#very clever quiz. wish more were like this

[nevsdoll]

PART 2 PLEASE IM BEGGUNG

bad grade pt.2 | professor longbottom

neville longbottom x fem!reader

summary! y/n isn't satisfied with her grades being better because all she wants is the one who writes them - PART 1

warnings; NSFW +18 SMUT! | PROFESSOR X STUDENT !!! | vulgar vocabulary, cheating, "degrading" i think, vaginal sex... (lmk if i missed any!!)

a/n: THANK YOUUUU I HAD SO MUCH FUN WRITING THE FIRST ONE AND I HAD BEEN WONDERING IF I SHOULD WRITE PART 2 FOR DAYSSSS!!!! i hope you guys like it (⁠๑⁠•⁠﹏⁠•⁠)♡

── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──

two months past since that day at the greenhouse and your grades improved from a zero with a poorly drawn sad face to a eighty with a "well done, miss y/ln" everytime he handed you the results of last written-test.

but even if your grades were better and everyone seemed to be proud of you, you couldn't care less about those numbers.

you wondered if that's what he wanted from you. you wondered if he thought about you all the time like you did with him. you wondered if maybe, just maybe, if yours marks started going down once more, your very loved professor, neville longbottom, would want to touch you help you again.

that day professor longbottom had to give out the results of last quiz. a quiz you purposely wrote the answers wrong. he stepped in front of you handing you the paper. "y/n, i would like to see you at the end of the class." you had been waiting for him to say those words to you, but when it happened you had a bittersweet feeling. he didn't look disappointed he just looked angry. the paper didn't have a sad face drawn, just a zero on top with a overly red dot beside it that indicated he had his pen placed on the same spot for a while.

during the day, your mind was going back and forth on the same thoughts and your hand no longer between your thighs but close to your lips trying not to bite each nail off your fingers in regret on what you had done.

finally, you knocked on the greenhouse door just before entering with a softly "good afternoon, professor". just as last time, his eyes were focused on a plant and your call made him turn.

"good afternoon, y/n. come, sit here..." he sat on a chair next to were he indicated while watching you do as he said. you took a deep breath and opened your mouth with the intention of apologizing. "you know? what i found most interesting is the way your explanations are perfect but then the conclusion is wrong" he looked at you with a serious look.

you played with your hands and started speaking, "i'm sorry, professor, i thought that-"

"i know what you thought, y/n" he said with a dry tone. neville looked at you and took your chin with his fingers, making you rise your face to his. "how is it that a clever girl like you would do something so stupid?" your legs clenched together at those words. slowly, the professor started caressing your cheek.

"please, professor..." your eyes wide open looking at his and your hands almost scratching your thighs. "please, i need you to touch me again..." neville opened his eyes in shock, finally realizing everything he had caused.

he moved his hand away from your cheek and slowly shook his head. "but i can't, y/n, i did that to help you and look at what you did..." he breath out looking at you with those puppy eyes he unconsciously did when he was disappointed. "i can't do that again."

"then, let me touch you..."

"you know that's not what i mean" his dry tone came back and seriousness took over his eyes again. "i shouldn't have done that and it can never happen again... not even if you hadn't done what you've done, i just can't cheat on my wife."

you felt your heart breaking. of course you knew he had a wife, who could "hannah" be if not his wife? but you wished you were wrong. you took a deep breath as your professor looked away, "i promise i won't tell anybody and i will never try something like that again, but please, i need you." he looked at you and shook his head again.

"i can't. not knowing i can't stop thinking about you even though you are my student." you felt your cheeks go warm at the words and without thinking you threw yourself onto him for a kiss. he took you on his arms while fully giving himself to you as he sat you on the table to place himself in front of you, just like last time.

without pulling your lips away from his, you unbottoned his pants while trying to pull them down with your feet, which were basically just rubbing themselves on his buttcheeks clumsily and made him laugh inside the kiss. you pulled away embarrassed. "i'm sorry..." you whispered nervously.

"it's fine" he laughed softly and kissed your forehead. he continued by kissing your lips once more and slowly starting to caress your thighs below your skirt. quickly, he lowered his pants to next completely take off your panties. "are you sure you want to do this?"

"i'm sure." you smiled shyly, playing with the edge of his boxers. you were usually quiet but at this time, you just couldn't wait to take them off. the feeling on your pussy was more than what you could stand. "fuck me, professor." he laughed and kissed your lips once more, making your heart and your lower area to pump even faster. he pulled away and licked his fingers, you just stared at them swallowing nervously, completely desperate and wanting them inside you. he inserted them were you most needed him but you knew it wasn't enough.

he looked at you, knowing what you were thinking, "don't worry, y/n. i just don't want you to get hurt." he smiled and gave you a peck on the lips before taking his fingers from your insides. he lowered his boxers, giving you full sight of erected cock. you gasped in shock. to you, it was huge, but of course, you hadn't seen any other one to compare, so you really didn't know. but it was. it was big.

"is it going to fit?" you asked scared.

"of course it is..." he looked at you, noticing the terrified look on your face. "but don't worry. i'll be gentle." he took you on his arms again and slowly put it inside of you. you gasped again. "does it hurt?"

"a little bit..." you swallowed. "but it's okay. i can take it" he laughed at your response and started softly moving his hips. you closed your eyes. you thought that maybe your professor's dick inside of you shouldn't feel so good... but it did. it felt amazing. you tried not to moan, covering your mouth with your hand.

neville took the hand of in front your mouth. "i want to hear you." even though he just had spoken five words he turned you into a moaning mess. "that's better." your voice basically shoved into your professor's core and he mercilessly increased the pace, letting his voice out too. his low moans were music to your ears.

you melted together, enjoying the fire coming of your souls. at that time, you wondered if you loved him or he was just fucking you so good. how would you love your professor? how could that be? it was probably just the sex. not his plant-green eyes, his peach-toned lips, his soft brown hair, his beautiful growly voice. not the way he passionately taught all his students about the plants and his sweet fatherly personality. it couldn't be that.

your thoughts were interrupted by an upcoming orgasm that made your body feel like it exploded. you screamed and bit your lips scratching neville's shoulders. he smiled and kissed your lips. you smiled back but couldn't bring yourself to say: i love you, professor.

#neville x you #neville longbottom x reader #neville longbottom smut #neville smut #neville longbottom x y/n #y/n #harry potter fanfiction #neville imagine

[loverrrgirl]

KISMET- Austin Butler x Reader - PART 4

I’ve written a few parts ahead and I’m like, very excited for what’s about to happen. If it feels slow right now, GET READY.

Warnings: mentions of car accident, hospital, etc. Fluff for now but will eventually contain smut. I think that’s it, unless you need a warning for Austin subtly asserting his dominance.

I’ve never written a fic before so please leave all the comments and suggestions you have. Be nice to meeeeeee. Do you want the next part????

Here’s part 3

He was still scanning my face.

"I'm sorry, I've over shared." I whispered. The tears were threatening to flood down my face.

"No. No. I asked you and you answered me. I'm just really sorry, that must be really hard. And I wish you weren't experiencing it. If you want to talk about it, I don't have anywhere to be for a while." He said quietly to me. I could tell he was unsure if his small joke was welcome in a time like this. Thankfully for him, humor is my coping mechanism. So I smiled and gave a little nod.

"Thank you for the offer, but I don't think I want to talk more about it right now. I appreciate it though. Instead, why don't you tell me about literally anything. What is your favorite food? And why? This is better than an entire personality quiz. This will tell me everything I need to know" I said jokingly but also not jokingly. I was half serious.

What if his favorite food is bologna???  That would be some sort of deal breaker right?

"Oh wow. No pressure or anything damn." He laughed as the words came pouring out of his mouth. His whole face lit up when he laughed. The way the apples of his cheeks rose up and brightened the room. It really was a sight. "I guess I'd have to choose a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. They're obviously delicious and my mom used to make them for me all the time. A staple"

I smiled. "I get it. PB & J is classic. It's timeless. Thank god your favorite food isn't bologna" I said with wide eyes and a giggle. The thought of that truly disgusted me.

"How about you? What is your favorite food, and why?" Austin reversed my own question on me.

Clever.

Honestly how does a person just choose one favorite food? Just one? I have so many depending on the time of year, the occasion, who's cooking. This was a hard one. "Damn Austin. When I asked you that, I didn't realize you'd be asking me hard questions back." I said as I laughed, embarrassed at how hard it was for me to choose just one favorite food. "I guess if I had to choose one food as an all time favorite, it would have to be tacos."

He cocked his head to the side, and did that thing he does. The one where he rubbed his thumb across his bottom lip like he was trying to buy time before he responded.

"Also a classic. Very versatile, very adaptable. Always exciting. I like your style Stella." He said as he smirked. He was looking right in to my eyes again.

Is he still talking about tacos?

The pilot came on the speaker again. "Hey folks, we're beginning our descent in to Los Angeles. It's a bit gloomy today. Lots of drizzle. A cool 57°. Make sure your seatbelts are fastened and your seats are in their upright positions and your tray tables are closed. Thanks for flying with us. We'll have you on the ground in about 25 minutes"

Wow, that six hours flew by. Time flies when you're having fun or whatever they say.

"What's the first thing you'll do once you're rested? What is your relaxation?" I asked. I always wondered what someone so recognizable did when they needed to unwind.

"I like to go on smaller hikes and take pictures of whatever I want to remember. Sometimes I go to the beach and just walk along the sand so I can think in peace. Who knows? I might just stay home and soak in the quiet, see a few friends, eat some of my favorite food." He said, staring off a little bit. Like he was imagining himself in his happy place. I was so glad he was going to get to do that.

"Honestly that sounds like a dream. I hope your staycation is just as relaxing as you want it to be Austin." I smiled thinking about the way his cheeks lit up when he smiled at something that made him truly happy.

"Is your mom picking you up?" He asked hesitantly.

"Oh, no. I'm going to take an Uber. I don't want her to have to leave the hospital. It's about a 45 minute ride, not too bad" I said as the plane started to get bumpy on descent. I hate this part too. I grabbed the arm rest once again so I didn't become unraveled. I closed my eyes, pretty much forgetting I was in the middle of a conversation entirely.

I felt Austin grab my hand and I wasn't about to argue. I was trying not to shake. After about 3 minutes, the air was smooth again.

"Sorry, again. I wish it wasn't so paralyzing" I said, removing my hand from the equation.

"I don't mind. I'm glad to help, even if it's just a little bit. I'd really like to drive you to the hospital if that's okay? I don't want you to have to ride with a stranger when you're going to do something really hard." He insisted.

"Aren't you kind of a stranger, Austin?" I laughed, only half joking.

"Well, sort of. But at least we've been talking for the past 6 hours. If you really want to Uber that's fine, but I would feel more comfortable if you didn't have to ride with a complete stranger." He bit his lip again.

Is this conversation making him nervous? Something else?

Normally, I'd have said no. He seemed genuinely concerned about me getting in a car with someone I didn't know. He seemed concerned with my safety, but also my feelings. Oddly enough, I felt much more comfortable riding with him than I would in an Uber. I felt comfortable with him. Peaceful even.

"Is your driver going to be okay with that? Taking an entirely extra drive?" I asked, trying to convince him that I'd be fine.

He laughed.

He laughed right at me. What's so god damn funny?

"I don't have a driver while I'm in town. I prefer to drive myself. My car was dropped off last night. So the driver of my car, me, certainly does not mind the extra drive." He said but wasn't laughing anymore. He wasn't joking. He does enjoy the mundane things. The simple things in life.

"Well okay then. Sure, I'd like that. Thank you. I hope it's not too far off from your house?" I smiled, feeling kind of excited now that I didn't have to be anxious the entire car ride. Well, at least not as anxious.

"I'm going to my dad's house. Just in Anaheim. It's not a bad drive" he said. And I knew he was lying.

"Austin that's almost an hour away from the hospital. I'm from here too you know, you can't fool me. No. No way." I argued.

"I already said yes. I'm driving." He said. Very matter of fact, with eye contact.

Okay. You're driving I guess.

The plane was about to touch down. He seemed to know I hated that too. It was my most and least favorite part all at once. He grabbed my hand once again. I squeezed it hoping I wouldn't hurt him.

Yeah I doubt it'll hurt him. Have you seen the size of those things?

Touch down.

Thank god.

He put his sunglasses back on. I was suddenly snapped back to the reality that he gets recognized when he goes places. And I really hoped my presence wasn't going to stir anything up for him.

The plane taxied and the flight attendants opened the doors. I was overcome by feeling everything I had in front of me that day. I froze there, not wanting to move towards what was coming.

I felt Austin's hand on the small of my back. It was our turn to get off. "One step at a time. You got this" he said as if he knew I was drowning inside.

One step at a time.

#austin butler #austin butler fanfiction #austin butler fluff #austin butler smut #austin butler x reader #austin butler elvis #austin butler angst #angst with a happy ending

[veritas-in-notitia]

Every time I take the shc quiz I end up wrestling with the questions as I go. I’ve decided to start doing it in writing. At the very least it’s writing practice, and I’ll stop retreading old ground with myself every time. If people in your family or community disagree with you, is it hard to act against their wishes?   Family? Sure. Community? No. Even with people I love, the struggle is usually in them not agreeing with me or me not understanding them. Either prove I'm wrong or see it my way, damn it.

I tend to go along to get along in groups, but that’s not the same thing as community. Also it’s boring, but riling things up isn’t worth it most of the time, and the times it is my spouse usually stops me saying anything (which is ironic, because in every other circumstance he’s a troll. he likes to stir the pot with people he knows as a sign of affection). 

(I’m specifically remembering early covid. He had a dental surgery, and we were both masked in the waiting room. Two other people were not masked. One was across the room on her phone, one sitting quietly near us. The person on the phone loudly and proudly proclaims they have no intention of ever wearing a mask because if “god wants me, it’s my time to go.” My head snapped around so fast I probably should’ve gotten whiplash. My mouth opened -- I have no idea what I was going to say, exactly -- and he stepped on my foot. His reason was he didn’t want to have to fight the person on the phone if they got mad at me. I proceeded to give him a diatribe about herd immunity and basic common decency and empathy while occasionally pointedly looking at the quiet unmasked person sitting near us. And then he got called in for his appointment and I went to sit in the hot but unpeopled car.)

 And the actual *communities* I've been a part of -- no, it's not hard to act against their wishes when I'm in a healthy place because they've all been online communities. When I was much younger and craved -- I don't even know. Attention? Validation? I went from having almost no social life to having one entirely online, and I had no real framework for how to act. I was, like any young teen, equal parts wildly cringe and anxiety to be liked. I wanted to be admired. 

I still do! But for being me, thanks. Okay. Enough ramble. Time to pick an answer... which is tough, because they’re all valid answers to the question. 1 and 2 specifically if I’m thinking about family; 3, 4, and 5 for groups and communities, depending on the context.

Yes, because I care about them. 

I care about my people, but that mostly makes me want to be around them and do things for and with them. It doesn't mean I have to agree with them, though I’d prefer to on important subjects. Whether or not I’d defer to them depends on the person, context, and how important the issue is to me. 

As for community, I care about my communities and their mores, but not like that. They don't define me or my choices.

Yes, because you should listen to other people before you act.

Obviously? I mean, I’m not going to take advice on every topic from every person, but I want all relevant opinions before I act, and several of my people are quite clever. I value their input.

Yes, because I have to live with and around them, and they can make my life more difficult with their disapproval.

I have to live with them: I had SO MUCH fight in me when I was younger. Argue argue argue. Stand my ground. Make a fuss. I can't do that anymore. I discovered my ideal situation is calm. I am ape. Give me fruit and hammock and a source of good vibes. So yeah, I generally try to keep the peace. But I don't think I'd call it a moral imperative. It's just easier.

It might be hard, but I've got to do what I think is right.

I try to always do what I think is right. I’m not always correct about what that is, and my mind can be changed, often by myself. I spend a lot of time arguing with myself. My brain is a very busy place.

No, not at all.

For little things, or even middling things, this is the one. I do what I want, unless it impinges on someone else, in which case I usually adjust slightly. For important stuff, moral/ethical issues, it’s harder, because if I care about someone (= they are my people = they are family), then I’m automatically going to consider their input. Answer: is really hard to pick. Do I pick the Community answer (not at all), or the Family answer (yes, because I care about them)? I’m inclined to pick the Community answer simply because this feels like a Badger-filtering question, which leads me to think Community is what it’s asking about despite the “or family.” (Of course, it does say “people in your” -- so it could mean individuals, not groups. But I’m going with my first assumption, because I’m fully aware that I’m massively overthinking at this point.) So then. No, not at all. Next question: When you’re not sure what’s the right thing to do, what do you turn to?

#notes to self #i am an argument #overthinking r us #maybe i will get through the whole quiz before the hyperfixation fades again #shc

[royalswille]

me in 2017 taking any “which of my OCs in *insert fandom name* are you???” quiz

the result every time:

Your name is Scarlette Leigh Annabelle Taylor, you are 16 years old, your birthday is December 17th and you have long dark hair with blue eyes. You have three older brothers who everyone likes more than you, including your parents. You are very shy and quiet and clever but also very brave and sassy and strong. You are not like other girls because you enjoy reading. Every male character in the series is deeply in love with you but you only like the Bad Boy. Every female character in the series wishes you were dead because you’re so much better than them. Your favourite colour is viridian and your favourite animal is a lion. You are the best in every subject at school, so much so that you are at least two years ahead of the rest of your class academically. You have severe trauma. You are extremely sensitive and cry every time anything ever happens to you. It is ultimately you who saves the day at the conclusion of the series even though it makes no sense. You are a Capricorn.

#ITS ALWAYS THAT EXACT PHOTO. #also i know it’s mostly like 13 year old kids who made these quizzes and were just having fun #not trying to sht on them because I was one of them lmao I had tons of fun making and uploading these quizzes #but I mean come on

[queenlucythevaliant]

I. Gospel

John’s Gospel comes into being in fits and starts. He has all the right words ready, buried in his memory and whispered against the walls of his heart. Yet there is so much to say! John knows that if he tries to write it all, the whole world will not be able to contain the books he will produce.

He followed Jesus, a hillbilly Rabbi with an unremarkable face and kind eyes, from the Sea of Galilee to the crowded streets of Jerusalem to the foot of the cross and beyond. At the time, he could not understand how somehow, this man who woke up with cowlicks in his hair and didn’t even know how to tie a proper knot could be God: the eternal Logos made Sarx.

In the streets and in the hills, people came: the wretched, the dispossessed, the lame and the leprous. The Roman authorities cast uneasy glances in their direction and the Pharisees muttered to each other. John never understood how the attention they drew never seemed to make Jesus doubt. His Master was so certain of the path ahead of him, and John envied him that certainty. He was eager to follow Jesus, but sometimes he still rolled over and met the dawn with an ache of longing for his father and his abandoned boats. His mind and his heart often said different things, and all the while his hands hung fumbling at his sides.

Jesus left no writing behind him except perhaps for what he wrote in the dirt once on the Mount of Olives, if the ground there still bears the impression of his finger. John has to believe it does, that the particulates of dust still reverberate with the touch of their creator. Jesus had stooped before the crowd and pressed words into the dirt. John craned his neck to try to read it, but his vision was obscured by the woman, huddled and weeping and entirely naked. Then Jesus rose up, rebuked the Pharisees’ hypocrisy, and told the woman, “Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more,” and John forgot about the words that Jesus had stooped down to write. He wonders about it now. What did his Master write there? He wishes he knew. There was always power in Jesus’s words.

When Jesus said “I am,” John heard the authority in it. He thought of Moses unlacing his sandals to stand on holy ground and could almost feel the heat of the fire that burned without consuming. Jesus said, “I am the light of the world” with the same voice that had said Let there be light—the same voice that called John and the others “my friends.”

Yes, the Son of God, his friend, had walked beside John on the dusty road and told him secrets of the universe. John listened and considered and asked for more. He didn’t think he had ever been liked by anyone as much as by that strange Rabbi who was kind as often as other men breathed in. Jesus was honest, evenhanded, condemning sometimes, but always kind—and he loved John.

John was certain that Jesus had loved him best. Not with his agape love—that was for everyone, more plenteous than the sea and twice as overwhelming. No, it was Jesus’s phileo love that John prized. He and his Master had the same sense of humor: clever and ironic, with a fondness for wordplay. They would sit together at dinner and discuss the minutia of things they had read: sometimes John would quiz Jesus on the finer points of the Law and the Prophets, but just as often he would ask for opinions on natural philosophy and literary epics. It is those conversations that John misses most now that Jesus no longer walks beside him.

John and Peter had vaguely known each other when Peter had still been called Simon, before any of them were caught in Jesus’s glorious nets. Yet it was Peter who followed Jesus first, Peter who walked on water at Jesus’ command, Peter who first declared him the Messiah. You are THE Christ, THE Son of THE God, THE Living God! Peter had asserted, and oh, how John had envied him his forthright words! Jesus had smiled and declared war on the very gates of Hell that day. John would never forget it.

John and James and Peter had been the three most consistently brought into Jesus’ confidence. It was a precious honor, one John fumblingly recognized even then. They alone saw Jesus clad in a white so bright it made all clouds look like storm clouds, Moses and Elijah like legends made corporeal, everything brightness, everywhere glory. They alone had followed their Lord into Jarius’s house to see what life Jesus brought from believing unbelief.

Private experiences like that made John think that maybe the three of them understood Jesus best, as much as any of them could. There was something that they shared: a special kind of longing for understanding, to grasp the divine with both hands. Of course, this same hunger for glory led them to foolish arguments about who would sit beside Jesus in paradise, but John could tell from the way Jesus laughed at them that he did not hold their foolishness against them.

The last time that Jesus pulled the three of them aside remained with John long after he knew himself forgiven for it. They alone saw Jesus in the garden with smears of red sweat on his palms, begging them to remain awake. Yet they had gone back to sleep. They should have waited together John thought the next day. They should have waited and tried to pray together, and maybe then his friend would not have come to such a lonely end.

His Lord was dead. He had died scourged, asphyxiated, and bleeding alone. What did it matter what anyone said or did? His Lord was dead. They had killed him.

John spent three days trying not to think of the way Jesus had sounded crying, “Eloi, eloi, lama sabachthani?” It was not an easy feat; he had sounded so terrified.

Yet now John has spent several decades trying to articulate the magnitude of that sacrifice and what came next. How many times has he listened to Mary tell the story of that morning, of the man who was not the gardener but their Rabboni returned to life? Once would have been enough to sear her words into his memory forever, but John does not ever tire of hearing them. Yet it was not only Mary who saw him; Jesus was in their midst again, scarcely recognizable but familiar all the same, and words fail even now to convey it but oh, how lovely and joyful they are! How sweet they taste!  How well they nourish!

Jesus gave them fish again. “It is our Lord!” John shouted to Peter, giddy with joy. Peter knew it too and ran ahead. He and James had hauled in the boat, but all the while John had felt like dancing. He remembers following Jesus and Peter along the shore, silent and contemplative as the words of the Gospel began to take shape in his heart. He has carried them there for many years so that he can bear witness now, here.

John considers his words carefully in describing Jesus’s resurrection because he knows that such records as this will persist long after he is gone. His hope must be plain on the page, must be perfectly true, ontologically real. He wonders if he is up to the task of composing such a record.

He is not. But the voice of God is soft but insistent against his heart, and he knows it as truth and blessing. “In the beginning,” writes John, and he wonders how Moses felt writing those same words so many ages ago, whether the stylus felt so heavy in his hand. “In the beginning was the Logos.”

#this will eventually be part one of three #all three are written but the other two need to be revised #a few years ago I studied John's Gospel (student min) Epistles (Bible study) and Revelation (church sermons + personal study) #all more or less concurrently #this was the product #well I mean it was /a/ product #i cannot emphasize how little research went into this #it was purely a creative exercise; not academic and only sort of vaguely devotional-ish #nevertheless i'm quite proud of it #pontifications and creations #wanted to have this done for Easter but didn't have time or energy #now I'm sick with a bad cold and actually had the time to go back to it #leah stories #Bible humans

[rpmemes-galore]

doctor who : martha jones quotes ... sentence starters

“You’re completely mad.“

“Um. Verily. Forsooth. Egads.“

“Wish you carried a gun, now?“

“Well, it’s not human, I know that.“

“I feel like a kid in my dad’s clothes.“

“They think it was all special effects?“

“Just...ever heard of the word ‘rebound’?”

“You don't talk. You never say! Why not?“

“I can see why he likes you. You are good.“

“Oh, she was blonde! Oh, what a surprise.“

“Well then, you shouldn't have married me!”

“Do they know where you are? Your family?“

“I heard the explosion, I guessed it was you.“

“Trust me, just nod when he stops for breath.“

“Bet they’d listen to you. You’re one of the stars.“

“But the thing is, how come you left him behind?”

“If that’s how you still see me, I’d rather stay here.“

“He said, ‘last of your kind’. What does that mean?”

“But are we safe? Can we move around and stuff?“

“As far as I’m concerned you’ve got to earn that title.“

“Oh my god! Hold on, I've got my medical kit inside...“

“I'm not an expert, but I don't think scarecrows knock.“

“It’s like, I know you’re there, but I don’t want to know.”

“That wasn't very clever, running around outside, was it?“

“I can’t believe our lives depend on some stupid pub quiz.“

“I'm sorry, there no heartbeat. There's nothing. He's dead.“

“Besides, you're the one who persuaded me to go freelance!“

“I still don’t understand where that thing came from. Is it alien?“

“Don't just stand there, move! God, you're rubbish as a human!”

“You’ve got a hand. A hand in a jar. A hand. In a jar. In your bag.“

“So, magic and stuff. That's a surprise. It's a little bit Harry Potter.“

“I don’t know. I’ve got a nasty feeling we’re being kept in the larder.“

“You had to, didn't you? You had to go and fall in love with a human.“

“You can just come and go. But some of us have got to stay behind.”

“He's just kind to me, that's all. And not everyone's that considerate.”

“He gave me a list of things to watch out for, but that wasn't included.“

“Well, that's weird, because it looked like you. Have you got a brother?“

“He's brilliant, but he's like fire. Stand too close, and people get burned.“

“I used that to get me here, where I needed to be, when I needed to be.“

“I didn't tell my family. I kept it all so secret, and it almost destroyed them.“

“Oh, you are kidding me. Don’t be ridiculous. Stop looking at me like that.“

“I thought you were going to say he was your secret brother or something.“

“Alright. Well, we’ve already said goodbye once today, it’s best if you just go.“

“Don't you want to know what I was really doing when I was walking the Earth?“

“I'm training to be a doctor. Not an alien doctor, a proper doctor. A doctor of medicine.“

“It's like in the films! You step on a butterfly, you change the future of the human race!“

“They don’t even know where I am, my mom and dad. If I died here, they’d never know.”

“Sometimes I think he likes me, but sometimes I think he just needs someone with him.“

“Time was, every single one of these people knew your name. Now they’ve all forgotten you.“

“I spent a lot of time with you, thinking I was second best. But you know what? I am good!“

“Is that what happens though, seriously? You just get bored of us one day and disappear?“

“You should take more care in the future. And the past. And whatever other time period you find yourself in.“

“The thing is though, am I missing something here? The world didn’t end in 1599. It just didn’t. Look at me, I’m living proof.“

“I told a story. That's it. No guns, no bombs, just words. I told them my story, and I told them to pass it on, to tell everyone they could so that the whole world knew.”

#doctor who quotes #martha jones quotes #rp meme #sentence starters

[imdreaminadream]

The results pt 2 ~ what about it makes you cringe?” Category 3

( - prologue.   - part 1  - category 1  - category 2 )

Okay so this is the results to the question in the quiz, What about it makes you cringe. In reference to the questionnaires core subject about smut fanfics.

Also quick psa there will be a part for the results for the other question -  “In kpop fics, Korean words i.e. jagiya, seem to be a no no, would you like to elaborate why?”

Now note these particular results are going to be split into 3 posts because I decided to split the results into 3 categories. 1 - Writing Aspects. 2 -  Personal Preferences. 3 - Genuine Problems.   >This post is category 3<

TRIGGER WARNINGS FOR MENTIONS OF - rape, minors engaging in sex, child pornography, childhood trauma, unsafe bdsm/kinky sex, misogyny?, toxic masculinity? anything else that needs to be tagged message me so I can add them.

DISCLAIMER BELOW. (please read that before continuing)

This is going to be a long post. The responses were very enlightening but please don’t take this as an attack. Consider this more as constructive cheat sheet to good smut writing or just ignore it if you don’t agree with it. Some of this did a bit deep apricate trigger warnings will be put on the appropriate posts but I’m not sorry it got deep fics can also affect real life as much as we wish it were something that didn’t mix in with real life, it does. I’m no official like sex guru or big-time writer, or what ever BUT I did add little advice underneath each answer, which are just a reflection of the people’s answers. Again if you don’t like the sounds of this don’t take it personal and click off.

Genuine problems

Rape territory - There was a common theme of people commenting about what is essentially edging into rape territory. This was talked about with both sexes, where one expresses, they’re not in the mood but the other just continues to make advances on them until they end up having sex. Everyone who spoke about it mentioned it comes across as coercive or forceful (which would be dubious consent, but I personally know how no one tags it as that because they don’t realize.) something that makes them immediately stop reading and knocks an author’s credit in their eyes. When a character is crying as though they’re not enjoying it, but the sex doesn’t stop and there is not safe word that is used.

No advice for this just use common sense.

Lack of tags which indicate trigger/content warnings - This only came up a handful of times but considering its importance I added it in here to talk about. The comments about it were straight forward as is the topic. Some authors aren’t tagging their work appropriately and it’s actually quite dangerous. You tag your work for a reason to let people know what is involved in it before they read, tagging everything is crucial. If something isn’t tagged you risk the reader, at the very least, the reading but then feeling discontent because it had something in they don’t like to read. Then at the worst you risk people’s mental health, you risk them having panic attacks, anxiety attacks because their trigger was in your fic but they didn’t know because it wasn’t tagged for them to see and know not to read because it could trigger them.

Advice for this is to bold things which you know for sure are sensitive topics, and make sure to tag everything in your damn fucking tag section. You risk people having panic attacks when you don’t tag your work right and they read your work only to find out it has their trigger included in it being blindsided because after reading your shitty tags they didn’t know but you put it in there. Also please don’t just tag smut, tag everything included in that smut because something works are tagged smut and then next thing you know person b is being choked, clothes cut by a knife, restrained with rope, told they’re a slut/whore.

They’re a minor - This also only came up a handful of times, not because people don’t care but probably because they don’t commonly come across it enough however this is incredibly important topic even outside of what about smut makes you cringe. This shouldn’t be a problem, as in it shouldn’t be happening as the people who commented, me and all of you know. They’re a minor, under 18, they’re technically still considered child in the law’s eyes anything sexual about them, like writing smut about them would be considered child pornography. “Things that persons under 18 are prohibited from doing - being depicted in pornographic materials.” No one even cares about “but I’m the same age as them uwu.” It still doesn’t make it right so don’t try and use excuses. Also, the minute a person turns 18 if your first thought is oh, I can write smut about them or request someone to write it for me please just leave that’s like preying on them as though you counted down till they were 18 and now the only value you see in them is for sex.

Mine and everyone else’s advice DON’T FUCKING DO IT.

Also, to note I don’t know what the official rules are for age swapping so like writing an adult person as a minor and depicting them in smut materials, to cope with your trauma, would anyone be open to talking to me about it, like educating me? There has just been this sudden wave more fics being, it’s okay to write adult that I made a child in my fic engaging in sexual content because it helps me cope with my trauma. It just seems everyone’s started saying that and I don’t know how many are being genuine or using it as an excuse or gone with the flow treated it like a trend. Not to be rude just genuinely how legit is this? How many people who write it have genuinely experienced that trauma? P.s if you have experienced that trauma, I am genuinely so sorry and know I am not disrespecting or invalidating your trauma I promise.

Female Characters/misogyny? - Now what this means is everyone expressed how they hate the constant portrayal that it only takes seconds for a female to reach an orgasm and she already wet to go like some kind of tap. They also highlighted a big problem with constantly painting the female as this innocent, dainty, dumb, naïve, shy, small, little girl. Women have brains too; women can give as good as they get and aren’t these shy naïve little playthings. All women have different personalities, the stereotypes about women in fics I’ve seen through the answers, and myself in fics, to my questionnaire is upsetting everyone. And you can see why, is it not bad enough we are subjected to misogyny and stereotyped in real life but now we have to see it in fics too. It genuinely does make people stop reading, it makes them cringe as the answers have suggested. One person mentioned this in their response, and I feel it should also be included, “y/n is absolutely okay with everything being done to her.” This isn’t something we should ever hear. This category feels like the right category to mention it so just consider their words, consider why that makes them cringe at smut writing that includes that.

To everyone the advice is a no brainer when you look at the responses. Make sure that the female character is actually getting turned on like into the mood before even thinking about mentioning that she is wet. And consider that a lot of statistics and personal experiences of other women stating it’s not all that easy to orgasm during sex, and not typical for her to come before the male, so make it sound like it’s worth the female characters while not that they do it for 3 minutes and suddenly she is coming.

Please also STOP with the constant bullshit of stereotyping of women as exampled above. If you like to feel small or submissive or whatever in the bedroom and you express that in your fics I get you but that does not mean you have to portray the female character as dumb, naïve, small, weak like for the love of god spice it up a bit, make her powerful, clever, with personality etc.… being in charge of her own body, knowing about her body, and what she wants and how to get it.

Btw no one is saying it’s not okay to be shy and that before you come in here like “why are you shaming shy, or small girls or dd/lg kink,” it’s not that I can assure you. We’re talking about the stereotype of it that is used to make the women seem more pliable for the man to control essentially not the genuine personalities/kinks people have.

Very passive sub female reader and overly dom male - Now many people spoke how an over macho dom male, and a passive - made out like they’re dumb, submissive female is a dynamic that is making them cringe now. It’s not a dynamic they care for anymore, and I agree with them especially considering the issues it brings about. “ Whenever the female reader is extremely passive and shy/flustered whereas the idol/character is extremely assertive/condescending/dominating/leading everything in comparison.” There is a personal preference to this yes# people acknowledged this, however when talking about this dynamic they further explained the issues with it. Overly passive female has already been touched on but to reiterate the replies insinuated they’re sick of seeing women in fics treated how they are in real life essentially – like some dumb little girl. One person said, “I like when the girl can give as good as she gets, though that’s just my preference.” So, like what has been discussed before this portrayal of females it absolute bullshit and needs to fucking stop being such a constant portrayal. (mind break is different so don’t start)

Then for the male side of things it’s enforcing the stereotype men are macho an alpha male, they don’t have feelings they just think with their dick and have all grr I’m super toxically manly do you ever lift bro, I’m so strong, I get all the bitches, fuck all the girls, the have control over the passive female and not in a consenting way, in an entitled way. Which no, they can have feelings, they can be softer more feminine all whilst still identifying as a man. They can be submissive just as much as a anyone else, they can be a switch or just a dom that isn’t this macho, macho, man. They can be needy, loving, caring, in touch with themselves, their feelings and everything the female character is made out to be, apart from dumb, naïve and weak of course, yano all those negative things any gender and non-gender people want to be associated with. If the guy wants to get railed by the female and be the sub in the dynamic of male x female, then fair enough let it happen there isn’t nothing wrong with it.

All in all, it’s okay for males to be more feminine than masculine and females more masculine than feminine. It’s okay to portray that in fics genuinely. I wouldn’t say I have any advice for this other than the obvious no more macho man and passive females.

Use of Korean words. - If you’re not a Korean person don’t think you’re in the right to argue about this. The Korean people have spoken up and you will listen and respect them. Know this is an important topic, however there will be a separate post for this, so I’ll keep this bit short to then expand on more in the separate post. Just wanted to make you the reader aware that this is an issue.  It’s not okay to be treating noona, unnie and oppa like a kink if you are not Korean, or have Korean heritage. The people who are Korean so kindly explained, it was a normal word for them like just another part of their culture until bad egg kpop fans got their hands on it and they have now sexualized it to the point where some Korean people do not feel comfortable to even use it without thinking of the sexual connotation it has now been given. 

Now like I said I will talk further about that and more, to do with the use of Korean words in fics, in another post, I don’t already have that post drafted so it might take a while to get out and post. However in that time I’m gladly open to hearing more people who are Korean and have Korean heritage, views on this. Or if you too have experience with a word from your language having been taken from being an innocent word to now having a sexual connotation as well because of people not from your country/culture having given it that sexual meaning. It could be helpful to further emphasis the point about the Korean words but also show overall no matter the language/country that it’s making the people of that country/culture uncomfortable. 

Also I hope it doesn’t come across like I’m trying to speak over Koreans. If anything i want to be helpful more than a hinderance. This was something that was spoken about on the questionnaire so I’m just writing what the Korean people have expressed about it in the questionnaire. I want to be able to give their voices from the questionnaire a platform and shed light on this situation, with them.

Also can I ask if gender is a factor in this as well? I’ve seen on tiktok where some Korean guys like being called oppa but I’m not sure if that's in a respectful light or a sexual light, if they were being sarcastic for the Korea-boos or? but i have never seen women say they like being called noona in a way that comes across as a turn on? So can anyone comment on that? send me anons pls.

Too much degradation - Of course everyone who has mentioned this has said it is quite a personal preference thing, the acknowledge that it’s a kink not for everyone. Although on the flip side them relentlessly mentioning it give the feel that it’s becoming more of a problem and less of it’s okay it’s not everyone’s cup of tea. You see they exampled “bitch, slut, whore.” It’s so commonly used, and they even said how they’re finding it not tagged majority of the time, so seeing that surprisingly in the fics constantly it makes them cringe but it’s not a type of thing one can get over it’s apparent it’s becoming a slight problem. It begs the question how much degradation is too much, why is it constantly being used in fics? Does everyone love labeling the female y/n a bitch, whore, slut? Why is the male y/n never called a slut as much as female y/n? Do females have more of a degradation kink than men?

I can’t think of any advice to give based on the feedback, apart from obviously add it to your tags that there is a lot of degradation but it there is anything anyone else wants to add on this topic feel free to re-blog with your take or send me anons.

Describing features on a y/n fic - A few people have mentioned this, and I categorized it as a problem because well it is because not only does it make them cringe in smut fics but also in normal fics and poc feel oppressed in yet another way. When it’s written as y/n it’s supposed to allow the reader to insert themselves into the fic to imagine themselves in there, yet it’s not always done like that. As one of the responses said, it seems authors like that tend to project themselves or their ideal selves onto y/n physical feature wise. More often than not as the responses have indicated y/n is portrayed as cis female, white, blonde, blue eyes, other physical traits such as breast size, dick size body type, height and hair length are portrayed too, which pulls the readers out of imagining because they’re being told they have features they don’t. It’s especially bad for poc because their race never gets portrayed in fics, so it gives the message white race is the most favorable and we already know how racist the world is no need to bring it into fics either unknowingly or purposely.

Moral of the story, stop racism, end it. Go educate yourself.

Moral of the story, in regard to fics, well don’t describe y/n thoroughly. Instead leave it as vague as possible, I mean it’s not even needed to know what eye colour y/n has when they’re in the middle of getting railed.

Quick intermission to just say make sure you tag what gender and pronouns y/n has for your fic, so people are fully aware what y/n they’re getting in this fic.

Nor do we need to know what skin colour they have, it can easily be mentioned that a character is touching y/n’s body without saying they have milky skin indicating they’re white. It is very possible to not give y/n a race. Also, height, keep height out of it don’t describe it because not everyone is 5’2. (hello yes, I’m 5’10 so imagine me reading character a of height 5’8 towering over me, I mean maybe if they wear heels yes but otherwise no.) Similarly, don’t ever describe body types, you can say an outfit flatters a person’s figure without describing it, people can have sex without their body being specifically described i.e., slim figure, toned shapely legs. Please understand that by not describing y/n you’re helping to contribute to racism, and these wacky beauty standards that are already being forced onto us in the real world never mind the fictional world. 

Lack of safe word - Following on from kinks not being portrayed correctly there is the issue of lack of safe word. Now this is something that again didn’t come up quite a lot but that doesn’t mean it’s not an issue. Some are writing fics where one of the people involved, are being railed to high hell and it’s kinky as fuck or you’re writing a BDSM specific fic. Which is okay we are not judging or shaming but it’s concerning how with all this type of sex being had there is no even slight mention of the pairing having a safe word which is has the name would imply really important. It is there to keep the people participating in this kinky sex safe, without that it’s really harmful. Now if you think oh but writing in the discussion of safe words is really unsexy, especially when I’m just trying to make the characters fuck really kinky, then please go educate yourself. Safe words are incredibly sexy when you know it means you get to have bomb ass kinky sex but know that you can also have boundaries that should and will be respected, and a word or system i.e. traffic light system, to pause or stop when ever you need to in order to keep the kinky sexy safe.

The obvious advice is to incorporate consent and knowledge of safe word in your fic. It can be as simple as writing that the characters stop a minute for person a saying to person b you know your safe word. And then writing a small mini paragraph of person b feeling even more in love and/or turned on because their boundaries are being respected. Then you just carry on with writing the smut. You can imply easily that they have a safe word, that it’s been discussed, therefore they’re gong to be safe, respected and made to feel good.

Also, I know there are some people out there who are, a bit unsure on writing a fic in which one person uses their safe word. This is your friendly supportive message to just do it, don’t be afraid of what others think, do it for you it’s something great to write. There are many different ways you can go with it, so you do it if you want to 😊.

Honorable mentions of things that make the people cringe.

(Not a problem just as we are at the end of this category I figured I’d put honorable mentions. disclaimer again, these are other people’s comments from the questionnaire. You are entitled not to agree with them however do not attack me as some have been doing.)

fetishize people’s gender or race/ethnicity

uneducated use of other cultures to make it look authentic

Use of the word plum when they mean plump. One’s a fruit/colour, the other means having a full rounded shape.

PICK ME Y/N (we all know the type)

Stereotypes of all kinds. Of people, phrases, troupes etc.….

Written in a way it sounds monotone. i.e., “He did this, he did that, I did this.”

 When all y/n does during a smut scene is whine. There are other synonyms people.                                                                               

infantilization of y/n. stop making me feel like the person who the fic is about, is a nonce.                                                                                      

y/n is constantly oh so innocent. Like they can be a virgin don’t get it wrong. BUT we all know 9 times out of 10 y/n reads fanfic so they ain’t innocent.· 

no refractory period. 

try hard humour in the middle of smut.

terrible euphemisms

proper unrealistic dick sizes

adding in smut into a plot where it doesn’t fit

try hard

more to come potentially?       

END OF CATERGORY 3

(Feel free to discuss in comments, in my messages or send anons or anything like that if you want.)

@nctsworld  @lauraneuuh @jooniyah  

 Tag list:

@ceoofxiaojun @lovemayble  @myelle-n

(@smutwritingpolice) (@smutwhy)

#nct smut #kpop #smut writing #smut writing advice #tvd #kdrama #kpop smut #bts smut #aomg smut #twice #jessi #itzy layouts #stray kids #ateez #the boyz #ikon #2pm #the originals #supernatural #marvel cinematic universe #marvel smut #dc smut #writing advice #how to write smut #google forms #advice on writing #shadow hunters #tfaws #noona kink #oppa kink

[thiswasinevitableid]

5, sternclay, nsfw? 👀

Here you go

5: Incubus

“Buddy, I promise, you can come in and cuddle in like, ten minutes.” 

The whining at the bedroom door stops, replaced by a big, wet nose, just visible through the crack at the bottom of the door as it snuffles back and forth. It’s very cute, but Barclay is not about to let his dog deprive him of a much needed jerk-off session.

He’s ready for bed, so it’s just a matter of pulling down his pajama pants and getting to it. Closing his eyes, he pictures that cute customer who gets black coffee and a croissant every morning at the Lodge. It takes a few tries to find a fantasy he likes, the one about the back counter and the new uses for a spatula.

Outside the door, Sass starts whining again, scratching frantically at the wood. There goes his deposit. 

God, he can practically feel the guy up against him.

The bed dips on the outside of each thigh. Opening his eyes reveals a man wearing nothing but deep blue boxer briefs and a smile. 

“Holyshitwhatthefuck?” He clambers back, banging his head on the wall in his hurry to sit up, “what the fuck man, how’d you get in here?”

“A portal between dimensions.  That’s the, um, simplified version. But don’t worry, I’m not here to hurt you. The opposite really. I’m an incubus.”

“Why the fuck is a fucking sex demon in my bedroom?” Barclay yanks his pants up. The incubus looks sad at this development. 

“I feed on sexual energy, and to do that I follow trails of that same energy to their source. You have a lot of it.”

“Yeah, year-long dry spell’ll do that.”

“Consider it broken.” The demon leans forward only for Barclay to hold up a hand.

“Nope. This is not how I want to break it. Sorry.”

“Is it my appearance? I can look like anyone--or anything--you want.” His features morph, eyes going from brown to blue to green, hair from honey-blond to fire red, “if you’re shy, my powers let me see into your deepest fantasies and make them come true.”

“No that’s not the problem, I wanna fuck someone I have some kinda connection to, not some guy who dropped into my bedroom. And would you please knock it off with that face-changing? I’m not gonna fuck you, so you can just look like yourself.”

The incubus starts, surprised by his sharp refusal, features landing on short, black hair, blue eyes, and a face that’d make a movie-star insecure. 

“I said you don’t have to try and be hot.”

“...This is how I look.” 

“Oh. Uh. Cool.” 

The demon smiles, “Having second thoughts?”

He takes a deep breath and lies through his teeth, “Nope.”

With that, he stands, grabbing the nearest shirt and pulling it on. Sass wiggles when he opens the door, takes one look behind him, and runs the other way.

“I wish I knew why earth canines react that way to me. I have a hellhound named Mother Leeds who adores me.”

“Jersey Devil reference?” He pads into the kitchen, starts the kettle and rummages in the cabinet for the most soothing tea blend he owns. 

“Yes!” The demon grins from his new position by the fridge, “when I found her she was pregnant with a litter. Most people don’t get it. Demons don’t either.”

“Friend of mine likes Mothman and all that kinda stuff. Uh” He takes a cup down, reaches for a second one automatically and then stops, “are you gonna hang around? Because my answer isn’t changing and if you keep pestering me I’ll just leave the apartment.”

“No, I’ll drop it. You’re not interested and sexual energy only works if it’s from something consensual. But, um” he toys with a magnet, “could I ask a few questions before I go?”

“About?”

“Humans. How things work up here, what your daily lives are like, that sort of thing.”

“Uh, sure.” He gets down the second mug, “is this so you can better seduce them or something?” Turning, he finds the incubus sitting at the table, producing a small notebook and pen from the air.

“No, this is my own research. I’m, um, more curious about humans than the average demon. I basically ended up an incubus because at my last job I kept trying to talk with humans or spend more time around them than was wise and, well, my supervisor got sick of it. So they offered me a reassignment to a role where the whole point was to be around people.”

“You fuck people just so you can, like, interview them afterwards?” He sets the two mugs on the table, notices that the notebook is crammed with questions in neat, elegant handwriting. 

“Technically, I also need the energy from it. But, um, yes” he blushes, “I know it’s a sort of silly hobby.”

“I don’t think it’s silly to wanna know about other worlds and people. But this doesn’t seem like the most, uh, effective way to do it.”

A sigh as the demon picks up his mug, “You’ve got that right. Sometimes I can get a few questions in during ‘pillow talk’ but mostly it’s in and out. Literally.” He snickers at his own bad joke, which further kindles the inexplicable, protective impulse Barclay feels towards him, “Don’t get me wrong, I like my work, and being a good incubus takes skill and dedication. It just...isn’t quite what I thought it’d be.” He sips the tea, brings the mug away from his mouth to study the liquid, “what kind is this?”

“Mostly chamomile.” 

“Chamomile…” he flips through the book, which contains more pages than should be physically and spatially possible, “that’s a plant, one that humans thing is calming, right?”

Barclay can’t help but smile, “Right. You want me to sit here and quiz you?”

“No, there’s too much to discover. What would you say is your area of expertise?” 

“I’m a cook, so food.”

“Food, food, ah here it is. Let’s see, why do humans persist in eating things that could kill them?”

“You mean things like rhubarb or are we in, like, Fugu territory here?”

The demon smiles, “I have no idea, please say more.”

They sit at the table until two in the morning, at which point Joseph ,the incubus, excuses himself to go collect energy from a willing participant. Before he disappears, he takes a chance and tells Joseph that he can come back if he has more questions. The demon thanks him and, out of what Barclay suspects is a habit more than anything else, blows him a kiss goodbye. 

----------------------------------------

“Y’know, I kinda figured you’d look more demonic. Do incubi just get human forms?” Barclay shakes red pepper flakes onto his pizza while Joseph finishes a filled breadstick. 

“This isn’t my ‘true’ form. When you asked me just to look like myself when we met, I figured you meant the least alarming version.”

“As long as it’s not, like, a beast with a thousand eyes, we’re good.”

Joseph wipes his mouth and by the time the napkin reaches the other corner of his lips, Barclay is gasping.

His nails turn sharp and silver, his eyes pure black, but it’s his skin that’s most noticeable; it’s swirls and swoops of blue and silver, dancing down his arms and blooming out from the neck of his  “Museum of Anthropology” souvenir shirt. He stands, giving Barclay a fuller view. Short horns sprout from his head, doubtless the perfect size and texture to hold him in place with your dick down his throat. His tail is that same mix of royal blue and silver, the right length to wrap around your hand and tug while you fuck him. Every inch of him is made to be pinched and pulled, groped and fondled, and Barclay will not be standing up from the table any time soon.

“It’s the color that gets people.” Joseph smiles with pointed teeth as he sits back down.

“It’s incredible, Joseph.”

The demon smiles, mischievous, “I’m glad you like it. Now, where were we?” He uncovers his notebook from a stack of parmesan packets and clicks his pen, appearance fading back to the human one Barclay is used to. He mourns his loss for a moment, before Joseph draws him into an animated conversation about movie theaters. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Come on Sass, it’s okay. Look, I even have your favorite.” Joseph holds out the treat, still fresh from the oven, while Barclay puts the rest of the batch out of range. The dog no longer runs from the demon, but will not come within arms reach of him. 

Sass whines, looking from Joseph to Barclay and back. 

“Here” Barclay settles on the couch next to him, resting his arm along the back of it, “see, buddy, he’s our friend.”

Sass creeps forward, still on his belly, plucks the treat from Joseph’s palm, and retreats to his bed. 

“Progress.” Joseph leans back, pleased. Their positions mean he comes to rest with Barclays arm around him. Barclay doesn’t move it, and the demon stays put until the end of the episode of Hells’ Kitchen

------------------------------------------

The newest Agent X is so engrossing that Barclay doesn’t register Joseph until his friend slumps onto the bed. 

“Hey, you’re early.” He sets the book down on the nightstand, scooching to where the demon sits rubbing his forehead.

“I’m, um, I’m having a bit of a problem.” When he looks up, silver and blue peeks through the skin on his face, “I misjudged how much energy I was going to get from my last two visits. I’m so weak I don’t think I can make it back home. I, um, I came here because if I’m going to be stuck and without powers I” his horns appear and he scratches them awkwardly, “I want it to be around someone I trust.”

“What’ll happen if you can’t get more energy?”

“I’ll get sick, and if the worst happens I’ll have to signal for someone to come get me. Which’ll get me demoted for sure.” He tucks his legs up onto the bed. He’s wearing the UFO socks Barclay gave him as a surprise last week, and the cook sets a hand on a flying-saucer covered ankle. 

“You can stay as long as you need, okay? And if there’s anything else I can do to help, let me know.”

“Unless you feel like taking me door to door to ask your neighbors if they want to fuck, a safe place to rest is what I need most.”

“What if, uh, you recharged here?” He draws a finger up and down the side of Josephs’ calf.

The incubus raises his eyebrows, “Barclay, are you forgetting how we met?”

“I didn’t want to fuck you then, but now...now you’re you, this handsome, clever, dorky guy who also happens to be a sex demon who hangs around my house most nights. I, I didn’t ask about sooner because I was afraid you’d think it was fuck me or lose our friendship, but if I can help you in a kinda self-serving way, I’m down.”

Joseph shakes his head, “That’s sweet, but you’re not the only one with concerns. How can I be sure you actually want me, and you’re not just offering because you want to help?”

Barclay snaps his fingers, “You can read my deepest desires, right? How about you take a peek and tell me what you see?”

Joseph closes his eyes, tail twitching as he concentrates, and Barclay gets the distinct pleasure of watching his face as he learns the truth. 

“Oh. OH. Um, you’re not kidding about how badly you want me. And some of this makes the reaction you had the one time I showed up in a suit make way more sense. But we can explore that later.” His eyes, now-pitch black, snap open, “right now, big guy, I’ll do whatever you want, however you want it.” 

“In that case” Barclay catches Joseph just as he tries for a kiss, “how about you tell me what you want?”

“Barclay, I’m an incubus, I want whatever the person I’m feeding on wants.”

“Nuhuh, I don’t buy that, babe. You’re telling me there’s nothing that’s your favorite, or that you’re curious about?” He teases their lips together.

“N-no?”

“You’re not getting any kisses until you tell me the truth.”

Joseph narrows his eyes with a “hmmph.” Then, as if it’s his greatest secret, he whispers, “I want to know what it’s like to get a massage as foreplay. No one’s ever wanted it or offered, and it sounds so nice.”

Barclay rewards him with a kiss. The demon melts against him, slides a forked tongue into his mouth to tease it. Clawed fingers tug at his shirt until Joseph remembers he can do magic and renders them both naked with a wave of the hand.

When they part, Joseph licks his lips, “Holy hell, Barclay, that kiss was enough to make me feel better than I did this morning. Tastes nice too, like coffee with lots of cream.”

“So, coffee the way you like it.” Barclay nudges him backwards, rolls him over as the incubus keeps talking. 

“Usually it’s a neutral sweetness. I wonder, hmm, maybe it has something to do with the fact you’re attracted to me, as in the actual meOHohhhhhhh” he flattens into the bed like a cat on a sunny floor as Barclay digs his thumbs under his shoulder blades. 

“You can theorize later babe, I promise. Right now, all you gotta do is let me rub you down. Uh, can you magic up some oil or something? It’ll feel better if--great, thanks.” Barclay sets the lit massage candle safely on the nightstand, waiting for it to melt. 

“Should I put my human form back on now that I can hold it?”

“Nope” he traces his hands up parallel patches of silver, pinches one horn playfully, “I love that version of you, but this one is so, so, fucking hot. Now” be kisses the base of his neck, “relax.”

Drizzling liquid wax down his spine makes the incubus moan, but the sound is nothing compared to what happens when he starts kneading him like dough. It’s a yowl, rough and inelegant in a way Joseph never is, and Barclay dedicates the next fifteen minutes to finding new ways to trigger it. He’s so beautiful, it’s like touching a painting, a galaxy, a miracle.

By the time he reaches his lower back the incubus is grinding on the bed and Barclay is half-hard from touching him. He grips Joseph’s ass, parting it enough to grind between the cheeks. 

“Don’t tease” his tail delivers a scolding thwack to Barclays cheek. The cook growls, turning his head to capture the offending appendage between his teeth.

“OHholyffffffuckinghell.” Joseph rips the blanket as he flails, “no one’s ever thought to do that before and now I really wish they had.”

That’s all the encouragement he needs. He ignores his growing hard-on in favor of nipping and kissing his way down Joseph’s tail. It’s velvety, feels like nothing he’s ever experienced as it twitches and trembles under his tongue. The base gets an extra-hard lovebite and Joseph moans, rolling over so fast he nearly catches Barclay in the face with his cock. And what a cock, on the narrow side but covered in swirling ridges.

“Holy shit, you just get hotter and hotter.”

“Th-thank you, big guy, now for gods sake pleeEEEase fuck me.” He whimpers adorably when Barclay licks up his shaft. 

“Okay babe, we can fuck. But I think…” he grabs the incubus, flipping them so Joseph straddles him, “I want you to fuck me.”

Joseph registers his words and his eyes glow deep blue. 

“Uh, is that a good thing?”

“Yes, big guy, it’s the closest I get to having my pupils dilate when aroused. And since you look so good underneath me, I’ll expedite things” he snaps his fingers and Barclay inhales in surprise; his ass is dripping lube and stretched like someone just pulled three fingers away from it.

“Fuck yeah” he spreads his legs, “c’mon blue eyes, don’t make me wait anymoreOHFUCK, fuck, yeah, like that.” He hooks his legs around Joseph as the incubus thrusts all the way in. Joseph kisses in precise shapes up and down his face, even as his hips keep a rapid, erratic rhythm. 

“Shit, shit, Barclay you taste so good, feel so good, please, please don’t stop touching me.”

“Not sure I could ever keep my hands to myself again, babe, god you’re so fucking handsomeAH, hah, someone got a praise kink?” He gasps out laughter as Joseph fucks him harder with each kind word. The ridges on his cock are solid enough that Barclay feels them with each drag, and it sets his toes curling.

“Maybe a little one” the incubus smiles against his neck, “though kink is a distinctly human concept and a complex one-SHITfuck, fuck please do that again.” He kisses Barclay hard as the human obligingly pulls his tail with one hand and smacks his ass with the other. Teeth catch Barclay’s lower lip on the next tug, a moan spilling from Josephs’ mouth down his chin. 

“That’s it baby, fuck me while I rough you up, fuck, Joseph, your dick is fucking perfect, never gonna want another one, c’mon please, I’m close.”

Joseph sits up, grinning joyfully, and grips Barclays cock. It’s a masterful handjob, because how could a sex demon give anything else, but what strikes Barclay most is how happy and relaxed Joseph is. The incubus admitted once that even when he was having sex, he constantly worried about fulfilling the fantasy to earn enough energy to feed. Yet here he’s laughing and smiling, eyes aglow as he works Barclay up to the best orgasm of his life. 

It means something; Barclay only hopes Joseph will stay in his life long enough for him to figure out what.��

He’s too busy with the sparks behind his eyelids and the pleasure coursing down from his head to his toes to note that Joseph managed to make them cum at the same time. The incubus pushes a hand through his fair, swooping it back and off his face, as he notes this accomplishment. 

“I want to run a marathon. Or maybe go hiking, or swim the lake. I have so much energy. Barclay, it’s amazing. You, it’s never been like that before. It’s felt good, but that was fucking transcendent. 

“No fucking kidding.” Barclay shifts onto his side, nestling up against him so his head is under Joseph’s chin. He yawns, kisses a blue shoulder, “but you might have to burn off some energy without me. You wore me out, blue eyes.”

Joseph adjusts his arms so he’s holding him, “If I stay the night, can I walk Sass with you in the morning?”

Barclay nods, already falling asleep, safe in the knowledge that Joseph is okay and, better yet, so fond of him that his eyes are still glowing, “You got a deal, babe.”

#sternclay #agent stern/barclay #reader requests #monster march #TAZ amnesty

[elliots-stuff]

Choose six quotes and I’ll tell you something all quiz results

of hearts and sleeves and etc

[platonic or romantic!] I'm not going to tell you that loving recklessly is going to get you into trouble or come back to bite you (although perhaps someone should, because it's difficult, isn't it, to know that all those times this has brought you hurt were not fluke incidents?). Because I get it--this is a beautiful, rich way to live. So many people don't understand how to love and be loved; so many people wish they could do it like you do. I hope you continue to fall in love with yourself and the world around you.

to be golden

I get it. You're chasing success--fame, admiration, respect, power, whatever it is. You're chasing perfection, you're chasing a high. I'll could tell you that you'll never get there, that though you're very good you'll never be able to satisfy yourself, but you know that. That's almost half the fun, really. What I'll say instead is that I think you should decide now where you draw the line. What you're willing to give up for this grand performance. Because this is a lifestyle that's built around tradeoffs and at some point, you'll lose something you'll really wish you hadn't if you aren't careful.

it's going to be alright

I promise it will be, I really do. You've gotten through everything they've thrown at you so far, after all. And I don't mean to overstep, but I'd like to tell you that I'm proud of you for getting to this point. And I hope you are as well, because you're the only one who truly knows the incredible amount of strength, bravery, and persistence you had to have to get here. I promise you that there is good in the world and that it's just around the corner (lovely things come when you least expect them). It might be hard for some time longer, but there is something beyond this.

humor me on this one--

[blood mention] You aren't going to want to listen to me but I am telling you, insistently, that the world does, in fact, lend itself to light and goodness if you allow it to. And I think that you should. I suspect that you find a sort of grim satisfaction in the idea of misery and bleeding out (metaphorically), and you're right, to a degree--you Will bleed out if you continue with this mindset. There isn't anything to be gained by allowing darkness to consume you. The only thing I can think is that maybe you're trying to protect yourself from getting hurt, and even then, at what cost? The world of the living is wonderful. I think you should join us.

the world may be large but so are you

I know that it's terrifying at times--the strange, unpredictable nature of life, and the way there is so much good but so much bad everywhere every day. It's difficult to rationalize. And the truth is that no matter what you do, sometimes you will find yourself in bad situations outside of your control. What you can control, though, is your mindset and the degree to which you actively seek out good things. I hope you won't forget that you're clever and capable and lovable and you can make a difference and you can become whatever you want to be. The world is unexplored and exciting and it was made for you; it holds so much for you to find.

on beauty--

There are few things more classic and admirable than the pursuit and attainment of a highly aestheticized life. But in truth, I think you're chasing something that you'll never be able to catch. I don't think the level of beauty--of passion, of intensity, of magic, of glamour--you're seeking exists outside of movie screens. I suppose that's more of an internal issue, though, a behind the curtain problem. Because you look absolutely stunning to me.

[ikeservant]

How would the ikesen boys react to an mc who is blind but can take care of herself?

This took forever but I finally finished! 

MC has been blind for a good chunk of her life. She adapted quickly though through her sense of hearing and echolocation along with vibrations, being able to detect walls, objects, and people around her. She got sucked into the wormhole and BAM! Sengoku era! 

Nobunaga: She could smell and hear the fire around her and also..someone coughing? She followed the sound until she found the source, remembering the path she took so she can get out, and dragged Nobu’s butt out of the flames. “Do you know who I am?” “Well I can’t see you so nope.” When he realized that she was blind he was very impressed. “Men with all their senses in tact don’t have the bravery that you have. You are indeed a lucky charm.” He took her to Azuichi and told her that she could just laze around and have others take care of her if she wished, but mc is an independent woman that is able to do things herself so she immediately tells him to give her a job and she’d be able to accommodate to it. He admires her ambition and sets her to work. When she isn’t working he invites her to sit with him and chat bc he wants to get to know her as a person as well as how she’s able to adapt to the world without the sense of sight, intrigued with the clever methods to manage on her own. He feels inspired by her to create an education program for his citizens affected with physical limitations and how to help them live a fulfilling life while feeling capable just like mc.

Hideyoshi: His suspicion of mc decreased dramatically when he found out, as a matter of fact, she is blind. Suspicion immediately turned into concern and pity, making him really hesitant of Nobunaga letting mc do chores since she wanted to earn her keep. He was silently watching her with her rag and bucket, ready to step in the moment he sees her struggle. Instead, he sees her stepping around the perimeter of the outside hallway, mentally mapping out the length and width of the hall. Then, picking up the rag, cleaned the whole hall without a problem. Afterward, he approached her and told her about his concerns and worries of her struggling. She reassured him that she was able to live on her own for the most part where she came from, and as long as she made a mental map of the castle and heard when she was getting close to a wall or object, she would be just fine. He’d still insist on going to the market with her since it’s hard for anybody to navigate by hearing and mentally taking notes when there’s a huge market crowd. VERY protective and VERY mama hen Hide around mc to the point where she nags at him to give her space bc she doesn’t want him to worry about her as much as he does.

Mitsunari: Very helpful while also being very curious about how mc strategizes her everyday life. While giving a tour of the castle, he could tell she was taking her time while using her other senses to get a feel for each area. When he talked about her possibly having a helper maid to take her from place to place, mc answered “No need. I now know the area. I’ll ask somebody if I get lost but I’ve got a good mental map of the area.” “Very impressive, mc!” Mitsunari would beam. Mc can take care of herself better than he can, making that the staple point that the others drive into Mitsunari so he actually starts taking care of himself. They often brainstorm of ways to help mc do errands. Like with delivering scroll letters, cutting off a small little square at the bottom in a certain area so she can tell who is getting what letter and travel accordingly (ex: cut in left corner is Nobunaga’s letter. Cut in right corner is for Hideyoshi. Square cut in the middle on the bottom of the scroll is Ieyasu, etc.) Thinks mc is smarter and has a stronger willpower than anybody he’s ever met (besides his “friend” Ieyasu) bc of how she’s able to think and adapt to compensate for her lack of eyesight to survive and be capable and on equal footing as everyone else.

Masamune: He found out when trying to flirt with mc. “Hey I’ve had my eye on you this whole time, lass.” “Wish I could say the same. But that’s physically impossible.” “Ha! I see you have a sense of humor. I would have said I had my EYES on you but that would be only half true.” Both would probably joke about their eyes and brush it off as no big deal. Impressed that by her second day he saw her in the halls carrying supplies by herself, already aware of the area. “Masamune, is that you?” “Yeah it is! I’m impressed! Your senses must be very on point.” “That or the fact that you always smell like spices and walk kinda funny.”mc laughed. Likes how free and independent mc’s spirit is, admiring how she doesn’t let her disability stop her from doing what she wants to do, finding ways to adapt to things. Since boi really likes to write letters but would have to have someone else read it to her while he was away, she taught him braille. Giving him a guide with a scroll listing the indents/holes that indicate different characters, he was able to give her flirty messages while he was away and imagine her blushy face while she’s reading the letter herself.

Mitsuhide: Could tell almost right away that mc was blind. Would secretly be watching over her to see if she was having trouble. Every time he would walk up to her with a “Are you lost, little mouse? It must be hard for you.” in a condescending tone to tease her while also being slightly concerned. “No. I know I’m in the right hallway to go to the cleaning supply room. Just two more lefts then a right and about 10 paces to the left.” He actually was shocked for a second but felt like praising her for having a sharp mind. Tries sneaking up on her but she can always tell he’s near due to just sensing his presence and hearing just the slightest glide of his feet on the hallway, calling him out. Sees a bit of himself in her, being mentally prepared and alert of their senses to adapt and compensate for their shortcomings. When deciding to teach her because he wants her to survive and thrive in this cruel world, he realizes he’ll have to read everything to her and verbally quiz her. However, she introduced him to braille, intriguing him and inspiring him to use it as a new secret code language to send info. Also feels like it’s a special bond between them.

Ieyasu: Would be against mc doing chores or going around by herself because she’ll just be an inconvenience (not because he just doesn’t want her to get hurt I write sarcastically). Would make him stand up and follow her as she gives him a whole tour of the castle, remembering every hallway within one week. He’s glad that mc can’t see how embarrassed his face is that she’s better adapted than he thought. He’d still lowkey be like mama hideyoshi, silently watching her and trying to tell her that she should still be careful. He draws the line at her planning on going to the market on her own because things are constantly shifting and changing there and the noisy crowd might throw her off, leaving him no other choice but to escort mc. As thanks, mc would buy him something spicy, using her nose and advice from others to get him the gift. Normally mc is able to go through the day fine, but sometimes she’ll accidentally tumble, causing Ieyasu to lightly scold her while checking her bruises and letting her see Wasabi. She was SHOOK finding out that she was petting a cute lil deer since she could tell it was a smaller 4 legged animal with lil hooves but didn’t know that it was a baby fawn. Ieyasu would also give mc a walking stick to help her navigate better, especially in unfamiliar areas or areas with possible obstacles in the way.

Kenshin: Was at the bar minding his own business when he heard a cane tap a seat next to him. Mc sat next to him, ordering something to drink. “If you were to try to find a woman, how long would it take to find her in this bar?” she’d ask, hoping that she could get some free time away from an overbearing escort. “Depends on the target. Why? Did you start a fight? If so, can I get in on it?” “Oh nah. I want a break from being smothered with attention and feeling like I need help. If I can go to this specific bar blind then that should be proof that I don’t need helpers for short trips.” He was surprised a woman, much less a blind woman, was confident in her abilities to get from place to place while being sure of herself. Mc and Kenshin met quite a bit after that and the more he heard her complain about her work, the more he realized she was working for the Oda. Not trusting the Oda and not wanting her to face a horrible fate if someone overtakes the Oda first, he convinces her to move into his castle. She memorizes the area quickly and feels less crowded with warlords, but the closer she gets to Kenshin the more he is overbearing and protective over her safety. She gives him several demonstrations of her doing tasks by herself to convince him that it’s very low risk and that she enjoys feeling independent and capable. Although overprotective, he thinks she has the most determined spirit of anyone he’s ever met and will cut down anybody that makes her feel weak or helpless because she’s far from that in his eyes, even if he still worries about her.

Shingen: Shingen was well aware that almost all the women at the tea shop were swooning over him, all except mc, who was eating sweet buns and drinking tea in the corner while waiting for some of the warlords to come back from their long in-town meeting. He tried winking at her, but she just kept staring off and making no expression change. He decided to walk up to her, feeling curious. “Whoever smells like woodchips and cologne that is walking up to my table, please state your business.” Since he’s very intuitive, he’s able to realize mc is blind by now. He decided to have a normal conversation with her, learning how she’s able to stay strong and manage w/o sight. When he saw the other warlords coming back he bolted, but realized she was working for the “terrible” Nobunaga. Since in his mind he thinks the Oda are going to hurt/take advantage of her, he makes an elaborate plan to take her away. When she got to Kenshin and Shingen’s place, she was FUMING bc of being kidnapped. However, Shingen explained everything about how the Oda overtook his homeland and all the horrors he’s seen them do and how he wanted to save her from facing that same fate. Mc pretty much told him that it isn’t his choice to make that call but understands from his voice that he’s being sincere so she decides to stay for a while. He’s very impressed she knows the whole layout of the castle and can tell when he’s walking up to her because he has a “flirty saunter”. When she does feel a little down about being blind he helps her find silver linings like how she’s been able to be braver and determined to adapt, and how she is able to look at someone’s character and words instead of being thrown off by physical appearances. Although he is chivalrous and offers to help her with tough tasks, he will ROAST anybody that calls her weak or fragile because she’s the strongest, most resilient goddess in his eyes. Would make a beautiful wooden cane for her so she can look stylish while walking around outside.

Yukimura: When mc freaked out and ran away, running straight for the cliff, Yukimura caught her. “WHAT WERE YOU THINKING RUNNING OFF A CLIFF LIKE A WILD BOAR? ARE YOU BLIND?” “Actually yeah.” Yuki went o_o before trying to scold her more for running aimlessly w/o knowing where she’s going until Sasuke swooped in, recognizing she’s the person from the present and offers they take her in. Yuki agrees, not wanting anybody to get hurt cuz he’s a caring boi. Since he didn’t want her to trip on anything and could tell she was exhausted and overwhelmed at the moment, he gave her a piggyback ride to the castle. When showing her around he keeps awkwardly asking if she needs help or assistance and gets more embarrassed when she says she can do most things on her own. “Of course I can feed myself. I have hands, dummy.” Is glad she’s capable of doing a lot on her own so he doesn’t have to keep worrying about her safety. Lowkey forgets she’s blind at times but is glad mc can laugh it off and says it makes her happy that she can go about life so normally that people don’t notice her blindness. When mc talked about seeing eye dogs being a thing, lowkey he’s thinking about making Muramasa a guide dog if mc ever wanted to go explore so he can guide her and pull her along. Also embarrassingly asks Shingen to teach him how to carve wood so he can make her a walking stick with their names carved on it and will blush like crazy when mc feels the names on it and tackles him in a hug.

Sasuke: Found her running in the woods the night she landed in the Sengoku era. Since she was overwhelmed and scared for her life, not knowing what the heck was going on, she was stumbling and tripped, making a branch snap loudly. Sasuke, who was nearby, used his ninja hearing and went to investigate. She could hear him approach and turned towards his direction. “I HAVE A WEAPON AND I’M NOT AFRAID TO USE IT” she threatened, gripping her walking stick while whipping out a pocket knife. He noticed the red band around the white stick, which was the noticeable sign of a blind person’s walking cane. “Don’t worry. I’m not going to hurt you.” “You sound like the guy from the temple before that big lightning strike. What the hell is going on?” He explained to her the current predicament and how they’re back in the Sengoku era. “I guess that explains why I teleported into a flaming building and just heard a bunch of warlord names and felt like I was in a historical reenactment.” Sasuke helps her go to Kenshin’s place, explaining to Kenshin her predicament and Kenshin agrees as long as Sasuke duels him every day for a month (RIP Sasuke). Is impressed how she’s able to remember how to get around the castle after just 2 days and makes Kenshin give her a job and proving that she’s plenty capable, earning Kenshin’s respect. He has faith that she is plenty independent and capable of living a decent life in the castle, but he still offers assistance in unfamiliar settings and will always come up with good ideas to help when mc asks for advice on how to get around certain tasks.

#ikemen sengoku #ikesen #ikesen headcanon #ikesen hc

[painted-crow]

Submission Time #12

Another submission from me! I’d meant to put in answers from the quiz… or really, my perpetual arguments with the quiz. But then I got distracted by writing out my thoughts and forgot to do that.

Oof, I’m afraid I don’t know who you are just from this–you sent it in with anonymous on! Hopefully that’s okay.

I get different answers from the quiz at different times. Last time I took it in earnest, stoned out of my mind, I came up Snake/Snake. This time I intentionally hatstalled to get as many questions as I could.

If this is too many words on top of too many words… I am sorry.

I see that lol! I appreciate that there is no lack of information here 😉

However, this post as it came in was VERY long, even by my standards, and for the sake of readability I've done 2 things:

1) Switched to desktop long enough to put in a cut. It broke the blue color I usually put over my replies in order to make these easier to skim, but I'm not putting it back because it's kind of a huge pain to redo.

2) Trimmed out some of the question/answer pairs. You have plenty, so although I read them all, I just kept those I deemed most relevant. I also skipped a few where my responses would have been repetitive. Just an editing decision I hope you'll be okay with.

That said, let's get on with the Sorting.

Primaries

• If people in your family or community disagree with you, is it hard to act against their wishes?

I’m not sure that I have a community, but yeah, if my SOs think something is a bad idea, I’ll listen and consider. I’m more likely to be the person disagreeing with and trying to convince someone else, though. Also, sometimes it’s plain easier to go along with things to keep life smooth. But if it was something important… I think I’d have to go with what I think is right, regardless of disagreement. I’ll listen to others, maybe I’ll change my mind, but I won’t not do a thing JUST because of the disapproval of my family.

Suggests internal primary, Lion or Snake.

• What’s your top priority?

I kind of hate this one because I want to answer all three. I want to make the world a better place for the sake of me and mine, and that’s one of my goals. Not one I imagine I can accomplish, but it’s something that matters. My kid will probably see a pretty rough world in the future and I wish I could do something to alter that, beyond trying to be an ethical consumer as much as I can.

This answer feels very grounded and practical. I want to say it feels Liony, partly out of process of elimination but mostly because it just does.

• When you’re making a decision and you’re stuck, what should you do?

Idk, panic? No, not really. I seek advice if relevant, don’t if not, seek out any information I can, think about it… make a decision… and proceed to worry about that decision for the next millenia because what if it wasn’t the right one? I usually go with my my gut choice but 1) sometimes I have to go hunting for that, and by sometimes I mean a lot, and 2) I still research the hell out of it.

The way you’ve answered this says more about your secondary than your primary, imo. You might be a Bird secondary.

• Do you listen to your intuition?

I’d like to, but I don’t trust it. I’m too afraid of everything.

Ooh, interesting. It’s worth noting, people who write to me are often Burned at least somewhat, because Burned Houses are always harder to sort; everyone reacts differently to trauma and comes up with different coping mechanisms. Wonder if you’re an at least somewhat Burned Lion who’s pivoted into Snake, perhaps because it fit with your old value set.

• Someone points out a flaw in your logic. Their argument makes sense, but there’s something about it that just bothers you. Do you change your ways because of what they said?

This one always bothers me. It’s not a thing that happens to me often, but I can’t understand not changing your mind in this situation. If someone points out that you’re wrong… well… you’d better go look into that, hadn’t you? Maybe because I’m constantly seeking to understand myself, and I don’t and that frustrates me, but… I don’t know. I agree with and disagree with all the answers.

This seems Bird at first glance, but it seems you’re too conflicted about it to be straight up unburned Bird (and Burned Birds are usually easier to spot because they tend to be wrapped up in the problem/s they’re struggling with). You might have a model or performance, too early to say.

That line about being frustrated that you don’t understand yourself is also a good hint toward an Idealist primary.

• Does disagreeing with your closest friends about something important to you make you love them less?

No, but I might think less of them, and I will probably argue my points at them in the future. Sometimes I change their mind, sometimes they change mine. I turned my SO into a social liberal, he caused me to adjust my stance on gun control. There’s always give and take.

Sounds healthy. That model’s sounding a bit more likely here. I’d be very curious if you turned out to be a burned Lion who actually had a healthy Bird model–that would be rare o.o

• What if everyone you loved left you? They betrayed you, abandoned you, or died, and you’re hurting. What keeps you moving forward?

This question makes me want to tear my hair out, because those are all different things.

If everyone I loved died, I would probably have a massive breakdown, spend a year laying in bed, and then use whatever money I inherited or insurance payouts I got to go try and live the life I’ve always vaguely wanted, traveling. I wouldn’t seek out relationships but I imagine I would, eventually, form new connections. It would hurt, but I would rebuild.

If they abandoned me, or betrayed me, which is… kind of the same, I guess, because abandoning me without cause is a betrayal… well, I would probably be confused, and angry, and curl into a ball and want to die, and then turn into a lifelong curmudgeon the likes of which I swore I’d never be. It would hurt, and I would probably be loathe to trust again.

This doesn’t feel Loyalist, at least.

• What if you realized that absolutely everything you thought was true was wrong? The authorities you’d trusted, the beliefs you’d held, the wrongs you’d fought against?

Another that trips me up. I doubt someone is ever going to convince me that punching down, bullying, or causing unwarranted harm is good. I don’t trust any authority without cause anyway, and I trust no authority to be right on every topic. I trust NASA about space but I’d be more interested in what the forestry service has to say about ecology, in a silly example. I’m not religious so I don’t have any authorities there. My parents were authorities once but it turns out they’re human and sometimes wrong, so…. I feel like I don’t know how to answer this question, because I can’t fathom what someone could tell or convince me of that would be that kind of a gut punch?

So, you don’t really have a system per se, but you do have a set of core ideals. You could call this a Bird model (and… a really healthy one if it is?) or you could call it partially unburned Lion.

• You can’t help everyone in the world who needs it, but you wish you could.

Nah, it would be nice to help everyone and I’m down to eat the rich and redistribute wealth and I firmly believe the point and purpose of society is to care for its populace, so definitely the world should be designed better to make sure everyone has a fair chance at what they want…but it’s not my responsibility to fix it for everybody, nor am I capable of it. I can do a small part, and I try to, but I’m not the savior of humanity.

I think we’ve established you’re not a Badger, although Badgers don’t always fall into this trap.

• You’ve changed your mind about an old belief or moral stricture that you used to value. You got new information and you’ve tried to update your way of thinking, and you think (hope?) you’re a better person for it. Do you feel guilty about the old belief you’ve abandoned?

Do I feel guilty for abandoning it? Not if I realized it was wrong! Do I feel guilty for having had the belief? Sometimes. I was raised in an unthinkingly classist household, and I still feel bad about my instinctive assumptions about people. I’ve worked on it a lot and unpacked a lot of shit, but I was definitely an ass and I regret that.

You have a lot of healthy Bird happening. I’m starting to wonder if your Lion is the model.

If you are a Bird primary, you’re one who builds your system much more than one who adopts it. You also seem very confident in your own perceptions, not unwilling to change but not impressionable.

When it comes to less major parts of your ideals, such as the gun control thing you adjusted your stance on, do you feel satisfied after puzzling things like that out? Or do you kind of hate that you need to?

• The next one is “If I’ve decided to stand by the people I love, it’s a choice. I could make a different decision.” Vs “At the end of the day, some things are right and some things are wrong. You don’t turn your back on the people you love.”

And my problem with that is… both. It is a choice, I could, theoretically, make a different one. But I don’t think it would be right to do so. I think that I would have to have an overwhelming reason to turn my back on my people. Someone cheating one me, or coming to hold beliefs antithetical to me (like if one of my SOs suddenly went TERFy or something), yeah, I would probably turn away, but it would hurt. But it’s still a choice I’ve made, either way.

I don’t think you’re a Snake.

• When you sit down and consider the terrifying lack of objective truth in our reality, how do you feel?

But what is truth? Does this mean truths about the universe, reality, physics, etc? I surely believe there is objective truth and structure there, though I doubt if humanity can discover it all. We are clever little apes, but its a big, weird universe.

Does it mean moral, philosophical truths? Moral relativism all the way babe! I mean, I’m an atheist, and I dont believe there’s one objective truth out there laid down by something supernatural, and I think it has to be something everybody comes to on their own as an accumulation of life experiences. I’ve got a few core things I think are important and the rest just… flows. I went with “the model in our heads is good enough,” because we’ve all got to settle for that in the end, I suppose.

It’s an interesting question and none of the answers quite fit for me. I think part of my trouble with the quiz is how abstract the questions are. “Do you like shortcuts?” Well, I dont know, quiz, what on earth is the CONTEXT? I understand why it’s written that way, but I do wish it was a bit more choose-your-own-adventure, handing me scenarios instead of philosophical abstraction.

You could be a Bird primary.

• When you’re not sure what’s the right thing to do, what do you turn to?

Research, and talking to my people, and then I think about it a bit. Or I just go with my gut and try to figure it out later. Either way I will spend a lot of time thinking about it, either trying to choose or trying to parse the choice I made.

Yeah, you might have to puzzle out which of these is the model yourself. This is a pretty subtle distinction. @wisteria-lodge and I both have posts about this. The appropriate tags on my blog are #ravenclaw primary and #gryffindor primary –if you can get Tumblr to function as intended (mobile search is very very flaky), those should get you the info you want, along with lots of accounts from other people Sorting themselves.

I’m starting to lean towards Bird for you, actually. But again, this is one pair that can be hard to tell apart, and sometimes it gets harder the closer you look at it. Maddening.

• Would you feel worse abandoning a stranger in need or turning your back on your closest friend?

Another one where I want context. If we’re talking identical scenarios – say, they’re drowning – I’d save my friend over someone else, except for maybe a small child… maybe? Honestly I’d probably try to save both and end up dying. But I do prioritize and I’d help my friend over a stranger, sans specific extenuating circumstances on the part of said stranger.

Once again, I don’t think you’re a Snake. I think you’re a Lion with loyalty baked into your intuition, or a Bird who’s picked up some Snakey philosophy.

• After spending some time trying to decide between two options, you are convinced that A is the right thing to do. The people around you, though, are just as convinced that it’s B. How do you feel?

Like I haven’t explained well enough, because they’re not getting why my opinion is the best one. Seriously though, it would make me wonder if I missed something, and I’d probably spend more time talking and researching to compensate. On the other hand… context… am I choosing colleges here (yes, folks, give me your input!) or whether or not to get an abortion (where I would value the input of those directly connected to me, but in the end it’s 100% my choice and those who disagree can eff off.)

When you’re choosing a college, you’re making a tactical decision, not a moral one. Gathering information from others is a Bird secondary thing: you’re doing research.

When you’re making a moral decision, that’s where your primary is involved, and here your answer is strongly Lion.

[I’m skipping a few of the next questions because they don’t give strong information for you specifically. Mostly what they get at is, you’re not a Badger, especially not an unhealthy Badger.]

• Does your internal moral compass know something you don’t?

Well… maybe? I feed a lot of stuff into my brain, and I don’t always know what I think until the words have fallen out of my mouth.

I gotta say, I’m a Bird primary and this sounds terrifying to me. Sometimes I need to write about something before my opinion fully forms, but I write and think so much because I don’t trust myself to talk about it until I’ve poked the issue a bunch on my own.

The only exception is that there are a few people who will take me at my word if I say I haven’t made up my mind about an issue yet, and will listen to me debate it with myself, without judging me for not immediately agreeing with the stance they’ve already taken.

Not everyone is the same, of course, but this answer is a very Lion one.

• If you get a chance to make the world a better place, you have to pursue it– even at the expense of your happiness and personal relationships. Do you think this is a true statement?

If I could throw myself into a volcano to fix everything that is wrong with the world, I would cry and hug everybody I love and regret the hell out of what I was about to do to them and then chuck myself in the damn volcano. I think not doing so would be more selfish.

That is... a totally different thing than this question asked! 😂

However, you've established in previous questions (some of which were cut for length) that you don't feel responsible for fixing/changing the world as a moral imperative, so your answer to this is actually more interesting, lol.

I don't know what it actually says about your Sorting, but I'm leaving it in because it made me laugh.

• Do you think you’re a good person?

Another easy one. Define good! I try to be, within my own belief systems. But I know a lot of people who would not think I’m a good person, because in their belief systems I’m not. I think some of those people are good people, I think some are bad people. Life is complex. I do my best.

This is a pretty Birdy answer. You keep going back and forth! :p I'm probably going to end up leaving you with an ambiguous answer, huh?

If you're a burned Lion, you sound awfully chill about it and you use your ridiculously strong Bird model in an unusually healthy way, for a Lion. Lots of Lions with Bird models really struggle to reconcile the different priorities.

If you're a Bird, you have a ridiculously strong Lion model that seems to actually override your Bird sometimes--but Bird systems are complex and can include weird recursive rules like "in this situation, this other Primary is more right so we use that." Also, your understanding of your system seems more hands-off than a lot of Birds.

• It’s important to do the right thing, even when it feels wrong.

…yeeeeeees…. but. Why does it feel wrong? I would want to investigate that before doing the thing, because if it feels wrong, maybe I’m missing something that my subconscious caught. If I investigate that and am sure about the right, I think… I don’t know. I’m not sure I could do something I felt super icky about even if it was quote-unquote right?

Oh hey, that's my approach to Lion primary too. One point for Bird + loud Lion model?

By now I bet you either have a strong feeling about which of the options I've narrowed down is you, or you'll think about it and go back and pore over the archives here and on the other Sorting blogs. And then you'll think about which approach you took and what kind of a hint that is, which is basically meta-meta-analysis. Except now I've written this and you've read it, so you'll be wondering how reading this will affect your judgment, so it's meta-meta-meta-analysis now.

...I'll stop. 😉

Secondaries

Future Paint here. Tumblr discarded the ENTIRE second half of my response to this post, because I saved it and then hit post without refreshing the page, so it posted the old version, because of course it did.

The tl;dr is that I believe anon to be a rapid-fire Bird secondary with a Lion model.

Brb while I reconstruct this post.

• Do you like going into situations with a plan?

• When you spot a metaphorical obstacle in your path, what do you do?

I would love to, and some situations I do– job interviews, for example – but sticking to a plan is not my strong suit. I can follow a schedule, to some degree, and I can kind of make plans… but then I trip up because how can I account for all contingencies? So I usually end up chucking the plan and YOLOing my way through something on a wave of accumulated knowledge and practice experience.

Not all Birds are big planners. The defining thing is preparation, and that can mean hoarding skills, knowledge, tools and contacts, not just making plans and decisions in advance. A Bird might, for example, decide not to schedule their vacation, and instead read a couple travel guides before they go but wing it when they're there.

This question is one of those where I’d love a less abstract scenario. Because… it depends. In a video game I’ll usually go around. In real life I’ll stop and panic for a minute or a day, then get up and deal with whatever needs dealing with. Unless its a super immediate issue, and then I’m in the middle of it already and have to put off my existential crisis until later (see prior example of “breaking up a dogfight by sticking my arm betwixt them,” see also “i spent much of my teens rolling out of bed at 3am and getting dressed to go help with a foal delivery and I didn’t really start thinking until like twenty minutes after we arrive and start dealing with shit.” Like, I was making decisions and thinking about things, but… its different. They’re not reasoned choices, they’re “this has to be dealt with NOW so do what you can and sort it out later.”)

• Do you like to gather all possible information before making a decision?

I guess I land on needing to understand your problems. You can’t put them off forever, but if you’ve got the time to do some research and contemplation aforehand, that seems like the better choice.

I need you all to know that I didn't cut this dogfight story--I'm not depriving you of whatever wild ride anon had, it's just as much of a Noodle Incident to me as it is to you. However. I don't think I need to argue *too* much that anon has a Lion model.

• Is knowing things or knowing people more useful when solving problems?

Another tricky one, because I think all the answers are correct. I do like to know what���s going on, but at a certain point that IS just stalling. But! It’s true that making decisions without understanding the full picture CAN really mess you up! But it’s ALSO true that, in many situations, I can change my mind if I learn more. I think I lean towards doing All the Research before making a choice, but I’m pretty sure that’s largely a procrastination tactic.

Birrrrd.

Both. Ideally, one would know a range of People who know/have many Things. I’m a big fan of bartering my own skills and knowledge in return for those of other people – for example I am the go-to research person, because I’m pretty good at sourcing info and condensing it into “here’s what you ought to know, here are your options, and here’s where you can go for more information,” a thing which I do freely for my family. In return they do things I can’t or don’t want to, like my taxes or getting things off high shelves or making travel plans or whatnot.

• When your plan fails, what do you do?

I’m better at accumulating knowledge than connections, but I think the right connections are more often useful than said knowledge.

As @wisteria-lodge has said before, some Birds accumulate contacts the same way they gather other tools. They like the be the person to say, "I know a guy."

You're VERY clearly not a Badger. I've cut all the questions that were like "do you do [Badger Thing]" and you were like "NO" so. I don't think you'll need convincing on this point lol

See above… panic then act, unless I don’t have time, in which case act and then panic. Solve the immediate problems, clear some space to breathe, then deal with the rest.

• Do you collect things? Facts, objects, hobbies?

……. do links full of interesting things I fully intend to get around to reading and understanding someday count?

…yeah, this is where I take a look around at my books, games, Interesting Facts, various half-compentent hobby activities, and enduring rage that I cannot possibly know All The Things because I am a mortal subject to the finite bounds of my life and acknowledge that yes. I hoard the SHIT out of both physical and intellectual stuff.

• Do you ever study or plan excessively for things that aren’t useful? Just for fun?

I’m torn between yes, and yes but they have a purpose. I do enjoy learning, i was always good in school, when I could be bothered to care. There are a few topics I enjoy for their own sake – language and history and anything world-building, really, anything to do with who we are and how we got there. But I won’t usually go in depth; most things I skim enough to understand the basic concept and move on, leaving those things as cocktail facts. “Oh, you’re an astronomer focusing on the moons of Jupiter? I read $JupiterFact a while back, what are your thoughts?”

• Do you act differently in different groups? Does it bother you, if you do?

Like, I dont care about the moons of Jupiter unless Titan or Europa or whichever turns out to have life, but space is neat and I’d be excited by that conversation and I’m intrigued by the concepts even if i don’t have the inclination to deep-dive the topic.

These 3 question/answer pairs explain pretty clearly why I think anon is a Bird secondary...

Not very often, and not much. I absolutely utilize code-switching, but I’ve felt bad about not opening my mouth at times when I worked at a place that assumed I was a good little Christian white girl… I’m usually too afraid of repercussions to say anything, but I remember my supervisor saying an atheist billboard was “too much” and I just said “no, of course it isnt” and we gave each other a look like “… well this isn’t good…”

• When solving problems, is your first reaction seeing what “tools” you have in your pockets?

In general though, I’ll use a mask when I need to but I’m just kinda… me.

...and this was what cleared up the Lion secondary model for me.

• When you are deciding how to react to a situation, are your choices most affected by internal (how you feel, what you think, what you want) or external inputs (what’s happening around you)?

…I’m really not sure. I don’t think i actively assess the tools, physical or mental, that I have to hand? I generally know if I DON’T have the resources to deal with something, but if i do have them, I just do the thing and don’t think about it.

That's normal. You just know your toolset well enough that you don't have to think about it. Some Birds don't, or their toolset is eclectic enough (or even granular enough; try remembering all the books you've read that are relevant to a given research paper topic) that they forget what they have.

I think if I knew what I felt, I’d be happy deciding based on internal things, but I don’t know that I trust myself enough.

This answer seems more relevant to your primary. Might be Burned Lion primary peeking through.

And that puts me at a hatstall again.

Sorry for the bombardment, but it seemed like this would be relevant. I know I prefer more info to less, when I’m trying to help someone figure things out, so… words. Many, many words. Thrown at you. Mea culpa.

Hope you don't mind my cherrypicking! This must have been a ton of work for you to write, and I threw a bunch of it away 😭

(Only sort of, I did read it all first.)

In conclusion

Primary: either burned Lion + healthy Bird model, or Bird + loud loud Lion model.

Secondary: rapid-fire Bird with Lion model.

Hope that helps!

#sortinghatchats #paint speaks #submission #gryffindor primary #ravenclaw primary #gryffindor primary model #ravenclaw primary model #burned gryffindor primary #ravenclaw secondary #gryffindor secondary model

[iamselfmade]

ＣＨＡＲＡＣＴＥＲ  ＩＮＴＥＲＶＩＥＷ.      [  repost, don’t reblog ]

𝙱𝙰𝚂𝙸𝙲𝚂.    

name.  “My name’s Hugh! And that’s it. I don’t have a middle or last name.”

nickname. “I don’t really have any nicknames. I have one name and it’s already pretty short. Though Lore sometimes calls me ‘kid’ even though I’m 25.”

age. “Oh, whoops, I said it before, sorry. I didn’t realize it would be a question. I’m 25.”

species. “I have absolutely no idea. Maaaaybe human? I got borg’d as an infant, I really have no clue.”

𝙿𝙴𝚁𝚂𝙾𝙽𝙰𝙻.

morality.  “I had to look this one up. It’s a D&D thing, apparently. I took a random quiz and got neutral good. Which is a good thing, I think?”

religion.  "I don’t follow any.”

sins.  greed / gluttony / sloth / lust / pride / envy / wrath?      -”I... have no idea which of these fit me. I picked wrath because I have to be intense sometimes. Is this a ‘have to choose’ situation? I put a question mark next to it. I don’t actually know what all of this involves. Sorry. I did ask Manny and he laughed at me, if that tells you anything.”

virtues.  chastity / charity / diligence / humility / kindness / patience / justice  -”I also asked Manny for these. He was really nice about it, but I’m taking off the ones I disagree with, which was like three of them. Also, I’ll be completely honest, I laughed at the first one. No.”

known languages. “Most notably the written Borg language and Standard. Though I have a lot of random languages crammed into my head thanks to the Borg. It’s a real weird experience hearing one and knowing the only reason I know it is because someone got assimilated. Like French. French is a language I know now.”

secrets. “Do I have to? Probably. I actually care a lot about Lore and the Borg Queen. Even if I don’t show it. They’re horrible people, but they’re still people, and I do want what’s best for them. I just wish they’d stop being... the way they are. I’m also still pretty mad about the whole ‘let’s make a virus to put in this random Borg drone we found’ plan Captain Picard came up with, even if he didn’t end up going through with it. Doesn’t change the fact I still love him, but yeah. I’m mad. Mad at Geordi for his involvement, too, but still. I love him very much. But I’m mad.”

𝙿𝙷𝚈𝚂𝙸𝙲𝙰𝙻.  

build.   scrawny / bony / slender / fit / athletic / curvy / herculean / pudgy / average.   -”I’m small.”

height.  “5 foot 7 inches. Or 170 centimeters if that’s what you use. Or exactly two of those really big leaves Manny and I found outside.”

scars / birthmarks. “The nice thing about all that exoplating was I couldn’t really get flesh wounds for awhile, so I don’t have a lot of scars. ... Okay Manny’s yelling at me. I have a visible scar. It’s on the bridge of my nose. I faceplanted into rebar while playing with my dog.”

notable features. "Just so many implants. And I’ve been told I have a ‘puppy eye,’ whatever that means.”

abilities  /  powers.  “I can use my assimilation tubules to fix things. Not like assimilating, I can’t do that anymore, thank GOODNESS, more like... a mind meld? Except, with technology? But that’s standard ex Borg stuff. I can lick my elbow! I can also twist my actual arm in a weird way and Two hates it. So I do it as often as possible.”

restrictions.  “I don’t know what this means. I can’t really eat or sleep, I guess? Also I’m heavy because of all the Borg stuff, so I probably shouldn’t walk across a wobbly bridge.”

𝙵𝙰𝚅𝙾𝚄𝚁𝙸𝚃𝙴𝚂.

food.  “I can’t really eat, but I have tried chocolate. I liked it. I also have tried sour fruit. I hated it.”

drink. “I have no clue. I haven’t ever... drank anything...”

pizza topping.  "I can’t eat pizza. My digestive tract doesn’t really work. But I like the idea of peppers. They’re so colorful!”

colour. “Green. It’s a very Borg color, so it’s actually kind of familiar to me, in a weird way. I know it sounds horrible to say, but it’s hard to explain to someone who was never Borg. It’s also the same color of growth and life. The planet I currently live on is very green and it’s beautiful.”

music genre.  “I don’t know if it’s a genre, but I like gentle music. Like, smooth, lyrical music- in the sense that it’s pretty rather than has words to it. Just something soothing to put on in the background when the silence really starts to bug me.”

book genre. “... Romance. I just think it’s cute when people fall in love.”

movie genre.  “Comedy. Humans know exactly how hilarious they are and I love it. Only specific kinds of comedy though. I don’t like it when people are just mean to each other.”

season. “I’ve been loving spring and summer on this planet. I never really experienced seasons before. Still haven’t experienced fall or winter. I’ve never seen snow outside of that moon my Cube crashed on. I hope it snows here this winter!”

curse word. “I don’t really swear, but ‘bastard’ has a certain ring to it.”

scent(s).  “I like the smell of fresh coffee, even if I’d probably die if I drank it, haha! Also, I don’t know how to describe it, but the way it smells on the Enterprise. It reminds me of being with Geordi, Beverly, and Data. It kind of feels like home, I guess. It reminds me of taking my first steps down the path of individuality, realizing what friends were, and all of that. Smell is such a powerful sense. I swear the moment I take a breath on that ship I immediately start feeling safe.”

𝙵𝚄𝙽  𝚂𝚃𝚄𝙵𝙵.    

bottom  or  top.  “I can’t be underneath... people... I don’t think I really have to explain why. I think that’s self explanatory.”

sings in the shower.  “Sometimes, but quietly. Because if I sing loudly, Manny will never let me hear the end of it.”

likes puns. “It has to be a REALLY clever pun. I used to love them, but now I live with Manny and I’m going to lose my mind.”

tagged by: @empathicstars

tagging: @strings-have-been-cut and @afraidofchange

#(I did this ic because it was fun!) #ic; to be me #(it doesn't have to be ic) #dash games; goofing off

[lady-divine-writes]

I’ll Be Your Mirror

A holy message ... a giant mirror ... and one insecure angel. When Aziraphale can’t find anything to love about his body, Crowley steps in to lend a hand. (2084 words)

Written for the inbox ask ‘Take off your shirt.’ 

“Angel!” Crowley strolls through his flat, double-checking new black diamond cuff links and smoothing down his velvet jacket – a relic from a time he’d thought forgotten, that he’d personally bid good riddance to. But Aziraphale mentioned it yesterday over tea, how he’d never gotten around to saying how handsome Crowley looked in it, what with all the Holy Water business going on at the time. So Crowley got out of bed before Aziraphale that morning and miracled the thing up from the dark recesses of his closet. With a skip in his step, he finds (to his utter disgust) that he can’t wait for his angel to see him in it. “Angel, we’re going to be la-ate!”

“I … I know. I’m sorry,” Aziraphale calls back, his voice leading Crowley to the bedroom, “but I don’t think I’m in the mood to go out tonight.”

“But you chose this restaurant! You’ve talked about it all day!” Crowley drops into the bathroom to steal a spritz of Aziraphale’s favorite cologne, then to the bedroom where the angel sits on the edge of the bed, dressed to go out minus his coat and vest, cattycorner to a large, grotesquely-ornate mirror – a recent acquisition from an antique shop gone under, rather unexpected when Crowley saw it wheeled through the door.

Aziraphale collects a great many things, but mirrors aren’t one. Looking at it, it doesn’t seem the kind of thing Aziraphale would own. He’d claimed he liked the feel of it, the golden scroll work along the sides reminding him of Crowley’s favorite chair. Crowley thinks (to himself, because he has no wish to make his angel insecure) that Aziraphale has been trying to add things to Crowley’s flat that are technically his but better belong. Aziraphale has brought plenty of his belongings over – books, blankets, teacups, statuettes and the like, but they get swallowed up in the vastness of the place. The starkness.

And they don’t fit. Against the minimalist décor of Crowley’s flat, Aziraphale’s homely touches stick out like a sore thumb wrapped in a comical bandage, like putting Bugs Bunny stockings on Michelangelo’s David (though, to be honest, Crowley thinks Michelangelo would have appreciated the humor).

He catches Aziraphale gaze into it then look away. A second later, his eyes inch to it again, but this time, he tuts his tongue sharply and his gaze falls to his feet.

“You’re certainly getting mileage out of that mirror,” Crowley teases, watching as Aziraphale glances into it a third time just to look away with displeasure. “I didn’t peg you for the vain type.”

It’s a joke to get Aziraphale moving. He assumes that tut of Aziraphale’s tongue was meant for him and the super tight trousers he’s wearing – trousers Aziraphale had objected to when he first saw them, but couldn’t seem to take his eyes off of when Crowley wore them home from Ferragamo.

His joke, however, doesn’t land the way he’d intended.

He sits beside Aziraphale, cozying up, but Aziraphale immediately gets up and walks a short distance away.

“That just proves you don’t know everything about me, do you?”

Crowley’s head jerks, his brow furrowing at the snap in Aziraphale’s remark. “I guess I don’t,” he admits. “Are you all right?”

“Of course I am.” Aziraphale sniffs. “Why do you ask?”

“You have … a look.”

“A look?” Aziraphale chuckles dryly. “That’s a very scientific assessment. A look.” He stands in an opposite corner with his arms crossed over his chest, staring tensely at the wall’s smooth surface. Crowley, on the receiving end of his cold shoulder, looks about, trying to get an idea of what in the world has gotten into his angel, why he’s suddenly become bitter when the night had been going so well.

Crowley doesn’t see anything out of the ordinary. In fact, for the amount of time Aziraphale has spent in here dressing, nothing appears to be touched, as if he miracled his clothes on (which would be considered, by Aziraphale, frivolous, so not something he’s likely to do). He’s about to give up and outright ask him, prepared to interpret around the sarcastic remark he’s likely to get, when a second sweep reveals something so blaring he’s surprised he didn’t see it the first time. Where Aziraphale had been sitting Crowley spots a white envelope with golden angel wings imprinted on it. The seal has been broken so the letter inside must have been read. Crowley doesn’t need to inspect it closer to know who it’s from. He doesn’t intend on reading it either. He doesn’t want to invade his angel’s privacy. But whatever’s going on with Aziraphale, this dramatic shift in his mood, this has to have played a part in it.

‘Fucking Gabriel!’ Crowley shakes his head. He debates snapping his fingers and setting the thing ablaze but decides against it. Every time he thinks the guy has ducked out for good, he pops up like a rotten apple and spoils everything.

And since everything, for the moment, is their dinner plans, that letter has to be some dig about Aziraphale’s weight – maybe an official notice of inspection aimed primarily at assessing his physicality, something Gabriel no longer has the power to enforce where it concerns Aziraphale so it serves as a dig.

Petty ass Archangel.

Crowley strips off his jacket and lays it carefully aside. Then he toes off his shoes. He reaches out a hand, grabs Aziraphale by the elbow, and pulls the angel toward him. “Come here. Get comfy,” he says, leading Aziraphale gently whilst simultaneously not giving him much choice in the matter.

“What … what are you doing?”

“What are we doing. We’re gonna lie down, you and me, and we’re gonna have a talk.”

“About what?” Aziraphale grimaces as he lowers himself onto the bed, the look on his face a silent commentary on how he feels about the wrinkles that will get embedded in their clothes.

“Why you suddenly don’t feel like going out to dinner.”

“I just don’t. I thought it might be nicer to stay in and read. That’s all. Nothing more complicated than that.”

“A-ha. And this doesn’t have anything to do with that letter with the gold wings on it, does it? I’m guessing you got that, what … about an hour ago?”

“No.” Aziraphale clears his throat of his quick and outright lie. “Not necessarily.”

“Then you won’t mind telling me what it says, right?”

“I’d … rather not.”

“Okay,” Crowley says with a small huff of frustration. “Then let’s talk about this mirror.”

“What about the mirror?”

“You seem to have developed a mild obsession with it.”

“I don’t have an obsession with the mirror.”

“Then why do you keep looking at it, huh? What are you looking for?”

“None of your business.”

“That’s what you think, but that’s not the truth. Not by a long shot.”

“And why not?”

“Because I love you,” Crowley says quietly, less confrontationally. “And if something bothers you, then it bothers me – plain and simple.”

“That’s very nice of you, but …”

“But …?”

Aziraphale sinks into the mattress, his eyes subconsciously finding his reflection in the mirror.

He frowns when he does.

“Still don’t wanna talk, huh?” Crowley surmises. “How about this - I’ll tell you what I think, and you tell me if I’m right.”

“I’m not agreeing to anything.”

“You don’t have to. I know you, Aziraphale. I know when something bothers you. Let’s start with something easy. That letter you got today in its crisp white envelope and gold writing is from Gabriel, isn’t it?”

Aziraphale rolls his eyes. Simple indeed. “Yours is definitely a dizzying intellect.”

“And on account of the way you’re acting …”

Aziraphale gasps. “How am I acting?”

Crowley’s left eyebrow arches to the Heavens. “Honestly?”

“Yes.”

“Bitchy.”

“Flatterer.”

“Like I was saying – on account of the way you’re acting, I’d have to say that it has something to do with your fitness for duty … or lack thereof. Am I right?”

A beat of silence – painful silence. “Don’t ask me. I haven’t agreed to anything,” Aziraphale says softly.

“Of course you haven’t,” Crowley grits through locked teeth. “Let’s try this then – since you seem to like looking in that mirror so much, I want you to look in it. You look in it, and I’m going to tell you a few things it doesn’t show.”

“It’s a mirror, Crowley. It shows me everything. That’s its sole purpose - blunt and unapologetic realism.”

“Maybe. But that doesn’t mean it shows the important stuff.”

“And what is the important stuff?”

“How smart you are,” Crowley whispers, creeping up behind his right ear with a subtle kiss. “How clever. How kind. And you know what they say about people who are beautiful on the inside.”

Aziraphale sighs, done with this quiz show. “What’s that?”

“It makes them beautiful on the outside. And you, my love, are that and more.”

“You’re just saying that.”

“You’re just saying that …” Crowley mimics, “I don’t have to just say anything.” But his tone shifts in the blink of an eye when he says, “Take off your shirt, Aziraphale.”

Aziraphale shoots a glare over his shoulder at the demon looming above him, head propped one hand. “D-didn’t you say we were late for our reservation?”

“Yeah, but I think I like your idea better - staying in for the night. I think this is more important. If we get hungry, we can order take away. From the same restaurant, I gather.” Crowley’s arms encircle him, slipping over and underneath him, his hands unbuttoning his shirt. Aziraphale peers into the mirror as Crowley peels the shirt over his shoulders and down his arms, exposing his chest and his stomach. “Look at yourself, Aziraphale. Take a good, hard look, and try to see the wonderful things I see, hmm?” Crowley kisses the back of his neck, runs black painted nails down his skin, hugs and caresses. Aziraphale watches, his blue eyes roaming his own half-dressed body, trying to find something, anything that he loves about the view. But lying on his side at this angle causes the slack skin of his stomach to settle on the mattress, making it appear awkwardly shaped, like a rotting, sagging pumpkin, twice the size of normal.

He shouldn’t focus on that. That shouldn’t bother him. His body is just a vessel, and he never used to have anything against this one. Besides, Crowley seems to like it. Love it, even. He definitely enjoys it. Shouldn’t that be enough for Aziraphale? All he’s ever wanted for this human form was someone who could appreciate it. And Crowley, the entity he loves, appreciates it.

God, does he appreciate it.

He spends long nights appreciating it.

But with a heavy heart and a shuddering chest, Aziraphale discovers no. It’s not enough. He wishes it were because then he’d disrobe with reckless abandon and indulge in the gorgeous demon licking hearts into his shoulder, mirror or no.

Or yes mirror! He would ask Crowley to make love to him from behind and watch the two of them, revel in the flush that rises in his skin, the areas that tighten the closer he comes to completion, the expression on his face, whether it’s sexy or silly or incandescent. The glow of his aura, the shadows it throws across the planes and valleys of his body, the contrast of Crowley’s body against his.

Then he’d beg Crowley to do it again. And Crowley would. Happily. As many times as Aziraphale wants, in every position Aziraphale could think to ask for.

Because Crowley loves him. He loves the angel Aziraphale. And second to that, Crowley loves his body.

Aziraphale wants to love his body, too.

But he doesn’t.

And no one, not even Crowley, can make him.

“I wish I could, but I ... I can’t,” Aziraphale whispers, a tear slipping down his cheek as he presses his eyelids shut. “I’m sorry … but I …”

“That’s all right, angel. It’s all right.” Crowley stops for the moment to unbutton his own shirt, pressing his chest against his angel’s bare back so he can feel him close. “You don’t have to look if you don’t want to. I’ll tell you all the wonderful things about you that you don’t see.” He wraps his arms around him and plants a kiss on his head. Then another. Then another. “I’ll be your mirror. It would be my honor.”

#good omens #ineffable husbands #crowley x aziraphale #aziraphale x crowley #Frankie writes

[lovemesomesurveys]

Animals Do you prefer cats or dogs? I’m a dog person for sure.

If you had to choose, which animal would you like to be reincarnated as? A dog. 

Some say peoples personalities or looks resemble animals. Whats your animal? Probably a sloth, ha. 

Books Which book series was the first you read? As a kid I loved Nancy Drew, The Babysitter’s Club, Sweet Valley High, and Goosebumps.

What was the last book you read? I’m currently reading Autumn’s Game by Mary Stone.

Would you rather write a book or direct a movie? Write a book.

Characters Which TV show/movie/book character do you think you are most like? Hmm. I don’t know.

Which superhero is your favourite and why? Iron Man, Spiderman, Ant-Man, Star Lord, Thor.

What's your favourite fairytale character? Is Alice in Wonderland a fairytale?

Dreams Do you usually remember your dreams? I’ll remember it briefly and then it like vanishes. My dreams are like a Snapchat.

Are most of your dreams good, scary or just plain weird? Just plain weird, man.

What dream that you've had has stuck in your head the most? Describe: The nightmares or the ones that make me wake up crying and shaking don’t like to vanish, unfortunately. Those get saved to the camera roll.

Emotions What emotion do you find yourself trying to hide from others? I’m definitely not as good at hiding my emotions anymore. They took over and control me now.

How emotional/sentimental would you say you are? A lot. I’m so damn moody.

Do your emotions control you or do you control your emotions? Like I said, they definitely control me. 

Fun What do you do for fun? May not be considered fun, but my days are spent checking my social medias, watching YouTube, watching TV, reading, scrolling through Tumblr, doing surveys, spending time with my family, lounging around, and perhaps a little coloring. I like doing those things, though, so it works for me. 

Which is more fun: cycling, watching tv, roller coaster ride or cooking? Uhh, the only thing I like out of those choices is watching TV.

What is the funnest game to play? I love board games.

Geometry Nearest square thing to you? The throw pillows on my bed.

What was the last circular thing you ate? Cookies.

Is there anything triangular in the room you're in right now? I’m sure, but nothing triangular is popping out at me at the moment and I don’t feel like really looking around and thinking about it.

Height Are you taller or shorter than average? I’m 5′4, which is short, but not shorter than average I don’t think.

Is your Mum tall or short? How about your Dad? My mom is about 5′5 and my dad is about 5′9.

Do you wish you were taller or shorter? I wish I was taller.

If... If you became pregnant or your partner did, what would you do? Well, I can’t get pregnant, sooo.

If you lost something your friend lent to you, what would you do? I would feel really bad, first of all. I’d be nervous to tell them, especially if it was something that was special and unique. I’d of course have to tell them, though, and I’d replace it if possible. If it wasn’t replaceable... I don’t know what I would do. All I could do is apologize immensely and somehow try to make it up to them. I’d be super careful if a friend lent me anything, though, regardless of what it was. I also probably would just not borrow something that wasn’t replaceable or expensive to avoid all of that.

If you had to talk about 1 subject for a minute live on TV, which one? Yikes. That minute would feel like forever, I have no idea. Pass.

Jokes Do you normally tell jokes or listen to the jokes? I’m not a joke teller except maybe some cheesy, corny one I might have heard now and then. 

What is your sense of humour like (dry, dark, sarcastic etc)? I laugh at a lot of things. I like puns and clever humour but I also like dumb things and dry things too. I think it's just really easy to make me laugh. <<< Yeah, pretty much.

Kisses Do you put x's in your text messages? No.

When did you last have a kiss? 8 years ago...

Does your grandma give you big sloppy kisses when she sees you? No. She gives me a big hug and a quick kiss on the cheek.

Language How many languages can you say 'hello my name is...' in? Three.

What language do you think sounds the nicest? I think they’re all unique and interesting.

What language do you want to learn more of? I’d love to be fluent in Spanish. I can only speak and understand a little. Brushing up on it by helping my mom do her Duolingo everyday for the past few months has been helpful.

Marriage Do you ever want to get married? No. I truly don’t see that happening for me.

Church or Registery Office? Dream wedding?

Names Your closest friends names? I don’t have any friends.

What names would you ever call your kids? I don’t want to have kids.

What name is the cutest for a little black and white doggie? I’m someone who needs to see and get a vibe from the dog first before naming them. And not just something that has to do with their color. 

Order Are you tidy? I’m not a messy person, like I don’t have clothes or stuff on my floor, I put my dishes in the sink after using them, I throw stuff away when I’m done, etc, but my room has become disorganized and a bit cluttered. I just have too much stuff and not enough space.

Do you colour code things or put them in alphabetical order? No.

Do you have any form of OCD? No. People throw that around loosely.

Promises Do you make promises often? No.

What was the last promise you made? I don’t even remember.

Do you plan to keep that promise?

Quizzes What types of online quizzes/surveys do you like taking? I like surveys with random and interesting questions that allow me to elaborate. And vent and ramble, too. I like ones like this that are divided up into categories. Themed surveys are fun as well.

Have you ever made a quiz? What was it about? No. I made a survey once a longggg time ago.

Have you ever taken an EQ or IQ test? If so, what did you get? I’ve taken IQ tests and got “above average.”

Responsibility Do you class yourself as 'responsible'? Not as much as I should be at 31 years old. :/ These past few years especially I really feel like I haven’t been responsible with a lot of things that I should be. 

What do you think defines a 'responsible' person? Someone dependable, keeps their commitments, and handles their business. They get shit done.

What is it that you are responsible for? Paying my bills, taking care of myself (haven’t been doing very well with that...), my doctor appointments, cleaning up after myself...

Secrets Do you have a lot of secrets? Not really. I’m quite boring.

"A secret isn't a secret if you tell one person." Is this true to you? Uhhh, that does make sense. You think of a secret as something you don’t share with someone else. I guess if it’s something you tell someone or a few select people that you trust that you wouldn’t want getting out to anyone else it could still be a secret, right? Something you don’t want everyone to know. *shrug*

Thought Provoking If you knew you had a high chance of dying, would you kill yourself before disease riddled you unable or hope for the best? Jeez. I don’t want to think about that.

Choose a box: 1 has a large amount of money, the other either a wish or fear of yours come true. Which do you pick? The money is tempting, but I might go with the wish...

An angel comes to you and offers to show you one thing from the future or the past; past or future and what is that thing gonna be? The future terrifies me, I’d be afraid to know a lot of things regarding my future. But I already know my past, so I don’t know what I’d ask them to show me. I don’t knowwww.

Unlucky

Would you say you are more unlucky or lucky? I don’t believe in luck. I would say I have had a lot of bad cards dealt to me and I also am fortunate in other ways. 

A leprechaun pops up and offers to plant some luck on you but it could go either way. Risk it or dismiss it? Dismiss it.

Violence When did you last hit or punch someone? I haven’t hit or punched anyone.

When did you last get hit or punched? Never.

Are you more likely to be verbally aggressive or physically? I’m not an aggressive person.

Warnings Do you listen when someone gives you a warning? I want to say I would likely listen to a warning, but I guess it would depend what it was about.

What warning has someone gave you that you wish you'd have listened to? That I should have taken care of some things sooner and not ignored/put them off for so long.

What warning has someone gave you you are glad you didn't take? I’m blanking right now. XXX

Have you ever had sex? No.

Have you ever accidentally saw someone having sex? No.

YouTube Do you go onto YouTube? I spend a lot of time on YouTube.

What is your favourite video of on YouTube? I don’t have just one favorite, I have a ton. I’m especially into ASMR.

What channels do you go on the most? I’m subscribed to several people---ASMRtists, vloggers, lifestyle videos, Disney related channels, a mukbanger, a drama commentary channel, and a channel that does videos on abandoned places and the rise and fall of former businesses that are no longer around.

Zodiac What's your starsign? Leo.

What are the traits of that sign? Do you have them? Leos are described as being very opposite of me that’s for sure. I don’t believe in that stuff anyway, though.

What zodiac sign do you think you suit the most? I don’t care.

Number 1 Name me 1 person who has changed your life for the better? My mom.

Name me 1 object that's in your kitchen right now? My Keurig.

Name one creature that freaks you out/scares you? ALL bugs.

Number 2 2nd person that you talked to today was... I haven’t talked to anyone yet, it’s 820AM and my mom is asleep and my dad and brother are at work.

What is 2 times your favourite number? 16.

You and two of your friends have got in trouble with the law. Who are the 2 friends you have got in trouble with and what did you do? No friends, sooo.

Number 3 3 words that don't describe you at all: Healthy, ambitious, confident.

Who is 3rd in your contacts list on your phone? I don’t feel like checking.

In 3 more days, what will the date be? It will be January 25, 2021.

#personal #text #survey #surveys #categories

[glowstickhaloboy]

y’all were really kind to take my personality quiz based on characters from my unpublished novel, so i thought maybe i’d drop the prologue? I realize that’s a whole different ask tho, and a bunch more time to sit down and read, so don’t feel obligated! but if you are interested and want to see what i’m working on, i’d appreciate it immensely <33

it’ll start beneath the cut

prologue—

July 7th, 2008

 Stars are large.

That is one of the first unlikely truths a child learns. They just look small, ardently burning themselves to death billions of miles out of reach.

And Peter looked small, too, as he jammed his skinny body through the middle of an old, juddering tire swing. The swing was the only thing in Uncle Miller’s backyard that the animated little blond boy could play with without needing the help of his imagination. Even at his own house, Peter was accustomed to stick-swords and tree stump obstacle races. A real toy was a novelty. He almost didn’t feel he was allowed.

Once inside, Peter waddled as far back as he could, then paused, possessed by an odd, un-childlike patience. The phrase be good was internalized in him. Wait a little longer, enjoy a fuller reward. Be good. Sit still. Be good. Whenever he visited his grandparents’ old house, however, his uncle purposely turned him loose. Peter became a downright flare of energy. His young, green muscles could not cling tight enough to the tire rubber.

All at once, with a deep breath and a spring of his knees, Peter let the world go. 

The sky pitched backward and forward, whooshing by as he clutched his tether. Every faraway star streaked by in perfectly straight, mesmerizing lines of white. Cold wind. Insect noises. Washed out yellow light spilling down the hill from the windows of the house. A young boy’s pumping heart big enough to fit the world inside and understand it, and understand itself, and all without a word, all with his breath held tight…

He dragged heel marks into dirt dry as cocoa powder, withdrawing from the tire as soon as he had the legs to, and flopped backward into bony summer grass. He ignored the impulse to rip fistfuls out, instead just holding the clumps absently in the sweaty gaps between his fingers, filing away its quiet hum of life. Memorizing. He realized he had missed it.

The rest of the long lawn sloped lazily off, like a map unraveling down a staircase. At the base of the hill stood all the trees of Parchdack. The same ones here lined countless other backyards. They bound the distance between parks and sports fields. They married crumbling fast food restaurants to an iron-gated cemetery. The heart of the town Peter had come to think of as home: everywhere and always right here.

He was so satisfied in his solitude, he’d failed to notice something was wrong, something obvious: one bright star swam adrift in the purpled dusk sky, a wandering flake of yellow ash. 

It was dropping down. Coming closer. It was not very large at all.

The starflake did not blink or dim. Its arhythmic, bug-like bobbing—the way it changed course if it floated too close to a tree or seemed to want to stay within sight of the yard—gave the impression it was aware of its surroundings.

Peter stared. Every thought approached slowly, shyly.

Maybe it was a shooting star? Those would have to land somewhere, after all. Or maybe it was a special small star, undiscovered up until now because small stars were clever and dodged out of the way of NASA’s telescopes. Maybe it was something that knew Peter by magic. Maybe it was going to let him make a wish, a reward for being a good kid.

The starflake drew nearer. Peter, not scared in the slightest, hopped up to look it in the eye. Since it still seemed like it was just light, looking at it should have hurt. But it didn’t. And, it was the strangest thing, but Peter thought he could sense what it was thinking. It certainly wasn’t his own sadness he felt. He felt excited, fascinated, greedy. A miracle of his very own!

“Don’t be afraid,” he whispered encouragingly, trying to gain its trust.

The starflake hovered as if troubled. Then it... whispered. It whispered his same words back to him in an airy, miserable rasp: “Don’t be afraid.”

The previously summery wind blew distinctly cold on Peter’s bare arms, re-awakening his senses. He could feel the very straightness of his spine. His eyes stung with tears from not blinking, and a misplaced thought wandered to the forefront of his mind: did they reflect gold?

The thought of calling for his uncle did not occur. The regular world had fallen away.

“You’re not going to hurt me,” Peter said, then paused to seriously consider. If this creature could talk, albeit stiltedly, what else might it be capable of? But it was too late now. The thing’s attention was fully on him—and this time, when it spoke, its words seemed to be its own. 

“Don’t… give up… on me…”

Peter’s heart winced with confusion and sympathy. He was reminded of his mother’s shoes clicking sharp on the floor after a bad day at work. Of nights when she gave one-word answers and passed the hours smoking cigarettes in her bedroom. If Peter was extra good, if he cracked a joke to cheer her up, if he sat quiet and unobtrusive—she didn’t lose the anger, exactly, but she might make the effort for one smile. Peter had gotten good at paying attention to even the smallest cues, always quick to find the right thing to say, to do, to be.  Even now, he was sure he just had to figure out what the starflake needed to be happy again.

The starflake’s light was fading little by little as it slipped closer to the ground, its descent sagging like a man overburdened. Peter’s hand jerked forward on instinct, but he held back. What if it wasn’t safe—for his sake, or for its? Like how you shouldn’t touch moths’ wings. 

It did not matter. Seeing Peter’s outstretched hand, the creature dove madly into his palm.

And it scalded! Peter flung the creature away on instinct, even if he felt shame as he did. The creature was hurt, panicking… But his hand burned with this heat unlike any pain he’d ever endured before. It had happened so fast. He gasped and managed to keep some air down, watching as an angry red welt bubbled up in the space where his thumb jutted out of his palm. The creature, growing darker by the second, sank smoking into the grass.

With just enough presence of mind to contain the damage to one hand, Peter hastily lunged for it, snatching the creature between two fingers. In the single second before his screaming nerves forced him to let go, he all but threw the dying starflake on top of the tire swing. There its light pulsed weakly, like a wounded chest weathering its last lungfuls of air. 

The rubber tried to burn, but only produced an acrid smell. Peter, meanwhile, stifled his sobs and rocked over the inflamed tips of his fingers, blowing on them to ease the pain. He’d earned three fierce burns: one from catching it, and two from pinching it.

The light went out unceremoniously while Peter was not looking.

It left no remains beyond an inch of mutilated rubber, which tomorrow would look like nothing more than a random blotch on a piece of junk. And Peter’s hand would be okay, too, because injuries healed with time. 

Again, the thought of telling Uncle Miller went ignored. Peter was a good kid who never started trouble or stressed anybody out. He was fine, and it was finished now anyway. It would just be a secret, that was all. Soon, Peter would be the only one able to read the signs that anything strange had ever happened there.

#writes #the adventures of angel kid boy #yes i know i have a thousand versions of the prologue and chapter 1 and what have you saved in this tag #but this is the real one seriously #THIS TIME I MEAN IT #AND if you DO read it #and you DO want to reblog it #the for the record i am okay with that #okay bye

[cardandpixel]

RocketBook Flip - a rare review and it’s not a game!

Before I go any further, I feel I must point out that I don’t have any financial connection to RocketBook whatsoever – this isn’t a piece that was requested or courted by RocketBook or affiliates and I’m not receiving any reward or sponsorship either in product or direct payment for this article. I just like the damn thing and love it when an innovative piece of tech (in this case quite low key) just works. Hi I’m Paul, and I have a bit of a problem with notebooks – A4 lined, sketch, reporters, Black & Reds (ohhhh the sheer number of B&Rs), goofy ones, serious work ones, battered ones, pristine ‘for best only’ ones – and they all fill at an alarming rate. I make notes on everything. Working as a sound engineer and designer, there’s always mix notes, soundscape plots, ideas, VO notes and scripts, SFX ideas etc etc. At home it’s a very different story – it’s much worse. Game notes; blog notes; hurriedly scribbled quiz questions spurred by watching another episode of Mental Floss’ 500 facts about cheese; RPG notes and story ideas; my own script writing; world building; sketches; other creative ideas; song/music notes and ideas; and that’s before we get to to-do lists; and the dreaded ‘things I must remember’. So my journal life is many, varied and plenty. The usual issue is… ‘what frakking journal did I put that amazing idea in????’, and that’s way before we get to the utter horror that is possibly losing a whole journal or forgetting to bring one home from work. I’m 53, I forget more than I recall, and journals help bring some semblance of order to a massively chaotic and fertile brain. What I’ve needed for a long time is some way of organising all this info or centralising it in some way. Sure I’ve looked at apps – I used Things, Evernote, Notes, and One Note for years, and they are really, really good, but they relied on either having a charged device exactly when I need it (yeah – me too) or net access, which for a new-ish theatre, is surprisingly a bit of an issue at work. And the most important part – I actually enjoy the physical act of handwriting long-hand. I still write actual physical letters to people, it’s adorable and a bit creepy in this age, but I call it charming and leave it at that. Handwriting, for me, allows me time to think and process in a way that typing just doesn’t. Handwriting is slower, I rarely cross anything out, and so I always have the whole of the thought. So what I’ve ideally wanted for years, was a reliable way of organising all my notes and storing them electronically so I have access even without the actual journal, with OCR so they’re editable, and still being a tactile handwritten experience. I’m naturally a sceptic (I actually subscribe to Fortean Times – yeah – I card carry!) and so online ads and particularly FaceAche ads are a field day for critical thinking triggers. I don’t think I’ve ever received from Wish, exactly what I ordered from Wish. And so when an ad from RocketBook constantly kept popping up on my timeline a few weeks ago, I was naturally “it’ll never work” But their website looked legit enough – they had a dedicated UK shop, it was relatively steep to buy in but not so wild that if it didn’t work I wouldn’t be crying too much about the money wasted, and at the end of the day it was a 10th the price of a ReMarkable 2 which is actually what I thought would solve my problem. I’m furloughed at the mo and though I could argue the case for £300+ notebook (test me, I could), I just couldn’t justify it now. And RocketBook had a good summer intro offer. I ordered on the Wednesday, and the impressively glitzy and graphic-design-playbook poly package was dropped on my doorstep just 2 days later by my cheery postie who yelled up the drive “Package for ya, looks very exciting!!!!” I like that our postal service is still invested in the hopes and dreams of their customers. It was exciting. All the instructions for getting started with my new Teal RocketBook A4 Flip were right there before you even open it. The main body houses the pad and a cleaning cloth, and a clever little side pocket houses the supplied Pilot Frixion pen.

RocketBooks come in several models, all configured slightly differently. I have the Flip which is a top spiral-bound softback pad with 21 double sided ‘pages’ giving 42 pages in total. The Flip has lined paper one side, and dot paper on the reverse (great for D&D maps, impromptu tables, mixer channel plots etc)

DELIVERY & FIRST IMPRESSIONS The pads are nicely made, with sturdy covers (available in some really nice colours too) and a solid, thick plastic ring binding. Initially, The RocketBook does feel a bit odd. Its ‘pages’ are actually a synthetic polyester blend and feel quite shiny to the touch. The sort of surface you just instantly feel is not going to be great for ink! Each page is edge-to-edge lined or dotted with a heavy black border. At the bottom is a prominent QR code used for scanning and some very feint icons. These 7 icons are the key to the ease of use of the RocketBook series. But more later.

THE APP

The pads work with a companion app, that is absolutely free and available for Apple & Android. In fact, RB even do downloadable printable pages so you can try the whole system absolutely free before you buy – I didn’t, I just bought one, y’know. The app allows you to set up your destination locations, your preferences and does the actual scanning. Just one quick note, I have the app on both my phone and iPad and had to set-up the app the same for both, there appears to be no way of swapping preference settings between devices, though I can see why this may be intentional.

Currently, the RocketBook allows you to choose from the following locations to send files to: GoogleDrive, box, EverNote, DropBox, slack, OneNote, iCloud, OneDrive as well as simply to an email (or multiple) addresses and iMessage. Impressively, these are not fixed either, so you could choose your 7 destinations to be 7 email addresses of team members. These 7 locations are the icons at the bottom of each page. To select a destination for your file, you just make a mark in that icon box (tick, circle, something unsavoury) and that page will be sent to whichever you select. This makes the system very flexible indeed as not every page is necessarily sent to every destination. You always decide every time you fill a page. Change your mind on a second revision? No problem, add or change icons at any time and re-upload.

There’s a really handy table on the inside front cover for you to note what icon sends what where. This is also wipeable, so can be changed anytime.

I have mine set by default to:

Rocket > main email address (either as PDF, JPG, OCR embedded or as separate txt file)

Diamond > GoogleDrive (you can specify exactly what folder too)

Apple > iMessage

Bell > OneNote

That actually still leaves me 3 spare: shamrock; star; and horseshoe.

The app took me maybe 20mins to set-up, that included decision time for destinations and setting up a few target folders. It also included a few ‘test firings’. I didn’t get everything right first time and a few things didn’t send, but crucially, a tiny bit of digging revealed very simple troubleshooting (including the aforementioned issue with no sync’ing of phone and iPad), and all in I was finding the files in all the right destinations within about 30 mins. The website, FAQs and community are immensely helpful with any other issues as well. I had a tiny issue with OneNote seeming to take ages to sync, but I think that’s an issue with my OneNote settings, everything else was almost instantaneous. You can also handily set the app to auto-send as soon as it scans, or allow for manual review.

CLEAN UP ON AISLE ROCKETPAD The main reason I wanted to look at the RocketBook was the issue of reusability. My journal shenanigans are by no means the biggest ecological disaster on the planet, but if we are to believe Tesco (who probably issue as many receipts at our local Tesco Express in a day as journals I’ve ever used), every little helps. If I could find an ecologically better solution, I should at least take a look. The RocketPads work by partnering with Pilot pens called Frixion. The really clever bit is RB’s paper technology and how it works with the Frixion ink. At present, the pads only work with the Frixion pens – except the RB Colour which works with Crayola’s dry-erase crayons. When you write on the ‘paper’ with a Frixion pen, it remains wet for a few seconds and then dries pretty quickly. There’s no smudging whatsoever in transit, which is pretty cool. From then on, it may as well be permanent, until you have transmitted your page and decide you don’t want the text anymore.  To wipe the page clean, you can dampen the supplied cloth and just wipe the surface clean, it’s weird but it works! But then damp cloth in your bag? So I use kitchen roll to dampen, then wipe dry with theirs. Others even have an adorably kitsch spray bottle in their kit. RB reckon if you are not going to use the pad for a few months, to clean the pages as the ink can get trickier to shift after a long time, but for day-to-day use, I’ve tried writing and wiping well over 20x and the page hasn’t become discoloured or tarnished at all. The only pad different in the range is the Wave which cleans by microwaving! Do NOT do this with any of the others, bad things will happen. The ink doesn’t take scrubbing or any time to come up, I clean my pages in about 10-15s. The page can feel a little tacky when it’s damp, but leave a minute or so and the page will be back to normal. RB do say that odd things can happen if the book is left near a heatsource or in a hot car, vis-à-vis, the ink can completely disappear horrifyingly enough. They say that putting the pen or the pad in the freezer for a little while will actually restore the ink, but I’ve not tried it yet so can’t confirm or deny how that goes. Handy for spies in hot countries though, so there’s another target market. If you are always going to send your pages to the same places, then don’t erase the marked icons, and the page is ready for new notes straight away, otherwise, scrub them too.

I CAN’T READ YOUR WRITING – ARE YOU A DOCTOR? Initially, the RB pads send their files as scans of the pages in high contrast monochrome (colour is available) when you snap the page in the app (which auto-frames for you and takes maybe 10s to capture). The formats are either as images or PDF. If that had been it, I would have been quite happy, but the RB pads have another trick up their sleeve. Firstly, they have a function called ‘Smart Titles’ which allows you to name your files directly from the page by writing a filename between double hashtags ie ## this is my scrawl 24/8/20 ## and the file will pop up in your destinations with the filename “this is my scrawl 24/08/20” – this is insanely handy – there’s no protocol except your own and the hashtags, and it makes your files super easy to search. You can even send groups of pages as a single PDF. But the notebooks go even further. They actually offer full searchable OCR which the app can be set to send embedded in the PDF or image, or more usefully, as a companion separate .txt file. Now, my handwriting isn’t the neatest, but it’s not bad so I was prepared for some editing to be necessary, but impressively again, the OCR was about 90-95% accurate. In a page of text it missed maybe 3 or 4 words and even those not badly. This is all considering their full OCR is still only in beta! It gets confused with diagrams on the page, but that’s to be expected.

Text Generated by OCR: ## Blog post och test Aug 2020 ## This is a little demonstration of the OCR capabilities of the Rocket Book pads and app. I've told the lovely people that the hit rate is about 90-95% so please dant let me down here flip pad. Hopefully the file name will also prove another point further up in the section and not make me look like some charlatan or snake-oil salesman.Hope you enjoyed this demonstrahen, now go away and leave me to write the next great novella.Bye!

HOW MUCH? On average, I pay anywhere from £4-8 for a decent A4 notebook/journal, so at £30-37 (dependent on model), the RocketBook pads are not a whim purchase. That said, I get through a lot of journals in a year, and given that I would expect to easily get 2-3 years out of a RocketBook pad, then I’ve saved money. Will it replace all my notebooks? No. You need to be thinking of carrying this round as a kit: pad, Frixion pen (at least 2), and cloth.  RB do a series of portfolio sleeves for the pads but it does push the price up a bit still, but for a rep, engineer or salesperson, this still makes sense. They’re less bulky than a normal A4 pad too. What I would say is Tesco and Sainsbury’s currently stock Frixion pens and at much better prices than buying them from RB directly, I just paid £3 for 3 pens on offer at Tesco compared to £10 from RB. You get one pen with the pad, but you’re going to want more soon, so stock up next time you’re shopping for truffle oil crisps. If you use whiteboards a lot, RB also have you covered. Instead of the pad, £16 will get you a 4 pack of ‘beacons’ – little self-adhesive triangles that effectively do the same thing as the QR code in the pad. You don’t have the icon options obviously, but if you’re looking to distribute quick meeting or group notes, this would be a boon. CONCLUSION Considering this was a fairly speculative purchase on my part, my early experiences with the RocketBook Flip have been really impressive. The flexibility, the ability to store every page in a different location if you really wanted to make it fantastic for organising my notes, which can save me hours of finding the right ^^$&^$&$ notebook in the first place, then scouring that for the one paragraph I was looking for etc etc. The searchable text facility, in-app history for re-sending etc and last but no way least, functional handwriting OCR, makes the RocketBook not only novel, but actually useable! Would I buy another? As a second notebook – yes. I look forward to seeing what the actual longevity of the product is once I come off furlough and start cramming my day bag with all my junk and a notepad again, but yes, I’d probably just have one at home, and one for work, but make the last 5 mins of each day, scanning and sending work notes so I have them with me wherever. Impressively, the RocketBook Flip just works and it works well. ‘Er Across The Table has already sold several folk at her work on the idea and she doesn’t even have one herself yet! I love it. It’s taking a little adjusting to, but it’s all good. The most important thing though is the writing experience, and I have to say, the combination of the Frixion pen/ink and the polymer technology of the Flip, again, just works. It’s smooth, doesn’t skip or smudge for me (I know some right to left users and left handers have reported some issues) and feels great to write on. If anything I have to slow down a bit as the contact is so smooth that your writing can get a bit ahead of you! RocketBook have produced a cracker of a product. It might not seem like much, but if practical working journals are your thing (ie not create and keep things) then I can highly recommend the RocketBook series.