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#this is so fucking diabolical
mazogatheorc · 10 months
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opened tumblr and triggered my gore response
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abernathyvalois · 3 months
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If every motherfucker is a “people pleaser” why am i not pleased. Why am i displeased. Name 1 person that is pleased with you
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shannonsketches · 4 months
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There's a meme going around to draw your comfort characters as the Steven meme.
Bowser's never been a comfort character for me, but thinking about how great an Illumination Smash Bros movie would be with these two having the dumbest greatest villain team dynamic has brought me SO much joy this year.
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esmes · 6 months
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grntaire · 5 months
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i just think that
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kaleidoscopedrawsjpg · 11 months
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Redraw on a meme that’s based on a scene from Brooklyn99. It’s dumb, and it’s so flawed but fun was had.
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orcusivanth · 1 year
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PROFESSOR LAYTON IS BACK SO I SCRIBBLED AN ANTON AS FAST AS I COULD cause I love him and descole dearly
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demadogs · 7 months
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COURTNEY EATON as LOTTIE MATTHEWS
Yellowjackets 1.09: Doomcoming
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ra-vio · 1 year
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Tiny wen ning for his birthday
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plasticfangtastic · 8 months
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American Royalty. Ch. 4
A Homelander X F! Reader and Dadlander fanfic.
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A/N: if ya like to be taglisted plz leave a comment to be notified on the next release. got the writers block and too many wips so here is an early chapter. hope y'all like it. plz check my pin post for prev. chapters.
Tags: mild gore, angst, lots of angst, slow burn, fluff, oc characther, child neglect, dadlander, romance.
Chapter Four
Seeing Stars
You had him agree to you working three days as his personal chef, and he couldn’t have you Sundays no matter how much he asked.
Within the week you had gotten a letter from your bank telling you that the pending investigation on your account had been closed and now you could access it, it had even accrue significant interest after being untouched for seven years it was better than an early christmas miracle as you sobbed in your bedroom with the letter in hand, you cried in the kitchen after calling a realtor to see an apartment, by the time you seen a couple of apartments you had come home to find an enveloped taped to your door. Inside paperwork and some keys– seeing red for a moment, but as Helena tugged at your shirt, your anger tucked itself away, you held her crying into her shoulder as you finished reading the letter.
Before the month ended, you had moved into a large, renovated and well located 2 bedroom, 1 office, 2 bathrooms apartment in the ground floor of a duplex, it had to be at least eighteen to twenty thousand dollars in rent but he had simply purchase it– writing in his letter that he wouldn’t allow you to continue raising his daughter in the projects or some refurbished new york closet, he had even collected information on local schools in your new neighborhood for you consider, informing you that he would take care of tuition cost.
As you settled in a space so big you had nothing to fill it with, as you watched your daughter actually behave like a seven year old for once, you laid on the floor by the open concept kitchen, feeling the rich wood underneath your skin, staring at the black granite benches and hardwood cabinetry– the floor was even heated! You heard a landing in one of the two thin yards, you knew your daughter was exploring the bathroom, so it felt safe to do this now.
“I’ll have my interior designer come by this week to help you select furniture and stuff.” He said upon entering, distubed by how barren it was, all your belonings in a a dozen boxes total, tucked in a corner of the living room.
“You are a bastard making me indebted to you.” You grumbled.
“I can’t have her live in a broom closet infested with rats. Kids need yards and space.” He looked at the cherry wood panels lining the outdoors, the vines and trees growing in a decent sized yard, extra big by New York standards– you could get her a puppy, a kitten or…?”
“She likes fish.”
“I could have a pond installed.” he said with a smirk crainign his back as he tried to look less imposing as you refused to lift your head from the heated hardwoods– you should be okay with utility bills, I left them on credit for your convenience. Have you had a chance to look at schools?”
“What are you actually planning, John.” You sat back up, switching names had taken him off-guard wondering what angle you were going at him from– haven’t even started work with you and now you are showering me with presents? This is beyond just wanting to see your kid is not like you actually seen her.”
“You said to take things slow.” He didn’t try hiding that devious grin– Ryan… needs a story.”
“Jesus Christ you are sick.” you now had to stand up for real– you want me to play mom to your kid? I don’t even look like him.”
“Genetics are weird. Helena looks like you and Ryan looks like me, like those dogs from ‘Beauty and the Tramp’."He touched your cheek with a bare hand– Can’t wait to see you next Thursday, mom.”
“Oh god…” You chuckle, losing your mind as his hand hurts without a scratch– How are you going to tell this to Helena?”
“Is in early development but the team will take care of it. I need Ryan to attend the same school as Helena so please hurry up.”
He left not before telling you to take Helena to MOMA this saturday at 2 pm, it wasn’t a suggestion or invitation, it was an order
You did as you were told that evening, one of the best schools in the city was under a half hour walk from this cell, knowing Helena had to be enrolled soon didn’t help, and your commute to Lucci had increased but now you could pay for gas and not cry. Sending him a texts about schools to the number he had given you in his many many notes seemed anticlimactic but that was it.
Helana had grown suspicious, but she played dumb and you knew it too, so you both played stupid when you headed to MOMA that weekend.
You just casually came the same day and the same time as Homelander and Ryan were about to have the whole museum closed off as they received a private tour,  but he asked you to join them not giving any real explanation for why but nobody questioned, neither kid spoke to each other much if any, Helena simply enjoying the silence, she looked at you as she asked about the pieces but it was Homelander who had the most to say about the works, leaving you left out but happy, you knew that face of his so well, to see it on your daughter’s face made your day.
He had taken the opportunity to discuss your employment not your relationship, giving you list of things Ryan should eat, would not eat, wanted to try and things he wanted to try himself, then your hours and some odd request about handling Ryan’s school lunches being instagram worthy, handing you socials to research for such task.
You started work that following week, the Vought kitchens were top of the line, your job was to meet all of his requirements, some of the chefs that recognized you looked at you with relief and curiosity, wanting to know what had happened to you but you were unwilling to share. That first breakfast was returned with clean plates, even the waiter was shocked when he saw empty plates come out of his penthouse.
It had been so long since you could play with such new equipment, this was it, this was the place you belong in, him or not involved this was your happy place now.
Two weeks had passed.
 As you headed for the staff elevator you met Homelander, who had honestly just been waiting for you.
“I got the paperwork sorted… you just have to sign and fill stuff. Nice school! Great stem program not that Helena will find it hard.” he said politely, his posture extra stiff.
“Did you do a background check on her?” you looked around for witnesses.
“Hard not to. Our kid is the captain of the math club… her school team has won most of the math competitions in the last four years. Not to mention the piano recitals, and science competitions”  He looked so proud– her grades are perfect. She might be the smartest little girl in the city.”
“She’s the smartest little girl in the world.”
“And her new school would let the whole world know just that.” He said matching your smug.
You watched him carefully waiting for him to spit out what he wanted to say, either about her schooling or something else.
Helena was allowed to continue attending her old school until you were ready for transfer, he had only briefly talked to you for school discussions, and with great disinterest on what made each school good or not, if anything you found yourself doing this for his son as well, thinking of what this school would do for his well being, and if it was the best choice for a homeschooled kid, and how would this new school commute affect Helena’s after school routine. 
On the days you didn’t work in Vought’s towers she was still babysat or stayed at Lucci’s, she was too young to be left at home, even if you knew she was perfectly safe, but no matter what she was still little. 
During the days you worked in the tower she was kept in the company daycare in the 20th floor, most of the kids there were normal but there was at least one other super-abled child her age, it made you happy to see her interact with a similar kid even if said kid abilities involved phasing thru objects all willy-nilly and make objects phase thru other objects, making you worry of what would happen if he lost focus and Helena got caught inside a wall.
“By the way our kid escaped the daycare.” He held the elevator open for you as he entered, before you could panic he shot you a charming smile– is okay she’s at the gym…”
Your eyes had welled up regardless, you jumped into the metal box pressing the bottom frantically.
“She’s perfectly safe… A-Train is there and so it's that… Noir… her and the only little Supe kid decided to do some mischief, but I kept my ears on her all day.”
Forcing yourself to take deep breaths as the elevator smoothly traveled to the lower floors.
“Is it not her that I am worried for.” you said firmly.
You followed him as he guided you through an unfamiliar floor, inside the large colosseum gym that had been fitted to test somebody’s athletic skills you found your daughter floating in her wavy bubble, but all you saw was your kid swaying in the air.
“Helena get down here immediately!!!” You ran after her reaching for the kid as her bored expression was replaced with embarrassment as she descended into your arms– you cannot run away from daycare!”
“I don’t want to be surrounded by babies.”
“Helena you are a baby!” you squeezed her against yourself, just glad she was still in one piece, you noticed the other small kid in the room– jesus…”
Carrying your kid you reached for the other one, taking his hand.
“Hey sweetie… let me take you back to daycare before your mommy or daddy gets worried.
“Am I in trouble?” he asked meekly.
“No, but Helena is so grounded.”
“Mom!”
“Don’t mom me! You have any idea how dangerous that was!”
“Oh don’t get mad at the kid, she was just acting like a kid. Don’t be such a buzzkill” he mocked you.
“I don’t want or need your opinion– now you got two seconds to explain yourself!”
You began to gently drag yourself and your kid’s victim out of the gym, A-Train absolutely shocked to see anybody talk to Homelander like that.
“Look I had A-Train and Noir come check them out, they were safe!” He chased after you.
“Oh that was your doing.” Helena said–  "I really wanted to meet A-Train” she waved innocently at the Supe, who returned the gesture as a true professional– and... Mom… I wanted to see the building, that’s all… sorry I used Elmo to escape… but his powers were just too useful”
“You cannot use people like that.” you said in shock.
“People like being used.” Her words were just cold as she wriggled herself out of your arms, falling without touching the ground, she took Elmo’s hand taking the small kid towards the exit– some people are born serfs.” She mumbled to herself.
Homelander's heart beat violently– oh his daughter was a brat and had a questionable attitude, he hadn’t even interacted much with her, but he was proud. His whole body went light and his smile couldn’t be contained as he saw the small girl with true love in his eyes, this was the moment he saw her as truly his own.
Ryan was still reluctant to accept his father’s philosophy, but this little one understood that she was born better from the start on her own.
She turned around to face you again, little Elmo sucked on his thumb as her eyes glowed pale blue.
“Is it alright if I come to the training gym if I ask permission first?” 
“I…”
“Of course all Supe’s should know to keep their powers top notch. You are more than welcome to use the facilities.” Homelander had cut you off, petting the little girl’s head as he approached the duo– Just ask your mother so she doesn’t have a heart attack. Then again this is one of the safest places in all of New York and little Helena over here is perfectly safe, after all I am here.” He said while staring at you.
His voice was sweet, you were defeated as Helena tried to contain that cheshire grin of hers while staring at you– he was your boss , and the Homelander so could you really go against him so publicly?
“You had a terrorist attack in this building… but I guess…” She ignored him again then looked straight at you– I learned something new today.” 
A-Train and Noir exchanged concerned looks taking a few step backs, Homelander seemed intrigued to watch your reaction, you gave way, unable to speak, just frustrated as your ex looked just as smug as his kid.
Little Elmo scoot behind her– in the round gymnasium a cement boulder hanged in chains, her eyes glowed the brightest you’ve ever seen, lifting her hand with one quick swipe the boulder broke in half, the dust showing the invisible blade bending light, it gain a blue color as it was touched before fading, she looked so proud of herself, you stared at Homelander and now you understood why nobody had informed you that your daughter was missing. It didn’t sit well with you.
“you’re still grounded for a whole week.”
“But Mom!!”
You had walked into a trap, one you did so willingly, jailed in a nice house, any hope of Homelander being driven away or losing interest in her was gone as he looked at her with pure adoration in his eyes.
You got used to it… this prison was lovely, it was nice to come back to a spacious cell. Homelander had indeed brought his decorator to your house but you didn’t want designer furniture and high end stuff, you kept it simple and cheap, most of your stuff second hand and from Ikea, only relenting to agree with the poor designer over the kitchen, his budget was absurd for the task, only taking advantage to purchase all the appliances of your dreams, you indeed needed a air fryer that matched your splashback.
Helena was happy to have a room that felt like a bedroom, large bookcases that could be filled with her own books, a small courtyard facing her doors, where she now could sit down and read with the breeze in her hair. She seemed happy, euphoric when she began her new school, making you forget what was happening in the background at times.
Homelander would come from time to time to speak to you about mundane stuff and work, his patience saintly as he allowed you to get used to his company once more, just so you could be okay with him entering her life, but then again he was your jailer.
He himself had begun forcing himself into her life when you weren’t around, it was all a matter of timing and perception.
Homelander watched the daycare center, from afar, a much needed service, it occupied a whole floor, the tower employed thousands of people in its 99th floor so there had to be help for those mothers and fathers who needed to work but had children with no babysitters, it was one of the many appealing things about being employed by Vought, and the center offered a variety of activities for all age groups.
Helena saw it as a jungle, all these children just a bunch of savages, keeping Elmo around not because she liked his company but because he was the only other Supe child in her age group, he was a sweet kid, afraid of bugs and that liked to talk about cartoons, frankly it was a challenge to figure out what to do with him. Homelander watched as she taught the kid to play chess, taking hours to explain the basics as the seven year old had very little clue what was happening, but in its own way it was nice to talk to another kid like himself.
Homelander even bothered to do a background check on the child– both of his dad’s both worked at Vought one in hero management and the other in marketing, both very busy bees it seems… he had done the same with all of Ryan’s new classmates, he knew their entire families before his kid even stepped foot and said hello to any of them, all done before he started school the same week as Helena– there was the big issue of her being on the 10th grade while her older brother just began the 6th grade, so he couldn’t enjoy seeing the both of them interacting, it was hard to witness for he wanted both kids to become closer so desperately.
Hence why he was standing on the foyer of the daycare center, a young lady that looked too cheerful for her own good, welcomed Homelander.
“Hi! How can I help you today, Homelander? Are you looking to enroll little Ryan?” She swayed side to side trying to see if the kid was behind him by any chance.
“Actually… am here to speak to one of the kids… hmm… Helena L/N.” He said with a firm tone– I believe her mother left a message.”
Homelander texted you an hour before cominf down, not even asking you that he was going to take her for training, you were stuck in the kitchen helping with some work function taking place tonite, a thousand canapes had to be made and you were stuck with the pistachio and lemon layer cakes.
You had no time to argue, taking your precious break time to make phone calls and try not to use your knife on the nearest asshole who pissed you off afterwards.
She hopped on the desk seeking for any notes, and he was indeed correct.
Now he had her all for himself, you prayed he wasn’t going to drop the news on her, but you couldn’t leave and abandoned your team, she was safe, you had to believe she was safe, she was smart, she was so smart and she could escape him, you just had to trust her.
“Can I bring Elmo?” Helena looked up at Homelander, a slight ache building on her neck as she looked up at the man– he might get lonely.”
“He’s not a dog.” He didn’t even try putting on a soft babied voice with her– and I wanted to talk to you.”
“But he’s always ‘The Dog’ when we play house.” She faked the most innocent voice she could muster, turning around to look at the glass doors  dividing the friends– … He will probably sneak out to the gym if he gets lonely, they got his favorite snacks today… he told me liked five times and I think they’re playing Bluey on the tv.”
“Oh! and you play mommy?” He grimaces so hard his eyebrows touch.
“No, the robber.”
He led the way and she was more than happy to explore the building as they headed downstairs.
“What do you think of them?”
“Elaborate.”
“Those without powers.” she wished she could see his expression– and be honest. None of this ‘Wednesday Addams’ crap.”
He looked around at the sea of smart casual fits and stress on the floors above, the world moving so fast paced, nothing but monkeys hurling shiny rocks while playing dress-up.
“They can be useful, if they are not… then they don’t matter to me.”
He smiled, his heart fluttering and his stomach filled with butterflies as he heard her speak– why did Ryan struggle so much to understand this? He thought.
“When you are born with such gifts–
“I might be a kid but I am very familiar with your Compound V, I already had this talk with my mother. Fascinating stuff… I am still trying to understand the whole dosage thing… How does your company decide which kid to give more versus others? Did they just look at who could provide the best backstory before deciding between 10 mils versus the whole vial.” 
She stared at the glass walls where the kids were housed, the tone of her voice still flat.
“Why you say that?”
“I’m a poor kid from the projects, with a single mom, formerly homeless and now with enough powers to make Athena envious. Not to mention how 92% of supes are white but the percentage below middle class to poor is almost the same as with the 6% blacks, while the percentage of upper class white supes is closer to the same percentage of 2% asians and latino supes… if anything a good chunk of latino and asian supes are upper class… something-something model minority yadah-yadah.” she pressed the elevator door– I’d make a good story. Shame that I can’t be a Supe.”
Homelander stared at her, placing his hand on the back of her head.
“You can be anything you want, Helena. You have been blessed beyond belief with powers… if you want to be Supe then you are ready for major leagues.”
She rolls her eyes.
“Only the 1% of superheroes ever make it to the major leagues, most supes never achieve anything beside D-list status and everybody is fighting for the crumbs left behind by your posse of clowns– is not a fiscally responsible decision. A career that can only exist on extreme gambling is not one that can make money. Not to mention am not cute or tall." She took the first step into the elevator– I never want my mother to worry about money. I want to buy her a mansion on top of a cliff staring at the ocean, have a dozen maids care for the house and she can just spend the rest of her life in luxury”
She turns to see him crossing her arms with a serious look on her tiny face.
“My goal is to take your job.”
“The Seven?” He grinned.
“Vought.”
“I can wait to see you try.” he grinned.
“It won’t be that hard… At least when I am in charge security will be tighter.”
Bottles of V dropped from above Homelander’s head, he caught most of them but a few were lost, those were hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of drops staining his pants and shoes, Helena caught one bottle, sliding it between nimble fingers back and forth.
“Don’t look so surprised, it seems this is a common occurence… Here's an unwanted tip: use biometrics and only allow lab techs to enter the 67th floor, not just rely on good will, clown.” sections of her body and clothes flicked back and forth between visible and invisible, taunting him about how easy it had been to steal them using her superpowers.
As his eyes took an extra tinge of red, he saw a brief flash of pale blue encasing her, he followed her to the entrance of the Gym, where she expected to be left alone with Homelander not to find another kid.
“The prodigal son.” she mumbles.
Ryan sat on top of some raised stepping stones in the recently established obstacle course, Helena imagined she needed to know parkour in lieu of flying abilities, which seemed redundant for the kid who could fly.
“Thought you two could practice together.” He shouted while placing the V on the nearest bench.
“Guess there are ways to successfully murder a child and get away with it.” She raised an eyebrow– and here I thought you wouldn’t be irked by the words of a little girl… like I said you’re a maladjusted person.”
“I don’t hurt children. I have no idea…” he said calmly while a little bit angry, as he returned to her side.
“I dunno– it would look really bad if the press found out that you’re a deadbeat.”
His expression dropped as the little girl's eyes glowed.
“Smartest little girl in the world… or...?” She said dryly, as she headed towards Ryan to save him the walk– my bubble refracts light, easy to spot if you notice images are wavering without the heat.”
The little boy ran cheerfully after his father, who for the first time ignored him, his eyes transfixed on the little girl, who had been playing stupid all along.
taglist-- @fromforeigntofamiliarity , @demodemo909 and @immyowndefender
here's the house:
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scienceandpuzzles · 2 years
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cant wait for taylor swift to drop a couple of grand on some environmentalist organization or some shit in a couple of days so her fans can say “see??? she is a true eco queen <3 she cares sooooo much" and absolutely bully you and call you a misogynist if you point out shes still rich af, STILL has a private jet she uses irresponsibly and without a doubt used the cottagecore image to make herself trendy popular and sell shit when in fact she dgaf about nature and sure as hell never seen a farm without workers doing shit for her like the true american wealthy white woman she is. 
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bl00dw1tch · 4 months
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Watching someone play afop and im so. Oh my god. Oh my GOD. It's literally just a fucking showcase of all the Exact type of shit that has been happening to indigenous people and people of color have been dealing with for Centuries at the hands of white supremacy and imperialism. Like its literally just Showing all that Shit from the perspective of a Na'vi in universe. So it "demonizes" the RDA accordingly. And uet so many fucking reviewers are joshing on it and calling it Boring and Slow and Uninspired and that it makes human's 'cartoonishly evil' LIKE YOU PEOPLE HAVENT LOOKED AT A SINGLE FUCKING CURRENT EVENT IN YOUR LIVES. Oh my god im so mad at all these fucking reviewers now. The fucking AUDACITY to look at something this fucking Honest about the cruelty humans are capable of, while living during the fucking day and age with all this Knowledge we have at our fingertips -- the fucking audacity to look at this game and what the character goes through and not being able to muster up ANY other fucking emotion besides "ubisoft never was great at story anyway so idc lol" fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you. Like actually. You can't even fucking ATTEMPT to connect to this story emotionally? Not even a fucking Smidge? Jesus fucking christ people need everything to be spoon fed to them these days. God forbid a piece of media actually ask you to meet it in the middle for once.
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kirbyddd · 4 months
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still insane how layton went from
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to
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and no one even batted an eye
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halosmoon · 4 months
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I could make a 20 minute compilation of Mork looking at Day like THAT and I know that you know what I’m talking about.
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cherrysalsa · 3 months
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bringing back dis ancient new order thing i fucking guess
1. How long have you been a New Order fan? 4 years, since spring 2020
2. How many New Order concerts have you been to? 0 sadly, but way more ph+l than id like
3. What was your favourite New Order gig? not sure what gig this actually was but my fav live thing of them ever was an egg/temptation segue that was deleted off youtube a while ago
4. What is your fav New Order album? movement and republic rap battle in my head every day
5. Fav New Order song? all day long
6. Favourite Member of New Order? GILLIANNNNN
7. Favourite Former Member of New Order? rob (rip king)
8. How many NO albums do you own? 8 i think
9. Do you own any Joy Division? up and closer
10. Least Favourite album? out of the relevant ones, technique, otherwise fucking wftsc or some shit i guess
11. Do you have all the side project albums? i have all of o2 (+ some extra) and all of monaco
12. Which is your favorite side project? THE OTHER TWO SUPREMACY
13. Favorite remix? i dont listen to many remixes
14. Favorite video? tbthog (true faith and world are rap battling for 2nd)
15. Favorite cover? dont listen to many covers either, but daywave's ceremony one is nice
16. Should Hooky rejoin the band? HELL nah
17. Do you like Barney’s dancing and fav dance move? HELL nah fav move is the one where i put him in my human size mouse trap
18. How many times a day do you listen to NO? idfk man
19. Is New Order your favorite band? nope (cocteau twins my beloved) but they were for a few years there
20. Should Steve audition for Dr. Who? sure. why not. whatever u fuckin say i guess. i would support him
21. Favorite Barney collaboration? fuck barney bruh all his collabs give me brain damage
tagging the only real one on this site @tastyfish and ermmmmm @youngoffender (hi im kweenofthenight instagram sory for the tumblr jumpscare)
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probablygayattorneys · 2 months
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I finally remade the camera in Diabolical Box but now trying to do these spot the differences has got me feeling like
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