#this is only funny to me! post and send!!!

[luceafarul-de-dimineata]

Hi, I apologize if I'm being annoying but I love your shipping au and I was thinking of something and wanted to tell you

What if once the shipp that is most trending is MC x the worst possible noble of that country. Like, people notice mc has a lot of chemistry with glasya or bimet and instead of a king there is now a whole thread talking about how mc should stay with the noble instead of the king? I think it would be really funny

Oh, I love this. Mc that has terrible taste in men is so real.

*Glasylabolas posts a photo of him kissing Mc*

Glasylabolas: Task failed succesfully

Foras: I'm glad you like the dead so much because there's no way you're going to keep on living after this

Barbatos: I'm preparing the candles

Glasylabolas: It's fineeeeee I made it so only people that follow me can see it. His majesty Leviathan doesn't follow anyone.

Dantalian: BROOOOOOOO THIS IS SO COOOOOOL

Glasylabolas: I know, right? The child of Solomon is my significant other now. Everyone else can go cry about it.

Dantalian: You'll be sharing with your bestie, right

Dantalian: 🥹👉👈

Glasylabolas: Of course

Dantalian: Yepeeeee

Glasylabolas: Tell Ronové to check his dms

Dantalian: He's busy. We're in the middle of a battle

Glasylabolas: I don't care, I want to see if he has time in his scheduel for our threesome

Dantalian: wait... I thought I was your bestie!

Glasylabolas: I have many besties, Dantalian

Glasylabolas: Most of them from Abaddon. You people trully understand me

Dantalian: It's fine. Wanting to fuck corpses is tame. Just yesterday someone died from getting fucked by a horse.

Glasylabolas: Crazy

Dantalian: Can I have more pics with you and Mc? I want to make an edit

Glasylabolas: Absolutely, just send it to me directly

Dantalian: sure sure

*Glasylabolas posted 10 more photos*

Dantalian: wiat ill doiy when i grt homt

Glasylabolas: Are you having a stroke?

Dantalian: m typng wjth m feert

Glasylabolas: Pop off

5 hours later

*Dantalian posted an edit*

Dantalian: It's done!

Glasylabolas: This is great! Though why is the song "Be my bad boy"

Dantalian: Because you're the bad boy and Mc is the badass dom

Glasylabolas: They haven't dommed yet

Dantalian: yet

Gamigin: WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS??????

Paimon: It's not even photoshopped... Glasy, how could you?!

Eligos: Nooooooo out of all the bad decisions, Mc made the worst one

Amon: I think I just lost my appatite for the next century

Dantalian: Come on, guys, it's not that bad!

Amon: @Gamigin are there any free beds in Paradise Lost? I think I need emergency medical attention

Gamigin: I'll send Buer over

Amon: Thx

Eligos: This is fucking outragous

Paimon: My main question is how Glasy is still alive

Foras: @Glasylabolas I think you should brace yourself

Gamigin: What happened?

Barbatos: Hi guys!!!! So, his handsome majesty Leviathan took care of everything. His last words were "This is hot"

Gamigin: Is he dead?

Paimon: Good

Dantalian: He was a good devil.

Dantalian:

Dantalian: Stay strong, brothers

Foras: He's not dead, just unconcious

Paimon: Bumeeeer

*This forum has been terminated at the request of his majesty Leviathan*

#whb #what in hell is bad #whb glasylabolas #whb foras #whb barbatos #whb leviathan #whb dantalian #whb eligos #whb paimon #whb amon #whb gamigin #shipper au #whb x reader

[slashthrashandcrash]

Not the danny as a girl dad post coming right for me and my daddy issues

Worst dad in the world. That kind of deadbeat dad that fucks off for 10 months at a time before remembering she exists and sending a birthday card with the wrong age. But when he does come back around for a bit she just thinks he's so cool and awesome and spoils her rotten and those rose tinted glasses are staying glued to her face well into her teenage years.

Always has plenty of pictures of her in his wallet though, seems genuinely surprised each year that his baby keeps growing up (what the hell, she was four last time, what do you mean she's starting kindergarten next week, stop letting her get bigger--). He wants to be there for all of the fun milestones but not actually make an effort in long term raising.

It's funny because for an investigative journalist and dedicated stalker, he really doesn't know much about his own kid (which means she's happy to fill in all the gaps for him!!). I think it's because he disassociates from parenthood entirely, only snapping back after the come down from his latest reign of terror as Ghostface, when he's no longer in the mindset of whatever alias he was living as. Then, whoops, oh yeah, better go check on the baby and see if unicorns are still her favorite animal.

Absolute spitting image of him by the way. Little ray of sunshine skipping around him and tugging his hand and telling him about a kid that pushed her at recess whose mom then mysteriously disappeared a week later...

#ask #anon #girl dad danny!!!!!!!!!

[findafight]

The "Robin would never date Steve's ex who broke his heart" take is FUCKING stupid for a lot of reasons.

First of off, the autonomy you're taking out of Robin with this.

Like she's not Steve's sidekick, she's not his yes man, she's an indepent girl who should be free to date any girl she wants.

She would never let her friendship with him ostacolate her love life.

Why the fuck she should do that?!

No one would.

And also, Steve is actually the one who hurt Nancy the most (slut Nancy Wheeler).

And if you think for a second that Robin would ever take Steve's side, then you're wrong.

Just stop centering everything around Steve, and stop reducing Robin to be just his sidekick, 'cause she's FUCKING not.

Hi! So. Pretty sure you found the most recent post I made (on April 6th) tagged anti rnce (and ONLY anti rnce. Not even stranger things. Just anti rnce and my personal original text post tag and a quip about choosing violence. So clearly if that’s how you got here you chose to not just send a post you disagreed with to your friends to rant about but came into my inbox and tried to start shit)And if you didn’t I truly don’t get how you, clearly a rnce fan, found me.

I’m going to be honest. Neither of us are going to change each other’s minds. I don’t like rnce for a lot of reasons, from i just don’t see a romantic spark there to a lot of the shippers being kinda shitty. I don’t care what you ship, really, just that. Claiming it’s canon or should be canon endgame etc gets annoying. And that a lot of the times the way I’ve seen the relationship portrayed (because, contrary to possibly popular belief, I have actually tried to read some fics for them. It’s also such a commonly untagged side or background pairing that I am subjected to it like that often as well) there’s so often weird terf or radfem red flags and alarm bells going off. I’ve seen someone harassed by rnce shippers for calling them out and then those shippers loudly regurgitating terf talking points like it’s fucking funny. I know all fandoms and ships have bad eggs but holy shit.

There’s been a few posts about how for some reason rnce fans try to portray people who don’t like it as making Robin Steve’s sidekick, when really we are acknowledging the facets of her characterization other than her lesbianism. Just because she likes girls doesn’t mean that’s the only thing that matters to her!

Yes, Robin liking girls is part of who she is, it influences how she acts and what she talks about, but it’s not the ONLY thing about her. She likes old movies, she enjoys pop and new wave music, she does her make up in her best friend’s car, she forgot to mention she never learned to drive because he forgot to ask if she could, she thinks combining into a super being with said best friend would possibly solve most of their problems.

Robin is a character who makes her own choices! She chooses to butt in at scoops, chooses to stay with Steve in the bunker to hold off the Russians, chooses to tell him her deepest secret, chooses to apply for jobs with Steve once they heal from the mall, chooses to spend a lot of time with him! And that’s rad. It gives us insight on who she is!

Whenever I’ve written or talked about Robin choosing not to date Nancy, I’ve always made it perfectly clear that it is Robin’s choice. Because given what we see of her in two seasons, Robin is loyal, and greatly values her friendship with Steve. Like. Regardless of how Steve feels about it, and I do think of Robin was legitimately interested in Nancy and Steve thought she had a chance, he’d encourage her to go for it. (Steve isn’t blindly encouraging Robin to hit on Vickie. He has high suspicions that Vickie is queer in some way too! She likes boobies!) I think Robin would think twice about it just because how much she encouraged stancy to get back together in s4.

Honestly, it makes me sad seeing how many times “why would robin choose her best friend’s feelings over getting a gf” is said because like. I value my friends’ feelings all the time. If I thought something I was doing was or would hurt them, I would reevaluate. Why WOULDNT Robin consider her best friend’s feelings? The first person she ever came out to? Who made her feel safe and accepted? Who made her laugh when she felt most vulnerable? Who she encouraged to get back with his ex? Romance is not a level up from friendship, it is not the endgame of life, it is not superior to any other relationship type. Treating friendships as less important to romance is something to reconsider and reevaluate.

Your last point. Anon, who is centring Steve now? Sure. He fucked up in s1. Literally no one denies that. He fucked up and he worked to make things right. He cleaned up the graffiti, he went to apologize to Jonathan, and he presumably apologized to Nancy, because she decided to date him for eleven months after that. I highly doubt there wasn’t heavy gossip about the graffiti or their breakup/makeup. I do agree that before Tina’s party Steve wasn’t helping Nancy as much as he could have, but Nancy wasn’t communicating to him either. They weren’t in the right place for each other. If we consider the alley the breakup, how is that not still breaking his heart? Yes Nancy was on a noble crusade, but it still had collateral damage. It’s something interesting about her character!

Robin wouldn’t be on board with the graffiti. But like. Steve’s changed and apologized since then. And She wasn’t there? She’s just here for the aftermath of Steve’s reignited feelings for Nancy. Idk. Both Steve and Nancy hurt each other in s1/2. It’s not a Steve v Nancy thing? It’s just an acknowledgment that of the two, Robin is closer to Steve. She’s more likely to consider him. She’s not omniscient to everything that happened or the persons feelings and reasons for doing it.

I’m sorry you don’t think friendship has an equal or greater value than some romantic relationship, it must suck. I also hope you find better things to do than to come to someone’s inbox and try to start something over a ship you like that they don’t.

#anti ronance #I censored it in my answer but anon didn’t so it might show up in the search #but not in the tag #findaanswers #listen. just get out of here #if you think I’m a stupid idiot then block and move on #but you clearly came here from somewhere looking at stuff to be mad at because I always make sure to tag #also everyone ignores that Steve has CURRENT FEELINGS for Nancy that ROBIN ENCOURAGED

[orbleglorb]

blaseball in the tumblr universe, part 4

(part 3 might be needed for context)

[ID 1: divider to show that there is a new post]

[ID 2: divider to show that a new reblog has been added to a post /end IDs]

anonymous asked:

so what exactly did you think was going to happen when you made your tumblr username Official Jessica Telephone?

☎️ official-jessica-telephone

idk man i thought maybe before sending an ask, which you have to click on my profile to do, people would see my header that says "not jessica telephone" in all caps. maybe they'd even read my bio that says i'm a 17 year old transmasc named michael living in the uk.

#telephone calls #please please please it is not that hard.

620 notes

🦞 marketplace-shellfish 🔁

👛 antique-handbags Follow

Working in ILB offices is so fun. Why did my boss just ask me who Donald Trump is.

👛 antique-handbags

Wrong blog but too late to delete now :P

🦞 marketplace-shellfish

Wait. So Parker IIIII knows who Ronald Reagan is, but not Donald Trump?

👛 antique-handbags

The Game Band (and me and some others, but mostly TGB) give Commish school lessons on off hours. They've only made it to around the 80s or 90s in history in the eleven-ish years he's been around. I usually do English and Math with him so IDK what's going on there.

🦞 marketplace-shellfish

Amazing. What the fuck

#I hope that's not supposed to be confidential #Would rather not get fired #<- Prev honestly I don't think anyone but maybe your coworkers could figure out who you are? #You're pretty good at not sharing personal details outside of this post #Or maybe I've missed a couple of posts idk

9,821 notes

anonymous asked:

You're one to get up on a soapbox about respecting celebrities. You literally named yourself after Mike Townsend.

☎️ official-jessica-telephone

i literally named myself after michael the distortion tma

#telephone calls #hitting my head against the wall #also i hate being called mike. lmao #canceling my parents for naming my sister after my grandmother

499 notes

🐶 catgirlfirefighter 🔁

🌼 buildmeupbuttercup Follow

🐶 catgirlfirefighter

what if this was my last straw

21,573 notes

☕️ eyesinthedark11

im sorry but the reader is so funny to me. giant eyeball that comes outta nowhere and says "your team is gonna suck absolute shit this season. here's a card and a riddle. fuck you" and then the coin is so clearly trying to get this guy away from blaseball but it doesn't care. comes every earlsiesta and is like "your team has a chance of sucking so bad it hurts. over under under over" and then LEAVES. do we think the coin and the reader are divorced

#i am NOT maintagging this shit

13 notes

#i did not check math at all so if the reader would have appeared later than 11 years after pvrker came around pls ignore that #blaseball #fake tumblr #fake tumblr dash #i have several more of these in my drafts

[stepbackattack]

They are communicating…

#this is only funny to me! post and send!!! #house md #james wilson #hannibal nbc #nbc hannibal #hannibal lecter #house

[dykevanny]

had a really funny idea for an ask blog ft. Vanny and another plex employee oc,,

#Get this right. 2 pizzaplex employees accidentally get tumblr famous bc someone has been leaving weird graffiti everywhere and #Getting up to other shenanigans and sends asks abt it to this one like urban exploration blog. Who later gets an ask basically like #Hey I work at the plex?? This is some insider info only another employee would know???? #The two anons are constantly back and forth in this persons inbox and are eventually assigned nicknames #‘Pix’ for the mystery vandalism employee because she shows up as nothing but weird pixels and glitches on cameras #The other employee is ‘Cam’ because they have been monitoring all this on the cameras #One day they get each others blogs and keep sending each other death threats and shit jokingly but one day pix warns cam not to go to a #Weird late staff meeting #The next night it is literally just the two of them and they think this is so funny they start a blog trying to uncover why everyone else #Just isn’t coming in. At first they are like well layoffs duhhhh #But then ppl send asks and messages like ‘hey have u seen this employee it’s my brother/friend/etc’ and they realize shit is actually going #On in here #One night cam is live-blogging their shift and sees a weird intruder in a costume with a knife and runs around eventually escaping and find #Pix lying at the bottom of a stairwell unconscious with a bloody nose later #Takes pix to the hospital. Only to be alone in the plex the next night and suddenly get a phone call saying that pix left the hospital. Bc #Pix left cam as the emergency contact because ‘she didn’t have anyone else’. #Cam has to survive the masked intruder #eventually starts recording everything but when the intruder gets closer the footage gets glitchier #Eventually there’s just one fuzzy image of the intruder with Roxy and Monty standing on either side and that’s the last we hear of cam. Nex #Post is pix saying hehe thanks for following our little story aha !! Bye now it’s over!! And that’s it…..heheheheh #Killer rab blog has become a little boring for me so… might start this soon…. #I’d have to make like 2 blogs plus some fake dms too probably . Damn

[milf-harrington]

the fact that steve harrington has such a fancy house but then just. doesn't have a porch gets me every time

#fun fact: right as i finished writing this post i thought someone was trying to open my front door #which was momentarily terrifying until i realised that was NOT happening #and then once i'd gotten over the initial 'oh fuck' reaction #i transitioned easily into sending my cousin a scathing review of the imaginary home invader #''now that the fear's gone im judging whoever this imaginary person was because who comes out all the way out here #to a house that's lit up like a fucking spaceship at fucking 8 oclock at night- so clearly SOMEONES HOME #and then they just go straight for the front door handle? like babe get better at your job.'' #''not only that but they didn't even commit- they tried the fucking handle once and then was like 'welp i give up' like ?? #if you're gonna end up all the way out here you gotta see it through you gotta try harder than one measly attempt at the door handle.'' #anyway yeah why the fuck don't the harringtons have a porch it's so funny to me #steve harrington #captain speaks

[the-meme-monarch]

I don't like you 🤚

this is so funny to me. i don’t even know who you are? you’re kinda nothing to me. kinda obsessed w the emoji though. get clowned on

#didn’t even see this until answering that prev ask on my phone bc it shows my whole inbox instead of just the ask #the monarch’s court #i only ever send asks to like actually ask things or compliment. the fa #the fact im in your head enough that you had to Tell me. kinda funny. have a nice night now #looking back at my posts to see if i Said anything to prompt this. only post coinciding 5 hours ago was my art #did my silly newsletter doodles piss you off? do you hate valentines NDNDNSJJSJSHSJSJSNS

[puppyeared]

Wait another wizard 101 sufferer? Another lost soul sucked into the world's most entertaining grind-game? Another victim of the binge purge cycle where you want to do nothing but play followed by several months of just not caring? Another nostalgia-driven casual gamer reminiscing about when pvp was fun and not a toxic wasteland? Another with several dozen people in their friends list they wish to log in just once more when the binge purge cycles align?

oh i was a club penguin enjoyer. are u okay though

#????? is this because i mentioned wizard 101 as a joke on catmasks post???? i forgot about that #but if we're talking abt binge playing smth followed by several months of gutwrenching emptiness and nostalgia driven reminiscence #the only thing that comes to mind is minecraft PE hunger games. nothing else comes close to the blind rage and bloodshed #i remember seeing those chumps who bought premium with the gold podium and diamond axe before the game starts bc i would go #straight for their throats before they knew what hit them and then id have a diamond axe for the rest of the game LOL #ive. never actually played wizard 101 my brother just sends me shitposts abt it so its the first thing i thought of trying to be funny #sorry if i got your hopes up 😔 id give u my penguins friend code but. well #ask #yapping #answered

[takami-takami]

Can I talk about how lucky and grateful I am that in the like, over a year I've been posting on this account I have only gotten like, one anon hate ask. Like genuinely you all have been absolutely NOTHING but sweet, kind, and supportive. Every ask and message is kind, and every tag I read is people having fun, and all the comments are you guys chatting with each other or sharing ideas or being kind, like. What the hell did I do to deserve such a warm and loving place on here. I love y'all, like genuinely.

#its probably been like thousands of asks comments and tags at this point #and i can only remember like One being like yo the shit u post sucks #genuinely. it's absolutely wild to me. #the only problematic behavior has been like. ya know like. harassment or ppl being demanding or sending me weird shit #like. fringe asks like that. but the actual real community on here? mwah mwah chefs kiss #you guys are so sweet and funny and genuinely make me so happy !!!!!!! #🐇 rambles

[superhero15]

True statement. Some people think differently. I’ll leave it up to y’all.

#18+ only #adult only content #adult entertainment #perfect breast #sexy breast #perfect butt #great butt #girl butts #big round butt #+18 or +adult only #huge titts #natural titts #sexy titts #sexy content #funny post #message me #funny jokes #hit me up #whats up #love #hangout #need friends #new friends #dm me #friendship #friends #send me dms #lets be friends #lets chat #just saying

[sorrelpaws]

my guy are you okay you have been replying to every rick and morty screens tweet with the name of the episode. don’t get me wrong it’s very funny but also why

im autistic

#asks #rick and morty #YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND Every single one of those replies come straight from my brain #i can genuinely tell you the name of every single episode based on any random screenshot #i will admit tho. the titles are not yet etched into the wrinkles of my dome shaped brain #BUT I KNOW the episodes i always know which episode theyre from #also im glad you find it funny thast the only reason i do it to be honest #i want. whoever made that bot. to acknowledge me and then i'll be satisfied #if you send me any screenshot i can tell u where its from #my replies are like umm a sort of log in case anypony sees a screenshot and is like 'wonder where this is from' #like this whole thing started bcs i was looking thru the acc one day n i was like 'itd be nice if someone could like confirm the eps these- #originate from' #and then i decided i would be that someone after realizing i could name them #I HAVE BLUNDERED TWICE theres one screenshot i couldnt place at all and one that i like. didnt remember AT FIRST #also the account has posted end credits/intro screens. they're making fun of me theyre out to get me

[googleimagefinds]

this feels like a good time to remind people that i dont take fandom or fan art requests or submissions. also begging you guys to keep weird fetish shit and other gross asks out of my inbox. we're normal here

#yoda is the only exception to the fandom rule because i personally think hes a funny lil man #dont send me baby yoda or general star wars stuff tho #i only post media images when theyre funny #also i dont usually post art on here as a general rule. this isnt an art curation blog #mod post

[ribbononline]

Hi! Can you draw Meditite? Please.

I sure can anon! This ones for you!

#with a bonus maylene since shes the only mayor trainer i could find who has it #her hair is p hard to draw! meditite was a lot easier to draw meanwhile then i thought haha #what a funny little guy. #to reiterate my last post uuuuhhhh feeel free to leave maqua requests atm! #general pokemon requests also work but w a slight chance i wont do them wwwww #if you send me the sword and shield twins im not drawing them. sorry </3 #gym leader maylene #pokemon sinnoh #meditite

[mack-anthology-mp3]

https://www.tumblr.com/hurts4maya/741688007153827840?source=share

*plonks this post here for you*

*shaking* hahahaha yeah uhm haha was that first gif the uhhh homoerotic tension casanova film???? i think in that movie he's in love with this woman who's dressing as a guy for a bit or something but i looked at that like OHHHHHHHH. GAYYYY. anyways.

#thank you anon hehe #people sending me or tagging me in david tennant posts is never not funny to me #like yeah i'm a lesbian but the current One Guy I Think Is Pretty is #also considered pretty by like. half of tumblr hehe #also. all the doctor who ones are so funny cos only like one of those he initiates and it's a genetic transfer lol #aroace ten my beloved getting passionately kissed by the women of the universe #thanks so much for the ask <3 #and happy david tennant tuesday thursday

[andonutty]

people: jay is my favourite as dusk falls character! he’s just so sweet and kind! all the other holts suck he’s the ONLY good one!

me:

#as dusk falls #jay holt #zoe walker #tyler holt #dale holt #bear holt #sharon holt #DISCLAIMER im not being serious i just think this is funny #like zoe walker herself was like jay traumatized me the MOST. i let dale carry me with a gun in his hand but jay holt put his HANDS on me #like people like to forget that zoe has two separate moments where she's traumatized by jay covering her mouth #im like y'all what did tyler even do. depending on playthroughs he could have just choked vince a little be so serious #you're telling me that jay is the only good one when he's sending a six year old girl letters saying he needs to talk to her #ANYWAYYYY #disclaimer 2: i don't actually believe he put his hands on her but that's a separate post