#this is a joke. unless……?

[cleaverqueer]

petition to change LGBT to DFTQ (Dykes Faggots Trannies and Queers, naturally)

#this is a joke unless you take it too seriously and get mad #then its genuine

[nonomives]

Sorry i woke up and chose to be a simp

#welcome home #welcome home arg #welcome home wally #wally darling #wished he'd make me his darling--HA H A H ABKJBSJVJAVVEJBKAS #/joke jok i kid #i mean unless... #a h a--*gets shot* #ok but fr id sell my soul to this man if he asked #digital art #my art #eeart

[astrafortune]

Mwah

Something something every universe

#the name of this drawing in procreate was Going Down… On You Loll #I’m an insane person I’m tearing at the walls making ape noises #those guys were going CRAZY in that elevator like they went in with the open mouth sheeeeesh wait till you get in the car at least #joke joke joke #unless #adventure time #adventure time fanart #fionna and cake #gumlee #gary prince #prince gumball #Marshall lee #bubbline #artists on tumblr #my art

[egophiliac]

CROWLEY SSR THOUGHTS

there is zero basis for this, but I can't get this thought of my head

I don't know why I decided to draw it this way

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers #(these will be relevant in a moment) #this isn't going to happen. but WHAT IF. #anyway i didn't get him (damnit birdman come home) so i had to look up his story #and let me tell you friends my findings were SHOCKING #crowley canonically likes vegetables which means that the crowley is revaan theory = BUSTED #crowley is sailor venus = CONFIRMED #(i know 'whip of love' is a saying but that's where my mind always goes) #DISCLAIMER: this is (mostly) a joke please continue to hold whatever theories and headcanons you want #but look. c'mon. look over here at this whiteboard i've covered in red yarn. #revaan being a picky eater has come up multiple times and there is an entire whole bit about how much he hated jerky and refused to eat it #and now they've made a point of talking about how crowley will eat almost anything and loOoOoves wild game meat especially #it's SO stupid but i can't help but read way too much into it #(this is tumblr if you don't want to see incredibly stupid overanalysis of anime guys then why are you HERE) #and i gotta hold on to something because otherwise whenever malleus and crowley are onscreen together i just keep going 'same hair color... #unless this is like. some kind of deep cover thing. #lilia doesn't recognize him because he saw him eat a green bean once and revaan would NEVER #crowley's secret is safe for another day #(serious hat on: i do think they're probably connected in some way) #(but there's something deeper going on that we're just not clued into yet that will hopefully explain things) #man forget revaan what if crowley whips off his mask and it turns out he was meleanor this whole time #wait hold on meleanor loves jerky. IT ALL FITS...

[spacelazarwolf]

maybe it’s just me but i feel like there’s no way to make “lol she’s clearly an egg” jokes abt cis men who you think are feminine or are exploring their gender presentation while groups like east asian men and jewish men are routinely called effeminate in derogatory and racist/antisemitic ways and stripped of their manhood. we can’t preach “clothes don’t have gender!!!!!! men can wear dresses and makeup too!!!!!!!!” then call a man a closeted trans woman the second he puts on a skirt.

#like can we please just in general stop making egg jokes unless we’re talking abt ourselves or someone who’s ok with it #atm #gender studies

[apavlovs]

If there’s a pootis and a blootis

Does that mean that somewhere out there, there exists a

A redimedes

#digital art #art #tf2 #lil pootis #medimedes #tf2 lil pootis #tf2 medimedes #I don’t know if this counts as a pootis oc so I’m not gonna claim it is one #unless quazies is alright with it 🤷 #yes I did draw this just to make the joke

[rongzhi]

CEO at a restaurant

English added by me :)

#douyin #video #tiktok #i don't usually translate the disclaimers on videos unless they have jokes in them #the timing of this one got me tho #in case you've ever wondered the tiny disclaimers in videos usually say stuff like 'filmed on a closed street' #or 'scripted; for entertainment purposes only' or 'not intended to misguide' #or 'minors should not drink alcohol' etc etc #basic disclaimery stuff

[matchingbatbites]

For @steveshairychest and based on their post here. I read it and just couldn't resist <3

The thing is, Eddie knows that Steve is straight. Honestly, that's the only reason Eddie is as bold as he is, why he starts flirting with him in the first place. He's got years of repressed feelings towards the younger boy, and now they're friends, good friends, and Eddie feels comfortable letting loose some of that pent up attraction, knowing that Steve won’t shun him for it.

He does start off small, just to be safe, with pet names and terms of endearment like handsome, honey, sweetheart. Just little things that make Steve's mouth quirk in a smile, nothing to make him feel uncomfortable. The longer Eddie goes, though, the bolder he gets.

The first pickup line is a joke. They’ve been talking about some new beach movie that's just been released onto video when Steve mentions his lifeguard certification, and before Eddie can stop himself he says “It's a good thing you're a lifeguard, because I'm drowning in your eyes.” 

Steve laughs at that, not mean, just surprised, and is still grinning as he gives a half-hearted “Shut up, Eds,” and turns back to what he was working on. 

And, oh, Steve has no idea what he's done, because Eddie is instantly obsessed with the need to make Steve laugh, to pull out that playful side of him that’s so rare to witness. So Eddie pulls out every dumb pickup line in the book, tries his best to make him laugh again.

“Hey, Stevie, your hand looks lonely. Can I hold it for you?”

“Did you just come out of an oven? Because you're too hot to handle.”

“Is your dad a boxer? Because baby, you're a knockout.”

Most of the time Steve just rolls his eyes and grins, but every so often he’ll make that surprised laugh, or god forbid, he’ll giggle, and Eddie mentally crows in victory every time it happens.

The kiss thing is spur of the moment one day, when Eddie has been hanging out just to be around Steve, and causing a little bit of a racket in the store. After a while, Steve playfully shoves at Eddie's shoulder and says "Get out of here before you get me in trouble, man," and Eddie just grins as he leans into Steve's space. 

"What? No goodbye kiss before you send me off into the world?" 

And oh god, Steve actually blushes this time, his cheeks turning a lovely shade of pink, and oh fuck, Eddie is such a goner. Steve shakes his head and tries his best to hide a smile as he says "In your dreams, Eddie." 

"In my dreams it’ll be, then, handsome," Eddie replies with a grin, giving a mock salute on his way out the door.

It becomes a usual thing, Eddie hanging out and flirting and asking Steve for a kiss before he leaves. Every time, Steve's response is the same, that delightful blush covers his cheeks as he grins and pushes Eddie away with a "Keep dreaming," or a "You wish,” or even a half-assed “Fuck off, Eds.”

It all comes back to bite him in the ass when, for once, Eddie arrives at the video store to pick up Robin, instead of just doing his usual lazing about and bothering Steve.

Walking in, he doesn't see Buckley immediately, but he does spot his favorite person behind the counter and he beelines to Steve. He leans on the counter, elbows on the clean surface and chin in his hands as he bats his eyelashes at Steve.

"Hi Stevie! How's the prettiest boy in Hawkins today?" 

Steve looks over at him and Eddie feels like a deer in headlights when the man gives him a sly grin. He leans on the counter, arms crossed as he presses into Eddie’s space.

"I dunno, gorgeous, how are you doing?" 

All of Eddie's higher brain function just stops as Steve speaks. It’s such a stupid response, something that anyone else might have said if asked the same question, but for some reason it makes Eddie go dumb, cheeks flooding with color and mouth dropping in shock.

Steve’s grin widens and he tips his head to the side, looking like the cat who got the fucking canary. He reaches up and grabs a curl that had fallen from the messy bun Eddie had thrown his hair into, and twists the lock around his finger as he leans even closer.

"You look so fucking good today. Drives me crazy when you wear your hair up like this, sweetheart. Puts your whole neck on display, all that pretty skin just begging to be bitten and marked up."

And yeah, Eddie's brain must be leaking out of his ears, because it’s him, it’s Eddie, the master wordsmith who always has something to say, and all he can manage to get out in response is a single, stupid sounding "Uh.”

Steve's expression shifts to something more condescending and god, Eddie is so into it when he tugs on the curl again and coos "Aw, got nothin’ to say, baby doll? Can't take what you dish out?" 

An embarrassing whine finds its way into the air between them and fuck, Eddie has to go. He needs to leave before he makes an even bigger fool of himself than he already has, because Steve is looking at Eddie like he wants to eat him and his knees feel like jello and where the fuck is Robin??

As though summoned by just a thought, Robin breezes through the shop and throws out a casual “Steve, can you stop? I need him to drive me home and he can’t do that if his brain is mush.”

Eddie glances over as she walks past them, thinks Traitor! as she leaves him at Steve’s mercy and heads outside to his van. He looks back to Steve, at those hazel eyes alight with amusement and tries to get his brain to work.

“I need- uh- Robin-” he stammers, unable to even complete a thought as Steve smirks and leans in even closer, his nose almost brushing against Eddie's when he asks, "Can I get a goodbye kiss?" 

And Eddie could never say no to Steve, especially when the other is looking at him like that. He nods dumbly, hoping he doesn't look as desperate as he feels, and there's another tug on that curl.

"I need you to use your big boy words, sweetheart," Steve says, still tinged with condescension, and Jesus fucking Christ, this whole dynamic is really doing it for Eddie, more so than he ever thought it would.

"Yes, Steve- Please-" he says, fully prepared to start begging if he has to, if he can find the words to, but he's given a bit of mercy when Steve closes the gap between them.

It feels like he’s being electrocuted, and that's all he needs for his brain to get with the program, for his hands to finally respond as they fly up and tangle in honey locks as he kisses back.

Steve groans and presses closer, his tongue bullying its way into Eddie's mouth and Eddie can feel his limbs turning into goo as Steve kisses him thoroughly, those old King skills being put to good use as he wrecks Eddie with just this.

A car horn sounds from outside the shop and Steve pulls away, smirking again at Eddie's soft whine of protest. “You better go before Robin pitches a fit.” 

Eddie nods, still dumbstruck from the last few minutes and says "I- Yeah, okay. Uh, call me? Tonight?"

Steve hums and stands up straight, and Eddie can feel his brain power returning with the little bit of distance now between them. 

“Why don’t you come over after my shift? Say, 9?” Steve asks, giving Eddie that hungry look once again, and Eddie’s breath hitches.

“Yep, yes, I can- I’ll definitely do that,” he answers, taking a few steps back and trying his best not to stumble. “I’ll, uh, see you then, Stevie.”

Steve calls out “See you later, baby doll!” as Eddie scrambles for the door, and oh god, Eddie is fucked.

#the prompt was delicious and I totally ripped a line from it #ily and hope you like it #steddie #steve x eddie #steddie fic #eddie munson #steve harrington #stranger things #joey writes #i wanted eddie to be very silly goofy 'haha joking around with my best bud...unless👀' #and steve to be very straightforward cutthroat 'i know what i want and im gonna fucking get it' #because i feel like that fits them both well #ficlet

[andysambcrg]

fourteen's surprise at himself calling isaac newton hot makes sense when u remember that he was a lesbian 5 minutes ago

#I'm joking ik that 13 is probably bi like all the other doctors... unless? #dw #doctor who #fourteenth doctor #wild blue yonder #keeley.txt

[jaratedeguadalupe]

what do you mean this isn't canon

#so so so SO tempted to make this into a fic #i'm not even joking #it doesn't even have to be practical espionage #it just needs to be spy pointing at a pot and asking where its hat is #is this funny to anyone else #don't answer that unless that answer is yes or you're getting blocked #tf2 #team fortress 2 #tf2 engineer #tf2 spy #engiespy #practical espionage

[cowboythewizard726]

oh my ogoyd..,,.,.mmarrcile you cuttie pattootie magical freak!!! everybody give her a round of applause!!1! what a wonderful girl woman !!! i love her dearly and she frightens me so

#dungeon meshi #marcille dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #delicious in dungeon spoilers #dungeon meshi spoilers #dunmeshi spoilers #MARCILE!!!! HIYA!!!! #SHES SO SILLY AND DEMANDING AND WIBDERFOL #this one is for my friend HIIII KARIN HIIII HAPPY BIRTHDAY HIYA HIYA HIYA HIYA!!!!! #MARICLE #MARCILKE!!!! MARICKEL #HOW DO YOU SPELL IT #M A R C I L L E #? #YEAH THATS IT !!! #! #MARCILLE!!!!!!!!!!! #marcille donato #marcille dunmeshi #dunmeshi #delicious in dungeon marcille #minor laios and chilchuck but i sent them to the bottom :) #also chilchack fuck OFF god forbid a woman joke about DARK MAGIC #oh GOD theres so many images #this is my white girl #this be my white girl #love her dearly she probably bites #dont get too close UNLESS ur falin or ituzumi #yeah she would defintaly bite #love her os much oh the marcille meshi

[daily-odile]

idk if you've watched any of Jello's ISAT streams but

Odile wearing Jordans

based on that one twitter post

#isat #in stars and time #isat odile #combining the jordans joke with this pose redraw #because I can :) #day 15 #man this is cursed #jello's streams are how I got into isat actually #big epithet erased fan here #Or was. Cause. This stupid game replaced my fixation on it #I was like after watching the stream. Ok I will Not be able to stop thinking about this unless I play it for myself. So I did #Speedran the game in 2 days; joined the discord; and now here I am #Anyways I should go do that ee x isat crossover soon

[bloo-the-dragon]

Umm... yeah so. I got a new pet. He zoomies

Inspired by this:

@crackedlemoncandy​

#fnaf #fnaf security breach #five nights at freddy's #five nights at freddy's security breach #fnaf daycare attendant #fnaf moon #fnaf moondrop #fnaf fanart #giga moon #Bloo's Art #i'm sorry #so for full context i have a giga moon reblog stuck in my drafts #i cannot see or remove it unless i go to post editor #so i made a joke of keeping him there like a pet in a hamster cage

[wealthyfishmonger]

more recent SIGNALIS sketches sorry I haven't uploaded for a while

#signalis #signalis fanart #ariane yeong #elster #signalis spoilers #lstr 512 #signalis star #eule signalis #eulr #the fourth one is a stupid in joke #i thought it was funny #unless rose-engine confirms that elster can say purple burglar alarm #it is canon

[mlpoutofcontext]

#that has to be the old season 1 joke they've referenced the most #unless you consider the entire episode 'A Health of Information' to be one big 'Id like to be a tree' reference #Best Gift Ever #Christmas #mlp #My Little Pony #mlp fim #my little pony friendship is magic #mlp g4 #Fluttershy #Rainbow Dash #Flim

[kerryweaverlesbian]

Thinking about Cas roped into a little kids teaparty while they're investigating a case and being firmly told he's a princess and a plastic crown slapped onto his head and Dean checks in on him saying "hey you wanna come to [next investigation scene]?" And all the kids go noooooo bc they love Cas bc he's Weird and very serious and patient with them about their games which is very funny to them and he pays focused attention which almost always makes kids happy.

And Cas, very solemn, goes "I'm a princess now Dean, I need to oversee my kingdom's affairs". And it becomes a comedy C plot of Cas n the kids fantasy game getting really politically detailed and fucked up while the boys do all the investigation work. Maybe there's some cut-betweens of the kids fantasy violence of smashing dolls together and Sam n Dean getting thrown around.

#the joke is how engaged he is in the game not that he's a princess #he's a princess bc he'd make a cute princess is all #i think cas IS good with kids but it's not quite in the way that's depicted in the show when he talks to that one little girl with Hannah #he's good with kids because he gives a lot of attention and would let them do whatever play they needed to and would stop them getting hurt #but would let them try difficult things rather thab do things for them #and he's remarkably patient unless it's with someone he already doesn't like