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lilyrizzy · 6 months

Text

max & daniel's relationship, told through 13 years of max's google searches. thank you to @catofthecanals289 and @lajnias for reading through this for me!!! also on ao3

2010-2015

IP: 84.195.208.79 Location: Maaseik, Belgium. 4th-5th November 2010

23:32 - how do i know if i’m gay?

23:34 - how do i know if i’m gay without kissing a boy?

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00:21 - how to delete your internet history

IP: 109.237.220.159 Location: Zandvoort, Netherlands. 14th August 2011

22:34 - daniel riccardo

22:35 - daniel ricciardo

22:37 - daniel ricciardo formula renault highlights

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23:04 - daniel ricciardo facebook

23:08 - is it weird to add someone on facebook the same day you meet them?

23:11 - daniel ricciardo twitter

IP: 109.237.220.159 Location: Zandvoort, Netherlands. 15th August 2011

08:21 - daniel ricciardo twitter

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16:03 - daniel ricciardo twitter

22:34 - daniel ricciardo twitter

22:36 - daniel ricciardo hrt highlights

IP: 84.195.208.79 Location: Maaseik, Belgium. 17th August 2011

22:14 - daniel ricciardo twitter

IP: 84.195.208.79 Location: Maaseik, Belgium. 20th August 2011

23:01 - daniel ricciardo twitter

IP: 84.195.208.79 Location: Maaseik, Belgium. 14th December 2011

11:18 - daniel ricciardo toro rosso promotion

IP: 89.241.48.118 Location: Lincolnshire, United Kingdom. 2nd September 2013

09:15 - daniel ricciardo red bull promotion

IP: 217.12.181.35 Location: Adria, Italy. 11th September 2014

22:23 - daniel ricciardo wishing max verstappen luck super license video

22:31 - daniel ricciardo girlfriend

IP: 217.164.96.105 Location: Abu Dhabi United Arab Emirates. 23rd November 2014

20:12 - cool ways to say congratulations

IP: 84.192.119.8 Location: Hasselt, Belgium. 8th February 2015

19:37 - how to watch top gear in belgium

IP: 162.89.0.47 Location: Austin, TX, United States of America. 23rd October 2015

23:51 - daniel ricciardo gay

23:54 - daniel ricciardo bi

2016

IP: 217.13.124.105 Location: Barcelona, Spain. 15th May 2016

21:23 - max verstappen spain gp replay

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21:41 - how to become friends with your teammate

IP: 195.78.0.67 Location: Monaco. 25th May 2016

16:25 - how to invite someone over if they dont like to play video games

IP Location: 173.176.160.149 Montreal, Canada. 12th June 2016

21:52 - what does jailbait mean

21:56 - what does it mean if your friend calls you jailbait when he’s drunk

IP: 218.208.10.72 Location: Sepang, Malaysia. 2nd October 2016

19:41 - is it normal to be turned on drinking someones sweat

19:52 - how to hide a boner in a race suit

23:11 - gay porn curly hair sweaty

IP: 195.78.0.67 Location: Monaco. 3rd December 2016

18:11 - time difference monaco and perth

IP: 195.78.0.67 Location: Monaco 7th February 2017

19:53 - cool new movies

20:05 - best fancy beer

20:18 - best restaurant delivery monaco

IP: 94.79.192.0 Location: Bahrain 13th April 2017

00:13 - if my friend is jerking off in the bed next to me do I pretend to be asleep or join in?

01:22 - how to jerk off quietly

IP: 195.78.0.67 Location: Monaco. 1st June 2017

00:34 - what does ecstasy do to you

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01:54 - are the lights really talking to me or am i just really high

11:15 - is my friend really in love with me or was he just really high

IP: 193.224.221.253 Location: Budapest, Hungary. 30th July 2017:

15:16 - how to prove you are not a sore loser

15:42 - how to make someone laugh when they are pissed off at you

16:02 - how to say sorry

IP: 162.89.0.47 Location: Austin, TX, United States of America. 21st October 2017

18:54 - is it normal to be turned on when someone lasso’s you?

23:16 - cowboy porn gay

IP: 116.229.74.4 Location: Shanghai, China. 16th April 2018

00:32 - how to tell when someone likes you

00:41 - how to ask someone on a date if you’re already friends

00:54 - if someone says no to a date can you go back to being friends

IP 134.19.217.249 Location: Baku, Azerbaijan. 29th April 2018:

17:23 - how to make someone see something is not your fault

17:52 - moving under breaking rules formula one

17:58 - verstappen ricciardo crash baku video

18:03 - how to say sorry when it’s their fault as well

18:31 - how to say sorry without saying sorry

IP 86.167.142.227 Location: Milton Keynes, United Kingdom. 30th April 2018:

14:11 - how to get someone to stop being angry at you

IP: 195.78.0.67 Location: Monaco. 3rd August 2018

09:03 - Google Alert for: “Daniel Ricciardo”

10:12 - daniel ricciardo renault

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10:19 - do you have time to change your mind after signing a contract?

10:27 - how to tell someone they are making a mistake

IP: 217.164.96.105 Location: Abu Dhabi United Arab Emirates, 26th November 2018

00:37 - how to ask someone not to leave

00:41 - how to make someone stay

01:23 - how to know if u are in love

IP: 195.78.0.67 Location: Monaco. 3rd December 2018

11:26 - how to stay friends when you don’t work together anymore

16:41 - how to tell when someone is ignoring your calls

23:56 - kittens for sale

IP: 195.78.0.67 Location: Monaco. 25th December 2018

15:31 - if someone texts you a red heart drunk at christmas does it mean they like you?

IP: 195.78.0.67 Location: Monaco. 20th February 2019

13:54 - cool things to do with a friend in monaco

IP: 195.78.0.67 Location: Monaco. 6th April 2019

18:21 - if he keeps coming over uninvited to watch movies does that mean he likes you?

IP 46.17.160.235 Location: Silverstone, United Kingdom. 11th July 2019

13:12 - if he asks you to choose his next tattoo does that mean he likes you?

IP 37.77.109.233 Location Sochi, Russia. 30th September 2019

10:19 - if he texts you at 1 am saying he misses you does it mean he likes you?

IP 132.248.80.172 Location Mexico City, Mexico. 28th October 2019

02:29 - if yku almost kiss whe. drunk does that mean he likes you?

10:32 - how to ask someone on a date

10:45 - what to wear on a date

20:21 - how to give a really good blow job

20:32 - where to buy lube austin texas

IP 162.89.0.47 Location Austin, TX, United States of America. 1st November 2019

20:17 - what to do if they don’t realise it’s a date

20:23 - how to make it obvious to the idiot you love that it is a date

20:25 - how to make the first move

23:13 - how to know who should top or bottom

23:14 - do I have to bottom because he’s older?

23:16 - how to bring up who should bottom in a chill way

2nd November 2019

08:12 - is it normal for someone to leave in the middle of the night after sex?

08:14 - why would someone leave in the middle of the night after sex?

08:21 - how to tell someone they are an asshole.

14:21 - how to make someone realise you want to be their boyfriend

3rd November 2019

19:03 - how to ask someone to be your boyfriend?

23:41 - how soon after you start dating can you say i love you?

IP: 34.95.186.29 Location: São Paulo, Brazil. 14th November 2019:

23:12 - is it normal for your boyfriend to ask to lick your asshole?

IP: 217.164.96.105 Location: Abu Dhabi United Arab Emirates, 1st December 2019

10:13 - how soon after you start dating can you introduce them to your family?

21:21 - how to get good at rimming

IP: 84.192.119.8 Location: Hasselt, Belgium. 21st December 2019:

12:18 - how soon after you start dating can you spend christmas together?

22:42 - how to make a secret photo album on your phone

24th December 2019

22:24 - i accidentally said I love you during phone sex help

31st December 2019

23:51 - can you be too happy?

2020

IP: 195.78.0.67 Location: Monaco. 18th March 2020

15:17 - how to ask your boyfriend to quarantine with you

18:45 - can you go to australia now if you aren’t australian covid

18:47 - what would happen if you turned up at the austrlian border covid

20th March 2020

16:21 - how to tell your boyfriend you miss him without making him sad

22nd March 2020

13:45 - how to redeem fifa points on playstation

23:21 - flower delivery australia

1st April 2020

12:05 - is it normal to jerk of 7 times a day?

21:12 - mould your own dildo kit

5th April 2020

14:11 - when is lockdown going to end?

14:16 - when are australia going to open their borders?

18:45 - new playstation games that aren’t shit

18th April 2020

01:22 - how to make sure hackers arent spying on you when you have facetime sex

20th April 2020

12:10 - why is everyone making banana bread?

IP 46.17.160.235 Location: Silverstone, United Kingdom. 5th August 2020

23:43 - how to ask your boyfriend to move in with you

23:51 - if your boyfriend hasn’t gone home in 5 weeks does he already live with you or is it because of covid?

23:57 - how to ask your boyfriend to move in with you officially

IP: 46.179.240.255 Location: Spa, Belgium. 28th August 2020.

10:35 - curly hair routine

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10:51 - best shampoo for curly hair

10:53 - why does curly hair need so many products?

IP: 82.113.214.148 Location: Monza, Italy. 9th September 2020

09:21 - how many calories do you burn during sex average

09:26 - can sex replace a work out?

IP: 87.183.156.211 Location: Nürburg, Germany. 11th-12th October 2020.

18:09 - underground party near the bürburgring covid

01:52 - can you get an sti from giving head in a dirty bathroom

IP: 195.78.0.67 Location: Monaco. 18th March 2020

19:21 - why does my boyfriend never tidy up his shoes?

19:56 - how to make up after a stupid argument

23:12 - gay but find boyfriend in lacy underwear hot help?

IP: 84.195.208.79 Location: Maaseik, Belgium. 21st December 2020

21:20 - how to tell your dad you’re gay

2021

IP: 94.79.192.0 Location: Bahrain. 27th March 2021

22:32 - what to do if you are jealous of your boyfriend’s work colleague

22:33 - what to do if you are jealous of your boyfriends work colleague that is also you friend?

22:39 - romantic weekends away

22:45 - how to milk a prostate

22:57 - how to give a hickey sneakily

23:10 - diamond ‘33’ pendant

IP: 37.143.177.64 Location: Styria, Austria. 28th June 2021

01:31 - how to tell if your boyfriend is jealous of your career

01:43 - how to stop your boyfriend resenting you about your career

01:51 - how to keep work and your relationship separate

IP: 46.17.160.235 Location: Silverstone, United Kingdom. 18th July 2021

18:11 - verstappen hamilton crash silverstone who’s fault?

19:13 - signs of concussion

22:09 - can coming make a concussion worse?

22:16 - is it safe to get a blowjob when you have a concussion

IP: 109.237.223.112 Location: Zandvoort, Netherlands. 5th September 2021

22:51 - daniel ricciardo cape pictures

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23:13 - how to clean come out of iphone charging port

23:18 - am i possessive in a sexy way or a weird way?

IP: 82.113.214.148 Location: Monza, Italy. 12th September 2021

17:01 - hamilton verstappen crash who’s fault?

17:05 - daniel ricciardo monza 2021 podium

17:07 - daniel ricciardo monza shoey

17:11 - gift for boyfriend

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17:18 - dale earnhardt car for sale

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17:56 - how to increase credit card limit

IP: 162.89.0.47 Location: Austin, Tx, United States of America. 21st October 2021

11:02 - how to tell my boyfriend in a nice way that his beard looks terrible

23:41 - my boyfriend asked to keep his cowboy hat on during sex is this normal

23:52 - mens cowboy boots size 9

IP: 34.95.186.29 Location: São Paulo, Brazil. 14th November 2021

17:23 - 2021 f1 drivers standings

17:26 - verstappen penalty decision

17:31 - 2021 f1 drivers standings

20:35 - how to cheer your boyfriend up when he is sad about work

20:41 - can you sue a media company for saying mean things?

20:47 - how to sue sky sports

23:21 - 2021 f1 drivers standings

IP: 217.164.96.105 Location: Abu Dhabi United Arab Emirates. 12th-13th December 2021

21:10 - we are the champions lyrics

21:31 - abu dhabi gp 2021 replay

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01:34 - how to propose to your boyfriend

01:37 - mens engagement rings

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IP: 203.19.158.31 Location: Perth, Australia. 16th December 2021

12:12 - how to survive a two week hotel quarantine with your boyfriend

29th December 2021

14:12 - most romantic beaches in perth

14:16 - most romantic restaurants in perth

14:28 - can i propose at home in bed or is that not romantic enough

14:35 - perth sunset time

1st January 2022

11:02 - how to plan a wedding

2022

IP: 217.13.124.105 Location: Barcelona, Spain. 11th March 2022

09:33 - home remedies for covid

09:37- how to make covid go away quicker

09:41 - what happens if you get long covid?

09:43 - is 32 considered vulnerable covid

09:54 - how bad is covid at the moment?

09:59 - flower delivery barcelona

11:34 - can you catch covid from swallowing come?

IP: 50.73.157.178 Location: Miami, FL, USA. 6th May 2022

20:12 - my boyfriend isn’t eating and I’m worried

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20:26 - cheesecake recipe

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21:23 - how to tell my boyfriend one of their friends is a bad influence in a nice way

IP: 217.13.124.105 Location: Barcelona, Spain. 22nd May 2022

19:01 - fastest flights from perth to monaco first class

19:23 - is it better to book your in-laws a hotel or invite them to stay with you

IP: 195.78.0.67 Location: Monaco. 28th May 2022

16:41 - sergio perez cheater

16:45 - how to get a colleague fired

IP: 195.78.0.67 Location: Monaco. 2nd June 2022

00:37 - is it normal that my boyfriend doesnt want to have sex anymore?

00:59 - max verstappen daniel ricciardo teammate highlights video

IP: 46.17.160.235 Location: Silverstone, United Kingdom. 29th June 2022

19:01 - birthday cake delivery silverstone

IP: 91.118.57.178 Location: Spielberg, Austria. 10th July 2022

22:41 - is my boyfriend depressed?

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23:23 - what to do when you feel like you can’t help someone

23:51 - how to help someone feel loved

IP: 195.78.0.67 Location: Monaco. 13th July 2022

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IP: 193.224.221.253 Location: Budapest, Hungary. 31st July 2022

23:31 - how to hire a hitman

23:35 - can you go to prison for googling how to hire a hitman?

IP: 94.198.47.80 Location, Ibiza, Spain. 8th August 2022

14:12 - is it nepotism to get your boyfriend a job if nobody knows you’re dating?

14:16 - is nepotism really that bad?

14:26 - how to make an idea seem like your boss’s idea

IP: 109.237.220.159 Location: Zandvoort, Netherlands 5th September 2022

00:42 - my boyfriend just got fired and now he wants me to pretend i’m getting him pregnant

IP: 219.75.27.16 Location Singapore. 2nd October 2022

22:51 - zak brown memes

IP: 14.132.233.40 Location: Suzuka, Japan 8th October 2022

23:11 - I can’t stop thinking about getting my boyfriend pregnant help

IP: 162.89.0.47 Location: Austin, Tx, United States of America. 20th October 2022

14:22 - best way to tell someone you are proud of them

IP: 132.248.80.172 Location: Mexico City, Mexico. 27th October 2022

17:46 - buffalo bills game tickets

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IP: 34.95.186.29 Location: São Paulo, Brazil 13th November 2022

22:51 - vintage red bull beanie

IP: 217.164.96.105 Location: Abu Dhabi United Arab Emirates. 19th November 2022

21:31 - how to prove to someone that you’re going to stay no matter what

21:54 - registry office perth

& 2023

“Max,” Daniel calls to him from the bedroom, just as he is rinsing the shampoo from his hair. Not wanting shampoo in his eyes or his mouth, Max keeps them all firmly shut.

“Baby?” Daniel says again, louder.

The warm water is a gentle relief running over his sweat sticky skin, nowhere near the scalding temperatures Daniel sets their shower to at home. It’s why Max had insisted that they clean off separately, the Austin heat far too much for Max to endure boiling water too, despite Daniel’s pouting and dramatic insistence that Max couldn’t just ‘fuck and flee.”

“Yes,” he calls when all the suds are safely sliding past his shoulders, but he didn’t need to shout. When he opens his eyes he sees Daniel leaning against the doorway with a smirk, still wearing his unbuttoned satin shirt, cowboy hat and nothing else. His wedding ring sits heavy on his finger, and Max thumbs over the matching one on his own hand.

Max’s come is a shiny presence he can still see smeared between Daniel’s thighs.

The sight of him makes Max’s dick twitch. Daniel notices and his grin only widens.

“Baby,” he says again, too sweet. “Baby, why is your most recent Google search is it weird that my husband saying yeehaw makes me come?”

And just like that, Max suddenly longs for a hot shower, an excuse for why his cheeks start to burn red.

“Why are you snooping through my phone?” He demands, forcing himself not to turn away casually and instead keep rubbing the hotel’s own body wash under his armpits.

“I wasn’t snooping,” Daniel says easily, “I was looking to get us some ribs delivered, my phone died at the track, remember?”

Max makes a noncommittal noise because vaguely he does remember Daniel saying he needed to put it on charge. That was before Max started pawing at him the moment the hotel door shut behind them though, and then it had been forgotten by both of them.

There’s just the noise of the extractor fan whirring for a moment, but Daniel doesn’t move. When Max sneaks a glance at him, he’s still leaning against the door frame looking amused.

“Sooo.” He drawls out the word in the stupid Texas accent that Max wishes he didn’t find so strangely sexy. “Are we going to talk about this, little lady, or-“

“Nope,” Max says firmly, turning off the shower.

Daniel nods. It makes the lights of the bathroom catch on his chain and Max- Max really wants to fuck him again.

“What about the one below it?” He asks, “Daniel Ricciardo Austin 2023 photos?”

“Nope,” Max says again, stepping out of the shower and reaching for his towel. He’s smiling now too, because he knows that beneath Daniel’s teasing that one will have made him happy to see.

“Okay,” Daniel says, then he unlocks Max’s phone. “What about how to ask my husband to-“

“Daniel,” Max interrupts, taking the phone from his hand and putting it into the empty sink. “Do you want to read more of my internet history, or do you want to get back on the bed and play good cowboy, bad cowboy again?”

Daniel grins, takes the cowboy hat from his head and puts it onto Max’s. When his arms wind around Max, the silky fabric of his shirt presses cool against Max’s shower-warm skin, his nipples.

“Well, when you put it like that,” Daniel says, leaning in to put his mouth on the skin just beneath Max’s ear. “Yeehaw, baby.”

Max laughs and pinches Daniel’s ass, at the same time as his dick twitches again. Backing him out of the bathroom, towards the bed, his phone is forgotten in the bathroom.

Google never had all the answers when it came to them, anyway.

#im so shitty at making headers but I'm lazy so shhh don't judge it too hard lol #fic #max/daniel

390 notes · View notes

hometoursandotherstuff · 6 months

Text

It's so refreshing to see a colorful historic home like this 1920 house in San Antonio, Texas. By the looks of the Corinthian Columns, I would say it's a Greek Revival, but the real estate description says Victorian, and the Victorian Era ended in January of 1901. 4bds, 2ba, $775K.

The entrance hall is grand- beautiful stairs and yellow walls with a pink wall that has what I think is a Buddhist altar.

The woodwork over the doorways is so beautiful.

Cozy sitting room of the main hall.

Currently, the dining room is a very Zen space.

I expected the kitchen to be larger. Not really feeling the cabinets and it definitely needs a backsplash.

The primary bedroom is a nice large size and is very cheerful.

It looks like all the bedrooms are bright.

The black & white bath is kind of retro.

Delightful pink family room.

This is such a cheery home. The attic is finished and has a bright combination bedroom/sitting area.

Wow, look at the 2nd level porch. Those columns are gorgeous.

There's a lovely inground pool.

I don't think I've seen a more cheerful historic home.

The corner lot measures .32 acre.

#greek revival architecture #historic home #old house dreams #houses #house tours #home tour

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siryouarebeingmocked · 1 year

Photo

Teen shoots, kills masked men breaking into TX home: sheriff | Fort Worth Star-Telegram

Shannon Watts: I bet this is the NRA’s fault.

I think her definition of “arm” is rather different from mine. Or the one found in any dictionary.

I also like how the idiot Ducks had to use a story from 2016 to “prove” Good Guys With Guns don’t exist, because, uh, one guy mistook his kid for a burglar and shot him. And because Ducks is projecting their own NPCness onto everyone else.

“Armed home invaders don’t exist in any other developed country but America.” - an idiot

>Hurley, 32, and Haynes, 31, are in jail and face a long list of charges, including breaking and entering, robbery and assault, following their capture overnight on Wednesday. They were apprehended separately, without incident, according to police, and are due back in court in late September.

>Police say they forced their way into a Beaumont Street home occupied by a man and a woman in their 30s on Monday evening. The male homeowner was stabbed and seriously injured, and the attackers stole the homeowners' Honda Civic.

Oh, look at that. Armed home invaders in Canada who used deadly force.

For pete’s sake, I’ve been in a home invasion where the bad guys could’ve killed someone, and I live in the UK.

And here’s burglars who murdered a guy with a kitchen knife and a screwdriver.

Watts replies are full of people circlejerking about how teens “shouldn’t have to” defend themselves, as if gun control magically will take all the guns away from the criminals, and then no one will have a reason to shoot anyone, ever.

These people don’t know anything about crime and self-defense.

Heck, I’m pretty sure three men could overpower most 17 year olds whether or not those men are armed.

#guns #gun control #texas #gunblr #crime #everytown

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tiktaalic · 5 months

Note

What kind of gig offers $70 an hour to survive in Alaska for 3 months? (Not trying to invade your privacy, trying to figure out where I should apply lol)

I’m a medical laboratory scientist. Which is the job title that means whenever a doctor or nurse takes any kind of specimen from you I’m the guy who runs it and interprets the results and sends it back over to your doc. Pretty much every position in the medical support field (nurse surg tech xray tech anesthesiologist and me! Medical scientist/medical technologist) have travel contracts available, which is where someone’s understaffed and is having a hard time filling the position so they bump the pay waaaaay up for a short 3 month contract. Rule of thumb is the more remote the location the better the travel pay, and the worse the shift the better the pay (evening pays better than days, nights pay better than evenings). When I was in tx I was making like. $26/hr on a permanent day shift position straight out of school and in Washington $32/hr permanent evening shift. My undergrad degree is in bio so had enough prerequisites that I only had to take 3 semesters of an online CLS program to qualify to take the certification test. Which WAS brutal I’m not gonna lie but you only need 400 points out of 1000 to pass. Always happy to tell ppl about the field if they wanna know more !

#anonymous #ask

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sleepdeprivedsimp234 · 9 months

Text

~Minecraft incorrect quotes for the Main 6 cuz I love them~

=======================================================================

(To anybody that understands this reference, here’s a cookie 🍪)

Florida: COME GET YOUR MULE BITS!~ COME ONE, COME ALL!~

NY: *in the background* YOU PROMISED ME WE WERENT SELLIN’ THE BITS-

~Texas, California and DC walking up~

DC: Hey guys!

Florida: Ya want some mule bits?

Cali: Mule bits, please!

NY: (in the background) NOOO 😭 (x4)

Florida: What bit of the mule?~

Cali: Uhhh- the back :)

Florida: *walks into shop*

Texas: Ya really said- ya really said ya wanted the mules r*ctum Safe-Space you mother f*cker-

~inside the shop~

NY: NO!- I DON’T WANT TO 😭-!

Florida: Do it.

NY: I DONT WANNA….

Florida: Do it!

NY: *incoherent screams as he kills the mule*

~outside the shop~

DC, TX, CA: 👁️👄👁️💧…. *the cries of the innocent in the background*

Texas: What the f*ck?!

Florida: *walks out* Here’s your back, sir! *drops mule bits so Cali can pick them up*

Cali: What the fu-

Florida: *blocking off the entrance* We’re closed now.

Texas: *trying to hold it together* What- what part of the mules back is that 😏

*insert more sobbing in the background*

~later~

Texas: Tell you what- here’s what we do- this time we go and we save Empire (NY), alright? W-we are Child Protection Services.

Cali: I-i actually need food, im on one heart.

Texas: I don’t have any. *quite obviously has an apple in his hand*

Cali: Pfft-

~at the mule bits shop~

Texas: Ok- Florida, Florida-

Florida: Hello Texas~

Texas: Im so- W-What is this operation of yours then, eh? I can hear cries from behind you. I can hear CRIES, Florida! I can hear the CRIES of a distorted child!

Florida: Name a bit of the mule.

Texas: Oh- uh…. An*s :)

Florida: *walks into shop* New York?

Cali: Don’t make York do this!-

Texas: Wait Safe-Space- *gets some ladders* I have an idea.

~inside the shop~

NY: I NAMED THIS ONE 😭! FLORIDA I NAMED HIM 🥹!

Florida: Do it, New York.

NY: I NAMED THIS ONE 😭

Texas: *breaks roof so he can see inside*

NY: NOOOO 😭 *screams as he kills the poor mule*

Texas: WHAT THE F*CK IS THIS?! This is the SWAT, b*tch! THIS IS THE SWAT-

Cali: *falls off roof and dies*

Texas: AHHHHHHHH?!- OK- MAN DOWN (x2)! MIA MIA-

=======================================================================

DC: So…. This is what you’ve been doing while New York was apparently being forced to kill a mule by Florida?

Louisiana, standing in front of a very intricately built XP farm: Yup :D (he’s so proud of himself 😭-)

=======================================================================

Texas: No- STOP DYING PLEASE 😭

His horse: *is f*cking suffocating in a wall*

=======================================================================

NY: *bringing another dog home* Welcome to the pack buddy!

The other 32 dogs: 👁️👄👁️

=======================================================================

Loui: Hey Texas?

Texas: Yea Lou?

Loui: So y’know how we went fishing earlier?

Texas: Yea?

*insert several cats hoarding Loui*

Loui: Well I just have to say, I think I put my fish to good use :D

=======================================================================

DC: *getting attacked by phantoms at night*

DC: Damn Minecraft I get it already- Stop rubbing it in my face that I’m an insomniac-

=======================================================================

California: *finishes building his house* Finally done….

Florida off in the distance with flint and steel: :)

=======================================================================

*Florida and Loui building their house*

Florida: Should we put our beds together?

Loui: O’course sha.

Florida: No homo tho ;)

Loui: Yea no homo.

=======================================================================

NY: *bridging over the lava in the nether*

Florida, irl: *comes up behind him and grabs him from behind like the little a$$hole he is*

NY: *screams and falls* GODDAMNIT FLORIDA-

=======================================================================

#welcome to the table #welcome to the statehouse #ben brainard #wttt #wttt new york #wttt louisiana #wttt texas #wttt gov #wttt florida #wttt california #✨Minecraft✨

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mapsontheweb · 2 years

Photo

Tree cover of US states and cities.

by u/HawkingRadiation_

I saw this map earlier, and decided to replicate something similar for the US.

These calculations are from the NLCD treec over dataset, where the color for each city or state represents the average percent tree cover across the state. I think for most people it is surprising to see how much the tree cover is concentrated in the south east, specially when we think of the pacific north west, and cities like Seattle as being so tree heavy. However, when you look at this version it becomes more obvious that even some states we think of as green, actually have huge areas of open land. Eastern Oregon for example is really pretty empty of trees, mostly just shrubs and then farmland.

The "cities" are actually US urban areas, as determined by the US census. I used the 50 largest by land area-- I think it roughly correlates to cities that an international audience might be familiar with to a certain extent.

I did not include Alaska, Hawaii, or other US lands outside of the contiguous 48 because currently the NLCD website is down and i can't download the data for outside the COUS.

Interesting Findings include:

North Dakota is the lowest at 0.5% tree cover

West Virginia is the highest at 68% tree cover

Biggest negative difference (low tree city in high tree state) is Virginia Beech (20%) in Virginia(57%)

Biggest positive difference (high tree city in low tree state) is Austin (32%) in Texas (15%).

Three cities had the exact same tree cover as the state they are in, San Antonio, TX (14%), Bridgeport, CT (51%), and Philadelphia, PA (25%)

#maps #us #trees

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tearsinthemist · 30 days

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Reality Leigh Winner

Reality Leigh Winner (born December 4, 1991) is an American U.S. Air Force veteran and former NSA translator.

Reality Leigh Winner (born December 4, 1991)[5][6] is an American U.S. Air Force veteran and former NSA translator. In 2018, she was given the longest prison sentence ever imposed for an unauthorized release of government information to the media[7] after she leaked an intelligence report about Russian interference in the 2016 United States elections.[8] She was sentenced to five years and three months in federal prison.[9]

On June 3, 2017, while employed by the military contractor Pluribus International Corporation, Winner was arrested on suspicion of leaking an intelligence report about Russian interference in the 2016 United States elections from the National Security Agency (NSA) to the news website The Intercept. The report indicated that Russian hackers accessed voter registration polls in the United States with an email phishing operation,[10] though it was unclear whether any changes had been made.

Born: 1991 (age 32 years), Alice, TX

Full name: Reality Leigh Winner

Award: Commendation Medal

Parents: Billie Winner-Davis, Ronald Winner

Conviction(s): Pleaded guilty to felony transmission of national defense information

Criminal status: Released

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filmnoirfoundation · 7 months

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We are proud to announce the the winners of the FNF's NOIR CITY Magazine #38 donation drive held September 14 - 20, 2023:

1) The three winners of the four NOIR CITY Magazine - digital - back issues -- #11, #12, #15, #16 -- are:

Mark Hesse, St. Cloud, MN

Martin Zandstra, The Netherlands

Linda Fox, Cherry Hill, NJ

2) The winner of the Fantagraphics Books’ The High Cost of Dying and Other Stories by Reed Crandall, EC Comics virtuoso illustrator, and a copy of Alan K. Rode’s recently released Blood on the Moon:

Dean Curtis, Alameda, CA

3) The winner of the three FNF restorations on Blu-ray/DVDs from Flicker Alley – The Guilty/High Tide (1947), Trapped (1949), and The Man Who Cheated Himself (1950) – all with FNF-produced special features – and a signed copy of Alan K. Rode’s Blood on the Moon:

Michael Adams, Marietta, GA

4) The winner of the NOIR CITY Passport to the NOIR CITY 21 film festival, January 19 – 28, 2024 at Oakland’s Grand Theatre:

Sharon Boelhouwer, Lompoc, CA

5) The three new-subscriber winners of the five NOIR CITY Magazine back issues -- #15, #22, #23, #32, #34 -- are:

Segundo Nallatan Jr, Pingree Grove, IL

David Pedigo, Euless, TX

Gregory Montana, San Francisco, CA

6) The new-subscriber winner of Flicker Alley’s Blu-ray/DVD releases of two FNF restorations of 1950 films shot on location in San Francisco -- Woman on the Run with Ann Sheridan and Dennis O’Keefe and The Man Who Cheated Himself with Lee J. Cobb, Jane Wyatt, and John Dahl:

Elizabeth Helfgott, Brooklyn, NY

7) ADDITIONAL WINNERS: Thank you to ALL contributors for the response to this issue's donation drive. Additional winners who will receive three FNF restorations on Blu-ray/DVDs from Flicker Alley – The Beast Must Die (1952), Too Late for Tears (1949), and The Man Who Cheated Himself (1950):

Christine Kuchler, Bismarck, ND

Darrel Chase, Bel Air, MD

Scott Witmer, Ann Arbor, MI

Lise K. Wall, Idleyld Park, OR

Thank you to everyone who contributed to the Film Noir Foundation! A reminder that anyone who contributes $20 or more to the FNF and signs up our mailing list always receives a free year's subscription to the dgital version of NOIR CITY Magazine. Contributors may receive additional FNF thank you gifts depending on the amount of the donation.

#noir city #noir city magazine #eddie muller #film noir foundation #film restoration

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swiftontumblin310 · 9 months

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Taylor Swift US leg of the Eras Tour Surprise Songs (March 17-August 9, 2023)

Night 1: mirrorball & Tim McGraw (Glendale, AZ; N1)

Night 2: this is me trying & State of Grace (Glendale, AZ; N2)

Night 3: Snow on the Beach & Our Song (Las Vegas, NV; N1)

Night 4: cowboy like me & White Horse (Las Vegas, NV; N2)

Night 5: Sad, Beautiful, Tragic & Ours (Arlington, TX; N1)

Night 6: Death by a Thousand Cuts & Clean (Arlington, TX, N2)

Night 7: Jump Then Fall & The Lucky One (Arlington, TX; N3)

Night 8: Speak Now & Treacherous (Tampa, FL; N1)

Night 9: The Great War & You’re On Your Own, Kid (Tampa, FL; N2)

Night 10: mad woman & Mean (Tampa, FL; N3)

Night 11: Wonderland & You’re Not Sorry (Houston, TX; N1)

Night 12: A Place In This World & Today Was A Fairytale (Houston, TX; N2)

Night 13: Cold As You & Begin Again (Houston, TX; N3)

Night 14: The Other Side of the Door & coney island (Atlanta, GA; N1)

Night 15: High Infidelity & Gorgeous (Atlanta, GA; N2)

Night 16: I Bet You Think About Me & How You Get The Girl (Atlanta, GA; N3)

Night 17: Sparks Fly & Teardrops on my Guitar (Nashville, TN; N1)

Night 18: Out of the Woods & Fifteen (Nashville, TN; N2)

Night 19: Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve & Mine (Nashville, TN; N3)

Night 20: Come Back…Be Here & gold rush (Philly, PA; N1)

Night 21: Forever & Always & This Love (Philly, PA; N2)

Night 22: Hey Stephen & The Best Day (Philly, PA; N3)

Night 23: Should’ve Said No & Better Man (Gillette Stadium, MA; N1)

Night 24: Question…? & Invisible (Gillette Stadium, MA; N2)

Night 25: I Think He Knows & Red (Gillette Stadium, MA; N3)

Night 26: Getaway Car & Maroon (MetLife-East Rutherford, NJ; N1)✨

Night 27: Holy Ground & False God (MetLife-East Rutherford, NJ; N2)

Night 28: Welcome to New York & Clean (MetLife-East Rutherford, NJ; N3)

Night 29: I Wish You Would & the lakes (Chicago, IL; N1)

Night 30: You All Over Me & I Don’t Want to Live Forever (Chicago, IL; N2)

Night 31: Hits Different & The Moment I Knew (Chicago, IL; N3)

Night 32: I Almost Do & Haunted (Detroit, MI; N1)

Night 33: All You Had To Do Was Stay & Breathe (Detroit, MI; N2)

Night 34: Mr Perfectly Fine & The Last Time (Pittsburgh, PA; N1)

Night 35: seven & The Story of Us (Pittsburgh, PA; N2)

Night 36: Paper Rings & If This Was A Movie (Minneapolis, MN; N1)

Night 37: Dear John & Daylight (Minneapolis, MN; N2)

Night 38: I’m Only Me When I’m With You & evermore (Cincinnati, OH; N1)

Night 39: ivy & Call It What You Want (Cincinnati, OH; N2)

Night 40: Never Grow Up & When Emma Falls In Love (Kansas City, MO; N1)

Night 41: Last Kiss & dorothea (Kansas City, MO; N2)

Night 42: Picture to Burn & Timeless (Denver, CO; N1)

Night 43: Starlight & Back To December (Denver, CO; N2)

Night 44: This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things & Everything Has Changed (Seattle, WA; N1)

Night 45: Message in a Bottle & Tied Together With A Smile (Seattle, WA; N2)

Night 46: right where you left me & Castles Crumbling (Santa Clara, CA; N1)

Night 47: Stay Stay Stay & All The Girls You Loved Before (Santa Clara, CA; N2)

Night 48: I Can See You & Maroon (Los Angeles, CA; N1)

Night 49: Our Song & You Are In Love (Los Angeles, CA; N2)

Night 50: Death By A Thousand Cuts & You’re On Your Own, Kid (Los Angeles, CA; N3)

Night 51: Dress & exile (Los Angeles, CA; N4)

Night 52: I Know Places & King Of My Heart (Los Angeles, CA; N5)

Night 53: New Romantics & New Years Day (Los Angeles, CA; N6)

@taylorswift @taylornation

#taylor swift #taylornation #taylurking #lover #love #rep tour #coffee time #folklore #eras mug #speak now #eras tour #eras #surprise songs #us leg #the eras tour #1989 #taylors version

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sukipershipper · 1 year

Photo

WVBA Presents: THE LADIES OF THE RING!!

The WVBA finally opened up a bracket for the beautiful women from around the world! Exceptional and proud talents from all over! Managed by the beautiful, Ada Krowlinsky! Let’s get to know them!

JUNIOR CHALLENGER

Junebug (June Masters) Age: 17 Height: 5′5 ft Weight: 107lbs Home: Manhattan, NY, USA Record: ??? “A new challenger, hailing from the Big Apple, Junebug is a goofy, sometimes clumsy, fighter. Her ethics are heavily inspired by her trainer, who seemed to have a fighting past herself, and she is heavily determined to punch her way to the top!” MINOR CIRCUIT

3: Glacier North (Tala Williams) Age: 18 Height: 4′9 ft Weight: 113lbs Home: Iqualit, NV, Canada Record: 10-6 (7 KO’s) “A timid soul, but a fierce fighter. Glacier North is the youngest fighter in the CVBA. Though she doesn’t rank very high, many see her untapped potential. If only she wasn’t so meek.”

2: Luz Fiesta (Luna Ramirez) Age: 32 Height: 5′11 ft Weight: 192lbs Home: Bogota, Colombia Record: 12-13 (9 KO’s) “The life of the party, Luz Fiesta is here to put a smile on your face, dazzle you with her antics and knock out her opponents while dancing around in the ring. What fun!” 1: Mama Belle (Leah Belle) Age: 40 Height: 5′11 ft Weight: 200lbs Home: Houston, TX, USA Record: 10 - 3 (4 KO’s) “Sweet as a button and coated with sugar, Mama Belle delights the ring with her sweet, southern hospitality and a punch that will make her opponents cookies crumble.” Champion: TJ Storm (Maria Teorokai) Age: 19 Height: 6′2 ft Weight: 203lbs Home: Rarotonga, Cook Islands Record: 17-10 (13 KO’s) “From across the sea comes a storm, TJ Storm. She’s mighty, she’s brutal and she’s determined to knock out her opponents, no matter what. Though far from home, TJ never forgets where she’s from and many assume the reason she fights so well is because of the family who she has close to her heart.” MAJOR CIRCUIT: 3: Louella Swansong (Alla Vinogradov) Age: 25 Height: 6′3 Weight: 166lbs Home: Saint Petersburg, Russia Record: 10-9 (5 KO’s) “A beautiful dancer, part time worker in a stage theatre, and a graceful disposition wherever she goes, Louella is a talented performer and even more talented boxer, and knows how to pack quite a punch when she isn’t fuzzing over getting her mitts dirty”

2: Sheriff Dusty (Winifred Parris) Age: 32 Height: 6′2 ft Weight: 189lbs Home: Frankfort, KY, USA Record: 20-7 (11 KO’s) “From the countryside of Kentucky, Dusty is a hardworking and fun individual. Inspired by one of the champion boxers in Branch A, she took the ring almost immediately, wanting to experience the thrill, failure, but mostly joy that being in the ring had to offer!” 1: Rosa Mariposa (Carmen Balmori) Age: 20 Height: 4′11 Weight: 122lbs Home: Madrid, Spain Record: 19-3 (2 KO’s) “The gorgeous gem of Madrid, and girlfriend of the Major Circuit Champ, Don Flamenco, Carmen, otherwise known by her pseudonym, Rosa Mariposa, is an elegant opponent. With a spring in her step and a flutter in her heart, she wows the crowd with her presentation and a few moved she learnt from her Amor” Champ: Barbella Bambina (Bella Mancini) Age: 29 Height: 5′8 ft Weight: 230lbs Home: Milan, Italy Record: 23-4 (19 KO’s) “From Italy, and proud to be it, Barbella is a strongman in the same circus as Mad Clown! Though she has an intimidating appearance, she can be quite funny and goofy, though she is a bit daft with her jokes now and again. But when it comes to the ring? Ohoho, you better watch out, before she drops her bar on you!” WORLD CIRCUIT

4: Heat Wave (Sydney Robinson) Age: 30 Height: 6′0 ft Weight: 192lbs Home: Sydney, NSW, Australia Record: 25-2 (21 KO’s) “As fiery as her name suggests, Heat Wave brings a fistful of fire to her matches. She’s the hot personality that is sure to knock the socks off of folks both in and out of the ring. However, though fiery, she has been seen being very *chill* outside the ring, and especially around her best friend, Blaze Hinabi.” 3: Cajun Jewel (Edmee Boudreaux) Age: 68 Height: 5′8 ft Weight: 118lbs Home: New Orleans, LA, USA Record: 24-2 (20 KO’s) “Dubbed The Beauty of the Bayou and The Voodoo Queen, Cajun Jewel is one old lady you don’t wanna mess with, always carrying a new trick up her sleeves. A true pioneer of the Louisiana spirit, you best watch out when her eyes start to glow, it never ends up good for her opponents!” 2: Mane Event (Becky Smith) Age: 31 Height: 6′1 ft Weight: 202 lbs Home: Las Vegas, NV, USA Record: 19-2 (11 KO’s) “A masked felon, Mane Event is the true heel of the woman’s bracket. Hiding behind her mask of shame after trying to kill a soul singer in Vegas, she took to boxing as an outlet. She’s a vengeful and ruthless soul, uncontrollable but still no match for her own inner beast...maybe one day...” 1: Maple Rose (Rochelle Lavoie) Age: 30 Height: 4′9 ft Weight: 199lbs Home: Montreal, QB, Canada Record: 25-1 (22 KO’s) “A gorgeous and graceful soul, Maple Rose is the true show stealer, with beautiful attire, personality and pretty much everything else, the only thing she could be missing is a bad hair day. Maple Rose may look dainty, but don’t let that fool you, this is one rose who isn’t afraid to hit you with her thorns.” World Champ: Blaze Hinabi (Emi Sato) Age: 21 Height: 6′1 ft Weight: 130lbs Home: Kyoto, Japan Record: 27 - 0 (27 KO’s) “Whether she be a crackling bonfire, or a calm, flickering flame, Blaze literally blazes through her opponents and lays waste to anyone who stands in her way. Proud to stand in the ring as the youngest Woman’s champion to date, she is a cool fire that will never, ever die.”

#punch out #punch out wii #punch out!!#punchout #punch out oc #WVBA #Girls bracket #Long post #arohamai whanau lmao

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bearterritory · 9 months

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12 Talented Transfers Bolster Cal Football

Golden Bears Solidify 2023 Roster with Experienced Veterans

BERKELEY – The California football team has officially added a dozen players to its roster since the end of spring football with the signings of QB Luke Bottari (Utah), WR Taj Davis (Washington), RB King Doerue (Purdue), WR Marquez Dortch (Mississippi State), QB Ben Finley (North Carolina State), RB Isaiah Ifanse (San Jose State/Montana State), OL Barrett Miller (Stanford), P Thomas Lee (Cal Poly), DB Patrick McMorris (San Diego State), DB Marcus Scott II (Missouri), OL Matthew Wycoff (Texas A&M), and OLB Tidiane Jalloh (Independence Community College)

Below are highlights on each of the signees: Luke Bottari – QB, 5-10, 205, R-Jr., 5th Collegiate Season San Mateo, CA (Utah/College of San Mateo/Serra HS) – Completed 338-of-550 passes for 4,673 yards with a school career-record 46 touchdowns and 13 interceptions for a quarterback rating of 155.7 at College of San Mateo – Named the Northern California Player of the Year while adding All-State honors as a 2019 freshman – Led Serra High School to its first state title as a 2017 prep junior Taj Davis – WR, 6-1, 205, R-Jr., 5th Collegiate Season Upland, CA (Washington/Upland HS) – Played in 24 games with 10 starts in his final two seasons as a 2021 redshirt freshman and 2022 sophomore at Washington – Contributed two-year career totals of 47 receptions, 606 yards receiving and four touchdown catches, while also playing on special teams and adding six tackles all as a 2022 sophomore – Ranked as the nation's No. 54 wide receiver according to Rivals in the 2019 high school recruiting class

King Doerue – RB, 5-10, 205, R-Jr., 5th Collegiate Season Amarillo, TX (Purdue/Tascosa HS) – Played in 32 games with 16 starts in four seasons at Purdue from 2019-22 – Rushed 309 times for 1,145 yards and 10 touchdowns, while adding 47 receptions, 381 yards receiving and three touchdown catches Marquez Dortch – WR, 6-0, 170, R-Fr., 2nd Collegiate Season Lucedale, MS (Mississippi State/George County HS) – Played in one game and recorded one reception for one yard in a single campaign at Mississippi State in 2022 but did not use a season of collegiate eligibility – A consensus four-star recruit in the 2021 class who was ranked the nation's No. 24 wide receiver by 247Sports

Ben Finley – QB, 6-3, 205, R-So., 4th Collegiate Season Phoenix, AZ (North Carolina State/Paradise Valley HS) – Played in eight games at NC State with two starts over three campaigns, completing 83-of-152 passes for 912 yards with four touchdown tosses – Led the Wolfpack to a 30-27 double-overtime win at No. 18 North Carolina as a 2022 redshirt freshman in his first career start in North Carolina State's regular-season finale, connecting on 27-of-40 passes for 271 yards with two touchdowns and no interceptions Isaiah Ifanse – RB, 5-9, 205, R-Sr., 6th Collegiate Season Bellevue, WA (San Jose State/Montana State/Bellevue HS) – Played in 40 games in four seasons at Montana State (2018-19, 2021-22) and finished as the school's all-time leading rusher with 3,742 yards and scored 25 touchdowns on the ground to rank sixth on Montana State's all-time list on 630 carries for a program that posted a 43-14 overall record, made the FCS Playoffs each season including a trip to the title game during his 2021 junior campaign, and won a share of the Big Sky title as a 2022 senior – Became Montana State's first All-American running back since 1982 (second-team AFCS, Associated Press, Hero Sports, Stats Perform) and All-Big Sky running back since 2011 as a junior in 2021, when he established a single-season school-record with 1,623 yards rushing and scored 10 touchdowns on the ground on 280 carries that were the second most in school history

Barrett Miller – OL, 6-5, 315, Sr., 5th Collegiate Season Aurora, CO (Stanford/Eaglecrest HS) – Played in 38 games with 30 starts (26 at left guard and four at right guard) over four seasons at Stanford from 2019-22 including all 18 starts possible during both his COVID-shortened 2020 and 2021 sophomore seasons – A four-star recruit in the prep class of 2019 according to 247Sports

Thomas Lee, P, 5-11, 185, R-Sr., 6th Collegiate Season San Ramon, CA (Cal Poly/Dougherty Valley HS) – A member of the Cal Poly football program for his final three years – Became the team's starting punter for the final nine games of his 2022 senior season and punted 31 times for 1,152 yards (37.2 ypp) – Finished his career with 33 punts for 1208 yards (36.6 ypp) with his 2 longest punts for 56 yards Patrick McMorris, DB, 6-0, 210, Sr., 5th Collegiate Season Santa Ana, CA (San Diego State/Santa Ana HS/Godinez Fundamental HS) – Played in 42 games with 27 starts at San Diego State from 2019-22 and contributed 162 tackles, 6.5 tackles for loss (-14 yards), five interceptions that he returned for 61 yards, 15 pass breakups, 20 passes defended and two fumble recoveries, including one that he returned 30 yards for his lone career touchdown – Earned first-team All-Mountain West Conference as both a 2021 sophomore and 2022 junior to become just the second San Diego State safety to pick up spots on two All-MWC first-team squads – A team captain as a 2022 junior who was named the preseason Mountain West Co-Defensive Player of the Year and also was a member of preseason first-team All-MWC teams by four publications, as well as on watch lists for the Senior Bowl and for the Chuck Bednarik Award and Bronko Nagurski Award given to the nation's top defensive player – Listed as a four-star transfer by 247Sports

Marcus Scott II – DB, 6-0, 180, R-Fr., 2nd Collegiate Season Houston, TX (Missouri/Conroe HS/College Park HS) – Did not see any game action or use a season of collegiate eligibility as a 2022 true freshman at Missouri – Totaled 55 tackles, four interceptions, 18 pass breakups, three forced fumbles and two fumble recoveries as a prep during his 2020 junior at College Park High School and 2021 senior campaign at Conroe High School, while picking up three touchdowns in his career on a pick six, a 75-yard scoop and score, and an onside kick that he returned 65 yards – A four-star recruit of Rivals both in the 2023 transfer portal class and 2022 high school class, while also being listed as the No. 34 cornerback coming out of high school Matthew Wykoff – OL, 6-6, 330, R-So., 3rd Collegiate Season Magnolia, TX (Texas A&M/Magnolia HS) – Played in 16 games with nine starts over two campaigns as a 2021 true freshman and 2022 redshirt freshman at Texas A&M – Earned a spot on the SEC's All-Freshman squad – Ranked as the No. 34 offensive tackle in the 2021 recruiting class according to Rivals

Tidiane Jalloh, OLB, 6-5, 270, So., 2nd Collegiate Season Toulon, France (Independence Community College) – Contributed eight tackles with 0.5 tackles for loss (-2 yards) in six games off the bench as a 2022 true freshman in his first season of American football –Ranked as the nation's No. 9 defensive lineman in the 2023 junior college recruiting class by 247Sports Composite

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