gaunts had once lived.

the locket - as voldemort understands it, since he assumes kreacher is drowned by the inferi - could only be located by someone who knew that voldemort had, as a child, been taken on an outing to the coast and had lured two children into a cave to torture them.

the diadem could only be located by someone who knew that it wasn't actually lost, knew that helena ravenclaw could be manipulated into revealing where it was, and knew how to open the room of requirement - which voldemort canonically believes is impossible for anyone other than him [even though this makes absolutely no sense to me - there's furniture everywhere, babe?].

the cup could only be located by someone who managed to bypass gringotts' famously tight security, gain access to the lestranges' vault, pick out the cup from among all the other objects stored within [which would also require them to know that a shop-boy called tom riddle stole it from a woman called hepzibah smith] and then not get crushed to death by a rising tide of molten metal.

the diary is much less closely guarded - although voldemort evidently believes that lucius malfoy can be trusted to keep it safe until he tells him otherwise. but this - as dumbledore tells us in half-blood prince - is because voldemort wants it to be used, so that the chamber of secrets can be reopened, and that he's therefore prepared to take the risk of it being destroyed because he believes that his other horcruxes are so secure that the loss of the diary won't matter. this is also, i suspect, his view of nagini - which is why him moving to protect her is taken by both dumbledore and harry as the signal that no other horcruxes remain.

snape must know, then, that voldemort has made horcruxes, because voldemort must, however obliquely, have told him so.

and he must figure out that the diary and the ring are horcruxes specifically. he's clearly the source of dumbledore's information that voldemort's fury when he discovered the diary had been destroyed was "terrible to behold".

and he must be the person who prompts phineas nigellus black to drop the info that dumbledore used the sword of gryffindor to break open the ring. harry and hermione assume this is something black lets slip without knowing its significance, but we know from the prince's tale that he visits them at snape's request in order to find out how the horcrux hunt is going.

[on the sword of gryffindor, snape's statement - "and you won't tell me why it's so important to give potter the sword?" - has to be taken as asking why the sword is so crucial to the destruction of a horcrux that he's being forced to go to great personal risk to give it to harry in order for this overall argument to work... but i think this reading is plausible - not least because voldemort knows that harry was left the sword in dumbledore's will, since wizarding wills are examined by the ministry, and could undoubtedly find out very easily if he wanted to that the sword snape places in the lestranges' vault is a fake.]

the reason that snape doesn't participate in the horcrux hunt in any more specific way relates to the point about genre conventions and child-heroes made above.

the reason that the horcrux hunt takes the form it takes isn't because horcruxes themselves are magic so arcane and unknowable that only the trio, dumbledore, and voldemort are aware they exist. it's because harry - even more than dumbledore - is the only person who knows voldemort well enough to figure out what the horcruxes are made from and where they are.

[this is why i don't vibe with stories which assume the hunt goes quicker if snape - or sirius or anyone - helps the trio. the point is that nobody but harry could figure out that voldemort would be seething about not having a vault at gringotts, or that he would have hidden the diadem the night of his failed job interview.]

snape appears to know the adult voldemort reasonably well, but there's no evidence at all that he knows anything about his life prior to c.1970 - either from dumbledore or from voldemort himself. this means that he would be absolutely no help when it came to guessing what the horcruxes were - the diary, ring, cup, diadem, and locket all presuppose the knowledge that voldemort was once called tom riddle, after all.

which makes him useless to harry when it comes to hunting them down. by the time dumbledore dies, harry knows with near-absolute certainty what five of the horcruxes are: the diary, ring, cup, locket, and snake. he knows for a fact that two of these have been destroyed, he and dumbledore believe they've just got their hands on a third, and he knows where a fourth is [nagini, next to voldemort]. the location of the cup - and the form and location of the sixth horcrux, the diadem - is something only harry has the ability to work out. the seventh - harry himself - is information dumbledore has ordered snape to keep hidden until the appointed time.

meaning that snape clearly does know what a horcrux is - both in theory and when four [diary, ring, nagini, harry] of voldemort's own are put in front of him - but that this knowledge is sufficiently incomplete as to be irrelevant to the quest harry's engaged in which takes up the narrative's time.

#asks answered #asenora meta #severus snape #horcrux nonsense for fun and profit