#there’s still more to do:

[longlivetv]

Today I created my own holiday called “handle your shit saturday” in which I had to actually deal with all the shit piling up in my house and actually do the projects I’d been planning and it was so satisfying and made me feel SO much better. If you’re struggling rn, I highly recommend, even if you just handle a small chunk of your shit, giving it a name made it feel all official and whatnot and somehow let me trick myself into doing things I’ve been putting off since November.

#I re-sealed around the basement window where I think ants were getting in last summer #I filed my taxes #I put away the candles in the windows from Christmas (all the other Christmas shit got put away a while ago) #I put away all the snowman decor #there’s still more to do: #I need to pay my water bill #i need to scan the QR code that came with the water bill to see if I have to test something about my pipes #I need to re-seal around the kitchen counters and also the kitchen window #(the other likely entry point for the ants) #I need to replace the picture frame I broke mopping last weekend (don’t ask I don’t know how I did it either) #but getting rid of the piles of paper for my taxes for example feels so good

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail'' #ah tumblr... #writeblr #warm up #idk . having trouble writing rn #ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum #i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for #i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" ..... #no.... not really..... #idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography #like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days #furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing... #this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey. #idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me. #i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will #actually ever happen #ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum

[astearisms]

catalysts, protectors

#man those episodes #so many things put into perspective #like Simon’s role as a protector and his kindness and empathy and compassion and existence being the catalyst for the rest of ooo to #flourish #and Betty is a protector of Simon #I wonder if the last two episodes will explore more of her character? there’s so much to be explored about her giving so much of herself #to Simon but not thinking about what she wants for herself #do we get to explore her feelings or see her at all? will she have changed or learned to let go #I think there will be some sort of closure for the both of them #but at what cost #I am still crying over that scene with Simon’s memory of Betty and their song #my art #fionna and cake #fionna and cake spoilers #simon petrikov #betty grof #petrigrof #golbetty

[mamawasatesttube]

BTW... PSA.... even if we arent mutuals if youre in my notes regularly theres a Very high chance i am still fond of you. yes im vaguing someones tags on the compliment the person u rbed this from post. but like. positive vaguing? THE POINT IS im weird abt following ppl but IM STILL SENDING U FOND VIBES...

#i have to acclimate myself into following people. first i have to spend a few days to weeks checking someones blog manually #and i cant follow too many new people in the same burst or else theres TOO MUCH new unfamiliarity on my dash #and i become a small and easily frightened beast alarmed by change #also im just....................... incredibly picky kjhsdkjjkdsj sometimes ppl i generally am :)! towards do occasionally rb #from someone who i want to throw bricks at. and then i cant follow them but im still :)! when i see them in notifs #and sometimes its just that im going AAAA!!! AAAA!!! and cant put more new things on my dash #or in some cases its someone im fond of seeing/chatting w whenever we have talked BUT they simply are also into stuff im not rly into #and i dont want it on my dash despite liking them as a person. etc. you know how it is #ALL OF WHICH TO SAY................... :)! #rimi talks

[catmask]

does anyone have like an anti aesthetic. like something you look at and can recognize as a complete fashion/interior design/artistic movement and understand it but it makes you shudder seeing it. i am not talking like “its morally bad” “its poorly structured” like just sheerly devoid of joy for you actually invites a repulse response.

#also if it wasnt clear this isnt ‘its bad its lazy’ there is a level of like #completion consistancy i am thinking for with this #personally i really do not enjoy the like. vintage chic long red nails fur coats noir esque aesthetic HOWEVER 💥💥💥 #i can recognize that it is put together it is Intentional #i feel like a lot of people are going to say minimalism on this so LET ME SAY 🫰☝️ i recognize that minimalism is Considered an aesthetic #but i *PERSONALLY* do not consider it an aesthetic i consider it the void of one #it is a lapse in aesthetic or personality in the same way a silence in a song is still technically a ‘beat’ but no music is played #however the importance of Space or Breath in design is more akin to a purposeful silence in music #because that silence matters in the same way rhythm and breath in design do #so i guess minimalism is more comparable to like. white noise. the sound of a fan #very little effort and there is a comfort in it i suppose but its not. A Design. okay #TO ME 🤫 #if minimalism has one hater its me if minimalism has no haters im dead

[sergle]

the threshold has been crossed, it is now springtime!!

#sergle art #artists on tumblr #illustration #body posi #fat art #body positive #stretch marks #heey it's chboy. skinny penits. i haven't killed myself i SWEAR. i'm still in my cave and i still draw #i hope you like the pieces because i really liked doing the more stylized flowers on the first two #like that actually gave me so much enjoyment doing the flowers that way on miss blue hair

[july-19th-club]

seriously have been thinking about this all night long. call me autistic but the fact that 90% of workplaces the point is not to get your work done and then be done doing it but to instead perform an elaborate social dance in which you find something to do even when you're done doing everything you need to do in order to show your fellow workers that you, too, are Working . because you are at Work . disgusting why cant we all agree that if there is no work immediately to be done. we just dont do anything

#i personally like to not be doing things constantly at all times. it stresses me out #i know there are ppl who thrive on cosntant activity #but me i like to chill out. #and the problem then becomes that i only ACTIVELY remember to do work and Find More Work To Do when im stressed #at the thought that others might want to see me working #if im ever relaxed i just dont look for stuff to do #catch 22 of modern work culture which permeates even ostensibly noncapitalist structures like public libraries #for instance: will it really kill anybody if the books get shelved by me now after a very busy day? #or shelved tomorrow morning by. well probably me since i'll be the one at the desk #not in the slightest #but it was work that wasnt being immediately done by me. therefore it was incorrect behavior #that i failed to identify because my instinct is to relax when not immediately presented with a Situation #this got me labeled as 'having no initiative' by my dad from a very early age #and even as an adult i still feel like im a child with no initiative

[cordspaghetti]

got thinking about gerard way tour outfit predictions that never came 2 be… bloody wedding dress…

#they’ve got legs and a slit throat! #this is one i believed 2 be totally out of the question bc it would be too bulky restrictive etc #but then i was doing my research and i discovered The 60s Wedding Mini Dress and i was like oh my god she would #kind of a mod vibe but w more gothic detail so it still reads as bridal out of context yk yk. perhaps #mcr #gerard way #digital art #x

[stuckinapril]

with motaz evacuating to qatar, and the global strike concluding in a few days, some people might take this as a sign to stop donating, spreading awareness about palestine, or just staying informed altogether. please don't do that. please keep talking about it and sharing credible ways to fund humanitarian aid in palestine. it's not over until an official ceasefire is declared, and even then it'll be a long way to earn palestine its statehood. never allow the atrocities committed in palestine to fade out of memory.

#this isnt a thing you do For The Week and then just stop. the genocide is still going full swing #donations are needed now more than ever #palestine #gaza #israel

[bunneis]

21/05/23 edit: heres the full gifset

#shigeru miyamoto approved this :V #okay so now i gotta do a bowigi gifset once the movie comes out #what else... #1. peach gifset cause shes the cutest #2. game-movie comparisons still hoping we get a paper mario shoutout #3. mario and luigi being brothers in movie and other games #4. and now bowuigi apparently jdhkfhsjhk #s.og #s.gif #c #m #smb #mario movie #the super mario bros movie #nintendo #bowser #luigi #bowuigi #nintendoedit #edit: this is getting way much more attention that anticipated jdsfdshfdks #i just went back to the trailer and i missed the shy guys doing the head tilt thing #if this passes 5k and reblogging that addition #second edit: 50k notes later.... insane :v #anyways i linked the full-ish gifset #tumblr staff please increase the max gif size to 15mb. just do that delete tumblr live and do that please

[astrhae]

crowley used the metal tool in season 1 to start time, and we learn that he's used it first to start space. to create the stars -- he still remembers how. he still remembers all of heaven's passwords: in the book crowley is described as an optimist because he has the "utter surety... that the universe would look after him". not god, but the universe. and of course he does: he helped create it and he's looking after it, too.

think about it: aziraphale had a sword, but crowley is about to face satan who wants to destroy the world, and crowley's only weapon is a tool of creation

#more importantly it's always been noted that his imagination #is why he stands out from the other demons #it was his imaginative questions that kicked him out of heaven #but it was also his imagination that was always his weapon #and his saving grace that got him out of scrapes #that kept his bentley together #and i just. crowley and creation akkdssdkf #he also still has a goddamn book about stars #do you understand #he didn't just keep the metal tool #he also keeps with him a book #about all the nebulae #he created #my edits #i'm still not okay #once again neil gaiman was insane for this #good omens #good omens 2 #good omens spoilers #good omens 2 spoilers #goodomensedit #tw: flashing gif #good omens meta #tw: flashing lights #tw: eyestrain

[smittyw]

had a category 5 lesbian moment looping midwest princess for the past couple hours so i drew some stills from this vid

#chappell roan #fanart #the rise and fall of a midwest princess #my kink is karma #eyestrain #illustration #live performances make me insane even if im not seeing them in person i still go insane #augh. anyways. hiii i got really into her recently by chance.. #i should make a habit of just doing this more often for artists i like #id in alt text

[layzeal]

ok I'm curious so put in the tags what country you are from and whether or not you own/use a rice cooker

#i'm brazilian and yes!! #tho only now bc my roommate brought hers #back at my parents house we still ate rice everyday but NO RICE COOKER #now that i now the wonder of rice cooker i made them buy one #you just can't go back to the darkness of babysitting rice on the stovetop #edit: almost wanna add a ''and how much do they cost'' cause they're crazy cheap here #and i kinda assumed they'd be everywhere else #but in countries that don't eat a lot of rice i can see them being more expensive

[uncanny-tranny]

The leftism/anticapitalism leaving people's bodies the zeptosecond you imply that disabled people who aren't "productive" still matter in society and need to be treated like intrinsic equals who have a place in this world:

#disability #disability advocacy #described images #image description in alt #ableism #ableism tw #my full-time job is my disability and you're lucky that i am still 'productive' as-is #your boss doesn't care that you think you're superior for being hired by them. they're still going to treat you like profit machines #it astounds me how people will capitulate for oppression because they place their intrinsic value in their ability to be at the top... #...or at least 'at the top' compared to others. it's the same impulse that makes people think their cisgender status makes them superior... #...you are placing your worth into systems which not only oppress others but offer you no true sense of worth... #...ESPECIALLY if you're also being exploited (even if just a bit)... #...you have a job sure but... do you actually get treated like a human being? are you actually paid? are you actually safe?... #...if the answer to any of those questions and more is 'no' then why do you place your value in capitalistic production. genuinely. #and why would you DEMAND disabled people to have the same exploitation you experience. why do you DEMAND productivity if you are proletaria #yes being a leftist and anticapitalist are linked but. some people still internalize capitalism without questioning it #being a leftist is about challenging that rather than assuming you're correct i think #also scientists were very silly when describing time that's like. less than a millisecond i think

[jagalart]

Yarrow and Feverfew

Art trade with the incredible @liscepu, I'm so grateful for the chance! Thank you for fueling my love for the game again <3

#arthur morgan #red dead redemption #rdr2 #rdr fanart #flowers #portrait #illustration #Also #since gathering and crafting from plants is one of my fav things in open world games I've been really enjoying drawing game characters with #like I've done with Geralt or Pathologic before - I will be definitely doing that more in the future! <3 #This also reminded me I still need to return to platinum-ing RDR2... #...These damn 70 golden medals tho #I have no idea how I'll do it 💀

[tofixtheshadows]

Sorry but Kabru is so fascinating to me as a character, in a pure mechanical sense, because of what Ryoko Kui does with him. Everything about him is a red herring. He's deliberately introduced as some kind of rival for Laios, a party leader who is hopeless against monsters but absolutely brilliant with people both in and out of combat, and who has good reason to oppose him.

By the end of chapter 31, you might even think Kabru's going to end up as some sort of anti-villain, an antagonist with the best of intentions who nevertheless tries to foil our hero's plans. He wants to defeat the Mad Mage himself, he suspects Laios of being too irresponsible to be trusted with control of the dungeon, and his crew even thinks that Laios's party stole from them (and they're kind of right!). All signs point towards an inevitable showdown.

And then ... none of that happens.

Confrontation over the stolen treasure? Kabru is literally too smart to fall for the classic miscommunication trope and correctly decides it's not worth making a big deal of.

Kabru's deadly PVP skills? Aside from trying to take down Falin, he never fights another human again.

Wanting to be the one who defeats the dungeon? Turns out he was only doing that because he didn't think any other adventurer would have people's best interests at heart, and he's more than willing to play a support role in the whole affair.

Thinking Laios is up to no good? He really did just want to get to know the guy more. He has his misgivings, but ultimately ends up trusting Laios with his life.

Is Kabru going to get some sort of comeuppance for hating monsters and not appreciating their ecosystem? Well no, he has good reasons for hating monsters. He ends up wanting to learn about them through Laios's eyes, but he's never forced into any "Wow, guess I was wrong about them!" revelation.

Hell, even his implied ladykiller ways, which might lead you to think he'll end up being the stock "chivalrous lech" type of character, don't really manifest. He has a lot of opportunities to act flirtatiously around women, but doesn't. He's just a guy whose natural charisma makes him into human catnip.

And that's all hysterical to me, to pull it off. It's a fascinating way to tell a story. To introduce a character explicitly as a rival, potentially even a villain, and instead make them a deuteragonist. It's like a magician making a coin disappear, then slowing down their trick to show you the misdirection. "Did you see what I did there?" they ask with a wink. "The coin was in my other hand the entire time."

#Dungeon Meshi #Kabru #Dungeon Meshi spoilers #I will say that for the people who come out of the manga still thinking that Kabru hates Laios or that he's a bad guy in any way: #you were so busy staring at the hand where the coin disappeared that you ignored the magician explaining the trick #and yes I do think that Kabru and Marcille are the deuteragonists to Laios's protagonist #we see more of Kabru's interiority than anyone else. if you don't think he's a main character? idk. see me after class. #musings with Dea