Matt: Guys, I don't think we can mansplain or manipulate our way out of this one.
Danny: What about malewife?
Luke: No.
Jessica, cracking her knuckles: Manslaughter it is.
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incorrect vigilantes part 2
Foggy: Five little monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and…
Claire: Was diagnosed with mesothelioma.
Karen:��Mama called the doctor and the doctor said…
Matt: You may be entitled to financial compensation if he or a loved one dies.
Brett: STOP RUINING MY CHILDHOOD
---
Peter: Throw lamps at people who need to lighten up, and throw handles at someone who needs to get a grip!
Luke: Throw a refrigerator at someone who needs to chill.
Danny: Throw scissors at someone who needs to cut it out.
Matt: Throw microwaves at people who need to get fired up.
Jessica: Throw a brick at someone to kill them.
Claire, who just woke up to feed her cat: Why are you people in my apartment, and how are you all still alive
---
Luke: If I say I love you, will you say it back?
Jessica: Yes.
Luke: I love you.
Jessica: It back.
*Later*
Peter: Why is Luke crying on the floor?
---
Jessica: So, are you two dating now?
Matt & Foggy: Yes.
Jessica: Why?
Matt: I happen to find Foggy very appealing.
Jessica: Yeah, I can understand that. I'm trying to figure out what's wrong with Foggy.
---
Peter, to Mary Jane: Would you like to stay for dinner?
All the vigilantes simultaneously: WOULD YOU LIKE TO STAY FOREVER?
---
Mary Jane: Oh, to be a bored heir to the throne who keeps rejecting marriage proposals due to being secretly in love with the cute gardener.
Peter: Oh, to be a cute gardener who secretly places roses in the heir’s room because he's in love with her.
Luke: Oh, to be the palace guard who discreetly helps to boost the cute gardener up the wall for his secret deliveries in the middle of the night.
Matt: Oh, to be the heir’s best friend witnessing the two fools dance around each other while knowing damn well that the two like each other.
Danny: Oh, to be the noble suitor from another royal family who comes to know of their love instantly and plans an entire plan to get them their happy ending.
Jessica: Oh, to be a medieval peasant who knows nothing about the heir’s personal life and who dies of dysentery at age 23.
---
Jessica: *running towards Trish with open arms*
Trish: *moves out of the way*
Jessica: Hey, why'd you move?!
Trish: I thought you were going to attack me.
Jessica: I was going to hug you!
Trish: Why would you hug me?
Jessica: WHY WOULD I ATTACK YOU!?
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