#would that make everything worse? YES.

[shenyaanigans]

man i wanna write makoharu fic where like. SOMEBODY gets pissed at haru on makoto's behalf. like anybody. rei i feel like is a good one because he had the guts to do it

#kat chats #f! #random free posting but #listen #haru sometimes does some Things ok—and they're understandable!! they're often from places of extreme hurt or fear and like #makoto being endlessly patient is part of how haru is able to get out #but i just want someone in makoto's support network (and maybe someone who is also hurt themselves) to. give haru a talking to #would that make everything worse? YES. #would it be cathartic tho? OH MAN.

[kaltacore]

y'all know the 'and i love you so much i'm gonna let you kill me' line from that one florence + the machine song but i just can't stop thinking about it. like it is the ultimate anders line. the ultimate handers line.

you know, anders's life is (was) about running. he's good at it. he invented new ways to escape for every occasion. he got rid of fereldan templars. he kinda got rid of the wardens. he stayed out of kirkwall templar's sight for years. he could kill people and abandon duties and get away with it because it was what he knew the best.

and then he did something that would shake the world. something that people would demand his head for. before they had demanded it for who he'd been born. and then they got the reason that could not be denied. and he didn't run.

no way that he couldn't. kirkwall was burning and panicking, he could mingle with the crowd and disappear and leave no tracks behind but he didn't. he stayed and he wholeheartedly believed that hawke would kill him.

he was waiting for his coup de grâce. he would rather die by the hand of someone he knew and loved than by the hand of the people he was successfully running from because they hated him and he hated them. more importantly, once he had taken the life of his first love because there had been no hope for him, no salvation.

and he believed there was no hope for him now as well.

(and if hawke doesn't kill him he's so inspired. he's eager to fight because he doesn't want to die. he still has so much to do and now his life is finally completely his, because the first time he doesn't run he's spared. instead of a brand of tranquility or another year of solitary confinement or a knife in the back, he gets to know that there's someone who loves him so much they won't give up on him. they won't become his silent judge and this is the way they save him: not by denying his ideals, not by stopping him from fighting for his cause, but by letting him know there's still hope)

#can all of this happen on a non-romance route? yes and i love that. but i have an odd habit of making everything about handers #on an unrelated note i want to mention that this line of thought happened because i was thinking about my other ship #and they fit this line nicely as well. but it's not that good because there's so much about anders and allowing someone to decide his fate #he was craving freedom all his life! he was fighting against people who were trying to decide for him against his will! #and he was getting away with so much! even all of his suffering in the kinloch would be worse if irving didn't have a soft spot for him! #and then he entrusts his whole life to one person! and he believes they will offer him no mercy! #and all of this because he loves them! because he looks up to them! because they're his one bright light in kirkwall! this is SO SICK #handers #anders #dragon age

[uncanny-tranny]

Small victory in body image: actually depicting myself in a game or anything like it without idealizing things I decided weren't good enough 🪩🪩

#body positivity #i decided to make a blatant self-insert character in a new game save because 1.) it's fun 2.) it's helpful 3.) cringe is good actually #this might seem small but i spent years making characters who represented myself but were the opposite of who i actually am 👍 #and while that isn't my only problem with being body pos/neutral it didn't help to obfuscate things that were ~coincidentally~ 'unsightly' #it's like. does being in a dark room CAUSE depression? no. can it make it worse? yes. that's kind of the analogy i would make #so this is a small step in actually addressing and combating the root cause of everything i was taught to despise about myself and whatnot

[betweenlands]

i think someone needs to lock squiddo and forgelabs in a room to see what kind of entirely new backstabbing gremlin behavior heretofore unthinkable by mankind might pupate out of the resulting scheme

#finally got around to watching the latest squiddo video (yes i know we're late on it. anyway) #and like oh my god . everything i've ever wanted in a chaos gremlin can we PLEASEEEEEE make her even worse #shes going on the d3ceit wishlist alongside vikingpilot (and kiply. but thats besides the point) now #I NEED HER TO KILL AND MAIM. I NEED HER IN EVERY ENVIRONMENT POSSIBLE WHICH ENABLES THIS #there is something deeply haunted within the squit that drives them to depths unfathomable #and i want them to summon cthulhu about it so very much #sighs. anyway sorry for the deranged tags if this becomes visible to the squiddo eye. you know how it is with spaghetti #yt #txt #orig #misc #do i dare maintag this. yeah i feel like forge enjoyers would like the utter chaos of the herobrine hunter #and i feel like squiddo enjoyers might enjoy the wild west that is the scenario smp #squiddo #forgelabs #lifesteal #scenario smp #id tag deceit but its not actually mentioned in the main post body so it gets my scenario sorting tag instead: #dominioners

[autistic-katara]

there r fics that make u insane (so amazingly good it’s removed ur sanity) and then there’s fics that make u insane (you need to fistfight the author for how they did a specific thing that caused u to rant for hours)

#i know i just posted that other thing but ffs that is NOT how u handle someone in that situation everyone involved made everything 10x worse #yet it’s being treated like the right thing to do (which again ofc they’re cops they don’t understand harm reduction but still) like #seriously everything’s so forceful like u seriously think forcing ur friend to talk to u or forcing a patient to talk to a therapist under #the threat of being admitted to a psychiatric hospital is gonna make her feel comfortable talking to u? or anyone? she’s just gonna trust u #less and get better at hiding it and speaking of which the taking away all sharp objects thing makes sense in theory but like think abt it #for a minute she confirmed she isn’t suicidal and this is her only way of coping so do not just forcibly take away all her coping mechanism #like yes she is hurting herself but it’s a COPING MECHANISM. she’s coping with something. help her with that don’t just take away her penci #sharpers or whatever (which btw since she’s an adult she could easily buy more stuff and yk learn to hide it better) which again has to be #voluntary it isn’t gonna work if u force someone to do smthn they don’t want to like as ur friend u could’ve made it clear u care abt her #and wouldn’t judge her for anything and r here if she wants to talk don’t just say “you have to talk to me” and casually threaten #hospitalisation when she isn’t ready in the moment like seriously if this wasn’t a badly written fanfic she would completely stop trusting #bcz given that this wasn’t even done out of panic i would like ffs u are NOT doing any of this right #oops sorry ranted abt the bad fic in my tags- #it’s not where the author’ll see it and know it’s about them i don’t feel bad abt it #this was my first time even looking at stuff for this fandom so #cw self harm in tags #idk if i need to tag anything else for that 😭 #fanfic #ao3 #ryan shut the fuck up

[evol-astraea]

I guess DE decided my Tenno hasn't been paying enough bills, over the years. So the lights in the Orbiter are off now.

(New lighting on the Orbiter sucks if you're playing on a potato like me...)

#warframe #yes thank you update is great and everything #but why do you have to keep making the game look objectively WORSE for us broke Tenno ;.; #no I'm sorry turning on all the new fancy things would send my PC into self-combustion mode

[new-haven-psych-ward]

so I realized the main four geats riders could all be tracked to the four stages of grief and the lamentation arc went hard so:

#kamen rider geats #psych scribbles #yeah so originally i was just drawing everyone at their lowest moment #slash when the opposite (emotion-wise) of their wishes seemed to manifest #and then i realized it was all lamentation arc #which yknow tracks #could i have chosen a different keiwa death? #yeah but i never claimed to be smart and the bubbles are aesthetic #plus if i did his first elimination id want him in his rider suit and i wasnt gonna put myself through that #also i originally had michinaga post-fight with the producer #but then i realized a) the piece was mid #and b) everything else was from lamentation arc so might as well try for cohesion #technically i couldve drawn him with jyamato!toru #but tbh the man's been through worse? #like michinaga's breaking point was pre-series that's why he's making Choices rn #also yes ofc i wrote out all of ace's wishes and then corrupted them to the point their illegible #why would i do anything else #anyways this interestingly means everyone is suffering while buffa is thriving so there's that

[li-esonthefloor]

NO BUT REALLY where the fuck is julius. do you know how hard it is for me to whump ludger during the game's events and i'm stopped by the part where julius has every reason and motivation to be present and just ISN'T??? (even chronos chasing him for like four waymarker chapters and another exodus attack doesn't make sense for chronos) i know julius' character profile in the encyclopaedia implies he just couldn't bring himself to face ludger and answer but its just that the entire game is structured around not letting these two talk to each other or else the entire plot would fall apart and i just [bloody stick figure biting] how am i supposed to write ludger suffering without julius when it doesn't even make sense to me that julius would have zero contact with ludger.

*lies down* i love x2 very much but there's a reason why a grand total of none of my finished fic ideas happen during canon 😂

anyway maybe that jogs your memory of what you were thinking cheers

😂😂😂 ok i think i wondered about. maybe him doing some of his hiding in some fds on and off, for various purposes not necessarily limited to avoiding the cops (and his little brother) (should those be switched? 'his little brother (and the cops)'?). they could have had something useful for him in theory. idk how plausible that is since all the fd information should have gone straight through spirius, but also the man is very tech-savvy so who knows maybe he built a backdoor so he gets heads up when fds pop up or whatever that might not necessarily be canon speculation, it may be some kind of subplot in an au or something LOOOL i really dont remember....

#IT'S A REALLY GOOD QUESTION WHERE TF WERE YOU MY DUDE #i guess the best thing for him to do at that point aside from the guilt and whatever really would be to stay away from ludger since. #gestures at their dual wanted posters #didnt wanna make that situation even worse #but so little contact really was. unnecessary 😂 #you have an untrackable cell phone my dude #and a little brother who REAAAAALLY wants to talk to- ah yes i see the problem #i think i ASSUMED that he had something actually useful to do. somewhere. somehow #though if that's not in fds then idk wtf that would be #because everything trial-related is at spirius............................ #maybe he went to the beach and sunbathed #maybe he went bar hopping and played poker the whole time #maybe he found a sugar mama who didnt keep up with the news and lounged around her house for a while #maybe he.... im running out of stupid ideas #tox2 tag #v #reply #i think the realest answer is he literally just sat somewhere and stalked ludger on his phone without blinking day in day out

[symbioticsimplicity]

This one is less fun and cute, time to suffer.

Steve and Eddie switch off houses for their hang out time. Eddie wasn't sure why at first, clearly Steve's house was nicer and had everything but Steve seemed to legitimately enjoy spending time in his little trailer home. He eventually just accepted it.

It took months for him to realize every time he went over to Steve's, there was no one else home.

Until one day, there was.

It was a few months into he and Steve having gotten their shit together and starting to date (thank you nosy kids). They were cuddled up on the sofa alternating between actually watching the movie they had on and trading long gentle kisses when the front door opened.

There was no way they were going to be able to move far enough away from each other fast enough.

Steve's entire body went rigged and his eyes flattened the way they did when he was about to fight something he knew he had little to no chance of winning against. Eddie hated that look. He'd only seen it twice and he hated it.

Steve didn’t try to move, he just squeezed Eddie's shoulder and took a deep breath. Eddie wanted to squeeze him back but Steve's Dad was rounding the corner.

There were three seconds of peace as he processed what he was seeing before all hell broke loose.

Eddie was no stranger to homophobic slurs, but the things that came out of Mr. Harrington's mouth were far worse than what he'd grown used to. Most of them were personal digs at Steve, about how much of a failure he was and how he couldn't do even the smallest thing right, how he'd be disgracing their family and failing to carry on their name.

To Eddie's surprise, Steve mostly just took the verbal assault like he was used to it. And that made Eddie see red.

He moved like he was going to stand up and that drew Mr. Harrington's attention his way. The barbs turned to a rant about how beneath them he was and how little respect Steve was showing himself by being with him. All things Eddie had heard about himself before.

But that was when Steve lost his calm.

He'd been silent and motionless up until that point, but within seconds was on his feet, in front of Eddie, as defensive as he'd ever seen him. This was the Steve that carried a nailbat as if it were an extension of himself. The Steve that had bitten the head off a demobat for lack of that weapon.

His voice was calm and it was level but there was fire behind it. A fire Mr. Harrington had clearly never encountered before. As sad as he was to see this happening, Eddie was also incredibly proud of Steve.

The older man faltered for a second before changing tactics.

He threw a punch that hit Steve square in the nose.

Eddie was on his feet by now, and caught Steve when he staggered backward. But Steve had also spent several years building up a frankly alarming tolerance for head injuries.

He checked his nose for blood, and at finding none, told his father point blank that he'd been hit harder by Nancy Wheeler.

It wasn't the time to laugh so Eddie didn't but he wanted to kiss Steve so badly it was a little painful.

Mr. Harrington demanded they leave his home and Steve to Eddie's surprise refused. He'd expected they'd go back to his trailer, and maybe hunker down there for a few days until Mr. Harrington inevitably left again.

But Steve was standing his ground.

His Father seemed equally shocked but recovered enough to threaten to call the cops. Steve replied with "And tell them what? So far you've assaulted me, and you've been guilty of criminal child neglect for literally years. If you call them, Hopper will be hauling your ass to jail, not either of us."

His Father was so flabbergasted he flapped his mouth open a few times before he glanced over at Eddie and decided he was his in. He popped off about having him arrested for trespassing.

Steve laughed.

He proceeded to explain to his Father that he and Eddie have been spending time together for months and that literally everyone but him already knows that. The cops would laugh in his face the same way Steve had.

His Father was now red in the face and shaking with rage. Steve had never looked more angry, but he was smiling and Eddie for the first time spoke up.

He said the obvious. That Mr. Harrington could just go back to wherever the fuck it was he'd rather be than home.

The man looked at him with such venom it would have cowed someone who hadn’t built their identity around pissing off authority figures. Eddie linked his pinkie with Steve's.

Without another word, Mr. Harrington did just that, slamming the door so hard something fell off the wall and shattered across the floor. Steve flinched at the sound.

They waited until they heard tires peeling out of the driveway before either of them relaxed.

The first thing Eddie did was make sure Steve was alright, both physically and emotionally. Steve assured him that this was nowhere near the worst knocking his head had taken, and that emotionally he actually kind of felt better if anything.

He'd never stood up to his Father before. Never even thought to dream that he could. But after everything else he'd done in his life that he'd never thought he could do, it just felt natural. He wouldn’t let anyone hurt Eddie, after all. Not even the Father he'd been terrified of his entire life.

Eddie had kissed him breathless after that, just to make sure the good mood stuck.

#steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #this ended up much longer than intended #am i projecting? #yes #should Steve get to fight his abusive Dad the same way he's fought everything else? #also yes #I just like the idea of Steve having changed so much that something that would have given him a heartattack before #is now much easier because hes had worse hes survived far worse #and he learned how strong he can truly be from all of it #also Steve would fight God himself to defend someone he loves #Eddie not fully making the connection of how metal his boyfriend ACTUALLY is under the preppy exterior #until he sees him go into battle mode with an authority figure #over him no less #he would have helped but Steve had it

[cilantrospirit]

idk why everyone worries about the IRS hunting them down when these stupid motherfuckers take several days to respond to anything. hello?? I'm trying to give you my money? the thing you want?

#as you can probably tell. I am tired of refreshing my email ON THE 15TH like this couldn't have been done with on saturday #hi yes I have residence in one state and another address in another state. this is very common among people I know #yes my employer pays me at the address I live at while doing this job. duh #yes my ID has the address of the state I live in 60-70% of the time on it. is this not also normal. I have so much paperwork. I am one guy #it's not even complicated I just don't want to have them mail something important to the wrong address bc girl!! #anyway not bringing my laptop to fly over the ocean was apparently a mistake and I should have given myself weeks to do something #that has historically taken 40 minutes. Sad! #obviously I'm being bitchy about this because I'm genuinely stressed and obviously the people fielding these issues are overworked #but none of that should be my fault #I feel like the world's Most Documented bitch sometimes and it makes everything worse and not better somehow #meanwhile if I were the roommate who paid Any utility bill besides garbage this would also be a nonissue. pro tip? #cilantro's life

[statementlou]

tumblr is telling us they are going to get rid of the following only chronological feed and much as it fills me with despair, I believe them so, serious question- where would we go? twitter is broken (in more ways than one), instagram is useless because of the algorithm and there's no conversation or discussion, threads is evil in ways that can actually negatively impact your offline life and EU pals can't even use it, facebook is useless because algorithm AND evil, reddit just made themselves obsolete... Can we do fandom stuff on one of the newer twitter knockoff sites? I have a pillowfort account but it's set up to mimic something more like dreamwidth than tumblr or twitter, I don't like it, it's all little groups... I hate this. What comes next?

#reply reblog with comments whatever I invite you to #I have now seen tumblr's halfassed addition: I'm glad theyre on the back foot and maybe will think twice #but also it doesn't actually address the things they definitely DID say they would do and that people are callign them on #that would mean the following only and you see everything feed was not that #there are like a million different good add ons to the linked post calling out and getting into different parts #of what they are saying... I recommend going into notes comments #I know we're supposed to be like oh I'm here all the time but I hate it obviously I'd rather be doing somethign else #but actually I love it here! I hate that they keep making it worse but it's a huge part of my life anyway #and my escape from a lot of things and the way I connect to things (yes Louis mostly :)) that make me happy #and I don't want it to just not be useable and to lose that

[dying-suffering-french-stalkers]

now that i finally have dates and somewhat more official permission from my work to try and visit my brother in japan, my face is melting off raiders of the lost ark-style as i look at the prices

#jesus h. geronimo christ #on the one hand: it would be cool to go now while my brother is still living there and he knows all the cool places #on the OTHER hand: the dates are now VERY close which is making the prices so much worse #so do i just commit to being truly unholy amounts for what will hopefully be a cool trip after All That #or do i just say “fuck it” and hope that my brother and i can go together in the future with different arrangements? #μέν the “fuck it nvm let's try again later” option is looking more and more tempting/practical #δέ am i going to kick myself forever for putting off something i've wanted to do for years #i can certainly plan more around my desires in a future trip but. grrrrrrrr #i finally talked myself into this and now everything is conspiring to make me talk myself back out #personal #yes i said the same thing like 3 different ways here dwbi. processing via tunglr tags. #*PAYING not being. sigh

[carlsdraws]

asoiaf self insert fanfiction is so weird why do u people keep trying to introduce gunpowder and modern warfare to westeros

#IT WOULD MAKE EVERYTHING SO MUCH WORSE?????? #any other fandom it’s like #yay i get to be in this world and hang with my besties and kiss someone and save the world ! isn’t it horrifying getting isekaid anyways #and asoiaf ones are like i’m a genius inventor who will single handedly induce an industrial revolution yes i have that knowledge all in my #head and can put this into practice EASILY while engaging in 7d chess psychological warfare with my blorbos #it’s WILD #can’t u just hang out #i promise ur self inserts not remembering exactly how to recreate a printing press in fantasy medieval land

[running-in-the-dark]

I'm just sitting here mentally telling myself 'I don't have to like him just because I find him attractive, I don't have to like him just because he's hot, I don't have to like him just because I like the character' over and over until I start to believe it

#every single time I love a character I also start to love the actor. sometimes that sucks. I don't want to. I want to pretend he doesn't #exist #but he's got the same face and the same body and the same voice and I just. how do I not do this. #I don't like him. I don't want to like him. he's at the very least kinda gross about women. which I'm not okay with. so. just. ugggh #it's just that I look at him and my mind shuts off and it's like 😍🥰😍 #rationally I know that's also fine. I'm allowed to like people who aren't perfect (and no one is perfect anyway) #buuut. it makes me feel disgusting. #idk. I guess I just. i dealt with this for so long when I was younger because like. most of the men I thought were hot were also #misogynistic. because the culture at the time was so much worse. and it was just accepted. #and I fucking hated it and I don't want to deal with that anymore #it's just. idk. it feels gross and bad and I don't like it #but. I do find him extremely attractive and I want him so so bad and I don't know what to do with that #ugh I need to just. not be attracted to people. it happens so rarely but when it does it only causes trouble. #or maybe I need to get over these weird morality standards that I have but I don't think that's possible? like how would that work? I don't #get it. #anyway. yes this is about Eliot/CK no I won't elaborate on that and also I hope he's actually a great guy and everything I've seen #that made me think otherwise is just wrong #I will still stare at his face and think about him and listen to his stupid gross music all day. and I will enjoy it. but I will also #feel conflicted about it 😔 #(but damn it he is hot and his arms are big and I am just a human being and I am very very weak 😫 big arms make me fucking stupid)