#when the real actual issue is how people treat each other to begin with

[a-cat-in-toffee]

me: yeah im gonna go to sleep

also me: *proceeds to send my friend 650+ words of pepsisprite analysis*

thinking about john being a literal embodiment of the narrative and davesprite being an embodiment of the game. the game and the narrative are intrinsic to each other's existence, but without each other they would be useless. what's the point of the game if no ones watching, and whats the point of watching if no ones playing? john and davesprite’s relationship sort of mirrors that, davesprite wouldn't exist as a sprite if john had never died, but john WOULD have died if davesprite didnt save him. they're necessary to each other's creation and to each other's continued existence and relevance. 

they're the world's shittiest soulmates because their relationship is so riddled with the game and narrative but davesprite and john are tied together in a way which ends up with davesprite always ending up right next to john again. johndirk and pepsisprite are very related what with davesprite mirroring dirk in a bunch of ways, but the difference between the two ships is mainly when they would happen imo. (canon) johndirk can only work postcanon, mostly because they simply don't actually get to meet each other until then, whereas pepsisprite HAS to happen during the game, the 3 year trip to be precise. 

all they had were those 3 years together, really, before everything went to shit. obviously they had known each other before then, but that was john and dave. the "real" dave, before the specifications had to be made. it's kinda sad how because of the timeframe that pepsisprite would be able to work out in, they could never actually have a relationship. like they were both dealing with their own issues (most of which never were resolved, not fully) but it mightve fixed them tbh.

thats really why I'm a big fan of back to the beginning post game aus that include the splinters because their stories are never really completely resolved, most of them are sort of just brushed away or swept into something new (e.g. davepeta)

also going back to what I said earlier on how johndirk mirrors pepsisprite in a way, it does! but there's a lot of nuance to the situations? davesprite is more like bro than dave is, thus making him more like dirk, but he's still a dave yknow. pepsisprite is actually a closer parallel to jakehal, especially by the end of the boat trip with the vaguely antagonistic relationship the two of them have.

actually i think they should be kismesis sometimes as a treat. john has so much emotion and anger built up and having somewhere to vent out that frustration would probably be really good for him. at the same time, though, they're also moirails because john and dave are quite literally the closest humans can get to moirallegiance. john and davesprite transcend quadrants in the actual definition of it, embodying the quads all at once instead of vacillating.

davekat (a ship most people consider to embody all quads) sort of does something similar, however a lot of the time their characterization is of vacillation between redrom and blackrom vs where pepsisprite is happening simultaneously. 

davesprite *is* proud of john and he does really love his friends, however because of the trauma he went through growing up (which was later reinforced by all the shit that went down in the game) he can only express so "ironically" or backhandedly, and john is so repressed to hell and back that *he's* not even sure what emotions he's feeling half the time

I think the fact that the two of them can so effortlessly communicate despite all that, though, really shows you their relationship. john can see the genuine in davesprite's "ironic" statements, and davesprite can pick out john's feelings through all the happy freedom bullshit. they communicate so well despite everything because they're best friends and because they've known each other so long. davesprite is important to john just like john is important to davesprite, and they always end up right back next to each other.

#john egbert #davesprite #johndavesprite #pepsisprite #homestuck #hs meta #homestuck meta #they never leave my fucking brain y'all

[k-noodl]

#just sayin #kinda hate that we'd sooner make a whole new word for people that are slightly different than another group of people #just bc they don't want to be associated #and hope that having a new label will change how they're treated #when the real actual issue is how people treat each other to begin with #labels are shitty bandaids for bigger problems that no one wants to tackle at the root and im sick of it!!! #i dont care if it takes generations of work to change #it has to start somewhere!!! #needlessly adopting new labels to save onesself from being treated like they have another label just enables monolithic thinking!!! #we could have a billion labels and people will still be shitty and monolithic about it if they aren't taught not to!!! #escapism is not a cure!!! #lisa meme #lisa simpson #meme #sorry had a long talk about autism and how it's treated and trying to separate asperger's and autism just aint gonna fix shit #how about just making sure we have specialists or treatment that are INFORMED about the differing needs across the spectrum #and specialists for those different spots on the spectrum #instead of just trying to distinct ourselves from those with “lower functioning” #and dont forget that legally identifying yourself as more functional will just #give our current doctors/legislature MORE reason to deny us treatment #as someone who gets denied treatment again and again and again for being too functional you DO NOT want a legal distinction!!! #you want to CHANGE THE FUCKING SYSTEM not YOUR LABEL!!!

[scientia-rex]

I've been trying to figure out what the deal is with prediabetes so I can write a meaningful response to an ask I got about it, and I just keep going wait--okay--here's one paper--but here's another one--here's a Cochrane review--but here's a different meta-analysis--and here's newer data from an RCT...

It's nuts! It's bananas. And anybody who says we have good, crisp, clear guidelines around what prediabetes even IS, much less what to do about it, is FULL OF SHIT.

What I really need to know in order to feel more confident about my handle on whether to medicate pre-diabetes is the population incidence. Not prevalence. Because if I take the most optimistic studies about medication as an intervention, specifically, I could be looking at about a 30-40% reduction in risk of progression to diabetes. But! How many people is that, actually? Because medication is not without its harms! We need to compare number needed to treat with number needed to harm, we need to have high-quality evidence that says yes, if we give this medication to everyone who meets X level of criteria for pre-diabetes (it's different in different sources AND it's changed repeatedly over our lifetime!), we will see a level of benefit sufficient to justify making these other people who would not have progressed to diabetes without it endure the hassle and side effects of taking a medication for the rest of their lives.

AND HERE'S THE REAL FUN PART: we don't really know where tissue damage begins! We thought we did! 6.5-7ish A1c. But it turns out there is a marked risk of retinopathy beginning at 5.5! Which is considered normal. AND ALSO we should probably be thinking of it as at least three separate disease based on our current ability to measure--A1c is a broad marker that collapses multiple forms of dysregulated blood sugar, and when we use more fine-grained tests, we see meaningful distinctions that probably affect preferred treatments between people who have impaired fasting glucose, people who have abnormal values on an oral glucose tolerance test, and people who have both. We should treat these groups differently because they reflect different underlying pathways: elevated fasting glucose means your liver is breaking down too much glycogen while you sleep, which is one issue, while elevated post-prandial glucose means your skeletal muscles (OR SOMETHING ELSE they're not totally sure) are behaving abnormally in response to insulin. IT'S NOT THE SAME THING and people with both impaired fasting glucose and abnormal post-prandial glucose are at higher risk of progression to diabetes/tissue damage than people with just one of those. AND WHILE WE'RE AT IT, what is diabetes? What's the best cutoff? What's the best measure? How many underlying pathophysiologies are getting collapsed into the same group????

THE MORE I LEARN ABOUT THIS THE MORE QUESTIONS I HAVE and experts are all being serenely confident while contradicting each other so I have to actually dig in the data a lot harder than I usually do. I've been meaning to do this for months, but one of the presenters this morning made a comment about the benefits of putting prediabetics on metformin that made me go "hm, do I need to start doing that?" and I've gone from my kneejerk answer being "no, we studied this and it doesn't help" to "I don't fucking know and neither does anyone else."

...as always, Cochrane is probably right.

#the attending dr. kristophine

[bestbeest]

Service Dogs and Prong Collars

While I personally am a very hippy-dippy +R trainer, and do not use a prong on my dog, I wanted to make a post in response to the common notion that "no real service dog uses a prong collar." I've seen this sentiment several times in the last week or so and it's worth discussing, especially given how harmful 'fake-spotting' can be to service dog teams.

Let's start with some context about the prong, first. Unlike some training tools, it's not an inherently aversive tool, in that if no pressure is applied to it (i.e. the leash is not pulled at all), it doesn't pinch or poke. A certain level of force has to be applied for the prongs to pinch the dog. I am NOT saying that prongs are not typically used aversively or that they do not ever hurt the dog. What I'm saying is that the prong itself is just a magnifying tool, which magnifies small amounts of pressure from the leash by focusing them on very small specific points.

I also want to note that some professional service dog trainers do use prongs as aversive training tools, and while I am personally of the opinion that if your dog is service-dog quality, you should not NEED aversers to train it, other valid professional trainers in the field do use them to turn out well-bshaved effective service dogs. And of course, many unskilled owner-trainers rely on them to bridge the gap between their lack of training experience/skill and the extremely high behavioral standards required of service dogs (yes, you CAN very slowly train a dog not to sniff other people by reinforcing it each time it chooses not to and then fading out treats; you can also just do a quick leash pop when it leans over to sniff someone, and the dog will get the memo much more quickly and without the level of skill at timing needed). So this post is not intended to denigrate balanced trainers who use the prong as an averser, either.

That in mind, here are a few reasons that that service dog you just saw might be perfectly legitimate AND wearing a prong collar!

The dog was initially trained on a prong and now associates it with going into 'work mode.' Service dogs need some kind of cue to tell them when to be extremely professional and serious, and when they're okay to just be a regular old dog. My dog loves going up to people and saying hello, but obviously he can't be doing that kind of thing when he's on duty. Knowing that, I decided from the beginning to teach him that the signal was wearing a certain vest, and being 'naked' meant he could goof off. Other handlers use different signals, and if the dog was initially trained using a prong, that may be its de facto signal to get serious.

The handler's disability gives them hand strength issues and even a very small pull can cause them to drop the leash. In this case the prong provides noticeable pressure much earlier than a flat collar would and reminds the dog to be very gentle with their person.

The handler's disability gives them balance issues and even a very small pull can cause them to fall over. See above.

For some reason (cerebral palsy, wheelchair user, grip strength issues, etc), the handler needs a communication tool that can magnify very small movements of the leash into something the dog can notice and understand. I actually considered using a prong for this reason, so that I could just put a small amount of directional pressure on the leash to signal to my dog that we were turning one way or the other, but ended up going with a different method. Because the prong condenses the total amount of leash pressure into smaller, stronger points, instead of distributing it broadly the way a flat collar does, much smaller or subtler movements of the leash or the handler's hand can communicate a cue to the dog!

This is just one example of why it's so important not to assume that a service dog team is fake because they don't look the way we normally expect service dogs to look. There's an incredibly wide range of disabilities out there that affect people in a myriad of ways, and even more ways they navigate and manage those disabilities. Taking photos of people and posting them online, talking about them behind their back, or even harassing them about their legitimacy in person can be incredibly harmful and can lead to disabled people not getting the support and resources they need. Think about that the next time you see a service dog that doesn't meet your expectations!

#service dog #dogblr #service dogs #my textposts #education posts

[ddarker-dreams]

Lock, what DO you love and like so much about Dostoevsky's work? I don't think you've ever talked about that. Please, I want to know !!!

^o^

(christianity mention jump scare below proceed with caution)

i thought this would be an easy to answer but figuring out how to put my feelings into words proved difficult .

the beginning is always a good place to start, so let's go with that. by chance, i happened upon this video on youtube and gave it a watch. about halfway in i decided i had to read notes from underground for myself. i struggled to understand what the narrator was trying to get across. the unique writing style, where the reader is addressed directly, as if in challenge, helped me preserve.

i think part of what makes his work special to me is his depiction of people. and they really do feel like people more than characters, even if some of their characteristics are unique to the era dostoevsky wrote in. everything else about them transcends time. i can see myself in some of them. whether it be the titular idiot, prince myshkin in his naivety; alyosha, who goes from devout to doubting; and ivan, whose bitterness toward religion masks his disappointment at the state of the world. 

that's why the brothers karamazov touched me in particular. for some context, i grew up in a christian household and was heavily involved in the church (american northeast white baptist strand of church). around when i was 11 or so, the introduction of left-wing politics through social media had me undergo a looooong identity crisis. these new ideas felt at odds with what i'd spent my entire life believing. what i grappled with the most relates to ivan's anecdote, the grand inquisitor, where the goodness of god is called into question. the bitterness, the disappointment from crushed expectations, all those sensations resonated strongly with me. reading it as an adult who (supposedly) 'healed' from that time period in my life was like opening pandora's box. i'd never seen my thoughts and struggles so accurately described, or treated with more than a 'his ways are higher than our ways' type platitude. i stuffed these concerns of mine away because they only ever served to make me feel worse.

i won't delve deep into the Depressing Lore. the only reason i mention it is to stress how profound an impact the work had on me. throughout the remainder of TBK (and in most of dostoevsky's discography), the best and worst of humanity is shown. our hypocritical nature, capacity for evil; nothing is shied away from or made more palatable. and yet, throughout it all, our potential for good is shown too. whether it be in the little acts or monumental self-sacrifice. sometimes those acts are honored, or ‘worth it,’ sometimes they aren’t. it’s cheesy but whatever i’ll say it — choosing to love and serve others is my greatest joy. i don’t really need a definitive answer to those problems i struggled with. that’s the takeaway i’ve had from his work. it might not seem like a big deal, but not feeling guilty for having certain doubts or anxious over those doubts never fully being resolved was. very significant for me. and healing (for real this time). 

so that’s the sentimental perspective GJSDLKFJS from my writer’s perspective, i can only describe him as brilliant. his grasp on the human psyche is incredible. he can accurately describe so many emotions, worldviews, and give the context necessary for each one to feel organic and real. it’s vivid, too, in a way i can’t properly get across. everyone’s unfiltered and messy. characters contradict themselves in the same sentence. they’ll murmur, go off on tangents, tell stories, misquote the bible (or many other significant works), and just be overall disasters. aka how people actually are. 

the man’s also funny as hell. the protagonist from crime and punishment has a mental breakdown spanning multiple pages over a sock. yes, there’s context, but that’s still the gist of things. then there’s the issue of the hedgehog in the idiot. hedgehog drama. 

ultimately, his work is so very human. there’s commentary on issues that are prevalent to this day, multiple centuries later. the topics he touches on tend to align with what i care about most. whether i agree or disagree with what i’m reading, there’s always something i glean from it. something meaningful that sits with me long after i close the book. i’ll mull over it and bother people in my vicinity until they mull over it too. no one is safe. whether it be a co-worker or my dad who drives noticeably faster to reach our destination and be free of my many questions.

i could keep going but this ended up being long enough GJSKDF i hope at least something here makes sense?>?? i apologize for the incoherent ramblings. it's what the dude does to me.

#dostoevsky fanclub #answered #Anonymous

[blakeswritingimagines]

Wednesday characters with a southern s/o

Wednesday: She has found you to have a very charming voice. She does not think your southern drawl is very hard to understand or very annoying but she won't tell you that, but it does get on her nerves when you occasionally use words that are grammatically incorrect. Such as saying "I seen.." She has explained to you that saying "I have seen.." would make more sense when recounting an event but if you keep doing it she does find a soft spot for it, she has learned to like your accent. It’s very attractive, especially the way you pronounce “Wednesday”. She enjoys that you can make all kinds of southern phrases sound lovely to her. She loves it when you call her your “little witch”, or your “mischief” Since she will often hear you call other people darling and sweetheart.

Enid: Having an attractive southern romantic partner is a treat that not many others have. Enid loves having a southern sweetheart in her life because you always treat her with respect and adoration. She thinks you're always extremely polite and chivalrous, opening doors for her and pulling her chair out at restaurants. She doesn't like it when others try to get you wound up and listen to your accent get thicker but does love hearing how you say the same thing as her just differently and it's always a surefire way to cheer her up.

Xavier: Oh, he thinks it's a lot of fun. He loves your southern drawl, and he finds it to be so cute and charming. Even when you get mad, and start swearing up a storm, he can't get mad it's just so adorable. It is a little annoying sometimes as not everyone understands your accent, which can cause some misunderstandings especially after he noticed your southern drawl gets a lot thicker when he teases you playfully. Loves it when you start being a bit sassy toward him if he pushes too far. When you both tease each other, you both can often go into a bit of a little argument, and he can tell your trying to resist laughing a bit it's actually really adorable to him.

Rowan: He thinks southern accents are the most attractive accents in the world. He can't get enough of your sweet southern accent and dialect. He absolutely melts whenever you say "y'all, bless your heart, sugar, baby, mama, honey, dear, sweetheart, babe, sweet-tea, etc", It's rough sometimes. Especially because you can speak too fast for him and sometimes the words just mash together like goulash. He'll think the biggest issue is when you use "y’all" because he keeps thinking you're talking to or about multiple people. But the real icing on the cake is when you say “I love you” or when you call him “Honey”.

Tyler: He thinks it can be frustrating sometimes because he has to concentrate on everything you say or tell you to repeat/slow down so he feels like he has a chance. He has wished you would just be quiet sometimes and stop speaking like he teases by saying, cowboy. Your accent was one of the reasons why he fell in love with you though. It’s unique and not everyone gets to hear it every day. It’s just adorable but he was confused when you said you liked his accent even if it is to tease him.

Ajax: It was not easy to understand you in the beginning. But once he got used to the accent, he found your accent absolutely cute he guesses he is now used to it and he likes it even if people do have to come to him asking what it was you said. He finds it unique and it makes you special to him. (If you were to try to get rid of your accent or hide it, that would feel like some part of you was gone and he wouldn’t like that. A thick accent is actually part of who you are).

Bianca: She thinks having a southern romantic partner is lovely but also a challenge in some ways. You both come from different backgrounds and you each want the other to embrace your cultures. This is great because it brings more color and culture into your lives and your relationship. However, it can also create tension since you both need to learn to appreciate and respect the other's culture. The challenge is worth it, but it does take effort and compromise. In the end, has really come to enjoy when you sweet talk her more so when you will use words commonly regarded as a sign of endearment such as "darling" and "sweetheart" to describe her as you think that she is most pleasant and attractive.

#wednesday addams x reader #enid sinclair x reader #xavier thrope x reader #rowan laslow x reader #tyler galpin x reader #ajax petropolus x reader #bianca barclay x reader #wednesday headcanons #wednesday hcs #thank you to the anon that requested this!

[vegasandhishedgehog]

It's easy to complain about how MSP left any address toward homophobia to the last episode and it remained fairly mild but I really wanted to point out what things about it were incredibly significant.

They could have kept it like Bad Buddy where it was a universe where it didn't really exist or just wasn't mentioned. They could have totally done that. I wouldn't have blamed them for that choice either, considering the tone of the series remaining so lighthearted throughout. Homophobia is more than just a serious issue - it can have dangerous implications. The closest this show wanted to get with danger was Gun's mom needing surgery, so before watching the episode I was really curious about how they would handle it.

Starting from the beginning of the episode and seeing the contrast between Gun telling his mom about Tinn, and Tinn's mom seeing how scared her son is and deciding not to ask. Gun has such a wonderful relationship with his mother. She's all he has for family and they have come to love and depend on each other so much, and the show has given us enough clues to the way she thinks that her supporting her son without issue was no surprise. Tinn's mother has been set up to appear that she feels differently, but it all boils down to her worrying for him rather than about him. Tinn gets his supportive, protective way of loving from her (which is the sweetest thing to me, considering their relationship isn't as strong). All she wants is for him to go through life without having to jump over hurdles for his happiness. Considering the privileges he's had as her son, it troubles her that he felt any reason to hide his true relationship with Gun and only wants to assure him that he could have come to her about it earlier. She sees his fear and rightly decides to let him come forward when he chooses.

The deal with the photo outing them and how all that goes down was interesting. It goes without saying, whoever took the picture had no business posting about them and it's unfortunate they never get found and reprimanded for their actions. What I loved was how the show chose to demonstrate how attitudes have really changed among younger generations. The whole conversations about "no one cares!" and "I think we were too afraid in the beginning," were really great points to make. The more exposure the younger generations have had to queer identities through media and people being open about them in real life, the more freedoms we have gained. Sometimes letting fear hold you back can suffocate you. Being outed is awful, but showing that you can not be a jackass about it is important. Also, don't go after my boy Gun for trying to give them a cover story, because this was the one circumstance where he saw Tinn being more at risk than him and he acted the way he thought Tinn would for him. It ended up not really mattering anyway, because people supported them and Tinn understood that's what Gun was trying to do.

And then we got the few bad opinions from the older generation. From a teacher they had all previously respected! Because unfortunately, disappointingly, that is so incredibly common. Even his way of trying to explain "oh I don't actually hate you guys I just don't take you seriously," was so important to include. Homophobes will try to twist their ideas into something that's less than the hateful bullshit it is and out themselves being as reductive as they truly are. Of course, it got escalated for the sake of run time and getting the issue dealt with immediately. Thank you Kajorn for having a pretty awesome come to jesus gay moment.

Finally, my favorite part!! Tinn's mom not only making it clear she's okay with his relationship but explaining just how offensive his teacher had actually been. I really thought her position as the school principal would remain as a wedge between her and Tinn because it was treated that way for so long. I didn't expect it to have any more use than that. But having an authority figure of a school openly call out their colleague and show support for her students meant so much to me! Reminder: this story sets out to say that teen's experiences are not trivial and they're people with hopes and dreams and struggles and have much less say in their daily lives. Adults stepping up and supporting children is so necessary. Adults stepping up and protecting queer children is a desperate need. Any other school principal doing less than that is unworthy of their job. And it goes without saying that being his mother and being so openly supportive before he's even had a chance to ask her is just the cherry on top.

The homophobia arc wasn't for everyone but it had intent and purpose and it executed it just right for me. It said "yeah we know it's there but it's horseshit tbh so we're having our boys sing to each other on stage knowing the most important people in their lives have their back." And then they got to say "I love you" and share their first kiss in the privacy they deserved.

#my school president #my school president the series #msp #tinngun #guntinn

[worseandworser]

Hi, hi hi!! Saw your taking requests. Obikin prompt:

Alpha Obi-Wan and omega Anakin trying to get Anakin pregnant OR already pregnant Anakin driving his master to distraction that Obi-Wan Needs to put him on his cock at any moment

Heyaaa here it is, anon! I might have added hysterical pregnancy to it, but there's a lot of breeding kink

There are things about Anakin that Obi-Wan just knows.

Easily, effortlessly, perfectly — Obi-Wan just knows, it reveals itself to him like a curtain pulled to the side, like a book falling open on the last page he's read. Anakin has this way of being, of wearing his heart on his sleeve, then there is their shared bond, intact even after years of Anakin's knighthood, and thus sometimes it's not even a matter of choice. Obi-Wan just knows.

He makes good use of his ability, though.

For example, for the last month and a half, Obi-Wan has been practically forced to understand that Anakin's omega instincts are doing a number on both of them. From the overly-large nests to the increasing amount of food Anakin eats, from the uneasiness around strangers to the almost territorial protection of their shared quarters, Anakin has become a raging ball of hormones.

He is — and Obi-Wan knows — preparing for a child. A child that, unfortunately, is not real.

False pregnancies are not unheard of. Actually, they are quite common among omegas. They believe they are pregnant when they aren't, really; but that is usually for the more — oh, how should he say — more unstable omegas — those whose lives are dedicated to the prospect of bearing children and mating and becoming mothers.

Anakin is not like that, you see. He is a Jedi Knight, a General, and the Hero With No Fear. They are at war, for Force's sake, and there are better times to think about bringing children to the galaxy, so Obi-Wan is frankly surprised that Anakin, out of all people, would be getting morning sickness over an empty womb.

But how does Obi-Wan fit into all of this?

Well, he is the closest thing Anakin has to an Alpha.

Their arrangement is quite simple. Fuck when they can, fuck when they want — nothing more, nothing less. In a desperate attempt at self-preservation, Obi-Wan likes to treat sex with Anakin as something practical, almost clinical. They are both healthy, consenting adults who find release in each other's bodies and that is all there is to it. They don't have time to go around picking random partners, so Anakin has to settle for what's convenient. Meanwhile, Obi-Wan is glad to give him whatever he needs and to receive whatever Anakin wants to give. But let's not delve too deep into that.

The main issue is that Anakin has told him before that there is no one else. There is no one else sharing Anakin's bed. No other alpha.

So Anakin has been regularly having sex with a single partner while unmated and — that's Obi-Wan's theory: it might have tricked his body. Anakin is getting ready to carry a baby. To secure a mate? To fulfill some subconscious sense of duty? Obi-Wan doesn't know.

What matters is that Anakin is not pregnant, and Obi-Wan doesn't know how to bring that up.

"Ah, Force," Anakin moans.

Obi-Wan slides a third finger inside him and meets no resistance — just another gush of wetness. Anakin is on his back, pulling his knees to his chest, and the bed is covered in both his sweat and slick and it smells like paradise. It smells like filth, and sex, and Anakin.

Paradise.

Moving his fingers in and out, in and out; Obi-Wan has been fingering Anakin for some time now, and his forearm is beginning to hurt. But then he looks down, to the expanse of Anakin's muscled stomach, and forgets about the pain for a moment.

Oh, what if it was true?

Truth is, for the past month and a half, Obi-Wan has been expecting some shift in Anakin's scent. A sign, just a small one. If Anakin is preparing for his supposed pregnancy, then Obi-Wan is preparing to provide for his supposed pregnant omega, because as much as Obi-Wan hates to admit it, this whole hysteric pregnancy has been having such a great influence on him. He's been dreaming — awake and asleep — about Anakin's distended belly. He is proud of the large nests his omega makes. He thinks Anakin should be eating more. He has been anticipating the way their scents will mix into an indistinguishable mess.

But alas, Anakin never skips a pill. Hopefully. Thankfully.

"Obi-Wan," Anakin breathes out.

It drags Obi-Wan out of his depressing musings — back to the present, to the beautiful present, where Anakin is flushed on his bed, covered in a thin sheen of sweat, where Obi-Wan's fingers are being squeezed by his welcoming, warm cunt. Stunning, Obi-Wan thinks reverently, and his eyes search for Anakin's half-lidded ones.

"Yes, Anakin?"

He knows what Anakin wants, of course he does. But he loves to hear it, in that bashful way Anakin says it, tilting his face to the side and blush deepening on his cheeks.

"Fuck me…" Anakin whispers.

Obi-Wan smiles pleasantly. "Isn't that what I'm doing?" He pointedly shoves his fingers in. "What more could you possibly want?"

Anakin makes a strangled noise of pleasure and Obi-Wan almost loses it. He keeps his calm, collects himself, and crooks his fingers just so and Anakin gasps and clenches around them.

"Y-your cock," he chokes out. "Obi-Wan, fuck me with your cock."

Yes, Obi-Wan thinks gleefully, I'll fuck you with my cock, over and over, and I'll fill you up with my cum until you're dripping, until you're—

"Of course, darling," Obi-Wan says. "Anything you want."

Obi-Wan can't tell if it's the words or something he does with his fingers, but Anakin throws his head back and lets out a high-pitched whine. Whichever it is, Obi-Wan is proud of himself.

He pulls his fingers out and lines up his cock. When he looks up, Anakin is staring at him, lips parted and eyes filled with unbridled passion — Obi-Wan slides in, slow and steady, and watches as Anakin's breath hitches and his eyes fall shut. Lovely, Obi-Wan reckons, and when he is in to the hilt, surrounded by warmth and moisture and tightness, Anakin gives him a little gasp that is as adorable as it is arousing.

Anakin looks beautiful like this, spreading his legs out so Obi-Wan can fuck him with his cock. In fact, Anakin looks beautiful doing anything, doing nothing at all, especially in the past month, when Obi-Wan's instincts have selected Anakin as his own pregnant omega. Obi-Wan has to look again, down at Anakin's belly—

He begins to move and Anakin, somehow, spreads his legs wider — he feels like a furnace, except his cunt is gushing sweet-smelling slick and Obi-Wan almost regrets not eating him out yet, because if there is one thing he is sure of is that if Anakin is de facto pregnant, the taste of his slick would be the first thing to change. Obi-Wan moves, but he is thinking, imagining, shoving his tongue inside Anakin and lapping at the slightly different flavor he would find there, and then—

He looks at Anakin's belly. He stares at Anakin's belly, trying to find a bulge, even the smallest one, and his chest aches with disappointment. He punts a hand on top of it and finds taut muscles, he presses down and hears Anakin whine, long and drawn out, and squirm. Rationally, Obi-Wan is aware that he has done nothing wrong, but the alpha in him is frustrated even with a beautiful omega writhing beneath him, or because there is a beautiful omega writhing beneath him but that omega needs a thing that Obi-Wan hasn't given him yet and now—

"I wish you were really pregnant," he blurts out.

It's such a huge lapse of self-control that Obi-Wan freezes up. Terrible moment, with his cock still sheathed inside Anakin's cunt, and then Anakin stares up at him with wide eyes.

Obi-Wan curses. He wants to fuck Anakin, he wants to move but at the same time, he is not sure if Anakin would like that. Anakin, who is looking at him with an expression that mixes surprise and confusion.

"What," Anakin starts, "what did you say?"

At last, Obi-Wan removes his hand from Anakin's belly and begins to sit back. Anakin stops him by gripping his upper arms with bruising strength.

"Don't you dare pull out now," he growls.

"Ah," Obi-Wan says smartly. He is not entirely sure if he should apologize, or if he should say anything at all. "Do you… want to keep going?"

"Yes," Anakin is so earnest and unhesitating that Obi-Wan almost gives out a sigh of relief. "Kark, say it again."

"Say what?"

Anakin looks at Obi-Wan like he just asked the stupidest question in the galaxy. "What you just said!"

Obi-Wan's breath hitches.

"That… I wish you were really pregnant?"

Instantly, Anakin's entire demeanor shifts — he lets go of Obi-Wan's arms and his hands fall limp to his sides, he relaxes against the mattress, legs still spread out so beautifully, and his gaze…

It seems strangely distant and clouded.

"Is it… Is it true?" Anakin whispers, and it's so soft and so timid and so unlike Anakin, who seems to never shy away from saying the first thing that crosses his mind. "Obi-Wan, move."

Obi-Wan does. He pulls out slightly and thrusts back in. "Ah," he gasps, "It is."

"Tell me."

"Hm, I'd like to see you pregnant, Anakin," Obi-Wan says, and it feels very much like a confession. He moves his hips, again and again, trying to build a pace that is more rhythmic than the usual fast-and-hard Anakin prefers. It won't last long, not with Anakin's vice-like grip around his cock, but it feels good to feel a little bit in control right now. It's just dirty talk, Obi-Wan tells himself, and Anakin doesn't have to know how deep it goes. "Force, I'd like to make you pregnant, I want you with my child."

Anakin moans a deep, rough sound. It's beautiful, and Obi-Wan speeds up a little bit to reward him.

"Y-you should do that," Anakin says. He puts a hand on top of his own belly and looks up at Obi-Wan, his eyes shimmering with moisture and with that distant, glazed-over quality. "Some days it feels like you already did."

Obi-Wan gasps and leans down to kiss him because he can, because they can share that, and also because hearing Anakin say he'd like to carry Obi-Wan's child has satisfied some deep-rooted alpha need in him. He wants to bite, to take, and he kisses Anakin like he is claiming him in all the ways he hasn't before. In all the ways he tells himself he can't.

Their kiss is bruising. Open-mouthed, made of teeth and tongue. Obi-Wan fucks into him earnestly, hopelessly, and when their kiss ends, he hooks his fingers behind Anakin's knees, and pushes them upwards, towards Anakin's chest, so he can be closer, closer, closer — in turn, Anakin whines into his mouth. He whines, and whines, just a long, drawn-out sound that seems to never end.

"You want me," Obi-Wan says, "to fuck a child inside you, is that it? Is that why you've been begging for my cock every time we see each other, darling?"

Anakin nods. His mechanic hand cradles his lower belly as if to protect it, even when Obi-Wan starts pounding into him.

"Oh, I'll get you pregnant, Anakin, if that's what you want." Obi-Wan leans down to place kisses and bites over Anakin's neck and chest, and Anakin bites his lip to hold back his sounds. Obi-Wan lets it because it is definitely something he likes about Anakin — so responsive, so loud, all the time, with everything — that when he tries to hold it back, it seems so desperate and hopeless. "Dearest, I'll fuck you over and over, as many times as it takes, but I'll put a baby in you even if it's the last thing I do."

He bites at Anakin's chest and sucks a bruise, then another, and another.

"I want to see your chest full of milk, darling," Obi-Wan says. "You know that is going to happen, right? Your chest will grow, and soon enough it'll get heavy with the milk for our child. Our child, Anakin."

"Yes," Anakin breathes out, "yesyesyes."

"You'd be such a great mother, Anakin, I—" Obi-Wan feels Anakin clench around him, so wet and warm and molded perfectly around his cock. "The nests you've been making, darling, they are perfect— perfect for me to fuck you in them, and perfect for when our child is born, darling, you can take my clothes if you want…"

"I want," Anakin chokes out.

"What do you want?"

"Your clothes," Anakin says. He looks up at Obi-Wan through half-lidded eyes and an expression of perfect bliss. "Harder."

Harder is good, harder is easy. Obi-Wan realizes he wants harder too, faster, and he thrusts into Anakin with abandon. When Anakin starts demanding harder, faster, it usually means he is close, and Obi-Wan is an alpha — when his omega is pleased, then he is pleased.

"Are you going to come, darling? Clench around me, so tight like you always do? You know you'll feel so good I'll come too…"

"Inside, inside," Anakin moans. "Please, Master, come inside me."

Ah, Obi-Wan thinks, that's the plan.

"Of course, how else will I get you pregnant?" Obi-Wan says. "I'll come inside right now, and then again later. And again, and again. You need my cum, you need all of it so you can carry my child for me."

Beneath him, Anakin writhes and gasps, mouthing a string of words in Huttese and another string of yesyesyes, and Obi-Wan's rhythm starts to falter. Anakin is simply too much, he feels perfect and looks like everything Obi-Wan has ever wanted — he is Obi-Wan's chosen mate, even if they've never talked about it before, even if there is no bite on his neck, but he would be the mother to Obi-Wan's children and that is all Obi-Wan needs at the moment.

"C'mon, be good," he tells Anakin.

Just like always, Anakin's orgasm soothes the alpha in him — Anakin throws his head back and groans, deep and loud, limbs going stiff, then shaking with the aftermath as if it overwhelmed him. And it feels even better around Obi-Wan's cock, when he clenches over and over again as the tension is washed off his body.

Obi-Wan stops thinking. Now, he doesn't have to. He thrust into Anakin without rhythm, without any consideration for anything but his own selfish pleasure.

"Don't pull out," Anakin whispers.

"I-I won't," Obi-Wan gasps. "I've been waiting the whole night to fill your tight little pussy with my cum, you think I'll pull out now?"

Anakin squirms.

"Anakin, you'll just take it now," Obi-Wan says. "I'll come inside you and then I'll knot you and I'll keep every drop inside you so you'll finally get your baby. Would you like that?"

Without hesitation, Anakin replies, "Yes."

"Good boy," Obi-Wan compliments.

After that, the room is filled with his grunts, the sound of skin slapping skin, and Anakin's overstimulated little gasps. When Obi-Wan comes, it's in an overpowering and all-consuming rush of pleasure — it courses through him like lightning, and he spills inside Anakin with an embarrassingly high-pitched moan.

He hides his face on the side of Anakin's neck, shoving his knot as deep inside as he can, and he relishes in Anakin's sweet tightness. Underneath him, Anakin gasps again, opening up for him like he was made for it.

"Beautiful," Obi-Wan breathes out. "Don't move yet."

Anakin makes a sound that seems like a laugh. "Wasn't planning to."

He wraps his legs and arms around Obi-Wan to pull him closer, and Obi-Wan tries to get as comfortable as possible — knotting in this position is not ideal, but Anakin is a strong man, surely he can carry a bit of Obi-Wan's weight for a few minutes.

And then—

—silence.

Cold realization and dread settle in the pit of Obi-Wan's stomach. They'll be stuck here for some time now.

"So," he starts, refusing to lift his face from the side of Anakin's neck. "This was intense."

"I want you to bite me."

And the neck is right there—

"Anakin—"

"No," Anakin says. He clings to Obi-Wan, nails beginning to scratch his skin. "You said it was true. Did you lie?"

"Of course not—"

"Then, bite me," Anakin demands. "You don't have to do it now, it can be later, as long as you do it."

Obi-Wan noses at his neck, presses a soft kiss there, and feels Anakin shiver. "We must talk first."

#obikin #anakin skywalker #obi wan kenobi

[paintingformike]

actual canon and factual things found in the show itself that reveals the red flags and problems of mileven and shows how they’ve been treating byler’s relationship way more seriously and as a healthier relationship that directly contrasts mileven:

mike’s place in his relationship with el is the source of his insecurities. he constantly tries to be another person in order to impress el and feel worthy of her, as he feels inferior in their relationship (he even admits it himself, calls himself a “random nerd” that can’t begin to hold up to her level). it would be all fine and dandy if it was actually el herself that reassured him that it doesn't matter and that she’d love him either way, but it was will comforting him instead, the selfless pining love interest that prioritizes his happiness over everything else.

will, the second love interest, was the only person who gave mike needed reassurance and comfort throughout the entire season and he’s seemingly the only person mike is able to open up to and be vulnerable with. he continuously fails to actually communicate and express himself to his own girlfriend, but spends the entire season doing the exact opposite with will.

mike and el don't seem to be able to connect and level with each other the way will and mike can. in the mileven season 4 argument, el goes out of her way to tell mike that he will never understand her struggles, even though he has also been bullied his entire life. she feels different from him. however, mike and will don't even need words in order to understand each other (“i didn’t say it” “you didn’t have to”). they see each other as equals in every sort of way (“i think it’ll be easier if we’re a team”).

lumax and mileven this season were both written to have major relationship problems, but the difference is that lucas and max solved their issues with proper communication and didn't need to have other people involved in the mending of their relationship. however, when they seemingly “fixed” mileven’s relationship, they made the conscious writing decision to make will be the one to push mike to talk to el in the hopes that his words would help her survive. it wasn’t something mike himself planned, he was just prompted to do something. will was also the one who talked mike through his insecurities in the van when he was on the verge of giving up on his relationship, convincing him that el still needed him. it wasn’t the words of his own girlfriend that made mike feel cherished, loved and needed, but will’s. they effectively tied the second love interest so deeply into the narrative direction of mike and el’s relationship so that he’s the sole reason they’re still holding up right now. mike would’ve never done anything if it hadn’t been for will reassuring him that his relationship with el still had a chance, since he wholeheartedly believed that el didn’t need him anymore. but will lied and masked his own feelings in order to achieve this. how does will know for sure that what he was saying about el was what she truly felt? how do we know for sure that mike wouldn’t start questioning his relationship with her once the truth is revealed, and that everything he believed to be el’s feelings were actually will’s?

the writing choices made for mileven seems to contradict how they’ve been writing the other good canon couples in the show. jancy, lumax, and jopper have never needed verbal expressions of “i love you” to affirm that the romantic love is very much still felt from them. it is shown, not told. so what does it mean when el seemingly needs a verbal affirmation of love from mike in order to feel secure in their relationship and feel romantically loved by him? why can't they just prove it through their actions and their moments together? and no, you can't just use the “every relationship is different” reasoning, because these are characters from a piece of media and a show/series, not real life people, meaning their has to be a specific pattern followed by the writers in portraying real, authentic relationships. mileven shares little to no similarities with the other relationships they’ve built up over the seasons, but is eerily similar to stancy, a relationship that was portrayed to be shallow and ultimately failed to last. they’re also the only relationship to be portrayed as a “love at first sight” trope, while all the other relationships are built on a developing friendship and are somewhat slowburn (including byler when they eventually become canon).

since season 3, they have been directly contrasting how mike deals with conflict between will and el, and everytime he has a fight with el, he also coincidentially has one with will. they also all happen back-to-back, meaning you’re meant to compare them as opposing parallels.

with el, mike would deflect blame and has to be pushed by other people to apologize and take action. in season 3, he was complaining and wondering what he did wrong and needed lucas to constantly coach him through confronting el, and in season 4 he blamed outside forces like “mouthbreathers” for ruining their relationship when the main problem was with himself. this time, he never apologized to her at all (although you could argue he was about to do it in the surfer boy pizza scene but was ultimately interrupted).

with will, mike immediately takes responsibility for his own actions and doesn’t need to be pushed by other people to apologize to him. in season 3, he bikes through the pouring rain and calls himself the asshole for going too far, and in season 4, he looks affronted at the mere idea of will thinking he deserved the treatment he got from him, and calls himself the self-pitying idiot for the way he acted towards will.

it is undeniable that all the intimate heart-to-hearts between mike and will this season were portrayed to have romantic undertones. oh, but aren’t they just two completely platonic besties that happened to be glued next to each other throughout the majority of the season while most of the other characters played a role in the supernatural plot? where’s the proof that their scenes were meant to be read romantically? well, an obvious romantic trope where they were constantly interrupted from staring intently at each other was used across all their crucial scenes together, which is something they’ve only done with canon couples in the show 🤔

meanwhile, will sabotaged the few moments that mileven had together in season 4, and they never got to be alone except for their fight. and if you really think about it, even in the past seasons, mileven moments are mostly very lighthearted or comedic and almost always in public spaces where they never get to have serious, deeper and meaningful conversations (especially in season 3 when their relationship was played as a joke), while the majority of important byler moments are private and its always them having a genuine heart-to-heart with each other. there’s underlying tension in their scenes that isn’t present in most mileven scenes.

think long and hard enough on why mike was purposefully separated from el for the majority of the season and they had him spend the most time talking about his feelings to will, while showing how somehow, the second love interest knows exactly how to reassure him through his problems the way his own girlfriend has never actually shown to be doing before. while they gave the person in the middle major problems with the person he’s currently in a relationship with, they simultaneously developed his relationship with the second love interest and built up romantic tension between them. it’s literally a writing technique and a way of showing which would actually be the more compatible partner for the one in the middle, no matter how you look at it.

“ok, but didn’t mike already say ily to el? theres no chance byler is gonna happen when theyve already fixed their relationship” maybe i’d buy it if they decided to do this in the last season, where there’d be no more room left to doubt. however, there’s still an entire season left which also happens to be will’s coming of age season, meaning anything could happen and the trajectory could completely change. trope subversions and plot twists exist, and coincidentially, little women was in the inspiration board for season 4 wherein one person in the middle of a love triangle declared a love confession towards the one person people thought he’d end up with, but the story still went a complete 180° and he ended up with her sibling instead (who happens to be a painter like will 🤔), when the story was nearing towards the end. sound familiar? maybe you shouldn’t get too cozy and comfortable when the writers have said they are going to complete will’s arc and tie all loose ends, meaning the relationships will continue to develop while the chararacters interact with each other over the course of an apocalyptic setting. they aren’t just gonna spend the entire season fighting monsters, their personal relationships are obviously gonna continue to move forward in the plot, especially when the major villain of the story also takes advantage of their personal traumas and histories to prey on them. their personal arcs are still tied to the supernatural plot, one way or another.

#another long post to quell anyone with byler doubts #because we have enough proof in the narrative itself that points to byler endgame #not just with lighting or color coding or minimal subtext #the painting itself still hasnt fulfilled its purpose in the willelmike situation #and will’s arc cant be completed without mike learning the truth about everything including his feelings #byler #byler proof #byler analysis #will byers #mike wheeler #st #stranger things #byler analysis by me

[titus-androgynous-87]

I am baffled that this fucking crusty ass rat lookin white boy named fucking WILDER isn’t the worst one on Couple to Throuple

I hated him the moment I laid eyes on him. I hated his fucking rat face. I hated his bottle blonde mullet. I hated his crusty mustache. And when his partner Corey started talking about him having crossed boundaries before, I -really- hated him

I’m only on episode 6 or 7 I think, and he has actually surprised me. He and their additional partner, Denyse, have been really good about taking things at Corey’s pace. And making sure to reassure Corey that going slow and setting boundaries isn’t ruining their dynamic

Wilder actually said, out loud “You not voicing your concerns WILL ruin the night, because then you’ll be uncomfortable and we won’t know. That’s how boundaries get crossed”

Wilder and Corey are also the only couple who have stuck with the same partner through the entire process. All the other couples have swapped at least once. Which is fine, and the point of the show. But it feels really superficial and gross when the couples talk about their temporary partners like they are objects for their pleasure and convenience.

Wilder and Corey at least seem to understand that polyamory goes beyond the physical. Though I do giggle because it seems like Denyse is way more into Corey than Wilder. And Corey is way more into Denyse. And Wilder seems content being their third wheel

Real “this is my girlfriend, Corey, and her girlfriend, Denyse” energy. But they seem to understand that polyamorous relationships, especially closed triads like this, don’t have to be 100% equitable all the time. People are naturally going to have deeper connections with some folks and not others. Doesn’t mean they don’t all care for one another. Nobody can post anything on SM until after the reunion, which is understandable. But I’d be interested to know if they’re still a triad (closed or open) or if they’ve all gone their separate ways

I’m really just here for Maximo and Ash at this point, because they’re the queer energy this show needs. And you could instantly see how relaxed the singles were around both of them

Both are non-binary, pan, and have experience with polyamory, though individually and not as a couple (which is how I think this show should have been structured to begin with)

They’re messy and silly and a touch toxic, but who isn’t on this show?

The ones I -really- fucking despise are the swinger couple looking to just have threesomes

Fucking humiliating their additional partners for not wanting to immediately get physically intimate, let alone fuck, within the first hour of meeting. Treating additional partners like playthings to be shelved when they’re bored and picked back up at their convenience. Mocking additional partners for setting boundaries and voicing concerns. Mocking additional partners for having feelings and thoughts and hopes and dreams. The, frankly, disgusting dynamic of centering Dylan as the UltraSigmaAlphaBro with two women hanging off him. I hope his dick falls off from all the steroids. And his wife Lauren is no better

They never should have been cast

Ashmal and Rehman are MESSY. And totally using their partner Johnathan to triangulate their pre-existing issues. These two need locked in a room until they actually discuss their issues

Ashmal has never taken Rehman to meet his family. Hasn’t spoken with his family about Rehman, nothing. And they keep bringing thirds in to ignore the real problems

Messy, under the covers handjobs don’t solve rifts in your relationship, yall. A two legged table cannot stand

And I have no fucking clue why Brittne and Sean are here. They don’t seem into each other, let alone an additional partner. They’re constantly running away from criticisms and difficult discussions. They ignore their partners and shut down their concerns. Brittne made it absolutely clear she is to be the queen bee of the group, to be catered to

Which isn’t how a healthy duo works. Let alone a triad

Idk this show has a LOT of flaws. But if they do a second season, I think the singles should have all the agency and focus, not the couples. Gimme a group of like 15 poly/pan/fluid folks and let me watch them form their own polycules

Because if I have to listen to another straight man giggle about threesomes, I’m gonna go into my back yard and eat dirt until the rage stops

I really wish Becca, one of the more prominent singles, had warned the rest of the group about Dylan and Lauren just looking to be swingers. That would have added so much more interest for me

Like how are the singles going to approach them about their toxic and gross behavior? Will the couple grow and learn and change when confronted with this? (No but we’d have fun watching them flounder and cry that no one wants to fuck them, let alone go home with them)

#it’s so fucking tragic #but I can’t stop watching #Couple to Throuple #peacock

[spacedustmantis]

poly pirates thoughts? theyre so important to me!! and i always like to read ur posts abt riptide :]

oughg god! they are so! ok. collecting myself.

obviously they are family. chip is down bad for gillion we know that, also navyseal yuri real and canon. but it goes deeper than that. these people have been by each other's side through all of their development as people. chip going from the bastard pirate to a sensible (if sometimes stupid) adult trying his best to do good by the people he loves, jay coming out of the navy influence and seeing the world for what it is, growing into herself and her freedom, and gillion quite literally learning how to be a person instead of the martyr he was shaped into.

not only have they witnessed all these developments in each other firsthand, but they themselves inspired that change in each other!! they stuck with each other in the beginning when they all kinda sucked in one way or another and thought "these people are worth it". they stuck around until they molded each other into what they were meant to be from the beginning.

my favorite moments where this kinda happens are the ep 15/ep 86 parallels the ep 53/ep 81 parallels and the ep 47/ep 86 parallels.

you have the two different fnc fights where you can see the difference in how they treat and resolve conflicts between then and now. at first there where two issues, being that a) chip refused to understand/respect gillion's traditions and culture and b) gillion did not approach conflict resolution in a productive or healthy manner, not ever having learned how to talk it out. both of these problems are solved by episode 86 where instead of fighting a bloody battle while mad at each other and then being done with it, they actually talk it out first and then fight basically for fun and as a way for chip to show understanding for and honor gillion's traditions. both of these changes have been directly caused by them helping each other be better. chip who's all about talking and gillion who's all about honor learning to meet each other in the middle.

then the block betrayal scene vs the scene where chip threatens to quit piracy. where chip showed so much trust and understanding for jay, where jay was fully convinced that she did not deserve his trust and then later to have those roles be completely reversed! chip knowing that jay doesn't want to betray them, jay knowing that chip doesn't want to quit. they've always had this deep understanding of each other, they can tell exactly what the other is thinking, and though both of them are flawed people they love each other regardless. and they know that people deserve second chances, third chances, fourth chances, if only they try to be better, because they've fucked up in the past, they've both been on the wrong side of history. they look at each other and see a mirror image. however it took chip 80 episodes to be vulnerable while it took jay 80 episodes to talk candidly about how much she loves and admires chip.

and finally the talks between jay and gillion in edison kingdom and just before the second fnc fight. how gillion shows this massive amount of respect for jay's autonomy and trust in her choice. how he encourages her to choose for herself not for anyone else. and then later how jay tries to talk gillion out of literally letting someone kill him, consistently putting himself in harms way for everyone else. and it doesn't quite work but she shows so much respect for his autonomy as well the way she tells him that it's his choice what he does, and same as gillion told, her she tells him to act for himself, to stop being so selfless. and also since jay has such high respect for gillion's choices she has to be urged to even talk to him about this in the first place. not because she doesn't care about him letting himself get harmed but because their relationship is built on trusting that the other's choices are their own. it shows how much more open jay has become, how gillion stopped seeing himself separate from everyone else. how his initial advice to act selfishly is being thrown back at him and how he (with some trouble) finally accepts it.

they bicker and fight but they are oh so tender with each other when it counts and they love each other so much and their love shows in everything they do. in the ferociousness with which chip defends his crew, in the way jay stands by her newfound family over her old one, in the way gillion trains for months just to be able to protect them better (sentinel feat you will always be famous).

they literally belong together, do not separate.

#ignore anything that doesn't make sense in this #i'm tired and don't feel like proofreading #jrwi riptide #chip jrwi #jay ferin #gillion tidestrider #buggy thoughts #buggy answers #connecting the dots #silver screen #edit! bc i forgot to spoiler tag this #jrwi spoilers #riptide spoilers

[helluvabossrewrite45]

Always sunny anon replying: funny you mentioned Bojack being I believe Viv has said in the past on her twitter that she wants HB to be the next BH yet seems to not understand what makes a show like Bojack work to begin with. (I'll admit I haven't watched Bojack Horseman yet. I've been sleeping on it way to long tbh).

Yeah absolutely. Viv doesnt seem to get that bojack worked in not only in its ability to make people like bojack while not excusing his actions, but also how its structured as 'comedy turned drama'.

(major spoilers for bojack horseman btw, you can just skip to the end/the last paragraph of this post)

Now in bojack's first season, it was a comedy pretty early and stayed that way till later down the season and it continued to grow naturally to a drama (though the comedy is still there of course). Helluva boss though, seems to be all over the place as just after episode 1, episode 2 takes a more serious/dramatic approach when the show is meant to appear at first to be a dark humoured comedy, along with most of the season not even sticking to its original premise, instead focusing more of set ups and stolitz drama that both didnt go much of anywhere (striker might be an exception though i feel like the end with him could be another set up). What wouldve worked is that episode 1 - 4 is entirely on the original premise for helluva boss and the rest would be more serious (with strikers introduction, the agents and stolitz drama) with season 2 continuing the more serious approach. Hell, if their gonna include stolas family drama, why not portray it as comedy at first, then use it later on to portray it more seriously. Like in season 1 of bojack where he and sarah lynn slept with each other, its being treated as comedic. But when he revealed that he slept with her in the interview, its being treated completely seriously and use it to highlight bojacks problem from him with young women and his issues with accountability, episode 2 could portray the cheating as comedic (with stella throwing objects while rambling while stolas dodges them like a dodgeball game with octavia initially being presented as the typical 'lonely stuck in the mud teenager' but we still get hints of her being more than that later down the episode) and while it ends on them leaving the festival in an awkward comedic way, that would used in seeing stars where octavia vents about her family drama, including on how neglectful stolas has become as a father from the festival incident. Im kinda surprised viv didnt consider to use it because it would be a perfect tool for helluva boss to use.

Another reason why bojack worked compared to helluva boss is its characters. While bojack was written well, the rest of the characters (especially women) shine through and we get to see more of who they are overtime. We dont really get much on that with helluva (especially the women), sure we get their backstories though we dont really have much depth if that make sense. Like when we compare todd to moxxie, todd's deal is that he's extremely helpful and he actually have stuff going on for him, its only bojack thats holding him back so when he finally distance himself from bojack, not only is it consistent but its also not repetitive, instead we get to know more about todd, seeing his relationships, discovering his asexuality etc...hell, he even has his own episode where he learn to make time for himself too instead of always helping out everyone. Moxxie has an arc of overcoming his weakness but the thing is, it repeats the same arc that it can get tiring to watch. What would work for him is that he slowly develops him overcoming his weakness instead of it just being repeated (like maybe further snapping at blitzo or confess that he considers quitting) Its a real shame too because him being close to morally good than morally grey or bad (which i predict thats what most of hells beings would be) opens a gate to a lot of possibilities for him as a character like why he took the job, how he met his wife, how he views the world around him etc...but they clearly didnt know what to do with him especially when season 1 wasnt even properly planned (as viv literally admits this on twitter too) so its why he as a character feels stagnant. But a bigger comparison however, has to be the women in the shows. People tend to praise the show for how it writes its women characters, often from diane and princess caroline. They're shown to be as messy and complex as men like bojack in the show though other women characters had their time to shine like hollyhock, kelley, gina, penny, bojack's mother etc...Its clear that bojack writes both men and women well in the show. Helluva boss on the other hand, is quite unbalanced in its writing for men and women. Specifically with the men having more variety and generall knowledge about them than the women. Like millie and loona, despite being major characters, have very little depth especially with millie who wouldnt even be a character if we remove her from moxxie. And even with the other women characters, they dont have much depth either (or at last we dont get to see that depth often like with verosika), they all in some way are in the roles for men characters (octavia and loona being there to establish the good in stolas and blitzo or stella and verosika being there to establish to either be the villain or to show a part of the man's past) Its very clear that viv favours men characters than women as alastor and angel dust having more going on than charlie, the main character herself. I mean, both shows are technically character driven and to be character driven, your gonna have to make sure your characters can equally shine on their own instead of one having more depth than the other.

To put it shortly, i dont think viv really gets why bojack was successful to audiences to begin with and in turn, failed to achieve that success with it being how she structures her show for the 'comedy turned drama' style being all over the place when bojacks was of natural progress and her imbalanced/poorly planned writing of men and women characters where it wasn't an issue in BoJack

#helluva boss critical #helluva boss critique #helluva boss criticism #helluva critical #helluva criticism #helluva critique #helluva boss rewrite #ask #anon #ive also been sleeping on bojack for too long though i finally watched it a few months back #its really good i definetly see why so many people like it #me included #major spoilers for bojack skip to the last paragraph for nonspoiler summarization #hopefully if you watch it you like it too

[freakshowtwopointoh]

Apex Predator - Cross The Line Part 1

They're the queen of beasts, at this beastly school

Gotta keep things cool with the apex predator

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When you've been in the dance world for long enough, you know that warm-ups aren’t really to warm up. They’re to demonstrate to the other dancers what you can do. Especially so close to the first auditions. She may be a freshman, but Ella’s been dancing since she could walk. Ballet lessons since 4, and she was in a very competitive studio in high school. That’s how she got in here - her performances as Clara and Odette had impressed the admissions board enough to give her a full ride. Unfortunately, rumors spread quickly around here, so most of the other students had formed their opinions on her before even meeting her. Snobby, spoiled, arrogant. That’s what they all thought. But it doesn’t matter what they think. As long as she can make a name for herself, as long as she can keep dancing, they could all think whatever they want. 

It’s weird, going from the studio you’ve been at your entire career, to a more competitive and intense environment. College is great and all, but it seems like everyone is so much more cutthroat. Like yeah, high school ballerinas are intense, but they weren’t needlessly cruel. Some of the people here seem to delight in watching the other dancers struggle. She's barely been here a week, and she's heard multiple fights be organized - although she has no idea if they actually threw any punches. If she was honest, seeing the way they all treated each other so early in the semester did not encourage Ella to make friends, as her coworkers had suggested.

She sighs, and continues her stretches. No matter what she does, people will have their opinions. She hears the whispers, she knows that people think she’s cocky and spoiled - that she’s gotten everything handed to her on a silver platter. Not that they know anything about her. Not that it matters. She just has to keep her head down, and focus on proving to everyone that she has the talent and that she deserves to be here. And most importantly, she can't let anyone get to her. Not the judgmental girls, not the harsh professors, and certainly not the upperclassmen who think they're hot shit.

The worst was Jordan Li. They were an upperclassman, and they were on their way to becoming an instructor. They worked hard, spending most of their time out of class in rehearsal rooms, practicing. And yet, the school’s golden boy, Luke Riordan, had always just barely beat them out for the lead. At least, that’s the rumor. The worst part of it was that they were hot. Like... hot hot. And all they seemed to do was glare, party, and dance. Whatever. Ella didn’t have time for romance anyways. That didn’t keep her from watching them during class, and after. Watching the way their muscles flex as they demonstrate whatever complex step the instructor is looking to teach us. God, that cocky smirk on their face. And the absolute worst part was that even though they were cocky as hell, they're incredibly talented. They make everything look so easy, even when they're lifting another dancer above their head and holding a perfect pose.

The instructor, Lynne, calls everyone to the barre, and the real class begins. She focuses on her form, really not looking to embarrass herself by forgetting something stupid. 

Eyes Up. Follow your hand. Maintain the position. Hold. Keep your face neutral. Gentle arms, delicate fingers.

She can feel Jordan’s eyes on her when she takes her turn to try out a complex step, and ignores them when they laugh quietly at her mistakes. Of course, they had no issues. It was like they just knew how to orient their body exactly as it needed to. Ella often felt like she was stumbling her way through dance, fooling people into thinking she was better than she was. Not like Jordan, who clearly had natural talent. She wasn’t jealous, per se.... 

That’s a lie. Of course she’s jealous. They’re so graceful, easily performing every necessary step. And yet - they’re always in the practice rooms, snapping on gum, gracefully showing off, demonstrating perfect arabesques and pirouettes every time. Making every one of the girls swoon. She’s lost in her brooding over Jordan and almost misses her queue. Falling into line, she does the step again, earning the approving nod from Lynne. 

By the time class was over, Ella was exhausted. Lynne claps once. “Well done. Now, auditions are in two weeks for our first performance of the year - Romeo and Juliet. Be prepared, and work hard. Now, go!”

She packs up quickly, which always earns glares from the girls in the dressing room. They like to socialize, chatting and gossiping while they change. But, unlike them, Ella has a job she has to do. They think she’s stuck-up, and she’s uninterested in correcting the record. If any of them asked her, or even bothered to talk to her, maybe she’d feel differently. She ducks out, heading to the Crocus coffee shop. Does she love being a barista? No. But it pays her bills, and they let her change her schedule when she needs to audition or perform or whatever. She pulls on my apron, and greets my coworkers. 

“Hey, Anna! Hey, Jane!”

They wave back, and she gets to work. It wasn’t too bad, if she’s honest. She finished up ehr shift, closed the shop, and made her way back to the studio. She hadn’t needed to use a practice room before today, but since auditions are coming up, she really needs to work on her... well, her everything. She gets dressed and step into the room, and the only one in there is Jordan fucking Li. Of course. She ignored them, and pulled up her computer for a practice set. 

“I was wondering why I haven’t seen you in here before. You scared to practice around the big kids, freshie?”

She ignores them. She doesn’t have to explain shit to a snotty rich guy with nothing to lose.

Jordan’s POV:

That freshman is going to be the death of them. First, she waltzes around like she owns the place, just because she performed as Clara at an Opera House or whatever. And she’s always so perfect, and she doesn’t talk to anyone. And she barely practices. She thinks she’s so much better than everyone else here. Such a snob.

Not that anyone seems to talk to her either. Not just Jordan, but even the other underclassmen. The airheads are intimidated by her and instead of doing anything about it (like actually trying), they bitch and moan. It’s like they want her to win. They roll their eyes, stretching after practicing all evening. You can’t just let people be better than you. You have to work your ass off until they aren’t better than you any more. It’s not that hard. 

Except when you’re dealing with a nepotism baby like Luke Riordan, the company’s golden boy. He’d been here just a year longer than Jordan had, but he’d always gotten the lead. Rich parents, pretty blond boy, it doesn’t take a genius. But Jordan was a better dancer than Luke. They deserved the lead. 

They have to beat Luke this year. They need that fucking part. They may hate Romeo and Juliet, but they need that lead. After all the hiding and the grinding and fighting and working, they need this part. 

Their parents don’t give a shit about their dance. Or them, if they’re honest. Not like all the girls, whose mommies and daddies have doted over their precious ballerinas since day one. Even Luke’s parents are oh-so-proud. But Jordan’s parents wanted a mini-Superman, not a bigender ballerina. They allowed them to dance, because it made them look good to the other board members, but everything else about them must be hidden. No powers, and definitely no shifting. Their parents' words echo in their head. 

You can’t have everything, Jordan. You have to choose.

You’re lucky. You can be a boy all the time.

You’re too much for people. If you just -

Whatever. It doesn’t matter. They just have to focus on getting Romeo, showing everyone that they are the one to watch. That they aren’t some misguided kid pursuing their dreams, but that this is what they are meant to do. Once they do that, nothing else will matter. 

They shake their head, and watch Ella practice. She isn’t half bad, they admit to themself, for a freshman. Her core is weak, and she’s obviously self-conscious, but she might turn out ok. Certainly better than some of the dancers ahead of her. But she really isn’t that good. Or that pretty. They try to convince themself as they taunt her.

“I was wondering why I haven’t seen you in here before. You scared to practice around the big kids, freshie?”

She rolls her eyes at them and continues practicing. They snap their gum in annoyance. They don’t understand why she bothers them so much. But her quiet judgment gets under their skin, and the way she looks when - Focus Li. Focus.

“Well, you’re in luck, because I was about to leave.” They announce, as if they’re expecting her to care. 

“Good for you!” She calls out sarcastically, and that makes their heart stutter. Did the freshman just... talk back to them? On like, day three? Most of the other dancers could barely make eye contact with them. 

Yeah, she’s going to be the death of them.

Ella’s POV:

Good for you? Good for you? Why, oh why did she think that was a good idea? Being stone-faced was a great play when you’re the new kid, but it doesn’t work if you get snippy at the tiniest quips.

What is it about Jordan fucking Li that gets under her skin so easily? None of the other dancers made her want to prove them wrong as much as Jordan did. The way they were always around, watching her. The way they acted like she was a child who couldn’t do anything herself. The way they looked when - Fuck El. Focus. Focus. You need to do well. She shakes her head, and forces herself to finish the practice set. She has to prove to every last dancer in this fucking company that she deserves to be here.

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au by @poppy-metal

edits by @barbieprincesshilton

#jordan li #gen v #gen v prime #gen v fic #jordan li x reader #angst #toxic!ballet jordan

[ziskandra]

*cackles* 7, 10, 11, 13, and 24

7. what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them? hate is probably too strong a word but i've developed a knee-jerk reaction to fellow anders fans over the years because of the subset that truly seem to think he can do no wrong and that all of his actions were entirely justified and had no negative consequences for anybody in kirkwall other than the templars. on one hand, i kinda get it, because i know anders fans have also gotten a lot of flack because... this fandom is incapable of being normal. on the other, i have a knee-jerk reaction towards anyone who assumes everyone plays these sort of games the exact same way as them (or indeed, the same way each time). i totally respect people doing whatever they want in their games and in their fanworks, but it's when it comes out in harassment of others or making bad faith assumptions about the character of actual living human beings that i'm like. no thank you. obviously there are fans of other characters who also engage in this behaviour, anders is just the one where my negative fandom experiences outweigh the positive ones, personally.

oh also, while i'm being salty (the name of the game i SUPPOSE), i fucking love f!handers but m!handers leaves me cold (especially in canon-verse fic, i don't mind it as much in like, modern AUs and the like?) idk i feel like them being the same gender changes their dynamic in a way i can't articulate--probably that hawke being female shifts the power dynamics a bit and. yeah. 10. worst part of fanon

again, 'worst' is probably a harsh word, but when it comes to pervasive fanon that i personally just don't like, it has to be visibly mixed-race alistair. i don't mind it as much when his ears have like, a subtle point to them or whatever, but speaking personally as someone who is visibly mixed, to the point that i have fielded complete strangers asking "what are you" on regular occasions, alistair's narrative would be. quite different if he wasn't human-passing. and while i get that some mixed-race people find solace in making their blorbos more representative of who they are and their identities not causing any issues, it leaves me cold. and again, i don't care what other people do, but it's when some people act like fellow fans who dare depict alistair as he appears in canon are being racist or what have you that i get annoyed. like, yeah, dragon age fandom does have problems with race, but like... this is imo not one of them, and it detracts from like. bringing awareness to actual issues. yeah yeah people can care about multiple things at once, but by the same token, people can only care about so many things at once, yknow? also this fandom in particular has a real problem with treating poc like we're all a monolith, and that includes both white people and poc. i find it especially frustrating that the dominant discourse centers north american race politics the most, but god forbid anyone try to address that directly .... but that's a rant for another time lmao. 11. number of fandom-related words you've filtered i have about 16 fandoms i'm not in filtered mostly bc they just turn up on my dash a lot, and a handful of characters/ships filtered for fandoms i am in! the one that has been consistently filtered the longest is reyes vidal. 13. worst blorbofication

oooh, this one i think is a toss up between alistair and varric. as someone who loves both these characters more for their flaws rather than their virtues, fandom can be. a difficult time! alistair often gets reduced to this...perfect prince charming, which i think is kind of disappointing considering there is so many different ways for his story to develop depending on the the outcomes of origins? varric, otoh, gets reduced to hawke's bestie a lot. and look. i get it. he is hawke's bestie. he is. very uncritical of hawke, which is not as much of a problem if hawke's a good person but. what if they're not? what if they're not, varric. god, what i would give for like. a fucking complicated characterisation-rich fic which explored like. hawke and varric's friendship and how they're like. codependent messes. (and i say this as someone who loves codependent messes lol). and i guess like.... everyone treats varric being viscount as a meme. and yeah, i get it, the dude is everything everywhere all at once. but i'd really love to see more content focused on like... his relationship with kirkwall, and his feelings regarding his friends and becoming viscount and yeah. anyway!! being a blorbo of mine is the worst because i enjoy pain and suffering. anyway, 24. topic that brings up the most rancid discourse

mage rights and also the chantry boom. i don't think i even have to elaborate on this do it 😭 🔥 choose violence ask game 🔥

#thank you for the asks!! #this was more invigorating than i anticipated tbh #turns out i do have opinions even tho i don't voice them that often in the grand scheme of things oops #asha answers #poetikat #long post #fandom critical

[so-i-grudgingly-joined-this-site]

I don't like Thessaly all that much and there is a lot of reasons to dislike her character but I do think there is a double standard when it comes to the whole transphobia thing espeically in comparison to George who is a clear out and out transphobic. And maybe there are reasons maybe George doesn't get hate is because he's a much more minor character compared to Thessaly who is still minor herself but has a bigger role or because people don't see Thessaly as being good for Dream which one can debate the other way as well though I do think Dream's overall morals are better than Thessaly's but I can't help but think it's down to misogyny or at least it's partly down to that. Like I said I don't like Thessaly but I also don't like the double standard of how women and men are treated differently and this also happens in real life.

Oh yeah, I'd definitely say misogyny is a large part of it. Fandom loves any excuse to hate on a female character, especially one who "gets in the way" of self-shipping or a more popular non-canon ship for their (usually male) fave. Thessaly just happens to be a rare case where she ALSO is legitimately terrible. The fact that she's also terrible in a way that corresponds to a current hot-topic issue likewise gives people easy "brownie points" for hating on her, because fans can frame it in a faux-activist way that comes across as "cool" on tumblr or twitter.

And as for George, I'm not sure if it's because he's a minor character, or, sadly, if it's more "expected" for a man to be cruel towards a woman. The fact that he's presented as villainous to begin with likewise gives him something of a "free pass" to express bigoted views, because hey, he's obviously supposed to be evil anyway. Thessaly is at least marginally heroic in that she's helping our protagonist Barbie (although she ultimately does more harm than good), so hearing her be bigoted is more potentially shocking and disappointing to a reader. Of course, this misses the major theme of the story where everyone, including powerful or divine figures, can be flawed, wrong, or bigoted. Neil himself emphasizes this in The Sandman Companion interviews about A Game of You: the moon rules are supposed to be taken as outdated/bigoted for only accepting menstruating people as women, and Thessaly isn't supposed to be a "heroic" or aspirational figure.

(Also, as a side note: The Companion also states that Dream and Thessaly were supposed to not make sense and be a "wtf why are they together?" type pair. However, given that The Companion often seems to be nudging readers to see Dream in a negative light, it's not exactly clear why they would be "obviously" bad for each other...)

I have to say, Thessaly's TERF reputation preceded her before I got to A Game of You in the comics, and I was actually surprised at how little of her personality that is compared to her other unpleasant actions. I expected her to be full-on "author-who-shall-no-longer-be-named", but basically she makes one transphobic comment before instead doing a spell that causes mass destruction and presumable mass death by moving the moon and thus bringing the storm into the city. She also cruelly sacrifices animals at multiple points in her appearances. I mean, it's all bad, obviously, but the fact that the fandom hones in on ONE particular thing to hate her for, out of the MANY reasons she's hate-able, makes me wonder how much is performative activism.

And on one last note... we all need to talk about Wanda more. Seriously. She's far more than just "groundbreaking representation" or "a victim of transphobia". The Sandman Companion rightly points out that she embodies the intended message of the arc: that everyone should be able to change and define themselves as they wish, the will of any alleged authority be damned. Plus, in a series where the central conflict of the protagonist is ultimately about needing to gain self-knowledge and the willingness to change...Wanda is the one who actually MANAGES that! She, a normal human person, does what an Endless cannot. Of course, the inspiration kind of falls flat in that both her and Dream end up equally tragically dead. But still, she's a very notable foil in the overall themes of The Sandman.

#ask #asks answered #anon #the sandman #the sandman meta #thessaly #george (the sandman) #wanda (the sandman) #the sandman companion

[redtalksaboutstuffandthings]

Anime Ramble 2: Banana Fish is mid

So, once again I'm going to use this empty blog to ramble incessantly about something that only matters to me. Specifically, the gay romance in a crime thriller anime. It took up my thoughts all day, today, and if I don't write them down I'm going to explode.

Banana Fish was written in the 1980's, but received an anime adaptation in 2018. And having watched the whole thing through, I fully believe that the story was written in the 80's. It has a very 1980's idea of what gay people look like and do, and I mean that in all the worst ways.

(Content Warning: Sexual Assault, Pedophilia, Homophobia. It's a deep hole we're going down.)

Banana Fish is the story of Ash Lynx, a runaway mafia hitman with a 200 IQ who is a crack shot with a revolver, spends his free time at the New York Central Library, and whose kill count exceeded his age somewhere around the time he was 15. His romantic interest is Eiji, Japanese photographer and the show's resident Very Good Boy.

Ash is gay. Or at least, that's how he's presented. He has an estranged relationship with his father, which apparently happened sometime after Ash was repeatedly assaulted by an adult, when he was eleven, and Ash was eventually forced to kill his abuser. Why is Ash's father so distant and harsh, even though he knows all of the stuff that happened to his youngest son? Unsure. The show asks the question, and there's a slight hint that a reconciliation is possible, but ultimately Ash's father isn't on screen long enough to provide a clear answer.

If I were a cynical person, I would point out that "a history of being a sexual abuse victim" and "an abusive father figure" are two very common "reasons" given by bigots who want to explain why gay people exist and why their state of mind is a mental health issue. This would have been especially true in the 80's, where homosexuality was only recently removed from the DSM as a mental disorder. However, I'm not a cynical person. I'll just assume that the writers just didn't have enough time to give us a compelling reason.

ASH AND EIJI ARE CUTE TOGETHER, I GUESS

The relationship between our two leads has quite a few nice points going for it. Ash makes a big deal about how tragic his past is and how he can't trust anyone, but around Eiji he's allowed to be his authentic self, without fear of judgment or betrayal. Their interactions together, particularly in safe moments where there isn't a bad guy to fight, is a very realistic depiction of what two good friends might get up to, when they're alone together. They enjoy each other's company, have a lot of cute moments, and there are even what I would identify as clear moments of emotional intimacy, that made for compelling viewing. I do, however, have two main issues with it.

The first is a phenomenon I'm beginning to see quite frequently, in the world of yaoi. It's what I refer to as the "Uke's dillemma." I can understand what Ash gets out of the relationship. A person who accepts him for him, who can look past his violent existence and treat him like a human being is something valuable and healing to him, and the show makes no bones about that. However, I find myself less able to answer what Eiji is getting, from the relationship.

His only real flaw as a character that Ash might be able to address is the temporary loss of his confidence, that he experienced before meeting Ash. That basically gets resolved a few episodes in, with a scene where he has to help save multiple people, including Ash. For the rest of the show, it really feels like Eiji is purely there for Ash's sake. He, being (as I mentioned previously) a Very Good Boy, sees a person who's clearly suffering, underneath the mask of a totally cool badass mafia assassin, and decides to show Ash the milk of human kindness in order to heal his pain and remind him that he's actually a person, and not just a wild animal that needs to be put down.

And while that's cute and cool and very much worth putting to film, that's not exactly a good reason to enter into a romantic relationship with someone. In fact, that feels more like a good reason to adopt a shelter animal.

0/10. NO HAND HOLDING

The second problem with the romantic relationship between our two leads is that... it's not really a romantic relationship. Like, make no mistake. It's not like I was expecting these two boys to spend their free time with their hands down each other's pants. However, they don't really do anything that indicates that they're in a relationship. They spend a lot of time together. They're clearly willing to throw down, when the other is in danger. They even share a few moments of genuine tenderness. But spending time and being emotionally intimate with your friend isn't gay, no matter what the dude-bros tell you, and neither they nor anyone around them seem to give any sort of indication that they should be read as being romantically involved.

Okay, they kiss, once, but I'll get to that in a second.

By itself, this isn't a big deal. It might even be a point in the show's favor. Considering how sleazy they make the world of gay people, how overloaded the plot is with sexual assaults and horrible, senseless violence, the fact that they make the relationship we're meant to root for wholesome? Not the worst decision.

It's a little weird, though. I mean, this was the chance for the show to show us what a good gay relationship might look like. It's a chance to show how Ash would engage with a partner he genuinely loves, when there isn't a gun to his head. A chance to present what a healthy, constructive relationship could look like, even in an environment as ugly as Banana Fish's. And what they gave us... was a very good friendship. Like, an outstanding friendship. A friendship I would happily defend, were it lucky enough to come my way. But that's all it is. You could honestly walk away from the show with the idea in your head that Eiji was straight, and was only staying close to Ash because he's a Very Good Boy and could see it was what Ash needed.

But... I'm overthinking this, maybe. A friendship is a good thing to put on screen, I think. Besides, even if they don't ever say the "L" word, there's enough subtext for you to be able to make the educated guess that they love each other. I don't need to give this any more thought. I could just sit back, and enjoy the wholesome vibes of Boy Assassin and Very Good Boy.

BUT IF I WERE A CYNICAL PERSON...

The show presents gay sexuality as being "bad." I'm not even sensationalizing. Ash's first crimes, his first acts of evil that send him down the violent road he finds himself on, happen as a direct result of being raped as a child and needing to defend himself. The show's main antagonist is a sadistic gay mob boss who's obsessed with owning Ash like a collector's item. Sexual assault and rape are employed or threatened by every throwaway minion who has any sort of power over the protagonists. The cast can be split into three groups: people who rape and abuse people, the victims of abuse... and Ash, who half the time is in the victim category, but the other half of the time uses sexuality as a cover for dishonest behavior.

Ash is openly sexual, at times, but these are always in controlled moments. Often, it's to distract or to call in a bad guy, so he can incapacitate or kill them when they're off guard. That time we get our big kiss between Ash and Eiji, it was all part of a clever ruse on Ash's part to sneak a message out of prison, and not an actual expression of love. For Ash, sex is either something that happens to him, or that he uses to get something he wants.

So, imagine the opportunity presented in front of us, here. Ash has a Very Good Boy, around. One who will not judge him, won't betray him, and who he can finally be his genuine self with. And when given that opportunity, the writer's apparently decided that their perfect gay relationship, the relationship Ash was going to have with his designated soulmate... is one that can easily be mistaken for generic friendship. One where you complain about food, together, but you sleep in separate beds. Where you call your partner "big brother" and only ever touch them when you're having a nervous breakdown and (understandably) need to be held. Where you never say the "love" part out loud, and none of your friends say it out loud, either.

And... I'm not a cynic. I'm not. But if I were, I could have a field day with this. I could write the entire world of Banana Fish as the sort of Gay Experience Conspiracy Theorycrafting that was absolutely rife in the mid and late 20th century. Because it seems like what the writers are suggesting is that the key to being happy as a gay character is to not be gay.

Being gay, according to the writers of Banana Fish, is a sort of corruption, that happens because you were abused and traumatized. Only bad people express thoughts that could be construed as gay sexuality, and in every case it's just meant to serve some greater purpose. Breaking a person's spirit. Getting them vulnerable so they can be killed. And when you find somebody who can finally let you heal from your trauma, all you ever wanna do is take Japanese lessons with your Very Good Boy friend who isn't your boyfriend. Let me just make that last part clear. He's just your very good friend, who just so happens to be a Very Good Boy, and the two of you don't even hold hands.

And then when it's time for your Very Good Boy friend to leave, to go to Japan and back to his regular Very Good Boy life, the moment you even think about going after him, you're gonna get stabbed in the street and murdered, as the consequences of your evil lifestyle finally catch up with you.

((Spoiler alert, btw.))

THAT'S HOW I'D READ IT, IF I WERE A CYNICAL PERSON

Luckily, I'm not a cynical person. I'm sure it's just a coincidence that all that could be inferred from a casual viewing. Surely, I'm just mad that the anime tagged with "gay" and "romance" didn't have enough obvious romance in it.

In conclusion, Banana Fish is a competently animated and drawn crime thriller. It's protagonist is a Mary Sue, but for the story it's telling that's not the worst thing he could be. Any sort of conspiracy theories I have about the writers and their opinion of gay people are probably irrelevant. 6/10. Watched it while I was sick. Killed time while the virus was being killed.

#anime #banana fish #content warning #too long for tumblr #don't actually read this #it's not worth it