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cios-correct-opinions · 2 years

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so you’ve never spoken to a radfem in your life

im only answering this as a way to make this info publicly available btw any other asks within this vein will be deleted. just so yall know ahead of time

anyway

i actually have spoken to an unfortunate number of radfems in my lifetime, sadly. on varying levels of the indoctrination scale. all of these experiences have been largely negative based solely on the fact alone that their "goal" was to "save" me or w/e and "show me the error of my transgender ways". as if that's ever in good faith when used in any other argument w any other minority esp within the queer community ever lmfao. so understandably, they were quite distressing, especially when i was a kid.

here's the thing.

even if i weren't trans. even if i weren't nonbinary or a trans man, or in some alternate universe where i am AMAB, a trans woman/transfem. i'm still black. i know bioessentialist bullshit, where it comes from, and where it leads, intimately.

there is a reason why, even if individual radfems themselves deny this and/or aren't willing to engage in this behavior, largely, groups/organizations/whatever tf terms they're using to mask the fact that they're a violent hate group radfems use which are founded by and/or primarily made up of radfems self-identified or otherwise, are often seen or discovered to be in cahoots w white supremacist/n-zi/fascist/other racial "superiority" based regime fundamentalist/traditionalist groups. there is a reason. and it is not hard to see.

radfems are almost word for word in some cases simply re-packaging n-zi/white supremacist/KKK/race essentialist/facist/etc groups' ideology/"science"/teachings/misc. assorted bullshit under the sparkly guise of "feminism" and "female liberation" or "lesbian separatism" etc etc

it surprises me exactly not at all that radfems either dont care or arent aware or arent willing to address this issue. i expected that from those sad losers who are intent on blaming everyone but themselves for their problems, who insist that they aren't at all in any way responsible for feeding into the systemic oppression that is the patriarchy in reality, who insist that everyone BUT themselves examine their behavior/beliefs/etc.

who believe that the patriarchy would magically disappear if all those "Evil Male Penis-Havers" (heavy sarcasm) were simply systemically slaughtered(*) because it is easier for humans, historically as a species, to pick one group of people to call the Other, the "Them", and blame their problems on Them, and "if we just got rid of Them (code for: queers, black ppl, jewish ppl, native american ppl/indigenous ppl worldwide/disabled ppl/mentally ill ppl, etc etc the list goes on and on and fucking on), all of our problems would go away too!"

i expected this from them. cool. fine. they're easy to block bc they make it obvious who they are from their incredibly visually unappealing and often straight up inaccessible, but nonetheless telling, blogs.

i'm just disappointed in the supposedly anti-radfem crowd, esp my fellow trans and nonbinary folk n other queers, who blindly follow the radfem ideology, and then when it is pointed out to them, regardless of how kindly it is done or how nicely or privately etc, unfortunately often react defensively instead of being willing to listen. that's what upsets me and makes me sad more than anything.

like yeah radfems also upset me and make me sad at times, esp when i get unwillingly exposed to their bullshit bc it makes my head hurt with how stupid it all is. but im far more upset n hurt when ppl who should be by all means on my side, are more willing to side w the ppl they claim to hate rather than listen to me when i talk abt yknow. my life experiences.

(*)(i mean. that alone, no matter how you package it, is genocidal. the fact that they want AMAB/people they label as AMAB whether theyre "technically correct" or not, folks to be subjugated in ways which ultimately lead to their eventual "eradication" so as to "liberate" the poor suffering AFABs who can't fight back any other way (again heavy sarcasm), is, no matter what the reason, genocidal. they want a genocide)

any terfs and/or radfems of any kind who interact w this post will simply be blocked on sight. im not about to waste my precious time and energy debating w yall. just do me a favor n stay away from trans folk irl and online, yall hating us does not mean abuse towards us is justified esp when the ppl ur harassing are strangers to u. like cmon man. if someone specific in ur life is causing u grief maybe talk to them abt it personally, dont do that shit where u bother random trans folk or harass them for some strange reason for "daring" to exist while trans (heavy sarcasm, we r clearly not in the wrong here but yknow, these ppl are apparently already unable to understand this so -shrug emoji-)

#radfem #radical feminist #radical feminism #radical feminists #radfems #terf #terfs #me #my voice #my identity #discourse #transmisogyny #transandrophobia #terfs radfems n anyone who agrees w them eat shit challenge

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bisluthq · 3 months

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I feel as though Pete Davidson is this generations John Mayer. I don't understand why all these women are dropping their panties for 'em, but I know they are!

except John is an asshole (no, that one anon not because Taylor said so but because Jessica also did and he said the Joshua Tree of vaginas thing and the “my dick is a white supremacist” thing and he was fucking Kiernan Shipka who could literally be his daughter age wise - and not like a teenage pregnancy like an “I finished college and am starting a family” and it’s not like they were owning it and being like “love doesn’t need a number” lol like they were saying they’re “friends” lmfao) and Pete’s just mentally ill af.

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kaythefloppa · 2 years

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Something Positive on the Wild Kratts fandom [for once]

Ok so I've bitched about how this fandom is basically PBS Kids' equivalent of hell... half of my social media accounts involved tearing it a new one... however there is a positive side to everything, including this, as in...

It is creative as FUCK.

I'm not exaggerating when I say that I've seen some actual amazing stuff done by fans of the show. The biggest examples I'll present are some fan-fics I've read as a kid.

Because here's the thing. When I was a kid, I had no understanding of the line between fan-fiction and what the fanfiction was based on. I would just read a WK fan-fic and think it was an actual episode. I didn't learn until 4 years ago that Power of Nature and Element Charge were fan-fics and not an actual series that somehow flew over my head.

Wild Kratts, as a show, manages to educate viewers about many animals, whilst involving insight into its own story. The fanfictions based on the show do that, only with more creativity because it's many different people making concepts that they enjoy. That's what fanfiction is and will always be and as much as there will always be the shitty ones, I definitely think the better ones deserve the praise they get.

And something funny I find is that some of the fanfictions educated me about animals more than the show did. For example, I read a fanfiction where the Wild Kratts adventured with electric-eels and in that story, I learned what the 3 organs of an electric-eel were as well as the fact that they were fish, not eels. Yeah, where tf was that in the show?? LMFAO.

And I've already mentioned Toodles and Salutations, but it still baffles me how an entire fandom can give two characters such backstory and character based on a one-off scene from the first season. Like, holy fuck I'm impressed. And I could name many more examples, but I don't have the time to. Nevertheless, that does not defeat my point.

THIS is what we need more of. More people using their creativity and making content that can actually entertain people, explore ideas of the show, add their own unique ideas or preferences [ones that are NOT offensive or disgusting], improve some of the show's problems, or even work to educate people about animals that the brothers are yet to adventure with. Any of those and so much more. We need THAT.

We do NOT need the K*cest artists who post that shit publicly to Pinterest and Google. We do NOT need the K*cest writers who rip-off the likes of Catradora or some other gay/popular ship and slap it onto the Kratts as an attempt to look "reVoLuTioNaRy" and "unique." We do NOT need the white supremacists that are to this day, still bitching about Koki's recast. We do NOT need the zoophiles that have been plaguing A03 for the past 5 years, (like seriously, why the fuck are you in a fandom filled with people who love animals, you're just signing your death warrant by being here). WE DO NOT NEED THAT TYPE OF ENERGY IN THIS FANDOM OR ANYWHERE.

Does this count as a rant about the fandom? Yes: Did I go back to bitching about this fandom's problems? Yes. But it should still be noted that we need more of the actual good content in this fandom. So this is both a rant about the bad things in this fandom, and the good things in this fandom we need more of.

#chris kratt #martinkratt #wild kratts #martin kratt #kratt brothers #anti-krattcest #positive rant #rant #fanfiction #creativity #wild kratts fandom #anti proship #fandom

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relaxxattack · 3 years

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Can you elaborate on being raised gender but non practicing? Is it like, you were raised your agab but don't really bother with being that gender? Like you don't focus on it a lot? Or something else?

LMFAO

um technically i do believe in gender cuz i understand what it is and why it exists but i was raised by conservative family members who wanted to make gender a lot more defining then it actually is

which is probably why im bigender today

anyway i see gender as a inherently white supremacist concept that was enforced as the cultural norm for centuries, that doesn’t really exist (at least the way conservatives think of it). like gender is entirely in your head based off your beliefs it’s not a real thing

and i suppoet the way kids today are essentially breaking that old understanding of gender by inventing whatever the fuck kind of genders they want to be, since gender is LITERALLY made up and they should be allowed to do that

but as much as i support it i dont really care that much about it which is why i haven’t looked too much into it and don’t know what qualifies as a demiboy or whatever

i myself experience what i was raised to understand as the two genders simultaneously which is why i personally identify as bigender or gender fluid. but i know it’s not really real and that it’s different for everyone, which is why i also don’t care that much

if that even makes sense

#either im being SUPER based right now or VERY stupid feel free to let me know

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nerdylilpeebee · 3 years

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Why am I not surprised that you have more sympathy for right wing rioters than for feminists lmfao

XD First off, I have sympathy for everyone. It’s called having compassion.

Secondly, why would I have “more” sympathy for terfs? People who actively harm my community? People who spread the lie that I’m a pedophile and refuse to drop it no matter how many times they’re proven to have no fucking proof (no victims, no screenshots, no links. All y’all got is me complimenting someone 2 years younger than me and me being an anime fan while daring to be amab)?

I don’t have “more” sympathy for right-wingers, but at least in this specific case I can say they didn’t do as much harm as people are accusing them of. Especially given not all of them were right-wingers. One confirmed BLM activist among them is enough to believe they weren’t just “white supremacists.”

It’s very rare that I can say the same about terfs and the harm they cause.

#tvp discourse

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bitchykuromi · 4 years

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Yeah cause “the caucasity” response isn’t gonna reinforce the idea that white people are being targeted and set up for oppression as revenge for colonialism/slavery or anything. You’re totally not making the recruiting points of the KKK seem true or anything. You definitely don’t sound like a whatever race you are supremacist or anything. Totally for equality, Just as long as whitey is punished. I’m saying this because I hate racism, because you’re feeding the racist’s propaganda with this shit.

lmao what supremacy am i supporting? what white people feel targeted by "the caucasity", enough to join the kkk lmfao???? it's literally just a case of fragile ego. like ya everyones fears are valid, but ur out of ur goddamn Mind if u think everyone wants whites dead and oppressed. some ppl joke abt it, but all anyone wants is to be treated like theyre people. that's literally the whole point, and ppl aren't looking hard enough as to Why ppl condemn Caucasians tm

i really don't wanna be mean bc u seem like u care, and i don't wanna be those "oh it was just a joke!" bitches, but. it was a joke. bc the op of that post was saying "big bad poc make me confront the idea of whiteness 😭" or whatever the fuck, and i thought it was funny. that's it. plus op was a conservative on tumblr and that's also funny 💀 like which loser goes on here for politics

anyways white guilt is so funny to me? bc im pretty sure not only white people feel the idea of it. it's devestating when u find out that ideas and thoughts you previously had were racist, usually fueled by environment or media. White people aren't the only ones who have inherent privledge, even if they have a lot of it. We all try to unlearn our biases.

but the loudest complainers are usually white like💀💀💀 we all go through the same shit, fuck off. like...we all feel bad abt it, but we also try and do something? if u feel so bad abt being racist then...idk...change it?????

learning u r instrinsicly racist isn't as bad as u think it is. u dont need to announce it. you just gotta learn to be better. You have to analyze urself a lot. You don't have to get angry at someone saying "u are inherently racist so please unlearn it"

all Anyone is asking is for you to listen, but when white ppl go "well im not gonna listen bc that makes me feel shitty!" it's like. okay? we all feel like shit, ur not special. and when they say "this makes me wanna support you less or not at all! this makes me wanna join the kkk! this makes me want to oppress you so you won't whine!" it's like. that's...that's not how this works. at all. that just makes you seem, again, fragile as fuck. that you'd rather join a hate group than learn

idk tho, that's just my opinion. i got off track.

but yea sorry if my "hate speech" makes someone join the kkk? like idk how to explain to you that i. Dont control the kkk and what they do. if they twist my words, then that will never ever be my fault. condemn the kkk or smth, dont be like "well of course its the minorities fault! its not like grown ass white men are running it!"

#long post #racism #angel.txt #anyways you also left out that i recommended a book at how to be anti racist #bc ik white ppl struggle with the idea of privledge and they think being racist is a death sentence. its not. just listen to minorities #if white ppl wanna join the kkk bc a few ppl r mean then im sorry thats not my problem 💀💀 like genuinely u cannot say it is

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bigskydreaming · 4 years

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Saying that a fictional depiction of a rape is the same as promoting rape is like saying that writing a story about a character being gaybashed is promoting gaybashing. If you have the right to write a story based on your experiences, why don't I? Also, where's the line between depiction and romanticisation? There is none. At all. -- queer survivor who will not let you or anyone silence me.

Literally not something I’ve ever said, so congrats on the reading comprehension and thanks for being the 8,647th person to hop in my inbox or on one of my posts about this subject and attempt to make it about everything EXCEPT for things I actually have said and believe.

And for the record, there is a very clear line between depiction and romanticisation, are you kidding me??? Do you even get how communication works?

A work of fiction that essentially says “here are events that happened,” is a depiction.

A work of fiction that essentially says “here are events that happened, and the way in which they happened is intended to be received as sexy or romantic, as is further evidenced by reader reception in the form of comments about how sexy or romantic that depiction of events that happened was,”

....THAT is romanticization.

I am so, so, soooooooooo endlessly tired of being engaged by people who insist on being willfully dishonest and hypocritical about how much power they perceive fiction as having.

Every other day of the week, fanfic is empowering because it gives literally any of us a platform with which to reach other fans and express our own ideas, storylines and emotions regarding characters we all share an interest in.

But the second THIS conversation comes up, in ANY of its myriad forms, suddenly you’re all like, “ummmmm.....I am just a helpless little author who has never shaped anything I’ve ever written with any kind of specific intent or goal towards how I want the audience to receive or perceive my story?? I wouldn’t even know how to go about doing that? Is that even a thing?”

You all know damn well the difference between a story that depicts rape, pedophilia and incest, and a story that romanticizes/sensationalizes/uses those things as the specific elements that are supposed to result in that story being sexually gratifying to readers who engage with it.

Like, lmfao, I’m not the prude anyone makes me out to be, any more than I’m this evil censor about to go into all your houses and strip you of your ability to write whatever you want. Shockingly, guess what? I’ve written erotica myself! Not about those topics, clearly, but I’ve literally written and sold stories that I wrote with the specific intention of being perceived as erotic, sexy, romantic, etc.....

BECAUSE I, LIKE MOST OTHER WRITERS, KNOWS HOW TO GEAR A STORY IN VARIOUS DIRECTIONS WITHOUT HAVING TO ACTUALLY INCLUDE THE HEADERS “THIS PART IS JUST A DEPICTION” AND “OKAY NOW THIS PART YOU SHOULD THINK IS SEXY.”

LOLOL I’m so fucking tired. Literally the only message I have ever expressed on this subject in all the years I’ve been posting about it, on my own damn blog, in my own damn threads, with people like you always being the one to come and engage ME and still somehow operate under the impression that YOU’RE the ones being silenced here, like I’m the one going around to shut down everything YOU’RE saying every time you even open your mouth on a specific subject.....

Like, did I make that clear enough? Was the irony pointed enough there? Is it maybe sinking in a little, the utter ABSURDITY of people like you streaming into my inbox night after night, week after week, to yell “STOP SILENCING ME, I WILL NOT BE OPPRESSED OR CENSORED BY YOU”.....

When I literally have no idea who most of you are, thus couldn’t silence you even if I WANTED to, which again, is not something I’ve ever even expressed, given that my message on this subject over. And over. And over. And over. AND ALWAYS AND CONSISTENTLY IS:

I am not for censorship. Not only do I hate censorship, I don’t view it as even slightly effective, and at most its like trying to slap a bandaid on top of a wound without any attempt to even examine the injury itself and see how it came to be and what it really needs to be effectively treated.

My viewpoints on this subject have always been about one thing and one thing only: personal accountability.

As in, I advocate for people to just fucking apply a little more awareness to their OWN power, their OWN impact, their OWN platform....even if that platform is only fanfiction on the internet, yes.

Power and impact and influence are all still there, even among fanfic writers, as anyone who’s ever posted or reblogged about the legitimacy of fanfiction as a form of fiction, like, already damn well knows, so its so exasperating seeing that fly right out the window the second anyone asks a fanfic writer to scrutinize their own work to even just make sure THEY THEMSELVES are okay with ALL the potential impacts of whatever it is they’re writing.

Fiction is just language. Language is just a tool for communicating ideas, intents, emotions, experiences and more.

And like literally any other tool in the history of humanity, for this is literally the nature of tools and how they work....

A tool has no inherent ‘goodness’ that makes it IMPOSSIBLE to be wielded in a way that produces harm. It simply exists. And its capacity to help or to harm, to be used in positive ways or negative ways.....depends SOLELY on its wielder and how they apply that tool and to what ends.

Fiction, whether the kind on bookshelves in stores or the kind found only on Ao3....has tremendous power. It communicates new ideas to people who’ve never considered a certain point of view before. It conveys new experiences to people who would never encounter something depicted firsthand in their own day to day lives. It conveys emotions, imbued into the narrative by the author themselves, even if those emotions are not necessarily always what the author thinks they are or intended them to be or not always ones readers truly read into the text versus simply project onto the text themselves.

But there are an infinite variety of ways in which fiction has power, has impact, can and does reach people. It connects people, linking them via shared experiences or viewpoints or ideas so that a reader seeing themselves represented in what an author is writing can at least say they’re not alone, there’s someone else out there who says or thinks or experiences things similar to them. It can persuade people, exposing them to new viewpoints they’ve never considered before and convincing them of their validity by the arguments written into the text, even if they were never intended that way or the author might not even consciously be aware of making an argument in the text. It can fortify people, reassuring them that a perspective they have on a subject does have validity because here in this story, there’s someone thinking the same things for the same reasons. It can help people heal or even just hold on long enough to heal, by seeing their own tragedies reflected in a fictional mirror that still manages to impart that healing and recovery after something tragic are possible, that there is potentially more good still to come, in a reader’s life just as in a character’s story.

All I have ever expressed, over and over and over, is that its important to always keep sight of the fact that because fiction is just a tool, and not any more infallible than any writer using it to convey their thoughts and ideas and emotions.....

Fiction DOES still have just as much power to harm, too, if wielded irresponsibly. Everything I just detailed above has a flip side. Its a two way street, it can go both ways. Fiction can just as easily connect bigoted people, white supremacists, homophobes, transphobes, etc.....via shared experiences or viewpoints that reflect and empower the perspectives of bigots, etc. It can persuade people to do or think things that aren’t healthy, by exposing them to toxic viewpoints and convincing them of their validity due to a reader being vulnerable to various arguments that are made in bad faith. And no, this does not mean that I’m saying people run out and do what they see depicted or even romanticized in fiction. I’m simply saying fiction holds every capacity to convince people of the validity of something harmful as much as something healing.....it all just depends on how important that particular thing or argument is to their specific lives, how vulnerable or exposed they are to particular arguments, how much weight they give it, etc, etc. There are a ton of factors here. All I’m saying is this IS a factor, its included among those many, many other things.

Moving on....it can fortify the worst kind of people, reassure them that their prejudices or toxic viewpoint on a subject has validity because a story is seemingly endorsing it without any sign within the narrative that the characters’ perspective on this matter IS flawed, or toxic or unhealthy or prejudiced, rather than just a straight forward and unbiased depiction. And yes, it can hinder personal healing or recovering, by keeping a reader mired in the same kind of thoughts or emotions they’re already currently battling and reinforcing their personal perception that there is no alternative to those things, etc, etc.

None of these are in any way a given, with any given story, any given writer, any given reader. There are tons of variables, as I said.

But also as I’ve said....my only point has always just been that these things EXIST, the potential for these things to happen in this or that way EXISTS, and it is willfully dishonest of fanfic writers and readers to insist on the power of fanfiction to help, to heal, to connect people......while simultaneously trying to absolve themselves of even the need to be CAREFUL with how they wield the power of fiction, because apparently, with fanfiction, its ONLY ever a one way street. Fanfiction NEVER has the power to harm, to reinforce negative or prejudiced perspectives, impart and convince readers of toxic viewpoints and arguments.

How can you pretend that’s not how this works? That saying la la la, I’m JUST a fanfic writer, I only have a couple hundred readers maybe, so by virtue of that, somehow, only good things can result from my writing, there’s noooooooo possible negative impact to any of my work or various ideas I put forth....

Like, that isn’t a thing! LOLOL. That’s not a disclaimer with any power or truth. All it is, is a fandom-spread and perpetuated lie meant to reassure people that here in this space, there is a kind of power that unlike ALL OTHER FORMS OF POWER IN EXISTENCE.....can only ever be a good thing, a positive thing...and thus there is no need for any one in a fandom space, whether writer or reader, to ever have to be on their guard or careful about what they say or believe the way they have to be ‘in the outside world.’ Here, in fandom, you can finally just RELAX, you can just enjoy yourself and have fun and not have to worry about whether you’re doing or saying the wrong thing because none of those things are even a POSSIBILITY here, and anyone who says otherwise is just trying to tarnish our perfect paradise, let the ugliness of the outside world into it via unnecessary and unasked for criticism and scrutiny that isn’t fair to apply here because its not like any of us have any real power, we’re just fans, writing stuff on the internet.

And people are just...DETERMINED not to accept that, or to even LOOK at it as the actual subject being discussed in a lot of these conversations. So you spin everything I and others like me say, turn them into arguments we’ve never actually espoused, warn against the perils of censorship we’ve never actually asked or advocated for, stand tall against the attempts to silence you...THAT HAVE NEVER ACTUALLY EXISTED.

Like....the message that bothers me, the communication that I personally am disturbed by seeing practically everywhere I look in fandom? Yes....its the message conveyed by the mere existence, the sheer volume of fics that depict traumas exactly like mine....but in ways that sexualize them, make them seem more about erotic fantasy rather than the abuses of power that they are in real life. I hate these kinds of stories, and just how damn MUCH of them there are, its true. I’m not denying it, I’ve never denied it. To me, them and all the hundreds and thousands of kudos and comments they receive - even without reading the fics directly, just via a mere AWARENESS that these conversations are taking place, no matter how hard I try to pretend otherwise - to me, the message being conveyed over and over by them is that in the right light, from the right angle, things that happened to me at various points in my life are HOT, are SEXY.....

Like as an example, since apparently it seems I’ve been using my ‘gaybashed’ card too freely and unfairly shutting down conversations like this (lol again, let’s not forget, conversations that I begin, on my own blog, and that not a damn one of you is forced to interact with no matter how hard to play the STOP SILENCING angle when voluntarily approaching ME and trying to shame or guilt ME into not talking so much about this topic, aka SILENCING MEEEEEEEEEE)...

Anyway, all that aside, for this example let me pull from something I don’t talk about as much: the years when I was an escort in my late teens and early twenties, literally getting into bed with much older and extremely predatory men because I needed the money....AND because I was using this in part as a ‘coping mechanism’ to convince myself that sex had no power to hurt me. That thus by doing this I was retroactively taking away my rapes’ ability to harm me in the first place, and thus, I had never really been harmed and was FINE..... Except I was very much NOT okay, I absolutely ended up revictimized and further traumatizing myself because a lot of the people I interacted with at that period of my life were NOT good people and DIDN’T have a care for my best interests or even safety, even while saying and doing all the right things, the sexy things, even the romantic things...

I mean, I’m just saying....I could absolutely, without a doubt, write some of my own life experiences, things that were traumatizing to me and have left lingering scars....I could take some of those and write them in such a way as to have a sexualized or romanticized slant, publish them on Ao3 with names swapped out for some fictional characters and call it an AU.......and I for sure would get comments and kudos about how hot all of that was.

Now, I have no interest in doing that, obviously....but the thing is, I don’t HAVE to. Because those stories already EXIST, even if they don’t exactly match up to my specific experiences and they’re written by people who literally have no idea I even exist, let alone have lived through scenes eerily similar to what they write.

And just like those stories exist....the comments, and the kudos, and the praise and the glorification of these stories, the events depicted within them, the DYNAMICS depicted within them....these already exist as well. And I’m painfully, PAINFULLY aware of that. Every day. Every fandom I’m in. Every fandom I’ve ever been in.

And it SUCKS. I hate knowing that two posts down from some story I’m reading, there’s a story that has people drooling over the exact kind of predator that fucked with me and my head so much back in those years. I hate stumbling into an untagged AU every once in awhile and finding Bruce being depicted as Dick’s sugar daddy, preying on the MUCH younger man that we all normally associate with being his SON.....and knowing from past experience that if I click on the comments, almost without a doubt, judging by the 22 comments on one chapter alone, I’ll find enough swooning over how HOT and ROMANTIC this is, that it will most likely make me violently ill for the rest of the night. Because I so INTIMATELY know that there is NOTHING safe or healthy or not fucking traumatizing about that kind of dynamic with a person who is SUPPOSED to be safe and trustworthy to be around.......and I’m reminded all over again, just like I have been at SO MANY points in my life....how many people just don’t want to HEAR this, because they prefer their fantasy over the reality I know firsthand....BUT NONE OF THAT MAKES MY REALITY ANY LESS REAL OR LIVED THROUGH.

The thing so many of you don’t get is....none of this is even about whether I read these stories or not, none of it is about whether all of them get tagged properly or not....hell, none of it is actually about whether the people writing these fics are actually pedophiles or ‘endorsing’ these things or anything like that....I NEVER ARGUE ANY OF THAT, BECAUSE NONE OF IT IS THE POINT.

The point is just....the sheer bombardment of a singular message across so many fandoms, so many pairings, from so many people....

With that message being, to a very wide audience....with the right character in the right scenario....the things that for various people like myself and other survivors who DON’T like being surrounded by all this either, whether or not there are many survivors who for whatever reason DO find themselves okay with it...

(And considering our existence and arguments don’t invalidate your acceptance of these things, why do you so confidently tout the idea that YOUR existence and arguments should somehow innately just make all of this less objectionable to us? Just curious.)

The point is, no matter who is writing these stories or why, whether they ACTUALLY endorse these things or would never in a million years find them acceptable in real life (and again, why are you so confident that this is true for EVERYONE who writes these things, and by extension, why the FUCK do you presume its okay to expect all survivors to just give EVERYONE the benefit of the doubt as to why they’re writing these stories, when some of them are virtually indistinguishable from the kinds of things someone who DID find these things hot and sexy to enact on others in real life, would write themselves)....

Like.....none of that matters. Because none of that in any way affects the reality so many of us experience in fandom spaces:

That over and over we’re reminded that what was devastatingly traumatic for us, and impacts every day of our lives ever since.....to a wide audience of others, is just a hot, sexy fantasy and they’re all crying out MORE, MORE, GIVE US MORE.

And you all just sit back there and just us for saying....”it really bothers us to be surrounded by this message everywhere we turn.”

You shame US for saying this makes our fandom environment toxic and hostile at times.....and you flip the script and ask how dare WE shame survivors, who are probably just using these fics to cope....and literally ALL the people reading and writing these fics are survivors probably, I mean, you don’t know....and of course it’d be wildly inappropriate to ask so its probably best to just assume everyone writing these things are survivors....and thus we, no matter if we are survivors ourselves, have no business SHAMING or SILENCING them for just working through their shit in ways that its not even like it can actually hurt us anyway.

Except it DOES. It IS. And we say that, and you REFUSE TO HEAR US. You say “well this isn’t true for me, so it can’t be true for you or else just doesn’t matter if it is,” even though at no point have I or others I know ever said “because this is true for me, I am assuming it to be true for all survivors.”

You come into MY inbox, and act like you’re standing tall and proud against MY silencing tactics. Yeah, would I love it if I could go even a single day without having to gingerly avoid these stories and all mention of them, all casual references to them, all glowing praise of them, everywhere I look in fandom? Absofuckinglutely. Does me WANTING this thing - this thing we all know is never in actual danger of happening, lol - does this in ANY way ACTIONABLY translate into me censoring anyone, impeding anyone’s ability to write or post or read these things, is it me going in the comments of any of these fics and yelling HOW DARE YOU WRITE THIS and when that doesn’t get me the response I want, going to the blogs of the writers and yelling I WILL NOT BE SILENCED?

No. No. And fuck no. None of these things are happening, none of these things are reality.

And yet here you are, like SOOOOOOO MANY before you and like SOOOOOO MANY who will inevitably follow you in the future....

And your condescension and disdain for me and everything I think and everything I’ve lived through and my willingness or even just the way I choose to talk about it, just JUMPS off the page.

But the thing that will never not just absolutely fucking SLAY me, is the sheer absurdity of the accusations you and so many others level against me for MY censorship, MY shaming of other survivors. MY silencing tactics or whatever....

When you consider the fact that, yeah, I would love not having to see all these stories and other related things every single day. I would LOVE it.

But I’m not doing a single damn thing to make that a reality, to make that a DANGER, a THREAT to you and the thing you enjoy.....

Other than posting about it on my blog, and expressing how I feel about it, and arguing why I wish other people would spend more time considering perspectives like mine on the matter.

That’s it. That’s the whole grand conspiracy. That’s my awful and terrible assault on you and your autonomy and your freedom of speech and your interests and likes.

And meanwhile, here you are, stepping forward to confront ME in my own space about things I’ve said here and nowhere else that you’re forced to engage with and interact with and incapable of avoiding....

And you have the utter GALL to tell ME that YOU will not be silenced by the likes of me.

When every single person who reads this knows DAMN well that you and others like you only send me all these anons......

Because you want me to shut up and just never talk about these things again, as much if not more than I wish all these people would not even stop writing.....but rather just....would consider writing literally ANYTHING else instead.

But somehow, for some reason....when YOU want ME to stop talking....you’re not trying to silence me, or censor me, or any of those other things, oh know.

Its just me talking about my own damn feelings, experiences and opinions on my own damn blog.

THAT’S the real threat to fandom togetherness, community, and freedom of speech and personal autonomy.

LOL. Awfully convenient, wouldn’t you say?

But whatever. Its all good, anon. You go ahead and keep the moral high ground here. You’ve earned it, clearly.

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highqueenofelfhame · 5 years

Note

stans say we’re sexist bc we don’t like aelin but like chaol&dorian. if I say Aelin is becoming a tyrant, they’re like “well Kale used to work for the tyrant king!” Which is true but that’s the difference? Kale realizes he’s fucked up about everything, & then joins the rebels. Meanwhile, Aelin starts off like a vigilante but then gets power hungry. She threatens to burn ppl alive & wants to conquer them. Her post h0f storyline has this (white) supremacist vibe that just makes me...uncomfortable

Well. Okay. This is a lot to unpack that I flat out disagree with and you definitely came to the wrong blog to chat about Chaol’s redemption because I don’t think there was any.

Not liking Aelin is sexist when you dislike her for her arrogance and snark etc when you still support characters like Dorian or William Herondale or The Darkling or Kaz Brekker. Like it’s sexist when you’re disliking her for being a bitch but like other characters that are bitchy men. THAT is when not liking her is sexist. It’s fine to not like a character, I can see why Aelin isn’t going to be for everyone and why she’s not everyone’s cup of tea.

1. Chaol doesn’t join the rebels because he fucked up about everything. Chaol joined the rebels because he escaped the castle and had no other choice if he had any hope of saving Dorian. But he didn’t leave because he realized he’d done anything wrong. He doesn’t think he did anything wrong until way later when he kind of redeems himself but to me he just doesn’t really. He’s an entitled jackass for the majority of that series but that’s just my personal opinion. I do not like Chaol Westfall, I never have, and I probably never will.

2. Aelin wasn’t ever a vigilante. She was flat out an assassin for hire theres nothing else to even say on that topic. She was purely an assassin for hire until QoS because she was only in Wendlyn BECAUSE she was an assassin. She was never trying to do any good until after that. She was content to keep being an assassin until Maeve forced her to become herself.

3. Where tf are you getting that she’s power hungry? She didn’t want any of her power. She stayed under the wing of an abusive psychopath for like 8 years because a) people were trying to kill her and b) she was escaping the weight of her crown. When she ran away from Marion to avoid being murdered she never looked back and she didn’t want to. She was completely fine with never having to be queen. When everything started to come out that she had to do all this shit to save the world, she didn’t want that either. She says it so many times. Her life was never her own to deal with, and she never wanted any of that responsibility. Even when she was little and the princess she did not want to become queen. This entire narrative does not make sense and if you truly believe that then you did not read the same book.

4. Aelin threatened to burn people to prove a point. When she did it in HoF, it was to prove a point and manipulate the situation to get what she needed from Maeve. I think she maybe threatens something similar at the end of QoS to keep the people in Adarlan from misbehaving until Dorian was ready to take back over.

5. Conquer them WHERE? Literally what? If she wanted to conquer people and cities she would have very, very easily. She could have conquered far more than Adarlan ever did if she wanted to. That was never her agenda. She loved Terrasen. She grew back into her role as a queen to protect Terrasen. If she really wanted to conquer and was power hungry she would have taken over Adarlan while she had the chance.

I’m not even going to comment on the white supremacist thing because it’s just…actually so stupid that I can’t wrap my head around it.

If you don’t like books or characters or whatever like it’s fine, nobody is forcing you to. You don’t have to read the books, you don’t have to talk about the characters. I will never understand like anti culture because I only talk about how much I don’t like Chaol when it gets brought up. I know he’s a character that so many other people enjoy and love and I think that’s great and when it’s called for I dive deeper into that reasoning. But I wouldn’t ever go to someone’s blog that I know loves Chaol and like pick anon fights about why I don’t like the him or whatever. I just don’t get the point, I think you’re entitled to your opinions and that’s fine but what’s the point in going to blogs that you know it’ll just start an argument with the person that runs the blog, y’know? It’s just stupid and exhausting to me and antis put some much time and effort and energy into disliking whatever thing they’re against that it makes ME tired. Like take a nap and read a different book lmfao.

#aelin galathynius #aelin ashryver galathynius #tog #throne of glass #what the fuck even is this shit lmfao #chaol westfall #dorian havilliard #anti culture #this made me so tired lmfao

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starbounds · 5 years

Note

Y'all are really mad over a Minecraft clone???? Guys Shes a villains shes not supposed to be relatable or good or even have a good design??? She's the antagonist??? Also y'all are acting like A. There are no such things as POC Nazis?

“Y'all are really mad over a Minecraft clone????”

sick fuckin own bro but surprisingly if you make or do something racist then you should be held accountable for it. because there are consequences for perpetuating racism.

“Guys Shes a villains shes not supposed to be relatable or good or even have a good design??? She's the antagonist???”

it’s not about her being relatable dumbass, the design SHOULD’VE been taken into account when they were making a space nazi terrorist cult leader. instead of making the leader of a supremacist cult a woman of colour. they could’ve made her an antagonist while also not making her a racist caricature, did you know that? did you know you can make villains without being racist?

"Also y'all are acting like A. There are no such things as POC Nazis?”

ok first off. poc isnt an adjective, “people of colour nazis” doesn’t make sense. Secondly. did you really just tell me white supremacists of colour exist. are you shitting my pants right now.

why are you defending starb’s racism lmfao can you use your brain for a second before spouting bullshit into my askbox. wasting my fuckin time

#anon #asks

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notsoheadless · 7 years

Video

youtube

Okay so the other night I watched the whole debate and here were the things Jontron said that got me. They’re under the cut cause it’s so much. My favorites are bolded. If it doesn’t specify a speaker that means Jontron said it. They all have timestamps so you can’t say I just took these out of context lol. This reads kinda like a liveblog. (Disclaimer: I don’t agree with everything Destiny said, but gotdamn at least he was competent and Not An Asshole. If you watch the video, TW for ablest slurs.)

“Whites becoming a minority in the country that they built” (10:20)

(These next three things happen in like the same 3 minutes jfc) (EDIT: after coming back and doing the timestamps it’s the same 2 minutes JFC)

*jontron brings up Japan as an example* *Destiny points out how racist Japan is and has been in the past and how it’s hurting them* Jontron: “no I think they are a model society” (13:04)

*jontron asks what’s so wrong about white people wanting to preserve their demographic majority* *destiny asks why skin color matters using the word “you” in a general way* Jontron: “well, I didn’t start this, did I?!” (14:06)

Jontron: “I think people are tribal and want to stick to their own” Destiny: (quoting jontron from earlier in the stream) “but you’ve disproved that yourself because you think you’re white but you’re Iranian and Hungarian, that wouldn’t have been considered white in the-” Jontron: “I’m not talking about me, I’m talking about mass immigration!” (They were not talking about mass immigration) (14:35)

“These are just slurs: ‘White supremacist, racist!’” (16:57)

“Irish were always considered white, I don’t know where the myth that they weren’t came from, that’s ridiculous” (19:41)

Apparently having signs that say “Irish need not apply” is “not liking” Irish people. (20:35)

“Perhaps the Italians and Irish had some traits that were not desirable” (21:17)

Mexican illegal immigrant rapists should be deported but white rapists are “part of the American family” (I know what he was trying to say but jfc what a way to say it) (22:29)

(After literally saying that whites should remain the majority for the whole stream) “Look, I’m not saying that whites should remain the majority, I’m just saying that whites are not allowed to speak up against their demographic……*fumbles for words*…….oblivion” (23:21)

WHITE PEOPLE ARE BEING DISPLACED LADS I GUESS WE GOT SOME REVERSE GENTRIFICATION LMFAO OOOOO OOOOOO AND APPARENTLY THIS DISPLACEMENT IS COMPARABLE TO WHAT HAPPENED TO NATIVE AMERICANS J F C (23:49)

(THERES AN HOUR AND 37 MINUTES OF THIS VIDEO LEFT HOOOOWWW)

*jontron brings up Tibet as a “parallel situation” and destiny doesn’t know about it so doesn’t comment* I ACTUALLY JUST LEARNED ABOUT THIS IN INTRO TO EAST ASIAN HISTORY and lemme tell you rn it has nothing to do with what’s going on in America and is a completely different thing shaped by a completely different history but hmu if you wanna know what happened or like, google exists too. (25:11)

*jontron compares immigration to colonization like it’s the same fucking thing* *destiny points out how that’s not the same At. All.* Jontron: “Then what do you call a large number of people from one place coming in, setting up their own ethnic enclaves and waving their own flags in our country.” (26:18)

ILLEGAL MEXICANS ARE THE TRUE CAUSE OF GENTRIFICATION MY FRIENDS (28:37)

At one point Jontron pulls some bullshit statistic out of his ass and then Destiny straight up googles it right then and there LMAO (he doesn’t mention it but tell me that’s not what happened lmfao) (30:03)

*laughing* “Its soft displacement, dude.” (31:01)

Destiny: “When you say you want to 'make America great again,’ what time period are you referring to?” Jontron: “…I think that’s a very silly question.” (33:33)

*completely out of fucking left field* “there is a disproportionate amount of crime committed to whites by non-whites” (34:34)

The infamous “Wealthy blacks commit more crimes than poor whites. That’s a fact.” (I love Destiny’s reaction lmao “Wait, what???” And then stunned silence.) (36:23)

“That implies that the court system is somehow racist.” (LMFAOOOOOO WHOS GONNA TELL HIM) (37:14)

*proceeds to get told bout the court system* “I don’t subscribe to that” (37:27)

*Destiny points out that it’s white christians who protest things like abortions and LGBT rights* Jontron: “there may be a small minority of white christians who do that.” (He thinks is majority Muslims doing this) (49:20)

*Destiny, as he has been trying to do the whole stream, points out that Europe and the US are vastly different things and brings this up with the context of Europeans* Destiny: “Also no one sees themselves as a 'North American.’ Do you think at the end of the day, 'Ah yes, I feel like a North American’ today. Just like a Canadian and a Mexican.” Jontron: “I do think that we are very different from Mexico, but very similar to Canada.” (51:14)

Okay Jontron basically says that if people assimilated and entered the gene pool they’d eventually become white but then when asked if he’s saying that he says no?????? (1:02:17)

Destiny: “okay but you keep making this about race why do you keep going back to whites” Jontron: “because I-I-I- ….I you know, I do think,…. you know race……influences culture.” (1:04:00)

“Just because I believe they have a different experience doesn’t mean I advocate that black lives matter” (OOOOOO again I know what he means but just talk yourself into a hole my guy) (1:05:28)

Destiny: *attempts to have a civil conversation about why BLM exists and why problems in the black community exist, doesn’t insinuate Jontron has any specific opinion on this* Jontron: “You’re like one of those talk shows where they try to trap ya! Like CNN!” (1:06:06)

“That’s why you’re seeing this rise in all these quote unquote nazis” (homie they call themselves neo-nazis) (1:10:41) (EDIT: getting the timestamps I actually missed this one and had to go back because it had NOTHING to do with what they were talking about lmao.)

Jontron (who’s been going off on tangents the whole stream, with Destiny desperately trying to keep them on one topic when they get there): “you’re just going off on tangents, dude.” (1:11:59)

“You can speak flowery language about this stuff” after Destiny uses very basic language to make a point lmao. Like that’s what a debate is, jontron. (1:13:00)

“If you don’t think we’ve gotten rid of discrimination you’re living in a fantasy land.” (1:14:04)

“The United States and Europe are interconnected spiritually.” (1:15:17)

(HOW ARE THERE STILL 43 MINUTES)

(No wait it’s cool I think the rest is just Destiny talking about what a train wreck that was Jontron left)

#holy fucking shit #jontron #like these are all things HE SAID of HIS OWN FREE WILL #headless banter #tylizzle

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blackvalyrians · 7 years

Text

Racism & Anti-SJWS

I may not be an sjw, but I will never call myself an anti-sjw. Your community is just as hypocritical as the other side and just as racist. Y'all hate the ignorance and racism directed at white people but many times you idiots have no problem doing the same thing to black people.

Let’s see: mass generalizations of black people (black people were useless, lived in mud huts and never had any civilization, and without Europeans would be in mud, swinging from trees, etc. And of course, people acting as if black people didn’t contribute to America. I saw one supposed logical decent anti-sjw say something like this and then delete it like the coward he was. You guys always beat your chests and say We Wuz Kangs n Shiet for anything. Even when someone is trying to correct and give actual information on African History. FYI there were actual black African civilizations.

“Wow black people are really regressive aren’t they? Backwards ass, bigoted, stuck in the 60′s assed morons.” A popular anti-sjw

Question: Why are the black racists on this site called black tumblr and white racists get other titles such as white racists, neo-nazi’s etc? Really? You think saying black tumblr is appropriate when referring to racists that are black people? Can white tumblr be used to mean all white racists on this site? (which no, I don’t think it would right either).

Anyways, moving on, disturbingly enough some of you people hang around white supremacists and even defend them, or use them as sources. You, the same people who bash liberal websites such as Huffington post (which is trash that’s true), have blogged and used white supremacist websites as a source. And then say, it’s not the source but whether they are correct. -_-

It’s very interesting to see you guys interact and defend for instance, elegantbeardedchaoscollection, who spewed anti-semitic holocaust denial and said racist things about black people, and interracial relationships but he was still in this community for some reason.

How lovely, how lovely for you to be against racism, yet time and time again, I have seen this gif pop up. Disgusting.

"It amazes me that people think being cautious of blacks is racist. The FBI statistics show it's just good judgement." another popular anti-sjw

Oh and I do enjoy you using intra-community issues to boost your own egos and then engage in hypocritical behavior. Let me expand on that, people like me get called uncle tom or coon or house nigger, and you valiantly ride in to say that behavior is wrong. That’s true of course, but then several of you have no problems using the n word (even sometimes the hard er) and will call other black people that word because you don’t like them or to provoke them. That’s hypocrisy! How can you call out black people for using racist slurs against black people they don’t like, and then you turn around and use slurs against black people you don’t like?

So, then going on, we hear that racism is just a minor issue in this country (except when it happens to white people), and that black people aren’t oppressed and need to stop bringing up slavery, and then several of you will turn around and say:

Well the Democratic party has black people enslaved. Their being pimped out, or they are in chains. What in the hell? I am conservative myself and I don’t like democrats, but can you be consistent?? If half of the country (Democratic party) is conspiring to keep black people in chains and its a modern day slave plantation, then there is a serious problem regarding racism against black people in this country.

Oh and another thing, posting false history. Like that Anthony Johnson case. So what’s going on here is that you prop him up to try and say that black people started slavery and got what they deserved huh? First of all, even if this was true, you would have to be a fool of the highest order if you think that slavery in America did not affect black people on a racial context. And what about afterwards? Black Codes, Jim Crow, etc? Oh so I am meant to believe slavery was equal opportunity and there was racism and then segregation, etc just happened to pop up and just happened to be targeted at black people?

By the way, it is disgusting to try and say that black slaves were living the good life and had free food and healthcare. That’s just absolutely disgusting.

Also there is the hypocrisy involving indentured servitude. Either it is slavery or its not (which it isn’t, even though it wasn’t a good thing). However you hypocrites will pick and choose when it is slavery or when it is indentured servitude. When you want black people to shut up, you say oh that was slavery, when you are arguing the Anthony Johnson case, you will revert to it being indentured servitude again, because indentured servitude had existed before him and if it was slavery, then well Anthony Johnson, a black man can’t be blamed for starting slavery in America, now can he?

Back to Anthony Johnson, Anthony Johnson set the precedent that a slave owner could black. He did not start slavery himself. In 1654, when an issue of whether John Casor was his slave or not arose, and John Casor became his slave, he set the precedent that a black man could own a slave as well.

John Punch was a slave who started out in indentured servitude and escaped his plantation, as a result, he was sentenced to a lifetime of slavery. This was in 1640.

http://www.pbs.org/wnet/slavery/experience/responses/spotlight.html

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Punch_(slave)

Also, another thing that is concerning to me. The Barbary Slave Trade. I have talked about this before, but I will mention it again. There is some hypocrisy going on here as well. In general, y'all will say that there were no black people in North Africa, but when you want to bring up the Barbary Slave Trade, all of a sudden there was black people up there, and not only that, they left the continent and went raiding along Europe for white people. Which is it? The Barbary Slave Trade was wrong and atrocious, there is no doubt about that, but again, which version of it is the truth? You can’t pick and choose whether or not black people were in North Africa depending on your narrative.

And also disturbingly enough, several of you seem to actually believe that interracial rape is only black on white. You actually believe that white men don’t rape black women and the rate is 0. I am profoundly disturbed by this type of stupidity and racism. And even if it was true, even if it was. Like no, no, you are not getting credit for white men not raping black women. They still rape white women and women of other races, so no. I mean what the hell? What kind of moron would even try and brag about this?

And some of you seriously need to learn how to read statistics.

“Lmfao at “black Tumblr” talking shit about the way people look. Oh honey at least our dads didn’t abandon us.” - another popular anti-sjw

I may have just mentioned black people, but that’s not the only group from which anti-sjws direct racism against. There was one idiot that was talking about how Mexican illegals should be shot crossing the border (including women and children).

"I wish black people took jokes as well as they take government assistance.” another popular anti-sjw

I am not happy about this nonsense at all. Targeting black people as a whole, just because you hate the black racists is not fair and it is still racism just as it is not fair to target white people as a whole because of white racists.

And when I say anti-sjws, I mean anti-sjws. Not white people, but ant-sjws. I am aware that not all anti-sjws are white.

#racism #antiblackness #anti sjws #dumblr

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rhapsody-in-heaven · 3 years

Text

An Open Letter about Racism and the Term Banana

Context

First Incident sometime last month i referred to myself as a banana and was told it was subtly racist. i *thought* i had adequately explained why it was not and why i identified as such. i had also explained that i would never actively call someone else a banana unless they also referred to themselves as such.

Second Incident it happened last night. to her defence, before i start, she was a bit drunk and i also know shes super passionate about this topic. however, i do have to say i think shes too “politically correct” sometimes to the point where she would be offended by how i view myself - but well get to that later. anyways, she was a bit drunk and we somehow came to the topic of xenophobia vs racism and that somehow spiraled into “reverse racism” and how it, in her opinion, doesnt exist, but i didnt agree. i mostly was content with letting the topic go but she really wanted to convince me otherwise. she got frustrated w me enough tho that she said something along the lines of “this is like how u call urself a banana and think its not racist and that its okay, but it is racist and its not okay” to which i yelled back “i talked to my asian american friends about this and they all tell me that you dont understand my experiences”

Open Letter

Part One - Our Conversation About Xenophobia, Racism and “Reverse Racism”

First, I want to say about the whole issue of xenophobia and “reverse racism”, maybe youre right. And certainly you believe so. Maybe white people cant experience racism. And i certainly understood your point about how its only the oppressed class or classes who could experience it.

But I also believe that they can be oppressed in non-white dominated countries. Maybe you see it as discrimination and not racism. And that’s fine. But I do not claim to know everything that happens in the world, and so I cannot say for 100% certainty that they do not.

Even if in a societal scale they “cannot” experience racism. Can you then say it doesnt happen on a personal level? If my moms telling me she rather me marry Chinese>Asian>White>Black, to me, that is racism not just “discrimination” or “xenophobia” (which was by ur definition a rejection of anyone whos different) why isnt it just “i rather u marry a chinese guy”? why are there tiers?

Maybe you have a sound explaination for this. Maybe i still dont fully understand the subtle differences between the term racist, or xenophobic. Again, im more than willing to play with the idea im wrong. But its not something youre going to convince me of in a 15 minute half drunken conversation.

Side Note: Did you know white europeans used to be enslaved by muslims? these are the stories we never hear about because being a victim at any point in time doesnt fit the narrative of white people always being on top or the narrative of whites being the “evil colonialists”.

Part Two - The Term Banana

I thought you understood me the last time we talked but I guess not because you called me racist last night. I want to preface this by saying at the time I read what articles I could find, written by asian americans about how they either accepted or rejected this term. I also went to ask my asian american friends what they thought as well.

All my friends and I identify with the term banana. There are some, in the articles I read who do reject this term. And i will reiterate that I would never call someone a banana unless they themselves do and it comes up in conversation like “im such a banana.” “lmfao its fine we can be bananas together”.

I remember you thought it wasnt a term I should use because “i will always be asian” and i cant “make myself white”. I have never wanted to be white. I was a pretty weird kid, and I always knew i was different from others, I was always very aware of the fact that I was Asian and I was always proud of it. My Experiences from Canada

I know for some of my friends it was a shock learning that they were different from their peers. One example i can give is the comedian Joe Wang tells this story about how his son thinks hes white and was shocked to learn he was actually “yellow”. But for me, anytime someone asked me where i was from, I would say “China” (at this point i didnt know the difference status Hong Kong held). Now, part of this I attribute to actually being born in Hong Kong and therefore saying i was from “China” was true to me. The other part is that I never really experienced racism. Then again, maybe i did and i was just too dense to realize. But i never had the thing where kids would go “ewww whats that stuff ur eating”. Certainly i would get weird looks sometimes, but, to me it was just like i like eating broccoli but hate carrots, u think broccoli is gross but u love carrots. I never took it as a racial thing. I even remember i brought mooncakes once for my class to try and almost no one took me up on it but the teacher. The ones who did expressed they really didnt like like w their face. But i didnt feel bad. I remember carrying the box of mooncakes back to the car and telling my mom they didnt wanna try and immediately both of us said “oh well, more for us”. I will say when I was young, I really wanted to have blond hair and blue eyes, curly hair even. I saw a friend and thought it was so pretty. But even as i imagined myself with blond hair and blue eyes, i still saw myself w asian features not white features. A little later I started watching anime and wanted purple eyes so i can say with certainty it wasnt a me wanting to me white thing. My Experiences in Hong Kong and with My Family in General

Growing up my parents and my family back in Hong Kong, would always call me a “gwei mui”. From wikipedia, “Gwei [xxx] is a common Cantonese slang term for Westerners. In the absence of modifiers, it refers to white people and has a history of racially deprecatory and pejorative use, although it has been argued that it has since acquired a more neutral connotation. Cantonese speakers frequently use gwailou to refer to Westerners in general use, in a non-derogatory context, although whether this type of usage is offensive (i.e., an ethnic slur) is disputed by both Cantonese and Westerners alike”. Yes, in the past this word was racially charged, but in the present, its just another way to refer to westerners. I don’t really wanna get into it right now because theres a lot more to break down, but just know that its just a common way to refer to foreigners and the term “gwei mui” specifically refers to white girls.

I grew up like this. And I grew up knowing that it was a very neutral term for people to call westerners and I also grew up being called such. Just as it was a fact that I was a girl, or that my moms name was Elsa, I was a gwei mui.

Hong Kong is an international city. And there are foreigners everywhere. I remember walking into a store and before I even said anything, the shop assistants would ask “oh, youre from overseas right?” “yeah, how did you know?” “oh i can just tell by the way u carry yourself”. I had a friend tell me that she could tell i grew up overseas from the way i stood waiting in line, have ppl tell me they could tell by my make up or by how i dressed. My “Thesis” on the Matter

In Hong Kong, and in my family and my extended family I was always the “white girl”. You once said that I couldnt be white no matter what, that i would always be asian. Can you tell my family that? Can you erase the fact that I was heavily influenced by western culture? I will say again, i never wanted to be white. And to be quite honest, when you said that I couldnt be white, and that i would always be asian, I felt angry. Angry that you could even imply I would want to be white, that i would want to be anything other than asian, that you assumed to know how i was feeling.

But you need to understand, its not about “wanting to be white”, its about “not being asian enough”. You need to understand, that it never came from white communities, it came from my parents and my family back home.

It was never racially motivated. It was just a fact. I’m currently 25 years old, I’m 5ft5(ish), I weigh about 117lbs, I was born a girl and identiy as such, I’m from Hong Kong, I grew up in Canada and i’m a banana.

If we were to go back to what u were trying to explain about racism and xenophobia then you could make the argument that “gwei mui” and “banana” had xenophobic roots - but to tell me its racist? because im itching to be white? i thoroughly reject that and i find it offensive. If we were to take this stance tho, that it had xenophobic roots, and is therefore xenophobic, I would say “yes, maybe. but if im reclaiming it and seeing it as acknowledgement that I am a mesh of two different cultures, who are you to tell me its wrong?” Furthermore, i would make the argument that the n-word most definitely had racial undertones. but black ppl proudly call themselves the n-word. Why cant I call myself a banana without people telling me im being racist. The final reason on why that statement about how i will always be asian and never white disturbs me to the core is the way that statement lumps all asians together. And maybe you didnt mean it like this or didnt even notice. But my experiences are vastly different from my cousins who grew up in Hong Kong. And yes, by the colour of my skin i will always be asian. But the experiences that make up who I am and my personality are very Canadian, very western based. And to basically overlook that, is to overlook my existence and the existence of Asian Americans. I know you would never do this, but to basically put all Asians in one category is the same mind that would white supremacists' would tell us to “go back to our country” not acknowledging that most of us were born or at least grew up here.

Thoughts from My Asian American Friends. Like I said, I talked to this with a lot of my asian american friends. Most of which identified w the term banana and actively call themselves one. Others who don’t, but are not offended when others identify themselves as such. They reiterated that the term banana was never about “wanting to be white” that it was never an issue of “want”. That it never came from white communities. It came from their families back in asia. That they were “too white” or “not asian enough”. As one friend put it, “i mean in honesty we say it cause we feel like we don't totally belong to our culture, it's not saying it in means to erase our race.” another friend added “ This is true. I’ve seen posts about struggles of other Asian Americans who feel like they’re too Asian to be accepted as an American but too American to be accepted as an Asian lol”. They also said that to deny us of calling ourselves bananas is to invalidate our experiences and our existence as asian americans. That we are not the same as our counterparts who grew up in asia. That we were heavily influenced by western culture. “ Lmao did they just forget that as much as Asian blood runs in you, your whole life has been in CA? For that person to say that to you feels like she’s already making you feel invalidated for being Asian AND Canadian”. Who are others, who are not asian americans, to tell us, asian americans, how we can or cannot identify ourselves. Who are non asian americans to tell us this is racist, to say that we “want” to be white when they dont understand how we feel at all. my one friend said and i quote, “yeah I don’t think calling myself a banana is racist, like dude I’m talking about myself and how I see myself, who tf are you to say anything”.

one friend said it played into the white savior narrative. that we dont know better and that not specifically you, but that in general white ppl are getting angry for us, trying to educate us and inform us because we dont know better. Another friend agreed that it probably started off as a negative but then ppl accepted it cuz it made sense - similar to how gweilo started off as having negative connotations but is now just neutral. She said, “banana imo is one of those words that started off as something bad but gradually (some) people accepted it and started referring themselves as banana because it makes sense lol”. Closing Statements

I’m not trying to make you feel bad and i honestly hope i dont. But I remember you telling me it was important to have these conversations so I hope this isnt too uncomfortable. honestly tho, i dont even know if im ever going to send this to you or if youll read it.

But I really need you to understand where this comes from and where I’m coming from. If you dont agree, I can’t really change that. But to essentially call me racist for how identify myself with the things i struggle with, is 100% not okay. To tell me I’ll always be asian and to imply i shouldnt want to be white is 110% offensive. and to lump asian americans with asians is 100% denying our experiences. to tell me how i can and cannot see myself, is also 100% not your call, its mine. And it really hurt to know after our conversation last time you still thought i was ‘wrong’ that you thought I was being racist instead of truly respecting where it comes from. At some point you might be able to gradually convince me ‘reverse racism’ doesnt exist. but there is no way in hell, you will convince me that how I or other asian americans see ourselves is the “wrong” way to see ourselves.

#raceissues #race #asianamerican #asian canadian #how we identify

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