#to f*ck this man up

[gutsby]

Diehard

Pairing: dbf!Joel x Reader

Summary: Joel tries Viagra for the very first time.

Warnings: 18+. Unprotected p-in-v. Erectile dysfunction. Daddy kink. Praise kink if you squint. Overstimulation. Cumplay. She/her pussy pronouns. Pushing physical limits with a pre-negotiated safe word in place for it.

Note: No more limp dick erasure. We die like [old] men.

Part of the Waiting Game ‘verse | Word count: 986

Joel just wanted to prove he could fuck like he used to.

He didn’t think he’d almost kill you in the process.

“JOEL!” you screeched, heels digging deep in the mattress as your climax came in seismic waves.

The stimulation was insane. Normally the much-older man would have been down for the count after two—and usually one—big O, but now his chest was heaving, hips relentlessly beating a punishing pace against your own.

Your walls were slick with not only your cum but his, milky ropes of his arousal making for an obscene set of sounds every time his dick slid in and out of your cunt. You could feel his balls tighten and twitch with every forthcoming spurt of him, practically reeling with the pulse of each new sticky gift inside you. His groans rumbled low, but the power and pleasure and outright primal fervor they conveyed were unmistakeable. You had to look down, feebly, to believe it yourself—Joel never fucked his way through your orgasm and his.

Then you felt a palm slide up the back of your head, and Joel held it up to make sure you watched him fuck you.

“J-Joel,” you whimpered, watching his girth disappear and reappear at least a half-dozen times as you did.

“Just a little more, honey,” he murmured against your forehead. The smack of each thrust was dizzying, “Want my pretty girl nice and full’a me before she leaves, okay?”

Joel never could let you head back to college without a few of his loads and a head full of filthy memories—something to hold you over until your next visit home. You would’ve liked to mumble back, ‘Okay,’ but then your pussy clenched around him, and his thrusts grew faster.

“My sweet girl,” he grinned, “She likes that, huh?”

You could scarcely manage a nod. The weight of your head was held fully by him, and if that wasn’t indicative enough of your fucked-out state, your face surely said the rest. When Joel leaned back to adjust the angle of his thrusts, he caught sight of your hooded, glossy stare and almost came all over again. He slowed his pace for once.

Then he dipped a finger between your body and his, just long enough to douse the tip of his digit with cum. He bottomed out inside you, watched you part your lips in a gentle gasp, and pressed his touch to that open space.

It was almost like you didn’t have the strength to suck. You just let him smear the sticky stuff along your lower lip, gaze plastered to his. Then Joel’s cock sank deeper.

“O-ow!” you whined, partly reanimated by the stretch.

“You can take it,” Joel grunted.

The double entendre wasn’t lost on you. You could, and would, take his finger and his cock inside. You suckled dumbly on the cum-drenched fingertip in assent.

But when Joel’s finger popped out of your mouth and his thrusts picked back up, you weren’t entirely convinced you would be able to hold up the second half of that deal.

It wasn’t fair. He took one magic pill, and poof, his dick stayed hard for half the fucking day. You had nothing but your youth and two shaking legs to ensure your survival. When Joel worked his cock back and forth a couple more times and it seemed your body was about ready to scream, you took hold of his biceps and squeezed tight.

“I can’t.”

“Can’t what?”

The tip of his cock nicked a soft ridge inside you, and you jolted back. Joel’s palm was still pressed to your head, holding you to him, and his hips had you pinned as well.

Instead of answering, you whimpered.

You didn’t want him to stop, but you also weren’t sure if you could handle any more. Your eyes met his, pleading.

“Can’t what?” Joel pressed, a little more sternly.

Another whimper. Inside, Joel’s cock was rubbing that pleasure point raw, and you felt another climax coming.

“Use your words.”

“Too— too—”

Each new thrust was sending stars before your eyes. Joel was one sick man if he tried to make you talk while he fucked you past the point of all intelligible speech.

“Too what? Tell me, baby.”

You’d get that fucker back someday. Joel just grinned.

“Too much,” you hissed when his hips delivered another mind-numbing push. Then, feeling pleasure threaten to peak at almost a painful degree, “Toomuchtoomucht—”

Joel continued thrusting, knowing damn well you knew what to say if you really wanted him to stop. As if to underscore this point, he tipped your head back and made you hold his gaze, features creased with a frown.

“That sure don’t sound like the safe word to me.”

It wasn’t. You knew it wasn’t. He didn’t need to tell you twice, or even breathe a second word besides. With one more brush of Joel’s thick, throbbing, implausibly hard cock, he sent you over the edge and into your fourth orgasm of the morning, hitting that spot again and again.

And again.

And again.

Just like before, Joel fucked you through each wave, catching your lips this time to stifle your cries. You might’ve gone blind for a second or two, but that was alright; the pleasure, proximity, and then the sweet, erratic pulse of his cock sending rope after rope of his cum deep inside made the overstimulation worthwhile.

Your body went limp against the bed, held tight in Joel’s grasp, when you felt that sickly sweet dichotomy of soft, tender touches and a cock lodged between your walls that was as hard as it had ever been. Still trying to console you with kisses, still trying to warm you up for another round, perhaps, Joel almost laughed out loud in your mouth when you groaned into his and whispered:

“Please don’t ever take that fucking pill again.”

#SOMETIMES I WRITE THIS MIDDLE-AGED MAN LIKE HE’S 25 AND JUST NEED TO SHUT THE F*CK UP #*brittany broski voice* BE REALISTIC!!!!!!! #BE F*CKING FOR REAL #FOR A SECOND BE FOR REAL #joel miller #joel miller tlou #joel miller smut #joel miller imagine #joel miller one shot #joel miller x reader #joel miller fanfiction #the last of us #tlou #the last of us fic #joel miller x you #dbf!joel miller #dbf!joel

[theinfinitedivides]

'somebody kiss this man so i don't have to' ykw what we call that in this house. we call those some famous last f*cking words, Eliot Spencer sir

#tv: leverage #leverage #leverage s1 #the nigerian job #local gay watches Leverage (or their first American series in f*cking years and gets a shiny new OT3 to show for it).txt #so i did it. i gave up and started the show but who the f*ck cares really we all know the polyship did me in #also bby!Aldis. bby!Aldis did me in my love for that man even in his fetus era knows no bounds #foaming at the mouth over this i cannot wait to see all of the OT3 shenanigans with the token straights overseeing sh*t sksksksk #it's the age of the f*cking geek babe!!!!!!!!

[louisianimal]

I failed at NoNutNovember….forgive me Nut God

#deadass four days and I wake up and f*ck #like I really have no self control with this man

[girlwiththenegantattoo]

Jeb and JT images are from @plainlo-inthemorning

#because I'm avoiding work here's another one #JT would have ALOT to make up for for his past wrong doings #but I'd like to think he'd just need those few things to be a better man #we can f*ck it out of him is Jebs official slogan #hamish linklater #john tyler #tell me your secrets #my nasty man #jeb magruder #midnight mass #haimgruder #father paul hill #gaslit

[shesalewa]

HO. LY.

F-CK

IT'S OUT.

CHAPTER 482 IS HERE BABYYYY

The mom is pretty ngl. Also weren't those 2 men also in the other chapter where Daniel was tryna make a deal with Eugene?

OH MY GOSH I CAN'T. PTJ. THE FK IS WITH THIS CHILD ABUSE. PLEASE. I HATE THIS.

Gotta love the mom man. She took action. BUT THE ENTIRE CHEONLIANG IS BASICALLY ANOTHER F-CKING GODDOG ARC LIKE WHAT THE ACTUAL FU-

Okay bro. Mom what the F-CK. That's a selfish thing to do. You still have an 8 year old son. Like what the actual-

Okay like sure. Valid you can kill yourself because of what's happening. BUT NOT VALID ENOUGH TO LEAVE YOUR OWN CHILD ALONE.

Oh. My. Gosh. THIS IS ANOTHER DOOMED BY THE F-CKING NARRATIVE STORY. WHAT THE F-CK. THESE TWO HAVE CHEMISTRY B-TCH THEY'RE GAY?!

UH NO HE ISN'T WHAT THE ACTUAL FU-

HUUUHHHH?!?!

BRO WAS A JAY HONG???

B-tch don't just sit there.

Hot damn mama Cita. Baggy pants and tank top??? HELL YES. FASHION ON POINT I LOVE IT. WAIT IS THAT VINJINS JACKET DRAPPED OVER HIM???

OH OMG. HE'S HOTTER THAN ELI JANG???

Damn.

#also where is vinjins sister? #lookism #lookism webtoon #vin jin #Seongji yuk #taejin cheon #taejin #lookism spoilers #suicide #cults #okay first of all vinjin did not deserve that. second of all WHY ARE PEOPLE WITH MUTATED BODIES OR EYES ALWAYS END UP IN CULTS??? #JOHAN I'M LOOKING AT YOUR BLIND A— #LIKE HELLO??? #PTJ EXPLAIN #also TAEJIN LOOKS AND SOUND GAY AS F-CK DESPITE ONLY BEING 8YRO #CAUSE AIN'T NOBODY SAYING “you're mine” WHILE GIVING A BURGER TO THEM WHILE THEY'RE NAKED. RIGHT AFTER A RITUAL DAWG. NO ONE. LIKE WHAT FUC- #also bonus points taejin and vinjin were friends once and they look like the 3rd version of Samuel/jake or Gungoo CAUSE WHY THEY LIKE THAT? #istg. lookism is just a doomed yaoi romance with every single character bro. (zack is excluded. idk about the rest.) #(vivi and the other chinese man is also excluded. and the two Japanese mfs) #I HATE LOOKISM #I HATE IT #also taejin why you smiling and always looking at Vinjin??? WHAT ARE PLANNING TO DO TO HIM. DON'T TOUCH HIM. LEAVE HIM ALONE. #IM THROWING HANDS. I WILL THROW HANDS.

[izzyshandz]

It's easy to feel like you've been abandoned by all you've believed in.

#these images kill me #(rewatching season one again) #i dont see how anyone could ever hate or be mad at izzy #this scene was so wrecking #as someone w/ abandonment issues yes im totally projecting but also im right to #people are defending this constantly #i get they could team up and join together but instead of doing that it was left to fester and become unhealthy #imagine for 20+ years you follow this man you are slow to fall in love with #then out of nowhere hes suddenly bored of your entire life and everything you've built together #how the f*ck are you SUPPOSE to react to that? #steal stede is how #ofmd #our flag means death #izzy hands #israel hands

[roaldseth]

You see, I have two hands. One is for hunting. One is for fishing. I am taking them both to a Cabela's.

#my hunting hand holds Z'aanta #my fishing hand holds Kenneth #we are outdoorsmen #Octopath Traveler #Champions of the Continent #Octopath CotC #Kenneth #Serenoa! Fry up a Wolffort char back home style for this man ASAP! #reporting that I am enjoying CotC #I have my men so we're okay #his max boost laugh gives me joy #like yaaahs f ck it up Kenneth!

[ronnyraygun]

Some of Tim’s most underrated and disrespected looks, tbh.

#tim drake fanart #tim drake art #tim drake #ron’s art tag #shut in the fuck up ron #man respect the crew more pLEASE. #it’s a boy-cut and the only one Alfred knows how to do!!! 😭 #and so so trans-coded. #n52 Tim’s hair is so slur worthy. ♥️ #shaped like a judgmental gay man but he’s supposed to be “straight”. okay honey. 🙄 #denial is a river in egypt #you are gay. #anime haircut speaks for itself. #god-tier tbh :/// #as for depression… #yeah. #anyway #STOP DISRESPECTING HIS OTHER LOOKS BECAUSE THEY AREN’T HIS GAY ASS TWINK ASS MIDDLEPART #F U CK!!

[therootednomad]

.

#my family’s been trying to set me up with this man #who’s a close family friend #and whom they all adore for some reason #only saw him once when I was 15 and all I remember is him being tall and cute lol #and I’ve been turning it down since beginning of the year coz ‘I wanna find love on my own’ #but honestly I’m so over it #coz this shit ain’t working #it’s either that or f*ck all at this point #so I’m caving #if that flops too then I’m staying single well into my 30s #execute plan c work on myself get rich and travel the world solo #maybe I’ll find my hubby in Zanzibar

[simpalert]

Stickman oc post :3

theyre open for asks :D

#oc #art #shut the f*ck up kira #no one cares kira #kira talks #kira rambles #oc art #stickman oc #stickman #stick man oc #alan becker #ava #avm #avg #ava oc #ava ocs #animation vs animator #ava au #ocs #intro post #oc intro

[theinfinitedivides]

Jun Mo the moment Ki Cheol asked him to help him get together with his own wife:

#tv: the worst of evil #the worst of evil #wi ha joon #wi ha jun #ji chang wook #im se mi #kdrama #local gay watches TWOE (and ships everyone within sight).txt #local gay watches k-dramas.txt #the look on his face. he's like 'what sh*t is this man on someone tell me pls' #i'm the person with the hand on his arm btw. this is the worst possible timing ik but you can't kill him bby you'll f*ck up the plan #(and my ship)

[tim-hoe-wan]

People who didn’t see that Taylor is not a good person until now have super weak bullshit sensors. Only a real loser who is secretly a mean person could write a song like You Belong with Me.

#everyday since toe ended #my opinion of her sinks lower than I thought possible #and now I am really judgmental of people who still like her #imagine trying to publish fluff pieces on MG #*MH #imagine dating a man like MH #imagine not even bothering being consisered an aryan princess til it hurts your bank #or unless your publishing a propaganda #imagine misogynoir is not a deal breaker!?!?!? #f*ck her and her boyfriend #and I have a low opinion on people who would still defend her and like her as a person #before the MH gaslighters used to be a niche small group #her platforming him is just straight up vile #both of them are POS #but ykw #I truly hope they stay together #cause this way people who actually care #know she’s a pos #and not the victim she portrays herself to be

[spiderwarden]

Smash or pass >.>

She looks Solomon up and down and then straightens as she gauges his figure with a sharp and calculated eye. Then reaches down and takes his hands and lifts them up between them, turns his hands in hers and pushes the fabric near his wrists up and out of the way. Then she drops his hands and meets Solomon's eye with the rest of her hands on her hips. "The more accurate question is, how do you feel about rope, Solomon. Your answer will determine my own."

@sunderdust / smash or pass.

#[ 🕷️ ] —— inquires #[ *puts a microscope up* ] #[ see this patch on my armor? that's my certified mons*r f*ck*r patch. ] #[ the question is how KI*n*ky are you man. ]

[st4rzctrl]

BLONDE SHUA IS SO UNBELIEVABLY PRETTY!! LIKE HES SO CUTE LIKE OMGGG!!!! AND HIS SMILE????? IM IN LOVE BRO OML<33

#seventeen #svt #svt jisoo #svt joshua #joshua hong #fml #f*ck my life #fml seventeen #shua is on my mind 24/7 #i’m getting tired of this fine man taking up my brain space

[nyandereneko]

I’ve been biting my nails and stuff pretty badly again recently so I’m gonna try to imagine Vax or Zhongli or whoever happens to pop up first taking my hands (if I can remember when I’m in the moment 😭😭) and just occupying them/patting them/reminding me not to do that…not a bad habit to replace it with if I can get into it lol

#ck.txt #ck’s selfship chronicles #gonna try that as a kind of selfship specific diary/note indicator #and do a trial of being more straightforward abt how important this stuff is in my life and how much it rly affects me #bcuz my f/os are here for me man they’ve been showing up so much!! not just Zhongli and Vax but Arcanum and even newer ones like Qifrey or #Vere or Rauru they’ve just been showing up out of nowhere and I feel like I notice it p consistently at this point #am I losing my mind maybe but does it matter what’s the point of life if you can’t enjoy it anyway lmao it’s the simple things #rambling in tags is back but it’s rly just a shorthand for twit threads w/out reblogging the whole post lmao but I can still do that too #we’ll see I don’t wanna set any definitive standards I just wanna vibe

[a-lil-perspective]

I literally cannot stop causing problems™ for myself lmao. Like it is impossible for me to get my shit together. It’s currently a trifecta of

*under severe, prolonged stress* -> *has another breakdown* -> *gets COVID again*

#man f*ck my immune system #then again I deserve this #stress was gonna catch up to me one way or another #just #man what the hell #I feel like utter fckin shit #at this point I have to just laugh #bcuz my life is a joke #tw coronavirus #tw covid