#unless im in a void alone then i think im ok

[neptune-scythe]

Me: feels good about my art abilities

Sees someone else's art

Me: I'm the worst artist ever gotta burn everything I've ever created crawling in a dark hole disappearing forever do not percieve me I don't exist

#i simply have no self esteem #unless im in a void alone then i think im ok #but as soon as other people exist #i am the worst #artist struggles #artist life #digital art #digital artist #fanart #fanartist

[warmau]

Love Struck!AU x SF9

lately i just need to write about every member of every kpop group being in capital L love. find other love struck!aus here: monsta x | day6 | ateez | the boyz

youngbin

overcompensates with selfless acts that go above and beyond what any person deserves

offers to carry your bags, learns about plumbing when you mention you have a leaky faucet, asks if you want him to drive you to your appointments which you are perfectly fine getting to on your own

if there was a puddle of mud on the ground, youngbin would throw his brand new jacket over it just so you could walk over it

even though you could literally just. walk around it

doesn't even realize he's overdoing it

he just loves you and therefore knows he has to show it at any given part of the day

but not like in an aggressive manner

just a small smile and a "i can pick you up and drop you off if you want!"

dawon: actually, youngbin, we have practice at that tim-

youngbin, shoving a sandwich down dawon's throat: so you said noon right?

when you respectfully decline any of his help, mostly because you are worried you're using your friend for his kindness, everyone assures you that's not it

actually everyone is super confused how you haven't seen why it is weird that youngbin would commit hours of research for you when you ask offhandedly if you should visit europe for the summer and then show up at your door with ten pamphlets on different european destinations 'by chance'

because - that's weird - and weird means, in the great way of sf9, that he has a crush on you

"youngbin, you're being so nice to me these days how could i ever repay you?

youngbin about to say that there's nothing you need to do, he just likes being able to help

dawon, shoving a sandwich down youngbin's throat for revenge and also to answer on his leader's behalf: "actually, if you could finally go on a date with him - i think that would repay it."

you get all shy and murmur that you don't know if youngbin wants that, and youngbin can only vigorously nod that he does

(due to the sandwich)

inseong

no clue if puppy syndrome is a thing, but he's got it

the human embodiment of big puppy eyes whenever you're around, big puppy pout, big puppy wagging his tail at just the mention of your name

even without all that - the energy that exists around inseong when you are near him and giving him attention - it's enough to quite literally blow everyone and everything else away

and there are lasting effects

as in you walk away from the conversation and fifteen minutes later inseong still can't make out a single word, just chin on his palm - daydreamy look in his eyes

jaeyoon tries snapping his fingers in his face, tickling him, even flicking his best friend straight on the forehead but.

nothing.

the only way he breaks out of the spell you cast on him is either a long time passes or you show up again and inseong is back at your full attention

it's getting bad, like to a point where he walks into walls or drops his phone in the sink when he starts thinking about you

incidents where he nearly topples over onto poor chain who is like get off of me you are built like a skyscraper

or just flat out doesn't move a muscle in the right direction during practice and it's literally driving youngbin mad

so jaeyoon (like the best friend he is) arranges for you to come hang out with him but tada it's actually a candlelight dinner in the sf9 kitchen he and the rest of the boys set up for you and inseong

and you're like w....whats all this and inseong is like i don't know either

and jaeyoon (who like the best friend he is picked the nicest smelling candle from the tj maxx sale aisle) appears and lights it and is like this is for you two to confess and for inseong to be cured of puppyism

you: puppyism?

inseong, red as a tomato: i think he means like the way i act around you like a - um -

jaeyoon: like a lovesick puppy, so like....collar him or whatever

you and inseong both looking at him like do what? and jaeyoon is like sorry that didn't come out right

either way you get the point please date the oversized man whose brain wont work unless you give him a kiss

jaeyoon

opposite of his best friend, jaeyoon doesn't need to fall over his feet when he's lovestruck

he will literally just let you know how he feels

"i like you"

you smile at him and laugh, "i like you too!"

and jaeyoon is like amazing so we are both "liking" each other how lovely how nice

and that is....................where it ends

he literally is so preoccupied with the concept of confessing that he forgets the part where he has to like.

confirm the relationship

so for like a month after you are both just saying 'i like you' to each other and he thinks it's romantic and you still think it's platonic

it's a mess

he keeps asking himself when the right time to ask you to go to the movies with him is, if he should pull out the home cooking - why haven't you pulled out the home cooking? do you not "like" him enough for that?

he paces around before you come over because is he dressed too casual - i mean he's your boyfriend, he should put effort into it right?

and then you show up and nothing is different and everything is the same and when inseong is like

jaeyoon you're dating them right, why don't you guys like kiss? and jaeyoon is like holy shit i haven't even thought about that yet

and dawon is like how have you not thought about that kissing is all i think about ever

and so jaeyoon's head gets even more scrambled because now you come over and he's like ..... kiss......lips......mouth...hand? kiss on mouth...hand...lips.....hug?

and you're like what? and he's like hug lips mouth? and you're like jaeyoon are you ok?

oh my god at some point you're both alone and jaeyoon is walking you home or something and he reaches out to grab your hand because like that's normal right? people dating do that right?

and you're like oh! and he's like is this ok? and you're like a-does it mean something?

and jaeyoon is like it means the same thing as i like you....you know....like how i said it a month ago and i just thought we could take the next step-

he's rubbing his neck and blushing and he has always been sauve and straightforward and it dawns on you that the entirety of this month he has been saying he likes you like in that way

and you're like wait you like-love me? and he's like yes wait what did you think- and you're like i thought it was like-like ....like friend like?

you and jaeyoon just staring at each other and then he's like should i let go of your hand then

and you're like no. actually just kiss me we've wasted a LITERAL month

dawon

always the class clown, being lovestruck somehow only tends to make it worse

but not worse like oh he gets louder and cracks more jokes.

my man has upgraded to mildly dangerous body humor.

you are all together and dawon is suddenly like you guys think i can climb that uneven, rickety tree? and youngbin is like no and you're like no but dawon is like it'll be fun just watch

dawon: should i drink spoiled milk

you: why-

dawon: im hardcore it'll be fine - look im just a goofy guy who - oh my god. call an ambulance.

the idea is that every time you are in the vicinity and glowing like an angel without a halo dawon is like

gotta do something so outrageously stupid that it grabs their attention and/or lands me in a situation where i can excuse myself to run away from my feelings. perfect.

it's literally the dumbest logic on the planet

everyone tells him it's the dumbest logic on the planet

but dawon is convinced it's the best reaction to....to the butterflies in his stomach

of course, you don't find any of it amusing, you are just in a constant state of worry

one time dawon takes it too far and probably tries to do something that could actually seriously hurt him

and you stop him by grabbing him and being like stop - i don't know why you don't care about yourself but i care about you so stop being stupid

and dawon is staring down at you like

"pause, you care about me? like on a scale of 1-10 how muc-"

you kiss him and mutter a "11" and dawon thinks he sees stars

youngbin thanking you profusely like we were worried for his actual literal life

zuho

rather scream into the void than confront how he feels about you

the private twitter account is blowing up with tweets about how he wants to hold your hand and how that makes him pathetic

dawon replying under each of them: tru

rowoon replying under each of them: not true!!!!! love is awesome!!!! pog as chani would say!!!!!!

you talk to him about something and his ears are full of white noise and he cant help but think about how your face is somehow the most beautiful thing he's ever seen and how he could write a whole album about the curve of your nose and the color of your eyes and -

you ask him what he thinks and he can only reply with a sound that is both pained and high pitched and when you raise your eyebrow he's like gtg uh feed my cats

when you're around he disappears to "feed his cats" like . ten times

surprisingly being a lovestruck fool does fuel his ability to make music

but it is also sad and about being heartbroken and the members are like hey do you wanna talk about it and zuho is like no

there are spotify playlists with your name, there are journal entries about you, there are iPhone notes app scribbles about you

he's down bad

everyone knows he's down bad

you also figure out he's down bad and so you finally confront him

except you're like......... zuho who are you in love with? ill help you if i can

and he looks at you like a deer in headlights because that's the most bizarre shit you could ask him

and because of the shock he blurts out the truth

"you. i love you."

screams after and you jump up and he's like i need to leave and you're like AT LEAST LET ME SAY IT BACK?????

rowoon

it's the cluelessism of it all

he looks at you one day and instead of just being a person you are beaming at him like a direct sunray and he's like woah! weird!

he just kind of becomes more clumsy around you since you've got this new effect on him

trips over his big feet, giggles randomly while you're talking, forgets he's in the middle of the street when you're walking by his side and someone has to honk three times for him to start walking again

honestly no one can tell what's wrong with him

because is he like ... is it early onset amnesia? is he just spacing out?

even chani notices the shift because rowoon has gone from annoying him to laying half off the couch with his hand in an empty pringles can

"what are you thinking about?"

rowoon just mutters your name and chani is like .... i don't know about all this but maybe you like them?

reality hits rowoon like a freight truck .... liking you? that's new

he googles 'what to do when you like someone?' literally googles it

tries to show you by playing it cool, tries to show you by showering you in random compliments but he's tongue tied when you smile so he's like i love your hair it looks like. cheese

embarrasses himself over and over and over until he just hunches himself over one day and is like

why is liking someone so hard? isn't it supposed to be easy?

and you're like haha i know the feeling, ive liked someone for so long but he never takes a hint and rowoon is like omg who

and you look at him and you're like well he's a tall clueless handsome guy

and rowoon stares at you like he sounds nice

and you're like you

and he's like oh that's nice - WAIT

taeyang

flirts with you but it flops because he's been flirting with you since you first met

so you cannot tell the difference and taeyang is like what am i doing wrong

inseong: karma for always winking and calling them cute when now you want them to do it back to you

taeyang: shuttup sad old man

inseong: you've been hanging out too much with chani. sniffle

he decides ok so regular flirting doesn't work, so what about lowkey flexing?

he wears the expensive watch and puts his hand in front of you like, hey and you're like hi? and he's like notice anything? and you're like .... um..... oh, your tag is sticking out of your shirt! and taeyang is like .........F

ok so not flexing, what about compliments?

he piles like ten of them on you and you're like oh - thanks, but i don't really like this outfit anyway and he's like....F

ok so not flexing, compliments, let's try playing hard to get

he gives you the cold shoulder when you come over and you immediately are like taeyang are you mad at me if you are im sorry so stop being a weirdo and he's like........F

finally he just reverts to himself and just keeps up the regular flirting and the soft touches and smiles

and he realizes the difference now is when he flirts - he just has to follow up on it

so when he asks " i cant taste my lips, can you do it for me?"

and you reply with "sure" and roll your eyes

he just . does kiss you and you're like oh.

and he's like well what do you say and you're like your lips taste sweet and he's like NO I MEAN-

you just kiss him again because now you get what he actually means LOL

hwiyoung

sulks when you're not around, and then doesn't go near you when you are around

it's like please make up your mind

is the definition of if i stare at you long enough you will fall in love with me right?

but he stares from ten feet away

it takes everyone all their strength to drag him out of his room when you're over and even then he puts his hoodie up and plays with his shoelaces and acts like he's a five year old

when he gets put next to you in the car ride somewhere he almost passes out from holding his breath from nervousness and you turn to him and you're like hwi you're turning purple?!?!?

you tap his shoulder when he isn't looking and call him hwi~ and he thinks his knees like. give out he crumbles to the floor and you're like oh my god are you sick??!?!!?

to put it simply, being in love forces him to lose his human ability to live

gets a pep talk from literally every member about how he cannot act like this. it's giving you the wrong impression and yet he just

he can't do anything about it you enter his personal space and the little nerves in his brain go haywire

"i don't want them to think im being rude, but it's kind of like im allergic to them."

"oh - you're allergic to me?"

hwiyoung turns and you're giving him a look and he's like oh god i mean - i don't - i mean like -

and he doesn't know what to say but you just giggle and you're like "fine, if you're allergic we'll have to make immune"

and he's like blinking like wha-

you wrap your hands around him and he's like !!!! and you're like here just take me in large doses until you build up immunity ok?

hwiyoung nodding because he has forgotten the entirety of the korean language

chani

realizes he's being freaking weird when he bails on his plans to eat and game to hang out with you

prioritizing social interaction over being alone in his room......now that's not normal

yes, ok, so he likes you - but now he's like

no one can ever know that. i will not be left alone if anyone finds out.

unfortunately, he asks jaeyoon of all people if he knows what food you like and jaeyoon is like

OH YOU WANNA ASK THEM ON A DATE RIGHT SO YOU WANNA LOOK UP RESTAURANTS WITH THAT FOOD RIGHT?

chani standing in the doorway like. what. no....

the minute chani starts picking the spot next to you when you're all together is his downfall

the entire world knows how he feels and he's like oh fuck seriously

he helps you go shopping and he comes home and every member is just like :) tell us about the date :)

and he's like SHUTTUP

calls you by a nickname and rowoon almost chokes on his food in surprise, because chani?????? gave someone???? a nickname????? and it isn't a combination of the word ass and hole?????

he cannot escape the fact that little things for others, are big things for him

being attentive and caring and even just smiling in your presence is enough to give away how he's feeling

let alone he dropped a rank in league so everyone is like ah - he's distracted with someone~!

it gets unbearable to a point where chani is like i cant live with these people always bothering me so im just going to confess

he pulls you aside and is like "i want to date you - is that ok?" and you're like of course, was wondering when you'd ask dummy and he's like,,,,,,listen,,,,

assumes the teasing will die down when you both come into the room holding hands

BUT OH IS HE WRONG

inseong: i got dibs on being the wedding planner, eat dirt youngbin

#sf9 scenarios #sf9 au #sf9 imagines #sf9 x reader #youngbin scenarios #inseong scenarios #jaeyoon scenarios #dawon scenarios #rowoon scenarios #chani scenarios #hwiyoung scenarios #taeyang scenarios #zuho scenarios #youngbin au #jaeyoon au #chani au #inseong au #rowoon au #zuho au #taeyang au #sf9 #sfw #lovestruck!au #youngbin imagines #inseong imagines #jaeyoon imagines #dawon imagines #rowoon imagines #chani imagines #hwiyoung imagines

[angstysebfan]

Laser-Like Focus - Chapter 4

Pairing:  Bucky x reader

Summary: You met Bucky while working with the Avengers. You fell in love and got married. One thing you had in common was to kill all members of HYDRA. Bucky for his known reasons, and you because they killed your parents in front of you when you were a little girl. Soon your focus on HYDRA pulled you and Bucky apart. He decided to leave the Avengers and after a long separation, sent you divorce papers. He comes back to get the signed papers, as he is about to get married again. But everything with you and Buck is an adventure.

You ride in one truck with some of your team, and Bucky made sure to ride in the separate truck. You know it was to show you that even though he was here, it was not for you. You know you can’t blame him, but you would be lying if you didn’t say it stung. 

You made it to a meet up location just outside the buildings. You started sprouting out orders to everyone, planning on going in alone to check out the building and having everyone else on the perimeter. Bucky interrupted you, “I’m going in,” he says. You look at him for a moment, “Barnes, I think it’s better if only 1 person goes in,” you say.

He shrugs, “Then stay out here, but I’m going in,” he says. You roll your eyes and look at the rest of the team, “Man the perimeter, Barnes and I are going in. Keep your comms on channel 2,” you say as you all adjusted your comms. You turned and looked at Bucky and gave him a nod, before heading toward the building.

You both walk in, guns drawn, just in case there was anyone here. You watch each others back and keep moving through the lower level of the building. It felt like old times, the nostalgia killing you. After you checked the first floor you moved up. Once the 2nd and 3rd floor were clear you headed back down. 

“I told you there was no one here,” you said as you strapped your gun back into it’s holster. Bucky looked around the room and saw the wall falling away on 1 side. he walked over and pushed, and found a hidden door. “Then why is there a hidden door? he asked with a smirk. You walked up to him, looking at the door in awe and then shot him a smirk, “After you Special Agent Barnes,” you said. 

Bucky nodded and walked in, as you quickly drew your gun again and walked in behind him. As soon as you got past the door, it slammed shut behind you and the small room you were in started to fill with mud and water. Bucky ran back to the door and started punching it with his metal arm, but it wouldn’t budge.

“Anyone hear me? Barnes and I are trapped in a trap room on the first floor. Can anyone hear me?” you call on the comms with no answer. You look at Bucky with fear in your eyes, “They must have something around the walls to block the signal,” you say. Bucky continues to pound on the door with his metal arm, as you look around to see if there is another place you can get out.

You quickly point your gun at the door, but Bucky stops you, “If it ricochets, we could die,” he says. You look at him like he is crazy, “Well it looks like we are going to die anyway,” you say, trying to stay calm. You try the comms again, but no answer. The muddy water is now up to your waist, “This was a great idea,” you say. Bucky looks at you, “I am going to get you out of here, you hear me? I will,” he says.

You look into his eyes and see truth, and something else. Something you haven’t seen in a long time. You shake it away, knowing he couldn’t be looking at you more then his soon to be ex-wife. He has someone else now. Someone else to love, and it’s your fault. You look at him again, “Bucky, I... I just want to say I’m sorry,” you say.

Bucky looks at you, as the water continues to rise now to your shoulders, “Y/N, keep you apologizes. You are getting out of here,” he says. “Doesn’t change the fact that I’m sorry,” you say, standing on your tippy toes to keep the water away from your mouth. Bucky gives you a small smile, “It’s fine, Doll. Don’t...”

Bucky was interrupted by banging against the door. He pulled you into his arms, away from the door, and it was finally kicked in by Steve. All the water and mud spilled out of the room, along with you and Bucky. “Buck, Y/N, are you guys ok?” Steve asks helping you both off the floor. “Yea, thanks Steve. How did you know where we were? The comms were down,” you ask.

“When I didn’t hear from you I came in to make sure, then I saw water over here and noticed the wall looked weird. I heard Bucky trying to punch out. Looks like it was a trap,” he says. You give him a smile and pat on the shoulder, “Thanks, you’re a life saver,” you say. You look at Bucky and give him a small smile, “You too, Buck. Thanks,” you say before walking away.

Steve looks at Bucky, who watches you leave the building. “What happened in there?” Steve asked. Bucky looked at him, “Nothing. She thought she was going to die and felt like apologizing for stuff. I’m sure it was just in the heat of the moment,” Bucky says before heading back.

--

The ride back to the command center was quiet. Everyone knew you were brooding over the whole situation, and it was better to leave you alone when that happened. When you got back you jumped out of the truck in time to see Melissa screaming for Bucky and running into his arms.

“Bucky! What happened to you?” she said as tears fell from her eyes. Bucky hugs her, “It’s ok sweetheart, we were perfectly safe. Are you alright?” he asks. She nods and leans up to kiss him. It was a passionate kiss, filled with worry and love. You can’t help but turn away and walk back over to the plans. A stray tear escapes your eye, but you are quick to wipe it away before anyone sees.

Bucky walks over to you, with Melissa wrapped around his arm. “No need to stay Sergeant Barnes. You’ve fulfilled your promise. No one can say anything about you,” you say emotionless. Bucky furrows his brow, “I told you I would stay the day, not 1 bad mission,” he says. You look at him and makes sure you face is completely void of emotion and your eyes cold, “Whatever you wish to do. Just saying you can get out of this if you want,” you say before grabbing a file and walking away.

Bucky watched you leave, and hated that he felt concerned. Why does he still care what is going on with you? Oh yea... because no matter how many times he lies to himself, he still loves you. But he loves Melissa, and maybe he should leave and make sure Melissa is safe. He barely has time to make a decision when a bomb goes off right in the area you just walked to.

Bucky looks at Melissa, “Baby, stay here. Don’t move unless me or one of the other Avengers tell you to, you hear me?” he asks. Melissa, whose eyes are huge just nods, not trusting her voice. Bucky turns and runs in that direction. He needs to see you. He needs to know if you’re ok. As he runs into the crowd of agents, he sees you running away from him and the crowd.

“Y/N!” he yells before another explosion goes off, again right in the area he saw you run. 

--

Chapter 3 / Chapter 5

Oh man, let the fun begin! Feedback is appreciated.

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#bucky angst #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #james bucky barnes #james barnes #bucky x y/n #bucky x reader

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

so this morning, while scrolling through my fb feed, i came across an nyt opinion/advice piece from a 27yo (ie basically me lmao) who is obviously lucky, in a sense, to finally land their “dream job using my (their) skills” etc. like obvs i can’t read it bc of the stupid “you get one free article a month if you either don’t have an account or subscription” (my one free article was used up reading an article about adult adhd like last week)….. thing that nyt does.

but anyway. back on topic lol. the crux of the article in both the headline and the quote snippet was that the advice asker was really dissatisfied with the 40 hour work week that came with her “dream job”. with how having this 40hr workweek gave her no time to do her busy chores like house cleaning or laundry or didn’t even give her time to let her have her hobbies/creative pursuits (whatever they were/are).

however, in the comments on the article (and apparently from those who read the article on the comments, the advice/opinion column writer) a good bunch of like gen Xer’s and baby boomers (im assuming) were ganging up on the asker like “suck it up princess, it’s what life is!!! i work 70+ hours a week and LOVE IT and have just resigned myself to the fact that i have NO time left over to do my “chores”! learn to O U T S O U R C E these life admin tasks to someone else!!! everyone MUST LEARN this in america!!! it makes life so much easier ☺️” and such.

of course, there were plenty of the same bs comments that you see on anything about careers or home ownership towards millennials/gen Z’ers about “learn to go WITHOUT and save save save and squander your time so that you NEVER live and HAVE FUN or TIME FOR HOBBIES! my bet is that your parents did that and they survived just fine while also raising your ungrateful spiteful ass (not including any type of health issues they might have picked up from such long hours/shitty working conditions) so why can’t you just L E A R N to do the same you precious spoilt brat!!! because the reality of Real Life™️ is that you can’t have it both ways!!! then you’ll have early retirement guaranteed, hopefully!!! and know that hobbies really are time wasters most of the time ☺️ or at least they were for me!!! and your precious so-called “creative pursuits” most definitely are time wasters. no one needs THOSE.” and so on so forth.

they also had jibes for her bc the asker wanted to start a family at some point apparently… and apparently it’s “much worse” once you have kids. like. thanks geraldine and henry. you’ve just told us how much you’ve resented having your kids/family in one fell swoop. your opinion which you’ve framed as unhelpful, condescending advice is now voided.

like. i don’t know how rhonda or paul or deandra or philip could miss the point so fucking entirely. why the fuck should anyone- nay everyone (bc that’s what they make it sound like)- learn to outsource their busy chores like laundry/house cleaning/grocery shopping or god knows what else- to someone else???? why is that apparently a standard expected to be learnt in the US???

like why the fuck are you so desperate for people not to have free time to do these things (unless of course they live in some of those shitty nyc or other big city apartment blocks that don’t come with individual private laundries in the self-contained flats or a communal laundry on like the bottom floor or w/e for example) frank????

deidre why the hell are you so bitterly hankering about “be grateful that you have it easier than most and learn that hobbies mean jackshit and just sell your soul and time to your boss!!! when will the generation stopping being “me me me!!!” and “work life balance!” and think about the company’s bottom line!! learn that “work life balance” is never important! work like a slave for 50 years and see if your valuable experience is needed then! that’s when you’ll learn that those hours where you were never being lazy, instead of just expecting life to be handed to you, will have paid off!” or whatever other ridiculously toxic capitalist bullshit they were spitting out.

obviously there were FAR MORE people actually supporting the question asker and echoing the idea that the 40hr workweek is now redundant. they were also putting down the opinion/advice piece writer’s advice to the asker….. that was apparently similar to the all the bitter people on the comments saying that the 27yo was just “asking for too much” and had to “learn to suck it up instead of being a petulant and overly selfish dick!!” etc etc etc. we all know the spiel as thoroughly as the macarena now.

because whats so fucking wrong with wanting time to yourself and wanting time to do your busy chores??? why the fuck should i be outsourcing these to other people (unless of course you’re still living at home and your parents are still like “hey what clothes do you need washed i’m doing a load rn” or you have a partner that works from home or has some type of parental leave etc)???? i want to do my own laundry. i want to do my own gardening (ok lawn mowing or tree lopping (if needed) i’d actually outsource bc i can’t lift or push lawn mowers bc they’re heavy af for me or and i obvs can’t use a chainsaw)… but i want to do my own grocery shopping. i want to do my own cooking (although i would consider the meal kit services once i had job that allowed me to afford like $50 a month for one of those meal kits sub services) i want to do my own cleaning.

why, if i lived in the US and not australia, am i just expected to learn to outsource all of these tasks even if i don’t have the money for it??? like why the actual fuck are so many of you so fucking weirdly proud of being absolutely worked into the fucking ground for your “great country” (although this is actually bleeding through to australia too and i hate it); working like literally close to 100 hours a week???

because i wasn’t aware you had to be whatever the fuck his name is from 127 hours and cut your fucking limbs off just to fucking survive a job in either corporate america or just let alone any goddamned job in america….. all so they can supposedly “learn to like working for free and devaluing your worth even more to your employer through overworking yourself and always being available!!! mental health is for those who aren’t built for the Real Adult World™️!!! this person is a prime example of the younger generations being weak and dissatisfied with life so often because of their “oh poor little me!!! care for me!!” act. NO ONE CARES FOR YOU today. stop being so over-expectant/demanding and juvenile!!! only YOU care yourself and you should NEVER expect someone else to pick you up from YOUR bootstraps!!! you’re fucking whiny and conceited babies. the lot of you!!!”

because i honestly don’t know who the fuck would enjoy working 70+ hours week with no time to themselves to do what they enjoy doing…. or enjoy having zilch time to catch up on errands and life admin duties or just general house chores; especially if you’ve moved cities or an entire fucking state/s away from your family and support network. let alone doing the same thing on 40 hours a week.

and on top of everything, let’s not even get started on the time spent commuting to and from work or even commuting for life errands/tasks etc etc- especially if you’re like me and you’re nowhere near the capital city’s centre (ie sydney australia for me) for there to be reliable enough public transport and longer commute times to certain places in those cities (that i’ve bitched about plenty before on other posts on here about work/jobs).

get your head out of your asses warren and viola et al and realise that work life balance is literally NOT ASKING FOR MUCH and is asking employers to just have basic respect for their employees time if they work fulltime. it’s literally detrimental to ones health if they have to sacrifice what feels like (or what is literally like) their entire fucking existence to their employer just for meagre pay and just to fucking survive.

because i read a heart-breaking article last night from huffpost (posted by buzzfeed on fb) about a woman in the US who literally hid her having a second baby from her employer for an entire fucking year (literally the entire pregnancy and birth of the baby and the first 6 months post pushing the baby out) during the pandemic all because she was scared she would get demoted or lose her leading of a project and lose her bs “temp” job which had really turned into full time work although the employer never said anything about it being actually full time hours or whatever…. and plus the lady herself was apparently to scared to ask to be put on the books fulltime too for some weird reason.

like honestly. fuck capitalism. fuck thinking that “work life balance is just too hard for employers to add and regulate. it’s an excuse and ploy for workers to be unprofessional, unproductive and lazy!” or whatever the fuck. everyone deserves time to themselves to pursue their interests/hobbies and busy chores/life admin. no one deserves to waste their entire life working 70+ work weeks for those employers who literally have no respect for their employees personal lives and time.

and particularly during the time that is the pandemic as we’ve seen so many companies having to learn to wholeheartedly embrace working from home and more flexible schedules for their workers. worklife balance is absolutely fucking beneficial for everyone involved.

america fix your bullshit work ethic right now lmao.

#life #about me #shut up ilona #ilona’s job hunting thoughts and woes lmao

[dangan-happy]

Beep boop, I’m stuck on the chicken coop

[ Is extreme loneliness a tw ? I’m kind of vulgar sometimes too sorry] i’m she/her, you may call me Evelyn.

To Rantaro Amami & Nagito Komaeda.

I’m writing it on the spot so maybe what I will say won’t make sense sometimes but to get into it  I just feel emptiness and loneliness since maybe i’m 12 and i will turn 18 in few days. Ikr it’s pathetic. It’s not like i don’t have friends or don’t know how to make ones, I even find surprising the number of peoples that want to befriend me without i do anything but I definitely can’t keep them in the long run and I’m tired of this shit.

all i know is destroying and bring chaos, i can’t take care of my relationship and myself properly by giving love and affection the way it’s supposed to be because of the dumb tsundere i am, my trust issues and how i’ve been educated. I constantly feel like my heart is sick as one of my friends text me, I feel like whatever i may say is trash cuz i have interest nobody cares and  im a weirdo and my life is weird as well and because of that I can’t even text back like a brat even for people i know really cares of me and push always further when i will respond to them and spoiler alert i never do. And it sucks even more cuz im mostly supposed to be that big sis friend. My trust issues does that i can’t totally open up to people anymore, i don’t want to be seen as weak, i don’t want to be a burden and they probably won’t understand or know what to do about me anyway. I rather ear others peoples problems, supress my feelings and put that clown mask i own so no one really know how i feel. Joke is that people usually think i’m someone accomplished, carefree and confident in myself. Knowing that just fill me with despair and make me think that maybe i will always be alone in this world. I keep pushing peoples away, i don’t know how to cop with my feelings, i’m hard to decrypt and i over analyze things, it’s settled if i don’t change. 

But this is also a piece of me and that loneliness did bring good things in my life that i don’t want to loose, i may be all by myself but I’ve never feel more generous and selfless to counterbalance that bad luck. i´ve been acoustumed to it, i’ve started to use that loneliness to concentrate on the things where i am successful, so making money, school and arts... and focus on things that makes me forget the pain, mangas, traveling, food...and all my 11037 others hobbies. 

The idea is that i explore everything the world had to offer for someone like me. That rather being loved and cherish i should act for all theses peoples burdened by theses relationship for the world, for the future, for the truth via everything i think is fine to have an impact on this earth.  But in the end I just can’t deal with that loneliness, i’ve realized that i’m the definition of touch starved and everything that does mean having little to no contact with others humans being that can exist. In the end all the hope i gather just fade. 

Thanks for reading me rambling.

Hey Evelyn, I dunno, I don't think that extreme loneliness is a tw kind of thing, but you never know. Hey, you don't have to apologize for being vulgar. We don't exactly have writing requirements for asks, that would just be kinda weird. Again, it's ok, I usually answer asks on the spot because that's when I have most of my ideas flowing. Don't worry, I think I'll be able to get the picture. Do you mean 17 instead of 12? I'm just gonna assume that's a typo. Alright, it's not pathetic. Any pain or issues you experience are not pathetic, ever. If it's causing you stress or pain, then it's not pathetic, it's a valid, legit thing that's going on in your life. I'm honestly glad to hear that you don't have any problems in the socializing/making friends department. So it's sounding like you're getting overwhelmed by the amount of people in your life, and that's completely understandable. I'm a major people pleaser, so I spend way too much of my time and energy trying to cater to way too many people at a time. Is this similar to what you're feeling? Either way, it's ok for you to keep people at a distance. You aren't obligated to get to know them if it's too much for you. Everyone has their limits, and that's ok. Do what's healthiest for you, just be nice if you're talking to them, and know that it doesn't have to go further than that.

Don't beat yourself down for not showing or giving affection in the "right" way. I'm seeing this more and more nowadays, everyone isn't always equipped to handle things the "right" way, and that's not your fault. You can't help how you were educated, that's out of your control. Trust issues are a serious thing, and you're not expected to just get over them. Yeah, it's possible for you to work on them, so I would try working with that a little. Be gentle and take it slow, you can move at your own pace. Don't call yourself dumb either, you're not. There's nothing wrong with being a tsundere, I mean unless you're actually attacking people you're interested in. That right there might be crossing a line, but other than that, I think you're fine.

Ok, it's ok if you don't feel like texting people back, that doesn't have to do with you being a bad person, you're not feeling it and that's ok. "Being left on read" has so many negative connotations with it, but in a lot of cases the person just doesn't have the social or emotional energy to answer. I'd try to answer eventually when you feel up to it, at least within a span of a day at the most, but if you're not feeling it in the moment, that's totally ok. Even if your friends aren't into the same interests you are, you aren't weird. I can understand feeling out of place, but I promise you you and your interests aren't weird. Your friends care about you even if they aren't into the same things you are. I recommend looking online for communities who are into the same things you are to fill that void if you want to, just be safe because the internet is a hellhole. Man anon, this next part sounds just like me. I do the same thing, play the big brother role, I don't open up, I don't wanna be a burden, I don't wanna be seen as weak, I'd rather ear other people's problems and the like. Hell, I've adopted like 20 different internet siblings. I wouldn't say I'm a clown, (hopefully) but I do get the mask thing. It's ok if you don't want to open up, no one's making you. If you feel comfortable doing so, then great! And if not, that's ok too. It's amazing that you're a person who's there to take care of others, but it's ok to worry about yourself too. It sounds ridiculous coming from me, I'm really not practicing what I preach, but if you need to worry about yourself over someone else, that's ok. It's also ok if you don't know how you're feeling.

Emotions are a train wreck, and everyone's trying to figure out what the hell's going on at one time or another. As strange as it sounds, it's a good thing that you're aware of the problems you have. Honestly you're right, it's settled if some of these changes don't happen, but you do have time to change things. It doesn't matter how much time has passed or how old you are, you still have time to work on things. It doesn't matter when you start, it matters that you start. Yeah, being alone isn't always a bad thing, I can totally agree on that. I'm glad you've found success in so many other places, that's amazing and I'm real proud of you. I'm really glad there's some silver lining for you, and you're clearly using it well. I think that it's important to know how to function on your own as well as with people, so you're halfway there in the grand scheme of things! Your idea of exploring the world is noble, I'll give you that, but you deserve to be loved and cherished just like everyone else in the  world. It's seriously ok to worry about yourself, it's not selfish and you do deserve it. It's ok, people aren't meant to be alone 24/7, what you're feeling is natural. You're right, you can gather all the hope in the world, but if you don't do anything for yourself, you will fade away. Sorry if that came out a little harsh, but I think you're right on that. Again, you seem super self aware about these kinds of things, and that's real good. You know what needs to happen to make changes, and while I wish I could be the one to guide you through that, I can't. This is stereotypical, but I think you should consider talking to a professional. They would be able to give you a little more guidance and the right support you need, and while it might be uncomfortable to think about, I really think it'll benefit you in the long run, if that makes sense.

Evelyn, you're really not a terrible person. You deserve so much, and I know you don't see that right now, but I'm hoping that some day you will. You're a great person who just needs to learn to extend the same amount of kindness you do to others to yourself. This response is long as hell, and I hope I was able to keep it making sense. It's totally ok if you were rambling, I think I am too. Again, I really hope that this was able to help you out. If you need anything else, feel free to send in another ask ok? You got this, I know it feels impossible and hopeless, but it's not. I know you can do this, all you gotta do now is convince yourself that you can.

#danganronpa #danganronpa roleplay blog #ask #rantaro amami #mod rantaro

[cupcakecait17]

The saga of a 32 year old woman seemingly perpetually stuck in a loophole of uncertainty and mental breakdowns.  I Don’t Know What I’m Doing Here : Part One

I think the hardest thing about writing is the beginning. I remember in college hating writing essays. You’re introduction and 3 body paragraphs and a conclusion, pretty much making me say the same thing 3 different times in slightly different ways... and we wonder why women have a hard time communicating. Just try to listen to us the first time cause we get lost ourselves ok? So for this first installment on the “dromedy” ( drama & comedy ... did I do that right? fork it ) that is my life I will NOT be following a essay format but probably more of a ramble of the basics of my life. Cant throw you right into the wolves den of the present day, nay nay. First lets establish some rapport with the characters of this epic saga. Hopefully this can shed a small fraction of light into who I actually am so you can understand how I survived and ended up where I am. Strap in bitches, this aint The Magic School Bus! ( I will not object to Ms. Frizzle taking over the bus driving responsibilities if anyone has her contact info help a girl out. )

December 6th 1988. Twas a Tuesday in Nashua NH. I dont think it was snowing, I dont remember. Everything was as planned as it could be. A slender yet very pregnant  32 year old woman climbs into a car and waves at her dad as they drive down the street, him filming the entire ordeal from the second she woke up until much much later in the day when everyone was overjoyed and exhausted. She gets to the labor and delivery department at Nashua Memorial ready for the epidural and C-section she knew was coming because her baby was flipped around and making things complicate. Even before that small person took its first breath of worldly air, it was already showing its defiance at doing things the “right way”. The room was all ready to go and the doctor was too. At 1:11pm she gave birth to what everyone believed was going to be a happy healthy perfect little boy, but nay nay. While the doctor shouted to the hazey doped up woman “We have a boy!!” his wife who was a nurse immediately chimed in “NOPE! It’s a girl!!”. And to everyone surprise, I was born. My mom had picked out the name Jackson for me since literally everyone thought she was having a boy. Back in the 80s you didn't do ultrasounds at the obgyn unless they believed something was wrong. So there was no gender reveal until the child reviled it. Took my mother DAYS to figure out my name. Once she finally did, I think 6 or 7 other Caitlins were born in that hospital that same week. Never met a one of em. 

So here I am, all fresh to the world. I don't know the joys or heartaches that I'm about to face, no one does. All they can think about is how amazing I am in that moment. And Im sure I was. I know that feeling of love. That feeling of wanting them to have the best, everything you didn't but in all the best ways, and protect them from the things you have had that you know one day they will have to face too. Here’s the thing about the human condition, we are selfish even in ways we dont see and aren't meant to harm anyone. We want to bring a child into this state of being not knowing what that child might have to deal with once they accept they are someone on this earth that will have to create their world for themselves one day. Its not the parents fault, nor the childs. There are countless numbers of people who feel as if they simply hadn't been born, certain suffering would never have happened, and that it can be next to impossible to find a light in that void, no matter how much they want it or how hard they try. That fresh, new face will only last for so long. Those gray blind eyes will soon heighten their pigment and clarity to the comings and goings that happen around them. The feeling of safety and security in who you are because you have your parents to guide you becomes fleeting once you start to discover who you REALLY are. Some enjoy the process, some do not. Some need help while others do the helping. Everyone's path is unique and solely their own. Just because it works for you don't mean it would work for him, or her, or your doggo, whatever. And that's ok.

And then there’s some of us, like me, who is a giant proverbial moose who doesn't know how to walk yet none the less stand up straight, looking at life through what feels like a fisheye lens, with a broken mute button to the annoying cunt in your head who’s either lying to you or is 100000% correct and you refuse to listen, all while sitting alone in our rooms saying to ourselves -

I don't know what I'm doing here.

**i want to say this before i go - this is not for you, its for me. at times it will sound selfish and like im whining and i probably am, and thats ok. i need this outlet. throughout this im hoping to discover and see things in myself i can work on and things i should be prouder of, this is not a pity party. and even if it was, who gives a hoot.. i dont expect anyone to stumble across this but if you dont and you having the compelling urge to say something to me, in any negative way, please dont. words are the most powerful thing we have as humans. it can tear things down to nothing or it can build and create something beautiful. please just be kind to one another, the worlds kinda shitty right now**

#mental health #alone #life #i dont know what im doing here

[thanatos-nightshade]

Im going to write masayou soulmate aus and no one can stop me but at the same time im not the best writer so maybe ill just toss my ideas out here for now. Void write this down because im gonna have to come back to these.

This is a long post im sorry

First au will be the colorblind one where you see color once you make eye contact with your soulmate for the first time. However, platonic soulmates exist thus causing more confusion. One thing that helps is that the effect romantic soulmates have is much stronger while platonic soulmates tend to just help with vibrancy or seeing some colors. (Im just winging it here because honestly masahinashiyou are def soulmates).

Anyways, this is how its gonna go: youji and masaomi meet in the usual i saved your life way we're stuck together except both can see colors pretty darn well now. For youji it was kinda a brief explosion of color followed by dimming except for the colors red, gold, and purple. Its similar for masaomi except the vibrancy is slower to come for him but it starts with blues and metallics. Masaomi naturally has to keep this under wraps because he needs to know who exactly this guy is and what type of person he is and he also doesnt believe himself to be a romantic of any sort. Is he capable of being romantic yes of course but will he ever do anything like that now? Not unless the person had earned his respect and seemed worthy.

Oh no this could be a multi chaptered thing

Anyways this sort of goes along with his slow burn sort of thing whereas youji is kind of just that type of person to help out masaomi without needing proof to accept that masaomi is an important person in his life (the cult really watered down the whole soulmate thing because theyre homophobes so its just "important person in your life" for them). The colors also represent his "oh no hes attractive" side of youji who secretly has it pretty damn bad for masaomi.

They both stick with each other because they both recognize that theyre going to be important to each other (though currently only masaomi has an inkling as to how important they are/will be to each other since his vision is not terrible and that brief explosion of colors was no mistake, he simply isnt/wasnt ready to trust youji fully and also the universe was giving him a challenge and a choice which he will not back down from thank you very much) and youji wont realize what the colors and vibrancy mean until he meets hinami and shiori who are more than welcome to discuss those with him.

What happens when shiori and hinami meet them? For shiori and hinami, the world becomes more focused when theyre by each other and small details and colors pop out more. This is especially true for hinamis side since shiori brings clearer perspectives and other points of views to the table. For shioris side hinami brings out the brighter lighter and softer colors of the world that one might miss. Masaomi brings out the bolder colors and youji stabilizes the "image" and brings both color types into balance. For youji hinami brings all the colors into focus and its breath taking but also for the most part the colors were already there. However light seems to hit everything he sees now and wow you mean light causes different shades of things? Shiori doesnt seem to change much but he does notice that certain colors look more saturated or that he can see certain textures now and differentiate between certain shades. Especially in the blues, purples, and greens, hinami works mostly with the warmer colors. For masaomi he hinami doesnt change much for him although he does realize how he remembers the details of people and earthy tones more easily after meeting her. Shiori balances out the saturation and brings forth the colors that refused to come out before or simply just needed a push to come forward. Of course shiori also comes with pushes towards youji.

Oh goodness this is so long. All this detail is unnecessary but its here. It ends with them all agreeing to OT4 after hinami and shiori wrestle feeling talk and misunderstandings out of masaomi and youji. Youji totally thinks masaomi is an unrequited/not reciprocated love after all and/or JUST FRIENDS. But really masaomi is like "of course im going to be with youji forever thats been decided since i was 18. And shiori will be there too but she was a more recent addition to my life. I guess hinami can come too" but hes just been quietly planning this and thought that everyone else was on his level and knew already. And it ends happily ever after (except eventually shiori and hinami die and masaomi and youji drift apart but then they come back and kasamatsu comes across pictures of all of them and asks about what happened and does some snooping and finds out his dad and masaomi were soulmates and has to work with kise to get them together again but kise mostly just wants to do it so he can get more alone time with senpai but then akashi interrupts and furihata is a romantic and is all for it and also cites the manga a lot for help and youji is embarassed because his son is insisting and pulls out the "this is what mom would want" card and they talk about hinami and shioris deaths and what that means for them and their feelings and masaomi FINALLY admits to how he didnt like living without youji and youji admits that he wished masaomi was around for more of his familys life even tho masaomi cringes because babies and kids but does admit that had masaomi been around they would probably be much greater than they are now NOT THAT THEYRE BAD OR ANYTHING JUST LIKE OK HE'LL SHUT UP NOW but that youji could somehow make kids look appealing. In a sense. AND THEN it finally ends happily ever after omg.

#t-n talks #masayou #d:m #writing #soulmate au #long post

[lost-incident-kid]

Happy Birthday Miyu Sugisaki (for tommorow) might do some art for her idk

———

Edit: ah heck! Ive had this queued for months, but i forgot to actually do the art haha, i’ll get something done overnight so it might be rushed and look like trash, it might look reasonably ok. Who knows at this point. I dont trust the sleepy version of myself to create anything good but hey, theyv created some stuff that wasn’t horrifying before :/

Ok, starting here i legit just start live-blogging myself staying up alnight drawing. Ignore me. I didnt know where else to say it. I’ll delete it later.

Edit 2: this isnt gonna be done. Like frick, i just spent 6 hours on miyu’s fricking hairstyle, thats all done and even shaded and looking fabulous but ive only got a rough lineart for litterally everything else. This might not be done, but if it is then her hair is gonna be a fuckign masterpiece (i hope). Im writing this edit at 1:42am, and im gonna go to bed somewhere between 4 and 5, lets go! Hell yeah! I might do this! Perhaps! Im gonna try! 3-4 sprint time! Yeah!

Edit 3: frick, im failing to do this, miserably. Its 3:03am and i got distracted playing mobile games and didn’t get anything done. My existence is futile, existentially im a waste and I should not exist. The atoms within me deserve to be part of something better. Sorry. I’m a f*ck up and unless I get my sh*t together in the next like 5 mins (unlikely) then this aint gonna be finished.

Edit 4: ok, meltdown like 20% over. Its 3:52am, I think the issue then was the face. Faces r hard bruh, they suck do draw. They a festive lil ho ho ho. I was drawing everything too high up on the face cuz my dumb *ss forgot to draw the line thingys on the face or even look at a reference image for proportions. Ive done it now amd life is now a bit more on track. Might get this done if I continue work in the morning.

Edit 4.5: nothin much (hence the .5), its 4:14am, just downed 4 cups o tea for caffeine and sugar (all the coffee we got is decaf lol). I’m gonna get this sh*t done! Ive litterally only coloured down to the face, neck and the hair but still.... I’m gonna get it done anyway! I dont care about going to bed between 4-5 anymore! I’m getting this done!

Edit 5: its less than ten mins later (4:22am) and im taking a quick 20m break to watch youtube while I wait for the caffeine to kick in because im too braindead to continue right now. Like what art style am i even trying? Idk... its really fricking complex tho. Lowkey pretty tho, like if i finish this im gonna be so proud of it like it looks great. But its taking forever and im need break.

Edit 6: ok we back. Its 4:41am, caffeine has not really kicked in but i cant permit myself any more time anyway. Back to drawning.

Edit 7: holy frick, new episode of the vrains dub came out. Man... im leaving vrains fanart to watch the vrains dub. Am I obsessed? Is this hyperfixation? Probably? Either way, its 4:50am and im going to go watch the new episode. I’ll come back to this when im done.

Edit 8: HOLY FRICK GUYS! THE DRAWING APP IM USING KEEPS CRASHING AND SAYS ITS STILL THERE BUT WONT LET ME CONTINUE AND KICKING ME OFF THE APP?!?! ITS 5:06AM AND THE PANIC ATTAC IS BACC! The new episode of the dub isnt completely out yet, im watching that version on yt where its just smol clips of it. Not all the clips r up yet. I was just going on it while waiting for the next clips to go up and thats when the app did the thing and life got 280% sucky-er.

Edit: 8.5 wahoot it stopped kicking me off the app and it let me continue. Its 5:12am and we are FINALLY continuing.

Edit 9: its 5:36 Im tired sleep time I’ll finis thos in the morning goodbye yall have a greatt day

Edit 10: ok, so im a failure. We live in the timeline that god abandoned. I cannot sleep. I shall get more cups of tea, watch yt until the caffeine actually kicks in, and then continue. Its 6:03 right now, I shall be back. Perhaps half an hour?

Edit 10.5: its 6:11am. Not much has happened, just a slight change of plans. Ik its irrelevant but im liveblogging so i gotta say, my eye hurts so im gonna stop looking at screens. Perhaps gonna try to sleep again, if not then i’ll put read a book, redo my makeup (it smudgey) or straight up just listen to music and stare into the void. Litterally anything other than look at my laptop/phone. Peace out homies, i’ll be back at some point before 7 probably (unless i do go to sleep).

Edit 11: Its 6:41am, my eye hurts. Ive been staring into the darkness and listening to various fallout boy songs. Now i feel edgy. Its been half an hour, so im gonna continue drawing. Caffeine and sugar has worn off again so im tired and unmotivated but yno what, it is what it is. Aint life nifty, i gotta get this done.

Edit 12: 6:52 everything burns im in pain my eye is on frickign fire and it looks bloodshot but now also weird azz headache that i never got one like this before so im gonna turn off all lights cuz that seems to make it marginally better am i dying probably idk either way im not gonna continue for multiple hours it is stare into the void time and stare into the void time alone ok this should be the last update

Edit 13: It is 3:16pm, didn’t continue liveblogging cuz i got one heck of a migrane. Im back and well... Happy birthday Miyu for today! I’m still gonna try to get this god forsaken art done, but holy shit what is that art style i did. Its genuinely nothing like anything ive done before, I don’t remember doing any of the colouring but apparently I did and it looks better than anything ive done before and idk if non-fricked up me can replicate it. I’m starting to wonder if i got bored and just copied it or something, like idk how i did it. Look at it

The grey is the lineart I remember doing but man tHE FRICKIGN HAIR like i couldnt have created that, could I? I can see why it was taking so long yesterday like holy shit man that stuff takes time yno

#long post

[lexiy-dreyar]

missing friends

{{little side story for you all ok?

{im too tried to say who’s OC's belong to who ima just do the tags imto sleepy

@auntiesakamaki

@animeislife54

@decoffinatedcoffee

@wee-devil-town

@thewhitelotusdemon

@chimmerly

@vantalizing

@nerieda

{{i think that's everyone?

((edit i redrew everything

The blonde layed there, bruised and broken, beaten to a pulp, watching the culprit getaway, holding her sister, and her child, both badly injured bleeding, the other blonde sister had taken a big blow to the head cracking it open, shattered bones in the arm's, with cut-up legs, she could only imagine her pain was less than hers, her dull eyes shifted to her child, being carried over the shoulder, blood dripping out of her mouth, shaking out of shock and pain.

 She couldn't take seeing them both hurt, she tried to get up but could barely move her arms to lift her body off the ground a bit, her arm covered in cuts shooting with pain, her legs shattered, slowly going numb. Lex blinked away the tears of pain, pushing herself to move her arms and legs, she refused to give up and lose,  the two she cared about the most, trying to ignore the pain, with a scratchy voice she called out to the captive, "put them down...and..come and fight me…" she growled still struggling to get on her feet "I may be buried but I'm not beaten!!"

 She shouts soon coughing her lungs out "tch d-dammit" she groaned in pain "you look like your done..I'm not wasting my power on you.." the said turning to look at her "heh...you scared that I'm gonna kick your ass!" She smirked, trying to egg them on so they drop her loved ones "hmmm how about I end this" they said letting star go raising his arm aiming his attack at the struggling blonde "and here I thought you were supposed to be strong, with the power of a guardian angel running through you, as well as the power of a dragon.. pathetic." They smile darkly as they launch their attack at her. 

She didn't have a chance to move, the attack hit her head on, 

amplifying the pain tenfold, causing her to scream out in pain, knocking her out as she hits a tree, "maybe if you tried harder you would have had a chance" was the last words she heard. 

As she slowly opened her eyes she was blinded by bright lights "huh...Where am I?" She mumbled trying to sit up, she felt a burst of pain from her arms, and they felt Heavy, she looked at her arms noticing there in casts, she looked at them confused before looking around the room " what the...where am I..a hospital??" She asked herself, there was a knocking on her door, she turned her head to the door as it slowly opened to see one of her friends peaking "hey she's up"

 Pandora said opening the door more as her friends enter the room "glad to see your up" Sayaka said bluntly "yeah you gave us a pretty bad scare" Tenshi said softly placing a plate on her nightstand,

 "Sorry about that…" lex mumbles, "how did I get here?" She asked looking at her friends "nkita managed to call me and the paramedics by the time we got there, you nkita and void were about to be picked up by them" Julianna answers her question

 "about that do you know where star and amaniz are? We tried calling the-" Pandora stopped halfway through her sentence when she noticed lex's shocked expression "they really got them.." lex mumbles trying not to cry "about that care to explain why you went to go fight when you were still recovering from you last job" azale asks her "I had to.. they were hurt...I had a bad feeling if I didn't" she sighed trying to move her legs, but felt they were in the cast too "what about nkita and void how are they?!" Lex asked panicked" were not sure yet we checked up on them yesterday but they were knocked out, " Devon said.

"Lex...I think you should tell us what happened" azale pointed out "or at least tell us what the attacker looked like" Constance chimed in "I….I" lex tried to tell them but her memory was hazy. All she got were little flashes of what happened.

 Her breath got shakey, as she remembers how much she messed up, using a big attack out of lack of judgment, trying to let amaniz and star run to safety. Letting herself go trying to learn the attackers' magic, and how they fight, but she failed to pay attention, worrying too much about her family, leaving herself wide open, letting them get a good shot near her chest. Slowly mumbling to herself about how stupid she is unable to protect her sister and child as her eyes slowly turned back to normal, losing their dullness as her eye’s filled with tears “they were right there...and I couldn't do anything...I'm pathetic"

she cried "...then let's go get em," Cole said walking to the blonde's bed "huh…" "let's go get them back..once your Heald up we'll go looking for them" Cole answered "what! No way if the guy managed to fuck up lex nkita and void that bad there's no way we could stand a chance" Cherry shouted, "Well your wrong if all of us go together we can get them back!!" Obara shouted at her "hey now let's not fight..we should be careful though it might have been the same person who tried to kidnap Azusa,..and-" Sayaka was interrupted by a knock at the door "Sorry for interrupting but I need to talk alone with lexiy" a doctor said ".....alright let's go check on the others"Lizzy patted Devon's shoulder "good idea get better soon lex" Tenshi waved as the left the room.

{Mini time skip}

You should be able to move your arms and legs a bit now but I have to advise you to not use your Maley attack's for a few months so that the tissue heals...and about your lacrima heart we replaced it with a stronger one it should last you 5 years or so." The doctor said wrapping up her leg 

 "also you need to take it easy..your body is still recovering from the shock your lucky your friend gem was able to recover the badly damaged parts..you can be disregarded in a few days...but if you lose feeling in your legs take one of these" he hands her a few bottles of pills "lose feeling in my legs??" She asked "yes your leg bones were shared to pieces with a lot of internal bleeding your Nevers weren't connected either I'm surprised you manage to push through the pain" the doctor said in shock standing up "you should rest we'll call in gem to come and heal you some more..who knows if your lucky you can be discharged in two days" he said leaving. Lex looked down swinging her legs a bit "there's that bad feeling again..I need to go make sure everything is o-" she couldn't finish her sentence after being whacked with a massive amount of pain-causing her to pass out...

____________

Everyone got home to a surprise that night. “Julianna looked around the mansion in shock “what happened here,” she said in shock the mansion was a mess there were blood patches everywhere. Shu sniffed around “that's Viktor and Elias blood I smell” he sai quitely “what!” devon shouted quickly rushing to his sister's room noticing the doors broken “Elisa?” he looked in her room seeing scratch marks and bloodstains, his breathing became uneven. It soon hit him she was taken. Julianna looked around noticing there was a big blood puddle “it isn't like Viktor to up and leave like that...unless he was taken too” she said in disbelief “where’s azusa..” ruki said “kanato’s missing too” laito added “was it the same person who took star and amaniz” reiji question as the front door slammed open “WHERES ANYA!!” Subaru shouted in a panicked state with Tenshi following right after him

 “huh, you couldn't find her either huh,” ayato said “not to mention valla and athenia are missing too,” Tenshi said trying to calm her breathing. “We should head out to the others and make sure their saf-” glasses didn't even get a chance to speak when pandora kicked the front door open “WHERES GREMLY AND TCUP!!” 

she screamed with furfur right behind her “them too huh?” cole said walking through the busted up doors with Elina right behind him "manu and soon-bok went missing too" Elina sighed "so someone's targeting all of us" Simon said causing most of them to jump from his random appearance "so who do we know who could be doing this?" Lys asked

"I say chara.. she's the only one of us that can beat any of us easy without dying.." Devon mumbled in a rotten mood "who the hell is Chara" Pandora asked "I'll explain on our way back to the hospital" Devon's said walking out the door, with the others slowly following behind him.

[JFC YALL HAVE TO MANY OCS 

#wee-devil-three #nerida #oc's of friends #too many things to fucking tagg #animeislife54 #auntiesakamaki #god to many things too tagg #btw the art got sloppy cuz my thing kept crashing so i just gave up #GOOD THIS TOOK TOO LONG AND ITS ONLY PART ONE JFC

[chaniters]

Crisis Control

The second part of the new series with @kruk-art‘s Awan!

 Anathema visits Awan! 

Spoilers ahead!

______________________________

The tweezers slide off your hand at the last moment, and you can smell the burnt electronics as the device dies once more.

“Shit!” you say slamming your fist against the wall.

It’s your third attempt, and it ended up just like the first two. The scrambler you’re working on should throw Void’s targeting systems off if you ever get it to work. That could give you an edge, you’re tired of his perfect aim...

“Mrreeewww” Pidgeon says rubbing against you.

You pet him absently, instantly feeling a bit calmer… the simplicity of his mind is soothing. It’s very complex work, and you’re not a specialist, but you’ll get it working, doesn’t matter if it takes one or twenty attempts.

You can do this…

“Hungry Pidgeon? Let’s get you some food… and then we’re going to work the hell out of this thing”

After attempt number seven, it finally works, and you fall on the bed exhausted, Pidgeon climbing over your arm and falling asleep, with you soon following. 

_______several hours later__________

“Let me out! I don’t like this!” You yell desperately.

“Don’t be so dramatic!” Nathaniel says, his arms crossed, from the other side of the glass on your chamber

“But it stings!” you say looking at the industrial shower nozzles above you. “Water pressure is insane on that thing and the chemicals...” 

“It’s just a regular procedure! Your skin is still adjusting to being out of your pod!” 

“You haven’t ever done this before! You don’t know how it is!” You’ve done this dozen of times now...

He sighs.

“You’re just being one big child. You’ll get used to it!” 

“I’d want to see you get used to it!!” you challenge him

“Oh, you would like that, you little runt? Well, I’m going to show you!” he says starting to take his clothes off.

“Nat, I’m not sure you should do that...” the operator starts...

“Shut it, Jeff. I’m going to show my doll how much of a whiner he is!”

“Alright... Suit yourself. You show him who’s boss” Jeff smiles. 

“I know you’re the boss Nath, I just want to get out! This isn’t... Aaaahhh!!” you yell as the pressurized water starts running down, piercing you like daggers. The chemicals get into your eyes and it burns like fire. This is hell...

“Oh come on! It’s not that bad!” he says standing in his underwear in front of you. 

“Let me show you,” he says entering the adjacent chamber. “Hit me, Jeff!”

“Alright!”  

“You’re always complaining about everything!. This is just a bit of water and... Ghaaa!!!” he screams as water starts running on his own chamber too, the excessive pressure pushing him to the floor.

Jeff just giggles as you bot keep banging on against the glass doors. There’s no release to be had until the cycle’s complete.

 ________________________________ 

Banging on the door…

You cover yourself with the sheets

“Hello?” someone asks.

“Wha…” you asks opening your eyes and coming out of the dream.

“Anyone home?” the familiar voice says.

You know who he is even before your powers pick up the mind behind the door.

Anathema.

“I’m coming!��

“Pidgeon… sorry, time to move” you say putting the cat down. “Why is he here?” you wonder getting some pants on and walking to the door.

“Awan are you in here?” more banging

“IM COMING!” you say as you hurry for the door.

Open it up, just a bit, with the chain latch on. It could still be some kind of trap… you never know.

“Hey!” he says looking at you through the small opening. “Came to check on you.”

Friendly smile, check. Plausible reasons for showing up unannounced, check. 

Genuine concern, check. Darn. He’s already scored 3 points ahead of you.

“Hi,” you say almost reluctantly. “I’m fine”

“Ortega told me you got shot.”

“Yes, but I got better”

“Uhu,” he nods. He’s clearly not buying it.

“Yeah. It was nothing really”

“He told me it was two shots to the chest”

“He’s being dramatic”

“And then you ran away having some sort of breakdown”

“He’s exaggerating. It was late so I came home.”

“Well I’m glad to hear that”

“Good”

“I mean you’d tell me if things weren’t ok, right?”

“Obviously” you lie.

“But nothing’s wrong”

“Nope”

“Perfect. So can I come in?”

“Why?”

“Because I’m your friend?”

“We can be friends from here”

“I did invite you to my place… and I paid for your dessert last time… and it was a big one”

“You did…” It was one big expensive ice-cream, you have to admit.

“So you owe me”

“ … “

“Open the door Awan”

“Uh… Do I have to?”

“Yes, unless you want to have a puddle of acid instead of a door.”

“But I told you I'm fine!”

“Yeaaah… that’s bullshit. Open up already, let me see what we’re dealing with”

You freeze for a few seconds, pondering over your options. You could still escape through the window… Or just block the door with furniture…

“Fine. You can come in” you concede in the end.

“Thanks!” he says with a bright smile as you close it, remove the chain and let him in.

He takes a few steps inside, smiling at you.

“I didn’t know you were coming! Didn’t have time to tidy up!” you say quickly, moving to the side to let him in.

“Oh it can’t be that bad” he keeps walking forward…

Until he freezes, his eyes going all over the current state of your apartment. The broken boards… The cracked paint. The disassembled electronics laying around all over the place. The cat, eating from your unfinished meal over the table. The mess that is your bed. Your clothes, laying around everywhere. The broken chair laying in pieces on a corner…

“... And you had the guts to tell me you were fine…” he says taking a deep breath.

Why the hell did you open that door…?

------A few hours later-----------

You’re exhausted… Anathema became a pure force of nature, and you had no choice but to join him in cleaning the whole place. Throwing the trash, ordering your stuff, folding your clothes, doing laundry…

You’ve got to admit it’s looking pretty decent now. Almost like a real home. Even Pidgeon approves, now that he has his own place on a cushion and most of the obstacles and trash have been removed.

“Isn’t this better?” he asks.

“Yes,” you answer embarrassed. It’s obviously so much better.

“You’ve got to take care of yourself man”

“I know”

“How’s the chest wounds?” he asks, still concerned

“THose are fine!” you say quickly. “Not going to a hospital”

“Fine.. fine… “ he says a bit startled “I don’t get it what’s with you and hospitals”

“I don’t trust them”

“Alright, I won’t insist,” he says letting it go. “I’m just worried about you”

“I know… and.. “ 

“Hmm?” he looks at you a bit puzzled.

“Thank you,” you say, swallowing hard. “Thank you for coming here I mean…”   Thank you for caring, is what you actually want to say.

“Hey it’s ok!” he grins “I’m here for you, I told you.” he looks at the bags of trash ready for the recycling bins “How did it get so bad?”

Now that’s a good question.

“I don’t know… I guess I’ve been alone too long? At some point… it stopped mattering”

“Well, things like this do matter… Or at least they should. It’s your house after all. You live here”

“That’s true…” you admit. You hadn’t really thought about it… This was just your hideout. A base. A place to sleep in while you plan your next move. Somewhere you could keep Pidgeon safe. Not a home. Not a place to live in…

“There’s life beyond all that,” he says pointing at your large clue board” he smiles. “Don’t let it consume you.

“I’ll try not to,” you say returning the smile.

“I know all about this…” he says “...I mean I had some severe depressions too”

“I’m not depressed…” you say, doubts invading your mind the moment you say it. Are you?

“You say that but... letting go of yourself like this, It's a clear sign, you know?”

You sigh. There might be more truth to this than you can admit to yourself…

“Does it get better?” you ask, immediately feeling embarrassed. Why are you admitting this…? Why let him know how you …

“Yeah” he answers putting a hand over your shoulder. “It does get better. Trust me, it does”

You chat for a few more hours after that. 

Time seems to go fast.

Talking to him comes naturally, and makes you think about stuff you hadn’t ever considered. Your projects for the future. Your thoughts on the city. Gossiping about the other rangers. Hearing his experiences with his transition...

Something slowly begins to crack in your armor. He’s doing with Void’s bullets could not. 

_____________________

My Fanfics: https://chaniters.tumblr.com/post/181692759294/my-fanfiction-for-fallen-hero

DISCLAIMER: This is a work of fan fiction using characters and the setting of the Fallen Hero: Rebirth and upcoming Fallen Hero: Retribution games written by Malin Riden. I do not claim ownership of any characters from the Fallen Hero wold. These stories are a work of my imagination, and I do not ascribe them to the official story canon. These works are intended for entertainment outside the official storyline owned by the author. I am not profiting financially from the creation of these stories, and thank the author for her wonderful game/s, without which these works would not exist.

#fallen hero: rebirth #fallen hero fanfic #Awan Cormac #Anathema #Taking care of oneself #fallen hero spoilers

[strangeryousee]

Not really one to post a lot of personal stuff here but my blog is dead so this seemed pretty close to throwing my grief into the void and pretending someone is listening.... rather than continuing to hold it in. You know how it goes, you start feeling like youre annoying your friends so you keep to yourself for a while, then some shit happens and you have no one to turn to, you dont want to give your friends your emotional turmoil.... and then it snowballs and grows. And youre facing it alone. And then you get stuck in your own head, and youre fighting to stay afloat in there but maintaining that everything is a-ok and putting on a brave face for everyone around you because youve decided you arent going to burden them with your bullshit...... And then it starts to feel like youre invisible. The Catalyst: The only man Ive ever really loved (And I did love him, Ive avoided admitting that for a long time, but I did), the only man I have ever let touch me.... I realized earlier this week that I just.... dont feel anything for him anymore. And thats for the best. I know it is. He never did love me back, it was a totally one sided, drawn out affair. I cant even in good conscience call it a relationship. It was a dysfunctional, lustful friendship and convenient hook-up at best. But after over TWO YEARS of that dysfunctional friendship its still pretty daunting to wake up one day and realize youve just.... become numb to something.... SomeONE that used to mean SO MUCH to you. Even though I knew it was bound to happen, I knew I couldnt be smitten forever and that one day he would finally push me too far and the rose colored glasses would fall off for good... its still.... fucking depressing, is what it is. He and I went from texting DAILY and hanging out once every week or two...  to hardly speaking. Which we had done once or twice before for a month or two but always because of a fight. Not this time, no, this time we both just... sort of.... stopped contacting each other for no reason. Even though Im more or less ok with us not communicating (especially) while I work through this it still leaves a large emotional gap in my life. Even if it was meaningless and habitual, It was still someone.... contacting me EVERY DAY to ask how Im doing. And even though I dont particularly want to speak to him right now it still hurts to think that hes just as ambivalent to the sudden change as I am. I so badly wanted to mean as much to him as he did to me. I wanted that for SO long, and it never happened. I feel like Im on a hair trigger because of all of this. Everything is wildly more upsetting and personal than it should be. And I cant convince my mouth to open and to just TELL anyone whats wrong because I know my friends are suffering from the same compassion fatigue as I am. I was messing with this guy for two years, they are beyond done hearing about it all. Then there was a new friend in my life that may have possibly contributed to my change in heart. He possessed a lot of the qualities the lover lacked and he was sort of sweet on me, flirtatious, generous. I was flattered, hes a really attractive guy. But as soon as things even HINTED at a “more than friends” level and I realized I might honestly "have a crush” on this friend I completely froze him out. Not intentionally. I just- I seized up, I got scared. Insecure. I can barely choke out a hello or look him in the eyes now. Even though this guy and I were friends he seems to have responded to my abrupt cold shouldering with an equally cold shoulder... and moved on to other pursuits more receptive to his attention. And I cant blame him, were still friends, even if I dont know how to act around him right now, I know were still friends, I just also know hes too conventionally attractive and young to waste too much time on a fish thats not biting (especially since we BOTH tend to be the “I dont speak unless spoken to” type) Watching this new friend change gears so quickly and easily sent me on a downward spiral with my own self esteem though. So Ive.... hurt my own damn feelings, basically, and Im not emotionally equipped to handle it at the moment. Or equipped to handle anything. I left work an hour early because I burst into tears and couldnt stop and I am NOT the kind of person who lets anyone see me cry. I have a mountain of projects on my art desk I havent touched, have no desire to touch. I cant sleep. No appetite. My roommate is basically holding my hand at this point to make sure I do adult things on time and correctly like pay my bills and make a doctors appointment. I keep yo-yoing between emotionally oversaturated and feeling empty. Im just an.... eggshell. Hollow and fragile. I dont think anyone in their right mind will read this pity party all the way to its end but if you do, god bless you, thanks for listening, Im sorry, I dont even have the energy to make this anecdotal or fun to read. Thank you for coming to my fear-of-intimacy Ted Talk. Have a good night.

[merlinthoughts]

Season 1 Episode 2 - Valiant

- ik for a fact that this one is the episode with the asshhoole. not bc i recognised it from the title but perhaps it was because i recognised it from the title u got me there

- i always go to mr clean too when i want protection, val, ur not alone

- yeah, this is harry potter l ma o

- the next thing u know theres a stone that makes arthur live forever and the snakes start joining into one and growing bigger until a phoenix (im dibbing on kilgie here), pops their corneas out

- DAMN DON'T KILL UR DEALER WHERE U GONNA GET THE NEW SHIT FROM NEXT TIME SMH VALIANT

- okay but who names their son valiant

- he was probably named valerie and didnt like it so he said “woah imma be valiant like courage, thats sick”

- that was probably his superhero persona as a child ngl

- no, shev, no respect for val stop doing this

- merlin in armour, what a fucking bLESiSNG GIVING ME THIS RIGHT ON THE SPOT BBC KNOWS WHATS GOOD

- ok a y but hear me out, merlins a servant. i have not seen any of these servants been asked to train with the royals??? like in the sense where it helps the servant train as well?? and the FIRST thing arthur does with merlin as his servant is train with him. not only is arthur a huge JOCK, he’s not using his manservant properly

- neverfuckingmind “most servants collapse after the first blow”, so it seems to be arthur likes to train with his servants. now that in itself is a question to be asked, but is he the only royal who trains with his servants??? how did this man survive on his own without a personal servant until merlin??? did he have a personal servant??? was it just regular servants?? who are those other servants he trained with??? did arthur just say hey lets go to the field in the morning, put on armour and let’s have a fun time?? UNLESS merlin literally just took someones job away from them kmao

- also my mind went right to the gutter guys, ngl, it sounded like an innuendo. it had me quaking i wish i was one of those servants

- “we all have our duties, even arthur” “it must be so tough for him, all the *hesitates* girl, all the glory”

- so we probably get at least 1 out of every 2 episodes where there’s a scene with merlin dressing arthur in his armour. bring the popcorn, lads.

- MORGANA LOOKING LIKE A FRICKEN SNACK

- the reigning champion is arthur, wonder fucking w h y

- valiant is in fucking mustard, while arthur is fucking ketchup idk why i thought of that but it happened. my literature teacher always told me to look for symbolisms. guess we found one guys.

- merlin after hating on arthur for the past episode is literally just cheering arthur on like a good husband he is

- did ARTHUR JUST SNICKER AT MERLINS “CREEP” LMAO DON'T TRY AND HIDE IT BY HUFFING AT HIM AFTERWARDS YOU FUCKING GOOF

- omg he hid it by telling merlin to do a full novel of chores

- AND MERLIN DOES IT WITH MAGIC A PAIR OF GOOFS

-  “are you using magic again” “no” merlin ffs he just saw you use magic, while the items fell and landed right in front of him while you didn’t move at aLL. they are nOT BLIND

- “very aggressive style” I MEAN SURE UTHER

- valerie be fuckboying morgana lmao with a “i saw you watching” and a, “then i will give everything to win the tournament”

- i wish this show was set in the early 2000s so i can see val in low sweatpants, a backwards cap with gelled spiky hair and cheap neon sunglasses (maybe even some gold teeth just for kicks), while hes trying to rap 50 cents or make a mixtape of brit pop songs. bc yes.

- honestly im loving my 2000 fuckboy au. gonna make an ao3 after this.

- of course merlin would be the one to find out the magic shit in valiants room, it just lures him. AND OF COURSE VALIANT IS THERE

- i'm so fucking glad arthur looks confused as to how merlin did what he asked. when u have this kind of hubby, arthur, its amazing what things he can do.

- i dont know why theres dramatic music as merlin put armour on arthur but im living for it

- “is it my imagination or are you beginning to enjoy yourself?” merlin doesn't know what to say to that bc he’s turning gay and doesn't know if that counts as enjoying oneself when the one you are gay for is the asshole prince

- typically enough, valiant and arthur never fight except for the finale. like with all conveniences in place, youd expect them to have at least fought at some point with as much knights as there to determine the final two but no, just the finale. k.

- this poor fucking purple knighted bloke didn’t need to be fucking demonstrated on, val. like you didn't need to kill him?? that could have blown ur cover

- DID NOBODY SEE THAT??? DID NOBODY SEE THE FUCKING SNAKES???

- oooh merlin found out what happened everyone gonna be fucked. nobody harms arthur is he has something to say about it

- if someone starts off a sentence with “i just saw someones snakes on their shield come alive” nobody would fucking believe you, merls. but given the fact that magic exist… mhh maybe it wouldn’t be too absurd. but ppl apparently are thick as hell

- “why were you in his chambers” well i know how id explain if i was in valiants chambers ;)

- jk i dont fall for this toxic shit

- imagine getting paid as an actor just just lie down there like this poisoned kid. “yeah, id like to audition for ewan’s role???” “why are you lying on the ground?”

- i hate those tropes where it's like “i know how to tell someones bad, here’s proof” and then nobody believes you and tells you you’re lying and should die or whatever but then you kNOW IT'S THE FUCKIN TRUTH BITCH that trope gives me damn anxiety >:((

- yes merlin, fucking slash the shield with your sword. i'm sure that's how it works. im sure it will kill the snakes.

- HOWA RE THE SNAKES ALIVE WITHOUT VAL SAYING “ISHNAHASHAHI”

- i think val would know that you cut off the snake’s head, merls, just saying. ur were the oNLY ONE.

- TELL ARTHUR WHAT??? “I CUT A SNAKE”

- EXACLTY ONG THAT'S WHAT MERLIN FUCKING SAID I WAS RIGHT LMAO

- ARTHUR BELEIVED HIM I'M FUCKING LIVING BUT IK WHAT HAPPENS AND AHH

- uhhh the anxiety is rolling up boys

- ewan is mcfuckingdead

- snake be sliding in like a hoe on a business

- bfehfjdjfskf i hate this part

- arthur's pride, merlin’s pride, fuck me

- i'm not even gonna write this part, it breaks my fragile heart when arthur sees the look of people not believing him, especially his dad, and merlin seeing how arthur doesn't trust him anymore like prepare the eulogies girlies

- okay but if arthur is struck and gaius has the antidote?? arthur aint gonna die technically

- but now val knows merlin knows

- AND MERLIN INTERVENES

- why are royals so bitchy towards servants. like they do their best to help you??? they are loyal to you and are paid there to serve you and are often very kind, generous, passive, understanding people??? yet merlin interrupts uther and he fucking sends him to the pit

- VAL YOU ASS LMAO DON'T HURT MY SON’S PRIDE

- he said allegations like four times, yes uther we know ur vocab is shining with intellect but seriously, there’s other synonyms that could still be acceptable and still sound fancy

- quick search on google bc my mind doesnt roll fast enough: claim, assertion, charge, accusation, declaration, statement, contention, deposition, argument, affirmation. see daddy uther, not hard to look up.

- forget they didnt have internet whoopsies

- :((( arthur doesn't trust merlin anymore

- the husbands FIGHT

- not just a banter petty fight, this is a huge fight

- SACKING MERLIN DON'T FUCKING SACK MERLIN YOU GOOF

- TRUST UR HUBBY

- FUCK

- I'M GONNA CRY AND IT'S ONLY EPISODE TWO

- I'M HAVING EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS CONCERNING MY TWO BOYS

- GUYS IM NOT OKAy

- its been 2 minutes after i wrote that last sentence, and i am now okay

- “a half cannot truly hate that which makes it whole” iconic as hell. so many things could be said about that quote. either for innuendo purposes, love purposes, destiny purposes, how long it took me to say it right, just so many purposes man. it’s just iconic.

- merlin looks absolutely done with kilgaharama’s shit

- “just give me a straight answer” seems like kilgarass here is being too gay for merlin

- gwen already knows merlin’s the heroin of the series, saying everyone knows it's merlin who will save the day. but same tbh

- i dunno if this is like me or not but it says her nickname is gwyn in the subtitles but im typing it as gwen which i thought was how u wrote it, even if her full name is gwynevere but like gwen has a ring to it while gwyn sounds like gwin or smth and i dunno which one is right so ill just leave it alone ahjsjfk

- MORGANA HAS VISIONS WE ALREADY KNOW WHERE THIS GOES SHES MAGIC ISNT SHE HAHAHAHAUHD

- merlin trying one last time to convince his husband not to die, but at least this time arthur knows he’s up for val’s magic and is like “k iloveyou but i have to do this for the country not just bc of pride and thinking val is not magic”

- staring into the fire like he’s hoping it would suck him up into the void, not only is merlin a now confirmed emo, so is fucking arthur it seems. perfect for one another i'm telling you

- eerie music as morgana enters… wha suddenly i can't read

- i thought at first morgana and arthur were gonna end up together cause of the fucking weird tension going on and i was prepared to be disfuckinggusted but no! the show and producers actually put my expectations away and helped me see that it wasn’t going in that direction! thank fucking god! 

- k but arthur looks majestic in his gear im just a huge bi

- “don’t go into my room” he says then gaius peaks in and almost gets mauled by a large chihuahua

- me too val, id step on someone's toes then fuck them up with an undercut. thats the bad bitch way to go. unless it for arthur, then val hahaha you can go fuck yourself

- no one sees mErLin??

- but they now see the snakes smh fakes

- “what are you doing? i didn't summon you” i don't think that will work val cause you didn't say it with a serpent tongue, it has to sound more like “shhashhwhat ahhssare hiisssyou iisshhaadoing?”

- okay but i thought arthur was impaled for a half second until he started to talk then i screamed that he was aight and he would now believe merlin

- uther better give merlin an apology

- arthur just said he wouldnt

- but still uther BETTER APOLOGISE TO FUCKING MERLIN

- “yknow i wish valiant was escorting me” “me too” i thought for a fricken moment arthur wished valiant would have escorted HIM. i'm dying.OMG

- “i wanted to say i made a mistake. it was unfair to sack you.” “don’t worry about it. buy me a drink and we’ll call it even.” DID YOU JUST SAY WHAT I THINK YOU JUST SAID MERLIN YOU SLY DOG OMG

- “i can’t really be seen to be buying drinks for my servant.” so if he wasn’t ur servant?? you’d say yes?? they are so fucking gay i can't anymore

- yeah, i literally fucking can't

#merlin #merlin bbc #merthur #s1 #this is early bc well it was already written #peeps up for the next one boys #tho its not done #expect it in a few days oop #s1.2

[themikewheelers]

ok see i always assumed that when el went to ‘see’ mike she could also talk to him but didn’t bc she wasn’t supposed to. like in ep1 when she calls out his name i always assumed it was a similar scene as in ep2 but we just couldn’t see el’s POV. and in ep2 when she says his name i think he heard that and THATS why he said hers but assumed he was going crazy. also like el talking to mike w/ the tv was p common bc hopper seemed to be used to her visiting him. which she was doing in ep1 also

the void is tbh so hard to understand bc we havent ever rlly been given an explanation of it we’re just kinda working out assumptions by mixing together the info from each scene we get ?? but okay i THINK mike could hear her in it if she chose to speak ?? because think about the scene in 107 when she’s finding will in the void. she was able to talk to him and he heard her. i think how the void works is like, when she’s able to channel out the rest of the world (i.e. sensory deprivation, which !! notice how as the show goes on she needs less and less of it bc she’s getting better at harnessing her powers) she’s able to channel her powers and go to this part of her mind where she’s able to find people. there she’s able to see where they are and what they’re doing and all that, but they can’t see her. she’s not rlly there physically, but since it’s implied to be a part of her telepathy, i think the best way to explain it is that she’s there in THEIR minds, so they can sense that she’s there. and if she says something, it won’t really be heard from where they are (UNLESS she chooses to say it through something near them, like how she said mike’s name into the supercom in 201) but they can hear it in their heads. and that’s how she was able to communicate with will in 107. it also explains why she can’t touch people in the void, or at least why she can’t for very long. since it’s only a mental connection and not a physical one, going to physically touch them messes up the connection and all the unexplained pseudo-science behind it, and it forces them out of the void. when she’s more focused and is better able to keep up the connection, she can touch someone slightly longer (again like will in 107) but when she’s more emotional and isn’t very focused to begin with, she can’t touch them at all (like when she tried to hug mike in 207). the fact that it’s a part of her telepathy also explains how she was able to communicate with terry and see terry’s memories, because since what she’s really doing is just using her powers to enter someone’s mind, she can access whatever memories they share to her and can mentally communicate with them, though that is probably something she can only do with terry, as terry has some extent of powers herself so with her they both have a presence in the void, rather than el just visiting someone alone. anyways !!! i find the void so interesting like before s2 i never gave it much thought but after all the s2 scenes with it im forever so fascinated with how it works !! 

[charrte-blog]

          REN’S GUIDE IF YOU’RE NEW TO A FANDOM !!

      hello , if you’re reading this then that means you might’ve thought about joining tumblr rpc and jumped into a new fandom rpc with a new blog. that means 0 posts , 0 friends , 0 anything. you’ve either just a new baby or a veteran who keeps on making new blogs on impulse ( did you mean: me ). you’re very excited to jump start shit but you don’t know how to because you practically have no one to interact with. 

    fear not , this is a natural occurrence ----- in the first days of joining a fandom , literally no one knows you. should you feel unwanted and unwelcome and just give up and delete your blog because no one will interact with you anyway ?  OF COURSE NOT !!  or at least try not to , because one thing to keep you going on your blog is hope. that one day , you’ll have peers to write with or even non-mutuals wanting to interact with you. people won’t come to you ; YOU HAVE TO REACH OUT FOR THEM !!  second , keep in mind that you did this blog for writing ; everything else follows. people see you love writing about your character and the effort you put in it , they follow you. most of the time , they’ll think  “ oh wow this person thought a lot about their muse and that’s interesting , must be fun to write with them ”. you just keep posting in this blog even if no one cares because you love to write. 

    honestly , a tip so that anyone will interact with you is just be approachable and post things relatable with another person without having being too much of an attention seeker. i , for one , personally scream into the void ic or ooc all the time until someone notice me ( because i’m one year old ) and because i’m comfortable screaming to myself , but that doesn’t mean you keep posting OOC posts because no one likes a blog with no writing and just full of OOC posts. worse is that most of these posts are about being alone and unwanted , and trust me pal , the fandom welcomes you even if you don’t know ----- and that’s because YOU HAVEN’T REACHED OUT. people are very accommodating if you try to get to know them !  however, some won’t really interact with you if you , yourself , show them that you wouldn’t want to interact with yourself because you think you’re “ unwanted ”.  bitch , make yourself wanted !!  IT’S 2018 , LOVE YOURSELF !!  

    but ren how can i ask anyone interact with me ?  one , PROMOS:  it doesn’t mean you sell yourself to satan for photoshop skills ; just make it decent , short , and delivers all necessary info for us to know who your muse is , from what series they’re from , are you indie / affiliated / mutuals only , and what your nickname is. hell , throw an aesthetic quote in there if you want ; just fucking own your brand !  two , IMS:  slide into the dms of your fave rper and say hello !!   seriously , you have to stop thinking that people will come to you all the time ; you have to do it yourself too especially if people don’t even know you.  stop expecting that they’ll care about you and dm you if they don’t even know about you and your blog ; like i said before, PUT YOURSELF OUT THERE AND REACH OUT !!  friends you know may help you boost up your promo and encourage you , but the thing is , you have to step up and talk with other people first. stop thinking you’re unwanted , you’re alone , nobody gives a shit , etc. and that’s because you , yourself , are too shy to talk with people or you feel people don’t give a shit. maybe if you talk with them ooc , you’ll know that they too are just intimidated of you or something. you’ll never know unless you ask so JUST SAY HELLO. be nice and don’t talk as if someone is entitled to interact with you ; they’re not. and you’ll have to learn to accept that some people may not want to write with you and that’s okay ; it’s not your fault. people have many differences and preferences and you just have to find your match. 

    i’m telling this because i’ve always been new to fandoms since i make blogs a lot and it’s rough to start. people don’t interact with me , it just felt so pointless , etc. but that didn’t stop me because i came to this fandom with this character because i love to write. the rest follows ; people see me loving what i do with character , they get inspired and follow and then we become friends. that’s how it happens. it’s not about the fame , the followers number , the quality , the aesthetics ---- it’s about displaying your passion for writing and for this character / fandom. i just dislike it when people post about themselves making their blogs then add  “ but no one will interact with me anyway ”  because they’ve experienced something like this before and  like some sort of pity party because maybe you just hadn’t tried to put yourself out there ; maybe you didn’t do anything for people to know you first ; or maybe you’re just jumping to conclusions. but you have to know that not every experience is going to be the same. it’s okay to feel sad , to feel down about it and tell your friends so they can help, but no one wants to hear that you’re unwanted because you’re not unwanted. you’re not alone. we’re here but maybe we just don’t know you yet and we would love to. don’t give up.

    make yourself known.

                    ---------- OK TO REBLOG !!

#SHOUTOUT ! / psa. #long post / #smh #i had to shout this for the people in the back

[pavle-fredfox-blog]

The 4th wall breaking Missadventures of the 55189th

                               World 2687 “Lunaris I”

Location :site *****

Leutenant Pavle“The Emperial forces are struggling to take the location.We are going in to take one of the rebel HQ’s.Wish us luck”.

Commander Alexander “Where is the back up unit”.

Soilder “Sir they were ordered by RC 15 to take out a key position”.

Explosions go out in the distance and a mech the size of an elephant falls from the sky.

???? “GOD DAMIT, they have anti-mech systems.I will try and regroup with...”

Leutenant Pavle“Negative private stay there and try helping the push a little.”

RC15 “Remember i want the leading officers Alive”*comunications cut out for 2 seconds*”your punishment for failure will be severe this time,and no explosives until the taget is secured.”.

Leutenant Pavle “OK squad split up me and 3 of you to the right,4 go straight,and 4 go right,the rest decide where to go”just as he said that 25 anti-mech turrets pop out and shoot down 15 out of the 20 squad members (counting those that made it there).

“Ok change of plans we will all take out these turrets and slowly try one way after the other.Also we will go from the left to the right and then throu middle”.

The 5518 mech corp squad a was wondering for about an hour throu the whole sector and ended up destroying enouf of the hq that the rebels had to retreat.the commanding officers mostly escaped except for the few that were eather injured,captured or sleaping.The victory at the HQ forced the rebels to reatreat about 10 kilomiter’s and for them to thin out their line a bit.    

Leutenant Pavle “Ok men lets go party,i hope that HQ dosen’St change the plans in the last second”

RC15 “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. Willian Shakespeare right???.Oh and you were are right about that we changed the plan.The enemy has a communication’s outpost 150 Killometers here,if you capture it we can  try to encircle the enemy force in this region.”

Leutenant Pavle”Wow your on fire today commander.Also woud it not be easier if you just used your magic to whipe them off the face off the universe.”

RC15”Eh im to lazy to do it,Plus i have to manage the rest of the front”.

Leutenant Pavle “Well you heard her LETS GO I DONT WANT TO GET US EXECUTED FOR TREASON.Also will we get any reainforcements,we are kinda low on men.”

RC15 “Not my problem”.

Leutenant Pavle “Great,i hope the reward wont be a day off like last time”.

                           Operation Starnberg

Leutenant Pavle”After the order was given out we were teleported to the location,We rushed to end it....”

Corporal Volnus “Sir the enemy has 8 Anti-Mech Batteries (one battery is one Artilery gun), 2 on every side.It looks like its the main Communication tower “ *Communications cut off*

Leutenant Pavle “CORPORAL VOLNUS..REPORT IN WHAT IS HAPPPENING.CORPORAL JOVAN WHAT IS HAPPPENING REPORT IN................I HATE PLOT ARMOUR...SORRY PILOT ARMOUR”

RC15 “Jeez calm down its just corporal Volnus a lazy son of a **** and that guy from earth Jovan.Now take out the communications or i will”

A light started shining so bright that it was seen across the system

A loud scream was heard across the system

“I WHO SHALL AWAKEN HAVE AGREED TO LEND MY DRAGONLY POWER,THOSE WHO HEAR THIS SHALL KNOW MY NAME,I AM INTURION.SCREAM MY NAME IN PAIN AS I GRANT REVENGE ON THOSE WHOM I SEE FIT TO DIE.LETS GO ,YOUR TRAIN TO PURGATORY AWAITS.So call my name scream INTURION!!!!!!!!!”.

Screams coud be heard across the system,as Leutenant Pavle started to become deformed,His body slowly turned into a mix of a dragon and a human.During the entire time he screamed “I am the one who calls upon this anchent power,oh holy dragon awaken at the sound of my scream for INTURION I SUMMON YOU”

                                          2 mounths later

Leutenant Pavle “ I remember waking up outside of my mech surrounded by a field of dead people coloured red both me and the corpses.One of my arms had “Scream my name and i shall grant you power.But i shall take your life force away.Every hour shall become a year with my power” writen on it.

The doctors started to remove him from the healing equipment when a man rushed into the room.He carried a letter that was signed by RC15.

Pavle opened the letter,it said :

Congratulations on your promotion General Pavle,You not only managed to take out the enemy leadership and their communications but also 15025 rebel soilders,2500 Anti-Mech batteries,250 Mech’s and also destroyed a Usnik class dreadnough.You shall become leader of the new 55189TH Extermination Force or better known as EF.”

I remember that he cried when he read that and then he said “I WONT GET BOSSED AROUND YES”.

The doctors laughed at that and then he said “i forgot to tell you you have an order to go to your army and train the soilders.Also they want you to get an special unit to go with you.You coud call them the Black blood battalion,i mean i hope you find who blead black just like you did 2 mounths ago”.

General Pavle “That is how the name of our Battalion came to be.There was another battalion like that,I cant remember the name,let me ask the guy who created the timeline.”.

                             END RECORDING

                                                              RECORDING .....

General Pavle”The training of the Black Blood Batalion is going great.It sucks that i must also manage the Extermination Force.Well i guess i better get to training i heard there may be new recruits coming soon.But it is not certain until the Maze ends.Today is 2 years from operation Starnberg and 2 years from death of my best friends and comrades Steff Sergeant Jovan and high sergeant Volnus.”

He looked sadly with a bit of anger,you coud see the flames in his eyes ready to become reality.He scremed the name Inturion after and imagined himself ripping RC15 to shreads.That all got out “SO TELL ME HOW ARE YOU SLEAPING EASY,HOW ARE YOU ONLY THINKING OF YOURSELF.SHOW ME HOW DA F**** DO YOU JUSTIFY TELLING ALL YOUR LIES LIKE SECOND NATURE” RC19 heard that and replied “OK SHUT THE FUCK UP IM LISTENING TO A GUY BEING TOTURED IF YOU DONT SHUT UP YOUR NEXT”

General Pavle “Listen mark my words one day one day YOU WILL PAY YOU WILL PAY.Karma’s gonna come collect your dept (sais RC15 silently)”

RC19 “SHUT THE F*** UP LAST WARNING”

General Pavle”Also one thing,when is the next maze??”

RC3 “Next cicle and you better shut up i don’t want RC19 to get you frst *smiles*”

General Pavle “Thanks RC3 but i just want to ask how much time do i have to run??”

RC3 “5”

General Pavle “THANKS NOW BYE”

He ran like no person did before.He was able to run away from RC3 for a good 10 seconds,then he triped and fell off the hill and was about to fall into the torture chaimbers

General Pavle “FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU”

RC3 “OH YES”

It was at this moment Pavle knew he fucked up,so he pulled a pistol out and said “I always was a peace of s**** and if i coud, i woud kill myself,but its elegal OUCH with OUCH all of the read coats”.

And then he pulled the trigger to see his clip was empty, and then he saw a big as f*** rock heading for his face, he coud hear in the distance

You guess what happened next.He barely dodged the rock but fell into the chambers hitting his manly bits on a covenietly placed “steel mat that had sharp bits” and he screamed in pain so much that RC19 took her headphones off and started dancing to it.RC3 stoped and started laughing.

General Pavle “I...guess if im gonna die like this,then i will say this NOW WE ARE ALL SONS OF BITCHES”

RC3 “He knows he wont die and will just be healed right??

General Pavle “JUST LET ME DIE YOU SICK F***.I hate my life,i hate everything. You sick twisted F***”

RC3 “Who are you talking to???.Eh never mind you know what will happen”

General Pavle “I hate myself right now i wish that the mind eraser is going to be manufactured soon”

                                                     2 Hours later

General Pavle “Welp thanks for that doc.i realy hope RC3 wont stay here for a long time”

Random medic “Dont worry she wont.but you are an unluck guy.Your being sent off to a far off planet  with RC35 to take out a mayor rebel stronghold.It is rumoured that a person who can fight Read Coats is there”

General Pavle “Welp i guess its good to move away from this place...it reminds me of operation Starnberg.I lost all of my best friends and comrades in the frst 15 minutes of the mission”

Commander Wilhelm “Well i guess im not the only poor bastard assigned to that planet.I lost about 15 houndred men in the frst 30 minutes”.

He said that with a small anger in his voice.He looked at General Pavle and said “I know what you have been throu,RC15 was my commander too.She forced us to deploy behind enemy lines and try to take their commander.It is to bad she put the coordinates to be in a minefield 200 Kilometers away from the location.It was also near their artillery corp. so i lost most of my battalion in there just to end up getting there with 15 men.Out of which only me and 2 others survived”

General Pavle “You know if i didn’t lose anything i loved and cared for i woud have had a different reaction.For now i coud not care less”

RC15 “Hate me,YOU CANT ESCAPE ME and you are NEVER gonna change me”

General Pavle “Shut up IM DONE TAKING YOUR SHIT.LEAVE ME ALONE OK,I DONT WANT TO SEE YOU UNLESS IM FORCED TO “

RC15 “WELL FUCK YOU”

Suddenly 15 red lights start flashing around General Pavle.He noticed it and barely escaped the houndreds of red chains coming out of the light.RC15 scremed at him “BE A GOOD BOY AND DIE LIKE YOUR FRIENDS VOLNUS AND JOVAN”.Pavle screamed at her to shut up.But she kept repeating it until...

General Pavle “I Who shall awaken am the Banished dragon.I am the one who laughs at the Red Coats,i Greave when i see the Blue Caps.I shall become one of the 3 Great Dragon’s Inturion.I shall drag you to the void for your judgement.”

He screamed out loud to summon him cause the dragon’s can say nah bruh

“ INTURION”

A light shined,as bright as a star.A voice called out a name.But the only reply was

“I am Inturion and the unification has just begun.I shall punish you for thy sins and then i will get a little vacation”.Pavles body started to change shape,as an armour made of purple appeared on him.The arour looked similar toa medival knight,While having a crusader-ish helmet.

The station shaked like there was an earthquake.In a millisecond Pavle travelled 500 meters and hit RC15.I will call her by her name from now on.The name is Isidora

Isidora was able to barely dodge it.She hit Pavle in the chest,he did not shake at all.He punched her in the face.Her shield broke and Isidora got thrown 50 meters back just to hit a wall.About 25 red lights the size of a normal person’s head pop up above Pavle.2 THOUSAND chains come crashing down chasing him throu the room.Pavle charges throu the door breaking it.He runs off heading to the Hangar,Isidora chases him there constantly summoning thousands of shains that chase him.Each time one of those gets close enouf to him he dodges it.It took them 10 seconds to travel 150 kilometers from the medical bay to the hangar.RC3 was preparing to leave when she saw what is happening she joined in.The fight got bloodier.The entire fight Isidora screamed

“DIE LIKE THE REST”

the entire time.Pavle Screamed back

“I fight for what i feel is right.You know if i don’t then WHO will fight for what is right,who is gonna fight for the weak.AND IF IT COMES TO IT TONIGHT I WILL BE READY TO DIE”.

After he said that a big Purple light started to go out of his eye,he pushed RC3  away she hit a wall 200 meters away from the fight.The crew that was in the hangar was shocked some one coud stand up to red coats,none of them tought it was possible to defeat one of them but two was a thing they tought only the god can do.He jumped back 50 meters,while also screaming “DJOLE I SUMMON YOUR BLADE TO SMITE JUDGEMENT” .A blade of purple light 15 meters long.It took Isidora                    15 Nanoseconds to attack him.He blocked her and kicked her back 55 meters.He sliced off her thumb at the same time.RC3 jumped and kicked him in the face,he tried to punch her but she dodged,then Isidiora punched him between his legs.There was no Dragon armour on that bit.He screamed so loud that the entire ship heard him scream

“DONT PUNCH THERE”.He kicked her in the head and knocked her out.A red light the size of a person poped up above Pavle.RC3 kicked Pavle in the face and 2 TONS of chains fall on him.Pavle falls unconcus,his body reshaping to how it was before the battle,His armour disappeared,after the chains cleared out,RC3 started to laugh and she said “Welp looks like he almost killed you RC15,”

RC15 “He....woud have succeded if you did not join in”.

RC3 “Well i guess i was not wrong about him.

            200 Years later on station X-55189

Pavle wakes up hearing a siren and he hears a voice.”Coution The Inturion is waking up!!!”.

Pavle opens his eyes and hears “Are you sure he is alive,i don’t want to lose my rating i healed 20 thousands soilders.I WONT LET MY RATING GET RUINED BY ONE GUY WHO IS IN A COMA FOR 200 YEARS.Now let me do my job”. He uses his magic glowing eye to try blinding Pavle while yelling “WAKE THE F*** UP AS****”.

Pavle wakes up and said” STOP IT”

Dock stitches sais “Great thing you woke up after 200 years i guess??.I got a list of things to tell you.

1st from the Read Coats GET THE F*** WORK

2nd from grand admiral GET THE F*** TO WORK

3rd  from most soilders i met HOW are you

4th from RC3 you ok??

5th  from i donno who but it sais that RC15 is not to blame for the death of Volnus and Jovan.

And now there is 5 minutes till the mission begins now get ready and lets go.meet you on the field”

General Pavle “IS RC3 near me??”

Stitches “no she is not even in the station”

General Pavle “YES YES YES”

Stitches “she is in a transport shuttle docking in the room next to you”

General Pavle “FFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUU”.

Pavle hears RC3 coming to the room,and he asks Stitches

General Pavle” PLEASE HELP ME DONT LET HER CATCH ME”

Stitches “ You have to go on a mission so i suggest you just put this on and run into the hangar bay and prepare for the mission”

Stitches hears a sound of doors breaking.RC3  asks “Is he up alredy”.Stitches starts running to the hangar,gets into his titan and drops down ,while falling he talks  to Pavle saying “You know your not the squad leader anymore”.Pavle responds by saying  “SORRY I CANT HEAR PEAPLE TALKING ABOUT THEIR AUTHORITY.

       THE END OF CHAPTER 1

GENERAL PAVLE “ IS HE REALY GONNA END IT LIKE THAT”

      Planet 559986 “Lucifor”

Location : Site 26

General Pavle “So what happened in the period of 200 years in which i overslept”

Mayor Boris “Nothing much,the rebellion got annihilated and RC15 got her thumb back after you cut it out,RC3 has killed 50 peaple who semed similar to you.And she is the one who asked that you don’t get killed”

Pavle hears Stitches screaming “ Dont give General Pavle ANYTHING.You know you shoud remove anything that can kill,AND ASK A READCOAT TO BE ON STANDBY IF HE TRIES TO LEAVE”.A random soilder asks “Why don’t we just send him to the front”.Stitches replies “DO YOU KNOW ABOUT FRIENDLY FIRE,THIS ISNT A GAME,HE CAN STILL SHOT PEAPLE ON OUR TEAM”.Stitche’s titan asks “Why don’t we just take his guns???.Stitches “Becose i am not an enginer and im not sure i can find a enginer who can remake a titan out off thin air”.Then a soilder ask “Why do you think that will happen “

Stitches said “My eye lets me see magic that people posses.And i am getting sick loking at him.DO YOU KNOW THAT HE ALMOUST KILLED RC3 AND RC15??.PLUS THOSE WEAPONS ARE OF HIS DEAD FRIENDS.IF YOU WANT TO BECOME AIR THAN GO AHEAD”.

A rebel platoon broke throu the lines and got to the camp,one of them shot at the tent General Pavle’s tent.He shot one of the few things one of the few gifts he had from his dead comrades.That was the last straw.

RC3 is currently doing paperwork on her ship,she gets a call.She looks to see its from Stitches.She answers it and sais “OK WHY ARE YOU INTERU..”.The call ended,she heard a loud scream from the planet.She tought it was some one being burned in the planets volcano that was nearby,which had direct communication lines with her.She then heard a loud shout

“OH BANISHED DRAGON,THE ONE WHO GIVES DEVINE PUNISHMENT.THY SHALL AWAKEN FROM THY SLUMBER.JUSTICE SHALL BE SERVED FOR WE ARE DONE DREAMING THE CENTURIES LONG DREAM.INTURION PRIMUS.”

Pavle’s body started to reshape,His fist reshaped into a human-dragon hybrid, and strong enouf to kill a person.His legs became a mix of human and dragon.His armour Was purple,with a mix of glass and steel being used in his helmet to both protect his eyes and improve his eyesight.That material was used to make cube shaped glasses near his eyes.The rest of his armour was made of unknown material.The armour was coloured in a drak shade of purple.The eye part was coloured crimson red.

Back on the ship RC3 is boarding a shuttle to get to the planet.Everyone on the ship told her not to go.Even the pilot refused to fly her down there.She ended up sending the pilot to her private torture chaimbers,then she used her magic powers to fly down.She travelled 1500 kilometers in 10 seconds.She came just to hear him say the final words of the phrase.

General Pavle “I WHO SHALL AWAKEN AM THE EMPEROR THAT FELL FROM THE VOID’S GRACE.I AM THE ONE WHO BRINGS  JUDGEMENT.I AM THIS DIMENSIONS FRST EMPEROR.I CAME TO SHOW THAT  I AM STILL ALIVE,AND NOW BY THY LAW I SHALL SEND YOU TO THE DEPEST SECTOR OF MY PURGATORY.A PLACE WHERE LIGHT DOSENT SHINE,A PLACE WHERE DEATH DOSENT SHOW UP,A PLACE WHICH THE GODS DONT DARE MENTION.A PLACE WHERE ONLY THE VOID LORD CAN ROAM.AND MY PERSONAL REALM.FOR I AM INTURION PRIMUS”.

A purple light started to shine.The rebels started to run.The entire camp with their titans headed to the “Inturion free heaven”.On the frontline the fighting stoped,RC15  gotten out of her tent to see what is happening and then she saw the light.She muttered “I...inturion”.As the look on her face turned from a happy smile into an expression of fear,a fear she never had before now.She rushed to the sight where the light was seen.

The camp site is coloured in red,Pavle is no where to be seen,same as RC3,a distress call was sent to other RC’s.25 kilometers from the sight a battlefield coloured red with blod.Blod from both the imperial and rebel soilders.Pavle stands coloured in red,on a plain that he created after he cut a moutan into air.He said “Your officiali welcome to the land of the f***ed”.RC3 stood behind him,shocked at the power he has,a single rebel soilder comes out of the ground,he had to move the bodies of his fallen comrades just to get out of the trench that was turned into history.The soilder screamed “IS THAT ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY,AFTER YOU DID ALL OF THIS,DID YOU NOT HAVE PEAPLE YOU CARED FO..”the soilder was stoped by pavle teleporting  26 meters from him,pointing his spear at him.Pavle screamed”i had,they were killed by men like you.AND MY BOSS RC15 INSULTED THEM AND TOLD ME TO GO ON.SHE KEPT ON INSULTING THEM AND ME TILL 200 YEARS AGO I ALMOUST KILLED HER.DO YOU UNDERSTAND”.The soilder looked at him with frear,sorrow,and a feeling of anger,yet there was sorrow.Pavle told him “I shall grant you mercy,i shall send you to the void lord,you don’t deserve hell”.Then the rebel soilder just disappeared.RC3 saw that and she started to show human emotions.RC15 arrived by that time,it took her a full minute to fly 2500 kilometers.

Red lights lighted the sky above Pavle,he smiled behing the helmet.He then asked “So shall we finish this then”.he asked looking at RC15.She smiled and responded “This shall end in your death”.As she said that a giant laser came from space,the laser was the size of a small village.RC15 smiled and said over the communications “Its good to se you arrived RC2.Oh RC 5 and RC 10 are here too??”.

As she said that Pavle came out off the blast with a scratch on his hand wich he used to absorb most of the blow.He LITERALY took the magic out of the attack and used it to power his defense.

General Pavle “NOW I AM MAD.PAVLE SMASH”

RC 15,RC 3,RC 2,RC 5,RC 10 “NANI??”

General Pavle “LIMIT BREAK”

Stitches “Hello there”

General Pavle “GENERAL KENOBI”

Stitches “I AM NOT KENOBI YOU PEACE OF SHIT”.

Stitches attack Pavle with a blade of pure red.Pavle barely dodges it.He then screams “LET ME FINISH THIS DAMIT”

Stitches “NO YOUR GOING A BIT TO FAR.YOUR RUINING THE STO..I MEAN THE PLANET,YOU KILLED SO MANY OF BOTH OUR AND REBEL MEN.”

General Pavle “LET...ME...HAVE....MY REVENGE”.As Pavle said that his body started to shape-shift to more of an dragon than a human.As the transformation was happening he screamed “I AM A DRAGON AND AS A DRAGON I SHALL FIGHT”.

Stitches wastes no time attacking Pavle.Pavle manages to dodge all of Stitcheses sword slashes.Stitches tried to slash him 35 times in a fraction of a second.Pavle then proceded to counter by faking a kick,just to punch Stitches in the face and to send him flying about a kilometre back.Pavle then proceded to say “I AM A LION AND I WANT TO BE FREE.DO YOU SEE THE LION WHEN YOU LOOK INSIDE OF ME...LION’S BLADE I CALL UPON THY”.Stitches got up and said “THAT SON OF A B****”.Then he ran 1kilometer in a second,barely managing to hit Pavle’s hand. Which was enouf to push Pavle 50 meters and to trow his sword 2 kilometers away”.Pavle then said “I TOLD YOU TO LET ME KILL THAT BI***”.Richa...i mean Stitches replied with “SHUT UP WE HAVE THE SAME POWER,IF YOU RLY WANT TO DO IT THEN YOU HAVE TO BEAT ME,AND I DONT WANT TO CLEAN YOUR SHIT.LIKE LITERALY”

Then Stitches screamed “STOP OR I WILL HAVE TO END THIS ENTIRE S*** HERE.I HAD FUN TOO YOU KNOW”. As he said that he punched Pavle in the head,then he did a back flip while also hitting Pavle with one foot in the manly bits and the other foor hit him in the head.Pavle then screamed in pain from the kick in the b****.

General Pavle “CMON MAN YOU TOO.WHAT WILL THIS BECOME A RUNNING GAG”.

RC 3 “Is it just me or does everyone not know what is happening”

Fives “HIS CRINGE LEVEL IS OVER 9 THOUSAND”

General Pavle “Wait a sec  Stich”.As he said that he teleported behind Fives and put his hands infront of his eyes and said “GUESS WHO”.

Fives responded with “MEDIC”.Which got Stitches angry cause he came into a fight to tell a joke and then called for a medic when he got into truble.Then he said “I WONT LET YOU KILL HIM.I ALREDY HAVE ENOUF WORK”.

General Pavle “Wrong and now THY SHALL DIE”.As he said that he snaped Fives’s neck.After that he jumped back,and said “WILL YOU LET ME FINISH NOW”.

Stitches “YOU CAN CS:GO GO TO HELL”.

General Pavle “CMON MAN NOT THA....”.As he said that he triped on a stone..agen.

General Pavle “NOT AGEN..”

He fell down into a trench  and hit his head on a bayonet.Then RC3 said “Do you ever get that feeling of DEJA VU”.

General Pavle/Stitches  “CMON YOU TOO”.

RC 3 “What?? I just said i got a feeling of seeing something before”.

RC 1 “Lets get this over with.”.

Stitches “Il let you handle this.I promise not to interfear”

General Pavle “I think its not neded.I am on the limit of going into another 200 year coma.But i might as well take that b**** out “

RC 15 “WHO DO YOU CALL A B*********”

She tries to summon the chains.But failes due to the loss of mana.After Pavle sucked her mana and the mana of RC 5,RC 2 AND RC 10.

General Pavle “OK THIS IS LIKE 2 GODS FIGHTING WITH STICKS.”

Stitches “You know we used to much jokes.YEAH IM BREAKING THE 4TH WALL DEAL WITH IT.DEAL WITH IT!!!!.What overused joke can we put here.”

General Pavle “WAIT NOOOOOOOOOO”

Stitches “DO YOU KNOWS WHAT THE EMPERORS FAVORITE DRINK”.HE LAUGHED

EVERYONE “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO”.

Stitches “ITS MAUTAN-DEW IT”

General Pavle”I AM DONE WITH THIS SHIT.I CANT TAKE IT.YOU RUINED THE ENTIRE THING.IF WE ARE DOING THAT THEN WE MIGHT AS WELL MAKE US  RED COAT LEADERS”

Stitches “DID YOU NOT READ THE ORIGINAL BOOK”

General Pavle “THERE IS NO BOOK.YOU DID NOT EVEN FINISH IT”

Stitches gives him an USB stick with the story.Pavle procedes to say “TO HELL THY SHALL GO”.As he said that the USB burns into ash.

General Pavle “WHERE IS YOUR STORY NOW”.

Rich...I MEAN Stitches sais “ YOU VOT M80 I HAVE 9 THOUSAND OF THESE.BRING IT ON”

General Pavle “Isnt that to low”

Stitches “I actually have 4 Million.I just had to do the cringy joke”

General Pavle “FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU”.

Pavle goes into a come becose Stitches ruined his mood.Now since i have to sinc my timeline with his i will say he had a bit.NOW F*** YOU RICHARD FOR RUINING MY CANNON.

Stitches “4TH WALL BREAKING TIME”

General Pavle “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO”

Stitches “Now i made all of the too much anime like sh** non cannon for the main time line but there is INFINATE TIMELINES.”

General Pavle “STILL F YOU”.

Stitches “WE HAVE NO OFFICIAL CANNON WE ARE LIKE RICK AND MORTY WE HAVE MULTIPLE TIMELINES BUT THERE IS NO MAIN CANNON”

General Pavle “ F YOU FOR THAT “

Stitches  “STOP USING ANIME REFRENES.THIS STORY  NOT A MANGA ITS NOT A ANIME.”.

He got PTSD from the anime.also F**** the writer.

                                    2 IRL Weeks laters

*Doors explode* Peaple with red masks looking like the youtube logo break the 4th wall and the wall of the room we were joking at.

Youtube “ COPYRIGHT OPEN UP.WE ARE TAKING OVER.YOUR UNDER ARREST FOR ABUSING COPY RIGHT LAWS.”

Stitches “ I ONLY DID ONE RICK AN”

Youtube soilders shoot Stitches and say “SHUT THE F UP.NO NAMING THE SERIES”

General Pavle “YOU ACTIVATED MY MEMECARD.”

Youtube Soilders “NANI”

General Pavle “CO-WRITER PROBLEM.I SENT YOU THE ENTIRE STORY AND NOW YOU NEED TO READ IT TO DEATH”

Youtube Soilders “FUUUUUUUUUUUU”

General Pavle “OK LETS FINISH THIS BIT”

Stitches “Ok but i still get to do the trap card joke”

General Pavle “NOOOOOO”.

Stitches makes a cute cat face

General Pavle “FINE...Y0U WIN”

Stitches “ Pavle out of story F**** YOU FOR FORCING ME TO DO THAT...”

                    Back to the story

General  Pavle “WELL NOW THAT WE FINISHED BREAKING THE WALL”

RC 3 “what wall???”

General Pavle/Stitches “WE ARE NOT EXPLAINING IT”

Stitches “But i coud do a deapool joke here”

General Pavle “No i am wriing this so i say no.NOW “

Pavle starts smiling at Stitches and has a look on his face that sais “ITS MEME TIME”

General Pavle “ITS TIME TO MURDER THIS TRACK”

Stitches “DONT”

Pavle charges into Stitches and stops moving all of a sudden

Stitches “YOU ACTIVATED MY TRAP CARD”

General Pavle “NOOO DONT DO IT”

Stitches “THE ROCK MEME”

Pavle trips on a rock and slides on the blood of the rebels hitting his Manly bits onto a Red coat that had her foot up.HE WENT FROM THE SPEED OF LIGHT INTO 0 WITH ALL OF THE IMPACT BEING CONTAINED IN HIS MANLY BITS AFTER HE ACCIDENTLY SLIDES ONTO A RANDOM READ COATS SHOES.WICH HAVE SMALL SPIKES AT THE BIT WHERE THE FINGERS ARE AT

General Pavle “I..hate...you”

General Pavle “I AM GOING TO WHIPE THIS PLANET CLEAN FROM THE SH*** STAIN YOU CALL THE RC’S”

RC  1 “Shut the f** up.If you stop i will give you my home made Palacinka.”

General Pavle “DEAL”.

Stitches “Your THAT easy to bribe”

General Pavle “SHUT UP.”

Stitches “WAIT DONT”

Stitches “DONT YOU DARE”

General Pavle “IN SERBIA YOU DONT BRIBE WITH MONEY”

General Pavle “YOU BRIBE THEM WITH PANCAKES”.

Pavle stood up.He sent his spear back to its realm.

General Pavle “But let me send RC15 to the realm of the F****ed for about 2 weeks aka the time i am likely to be in coma for.Also Richard.THANKS FOR THE PAIN OF GETTING STABED IN THE **** OVER 7MILION TIMES”.Then pavle fired a portal shot into RC15 he missed...then he fired agen.and AGEN he missed,then he fired 2 more shots and missed both.then he ran out of bullets,he had a poscicle and then passed out from losing his powers.BUT ONLY THEN he accidentally shot a reserve round and hit RC15 and sent her to the realm of the f***ed.

Pavle woud end up being unconcius for 2 Weeks.Stitches ate all of his pancakes,and said a few flity like thing to RC1 without realising it.When Pavle heard that happened he sent Stitches to the realm of the f****ed for 2 weeks and returned RC15 just to tell her.

General Pavle “IF I EVER SEE YOU AGEN YOU WILL BE STUCK IN THE REALM OF THE F***ED FOREVER”.

                           END OF CHAPTER 2.AND PART 1 OF THE STORY.

Timeline and the creation of the universe : Richard Mann

Writing the current story : Pavle “Fredfox”.

All characters here were eather made from real peaple or got the names from real peaple.And cause some characters do some stupid or sadistic stuff it dosent mean they are like that IRL.This is an overexaturated and Comedic F you and a good story that i just wrote my take on and added a few names to un named characters.There will probably me more.I hope some one actualy reads this

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

Doctor Snoop Dogg

I hereby declare this to you.

Kid Rock wrote it for all of us.

Here is this story.

Kenny Rogers was a human sex trafficker.

He attempted to rape me 36 times. Alex was gonna take him out. I said "this isn't a job for you because you're my husband. It makes it unqualified for war"

"Is it snoop then?"

"If he's a black man Then I say he's qualified."

"Well I'll tube him"

"Tell him to bring the Black Panthers. NYC, Chicago and New Orleans"

"Why that many?"

"Because it hurts so much"

"There's children involved isn't there?"

"More than one. I need the Black Panthers from San Diego, too. San Fran to take mother on the children"

"You want the wives of them all?"

"Sisters too. And maybe a few cousins"

"How many are there babe?"

"4 million. I'm sorry I expect not to sob but I need the Black Panthers in a bad way. Does he know them all?"

"I'll call your momma"

Y'all don't see Roy Rogers Fried Chicken restaurants anymore. There's two on the entire planet and they're banned for social life. Just a store front. Empty and void of human life.

But it was at one of those counters we sat. When Snoop came in "is he the one?" Angry. So angry. I was scared for myself. And i heard a girl yell "sista come on tell the truth. Get up on that counter and spat it!"

I knew then it wasn't Harlam on a field trip I didn't move my eyes from snoops "kitty?"

"Meow" and some dogs growling and all that.

"Okay ill get up. Yes,snoop he is the one" i got up and stood hugged him and slid behind him my back against the wall. "Kill Snoop. Its alright I got you"

He grabbed ole Kenny Rogers up by the neck. Kenny G ran over and started beating him.

All that day. Like a pinata snoop Dogg held him up by his neck and every one beat him to his death.

I did climb up on the counter and tell the truth.

Kenny G brought Kenny Rogers back to life. And we tied him to the back of a car with a big yellow bow and dragged him up and down the street in NYC.

Times Square 4 blocks away. Healed him did it again with a megaphone to say why. In Times Square. Madison Square Garden.

Kenny Rogers stopped raping. The stopped human trafficking for sex reasons.

When i caught him again for doing it for factory work. We Sat at the same exact seats. I pointed to his blood that never been cleaned.

"Its just cause them nasty niggers. Tell them to leave me alone!!"

"I did. I did in fact. Now I just want to know are you prejudiced. And against what color"

"Tan unless it's from a tanning booth. Pretty much anything except the white snd then there i don't like the women"

I got on my knees atop a stool, 2 stools away "I need Any one to leave that is not white. But is tanned too dark of a color especially naturally born wide and all women to please leave immediately. Then i need a refill on my drink here"

They did. "Oh man! You got alot of power! I knew you would protect them -- i mean Me. Me."

"Snoop you gotta go."

"But I'm tall and i can do it"

"Andre the Giant are you here??" He came around the corner all dressed in white. Hugged Snoop. "Im tanning bed brown and he here is my nigga. Thank you my brother you are relieved. Please go,stand where you are protected"

Kenny Rogers said a lot of shit. I ordered up Snoop some food. "Snoop when you finish go to the window. You'll be alright. You may need to go outside though and watch from the outside in. You'll be protected though. I know you didn't see them but i got Black Panthers all up and down the row. Its time for the white people to show we won't put up with this man"

Snoop choked on his chicken. He started laughing so hard. "Man i really did need my momma" i thought mostly to myself

"Yes you did!" Said snoop wiping his hands on a towel.

"Ok you're here now. I'll cue you in when he really starts to get racist. Momma send to send you out for a dark surprise"

His grin was so big and happy I had to steal a little in a hug because it was deep inside him where the peace laid.

"Momma said you can't cry. Don't hug too long or you will" reminded Alex.

Long story short... The whites killed Kenny Rogers. Dragged him up and down the street.

Kenny realized his death. He saw all the Black people had trash he had to clean off their tables. Or none. All the whites did Too.

When we took him out side all the whites lined the streets and did nothing.

And now all the blacks were lined up and prepared to not save him.

He yelled "no!" And went to run. Andre the Giant snapped his neck up. "I thought you weren't black!"

"Every one is. Don't you know? Ever since Venetian times. So hello."

When he became super racist and belligerent. Saying nigger nigger nigger.

"He must want a teacher of ancient times. Andre please halt the hositilites of a Good White Human. Call in the niggers to help teach a lesson on love and human compassion and most of all indefinite self respect"

I looked to Snoop and with my deep throat growl "BRING IN THE NIGGERS FROM AFRICCCAAAAAAA!"

And started a chanting love song from all the whites. They beat on the tables as drums.

"NIGGERS from Africcaaa!"

I stomped up to Kenny Rogers on his stool and spun him around "come beat a Nigga from Africa. Come beat a Black Pantha"

"Oh i know i will"

I bitch slapped him So hard. His soul popped out his body.

Every one was shocked.

"Hey you got them grills and fryers open?" I asked Chef Snoop. "How about them chocolate balls"

"Yes!!! No!!!"

"Thank you"

And i sat. Every one was confused. Even my momma.

"I said I can't let them fight again. Tell them to come on in for dinner"

Momma looked old "hey momma. We ain't eating chicken this time. Hey old Snoop. Fry this "man" and i use that term loosely on up"

Momma laughed and smiled. "I guess I'll get them collard beans"

"Hey i want you to come down here and get into your new body and say "nigger" with a lot of hate. That's what makes you taste best you know"

Momma heard from the door and stopped to watch. I let Andre the Giant slap him. Andre when he did. He slapped him into bite size pieces!!!"

I never saw my momma look so happy in all my life. And so young and fresh.

"Im next right after i get my collard! Its timing to celebrate!!"

I turned in my stool. "I know snoop. Its gonns be a long time from now but if we can get this one to stop then,we can get them all and don't have to fight and kill. But hey if this don't work. Momma find a new way. This i promise you and I'm that momma bird. Now why don't you get around there in this ole kitchen and get to frying?"

Because he was crying and sobbing tears of joy.

So two will and Roy Rogers restaurants remain in NYC. 1 in Harlem for the niggers and one where we together as whites and blacks saved many people and temporary stopped world human trafficking.

Until George Bush got together with Patsy Cline and Donald Trump and started it all over again.

This is Kid Rock showing you all the places and ways kidnappers affected us humans.

And kid rock telling YOU don't worry about it. Its you Humans living that matter that he loves.

This is for all our Humans dead and alive.

God bless us one and all. I think I'm gonna open up a can of collard greens. Think about my momma a bit and listen to this song.

The rest of you can watch the very violent death of Kenny Rogers.

Children, too. It won't hurt them. It will actually take away allot of the pain they have in their heart.

Its true and real history and there's a blooper reel of us all bumping into the camera tree instead of commercial to lighten the load of the mind and soul.