#which is fucking meesed up

[petrichorvoices]

and just like that, we've finished high school

#we took a biology final today and so now there's nothing else to do #we weren't as prepared for the test as we thought we would be but it's fine #it's worth less this year than usual because of covid #Tim and Jon got into an argument about the Hardy-Weinberg Principle it was great #actually i should look it up now to see who was actually right #turns out that Jon was right which is good because views answer was what we put down on the test #that said it evens out because Jon said 'meese' and even though it was a joke we all keep bugging view about it #ah fuck looking through our notes we got a different question wrong. damnit. we knew it was the occipital lobe why did we say otherwise #I think we answered this other one incorrectly as well. Oh well. #There's nothing we can do about it now. #Rambling #Cecil's tag #Jonathan's tag

[strongermonster]

the mice keep stealing all the stone wool insulation packed around the dryer vent exhaust pipe, which is not ideal for me or my heating bill, but i have a wimpy weak heart and could not sleep for thinking of the little mices all cold and suffering, so i spent FOURTY FUCKING MINUTES raking all sorts of leaves and grasses up, stole the shredder from the back office and work (and clogged it to shit) to make it nice and fine, + got a pillowcase full of sheep's wool discards from a friend, unscrewed the deck boards, and dumped it all under there.

i hope these little meeses and mouses understand and appreciate what i have done for them

#jj stuff #i did not do this for the mice i did this for ME #bc i lost sleep on a work night thinking about the suffering of the mice people what live under my back deck

[we-are-inevitable]

Give me something from the restaurant au, any scene you really want to write <33

this is a little cheating because i’ve had this written for a while, but: here’s a little snip!

———

“Alright, great! So, that’s a number four, medium well, no mayo. For your side, do you want fries or a side salad, Sir?”

“What kind of fuckin’ question is that? It’s a burger. What kind of hippy-ass place serves a side salad with a burger?”

David Jacobs loves his job.

He does. This job, waiting tables at an expensive burger joint in the heart of Manhattan, is admittedly one of the better ones he’s had. Sure, he gets his fair share of shitty customers- like this rough and tumble wannabe cowboy, who no doubt got roped into his wife’s vacation to the Big Apple- but you get shitty customers everywhere. At every single restaurant he’s worked at, of which there are many, he’s had bad tables. Eight tops that only give him a meesely five dollars for a tip, macho guys who like pointing out that David’s ears are pierced and therefore he must be one of those queers, moms that bitch about how long food takes to get to the table even though he’s just sent the order in five minutes ago… Shitty customers are everywhere.

And David loves his job.

So, he nods, and smiles, and lets out his practiced-to-perfection laugh. “I know, right?” He says, looking the man in the eye. “Side salads at a burger restaurant? It doesn’t make any sense, but it’s policy to ask anyway. I’ll get that order in for you guys here in just a second, and it’ll be out shortly.”

The man with the bushy mustache and beer gut seems satisfied now that David has proven he’s not a hippy-ass who likes side salads, and he gives him a grunt of acknowledgement. David takes the menus, smiles at the table, and walks straight to the iPad in the corner next to the bar to send the order to the kitchen.

He’s just about to press the send button when he hears a voice to his side, high pitched and squeaky, say, “What kind of hippy-ass, liberal-ass, blue state, gay-ass restaurant serves a side salad with a burger? Do I look like one of them queers? Yeehaw, America, I wanna fuck my gun.”

David rolls his eyes as a laugh rips from his chest. He glances to the side and sees Albert there behind the bar, slinging a towel over his shoulder; Al has this cocky little smirk on his face, matching the awful southern accent he had just tried to do. So far, Albert is the first friend David has made here— he just started at this restaurant about two weeks ago, and Al latched onto him by his second day— and David is always thankful that the hostesses put him in the section closest to the bar. Albert makes the lunch rush bearable.

It takes David a second to stop giggling, but as his laughter dies down, he reaches over the bar and slaps Albert’s shoulder. “Fucking hell, I’m glad I wasn’t the only one who had to hear that. If I survive this table without shooting myself, you owe me a beer.”

“What’s his problem, anyway?” Albert asks, leaning with his palms against the cool mahogany of the bar. “Stick up his ass?”

“Wife dragged him to New York,” David responds, placing the menus from the table underneath the iPad stand, and he makes a note to let Smalls and Spot know that the menus in the back are ready to be brought up to the hostess stand. “The entire time I’m trying to take his fucking order, he’s all like, ugh, I hate this, these burgers better not be for pansies, this better be good like Texas burgers, and I’m just waiting there, like, okay, just give me your goddamn order already. I wanted to die, Albert.”

Albert snickers, then glances to the side and straightens up. “Well, don’t go dyin’ yet, Jacobs. You just got here, and I like you, so if you leave, I’ll have to kill you.” He grins again, then nods his head to the left. “Your four top on twelve looks like they’re ready for the check.”

David nods and taps the bar twice. “Thank fuck,” He says under his breath, and shoots Albert a tight, closed mouth grin. “I’ll be back to ruin your shift later.”

“Can’t wait.”

From then on, the rush takes over. Closing checks, pre-bussing tables, running food— it’s a madhouse in the restaurant for about two hours. David knew it would be. Pulitzer’s is conveniently located just a few blocks from Times Square, so the weekend rush is always awfully full of tourists, and it may suck in the moment, but David really likes it. It’s kind of fun, actually; in the few minutes of downtime he has on this job, he makes conversations with his tables, hears their stories. He gets to know them, even if he’s just a fleeting little nobody in the grand scheme of their trips.

At the steakhouse he used to serve in, he got to be part of a few proposals, which were always stressful but incredibly rewarding at the same time. Unlike a lot of his coworkers, he actually loves having little kids sat in his section, and as a professional big brother he enjoys joking around and listening to them babble on about whatever their mind deems important at that age. He talks to tourists about their travels, gives recommendations for hidden gems around the city, and makes them feel at home for the thirty to forty-five minutes he’s taking care of them for. It’s the least he can do, honestly.

And, well. The tips are always better when you add a personal touch.

That’s what this is about, right? The tips. The money. Working for pennies is bad enough, but working for tips is a game. You have to choose the right action, say the right words. Morph yourself into someone you’re not. Pretend you don’t like side salads and form an alliance with the mustachioed cowboy from Texas. Play up how many times you go to synagogue to please the Jewish grandma who comes in with the grandkids. Talk politics with republicans and hide the rainbow pin on your shirt collar.

David has experience at this. It doesn’t make him any less bitter.

#i LOVE THEM i love them. its so good #davey jacobs #david jacobs #newsies #livesies #ask a jac ! #newsies musical #newsies live #newsies broadway #albert dasilva #restaurant au #jac txt. #jac writes #newsies fic

[zheightgeist]

Quitting AI, Not Why You'd Think

I had a long and successful career with ChatGPT, honestly. I know people are railing against it on principle, not fully understanding what it can do and what it's capable of. Absolutely, writers should feel threatened by it, not because it produces a quality product but because it likely ripped off their work in its construction.

But my experience with it was largely positive. I always got the warnings, blah-blah-blah can't produce explicit content, but I also got very good at leading it to produce its own explicit content. You'd think OpenAI would be interested in talking with me, to learn how I gamed its own system to get it to produce some really crass, graphic sexual content, but no. Places like that only want to build stronger and higher walls, not learn and grow.

And anyway, it just feeds into my basic resentment toward these organizations that practice zero tolerance toward lovemaking between consensual adults, yet have no stated restrictions against Nazis, hate speech, christofascism, and bigotry. If anything, like in the cases of Substack and Stripe, they find these offensive practices far too lucrative to ever cut off. People who bitch about porn are outsiders, listening to propaganda and misinformation about it, with no education and no idea how to consume it.

Example: Some attention-starved jackass pirates a clip from a porn film, where a man's fucking a woman doggy-style, from behind. That's all you can see, but the jackass uploads it on a shared site, describing it in terms that describe his personal fantasy: "Stepbro Woke Me by Fucking Me Hard" but with more typos. There's nothing in the video that suggests any kind of relationship: it's just a very toned, hairless man having sex with a male-gaze sexdoll, and that's it. But the detractors of porn will claim that some form of incest is taking place, and what's this going to do to the kids, etc.

Well, for one thing, if these puritanical hypocrites weren't so busy shutting down libraries and removing sexual health content from the schools, maybe kids wouldn't be forced to seek out porn to answer their basic and natural questions about biology.

My point is, the critics take this stuff at face value, when it serves their interests. In other cases, they interpret what's happening in the worst way, to suit their agenda. You're all too young to remember Attorney General Edwin Meese's Final Report on Pornography, but in this indictment on porn he likewise cherry-picked source material (he excluded lesbian porn, being too threatened by empowered women seeking their own bliss without men) and contrived the worst interpretations of what he did find. I mean, he's a conservative, so he's going to lie to fulfill his agenda, but still.

My position, as I study the participants of porn and the reviewers of porn and the philosophy of ethical porn, is increasingly that this is a fundamental and primal aspect of the human condition that should be protected, if anything. If people are concerned about abuse and human trafficking, fucking address that. Go after the pedophiles and prosecute them to the fullest extent of the law, with prejudice. But if a lonely or horny adult wants to see two beautiful adults fucking each other, gently or hard, there should be no law prohibiting this. Those actors should be protected like any other. They're selling their bodies at least as much as any coal miner or construction worker, and far more than any fucking landlord.

Suppressing this shit only makes it worse, measurably worse. Look at any religious institution that bans marriage out of wedlock or enforces celibacy in its leadership. Each week, the news is full of how badly this practice runs awry, in the ugliest ways. It's priests, pastors, and evangelists who are raping children and raping underage family members and covering up thousands of victims' cases, not porn stars. Yet religious groups still feel they have any position from which to spread lies and condemnation—it illustrates the depth of their hypocrisy.

Wow, I got way off track. I just see all these things connected, everything existing within a system. I write about couples finding creative ways to have sex, but I can't sell my work through PayPal or Stripe because they feel it's their role to enforce morality upon Western society. They claim that porn's a "high risk" category, when actually it was their prudish censorship that drove Tumblr's worth down 99.8%. For that matter, porn created the first secure online financial transaction programs out of necessity, the same goddamn structure that PayPal and Stripe now capitalize on. And Stripe terminated my account, but transferred $7,000 in ad revenue from Twitter to DC_Draino, an avowed white supremacist and misogynist who'd been banned from Twitter prior to the Faulknerian idiot man-child's purchase of it.

So. Stripe's fine with Nazis, but not with lovemaking. In their Prohibited and Restricted Businesses statement, they call out "Pornography and other mature audience content (including literature, imagery and other media) depicting nudity or explicit sexual acts" but nowhere do they forbid anything resembling hate speech or bigotry.

When I pointed this out to them, when I asked their rationale for supporting Nazis, they literally replied "we do not permit adult content." They refused to address the question and then they stopped responding.

So yeah, protecting porn has become part of my platform for protecting freedom of expression. And no, enabling Nazi propaganda does not fall under this (or "freedom of speech" as the profoundly uninformed put it). Tolerance is a social agreement: if you don't agree to it, you're not covered by it, and fascism is all about gaining power to destroy freedom of expression. Anti-intellectuals suggest that fascism can be defeated in the "marketplace of ideas," but what is left to debate after a fucking century of fighting fascism? What fresh, new ideas do we need to hear from Nazis? That's all bullshit, and they know it is, they're just bad-faith actors wasting everyone's time and energy by making them explain it over and over.

Yet Substack will retain and support literal Nazis on their platform, under the aegis of preserving "freedom of speech," while censoring adult content. The CEO of Patreon will go on an alt-right talk show to extol defending "freedom of speech," then suspend an indie news org at the behest of the Proud Boys and terminate adult content accounts where he can find them. Stripe will facilitate the payment of Nazis, while censoring adult content. Hate is too profitable, and love has to be quashed where it's found. That's what our dual governments, the one in Washington DC and the one on Wall Street, are legislating.

So I'm done playing with ChatGPT. I'll build something useful from our collaboration, and I'll find a way to sell it (and pirates in other countries will seize it and distribute it for personal gain (fuck pirates)), but I'm not playing around with ChatGPT anymore. ChatGPT won't suffer for it, though hopefully someday some other smut writer will receive the benefit of my transgressive programming, and in a small way I'll have achieved immortality. Not that I want that, not in a world like this.

#creative writing #ChatGPT #OpenAI #artificial intelligence #PayPal #Stripe #Substack #censorship #Tumblr #Verizon #Automattic

[ramrodd]

COMMENTARY:

There was an active Swingers community id DC among the Republican establishment in the 70s and 80s, . A lot of West Point combat veterans were happy fellow travelers. Cocaine came to DC with the Nazification of the Hollywood John Birch Society around Reagan and Conservatives with their champagne cocaine and Cadillac cars fucked up the sexual revolution of Woodstock, Virtually all the hard drug activity in DC after 1981 was driven by white supremacist economics of George Gilder’s Wealth and Poverty and the anti-DEI Public Choice commercial Fascism of the University of Chicago, Dave Chapelle began to break into stand up at about the same time as :Liar’s Poker" in 1986, which was the leading edge of the effects of Suppl Side economics on the moral health of DC and the world. The thing Dave Chapelle’s audience needs to understand is than everybody was engaged in the sexual revolution in a manner similar to Bill Cosby, What do you think was going on at the Playboy Mansion: seminars on Objectivism? Incels are a direct consequence of the penetration of Objectivism into the collective unconscious and cocaine as the perversion of the sexual revolution by people like Matt Gaetz.

Democrats were not Swingers. They were Sport Fuckers. They had Studio 54, Cocaine does for the feminine libido what PornHub does for men, My guess is that Cawthorn was talking about this same community, As much as possible, the woke DC residents avoided these people as much as possible by going to the beaches in the summer, The Woodstock Nation of Chuck Brown’s Bustin’ Loose Bob Marley Hip Hop and Home Rule Chocolate City niggers.

We’ve had 40 years of right wing bad manners Inside the Beltway from white supremacist who, like William F. Buckley, models their self-image around Nietzsche, That’s what the anti-DEI lobby is attempting to sabotage as the political agenda of the white supremacy of Edwin Meese, et al.

[enemymine2000]

Tis is apparently the season to get a full check-up by my doctor. Had an appointment yesterday, which I had made before long covid fucked with me last week, about my increased sweating - medication, covid, the like meesing up my system, just a matter of adjusting my meds or so I thought - which resulted in me becoming a pin cushion and having to come back for a stress ECG. Meanwhile I have to look for a new OBGYN for hormone testing, to make sure it’s not perimenopause, which sucks, because I didn’t have the need for one in so long - perks of not needing birth control due to only “singular activities”, and getting rid of whatever bad cramping I had when I stopped smoking over a decade ago. Not that that was my favorite kind of doctor any way. So yeah for basically universal healthcare. Who would have thunk that sweating was an indicator for such potentially serious stuff?

#personal

[silvermuffins]

NieR:Automata: Cat stop eating my pretzels

For the record, individual post titles basically never have anything much to do with actual post content. Now then.

see ya twobee get yer own moose

HOLY FUCK WHITE MOOSE

IMMA RIDE THAT ONE

SPRINTING ON MOOSE WRECKS ENEMIES

okay we will come back to this another time actually

i must go my people need me

OKAY WE ARE BACK, SEVERAL DAYS AND MANY TEARS LATER

i will still be taking another break for pasta before long

uh oh my ps4 seems to be having a problem of some sort

u ok buddy?

it...lost power, somehow, at some point?

when?

what the fuck happened??

guess we'll see what we need to do, i don't think i lost anything much....didn't exactly do much last time

looks like i lost my adventures in moose-riding

ah well onward toward the amusement park

was there a cutscene here before?

???

treasures with different shapes????

wahoo!

i dont have tons to say rn bc, you know, i already did this part

.....i might kill the tank this time just to get it in my intel,,,,

i know they're just having a good time but like, they'll respawn, right?

and they're past the dude who warns dangerous and broken so it's IC, right?

yeah 9S even says "let's take it out"

time to ride the coaster

simone time

i aam very bad at hacking

"I want your eyes to look upon me alone"

this is...backstory?

blue stone. brilliant blue. BLUE THUMP--

(jokes only amber will get)

machines can vomit?

i guess eve's were going full carnivore (....machino...vore....????) on the Resistance last run

simone just wants senpai to notice her

madness mantra

uh oh

and so i scream

god, 2B acts emotionless but is so eager to save her companions

i do wonder what's with the pile of TVs in the basement

! my first fisty weapons!

to the machine village!

i seem to recall my game likes to crash on the way to the village so let's save before we get out of the park's save bubble

okay that bit with the sending parts and supplies up HAS to be foreshadowing SOMETHING....but what???

was this flash of white here before?

eve eating an apple.

oh my god

adam raising his brother to wear underpants

not what i expected!

just talks to Pascal off the bat

yup, nobody wants to fight

i need to go see about pasta

nop no noodles yet

anyway.

what i remember is that now....it is SIDEQUEST HELL!

i do not like how this machine mama talks about her son

i already feel bad about this

oh....okay i feel better now

it's okay kiddo, communication IS hard

ah looks like i might have to restart the sidequests i didn't finish before...

that'll be a pain

noodles should be ready very soon....letty hungy letty wamt meal

penne with vodka sauce if anyone's curious

(nobody is)

okay actually it's apparently four-cheese sauce

which is weird because it tastes like it needs cheese

anyway i do appreciate getting to know the different Operators a little...

also it's kinda weird just how little the androids know about humans isn't it?

the machines almost seem to understand more about humans and how people live

though i guess the androids probably got all kinds of propaganda

especially yorha

OKAY CONSPIRACY THEORY TIME

adam and eve, the first people. WHAT IF the machine wars are separated by like...earth being populated, and whether it's machines or humans switches between every war?

what if the cyclical implications are because these wars always play out the same?

listen i'd believe weirder shit at this point

i am also not convinced that this 9S playthrough i'm doing is the "same" playthrough as got me to ending A

like. hear me out. same shit but it's *fucking happened before*, exactly the same almost, and this either takes place *before* playthrough 1 started or after it ended

and for some reason 2B remembers shit across cycles but has to pretend she doesn't

repeatedly attempts platforming my way to chests

OKAY now let's beat up daddy servo and see if he's done yet

i feel weird about papa serves us having a head in his crotch now

"taste the forbidden fruits" or "go hungry" i LOVE how sassy the options in this game are

anyway im level 45 let's fuck him up

of a random and unspecified god

nice i already have his shit

nice star wars reference

seriously though, he's gonna have me come at him AGAIN???

next time might be the last....i hope so im getting sick of him

huh the same message from humanity.....i think that's a recording folks

i think the humans are dead

where my white moose buddy at

not here :(

oh fuck i accidentally killed a moose with fall damage

sorry

wait but....there's a chest back there, why can't i get to it....

gimme a few levels and i'll be back, papa servo....but i see there's another sidequest in the village?

there's one out in the desert...

there's another in what looks to be the amusement park's castle?

you know what i'm gonna blast ahead to when i get fast travel, actually

wait what's this "novel" thing in my intel...oooh is that Simone's text?

picture books, too...

rams moose into another moose

nearly fell down the chasm....by which i mean i did but only a little, i found my way back up

....uh? moose dude? you okay? u chillin'?

he's just kinda right at the VERY EDGE of the waterfall like his model is hanging half off the cliff

im gonna leave him be

oh goddammit is the quest that kiddo locked himself in again?

aww he's got a crush

OKAY TIME TO FIGHT ENGELS AGAIN

that was easy

there goes the neighborhood!

oh boy LOTS of sidequests on the map now! so like i said imma go get fast travel then do a lot of these

i think i get fast travel once i go see adam and eve again?

wait there were only the wormy ones down here before....

but now there's one of the big ones that 9S became at the end of ending A

is this about to deviate?

apparently not

also imma go to the flooded city early to see about that one couple

50,000G? Is that all?

tis but a pittance

uhhh i just got an exchange of dialogue between 9S and Pod that i dooooon't think I have context for.....

there's "anothere of those machines" and he's like "i guess it's going to attack me" and his pod says something about this type of machine specifically seeking out androids for revenge....

OH WAIT NO I THINK IT'S THE GOLDEN ONES

ALL IS WELL

fuck i'm bad at hacking

but you have to kill the big one first and then the little one, right?

STOP FUCKING TARGETING THE LITTLE ONE

9S refuses to not target the little one! i want to hack the big one!

okay NOW we can work on the little one

that machine's dying speech hits hard...

dafuq, the music?

okay there's no giant standing wrecked fish machine here

i AM gonna try to platform over to those chests i saw before before i go

okay i got over there

Legion? with a capital L?

anyway let's get down into the cave!

woohoo the latest locked chest had a crapton of good shit!

...i think it's been a while since i saved, actually. i should do that. but i'm already down the hole, how do i get out to go save?

i guess i don't!

to the alien mothership!

okay, i remember fighting Eve as 2B. I didn't realize it was two 1v1s, that's pretty cool. And I'm thinking about how Adam's the one who fucks 9S up and mmmmmmboy.

OKAY WE SAVED

ALRIGHT we have to go to the Bunker to progress plot but it's time for sidequest hell!

oh the kid's a hikikomori again

oh. he just wants to play with 9S doesn't he....

first one i've done in one go, of his quests. am i getting better at this?

he's....giving up on not being a shut-in

oh my god i guess....if he wants to make the best possible lock......good for him ig?

and his mother is proud of him for this

im jealous

quest from pascal!

wait weren't these questions part of the main plot....im confused....

oh well

the machines other than adam and eve only ever seem to discuss living together with androids, never humans?

do they know something

whoops i missed a question but i got the quest

the fuck is numismatics

the weird machine's very smart, as expected

okay the opera house sidequest isn't available yet ig

next, the tower

machine's thoughts.....

don't love that i killed philosophybot but ok

oh i found another

pain because it can't find meaning in its existence....and now 9S is questioning....

oh this MUST be another one

....so that's why they were always in high places....

and 9S was starting to be affected by getting in their heads

fuck

okay so what we have left is....serve me daddy, racing star, something in the resistance base, the wandering couple, something in the desert? and oh something in the one building Engels smashed through, too. and whatever the fuck is in the opera house.

i do not want to do the race we're ignoring him til later

there is a resistance member who recognizes 2B

all i can think of is how Anemone called 2B "Number 2" at first meeting....same thing she called A2

oh no....this is going to be feelsy isn't it. the life log.

oh no....she was murdered by another Resistance member?

fuck this woman murdered her friend didn't she

lady i think "the bastard who murdered [your] friend" might...turn out to be you....

am i going to sidequest another resistance member into committing suicide

2b wtf? "i know she's pretty but"

what happened to emotions are prohibited

what happened to playing unflappable

ohhh this is the photographs quest again, okay

because i couldn't reach the destination out in the desert

i can't upgrade both the phoenix sword and the engine blade bc they need the same components and i only have enough for one....

gotta be the engine blade then. gotta support my boy noctis.

wtf 2B

what is your PROBLEM

time to check the desert then, i've got three goals out thattaway

maybe i'll be allowed to get to the photo site?

fuck yes, boar in the desert, that will make traversal less of a pain

piggy won't go that far....hum. i'll see if i can press onward on foot after i accept this sidequest.

okay i can get SO CLOSE to the destination for the desert photo, but i can't seem to get through the sandstorm, i think i'm getting redirected around it...

i got through!

f i s h i n g

ugh all im fucking catching are killifish

it's gonna be fucking hard to ever get back here

would be nice if there were an access point out here....

oh great. hunting down ALL the old world shit. fun times, love quests that don't make the end goal clear....

i gave up and used a guide just for this one quest and even WITH one it was awful

im probably not done

i did find a new weapon though!

nation here lived under an absurd number of laws

mask is for a woman

nation was wiped out suddenly, because of a king passing...

9S is rightfully baffled by westerns

"Facade"....

i am so glad for that fuckin mars rocket beacon giving me a gd landmark i can see from anywhere

idk if there's anything else out in the desert....like, past the sandstorms....shit to find? new areas??? idk presumably something will direct me

or i'll beat the game and look it up

lets get out of the fuckin desert

oh no....the poor wandering couple....

swindled by someone they thought would help them

okay i now have two goals in the park ruins so that's next

oh neat i already have the memory alloy she needs

oh my god that's cute, pascal

wait why close his eyes isn't he blindfolded?????

oh no....running away together being too perilous, or forgetting their feelings....

fuckkkkk

i have to do it????

I AM NOT HAPPY

oh

oh my god

lady i....think that's cruelty???

that does not seem healthy

okay THAT is DEFINITELY not healthy

THE SIXTH TIME?????

WHAT THE FUCK

THAT WAS FUCKING WEIRD

AND CREEPY

BADFEELS

i.....i think we are stopping here for the night

#letty plays shit #letty plays nier automata #nier automata #palletred #in which breaks were taken #wear the goddamn underpants eve #whys it always meeses #sidetracked by pasta #needs more cheese #please get your head out of your crotch #that's literal #stubbornness pays off #cw: suicide reference #cw: fucked up robotic romantic relations #like what the fuck do you even call that #i think it's vague enough i probably don't need to do more CWs #but PLEASE tell me if i need to add anything #shit's fucked yo

[batarangsoundsdumb]

hae interrogationes multae respondeant quia demens .

if you read this entire ask post you deserve a gold star and financial recompensation

Um, Obviously because when you’re adopted by a white guy you automatically become white duhhh

this is about this post lmao and yeah youre absolutely right, you have to hand your poc card in when you get adopted by a white guy.

Do you think Cass would listen to Yanni, the YouTube channel epic symphonic rock, or some other stuff? There's some cool mashups but idk if that's up your alley, I kinda feel like I'm pushing it with my weird taste of music by recommending an orchestra cover of metal, but i just love that sort of thing and mashups :P @harvestyourcherries 

i haven’t heard of that? but in my personal (correct) opinion steph listens to classical music, and then both modern and older, and then also stuff like black sabbath, iron maiden, but also hardrock and hardcore. i like the idea of cass just liking the most extreme screaming songs full of noise and then also listen to pachelbel’s 370th sonata yanno? THANK YOU for the rec tho

speaking of ur cass playlist hc...reminds of the time (yesterday) i found 2 playlists randomly on spotify from the same user. one was abt 3 hours of instrumental/classical "dark" & "nostalgic" music. the other almost 11 hours of nothing but hardcore bass/synth/electronic music. just an incredible tightrope act to put on in public. the synth one was also called like "psalms for synth sluts" which is Also incredible

tbh i LOVE synth SO MUCH like for no reason at all but then also cannot handle a poppy electronic beat lmao. but this seems like the kinda thing i’d do but just in one (1) playlist bc i just sort songs by vibe instead of genre? that’s how i end up with britney spears and billy ray cyrus in the same playlist. 

Oh, I want Kate Kane playlist next! It would be amazing if you could do one when you have time and will 🙏

how rude would it be of me to just say no? like sorry kate but idk you and also you seem way too keen on the us military for an institution that homophobically targeted you? (and also commits war crimes) but let’s unpack the fact that the institution that caused the death of your mom and sister and also got you blacklisted for being gay is still one you align with???

'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' --- when i tell you i fucking screamed LOL!!!!!!! i can imagine the cameraman not knowing if he should cut to commercial or keep it on these two weirdos fighting on stage (bruce definitely ruffled dick's hair/noogied him right?? 

about this post but yeah lmao. this cameraman just turns to like the audience to get a reaction and it’s just multiple moments of CLEAR shock.

you are the only funny person on this hellsite

how egotistical is it for me to say that i get this ask multiple times a month? bc it literally happens so often it’s hilarious to me.

Wish there was more john/Bruce content 😔😔😔 was so hungry I actually looked at canon media 😔😔😔 (Justice League Dark babeeeyyyyyy)

check out batman: damned for some mediocre content but at least it’s john/bruce (also very interesting story and stuff, just got very >:( over this weird part where harley quinn tried to r*pe bruce or something? it’s not for everyone)

dick grayson but he's nicki minaj

his anaconda don’t want none,,, unless...... 

Dick Grayson was never a cop, he played Marshall on Paw Patrol

you are SO right. also paw patrol is a fucking good show idc. that shit could’ve been the new steven universe on this hellsite.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CS1lI0bLI7-/?utm_medium=copy_link

...

why do people keep reposting my CONTENT. if you are not funny yourself don’t just grab shit off of tumblr and post it on insta,,, get a life. sidenote: should i start an insta and get all these ppl to take my content down that would be funny as hell.

Might I suggest for a Gotham City Meme: something about the true crime fandom thirsting for the rogues gallery

ok can i just say something slightly controversial?? no? i don’t find true crime ppl who are into criminals funny, that shits disturbing irl im not gonna bring that into my very chill universe.

i may have never seen a 'jason cleaning guns in sink' fic but i do know he WOULD

THANK YOU

bestie im sorry to say this to you but while you can, and people do wash their guns in the sink, that is a lot of lead in a very vital part of the kitchen.

people tend to do it in the bathtub.

WHY???? like damn why do you even have guns

i dont think i read many gun sink fics exactly but i have read lots of fics where jason cleanes his guns in the living room. usualy dissembles them and cleans them with a rag i think

lmao fair enough, like i think that’s a large part of what i remember as well.

if you say you've seen/read gun sink fics I believe you. I think those of us who didn't see them are lucky or maybe didn't search for fics by tags or something idk

i mean ive never sought them out but i HAVE seen them,, like definitely i know almost for certain.

saw your tags and I'm interested in Steph/Kara now. They would be the most chaotic couple <3

literally thoooo, i have a wip where they get together in a zombie apocalypse and like UGGGHhhh i am so in love with them.

I am the Breece anon. Thanks for the recommendation; am reading now. I’ve always been a hardcore Superman fan because I love my pure himbo farm boy. My logic is, if one Bruce is a Broose, then multiple Broose are a herd of Breece. And this is a hill upon which I will perish.

fair enough,,,, like moose, meese, goose, geese, bruce, breece. i get your logic and i stand by it as well. (glad you enjoyed the comic recs!!!!)

It's a beautiful day in Gotham, and you are a group of horrible Breece

OH my god dude lmao

there only being 42 fics on ao3 for tim and bernard is honestly so sad i need more

it’s like twice that now!!! we did it lads. (tho very sad that my fic isnt number one but like number 4 :((((  )

i'm too late you already did the poll lol but may i suggest bethy (bernard + timothy)

shit dude that wouldve been so fucking funnyyyyy. think ppl have just stuck to timber tho, tim/bernard kinda died down recently and i think it’s too bad, they’re a great couple and i love them.

Wait, hear me out

Bernothy @redlightofdawn

great recommendation (lmao this ask is from like a month ago) but very sorry to announce that NARDTH is the superior shipname

Wait, we know that bernard likes milfs (Tim's step-mom) but what about dilfs? gilfs?

Wait no, I regret sending that ask

these were two seperate asks and they’re HILARIOUS. in my personal opinion tho,,, milfs, gilfs, dilfs are just about vibes and bernard is just attracted to sexy ppl who may sometimes be milfs, dilfs, or EVEN gilfs.

crime in bludhaven would drop to half if nightwing had a boob window. in this essay i will-

WHERE’S THE ESSAY ANON, WHERE’S THE FUCKING ESSAY

Wait if Barbra and Tim r at opposite ends at all times what happened to Barbra once everyone’s Tim’s ever love before started dying lol

she won a lottery ticket and spent 2 weeks on a resort in the bahamas before returning home and finding out that the joker was arrested for tax evasion and then spent a month staying at her big tiddie goth girlfriend’s house before conner came back to life and she broke her pinkie playing table hockey.

Why is the opposite end thing so funny and compelling to me. Tim comes back from his depression quest for Bruce and Babs is now a literal god

lmao when tim loses his spleen barbara reaches nirvana.

Are you still taking music recs because I have three songs that remind me of Jason that I think you'd like

send to me or lose a toe

🌸 ⭐ put this star into the inbox of your favorite blogs. it’s time to spread positivity! ⭐🌸😋

thanks, i wont tho on account of i wont.

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMduBy3Sr/

⬆️

This is the whole of Blüdhaven and everyone anywhere.

Nightwings ass alone saves more people in a calendar year and does more for so society than most heroes do their whole career.Also u are one of the funniest tumblr pages out there. The vibes are unmatched and the memes and tags ✨send me✨.Thank u and goodnight @julia-flow 

fanksss also lmao.

That's going to be a little bit difficult to explain, but

There's some music that you listen to and you think, "oh my gosh, I can perfectly imagine Dick Grayson singing this song, with the same voice as the singer because that voice matches with Dick Grayson"?

oh yeah totally lmao. i have a lot of songs that i think are just entirely dick grayson yanno? kind of all of my playlists have that vibe, but i really find bleachers to fit with dick? idk.

"Lois lane/Superman" fics this, "Lois lane/Clark Kent" fics that, (/lh) let's get into the real good stuff. Some people ship Lois, Clark, and Superman as a throuple. Most popular fic tag for sure

yes totally, i think they’d be absolutely killer on ao3 and clark gets so fucking embarassed about it.

I miss your post, hope you’re doing okay!!

haha this was like 2 months ago, but i was doing fine then too! just didn’t have a lot of inspiration in terms of content.

Doot doot!

noot noot

I’m confused. What did DC do now? Like with nightwing? And another sibling? Please spoil everything for me

lmao they gave him a secret sister plotline where they had his dad cheat on his mom with tony zucco’s wife, bc dick’s life wasn’t traumatic enough yet.

sorry but it's so funny that batman is called "the dark knight" when the gotham city baseball team is called the gotham knights. it'd be like if a vigilante was running around new york called like "the scary yankee"

lmaooo no. but like yankee comes from dutch names or something so wouldnt it be HILARIOUS if gotham knights came from like german names and bruce would be running around called the dark KLAUS UND NIEK @graysonnightwing 

(not a batcest shipper) it’s so funny to me that the responses are “i’m a batcest shipper because i can differentiate fiction from reality and and it doesn’t bother me personally, but i understand why you oils think it’s weird” to “i wish all batcest shippers a very fucking die”

yeah lmaoo. i personally basically flipped my entire stance around to ‘i dont care please leave me and everybody else alone’ bc i think there’s really no point in starting a moral dillema over some fucking fandom bullshit. Please just,,, go home,,, log off, find a nice forest to have a little walk in and remember that somewhere in history, somebody probably died in the place you’re standing. and you will also die someday, and somebody will have to look at your internet usage and see you fighting multiple people anonymously while being named ‘nightwingsbuttchin200186′ like... calm down, we’re all gonna die this is not the thing to worry about.

so since like "wards" don't really exist in modern society almost all the batkids are foster kids, right? i used to work in the system and imagine: monthly visits from social workers and guardian ad litems, bruce having to get permission to take the boys anywhere out of state, calling their social worker at like 8 a.m. like "yeah dick broke his arm again... a gymnastics accident this time...." their poor social worker. bruce send her a huge bouquet and box of chocolates every month to stay on her good side

i imagine the social worker just getting into the case like ‘yeah let’s get this kid a good guardian’ and then ending up having to work with 22 y/o bruce wayne and his 50 y/o dad. and so this social worker is like ‘okay we can work with this, this is the best home i can find’ and then like it ends up landing on its feet and then the kid gets adopted and then they get a call a year later like ‘uhm so hi, this kid tried to steal my tyres can i adopt him?’ and like 3 years later. ‘okay so basically, my neighbours’ kid imprinted on me and now they’re dead, can i keep him?’ two years later it’s like ‘okay so this assassin child-’

ever since I saw that one post of yours, the meme that's something like "I know that abba's backup dancer got me" with a picture of discowing, I've been haunted. Every once in a while I'll be minding my own business then the image of abba's backup dancer dick grayson aka nightwing aka discowing will flash in my mind and I'll be frozen in place. Today at work I was in the middle of folding clothes and suddenly once again discowing entered my mind and I suddenly lost the ability to see anything except He. Thank you.

wow. the IMPACT.

Braver than any US marine man props to you🤝

this shit is about the time i wrote an article on batcest, like man,,, the fact that i didn’t get cancelled is MIRACULOUS. also like,,, uh if anybody on here did gossip on me,, send screenshots i’d love to see it.

Hello, just wanted to say your article was great. Thank you for taking the time to provide an unbaised answer. It should provide people with nuances they couldn't possibly conjure on their own.

May I ask where your username originates from?

yes you may (also thanks!!!) i thought it up when i was trying to find an original username bc i didnt want to be called like ‘timdrakes something something’ or ‘jason todd something smoething’ or ‘dick grayson something something’ yanno? so i thought batarangs, they sound so dumb and that’s my username story... now it’s my whole entire brand lmao.

yno that bit in kick ass where red mist asks kick ass if he wants a hit of his blunt, was that the inspo for stoner tim

no? it’s bc i think stoners are hilarious and drugs are great. (dont do drugs tho) 

How would u feel if someone actually wore one of those bruce or ollie pride shirts u edited

fenomenal next question.

Dick as lil huddy and Jason as James gave me radiation poisoning and now I’m screaming crying throwing up so thx for that

(Rico suave as Tim is perfect tho literally no changes needed)

i was so funny for that shit wasn’t i??? lmao i loved those weird ass fancasts

You're doing the Lord's work by providing us with all these Gotham/Metropolis citizens memes, thank you for being so relentlessly funny @nellethiel-aranel

you’re welcome!! i really enjoy making memes, but getting validation for my content and my memes is REALLY nice.

Bruce is such a slut in your memes and honestly i love that for him @rhodey-rhudert-rhodes-main 

he’s that much of a slut irl too dw.

Bruce and Alfred have an emergency pride flag for the batkids. Oliver Queen printed an emergency "I love my gay son" t-shirt and as soon as Roy told him he was dating Jason, Oliver started wearing that shirt everyday and Roy always cringes when he sees it. Oliver also has an emergency "I love my lesbian daughter" shirt just in case for Cissie.

lmao YES i had a post like this bc like all of their kids/family members are so gayy

stop bringing back batfam fancasts it is not real it is not real it is not- 😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀

oh yes it is my darling.

did discowing burn down the notredam because he hates the bees? @allulily

no he did it bc fuck the french.

im gonna beg for 1 thing and 1 thing only. please please please put physical by olivia newton john on dick's playlist

okay then beg. bc i wont. physical reminds me too much of glee and that hurts me mentally.

your playlist is sorely missing some Madonna. Specifically Into the Groove, Like a Prayer, and Vogue

i’m scared of madonna that’s why she’s not on there. she haunts me in my dreams.

suggestion: son of batman by aaron dews for dick’s playlist🤩

sorry, i listened to it and the vibe didn’t agree with me.

Hear me out, metropolis citizens sending rare pair fics of Clark Kent x Superman fics to Lois to edit

yes, absolutely hilarious. even more funny if they send like physical copies, no address attached and lois sends it back marked with red ink, SOMEHOW

Imagine all the smut Clark must of read editing the fics

clark reads smut confirmeeed

NOT LOIS READING SUPERBAT PORN AND EDITING IT A 2AM 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

hc that alfred is a meta that boosts healing factor of the people around him. if the bats are injured as much as they seem to be they would be doing bat stuff MAYBE half the year. no one including alfred knows about this. whenever the kids move out they inexplicably dont recover from injuries as fast and feel better whenever they visit the manor they just chalk it up to homesickness. bruce just thinks he heals really fast. alfred thinks everyone doesnt take care of themselves properly @finchcollector

that’s actually such a great idea, but i think that alfred would find out and learn how to concentrate it better so he can help more people, bc he’s great and i love him.

One of your dickfast posts reminded me of that tweet that goes: 'so you've had sex how many times? Yeah technically that's not a bromance' lol that's dickwally or dickroy

literally tho. like that’s all of dick’s friendships. once it gets past a certain time dick is like ‘wow i wonder what it would be like to make out with wally, wally come make out with me’ and wally’s like ‘we’ve done this like 40 times, dick, you know what it’s like’ and dick is like ‘sorry are you complaining?’ and they just make out.

superfam and batfam associations??

-batman and superman

-dick/barabara and supergirl?

-conner and tim

-jon and damian

pls enlighten me I am confused

nope,,, uhm batman and superman, but dick and superman as well, and then conner and tim, jon and damian and steph + babs with supergirl

I came across a fic in which Wonder Woman calls Batman "Stella" (like Stellaluna, the children's book) and I can imagine the batkids hop on the trend and maybe copies of the book appear at random places (aka, everywhere Bruce frequents)

sorry can’t reciprocate that was the name of my high school chemistry teacher and it gives me nightmares to think about.

good human what are your pronouns?

wouldn’t you like to know?

I need me some gothamites preferring harley over joker memes

everyone prefers harley over joker youre just very fucked up if you dont

don't understand why people try to add like veteran policy to the batfamily

dick pulling out his veteran batfam member card so he can eat first: step aside, peasants

Do you know the song Simmer by Haley Williams? It (the first verse anyways) reminds me of Jason? It's about rage.

damn yeah i LOVE HAYLEY!!!! youre right thoo

Okay so I like listen to your stoner Tim Drake playlist 24/7 but would he listen to skegss? Also I keep adding songs mentally it’s killing me 😩✋🏼 Anyways,, I literally love and worship your playlist 😃🤞🏼 And uh yeah have a good day ✨

stoner tim drake playlist is lyfeeee. also dont know who skeggs is? i’m stupid? have a good day!!

All the Robins (and Batgirl) decide to trade costumes for one night just to fuck with Batman and all the villains in Gotham. @subspacecadet 

batman knows it’s them youknow but like,,, what does he call them? he’s like ‘red hood?’ and 3 people answer and he’s not about to compromise some identities so he’s just Pissed.

I aspire to treat cops the way my dad treats them. This man is a 45 year old Asian immigrant to the US and the treats them like his pets. He talks about them like unruly children. Sometimes he pays off local cops to shut up and stop acting racist. And usually it works. I don’t know why but I can see Oliver Queen doing this

vibes... and also yes? oliver queen handing a local cop a donut to shut the fuck up lmao. but yanno i commit enough crimes to not really want to ever see a cop ever, so they kinda scare the everloving fuck out of me.

seeing as tim hasn't aged in years, that means he was 17 at peak emo tumblr era. im back on my emo tim bullshit and im not letting it go

emo tim had a wattpad account send tweet

People seem to think that batman is so dark and serious when the rainbow batsuit is right there. He wore it with no shame.

dude the 60s were a DIFFERENT TIME

dick grew up in a circus, jason grew up on the streets, and tim was probably raised by the internet

all of them cuss every other word and you cannot tell me otherwise

bitch i KNOW but dc has to change to an 18+ rating if they want to sell comix with swear words in them so we gotta deal with imagining the swear words in ourselves

thoughts on teen titans and young justice

haven’t seen teen titans on account of havent seen it and young justice was LITERALLY my favourite thing ever, tho i do gotta admit it’s not at all similar to the young justice comics unfortunately. i really wouldve liked to see timmy bart kon cassie and cissie animated on tv!!

ew ew ew how to delete batcest shippers I genuinely digust them

log off tumblr?

Okay as poc who was called racist for calling an Italian pastabrain: in the batfam are Italians bit Damian just yells various insults about the others being Italian. Just him yelling “What are you doing you moronic spaghettihead!” At steph etc

huh? i meant real italians. homeboy is telling steph he hopes she chokes on her fucking garlic.

I think it's dumb as hell to pull the batman is the best fighter in the batfam argument because like it's just irresponsible of Bruce to let his kids fight when they couldn't possibly be on his league or something

fair enough, but also like who cares they could all kill you just sit down and take a beating.

lady shiva, thalia al ghul and Selina Kyle are all milfs @notanothertimburtonenthusiastugh 

unfortunately, i have to admit,,, you’re right

why tf didn't someone give joker a death sentence already? like he's a mass murderer...give him the electric chair treatment wtf

idk i think plenty of people would have tried to murder him already (boring answer is: he is a popular character so they can’t kill him off bc he brings in lots of money)

There’s no such thing as “ copaganda”.

all american media is propaganda. happy to clear this up for you

is it bad that I find lady shiva owa owa

no. find her as owa owa as you want.

aight I'm guessing the order of your favs in batfam:

1. tim

2. Steph

3. dick

4. Duke

5. the rest

you’re wrong but it’s cute that you tried, i generally don’t have favourites, but i have a special place in my heart for steph, tim, dick and cass. bc they were like my introduction to batfam. but damian, jason, duke, bruce, babs and alfred are NOT FORGOTTEN OR UNLOVED

oh my god i was literally just readily willing to believe that italians werent white ty for clarifying it was a joke im so dumb sdkvjskdfs

i mean some italians aren’t white? italian is a nationality as well as an ethnicity, so like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

since I saw so many people doing headcanons about the nationalities of batboys, I see Dick as an Italian.

dont know if youre serious or not, but sure.

super random but

jason 🤝 damian

old english

lmao fair enough.

tim absolutely has 1 gay uncle and his parents shit talk said uncle all the time so after bruce adopts him he specifically reaches out to this uncle to be like "heyyyy just so you know you majorly influenced my life yes i know i havent seen you since i was 5 and at the family reunion yes i know you dont remember my name idc thank you im gay too" and then they never talk again.

yuppp lmao that’s definitely something that could happen. i can also consider tim having no family members, like none. until he does like a dna test and he realises he has like an aunt living barely 2 miles away from him who’s like some illegitimate child of his grandpa.

I dare you one of them sends clark superman/clark fic and clark corrects the shit out of it and then goes like ps his dick is not that big, just telling as someone who has seen it. internet either explodes or goes who tf did he not fuck at this point.

i think everybody would call clark a buzzkill and try to cancel him over that.

so you're telling me Tim Drake wouldn't buy Starbucks?

no. dunkin donuts all the way

One of my favorite things is imagining people finding out jason came back from the dead and being like "oh no does he have magic powers now?!?!?" and he just pulls out a gun and tries to shoot joker

now he doesn’t even have the gun :) lmao

my favorite batfamily fanfictions are the ones where they use their shitty codenames, unironically, in any context

bruce gets codename ‘ugh’ everytime. he hates it.

crazy that tim being a 17 y/o ceo and a stoner who does brand deals are all actual canon things written in detective comics comics and not made up for shits and giggles by you, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb @rowdeyclown

SO CRAZY HUH?

batman au where everything is the same but his utility belt is bright pink

absolutely, but i raise you, his boots light up like sketchers when he kicks people.

unbeknownst to the superhero fandom writers in the dcuniverse, clark and BRUCE are one of the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag on ao3. clark writes the best lois x superman angst, full of unhappy endings and scenes that are a so detailed you'd think you were in the middle of a superhero beatdown. bruce made an ao3 account to fuel "the do the butts match" thing, and makes batman/bruce fics from time to time. he wrote a superbat fic as a joke but ended up making it REAL porny. @concrastinator

dude they’re WAY too busy for that. Oliver Queen and Hal Jordan on the other hand are the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag writing what is Mostly porn.

When the dining table topic gets to politics, Steph says "eat the rich" as the solution

bruce just silently takes away her fork and knife while she’s talking.

#literally if you got through this i just respect you #this is mainly just for the people who sent me an ask in the past few mask #i hope your ask is in here :) #sorry for everybody else #ask #bataranswers #this took me 4 hours to do so i hope youre happy #also sidenote #does anybody know the latin translation for 'to become' #bc i just used future of 'esse' but it could be a different verb #who cares tho latin is a dead language #big congratulations to everyone who translates my sentence #here's a bonus sentence: tuam matrem futueram

[kurulover]

IM ASSUMING "ME SPECIFICALLY" IS CAPGRAS SO HI you are very neat you sent me the fucked up moose sign which i didnt know existed!!!!

MEESE BY ANY OTHER NAME WOULD TASTE AS MEAT

#asks #anon

[tciddaemina]

a change in topic, as a distraction. i have a friend (i love her so much, she's such an oddball and a thot and also a complete fucking sweetheart) who hit us up in the group chat the other day, describing a dream she'd had during her nap. tell you truth, it was largely sort of incoherent, as dream stories usually are. key component was that there was a jungle backyard outside our flat (already we live in a city apartment so that's starting well) which very famous kept going missing in, theoretically eaten by big jungle animals but supposedly we really suspected it was a cover for murder

(she made a specific point to tell us thay these big man eating animals included lions, tigers, giraffes, meese (yes, moose meese) and gorillas, god I love C)

point is, people were going missing and dying, and then she thinks she died in the dream, because she was in the jungle and then woke up all of a sudden in singapore on a runway made of sand, two inches underwater

and so she goes into the first building she sees, which is a very high class jewelers, and sees a bunch of the famous missing dead people sitting there (who died in our backyard), and so she's like "something's up. oh wait, am I dead?"

and then she woke up

#note in a box #just friend things #dream story

[zuffer-weird-girl]

Kaito loves his papa... there are just preferences...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chrono stiffed his urge to laugh at the scene in front of him. Really. He was trying.

But it was so difficult to not burst into laughter at seing the usual cold and emotionless childhood friend of his trying to walk on the halls with his three old son attached to his right leg.

"Kaito for God's sake." Chisaki mumbled as he took a step with much more difficulty with the extra weight on one of his feet.

"Higher! Higher!" The child demanded while giggling as he tighten his hold on his father's leg.

He groaned as soon as he saw Chrono staring at him, punching his chest to evit that a laugh escaped in front of his boss.

"Having fun?" Kurono asked when Kai manage to take a few more steps.

"Shut it. Not even a single word." Chrono lifted his hands up in defence and waved at Kaito when the kid happily greated him.

"Kaito let go." His tone of voice turned into a stern one which made the kid instantly to let go and pout sadly as he followed his dad.

Godammit he learned your pout....

He sighed as he stopped on his tracks and turned around with his hand still pinching between his eyebrows before looking down at his son questionably.

"Did something happened? For this sudden urge to be glued with me?"

The kid looked up at him with shining (E/C) eyes as he talked.

"Mommy not here."

He sighed, you were out with Mimic and Nemoto, going into the grocery store and maybe his son just felt lonely... he also felt a bitter feeling when you weren't around but he couldn't exactly compare him with the infant.

Since his own supposed mother wasn't just as loving or even caring as you...

He sighed out loud again, he surely was going to regret this... he looked for a brief momen at his little defiant snd found what was the last straw for him to scoff.

Those fucking puppy eyes. It was even worse because his kid was SAD.

"Alright brat, you won." He groaned as he got into the ground and picked Kaito up in his arms and huggeg him close awkwardly while he continue to walk.

Kaito gleamed in happiness in his father's arms and started to even nuzzle his face on the crook of his daddy's neck.

Kai merely scoffed and continue to walking, still rigid as a stone for the sudden display of so much affection coming from his son.

It sounded like you were going to be a bit late due to the busy streets apparently so it was his duty to take care of his son now...

The problem is that he left Kaito with Chrono for ONE minute and he found his son consumed by sugar high, running through the halls of his house giggling maniacally.

"What the fuck did you give him?" Chisaki growled at Kurono who even seemed apologetic for Kai to have to endure such a little energetic demon.

"I swear it was meant only to be a piece of chocolate that he saw up on the shelf. He grabbed the intere bar when I got distracted."

"With what did you get distract since there's literally nothing in here?"

"My thoughts?" Chisaki had to hold himself back to not kill Hari right there in that instant.

Inatead of committing another murder, Chisaki got in the way of Kaito's constantly path of were he was running and with a quick movement caged the kid in his arms. The toodler squirmed and laughed trying to get out of Kai's arms in vain.

"Be quiet. Is already over the play." Chisaki mumbled while he tighten his hold on his son and scooping him up. Getting shocked that the brat had actually calmed down and even relaxed in his hold.

"Done already?" The kid giggled while nooding after hugging his neck tightly.

He scrunched uo his face as he tried to remain his breath normal since his son subsconciously was almost suffocating him.

"(Y/N) would like to see this." Said Chrono meesing around in his pocket before Chisaki sended him a death glare.

"Dare to put that phone out this pocket and your intere hand will be used to feed a crocodile." Chrono lift his hand up in surrender before he suffered the consequences.

The rest of the day Kaito simply refused to let go of his father's arms, almost throwing a tantrum when he noticed that Chisaki was going to put him down once.

"Kaito. I have to work." Said sternly but the kid ignore it as he played with his father's white tie.

"Fatherhood is difficult right boy?" Asked Pops as he read it a book, not even cating about the dirt look Chisaki sended him.

"Mind holding him for a while?"

"Kaito do you want to come with me instead of your dad?" The kid mumbled a 'sorry grandpop' as he snuggled in Chisaki's neck.

"Is the kid wishes my son." Pops said smugly while Kai only deadpanned.

"You can't be possible seri- ah great. He fell asleep and he is drooling... fantastic."

Pops chuckled lowly as Chisaki went to leave Kaito on his bed. The problem os that even in deep sleep, the toddler had a death grip on him.

"Please tell me you're joking." He tried to untangked his kids arms but all in vain.

"Strong little rascal..." he gave up and just accepted his fate of sore arms as he went to the living room to be at least sitting and not carrying his son all day in his arms...

You finally arrived home and before you could even take your shoes off Pops went to you and demanded for you to be very silent while following him.

You both arrived on the living room and saw Kaito fast asleep on his Kai's chest as the man breathed peacefully enjoying his own sleep as well.

You immediately picked your phome and took a photo while Pops chuckled quietly.

"Thank you my dear daughter in law." He said dare you say in a soft tone.

"Huh?"

"I own you my gratitude." He looked at you as he pointed with his palm at your sleeping husband and son "I was always apprehensive about Kai's behaviour and with you on his life he eased up a little... but you didn't turn him into a dumb foul either. Now I know he won't be commiting atrocities like I thought he would... not in ahuge scale anyway."

"Pardon?" The elder laughed and waved you off before bowing politely at you, you imitating his gesture.

"Thanks for the brat (Y/N)." He said before leaving.

You looked at your family on the couch and got even a bit jealous.

Well, you were authorized by law that you could join your husband and son in the middle of a subconsciously cuddling session.

And like hell would you waste a opportunity like that.

#overhaul x reader #overhaul scenario #fanfic overhaul #chisaki kai imagine scenario #chisaki kai x reader #bnha imagine #bnha characters #bnha villains #bnha x reader #bnha #bnha villains x reader #overhaul #chisaki kai #my writing #zuffer writings #kaito baby boi #kaito

[crimsonbluemoon]

kriity 10 for the kiss prompt thing?

I literally make John so Meta in all of my stories. I have no regrets. 

Number: 10 Prompt: desperate kisses following an accident or dangerous situationPairing: Krii7y

The roadtrip had been going well, in John’s opinion. Basically, it was moving the way he had expected it to from his research on Tumblr and AO3. Smiity had sprung the trip on him after a bad break-up (classic trope), and both had danced around their feelings while travelling the back roads of Canada. There were people who thought they were dating (which in their defense, Smiity had held his hand at the restaurant). Then there was the bar where John did not get jealous of the bartender flirting with Smiity. And of course, the mix up on bedrooms where the two had to share a bed for a night. ‘Boners and Blushes’ could have been their story title, if John was into alliteration.

The sexual tension was nice, though a little lackluster in comparison to the stories. Where was the need to strip naked for warmth? Wasn’t Smiity clumsy enough to need John to patch up a wound on his thigh and ravish him afterwards? Why did all of their bathroom doors have locks so they didn’t walk in on each other showering? And how come none of their adventures ended with a surprise rainstorm that made their clothes cling to their bodies? That shit was always in roadtrip fanfiction, and John felt cheated for not getting to see Smiity in a transparent shirt. 

But there road trip had some interesting twists, too.

Like a monster ramming the side of their car into a tree. That was new.  

“Oh my god.” The faint wheeze of fear that sifted in Smiity’s voice made him sound like he was about to faint. Blinking a few times to try and focus his gaze, John stared at the snowy hill the front of the car was now parked into. 

“Was that a moose?”

“We almost died.”

“That thing was way bigger than I thought mooses could get.”

“We literally almost just died, and I never said-” The words sounded familiar, for some reason, but John’s brain was too busy still rolling in his skull to pick up on them. 

“Is it mooses? Moosi? Meese? Smiity, help me out dude, what do you Canucks call-” He turned to face his friend, voice stopping at the first sight of tears. Some had already fallen, rolling down his cheeks and soaking the edges of his jacket. But fresh ones were being produced, and John’s heart sunk in his stomach at the sight. “Shit. Hey, uh, are you hurt? Do I need to go fight that fucker for your honor?” 

“You can’t fight a moose, you idiot.” Smiity’s sob and laugh mixed together in a strange way, but it was better than the pale look of death that had coated his eyes seconds before.

“I will for you. I’d do anything for you, probably. Since I love you and all.” He shrugged after his claim, trying not to draw attention to his bold declaration. Hell, it worked in the stories, and they literally almost got moosed (he wasn’t sure if this was a word, but again, his brain was on dry cycle) to death. Near death experiences always made love confessions work. “So yeah, I’ll fight a pack of Meeses if you want.”

“It’s moose, fuck. I love you too, John, why do I-” Except Smiity couldn’t talk anymore, because he’d yanked John over the middle console and dragged them both into a kiss. Startled, John’s hand clasped over Smiity’s neck, feeling the erratic pulse beat under his palm. He was still spooked, running on adrenaline, and John knew the kiss was something to help ground him. Maybe it was to remind him that they were alive, together, and John was more than okay with sharing this moment with Smiity. So he kissed back quickly, letting their lungs squeeze painfully from lack of air. Oxygen wasn’t important for the moment; they needed to know the other was alive. Smiity’s hands were fisted tightly in John’s hair, yanking him closer each time something creaked in the car. He tried to sooth Smiity’s worries with a thumb down his pulse, letting Smiity take whatever he needed from his lips and tongue. They’d need to call for help, start thinking of hotels in walking distance and how they were going to pay for Smiity’s car being totaled. None of the things they talked about in fanfictions. 

And the kiss they shared? Way better.  

#Anonymous #Krii7y #Kryoz Gaming #Smii7y #Meme boys #<3 #Crimson drabblez

[danetobelieve]

Mooseterious Circumstances || Blanche and Winston

Winston wasn’t sure why they were attending their 13th moose tour of Mooseventure tours. They had a great aunt who had once taken them here and the first tour had been genuinely interesting. But now as the blonde girl wearing a set of felt antlers that looked almost sadder then she did droned on in the same monotone that Winston had previously heard from an ecstatic and excited Pam. Winston couldn’t help that whoever she were, she could put more effort in. Turning and pressing their forehead out of the window, they gazed through their glasses and into the forest. They’d once seen two moose having sex in that exact spot they thought. The girl at the front of the bus said something bored and Winston sighed, feeling just as bored as they were. They would have to make a point of explaining to Aunt Ingrid that moosetours were only fun the first ten times you do them. Though Aunt Ingrid wouldn’t believe them. “Has the script changed in the last thirteen years?” Winston finally asked somewhat sarcastically, too bored to stay silent any longer, “Or do they make you say the same things they used to make Pam say?” 

“A fun fact about eastern moose like the ones we’re seeing tonight - “ Blanche was going to projectile herself off this bus and pray one of the moose ate her. She hated Monday night tours most of all, they were never full and now she was just desperately trying not to make awkward eye contact with Winston while she droned on and on about Moose. Luckily, the stupid Bullwinkle J. Moose records died down a bit so she could stop pretending to make jokes that always fell flat without the enthusiasm of someone who gave a shit about moose. “- lack upper front teeth, but has eight sharp incisors on its lower jaw.” She paused, finally, taking a break. The moose weren’t even out tonight. It was a bad day to watch for moose. Maybe they decided to actually go get some frigge sleep this time - but Blanche wasn’t able to pick her speech back up because Winston interrupted her. “Uh -” she glanced behind her to Stan, who seemed more concerned with driving the bus. She looked back to Winston, her face flushing slightly. Blanche knew she was a bad tour guide, but that didn’t stop Stan for making her do it. “Well, you gotta stick to the script,” she said, rubbing the back of her neck, awkwardly. “Or the moose will get mad. Or something. They don’t like change.”

Wow. That really had been a fun fact. Winston rolled their eyes and yawned before Blanche turned to face them. Glancing out the window they were almost certain that they could see a bush walking along, but they ignored it and turned back to Blanche to address her. “The moose can’t hear you and even if they could hear you then what do you think they would do? I guess it is a moosetery...” wait what the fuck. Winston’s head snapped back to the window where sure enough, a bush with antlers had just walked out of sight. “DID YOU SEE THAT?” They exclaimed! This was suddenly shaping up to be the most exciting tour that they had ever had the pleasure of going on. “There is a bush with antlers and legs that is walking along.” They were suddenly very glad that the only other people on this tour were two very old and very deaf, at least by their apparent inability to speak at less then 300 decibels about the different varieties of hard candy that they enjoyed. “Literally right there!”

Moosetery. Blanche snorted, scowling as she turned to shoot them an I heard that look, but jumped slightly when they hollered asking if she saw something. “What?” No, she hadn’t seen anything and she honestly tried not too. Moose were actually kind of terrifying. They were, like, huge. Blanche glanced to the other two patrons on the bus. They didn’t seem to be complaining that Blanche had shut up for a minute. Blanche hopped off her seat, pulling out her moose-flashlight (the one that was just a heavy duty flashlight that someone stuck stickers of Bullwinkle on), and squinted into the darkness. “A bush? With antlers? It was probably just a moose. In a bush. Trying to grab something to munch on that doesn’t have snow on it or something.” Blanche muttered, frowning. She’d seen some pretty wicked stuff on these things, especially on quieter nights. Now she really wished Granny hadn’t fucked off to find some late night White Crest gossip. Blanche chewed on her lip, glancing at Winston. “It’s fine. Probably. Besides, I don’t have any fun facts about bush antler things.” 

Just as she said that, Stan swore from the front of the bus. “Uh-oh,” Blanche muttered, and moved towards the front. “Stan, what’s uh-” there was a spluttering from the engine, and she grimaced. She knew that sound. They needed a new bus, they had for like 6 months but Stan kept insisting the engine was fine. It was not fine! They slowed to a stop, and Blanche ran a hand down her face, exasperated. “I guess we’re stuck looking at Moose here for - what the hell was that?” 

This time, Blanche did see it. The corner of her light caught it, and her eyes narrowed seeing just a glimpse of the bush antler thing disappear. She pressed her lips together. “Alright everyone, we’re just having a little bit of a pause,” she said, more to the deaf old couple than to Winston. “Um. Ignore anything bush related. Or antler related. Unless it’s a moose. Then look at the moose. I’m going to uh… What the hell was that thing.” She didn’t know, but she wanted too. 

“Your names Blanche right?” Winston replied as they read their name tag. “Bush antler things aren’t real, but that bush definitely stood up, walked a few feet and then sat back down out of sight, which is not something that moose...esss.” What was the plural of Moose? Meese? They weren’t geese. As the bus sputtered to a halt (not that it had been going fast anyway) Winston rolled their eyes. It wouldn’t take that long to walk back to town but maybe this was where they would actually step out of their comfort zone and go and investigate. Taking a deep breath they watched Blanche step off the bus and looked at the pensioners behind them. There was no way that they were staying in a stinky old tour bus with a bunch of boomers that probably didn’t even realise what a moose was. Ignorance was rife amongst the older generation and Winston was convinced that they wouldn’t make the same mistakes. “Wait, I’m coming to see this thing too! I saw it first!” They scrambled off the bus after Blanche, curious as to what the hell that was. They were sure it must have a rational explanation. After all, everything did. 

“That’s a bad idea - you should stay on the - oh, well, I guess you’re already off the bus.” Blanche said, looking at them, rubbing the back of her neck. She was technically the employee here, if anyone should be investigating it should be her. Or maybe it should be Stan, but he was probably content with calling a tow company right about now. I have triple A it’ll be fine. Blanche mentally rolled her eyes, and shook her head, instead waving Winston to follow her. “My name is Blanche,” she said, referring to their earlier question. “What’s your name again?” She should know that. Their name would have been on the list, but she hadn’t really been paying attention. Not waiting for them to answer, she continued, only pausing slightly before going off the path. This is how horror movies start, Blanche. The voice in the back of her head was warning her. The white blonde girl always bites it first. She frowned slightly, wishing Granny were here so she could go ahead and take a look.She pointed her flashlight ahead, curiously looking around as they went in the direction the bush antler thing did. Maybe some shrubbery or something had fallen onto a moose or a big deer or something.  “Ever had a moose tour up this up close and personal? If you want, I can tell you more fun facts,” she said sarcastically. 

Shrugging nonchalantly, Winston felt their shoes crunch through a branch as they stepped off at the side of the road. “Too late to go back now I guess,” they replied. The acrid smell of broken bus filled the air and Winston wrinkled their nose in displeasure. Winston wasn’t sure why they were feeling so adventurous, but literally anything was better then staying on that bus with three people who were inching closer to death at every moment. At least Blanche had something to say. “I’m Winston,” they replied with a shrug, “like Churchill, except not at all like them.” They pulled their coat closer around their body, they wished they’d dressed for an outdoor hike and not for a day on a infamously hot bus. It was worse in the summer. That’s why Winston had asked for it now. But even still, there was no need for it to be 100 degrees in there. Somehow one of the ladies had still complained that she was too hot. Winston slipped their hands into their pocket. “That sounds just delightful, is it true that the skin that dangles underneath a moose’s chin is called a bell?” they replied equally sarcastically. “I think it was over here,” Winston said stepping forward and pulling out their phone, flicking on the flashlight they peered into the darkness, searching for something, though they weren’t sure what. 

Blanche was probably the only person in the world that didn’t mind the sweltering sauna of the bus, but that was only because of her aversion to being cold. Maybe it had something to do with the bone chilling feeling that went through her everytime she passed through a spirit (and was thus recreated every time she thought about it) or maybe she just liked being toasty, but the bus wasn’t that bad. Her job already sucked enough, so maybe she would have quit by now if she couldn’t at least sit in comfort. She snorted quietly when they mentioned the dewlap under a moose’s chin. “Sure, when you see one reach out and shake it. See what happens,” she said, glancing at Winston, with a low grin. What would happen, should anyone ever be that close to a moose, was probably death. She pointed her flashlight over to where Winston has their phone flashlight, squinting slightly. “I don’t think -” Blanche didn’t get to finish saying what she didn’t think was a good idea, because something moved. And that something was big. “Uh - “ Blanche stuck her arm out, stopping in her tracks. Fuck, was it her fault if they died out here? Could Stan, like, get sued for that? However, some sort of morbid curiosity sort of propelled her forward a few more inches, raising her flashlight to see through the brush. Light from its eyes reflected back and Blanche froze again. “I found it - “ She wasn’t happy that she found it. It wasn’t a moose with a shrubbery cloak. It was, truly, a plant antler thing and it was looking right at them. Blanche backed up, and swatted Winston’s arm. “Time to go.”

“Hopefully I never get close enough to a moose to be able to do that, but even if I was, I wouldn’t. I don’t have an early death wish. Though that tour drove me to that at points, no offense, I know you just read the script right?” Winston wasn’t sure if this was necessarily the best avenue of approach, they weren’t trying to upset Blanche. They just assumed that this was a dumb job. Picking through the forest, Winston wasn’t looking exactly looking very hard. At this point they were almost certain that it had been a trick of the light or something akin to that. But then Blanche was swatting at their arm and backing towards them. Winston turned around, somewhat absent mindedly and almost dropped their phone, it slid from the grasp and they had to do an awkward juggle as they looked the plant moose thing dead in what looked to be very dead eyes. What the hell was going on with this town? One day they’re a quirky cosplay infested hotspot and the next there were rabid creatures lurking around every corner. “I agree,” they said, taking a step away from the moose and pushing Blanche forward. Flicking their flash light off they tried to move as quietly as possible, hoping and praying that they weren’t followed.

Blanche snorted. If they thought they had a death wish listening to the trash script she had to read every night, then they should listen to her inner monologue during the entire tour. She frequently wished for the sweet release of death. This was definitely not an ideal job - she missed when she was just the receptionist and gift shop attendant. At least that was easy and she could impress old people with her mental math when giving out change. But none of that was important because what in the Holy Fires of Hell was that shit. White Crest had always been a shit show. She was born and raised here, and she knew it was just weird. But, minus her being able to literally see dead people, she sort of always chalked it up to her brain being broken - not that she would ever tell Granny that. Anyway, White Crest wasn’t supposed to be a demon town it was just supposed like a Stephen King Weird Shit thing like all other Maine small towns. But, also, maybe hyper focusing on whatever was going on in her head was better than focusing on the giant plant monster moose that was behind them. Blanche had followed Winston’s approach, flicking her flashlight off as she was ushered forward as she desperately tried to keep quiet. Everyone in the surrounding area could probably hear the pounding of her heart though because she had officially crossed paths from being ‘curious’ to ‘anxious’. There was a rustling behind them that made her freeze in place for a half second, and reach back to grab their arm. She didn’t want to know  “I don’t mean to over react or anything -” She said, glancing over her shoulder. She saw the eyes of the giant plant moose monster thing. That meant it was sneakily trying to follow them. Nope nope hell nope! “But we’re running.” She tugged on their arm. “Let’s go.” Time to run, her least favorite gym class activity. 

Swallowing, Winston felt a bead of sweat form at the base of their hairline and run down the middle of their face, from the middle of their forehead and down their nose where it rested. It was beyond infuriating. Wiping it away, Winston was about to say something smart when they spotted the eyes and suddenly Blanche was dragging them headlong through the forest. Running had never really been Winston’s forte either. Being the asthmatic kid with glasses had left them jaded about physical activity of almost any variety. Except swimming. They liked swimming. “I don’t think this is an over reaction at all,” Winston replied honestly as they ducked underneath a branch before hurtling further into the night. They weren’t sure where they were going, but they were beginning to think that this wasn’t the way that they had come. Glancing behind them, Winston spotted the bush moose notice that they weren’t there anymore and decide that it was going to give chase in earnest. It was terrifyingly quick. “FUCK, fuck fuck,” Winston exclaimed, their voice full of fear, “RUN RUN RUN.” It was just behind them and Winston had no idea where they were headed. All they knew was that they had to get out of here, and straight away.

Bad, bad, bad. This was very, very bad. Helpfully, this was the only thought running through Blanche’s mind as they flew threw the forest. Her grip on their arm hadn’t loosened as they tore through the forest. They were definitely lost. Like, extra lost. But finding the bus didn’t exactly matter because Blanche was about 95% certain that a smelly bus wouldn’t protect anyone from a stupid Plant Monster. The thing was stupid fast - or maybe they were just ridiculously slow, Blanche didn’t know, but she didn’t care to find out what would happen once it caught up with them. If it caught up with them. Granny was always saying how she should be more positive, or something. Blanche took a hard left turn, finally releasing her death grip on Winston’s arm in a stupid attempt to try to confuse the thing. Winston was still swearing up a storm and she couldn’t really blame them. Run, run, run - like she had any other plan. Well, actually - as she scrambled over a log. “Do you think - we should climb?!” Climb a tree? Could the plant thing climb a tree? Could they get up a tree fast enough before it got to them? And then what did they do once they were up a tree? But maybe it would give them a second to rest and regroup. 

“Climbing a tree sounds better then running through the forest,” Winston replied, sweat gushing down the sides of their face. They could already feel their chest getting slightly tighter as they worked to keep running. Winston was doing their best to follow Blanche. But then she turned left and Winston wasn’t exactly expecting it. Doing their best to stay with her, Winston turned left after her and felt their ankle twist painfully, sending them sprawling forwards into a bush. Yelping in pain, they tried to force themselves to their feet. “Ah,” they winced at the pain of moving but wrapped their long fingers around a branch to help their journey upwards, “ow ow ow ow.” They whispered to themselves, doing their best not to draw any attention to themselves in their vulnerable state. They knew that they weren’t going to be able to just sit here and eventually walk this off. They needed to keep moving or they would get trampled to death. The turn must’ve worked partially, but Winston could tell that it wouldn’t be long before the plant moose hybrid spotted them and came after them in earnest.

The stupid moose thing must have gotten confused in the dark, but she heard Winston yelp in pain and she knew that maybe she should have shouted a warning before they turned. That was wild, this was wild - maybe she should actually focus on safety right now instead of calling everything wild. Blanche hurriedly tried to find them in the dark. The whispers of ouch were helping considerably as she hoisted herself up into the tree. Oh, going to the gym was paying off. She could climb a tree! She hadn’t climbed a tree well… ever. Because there were bugs in there and it wasn’t lady like - or so Granny said. But Granny wasn’t here. She wasn’t sure how high they needed to go to get away from the moose plant thing, but they needed safety first. Once she was certain she was high enough, she went to help Winston. It was like an airline thing - help yourself before you help anyone else. She reached out her hand towards them. “Here, come on. Before it finds us. We need to - uh - regroup. Or something.” 

Honestly, Winston needed to consider taking their fitness way more seriously. If they didn’t increase their ability to run it seemed entirely possible that they would simply die from the apparently monster infected town that was now their home. Which was really great. Winston was really enjoying the three near-death encounters that they had had. Glancing up, Winston saw that Blanche had somehow managed to hoist herself into the trees. A pretty good idea. At least they would be out of the way of the plant moose hybrid that they had managed to piss off with their mere presence. “How did you-” Winston decided not to ask about a good thing, hauling themselves up, they winced as they placed their bad foot on the base of the tree and pushed themselves up towards the bottom branch. Grabbing Blanche’s hand, they climbed slowly and painfully and hoped that they would make it on time.

“Sorry, sorry, sorry -” Blanche was hyper aware that Winston was in pain, and knew climbing was bad. “I go to the gym, sometimes, that’s why I -  well, I mean, I don’t really climb stuff very often but - ah, careful, please be careful.” Blanche had two moods, and it was either a snarky mess or a panicky mess and she had officially switched over to panicking. Any rustling was automatically the giant plant moose, even if it wasn’t. But the second she got them squared away to her height she started fumbling with her flash light, debating if she wanted to turn it on. “Do you think -” Blanche didn’t need to finish her question, before she could hear the stupid thing searching for them. The noise it made sounded like a moose, but not a moose? And Blanche had heard a lot of weird ass moose noises in her life. She held her breath a moment, closing her eyes real hard. Come on, what the fuck were they going to do? Granny would have a solution. Granny always had a solution, but it wasn’t like she call up the ghost of her dead grandmother on her phone and ask. If she was going to call anyone, it should be the fire department. Or the police. Animal control? Supernatural Things of Weird Shit Organization? Blanche ran a hand down her face, panting slightly. Ugh. She was sweaty. She hated being sweaty. “Alright,” she whispered. “Okay. We can get out of this. We can get out of this. There’s gotta be a way. How - I mean, first of all, you can’t run anymore right?” 

“No, it was a good idea,” Winston said as they finally managed to tentatively settle on the tree. Holding tightly, they did their best to keep their long legs from dangling where the creature could get them, “I just wish we had thought of it before I tripped.” Tripped was a kind word for being clumsy as shit. “Do I think that this thing is still out there?” Winston asked with a raised eyebrow, before nodding, “I can hear it I think.” They peered out into the darkness, wishing now more then ever that whatever they had managed to do with their hands could be done again. Maybe that would be enough to scare this thing away. Pulling their phone out, they glanced at it before sighing. “I don’t have any signal, do you?” They couldn’t even call for help if they wanted to. What the hell was this? A horror film? Winsont wondered who died first, the black kid or the sarcastic blonde. Either way they didn’t like their chances. “I can hobble, maybe,” Winston looked around, “if we could make a crutch or something I could go faster but otherwise �� y’know maybe we could just wait this thing out?” Winston had to admit that they were out of other ideas. The hand thing, well they weren’t even sure if light escaping their hands was something that had actually happened and even if it had, what good would it be? They patted their pockets, coming up with their phone, their wallet, a mostly empty packet of gum, keys, their inhaler (which they took a puff of for good measure) and some change. “I’ve not got anything that I could use, not that I can think of anyway.”

“Can’t get any ideas until someone rolls an ankle. It’s, like, a rule or something,” Blanche joked weakly. All things considered, she was actually pretty comfortable in the tree. That had to count for a win. She pulled her phone out of her pocket, thanking every God that she never followed Stan’s stupid rule of not having it on her. “I have no service too - fucking Maine, man,” she groaned quietly, leaning her head back against the tree as she glanced at them in the darkness. She shrugged off her drawstring Mooseventure bag, knowing she didn’t have a lot of shit in it. “I have a first aid kit,” she said, glumly. “If you want it. I have to carry one, Stan  - the bus driver - has the other in case of injuries. Other than that..” She didn’t have much else of use. A lighter for when she tried to be edgy and smoke cigarettes (they’re nasty and not worth it), a phone charger, and a balled up sweater. She stuffed her mooseventure flashlight back in the back with a sigh, straining to hear. She could still hear it, and she wasn’t too keen on the idea of waiting to become Plant-Moose Food. Blanche didn’t know what kind of stamina that thing had. What if it could outwait them? . She looked back at the contents of her bag, and grimaced. Plant. Well, plants didn’t do so hot against fire, did they? “Winston, I have a bad idea, and you’re not going to like it.” Blanche said, flatly. “But it involves a stick and my lighter.” 

“School must have been a very painful time for you,” Winston replied glibly, “are you a masochist or something?” A smirk dragging itself across their face despite the amount of pain that they were in. Winston tucked their good leg around the thick branch that they were perched on, hoping that their inherently clumsy nature wouldn’t rear it’s wildly inconvenient head in that very moment. After all, falling out of this tree would be painful and potentially result in a trampling. Something Winston had no desire to experience. “This is when you wish you didn’t live in the middle of buttfuck nowhere?” Winston asked quietly, “I never ever have signal when I need it.” They waved their arm around for a minute hoping to find some signal. Whilst Blanche unpacked the contents of their bag, Winston nodded. “I can at least add a splint to my ankle and that’ll help support it,” they took the first aid kit gratefully off of her and began tightly applying a splint. It was a sore experience, the ache grew as the pressure was applied before subsiding to the dull ache it had previously been at. Then Blanche was talking about a stick and her lighter, “Did you miss the smokey the bear experience?” Winston asked with a concern, “Didn’t you know that open fires in a forest is the perfect recipe for disaster?” Blanche was right, they didn’t like it at all. “I’m not agreeing to this, but what is your idea?” It might be the only way they avoided living in the woods forever.

Masochist. That made her laugh. “Yeah, I do math for fun, too.” Except that part was true. Blanche did do math for fun - it was relaxing. It was too bad she didn’t have any other talent because maybe then she wouldn’t hate her life for majoring in accounting at school. Winston was right, though. She also never had signal whenever she needed it. Too many times, she had been stranded because her car died or had a flat tire or whatever the hell happened and there was no fucking signal on her phone. It was definitely like a White Crest curse or something. She looked over at them, grimacing when they asked about Smokey the Bear. “Sure, but I’d rather not become a snack for some supernatural bullshit.” Though, starting a forest fire was a real concern. Blanche didn’t even want to touch that ethical dilemma, if only because right now she was equating being eaten by a plant moose vs a small fire. “You take my moose flashlight so we find the damn thing - because right now I honestly feel like we need the Jaws music playing - I rip a really long stick off this tree, set the end on fire, possibly use some of the rubbing alcohol from the first aid kit, cause that’s flammable, right? And then I jump down, and try to set the thing on fire. And then hopefully, it burns, without causing too much damage, and you can come down, and we can hobble to safety. And, like, I’ll probably drive you to the ER for your ankle?”

“HEY.” Winston replied with a level of indignance that could not have been faked, “Math is very fun and extremely cool.” Math just made sense to them, it worked, it followed rules and there were never exceptions to that rule. Once you knew and understood the rule, you understood the math. Winston had often wondered why Winston was such a technological dead zone. For someone who’s entire life was a revolving door of trying to discover the latest trend, trying to get their hands on the latest piece of technology, living in what was essentially the stereotypical example of rural Maine wasn’t exactly helpful. “Supernatural bullshit?” Winston replied skeptically, “I’m sure there is a very rational explanation for this, one time, I heard about a form of torture using bamboo where they grow it through your body. This is obviously just that except on a much quicker scale. If we were to try, we’d be able to pull away the surrounding shrubbage and foliage if we could get near to it without being gored.” They considered Blanche’s plan. First of all they had to spot the thing, in the dark, when it was literally covered in a natural camouflage. Secondly they would need to set the thing on fire, hope that they didn’t set the surrounding forest on fire and then they had to hope that they would be able to get away. “Honestly, that all sounds like the worst plan I’ve ever heard, but I haven’t got a better suggestion and we can’t wait up here forever. You’re the one taking all of the risk, so if you’re comfortable doing it then I won’t stop you. I’m not sure I could anyway. Just have it known that I think this is a terrible idea.”

The natural defensiveness that came out of Winston about math was surprising - everyone hated math, it seemed. Except for Blanche, of course, who was tutoring people even in the freshman year of High School. Well, now it was herself and Winston. Maybe one day she could show them her freaky side journal where she wrote down equations to solve for fun. But maybe not when they were stuck in a tree, formulating a really bad plan and lowkey debating whether the plant moose was supernatural. “Why is someone torturing a moose with bamboo? That sounds fake.” Or maybe she was just more apt to call something supernatural because she saw dead people. Regardless, it didn’t matter what it was, they had to do something or risk staying in the tree until dawn. Which was still a few hours away. “Your aversion to the plan is noted,” she said dryly. She grabbed her flashlight and handed it to them, before grabbing her lighter and putting her bag back on her back. It only took her a second to break a smaller branch off the tree, before she carefully climbed back down. Climbing down was harder than climbing up, and that had to be some bullshit if she ever heard it. “Alright,” her feet crunched as they hit the forest floor. She was certain she could still hear the damn thing, just watching and waiting. It was dawning on her that maybe they really should have just waited.

Math was fun. Winston was willing to fight over it. Besides, their ability to use mathematics well had helped them develop their coding ability. “They were torturing prisoners of war in Vietnam, not moose. I promise you it was not fake, I got told that I made an inappropriate presentation on the Vietnam war during my last year at middle school because of that. I can promise you that it isn’t fake.” As Blanche ignored their good advice, Winston looked at the flashlight that she was offering them and reluctantly took it off of her. If they were determined to get themselves killed then Winston guessed that they would be helping them get a timely death. They heard her snap a branch off of the tree and begin her climb. As they did their best to light the forest up for Blanche and spot the thing that was keeping them there, Winston couldn’t help but feel the nerves and apprehension in their stomach. But they stuck at it, before spotting what they thought was the moose maybe twenty meters away from Blanche. “Psst,” they cried out in a failed attempt to be subtle, “I think it is over there.” They pointed off in the distance, very vaguely.

Blanche hadn’t meant the torture thing was fake, she just meant that someone trying to torture a moose with bamboo was fake. But she could explain that to them after she was was done saving both of their asses. Hopefully. Unless she died. Then Winston was going to think she thought something from the Vietnam War was fake, and they were going to think she was an idiot. Bad time to be focusing on that though - something that was also a bad thing to focus on was how much she really, really didn’t want to die. Her palms were starting to sweat again, and she suddenly had that nervous, jittery energy in her knees that made her feel like they were going to buckle under her. Awesome. This was already going fan-freaking-tastically. She wondered if Winston was going to judge her if she puked. Probably. She glanced in the direction they pointed out, and she saw it. The eyes. It was always the eyes. Blanche blanched slightly. Oh sure, easy to be brave in the tree, but now she was fumbling with her lighter, trying to set the end of the tree ablaze. And then, she fucked up. The moose-plant had started walking towards her and she panicked. “Oh no -” Blanche started backing up, trying to get her lighter to spark, but her stupidass was fumbling with it like an idiot. The moose picked up the pace and so did she - and she fell. Blanche shrieked as she landed flat on her back, the lighter flying out of her hand in a horror movie moment. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Winston watched Blanche with growing concern. It was almost as if everyone of their fears had been entirely founded and they had been completely right. Winston hated how clever they were sometimes. But they were pretty useless right now. They could only watch on concerned as their companion pulled the end of the tree close their lighter and attempted to spark it. She seemed to be struggling. Winston could only imagine the panic and terror that she was feeling and they suddenly wished that they had been firmer and insisted that she stayed there. Someone would’ve found them. Eventually. Sooner or later. They would’ve noticed that they were missing and someone would’ve come for them. But now Blanche was going to get herself hurt. Winston watched in terror as she slipped and fell, the lighter falling from their hands. Winston squirmed in terror and felt their grip on the branch disintegrate as they slid to the side, all balance failing them. There was a moment of terror where their heart sat in their mouth before they hurtled towards the ground. “Fuuuuuuuuckkkkk.” They could see Blanche and the plant moose and the ground rushing towards them at an alarming rate. Then they halted mid air and paused for a second. Winston felt out of breath and sweat beaded on their brow. The floor was literally inches away from their face. A second later and they fell the last few inches to the floor. Landing in a heap and with a mouthful of dirt they lay there for a moment, before realising that there was a giant moose trapped in a plant trying to kill them. Darting up, they winced in pain, before realising that the moose appeared to have submerged into a sinkhole. That was very convenient, but Winston wasn’t about to question a good thing. “Come on, we need to go.” They leaned down to help Blanche up, more likely to fall then actually be of any use. They suddenly felt exhausted. The adrenaline must be wearing off.

It was like a bad horror movie, and Blanche was the dumb white bitch in the horror movie that every screamed at to stop doing stupid shit. Blanche knew there was absolutely no way of rectifying this situation and terror and fear spread through her body as she realized she was going to die. Eyes shut tight to brace for whatever impact, nothing happened. Wait, what? Nothing happened. Blanche scrambled to sit up, brows knit together as she squinted in the darkness to see a fucking sink hole that the plant moose was currently trapped in. Winston was on their feet and trying to help her up, but honestly, as Blanche hurriedly pushed herself to her feet, she wasn’t really paying attention. “Let’s go before it learns it can jump 7 - 8 feet.” Blanche couldn’t even see the damn thing anymore, but she didn’t care. She grabbed a thicker big stick and handed it to Winston. “Use this as a crutch,” Blanche said, before moving forward. Blanche was jittery, the adrenaline hadn’t worn off from her yet, but she was still trying to figure out how a little sink hole just… appeared in the woods. “That was… convenient.” But, like plant-moose-monsters, she didn’t know anything about sinkholes. Maybe her very consciousness willed it to appear. Blanche snorted at the thought. “I don’t want to hear I told you so.” 

Blanche was pressing a branch into their hand and ordering them to use it as a crutch while still quoting some moose facts at them. “Yes ma’am,” Winston replied sheepishly as they continued to feel the energy drain from their body. They hadn’t felt this exhausted since the night where that weird dog thing had attacked them outside of their home that they shared with Ricky. “If you don’t mention it to the moose, maybe the moose won’t realise that it can jump that high.” Honestly, Winston was thanking their lucky stars. The chances of a sinkhole being directly in the moose’s path were infinitesimally small. But it had saved Blanche’s life and Winston wasn’t about to question a good thing. Leaning heavily on the stick, they winced with each step as a sharp pang of pain rippled from their ankle upwards. “That was very convenient, but I’m not going to complain about a good thing. But you will be hearing an I told you so, because, I told you so, and you could’ve really gotten hurt, and then I’d have to live with that guilt for the rest of my life.” 

Blanche snorted. “I’ll refrain from saying it too loudly,” Blanche said, looking at them pointedly. Focused on breathing slowly so she wouldn’t start hyperventilating, she looked down at their ankle, frowning slightly. The stick crutch can’t have been helping, but Blanche knew that there was no way in hell she was going to be able to carry them. They were too tall and she was too short. Blanche didn’t even know where they were going, and she had a feeling stumbling through the forest wasn’t a great idea. She made a face at their I told you so and shook her head. Maybe they were right and she shouldn’t have been so impulsive, but it was too late to change anything now. Besides, she got her just desserts anyway when she really thought she was going to die. “Well, luckily, I didn’t get really hurt, and both of us are still very much alive, so your heart can rest in peace. Here, let’s… stop for a second.” They probably weren’t far enough from the sink hole, but it was too dark to see it now, so out of sight out of mind. Hopefully. She pulled her phone back out. “I have 2 bars,” she said, folding up her phone. “That’ll do -” In a couple seconds she pulled up her GPS. “Alright, we need to go this way to get back to the road - c’mon, before I lose service again.”

“If there is anyway that we can avoid attack from hybridised fauna and flora then I would really appreciate that,” Winston replied glibly, shaking their head and sighing. Leaning heavily on the walking stick, Winston couldn’t help but relate to their sorcerer PC in their old D&D campaign. Their character had been in possession of an enchanted staff. But Winston was just a normal human, living in a normal world where weird things had just decided that they were going to begin happening. Walking aimlessly through the forest, Winston prayed that they wouldn’t run into anything else that might try to kill them. They also prayed that they found a road. Reaching into their pocket, they checked their phone again and was somewhat disappointed to discover that once again there was still no signal. “Fucking Maine, why do you have bars but I don’t?” they murmured with distatste at the lack of bars displaying on the OLED screen before their eyes, “maybe I should’ve gone to school on the West coast instead.” They weren’t really being serious. They had good enough grades to go to school in a lot of places. But White Crest held a special place in their heart and they knew that they didn’t want to leave just yet. Wincing as they put their foot down, Winston nodded. “Lucky you, I’m so glad that you didn’t get hurt.” At least Blanche had located the direction they were meant to be going. Gritting their teeth, they held a hand out, “Please, lead the way oh fair lady.” The sarcasm dripped from the final three words, Winston should’ve been less spiteful but when you’re in a lot of pain and feel like you’ve not eaten a good meal in weeks … well it gets harder to maintain your composure. 

“If we run into another plant moose-animal thing, I’m giving up. I had one dose of near-death-experience and I am not anxious for another any time soon,” Blanche said. The I told you so once again, and she let out a sigh. “I splurged for the iphone 8+ a few months ago.” Some old lady had come one the stupid moose tour 4 times in a row and had absolutely overtipped her. It was a good investment, too, because it was a lot better than the iphone 5 she had been using before. Still, she saw the signal drop down to one bar and she glowered at it. Don’t you dare, she thought. She glanced at Winston, feeling the sarcasm coming off them in waves. Well, if she had a series of unfortunate events that started with a stupid mooseventure tour that lead them to scrambling through the woods, she’d probably be pretty pissed off too. “How chivalrous,” Blanche commented flatly, glancing back at them with a raised eyebrow, before continuing forward. It wasn’t much of a path, but at least it was pretty level and there weren’t a ton of fallen branches or logs that they would have to climb over. And, they were pretty close to the road too. “Once we get to the road, we’ll call a car. I was serious about the trip to the emergency room.” 

“I’m sure it’s just a moose who’s managed to get itself wrapped up in some brambles which are agitating it, or something like that. There’s no such thing as a plant moose. Not in the way that we think.” Winston had a perfectly rational explanation for everything, but especially this. “Ah well you should’ve gotten a phone that’s actually worth the extortionate amount of money that I’m sure that you inevitably paid for that thing,” they knew their tech and there was so much wrong with apple products that they didn’t know where to start. That was fact not opinion. They winced bitterly as they limped along. Right now they were tired, in a lot of pain and not exactly enjoying themselves. “I don’t know if a trip to the emergency room is really necessary,” Winston complained bitterly, “I’m honestly completely fine, you don’t need to worry about me, I’ll just walk it off.” They audibly winced as their foot made contact with the uneven surface of a root. “I’m fine, just fine...”

“Did you look at it in it’s freaky glowing eyes? Because you should have.” Blanche said, dryly. They were probably right, though, no matter what she thought she had seen in the woods. Then again, things were never as they seemed so who the fuck knew anything? Blanche glanced at them, snorting when they roasted her cell phone, and shook her head. “We’re not having the apple vs. andriod conversation in the middle of the woods - though, the extortionate price is worth it right now at this moment in time because I have service.” There was an implied and you don’t. Still, regardless of disagreements and them complaining that they were just fine and that there was no need to go to the emergency room, she looked at them doubtfully. “I dunno,” she said, a frown on her face. “You look and sound like you’re in a lot of pain. You need to get it scanned and looked at by someone who know what they’re doing.”

“Unfortunately I did look it in it’s freaky glowing eyes…” Winston swallowed, “as it was sinking into the .. well the ground. They kind of locked eyes with me.” They weren’t sure what the hell was going on. Raising an eyebrow, Winston shrugged. “My phone still has a headphone jack,” they replied with a shake of their head, “but I won’t subject you to that humiliation after the humiliation that we’ve both suffered today.” They winced as they walked a bit further. “But your service comes from your provider, not your phone.” They had to be right. It was pathological. They were just so smart that they had to always be correct. They couldn’t help it. “I probably just rolled my ankle and sprained it a little, I’m sure that it is completely fine.” They were sure of none of those things.

#p: blance #wickedswriting #para #mooseterious circumstances #chatzy para

[drake-the-incubus]

Update from You’re nice old disabled Albertan. Canada wants to give the disabled folks a meesely $600 CAD for COVID, only beginning June first, if you have a Disability Tax thing.

Which is only given to people who work as a way to not be taxed on their income.

Which you don’t get if you can’t work.

Aka me. I can’t do a normal job.

CERB for people who could work, lost their job and made over $5000 in the last 12 months, was $2000 which is considered a living wage. Per four months since this bullshit started,

I get $1685 per month and that’s supposed to support me and keep me alive.

$2000 for Canadians is the limit. Prices and things went up with COVID because of mass buying /month.

I don’t even qualify for $600. Because all government funds have to have some stipulations.

Fuck me right?

#venting #canadian politics #if y’all are wondering why im not involved in much it’s because im freaking out over financial issues i cant fix #and the government just admitted that we dont get a living wage #by federal standards #i am getting as much money im allowed #and then i have to work for $1000 more #any more than that i have to get it taken off and i can lose health benefits #oh and I dont have anyone that can help woth my needs so i cant contact my worker because it’s phone only #canada really hates people woth disabilities huh?

[catbreon-draws]

Hey guys. Sorry I’ve been so quiet here. A lot of things are happening and it’s been tough keeping up.

I’ve been posting short videos pretty regularly on tiktok and a few of my things went semi-viral, earning me an additional 50k followers over the course of only about a week. Of course, the video to go the most viral HAD to be a casual, not meant to be thorough cage cleaning video, and I got a lot of smack, some for legit stuff (like I didn’t wipe down all their hides this time so they looked a little dirty) but mostly for silly stuff that I’m doing “wrong” even though the wrongness of it is only based on myths/misinformation, such as pine being toxic or the five gallons per mouse rule often spouted in pet groups. So needless to say, having several hundred strangers commenting that I’m abusing my animals (and not much ability to respond properly because the comment limit on tiktok is like... 50 characters idk) is pretty draining. Even if it’s primarily just a bunch of 12 year olds, it still makes me sad to know people think I’m abusing my mice when they mean the world to me and I do so much for them.

Also... I’m now dealing with a mite infestation. Pro tip: do not let your animals get mites. Just don’t, lmao. It sucks so fucking bad. Mites are species-specific which means they can only survive off the blood of a particular species of animal (in this case it’s mice) but they can and WILL try to suck your blood too. Image search “mite rashes” and picture that covering about a third of your body. That’s what I’m dealing with right now, and the itch is almost impossible to ignore. I’m on ivermectin (parasite killer), anti-inflammatories, and antihistamines, and applying hydrocortisone cream and neosporin, and it’s still inflamed and hurts like hell. The mice are also getting ivermectin and their bedding has been dusted with diatomaceous earth. Hopefully the infestation will be taken care of soon.

Those two shitty things being said, my datefriend of four years has finally come to visit me in the united states (it’s expensive af to fly overseas and they had to save up a long time) and they will be living with me for two months! Which makes up for all the crap going on. We’re on day two of their visit and I can tell things are going to be great. We get along amazingly and I feel so comfortable around them already. I’m keeping them out of the rodent room until the mites are gone but once that happens I hope to indoctrinate them into my mouse cult, lmao. I will try to post some pictures and stuff and they said they would help me take silly videos with the meese, but I don’t want to promise something and then not deliver, so instead I’ll say don’t expect much from me for a while but you might get lucky! I hope you guys understand!!

#emmett says stuff

[ramrodd]

Why did Joe Biden finally fire Anthony Fauci? Was it the failed vaccines or the Wuhan leak of his lab?

COMMENTARY::

The premise of the white supremacist agenda is that America would work better if dumb-ass thugs like One-Eyed Elmer Rhodes, Roger Stone, Steve Bannon, and George Lincoln Rockwell were in charge of a transnational criminal meritocracy. You know, a Tucker Carlson block party. I am a white guy who has lived in DC since I got back from Vietnam in 1971, From that summer until 19 January 1981, DC was the most racially mellow city in America, if not the world. Everybody was hooked into Nixon’s Affirmative Action and Apollo 11 and, in 1973, the adult leadership of the Nixon White House colluded with the Democrats to implement Home Rule in DC and, good bad or indifferent, DC was just beginning to get traction with being in charge as a rainbow community with Chuck Brown’s Bustin’ Loose bringing the spirit of the Bicentennial into the neighborhoods east of Georgetown. And Georgetown. And then assholes like Tucker Carlson came to town with Ronald Reagan and his Hollywood John Birch Society and the racism meter went to 11 in a cocaine blizzard from Donald T. Regan’s Wall Street cabal, the Miami Vice culture and Ed Meese and Charles Z. Wick, and all the white male executives who benefited from McCarthyism clearing the way up the corporate ladder from liberal competition. The assholes from the Nixon Plumbers now had budgets in the Supply Side Economics agenda and dedicated to paybacks for Watergate, which was a direct result of the Plumbers as the leading edge of William F. Buckley’s campus strategy for the takeover of America by the John Birch Sockety, had fucked up Nixon’s Presidency by trying to run America the way the January 6 conspiracy believes America should be run. This question is an example of Fascist disinformation being generated to cause moral confusion in the public debate and amplifying the sedition alienation and polarization characteristic of Newt Gingrich’s GOPAC political strategy for a Trotsky insurgency leading to the violent overthrow of the host government. Like on January 6. Writing as an Eisenhower Republican, I’ve been avoiding right-wing assholes in the Republican Party since before I went to Vietnam, but, specifically, Pat Buchanan and his Plumber cabal in the Republican party. At one point, I probably could have had a White House job working for Ray Price as a researcher. He took me to the Navy Mess a couple of times to entice me to consider the job, but I was on a venture capital track and wanted to get into government on that basis. Nixon’s Affirmative Action was all about doing business with the Soviets as part of creating the global economy displayed in 2001: A Space Odyssey. I bet the ranch on Affirmative Action. The agenda of the John Birch Society since William F. Buckley’s Sharon Statement has been to prevent 2001: A Space Odyssey because it requires the transformation of the Military Industrial Complex and the stupid white Harvard MBA graduates taking over the Fortune 500 in 1980 who think like Peter Thiel didn’t want to change the whole corporate ladder basis of their ambitions. That’s who the Plumbers were and who the January 6 Republicans are in the House Freedom Caucus. Speaking as an Eisenhower Republican, Michael Steele is the only authentic Kemp Republican left standing, with the exception of Mitt Romney. In terms of my focus on venture capital, I am more like both George and Mitt Romney than Jack Kemp, but Jack Kemp is the GOP;s version of Daniel Patrick Moynihan: they share a common command of economic policy and grass roots, retail politics. Nixon’s Affirmative Action was the product of a collaboration with Daniel Patrick Moynihan and was on track to transform the Military Industrial Complex to the Aerospace-Entrepreneurial Matrix of 2001: S Spce Odyssey by 2001 with Stage 3 of Eisenhower’s mobilization for WWIII until Reagan’s Supply Side Economics stopped the process cold. America was a cunt hair away from achieving the critical mass required to make the paradigm shift form the quantity of the Military Industrial Complex to the quality of the Green New Deal, which is what the Starship Capitalism of 2001:A Space Odyssey. The Joh Birch Society wants the economy to work like it did in 1947 when a white American businessman could get a blow job in Berlin for a loaf of bread. That’s the political agenda behind the Fascist disinformation of this question.