💋 original nine team members for conner. 👀
SEND “💋” AND MY MUSE WILL SAY HOW SMOOCHABLE YOUR MUSE IS FROM 1-10 || Accepting
"This is so many people. Okay. I'd give myself a two but to some people I am a strong three. I am not very good with people, emotions or kissing. It would be a one but wolf brings me up a point."
"Kaldur gets a ten I think he has nice lips I think he'd be good at kissing. He's probably the best pick out of all of us let's be real."
"Dick gets a six but only because I'm sick of hearing the word whelmed."
"Wally gets a nine and a half. He knows what he did. "
"Artemis is getting a ten and the half a point that belongs to wally. She's great. She's my favorite member and I mean that with my entire chest."
"Zatana gets a five not because she's not pretty, she's very pretty I just don't like magic."
"Will get's a seven it was going to be six but being a clone brings him up a point."
"Raquel is getting an eight she's fun, she's impulsive."
"Okay pretty sure that's everyone if you were left out you just didn't make the cut sorry."
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tpil snippet bc why not: both tim and korvin are wack as fuck but kon's the only one that actually points it out
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versus everyone else dancing around the subject or not wanting to cast stones in glass houses 😬
later scene where korvin & tim are bullying simulating "what-if" scenarios w kon
“Everyone makes me out to be some—whatever. ‘Con-tin-gen-cy,’” Korvin emphasizes. “And it shouldn’t be one, because how is this not obvious?” He clicks his tongue and sighs with disgust. “Oh well, it’s our little exploit now.”
That’s what Kon means with the sideways thing—how Korvin thinks that it’s to Kon’s advantage that no one’s made him train without his powers; but really, he should be better at surviving without his powers. And, of course he’ll do Kon the favor of putting him through every convoluted iteration of a meat grinder, for Kon to reach Korvin’s expectations of performance as the man studies him like a bug and tells him indulgently, “You’re very welcome, Conner.”
“Someone who’d do this to you…expects you to be at their mercy. They’ll be complacent and pay for it”—his cool fingers are blissful against Kon’s face and jaw— “giving you one fighting chance.”
Whereas Tim will do the still-deranged but easier-to-follow thing of probably cloning Kon or science-necromancing him should he perish in an ignoble death. Neither of them need to ask, Tim has them covered—redundant DNA samples slyly collected on the reg, securely stored and hidden where he can’t be reproached for having them. And since saving him and Bart, Tim has hoarded wacky biotech equipment confiscated through their missions under the guise of “novelty” and “a hobby.”
Both Bat Boys have their own ridiculous way of showing how much they care. Kon loves them.
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@ladyintree / mikayla desousa and love have never been compatible, a fact she's known, grown up with, for as long as she could remember. her mother never gave her the chance to love her as a child, leaving before mikayla could even form a single memory of her, and her father grew to hate her instead— and even later on, she was taught that she was wrong for who she loved, nearly blinded for it, until it was ingrained in her that it was not allowed, that she would be forced to fake it her entire life, rather than let herself have what she really wanted.
and what she wanted was taissa— mikayla couldn't place when it started, exactly, but the longing was there for as long as she could remember. she ignored it as best as she could, choosing to hate her instead, deeming that as the safest option. until the plane crashed, and she was left to face her feelings, with no real place to run. and for some time, her perspective on love shifted; out there, it felt like something obtainable. like something she could keep, even though deep down, she knew that was just wishful thinking. it kept her alive out there, fueling her even when they had nothing to eat, even when it was so cold that her entire body ached. it was manageable, because she had tai. if she had tai, she could face anything, survive anything—
but then she lost her. the last real memory she had once they were rescued was pressing taissa's necklace back into her hand, her entire body trembling, because she couldn't keep it, not when she would be forced to face her father again. she would see her again, would find her again, as soon as she was safe— but safety came a month later in the form of his death, caused by her own hands, leading to her arrest. finding tai wasn't an option, so instead, mikayla waited for her to come instead, trusting that she would, that taissa would know she needed her, especially then.
that never happened. not during her time in prison, not after. once again, she was alone, without love, without anything to hold on to, having no choice but to grovel at her mother's doorstep for help, because if tai wanted to provide that for her, then she would have been there. having her mother in her life did nothing to help her self esteem, not when she knew aphrodite was only there out of obligation, guilt. none of it was real, the same way none of her father's love was ever real, despite the way he'd hugged her in front of the cameras, as if he cared that she was back home, as if he hadn't been praying for her death.
the only way to cope with losing tai was by convincing herself that their love wasn't real, either. mikayla knew hers was— there was no possible way to convince herself otherwise, but the longer she went without a single word from taissa, a single sign that she cared at all, the easier it was to believe that maybe tai's love wasn't real. that mikayla was just convenient, that there wasn't an abundance of options for taissa in the wilderness. and worse, that tai knew mikayla would kill for her, that she used that for her own survival, and once they were rescued, tai no longer needed her. the moment taissa had more options, the moment she was safe, mikayla meant nothing to her— it took years to convince herself of that, because for the longest time, it felt impossible that taissa didn't feel the same, that the love that kept mikayla alive could possibly one-sided.
but if tai loved her, where was she?
and so mikayla convinced herself she moved on. it took an embarrassingly long time, spending an entire decade hoping that tai would change her mind, even after learning of her engagement, her eventual marriage. but ten years of silence was finally enough to finalize it for her: taissa never loved her, she was never coming back, and mikayla had no choice but to move on. the absense was still there, but she no longer thought about why— likely because she didn't have to, the same way she didn't have to think about why she had the scars on her face, the scars on her hands. it became a part of her, that absence, and the ache that was once overbearing was now nothing more than mere background noise. there, but drowned out, so long as she didn't pay any attention to it.
meeting calypso helped distract her from it for a while— mikayla would be lying to herself if she claimed that the woman was anything like she imagined she'd end up with, because that was always taissa, but she convinced herself it was better. she was beautiful, she was kind, and most importantly, she loved mikayla. she would never know the entirety of mikayla, not when she couldn't talk about her time in the wilderness, not when she didn't want to talk about her father, but somehow, calypso managed to do what nobody else could and loved mikayla anyway, despite all her flaws. she never pushed, she never questioned her, and above all, she was disgusted when mikayla told her vague details about the love she had in the wilderness, the way that the first (the only) person she'd ever loved had felt absolutely nothing and discarded her the moment she wasn't needed. mikayla felt validated, for the first time in over ten years, and she could convince herself it was enough. she mistook the comfort, the safety net, that calypso provided for love. she knew that it was nothing like she felt for tai, but she didn't want to feel that way ever again— she didn't want to give the entirety of herself to anyone else ever again, only to realize she wasn't enough, she wasn't worthy of love. what she felt for calypso was safe.
so when misty told her about tai having a kid, it only made sense to marry calypso in response. she'd expected her to reject her proposal, to do what everyone in mikayla desousa's life had done before and rip their love away, but she said yes. and yet there was no happiness found in it, no sense of relief, because all she could think was that, somewhere out there, taissa was happy with someone else, building a life with someone else, meanwhile mikayla was left trying to catch up. they had a beach wedding, mikayla's last attempt at trying to pull a reaction out of tai, if she was paying any attention at all, but nothing happened, and so mikayla stopped thinking about her— she did her best to put as much of herself as she could into her work, her marriage, into anything but the only woman she'd ever loved, because she couldn't have that. because she never loved her back.
she'd convinced herself she could lead a decent life without taissa, because everything was working for a while. she was successful, though only with the help of her mother, she was married, she was loved. it should have been enough, but it never was, not really. at the end of the night, mikayla would still go to bed with the same emptiness she'd felt since her arrest, the overwhelming feeling that something was missing. and so when natalie called, it's not surprising that she didn't think about every single reason she shouldn't return to new jersey, because the idea of coming back made her feel something again— she told herself it was all for nat, because she cared about her, because there was an understanding between them that formed during childhood, an unspoken bond between two girls with fathers who didn't love them, who only damaged them instead, bound together by trauma even before their plane crashed years later.
it had to be for nat, because it couldn't be for taissa.
she'd thought she was healed, that she was over it, but seeing tai again had reopened the wound, had made her realize that it never healed at all, and instead, it was left infected, because she did nothing to actually treat it, hoping it would go away on it's own. even then, she did everything she could to ignore it, avoiding looking at her, although it did nothing to help, because it hurt anyway— hurt even more knowing that she was the only one to feel it, suspecting that nat and shauna were looking at her with pity, because they knew better and somehow, she hadn't.
mikayla should have rejected the ride from taissa, because she'd rather walk miles in the dead of night than deal with being alone with her for the first time in over twenty years, but her pride stood in the way— saying no would be admitting that she was still hurt, and she couldn't give tai that satisfaction, not when she already took so much from mikayla already. and so, in the passenger seat of tai's range rover, she's left to regret every single choice that's lead her here, wishing she'd just gone after natalie instead, that the fear of rejection didn't have such a chokehold on her still.
the silence between them is suffocating, because there's so much to be said, but mikayla doesn't know how to bring up any of it. she doesn't feel allowed, feeling like everything she'd wanted to say to her in the last twenty years means nothing, because tai doesn't care. in an attempt to ground herself, she looks down at her hands in her lap, right hand twisting her wedding ring around her finger, although reminding herself of calypso's existence does nothing to help, because mikayla feels like she's bleeding out from the inside, and the only person that ever made her feel better about anything is the very same person causing her this much pain in the first place. and she doesn't even care.
there's a lot she wants to ask about: tai's hand, if she's okay; the election, her marriage, how none of what they had in the wilderness meant anything to her, but mikayla doesn't know how. she needs to act like she's over it, like tai's abandonment didn't make her question her self worth all over again. “ we shouldn't have let her walk home alone, ” she says finally, choosing to focus on nat instead— the concern is genuine, which helps, especially since she knows what it feels like to lose the person you love, to be left with absolutely no answers. “ she needs someone right now, and we just— ” let her go, but too late, mikayla realizes how it almost sounds like she's talking about herself, trying to stand up for the version of her from twenty-three years ago, alone in her prison cell, left with nothing.
she doesn't want to, because she knows it's going to be like a knife to the chest, but mikayla forces herself to finally look at tai, to act like it isn't the most painful thing she's done in years. “ it might be easy for you to not give a shit, but— she has to be desperate, if she called all of us. ” she wishes that natalie hadn't, that she would have taken just a second to consider what she would be doing to mikayla by bringing her back here, with her, but she understands what heartbreak does to a person, how it blinds them to everything else. as much as she wants to be, she can't be mad. not at her, at least.
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her breaths are still labored as she descends down the ladder, worsened by the sight of lottie's face, because all she can think about is all the times she looked similar to that. not nearly as bad, of course, not because he didn't want to, but because he couldn't explain it as easily as he could a black eye or a broken arm. most of the others are too shaken to notice, thankfully, but of course, tai notices— too late, it feels like, because mikayla already managed the worst of it on her own upstairs, but admittedly, she's surprised that @ladyintree is paying any attention to her at all.
“ shouldn't you be checking on shauna? ” she means to sound resentful, but she's too tired to sound anything but miserable. since the blizzard, she's felt disregarded, unimportant, except for whenever tai suddenly needed her— something she's far too used to with her father, but not with her, which is why it cuts so deep. a part of her is understanding, knowing that what shauna went through is far worse than just the anxiety of almost losing the only person mikayla's ever loved, but she's still mikayla: still selfish, still dramatic. she's been distancing herself for days, only speaking to check on tai, nothing more, because she knows herself, knows how easy it is for her to lash out when she's hurt, something she's trying desperately not to do here.
but she's less worried about that now, because she's too exhausted to blow up in the typical mikayla desousa fashion; what little energy she had all drained out of her during her panic attack moments ago, leaving her with nothing to fight with, even if she wanted to. “ i think i'm going to check on javi, ” she mumbles, just using it as an excuse, because it's unnecessary— he should be fine, because travis took him away before it got bad, but for once, mikayla doesn't want to focus on herself.
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