#writing for this made me so hungry

[brighteststar707]

Fic request for Jumin and White Chocolate for @altaluneslair!

the direction I'd like it to go in is having a date with him for the whole day in cheap and commoner places without travelling by his car~ So, the date may go: travelling by public transport, eating street foods in the market, playing in arcade game center, dining in small gopchang restaurant, attaching love padlocks in Namsan Tower, just strolling around somewhere, or etc.

I'll be honest, I spent a long time watching Seoul vlogs and reading travel pages to write this fic 😅 I tried to get the details and setting right but my skills are limited by the fact that I've never visited Seoul or done any of these things.

That being said, I like how this fic turned out. It's nothing like anything else I've written for Jumin and it was a lot of fun to research and write. I hope you enjoy!

✧ White Chocolate ~ Going on a Date

Jumin and his wife stand side-by-side at a subway station, looking for all the world like any other commuters. Since they arrived at their station, she has been talking to him excitedly about how well-connected they are, that her commute used to be so much longer before she moved into the penthouse. Jumin listens to her talking, content for any information she gives him about her life before. The idea of doing this several times a day is something he can’t imagine. Sometimes, he forgets how different her life used to be, how much has changed for her since marrying him.

The idea for today’s date had started as a simple conversation over dinner just this week. He had stayed back at the office later than usual, so to make it up to her he called in the chef to make them a nice dinner to share when he got home. Over dinner, after talking about their day, their discussion had moved to weekend plans.

“How do you feel about visiting the vineyard? The weather is supposed to be lovely this weekend, we can just relax."

She had nodded slowly, as if in a daze, then her face broke into a good-natured laugh. He looked at her, perplexed.

“Sorry, that sounds wonderful! I didn’t mean to laugh, it’s just that hearing that out loud… it’s still a little bit surreal. Going to the vineyard for the weekend as if it was as easy as crossing town.”

“Probably easier, we wouldn’t have to deal with traffic,” Jumin replies.

“Thank goodness for the plane.”

“So, what would you have us do on our day off?”

“Well, I used to keep a list on my phone of places to go and things to do when I had time off in the city. I haven’t gone through it in a while, but I’d probably have picked some things from there?”

He tilts his head to the side inquisitively. “Like what?”

“Oh, things like trying out new food stalls at the market or playing in the arcade.”

That was what got his attention. He always found himself fascinated by things so common to the everyday person.

“Well, why don’t we do some things from your list? The vineyard can wait until next week.”

And just like that, the idea for their ‘commoner date’ was born. She managed to get him to agree that they’d go out like she used to before, no personal driver, no security team following them (though just a call away and monitoring their locations at all times), no fancy restaurants or exclusive events. She instead took the time to plan out a full day of activities she would have done on a date if she weren’t married to Jumin Han.

Jumin, of course, wasn’t allowed to know about any of them until the day of their date itself.

The subway arrives right on time, and he follows her close behind as they step on. They find a single free seat, and  Jumin automatically stands aside to offer it to her, but she hesitates.

“I admire your chivalry, love, but are you sure you don’t want to sit?”

“Of course I am.”

She doesn’t look convinced.

“Are you doubting my ability to stand?”

“Of course not! If you’re sure, then I’ll take it, thank you.”

She sits down and watches as he stands resolutely in front of her and holds on to the bar (after just a second's hesitation at the idea of the germs). It’s not a bad sight. She convinced him to swap out his usual suits for something more casual and comfortable, so today he’s dressed in black simple trousers and a linen white shirt. His hair is less styled than usual and is floppy and soft over his head instead of combed neatly.

Perhaps she was wrong to worry. He’ll be fine.  

The subway doors shut and it pulls out of the station. The people have crowded closer around each other, and Jumin stands stiffly. The momentum of the train moving makes him wobble dangerously and he receives some dirty looks from the passengers around him.

 “Jumin, I’ll ask you one more time.”

“…Perhaps I should take the seat.”

She slips out of the seat and he sinks into it ungracefully. She stands up opposite him, holding on to the bar a lot more steadily than Jumin was a minute ago. He huffs at the sweet smile she flashes him.

She keeps a mental note of the stops they’re passing and her eyes linger Jumin as he people watches. He has spent so much of his life kept at a distance from people, and she has noticed that he enjoys any opportunity he gets to watch people going about their lives. It’s one of the reasons he likes the charity parties so much, for the wide variety of people he gets to meet.

Finally, they reach their stop and join the crowd of people stepping out and onto the platform.

“So, are you going to tell me what you have planned yet?”

“Well, first of all, I thought I’d bring you out for some of my favourite street food. We can't spend a day out without lunch.”

The entrance to the market is only a few minutes away from the subway exit (and Jumin is starting to understand her earlier excitement at their central location). Entering the market feels like entering another world. Garlands are strung from the ceiling, and the walls are lined with food stalls. It’s almost overwhelming, but he can’t stop looking around.  

Of course, he has known about the food markets in the city for a long time, heard his employees talking about them between themselves and even recommended them to clients looking to experience the city. However, he has never had the chance (or reason) to visit one himself.

It's full of people: groups of friends chattering while in line for food, people clustered around tables and conversing with the salespeople. She doesn’t let go of his hand as she leads him down the line of food stalls and stops at a specific one.

“Oh, Jumin, you have to try this!”

It’s a pancake, by the looks of it, fried in oil. She orders them one each and bring them to the table by the stall. He sits down next to her and she pushes the little aluminium dish towards him to taste.

He takes a hesitant bite and tries to ignore her gaze on him as she waits for his reaction. He concentrates on the pancake instead. It’s crispy and flavourful, and probably has got more oil in it than anything he has eaten recently. It’s delicious, and he tells her as much.

She smiles, satisfied, and starts eating her own pancake. They chat, and he asks her about visiting the market and her favourite foods. As he listens to her speak, he slowly grows less conscious of all the people surrounding him. He isn’t used to being alone – without security – in crowds like this. But despite his face being plastered on magazines and tabloids frequently, it seems like nobody here has recognized him. He even starts to relax a little bit. Clearly, nobody is expecting to see Jumin Han and his wife in the middle of a busy food market in the city.

When they both finish, they get up from the table and keep walking around the market. They stop at one more stall for drinks and keep walking, cups in hand.  

When they leave the market, Jumin is full and content, even excited for their next activity.

“So,” he says, “Are we taking another subway?”

“Nope! This time we’re taking a little walk to our destination.”

And so they do. Hand in hand, they walk down the street. Jumin likes the anonymity being in a crowd of people lends him, likes the security that her hand gives him at the same time.  

His first reaction at the arcade is a sort of shock. It’s dark, full of neon colours and loud noises coming from the machines. It’s overwhelming, to say the least.

They linger in the middle as she surveys the array of games she has to choose from. Jumin stands close to her, eyeing the machines warily. They’re loud and bright, and he isn’t sure what to make of them. Sure, he plays video games at home sometimes (a secret that’s well-kept from the RFA members), but surely this is different. For one thing, his games are not this loud.  

She spots a machine, and as Jumin follows her gaze, he starts to laugh. It’s a car racing game, complete with a steering wheel and gears. He knows what she’s thinking without her having to say anything.

“Come here, Jumin, I want to test out something.”

She ushers him over to the seat, instructs him to get ready to race, and puts a coin in the slot. He sets off, jerking the wheel back and forth with more force than she'd expect from such a machine. She stands behind him so she can watch the screen and cheer him on. For a second, it looks like he’s doing pretty well. That is, before the car slams into the barriers and he gets overtaken by the rest of the racers.  

Jumin doesn’t even wince.

“You’re going too fast to control the car, slow down!”

“The objective of a race is to be the fastest.”

“Yes, but you cannot be the fastest if you keep getting stuck.”

He finishes the race in last place, and she is reminded once again to never let him behind the wheel of a car.

From there, they move on to a few rounds of air hockey (which she ends up winning, despite his best efforts), then a round each on a platformer game (where Jumin actually gets a high score). On their way out, Jumin gets distracted by a little soft toy in one of the claw machines that looks a lot like Elizabeth the Third and insists on trying to win her.

After going through half of their coins, she decides to take over and try her luck. Jumin hovers over her shoulder, giving her instructions and encouragement. After going through nearly the rest of the coins, she gets lucky and catches the little cat toy. She takes it out of the slot and presents it to him like it’s an expensive piece of jewellery.

He holds it gently in his hands, admiring the little toy.

“We’ve freed you now, don’t worry. Just wait until you meet Elizabeth. She’ll love you.”

When they finally leave the arcade, his ears are ringing and the light outside feels too bright. He isn’t sure how Yoosung and Seven manage to visit so often without getting headaches, but he has started to see the appeal of the occasional visit.

He looks to his wife, who is looking out at the street expectantly. He still has no idea what she has planned for the rest of their day. Before he can ask her what she’s looking for, a taxi pulls up to the pavement and she walks towards it to say something to the driver.

“This is for us, Jumin, get in!” She must have ordered the cab when he was busy at the claw machine.

“Isn’t this cheating?” He asks after slipping into the backseat.

“Well, let’s call it a grey area. It’s getting close to rush hour and I don’t think that’s an experience you’re missing out on.”

He agrees.

She refuses to tell him where they’re going next, so he can only guess by trying to identify the streets they’re passing. Luckily for him, their next destination is one he recognizes.

They step out of the taxi and find themselves at the Namsan Tower cable car station. This is another city landmark he has often recommended to business partners, and one he often hears about from others.

He already knows he’s going to like this part of their date. They buy their tickets and wait for their turn to board (he prefers this to the subway). Once they've boarded their cabin, he holds onto one of the railings and she wraps her arms around him for support. He puts his arm over her shoulders and holds her close as they watch the city grow smaller and smaller from the windows.

It's definitely better than the subway.

The sun has started to set by the time they reach one of the viewing platforms. The city stretches out beneath them, but the view is different to the kind Jumin sees from his office. At work, it sometimes feels like he can reach out and touch the city with his fingertips. Even worse, sometimes it feels like the city below is reaching up for him to pull him down to them. As much as he loves his job, the people it sometimes brings to him are the kind who would do anything for a taste of his world. They both know that better than others.

From over here though, he feels untouchable. It’s calming, to have it at a distance for once, instead of being in its centre.  

“I have one more surprise for you, Darling.”

She wriggles free from his arms and starts rooting through her bag. She finally pulls out a padlock. It has their initials engraved on it, and under it a small inscription.

He takes it from her hands and examines it carefully.

“You had this made?”

“I had it engraved for us on short notice. I thought we could do one better than the ones the souvenir shop offers.”

He chuckles. "It's perfect."

They take their time looking for the perfect place to hang it. Walking around the perimeter of the viewing platform, stopping to admire the view as the sun slowly sets, then finally settling on a place.

It’s on the outside of a railing, on top of layers of other locks (a hundred other promises that were made before them) that they choose to fix theirs. They close it together, hands over hands, and then take a second to admire it.

The sun has almost set, but in the soft light, they can still make out the little engraved inscription.

Dedicated to old sunsets and new experiences, I'd follow you anywhere

#They got fried chicken and beer for dinner #just trust me on this one #writing for this made me so hungry #I want to visit Gwangjang market NOW #300 follower event #mystic messenger #mystic messenger jumin #mystic messenger jumin han #mysme jumin #mysme jumin han #my writing

[inkskinned]

at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"

like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.

"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."

... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.

and i'd still keep writing.

i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.

i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley

"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"

and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.

it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.

you create because you're greedy.

#every time someones like ''AI will replace u" im like. u will have to fucking KILL ME #there is no replacement here bc i am not filling a position. i am just writing #and the writing is what i need to be doing #writeblr #this probably doesn't make sense bc its sooo frustrating i rarely speak it the way i want to #edited for the typo wrote it and then was late to a meeting lol #i love u people who mention my typos genuinely bc i don't always catch them!!!! :) it is doing me a genuine favor!!! #my friend says i should tell you ''thank you beta editors'' but i don't know what that means #i made her promise it isn't a wolf fanfiction thing. so if it IS a wolf thing she is DEAD to me (just kidding i love her) #hey PS PS PS ??? if ur reading this thinking what it's saying is ''i am financially capable of losing this'' ur reading it wrong #i write for free. i always have. i have worked 5-7 jobs at once to make ends meet. #i did not grow up with access or money. i did not grow up with connections or like some kind of excuse #i grew up and worked my fucking ASS OFF. and i STILL!!! wrote!!! on the side!!! because i didn't know how not to!!! #i do not write for money!!!! i write because i fuckken NEED TO #i could be in the fucking desert i could be in the fuckken tundra i could be in total darkness #and i would still be writing pretentious angsty poetry about it #im not in any way saying it's a good thing. i'm not in any way implying that they're NOT tryna kill us #i'm saying. you could take away our jobs and we could go hungry and we could suffer #and from that suffering (if i know us) we'd still fuckin make art. #i would LOVE to be able to make money doing this! i never have been able to. but i don't NEED to. i will find a way to make my life work #even if it means being miserable #but i will not give up this thing. for the whole world.

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

I've been thinking about how Vash always seems to be hungry. Or at least, that he's shown eating quite often in the manga. Happily having his salmon sandwiches. Eating an entire box of donuts in the side car. Knowing the conversion rate of bullets to pizza. Seeing a flower and immediately wondering if it's edible. Pondering his life over breakfast. It's a really cute little character detail about him - he likes food.

But then I kind of started to think about the angel arm and its specific brand of destruction. How there were no bodies to be recovered. Nothing but a crater left of July, left on the Fifth Moon. It's all been incinerated. Devoured, even. Tristamp takes it even a step further and makes the power something akin to a black hole - a yawning drain; a constant destructive hunger.

Vash is clearly terrified of this potential for destruction, and for very good reason. But it's not separate from him as some kind of "power he can't control" - it's his arm. It's literally his arm. It is him. Vash is scared of himself, scared of losing control. He does what he can to repress it, even subconsciously (the gaps in his memory whenever it activates). He can't control it in the moment, so he takes steps to preemptively push it down, to avoid the use of his abilities entirely, to hide himself away.

I talked a bit in a previous post about how there are probably several interrelated reasons for Vash's chronically avoidant behaviour, but I'd like to throw one more into the ring and suggest that it's not just a matter of not deserving to want things, but maybe also that he's afraid of wanting. That if he allows himself to even think about what he wants personally that he'll want too much, take too much, and that the only cure in his mind for this is to give and give repeatedly.

I wonder how starved he is for love. Vash loves hard, after all. Once he loves (and I’m not talking about the broad, distant love/compassion he has in general), for better or worse, he carries them around with him forever, long after they've passed. Does he feel like it'd be selfish to admit this kind of want? His love isn't really a passive thing after all - it's the drive at his very core; a mournful inferno he is just barely suppressing. Does he remember how to love in a way that doesn't consume him entirely?

Is that part of the reason he checks out at signs of intimacy? Diverts gifts towards others? Tends to accept kind gestures only when under an assumed name? Intentionally starves himself in Tristamp? Runs and runs and runs? Is he afraid he won't be able to stop hungering? That allowing himself to want means his want will become insatiable?

I just have to wonder how much of his avoidance of connection is being scared that he will cause more destruction (to them? or to him?) by trying to take far too much into his hands than he ever caused by turning his back and running.

...of course I may just be entirely deranged here sorry.

#yeah idk either i wrote this in a haze at 1 am #also i have not yet finished trimax so idk how these kinds of matters are going to be tackled or if i am way off base #if nothing else this kind of reads like one of my guilt spirals and writing it out made me realize how batshit insane i must sound #outside of my own head so if nothing else i guess it was kind of useful for that? #anyways. vash's solution to being hungry all the time is to pretend he isn't hungry for so long he doesn't know what he craves anymore #incredible. #on that note by contrast i'm intrigued by meryl and milly ordering their trademark food and drink with such confidence #also i do love how this fear of a part of himself conflicts so strongly with how incredibly confident he is otherwise #cool character choices you know? #aghhh ok i guess i'll post this before i chicken out. i can always delete it if i hate it after #trigun #trimax #tristamp #vash the stampede #storyrambles

[ragnarokhound]

trick or treat!! 🎃

:D :D :D (I'm glad you've liked the wolf&vamp jaytim so far asjdlfsajfsa your tags bring me JOY):

"Hungry?" Jason asks, and Tim treats him to a withering stare. "Oh, please, no need to bite-- or. Well."

The withering stare graduates to open-faced disgust. Jason grins, wolfish as he slides into Tim's lap, upsetting his laptop and making Tim grunt as he takes Jason's not inconsiderable weight. Tim can handle it; he might look like a waifish Victorian child that Jason could snap in two, it might look to an outsider that Jason has Tim pinned to the couch-- but between the two of them, Tim has the higher bench press.

"Jason, I'm fine." Tim says, strained. He said that yesterday too. "I can go another day at least."

"Come on, babe," Jason murmurs into Tim's ear, angling his head to present the tantalizing curve of his neck. Tim fronts like he's unaffected, doing that still-as-the-grave, corpse thing he does where he stops breathing and blinking and shit; but his nostrils were flaring as Jason leaned in, and Jason's acute hearing picks up the creaking of the bones in his clenched fists. Sometimes Tim needs to be bullied into taking care of himself. Jason is happy to serve.

"Just a taste."

#it's never just a taste :3c #jason gets off on it but tim is afraid of his own bloodlust and lives in fear that one day he'll drain jason dry #in spite of jason's freakish werewolf regeneration powers #meanwhile jason's like 'if i could stuff you full of my blood 24/7 i would' #'i will provide for u babe as long as you're with me you'll never go hungry' #something something i will sustain you with the fever of my body and in so doing we will both be made well #haha anyway #jaytim #ladytauria #my writing #THANK YOU FOR THE ASK OWO #🐺🦇 #ask game #asked and answered

[guqin-and-flute]

Xichen deserves crows feet.

He deserves to smile with teeth and get those eye crusties you sometimes get from sleeping and cry and sleep in and make a privately goofy noise of surprise when his toe catches on a step and he almost faceplants and saves himself at the last minute.

He deserves to be human.

#i once saw a post where someone said something like 'i feel so weird writing about him (some thing like eating or sleeping)!' #because it felt disrespectful to imply he would stoop so low as to need those things #and it made me sad!! cause i could imagine someone in the jianghu saying the same thing #and he deserves to not have to pretend he doesn't get tired or hungry or annoyed :(( #ALSO THIS IS NOT SHITTING ON WHOEVER IT WAS THAT'S TOTALLY VALID AND STUFF I CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER WHO IT WAS BUT ILU 💖 #it's just a thinky thought because of what I've been writing #my stuff #lxc

[cardboardfeet]

start | last

APRIL FOOLS...!!!!....this is a joke ep lmao i hope yall enjoy

Dialouge under cut

Rayne, thinking: ain't no way he called it that.

Finn: s-so...

Rayne, thinking: OMFG. he did. wtf. augh.

Rayne: sounds like a confession

Finn: DA FUCK?!?!

[Rayne chews his snack. Finn worries. Rayne is amused]

-

Rayne: Y'know, I got a confession from the light divisionary once.

Finn, internally, very loudly: HUH.

Finn, internally: RYOH GRANTS????

Finn: SOURCE?

Rayne: trust me bro.

-

Finn, internally: RAYNE?? RYOH GRANTS confessed??? Isn't he super rich and famous? why's Rayne still here and not in some penthouse?? Is he just here to-

Rayne: It was...for murder...

Finn, a Penguin in shock: what.

Rayne: I didn't tell-

[Finn, mid jump to curbstomp Rayne]

Rayne: wait- waIT CALM DOWN

-

Finn, internally, breath of relief: Whew! I thought he'd drag me into one of his schemes, and I'd be complicant into another crime... never again.

Finn: now...

Finn, staring at Rayne's passed out body: What do I do with this?

#flour and reunions #mashle #my art #rayne ames #finn ames #will write script l8r just wanna post this in time for the jester day hsjgsc <3 #i drew the firts panel as a joke . and freaks out last night nd today sk like. bonus three lmao. im planning a binus bonus ine w mash #helpiNg finn hide the body HSJCSVK #god i.m. so hungry. i could eat a man #ITS SO FUNNY TO ME......WHAT IF THE MOST POPULAR GUY IN THE COUNTRY AND UR BROTHER KILLED A GUY TOGETHER.... #personally i think finn stumbled upon smth rayne was doin when they was young and had to bail them both out. multiple times. it switches #skmetiems nd rayne ends up bailing them out but it would be silly if thay added to his younger hims desire for 'normalcy' (me too dude 💀💀) #anyways. ENJOY. HAPPY JOKE DAY #reading this again its so incoherent. love that. u can tell it was made in 28 hrs #edit: dialouge added!

[youngpettyqueen]

sometimes you need to be filled with righteous rage and anger and take a couple hours to calm down and think rationally and realize you are hangry and overstimulated and it was never that deep

#me once I started thinking rationally: ok why am I so angry and upset #me: ...oh my god I didnt eat lunch #the lesson here kids is to be very careful to not forget meals #it doesnt not happen to me very often im very careful about it #but the time I got off work + having to go do stuff right after made for a wicked combo and I completely forgot to eat #that and being overstimulated. bad bad combo deadly combo #anyways ive eaten and had quiet time and the very mild situation I was furious with is resolved #so #im all good now #time to write fic #I do mean this post sincerely btw #sometimes you need to realize the thing youre mad about isnt what youre really mad about #sometimes youre just hungry and you dont realize it #and thats ok!

[thewinedarksea]

dnd characters: ori

ori entered emporia on a flood of river water. she left it on a flood of light. but we're getting ahead of ourselves—the river water came first, and it came fast and frothed with prayer beads and bits of kindling, rushing into the wellspring at the center of the city. she had been all of ten (or maybe eight), wrapped in the mainsail of a wreck gone down off the coast of calimshan and quietly dark-eyed. when the god of the lanterns plucked her from the pool she had fisted one small hand into the front of his coat until the fabric would never be the same and refused to let go. the flames he cast had flickered in her eyes long after she’d looked away.

he had taken her home with him.

#hello everyone this is my new and most precious girl #i have homebrewed everything about her including class (the lantern-bearer #a class specific to emporia [also made up by me] and an unholy combo of three base classes) and gods (names redacted until after revealed in #gameplay) and patron god (the god of lanterns. the god-gatherer god-guarder the hungry grasping shopkeeper at the center of emporia that #traps everyone inside and refuses to let them leave and that ori stole and fled from) #which is to say this is a one-shot :p #anywayssss im very excited anna is dming and our party comp is Legendary we are going to Destroy we are going to make So Many Memes #we play this saturday and im vibrating as we speak #also ori is short for oriana she just doesnt go by it for whatever reason. #yes her name is in the city no i didnt mean to do that #i have 1.3k of write-up for her and emporia that i cant share and it's Killing Me #also she has six gods (she stole seven but she placed one out) and that is why the pinterest board has interesting and random choices someti #mes lol #* #my ocs #dnd #mine

[cherryview]

!!!!

#i want to write this here… i am not a religious person… but after i had just moved and when i was depressed…which I was often then #less so these days… #i drove myself to get ice cream and i prayed along the way that i had made the right decision #to move out and start a new life and find this job #and i cried for a long while which i also seemed to do a lot then #and while i was driving back home i prayed… and i think i pray just in case someone is listening … just so they can’t say i never tried #at least someone might be listening to me #i asked god if they could show me a deer… which is a really stupid sign to ask for because i had never seen a deer close up #and i knew in my mind that i didn’t mean some vague outline of a deer on the horizon or some painting of a deer #and i don’t know why i asked for a deer at all #but i did and i had just gotten my license two months prior for this job… and i was driving on a street that was without anyone else… #which was really unusual for this tourist town in the summer but i was crying and driving and praying and it was dusk #and a deer wandered into the road…. just feet within me… and i wasn’t scared… i slowed down and I’m not sure how much time passed #but i cried and looked and wondered if i was so mentally ill i was hallucinating before the deer hobbled off to the field #and even if it’s stupid and highly conincidental… it made me feel better… and i think god is more of a whisper of hope that things will #change… and as the winter grows long… i am hungry for another sign that i am okay #i miss how simple life could be and I miss you

[loxare]

Every single year at the worst fucking moment the brain weevils attack and make doing anything besides the most mind numbing activities super impossible. My brain feels itchy, and I don't think I should be physically aware of it but I am. I'd really like to be able to write all these lab reports, but doing so is like trying to walk through the 1919 Boston Molasses Flood, and I keep making two and a half steps of progress before having to pull my feet from the sludge so I can sit on a ledge to rest and also try and beat the flies buzzing around my head back with a newspaper

#Loxie has words #is progress being made? yes. Slowly #this is a <1500 word report I should be able to knock it out in an hour or two #and yet here I am all fucking day #It's due tonight though so I'm going to have to get through this discussion section at some point #at least I have all this horrible spite to get me through the references section #which won't be super long anyways #Also getting hungry which doesn't help #Tomorrow I think I shall go for a stupid walk for my stupid mental health #get some sun #should I get medicated for my undiagnosed probably depression? yes #will I? idk. Probably. I'll ask around after exams to find out how that's done #my school has therapists or something. Mental health support things. They'll know #Am I writing this while on my molasses ledge? yeah but also writing this means I will be on this ledge a little longer #uuuggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh #Going for walkies used to keep the brain weevils away but I went for a walkies today! It only helped for like 20 minutes! #uni

[apricusapollo]

I finally finished fucking writing 5th chapter of paper rings what the fucking fuck was writing this fucking chapter I'm fucking exhausted

#crys writes #fic: paper rings #i am very exhausted #been writing that shit for over a week already #made me hate the fic fr #i'm gonna post it later (??) maybe (??) #and then fuck off and not touch PR for a while #i need a BREAK #Maybe i'll work on white collar au in meanwhile hmhmmmm #anywayyy i'm so hungry

[du-hjarta-skulblaka]

Finished an LP of Disco Elysium and now im having Thoughts about my oc verse again

Mainly everything to do with the Pale and how I want my thing to lean into that

#im honestly leaning into straight up calling it the paling #and have a side effect of exposure be. literally colour drains out of the world along with feeling everything desaturates a little #basicslly i just want to write about this fuckin extra planar antimatter thats like #if you put the pale the void the fade the upside down and the concept of cosmic horror into a blender and then made it radioactive #is it origional? god no. compels me tho #also i just really latched on to this idea of alot of those kinda concepts #yknow eldritch parralel dimension of unimaginable horrors #do sort of have this naming convention of....loss. absense. draining. #want to write about this force thats so hungry for the essence of a living world that it starts draining all the colour out of it #colour also beimg connected to emotion ofc in the vein of The Void #thats The Void the game not The Void the concept from Warcraft #alsthough that isnalso relevant. are ylu taking notes you should be taking notes #sfhshsh anyway yeah #im very frustrated lately bc i feel like im decent at world building and chstacterisation and such #but have zero ability to string it into a godamn story

[hobismilitarywife]

.

#//ramble #i am shocked that there are still people out there proclaiming bh to be the best #i wish some armies would stop acting like bh is the best company ever #because it was very clear from their dinner party video that they were made to do things which they didn’t want to (*cough cough* songs like #ptd for grammys *cough cough*) and even when namjoon said that they’ll be exploring their individual sides now #jk’s ‘finally it took so long’ made me feel like this is something that they’ve wanted for a long long time or you know at least since on #because that they said on air #so yeah let’s stop acting like bh isn’t like every other company who force their choices on their artists to get the maximum 💵 out of #them #they’re as money hungry as the other companies if not more #joon and yoongi’s we felt like machines while writing the lyrics #and jimin’s i wish we could share everything with our fans our reasons etc but we can’t #makes me feel very sus towards their management

[capesandshapes]

I honestly wish I could be more helpful with writing things but my career is really really weird and I've kinda just fallen into it by dumb luck and an all consuming hatred for jk Rowling

#in case you didnt know my origin story #back when i first queried jkrowling made THE TERF POST TO END ALL TERF POSTS and wizard novels were essentially kryptonite to publishing #and i wrote a witch romance and was shopping it around and getting nowhere until my now agent stopped me and told me it wouldnt get picked #not that year because jk rowling had lost her shit that year #but he was like you have a good style and im impressed with how fast you wrote this do you write smut #and I was a young and stupid library worker and said yes i write smut #and so my whole life came together like that and i ended up making more money self pubbing my novels and working on the back end ghosting #and now i will never be hungry

[heyhotbitchrs]

i'm not sorry to say this but if i fucking say 'don't touch me, leave me alone' and you keep fucking hugging me and moving my fucking face to look at you i actually want to fucking murder you. mom.

#i'm so upset tonight #and the one thing i was fixating on was a piece of cake that i've wanted for like five hours but i can't have it because it's too early/lat #/dinners on #and i'm fixated on it i'm so upset and i want this one bit of comforting food and i'm still hungry and i've been hysterically crying for #probably an hour and i just want it so bad and i'm still fucking hungry but i can't have it because mom was fucking waiting for me outside #the bathroom after i explicitly fucking said leave me alone #and now i know if i go get it she'll hear or something and come and fucking confront me and touch me and fucking TAKE it when i just want #this one thing and i'm hungry and shell say some shit about how she doesn't want food to be 'a thing' WHEN IT WAS NEVER A THING UNTIL SHE #MADE IT ONE #and it's so so shitty i'm so mad #and honestly i hate spending time with will he's a fucking dick and he makes me feel shitty about myslef when im trying so hard but #i have two classes with him and im so fucking lonely and desperate for friends and i can't just cut him off but it makes me so mad #like im fucking fighting academically and im proud of my grades and when i tell him i have an 85 in latin he goes 'howd you let it get that #bad' and i literally wanted to fucking kill him #'proabably because of my 99 in latin' like STFU he's so fucking pretentious and he talks constantly and i don't fucking care about his weir #brother or his stupid fucking story I DONT CARE LITERALLY SHUT UO FIR FIVE MINUTES #and he thinks he's so fucking superior for his bullshit fandom opinions like ohmygod you're just as fucking bad as victoria cus you think #you're self aware and you're fucking NOT #you write ml fanfic and loudly talk about rpf on the bus and if you say 'you know how it is' one more time i'm actually going to strangle u #i'm hungry #i'm so sad #and i didn't even brush my teeth #i want to go to bed but i'm so hungry and i hate breakfast and i usually hate lunch and i feel like a fucking animal

[hedgehog-moss]

I went to a restaurant with a friend yesterday and upon entering we saw these splendid blueberry tarts under bell jars on the counter and we made jokey small talk with the waitress like oh, people will fight over these if there's not enough for everyone, it'll tear families apart, are you making more later? and she said no, I'm afraid that's our entire stock for today, but there are 18 slices, it should be plenty! It was a small village restaurant with only one menu du jour so there weren't any other dessert options but they don't usually get that many customers—but then a couple of large groups arrived and most people noticed the tarts like we did, and went ohh blueberry tart, it's been a while, I can't wait, and it became clear that when we'd get to the end of our meal there would be winners and losers in the blueberry tart rush

But later as we were about to order dessert I wasn't hungry anymore and I was like well that's too bad but someone else will be glad to get 'my' slice of tart—and my friend said yeah, me :) You should order it anyway, I'll eat both! At first I thought she was joking, but no. I said, there's not enough for everyone, you can't take two, and she said, we were going to order two slices, what difference does it make? and I was baffled that she couldn't see the ethical difference between two people eating one slice of tart each vs. one person eating two, when there's a limited quantity of tart. I felt like we were in a simplistic social justice metaphor it was so obvious, but there was no changing her mind. When I said "it's just... not nice" she said "okay" with a shrug, and what can you say to that. She added, you don't know any of these people and I was like, why are we reverting to tribal dynamics in a non-apocalyptic setting, how would you feel if we'd arrived a bit later and seen others ordering two desserts knowing you'd get zero? And she said, I would think that's their right, and I felt kind of amazed.

I pointed out that if she didn't think it was a wee bit wrong, she wouldn't ask me to order her second piece as if it was for me, and she said yeah maybe we don't need to do that, there's no law preventing me from ordering two desserts. What about Kant's categorical imperative Okay I guess you're not breaking any laws by taking more than your fair share of a thing other people also want, just failing a kindergarten-level morality test. I felt embarrassed for sounding like an annoying preachy rigid person so I dropped the issue, and as she ate her two slices she'd smile at me every time we overheard someone order coffee without dessert—like "See? There'll be enough, no one will be deprived of tart because of me!" as if that cancelled the fact that she didn't care in the first place. I guess it was one of these tiny issues that can still significantly alter the way you perceive a person. I tried to tell myself not to be so bothered about this small thing but I was! so bothered. And I felt like writing a letter to some agony aunt like "should I end a friendship over irreconcilable blueberry tart ethics"