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gillianthecat · 1 year

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Thoughts While Watching Boys Planet: in which I discuss the contestants, muse over K-pop and reality tv, and go off on many tangents

Reality TV here I come! I don’t watch it that often, but I don’t avoid it. The main things I’ve watched at any length are Dancing with the Stars, So You Think You Can Dance (but mostly only watching routines, I don’t think I’ve seen many full episodes) and the Great British Baking Show. So basically I watch dance and low stakes fun competitions. (I can’t stand any lifestyle or dating reality tv, it makes me sooo uncomfortable on behalf of everyone involved and I have to hide away.)

The most recent reality tv thing I watched was probably my favorite. After The Untamed I got into a Xiao Zhan phase and watched the singing “competition” show he was in Our Song,which was lovely and non-stressful because everyone was already a working professional singer at various stages of their career, so a) they all sounded good and knew how to put on a good show, and b) it felt like they were all going to be just fine, no matter what happened. There wasn’t the angst of contestants’ dreams dying when they get eliminated, as I suspect will be the case for Boys Planet.

I don’t know a ton about K-pop, although I’ve absorbed some stuff through tumblr and the general atmosphere. I do feel like this could be, in an oblique sort of way, a useful introduction to the K-pop industry for me. Not that I think they’re going to present an accurate picture of what it’s like, but I find that I can learn a lot through the stories that they try to show, and the things that slip through the cracks, and all the assumptions made. My impression of the industry is that it is very competitive, and an intense, heavy-workload training process that starts way too young, and that idols are under heavy pressure to look and present themselves a certain way. So actually a lot like the ballet world, and I’m a big fan of ballet, but for some reason young K-pop idols make me more worried. Perhaps because they seem so much more exposed, the K-pop audience is enormous and these kids are hoping to get famous fast, whereas even the Maria Khorevas and Isabelle Boylstons of ballet stay pretty safely unknown to most of the world. Yes, the training is unhealthy in many ways, but at least the reward for it isn’t losing your private life.

Caveat before I get into the show itself: the contestants are all really good dancers, much better than me. If I sound judgmental sometimes, well, that’s because I’ve watched a lot of top level dancers of a variety of styles, and have developed Opinions. Are the Opinions necessarily accurate or fair? No, but I still have them.

Like @petrichoraline, I get stressed out when the judges are mean, and worry about the contestants being exploited for their dreams. So many of them are still teenagers! With these kind of things, especially with the contestants so young, I actually tend to hope it’s more staged than not, because that feels more protective of these idol hopefuls; their raw selves aren’t hung out for everyone to see.

The beginning is cute with us discovering the Boys Planet world and how things work with these two dorky contestants who only feel worthy of one sticker star. They feel like the plucky wide-eyed farm boys setting off on an adventure in a fantasy novel. I wonder if they’re hear just for this role—with NINETY-EIGHT! (sorry I still can’t get over it) contestants, and I think half of them being eliminated right away (?) there must be some of them who are just here bascially as seat fillers, or reaction shots, who knowingly don’t have a chance, right? Just to make things easier for the judges/audience voting. I just hope that those contestants know that that’s their role and aren’t getting their dreams crushed by surprise.

I’m not a big fan of this editing choice of all these double takes. It’s distracting and I keep feeling like it wastes time when there are NINETY-EIGHT contestants to go through. I’m generally not a fan of the quick cuts and constant switches to reaction shots—I want to see them perform—but I realize that’s just a part of how reality tv is done. And it’s true that some of the reactions are great.

With NINETY-EIGHT idol hopefuls, there is no way to keep track of everyone and I am already lost. It doesn't help that so many of them, especially in the K Group, are dressed so similarly. I am glad for my sake that they’re at least organized into groups by… agency? training school? I’m not exactly sure what their relationships to these corporations are, although I have heard of many of them. I’m also glad for the contestants' sakes they’re in groups, that seems a lot less terrifying than doing a solo. Also, frankly, group performances are usually better, a solo performer needs a lot of charisma to hold the stage alone.

I feel (sort of) qualified to evaluate their dancing, but not at all their singing. I am giving their voices a lot of leeway. I know in music videos the voices are recorded separately from the dancing, get a lot of processing before being released, and I suspect it’s true to some degree or another (from instantaneous digital enhancement to full on lip-syncing to a prerecorded track) of all the live professional performances. Here it sounds like they’re not getting any of that, we’re just hearing their unmodified singing, and while they’re vigorously dancing, which is really hard! So I know it’s not going to sound “professional,” but I don’t know enough about singing to be able to evaluate their raw voices.

I’ve paused halfway through to type this up, and I’m trying to remember who I’ve seen already. I’ve mostly lost track of our original duo; it seems the show has dropped them as guides.

There is the Last Contestant, Lee Hoe-taek, already a K-pop idol, just back from military service. Being largely ignorant about Kpop bands, I’m not sure if he was a Big Deal or in a small band most people don’t know, but either way his big dramatic reveal at the end was entertaining. All the contestants sure seemed to recognize him and be shocked that he was there.

I always suspect with these things that the company knows going into it pretty much who they want to hire. I mention that now, because I’m guessing Lee Hoe-taek is here to either to anchor the group that forms at the end, and so is definitely getting in, or is just here to provide veteran (no pun intended) presence in the competition, and is definitely not getting in, because they want a group full of young unknowns.

On the other hand there is audience voting, so… are they manipulating it somehow? Or are they actually going to abide by audience choice? (It’s possible there are rules I could look up. But I’m just gonna speculate instead.) I suppose if they don’t care so much about the group produced but just the competition to get there that would make sense. I am very intrigued about what this show is trying to do, especially given the Korea vs. the rest of the world framing, which they occasionally play up. The message seems to be, “We in Korea are the originators of Kpop and have training down to a science and therefore are the best at it” but also, “Isn’t it exciting how far K-pop has reached and how many people want to be a part of it like us.” They’re not hitting us over the head with it (so far), but some of the judges masters’ comments are implying that. But I also don’t feel qualified to talk about what’s going on in the international cultural politics of it all, other than to notice it’s very present.

And of course there is also that time honored method of audience vote manipulation: editing! Which they’re already using extensively (they really have no choice with NINETY-EIGHT contestants) so perhaps they’ve a short list of candidates they want for the final nine and are willing to let the votes work out the details. I honestly wouldn’t be shocked if Lee Hoe-taek selflessly pulls out at the last moment to give a younger contestant a chance, or something like that.

Where was I? Oh yes, the contestants. First up was the K Group quartet from Jellyfish, presenting themselves as extremely confident (they each took seven stars stickers!) which felt put upon to me, like someone (Jellyfish? BP producers? the boys themselves?) decided that would be their “brand.” Like their swagger didn’t feel natural, but who am I to say. Anyways, I thought they were quite good! And the fact they didn’t get 4 stars, and others did, had more to do with the story the show wants to tell, either the Jellyfish group’s redemption from being down, or some complicated politics about K Group vs. G Group, than it did with the actual talent of the contestants. But also, it’s hard for me to evaluate the dancing with all the quick cut editing, and I can’t speak on the singing at all, so the judges masters could be seeing something that I’m not. They did go quite hard, and that one master made a good point about needing some nuance, needing to let the voices be heard. It just seemed Jellyfish was being held to a higher standard than others. I’m not personally super into their style, but they’re very skilled. Park Gun-wook seems to be getting the main character treatment, with his solo and all.

Next up: Team WakeOne from G Group. From Japan, I think? I forgot the details, I have to re-watch. They start with this little warm up thing, I think they’re trying to make themselves stand out with it? I don’t really get it tbh. But in the actual performance they’re also quite good. One of the things I was worried about going into this show was that there would be a lot of embarrassing flailing around on stage, but so far everyone shown seems very competent and well trained. It really does feel like a nearly professional level group, ready to transition to being an actual idol. I guess that’s the difference with SYTYCD, which had people from so many different dance backgrounds trying on new styles; here everyone has trained for this specific job they’re going for. I don’t have other thoughts on this group specifically, the edits are too fast for me to really evaluate other than “they know what they’re doing.” Oh, right! Haruto was the ballet dancer. Thirty fouettés. In socks! I’m very impressed (even if he no longer has a ballet dancer’s form.) He is a very expressive performer though. And the first all-star!

Next: Ah yes, the four from Taipai, with the contemporary-trained extremely flexible main dancer. I don’t remember much about them other than they were also very competent. And the contemporary dancer was quite skilled (even though I don’t particular enjoy that style of meaningless trick based competition style “contemporary” choreography that he did). But it impressed everyone, so that’s what counts, and luckily for me that will probably be the only time I see it here. And it got him all-star! They do love their cross-trained classical dancers, lol.

Oh this part was kind of odd. Next up was a duo from Vietnam, another from Thailand, and four from China… and they just sort of talked around their performances? I thought they were building up to a big reveal, but it seems like they did poorly and so the editors just decided not to show them? I do appreciate on one level if they’re protecting the candidates from embarrassment. But in the tiny clips they showed they seemed reasonably competent. Perhaps the big reveal will come later. They are getting the hardworking underdog with big dreams treatment, so I can’t imagine they’ll disappear just yet.

Ah the Americans! My countrymen. I wasn’t intending to be all patriotic, but Jay is kind of adorable. As that other contestant said, he has amazing reactions to everything. I was racking my brains for who he reminded me of: it’s Zeng Shun Xi, who played Wu Xi in Ultimate Note, especially when he smiles. These two are also well trained, danced well and sounded good. They seem more singing focused; I think the choreo was simpler compared to the others, the voices more highlighted. And Jay uses his face wonderfully! I’m totally charmed. I have a variety of thoughts and feelings about non-black people doing hip hop, and their style felt especially… imitative of R&B somehow? idk, I don’t really know what I’m talking about. But the influence of black hip hop and R&B on Korean music and dance is another large (and fascinating) conversation I don’t know enough to say much useful about. I guess the fact that he’s from the US makes it stand out to me more here.

And Jay gets another all-star! Poor other American, in Jay’s shadow. I do wonder how everyone feels about getting separated from their original group, as some get eliminated, as I imagine is going to happen. Have they worked together long, or were they thrown together just for this? I’m not “shipping” any of these people, but I can also see how these situations are rife with drama for good stories. I understand why Cheewin set part of War of Y in an idol competition show—so much potential here!

Halfway through! I’m impressed if you’re still reading my ramblings; I’m not really sure why I have so many thoughts about this show that I want to share, but I do.

Eavesdropping on the “private” conversations as the contestants are on break. I’m just assuming (hoping) that they know they’re being recorded. The chatter is about what you’d expect, admiration about how talented and good-looking every is, worry about how they’re doing. It’s a bit boring, but I hope the show continues to mostly avoid interpersonal drama.

The annoying thing about competition shows is that the contestants are forced to come up with these inane and vaguely xenophobic statements like “Group G can’t beat Group K. Why? Because are roots are different.” Just to build up the “rivalry.”

Ok! Now we’ve got the two groups from YueHua! And Gasp! They end up doing the same piece. If they were from different companies I would acknowledge the possibility of coincidence. But I can’t image YueHua wouldn’t know, so it has to be intentional. All the better to make comparisons! Group G YueHua is full of charming bluster, and both seem at the top level in terms of training and skills, but, sorry Global group, the Korean team wins this round. That 16 year old dancer everyone is fawning over really is very good. But I don’t think Group G Yuehua is going anywhere; they’re all too charming to be kicked off yet. (And here’s the “and ollie.” of that first post I reblogged! I’m still awaiting the “heterophobe” with bated breath.)

Oh yes, the violin! No one’s even listening, lol, there just impressed he can play! Which I am too, tbh. (I do wonder what twosetviolin from youtube would have to say about it, is he any good?) Zhang Hao gets himself an all-star with that and his high notes.

Ok, but I love 29 yo Lee Hoe-taek’s reaction when Han Yu Jin says he was born in 2007. Me too buddy, me too. (I just googled, he was actually FIFTEEN in the English way of counting age when this was filmed. He turned 16 last week. Holy shit.)

OMG. I just checked and that contestant who looks so much like the actor from Roommates of Poongduck 304 IS that actor. Kim Ji Woong. I kept thinking they looked so alike whenever the camera focused on his reaction (as it often does) and then I remembered I’d read there was a BL actor on the show.

Anyways, onward. Ricky and Zhang Hao are more nervous watching their Korean label-mates than the were performing themselves, but I can’t tell if it’s because they want them to do well or are worried they’ll beat them. Do the two teams train together at YueHua? For some reason I get the feeling they’re being supportive, but maybe its just because I like that idea better.

Omg it’s so annoying when they interrupt and restart and restart and restart the choreography to build dRAmA. Once again I say, I am not a fan of reality tv style editing. But Yu Jin really is a captivating dancer, and this choreo serves him well. I think maybe the group isn’t as good vocally as the Chinese team? but are collectively better dancers.

These little tidbits from the Chinese YueHua team about seeing the Korean YueHua team rehearse are fascinating to me. That’s what I like most about dance reality shows, these little glimpses behind the curtain. The Korean team had such stage presence, I could see it only coming alive before an audience, and hard to access in the rehearsal studio.

Now seems as good a place as any to share one of my theories about why most K-pop idol dancers I’ve seen (which I admit is still not that many), despite being incredibly skilled and talented, do not quite cross over to the WOW level for me of really inhabiting the movement. Part of it of course is that they are singers and celebrities as well, and the nature of that is that most of them end up being really good at two two things instead of absolutely amazing at one. But also I think a lot of them have mirror head. I don’t know if it's a real term or I just made it up, but it’s a real thing—when you train you spend so much time watching yourself in the mirror, perfecting every move, but you forget to learn to move your head naturally, so the dance doesn’t seem full-bodied in the same way. My hypothesis is that Yu Jin’s training has been so rushed (1 year!) that he’s largely relying on his natural talent and movement quality, and hasn’t accidentally frozen his head. Obviously there are many other little details that turn a performer from extraordinarily competent at dance to dancer, and of course the whole idea could be bullshit.

Four all-stars for them! It would have been sad if the last guy got left out, lol. First time I watched I wasn’t sure what I thought about Kim Gyu Vin asking to also do a solo dance, but this time I thought it was cute.

Tangent from all my tangents—I find it hilarious how they’re blurring out their signs. I know it’s to avoid spoilers about how many stars everyone has (since I assume they’ve edited this into a different order than how they actually performed) but because the stars are right over everyone’s crotch while seated, well…

Next up a solo act! This is adorable how he messes up his little intro line. I like how supportive Lee Hoe-taek seems. I’m finding myself grow fond of this guy for absolutely no reason. I just like his reactions. Perhaps it’s the “old folks” solidarity? (I’m a decade older than him, lol.)

I can’t tell what I’m supposed to think of blue satin shirt’s performance here. To me it’s the most high-school-talent-show level of singing and dancing they’ve showed yet, but also performing solo is a lot harder and more exposing. So I don’t want to judge too harshly.

This has got to have been staged… there is no way two contestants that just happened to be the only solo acts just happened to do the exact same piece and oh look! they’re also the only two wearing black slacks with slutty satin button downs in complementary colors! Spontaneous idea! Why don’t they dance together? It’s a cute bit though, so I don’t mind.

Oh yes! The master going to help red satin shirt fix his earpiece was also adorable. (These guys seem to be the comic relief of the episode. Hopefully for their sakes it’s on purpose.) I enjoyed his performance more, although it felt equally amateurish, I think because he seemed more relaxed and having fun. I liked the way he smiled through it, even if the judge master thought it was odd. “Something feels very loose about it. But I don’t want him to fix it and do it properly.” Same sis, same. Somehow it works, lol. I also love that he takes off his shoes and socks.

OK! I’m back to where I was when I paused to “jot down a few notes.” 😂 Several hours later:

The master is right, it does look better as a duet (this whole thing was definitely planned). They’re still no superstars, but at least they look respectable.

Oh dear. I was just thinking oh he’s kinda hot when the master said, “oh he’s handsome.” But he is!

Did these two really do the choreography for most of k-pop, or did the producers somehow set it up so all the groups keep doing their choreo? Since supposedly the contestants didn’t know these would be the judges until they walked into the room. This is where my industry ignorance makes it hard to evaluate things. Either way it adds a nice frisson of tension to the proceedings.

Oh dear. They’re bad. I do appreciate the editing and reaction shots making it clear it’s not just me who thinks that. But I do feel for any contestants who come on and get the you suck edit.

Another solo! I feel pacing-wise he needs to be good after comedy bad and just plain bad. Crossing my fingers. The soloist is right, both masters are very handsome 😄 This little bit is cuter than it has any right to be. Oh, I guess bad contestants are not over, instead we’re going all in on the bad singers 😬 I had such hopes for this dude after his dramatic start, but that was painful to hear. All of these singers are. It's not quite as kind about bad performances as I thought earlier, but at least we're only getting short clips.

At moments like these I wonder, were these bad singers deliberately chosen to pad out the NINETY-EIGHT and make it easy to cut? And give an excuse for this speech on the importance of singing the lyrics? As a non-singer I do find it interesting how performers balance the singing and dancing. But I feel bad for all these kids who came on with hope. Did they think their singing would be good enough? Or that their dancing was all that mattered (I can’t tell if they were good dancers because the clips were so short.) Or were they in on the trick of it all? I hope for the last one, but I suspect Mnet is not that kind.

Yeah it’s a long day, there are NINETY-EIGHT trainees here. (Seriously. I want to understand the point of that decision. Are they charging contestants for participating? Do they think it increases the drama for the television audience? We’ve barely seen a quarter of them so far and it already feels like a lot.)

Matthew, that was a bold claim, that you speak French! You had to have guessed they’d ask you to speak it. Good thing none of the judges seems to understand. (Not that he’s terrible, just trying to speak yet a third language that you’re not fluent in while under pressure. Difficult.) Anyways, I can’t decide now if he’s going to be good so they can keep him around (along with Jay) for the North American crowd, or if this is a sign of imminent disaster. They’ve certainly managed to endear him to me, I find myself hoping he’s amazing. Aw and this background story about his friendship with Sung Han Bin is adorable. He has to stay at least one more episode after this editorial treatment. Yay! He’s good :-) Not like mindblowing, but good enough to seem like he belongs there. Hmm. This is the first time we’ve seen the judges give normal actually useful feedback. I wonder why that is? The editors certainly seem to be promoting Matthew as "the one who will grow."

Sung Han Bin. I’m pretty sure it was him I saw on a video here who was dancing like amazingly well, so I’m looking forward to this. His very stiff nervous posture isn’t a good sign, but they are saying he used to be a dancer so I have hope. Oh yay! We get to see one of the choreographer judges dance! Oh boo it’s mostly just reaction shots. But she is good. And so is he, in the little bit the actually let us watch. Yay!

Oh interesting. They get to check boxes on what they think they’re good at and what they want work on. Did all those poor kids come thinking that they didn’t need to be good at singing yet? Also, they keep saying, “he’s singing this live, right?” Does that mean that some of them actually weren’t?

He seems good, but they won’t let me watch him long enough to actually seeee anything 😾. Honestly, he doesn’t seem quite at the level as I was expecting for having worked as a backup dancer for two years, but singing at the same time and being a solo act is a whole different ballgame. And his voice seems pretty good, considering that’s not his specialty. I wonder, are he and my arbitrarily beloved old guy Lee Hoe-taek the only ones who have worked professionally as performers before, or are there many of them? Oh wait, our BL actor friend with the kissable lips, Kim Ji Woong, was also a working idol at one point. Now I’m finding myself curious/nervous to see how he does. I bet out of the NINETY-EIGHT contestants, at least a few of them have experience.

Ok, a trio from Tokyo! And they too are doing a song by someone in the audience, although this time it’s a fellow contestant. The producers have to be arranging this for the drama. There are a lot of possible K-pop songs, right? I don’t know, I’m new here. Ahh. they made it a mandatory practice song. Maybe they just hoped someone would get the hint and pick it on their own.

Aww, why do I love Lee Hoe-taek so much? His reaction is adorable. He’s sitting all alone there in his center throne. I hope the show is kind to him and he’s able to use it purposefully rather than be used by it.

I’m not a big fan of this trio’s voices, but it’s a fun song, and it’s fun having something that the whole audience knows well. Aww, my beloved is crying over the whole upcoming generation dancing along to his song. I don’t know what conversations are had about mandatory military service in S. Korea in general, or specifically about the experiences of Kpop idols going in and then returning the world nearly two years later, but I could imagine that being intense for them in so many ways. Ok, that’s it, I’ve found my guy. I’m not necessarily rooting for him to win, because I suspect he has career path options that fit him better than a debut group with teenagers, but he’s still my guy.

And now we transition into his moment. My boy is going to make me cry. And I never even heard of him before this morning. But he gets to come baaaack! To the staaage! And he has to do it all alone. “How is a trainee?”—that’s right Ollie, you tell them, don’t let them diminish my boy. Aww, and he’s encouraging everyone in his pre-performance speech! But someone is asking The Question—why is he here as a contestant instead of a master?

Arg, this teasing editing is so frustrating. But it looks like yes, he is a PERFORMER. Such presence in those brief clips. I love it when unassuming-looking people turn themselves on on stage. Oh god, they’re building the drama as much as they can. Obviously he did well though, they’re all crying! And it seems like the official answer to The Question is that he just wants to someone to finally tell him he’s good at what he does. Aww. Break my heart why don’t you. Like, I’m not sure how much this character of Lee Hoe-taek has in common with the real person, but the character is compelling.

And of course that’s the cliff hanger. Well now I have to watch episode two to see my beloved perform. I won’t (shouldn’t) blog about it though. (I shouldn’t, but I might be tempted.)

And that wraps up day one, with less than half of the NINETY-EIGHT contests seen. And that was with speeding through some of them. I'd already forgotten the beginning, how are they going to get through it all. I remain curious.

#this was not EVERY thought that went through my head while watching but it was most of them #my ramblings #i wrote almost 5000 words about this episode #why i don't know #sometimes my brain is weird #living with adhd #boys planet #lonely boys #honestly i think i'm just going to keep calling it that in my head #kpop #reality tv competition #reaction by gillianthecat #kind of like liveblogging

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inkskinned · 7 months

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what is with men being mad any time a woman raises her voice where did that even come from. someone posted a video of a small electrical explosion, and the top comment was of course the woman screams. the second comment is women try not to scream challenge, level impossible. i had to go back and watch the video again. there is, somewhat fainty, a little gasp emitted off-camera, more of a yelp than a scream. it is mostly lost in the crack of the explosion. afterwards, you hear her voice, shaken, say, are you okay?

i am helping one of my friends train her voice pitch lower, because she wants to be taken seriously at work. she and i do each other's nails and talk about gender roles; and how - due to our appearance - neither of us have ever been able to be "hysterical" in public. we both appear young and sweet and feminine. she is cisgender, and cannot use her natural voice in her profession because people keep saying she appears to be "vapid". we both try to figure out if our purposeful voice lowering is technically sexist. is it promoting something when you are a victim to it?

a storm almost sends a pole through a car window. in the dashcam, you can hear the woman passenger say her partner's name twice, crying out in alarm. she sounds terrified. in the comments, she is lambasted for her lack of calm. how is that even fucking helping?

in high school, i taught myself to have a lower voice. i had been recorded when i was genuinely (and righteously) upset; and i hated how my voice sounded on the phone speakers when it was played back. i was defending my mom, and my voice cracked with emotion. it meant i was no longer winning the argument: i was just shrieking about it.

girls meet each other after a long summer and let out a little joyful scream. this usually stops around 12-14, because people will not tolerate this display of affection (as it has the effect of being passingly annoying). something about the fact that little girls can't ever even be annoying. we are trained to examine each part of our lives (even joy) for anything that could make us upsetting and disgusting. they act like teenage girls are breaking into houses and shrieking you awake at 3 in the morning. speaking as a public school educator: trust me, it's not that bad, you can just roll your eyes and move on. it does not compare to the ways boys end up being annoying: slurs in graffiti, purposefully mocking your body, following you after you said no. you know, just boy things.

there's another video of a man who is not allowed to yell in the house, so he snaps his fingers when he's excited about soccer. the comments are full of angry men, talking about how their brother is unfairly caged. let him express himself and this is terrible to do to someone. eventually the couple has to address it in a second video: they are married with a newborn baby. he was trying not to wake the infant up. there is no comment on the fact women are not allowed to yell indoors. or the fact that it could have been really alarming or triggering for his wife. sometimes i wonder if straight men even like women, if they even enjoy being in relationships with them.

for the longest time, i hated roller coasters because it always felt inappropriate and uncomfortable for me to scream. one of my friends called me on it, said it was unusual i'm so unwilling. i had to go to my therapist about it. i don't like to scream because i was not raised in a safe situation, and raising my voice would have brought unsafe attention towards me. even when i am supposed to scream, it feels shameful, guilty. i was not treated kindly, so i lack a basic form of self-protection. this is not a natural response. it is not good that in a situation of high adrenaline - i shut up about it.

something very bad is happening, i think. in between all the beauty standards and the stuff i've already discussed - this one feels new and cruel in a way i can't quite express. yes, it's scary and silencing. but there's something about how direct it is - that so many men agree with the sentiment that women should never yell, even in an emergency - it feels different.

is the word shriek gendered automatically? how about shrill or screech? in self defense class, one of the first things they tell you is to yell, as loud and as shrilly as you can. they say it will feel rude. most women will not do this. you need to practice overcoming the social pressure and just scream.

most women do not cry out, even when it's bad. we do not report it. we walk faster. we do not make a scene. what would be the point of doing anything else? no matter what we do, we don't get taken seriously. it is a joke to them. an instagram caption punchline. we have to present ourselves as silent, beautiful, captivating - "valuable."

a woman is outside watching her kids when someone throws a firecracker at them. she screams and runs towards her children. in the comments, grown men flock together in the thousands: god. women are so annoying.

#warm up #writeblr #this one has bothered me for a bit #any time a woman does something even passingly annoying we treat it like a fucking crime #hey man. women are allowed to be annoying. everyone forever is allowed to be passingly annoying #as long as they aren't hurting anyone/thing #like u wanna know something? i find it super annoying that men don't wear seatbelts #why arent there thousands of comments on driving videos thats just like : men try not to die in a car crash challenge #''this briefly annoyed me''. okay??????? AND????????????????? go get ur self a cookie and calm down about it #ur not entitled to control other ppl's experiences and emotions just so u can maintain ur own peace #if being briefly annoyed ruins ur whole day! you! need! therapy!!!!#men try not to become immediately angry about nothing challenge: level impossible #ps author is nonbinary. we didn't even get into the gender presentation thing #the fact men think it's SEXY that my voice is on the lower end....

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