#they were so trans for this (everything)

[lazylittledragon]

what do you mean youre technically a detransitioner cause of terf bullshit?

it's a v long story but i detransitioned for a couple of years when i was 16/17, for multiple reasons but mostly because i fell into the blaire white/kalvin garrah chamber of "you have to be This way to be trans otherwise you're not real".

i was already Deeply insecure about myself and my 'passing' and i was led to believe that i couldn't want to wear makeup or skirts, and i couldn't choose not to have bottom surgery, and i couldn't do anything but bind for 12+ hours a day to the point that my ribcage is still misshapen. basically i thought that if i wasn't suffering enough doing 'feminine' things, i couldn't really be trans, so i should just go back to being a girl and suck it up.

the terf bullshit is because i'd seen a lot of terfs/detransitioners talking about the 'dangers' of testosterone and how it would turn me into a horrible ugly evil monster and how there was nothing worse than wanting to be a man. which combined with 'you need to fully medically transition to be valid at all' creates some very dangerous and upsetting feelings to cope with.

it also came from trying really hard to put myself in a little box before i realised that my sexuality/gender are very fluid and it's FINE for me not to have a label and just do whatever i want. when i was 19 or so i went back to using they/them (and eventually he/him) and changed my name again because even though i like doing 'feminine' things, i don't want to be seen as a woman.

tldr: i was conditioned by transphobic/terf rhetorics to think that i was being trans the 'wrong' way so i couldn't be trans at all, so i believed i must actually be a girl if i still wanted to do 'feminine' things. nowadays i am a transmasc who does feminine things because i don't give two shits about what any transmed prick thinks of me anymore.

#ramble #ok to reblog btw i'm fine with this being shared #this was meant to be a short version but this is just the whole story whoops #sorry i realised the way i phrased it sounded like i'm the detrans you see in the news #i'm Technically a detransitioner because a lot of detrans stats are people who go on to RETRANSITION #because detransition is often because of social stigma and not because you realised you weren't trans #so anyway. terfs are cancer and if you don't think their bs is harming children you're wrong #i know it's easy to say 'you should've used your brain and realised those people were wrong' #but like. when you're 16 you're SO impressionable. even if you think you aren't #especially when you're watching people who have been transitioning longer than you and you assume they know everything #i was in my mid-late teens when 'transtrender' videos were MASSIVE and i believed it!!! and i was Not nice about those people #all they made me believe was that being trans couldn't be colourful and comfy and fun. it just had to be Pain #i hope everyone who contributed to the 'you need to be this way to be trans' mindset knows how much hurt they've caused #nowadays i don't care. go and be stargender. we have actual problems to deal with not debates about neopronouns #anyway this was long. that's the story

[watermelinoe]

i think it's kind of offensive to try to make holocaust denial about trans people but idk

#when you say holocaust denial people think antisemitic conspiracy theory #so it just seems... hm.... disingenuous to use that specific phrase? #i do think jkr's tweet was kind of unclear #but it was not ''the holocaust is a jewish conspiracy it was all faked they control everything'' #contesting the idea that trans people should be centered in holocaust discussions is not the same thing at all #that wording just grosses me out bc it feels intentional. they know what holocaust denial actually is and they know they can piggyback #off of the enduring suffering of people who were the primary targets of the holocaust #and they know no one is gonna bother to even read what jkr's little tweet said in the first place #isn't it obvious they just want to be able to call themselves holocaust victims

[uncanny-tranny]

At this point, gender nonconformity is about what the person says their experience is.

If a woman with a beard or a man with lipstick and a mustache says they're gender nonconforming, then they are! If a woman with short hair or a man with long hair says they aren't, they aren't! And that's not even getting into the awesome nonbinary, abinary, genderqueer, intersex, and general genderfuckery that may both be and not be conforming.

So much of what is even considered gender conforming or gender nonconforming is based on a world of exclusion. When we start defining one's conformity with whether they fit into white cishetero perisex standards or not, we play into the idea that there's only a very narrow window of what is considered worthy of time and thought.

#gender nonconformity #gnc #queer #like. for instance a native man who keeps long hair might be considered GNC by white standards but for him it's absolutely not nonconformit #there's an aspect of white supremacy that silences everything else while saying that other culture's silence is indicative of whiteness... #...being 'correct' or 'moral' or 'neutral' #and as somebody who's trans and last i checked white i have my own thoughts from my own experiences #like how i don't consider myself to really be a GNC man. i'm just. man+ #i'm a weird concoction of weird soup that tastes like a man but if it were Wrong #and i just don't see that as not conforming to manhood like it is seperate. i see it as irrevocably linked TO manhood #it is others who have excluded and exiled me from manhood because of *their* understanding of me and how i 'fit in' in cissexism #while i will never ever say i know what it's like to not be white i will say these conversations that PoC have started have been INVALUABLE #i am forever grateful to have been extended the patience and faith to listen in on the experiences of people... #...who are racialized in terms of gender and how they do/don't 'fit in' with often white supremacist views on gender/dynamics #may have made a post like this years back but. eh. arrest me officer i will not back down #i've been more and more 'gnc' as i go into my transition and i don't see it as nonconformity but as an outlet for my masculinity #which is why i'm not insecure about my crafts and creations. because it is coming from a male whether or not it's considered 'manly' #i have little to *no place* in cissexist society so why should i put any stakes into if they ~accept~ me #made this post while jamming out to skyrim's tavern OST (paused my game to write this) #why the HELL does the skyrim tavern music have to go SO HARD. i NEED to slam down BARRELS of mead while listening to this istg #i don't even LIKE honey so i haven't tried mead but. for skyrim i would.

[anendoandfriendo]

You've seen "excluding neurodivergent people is ableist" and now understand "neurodivergency is disability" but now get ready for for this one:

Neurodivergency can be disability but not every single neurodivergency is, actually. Yes, even those who technically could qualify for a diagnosis under the DSM or ICD may consider their neurtype to be beneficial to them, actually. And some neurotypes can be adjacent to the DSM and ICD without actually falling into them!

Neurodivergency can be disabled but in the way all squares are rectangles but not all rectangles are squares.

The people seeing themselves as more abled for a neurotype that's disabling to you are not your enemies.

Break free of your chains, stop letting the DSM and ICD, the biggest perpetrators of ableism, define us and our communities.

#we're veey much thinking about endogenic systems here. but we're also thinking about left-handed people. #and we're thinking about how “autism is my superpower!” has been used to dismiss people who are disabled by their autism but how #there IS a potential to like. not “reclaim” that as that's not the connotation we're looking for. #there are many ideas that would make sense if they were more inclusive but have been absolutely ruined by aspie supremacists because #bigots ruin EVERYTHING and we need to stop letting them rule over us. #you get what we mean? #that whole saying where the difference between a psychotic and a psychic is like how much they're drowning so to speak. #do you understand? but do you TRULY understand? #trans people used to be pathologized under the DSM too. <3 #“that's not the same” well actually we would like to propose a solution: it is the same actually.

[0l-unreliable]

I'm too excited about them to finish before I post them, Janey is coming but for now, here's the geek squad before the disease

(the betas)

#homestuck #jake english #roxy lalonde #dirk strider #alpha kids #to be deleted/edited later #i love this au because i can bullshit shoes and outfits #where the betas were more NGE the alphas are Alien #dirk and roxy are ALWAYS and FOREVER trans in everything i do btw #yea i work on like three things at once so what #tbh i might redo the betas #it a little to obvious i favor the alphas

[plantboiart]

My autism superpower is being able to connect every single song i listen to to just roll with it blood in the bayou with minimal effort

#song about tragic or doomed love? wow thats just like nightmare blunt rotation / kian and becky coded fr #song about any mental illness ever? there should definitely be an animatic of one of the pcs to this song #song that highly makes you question if the writer of the lyrics might be trans? kian stone. of course thats him #song about just like happy things everything is great? wow i wish that were them. would have loved for them to be happy #song about gay sex? easy nightmare blunt rotation again god im good at this #song about who the fuck knows what these lyrics are nonsense? [character] would have loved this song im so right #that is all the types of song i know thank you for coming to my ted talk #rip kian stone you would have loved born a girl by manic street preachers #just roll with it #jrwi #jrwi show #jrwi bitb #jrwi blood in the bayou #blood in the bayou #kian stone #rolan deep #timothy rand #autism

[pansyfemme]

thinking about an ask i got when i was 14 that has stuck with me forever because it was like. accusing me of lying about having bi4bi parents. why would that be anything even remotely interesting enough to lie about

#its cool and it made me rlly open to queerness at an early age bc even tho i didn't know my parents were bi- #anyone old enough to understand that they had lives before they got married and had kids would be able to read them pretty easily. #they had a lot of queer and trans friends too so i grew up knowing about everything #i was just a kid and didn't rlly.. think about the fact my parents had had other partners before eachother much and it never really totally #came up what the genders of those partners were. it wasn't a secret it just never rlly came up #my parents are now both of the mindset of the fact that they both still identify as bi but they don't feel the need to bring it up a lot #because theyve been married for 23 years. its not all that important anymore in their day to day lives

[littlemsterious]

I forgot to post this like a month ago when i actually saw spiderverse, so whoops. (ID under the break)

[image ID: the doofesmirtz nickel meme and it says “if i had a nickel for every time i saw a movie that used the multiverse to explore how the younger generation copes with suffering differently from the previous generation and specifically looks at how that affects POC and people who are othered from those closest to them, while using the complexity of parent-kid relationships to emphasise the otherness and has a character with a motif surrounding black holes and bagels and was also one of the most phenomenal pieces of media i’ve ever witnessed, I’d have two nickels, which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happened twice.” end image ID]

#spider man: across the spider verse #spider man #spiderverse #i saw a guy on instagram talk about how he resonated a lot with miles in regards to his expierence as a black autistic person #my fellow trans friend and i were also talking about how much the movie respnated with us as trans people #so ‘othered’ is technically referring to queer or ND but really it works for anything #where’s that clip about spiderman inherently being about otherness #miles morales #gwen stacy #everything everywhere all at once #evelyn wang #waymond wang #waymond eeaao #transgender #actually autistic #i could talk abouy the themes of suffering and trauma between generations and how these movies show that forever #it’s so good

[hopefullystillliving]

You ever get lulled into a false sense of security during the first two thirds of a kid's movie that's good with a serious plot but mostly a pretty fun time, only to have the entire final third tear your heart out, chew it up and spit it out, crush it into even finer paste beneath its heel, and add the fine powder your ribs have been turned into by the sledgehammer it whammed you with as a seasoning?

Anyway Nimona was great, 10/10 would recommend, I was crying on and off for what probably totaled 20 minutes of tears.

#hopeful rambling #nimona #cw graphic #i think that's probably the right tag for that description #anyway yes im a little late to the train but i was waiting until i could watch it with my dearest #my takeaway is that they should put a content warning on it for trans people especially bc you will feel punched in the face #that allegory sure can trans. #i think i related to it in a different way than most people #bc being genderqueer yeah nimona going im not a girl im just myself hit home but im not *trans* #so i think i actually ended up projecting onto balistar as someone who deeply loves a trans person (different ways obviously) #being told 'yes you can rejoin the society you betrayed you aren't like *her* you arent a monster everything can go back to what it was #you can be one of the good guys if you reject the freaks' #but they betrayed you first and the good guys aren't good and how things were is worse actually than saying i love you i see you im with you #to the freaks and the monsters who will accept who you are unlike the society that never will always keeping you to an impossible standard #of never being yourself #so yeah the religious/societal prejudice trauma was very felt at some points #and i grieved for nimona not because she was me but because she was my dearest and she was a friend #and she was a thousand people i will never know who decided it was better to die as yourself than be killed as someone you aren't #and didn't have a person to say im sorry. i see you. #anyway. yeah im still crying. altered my brain chemistry is mild i think it rearranged my organs punched a hole in my chest and i thanked it #nimona spoilers

[peridammit]

Ok so spoilers for the invincible atom eve special

love how her whole storyline is about how she's weird and not normal and then they make her the NORMALEST girl possible, like how do they make her THAT autistic as a child and then have her?? grow? out of it??? how do you fumble a neurodivergency allegory that hard??

#and dont even get me STARTED on the trans coding #im frustrated #like the girl who grew up staring at the ground and trees cause they were so fascinating to her complains the other smart kids... #...are boring cause they dont do anything fun???? #girl MEMORIZED the atomic structures of everything and loved it but then is like oh they all wanna be engineers and shit how lame #SHE DOESNT EVEN HAVE A FUCKED UP RELATIONSHIP WITH THE COLOR PINK #you can tell the wrote a weird girl storyline without any weird girls on the team #anyway... #invincible #atom eve #mine

[quantumshade]

#i mean he would have done it bad anyway. so maybe it's a good thing he didn't even try. #they have the doctor (played by a cisgender woman) say ''i used to be a bloke'' like three times and that's IT. #AND it's played as a joke! #like. with everything chibnall said about trying to be inclusive and have ''lgbt representation across the spectrum'' (interview from 2018) #there really weren't any trans people in there huh #doctor who #chibnall critical #thirteenth doctor #delia.txt #once again me saying this is not saying rtd1 or moffat eras were better etc etc. hate that i have to disclaim that every single time.

[eggy-tea]

For a movie featuring basically zero explicitly queer characters, Across the Spider-Verse was pretty fucking queer.

#see: trans (allegory?) gwen stacy #see: coming out to your parents and not knowing if they’ll still love you afterwards #having a major part of your identity be something you need to hide #thinking you’re a lone freak and then finding out that there are actually SO MANY other people like you #and then realizing that just because you’re part of the same community it doesn’t mean you automatically see eye-to-eye on everything #coming out to your parents and they’re not ready for it and they don’t react the way you’d hope #community elders taking you in because they’ve been there #community elders channeling their trauma into trying to keep the kids safe #community elders perpetuating trauma because they can’t not when trauma responses are what’s kept them alive #and like. a bunch of this is common to a lot of different marginalized communities #and a bunch more is common to growing up and becoming your own person #which is why it’s been at the center of a lot of superhero stuff since superhero stuff has been a thing #and why superhero stuff can resonate with a wide variety of people from different backgrounds #but also: Choices Were Made #spider man: across the spider verse spoilers #spiderman atsv spoilers #<- very mild and in the tags but still. better safe etc. #anyway a+ movie can’t wait to watch it again

[pouetpouetduckbaudelaire]

Pop punk is THE babytrans guy music genre. I've been relistening to my favourite bands that I basically worshipped when I was 13-14 and like ...that's so me !

Yeah I feel like a loser ! Yeah I just want to stay in my room forever and listen to music too loud ! Yeah I hate my parents ! Yeah I feel like nobody understands me ! Yeah I'm scared I'm gonna be stuck in a town that sucks forever ! Yeah I get a crush on every girl I meet !

It really hits all the sucker feelings, so good to embrace the moody idiot inside.

#trans #transtrucs #pop punk #green day #the all american rejects #sum 31 #blink 182 #american hi-fi #+44 #jimmy eat world #good charlotte #simple plan #the offspring #box car racer #angels and airwaves #bowling for soup #i really didn't understand english at the time and now i'm just rediscovering everything #not gonna lie it's pretty much about what i thought they were saying no surprises here #but still it feels so good to just scream the lyrics at the top of my lungs #the voice cracks really add to it #transgender #t4t #baby trans

[i-may-be-an-emu]

Gender Envy

#it's just been one of those days yk #tw gender dysphoria #ftm #ftm dysphoria #ftm gender envy #pretty much everything found on pintrest or reddit #apart from the trans flag #found that on wiki lol #transgender #trans #these are just things that give me gender envy #they aren't inherintly “guy things” #I just feel like for me I could do them if i were cis #and i probably will do them #but hey #i guess i'll have to just wait and see #eyestrain cw #I want to look like this so bad

[redpandarambles]

There are many valid critiques that can be made of the Doctor Who 60th anniversary episodes but I also want to take a moment to appreciate the fact we got good trans/NB rep and a storyline involving someone being content to just live out their days with their best friend.

In a climate where the UK Government still refuses to acknowledge asexuality and aromaticism as sexual orientations, where every day they make it harder for trans people to exist, where they are desperately trying to return to the days of Section 28 (don't say gay) and refuse to ban conversion therapy...

... it was just pretty awesome to have RTD and the entire cast and crew raise a middle finger to all the homophobic/transphobic/racist assholes out there and create something incredibly queer in one of the most watched TV shows broadcast on one of our biggest broadcasters.

I don't know about anyone else but I really needed that.

#doctor who #doctor who 60th anniversary #doctor who spoilers #trans #non-binary #the aroace vibes were real #ten and donna meant everything to me growing up #and to see their relationship not fall into a romantic trope but to be full of so much platonic love #i needed that as much as I needed to see Donna ready to go to war for her non binary kid

[front-facing-pokemon]

#medicham #now this bitch? i don't care what they were in rescue team‚ this is the brawn of team charm. it's her she's real #her and gardevoir both are pokémon that did indeed Show Up in rescue team but i like the line of thought that they're the same #medicham just got trans and gardevoir joined an exploration team to help her forget everything from rescue team or whatever #i also do just love team charm. they're so fuckin extra for no reason. they're so eccentric. they have special animations and a whole #theme song. except it's like. when you're fighting a boss‚ it's not *their* theme song that plays. it's team charm's theme song that plays #they're not fighting team AWD. team AWD is fighting Them. it's INCREDIBLY good and i've always loved team charm and i always will #i dunno why i didn't talk abt this on the gardevoir post. i guess i just forgot bc when i think of gardevoir there's usually other things #i think of first. but medicham is like. yeah. that's team charm