#thought it would be a good idea to watch a movie with a gay priest in it as a queer catholic it wasnt! i am now very emotional!

[transsexualjoanofarc]

go watch priest 1994 ☝️

#me.txt #priest 1994 #thought it would be a good idea to watch a movie with a gay priest in it as a queer catholic it wasnt! i am now very emotional! #but the movey was fucking FANTASTIC #moral of the past week: stop watching stuff just fr the hot priests without checking warnings beforehand you WILL get fucked up

[drewsaturday]

finished rewatching loving annabelle so here's a text wall of random thoughts about it

i'm not saying it's a good movie. everyone in it is soooooooo stupid, because you can't really have the film work out if they're not. but i still love it so much.

there's a lot i doubt i picked up on the first couple times i watched it since i was such a baby back then but idk, scattered thoughts:

simone's aunt had this line after seeing simone and annabelle have an Angsty Moment in the classroom: "I'd like to think if something were going on, if there was something you needed, that you would ask."

this was just after simone and her boyfriend sooooorta broke up i think so her aunt probably thought something was wrong there, or that she was having trouble controlling annabelle, or even perhaps there was a faint hint of awareness that annabelle reminded simone too much of her gal pal who died a few years ago.

the thing is, simone has been asking to be distanced from annabelle the whole movie. at least twice i think. so either her aunt has nooooooo idea that annabelle is personally an issue for simone (in the amanda sense, not the student-fucking sense) or she thinks she can be a source of help for whatever simone is going through despite not listening to her at all throughout the film. why would simone feel like she can go to you when you don't listen to her? when you probably fucked her up a ton when she was a teenager?

in the first instance i remember of asking for distance, simone said annabelle should be moved to a different dorm. her aunt says that simone is capable of controlling annabelle because she had been able to control simone and surely nothing could be worse than that. it rly shows how confident immaculata is that she beat the gay out of simone (if she'd even been aware of it) and made her into a successful mini-me. at the very least, she can't see anything wrong with simone because then that would mean she failed at fixing her rebellious ways.

in another instance, simone was asking to not be stuck at the school with anabelle during spring break. and her aunt did not listen to her about it because of the situation being so sensitive with annebelle's mother being a politician. i really don't think her aunt had any clue, obviously, that she couldn't be trusted with annebelle. if anything she probably thought it would be a good challenge for her, but really i don't think she was thinking about simone at all. the whole situation rly didn't get much depth in her brain.

i could make more definite inferences here if i knew if her aunt realized simone and amanda were a thing. i can't remember if that was clear. but i imagine that since simone was able to continue to wear amanda's necklace, and the priest gave a hint that he knew (ie. this was not a huge thing when they were teenagers that they needed to repent before him for) i imagine... immaculata either didn't know, or thought it was just a phase/choice specifically to piss her off.

her aunt also was drunk stroking her hair saying they don't talk anymore, not like they used to, and it felt... VERY WEIRD. i think it was probably to show how her aunt is a stand-in mother since her own parents didn't do much for her, and how simone's own ~unholiness~ makes her inauthentic and her aunt is starting to realize that. but there is a 5% vibe of like... incest going on there? like her aunt had molested her when she was younger??? i rly don't think that's what the film was going for but the way she kept pushing back simone's hair was VERY CHOICE. it rly depends on when they had been close--when simone was a small child and before she became unholy? as teens somehow, maybe after her aunt "fixed" her? in which case, simone starting to misbehave would make her aunt think they're growing apart when rly simone is just pretending less? did they have a period of time as adults before amanda died, after? i'm confused lmao.

also damn why DID simone come back to the school? i feel like it was probably after amanda died. i can't imagine how broken she had to be to want to go back there after amanda's death since... that school probably played a huge hand in breaking her. maybe she felt it would remind her of amanda, the years they did have together there. maybe she was personally so distraught she wanted her aunt close by because that's the only family she felt she had. had she been a teacher before or did she become a teacher to be able to teach there? did she want to help students who felt as stifled as she and amanda did? she's gentle about it, but does need them to fit in so it rly doesn't seem like a healthy place for her to be. i think she just... felt lost after amanda passed and this was the only place she could see herself.

anyway that priest was so woke. i love him. that little moment of comfort he provided simone probably healed her more than anything her aunt ever did could. too bad he didn't know she was about to go fuck a student.

cat was such a bitch. i do find it kinda... funny that everyone was so mad at her for telling on simone and annabelle? like those relationships aren't allowed for a reason, so theoretically she should've been doing something good, but i guess it's framed that way bc cat did it to be a dick. i loved colins though having such child of divorce energies like "i don't care if they're together because i like them both :)" girl...

anyway simone's motivations. she is very clearly a broken fragile person who never grew up and the film makes that clear, as well as annabelle's own role as a mature comforting presence. i'm not going to say that's like, good justification for them banging, but it's fiction and i think it made sense in context. i just wanted more insight into simone's psyche. oftentimes the music they had for certain scenes spelled things out SO clearly that it felt un-earned, even though to me i could make guesses that lined up with it. basically i know simone is very broken, she misses her dead ex who annabelle reminds her of, she's stuck in a loveless relationship, etc. i just wish we'd been given more for why she actually took this risk if that makes sense? because she's risking a LOT there, but i guess annabelle's persistance helped.

annabelle... is so much ;sljkdf. i liked the details about her ex, both simone and annabelle getting some visual metaphors for moving on through each other (simone letting the photo of amanda float, annabelle giving her the prayer beads... those are going to get confiscated tho girl rip). i think she probs has some mommy issues from her mom being a politician, and she also had to grow up fast as a result hence why she's in such a mature role throughout.

before i forget, i swear when annabelle had that moment where she interpreted a quote to be about sex she said something about how love is everywhere, in everything, and the priest later on said god is everywhere/in everything. and i don't know if simone believed in god--i know annabelle wasn't even catholic--but maybe if she did, that sort of connection helped her bridge into "this isn't TOO sinful maybe it's fine :)" j;lksdfklj.

i love simone but man she's dumb in a fun way. like, i know she's stunted. but her discussion with her bf where he was like "i want to be with someone who actually wants to be with me :(" and she was like "....i want that for you too..." and said it with her whole chest. oh my god. babygirl. AND HE STILL DANCED WITH HER LATER. take a hint man, your sex is so boring she has to go fuck a student.

i think i mixed up annabelle with that girl who's repeating senior year but i actually did remember this film as having annabelle being confirmed 18 or something. i guess no confirmation is better than her being younger canonly but j;klsdf oops.

uhhhhhhh also that quote about not seeking new landscapes but seeing with new eyes. if i had the braincells i could probs apply that in a lot of ways. but im head empty rn. i think simone probs clung to that when she was at the school with amanda--they're in catholic hell but at least they have each other and they can find new adventures through that. annabelle probs took it similarly with simone. and simone probably kept it in mind when she returned there to teach, or actually... she betrayed it i guess. she didn't seek out anything new, she just returned to the old. until annabelle brought another lens through.

i'm all over the place but i just remembered for simone's motivations i know it was clear but i would've loved to see actual flashbacks to her and amanda, or flashes of amanda when annabelle was beside her to hit home how lost in time she is about it all. i feel like... i know she probably isn't feeling much generally, she's going through the motions, and now she has annabelle so she feels conflicted, etc. but i do think they didn't give her a tonnnnnnn to work with since it is quite hard to get much insight into her when she isn't stroking photos of amanda bc she can't rly talk to anyone about this. she can just sit in the bath and be sad.

i liked that note from amanda about how simone had always been the stronger one because simone feels so fragile and in need of a rock to lean on by the time of the movie. enter annabelle i guess.

cat was a bitch but it was cool to see her talk about being into girls but not identifying as gay bc she likes boys too. i think she meant it as being in denial maybe? because then she tried to "experiment" with annabelle and the word bisexual was never used. i think she would be bisexual if she had a word for it. but it was cool to see diff identities as well as that line about another student who was obsessed with simone freshman year.

colins was so precious. there r so many little things that i don't rly get the "purpose" of (like... the porcupine i guess? though that did show that simone bends the rules for her less-conforming students) but it did make the dorms feel more lived in.

oh also i don't think simone and annabelle's relationship would ever work out long term. they're both clearly struggling from shit--amanda's death, annabelle's breakup and general life--but i don't think annabelle would come out of this damaged if that makes sense? annabelle finally gave simone a place to grieve, and maybe her return to the school marked an attempt to close herself off from having to face that actually. because the school is all about putting on a front and suppressing yourself. so when a student like annabelle shows up and is so intensely herself... it's hard to run from yourself as well.

maybe re: immaculata's understanding of amanda and simone's relationship, bc the necklace simone wears in memory of her is a cross perhaps it shows it was a hidden romance, since the cross is unsuspecting. whereas for annabelle she;s openly gay and that's shown by her wearing prayer beads from another religion, an affront to the school's only-one-way catholicism.

i had more thoughts as i was watching but im out of them now. im just rambling so dont take my wording choices too seriously pls lmao. i'm not saying it's a fantastic movie and that it portrays a healthy relationship exactly. like there's def more room for them to have condemned it. but i don't mind that they didn't since... escapist fantasy, simone got arrested, and the ending where charges were dropped was an alternate end only available on dvd. i do wish we knew the characters ages but i like that it's not totally set in stone for similar reasons.

i found a lot of comfort in this movie as a teen and while if any adult acts like simone, run, i still rly felt Seen as a younger lesbian who only likes older women, and i still do have a special place in my heart for this film giving me recognition of that.

#txt #incest tw #not in the movie canonly just a scene that had me going ??? #anyway i need to see if there's an original script available for it anywhere #bc i think ultimately it remains a nice movie for me personally #but there is a lot of surface level stuff i want more insight into in that sort of way #i think there were some behind the scenes videos on youtube forever ago at least for the filming process so #i should check those out maybe n look for any interviews i can find #just bc it intrigues meeee #omg im so upset worthpoint shows there had been a rly rad script listing for it #but this was honestly long before i ever actually saw it so i cant be too upset i Missed Out #i keep finding social media posts of ppl putting them up for sale but they all look so scammy and i missed out by a couple yrs :/ #JLKSDSFJ I MISSED ONE FROM A FEW MONTHS AGO the director posted it :| #i guess that gives me some hope

[wellntruly]

You possibly might or might not know, but in case you don't - there's a new (premiered this year) movie about Siegfried Sassoon called "Benediction". I haven't watched it and have no idea whether it's good. But it exists, so I thought you need to know.

Sincere apologies for the delay, I am actually still in the midst of a weeklong series of overnight guests, both family and friends, who all actually just invited themselves over. Left to my own choices I would not have in fact been looking for guests to come stay just yet at the place I only moved into about 1 month ago and am still in the deeply time-consuming and not yet fully unpacked process of trying to get set up, much less for eight consecutive days,

BUT BELIEVE YOU ME, have I still been keeping tabs on Benediction through all this!!

Because it had its world premiere at TIFF just at the start of this past selfsame week, so you are far from alone in having not seen it yet; no one has, only those who attended the festival in Toronto or are an accredited film journalist who was granted virtual screening access. We also, as far as I can tell, do not yet have a distributor outside of the UK market, much less release dates, and the possibility that this might be one of those movies that waits a year after festival premieres à la First Cow in 2019 seizes my heart.

Because Benediction, for anyone who is unaware, is a new work written & directed by the sad gay British filmmaker Terence Davies, who quietly ruined my life back in circa 2013 with the post-war Britain affair drama The Deep Blue Sea. Now he has turned his sights on sad gay shellshocked First World War poets Siegfried Sassoon & company, Noted Interest Of the Blog, and from what I have cautiously, delicately picked up from tweets and review headlines from a handful of trusted sad gay film critics, it is: sad and gay!

Also I've saved this for last but Sassoon's kind psychologist at Craiglockhart, Dr. Rivers, whom you will know well if you've read Pat Barker's Regeneration trilogy, is played in this film titled Benediction by sad gay The Exorcist priest and love of my life Ben Daniels, something so overwhelming to consider that I can't really, I just have this wrapped up in some soft wool and stored in a safe nook in my ribcage.

And that's where we're at re: Benediction, presently!

#I've actually thought about making a big fall festivals post #but as mentioned: all the houseguests #I mean I love you all but also let a woman rest! #hahh I am so sleep deprived #as evidenced.. upsidedownsmiley #Benediction #Terence Davies #Siegfried Sassoon #Ben Daniels #the First World War #The Deep Blue Sea #replies #purplecyborgnewt

[hypo-critic-al]

RANT:

Why I think costume design in Frankenstein: A New Musical sucks

please, this is just my stupid opinion, you are valid if you think of the costumes differently!

Have you ever Googled Frankenstein musical and while looking at the very few photos from the play you thought to yourself: ‘’Man, these actors look nothing like the characters in the animati-’’ I’m sorry, I meant: ‘’I don’t like their costumes.’’ Which is what exactly I thought.

If I had to describe the costume design in the said musical in one one word, I would have to quote my friend @the-gay-sailor​ on this: ‘’They are ugly.’’

The End, that’s exactly what I think, that’s all for tonight, good night.

Now for real, why are they ugly in the first place? For reasons I won’t explain, I rather won’t use the photos. If you want the link to the musical’s website, ask me for it in the comments.

Now, let’s start:

As someone who watched Karolina Zebrowska’s videos and whom entire knowledge on historically accurate clothing comes fom her videos, I can fully say, there is very little to none things that can be considered historically accurate.

You may ask: ‘’Well, but how do you know which time period is Frankenstein set in, huh?’’ Well, that’s a bit hard. I agree with other smarter people’s theories. The most important or the last moments of Frankenstein book are set in 1790’s. I won’t go into more details, I won’t talk about why this idea is wrong or good, let’s just say it is set in 1790’s.

Now, we got a time period, what’s next? Well, good question. I don’t know either.

Oh yeah, are costumes accurate to this era? A late 18th century? No. Not at all.

Even the Korean Frankenstein musical has more accurate costumes than this and if Korean Frankenstein musical is better at something than you, it’s a bad sign.

Now what do I see as more accurate costumes? What is my example on better and more practical costume design? I know not many people like this adaptation, I know there are more faithful adaptations of Frankenstein, and I see it’s flaws but we are talking about costumes now. The best costume design, well, at least for male characters, in Frankenstein adaptation I ever got to see was in ROH Frankenstein Ballet. If I wanted to explain why I think Frankenstein ballet costumes are superior, I would have to start writing another essay. In short: accuracy, practicallity on stage and they look nice.

If historical accuracy wasn’t their aim, than what was? I read an interview with a director where he said that faithfulness is what they are aiming for. Judging by the costumes it isn’t completely true.

Were they aiming for 18th century look? No. Were they aiming for 19th century? No. Were they aiming for steampunk? No, once again. Gothic? No. Dark academia? No. Or movies? I fear that the costume designer did not discussed the costume design with the director. Or even read the book. I get a feeling that the costume designer took an ispo from the movies. Yikes.

Elizabeth’s wedding dress. Creature’s significant look. Justine’s dress. I’m not even talking about the hairstyles, waste of time. The most pleasant looking costume is probably Victor’s, which is again, not saying much, because it looks like something from 21st century.

And don’t let me start on Henry. He is a priest apparently. He wears priest’s robes and a cross around his neck. Sigh.

It’s not accurate, it’s not pleseant to look at, it does not look good on the stage, every costume piece looks like done by another person, I don’t like it.

ROH Frankenstein Ballet done it better. Or look at Hamilton for example! It may not be fully historically accurate costume design, but you get a feel, a sense which time period it is set in. I hate to admit, Korean Frankenstein musical had much more accurate and better costumes than New Musical and me saying that Korean Frankenstein is superior than New Musical at something is hurting me.

Ah, a waste of time. I don’t even know what nice to say about those costumes.

But I hope that if they are making a revival they will know better.

End of this rant.

If you like the costumes, you are valid! I just wanted to diss them because they completely destroy the purpose of the whole musical.

That’s all for today. Thank you for stopping by!

#frankenstein a new musical #frankenstein #rant #costume design #frankenstein ballet #take this as a joke #kind of

[spnwatch]

Season 2: The Rankings

Whew. Oh boy.

They were still puttering about in season 1 to an extent. But now? Now they’ve really hit their stride. This season was a veritable chocolate box of delights and I ate my way through it. The overall myth arc was kind of nonsensical, but that emotional throughline? Christ. Spn buries SO MUCH emotional complexity into its leads, and they cashed in every cent in that two part finale. It packs one hell of a punch. And yeah, okay, I knew the broad strokes, the twists and turns. It’s hard not to be spoilered for a season of tv that aired over a decade ago. But reader! It mattered not!! I. Still. Wept. That’s when you know it’s the good kush.  1.) 2x12: NIGHTSHIFTER. This one just snagged the top spot by merit of its sheer ambition. Supernatural often feels like a very empty universe to me, just two guys and one car drifting from place to place. Which is fine, it makes for compelling TV, but they totally flipped the script here and this episode really dazzles precisely because of that contrast. It’s a huge, cinematic episode, a metropolitan setting full of uncontrollable elements, and it’s great to see Sam and Dean so profoundly vulnerable. The outside world is pressing up against the windows. They have sniper dots trained on them! They are, literally and figuratively, out of their depth! We’re not in Kansas any more, baby. God, I haven’t even mentioned the supporting characters. The entire mandroid rant deserves an Emmy. Victor Henrickson’s entrance! Heist movie antics! Agh!  10/10  

2.) 2x07: THE USUAL SUSPECTS. Again this episode was a cut above precisely because it showed us what the brothers look like from the outside: sketchy as all hell. It’s so good when reality ensures, because it’s great to be reminded they lead objectively insane lives! Through Linda Blair’s eyes we get to see just how unknowable, feral and amoral they appear to the eyes of polite society. Put under a microscope like this, they’re scary guys! They’re just not socialised like normal people. They don’t really care about being arrested, or about the felonies. Getting arrested is an irritant above everything else. They’re still working the case from the inside. They’re professionals; excellent liars, and totally in sync with each other. The handwritten notes they pass, like delinquent school kids! A delight! The thrill lies in watching Blair slowly unwrap their strange logic, and unravel the mystery of both the brothers and the ghost. Ugh, what a great perspective shift. I’m 100% here for it. 10/10 

 3.) 2x09: CROATOAN. Ugh, this setting. Small Town Gothic, complete with eerie mist, hostile locals and creepy Stepford vibes. Sam really shone in this episode. He’s so soothing and giant, and it made his suffering at the end all the more devastaing. The real reason this episode ranks so highly is their conversation in the surgery. It just killed me. Dean’s sheer, bone-deep exhaustion, his admission that he’s tired of the life. Sam’s despair, because he knows Dean won’t leave. The performances were so steller. I can’t even really think too deeply about it because it makes me too crazy. 10/10  

 4.) 2x21: ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE: PART ONE. I loved this finale so much more than the finale in Season 1, LOL. It might just be because I’m more invested now, who knows. The opening of this episode is a piece of art: Boston playing on the car stereo, the rain, the small cafe, the lighting. Gorgeous. I love when they have to interact with ordinary people! It adds so much: texture, humour, personality! It draws things out of Sam and Dean that we just don’t see when they have each other to bounce off of. It was so good to see Ava and Andy again. “I just woke up in freakin’ Frontierland!” The gang’s all here, folks! This episode would rank higher, but recieves minus points for the long boring speech the demon gives Sam, and killing off the first gay in the show 0.2 seconds after her introduction. Anyway. The ending of course unzipped me; Dean cradling Sam’s dead body, muttering “It’s okay, it’s not even that bad.” The elation of their reunion, so devastaingly cut short! Sam, twenty two years old, bleeding out in the mud. The sheer, hopelessness of it all. The horror. My notes for the end of the episode simply read: “Dean oh Christ. Oh my God. Oh no.” It’s just one of those scenes that stay with you long after the credits start rolling. 9/10   

5.) 2x20: WHAT IS AND WHAT SHOULD NEVER BE. I never thought I could be so profoundly upset by watching a man happily mowing a lawn. Dean’s trauma over the loss of his mother has undercut the whole show up until this point, and here it bursts to the fore. What really got me was the simplicity of it all. Just a sit-down dinner, an engagement. A beer on the porch. Fuck, he deserves it. He deserves everything. All the performances were great, they really served to show there’s a whole life in these AU characters. The fact it wasn’t all perfect was bizarrely more devastating. AU Sam’s weird straight hair and dorky jacket sealed the deal for me, as did his baffled terror in the warehouse. But even here, with no training and no idea what’s happening, he gets into the Impala! Because that’s his brother! Because I’m a huge baby I had to remove points because of how upsetting I found Sam’s quiet hostility towards Dean, HA. But that’s really just a testament to how well-realised their dynamic has become by the second season. 9/10  

 6.) 2x15: TALL TALES. Every single thing Sam does in any of Dean’s memories. Also alien slowdance set to “Lady in Red.” Also Bobby breaking them up like they’re petulant children. Gold, all of it gold. 9/10 

 7.)  2x11: PLAYTHINGS. So I’m a slut for a cool setting, obviously. Turns out, Supernatural did The Haunting of Bly Manor fifteen years ago. The swimming pool! The attic! Creepy dolls! The weird little playground! This episode has it all! I loved the saga between the ghost sister and the old lady, which would honestly make a killer movie in its own right. But I’m digressing. The main star of this episode was, of course, Dean’s profound and escalating sexual insecurities. “Well, you are kinda butch. People probably think you’re overcompensating.” FATALITY. I would’ve placed this one higher but the weird incestuous undertones kinda squicked me out... however, I did think we were meant to be creeped out by it, which is more than I can say for some other uh. Instances. It was, after all, beautifully paralelled at the end with the two sisters reuniting in death. “I can’t leave here, and you can’t leave me.” SHUDDER. Also, honestly, can Sam have one (1) breakdown on his own without Dean’s own emotional baggage taking over? Older siblings, smh. 9/10

8.) 2x22: ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE: PART TWO. This one ranks lower than part one purely because I thought the yellow-eyed demon’s overall plot was kinda nonsensical, and I cared not for John’s weird deux ex machina moment. Like do you expect me to feel sorry for that bitch? I don’t! Anyway, that being said, let’s move on to Dean’s eyes in the junkyard when Bobby asks him, “do you have that low an opinion of yourself?” They’re so flat. So dead, like a shark’s. He doesn’t need to say anything back, because it’s all over his face. That non-expression says it all. This is the culmination of the emotional arc that began with his savage beatdown of the Impala in episode 2x02. To call it survivor’s guilt wouldn’t even begin to cover what Dean goes through this episode. It’s all in Ackles’ performance; in the the way he yells, “What am I supposed to do now, Sammy?” The complete claustrophobia of it all. There’s nothing for it but to make the deal. Dean’s been moving inexorably towards this moment for the entire season. 9/10   

 9.) 2x13: HOUSES OF THE HOLY. What a kooky little episode! Magic fingers! Sam’s costcutter seance purchases! The scooby-doo placemat he uses as a makeshift altar! I love him, your honour. Obviously this episode has a lot of *~dramatic irony~* in it because of the later seasons, but it stands alone as a total banger. I was so gutted for Sam when the "angel” was revealed. So many good little Sam moments to be found in this episode. His soft, quiet little revelation that he prays every day. His awkward, earnest explanation to the horrified priest! Dean gets some great moments chasing down the would-be rapist down those dark, snow-covered streets. His speech to Sam where he explains his lack of belief is brief, but it’s a total gut punch. Rounding it off with Knockin on Heaven’s Door was just the cherry on top. 9/10 

 10.) 2x14: BORN UNDER A BAD SIGN. Ahaha I love the way Dean acts whenever Sam’s psychic powers come up. He treats him like a rebellious teen, it’s so funny. “What’s going on with you, Sam? Smokin’, drinkin’?” As if Sam’s behaviour was a) at all under his control or b) anything Dean wouldn’t HIMSELF do. Dean’s just like, this isn’t how I raised you! Truly hysterical. The whole sequence between Meg!Sam and Jo was fantastic and horrible. Sam’s huge physique is never threatening, but it really was in that moment. The interplay between them was totally spine-tingling. Meg’s impression Sam slowly crumbling away over the course of the episode was so compelling and I’m sure it will be a really fun rewatch now I know the *twist*. 9/10  

Favourite lines this season: 

The way Sam says “black cat’s bone” in 2x08

“You’re not gonna go kill somebody because a ghost told you to, are you insane?!” - Dean, 2x13

“Dean, this is a very serious investigation, we don’t have time for your blah blah blah blah.” - Sam (according to Dean), 2x15

“I’m fine, except for every single thing that’s happening.” - Ava, 2x21 

#I feel like I'm exposing myself as a sam girl here #I love them equally I swear #supernatural #there's so much i left out like my comprehensive love for JO #what does she have? A KNIFE #I just didn't really dig NO EXIT as an episode sadly #spnwatch

[awed-frog]

@humorlibrium​ - I can’t seem to reblog your post, but here are a few thoughts, sorry if it’s a bit rambling.

I have very limited knowledge here, but I agree with you on some points. I’d say gay men and gay women are ‘abnormal’ to society in very different ways. Very generally speaking (really: this is ridiculously broad), one of the big things in human societies is the simple and uncomfortable truth that for the survival of the species, you need women more than you need men.

(One man with five women equals - potentially - five children every two years; five men and one woman and you’re stuck with one child every two years.)

On the other hand, men tend to be more aggressive and more dangerous in a fight because of their size, muscle distribution, and ‘fuck this’ hormones - young men are especially bad at assessing risk to themselves or others, which is why we tend to recruit boys as young as possible (child soldiers in some cases, high schoolers in more ‘civilized’ countries).

In some ape species, this fundamental divide - that any society could function with one male breeder and a few dozen females but such a society would probably be vulnerable to outside attackers - is solved by controlling male sexuality just as much as female’s; only while females are forced to breed when in season, undesirable or weaker males are stopped from breeding, and basically kept around for defensive purposes, if at all. And I guess you could say some human societies work in the same way: young women are encouraged or forced to marry as soon as they hit puberty, while young men are used as labour or in the armed forces and will only be given a bride much later on.

Sometimes, keeping men from marrying also accomplishes other goals, most obviously connected to inheritance: in patriarchal societies, lands and titles are often split among sons (not daughters), which means you find yourself halving your family’s power every time you have to divide your wealth between two sons - annoying and counter-producitve on the long term. For this reason, the eldest son is usually the one getting the bigger prize (the crown or the family business), while younger brothers are forced or encouraged to leave the family - by emigrating, joining the army or the Church. By shipping off these other sons to entities that will support them financially, you thus ensure a) that you won’t have to, b) that your business or lands will stay intact in one person’s hands and c) that you’ll gain influence in those entities: being related to a cardinal, or even a village priest, can make a ton of difference.

All this to say: gay men are a ‘nuisance’ only from a psychological point of view, in that men ‘using other men like women’ negates the ‘natural’ concept that having a penis means anything and mostly triggers the fear other men will treat you the way you treat women (sexually and otherwise). But other than that, gay men are still ‘normal’ members of society: they can fight a bunch of Persians, they can work down a mine, and by not claiming a woman, they ‘leave her for the rest of us’ (you still hear this argument a lot as a reason to tolerate or even like gay men).

Gay women, on the other hand, are an aberration because by choosing not to take care of a man and not to have kids they’re basically refusing the one purpose they have in society. If a woman doesn’t have children and doesn’t submit to a man, what else is she supposed to do? She can’t have her own property, she can’t be educated, she can’t do most jobs and earn her own money. Unless she can be shipped off to a nunnery, she’s going to be a burden to her parents or hard-working brothers - and on top of everything else, she may well ‘corrupt’ another woman into ‘choosing’ this unproductive lifestyle.

(Just to be clear, I don’t agree with any of this.)

So in a way, gay men don’t disturb anything if they don’t come out as gay. The lone scientist working on his experiments, the career bachelor acting as a diplomat for his country, the unmarried soldiers dying in wars by the thousands, the good craftsman married to his craft - ultimately, we don’t care, as a society, if they were attracted to women or not. But the spinster aunt sitting in someone else’s drawing room all day? Lesbian or not, that’s plain unnatural.

EDIT

Here are the tags I was using on that other post I couldn’t post:

As an addendum, I’d say this is again different because you were talking about representation in the media. Very tentatively, I’d say you also see more gay men in fiction 1) because there are simply more men in fiction and we tend to write stories based around male characters, 2) because the female audience relates to gay male characters a lot for various reasons and 3) because those characters are less ‘dangerous’ to society as a whole - as I wrote, there’s this idea that women can easily be ‘tempted into lesbianhood’ (good sex! no more washing stinky socks! no screaming toddlers! money! endless lingerie supply! swapping mascara! dates now consist of sipping pumpkin spice frappuccinos and shopping instead of watching boring movies where things explode!) while men are not in any danger (who will cook for them? why choose a lifetime of sticking eggplants up your butt? and imagine the horror of writing birthday cards to your own parents instead of having a wife do it for you). 

The absolute win, of course, if what many are doing right now: male characters who’re gay if you blink, but in a way that’s not canon and doesn’t threaten anyone. And as for lesbian characters, well - there’s porn for that.

#lgbt issues #lgbt representation #feminism #gender roles #gender stereotypes #random thoughts #lesbians problems #the nightmare of the childless woman #the wonders of the childless man #i hope this makes sense #i'm functioning on little sleep today

[incomprehensiblelentils]

Lentils’ 2020 Christmas Movie Rankings

My wife and I watched a lot of Christmas movies this year, and I thought it would be fun to rank them based on which ones I think were most watchable and enjoyable. I’ve left out a few that we watched during this time period, which are classic Christmas movies (Miracle on 34th Street), action movies set at Christmas (Kiss Kiss Bang Bang and Iron Man 3), or older romances set around Christmas (While You Were Sleeping and You’ve Got Mail), because it’s not fair to rank these amongst, well, some of the movies we saw.

my top 5, for those of you who don’t like reading (which is fair): The Princess Switch: Switched Again, Dashing in December, The Princess Switch, Jingle Jangle, Happiest Season.

my top 3 Chaotic Christmas Movies: A New York Christmas Wedding, 12 Pups of Christmas, The Princess Switch: Switched Again. Please watch these movies if you enjoy chaotic plots. Please especially watch the first two I listed because holy shit my summaries do not properly convey the chaos.

The Princess Switch: Switched Again (2020): Some people on the internet have been VERY RUDE about this movie and I’m sorry they don’t appreciate a true chaotic holiday gem when they see it. This movie involves two Vanessa Hudgenses, Scheduled Vanessa and Spontaneous Vanessa, who are distant cousins and not twins, switching places to try to facilitate Spontaneous Vanessa getting back together with her ex the baker, but Scheduled Vanessa is intercepted by a third cousin Vanessa, Horny Vanessa, who wants to take Spontaneous Vanessa’s place as queen. I don’t want to spoil anything that happens in this movie so that you can experience the batshittery for yourself, but I found every second absolutely delightful. It also has two very good romantic couples who are cute and who genuinely seem to like each other, which is not something I can say for every movie on this list!

Dashing in December (2020): This movie has gay cowboys, is set on a ranch, and features a squaredancing scene, so if that isn’t your bag, you are probably not going to like it very much. I found it deeply charming and the only reason it isn’t #1 is that three quarters of the way through, the lead suddenly turns back into a giant jerk for no real reason and that was very upsetting. But it all works out in the end. The main romance is very cute, there are horses, the horsemanship doesn’t totally suck ass, and there are some fun side characters. It’s not reinventing the wheel, but it’s pleasant.

The Princess Switch (2018): Again, some people are mean about this movie and they shouldn’t be because it is CUTE GODDAMMIT. It is absolutely The Prince and the Pauper but with two Vanessa Hudgenses, but also, it shows the aforementioned two good romantic couples falling in love and they are delightful. I am not saying this is a great masterpiece of romance, but the filmmakers actually tried to give these characters reasons to like each other, which, again, is not true for some of the movies on this list.\

Jingle Jangle (2020): I kind of feel bad putting this movie on the same list as TV movies that were obviously just shit out by Hallmark or whoever, because this clearly had a lot of love and heart put into it, and it really shows. I was so immediately charmed by this movie that I didn’t even mind when it immediately went in very silly directions. I don’t know if the plot makes sense at all (a cute robot shows up for seemingly no reason other than that cute robots are fun!) but it doesn’t have to, because everyone is having so much fun and there’s so much joy in this movie that I was just happy to be along for the ride. Also, I would love to see an entire movie in the stop-motion style from the opening scene.

Happiest Season (2020): I absolutely understand why some people didn’t like this movie, and I don’t want anyone to feel like they can’t dislike it, and also, it’s MY movie, and I love it, and I’m not interested in fighting about it. It helped me come out to my parents and also featured two of my faves kissing and that’s all I need. 

Noelle (2019): I was previously under the impression this movie was bad, and I don’t know why, because it’s a little embarrassing and cheesy at times, but it’s sweet. I suspect what will make or break it for you is if you like Anna Kendrick, and because I like Anna Kendrick, I like watching her play a neurotic Claus sibling trying desperately to fix the problem she accidentally caused. One weird thing though: this movie tried to convince me about halfway through that she was both spoiled and selfish, and I don’t actually think that’s true at all. I think she was a little naive and sheltered and wanted people to like her way too much, but she’s not really shown to be a selfish person - she’s constantly paying attention to other people in the real world and her brother is the one who refused to admit that he wasn’t cut out for the Santa gig and instead fucked off to “find himself” or whatever. It was weird! But anyway, I liked this movie a lot.

I’ll Be Home For Christmas (1998): So this movie...one Christmas Eve when I was in high school, I was having trouble falling asleep for whatever reason so I went downstairs to get some water. My mom happened to have the TV on and this movie was just starting, and she invited me to join her. Fun fact: this movie went to theaters and it stars Jonathan Taylor-Thomas and Jessica Biel. It is one of the dumbest movies I’ve ever seen in my life and at no point does anyone in it actually behave like a human being. It’s about a smooth-talking jackass who has to be bribed to come home for Christmas and then, after one of his dumbass moneymaking schemes lands him in hot water, he gets abandoned in the middle of the California desert wearing a Santa suit and glued-on beard. He then has to beg, lie, and cheat his way home for Christmas dinner so that his dad will give him a vintage Porsche they fixed up together. I have no defense for this character; he is insufferable and only becomes marginally less so by the end of the film. But also, I have to watch this movie every year (usually with my mom, although not this year for obvious reasons) or it doesn’t feel like Christmas. 

A Cinderella Story: Christmas Wish (2019): We own this on DVD and have seen it three times. In our defense, we wanted to support Gregg Sulkin from Runaways and Isabella Gomez from One Day at a Time, both of whom feature prominently in this movie, and also sing songs. This is just Cinderella But At Christmas, and if that doesn’t sound like fun to you, I don’t think anything I can say will change your mind. I will say that the songs are amusingly autotuned, there’s a disabled dog that’s very cute, and I personally think that the leads have slightly better chemistry than some of the pairs on this list. But it is literally just another Cinderella Story movie.

The Knight Before Christmas (2019): This movie is Thor (2011) But At Christmas, and it would have been slightly higher except I always forget about the plot where at the end the knight becomes a cop. Bad, obviously! But anyway, the plot of this movie is: nice but clueless dude crash-lands on Earth for Reasons and bumbles around trying to figure out what’s up, while falling in love with a nice lady. That’s just Thor and you know I’m right. And for as dumb as this movie is, at least it’s ambitious. I have learned that Christmas movies can do one of two things to please me: a) have actors that have decent chemistry and charm and are fully committed to whatever nonsense is going on, or b) have absolutely batshit chaotic plots. This movie is like a 4 out of 5 on the chaos scale and I like it a lot, besides the copaganda. I hope this also gets made into a trilogy and Cole isn’t a cop anymore.

A Christmas Prince 3: The Royal Baby (2019): I will get into my problems with the first two Christmas Prince movies later, but my main criticism is that they are kind of boring and not chaotic enough. This one decided to make up for that by incorporating a missing ancient treaty, a curse, and a ghost, as well as a subplot about Girl Power (I use this semi-ironically) and a subplot about cousin Simon potentially committing treason again. I was so excited that things were happening in this movie the first time I watched it that I may be a little biased, but oh well. Oh, I was also absolutely terrified it was going to be racist and it is...mostly not? There are a few questionable moments but like mostly it’s fine.

Christmas With the Prince (2018): I wanted to watch this because the summary on Netflix did not match the summary on Google at all, and that’s because, uh, they’re both sort of right? Ostensibly this movie is about a pediatric oncologist who comes back into contact with an old almost-flame, who just happens to be the prince of a tiny European country, because he fucked up his leg and needs somewhere private to stay. And apparently a pediatric oncology ward is the best place for that? But then after they fall in love this random Russian lady shows up and is like “that’s my fiance.” This happens maybe twenty minutes from the end. Anyway, this movie isn’t great but I liked the lead guy way more than I thought I would and it has some cute kids in it.

A New York Christmas Wedding (2020): I...am at a loss for words to describe this...motion picture. On the surface it is a cute idea: a young Black woman, Jennifer, is getting married to her boyfriend on Christmas Eve, but she’s given a chance by her guardian angel (stay with me) to go back in time and redo her life, after losing touch with her childhood best friend, Gabrielle, who she was always in love with but never confessed her feelings to. She wakes up in an alternate timeline, where she and Gabrielle have been together for years and her beloved father is still alive. Then the movie, uh...veers off into some very odd places! They go to their Catholic priest and ask him to marry them, and he is like “but the Bible” and they are like “but that’s bullshit” and he’s like “shrug” and then later during a sermon he’s like “actually that IS bullshit, everyone gay in this church come stand up here with me. We love you. Also we’re going to perform a wedding now” and then he marries Jennifer and Gabrielle. And then Jennifer’s angel shows up and is like “you have to choose between this life and your old life now” and then uh...I really hate to spoil this next thing. It is the weirdest choice I’ve ever seen a movie make and if you’re even the slightest bit interested in this movie, I think you should experience this plot point for yourself. I’m going to put the batshit spoiler in ROT13 in case you want to avoid spoiling yourself. (GJ: fhvpvqr) Wraavsre'f thneqvna natry erirnyf gung ur vf gur fba bs Tnoevryyr, jub va gur bevtvany gvzryvar tbg certanag nf n grra naq ure snzvyl frag ure gb n ahaarel. Fur zvfpneevrq naq fhofrdhragyl qvrq ol fhvpvqr. Uvf anzr vf Nmenry Tnovfba. Anyway, uh, this movie isn’t very good, unfortunately, the adult leads have no chemistry and Gabrielle’s adult self is actively unlikable (the teen versions of them are cute!), but I think it’s 1000% worth a watch for the sheer chaos of it all. I...recommend it for that, I guess? Oh, also there’s a sex scene that plays a slow sexy version of “O Christmas Tree” in the background and I felt like I was losing my mind. 

A Christmas Prince: The Royal Wedding (2018): As I said in my commentary on the third movie in this series, the worst sin this movie commits is being kind of boring. It also manages to make the romantic hero, Richard, even worse than in the first movie, where he was just kind of useless and petulant, because in this movie he is actively failing to do anything to revive the failing economy of his country. I have seen people complain that the prince in The Princess Switch and Cole in The Knight Before Christmas have no personalities; they are delightful compared to the wet paper bag of a man in this movie. Rose McIver is adorable and I don’t think any of this is her fault, she’s doing her best in these movies, but woof.

12 Pups of Christmas (2019): The Google summary of this movie, which we found on Hulu, is this: “Struggling to keep his dog GPS locator company afloat, Martin expects his new hire, Erin, to help him save the company and find homes for 12 puppies that were left behind after a photo shoot. As they work together, Erin and Martin begin to discover each other's positive qualities and find love just in time for the holidays.” My wife and I love dogs, so we put this on, expecting cute dogs. This movie contains approximately 80% chaos and 20% cute dogs. It opens with our heroine, a canine therapist, coming home from work to have dinner with her fiance and best friend. We find out that Erin and fiance are moving to California soon for her new job (they live in New York). Fast forward a few days to their courthouse wedding, at which point her fiance and best friend confess to having an affair, and she is dumped. Heartbroken, she moves to California alone, and ends up moving into the company-provided house. It is just a two-story house (??) that the CEO’s sister owns (???) and rents out to employees (????). Also Erin is, as the Google summary says, expected to come up with some grand idea to save the company. And there are 12 random puppies also. They are cute puppies. Oh, also Martin, the CEO of the dog collar company, hates dogs for some reason. Martin’s sister is aggressively friendly towards Erin in a way that I interpreted as sapphic. At one point, after they find a home for dog #3, Erin’s former BFF shows up on her doorstep (?????) begging to be let in. She insists that the fiance was also two-timing her, and she has proof that he had FIVE OTHER GIRLFRIENDS ALL AROUND THE COUNTRY - “that’s why he’s a traveling businessman”!!!! Erin never asks to see her proof, but I guess she believes her, because she lets her inside and then makes her take care of the remaining eight dogs out of spite. I guess they make up at some point. Anyway, somewhere in here Erin and Martin are starting to fall in love and also come up with a way to rebrand the business, so hooray for them. We also learn that the reason Martin hates dogs is that his beloved childhood dog, uh, ran away? Disappeared? Got eaten? He insists that “not knowing [what happened to him] was the worst part,” but I was out here expecting to see the child finding an actual dead dog like it’s John Wick or something so this was a little anticlimactic. They go on a business trip to New York talk with Important Japanese Investors, during which they fuck (it is? romantic? allegedly?), and then the morning of their meeting Erin’s shitty ex shows up in the hotel lobby to bother her. Martin decks him square in the face for not leaving her alone, and then someone calls the cops, because I guess this movie said ACAB, and both dudes get arrested and Erin has to do the presentation alone. And then in the last five minutes Martin gets out of jail and Erin says that she gave the presentation to the investors...in English, and their translator was twenty minutes late, and so the investors understood none of what she said. Thankfully we are spared actually seeing this “joke,” but they do play racist music over her explanation. Then Martin reconnects with his rich dad who bails out the company instead, and also he adopts the four remaining dogs. This movie was fucking bananas and very bad and I need more people to understand exactly how bad. Watch this movie.

A Nutcracker Christmas (2016): Amy Acker has two Christmas movies and this one seemed more palatable than Dear Santa, so here we are. I like to watch Amy Acker be cute and dance, and she has an adorable teenage niece in this movie that she’s helped raise. In this movie she’s a former ballet dancer whose sister (hilariously, one of the Wynonna Earp lesbians) died in a tragic car accident, and she never got to dance the part of the Sugarplum Fairy. Spoiler alert: she gets to by the end of the movie. Unfortunately the love interest is basically Satan incarnate and does not deserve her at all, so unless you like yelling at romantic leads I can’t really recommend it. 

Godmothered (2020): This movie is just, uh, Enchanted but worse, and also it should have been sapphic and it isn’t? Poor Jillian Bell is doing her best and is adorable, but it’s not enough to save this movie for me. If Disney were not cowards she would have fallen in love with single mom Isla Fisher. Oh, it also ends with the very white younger daughter doing a public cover of “Rise Up” by Andra Day that the audience joins in on, which, considering its use in the BLM movement the last couple years, felt, uh, not great to me.

A Christmas Prince (2017): It’s maybe not far to compare this to the rest of the Netflix Christmas Cinematic Universe, because it was the originator. But also, it’s pretty boring. Sorry. Simon, or Fiddles (Fake Hiddles/Tom Hiddleston) is the best character.

Married by Christmas (2016): Apparently an alternate title for this is The Engagement Clause, which is sort of funny. Anyway, this has Jes Macallan and we, being big fans of Legends of Tomorrow, lost our shit when we found this on Christmas Day and had to watch it. The plot is that Jes’ character runs the family business, but their shitty grandma died and left a clause in her will where the business goes to the husband of whichever granddaughter gets married first. You would think that Jes’ sister and her fiance would postpone their Christmas Eve wedding to give Jes time to set up some kind of platonic wedding for business purposes, since Jes’ entire life is this stupid business, but nope, they immediately turn into monsters who are determined to get their hands on the business for ???? reasons???? It’s not very good, as you can tell by how low it is on the list. Jes Macallan is not a convincing straight businesswoman. I wouldn’t even really enjoy this movie as an Avalance AU.

A Princess for Christmas (2011): Here we are, the worst one Christmas movie I watched this year. I don’t actively harbor any ill will towards Katie McGrath, although I confess to feeling a bit “her?” but it’s fine. I was hoping this movie would enlighten me to her appeal. Instead, this movie actively got on my nerves in multiple ways, including trying to pass Katie McGrath off as a normal American retail worker instead of an Irish vampire/sorceress/supervillain/fairy/whatever she is. Her accent is shockingly awful, which I’m not sure is actually her fault, is there a reason her family wasn’t just British? That wouldn’t have saved the movie but it would have made it just slightly more palatable. At every turn it makes the worst choices, including a scene where Katie’s character puts on a rap song and she and the prince dance to it in an attempt to show them “loosening up,” and then the mean grandfather comes in and demands that they “turn this ghetto music off.” YIKES. I know these movies are the whitest movies ever by design but was that racism necessary? The only Black people I actually saw in this movie were some of the servants, I think? Speaking of the servants, at the end of the movie there’s a grand ball and Katie’s dress gets fucked up, and she’s about to leave the country, and then the servants are like “don’t go! We pooled our money to buy you another nice dress!” which, also yikes! This movie has a real classism problem. It also was so boring I zoned out of it multiple times, and I have sat through Manos: The Hands of Fate and Birdemic multiple times. This movie has no chaos whatsoever and I hated all the characters. 0/10 do not recommend under any circumstances.

#christmas #sometimes I write things

[erekuri]

OK BIG BRAIN TIME! Joker Game x BABYMETAL AU

For anyone who may not know who BABYMETAL is, they are a Japanese idol group/metal band with 2 (formerly 3) members. They are popular for the way they combine Japanese idol cuteness with heavy metal, and some have dubbed their style “kawaii metal.” Their music is amazing for real please check it out! 

BABYMETAL are loved in Japan and around the world, and they’ve met many big names in metal/rock such as Metallica, Judas Priest, and Dragonforce. They have choreography in their songs and their performances are really fun to watch :D

So, I was in the shower when this idea came to me. Since originally they had 3 members, I was thinking that the 160 cm trio of Miyoshi, Hatano, and Jitsui would be well-suited for this. BABYMETAL also consists of a band, so the other 5 spies would be in said band, and Yuuki would be the manager. So it’ll look like this:

IDOLS:

Miyoshi (center/lead vocalist)

Hatano (vocalist/rapper)

Jitsui (main vocalist)

BAND:

Kaminaga (drums/waidako)

Tazaki (keyboard/piano)

Fukumoto (lead guitar/violin)

Odagiri (bass guitar/cello/harp/acoustic)

Amari (secondary guitar/trumpet/saxophone) 

IDOLS:

By center, I mean that Miyoshi will almost always be at the center of their photos and is deemed as the ‘main member.’ (In K-pop terms, think of visuals and centers such as Yoona from Girls’ Generation or Kai from EXO.) He’s the member who will usually take the lead in interviews because he’s the oldest, though all 3 seem to have drunk from the fountain of youth lol. Jitsui is the main vocalist, so he gets the most lines as well as the high notes if the song has one. Hatano gets the least, but generally the line distribution is even enough that there are little complaints. He will also rap on occasion (think Linkin Park or Hollywood Undead) but most of their songs are singing-based. Hatano and Miyoshi will also do adlibs while Jitsui is known for his stunning vocal runs. Even though Jitsui is their main vocalist, Miyoshi is the one who gets put in the center of their dance formations more often. 

Ah right, their voices. (Since I am more familiar with K-pop rather than J-pop vocalists, they’ll be my main references here. My apologies in advance.)

Jitsui is the main vocalist. He needs a sweet voice to compliment his sweet face, but it’s also gotta be powerful. Ryeowook from Super Junior would be the perfect fit here, because it’s got this sweet tone to it but also nice and clear and the high notes would sound like a literal choir of angels. 

Miyoshi’s vocal color would be like Suho from EXO. Clear and sweet and comforting. His falsettos are the most flawless thing you’ve ever heard, and the emotion he puts into his singing is on another level. His voice is, in a word, PRETTY.

Since Hatano does both vocals and rap, I’m thinking his vocal color would be like Key from SHINee. With that higher tone he has, it suits Hatano’s appearance and personality wonderfully. Both his singing and rapping are amazing and he likes to scream sometimes to hype up the crowd lol.

(All vocalists mentioned are from SM Entertainment groups,,, damn, I really said SINGERS ONLY and I really like all 3 choices I made omg. MY MIND.)

(In the real BABYMETAL, member Su-metal sings the majority but I am not deep enough in the fandom to know how fans feel about it. I don’t mind too much since the songs slap either way lmao. And I think the balance is nice but that’s just me. However, for the 160cm trio, I had to even it up because I am someone who typically prefers more even line distributions when it comes to idol groups.)

As for their dancing, BABYMETAL’s choreography is a unique one where 1 is center and the other 2 are backup. For my AU, however, I’d make the choreo more like EXO-CBX in that it’s suited for 3 people, while also taking notes from Super Junior (for their earlier metal songs) or Dreamcatcher (for their famous ‘anime-style’ music.) 

BAND:

Because they’re a metal group, Kaminaga will almost always be on the drum kit, and by God he is good at it. The drum kit he uses is one you’ll see in most metal bands, but he also uses an auxiliary drum kit (which is electrical and has sensors and stuff) for the group’s more experimental tracks. When they want to go something more traditional or epic, he’ll bring out his wadaiko (traditional Japanese drum) and go at it. He’s also the unofficial leader of the band. 

Tazaki plays the keyboard. I personally envision Tuomas from Nightwish when I think of this position, but there are other keyboard players in metal bands out there that are fun to watch. Tazaki is generally a calm person, but when he plays he headbangs like crazy. He’ll play the piano when they do softer songs, and his pretty fingers are mesmerizing to watch. Oh yeah, and the keyboard he uses is a synthesizer due to the underlying ‘pop’ aspect in their music, considering it’s for an idol group.

Fukumoto would be the main/lead guitarist. He’d get pretty much all the solos (though Amari might join in as the secondary guitarist). He’s hailed as one of the best guitarists of all time, and he plays a major role in the musical arrangements of the songs. He’s also a prodigy when it comes to the violin, which he’ll sometimes use instead of his guitar for a more ‘symphonic’ sound. In reality, he’ll switch between them as he sees fit. 

Odagiri is the reliable bass guitar; underrated, but without them, the song just isn’t the same. As the bass player, he helps to balance out the guitars. He plays the cello when they want a jazzier theme or an orchestra kind of sound, and when they go the traditional route, in comes the harp. When the boys want to sing an acoustic version of their songs to show off their vocals, Odagiri will be the one to play the acoustic guitar to accompany them.

Amari is the secondary guitarist, and arguably the most versatile player in the band. He can not only play the electric guitar, but he can also play the trumpet and the saxophone. Their jazz songs would require them to be in the same song, but he can switch between the two easily enough, provided he’s given enough time to transition (otherwise he’ll simply use a pre-recording of one while playing the other live.) When a song requires both violin and guitar, Amari will take the role of the lead guitar while Fukumoto plays violin.

(The instruments mentioned are their main ones, though I’m sure they could all play more if they wanted to. I just don’t have the brain cells to spare for this lol. Maybe some other time I can give more thought to the band, but I’m ok with what I have for now. Besides, most metal bands will have 1 person per instrument or will bring in a whole orchestra, so what I have is farfetched ngl, and yet I like it because the D-Agency boys are just so talented at anything they try hehe)

OTHERS:

As stated earlier, Yuuki would be their manager. He is known to all as just “Yuuki.” He is the one who brought the group together, as the trio were originally part of an idol group but were mostly in the back, while the others were notable musicians who had no band to belong to. In his prime, he was an acclaimed songwriter and producer, but he’s also super happy doing what he does as a manager/producer for the 160cm trio and the band. He fought tooth and nail for the formation of this group and is more than satisfied with their explosive popularity. He will often clash with the CEO of their label, IG Productions, because he refuses to let them hold back the band’s growth. 

Now, y’all may be wondering… where is Sakuma??? 

Sakuma, Gamo Jirou, Yuriko Nogami, and Miyoko Yasuhara are all well-respected actors under the same agency (not IG but another one lol.) 

Yuriko and Miyoko are mostly in theatre, but Yuriko is a recurring favorite in J-dramas while Miyoko is popular in movies. 

Jirou is super versatile, and he’d be kinda like Robert Pattinson in the sense that he will often make fun of the stuff he’s been in. He likes to take on bizarre roles that test his limits as an actor, and his range is pretty much unmatched. He’s recognizable but people will still lose themselves in his brilliant acting. He is more often seen in movies, but sometimes he’ll star in a drama, especially one where he plays a villain/antagonist or a second-lead.

Sakuma is another J-drama favorite, and he has a legion of fangirls; as of late, those fangirls include aunties who love his clean and respectable image. He made headlines once when he shaved his head for a role as a soldier because it was such a shock that he looked as handsome as ever. He loves being in movies with a lot of angst/sad endings, and don’t get me started on how sad some of the dramas he’s in can be. And as a bonus, his characters almost always die and oof it really breaks people’s hearts. Occasionally, he’ll take on a more light-hearted role such as a friendly teacher. 

Sakuma and Gamo are both openly gay, and many fangirls will wish for them to find boyfriends because they want these actors to be happy. They have starred in movies together and their friendship off-screen can be considered ‘iconic.’ Fans ship them platonically. 

Sakuma would also be a major fanboy of the D-Agency band, and Miyoshi is easily his favorite member. He attends their concerts in disguise because he has a reputation, damn it. One time he dragged his actor friends along, and Gamo fell for Jitsui HARD. Meanwhile, Yuriko eventually starts a romance with the bassist, Odagiri, when she wanders backstage by accident on her way to the restroom. (Sakuma is jealous as fuck that she managed to get backstage but he won’t admit it.)

Alain, Marie, Jean, and Johann are all foreign celebrities, who are all wildly popular in Japan. Marie would be a popular actress who travels to Japan to participate in a film (directed by Jean, a highly-respected director) that takes place there. It’d be a collaboration project between a French studio and a Japanese one. Alain would be a famous pop artist in France, and his songs can be meaningful and uplifting or super raunchy and inappropriate as hell, no in-between. He goes to Japan because he’s interested in their newest idol/heavy metal fusion group. Johann is a talented lyricist/producer and he prefers to write songs for other people and avoid the drama that comes with being a celebrity. Alain drags him to Japan because why not?

END:

Back to the band, their debut song would be ‘Reason Triangle’. ‘Double’ would be for a J-drama collab in which Sakuma finally gets to meet his favorite group (???) idk but their discography would also include songs like:

Taking Off - ONE OK ROCK

Fukagyaku Replace - My First Story

Take Off - 2PM

Cosmic Railway - EXO

CORE PRIDE - UVERworld

Signal- TK from Ling tosite sigure

FEED THE FIRE - coldrain

Kyouran Hey Kids!! - THE ORAL CIGARETTES

And that’s all I can think of for this AU. I can’t believe I wrote so much but this idea just wouldn’t leave my head so I had to write it all down. I hope y’all enjoy my ramblings lol. 

#joker game anime #joker game #joker game au #jga #miyoshi #hatano #jitsui #kaminaga #tazaki #fukumoto #odagiri #amari #yuuki #sakuma #gamo jirou #gamou #alain lernier #marie torres #jean victor #johann bauer #d agency #idol au #i spent too much time on this shit #will i ever write this? probably not

[tokumusume]

tokumusume’s list of best and worst movies and dramas watched in 2019:

There’s a new category this year. Inspired by kpopalypse, welcome the Honorable Mentions! Movies that weren’t exactly bad but also weren’t good. Movies and dramas are qualified to enter if I watched them for the first time this year, not that they were released this year. Click on ‘keep reading’~~

Best Movies:

1.      Parasite

Another masterpiece from the director of Snowpiercer (let’s pretend Okja never existed). A poor family con their way to a rich household. Choi Woo-Shik from The Witch (see below) is the eldest son and mastermind, fabulous as always. Definitely the best movie of this year. For me, movie of the decade.

2.      The Witch Part 1 The Subversion

This movie is amazing, hard to describe without spoilers. A perfect mix of Stranger Things and Hanna. Choi Woo-Shik can come to my house and kick my ass anytime. I can’t wait for part two.

3.      Death Trance

Visually stunning, kinda like Amemiya Keita’s style in early Garo or Mad Max. I wish the movie was longer and the characters were better fleshed out, Ryuen the monk and the little girl had so much potential... The most interesting thing about this movie is how sexualized the main male character is compared to the female ones, and apparently, the swords were designed to look like veiny penises (can’t find a source for this info), and yes, they do look like veiny penises. The final showdown is heavy with sexual energy. Have I already said that Ryuen deserved better? #RyuenRights

4.      Gintama 2: Rules are made to be broken

The barber shop scene is a fucking cinematic masterpiece. I never laughed so much like I did with this movie. The way it doesn’t take itself seriously, the meta jokes, everything is perfect. Even better than the first one.

5.      Kingdom

While I think that some fight scenes were way too long (like the bamboo forest one), the dynamics between Shin and Hyou/Eisei were highly entertaining, at least in my shipper eyes. I like that (SPOILER) the King of the Mountain People is a woman and not once they try to call her Queen. She is a King. Hashimoto Kanna is adorable as a Ten, Kanata Hongo does a great job as Eisei’s psycho brother, Sakaguchi Tak waves his sword around, the usual stuff but with added layers of dirt and sweat.

6.      Bravestorm

A movie I lovingly call “Japanese Pacific Rim”. Full of Kamen Rider stars (Hino Eiji! Misuzawa Haruka! That girl from Heisei Generations, the one with a sword! She has a sword in this as well!) and giant robots (god, I love giant robots!), I waited so much for this movie and it exceeded my expectations. I just wish I could’ve watched in theaters, it had a limited showing in my country.

7.      Twelve Suicidal Children

What begins as a murder mystery ends with a twist you won’t see coming. All of the actors are amazing, but special mention to Sugisaki Hana and that guy from that one boy group I forgot the name but can’t be bothered to Google.

8.      Gakkou Gurashi

Four girls and their teacher try to survive the zombie apocalypse trapped inside the school. This one destroyed me for days.

9.      Forest of Love

I’ve watched some Sono Sion movies but nothing prepared me for this. Be aware of extremely gory sequences and sensitive topics. Hinami Kyoko is so amazing as blue-haired, punk girl crush Taeko that I totally didn’t notice she was AkibaBlue in Akibaranger.

10.  The Host

After watching Parasite I decided to go on a Bong Joon Ho binge and watched this horror movie. Not as good as Snowpiercer and Parasite in my opinion but heart-wrenching nevertheless. The little girl is the star of the movie.

11.  The Hungry Lion

A story about the dangers of social media and slut-shaming. I want to punch Mizuishi Atom in the face.

12.  Cromartie High

A little absurd comedy about yakuza-style high school boys (played by middle-aged men lol) forming a club to battle aliens summoned by themselves just because. It made me laugh like a child. A hidden gem.

Honorable Mentions:

1.      River’s Edge

Depressing as fuck. Warning: the cats die. It’s not graphic but it’s traumatizing. Yoshizawa Ryo is a gay boy who sleeps with old men for money. There’s a graphic sex scene (not Yoshizawa, sadly) where my only thought was “That thing is gonna get stuck in there! Use a condom!” Can’t remember much from it except for these three scenes.

2.      The Disastrous Life of Saiki K

Yamazaki Kento has the acting chops of a dead fish but it comes handy for playing a teen with psychic abilities and zero social skills. Hashimoto Kanna is one of the prettiest girls in Japan. Yoshizawa Ryo with white and blueish hair looks more like Sakata Gintoki than Oguri Shun in the Gintama live action. The end is a huge let down but the fun ride is worth it.

3.      Ano ko no, Toriko

Congratulations to Yoshizawa Ryo, he has FIVE movies in my list of favorite movies this year! This is to make up for crowning GIVER as the biggest waste of time of 2018, this list is totally not biased, lol. “Ano ko” could be just another romance movie but the (very) little insight into how the entertainment industry works and not focusing on school life made me love it. Poor Sugino Yosuke being left behind again, when will this boy get the main girl?

4.      Monstrum

It doesn’t reinvent the wheel but it’s pleasant enough to fill a rainy afternoon with a lot of blood and spilled guts. Hyeri of Girl’s Day is the heroine and Choi Woo Shik is the commander she falls in love with.

5.      Weirdo Go

I confess I watched this one just to see Ji Li (aka my snake son Nie Huaisang) dressed as a woman but it was enjoyable and not that problematic.

6.      Real - Kanzen Naru Kubinagaryu no Hi

Directed by the same guy that did “Creepy” and “Before we vanish”, there are lots of twists you won’t see coming. And a dinosaur. A fucking dinosaur.

7.      Tomodachi Game: The Final

The movie loses its focus halfway through then picks up again minutes before ending. Yoshizawa Ryo delivers again as the sadistic Yuuichi, much like his role in Gintama. The plot twists are the star of the movie.

8.     The Living Dead

Sorry Wen Ning. I saw the plot twist coming in the first 30 minutes of the movie, not very smart of the writer. His personality did a 180° turn for worse and I’ll demote the movie to an honorable mention for it. Gao Han is cute though, I would like to see him as a better character.

9.      Backstreet Girls

Some recycled scenes from the drama to situate the viewers, a completely new story for the movie, it is certainly funny and enjoyable, if you can get past the forced gender reassignment surgery background and transphobic jokes (you shouldn’t get past it btw). I like the soundtrack.

Best Dramas:

1.      The Untamed

Do I need to say more?

2.      The Tale of Nokdu

This Korean romance had everything to be a mess but it wasn’t!!! *claps* I don’t hate the main female character and the whole palace politics actually kept me interested until the end. The complete shift of atmosphere mid-season was strange at first but ultimately very welcomed.

3.      The Naked Director

Netflix original Japanese content is amazing. This one is a look at the life of a legendary porn director in the late 80s, I learned a lot about the history of Japanese porn and censorship (yay pixels!) and went looking for his, erm, works. Very graphic, 69/10 don’t recommend watching with people in the house.

4.      Channel wa Sonomama!

I don’t remember it well but it’s about a news station and what is like to be a journalist and it was very interesting and funny.

5.      SCAMS

Forgettable. Sugino Yosuke with black hair cons old people via phone calls.

Worst Movies and Dramas:

1.      The cat in their arms

The cats spend 90% of the movie in human forms, and halfway through it they simply abandon the cats’ plot to show a fucking long montage of a weird guy painting a picture of a nude girl. It’s also super creepy to see a grown-up man acting like a cat, getting belly rubs and eating cat food from a bowl. Yoshizawa needs to choose his roles more wisely.

2.      Tonari no Kaibutsu-kun

A waste of Suda Masaki’s talent. Can Japan stop casting Tsuchiya Tao already?

3.      Samurai Marathon

Almost two hours of dirty men running through a forest. Maybe Japanese History experts will enjoy it, because I certainly didn’t.

4.      Lady Vengeance

While there are legit great moments, I didn’t find this “classic” to be anything special. The animal cruelty was too much for me.

5.      Hot Gimmick

This movie makes Bohemian Rhapsody’s editing look like a work of art. There are more flashing cuts than a T-ARA music video. I have no idea who likes who, who’s banging who, what even are they saying. Too much poetic shit for my like. I wanted to see Shimizu Hiroya naked. I was bamboozled.

6.      The Divine Fury

While some parts were interesting, at the end I still don’t know if the protagonist is possessed by a demon (if yes, then why would he help a priest destroy his friends?) or if he was blessed by God when his father died and talked to him (the glowing hand thing, why and how??). The exorcism parts are really, really scary, or maybe I’m just a chicken, but I had to avert my eyes. The best (only) part is that the protagonists are hot. Hello Woo Do-Hwan, you can sacrifice me to Satan any time…

#tokumusume awards #2019 #Parasite #Gintama #The Untamed #The Tale of Nokdu #Yoshizawa Ryo #long post #jdrama #kdrama #jmovie #kmovie #cdrama #cmovie

[koganphrancis]

WE ARE FINALLY, TRULY CAMLESS!

Season 9 Episode 6 Recap

First and foremost, I want to single out Noel Fisher for being a truly class act and returning to this demon show to give fans what happiness he could-the ONLY happiness a lot of fans have found here, myself included, in a very long time.

Next a serious piece of appreciation to Cameron Monaghan.  I know he worked hard on what little they gave him to do in the past few years, and I’m thankful he had Gotham to work on to actually use his talent while mired down in the stinky swamp this show has become.  In another actor’s hands, I don’t know that Gallavich would’ve been as captivating as it was-without Noel I know it wouldn’t have been, but Cam does deserve credit for bringing the other half of the couple to life-when they were on screen together, they had an undeniable magic happening.

Finally to any of the “fans” that are thinking or posting that we got this actually pretty shitty prison endgame because people pestered the show producers, writers, and actors too much to “bring Mickey back” may I please direct you to watch the early episode (I believe it was in Season 1, but certainly no later than S2) where Lip tells Ian prison must be a gay man’s dream with all the tattoos and unlimited sex partners.  THAT is John Wells’ perception of gay men and it has been since long before he even thought of breaking Ian and Mickey up, let alone bringing Mickey back.  

Personally I’m supremely disappointed this gay couple, like so many others, did not get a free and truly happy ending in canon, even though my friends know I predicted this could very well be all we got in the end.  FFS it’s the year twenty gayteen-couldn’t ONE iconic gay couple be given a nice, normal happy ending?  John Wells is a fucking dinosaur.  He needs to go to a sensitivity training camp run by Dan Levy, Emily Andras, and Ryan Murphy.  

Anyway-my last recap (baring a miracle) of this shit show is under the cut

(screen cap credit: justmikhailothings)

This episode was brought to us by White Castle.  I’d like to think they gave every dime they got from them to pay Noel, but I’m sure it went to the other “big name” guest stars.

Also the show was (disappointingly) written by Nancy “Ratfucker” Pimental, so you know it’s gonna be bad.

The show begins with Ian putting his stuff away up in the attic and claiming he wants to eat a shitload of White Castle.  Sure, whatever.  Everyone is trying to offer ideas of what they should all do on his last day of freedom, but suddenly THIS Ian is talking and making decisions for himself.  WHERE HAS HE BEEN THE PAST 4 SEASONS?  He only appears when Mickey’s about...

Debbie offers to bring him to a gay bar to “get laid” (flashing back to Monica in S3, ugh-it was a bad idea then, it’s a bad idea now), Ian says, “Pretty sure I’ll get laid a lot in prison.”  He says it with a grim expression, but considering how they end the show/who his cellmate is, he should be so lucky.  

Frank pretty much ignores Ian in the scene, and they certainly don’t interact.  Frank recommends Ian should read James Joyce’s Ulysses in prison, but other than the fact that it’s by an Irish writer and it’s extremely long and dense to get through (aka it’ll take Ian some time to do it), I don’t know if there’s any significance to his suggesting it.  

This scene with just a throwaway send off from Macy seems to be in line with John Wells’ vision to have the series fade away with the characters going about their daily lives rather than end, but I really think both Cam and WHM were screwed out of not having a final scene together with just the two of them.  Their comedy timing was always the best out of Macy and all the Gallagher kids.  The lack of respect is just astounding-especially since the show wasted so much time on rando actors/characters we’re never going to see again.

The rest of Frank’s story this week takes place with Liam in tow again and it’s just dumb and boring.

The next scene shows Fiona and Bored looking at an apartment-they’re going to move in together (why?  And when was this decided?  Not that I care, but they could’ve cut a scene of them bickering to show a scene where they arrived at a decision together for once).  It makes absolutely no sense-they have Fiona’s whole place to themselves, why waste $3000 a month living in some other apartment all to themselves?  Just because it has two bathrooms?  Do they shit that much?

And then, ooh, bad news for Fiona-her business partners require her to kick in another 25 grand or their investment will be dead in the water.  I still don’t know how she went from having $50K to invest to $100K, so this new twist is just more bullshit that I can’t care about.  

Then there’s a scene where we have to see Carl’s new girlfriend’s head in Ian’s lap.  WTF.  We need to see Mickey’s head there-or better yet, Ian using Mickey’s perfect thighs as a pillow.  

There’s a couple of boring, unfunny bits of the nun and then the priest (is it supposed to be hilarious that the dad from Full House is spewing out sex scenario names Nancy must’ve googled?) from Kev and Vee’s kids’ preschool with a dildo.  Seriously, Nance, not even close to funny, probably time to put yourself out to pasture, old girl.  This show has used dildos as a sight gag so many times at this point there’s just nothing more to do with them except maybe shove them up the writers’ asses.

Lip’s storyline this week is something out of very, very bad fan fiction: A movie star comes to their house!  Cuz, that happens, okay?  I’m sure studios and billion dollar make up companies don’t run any kind of background check on people they hire to babysit their clients-why would they?  It’s not like a crazed fan would rape/maim/kill the object of their obsession or anything.  ANYONE can be a star minder for one day, surely.  

BORING ALERT: Lip has a couple more running scenes this week, because no one got enough of that last episode.  This week the least they could’ve done was play the Friends theme song over the endless footage where he’s chasing Courtney Cox around on location in Chicago.  

While watching, I was wondering if Courtney’s role was written for her or they just settled for her when Roseanne Barr was suddenly unavailable-the stuff they had her say and do (except for the sprinting) seemed like it was written for a more jaded motherly type-but I’m jumping ahead.  Since we DID get CC, here’s a couple of stray observations.  1. She looks like a rich man’s Emmy Rossum, and 2. was part of the purpose of her storyline to throw shade at Jennifer Aniston?  Her character is named Jen Wagner, and there’s this whole dumb thing where Nancy’s trying to make, “Face it, you’re gorgeous” happen as her make up commercials’ tag line-which was reminiscent of Aniston’s ads for L’Oreal that stated “I’m/you’re worth it”.  

Meanwhile, after Fi gets the devastating news that she needs to come up with more money she tries to get out of taking the new apartment with Bored by lying to him and telling him she smelled mold there-HE RESTORES OLD HOUSES/BUILDINGS FOR A LIVING why does Nancy think that was a clever lie for Fiona to come up with?  How stupid is Fi supposed to be?

Back at the Gallaghers, Ian is practicing self defense moves with Carl and Kelly to prevent someone from raping him at knife point.  Everyone’s flipping each other in these scenes and it just felt like they wanted to give their stunt coordinator (and Cam’s double) a lot of (boring) shit to do this week...Ian’s final scenes being played out with this meaningless newbie (who Carl will probably wind up killing or dumping or both) made me very sad.  I guess maybe it was to build dramatic tension for when Ian’s in his cell later and the door slides open before he turns around.  But it’s lame because the scenes play like he’s JUST realizing prison’s rapey.  

Someone knocks at the door-my heart started racing but it wasn’t Mickey.  A guy who wasn’t in the jail scenes tells Ian Joselito sent him.  Ian starts asking him about the guys he was in county lock up with-WHO CARES.  The guy tells him the couple he’s asking about broke up when one of them got out and Nancy throws in a line about long distance relationships not working.  Joselito sent this Antonio guy to give Ian an “in-depth safety orientation about Beckman Correctional” before they send him up.   

Antonio draws Ian a map of the facility and tells him the areas to avoid, then draws a big circle with Mickey Mouse ears on it and tells him that’s “Disneyland” and he can get all good things there-smooth blowies, weed, Snickers...I’m sure ol’ Nancy thought she was being clever, but it just took me out of the scene hearing Antonio say “Disney” at least three times-reminded me of Cam’s publicity stunt “coming out date” there last year.  

Fi comes in and asks if anyone has any money (shades of S4 when Ian gave her his Fairy Tail tips) and that she needs 25 grand.  She’s so stupid.  And she’s honestly that out of touch with the family that she thinks maybe one of them has thousands of dollars they could give her?  (although, if she had only gotten to Lip before he tried to buy Xan...)

Fiona tells Ian, “Don’t forget, I’m driving you to prison tomorrow.”  And that’s the last time they see each other.  So much for family, eh, Nance?

A huge time waster of a scene where Kev and Vee pack up all their sex toys and then another drawn out scene of them throwing the stuff off a bridge happen.  Seriously, these are Cameron’s final moments on this shit show-they couldn’t think of anything for him to do?  This was all screen time Cam and Noel could have had, SHOULD have had!

I have to recap this next bit because it was beyond belief unrealistic-Frank steals a bicycle and goes following Katey Sagal and her ex-husband when they leave the hospital in an Audi-and Frank manages to keep up with them all the way to their nice neighborhood that must be some distance away since it was daylight when they left and dark when they get to their door.  Frank.  On a bicycle.  Kept up.  YOU’RE SUCH A DUMB FUCK, NANCY.

Then there’s more White Castle with the money shot of the food and packaging all over the Gallagher kitchen table.  Courtney gets to make a bulimia joke Nancy wrote into the scene.  Hope you weren’t looking for a Guest Starring Emmy, CC.  

Ian tells a “Carl story” about him puncturing his scrotum (on purpose) with a screwdriver when he was a kid.  Carl must have the most mangled dick and scrotum on the planet between his several botched circumcisions and now this.  Kelly asks him if that’s why he has “that scar”.  You know what, Nance?  While some people do in fact find scars sexy, self inflicted ones on scrotums don’t make that list.  

Debbie comes in, recognizes “the chick from the make up ads” having dinner with them.  I’m sorry-having WHITE CASTLE with them.  Now everyone else sees it too, and Kelly insists that CC says “the” line that Nancy made up to make happen-why do they keep trying to make meaningless things A Thing?  

After dinner, Jen is giving Ian advice about prison: “Find a hobby, it makes time go so much faster.”  Ian asks, “Did you learn that from one of your movies?” and she says she did 48 hours for DUI (hey, just like Ethan, Nancy!).  Jen really needed to get into making TP paper mache to get through 2 days?  

Debbie, desperate to make shit about her says, “Maybe I should go to prison too.  It seems like the only way I’ll find a real relationship.”  WHY are they acting like Ian’s going away on a single’s cruise?

Jen says to Debs that’s not true and Debbie says it is, that she’s unlucky in love (when the fuck has she ever been “in love”?)...”men, women...”  

Jen tells her she’s a special woman (how the fuck does she know?) and that she doesn’t want just anyone, she wants somebody “who gets you” and then for the second time in two weeks an older woman, without determining if Debbie is of age, pulls her into a kiss and the others (Ian, Lip, Carl, Kelly) stare like, “WTF?”  The kiss ends and Debbie looks all amazed like she did after the Mel kiss, but then Jen looks at everyone and says, “I played a lesbian once in a movie.”  And that’s what your research into that role led you to believe lesbians do?  Kiss random teens when they’re whining?  Lip starts the “Face it” line and everyone else chips in with “you’re gorgeous” and everyone laughs and I don’t get why it’s funny or even why it’s supposed to be funny.  Seemed like they were trying to drive home the point that ACTORS only PLAY gay characters, but no matter how convincing they seem, they are in reality the much more “preferable” heterosexuals we can feel safe with and really want them to be.  Fuck you, Shameless.

Also, Courtney/Jen is three times older than Debbie-CC is 54 irl and Debs is forever 17 now, so more Kash vibes for anyone who was missing those.  Also perpetuates the writer room’s fantasy that hot young actors would find middle and past middle age folks suitable sex partners.

Fi goes to Patsy’s Pies and there’s another hysterically lame scene where she opens the office safe and is counting out money-I don’t know how much a place like Patsy’s rakes in (or keeps in their safe) but I would think it would take a long time to accumulate 25K in CASH in this day and age of debit and credit cards.  She abandons that bad idea and winds up going down to the docks and drinking with a Patsy’s employee and reciting all her “mo money” problems while he counters with the facts that his car’s been repossessed and that he and his moms are being evicted from the projects.  Then the guy kisses drunk Fi but she tells him she has a boyfriend and that she has to apologize for lying to him (although, really, the underlying implication is she has to apologizing for never seeing that he’s always right about her being a dumb woman who has no head for business decisions).  

Lip and Ian have their last one on one scene.  After the movie star mom for a day leaves, Ian’s fake smoking on the front steps and Lip joins him.  Lip gives him money for his commissary account and Ian says, “I’ll pay you back,” (but not thank you) and Lip says, “No you won’t,” and I’m at home saying, “Lip, why are you being such a dick?”  Ian goes to hand him the lit cigarette, but pulls it away when Lip reaches for it, but then gives it to him and rubs his shoulder.  I guess this is supposed to signal to us that they’ve said everything that’s needed to be said?  Except we’ve been watching and we know Lip is supposed to be a mouthy motherfucker and in the old days they would’ve had actual conversations that they DID NOT have at all-all their conversations this season have been short and awkward.  Ian’s been made into a fucking mute now, even in these final moments.

Their last scene should’ve been in their room, in their beds-Ian can’t sleep and they talk things out in the dark like the brothers they used to be, but no.  Can’t have that.  

The Fiona drama finding out Bored has a wife, kid, and house and then drunkenly smashing up her leased vehicle is so “bad soap opera” I can’t believe this show is still on the air.  If we were supposed to cry for Fiona as her make up  and fake blood ran down her face after her millionth time of being let down by a guy everyone else could see was an ass from the start-well, we just didn’t.  

Next day the Gallaghers are waiting in the living room for Fiona to take Ian to prison.  Kev steps up to drive them all in his truck.

They get there, get out, and Ian looks around, then says to his family, “All right.  I thought Geneva and some of the others would be here but...”  Thank christ they weren’t!!!  The show/Ian wasted too much time on those randos as it was.  However, credit where credit is due-the show got us all the way through this swan song arc without bringing up Terror once!  But I digress, back to our scene.  Carl says, “You can only count on family, dude.”  I scream BULLSHIT at my TV screen.  

Debbie says, “I’m gonna miss you.” 

Group hug.  Kev says, “Don’t get too raped in there, aight?”  Everybody breaks apart, the moment ruined.  Kev says he doesn’t know what to say in these situations (and clearly no one can improvise but Noel).  Vee says, “How about goodbye and I love you?”  

Kev says, “Goodbye, man. I love you.”  

Ian says, “I love you guys too.”  Wasting it on the wrong fucking people!  All of them-except Kev and Vee who never voiced an opinion-didn’t care if went to prison!  

Ian looks at Lip, walks over to him.  “Hey, uh, thanks for being my brother.”

Lip, still a dick, says, “Never had a choice.”  That’s right, bitch-you didn’t get to choose to play the interesting gay brother, you got cast as the dick know-it-all who never cared about anyone but himself.  

During this entire farewell scene I was sitting at home, strangely unmoved.  I felt nothing watching it, probably because everyone was such an asshole about Ian going to prison all season, plus never caring about what he was doing all last season, plus the fact that none of these characters are the characters we first got to know.  It hasn’t been a case of character growth and development, it’s been character assassination and retconning.  

Ian breaks the hug.  “All right.  See you guys.”  He goes to the gate, shows his papers, gets let in through the gate, waves to his family as he walks past the fence, walks into the prison, slaps his phone (wouldn’t he just give that to Lip to hold on to?  Battery’s gonna be dead by the time he gets out) and watch (probably ditto on the watch battery) onto a counter, strips down so we see one last quick shot of his naked ass (what, no cavity search?  And just how long has it been since we’ve seen his unclothed ass anyway?), and a glimpse of the boob tattoo.  

Next we see him in his yellow “I Love You, Philip Morris” jumpsuit, carrying his bedding through the GP.  He’s attracting “fresh meat” attention and Cam actually does a really good job of looking a bit scared while trying to look tough and “don’t fuck with me”-there’s a vulnerability there, but he’s not overplaying it, and he’s certainly not overplaying the fronting.  His acting was really powerful in that scene.  

They put him in his cell and slam the door and he winces a little at the sound, then he sadly looks at his 6X8 foot (or whatever the dimensions are) room, puts his bedding pile on the top bunk and leaves his hands up there and lets his head hang down.  He hears the door slide open behind him again and gets this, “Ugh, here we go,” expression on his face and turns around to see it’s Mickey standing there.

Me at home: Not what I wanted for end game but I’m still thrilled to see the man, the myth, the legend again anyway.  He’s all beefy still from when he was shooting Fonzo and looking good.  

Ian’s looking at him like he’s not sure he’s really there.

Mickey mildly says, “I rolled on the cartel I was working for and in exchange guess who gets to pick where he gets locked up?”  

Ian’s got tears in his eyes now and says, “Holy fuck.”

“Oh hey-I got bottom,” Mickey says as he points to the lower bunk.  Then he walks past Ian and says, “So...you’re on top,” in a bit of a sing-songy voice. 

He flops down onto the bunk, puts his hand behind his head-and check out the gifs closely, especially on Twitter-in the jumpsuit you can see the outline of his dick and it “twitches in interest” as the fan fics say (don’t know if Noel did it by adjusting his thigh, don’t know if it was intentional or what-but it was a sight to see whatever the case).  He does a lip lick/bite combination, Ian’s face lights up a bit and he gives a smile, he crawls onto the bunk on top of Mickey, pinning his hand down while Mickey smiles softly, they gaze at each other a beat, Ian gently strokes Mickey’s cheek, Mickey wraps his free hand behind Ian’s neck, their noses boop, and Ian sort of gently thrusts into a kiss (it was good-definitely had a bit of a sexual vibe to it), which Mickey expertly returns.  It was a very good kiss, tender and loving, but that scene needed words, needed Ian to say SOMETHING to Mickey-needed an “I’m sorry” and a “thank you for always being here for me” and exchanged I love yous.  Neither of these boys are ever told they’re loved!  JFC, nine seasons and the show couldn’t manage to work mutual ILYs in ONCE?  Fuck you, Shameless.  They didn’t even say each other’s NAMES!  

Mickey (and Noel) looked so fucking good lying there-relaxed and happy, finally back with his love where he’s always belonged.  Even when his eyes are closed, they’re perfect.  The angle the scene was shot at, we see more of Mickey’s microexpressions than Ian’s.  

An after the credits began scene of them lying in an afterglow embrace would’ve been nice.  Mickey could’ve mocked Ian’s hair (give us one last “Fire Crotch” you cowards!) and boob tattoo (or offered to fix that for him while they’re in the joint).  

Mickey’s got new ink on his forearm we never see clearly.  Until and unless we’re told otherwise, I’m saying it’s a big ginger root ;)  Bam.  

On a personal note, and not to rain on anybody’s parade, while I believe 100% in Drunk Crew Guy and what he said, I really don’t see us getting another scene in the finale.  This show’s attention span is down to nothing now, and I can’t see them dragging these guys back out now that they’ve given us (shitty) endgame. I don’t think enough time will have passed to let them out of prison by then, I think those final episodes are going to be about Fiona leaving and not Ian and Mickey getting to Mexico-and I can’t really see Mickey being able to go back there now that he’s crossed a cartel.  My feeling is the show filmed 2 possible endings using Noel to choose from-one ending with them in Mexico and the other being the one we got.  They probably ripped off The Shawshank Redemption too much with a Mexico ending and decided to go with this “original” idea instead.  I’d love nothing more than to be wrong, and to get one more scene of these two free and happy.  Cam’s question mark at the end of his farewell post and the fact that I do trust everything DCG said leaves a spark of hope burning in my heart, but hopefully I can back away from endless online speculation and theories about it over the next 5 months.  If it happens, beautiful.  If it doesn’t, at least we got one last look at Mickey and he’s getting dicked down and the love he’s always deserved, even if I hate the fact they’re locked up and will be in danger whenever they’re not in their cell-not to mention this is the shitty way gay love stories get handled in general, but I must not go down that path again in this recap.  

I want to add that Mickey didn’t sound all that “Mickey” in his scene, but maybe he didn’t need his swagger and was being more “real” to let Ian know he had a choice (as always, Mickey didn’t force himself on Ian-he let him come to him).  And kudos to Cam for not doing his hideous Chicago accent for most of the episode.  

There WAS love and chemistry in that final scene.  Just sucks that we don’t get it anywhere else in the show and they wasted so much time last night that could’ve been given to Cameron and Noel.  

But hey, I’m finally free of recapping ;)  While I’m sorry the Gallavich parts are now over, I’m not sorry I can finally quit missing what we used to get while watching what the show now does.  Mickey and Ian are back together now, so, fuck you, Shameless.  

#Recap #Ian's final episode #Season Nein #Nobody wants it #Queue #Hopefully I'll be sound asleep when the episode ends

[lovemesomesurveys]

5,000 question survey series--part thirty-three

3101. Would it bother you if your priest, rabbii or other religious leader (teacher if you are not religious) started wearing a plain black mask all the time? If yes, why? Yes. I’d find it very odd to say the least and I’d also be skeptical. It’s not something worn by priests or rabbis. 3102. Where do you look for the answers? Google. ha. 3103. If you are driving and someone honks at you does it ruin your whole day? I don’t drive. It would probably piss me off, but I don’t know if it would ruin my whole day. 3104. If you are driving and you get angry at another driver do you: yell at them through their and your closed window? Yeah, I’d just cuss ‘em out to myself, ha. open the window and yell at them? throw things at them? stop the car and start a fight with them? do something else?

3105. I'm in the right lane on the parkway. There is an exit only lane on my right. A car pulls out from behind the pack into the exit only lane. When that car gets to the exit he is right in front of me only one lane to the right of me. Instead of exiting the parkway he tries to creep back in in front of me. I get pissed and honk the horn. He (I keep saying he but I couldn't tell) throws up his hands as he slides in front of me. I think this is funny and toot again. He throws up his hands again. I do this about three more times and each time I toot he throws his hands in the air. Then my exit clomes up and I have to get off. From the time he got in front of me until I got off the parkway we drove approx. 20 feet. What you think about this situation? I really didn’t feel like reading the whole thing, ha. 3106. Do you live in reality or in your 'own little world'? I do get lost in my head with my own thoughts all the time, but I’m also in reality and know what’s going on. Which one is better? Neither are great. 3107. Who's your favorite soprano? I didn’t watch that. 3108. Why is there porn geared towards straight men, gay men, lesbians but none really geared towards straight woman? I don’t know anything about that. Or care. 3109. Is there more to being human than chemicles and impulses? If yes, what? These questions are too much for me, ha. I don’t feel like thinking that deep. 3110. What if all the boys in jail could get out now together? Um no? 3111. If your shoes could talk what would they say? They’d be pretty happy cause they’re kept in good condition. They never even touch the ground. Or they might be sad cause I never go anywhere and they just sit in my closet. *shrug* 3112. How many windows are in your house? 3. 3113. Did you walk around your house and count them all? No. If not what did you do? I already knew the answer since we don’t have that many. 3114. Do you think people store memories as pictures or words? People’s minds work differently. 3115. If you got sent to jail who would your one phone call be to? My mom. 3116. Pick a movie you have seen: Us. Give a 2 sentance review about it using the word 'go': You should go see it cause it’s creepy and great. The deeper messages and meanings are interesting. 3117. Pick a song you like: Free bird by Lynyrd Skynyrd. Give a 2 sentance review of it useing the word 'come': Blah. 3118. Pick a person you like: Alexander Skarsgard. Give a two sentance description of them useing the word 'lunchbox': Blaaaaah. 3119. What do these 3 words have in common: hippo, camp, us? Hippocampus is a word. 3120. If you could save time in a bottle, the first thing that you'd like to do is.. “If I could save time in a bottle, the first thing that I’d like to doooo.” 3121. Who is the most powerful person in the world that you can think of? God is the most powerful everything. 3122. If you were designing a mini-golf hole what would it be like? Like a golf hole. 3123. Why do you think certain people become targets for teasing in school or exclusion at work? Bullies pick at on people they think are weak. 3124. Why, in essays, is the word 'I' not allowed to be used when it is our own PERSONAL thoughts being expressed? It’s evident that it’s your own personal thoughts unless stated otherwise. There’s no need to put “I.” 3125. What song would you like your doorbell to play? That would actually get annoying. 3126. Would you rather watch MTV or play GO FISH? Depends what was on. I like Go Fish, though. I played that all the time with my Nana when I was a kid. 3127. What is an itch? An irritation to your skin or nerve cells. 3128. Why did the holocost happen? Adolf Hitler and his radical racist beliefs. 3129. Would you be capable of torturing another person? I can’t imagine myself ever physically hurting someone. This does makes me think of the famous psychological experiment, the Milgram Experiment, where participants were told someone in another room was attached to a machine that would deliver electric shocks for every wrong answer they gave to questions. These shocks would be given by the participant. Each time the person attached to the machine got a question wrong, the intensity of the shock would increase. The man conducting the study watched over the participant and told them to deliver the shocks, encouraging them to continue if they hesitated, expressing the importance of doing so. What the participants didn’t know was that the man attached to the machine was never really receiving any electrical shocks. Many of the participants delivered the shocks as told, thinking that the person was really being shocked. The idea behind the study was seeing how people respond to authority and doing something because someone in authority told them to do, even if it meant hurting someone. :O

3130. How did Hitler's army do this and still believe they were good people? There’s another study called the Stanford Prison Experiment where people were assigned to taking on the role of prisoner or guard in a prison setting. The guards began mistreating the prisoners, which showed that otherwise good people can end up abusing their power when it’s given to them. I suppose that’s what happened with those of Hitler’s army who believed they were good people. It’s a mix of both studies in that we see abuse of power and being under/submitting to authority. They believed they were just following orders. 3131. Do you like poetry to rhyme? Yes. 3132. Does 'jewish' describe a race or a religion? Isn’t it both? 3133. How tall are you? About 5′4. 3134. If Hitler was capable of such cruelty to others, and he is human, does that mean that all humans are capable of this cruelty?/ Hitler may have been human, but he was an evil human. A psychopath. 3135. How long have you ever gone without sleep? 36 hours or so. 3136. Is a mouse a miracle? No? 3137. there are alcoholics, chocoholics, shoppoholics, practically anything can be an 'oholic. What's your 'oholic? Coffeeoholic. 3138. Does heaven have aphone number? No. If it did would you call? You don’t need a phone number to talk to God or even loved ones who have passed.

Who would you ask to speak to? What would you say? 3139. Fortune time!! 1,2, 3, or 4? if 1: 5, or 6? if 2: 7 or 8? if 3: 9 or 10? if 4 11 or 12? Now pick a letter between A and G: if A: 13 or 14? if B: 15 or 16? if C or D: 17 or 18? if E or F: 19 or 20? if F: 21 or 22? if G: 22 or 23? --------- you should now have two numbers. look at both numbers below and combine the sayings to get a fortune. 5: you are a very loving person 6: you will become very rich 7: you are too hard on yourself 8: cats will bring you bad luck 9: gremlins will eat all your cheese 10: you are going on a trip 11: someone you don't know will be watching you 12: you will get what you want --- 13. and your life will be filled with romance 14. but you will fall in love with a babboon 15. and salt is lucky for you 16. or you will inherit a cough medicine factory 17. and you will not come back 18. and you will lose the remote 19. or your favorite team will win 20. and you were born under a lucky star 21. but the next person who leave you a note is attracted to you 22. and you will have a stalker soon 23. or your best friend will take you to a movie 3140. Do you vote? Yes. 3141. Are you always honest with yourself? I think I’m pretty realistic and honest with myself for the most part.

Were you honest when you answered that question? Yes. 3142. What kinds of diary names or entry titles make you specifically NOT want to read that diary? 3142. Is writing an online diary more about being honest about yourself or entertaining your readers? I’m really open and honest in these surveys. I’m a little sarcastic and funny at times, too. 3143. What are you the last of? Uhh. 3144. Who do you really appreciate and what have you done lately to show that you appreciate them? I appreciate my mom. I need to show her that more. 3145. When people do good deeds are they really doing them because they are a good person or because they want to feel like a good person? Or both? There are people who truly do good things because that’s just who they are and don’t give it a second thought. Like it just comes natural to them to help others and they don’t expect things in return. Some do things for the reward and what they can get out of it in return. Others do good things because they want to and it makes them feel good. 3146. Somewhere far back in the survey I asked if Bill Gates or Mothe Thereasa was more successful. The most popular answer I have seen is 'it depends on how you define success'. Well, this survey is about YOU isn't it? So how do YOU define success? I thought I answered this already. 3147. Are people making up reality as they go along? Maybe some do? 3148. You may need a calculator for this one. Think of your weight. Divide it by 2.2 multiply the answer by .8 What do you get? 29.09. That is how many grams of protein you need to eat every day to stay healthy. Do you think you eat enough? I need more than that. I’m supposed to be incorporating a lot of protein into my diet. 3149. What is your feeling about republicans? 3150. What do you need to do? Get my shit together. What do you need to stop doing? Not getting my shit together. 3151. If you were to start a club, what club would you start? I wouldn’t. 3152. Are your hands and feet always cold? Not usually. Maybe you have bad circulation. MAyBe YoU hAvE bAd CiRcUlAtIoN. lol. 3153. Have you ever been prank called? Nah. If yes, what was the situation? 3154. Have you ever prank called someone? Yes. If yes, what was the prank? In middle school my friends and I did stupid stuff like that sometimes. We would call businesses, not anyone we knew. 3155. Have you ever gotteen into a conversation with someone when they or you have dialed a wrong number? No. I’m not trying to stay on the phone, especially with someone I don’t know. It’s like, “Sorry wrong number, bye.” 3156. Have you ever just sat alone with no distractions for a whole hour and thought about things? Yes. If yes, does the universe open up when you do this? My mind is too jumbled. It’s a mess up there. 3157. Are you a genius? No. 3158. If you were going to design the PERFECT signifigant other...what flaws would you give them? Uhh. 3159. If you answered NO to 3157, why do you doubt yourself? I’m really just an average gal and I know it. 3160. RARRRR!!! Scared ya, didn't I? Totally. 3161. Do feelings and ideas come from inside the mind or outside in the culture? I think our feelings and ideas that we feel and think come from outside things. 3162. When you have a feeling or an idea: do you trust it? Not always. Even when people are telling you that you are wrong? It really just depends. Even when people are laughing at you for it? 3163. WHAT IS YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME? (YOUR MIDDLE NAME BECOMES YOUR FIRST NAME AND YOUR LAST NAME IS THE NAME OF THE STREET OF THE HOUSE YOU GREW UP IN): Nah. 3164. What is the differance between spirituality and religion? I don’t know to explain it. 3165. What is the speediest way you know of to get over a cold or flu? Nothing. You just gotta ride it out, really. 3166. Who is your favorite comedian? I don’t have one. 3167. What do you think of Winona Ryder's court case? Damn this is old. 3168. What was your last nightmare about? Let’s not think about that. 3169. Who are the people in your neighborhood? People. 3170. During what decade was popular music the most emotional? I don’t know? There’s emotional music in any decade. During what decade was popular music the bes? I like music from various decades. 3171. How did Frederick Douglas, escape slavery against all odds? Didn’t he disguise himself and escape on a train? There were thousands and thousands of slaves around him, why did only he manage to learn to read and write? Some were taught by their masters. 3172. Do you download porn? (be honest!) No. 3173. Why is 'go suck an egg' or 'your grandma sucks eggs!' an insult? I don’t know. 3174. Life is: hard. I am: Tired. I am not: Healthy. But I want to be: Healthy and happy. And I wish I could: Travel. 3175. What is the highest achivement anyone could ever achieve in this department? spiritual: physical: emotional: with their humanity: 3176. Can you give step by step instructioons on how to think deeply? No. 3177. DDid you ever see the Wizard of Oz with the sound all the way down while listening to pink Floyd's The Wall? No...

If yes, did you see what everyone says goes on when you do that? I haven’t heard about that.

3178. Let's say you were writing an application for potential new friends. What three questions would you ask (and what would you want the answers to be)? Nah. 3179. Which two words of the following words goes together the best and why: mullet, brocollii, community, blue, phosphor, hammer, ocean, hand Blue and ocean. 3180. Are you dyslexic? No. 3182. Are you overwhelmed? Yes. By what? Life. 3183. 'My natural elasticity was crushed.' What does that mean? *shrug* 3184. What is humanity evolving towards, do you think? 3185. Are you good at cracking codes? ,t y dsud yp Ftoml upit ,o;l I'll give you a hint. Y really means T. 3186. How many holes do you have in your body (ex. mouth)? Ew holes. 3187. Now there are ads on taxi cab hubcaps. Is there ANY free space LEFT to put more ads onto taxis??? Nope. 3188. What's the worst place to have a scab? Scabs are just gross. 3189. Do you pick your scabs? :X 3190. Who's goin' chicken huntin'? Not me. 3191. post 'it' note: what does 'it' stand for? What you’re posting. 3192. What is a tragedy? A sad event. 3193. Where is guam? Kind of near the Philippines. 3194. Are you bubbly? No. Do you drink bubbly? Nope. 3195. Do you have caller ID? Yeah.

If you do then do you only answer the phone after looking at it? Yeah I always check who’s calling first. 3196. Bewitched or Jeannie? I never got into that. 3197. When will you be able to just do what you want to? My health is a factor, but the biggest thing stopping me is myself. 3198. How do people live with the fact that their time is short and priceless yet they get paid too little to waste too much of it? I don’t know, man. 3199. OOGA! Make your best cave-pperson sound! 3200. Who tells better gossip, your best friend or your answering machine? Not sure what gossip my answering machine is doing.

#personal #text #survey #surveys #5000 question survey

[automatismoateo]

I managed to survive and escape this cult via /r/atheism

I managed to survive and escape this cult

To start this off, I just want to say that this story I am telling hasn't been heard by many, and I hope that telling others about it can help me to let go of it in a way.

My entire life up until recently had been spent in a very religious environment, with literally everything we do being based off of my family's beliefs. I was born into a religion known as "laestadien lutheranism". They believe that the belief in God and the forgiveness of sins is what brings you to the alleged paradise they call heaven, and we were always encouraged to openly admit our "sins" (I'll get to that in a bit) to the entire congregation as the basis of their belief is that we as laestadien lutheran christians have the power to forgive others sins. This is a dangerous belief because it no longer hinges on the existence of a god but instead on the reliance of the religion itself (you can see how that would go wrong). The problem really begins when you hear what they consider sinning though, as they believe that anything that might bring you farther away from god is considered a sin. This could mean many things, ranging from reasonable to completely unbelievable ideas. We were not allowed to get piercings of any kind, no tattoos, no makeup, and no alcohol or non prescribed drugs. Watching movies/TV was banned (we literally never had a TV in our household ever) and listening to music is heavily frowned upon. they went as far as to tell us to avert our eyes from television screens we see in public, and they would openly complain about music playing in stores and restaurants. To top it all off, every last one of them are extremely homophobic and at least a little racist. up until about half a year ago, I was one of them. blindly following this extremely flawed belief system and not questioning any of the plot holes. I would wake up on Sunday mornings to attend church with the rest of my family and went to Sunday school with the rest of the kids. it was only after I got a little older, about a month after I turned 15, that I started to question the religion in my head. I was very scared by these thoughts as I thought it was Satan himself trying to drag me into unbelief as we had been taught he would attempt to do. but as more time went on, I came to realize that it was all bullshit. there was no magic man floating in the clouds watching my every move, there was no burning abyss reserved for sinners and gay people alike, and there was no magical bearded priest that could turn water into wine in the days of old. I realized that I was allowed to enjoy the pleasures of modern civilization and I discovered the joy of good music. But about 3 months later, shit hit the fan when my parents searched my phone without my permission. they found a string of dms I had with my uncle, and I was talking about being atheist in those very messages. my dad walked downstairs, looked at me, and said "we need to talk about faith." my life from that moment became a lot harder, my parents constantly trying to pull me back into the abyss that is laestadien lutheranism. I have fully enveloped myself into civilization and have turned my back on the beliefs my parents engrained in my head. I feel like a much better person because of my decisions, and I hope that I can inspire others to make the same steps to freedom as I did.

tl;dr: I managed to escape from a controlling cult and am currently a happy atheist

Submitted November 26, 2021 at 04:47AM by drewskky (From Reddit https://ift.tt/313ld5a)

#reddit

[roslinadama-sinequanon]

Christmas in Connecticut-Chapter 16

In this chapter Sharon and Andy attend Midnight Mass with their family. Later Andy and Rusty have an unexpected conversation regarding Rusty’s sexuality.

I always felt we were missing a fathership conversation regarding Rusty’s sexuality. IMO it was all very ambiguous. We saw both Provenza and Andy being a little uncomfortable with Rusty being gay--Provenza accepted it as long as they didn’t have to discuss it. When Rusty went to Andy once to ask him his adviceAndy seemed a little uncomfortable  and asked if it was about him and Gus. However, by the time Andy was living with Sharon, and Rusty was angsting over Gus, Andy seemed totally comfortable with it all. Also, Andy was far more comfortable and accepting of Provenza’s former partner who turned out to be transgender, while Provenza was a real jerk about it. 

Anyway, this is a sensitive subject that I don’t have any experience with so I hope I did it justice and also kept Andy and Rusty in character.

Now available here:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13293105/chapters/31441479

and here:

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12789981/16/Christmas-in-Connecticut

and here:

O holy night! The stars are brightly shining It is the night of our dear Savior's birth Long lay the world in sin and error pining 'Til He appeared and the soul felt its worth A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn Fall on your knees! O hear the angel voices! O night divine, the night when Christ was born O night, O holy night, O night divine! O night, O holy night, O night divine!

Truly He taught us to love one another; His law is love and His gospel is peace Chains He shall break, for the slave is our brother; And in His name all oppression shall cease Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we With all our hearts we praise His holy name Christ is the Lord! Then ever, ever praise we Noel, Noel

*****

Sharon held Andy’s gloved hand as they followed William and Colleen up the long walkway to a large stone church. St. Marys. Snow crunched under their boots, their breath fogging in front of them. It was a clear frigid night, the stars shining brightly in the black sky. Sharon shivered and hunkered deeper into her long wool coat. Her dad teased her about it but years in sunny Southern California really did seem to have thinned her blood.

“Papa Andy.” Tyler fell in step with them. “It’s gonna be really, really late when we leave church tonight. Do you think we’ll see Santa?”

Sharon gave Andy a sidelong glance, biting back a grin. They had been following the NORAD Santa tracker all night on the computer and she had just heard Nicole tell the boys that Santa was still far from North America. However, true to form, when their mom or dad told them something they didn’t want to hear, they turned to Papa Andy who often gave them what they wanted. Nicole called him a sucker. He called it being a grandfather.

“Sorry, kiddo. I think your mom’s right, this time. Besides, you don’t want to see Santa.”

“Yes we do.”

“No, you really don’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because if you see him the magic’s gone and he disappears.”

Tyler’s eyes widened and now Scott was listening to every word. “So we wouldn’t get any presents?”

“Nope. The presents come with the magic.”

“Oh…“ Tyler sounded a bit shocked by that news. “Then I’m gonna keep my eyes closed all the way home.”

“Me too,” Scottie vowed.

“Good idea,” Andy agreed.

“I don’t think we’re going to have to worry about it,” Sharon said as they began climbing up the stairs. “If they‘re anything like my two when they were little they‘ll be sound asleep by the time we leave church.”

Andy opened the door, allowing Sharon to pass before following. Inside the vestibule, they both paused to dip their fingers in the fonts of holy water, crossing themselves before entering. The church was dimly lit, the sanctuary covered in fir garlands and red ribbons, the altar surrounded by dozens of large flowering red poinsettias. Each pew was decorated with garland, a big red velvet ribbon tied in a bow and a white candle.  Organ music filled the chamber with the soft beautiful strains of “Oh Holy Night”, which just happened to be one of Sharon‘s favorite Christmas hymns. The scent of frankincense permeated the air, bringing with it the sense of familiarity and peace that it always did for her when she entered a church.

There was something mystical about midnight mass. It brought back all the feelings of enchantment that Sharon had felt as a child. The rituals, the Christmas hymns, the excitement of being allowed to stay up so late, the strangeness of being at church so deep in the night and best of all  the titillating possibility of seeing Santa and his reindeer flying across the night sky. All of it had been as magical for her and Chrissie as it later had been for Emily and Ricky, and now Tyler and Scottie.

But for all that, her feelings as an adult ran so much deeper. Reaching out to thread her fingers through Andy’s, she looked down the pew at her parents, her children, her soon to be stepfamily, warmth spreading through her. She truly was blessed. She had a man in her life that loved her with all his heart and wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. Her parents were aging gracefully, her children were healthy, and with Nicole, Dean, and the boys, that family was expanding in ways she’d never expected. She couldn’t remember ever being as happy as she was right now.  

The only blemish on that happiness came when she turned from her family to take in the beautifully decorated altar. The sharp twinge in her heart caused her hand tighten on Andy’s and she had to blink back the quick sting of tears. When she thought about marrying Andy this was where she pictured herself. Standing at an altar covered in flowers, making their promises to each other in the presence of God. But what if they couldn’t make that happen?

As if he could read her mind, Andy looked over at her with a smile. Just a few hours ago, she’d tried to explain that smile to Chrissie, but it was hard to convey the power that it had over her. That smile could lighten her day and cause her knees go weak with lust. It could fill her with tenderness and make her heart soar with joy. And best of all there were times like tonight when it had the power to make her feel like no matter what happened; everything was going to be all right.

After a brief moment of silence that got everyone’s attention, the organist began the loud joyous strains of “O Come All Ye Faithful” which began in Latin but would eventually switch over to the English translation. The sanctuary lit and the congregation rose for the opening procession; the swinging thurible of smoky incense, ministers carrying the cross and candles, the deacon carrying the Book of Gospels and finally the priest. Standing at Andy’s side listening to the voices rise in the call of the faithful, the sense of peace she had experienced upon entering the church washed through her again. She smiled back at him. It didn’t matter what Jack signed or didn’t sign, as long as she had this man by her side, everything else would sort itself out. And with the joy of that peace, her voice joined his in the beautiful hymn.

Adeste, fideles, Laeti triumphantes, Venite, venite in Bethlehem! Natum videte, Regem angelorum Venite, adoremus! Venite, adoremus! Venite, adoramus! Venite, adoramus Dominum!

O come, all ye faithful Joyful and triumphant O come ye, o come ye to Bethlehem Come and behold Him Born the King of Angels! O come, let us adore Him O come, let us adore Him O come, let us adore Him Christ the Lord

*****

Trying not to wake anyone, especially the kids, Andy nearly tip toed down the stairs. When he got to the living room he found it dark, save for the blinking lights on the Christmas tree. They must have forgotten to shut them off when they all finally stumbled off to bed after returning from midnight mass and putting the kids gifts out under the tree. His feet barely made a sound thanks to the plush carpet runner, but he cursed at the loud click the lock on the front door made.

“Andy?”

“Jesus Christ!” Andy spun around, going for the gun that was not on his hip. He was barefoot, in new red and green plaid flannel pajama bottoms and a dark green waffled t-shirt--a gift from Sharon. It was an O‘Dwyer/Raydor tradition that everyone got new pajamas on Christmas Eve in preparation for pictures Christmas morning. It was easy now to see where Sharon got her love of tradition and holidays and how she‘d passed that down to Ricky and Emily who had been waiting eagerly, like little kids, for their new pajamas. Though Rusty was still fairly new to the whole tradition thing, he was sitting in the big overstuffed chair in front of the Christmas tree wearing the same new pajamas, but with a red shirt instead of green. “Are you trying to really give me a heart attack?”

“You just got engaged. You’re not running out on my mom, are you?”

“Yeah, barefoot in my pajama’s. Don’t be ridiculous.”

“Then what are you doing creeping around in the night like a cat burgler?”

Andy rolled his eyes at the description. “We ate the cookies the kids left for Santa, but we forgot the carrots they put out for the reindeer. I told your mom I’d come down and grab them.” Andy sank down on the couch across from Rusty. “Why are you still up?”

“I dunno, I just couldn’t sleep.”

“Too excited about your presents? “

Rusty gave him an amused smirk before his face turned serious again.

“I’ve been thinking a lot. Being here this week, getting to see where mom grew up. Now the holiday. Before I started living with Sharon, I never celebrated Christmas. Most of the time my mom was so strung out she didn’t even know what day it was. Even if she had remembered that it was Christmas, she didn’t have any money for a tree or presents or a big Christmas dinner. And we sure never went to midnight mass or watched Christmas movies or baked Christmas cookies together. My first Christmas with Sharon I acted like I thought it was all pretty lame, but that isn’t really how I felt. I like that she gets so into it--even when she makes me watch ‘White Christmas’ with her.”

Andy chuckled. “It is her favorite Christmas movie.”

“Sometimes when I listen to Emily and Ricky and they’re telling stories about what it was like for them growing up I feel like that little match girl in the story they were talking about the other day. Sometimes I wonder what it would have been like if I’d been born to Sharon. If I’d had the chance to grow up with her as my mom and always had these big Christmas’s with grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. To be tucked into bed at night with a Christmas story from the 25 Days of Christmas. To decorate gingerbread and sugar cookies and make popcorn and cranberry garland while we listened to Christmas carols. To sit in front of the tree watching all those classic Christmas movies together, even those cheesy Hallmark ones she loves. To spend a day making ornaments out of pinecones that she’d put on the tree no matter how ugly they were. And let’s face it, Ricky’s were pretty ugly.”

Having recently seen some pictures of Sharon’s earlier Christmas’s when her kids were young Andy could only nod in agreement. “They really were pretty ugly.”

“I mean, I know it wasn’t perfect. I know they had some hard times because of Jack. But Emily and Ricky were really lucky to have a mom like Sharon.”

“Yes, they were. And so are you. Sharon’s a very special person and she’s an incredible mom. I’m sorry you didn’t get to have those kinds of Christmas’s when you were young. But you get to have them now. And I bet they mean even more to you because you don’t take them for granted. I had a lot of lonely Christmas’s after my divorce and for a long time I was filled with anger and bitterness and regret. It ate at me and I wasn’t a very happy person. But since I met your mom, I find it’s a lot easier not to look back. I’m happy here and now in the present and that’s what’s important. I’m looking forward to my future. And so should you. You’ve got a lot going for you Rusty, don’t let your past take away the enjoyment of your present.”

“Mmm..” Rusty hummed in way that was very reminiscent of his mother, biological or not. “That’s not always easy.”

“Are you missing Gus?”

“Maybe a little.”

“It’s too bad he couldn’t come.”

“It’s probably for the best.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Well, you know…” He gestured toward his grandparent’s bedroom.

“You know they know you’re gay, right?”

“Uh, yeah. Mom told them right after I came out. But knowing it and seeing it are two different things.”

Andy’s brow furrowed. After moving in with Sharon, he had become privy to some of the more personal details of Rusty’s love life. He knew Sharon had given Rusty the okay for Gus to spend the night at the condo, yet he’d never done so. It had become quickly apparent that Rusty’s inability to embrace his homosexuality publicly seemed to be a sticking point in his relationship with Gus and had been for a long time. But he’d kept that observation to himself. Which was funny, really. He’d never been shy about offering up his opinions on just about anything. He’d made no bones about his disdain of Slider when Rusty was doing his vlog and had no problem calling the kid out when he thought he was being selfish or taking advantage of Sharon, but unless Rusty had come right out and asked, he’d steered well clear of offering advice on his love life. As if by some unspoken, tacit agreement, he and Rusty had never discussed Rusty being gay. Andy always just figured it was awkward enough for any teen to talk about anything sexual with a parent, let alone for a gay son and the heterosexual live in boyfriend of his mother, so he hadn‘t pushed it. At least that was what he tried telling himself. The truth was more along the lines that he felt awkward about it, and he wasn’t sure why. Maybe it was time to man up and just get it all out in the open. He took a deep breath and finally asked, “Are you ashamed of being gay?”

Rusty‘s eyes widened with surprise and he began to squirm. Fighting the urge to simply get up and leave, he clutched at the soft fabric of his pajama bottoms in an effort to quell his anxiety. Where had that question from?  He’d gone to Andy a few times for advice and had seen the discomfort on the older man’s face when he’d inevitably asked, “Is it about you and Gus?“ As if he would go to Andy Flynn for dating advice. The very thought made his gut clench. Andy was a macho guy’s guy, notorious within the department for his appreciation of beautiful women and serial dating. At least until he‘d fallen head over heels for Sharon and set out to win her heart.  How could a man like that understand him?  “No….Well, uh…I was…I guess I tried to deny it for a long time. I wanted to be normal. I wanted people to think I was normal. There was even a time I thought I might be able to fix it.”

“By seeing Kris?”

“Yeah. That didn’t work so well. I really liked her, and I tried, but I couldn’t like her that way.”

“You know you don’t need to be fixed, right?”

“I do now. Mom helped me see that. She said I was normal just the way I was and that she loved me no matter what.”

“Your mom is pretty great that way.”

“She is. “

“So, why are you still trying to hide it?”

“What do you mean? “

“Rusty, you had a big fight with Gus because he tried to hold your hand in public. Every time he touches you in front of other people, you flinch away from him.”

Rusty paled. Gus was always riding his ass about that; he had no idea that his discomfort had been so obvious to others. “You noticed that?”

“Hard not to.” He’d also noticed that when they all watched a movie together, Sharon would lay her head on his shoulder, while Rusty made it a point to sit alone in a chair, never next to Gus on the couch. Yet, many times when he and Sharon came home from work or a night out they‘d often found the boys sitting together on the couch. It seemed to be only a problem when others were around.

“I guess I am still a little uncomfortable with it.” Looking up into Andy’s face, he saw none of the recriminations that had twisted the features of his biological mother. Instead, the honest curiosity and compassion in Andy’s eyes compelled him to open up about his deepest fears. “It’s just; I don’t want to be those guys that picked me up on the Strip.”

“Oh my God. Is that what you’ve been worrying about? Rusty you have nothing in common with those guys, anymore than I have anything in common with straight pedophiles that molest little girls. Sex between two consenting adults has nothing to do with what you went through. Gay or straight those guys who prey on underage kids are criminals.”

“I know, I do know that. It’s just…My biological mother said some things to me and I can‘t seem to get them out of my head.”

“Oh yeah, what did she say?” This ought to be good if it came out of the mouth of Sharon Beck.

“She said my being gay was disgusting to her and that knowing what I was is what made her turn to drugs. It‘s also one of the reasons she and Gary dumped me at the zoo.”

Andy gave a rumble of disgust. “Rusty, that’s what addicts do. They blame other people because they don’t want to blame themselves. Did you tell your mom about this?”

“No. She knows I fought with my biological mother but I couldn’t tell her the terrible things she said. I mean, obviously mom knows about my past, that I was hustling, but she doesn’t know all the dirty details. And I don’t want her to know, because I never want her to be revolted by me. I couldn’t stand that. I need her…I need her to love me.”

Andy shook his head with regret. Sharon Beck had sure done a number on this boy. Between growing up with her as a mother and having to sell his body at such a young age, it was no wonder the kid had an issue with his sexuality and intimacy and that he equated sex with being dirty and degrading. It was a good thing that Sharon had gotten him into therapy. He hoped that Dr. Joe was helping him work through all that. “Rusty, we can’t change the past or any of the choices we made but your mother loves you no matter what you’ve done. That’s the thing about unconditional love, there aren’t any conditions attached to it. You are your mother’s son and she is so proud of you and all that you’ve accomplished. “

“I know she is. It’s just …Sometimes I don’t feel worthy of that. She’s always been a great mom to me, from the first day she took me in, but I haven’t always been the greatest son.”

“No, you haven’t.”

Rusty’s head snapped up at the blunt response. One of the reasons he trusted Andy was because he was a “tell it like it is” kind of guy and didn’t waste time sugar coating things. Still he hadn’t expected him to agree so readily.

“Look kid, in my experience teenagers can be a fucking nightmare. I know I gave my own parents some gray hair and I’m sure Emily and Ricky share some of your feelings now that they’re grown. Your mom has the biggest heart of anyone I’ve ever known. She has this huge capacity for love and forgiveness. Hell, she fell in love with me and I used to call her the wicked witch of FID.”

Rusty snorted. He hadn’t heard that one before, but it didn’t surprise him. He’d had a front row seat to the animosity Sharon had faced when she’d first taken over Major Crimes.

“She knows everything about my past, all my flaws, all the mistakes that I’ve made and she still agreed to marry me. Because she knows, people change. There’s a saying we use in AA, ‘Don’t let yesterday take up too much of today.’ Most people have something in their pasts that they aren’t proud of, we all make mistakes, but who are today isn’t always who we were.”

Rusty nodded. He sure wasn’t the same person he’d been at 15, living on the streets, selling his body and living in fear every single day. But there was one fear he still had, a question that had always been there in the back of his mind but that he‘d left unasked. A topic he’d never quite been sure how to bring up. Taking a deep breath he figured it was now or never. “I answered your question, now it’s my turn to ask you something.”

“Okay, shoot. “

“Well, since you’re going to be my step- father sometime in the near future, there’s something I need to know before that happens.”

“Okay.”

“When I was coming out…It was really hard for me. That was mainly because of you and Lieutenant Provenza. The two of you, you were the only real men in my life and I was afraid you might be….well…”

“Homophobic?”

“Maybe, yeah. And now I know that you’re not. I mean you’ve been great to me and you’ve been great to Gus. You’ve never treated us with anything but respect and you‘re friends with Gavin and Dr. Morales and Dr. Joe and all. But when you and mom first started looking for houses and I was worried that I might be in the way, you said that if my mom thought you were trying to get rid of me she’d flip out, so I need to know. How much of your acceptance of me is because you want to please my mom? Does it bother you that I am…the way I am? I need you to be honest with me here.”

Andy took a deep breath knowing that his future relationship with his step -son might very well hinge on the way he answered this question.

“Look kid. Was I always sympathetic or understanding when it came to homosexuality? Probably not. But you have to remember, I grew up in a time when no one talked about it, and if they did, it was whispered as if it was something shameful.  Then I joined the LAPD in less than politically correct times. Things were different back then. Everything was a stereotype. I honestly believed there were no gay men on the police force, in the fire department, or in professional sports. It sounds stupid now, but that’s the way it was. We were ignorant. Then AIDS hit and it forced guys out of the closet. I had a friend on the force that had to come out. “

“What do you mean, “Had to”?”

“In the 80’s if you got AIDS, you pretty much died.”

“Oh.” Rusty swallowed tightly. He‘d been worried about AIDS too while he was hustling. “You said he was your friend. Did you think about him differently after you found out?”

“At first. I mean it was a shock. Like I said, I had an idea of what a gay man was in my head.  Steve was tough, a jock, he didn’t fit the stereotype I’d been taught to believe at all. Like I said, I was pretty ignorant back then. I had no idea that for years he’d been living a double life, pretending to hit on women when we all went out to bars, then sneaking off to gay clubs to pick up guys. He lived every day with the fear that people would find out who he really was and how they would react. That‘s no way to live.”

“I remember feeling like that. I thought for sure Sharon was going to throw me out when I finally had the guts to tell her and then I was really afraid to come out to all of you. I thought it might change how you felt about me. I tried to get Mom to do it for me.”

Andy gave a soft snort. That sounded like Rusty. “Bet that didn’t go over too well.”

“No, it didn’t. Your friend, Steve. Did he die?”

“Yes. He did. I went to visit him in the hospital. You could tell he wasn’t gonna make it, he‘d wasted away to nothing. His mom was there but his father wouldn’t visit him. I was pretty pissed about that. I just can’t see how any father could justify not being there with his son when he’s dying, you know?”

“Sounds pretty shitty.”

“It was pretty shitty. He wouldn’t listen to Steve’s mother, so I called him, told him how sick Steve was, and asked him to come and say good-bye. He refused. All he kept saying was that he didn’t understand how a son of his could be gay.”

“Do you?”

“Do I what?”

“Do you understand how someone can be gay?”

“I…uh…Well, there are a lot of things I don’t understand. I don’t understand how your mother can be a Packers fan over the Rams when she‘s never even come close to living in Green Bay. But I do understand her passionate love of football.”

Rusty rolled his eyes at Andy’s attempt at levity. “You’re avoiding the question.”

“Yeah, okay, you want the truth? Here it is.  Do I understand being attracted to another man? No, I don’t. Not any more than you or any gay man can understand my attraction to women. But I’ll tell you what I do understand. I do understand attraction. And I do understand love. And I also understand that we can’t make ourselves love people or not love people and we can‘t help who we are attracted to. You found that out with Kris.  I found it out with my ex-wife and with Sharon. I tried to force myself to love my ex after I’d fallen out of love with her because I wanted my marriage to work. I couldn‘t do it, because you can’t make yourself feel something you don’t feel. And then, falling in love with your mom, I mean that was just crazy. The odds were stacked pretty high against us. She was still married, on paper anyway, she was my boss and there was a time when we argued all the time. We were fire and ice.”

“I remember that.”

“Even once we got past the FID stuff, we’re so different. She is a beautiful, cultured woman and I’m a street kid from Brooklyn. She’s fancy French restaurants and I’m hot dogs at Coney Island. She’s Mozart and I’m Jimmy Buffett.  She had a bad marriage to an alcoholic and I’m a recovering alcoholic. She’s a cool play it by the rules and I‘m an impatient, push it to the edge. We weren‘t supposed to click. I mean none of it made any sense. But as they say, the heart wants what the heart wants and my heart wants your mom. I understand that.”

“Mmm…Mom did have a pretty heavy duty case of denial going there for a while.”

“It’s never easy when you’ve had a bad relationship to allow yourself to trust in a new relationship.”

“Well, you’re nothing like Jack.”

“Really?” Andy raised a brow. “I’ve heard some people say we’re pretty similar.”

“Not in the ways that matter. The way you treat Mom is so different from the way Jack treated her. You don’t try to manipulate her to do what you want the way Jack did. You don’t hide things or have ulterior motives. You don’t try to guilt her to do what you want or use the people she loves to get at her. Those are all the kinds of things I’ve seen Jack do. You respect her. You do things you don’t want to do because you know it will make her happy and she does the same thing for you. And even though Jack’s known Mom a lot longer than you have, you seem to know her much better than he did.“

“You think?”

Rusty nodded. Because of the trauma and abuse he’d gone through each time his biological mother brought a new boyfriend home, he’d watched Andy’s relationship with Sharon carefully and warily. Expecting the worse, what he had seen instead was a lesson in true love.

A lesson brought home by the way his mother lit up when Andy walked into the room and the sappy adorable smile she’d give him when he brought her home flowers “just because”. It was the way she’d lovingly changed his bandages after his surgery and the way she fussed and worried about him while he was recovering. It was in the affectionate way she played with the buttons on his shirt or stroked his tie and the way she was always careful to wipe her lipstick off his face each time she kissed him. It was in the way she would take his hand in public, intimately threading her fingers through his.

It was in the way that Andy picked up her favorite Thai food for dinner because he knew she’d been busy and had to skip a meal and wanted to make sure that she had something to eat. It was the way he brought her Advil and green tea after seeing her rubbing her temples, instinctively knowing she had a headache.  It was the way he opened doors for her and held out her chair and the way he guided her along with a hand resting protectively on the small of her back. It was the way he would swing her legs onto his lap and give her a foot massage after seeing her wince when she took off her high heels at the end of a long day. She didn’t have to ask, he just did it

It was a million little things that to others might have gone unnoticed, but not to Rusty. At work, Andy might be brash, tough, and impatient but with Sharon, he was always attentive, thoughtful and gentle.

“When I was living with my biological mother I saw a lot of the bad stuff in relationships; rage, violence, cheating, but watching you and Mom and the way you support each other and  take care of each other has shown me how people are supposed to love each other.”

Andy’s brow lifted with surprise. After initially seeming to be okay with him and Sharon dating, Rusty had grown increasingly squeamish when their relationship progressed to the point that they were visibly affectionate with each other and even more so when he had begun spending the night at the condo. There was nothing unusual about that and Andy hadn‘t let it bother him. No son liked to think about his mom having sex, even if he liked her boyfriend. He got that.  But he hadn’t realized just how much the kid had been paying attention to the other aspects of their relationship. “I appreciate you telling me that. It means a lot for me to hear you feel that way. But I want to get back to your initial question because it’s important to me that you know this.  No, it doesn’t bother me that you’re gay and I’m not just saying that just because I love your mother and want to please her. I care about you Rusty, and I want you to be happy. Male, female, black, white, rich, poor, gay, straight, we‘re all just people and if there is anything I’ve learned through my experiences it’s that all that matters is trying to be the best person you can be. I think that’s all you can ask of anyone.”

Sitting in the stairwell Sharon’s eyes burned with tears, her heart swelling with love. Her conversation with Christine still fresh in her mind, it was hard to believe there had been a time she’d thought Andy was a jackass.

Andy looked at his watch. “You might want to head off to bed, I have a feeling those two boys are going to have us up at the crack of dawn.”

Rusty laughed. “I think you’re right. They were definitely excited. ” He rose to his feet and stood awkwardly for a moment before finally gearing up the courage to do something he’d never done before. Leaning down he gave Andy a quick half shoulder hug. “Thank you,” he said. “For being honest with me. I’m, uh, glad you’re marrying my mom.”

Andy’s lips quirked in amusement as he watched the boy quickly disappear toward his bedroom. What a difference from the enthusiastic, “Andy, welcome to the family!” bear hug Ricky had given him after he and Sharon had announced their engagement.

Sharon’s two boys could not be more different.

Rusty Beck was a hard nut to crack, no doubt about it. In comparison, Ricky was easy. He’d hit it off right from the start with Sharon’s eldest son, even before they were dating. Ricky was as open and friendly as Rusty was wary and guarded. He had an infectious, fun loving personality, not unlike that of an overgrown puppy. You couldn’t help but like the kid. And he and Ricky had so much in common. They shared a near obsession with the Dodgers and other sports and never had trouble striking up a conversation, most of them revolving around baseball, football, basketball and hockey.  And when he found out the kid liked to fish, one of his own favorite pastimes, he’d set up a deep sea fishing trip for the two of them off the coast of Catalina. They‘d listened to the Dodgers on the radio, soaked up the sun and caught an almost 20 pound halibut. It had been a great day, both enjoying each other‘s company. When they got home, they’d grilled fresh halibut steaks out on the condo balcony and told fish stories to Sharon, Rusty and Gus well into the night. The trip had been such a success and they’d had such a good time together they talked about going out again to try to catch Marlin, only this time Sharon and Gus wanted in on the action which left him hopeful that Rusty might give it a try.

It was easy with Ricky in ways it had never been easy with Sharon‘s prickly youngest. With Rusty he‘d often felt like he was walking on eggshells. The kid was moody and sensitive and had a chip on his shoulder a mile wide. It hadn’t been easy to find a way to reach him. Rusty usually turned to his laptop when he and Sharon put a sporting event on TV, he didn’t even know the difference between overtime and extra innings and he found fishing a colossal bore. Yet, somehow, Andy had been able to forge a bond with the boy that grew stronger every day. They cooked together, played chess and cards, competed against each other in video games and when the new season of ‘Game of Thrones’ came out they could both be found, along with Sharon, in front of the TV sharing a big bowl of popcorn.

“Hey.”

At the touch of a hand on his shoulder, Andy was brought out of his thoughts, looking up to see Sharon smiling down on him.

“Hey, what are you still doing up?” He took the hand she rested on his shoulder and kissed the back of it.

“I was waiting for you to come back to bed,” she said, allowing him to pull her down onto his lap. “When you were taking so long I got worried.”

‘How much did you hear?”

“Enough. Have I told you lately how much I love you?”

“Considering how long it took you to say it, I can never hear it enough.”

Sharon cupped his handsome face in her palms and leaned in close. “I love you, Andy Flynn,” she said just before her lips touched his.

And Andy could not think of a better way to finish off Christmas Eve then necking with his lady under the twinkling lights of the Christmas tree.

TBC

#sharon raydor #andy flynn #shandy #Major Crimes #rusty beck #christmas in connecticut #Shandy Christmas

[whenthisstoryendsarchive]

Meta #9: Elizabeth’s Loves

Augustus FitzClarence

When they met: 1830

Where they met: In the Irish sea above Neriria.

Where he was from: England

His age: 25

Elizabeth’s “age”: 15

His personality: Elizabeth knows nothing of this.

How long they were together: An hour or two at most

Fc: Unknown what the real Lord Augustus looked like, but in the movie, the prince is depicted as pale skinned, brown haired, and blue eyed.

Elizabeth spotted him on a ship when she went to the surface for the first time on her 15th birthday. The ship then wrecked, and she saved and healed him. He is the one she went to Locke to make the deal for. When she was 15, felt that she loved him. And though he remained in the back of her mind for many years, she later learned when she met Matthew and Cam and possibly Daniel what love really was. She was more in love with his looks and the idea of loving and being loved by him. Though he felt the one who saved him was beautiful, he didn’t know Elizabeth herself existed. Augustus loved the woman who he woke beside on the beach after Elizabeth fled, Sarah Gordon. They married factually in 1845 and had 6 children before he died at 49.

Tamashiro Hyousuke

When they met: 1840

Where they met: Kyoto, Japan

Where he was from: Osaka, Japan

His age: 18

Elizabeth’s “age”: mid teens/25

His personality: He was very reserved and quiet, keeping to himself. He rarely ever spoke and never offered much information about himself. Elizabeth sensed that he was hiding a deep secret that caused him pain, but she never learned what it was. But he was also quite considerate, as he tried to cheer Elizabeth up many times when he found her crying.

How long they were together: A year and a half

Fc: Kento Yamazaki

Locke brought Elizabeth to Japan shortly after taking her captive, trying to get out of reach of her father and grandfather. They hid there for nearly 12 years. Locke hired the boy to be his guide, and help him find an artifact he was looking for. Though Locke initially kept Elizabeth hidden, Hyousuke heard her singing, and came to visit when Locke was away. He and Elizabeth taught each other a little bit of English and Japanese, enough that they could try to communicate. Even then, their conversations were scarce and mostly consisting of gestures or broken words. Elizabeth felt a small crush, because she liked how he looked, and he often brought her presents to cheer her up. He loved to listen to her sing, and often asked her to, and she did to pay him back. He was also her first friend on land, and she always remembers him fondly for that, even keeping some of the presents he gave her. Hyousuke saw Elizabeth as very pretty, and considered her a friend. He may have even tried to make himself love her romantically, but couldn’t, as he was secretly gay. Hyousuke is the only one to never see Elizabeth in her true form, and thus believed she was a human captive or a very sad young wife. They never saw each other again after Locke moved her to Greece. He later became a Shinto priest and never married.

First Küçük

When they met: 1842

Where they met: Athens, Greece

Where he was from: Istanbul, Turkey

His age: 20

Elizabeth’s “age”: mid teens/27

His personality: Elizabeth knows nothing of this, other than he was kind enough to always hold the best sea related objects for her.

How long they were together: 5 months

Fc: İsmail Ege Şaşmaz

First ran a stall in the marketplace that she visited, and once sold her seashells and a strand of pearls. Captivated, he kept watch for her and one day followed her from the market to where she stayed with Locke. He witnessed a fight between them and was going to try and steal her away. Elizabeth also had a crush on First, again, mostly based on his looks. She hadn’t ever really seen anyone like him before. And she found him mysterious. He was intrigued by Elizabeth in her human form and often followed her to the river, once leaving a flower on her cloak. But when he happened to spy her in her mermaid form, he immediately turned and ran in terror, thinking she was a siren and was going to kill him. First returned to Turkey after fleeing from her, and was presumed killed in battle during the Albanian rebellion in 1845.

Lorenzo Giordano

When they met: 1843

Where they met: Rome, Italy

Where he was from: Rome, Italy

His age: 20

Elizabeth’s “age”: mid teens/27-28

His personality: Lorenzo was very troubled, and was always committing crimes with his cousin. He also had quite an attitude and lack of respect. We can consider him Elizabeth’s “bad boy”.  But he was very flattering and suave with her because he wanted to take her virginity.

How long they were together: 6 months

Fc: Michael Gioia

After leaving Greece, Locke took Elizabeth to Rome in search of an artifact or after hearing rumors of the human with a mermaid heart. They stayed in a hotel before finding an apartment, and Lorenzo’s father was their landlord. The boy broke in one day with his cousin to try and see what Locke was hiding, and they instead found Elizabeth. The cousin ran, but Lorenzo smiled and winked at her before leaving. He came back frequently and often left little presents and notes on her window. Elizabeth couldn’t understand what they said, but she imagined the sorts of romantic things like in the stories her mother and Marina used to tell her. Elizabeth was quite taken with Lorenzo, though she couldn’t have said even then that she surely loved him. He left her feeling very confused, because he seemed devoted to her; but even in her heart, she questioned if it was real. She was simply flattered by his flirtations and presents, and nearly fell for his manipulation as she did Locke’s. If she’d been able to, she would have run away with him, but it never would have lasted; as Lorenzo was sure to abandon her as soon as he had bedded her. He is one of her bigger regrets of former loves, along with Daniel. Though for different reasons. Lorenzo snuck around with Elizabeth, flirting with her and gifting her presents in an attempt to seduce her. This plan was ended when he found Elizabeth in her mermaid form. He crossed himself and ran away. During their time together, Lorenzo and his cousin continued to break into homes and steal. They were arrested for their crimes when during one break-in, a little girl died and they were executed. The arrest occurred shortly before Elizabeth and Locke left Rome, and the execution a few months later. Hearing about the crime and the arrest, Elizabeth was horrified. She realized that her gifts must have been stolen, and she managed to return them all.

Samuele Cancio

When they met: 1843

Where they met: Siena, Italy

Where he was from: Siena, Italy

His age: 19

Elizabeth’s “age”: mid teens/28

His personality: Samuele, though young and immature in some regards, was quite wise and worldly. He felt himself quiet learned, and may have been more book smart than street smart. He tried to help Elizabeth whenever he could, though, and was always there when she needed someone to talk to.

How long they were together: A week

Fc: Kit Butler

After leaving Rome, Locke brings Elizabeth to Sienna following the trail of his quarry. There, Elizabeth has to sneak through a farm to get to a water source. Unbeknownst to her, the farmer’s son is out at the river fishing. He calls out to her, and Elizabeth turns and runs. She returns the next day, and he was there waiting. He spoke broken English to her, and they talked for the afternoon, ending when he walked her home. Elizabeth had a slight crush on him, and appreciated his physical appearance. But like Hyousuke, she saw him more as a friend or even a brother. Samuele, over the course of the time they were together gave her advice, and made her feel safe. Samuele thought that she was beautiful, but he was already married; though Elizabeth didn’t know this. He was staying with his parents after his wife kicked him out during a fight. He may have had an affair with her, if given the chance, but the opportunity never arose. It was because he saw her going to the river, and saw her change. He too was afraid and never saw her again, instead leaving her waiting at their meeting spot and never showing up. Samuele returned to his own house and his wife. Though a few years later, they ended up getting divorced and he moved back to his father’s farm for good.

Daniel Morwin

When they met: 1848

Where they met: Baltimore, Maryland

Where he was from: Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

His age: 24

Elizabeth’s “age”: mid teens/33

His personality: Daniel had a very firm sense of right and wrong, and always did what he felt was right. He was a devout Christian and taught Elizabeth a few hymns. But he did have a temper at times, as Elizabeth herself later learned.

How long they were together: 8 months

Fc: Louis Mayhew

After leaving Italy, Locke brought Elizabeth to America for the first time. They settled in Maryland, near a naval base. Locke confined her to the house during her human hours, due to their being close to the ocean, and only let her out to get to water. One day, she stayed out later than normal, trying to enjoy the water and the freedom. A drunk man came across her path as she was coming home, and tried to drag her off. Elizabeth fought back and he slapped her across the face and knocked her down. Daniel, a naval lieutenant, saw the commotion and stopped the man. He smiled at her, held out his hand to help her up, and walked her home. They then spent every chance together that they could. Daniel was the first of her past loves who really gave Elizabeth the belief that she could go home. She cared for him deeply, and could have loved him if they were given more time, and things had not ended so terribly between them. Elizabeth always regrets the pain she caused him and never really forgives herself for it. In their good times, he treated her like a queen, and made her feel like a princess again. And though she thought him handsome, Daniel was the first that she cared for more for his actions and who he was than how he looked. It is safe to say that Daniel truly loved Elizabeth, if only because his hatred of her afterward ran so deep; and one first has to care deeply to hate deeply. Before his love turned to fear and hatred, Daniel was ready to marry Elizabeth and get her away from Locke. Daniel had proposed to Elizabeth and told her that he’d get her away from Locke, no matter what. She said yes, and they planned to run away. But when he managed to come, it was close to high tide, and Elizabeth begged him to take her to the river. He carried her toward it, and witnessed her transformation. This went against everything that he believed, and shook him deeply to the core. He left, and came back the next day, demanding she tell him he imagined it. She couldn’t, and Daniel exploded, calling her names, accusing her of lying to him and using him. It got to the point where he hit her and stormed off. Daniel returned to his base, but was dishonorably discharged after becoming an alcoholic. He spent the rest of his life turning to drugs and alcohol, and was ultimately murdered. He also declared to anyone that would listen that she ruined his life.

William Fisher

When they met: 1848

Where they met: Detroit, Michigan

Where he was from: Richmond, Virginia

His age: 21

Elizabeth’s “age”: mid teens/33

His personality: William was forever changed and damaged from his time as a slave. He never forgave his former master for the cruelty he displayed, and cursed him in his grave every chance he had. But, he managed to keep a lifelong friendship with the master’s daughter. She was secretly in love with him, and promised that when her father died and she inherited everything, she’d free everyone. This happened when the pair were 17. Once he was free, and his friend was married, William said goodbye to his parents and moved north. He never held anything against the girl, because she alone was kind to him, and she alone kept her word. Though he definitely battled with undiagnosed PTSD, William remained gentle, kind, and considerate. He respected and cared for those who were kind to him, and cursed those who were not.  

How long they were together: A year

Fc: Rachide Embaló

After the disaster with Daniel, Elizabeth begged Locke to leave Maryland because she feared running into him again. And, feeling antsy having her so close to the Atlantic Ocean, the Wizard agreed. They then settled in Detroit, and Locke- even then having his flair for dramatics and luxury- bought a mansion. He made friends with the rich elderly couple next door, and introduced Elizabeth as his adopted daughter. Having no children of their own, they often asked her over to spend time with them. The couple doted on her and loved listening to her sing. The wife even taught her to play the piano. William, a freed slave from down south, was their butler. He too enjoyed listening to her play, and was enchanted by her voice. He would even buy sheet music for her and give it to Locke to give to her, telling him it was a gift from his mistress. But Elizabeth knew it was from him, because his tastes were different to hers. William suspected that she wasn’t Locke’s daughter and that there was something more sinister going on. Over their time together, they spoke often and took walks together, with Elizabeth helping him with some of his duties. Guarded and fearful from her experience with Daniel, Elizabeth was hesitant to let herself feel anything for William because she didn’t want to get hurt again, but she also didn’t want to ruin him too. But he soon managed to wrangle his way into her heart by telling her stories of his life as a slave. She came to admire his spirit, his gentleness, and his optimism that the world could be a better place. William thought Elizabeth was very, very beautiful. And he thought she was the best singer he’d ever heard. He knew that it would have been impossible to be with her, but he still imagined that there was a chance. He even used to walk with Elizabeth to water, so she could swim, as she told him. William insisted she couldn’t go alone, and went “to protect her from more vulgar men”. But she was careful to get there early and keep her body from the neck down hidden from sight. Still, it wasn’t enough. Locke caught the two at a river and began screaming at Elizabeth and dragged her out of the water for William to see. He stared at her like she was a monster before turning and running. The pair were gone the next day with no goodbyes or explanations. William remained in the service of the couple for the rest of his life, and was even left their fortunes and house when they died. He married a freed slave girl, and they continued to work, becoming very respected members of the community. Despite his good fortune, which was partially due to his own efforts and partially to him being granted a blessing by Elizabeth’s Ben-Varrey powers, William never forgot Elizabeth, and how cruel he was to her after she’d been so good to him. He alone longed to apologize for his behavior, and even named his only daughter after her.

Joshua Parker

When they met: 1851

Where they met: St, Louis, Missouri

Where he was from: Independence, Missouri

His age: 23

Elizabeth’s “age”: mid teens/36

His personality: Elizabeth knows nothing of this, except that he seemed kind.

How long they were together: 6 ½ months

Fc: Dylan Patrick Hartigan

After leaving Detroit, Locke again confined Elizabeth to the house. Taking advantage of the migration west, Locke settled in St. Louis, so that he could keep an eye out for the girl he sought. But Elizabeth, unable to leave, often sat in the window and looked out sadly, or singing and reading. Joshua worked at the local general store, and was the one who delivered food and other supplies to the house. He often saw her in the window, and listened to her singing. He would slip extra strawberries, books, or sweets into the sacks for her. One time, he even put in a little music box his uncle had made in his shop that played Shenandoah; this being another music box she had in the circus later. Elizabeth was quite shaken when she first answered the door and saw him, as he looked quite similar to Augustus. This fact alone would have made her develop a crush on him, and it only grew when he would slip her treats in the bags. But they never actually spoke, as Locke had left orders that he was to leave the bag at the door after ringing the bell and leave. Joshua felt she was very pretty, and sensed that something was wrong, as she was never allowed to leave the house. But he feared Locke, and never really tried to interfere. But one day, when he rang the bell and opened the door to deliver the food, as Elizabeth’s note instructed him to, he managed to see the end of her tail dragging its way toward the bathroom. Curious, Joshua followed, and peeked around the corner and saw her nearly unconscious in the tub with her head and torso submerged and tail sticking out. He dropped the bag and ran. Joshua never told anyone what he witnessed in the bathroom, knowing he’d be committed if he did. Ultimately, he joined the Union army when the Civil War broke out and was killed in the Battle of Gettysburg. He was 35 years old.  

Jonathan Roberston

When they met: 1852

Where they met: Boston, Massachusetts

Where he was from: Providence, Rhode Island

His age: 20

Elizabeth’s “age”: mid teens/37

His personality: Jonathan was rather course and gruff, like most fishermen. And, like them, he had a knack for stories that reminded Elizabeth of Marina and her mother. He cared little for land or the things offered there, and all he wanted was to be at sea. If house boats had been a thing at that time, Jonathan never would have returned to shore except to get supplies.

How long they were together: 10 months

Fc: Younés Kahlaoui

Locke was summoned to Boston by an acquaintance or old partner shortly after Joshua discovered Elizabeth in the tub. So, they packed up and left. Once there, Elizabeth managed to convince Locke to let her out so long as she promised to stay in the bay. Locke agreed, because he had recently discovered that he could use her soul to get inside her mind and summon her to him. Though this discovery restricted Elizabeth’s freedom and thoughts, she was almost glad because it gave her a better chance to get to water. And after nearly drowning in the tub multiple times a day in St. Louis, she was going to take any liberty she could get. One day, she happened to be sunning herself on a rock far out in the bay, when a fishing ship came by. She immediately dove back into the water and swam up to it. There, she spied Jonathan. She followed the ship back to the harbor, and then onto the docks once she’d shifted back to her human form and gotten dressed. Seeing her wandering around, Jonathan came up and asked if she was ok. Elizabeth smiled and nodded, and he watched her walk off. Elizabeth felt a sort of kindred spirit in Jonathan. She loved listening to him tell stories of his times on sea. And she told him some of hers as well, though she made it seem as if she lived next to the sea, not in it. And when he brought her shells or pearls, she kept them until her freedom was granted. In fact, the shell she holds during When This Story Ends was one from him. They both hated being on land, and belonged on the water. Like Elizabeth, Jonathan felt a connection deeper than anything he could put into words. It didn’t hurt either that she was so beautiful. Because of this, Elizabeth was less hesitant to show him her true form, since he mentioned thinking he saw mermaids once. From his description, Elizabeth sincerely believed that it was Marina and Vanessa and that they might be looking for her. She then told him to meet her on the shore at high tide, and though he did, Jonathan was shaken and felt she was a bad omen. Jonathan remained with the ship until he retired, and then took over the company he worked for. He never married, but he never forgot Elizabeth either. Every time he looked out at the bay, he thought of her, and wondered if the 2 he saw at sea were connected to her, as he believed in the back of his mind. Elizabeth also used her powers to bless him and ensure he’d be successful. The only others she did this for were William and Arturo.

Michael Terrance

When they met: 1853

Where they met: Raleigh, North Carolina

Where he was from: New Orleans, Louisiana

His age: 18

Elizabeth’s “age”: mid teens/37-38

His personality: Elizabeth knows nothing of this other than that he liked to laugh, and make her laugh as well, and had big dreams of fame.

How long they were together: 4 days

Fc: Jack Pililaau

Once Locke’s business in Boston was finished, the person he met there indicated that they’d heard a rumor down in North Carolina that would be of interest to him. Immediately knowing that they meant a girl with a mermaid’s heart, Locke and Elizabeth set off for Raleigh. They rented a small shack, next door to the one where Michael was staying with his grandmother. Seeing her in the window, Michael waved and Elizabeth snuck out to say hello. They spent the next 5 days writing messages to each other via the windows of their bedrooms and meeting by the lake behind his grandmother’s. Elizabeth had a bit of a relapse here, nursing a crush on Michael mostly for his looks and how he reminded her of Jonathan. But she did appreciate that he could make her laugh and feel like things weren’t so dark after all. Elizabeth knows nothing of this other than that he thought she was pretty, as they only spoke a handful of times before he was gone. On Michael’s last day in Raleigh, he happened to spy Elizabeth walking to the lake alone. He ran out to meet her, but before he could call out to her, he saw her remove her dress and transform. He screamed and when she looked back, he ran to his grandmother. She, naturally, didn’t believe him. He returned to his parents’ the next day, cutting his visit short by several weeks. When they asked him why he insisted on coming home, he tried to tell them what he saw. They didn’t believe him either, and when he kept insisting on it to everyone he could get to listen, his parents were forced to commit him to an asylum. He remained there the rest of his life, firm in his stance that he had met a real mermaid.

Edward Jermyn

When they met: 1853

Where they met: Chicago, Illinois

Where he was from: Chicago, Illinois

His age: 18

Elizabeth’s “age”: mid teens/38

His personality: Edward was at school majoring in science, and that showed in his personality. He was analytical, grounded, and did not believe in anything that didn’t have proof. Still, he was kind hearted, as he walked with Elizabeth to the river, and would occasionally wait for her after class, noticing that she tended to head there the same times every day.

How long they were together: 3 months

Fc: Elliot Tipp

When Michael’s grandmother told Locke how her grandson came home insisting that his daughter was a mermaid, the wizard was livid. He thought Elizabeth was trying to escape him again, but she insisted she didn’t know he was there until he screamed. Locke read her mind and her memories and saw she was telling the truth, but he was still angry he had to give up his search and leave. He then took her to Chicago for the first time. There, while walking by a college on her way to find some water, Elizabeth accidentally bumped into Edward. She apologized profusely and he told her it was his fault and asked if she was ok. She nodded and asked him if he knew if there was a river or lake nearby. He offered to show her the way, as he’d just gotten out of class for the day. Elizabeth was somewhat saddened being around him, as something about him reminded her of Daniel. But she soon realized that they were very different, and that Edward was more focused and driven to make discoveries, where Daniel was more of a gentleman who wanted to do the right thing. She still grew to have a small crush on him, though. Edward, being highly scientific and dedicated to his studies, refused to let himself fall for Elizabeth, but he still enjoyed her company the few times he got to have it. Curious as to why Elizabeth went to the river every day, and after her managing to dodge his questions, Edward hid after walking her there, instead of leaving as he usually did. He witnessed her transformation and jumped out in a fury, demanding to know what was going on. After Elizabeth and Locke left, he finished his degree and became a great scientist. And toward the end of his life, he revealed a secret project he’d been working on; proving that mermaids existed. He had even attempted to track down others who had met Elizabeth. He did manage to contact Michael Terrance, William Fisher, and Daniel Morwin. He even reached out to Jonathan Robertson, but never heard back. And, in the wake of his other brilliant discoveries and theories, it was said that he’d gone mad in his old age.

Reyansh Bhattacharyya

When they met: 1856

Where they met: New Delhi, India

Where he was from: New Delhi, India

His age: 25

Elizabeth’s “age”: late teens/41

His personality: Reyansh felt a great pity when he heard Elizabeth’s prayer and saw her tears. But he was a bit hesitant to approach her at first, because he thought she was English. And, as India was being colonized by the English crown, he was wary of foreigners. But he soon came to realize that even if she sounded English, she was not. Elizabeth told him about William and how he opened her eyes to how terribly people could treat one another. And, with her vocal disdain for the colonization, he soon grew to trust her. Additionally, Reyansh was kind, considerate, and eager to show her everything he loved about India and its culture. He too often gave her presents, but these were mostly books and small pieces of art like statues and figurines.

How long they were together: 3 years

Fc: Suraj Sharma

After leaving Chicago, Locke spent a couple of years trying to recatch the trail of his ultimate quest. But when he realized it had eluded him again, he was furious with Elizabeth. Even though she had no idea what, or who, he was searching for, he began to think that she was traveling so much, and trying to get herself freed, in order to stop his plans. He grew determined to punish her for her interference. He took her to India to investigate ways to increase his own powers by stealing hers. While he was busy, Elizabeth went to visit the temple of the river god of the Ganges, remembering how he came to visit Neriria a few times to preside over weddings and funerals with her father and grandfather. She asked him to tell her family that she was alive and trying to come home to them. That she missed them desperately. Reyansh worked in the temple and overheard her prayer. Seeing her tears, he came up and told her that the gods would surely do what they could to help her get home. Reyansh was so kind and caring that Elizabeth almost, in her desperation, told him that she was a mermaid being held captive by a wizard. But fearing more of Locke’s anger, she kept silent. All the same, Reyansh became her confidant, secret keeper, and friend. He was probably one of the ones she cared for the most after Daniel. He was a very devout Hindu, and told Elizabeth many of the myths and legends of his land, and she told him of hers. He also spent every moment he could with Elizabeth, intrigued by her and pleased by how eager she was to see and learn what she could from him. The more time he spent with her, the harder and faster he fell. When he discovered that Elizabeth was a mermaid, Reyansh was afraid like the others. But his fear stemmed from the belief that she was a goddess of some other land, and that he had taken liberties with her. He feared being punished. After speaking to his elders, he was forced to tell Elizabeth that he couldn’t speak to her anymore. Reyansh ultimately remained at the temple until he was killed by English officers when he tried to stop them from assaulting a local woman and her child.

Arturo Molina

When they met: 1861

Where they met: Chichén Itzá, Mexico

Where he was from: Cancún, Mexico

His age: 26

Elizabeth’s “age”: late teens/46

His personality: Very passionate and caring, Arturo never did anything by halves. Everything he did in his life, he did with all that he had in him. This applied to his music, his work, and the people he loved. He was a very giving and loyal person. However, he considered any withholding of the truth as a lie, even if it was not. This even applied to secrets. Which is why, when he went to the cenote, and discovered Elizabeth there in her true form, he felt extremely betrayed. His rage even rivaled Daniel’s.

How long they were together: 7 months

Fc: Diego Boneta

Locke and Elizabeth remained in India for 2 ½ more years while he perfected his technique of stealing her powers. By the time he was ready to do so, he decided to move on. He planned to weaken her by taking her to Mexico and keep her from water. They settled on the Yucatán Peninsula, relatively close to a centoe, but still far enough away that Elizabeth would get lost if she tried to venture there. Locke allowed her to walk in the forest, knowing that it would drain her more. One day, while she was out in the woods and high tide was approaching, Elizabeth collapsed, and was found by Arturo. He could tell that she needed water, and he picked her up and carried her there. She thanked him with a little smile, and he gave a wink before wandering off. They did, however, meet frequently in the woods and by the cenote. Elizabeth found his easy going and carefree personality refreshing. She was also touched by the level of care he showed her. Along with Cam, Matthew, Daniel, William, Reyansh, Jonathan, and Dael, he was very easy for her to get along with and feel connected to. She also cared for him deeply, as she did William and Jonathan, because of all her loves, she gave her blessing only to these 3 to ensure their success. Arturo thought that she was very beautiful and found himself unable to stop thinking about her, and worrying. So every day, he would wander the area where he’d found her, trying to figure out if she was all right. He was thrilled when he found her. They spoke often, and he would even play guitar for her and sing. They sometimes sang together, and he fell for her quickly. With Elizabeth’s blessing to aid him, Arturo was able to achieve his dream of becoming a famous singer. He would write several songs about her over the years, some happy and tender from the days when he cared for her and some vindictive, angry, and fearful. His most popular ones, much to his chagrin, were the love songs. He eventually stopped performing and had a family.

Dael Falcão

When they met: 1866

Where they met: Santarem, Brazil

Where he was from: Santarem, Brazil

His age: 27

Elizabeth’s “age”: late teens-20s/51

His personality: Dael was giving and considerate. He and his family took very good care of her, and taught her about their culture and their way of life. They even helped her learn how to survive in the forest. But he was also very protective, and stood between Locke and Elizabeth when the wizard would pick fights with her. He even pushed her out of the way and took the blow the man had aimed at her.

How long they were together: 3 years

Fc: Marlon Teixeira

3 years after arriving in Mexico, Locke heard another rumor that seemed to indicate the girl he hunted had either gone to or been born in Brazil. He took Elizabeth and went there immediately. Following the trail, they ended up at a village on the fringes of the Amazon. There, Locke tried to speak to the locals to find a guide who would take him into the forest. Many, wary of the man, refused or pretended not to understand him. But seeing the girl lurking in the background, Dael stepped forward and offered to do it, because he’d seen the sadness in her eyes, and thought she may have been kidnapped. He took the pair to where Locke wanted to go, and watched as the man ventured off alone. Dael looked at Elizabeth and then led her back to the village, taking her to the hut he shared with his aunt and uncle. They gave her food and water while he went back to work. She ended up staying in the village while Locke traveled extensively. Elizabeth loved the time she spent with Dael and his family. They made her feel like she belonged somewhere again, and that she could be cared for. His aunt and uncle reminded her very much of her parents, and she saw clearly the interest Dael had in her. And though they had some troubles communicating, she knew that his attention was always on her and that he cared about what she had to say or what she thought. Dael, like many of the others, was very captivated by and drawn to Elizabeth. But unlike the others, he seemed to sense even from the first moment he saw her that she was in trouble, and that there was something not quite human about her. One day, Dael went out fishing while Elizabeth was in the river for high tide. His canoe was overturned by a caiman and he was nearly attacked. Elizabeth rushed to him and saved him, scaring the caiman off and bringing Dael to shore. Because he suspected that there was something different about Elizabeth, he wasn’t nearly as afraid by the truth as the others. But Elizabeth took the surprise on his face as fear, and fled. She returned to the village to gather her things and ran into the forest until she found Locke. Dael looked for her for months, until he was forced to accept that she was gone. He remained in the village until he died, never having a family of his own because he couldn’t get Elizabeth out of his mind.

Natan Bamberg

When they met: 1876

Where they met: New York City, New York

Where he was from: New York City, New York

His age: 25

Elizabeth’s “age”: 20s/61

His personality: Natan was very level headed and rational, with a no nonsense attitude. He was also firmly a skeptic, believing that magic, monsters, and things like that didn’t exist. However, he had a soft side, as he cared deeply for his mother and was crushed by her death. He was also quite gentle with Elizabeth before his mother passed as well.

How long they were together: 4 years

Fc: Thomas McDonnell

After returning to America, Locke and Elizabeth settled in New York. Growing bored sitting in the house alone all day, Elizabeth begged Locke to let her look into getting work so she’d have something to do; even going so far as to ask him why he bothers keeping her around when she can’t be of any use to him, a statement he would throw back in her face many times in the future. He eventually agreed, and Elizabeth advertised in the local paper as a nurse. Natan hired her to take care of his ailing mother. She was suffering from cancer, and Elizabeth tried to cure her. Natan felt she was very attentive and had a great bedside manner, and his mother was very fond of her. Elizabeth loved the conversations that she had with Natan, because they were always deep and intellectually stimulating. He made her feel like her opinion, feelings, and thoughts mattered. He also read poetry to her a lot and made sure to have her favorite flowers on hand to decorate with. He made her feel special, and that meant the world to her. He did find Elizabeth beautiful, and felt drawn to her. He was also deeply appreciative of what she did for his mother. He spent a lot of time with her, and they spoke often. But when Elizabeth had to leave early one day because the tide was coming, Natan wondered if something was wrong. Elizabeth assured him she was fine, there was just something she needed to do for her health. Noticing that this occurred with some frequency, he asked Elizabeth if there was something he could do to make things easier for her. One day, when his mother was especially weak, Elizabeth brought her to the water with her. Mrs. Bamberg witnessed her transformation, and believing in magic, she and Elizabeth had a long talk afterward. The sick woman then tried to tell her son, and when he didn’t believe her, she arranged for him to witness the transformation himself. He ran in fear, and when he came home, his mother was dead. Natan didn’t believe in mermaids or magic, and refused to accept that Elizabeth was real. And when his mother died, he screamed at her, blaming her for his mother’s death and calling her a fraud. Elizabeth offered to try and bring her back to life and health, but this only made him more angry and he stormed off. When she tried to stop him by grabbing his arm, he shoved her to the ground and walked away, cursing the day he met her.

Matthew Allan

When they met: 1898

Where they met: Pueblo, New Mexico

Where he was from: San Francisco, California

His age: 20

Elizabeth’s “age”: 20s/83

His personality: Matthew was very like Cam- kind, brave, caring, protective. He was a bit more shy than Cam, but also wasn’t afraid to stick up for others. He was also a bit naïve, due to his young age and inexperience with the world. This made Elizabeth just as protective of him as she was of Elle.

How long they were together: Just under a year

Fc: Willy Cartier

After having gone to the Chicago World’s Fair in 1893 with Elizabeth and getting the idea of starting a circus, Locke quickly set about tracking down acts and getting everything put together. But still weary of displaying Elizabeth, he kept her hidden until 1895. By 1898, she was the main attraction and the source of the healing water. Matthew joined the circus that same year and worked as a game vendor, ride operator, and janitor. He was often made fun of and harassed, especially by Sid and Locke’s other “boys”. Elizabeth defended him and protected him, even healing him when he was hurt. Matthew even taught Elizabeth a little about dancing. Elizabeth loved him just as deeply as she thought she did Augustus, and does Cam. In fact, it can be argued that Cam, Matthew, and Daniel are the only ones she truly loved. Matthew was kind and tender. She felt connected to him because people also hated and feared him because of his being multiracial. They spent many hours together talking about their lives and their dreams. He knew more about her than Cam did, but even he wasn’t allowed to know the truth of how she came to be trapped with Locke. Matthew loved Elizabeth deeply. He tried with everything he had to save her and get her home. He never doubted that she was a real mermaid, and though he may have been a bit startled when he saw her change for the first time, he was never afraid of her like the others. To him, she was the most beautiful, loving, and kind person on the face of the earth. He saw all the good in her, but did in a way, put her on a pedestal. She was his true love, even if he was not hers. Matthew, like Cam, attempted to convince Elizabeth to run away. They were caught trying to leave and Locke killed him in front of her. Elizabeth tried to run away after this and nearly died herself. His family never knew what came of him, and after Elizabeth’s freedom was returned to her 32 years later, Thora managed to track down his mother and tell her that her son died a hero, trying to save the girl that he loved. His body, however, was never recovered. And he was finally “laid to rest” by his mother and Thora burying a shirt of his that he’d given to Elizabeth; which Elizabeth asked Thora to return when she went home.

Cameron Harrison

When they met: 1930

Where they met: Eerie, Mississippi

Where he was from: Born and raised in England, but moved to America to care for his niece after the death of her parents.

His age: 26

Elizabeth’s “age”: 20s/115

His personality: Cam was skeptical of magic, but wished that he could believe. He adored Elle and would do anything for her. He was very worried about her, and was determined to cure her. Cam was also kind, brave, somewhat shy and awkward, especially around Elizabeth.

How long they were together: Between 2 and 3 weeks. A month at the most.

Fc: William Moseley

Cam was sent by his boss to investigate and write about the circus and the healing water. He did express some disdain or hesitation for the assignment, but couldn’t deny the allure of a chance to cure Elle. He goes in determined to prove that the circus and the water is a sham, but returns home forever changed. Cam was Elizabeth’s true and eternal love. No matter what happened to her, or what path he chose, she would always love him and remain faithful to him. Cam originally reminded her of Augustus, because of his eyes. But Elizabeth soon came to see him as his own person. She felt his pain and grief for the loss of his family, and his fears for Elle. She came to adore his smile, kindness, and courage on his own merit. Cam loved Elizabeth deeply, sincerely, and selflessly, rescuing her from Locke after releasing his niece; thereby saving her life and allowing her to return home. Elizabeth took Elle beneath the waves, and healing her. She then kissed Cam, and ended up curing or easing his pain and mending his broken faith in magic and happy endings. We never see what actually becomes of him in the movie, except for Elle saying “And she gave him the biggest gift a person could ever give another. Love. Now from that time on, no matter where he went, she was with him. Mhmm. Now that’s another story.” This indicates that Cam continued to love Elizabeth, even after she returned home. He may have found a way to join her in the sea, as Tor and I have an AU for. Or he may have stayed on land and lived his life. It does seem, whatever happened to him, it was a great adventure.

#Outofsouls (Ooc) #He Took A Part Of Me (Headcanons) #Meta #Death tw #War tw #Abuse cw #Assault cw

[mayacatmaster]

Sometime...even your shadow betrays you...^^!!!

*** *** ***

But so what???

You Are Just Beginning

The Best Part Of Your Life. ~Abraham

*** *** ***

Many times people will say “Oh, you should not pay attention to the way you feel; that is such a selfish approach.” And what they really mean is “You should pay attention to how I feel,” and that is equally selfish. —Abraham-Hicks—

*** *** ***

So…:

I Love Knowing That My Talent, My True Talent Is Alignment. ~Abraham

*** *** ***

"Usually those who are the happiest are those that are, by other standards, the most disconnected from societal ties."

—Abraham-Hicks—

*** *** ***

That Is Ultimate Worthiness, Isn't It?

I Like Me So Much That It No Longer Matters To Me How You Feel About

Me. Which Means, Now I'm Free From Standing On My Head To Get Your

Approval.

But The Big Payoff Is, When You Really Feel That Free And You. Really

Feel That Worthy, You Are Delicious To Be With. And Everybody Who Is

With You, Benefits. ~Abraham

*** *** ***

You Are Just Beginning

The Best Part Of Your Life. ~Abraham

*** *** ***

So…:

'Who Are You?’

'Demon To Some. Angel To Others.’

*** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***

Via and thanks “The Wobble Free Zone”:

*** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***

You want to teach your 13 year old, 14 year old, 15 year old, 16 year old - anyone who comes to you - you want to teach through the clarity of your example what it feels like to be under the influence of Source. And what it feels like is confidence and love, and what it looks like is kindness and ease and power and clarity. It doesn't look like hate, and it doesn't look like insecurity, and it doesn't sound like it, either. And so once you give them that stability because you have it, once you demonstrate it to them, then they'll know what to do. You can't follow them around and give them rules; you can't give them rules to guide their behavior. 

Most physical beings want to take the world as it exists, and they aren't talking like we are, about being vibrational beings who are turning thoughts to things - most people are looking at the things that have already turned out. They think that's reality - the relationships are the manifestations, the car in the garage is the manifestation, the money in the bank is the manifestation. They want to just take those kind of manifestations and sort them into piles, and so they say "Alright, there's the Democratic pile and the Republican pile, and there's the white pile and the black pile, and the female pile and the male pile, and the straight pile and the gay pile.” There are all these piles, and then they want to judge the piles from their framework of "I'm in this pile, and therefore you must be in the wrong pile." And you can imagine how many piles there are - there's the teenager pile and their parents pile. There's the employer pile and the employee pile.  There are lots of different people in lots of different piles with lots of different opinions about the same thing, and we want to take all those piles and mix them all up. And then we want to sort them into two piles - under the influence of Source right now or not. And once you figure that out, then you realize there are all kinds of people that you relate to in all kinds of ways that are in all kinds of different categories that others have put them, but when you're under the influence, when you're really under the influence of who You are, then the cooperative components of the Universe bring to you or to your aligned child those things that enhance their experience.

*** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***

https://www.facebook.com/Wobblefree/photos/a.174912183020075/597331734111449/?type=3&theater

*** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***

Because…:

Never Have I Dealt With Anything More Difficult Than My Own Mindset.

*** *** ***

So…:

Busy fixing shit I thought was normal behavior as a child.

Now that I'm older, I've realized it was toxic af. Now I have to reprogram my brain so I don't continue that toxic cycle.

*** *** ***

Mindset. 

It's all about mindset. 

From the moment you wake up, to the moment you rest your head at night. Everything is up to you. 

Your emotions, your thoughts, your perceptions, your reactions. 

Every moment. 

*** *** ***

**It is up to you to accept those ideas that you choose to accept, and reject those that you do not.

* * You are not powerless before ideas.

* * Throw out ideas that do not suit you. ~@SethSpeaks1

*** *** ***

When shoes fit, forget foot;

when girdle fit, forget waist:

when methods fit, forget minds;

that shows the "Suitability"(alignment with "Source) of the heart (for the question). ~Zhuangzi

*** *** ***

Those in alignment

Follow the order of "Source"(Tao；True Self；Logos), they

Follow the way of "Source"(Tao；True Self；Logos), they

Follow the timing of "Source"(Tao；True Self；Logos) and they

Follow the design of "Source"(Tao；True Self；Logos).

They are calm;

They are clear;

They are real.

Having arrived at the "Root"(Tao；True Self；Brahman),

They are never confused by the branches.

*** *** ***

The "Source"(Tao; Maat；Logos) has always been same, in ancient and modern, in east and west, in any time-space.

*** *** ***

The rightness of "Source"(Tao；True Self；Logos) is "No Artificial-Rightness", but itself can be everyone's rightness.

The order of "Source"(Tao；True Self；Logos) is "No Artificial-Order", but itself can be everyone's order.

The law of "Source"(Tao；True Self；Logos) is "No Artificial-Law", but itself can be everyone's law.

The goodness of "Source"(Tao；True Self；Logos) is "No Artificial-Goodness", but itself can be everyone's goodness.

*** *** ***

The goodness of "Source"(Tao；True Self；Logos),

can help you watching & witness your own 3D-life-movie, regard it as other people's 3D-life-movie,

can help you watching & witness your own self, regard it as other people's self,

can help you get rid of painful, get sweet fruits, realized "True Self"(Tao；Brahman).

*** *** ***

Too often~~~!

People get caught up in how things "should be"(what parents, teachers, priests, kings, holy books said:"you should be~~~~!"),

and forget to live their lives,

and forget their "True Self"(Tao；God).

*** *** ***

Too often~~~!

Everyone tells you what to do and what's good for you.

They don't want you go find your own answers.

They want you to believe theirs. ~Socrates

*** *** ***

Consider for a moment that what you call your "personality" is actually just a

composite of habits & behavioral patterns you developed to cope with

trauma.

Now ask yourself, who am I outside of my pain?

Who would I be if stopped living life as a product of Story?

*** *** ***

Because…:

If You Believe Everything You're Told Without Question

You Are Successfully Brainwashed.

*** *** ***

If you live for people's acceptance, you will die from their rejection.

*** *** ***

THE ego is not who you really are.

The ego is your self-image; it is your social

mask; it is the role you are playing. Your social mask thrives on approval. It wants control, and it is sustained by power, because it lives in fear.

*** *** ***

No one can destroy you,

but Your own mindset can destroy you totally!!!

*** *** ***

[confrontingbabble-on]

Every religious belief system...is a complete blasphemy...in the eyes of every other religious belief system...and all are a complete blasphemy in the eyes of rational unbelief...

For example, as outlined by Atheist Ireland ...

“Here are the 25 blasphemous quotes that we first published on 1 January 2010, along with the quotation that has caused the Irish police to investigate Stephen Fry.

1. Jesus Christ, when asked if he was the son of God, in Matthew 26:64: “Thou hast said: nevertheless I say unto you, Hereafter shall ye see the Son of man sitting on the right hand of power, and coming in the clouds of heaven.” According to the Christian Bible, the Jewish chief priests and elders and council deemed this statement by Jesus to be blasphemous, and they sentenced Jesus to death for saying it.

2. Jesus Christ, talking to Jews about their God, in John 8:44: “Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him.” This is one of several chapters in the Christian Bible that can give a scriptural foundation to Christian anti-Semitism. The first part of John 8, the story of “whoever is without sin cast the first stone”, was not in the original version, but was added centuries later. The original John 8 is a debate between Jesus and some Jews. In brief, Jesus calls the Jews who disbelieve him sons of the Devil, the Jews try to stone him, and Jesus runs away and hides.

3. Muhammad, quoted in Hadith of Bukhari, Vol 1 Book 8 Hadith 427: “May Allah curse the Jews and Christians for they built the places of worship at the graves of their prophets.” This quote is attributed to Muhammad on his death-bed as a warning to Muslims not to copy this practice of the Jews and Christians. It is one of several passages in the Koran and in Hadith that can give a scriptural foundation to Islamic anti-Semitism, including the assertion in Sura 5:60 that Allah cursed Jews and turned some of them into apes and swine.

4. Mark Twain, describing the Christian Bible in Letters from the Earth, 1909: “Also it has another name – The Word of God. For the Christian thinks every word of it was dictated by God. It is full of interest. It has noble poetry in it; and some clever fables; and some blood-drenched history; and some good morals; and a wealth of obscenity; and upwards of a thousand lies… But you notice that when the Lord God of Heaven and Earth, adored Father of Man, goes to war, there is no limit. He is totally without mercy — he, who is called the Fountain of Mercy. He slays, slays, slays! All the men, all the beasts, all the boys, all the babies; also all the women and all the girls, except those that have not been deflowered. He makes no distinction between innocent and guilty… What the insane Father required was blood and misery; he was indifferent as to who furnished it.” Twain’s book was published posthumously in 1939. His daughter, Clara Clemens, at first objected to it being published, but later changed her mind in 1960 when she believed that public opinion had grown more tolerant of the expression of such ideas. That was half a century before Fianna Fail and the Green Party imposed a new blasphemy law on the people of Ireland.

5. Tom Lehrer, The Vatican Rag, 1963: “Get in line in that processional, step into that small confessional. There, the guy who’s got religion’ll tell you if your sin’s original. If it is, try playing it safer, drink the wine and chew the wafer. Two, four, six, eight, time to transubstantiate!”

6. Randy Newman, God’s Song, 1972: “And the Lord said: I burn down your cities – how blind you must be. I take from you your children, and you say how blessed are we. You all must be crazy to put your faith in me. That’s why I love mankind.”

7. James Kirkup, The Love That Dares to Speak its Name, 1976: “While they prepared the tomb I kept guard over him. His mother and the Magdalen had gone to fetch clean linen to shroud his nakedness. I was alone with him… I laid my lips around the tip of that great cock, the instrument of our salvation, our eternal joy. The shaft, still throbbed, anointed with death’s final ejaculation.” This extract is from a poem that led to the last successful blasphemy prosecution in Britain, when Denis Lemon was given a suspended prison sentence after he published it in the now-defunct magazine Gay News. In 2002, a public reading of the poem, on the steps of St. Martin-in-the-Fields church in Trafalgar Square, failed to lead to any prosecution. In 2008, the British Parliament abolished the common law offences of blasphemy and blasphemous libel.

8. Matthias, son of Deuteronomy of Gath, in Monty Python’s Life of Brian, 1979: “Look, I had a lovely supper, and all I said to my wife was that piece of halibut was good enough for Jehovah.”

9. Rev Ian Paisley MEP to the Pope in the European Parliament, 1988: “I denounce you as the Antichrist.” Paisley’s website describes the Antichrist as being “a liar, the true son of the father of lies, the original liar from the beginning… he will imitate Christ, a diabolical imitation, Satan transformed into an angel of light, which will deceive the world.”

10. Conor Cruise O’Brien, 1989: “In the last century the Arab thinker Jamal al-Afghani wrote: ‘Every Muslim is sick and his only remedy is in the Koran.’ Unfortunately the sickness gets worse the more the remedy is taken.”

11. Frank Zappa, 1989: “If you want to get together in any exclusive situation and have people love you, fine – but to hang all this desperate sociology on the idea of The Cloud-Guy who has The Big Book, who knows if you’ve been bad or good – and cares about any of it – to hang it all on that, folks, is the chimpanzee part of the brain working.”

12. Salman Rushdie, 1990: “The idea of the sacred is quite simply one of the most conservative notions in any culture, because it seeks to turn other ideas – uncertainty, progress, change – into crimes.” In 1989, Ayatollah Khomeini of Iran issued a fatwa ordering Muslims to kill Rushdie because of blasphemous passages in Rushdie’s novel The Satanic Verses.

13. Bjork, 1995: “I do not believe in religion, but if I had to choose one it would be Buddhism. It seems more livable, closer to men… I’ve been reading about reincarnation, and the Buddhists say we come back as animals and they refer to them as lesser beings. Well, animals aren’t lesser beings, they’re just like us. So I say fuck the Buddhists.”

14. Amanda Donohoe on her role in the Ken Russell movie Lair of the White Worm, 1995: “Spitting on Christ was a great deal of fun. I can’t embrace a male god who has persecuted female sexuality throughout the ages, and that persecution still goes on today all over the world.”

15. George Carlin, 1999: “Religion easily has the greatest bullshit story ever told. Think about it. Religion has actually convinced people that there’s an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever ’til the end of time! But He loves you. He loves you, and He needs money! He always needs money! He’s all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, somehow just can’t handle money! Religion takes in billions of dollars, they pay no taxes, and they always need a little more. Now, talk about a good bullshit story. Holy Shit!”

16. Paul Woodfull as Ding Dong Denny O’Reilly, The Ballad of Jaysus Christ, 2000: “He said me ma’s a virgin and sure no one disagreed, Cause they knew a lad who walks on water’s handy with his feet… Jaysus oh Jaysus, as cool as bleedin’ ice, With all the scrubbers in Israel he could not be enticed, Jaysus oh Jaysus, it’s funny you never rode, Cause it’s you I do be shoutin’ for each time I shoot me load.”

17. Jesus Christ, in Jerry Springer The Opera, 2003: “Actually, I’m a bit gay.” In 2005, the Christian Institute tried to bring a prosecution against the BBC for screening Jerry Springer the Opera, but the UK courts refused to issue a summons.

18. Tim Minchin, Ten-foot Cock and a Few Hundred Virgins, 2005: “So you’re gonna live in paradise, With a ten-foot cock and a few hundred virgins, So you’re gonna sacrifice your life, For a shot at the greener grass, And when the Lord comes down with his shiny rod of judgment, He’s gonna kick my heathen ass.”

19. Richard Dawkins in The God Delusion, 2006: “The God of the Old Testament is arguably the most unpleasant character in all fiction: jealous and proud of it; a petty, unjust, unforgiving control-freak; a vindictive, bloodthirsty ethnic cleanser; a misogynistic, homophobic, racist, infanticidal, genocidal, filicidal, pestilential, megalomaniacal, sadomasochistic, capriciously malevolent bully.” In 2007 Turkish publisher Erol Karaaslan was charged with the crime of insulting believers for publishing a Turkish translation of The God Delusion. He was acquitted in 2008, but another charge was brought in 2009. Karaaslan told the court that “it is a right to criticise religions and beliefs as part of the freedom of thought and expression.”

20. Pope Benedict XVI quoting a 14th century Byzantine emperor, 2006: “Show me just what Muhammad brought that was new and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached.” This statement has already led to both outrage and condemnation of the outrage. The Organisation of the Islamic Conference, the world’s largest Muslim body, said it was a “character assassination of the prophet Muhammad”. The Malaysian Prime Minister said that “the Pope must not take lightly the spread of outrage that has been created.” Pakistan’s foreign Ministry spokesperson said that “anyone who describes Islam as a religion as intolerant encourages violence”. The European Commission said that “reactions which are disproportionate and which are tantamount to rejecting freedom of speech are unacceptable.”

21. Christopher Hitchens in God is not Great, 2007: “There is some question as to whether Islam is a separate religion at all… Islam when examined is not much more than a rather obvious and ill-arranged set of plagiarisms, helping itself from earlier books and traditions as occasion appeared to require… It makes immense claims for itself, invokes prostrate submission or ‘surrender’ as a maxim to its adherents, and demands deference and respect from nonbelievers into the bargain. There is nothing—absolutely nothing—in its teachings that can even begin to justify such arrogance and presumption.”

22. Ian O’Doherty, 2009: “(If defamation of religion was illegal) it would be a crime for me to say that the notion of transubstantiation is so ridiculous that even a small child should be able to see the insanity and utter physical impossibility of a piece of bread and some wine somehow taking on corporeal form. It would be a crime for me to say that Islam is a backward desert superstition that has no place in modern, enlightened Europe and it would be a crime to point out that Jewish settlers in Israel who believe they have a God given right to take the land are, frankly, mad. All the above assertions will, no doubt, offend someone or other.”

23. Cardinal Cormac Murphy-O’Connor, 2009: “Whether a person is atheist or any other, there is in fact in my view something not totally human if they leave out the transcendent… we call it God… I think that if you leave that out you are not fully human.” Because atheism is not a religion, the Irish blasphemy law does not protect atheists from abusive and insulting statements about their fundamental beliefs. While atheists are not seeking such protection, we include the statement here to point out that it is discriminatory that this law does not hold all citizens equal.

24. Dermot Ahern, Irish Minister for Justice, introducing his blasphemy law at an Oireachtas Justice Committee meeting, 2009, and referring to comments made about him personally: “They are blasphemous.” Deputy Pat Rabbitte replied: “Given the Minister’s self-image, it could very well be that we are blaspheming,” and Minister Ahern replied: “Deputy Rabbitte says that I am close to the baby Jesus, I am so pure.” So here we have an Irish Justice Minister joking about himself being blasphemed, at a parliamentary Justice Committee discussing his own blasphemy law, that could make his own jokes illegal.

25. As a bonus, Micheal Martin, Irish Minister for Foreign Affairs, opposing attempts by Islamic States to make defamation of religion a crime at UN level, 2009: “We believe that the concept of defamation of religion is not consistent with the promotion and protection of human rights. It can be used to justify arbitrary limitations on, or the denial of, freedom of expression. Indeed, Ireland considers that freedom of expression is a key and inherent element in the manifestation of freedom of thought and conscience and as such is complementary to freedom of religion or belief.” Just months after Minister Martin made this comment, his colleague Dermot Ahern introduced Ireland’s new blasphemy law.

26. Finally, here is the quote that has caused the Irish police to investigate Stephen Fry for blasphemy. Asked by Gay Byrne on RTE what he would say if he was confronted by God, Fry replied: “How dare you create a world in which there is such misery that is not our fault. It’s not right. It’s utterly, utterly evil. Why should I respect a capricious, mean-minded, stupid God who creates a world which is so full of injustice and pain?” Questioned on how he would react if he was locked outside the pearly gates, he responded: “I would say, ‘Bone cancer in children? What’s that about?’ Because the God who created this universe, if it was created by God, is quite clearly a maniac, utter maniac. Totally selfish. We have to spend our life on our knees thanking him? What kind of God would do that?””

https://atheist.ie/2017/05/25-blasphemous-quotes-in-solidarity-with-stephen-fry/

#atheist #agnostic #secular humanist #skeptic #Religion #Christianity #religious insanity