#when we got there the social anxiety got to me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

nyandaah · 2 days

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I don't know how to articulate my thoughts on it consicely (as usual, hence why I rarely ever write posts here anymore), but ever since this week's dunmesh ep I can't stop thinking about That scene between toshiro and laios and how it's been talked about as a piece of representation of the neurodivergent struggle.

I've seen those panels countless times before the anime got to it, and I can't understate how Real of a thing it is that we're seeing through laios- that pain and frustration that comes from having the rug pulled under you in being told that been getting it Wrong the whole time and nobody's bothered to point out the donkey tail pinned on your ass.

but I think that's only the first half of the statement, and the way people talk (and don't talk) about toshiro does the moment a disservice.

seeing how people talk about it before getting to the scene itself, it ended up catching me off-guard how much of a Person toshiro is. he's always talked about as the strawman or the figure representing neurotypical society- the one that others us.

I see where it's all coming from, he's not a likeable character to most of the fandom for reasons I won't hold anyone against, but again- he's an important part of the picture that dunmesh paints of the nd struggle.

I find it absurd to portray toshiro as a representation of the 'average'. being both of royalty and of a culture that has instilled upon him his own values and expectations when it comes to socialization. it's why the inclusion of his retainers (especially maizuru) was a brilliant story decision; alongside laios', we get to see HIS social ineptitudes and how central they are to HIS character.

like. a major point of grievance many of the audience has with toshiro is his rose-tinted 'romance' with obviously-uninterested falin. I get it, especially if you've experienced that type of engagement with an unwanted pursuer. but dear lord if that doesn't perfectly parallel him with laios as a fellow Socially Inept Man.

it hit me as much as laios hit me when he said he envied our boy's sincerity. because that's a true and often less talked about part of the neurodivergent struggle(tm)- the difficulty to express your feelings. just like the other end of the spectrum, it hurts yourself as much as it hurts others.

as someone whose brain problems often manifest as social anxiety and feeling like i'm either unable to or unworthy of expressing how I feel, I envy laios too.

tl;dr- there are two characters present in that scene in episode 17.

#dungeon meshi #laios touden #toshiro nakamoto

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specialinterestshows · 1 day

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React to an unpleasant surprise in this latest chapter of my Rhea Ripley x lady!reader fic, Absolute Smokeshow.

(We’re finally getting to the series of chapters I have been WAITING to write 🖤)

Warnings for this section: Anxiety, cannabis (weed), social anxiety, panic attack, hyperventilation, fainting

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Absolute Smokeshow (Part 71 of ?): News To Me

Once you had awoken again at a more decent hour, anxiety was the first thing you felt and you had no memory of anything you might have dreamt last night. Every time you tried to chase after a familiar flash, it disappeared. Opening your eyes, you decided to take a look around the dimly-lit room instead, propping yourself up on your elbow.

Dom was clinging to Rhea now, the latter looking far more comfortable than you had been in that same position. Both of them seemed so peaceful sleeping in each other’s arms that it felt wrong to hold your stress so close to them. You made sure to be quiet and careful as you crept out of bed toward your things.

After silently changing into your extra set of clothes using only the small sliver of light streaming in from the mostly-drawn curtains, you popped into the bathroom. Making sure to leave the door cracked an inch, you turned on the light and vent before igniting a fresh joint.

You watched the smoke trail up with the flow of the air after puffing on it a few times, holding in a sizable hit. Puckering your lips, you aim your exhale at the vent, already slightly calmer now that you had something to focus on.

The second hit made you cough a bit, but it was a few seconds before you could grab a towel to muffle it. After you regained some control over the muscles in your throat, you began drinking directly from the sink to soothe your throat - which is the exact position a sleepy-looking Rhea and Dom found you in. Immediately, you shut off the faucet and wiped your mouth with the back of your hand.

“Didn’t mean to wake you,” you apologized, relaxing again when a nonchalant hand was waved at you. They seemed genuinely unbothered, Dominik rubbing his eyes and Rhea stretching as she yawned.

“Want some?” you asked both of them.

As intrigued as he seemed by the offer, Dom still looked to Rhea for an answer - or, perhaps, for permission.

“Hmm… why not,” she decided, giving you both a smile, “Finn’s friend JD is still trying to get in with the Judgment Day; we can have him drive us all to the next location if it comes down to it.”

Rhea leaned against the counter next to you while Dom sat down on the edge of the tub. The three of you passed the joint around, your girlfriend occasionally asking for a shotgun instead. Dominik finally built up the courage to ask for a shotgun from you on his last hit, pulling away to cough out the smoke.

“I think I have the munchies,” Dom groaned once he caught his breath - only a second before his stomach made a displeased, empty rumble in agreement.

“You still have some leftover chicken in the fridge. As for my girl and I… breakfast downstairs is still going for another hour,” Rhea said, grabbing Dom’s phone to check the time, “But I don’t want to deal with being swarmed by fans if I’m recognized.”

“I’ll grab us some breakfast!” you offer, rising to your feet, “It’s not like anyone will recognize me from anything.”

“You sure?” Dom asked, smiling when you nodded.

“Thanks, love,” Rhea said, pulling you close for a kiss before letting you go and gesturing around the corner, “Room key is on the desk.”

“Got it,” you nodded, grabbing the key card before ducking out into the hall.

Once you reached the lobby, the elevator doors opened, inviting in the delicious smells of a continental breakfast. You made a beeline for its source. Walking up, you grabbed a tray and two sets of utensils, falling into the self-service breakfast line with the other hungry hotel guests.

Once you had put everything together, you glanced at the newsstand near the end of the buffet and something caught your eye: a tabloid. Usually, you weren’t one to read such things, but what drew your attention to it made you do a double take.

“WOMEN’S CHAMP FINDS BELT BUNNY?“ the front page shouted; the less urgent text below it read “Ripley confirms open relationship, bisexuality.” Next to the headline was a photo of Rhea kissing you in the car as you picked her up from the show last night.

A smaller photo accompanied yours: a still from her interview that you didn’t recognize, where she seemed to be caressing a smitten-looking Cathy Kelley’s face. Maybe you shouldn’t have stopped watching that video so soon - but that was the least of your worries right now.

The lobby was suddenly too warm, too crowded, too well-lit. How many people had already seen it? Just the thought of what must be happening on social media right now made you feel sick to your stomach.

Your breathing started to speed up as you scurried back to the elevator, trying to keep the food securely on your tray while also avoiding every pair of eyes you passed. Punching the button with the “up” arrow, you immediately heard the chime that told you the elevator was already on the ground floor. The moment the doors slid all the way open, you dove inside and ran your thumb into your floor number.

Doors closed.

First floor…

Second floor…

The elevator felt slower and slower as your breaths became quick and shallow. The plates that sat on your tray began to rattle slightly as you trembled.

It was all you could do to keep anything from spilling as you finally, shakily stepped out in the direction of your shared room. Realizing you need a free hand to unlock the door - or even knock - you set the food down on a small table in the hallway.

All you could hear was your panicked breathing in the empty stillness of the hall as you grew dizzier, pulling the key card out of your pocket. It dropped to the floor despite you clumsily trying to catch it. Spots clouding your vision, you stumble slightly before allowing yourself to collapse.

[end part seventy-one of ?]

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Tag list (thank you!)

@littlemiss-fanficlover , @babybatlover , @girlofpink , @kagome2909 , @domripley , @wiccanpriestess , @falloutboy-lover , @aut0luminescence , @riverina69 , @itsrheasgirl , @1-800-sinister

#wwe fanfiction #the judgment day #rhea ripley #rhea ripley x reader #rhea ripley x dominik mysterio #dominik mysterio #dominik mysterio x reader #jd mcdonagh #weed #panic attack #the judgement day #specialinterestshows presents #absolute smokeshow

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infiniteorangethethird · 5 months

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maybe unpopular opinion but probably one of the least useful pieces of advice I've ever got as an auDHD person to the question of "how tf does one make friends" was to go and join clubs/groups that do hobbies I enjoy. Not only does this not actually answer the question of how to make friends (yknow, how to approach people, how to start a conversation, how to appear friendly enough that they don't immediately reject you for existing, how to actually keep them as friends later on, etc), but also the chance of me choosing to force myself into the discomfort of "making smalltalk with random strangers" is absolutely nonexistent when the alternative of engaging with a hyperfixation is not only socially acceptable but even encouraged

#autistic #autism #actually autistic #adhd #actually adhd #neurodivergent #actually neurodivergent #one time a friend of mine took me to a knitting club #she kept telling me beforehand how nice everyone was and #i shouldn't be anxious cuz they are all nice ppl #when we got there the social anxiety got to me #so to calm myself i took out my project of the time #i then proceeded to hyperfocus on knitting for the rest of #the two hours that we spent there #ignoring everyone else and not talking whatsoever #and since they didn't approach me either i just sat there in silence #she obviously couldn't pass up the opportunity to make fun of me afterwards #needless to say i never went back there again #cuz i mean if i wanna knit i'm gonna to it in the safety of my home #i don't need the added stress of masking in front of others #i still don't know how to make friends

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merverelli · 1 year

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just a couple of dirty bean boys!

#jacksepticeye #just like art #this was SO CLOSE to never being finished #art machine (me) broke halfway through but we did it #uni is............. going #even though im only doing 2 subjects im losing it man #i think its just ALL OF THE GROUP PROJECTS IM DOING #like my groups are fine theyre all sweet and nice but i just.#just let me do it by myself let me take 100% control without guilt let me only depend on myself doing it #im such a damn follower with group projects please itd be quicker if it was just me making my own shots instead of a second party coming in #and asking for my opinion when my opinion is always ''do whatever you want :)'' because i either dont mind OR i dont have the social energy #to say otherwise like theyd be fine with it but i just cant do it man i got anxiety of the social kind i cant keep going man i cant #i dont like feeling like im letting down other people or that theyre depending on me im bad under pressure #JUST LET ME DO IT ALONE AND ONLY DISAPPOINT MYSELF BRO CMON #the group projects are wrapping up soon so i cant complain but im screaming #besides that ive been good thanks for asking!

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silenthillbunni · 18 days

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🦭

#ok lol my social worker called me nd talked a little but so now i know they've approved it lmao.#ok i can relax abt that for now.. i still need a job tho 🥶#im not even against having a job like PLEASE i want one #i want to be financially independent #im good at saving nd stuff like plz plz #but yeah im 25 w no experience plus i have avpd so idek how to practically find a job #i just dont know. i realize that sounds stupid but my disorder is ssly limiting me 😭#fuck. still dont know if i can sleep bc im so stressed abt everything #also got me thinking abt how i dont wanna get old. like genuinely i dont want it #i want to be 50 max nd thrn im done. wnna blow my brains out lol #after my mom passes away (when shes old it's gonna be at least 40 more years!!!!!) im finished #so i want to live for the moment i rlly do. i want to fit as much good as i can now #plus global warming.. i rlly dont think life as we know it now will last that long #so anyway.. too much anxiety wtfffff idk what to do lol

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seariii · 2 months

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Ah.... My legs are shaking.... I think my hands are very slightly too...

#The anxiety hasn't been noticed by the brain but has been noticed by my body #we have one more task we need to do before we can socialize #i am scared... wow... i know im capable and im always a little surprised when i notice just how capable i am...#the other day i was thinking i wanted to be like Rosita she knows what shes doing and is kind and takes care of others with such ease #she is so professional too and is so cool and pretty... but i guess i am capable too....#and as i eas writing thst I thought wait rosita is a self insert she IS me... which means... she doesnt know what she is doing #she is doing what she thinks is the best but she is just winging it and if she doesnt like it she pays the consequences and does it again #she likes to see others happy and is always running around making favors for them... but does she take care of herself?#ah... she does... she enjoys dressing up and going to the beach and fishing she loves to go to the museum and aquarium and the bug exhibit #she does stuff she loves too... and sometimes she doesnt have the energy to hang out and avoids others...#huh.... maybe she indeed is just my suit persona... okay.... *looks at hands* im still shaking...#the future is so scary isnt it? heh... its okay... we've got this... and lets order something and watch something when we arrive!!#i kinda wanna watch that movie that got sent to us heh #seari talks

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thegreatestheaver · 1 month

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planning courses for the next semester is not for the weak

#WHY IS EVERY SINGLE CLASS GOING ON AT THE SAME TIME.#WHY DO WE ALL START AT 9AM AND NOT GO PAST 11AM. PLEASE #please just strart at 1pmplease plase palseasee #i dont wanna take only 3 classes next semester but like erm.#mostly because im a little picky abt my professors. less so for electives but classes im worried about (SPEECH)#ive been pushing speech off for the longest time because i have crippling social anxiety 99% of the time. so i made sure i got a good prof #uhgghg #theres this one prof who does a lot of erm i think sociology classes yeah #she is so chill and nice and uses my prefurred name and pronouns (i really need to get my name chaged in the system uhghgh) but she did uh #the reverse grading and i hated it. everyone did. she was so nice and understanding..#one time i went 2 talk to her about my missing work (chronic pain and fatigue had me bed bound for days on end) and she literally just said #erm u have an A so u dont have to do it.#>@>>@>/1/1/?!?!?#live saver. i had a breakdwon in her office i was literally sobbing telling her about my health issues. it was really hard because i never-#-really talk about it. i didnt realize how hard it would be when i finally did #anywasy what was i saying. yeah i love her so much but not her grading and teaching system. but idk maybe ill try it again she has a gender #-and sexuality class i kinda wanna take because im a professional faggot

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tuliptiger · 1 year

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Just saw a post about a person being upset or frazzled that depression and anxiety are the "everyman" mental illness. I want to proceed this by saying I am NOT going to be shitting on this person at all and they have a point but I didn't quite agree with uhm the tone or everything about it.

I don't think it's wrong or bad that these two specific mental illnesses have a wider understanding and reach. They have been watered down for lack of a better term because they have come to mean many things including less debilitating symptoms and signs. This is not to say it's bad, I don't think. I think it's objectively good that more people are able to look at themselves and talk with medical professionals and be able to be helped for any severity be it minor or major.

And that was their main point of contention though because the more debilitating cases of anxiety and depression are taken less seriously when using the terms "depression" and "anxiety". I think that is completely a valid point and reasonable thing to be upset about.

However...

I do not think the answer is to "take back" the terms and that also isn't what they said or implied either. What I really heard from them and that post was "when I talk about my life altering devastating mental illness I want to be taken seriously and understood without having to go into detail or explain it" (because the last part can and is incredibly exhausting and frustrating especially if it is not outright understood or has a base assumption of the less debilitating ideas and versions). What I heard was "I want to be taken seriously". That ISN'T what they said but it is what I understood from it.

In which case the solution to this is for people to respect each other, listen to each other with good intentions and faith, and take each other seriously when we talk about ourselves. Unfortunately that's an individual and societal problem that runs a little too deep for this post.

As for the terms, there probably does need to be a language separation between severities of depression and anxiety even though there are rough versions of those already. Like social anxiety, moderate depression, major depressive disorder, chronic depression, oct, ptsd, etc. The very word depression has kind of lost it's oomf but I think for a relatively good reason. Maybe there should be an entire other word for major depression that doesn't include that phrase though to help with that communication gap. IDK. My two cents if that's worth anything.

#watering down #words #depression #anxiety #mental illness #who knows man #i have both and they are both minor #TO ME #who knows how someone else would handle my mental illnesses #i think its all pretty personal and unique and not at the same time because some #feels or has felt what anyone else has felt or feels at any one given moment #no one is truly alone in their suffering or hardships #anyway #i directly benefitted from this of the terms because unless I did show major signs and symptoms i dont #think i wouldve ever been taken seriously or got help if this happened a couple decades ago #who knows maybe it would've gotten worse without the help and then i could justify calling what i have depression #and thats me being defensive about this im glad i got the help when it was minor and im glad the terms were available to me #i am sorry that people dont take common words seriously though im the cultural social sphere we live in though #i think people should just take you seriously no matter

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lunarsapphism · 1 year

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there really is something so devastating about having a parent that has a literal degree in psychology (specialized in child psychology) who worked as a birth to three child developmental resources coordinator for like fourteen years and knowing that because of those things, they will never believe you when you think you have something because they think they know more than you and also know you better than you know yourself. and in any scenario the only way they will EVER agree with you is if they came up with the idea of the diagnosis first. wild shit honestly

#i love my mom #i really do #however she fully does not believe i am autistic #although she does think i have depression/generalized anxiety/social anxiety/adhd/ocd tendancies/sensory issues/auditory processing issues #like girl. the umbrella diagnosis for these things is literally right fucking there. its autism #but no! she doesnt think thats right and she never says it directly to me but she makes it abundantly clear #she doesnt believe in self diagnosis even after multiple years of research. shocker #she really is holding onto that psych degree that she got 20 years ago for dear life #like bestie update your fucking research. this is literally your job.#when i go to u and am like woah this list is genuinely a record of like half of my literal personality traits but instead of being listed #as personality traits theyre characteristics of autism #u should be like wow! yeah youre right! thats crazy idk how i missed that but now we know!#not yeah. hm. we can go get you diagnosed if you want #(implying that she will take me to a psychiatrist to get diagnosed soley so that i can be proved wrong)#anyways. its just like. absolutely bonkers to me #aiilov-personal

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lisxdumbr · 10 months

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I feel so abandoned lately.. it's like I'm a little girl and today is my first day of school and I know no one once again. sigh

#vent in tags?#so aheem. yeah it happens that my friends and i always play together #but when one of us can't make it none of us play because we want to be together yknow #but it happens that today I wasn't going to be able to join. and one of my friends just went-#”oh nevermind. the two of us can join to advance and you can come another day when you're able”#and i just ? idk it kinda freaked me a bit because it's the first time they say that?#but well i agreed because idk. my first thought was that they were very excited to play or something. but it did make me feel a bit. uneasy?#and yeah i tell them that i may be able to join around 11 but they just. ignored my messages #and i waited for them to reply but the reply never came #and i still opened our disc server to see if they're there and yeah. they're talking. they were projecting something a while ago too #and idk it's not that deep but i do feel a bit bad. if it had been any of the other two we would've agreed not to play till another day #but the very first time this happens it had to be with me as the subject #I've always had a rooted social anxiety that i thought i had overcome in the past but i don't think i have #my thoughts are spinning and i feel bad and the recent friendship paranoia i got is not helping #if i was normal i would probably join the vc and ask them directly why they aren't answering my messages but I'm not brave enough #so i guess I'll play alone tonight and tomorrow we'll see #but i feel very sad and lonely right now #:(#vent #rant

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echoesofadream · 10 months

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okay one way i am autistic tho is the way i have super strong emotional empathy but really hard for cognitive empathy . And like when people make fun of empaths by all means but i know that when i feel other peoples feelings its not necessarily accurate because im projecting myself into their situation

#but im good with eye contact with close ppl #And good with touch unless overstimulated or similar #My interests are broad and fluctuating #and on and on the list is long #lets stop here.#But they had my mom fill in a list and according to it i did not have many autistic or adhd behaviors as a kid #also i think my dad is the way he is bc of: 1. Being almost deaf 2. Upbringing and 3. Narcissicm #As well as the brain disease he had as a baby possibly giving him brain damage #And maybe we are complex! As humans #And im really similar to mom #and i know i have generational trauma from her #And/or a lot of her anxious traits #I think also me being kind of neglected as a kid has affected me a lot #Im lucky compared to many others like i had a good childhood in the big picture #I dont wanna complain bc overall i was treated well #But children are delicate and even just small things can make huge impact #Also i was sick as a kid #And then got my eating disroder and stayed home from school for over a month and when i got back i was never the same #I think thats when my social anxiety got a lot worse and i changed #Become almost completely silent #And in turn become completely alone and after that #ive slowly become someone who cannot function #Because we cant function isolated and alone for years #depression and anxiety

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void-tiger · 11 months

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I’m learning that my interpersonal jealousy isn’t so much exclusivity and wanting to hoard someone else like a dragon—it never has been. And I’ve been on the receiving end of that many, many times, some of which has been actively malicious versus just the other person’s insecurity.

It’s moreso a cry of “what about me? Me too! This isn’t fair! Why not me?” And keeping that in-check when the other person isn’t that connected to me yet. Tell the inner insecurity gremlin to chill. Wait. Address that later if there is a later.

Because…actually I like it when someone else has their own life. Hopefully that’d also mean they wouldn’t begrudge me for having mine. Actually that’s what I find interesting and attractive about people, so I’d never want to stifle that.

…I just don’t want to be forgotten. I want to feel secure that the feeling of wanting to connect is mutual.

And…heck. All of my friendships are quite literally long distance, and my closest ones are with people who are usernames shortened to nicknames since they’re internet friendships. Some I chat with daily. Some it’s closer to once a week or once a month or longer—but that’s all fine because I feel secure with where I stand with them. We’ve reached a stable equilibrium. I respect their introvert needs to recharge, and they tolerate my more extroverted need to word splatter and have a back&forth conversation.

Because—at least for me—that’s what jealousy is: it’s an intense awareness of want/need and lack of equilibrium and security. It will go away if those needs are met if a relationship continues to form.