#this is based on a scene from seinfeld

[askarkham]

"Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live."

-Oscar Wilde

#edward nigma #riddler #jervis tetch #mad hatter #batman #rogues gallery #selfishness #this is based on a scene from seinfeld #lololol

[bulkhummus]

you better tell him next time janet

(based on a scene from seinfeld 6.13)

#wtnv #welcome to night vale #cecil palmer #carlos robles #janet lubelle #cecilos #night vale #art tag

[olderthannetfic]

https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/740284683556929536/

Omg I'm so sorry! I wrote that anon when I was sleepy so it had very ham-fisted wording. Yes, I meant to ask about portraying self-esteem issues about bodies. I thought guys don't talk about it much.

To that one person, why would dudes comparing dick sizes be considered smut? I can see it being rated M. Are you suggesting the rating go up to E?

--

Ahahaha.

Uh... anon... if that's truly what you were trying to ask... I think maybe you need to work on your writing a bit more. The vibes you give off are odd, to say the least...

Like, creepy pervert angling for foot fetish photos while lying about what they want-level weird.

It sounds like you want to heavy-breathe while reading guys' descriptions of their own penises, not like you want help with writing.

--

The reason your ask reads so "She breasted boobily down the stairs" but from the other side is that guys, at least from what I've seen, do not stand around comparing their dicks, at least not in the way you implied.

The people who most commonly compare their junk out of curiosity are toddlers.

This is something tiny children do. Anecdotally, some teens do it, but a lot don't, and there are clickbait articles about athletes sizing each other up this way, but they are just that: clickbait. I'm not saying it never happens, but you wrote about it like it always happens.

It is fucking weird to have a grown-ass man routinely doing it outside of maaaaybe some weirdly homoerotic scene in a stoner comedy or something.

People joke about this practice because it's a thing that exists, not because it is ubiquitous.

That's also why it reads like porn. IRL, if some dude is like "I think we should compare our dicks... uh... and they should be hard so we can compare properly", many other guys are going to interpret that as sexual. And also self-deluding. Which is a good reason to say no.

--

Most people in locker rooms and public bathrooms try to give each other a little privacy if they can, regardless of gender. Openly ogling is what you do if you're about to proposition someone for sex. Or, if it's hostile, you stare because you're about to beat them up.

I'm not saying a guy couldn't sneakily see the size of another guy's junk and have a response, but the whole way you described this sounds like you've never spoken to a human before. Did you seriously get this idea from those clickbait articles?

Among other issues, penises become erect. They look different in different states of arousal. Surely, you've heard of "growers vs. showers"? Temperature also matters. There's a whole fucking bit on Seinfeld that everyone quoted for like years and is probably still quoting about "shrinkage"—i.e. a guy is insecure that someone saw him when he'd just gotten out of the pool and his dick looked small because he was cold. Hopefully, the locker room isn't that cold, but you still don't know what a dude's dick looks like all of the time from catching a glimpse of it one time.

So an adult man who is not completely unfamiliar with penises is not going to 1. openly stare at another man in the locker room and 2. look only at his penis and have some crisis about "Mine looks different".

I suppose for the right character in the right circumstances, you can sell any kind of goofy-ass reaction, including the "breasted boobily" stuff where women think consciously about their tits in a way that actual women generally don't and male authors love to write. But you have to make it a whole Thing. She has to have some reason why her nipples are super sensitive today and thus she pays attention when she normally wouldn't.

Instead, you keep asking these dumbass questions like you're 12 that boil down to "Literally all men are the same cardboard cutout based on their D&D stats from this character sheet. Please tell me some facts about these stats!" instead of approaching people as individual humans who all react differently. You haven't even said anything about what kind of culture these characters come from. Both personality and specific culture (not just big things like nationality but shit like whether they're athletes who change with the same guys all the time) are going to affect how and whether men talk about self esteem and bodies.

You're boiling this down to "What does the penis-having alien species all do?" despite already getting several answers that told you to stop doing that. You either didn't listen or didn't understand what people meant so badly that it's pointless to keep giving you help.

This is not a good way to write three-dimensional characters.

--

Now, I'm not saying nobody has ever snuck a peek in a locker room. Lots of people, regardless of gender, do that. But we're talking covert looks and that kind of looking gives you glimpses of many body parts and not always a very clear look either.

Most actual men on most actual days of their lives are going to feel insecure about their bodies relative to someone else because the other dude looks better at the gym or grows chest and facial hair more easily or is much taller or isn't going bald.

We love to make jokes about penis size, but in my experience, the level of perpetual crisis dudes have over potential baldness is way higher. There are a shitton of ways to be insecure about yourself and your body. That goes for any gender.

Maybe a dude feels insecure because the other guy is much less body-conscious and has an easier time changing in front of people or because he's paid five times as much and is changing into a thousand dollar suit.

Many of the markers of masculinity and attractiveness have very little to do with penises.

There's also a vast difference between your POV character thinking some other dude's huge package is admirable and your POV character thinking he himself is inadequate. He could think his own dick is average and that it would be nicer to be hung like a pornstar without being insecure about it. He could also have a big dick yet still be insecure about it because he's a weirdo who's obsessed with penis size. He could be a size queen who wants to take a ride on that. He could have an ex girlfriend who thought big penises hurt and be creepily fascinated and wonder whom this guy fucks and how they manage.

--

All this shit is a character point. Stop treating it as immutable truth where someone can give you the Correct Answer™ for you to slot into your writing or spank bank fantasies.

[oknowkiss]

wip snip sunday

wow wow wow for the first time in... a year i think? i have something i can post a wip snip for! thank you for the tags @wolfpants @lettersbyelise @sweet-s0rr0w !! this snip is from my @dronarryfest fic, which is a seinfeld au loosely based on the episode "the contest." below is an unedited snip from the opening scene.

“I’m cursed, Harry,” Ron moans, face buried in the broad expanse of his hands. “I’m going to be alone forever.”

“I dunno about all that,” Harry says, at the same time as Hermione tears a croissant in half and says, “Sounds right to me.”

Harry kicks her under the rickety coffee shop table. She widens her eyes at him and says, “What?” as she shoves a large bite of flaky pastry into her mouth.”Ith true.” 

“You don’t understand us, Hermione. Men in love are a complex breed,” Harry says loyally, patting Ron on the back. He’s bent so low over his coffee that the ends of his golden-red hair are curling in the steam from his latte. 

Hermione chokes. 

She bangs her chest with her fist, eyes watering. Harry debates helping her, and decides she doesn’t need it. She’ll be fine in a moment. Probably. 

The croissant goes down and Hermione gasps, her incredulity rough and ready at the tip of her tongue. “I don’t understand you?” she says. “You two. The two of you, right here. You and–and him?” She gestures at Ron with the ragged half of croissant still in her hand. 

“Here we go,” Harry says, rolling his eyes as he takes an unamused sip of mocha, still so hot it burns his tongue.

“First of all,” Hermione starts. “He–” she points at Ron. “--wasn’t in love. He wasn’t in love with Lavender this time and he wasn’t in love with her the first go around. He can’t have been in love, because he has sausage roll for a heart and soup where his brain should be.”

“Is there soup?” Ron asks weakly, eyes hopeful.

i'm a little behind on my tags and mentions so i presume everyone i'm tagging has done this already. consider this an opportunity to share more! @mintawasalreadytaken @vukovich @fluxweeed @citrusses @sorrybutblog @tackytigerfic @oflights @mallstars @saintgarbanzo @dodgerkedavra and open tag for anyone else who'd like to share! 

#my wips #my fic #wip snip #harry potter #ron weasley #hermione granger

[bunnyinatree]

I’d like to imagine that this happens at a point in time where Light genuinely can’t tell if L is more interested in him as a potential boyfriend or a murder suspect.

[image ID: A four-panel comic, based on a scene from Seinfeld.  In the first frame, L is staring with wide eyes and asking, “Quick what’s your favorite animal?”  In the second frame, he is looking at Light, who is sweating and saying, “I-I don’t know... A frog?”  In the third frame, L is frowning and echoing, “A frog?”  In the fourth and final frame, he is looking down, chewing on his thumbnail, and saying, “Frog is wrong.” “Wrong” is underlined twice.  End image ID.]

#death note #l lawliet #light yagami #i drew this over two months and spent most of that time on the background #which technically i didn't finish because idek what i want to have outside of the window #oh well partially finished is better than never posted #my art

[whomstwedointheshadows]

Season 6 Nandermo Prediction: Monty Python to Seinfeld to the Office Finale

In Honor of Reality TV House Flippers, I Present Vampires in Court TV

*CRACK ATTACK*

To honor Serial Killer Guillermo and the show subverting the reality/ sit-com format, I need the Staten Island Gang questing to face off the Big Bad. The Big Bad has a Network. They track them down, expanding their own territory, nutty vampire death sentences and leaning in to dark humor. Gore, bodies, glory everywhere. Evidence to one former familiar, everywhere, as vampires now help with cleaning up as as they are more equal in the house.

The Big Bad is revealed to be a holy terror and also cute as a bloodthirsty bunny. Bunnicula, the Big Bad, if you will.

See Murder Husband dream fighting together, Guillermo pledging to do whatever it takes to survive and come home together, overcoming this comically adorable foe. The fight is more glamor shots, inspiring questions of fan service and striking home Yes This Is Homoerotic and Camp until they win, plot feels rushed to audience but it’s clearly just a set up for Big Confession Time. Obviously they are Fully Realized and Ready for It, now show us!!

Vampires done vamping with the fallen head home, masses of dead-dead/undead cut up, ready for further dumping. Incriminating, but just the usual work for a familiar now shared. Matching gore and relief for Nandor and Guillermo, a picture of intimacy.

All these dead in the name of Flirting, they openly acknowledge, laugh together. Nandermo is here, the scene is tipping in to a Big Confession, Big Kiss… something…

In swarm the police, Humans, incongruous immediately with sense of culmination of fifteen years of pining. Trucks, helicopters, tanks against stakes. Completely lost the romance, dark humor into a Gritty True Crime NARRATIVE.

Narration of Colin Robinson expressing ACAB, but an energy vampire has to feed, won’t it be great when this airs? First acknowledgment the footage is broadcasting somewhere and he feeds from the viewer.

Too tired to kill them all, too many to immediately hypnotize. Nandor bats, at Guillermo insistence, now begins comical on-the-run and hypnosis witness tampering from the vampires. Wackiness includes decorating courtroom based on family side, sculpture and blood fountain delivery… but Guillermo somehow gets one day house arrest with his mother, Nandor does his best to arrange a tender Spa Day and they’re summoned back to night court. Night Court is of course, more nebulously supernatural and quickly kicks out of Mortal Prison into Farce with Consequences.

Mainly: Can someone explain the relationship of a rampaging slayer to his vampire former-master-warlord as they’re claiming new territory? How safe is the wider supernatural community, and are they like, a new conquering force or …another Thing? What to do about this?

Return of lawyer Lazlo, reference to hating the English during all the court proceedings (and damn isn’t this the ending of Monty Python and the Holy Grail? Seinfeld? -that was only because they were cowards that ran out of budget or wouldn’t get characters together, classic comedy half hours end with a wedding), public acknowledgement Guillermo’s a fucking slayer/serial killer to Silvia de la Cruz, seemingly friendly with Nandor and show of being peaceful amongst the crowd of supernaturals and, rather than fury of a Van Helsing, she shares she knew Memo had it bad for his boss. (Clearly, the Slayer bloodline doesn’t activate into killer mode, or is more controlled, when she understands them and isn’t surprised.)

Cue talkback scenes about an effing clip show in court as evidence, Nadja mostly focused on famous like OJ and explaining the web of who was horny when because what when presented with evidence, wearing matching wigs with Lazlo. Mimics Office Finale allowing for further commentary, still centered around present character interests. Definitely charting the course of Nandermo, getting more off camera stories of observing the Pining. Murder is framed in the context of caretaking and making Nandor horny, like they’re going out of their way to explain (to Silvia?) how involved her son is in their unit and vampire relations. Also, he’s a badass so no one fucks with him or those under his protection. Thank g- there’s this badass footage that doesn’t show Memo in too much danger or really, really hurt.

Cross examination of Nandermo by Lazlo, first kiss revealed years ago off screen, fucking all season, I love you’d exchanged but ‘I’ll be with you forever, whatever it takes’ WAS exchanged in the previous episode before battle, thus honeymoon glow and downright joyous-sexually charged battle.

Lawyer Lazlo: Do you think we have a fucking documentary crew and now we worry about courtrooms? Gizmo killed a theatre of vampires to save us and we took over the fucking council. Yes, we’re callous, we’re cruel, we’re insensitive to mortal and immortal suffering if it doesn’t concern ourselves. We’re killers, including our dramatic slayer here who’s the youngest but catching up on body count, and we’re a family. We love each other. We will protect each other. We’ll end anything that gets in our way, whatever it takes. Nandor, you’re up.

Nandor: *to put a button on the unable to drink blood, totally able to slay Guillermo arc, see previous fights up to Bunnicula, reference to be together forever, whatever it takes.*

Obviously Nandor has already discussed a big celebration for a possible yet-not-planned turning, but Guillermo suggested simple and ‘like a courthouse wedding, yes’ - Both understand the offer is on the table and Guillermo just says when he’s ready, and it’s okay if that turns out to be never. His hesitation has remained his ties with his Mom. It’s yes to all his life with Nandor, vampirism second concern when he’s accepted and ready as he can be for the consequences, specifically loosing his mom, who is not brain scramblie’d and here today, seeing all of Guillermo and his vampires.

Nandor, a strategist: welcome to our wedding!! Look at the public awe of your many conquered foes! You’re so amazing as a warrior and my closest friend. I am PROUD for EVERYONE to know you’re incredible and I’m head over heels for you, forever. Everyone includes your mom, as my family too, who is not killing all vampires on sight now! And everyone knows if they fuck with your vampire or slayer family, we’ll kill them and enjoy it together! Do you appreciate my intricate ritual of planning a wedding after you went and said yes to forever before I could propose after our many escalating battles together?

Guillermo: so, even with the documentary crew, we’ve always kept our intimacy for us. Yes, it was kinda toxic, but Nandor is my idiot, except when he’s a genius. And it feels good. To be proud of us. They celebrated me. So, let’s party.

Cut to everyone dirty, raunchy dancing, sloppy kissing, exceedingly graphic reception cut for rating. New glitter portrait of vampiric Nandor and Guillermo, kissing, sparkly bare chests in the Tigris, captioned ‘Honeymoon’

___

++Would love to see a parallel for the death of the historian in Monty Python leading to an arrest of King Arthur/Knights and the dead camera crew members leading to excessive workplace safety fines being the only lasting damage determined by the court.

+++Collin Robinson is somehow working for the prosecution, a corporate media outlet, and as expert testimony. No one is ever clear what the ‘trial’ actually is, he’s just fond of objections. Framing moves from court tv to royal wedding coverage, slowly edging the viewer wanting Nandermo confirmation about [yes, that is a glitter portrait from Nandor to Guillermo on 10 anniversary as master and familiar and here’s another one from later on their second anniversary.. of what? Well, how one can define a relationship is complex… oh! Let’s go frame by frame on these clips of their hands! ] confirming the bigger picture, Has segments devils advocating himself against Nancy Grace angry emotional vampire.

*** this is specifically a Crack!fic ideas playing with the idea all of Nandermo must be on camera, the viewer is primed for the next big step to be a confession or kiss, but what if we just jump straight to just married the dirty grinding, sloppy drunk kissing in public with all your family watching. Strikes me as a f-you to all the sweet chaste network gays, this is the suck and fuck show, babe

**** this is also a subversion of Guillermo resolving his arc as a vampire, having to be ‘ruthless’ enough, instead it’s about being assured in himself, what he wants, and cherished by those he loves. His found family accepting and making space for his family, because they care about his decisions and maybe he doesn’t have to choose, so they try. He’s gained the confidence in himself and is celebrated, welcomed, and supported by those he loves.

*****Listen, Nandor, was it kind of toxic to let your boyfriend get arrested and did you maybe plan a slaying rampage for the ‘gram- no one can quite prove, but good thinking if it was spur of the moment after the arrest, it tracks that a former warlord would yell about how awesome his spouse is and don’t fuck with us so they can have a bubble of peace due to the terror

#nandermo #wwdits meta #what we do in the shadows #wwdits 6 #Nandor the relentless #serial killer Guillermo #guillermo de la cruz #crack fic #someone please stop me #someone write this #silvia de la cruz

[islamicbiotic]

Finally caved and saw Dune 2021:

-Lightskin Chani narrates the opening instead of Irulan. I’ve always loved “The beginning is the time for taking the most delicate care…”, the opening from the book. David Lynch kept it in his movie, and the monologue even shows up in the official movie soundtrack for ‘84 by Toto. The fact that it’s not here doesn’t bode well.

-I always thought Dune was a very Asiatic work of sci-fi. Caladan is Space-Indonesia with its islands and rice paddies. The Fremen are descendants of Muslims, and they practice a weird, syncretic version of Islam with bits of Buddhism in it. I don’t like how Timotheeeee’s house has a bonsai tree framed by Chinese Circle Doors and only Yueh is the lone Asian there as a healer. I feel like I’m with Donna Chang from Seinfeld.

-Ferguson was a good choice for Lady Jessica.

-Zendaya can’t play dangerous. What’d you expect from a Disney whelp?

-Caladan is so cold and gray, not like in the books. Thanks, I hate it!

-Oscar Isaac is light, but he’d have to have fucked a ghost if I’m to believe he could play Timotheee’s dad.

-Mohiam is pretty spot on.

-I hate this version of Caladan. It’s so cold, so unhospitable, even compared to Arrakis. The entire point of Caladan is that it’s a lush Eden.

-According to X-Ray, Atreides martial arts is based on Filipino fighting styles. Oh, like Thanos and Fauntleroy could ever.

-There are no upside down cows on Giedi Prime. Man-Spider? What are you talking about? There WASN’T a man-spider in this movie.

-Considering how…. light this movie is, I expected Denis to whitewash Dr. Yueh. Also, Yueh uses Mandarin to speak to Paul on the sly while he’s administering his Suk healer powers. It feels orientalist.

-The landers that descend from the Heighliner onto Arrakis remind me of the eggs from Arrival.

-Jessica and her attendants at the spaceport are gorgeous, although one can’t help but think of Padme and her girl gang in Episode 1.

-Thufir is black (SMH is really fair, even compared to Zendaya) and he calls Paul “Young Master” when he lands on Arrakis. The optics aren’t lost on me.

-The thopters are really sexy.

-Right after, there’s a scene of townspeople praying. If they weren’t wearing 3 burqas one on top of the other, it would look like home to me.

-Denis… he has a certain visual style. He loves bare concrete, pitted, monolithic surfaces. It feels like he’s using Voice on my eyes. Something about the lines, the starkness… You have to meet his style halfway.

-Jason Momoa shaves halfway. Like I said about unsettlingly bare surfaces.

-Zendaya, being Disney, can’t act. She is mostly here to tempt Paul in his visions. I mean, just like in the first third of the book, but… why not get someone who… let’s just say, doesn’t burn that easy out there to play Fremen.

-My image of the Sardaukar was always the Purge Troopers from Fallen Order. Here, they reminded me of Ronan the Accuser from Guardians Vol. 1, but dialed up to 90.

-The invasion… is slightly less awesome, because you don’t see Patrick Stewart as Gurney, running into battle cradling a pug.

-I want that bagpipe riff to play at my funeral.

-Ok, so to have Yueh, the lone Asian man, act not just a healer with strange powers, muttering in Mandarin, but also have him betray the good Atreides, was that Herbert being low key… you know?

-Also, I just realized they got rid of two important scenes: Jessica finding the Secret Garden, and the dinner where Leto’s guests, the rich townsfolk of Arrakeen, spill water everywhere to express their station. The palm tree thing drives the point of both home? A garden is visually too much for a Denis movie, though.

-They had to prop Leto in the altogether like that. Easier on the eyes than the Baron but like… really?

-The one scene that made me cry in the book, “His only regret was that he never made you his Duchess”, wasn’t here. Like Jessica cries in the tent, but… I just didn’t feel it.

-Kynes looking out at Arrakeen, similar energy to Leia’s death stare on Crait. The music in that scene, similar melody to the main theme from the 1984 movie.

-Kynes doesn’t get her trippy death involving visions of the previous Kynes. I liked it because it highlighted the strangeness of the desert, and stressed the environment-y themes.

-Timotheeee has to whitesplain how Fremen live to his mom after their thopter crashes. It felt… redundant. Jessica’s a Lady of a House and a Bene Gesserit. Shouldn’t she have done her Arrakis homework too?

-No one in the main cast has any experience speaking Arabic and it shows. I’m not watching the second movie if Timotheeee and Zendaya butcher the phrase “Lisan Al-Gaib” again.

-Nothing is more arrogant than ending your movie with the line “this is just the beginning”.

Arrival is one of my favorite movies ever. Blade Runner 2049 existed only to strip all ambiguity from the original. Dune errs… towards the latter. There’s a lot of care in every frame! And Hans Zimmer and those bagpipes! But the young leads are just so, so miscast. And I still stand by my original statement. Who are THEY to tell me that the apex of humanity is the whitest person alive? I know Duncan becomes the Chosen One in the later books, but that’s not the implication the movie and its marketing circus, both infinitely more visible than the sequel books, are giving me

6.5/10.

#dune #dune 2021

[thekimspoblog]

@somethin-stupid-67

Season 6 still canonically happened. He went to prison in 2010. He did end up serving 6 years of his sentence, but in 2016 Kim was contacted by Caleb Dawson, the eccentric preacher of a unitarian church based in Wyoming. He was impressed with her recent heroism at the womens' clinic, but the truth is Dawson has been paying attention to Saul Goodman and his associates for quite a while. Dawson used to be a friend of Ricky Sipes (BCS S1E5), who did end up going ahead with his secession plan after Jimmy turned him down. Dawson opposes the government and prisons in general, and so he's been planting his followers on parole boards for quite some time now. Considering Saul has become an icon among libertarian weirdos (the church's main membership), Dawson would be happy to pull some strings for Kim; because Jimmy is a nonviolent offender, he can be transferred to a minimum security prison in Wyoming, and from there they can get him released on house arrest in a matter of months. There's just one thing Dawson needs from Kim first: The megachurch game is really a winner-take-all industry, and Dawson has made enemies with some of his conservative competitors; other churches he'd like to crush and absorb into his own. Sure, Kim's not a lawyer anymore, not on paper... but she's still got some magic in her... and if she could come up with a plan for the other churches to lose their tax-exempt status... well she scratches his back, he'll scratch hers.

Of course Kim initially runs for the door. She doesn't want to prank anymore; shit gets real. But the universe quickly chips away at her reluctance: before the meeting with Dawson even took place, a corrupt cop beat her for helping a 17 yo get an abortion (and this also leads to her breaking up with Glenn). While seeing a doctor after that assault, she learns she has a few good childbearing years left, but the window is closing fast. What's more, hard to say if it's depression, clairvoyance or what, but Kim has been having this persistent, recurring dream; she keeps thinking back to "Suspiria" 1977, a horror movie she and Jimmy watched one night only a week before they broke up in 2004. It feels like more than a dream; it feels like she's seen a glitch in the matrix. And if her nights are haunted with tingles of the supernatural, her waking hours are plagued with apocalyptic visions. She wants to dismiss the feeling of doom as just being a symptom of hating her life in Florida (something she's tried to just accept) but when Hillary loses the election, and she sees her own cowardice reflected back in Clinton's willingness to just "accept" the results even if thousands will die, it's the final straw. Maybe Kim's not a good person, maybe when she acts, people can get hurt... but she can't spend the rest of her life living a lie/waiting around to die.

*Hillary didn't lose the popular vote. You know what I meant; she won the popular vote but the EC handed the title over to the traitorous rapist anyway. We all saw what happened.

Between 2010 and 2016, Kim and Jimmy were still meeting in prison once every few months. The scene we saw at the end of S6 WAS supposed to be goodbye, but as Jerry Seinfeld famously said, never bet against the backslide. When Kim went back to volunteering as a law clerk, that meant going back to the same old vocational headaches, and that just made her miss him all the more. First she was only visiting the prison every 6 months, then only once a month; by 2016 she's in the lobby like clockwork every Thursday. Everything else in life has been a disappointment, and even if things were going better for her, she'd want him there.

It was a small betrayal, but the fact is she did conceal her reasons from him, for why she really wanted him out. She emphasized the fact that the US prison system was exploiting him in a way that had nothing to do with whether he was rehabilitated; she emphasized how the nation was devolving into anarchy and he's the only man who's ever made her feel truly safe. She didn't mention that she was trying to get pregnant until Episode8 of Slippin' Kimmy, when he was already sprung. And at first he didn't react too well to the proposition; he's getting kinda fed up with how she jerks him around.

#kim wexler #jimmy mcgill #bcs #better call saul #mcwexler #kim x jimmy #slippin kimmy #breaking bad #kim is more fun when she's being a crazy bitch sorry if y'all are too boring to let her be mean #the showrunners said they're turning the characters over to the fans well this is what she'd do next if it were up to me #no YOU don't understand how homicidal women working within the legal field are feeling right now; howard was just an appetizer #taking a lot of influence from Righteous Gemstones ngl

[hangon-silvergirl]

G, M & P for the fic writer ask game, pleeeeaase! 😘

Thanks for the ask! ❤️

G: Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order?

It depends. I write the bulk linearly, but sometimes I'll write out scenes ahead of time to help flesh out the path toward it, though I'll often end up having to re-write it. Or when I'm stuck on a particular vibe/scene I'll leave placeholder text and write ahead and come back to it later.

M: Got any premises on the back burner that you'd care to share?

WIPs for days! At some point I might even write/finish them. 😅 I have unfinished 'episodes' that will continue my runaway bride series, Last Chance to Run, which will be Friends/90s-sitcom inspired one-shots. One is Chrissy meeting the rest of the gang in her ketchup-stained wedding gown, another is a musical-episode (a la Buffy, Xena) inspired one from Eddie's POV when he's high in the hospital and his friends come to visit him, and a third is based on The Contest episode of Seinfeld (in which the gang sees who can go the longest without masturbating). I have a further list of ideas (and am open to suggestions!). I have two sequels to the buzz planned, one about the Saturday date, plus a way-in-the-future fic. And I am currently writing a valentine's fic based on a prompt from @majicmarker, which is heavily influenced by the teen movies of yore.

P: Are you what George R. R. Martin would call an "architect" or a "gardener"? (How much do you plan in advance, versus letting the story unfold as you go?)

For multi-chapter fics I usually do a table for a rough outline, to determine the timeframe it takes place in, and plot points I want to hit. For chapters I will usually have a good idea going in on the progression and will just section and summarize and go, and I take a similar approach with one-shots, unless I'm just vibing, in which case I write paragraphs of nonsense and rearrange them just so when I'm done.

From the FanFic Ask Game.

#ask alie #dash games #hellcheer fanfic #hellcheer fanfic: the buzz #hellcheer fanfic: the scandal of it all #so many wips #jenniebellie

[twosides--samecoin]

😈❌️

Has there been a point in a story where you did something just to be playfully mean to your readers?

TL;DR i'm messing with you people at all times

Almost every chapter there's something tiny that's meant to catch your ear like "I've heard that before, wtf". Most will never connect but there's someone who's gonna be like, "Wait, I'm a huge Katya Zamolodchikova fan, she said that" or "Wait.. 'Makers Mark, Up.' Is that from the movie Juno?" or "YOU QUOTED AUSTIN POWERS GOLDMEMBER?" or "This.. this is just Waiting For Godot, you absolute cycle path" I just allow myself to do silly things for fun as long as they fit. I mix high and low with references that make me happy because at the end of the day I write it for me and I'd be happiest with reference-spouting here and there!

My type of messing with the audience is also the layered mystery elements I have. The location that RJ is in could technically be guessed in Chapter 1 based off of Jack listing a couple former US states, and if someone who lived in the areas mentioned were reading they could 100% put RJ's specificlocation on a shortlist of guesses. It's guessable without the AO3 tags, or the other hints I dropped later on.

In the obvious references movie references and whatnot? Jack is saying them, my SoSu OC. He's the speaking piece for anything I can bet someone my age could pick up. As a prewar guy it works. Culture didn't really end with the 50s so much in my fic.. which has also been secretly established in the posted chapters >:)

What's a trope you will never write?

I am loathe to say I would never write a trope because they're tools. And I will never back down from a trope writing challenge but there's definitely ways I structured my fic away from certain tropes. I will say I "dislike" tropes that are hard to subvert. Age difference is one I have seen a few times with RJ pairings so I'm not doing that.

I'm still new to fanfiction so maybe there's some tropes that read weird to me but I can't really buy the soulmates trope. Maybe I haven't found That One Fic but I'm not into it so far?? I bet I could make writing one fun

Only One Bed!! Honestly?? I would play it like Seinfeld or Dumb and Dumber or Planes Trains and Automobiles. Bring back the platonic only one bed scene with the homies :)

Love triangles. Just date them at the same time cmon there is a very simple solution here. Just never been for me

#thank you for the ask #long time running #writer asks

[gigolohifumi]

oh yeahhhh in cw we had like a scene building activity w/ the guest speaker?? and. we had to pick like an object and we stood around as if we were that object and built a house and a story based on everyones object. this one kid picked:

round one: kramer from seinfeld

round two: kramer from seinfeld, except as an fbi agent that doesnt know what hes doing

round three: kramer from seinfeld, as a model

and u know what. good for them

#💝.txt

[hilli98215]

I posted 6,980 times in 2022

485 posts created (7%)

6,495 posts reblogged (93%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@queen-with-the-quill

@storyweaverofgondor

@roxycake

@tending-the-hearth

@skywalkerangst

I tagged 948 of my posts in 2022

#disney - 110 posts

#personal - 63 posts

#kingdom hearts - 54 posts

#thanks for the ask - 32 posts

#teacher things - 26 posts

#tagged post - 25 posts

#youtube - 24 posts

#fandom - 24 posts

#random - 22 posts

#disney parks - 22 posts

Longest Tag: 105 characters

#but i really only know jason alexander from his performance in seinfeld (comedy) and cinderella (musical)

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

As he should....

Go see tick, tick... BOOM! if not for the musical aspect, just for Andrew Garfield's performance. He is wonderful and yes. He did learn to sing and play the piano for this role.

37 notes - Posted January 10, 2022

#4

...that 'We Don't Talk About Bruno' performance was bad. Very very bad. They could have made it so good but nope

42 notes - Posted March 27, 2022

#3

What do you think about Disney’s gargoyles, the tv show? I think it’s much better and mature and has some Batman the animated series vibes.

Hello Anon!

I was in the generation where I watched reruns of Gargoyles with my older siblings in the early/mid 2000's. We loved this show for the fact that it was much different than the animated shows Disney had at the time which were based on their IPs (Hercules, The Little Mermaid, and Goof Troop for example).

As for it was a better show, that depends on what you like to watch. It was diffidently influenced by BTAS (which ran from 1992-1995 but kept going on due to reruns) since that series took its audience seriously and knew it could still give its lessons but in a mature way.

The same could be said about Gargoyles. The creators took their audience seriously while also creating a show that was appropriate for kids and something parents could watch with them. It still had lessons but also characters who were more than comedic relief.

The villain is great, the cast of characters is memorable, and it's a series that may forget was a thing and is part of Disney Animation and storytelling.

Getting off track for a bit, but here is a video from NerdWire where they discuss the show and why it was so good and why people should watch it.

56 notes - Posted February 20, 2022

#2

This. This is a great example why people want to become teachers.

That scene on KLAUS (2019) made me smile because that's what we want to see in our students. The simple joy and wonderment of learning. Even as simple as writing your name.

(Also you need to turn your phone if you want to watch the clip. Sorry desktop users....)

95 notes - Posted November 11, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I've been sick for a few days so I can finally put my thoughts into words. I was in the middle of watching Infinity Train. Actually, I was on season 1 episode 3 and was going to continue watching the show when I had a chance.

But now I can't. I had to watch the news unfold by watching various TikTok users and reading Twitter threads. Then to realize that it was not only various animated shows that were taken off the HBO Max platform but also 200 episodes of Sesame Street.

And for what? A freaking tax credit? That's not how this works.

You see what Warner Brothers is doing is atrocious. Not only are they alienating an entire medium of entertainment, but they are also telling the animators, voice actors, editors, directors, and others that they don't matter.

Animation matters. The people who put their blood, sweat, and tears, and took time away from their families matter. The fans of these shows matter.

Warner Brothers is not going to save money, they are going to lose it in the worse way possible.

196 notes - Posted August 20, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #some of these are very unexpected #epecially that last one #Youtube

[lightningblade1994-blog]

A rough illustration based on that one scene from “Seinfeld”

----------------------------------------------------------------

Butch: Check it out... [turns around & shows off the 8 Ball symbol on his jacket] “8-Ball” [points at Amy Rose] You got a question... [turns around again] You ask the “8-Ball”!

Amy Rose: [puzzled] You’re gonna wear this-- all the time?

Butch: All signs point to YES!

Amy Rose: [facepalms]

----------------------------------------------------------------

For (C) KatarinaTheCat

(C) SEGA/Sonic Team

#sonic the hedgehog #fan works #OC #katarinathecat #butch the fox #Amy Rose #reference #rough sketch #art trade #seinfeld

[angeltannis]

I gotta say I did not really enjoy Dracula (1931) very much. Apparently one common criticism is that, because it was based on a stage play, it’s a lot of still camera angles of people just walking into the scene and then blabbering on until the scene ends. Not a lot of action. And I definitely agree with that. Lugosi’s Dracula was Fine, but it’s hard for me to believe that this became “the” Dracula interpretation, lol.

Which leads me into talking about Nosferatu (1922). There are only 2 silent films on my watchathon list, and the first one, The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari, I found hard to follow due to the grainy camera and lack of voices to distinguish characters, and just sort of uninteresting overall (due in part to it suffering from the Seinfeld Isn’t Funny trope - its plot points and twists were so influential to horror as a genre that the original, to a modern viewer, feels derivative). So I was hesitant going into the other silent film from that era on my list, Nosferatu.

But I actually LOVED it! I’m a big fan of monstrous vampires as opposed to slick, put-together ones. Orlok was SO creepy and unlike Lugosi’s Dracula, who spends most of his time just standing there like 👁️👁️, this dude was so active and unsettling in his movements. It also had a particularly strong impact because I found myself noting how it was a little strange that they treated Nosferatu’s attacks as an outbreak of plague, featuring so much rat imagery associated with the vampire (including multiple scenes of dozens of rats crawling out of his coffin). Then I remembered that this movie came out in 1922, just two years after the Spanish Flu began to let up, leaving 20-50 million people dead across the world. Of COURSE that made its way into the horror of the era. I could definitely feel for the people who made this movie over a hundred years ago.

Next up I’ll be going back to the Universal Movie Monsters with Frankenstein (1931). Before I decided to go (roughly) in order, I started with The Wolf Man (1941), and i really liked that. Hoping Frankenstein will lean more that direction than Dracula 😝

#horror #the great horror movie watchathon #for me it was like #the fact that they for some reason faded to black any time Dracula was about to do ANYTHING vaguely vampy #like ok I understand not showing him biting people’s necks lol. but fading away before he rises from his coffin every time??? #Nosferatu was a DECADE earlier and it was obvious he was being lifted up by something behind his back lol but damn it they still SHOWED it

[naf-projects]

Just thinking about Bee Larry King from Bee Movie and how that's one of the best fucking meta jokes ever written

Like, yes, on the surface level it's just "celebrity man is same celebrity man in bee world", which is pretty funny, but, like, this is the only celebrity parallel in Bee Movie. There aren't any celebrity parallels in the bee world, it's literally just one example of an actual celebrity from the real world. And it's not even the actual celebrity, it's "Bee Larry King". Not only do they make direct mention of how it's "the bee version" of Larry King, but the fucking name is "Bee Larry King". That's fucking hilarious. The rest of the bees have puns for names, but the Larry King Bee is called fucking Bee Larry King.

And then the fucking Jerry Seinfeld bee acknowledges the existence of the real-world Larry King, which makes somewhat sense because he's been to the real world and might've watched his show, but it's way funnier when you realize Barry is basically Jerry Seinfeld's self-insert, so this is basically what Jerry Seinfeld would be seeing.

Another thing that makes this hysterical is, like, imagine you were a human for a second. You find some mysterious other world made of creatures called, I don't know, Florples. All the Florples have their own unique names based on Florple-based puns. And then there's fucking Florple Andrew Tate. Imagining this in my head is what makes this scene hilarious to me.

There's also the fact that Jerry Seinfeld bee can see the quotes appearing along the bottom while they're showing up, because logic is relative to the funny bee movie.

This movie is dumb as shit

#woke liberal madness #meta #bee movie #meta humor

[thebartleyeffect]

My dad used to absolutely LOVE one of my stories for the punchline that came at the end. I must have told it to him two, maybe three times over the last 15 years and, even though he knew the punch line that was coming, he loved it anyway and would laugh every time like he was hearing it for the first time.

It was a true story, and it happened at lunchtime in Hartford.

Warren, my uncle, sent me down the street one afternoon with a twenty in my hand, telling me: "Go get us a couple'a hot dogs from the hot dog cart."

So I jumped in my old '86 Ford and drove the four blocks down the street from where Warren worked at the time and parked it near the hot dog cart and walked over.

There was some guy in line in front of me already, a salesman I'm guessing, based on his clothes: a London Fog raincoat (It was misting that day) open in the front, revealing his suit underneath.

The guy inside the little hot dog cart looked like an angry Mario from that Mario game: short, with black hair, stocky build, with heavy, black eyebrows like twin strips of Velcro.

He was pushing the spatula around on his griddle, so that the caramelized onions wouldn't burn.

That's when this guy in front of me made the fatal mistake of trying to engage Mario in small talk: "So... think we're gonna see some rain today?"

Mario at this point began to push all of his onions, followed by the red peppers and the meat for the Philly cheese steak grinders off to the edges of the griddle.

Once everything was safely at the edge of the cooking surface and not at risk of burning, he angrily banged his metal spatula against the griddle three times - HARD - to get any remaining food off of it before pushing that to the edges as well and setting the spatula down.

Mario whipped around and his facial expression told us both that he was supremely pissed at being interrupted in the middle of his workday with something so vanishingly unimportant as small talk.

With one hand on his hip and the finger from his other hand pointing at the area above his twin strips of Velcro, he says to the poor bastard in front of me:

"Da FUCK's it look like?!? Like I got a fuggin' WEATHER RADAR in my FOREHEAD?!? How the fuck should *I* know what it's gonna do?!?"

Having settled that question, Mario whipped around and went back to the business of caramelizing his onions and cooking the steak.

The salesman, thoroughly cowed at this point, lowered his gaze to the ground and waited quietly for his order, so as not to further antagonize The Hot Dog Psycho.

When it was my turn to step up, it must have looked like a scene out of Seinfeld's Soup Nazi episode: I respectfully ordered two hot dogs and kept my fucking mouth shut while he went about the business of preparing my lunch.

Pretty sure we stuck to Burger King from that day on.