#this is completely incomprehensible out of context

[ogerpon]

i looked up what people were saying about the ending of ghost trick and this screenshot out of context is killing me

#ghost trick #📢 #i dont even think i can tag this as spoilers because out of context it's completely incomprehensible. #i think i saw this on the tvtropes page about plot holes or unexplained things from this game or something if context is wanted

[itsbenedict]

oh my god okay so it's recursively- the "alternate pasts" are- right, of course, you get the pasts from the tree but the utility is all in the stack. the point in the past of the mizarkhani event, the divergence point, that's the same, it looks like <|<|<|<| and not >|>|>|>|. so that first level, the stack, that's where you get something alternate, until that point everything has to converge on the same point of divergence defining the event, but... wait, no, it's... then what's the point of... how do you harness any of that for calculation? what do the intermediate steps on the ladder contribute, if they all get lanced through with the same thing? is it... something to do with the imperfect copying? do those imperfections somehow encode information from the intermediate calculational pasts? or, when directed, is it all just a matter of... making sure whatever answer-checking mechanic survives to the self-selecting terminus? or...

...i need to finish reading this treatise before i go insane about it prematurely.

#almost nowhere #i just started heading ii of vii #almost nowhere spoilers #but like the kind that are probably completely incomprehensible out of context so don't worry about it

[thegreatyin]

over the course of my gw2 career, some very important things have become increasingly clear to me:

1) bloodstone dust is simultaneously priceless and worthless and you both want hoards upon hoards of it at any given time because you can never have enough but also you should get rid of it whenever you pick it up immediately because it clogs bag space and is absolutely useless

2) literally every single road leads back to running the silverwastes meta. like literally Every Single One. ever. forever.

#started heart of thorns > decided to go on a quick detour to craft mawdrey bc i needed xp to unlock gliding anyway #> ended up dedicating the entire afternoon and night to running around doing an epic worldwide scavenger hunt > #> ended up teaching myself how to craft to make bloodstone bricks which require level 400 artificer #so i spent like 70 gold on materials and speedran the entire crafting profession in one night #and now all i need is bloodstone dust. lots of it. lots and lots and lots of it. #this is no longer a detour. this is a goal in of itself. i cant bring myself to continue the story til i have that plant. #yin-thoughts #guild wars 2 #anyway there's a fun peek into the gaming life of yin for yall. im sure it's incomprehensible and horrifying both with and without context #this is literally nothing in terms of the bad mmo grinding habits ive somehow spontaneously acquired over the past week #did you know WoW gives you a big puppy dog mount if you 100% complete all of dragonflight? i know. #so that's also what ive been spending the precious hours i have left on this earth doing. ur welcome for this arcane knowledge as well #i need to pass out good night

[carneflower13]

how does one go about figuring out the logistics of how a giant evil possibly magical plant monster could live underwater........asking for a friend

#jess speaks #posts that are completely incomprehensible without context #ignore me ignore me just trying to figure out silly writing stuff

[smallnico]

durge desensitizes to casual positive affection and friendship compilation

also known as real feline durge hours. esper's companions look at them and say Is Anyone Gonna Manhandle That Murderous Twink and then not wait for an answer. contexts/explanations under readmore for the curious

lae'zel and esper do morning exercises and meditation together. most of the time they pass the time in silence, but sometimes they're joined by the local wildlife. esper is a great fan of showing their friends things they might find interesting as a form of affection instead of words, especially with lae'zel, since they have a common discomfort with small talk.

esper doesn't like looking at themself in the mirror, so their makeup is always ancient and haphazardly applied, a fact that distresses the more image-conscientious shadowheart. she and esper have a sibling-like relationship fuelled by mutual amnesia and goth solidarity, among other things, but sometimes a sister has to take it upon herself to fix her stinky sibling's wings.

i already expanded on wyll and esper's dynamic a bit in this piece and i didn't feel like drawing the same thing twice, but suffice it to say, they have absolutely no idea how to talk to each other, but still look out for each other. the joke here is about how i've done a couple of long rests in-game with just alcohol i've found. hey 5 camp supplies is 5 camp supplies

jaheira unearths esper's forgotten mother issues. no real things to add here. no thoughts only cub.

gale said way back in act 1 that esper reminded him of tara, and esper isn't leaning into that on purpose per se, but as i said for lae'zel, they like getting their friends things those friends might enjoy. they also love chaos. show your evocation wizard some love by bringing him extremely destructive spells to play with. show your durge some love by casting chain lightning and letting them watch

i have no justification for this one lmao. esper isn't a Huge fan of being picked up and hefted around like a sack of oats, but maybe they should've thought of that before being small and scoop-uppable. socially, esper and halsin don't click especially well, but esper is fundamentally a creature, and therefore pretty easy for halsin to understand. obviously they don't mind that much :J

esper and karlach voted two most touch-starved nerds in faerun, they help each other cope by sleeping in a cuddle pile like cats. karlach runs warm even after getting her engine tuned up, but esper doesn't mind. she's cozy

astarion is by far the person esper is the most verbal with, probably because he's the only one who really thinks the durgeisms that slip out are funny and #relatable. everyone else errs on the side of caution with esper, but astarion knows he's allowed to take liberties with them, and he does. they have the same sense of humour. these two freaks are completely insufferable together because they're vibing so hard on a level incomprehensible to everyone around them, but astarion can put a stop to esper's self-destructive internal stress engine, and esper can drag him into helping and working hard. the others have no choice but to tolerate them as a couple because no matter how unhinged they are as a unit, they're so much worse for society on the whole as individuals. do not separate them

if you read all this, hope you enjoyed this illumination of esper's party dynamics, i love you <3 enjoy

#smallnico art #baldur's gate 3 #the dark urge #bg3 #bg3 dark urge #bg3 lae'zel #bg3 shadowheart #bg3 wyll #bg3 jaheira #bg3 gale #bg3 halsin #bg3 karlach #bg3 astarion #bg3 companions #esper #smallnioc #bg3 comic #durgeposting

[ddarker-dreams]

Would hwr reader be the cool wine aunt? (I can see her accidentally getting drunk off wine thinking it was grape juice or non alcoholic, then chrollo having to supervise her the whole night lol)

anon ... are you a secret telepath because i've considered so many variations of this exact scenario.

for some context on HWR reader's abysmal alcohol tolerance — certain bloodlines from her home country hailed from the dark continent. they could temporarily boost their abilities, whether it be the five senses, strength, or speed, at the cost of enduring excruciating pain once the burst ends. a peculiar side effect owing to this constitution is that those who possess it are extremely sensitive to psychoactive substances. so, understandably, she takes great care in avoiding anything that could land her in a precarious position.

the common language in hxh isn't her native tongue, so if a word or term is obscure enough, all bets are off. for instance, in the earlier days when she just joined the troupe, paku once offered her a nightcap. HWR reader accepted. imagine her confusion when she was presented with a drink. it didn't look like any hat she'd seen before. the troupe greatly perplexed her at first.

the scenario you proposed has definitely happened before. here's the basic rundown:

her and chrollo were staking out an event under the pretense of being guests. a wandering waiter offered her a drink from his tray. it wasn't held in a champagne chute, martini glass, or the like, there was no indication to the beverage's true nature. she inquired over the ingredients. the waiter listed off what made up the concoction. the name of the hard liquor went over her head, it was the lovechild of a recent startup the event's owner had invested in to 'diversify his investment portfolio.'

it lacked the bitter tang commonly associated with alcohol. it was slightly sweet with a tarte aftertaste.

whilst sipping away and fraternizing with the other attendees, chrollo reappeared. he'd been piecing together a mental blueprint of the estate for later use. he easily integrated back into the social scene, almost as if he'd never left in the first place. before he'd even reentered the grand reception area, he'd caught onto a fluctuation in HWR reader's impeccable aura. while not an outright cause for alarm, he found it odd.

(some not SFW beneath the cut)

although he hid it well, he was genuinely surprised to see his normally abstinent lover indulging herself. she was critiquing the research of two gentlemen who had been not so subtly flaunting their game-changing findings the entire evening. the men appeared scandalized as she pointed out inconsistencies in their data and the like. he swooped in only when it became evident the men were about to raise a fuss, smoothly excusing him and his increasingly irate date.

he could roughly guess how this predicament came to be. he explained to her in a low and steady voice that this drink actually has a high alcohol concentration. it took a moment for her impaired cognition to catch up with his words. when the realization hit, however, she was not enthused.

by the time they'd made it back to their 'borrowed' vehicle, her legs were unsteady. there was a thin glaze over her eyes, like she was only half-present. on the drive back to the hotel, she'd randomly continue her earlier critique in an incomprehensive murmur. he never knew poorly falsified data was such an unforgivable slight in her eyes.

chrollo was growing increasingly intrigued by this unfiltered version of his otherwise prim and proper girlfriend. did he feel bad that she ended up in this position? kinda, but he wouldn't let anything happen to her. or, to be more precise, let anything happen to the civilians in the immediate area. not out of compassion, mind you, but for convenience's sake. he's trying to maintain a low profile in this area until the heist's completion. a dangerous, sword-wielding woman capable of wiping out an entire town's population should she see fit would be counteractive to this goal.

he dutifully keeps an eye on her in their suite. she vacillates between forgetting he's there or eagerly engaging him in a wide array of topics. everything from the separation of church and state to 'if he really likes her.' at this point, she'd shrugged off her outer garments (with his assistance), the heat of inebriation unbearable. chrollo had been exercising every modicum of self-control in his body as she crawled into his lap, perching herself there like it was her throne. her fingers, free from her usual gloves, brushing along the various grooves of his face.

"pretty," she hums. her blissed out expression, breathy voice, and the pressure of her body against his crotch makes him strain to behave himself. "my pretty boy."

he's grateful that she isn't lucid enough to note the rosy blush that spreads over his cheeks at this unexpected praise.

in a languid motion, her arms wrap around his neck. she embraces him tight enough that he can feel the soft swell of her chest, threatening to spill out from its restraints. she plays with the ends of his hair, humming a melody unknown to him, perfectly content. he allows himself some indulgence — his hands settle on either side of her hips. to help steady her, he tells himself. for such a proficient liar, this excuse is admittedly pathetic.

"boss."

"hm?"

"i have a secret," she whispers. this piques his curiosity, overriding his previous sentiments to respect her privacy. selfishly, he hopes she doesn't remember this come morning. otherwise, he'll be in for an earful...

"oh?" he goads her on. "and what would that be?"

(goodbye plausible deniability).

her lips brush against his outer ear and he shivers.

"i've fallen in love with someone."

his breath hitches in his throat. he ceases his previous ministrations of rubbing circles into her skin. despite enjoying three years of sex, heists, and frequent companionship, those infamous three words have yet to be uttered. they've made it evident that they're exclusive, but that's about it. neither of them have delved into the nitty and gritty of whatever their relationship truly means.

momentarily, he forgets how to weave elaborate webs that ensnare his victims right where he wants them. all eloquence and posturing melts away. what little of him that leaves remaining utters his next two words, not the persona whose charisma could rival a manipulator's hatsu.

"with who?"

the raw, guttural urgency he speaks this inquiry with is foreign to his ears. he wonders what he'd do should she profess devotion for another. would he have what it takes to respect her choice? it's a silly question; of course he wouldn't, not past a chilling smile that doesn't reach his eyes.

alas, this hypothetical is put to rest. its his name that she speaks. the accent she tries suppressing sneaks out, curling around each slowly enunciated syllable. after what feels like an eternity, he relaxes, sinking back into the plush couch.

"don't tell him," there's a threatening edge to her voice.

chuckling softly, he hugs her tighter.

"i won't."

#chrollo x reader #not sfw #hell within reach #this ended up getting longer than i expected GJSKDFL #answered #Anonymous

[ianthe-is-a-bitch-and-i-love-her]

I've noticed something very interesting about the structure of The Locked Tomb series recently, in that it is a series that is immeasurably more than the sum of its parts. Not that that's an uncommon thing for serialized media, it's literally the point of the format to tell a deeper story as a whole than is told in any one installment, but I think tlt is a particularly extreme example.

Like, gtn is the only book in the series that works at all as a standalone story. In most series, if you skip a book, you'll be confused about specifics and backstories and what have you, but you'll probably be able to follow along and get the gist of the theming, even if you miss some details and subtleties.

With this series, though, the subsequent books (especially HtN but also NtN) are essentially incomprehensible if you've skipped the previous books. They don't follow a predictable trajectory from the previous books that can be back-extrapolated from their stand alone contents. Like, genuinely try to imagine what you would think the previous books must have been about if you just read Nona. Imagine what you'd think the themes were. It's completely out of wack.

This is because each new book in the series isn't just a continuation of the previous books - it is in dialogue with the previous books. Each new book is a commentary on what came before, a reinterpretation that forces you to rethink or even reread the previous books with a different perspective that draws more layers of meaning to the surface. It makes the series feel like a knot that you're slowly unpicking - each new thread that is revealed to you changes how you perceive the weave of the previous threads.

I fucking love this. It makes the series incredibly rereadable, and it rewards spending a lot of time contemplating and theorizing about what you've read, which is excellent because the books are written in such a way that they invite you to ask questions without giving you answers. It make you feel ecstatic when you achieve a new level of understanding of a story you had thought you already understood.

There's a drawback to this, though, in that it makes the first read-through of a new book in the series the worst read-through. Again, HtN is infamous for this, verging on incomprehensible on a first pass but bristling with rich meaning and evocative prose on a second, but it's a trait that applies to all three books released so far. On a first read, lacking the context of the later series, GtN's story feels straightforward, sometimes juvenile, full of relatively simple but evocative characters, and burdened with what seems to be needlessly obtuse and obscure worldbuilding that only exists to slow down the reader's attempts to solve the murder mystery and to act as a backdrop to be cut through by Gideon's harshly modern and irreverent quips. (Sidenote, but as much as that is a thing that a lot of the fandom really enjoys, I know a few people who found that choice extremely jarring and unpleasant. It is a polarizing structural choice, it just doesn't seem like it because people who don't like it don't often stick with the series long enough to get invested in the deeper themes and plot of the series).

NtN too follows this format, although we don't yet have the added context of it's sequel, so a lot of what it has to say remains maddeningly out of reach. It certainly enriches rereads of the previous books, though; a lot of people have gone into great detail about how Nona's perspective on Kiriona reframes our perception of Gideon as a narrator. And John's accounting of the end of the world and the Resurrection adds so many more layers to all the interactions we witness in HtN.

It's just a very unique way to build a story, to start with something fairly simple and self-contained and then spend the next two books layering more and more meaning on those events. For me, it's not the characters (much as I love them) but the structure of the series that keeps me so fucking obsessed with these books.

#the locked tomb #tlt #gideon the ninth #harrow the ninth #nona the ninth #nona spoilers

[frnkir]

silly lab rats / mighty med headcanons!!

adam seems like the type of guy to say ‘lmao’ out loud like “L-M-A-O” when he hears something funny

he definitely also says "YOLO" unironically

chase and adam used to race each other up the rock wall in the lab when they were kids, and whoever got to the top first would get first dibs on the xbox

whenever bree gets into a heated rant she starts talking so fast that she ends up being completely incomprehensible. and when she's done with the rant, she'll say, "well, thanks for listening," and chase or adam or leo (or whoever) will just awkwardly nod because they have no idea what she said lmao

adam is inexplicably good at making balloon animals: from a dog to a snail to a phoenix, he can do it all. no one knows how or why, but he just says it's one of his bionic abilities lol

kaz really loves the sound those springy doorstoppers make and always checks behind doors to see if there's one there, and if there is, he'll tap it with his foot and laugh as it goes boioioioioioioioioioioioioioioing (he's very easily amused)

chase was probably too busy with missions and stuff to join a school club in canon but i bet he would've KILLED IT on the high school debate team

jordan would love the bands war on women and destroy boys

bree and leo loved to gossip with each other about their classmates when they were in school

i think skylar would like yoga, it would be a fun hobby for her, especially since she’s so flexible

kaz laughs out loud every time someone says the word "balls" in any context

oliver has a stuffed penguin plushie (he’s had it since he was a kid) on his bed because it helps him fall asleep easier

idk if he would have a name for it or not but if he did it would probably be something boring like “mr. penguin”

bree and leo bond over watching reality tv shows together

skylar and bree go on a run together every morning (not in a competitive way lol but just so they can spend time together)

leo likes to paint his nails fun colors like purple or green

that’s all :) thank you for reading my little thoughts <3

#they are so silly #lab rats #lab rats: elite force #lref #chase davenport #bree davenport #adam davenport #leo dooley #oliver lref #kaz lref #mighty med #headcanons #skylar storm #skylar lref #sorry if these are inaccurate i’ve been avoiding rewatching elite force

[unforth]

I've debated multiple times doing something like cataloging racist microaggressions I see in the danmei tags and making a post about it. I generally see at least one a day, and I block the worst offenders. But in the end I'm a white USAdian and it's really not my place. I'm sure I don't even catch them all.

It's a real issue and I've seen a lot of anecdotal evidence that it drives Chinese and Chinese diaspora fans out of participating in Westernized Tumblr danmei fandom, and that's utterly unacceptable.

One of the most common ones I see is how people talk about the character names. For example:

[Image ID: screen cap of a text post. It reads: "This all came about when I was looking at SVSSS memes on Ao3 and went like "My friends nor coworkers would get heads or tails of what in the world these alphabet smash assortment mean let alone know that they're referencing Soecific individuals or novels." End ID]

THIS IS A MICROAGGRESSION. For fuck's sake, people, acting like the names are ridiculous, incomprehensible, outside of what "friends and colleagues" could comprehend, is RACIST AS FUCK. And I see people say stuff like this constantly.

"But I only meant I was struggling--" THEN WHY DID YOU ASSUME OTHER PEOPLE WOULD STRUGGLE THE SAME WAY? STILL RACIST

"But I could say that about the abbreviations in any--" BUT YOU SAID IT ABOUT THIS FANDOM SPECIFICALLY AND CONTEXT FUCKING MATTERS AND IN THIS CONTEXT IT'S RACIST.

"But it was on my personal blo--" LOOK IF YOU WANT TO BE RACIST ON YOUR PERSONAL BLOG I CAN'T STOP YOU BUT IF YOU TAG ORIGINAL POSTS INTO MAIN FANDOM TAGS THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE WILL SEE YOU AND KNOW YOU ARE RACIST.

The person who posted the above, when I said it was a microaggression, demanded to know how. So, for them and everyone else in this fucking fandoms, I present what any of them could have learned by googling the term. The definition of microaggression:

(Source)

[Image ID: a dictionary entry for the term "microaggression." It reads: "noun. A comment or action that subtle and often unconsciously or unintentionally expresses a prejudiced attitude toward a member if a marginalized group (such as a racial minority)." End ID]

What that screen cap says about names is literally the textbook definition of a microaggression.

Chinese names are just names. The way Chinese sounds is just the way a language sounds. Cultivation is inherently based in Eastern culture and cannot be completely divorced from that context even for a cute AU. I'm so tired of seeing posts saying things like "MXTX just stole the plot of (insert Western myth/folktale/fable here)". Do yall realize how fucking racist you're being? Do yall realize how fucking racist even I've probably been by accident because I'm also a dumb white USAdian?

I've been holding this post in for like a year, but the person who posted that screen cap, who doubled-down by posting a non-apology to all the MXTX main tags, and who acted like I'd said something insane when I told them it was a microaggression...they're apparently my last fucking straw.

DO BETTER, WHITE WESTERN DANMEI FANDOM. We all need to learn and listen and knock it the fuck off already. Me included.

Please, please listen when people say "check yourself." Seeing this stuff everyday is exhausting even for ME and I'm not even in the marginalized group. Chinese people (including diaspora) who stay in the fandom here despite the constant deluge are strong as fuck and they do not deserve this and, as a white person, I'm so so sorry white people are like this.

#unforth rambles #drama #i should not post this #i dont want the drama #but ive seen so many posts by chinese fans ignored #maybe theyll listen to a white person which of course listening to me and not them is itself another fucking microaggression #god im so sorry #ive been debating tagging the fandoms but i dont think i can face the potential consequences #im so tired #but feel free to reblog it i guess

[shanastoryteller]

same anon and I’m just curious—- are you a fan of barnet newman?

(even if you’re not, you write beautifully about it)

mmmmmm fan is probably a strong word, at least it would have been before i wrote the fic. i actually only knew who’s afraid of red, yellow, and blue iii before writing ta'burni, i didn't even know the print in the iron man 2 was a newman before i googled it. i sort of went backwards with this

i thought that scene of tony taking down the art to replace with iron man pop portrait and pepper getting mad would be better if it was metaphorical. so i decided that the art would be something meaningful between pepper and tony and him taking it down to replace was something pepper would see as tony putting iron man before them and everything they've been through together and tony would see it as him accepting that his legacy was going to be iron man and the merchant of death and not any sort of family he could build with pepper because the palladium was going to kill him before he got that chance. and then i googled what the print was and did some research into newman to see what i could make out of this. luckily, it was newman, so he lends himself to the sort of metaphor i needed rather well. and then i didn't even include that scene in the fic rip

that being said, i do like his work a lot, and i like what he was trying to do and what he was trying to say and how that expressed itself in his pieces. i think a lot of modern/abstract art is context reliant and now that i have context i am a fan

i'm probably about to make an ass of myself here, because i really have zero qualifications to have any opinions about art besides that occasionally i like to look at it. i haven't even taken an art history course

i think a huge barrier to people being able to really appreciate modern art is that society is heavily reliant on self contained art and it's the kind pretty much everyone has experience with. with books and movies and music, they are designed to stand on their own. context never hurts, and can add, but the understanding and enjoyment of these mediums should not be context dependent. if they are, then these works are considered bad. it's a sign of bad artistry to require context in these mediums

then there's, you know, fields and portraits and depictions of history and myth. context always adds, but you can look at almond blossoms or saturn devouring his son and you see a complete picture. you can appreciate artistry without any understanding of what's being depicted or why and knowing why doesn't even necessarily improve the experience. is almond blossoms a different piece now that i know it was intended for a nursery? to some, maybe, but to most, no.

so you have modern art, abstract art, performance art, ect, and you need context. context is half the piece. sometimes the whole piece. it's like seeing two earthlings without knowing the title and going, yeah, that's a nice painting, and then seeing the title and getting that little oh of connection to a species that's been dead for longer than humanity has been alive. and that's not even abstract art! that's a painting fully capable of standing on it's own merits even without the gut punch of context

portrait of ross in la is incomprehensible without knowing that ross died of aids. unfinished painting (1989) is something you can look at and go, okay, that's a piece of art, but without the context that it's basically a the self portrait of keith haring's life, also cut short by aids, do you really understand the art? is it hitting?

is tableu i anything more than straight lines and crayola color paint if you don't go a little deeper and go, maybe this is the start to every artist's journey, maybe this is every stray thought i corral and put into place and attempt to explain?

i think a lot of people stop at "i don't get it" and then shy away because either they think the art is bad or that they're stupid and they want nothing to do with either. but "i don't get it" should prompt exploration, it should prompt a search for explanation. not only in art, but in life. "i don't get it" in history, art, politics, science should always be the start of a journey, not a destination, but a lot of the most commonly consumed art accidentally trains people to reach "i don't get it" and give up

newman is so earnest with his work that i even if i hated every single one of his lines then i could still not help but love it

i do wish that instead of trying (and miserably failing) to restore who's afraid of red, yellow, and blue iii they had just let it hang, destroyed, all three slashes on prominent display

shakespeare's soliloquies were originally a type of call and response, because back in the day audiences were not as quiet and well behaved as they are today

the audience heckling the actors were no more authors than the guy who vandalized newman's work is an artist

however, that being said

who's afraid of red, yellow, and blue? this massive canvas of mostly red calls out

the response: three long slashes, rage and fury and fear in every one of them

claiming bravery, but proving cowardice

and it would have been better than letting some idiot go over it with a damn paint roller

#i do hate pollack tho #you did not make this earnestly and with love and i cannot imbibe love into it #asks #anon #ta'burni

[hurtmyfavsthanks]

HI!! okay so with the magical euphoria thingy i screamed into my pillow like twenty million times while reading AUDHSHXH /pOS YOUR WRITING IS AUAHDHAHX!!:?:!;!;:!, ANYWAY.

whumpee uses WAY too much magic in a fight. they’re completely giddy, out of it, and have just horrifically defeated something/someone.

looks around and notices that everyone is silent and terrified of what whumpee is capable of, because holy fuck. they did not need to go that far????

meanwhile whumpee thinks they were doing the right thing and, still incredibly excited from winning, runs over to caretaker!! and doesn’t understand why caretaker flinches away from them!! ^_^

sorry for the heinous grammar its like almost midnight rn :(((

(context)

I’m glad you liked my writing! I’m grinning like a fool rn.

And yes!!! Not every battle ends with Whumpee exhausted and ready to collapse. Sometimes they’re still sparking with energy, too deep into the high to realize they’re acting oddly, but not deep enough to be entirely gone. And honestly? For the people who care about them, for the people who are afraid of them, I think that state would be far, far worse. Awake but not quite aware. Unpredictable.

So like, hear me out.

The squadron is returning back to camp after a long day of missions. Their mage is still with them, in both senses of the word. They’re not fallen into total lunacy yet, still conscious and mobile. Whumpee’s bouncing on their toes, head swiveling on their shoulders like an excited puppy. They’re chatting excitedly, near incomprehensibly, at a soldier that made the mistake of getting too close. The soldier can only nod along to the stream of consciousness leaving Whumpee’s lips.

Caretaker is keeping a hold on Whumpee’s arm, making sure they don’t run off. They know Whumpee will be fine after a night’s rest.

It’s a rare moment of calm. They’re sore and exhausted, but the warm pride of a job well done leaves them feeling satisfied. The atmosphere is light as they trudge through the forest. Peaceful, all things considered.

But then Whumpee freezes, body stiffening all at once as something catches their attention. They turn, eyes focusing on something. A flash of enemy colors flicks in their vision–

Whumpee’s moving before Caretaker can react. Light bursts from their hands, illuminating the dark forest, and the squadron freezes on instinct. Whumpee’s attention, fractured and fleeting moments ago, has sharpened into a deadly edge to focus on a single figure.

Whumpee reaches out a single glowing hand, fingers curling as if grabbing something.

Flanked by two petrified guards, hands shackled behind his back, is a single enemy soldier taken as prisoner. His eyes widen as Whumpee’s attention focuses on him, the man’s bruised and exhausted face contorted in terror. His mouth is open in silent, terrified scream.

Just as Caretaker is reaching out to stop them, Whumpee reaches out with an open hand. Their fingers curl inward as if grabbing something. With a sharp movement their hand is pulled back, fingers clenched shut. The prisoner’s body lurches forward in response.

The crackle of energy cracks through the air, and suddenly something red and dripping and squirming is hovering mere feet from the man. He’s never laid eyes on it before, but the emptiness in his chest tells him exact

The human heart, still beating, falls to the forest floor. Its owner falls a moment later.

Silence follows. Fear and shock runs through the squadron, their minds struggling to comprehend what had just unfolded. Some freeze like a deer in the headlights, terrified that moving will bring Whumpee’s wrath. Others are inching their hands towards their belts, looking for a weapon. Others still are simply trembling from shock, suddenly and violently reminded of the danger in their midsts.

The terror that grips Caretaker is different. They’re afraid for Whumpee. Training kicking into overdrive, Caretaker’s eyes dart over the scene, calculating. Assessing the panic, assessing how long they have until fear turns into action.

They know they have to take control of the situation. Caretaker’s footsteps are firm as they approach Whumpee, exuding confidence they don’t feel, and praying it's enough to keep the situation from escalating.

Caretaker places a hand on Whumpee’s shoulder. Whumpee turns to face them, expression blank

“Whumpee,” Caretaker speaks with trained calmness, voice gentle yet firm. Their smile is a weak, trembling thing, doing little to mask their anxiety. The smile Whumpee gives in return is genuine and bright, oblivious. “We need him alive. We’re taking him in for questioning, remember?”

Whumpee doesn’t respond. Their eyes are more clouded than they were a moment before, their sanity strained even further by that display of power. For a long, breathless moment Whumpee simply stares, a vacant smile plastered over their face.

Caretaker keeps their expression calm, but the tension is suffocating them. All they can hear is the gurgling of a dying man.

And then the moment breaks. Whumpee blinks, and awareness flicks back into their eyes. A tittering giggle creeks out from between their teeth.

“Oh! Right, yes. We need that one alive, don’t we?” Whumpee laughs.

The clearing is still as Whumpee all but skips over to the twitching body. They grab the heart from where it dropped.The muscle is still pulsing weakly, spilling blood over Whumpee’s arms. They don’t seem to notice.

Whumpee calls their magic again, the organ vanishing in a flash. In that same instance, the prisoner’s eyes fly open, bloodless lips widening with a desperate gasp. His next inhale comes out as a sob. He curls inward, limbs close to his chest, as if desperate to keep his heart in its place.

Whumpee doesn’t even give the man a second glance. As their would-be victim sobs, broken and terrified, on the ground, Whumpee happily returns to Caretaker’s side. They reach their hand, now coated a deep red, expectantly towards Caretaker. Caretaker holds Whumpee’s hand with a trained smile, and tries not to flinch at the warm wetness.

Caretaker starts walking, not daring to look back. They know the terrified, hateful, dangerous looks they’ll see if they did.

Whumpee doesn’t notice the way Caretaker's grip tightens, or how they’re maneuvered to walk some distance away from the other soldiers.

The rest of the trip is done in silence.

#okay yeah this does deviate slightly from the ask but #close enough in my defense i got excited and ran a tad wild #Love unaware displays of horrifying power!! #Remeber that the person giggiling drunkenly in your party is more than capible of killing you at any moment <3 #magical whumpee #unaware whumper #whumpee turned whumper #delirious whumpee #out of it whumpee #an ask tag #whump #whumpee #caretaker #whumblr #my stuff

[endiness]

for people who actually care about basing their opinion off of all of the information instead of, idk, none or clickbaity article headlines... here is what tomasz baginski said in his interview when it comes to changing things from the books:

There is also the question of the recipient’s sensitivity. I often point this out to others [in the production team], such as how they simplify politics in the plot. We, Poles, see various political events differently because of our history and experiences. We see more nuances. Especially in the context of what is happening beyond our eastern border. We can recognize this gray area where various influences and powers flow. It is more understandable and transparent to us. For example, that this person is good and this one is bad, but also a little good, and here it’s rather gray and we understand why this good hero does some unpleasant things. We catch it in three seconds. I had the same perceptual block when I presented Hardkor 44 [a never-made variation on the Warsaw Uprising] abroad years ago and tried to explain: there was an uprising against Germany, but the Russians were across the river, and on the German side there were also soldiers from Hungary or Ukraine. For Americans, it was completely incomprehensible, too complicated, because they grew up in a different historical context, where everything was arranged: America is always good, the rest are the bad guys. And there are no complications. When a series is made for a huge mass of viewers, with different experiences, from different parts of the world, and a large part of them are Americans, these simplifications not only make sense, they are necessary. It’s painful for us, and for me too, but the higher level of nuance and complexity will have a smaller range, it won’t reach people. Sometimes it may go too far, but we have to make these decisions and accept them.

and here is the thing he said about tiktok in an interview over a year ago when talking about s2 because for some reason we're bringing this up:

BAGINSKI: I see the fastening of the processes Jacek Dukaj wrote about in his book – "Po piśmie" ("After the script"). We resign from cause-and-effect chains, from the linear narration. This book-like narration. When it comes to shows, the younger the public is, the logic of the plot is less significant.

INTERVIEWER: What is significant, then?

BAGINSKI: Just pure emotions. A bare emotional mix. Those people grow up on TikTok, Youtube, they jump from a video to video...

INTERVIEWER: You're talking to such person.

BAGINSKI: So, it's time to be serious: Dear children, what you do to yourself makes you less resilient for longer content, for long and complicated chains of cause an effect.

INTERVIEWER: You're talking about something else that's hidden between your words. What you mean is that you don't know how to make a show kids'd like to watch.

BAGINSKI: Generally, I try to know what people react to and like to watch. Long and complex narratives will remain, it'll be like a classic shelf in a bookstore. People will still read that, it will be popular at some point. But the edge of the mass audience is moving a bit into the a less linear narration, less cohesive one. I think it's inevitable. As reading is not natural for the human brain.

INTERVIEWER: Yep, you gotta learn it, it's hard.

BAGINSKI: Oh, in this sense, yes. You need a lot of effort to learn to recognise all these symbols. You probably don't remember that. If you're a genius, you read when you're 3. It's some big effort for your brain, moreover, it's not natural. The things we receive with our heads... There's nothing literary there. We have to learn literature. Learn to receive it and write it. It's like mathematics, a lot of abstract symbols you have to learn to recognise. People who understand it will remain, the people who work on narration, they have to work on texts. But, more and more people won't need it. Why write if I can record or say it? Why write if I can receive emotions in a different way. It's a controversial thesis. When Dukaj published it, there was a lot of arguments like: "But I still read! My friends, too!" However, we talk about trends in a scale.

INTERVIEWER: Yeah, it's not about you or your friend.

BAGINSKI: We talk about global trends. The success of TikTok wouldn't be possible without that. It's happening. It's just easier to watch and click, watch another one, than read a book and follow all those twists and plots. We'll see how it goes. I think The Witcher is safe for now, there are still a few more years... Maybe it's because of the generation.

in either case, it’s pretty obvious he’s not blaming ~*~the fans~*~ for the changes the show made to the books but talking about how american/western media is made and younger audiences who grew up on social media in general.

#the witcher #tomasz baginski #tomek baginski #!txt: the witcher

[piplicious]

Dip Week Day 3!!!

Hello I wrote a little something based on a conversation I had with @/pipcorn. But I have like no experience as a writer!!! So you have to be nice to me. + theres a drawing inside :3

Word count: 1366 words

Ship: Damien x Pip

Warnings: none whatsoever

Summary: it's Damien's Birthday and everything is on fire.

"By the power of all unholy and evil I command --all the mortals come to my birthday party!!!"

Despite the very clear and easy to understand demand of his highness son of Satan, no one was there. Creatures of darkness were present, of course, but that was about it. The little black demon beings were all sat at a special table, reserved specifically for them, with all the appropriate evil meals served and ready. But what about Damien's other friends (or so he'd like to think of them)? Did he not manage to make everyone in class like him by being a little asshole?

Unfortunately, Hell was going through a bit of a financial crisis, and some unplanned budget cuts had to be made. Instead of a big fancy banquet Damien had to make do with a regular size birthday party. Well, it was a bit below regular, you can't underestimate the impact inflation and excessive risk taking by systemically important financial institutions have on otherworldly dimentions. Obviously.

As a result, materialistic humans didn't really feel like attending such an underwhelming event.

"AAARGH"

The AAARGH didn't help. So strange! At least one boy should've come. One very specific little lad! And a very important one, too, but shush about that.

And yet no one was there. The party had started whole 5 minutes ago after all! Could it be… that maybe the invintations got lost? Well, no, because then Pip surely would've come. Damien made sure to personally disturb the signal in the 500 meters radius area by shooting his rubber duck-like voice all the way to Pip over the phone exactly 5 times. One time -- a month before the birthday, so that the blond has enough time to prepare the presents. Then a week before the celebration -- enough time for Pip to make sure to cancel all the plans for the special day. Then one day before the birthday - in the morning and in the evening. And don't forget the mandatory 5 AM call.

And so, utterly dissapointed, the grumpy lump of rage continued pouting even harder than usual. I'd like to say that his hope for humanity was completely gone by that time (6 minutes past the official beginning of the party), but let's be honest, it's South Park, why would it ever be there in the first place.

"Happy Birthday, son. Today is a beautiful day and you're only 9 years away from the day I tell you the truth about how you were made."

"Dad. WHE--??"

"I know, I know what you want to say, I see that half of the room is on fire already. But first I have a very important gift for you."

"DAAAAAA--"

…!

And there, a sudden strike of silence hit the room. Damien's instincts freezed and crashed! The "gift" that loomed out of the hallway made him unsure whether to hiss or wag his tail. Or both?

"G-good morning, Damien! I'm here to wish you a very happy birthday and hopefully entertain you for the duration of my stay here…! Hope you didn't… miss me?"

The little british boy that just came in already managed to pick up that something about Damien's reaction was off, as the later made incomprehensible noises and it was hard to read what exactly he was feeling at the moment. It would seem illogical, as Pip was the exact person lacking at the event, and yet the way he appeared rubbed the demon in a wrong way.

"Are you… mad at me? Ohh… I see… No one has come to your party? No worries!!! I understand how you feel, sogga, no one attends my celebratio--"

"Why are you wearing that!!!"

"Oh it's a clown outfit, your father asked me to--"

"DAD?????"

And so Satan had to step into the conversation between the fourthgraders. What an interesting sentence out of context!

"You see, due to the financial situation we couldn't afford a professional entertainer, and dead soul tortures are already reserved for when you get good grades, so I figured getting your buddy to pretend to be a clown for your birthday would be good enough."

"I DON'T WANT HIM TO BE A CLOWN!"

"But why?"

Giving absolutely no answer, the hissy boy left the room and it almost seemed like he had a little tear in his eye. And so, Pip, Satan, and a hoard of unholy creatures whatever they are, were left astounded in a room with more fire in it than food or tables.

What a confusing situation! But of course giving up would mean missing the chance to save your lo-- your friend's important day, right? That's not a very caring behavior. Pip would not want to leave Damien behind, no. It takes some thick gloves and a lot of bravery to deal with wild kittens like that. And a heart big enough to give them all the space they need to not feel intimidated anymore.

"There, there."

Pip sat near the curled up demon, petting his back and waiting for him to cool down and relax his eyebrows at least a bit. And boy did he take his sweet time cooling down, this is not your average tray of freshly baked brownies.

"I-I don't want to rush you or anything, but could I perhaps get a hint about why you're mad at me?"

Nope. Not happening.

"It appears I have to try guessing myself… Do you want me to leave?"

Damien shook his head. Somehow everything became even more confusing.

"Are you… afraid of clowns?"

Not that either.

"I don't know what else it could be then…"

"…I wanted you to come because you want to. Not because you have to."

The boy who for some reason had to remind Pip about his birthday 5 times looked away in embarassment. Could it be that there was actually some kind of thought process happening behind those eyes? It seemed that this time his friends' intentions actually mattered to him and it wasn't just about seeming cool in front of the elite of the class. Pip was nice sincerely and it made a big difference! If he came willingly it would be clear what he came for. Damien's smile or something gay like that.

"…How much did he pay you?"

"For what?"

"For you to come."

"Oh good golly i'm going to get paid?"

The utter confusion in blonde's eyes eventually cleared up all the doubts in Damien's mind.

"No."

"Oh alrighties."

"I think I understand. Only a brit would willingly attend a party where the only food being served is unholy goop and satanic porridge."

"It's not that, Damien, I just--"

Pip started fidgeting awkwardly with the fabric of his clothes like a shy anime girl. Unusual, since most of the time when he liked someone it was extremely visible to everyone around. Well, it was, it very much was visible this time either but somehow not to Damien.

"You see, back when I was born as a little baby in a small town of--"

"Shorter."

"I have feelings for you."

"Oh. Wait what. Wait. That's gay."

"Indeed it is, Damien. I understand if you want me to leave even harder than before now, I--"

Instead of jokingly utilizing the diverse pallete of homophobic slurs in English language the demon boy's eyes immediately brightened up. He didn't exactly know why yet, but it actually… cheered him up? His buddy was actually more than just a buddy! They could spend so much time together like those two yaois from their class! Now the hard part is actually somehow returning feelings and admitting the same thing. Oh Go-- Oh man it sure is more embarassing than he thought… But it must be oh so worth it!!!

The poor British thing just sat there waiting for any even remotely coherent answer. His anxiety was only soothed by the fact that the fire in the house began slowly extinguishing, which probably meant that Damien wasn't angry with him. Fortunately he didn't need to wait too long.

"You're my boyfriend now."

"Okay."

There. The hardest part is now behind, time to jump straight to the part that has handholding and fun dates in it.

***

#DipWeek2023 #pip pirrup #sp pip #sp pip pirrup #south park pip #south park pip pirrup #damien thorn #sp damien #sp damien thorn #south park damien thorn #south park damien #south park #sp dip #dip sp #south park dip #damien x pip

[its-elvie-innit]

realizing duolingo is NOT HELPFUL if you don't have a background in languages is so annoying because it was helpful Years Ago they just changed it so it's bad now. I took french for four years, and it's a romantic language so learning Portuguese which is in the same branch makes duo a pretty useful tool because I can point to "um" and "uma" and go ah yeah that's like le and la, and they're letting me know the genders by teaching me man and woman as the first words. But I WOULDNT HAVE KNOWN THAT if I didn't ALREADY HAVE BACKGROUND in a SEPARATE SIMILAR LANGUAGE and also duolingo is SHIT AT TEACHING ME FRENCH because I don't have ADVANCED BACKGROUND IN FRENCH THAT IS WHAT I'M TRYING TO USE DUO FOR, ACTUALLY.

Honestly I'm not even fully using duolingo for my Portuguese information it's literally just a memorization tool to get you introduced to certain verbs. You literally CANNOT understand anything without prior knowledge, so I am half note-taking, half verb tabling, and 0.1% cramming duo lessons for that memorization boost. Duolingo used to have a well of information not even hosted by the application, but instead was manually written by its millions of users to help others understand word contexts, and it was free!!!! Duo didn't have to pay shit for it!!!!! But instead they chose to throw away MILLIONS of comments and discussion links to reduce their shit server costs because bill whatever-the-fuck his name was decided he hates learning actually and fuck all your good information I need two extra dollars to afford a snickers bar in the downstairs vending machine. Look at my terrible owl tiktoks.

And I DOUBLE know this because I was learning hiragana in 2019 and I still remember how to sound out at least a few letters because I only got a couple months in, and they had at least a few good tools to help you understand process and learn the content, but then this week I decided I'd like to learn Korean so I started with the basic course and I can tell you right now it might possibly be one of the WORST english phonetic representations of the language sounds I've ever read. Just a little under half, maybe, of duos spelling work for the Hangul letters are completely incomprehensible because of the completely avoidable letter duplication for different sounds. I'll give you an example:

Do you want to know how these letters are pronounced? Here's your hint; both sound suspiciously like tah.

For an app that's supposed to be pretty accessible, I would think that spelling the phonetics right would be pretty high up on your list!!!! And yes, I'm very familiar with the very hard t-sounding "d" sound of some eastern European languages, but I am being so serious when I say whoever pronounced these recordings just said "tah" and "ta"!!! It is EXTREMELY hard to differentiate certain sounds, but the thing is these are not the worst offenders. Actually, the Hangul lessons? Yeah, not the letter system on the side? Those are worse.

These two characters are done in such a robotic sounding way that the only way you can differentiate the sounds is by carefully, CAREFULLY listening to whether the robot (?) does the tongue flick that causes the rolling r at the very beginning of the recording. Otherwise, it's SUPER hard. I would expect you don't mischaracterize the sounds but hey apparently getting a voice actor for character sounds is really hard. I guess. Hey, let me try look this up on YouTube actually. Oh, but for that I would have to download a whole other app to properly write out the words because none of my other apps have a manual writing system and I AM USING DUO TO LEARN THE WORDS. this should be ON THERE.

Not to mention this character, where the robot JUST says T. It says "tuo". The one that it represents? Deo. I would even call it an Italian passing accent. It's stupid.

This problem is occurring in multiple languages, I'm just pointing it out in Korean because it's so all over the place. There's a character representing "kye" that is just. Straight up a ch sound. That's all fine and dandy but there's another character, spelled with a different letter that represents a CH sound too and it's NOT k. It's all over the place!!!!

In my Portuguese lessons, I can say "homem" all I want and it's still not going to give it to me ever because the robot pronounces it wrong. It's the FIRST word you learn in pr lessons, and you have to pronounce it with an H sound HEAVILY. The robot doesn't do that, but it's the only way duo accepts it during speaking lessons when it picks up other soft sounds just fine. I only know this through trial and error. It does NOT tell you.

The only way I learn anything is through my note taking and it's so so sad because duo really used to be good. But taking french, a language I really love, is a pain because at least once a lesson segment, if not twice I will get a word that I don't know and have never been taught, that has never popped up before, in, like, a picture activity where it shows you an image and you have to interpret the right words, so you can't click and check what it means. And every time I'll report that I've never learned the word, but its not like it teaches me or anything after I've reported it, and you don't get to know what the word means until you get the question right so you might lose all your hearts in a lesson just for nothing, if you end up choosing the wrong option too many times. It's so unenjoyable.

It's not like duo can't be good, it can. It's a fun app! But you don't learn any languages past the first couple of words, without any grammar or base knowledge to start you off. It makes me frustrated knowing that the options available to me are limited bases on the sentence structure I'm already familiar with.

#duolingo #language #check the notes #french #Portuguese #korean #hangul

[kicktwine]

heard sprawl and came running any random tidbits you feel like sharing? 🎤

INCREDIBLY FAST KAYATASH JUMPSCARE—

hi. Hello. She is always on the back of my mind. I can never keep track of what I have and have not shared but I have been thinking about the foretellers lately. And how they’re basically fated to be not quite good enough for their god, except for Ava, who is gods favorite, and luxu who is gods least favorite child. HSVDJFBSJ let me— context. Structure. These are important.

ok I came back in the morning. SFTKJGKS.

I have been trying to think about Luxu and how exactly he fits and what his motivations are. Because it’s important 2 ME that he parallels Ven’s role in the story in a foilish way. Also it’s integral to the rest of the story so not having it figured out is somewhat of a roadblock. Ven’s almost completely passive, things happen to him and he takes a long time to be confident enough to try to do something for himself because every time he does that it goes badly. Luxu is so active that every time something goes wrong he has to know why. He has to have his fingers in every puzzle even when what he’s supposed to do is wait. Ven doesn’t want to be Unity’s liaison at all and Luxu wants to be him so bad it makes him look stupid. So I think that like. The timeline of such events. Goes

baby Luxu literally the best in the program, top of his class good boy catholic schoolboy

tries speaking to the Divine Unity and gets SOOO sick. Cannot do it. His body just won’t let him. Effectively locks him out of progressing any further, even as his yearmates become foretellers

why do bad things HAPPEN to good PEOPLE. why does god hate me. I’ll just go ask the other one (maybe the other half of god does not hate me)

rescinds his discipleship, now determined to find and commune with the Divine Organization

this is harder than it sounds

but also easier than it sounds when, through means of minor major crime, you befriend the Candidate’s son and next in line for the seat. junior thinks he’s funny and also strangely good at crime

many years pass

rat man xigbar (silly) evolves from schoolboy luxu

finally make it up to number two in the order, given a ton of clearance. Not enough clearance, but can do crimes to get it

finds out

the other half of God has been dead for more than a thousand years

dead this whole time. Cannot speak to you

now what.

rat man becomes incredibly mad and very cynical BUT. TWO things. 1) now questioning everything the city-state has said over the past thousand years as not of the divine and 2) discovers within the repetitions of code Organization uses to keep its other half occupied notes from the original writer and decoder. This man could speak to the Divine. A direct connection and tons of notes This man probably has wisdom for him.

the wisdom ends up being that the two gods Must be reunited or any and all religious significance is worthless - they have yearned for each other for thousands of years and will not fulfill their purposes until whole again. any words that come from a half-formed being are not of the Divine

vindication! Also uh oh.

is this true? Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

mmmmmmm………….

crusade to by any means necessary steer the wheel of fate in the direction of salvation

rat man FULLY FORMED

dandelions fall into his lap — well like. One of them. One of them that has the means to bypass the Divine Unity’s aura of control (HE NEEDS THAT)

the rest of them that r still alive skitter off. we will come back to that

after some attempts, even with a means to ignore its choir he still can’t TALK to it. The language is incomprehensible and he still gets soooo sick (this is not unusual it happens to people quite a lot, it just shouldn’t happen to HIM, he who tries so hard)

needs a boy. most guys with the power to do that are safe and secure inside the Divine Itself

except this little guy who is somehow still alive

sends one of his guys to get the boy

terrible timing apparently boy had just been through a major loss and the boys catfight each other to THE DEATH

DARN IT

oh wait boys are still alive. Traveling with some other guys

Raccoon rubbing hands together dot gif

and the rest of that is like, plot fruition. ANDBDK NONE OF THAT IS PROSE THAT ALL IS. KINDA BACKSTORY but that’s what he’s up to. You know what the other foretellers are up to. Peacefully running a city

Ava: Divine Candidate. Sits in a room for a looooooong time.

Invi: works with Gula on the disciples, also manages the resonant chamber. divine mediation things

Gula: trade and gardens, also the disciples sometimes if he gets around to it. Often leaves the city to make trade deals and negotiate with Scala’s Erudition

Aced: pilot training and security mostly

Ira: like. The president? Oversees and runs everything

meanwhile their old classmate is out here with a sniper rifle and a plan to kill God. calm down man

And, Meanwhile, ven is having the opposite character arc of

Divine’s Favorite Boy

Turns out being the divine’s favorite boy is not a good thing for me

…plot occurs…. Many things happen…

hey what do you want, thing that might be a god and might not

it’s just kinda lonely.

oh

maybe we can be friends

#I am using you to help me figure this out yes. Yeah thank you actually it really helped my outline— #sprawl au #ask #kayatash #This ended up way longer because I started figuring the plot conceit out as i was talking to you #so thanks— AFIGLFWHLGX #also thank u david for giving xigbar catholic guilt. moms ghost is always here to make things worse

[walkawaytall]

A dramatization of an email exchange for one of my classes

(screenshots of my actual email minus the snark are farther down. You’ll need to look at the full-sized image for full context.)

Me: **submits paper that’s certainly not the best thing I’ve ever written but at least addresses each topic mentioned in the rubric**

Professor who has been driving me insane all semester because I cannot figure out what is being asked for in a class that, and I cannot emphasize this enough, is basically centered around stuff I do all day, every day at my job: I think you missed this entire section, so you’ll get a C on this assignment.

Me: hi, I did address that issue in the first paragraph and even cited a reference. I understand I didn’t go into great detail, but this is a 1-2 page paper and, frankly, everything we learn here is surface-level at best, so my expectation was that I’d at least get partial credit for touching on the subject. However, in case I completely misunderstood, could you let me know what you were looking for that I missed entirely? Or are you going to continue to do what you’ve repeatedly done this semester, and not actually answer any questions about my alleged knowledge gaps, and instead give vague, borderline incomprehensible responses to my questions?

Professor: I see that that sentence exists, but it doesn’t really say anything. However, since you want to “call it out” in this private email you sent me, I’ll give you points. Not full marks, but you’ll get a B+ on the paper instead of a C.

I am not saying I deserve full marks on this assignment, by the way. I don’t at all. But this isn’t the first interaction I’ve had where I’m like, “I clearly misunderstood something. Can you please clarify what was being asked for?” and received a response that doesn’t really answer that question.

#it me #school #I am so close to graduating #and this class is almost over #just toughing it out for a few more months #but thankfully this class is done next week