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#I do mean this post sincerely btw
youngpettyqueen · 9 months
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sometimes you need to be filled with righteous rage and anger and take a couple hours to calm down and think rationally and realize you are hangry and overstimulated and it was never that deep
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kerorowhump · 8 months
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"You're a bunch of fools! You two almost thwarted my beautiful plan! So much for the surprise, you were about to reveal the whole thing. I wonder where I found collaborators as inept as you! And now you'll stay locked in there!! You're grounded!* Tiè!*"
"I don't understand why he's so worked up about this."
"I don't wanna stay here anymore I'm so hungry!!"
(author's note: I have three notes here. 1- "where did y find x" is an insult often used in italian to imply they have little value. 2- "You're grounded" literally "in castigo", the 'you' is implied, he basically just says "grounded", and it has a clear connotation of putting your kids in time-out when they misbehave. 3- most fascinatingly, "tiè" is untranslatable, it's a regional expression along the lines of "serves you right", sometimes accompanied by a gesture that's equally as italian-specific, called "bras d'honneur". It is the closest Keroro can get to telling his friends "get fucked" without there being trouble about vulgarity, even though I am sincerely surprised they used it.)
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blueaisha · 7 months
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sometimes i interact with people on here that i dont know personally but that i am Aware of and seem hot platonically/i want to be their friend real bad but i have no idea if they're Rockin Wit Me so i feel like this
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interacting with them and giving them the opportunity to search 'incest' or 'fiction' or 'loli' on my blog and decide if they want to immediately block me and show me that This was doomed from the start or to allow an entry for the most based most yucky friendship to bloom.
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kimmkitsuragi · 2 years
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recent epiphanies in my life like
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"what if i go abroad and end up sad and lonely there!!!!!! :(((("
"you're already sad and lonely here too"
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patricia-taxxon · 2 months
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genuine sincere i-mean-this-entirely-in-good-faith-and-just-want-to-understand question: why eroticize your trauma? why that specific method of coping over another? it's not what i chose to do so it feels really foreign to me and i'd like to try to learn why people do it and honestly you're the only person i'd feel comfortable asking; you're just so frank about it. you don't have to answer this of course the last thing i would want is for you to get dogpiled in the notes by people who are going to crucify you for it no matter what. hope you're doing well btw and i'm glad to see other people enjoy techdog so much, it's well-deserved praise
Oh, it wasn't a choice. i've wrestled with these thoughts since i was 10, i'm frank about it because ive already been through the shame-wringer and back again and i dont have the energy to be embarrassed anymore. that post was for ppl who, by circumstance, are in a similar position.
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balletfilmss · 10 days
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ISN’T SHE SO SWEET?
✸ pairing: percy jackson x daughter of artemis! reader smau
✸ notes: requested by @sunnflowerss-wp !! this prompt was fun & i looooooved incorporating my hunters of artemis girlies <3
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…now playing: there she goes — the la’s
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percyjacks: “but percy, she’s so scary” are we looking at the same person? 🤨 new moon=yn appreciation day
tagged: yn.ln
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team.leo: look i said that ONCE bc she shot me and i feared for my life
╰┈➤ percyjacks: excuses excuses, if she shot you then you deserved it
╰┈➤ team.leo: BRO THE GAME WAS OVER???
╰┈➤ percyjacks: LALALAL 👨‍🦯
╰┈➤ annabethc: did…did you just use a blind emoji for not being able to hear?
╰┈➤ percyjacks: omg beth let me live
piedpiper: EVERY day should be yn appreciation day wdym 😒
╰┈➤ percyjacks: yk what piper, you’re so right, my sincerely apologies to everyone
yn.ln: NOOOOO BABE YOU’RE EXPOSING ALL OF MY SECRETSSSSS
╰┈➤ percyjacks: sweetheart…you’re about as secretive as piper is straight
╰┈➤ yn.ln: HEY
lieutenant.thal: new moon = thalia visits day, hand over my girl
╰┈➤ percyjacks: im sorry, WHOSE girl???
╰┈➤ lieutenant.thal: did i stutter?
annabethc: those cookies in the second pic were bomb asf, you’re welcome
╰┈➤ yn.ln: make more beth, im begging 🙏🙏
neeks._: i’ve quite literally seen her try and bite people’s fingers off before
╰┈➤ percyjacks: what’s your point? 😒
╰┈➤ neeks._: oh there isn’t one im js sayin
gracefully.jason: she’s pretty, but where’s my man percy at?
╰┈➤ yn.ln: you mean MY man. i will hunt you down, grace
╰┈➤ percyjacks: she’s so sweet 🥰
…now playing: tek it — cafuné
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yn.ln: the peeta to my katniss 🤍🏹
tagged: percyjacks
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lieutenant.thal: babe it’s not too late to join 🙏🙏
╰┈➤ percyjacks: yn block her PLEASE
╰┈➤ yn.ln: no to both of you 🤍
hazel_lev: YOU GUYS ARE SO CUTIE TOOTIE
╰┈➤ yn.ln: JSJSKSK ILY HAZE <33
percyjacks: idk who this peeta guy is but i think i look pretty damn good 😮‍💨
╰┈➤ yn.ln: look, i love you but don’t disrespect peeta mellark like that
piedpiper: you guys are cut but im gonna throw up next time im within a 3 mile radius omg
╰┈➤ team.leo: this is how we all feel when you and annabeth are all over each other btw!
╰┈➤ annabethc: you’re just mad because you can’t get a girl
╰┈➤ piedpiper: GET HIS ASS BABY 🗣️ (suck it, valdez)
gracefully.jason: idk what tf bread and cats have to do with this post but go yn 🙌
╰┈➤ yn.ln: …
╰┈➤ percyjacks: jason… bro
╰┈➤ yn.ln: i have never sighed so hard at a comment before in my life
reyna.ara: gods, i love it when his face is hidden & all i can see is you, you’re so gorgeous bae <3
╰┈➤ yn.ln: stawwwwwp 🤭
╰┈➤ pecyjacks: yeah. stop.
╰┈➤ reyna.ara: percy. three’s a crowd.
thegoat_: it’s so unfortunate to say but i took two thirds of these pictures
╰┈➤ yn.ln: grover do NOT act like i dont take cutie pics of you & juniper ☹️( reminder: 🏹)
╰┈➤ thegoat_: you are absolutely right, pretend I didn’t say anything (pls but the bow down)
percyjacks: gods, i love you 🩵
╰┈➤ yn.ln: i love you too, seaweed brain 🤎
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chososdiscordkitten · 3 months
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Obsessive!Choso♡ pt 10
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pt 9 here
Content: direct cont of last chapter, just more unshamed flirting, uncanon hcs on how he grew up, MENTIONED of Choso seeing reader as untouched (?), small time skip for my own sanity. Choso is an ex smoker- ill circle back to that, talk of exes, not so much stalking- again, next chap will have that dw, some excerpts from Winnie the Pooh- another hc of mine, its happening guys. Word Count: 6.8k
(a.n) wow, a whole month and im barely posting, (sorry) new writing style too👍🏽 the lil .𖥔 ݁ ˖ .  ₊˚⊹⋆ ⁺   . guys mean a different scene btw.
Taglist: @eristi @sunaumi @ex-ria @just-pure-trash @kha-0s @iluvreinah @iamboredowo @integers @waytootiredforthisss @1arminsimp @hannas16 @chosowhore @tojicvmslut @ofalcaodacolinablue @thesharkcollector @mochipip @hotvillianapologist @ziklope @saeline @morinuu @b3llair3 @24hrnanami
⋆ ˚。 ⋆୨♡୧ ⋆ ˚。 ⋆
Looking at you, Choso felt the sudden urge to tell you just how much he loved you. Sitting in his shabby apartment- not caring for the mess or how dingey it was. Still- you cared enough to go see him. He knew it was you- and it will always be you. Be it the dissolving cold medicine in his tummy- or if he really felt this way. In that moment, Choso was so sure he loved you, issues and all. “This is what happens when you spend more time outside than inside.” you hummed, being able to hear his ragged breathing from the chair.
“I hardly get sick.” he coughed, making you perch your eyebrows, all but saying ‘be real.’ He gulped, feeling his sore throat make it difficult to swallow.
“It's true.” he huffed, looking at you seriously. “You strike me as someone with a…” you hesitated, trying to find the correct word. Making him look at you with curious eyes, “-with a wavering immune system.” You grinned, making him nod his head in agreement. “You don't get sick?” he asked, tone sincere. “I never get sick.” you hummed, flaunting your health in his face. “It's been 3 years since I had a cold so-” you laughed, “I can truly say- I don't get sick.” he looked at you with believing eyes. 
“You're right though- I do have a sucky immune system,” he sighed, twiddling with his thumbs in his lap, you hummed with a smile. “Too much of what growing up?” you asked, sensing it was caused by something from his upbringing. Choso grimaced, not wanting to admit it. Mind flashing back to the instagram story you posted at the beginning of the semester. Something about ‘why smoke when so many things are trying to kill you-’
You twitched your head, waiting for him to answer. He inhaled, looking away from you as though you were already scolding him. “I used to be a heavy-” he started, lowering his tone. “...smoker.” he mumbled, squeezing his eyes shut- waiting for you to start speaking. You sighed, making him turn his head over to look at you again, eyes squinted and arms crossed. Nodding your head ‘no’ disapprovingly. “Not anymore though-” he defended, not wanting to upset you. Face churned with worry that this was something you'd never forgive.
You gave him a half laugh, “Choso- I don't care if you used to smoke-” you furrowed your eyebrows, not knowing why he thought he had to defend himself to you. “I mean-” you started, seeing his face fall. “I obviously care if you do- but this was before you knew me.” You smiled, making him exhale the breath he held in his chest. “And besides, who am I to scold you on a bad habit?” you hummed, making him open his mouth to speak. “It doesn't bother you?” he leaned onto his hand planted on the bed, intrigued to hear your answer.
“It would bother me in a- ‘want you to be healthy’ way.” you droned, looking away from his face- being able to see small glimmers form in his eyes at your words. “But if it's your choice, and you want to do it. Don't let my opinions base your choices.” you assured, making him rest back onto his bed in ease. Pressing the back of his head onto the wall in thought. Even if you told him not to- he'd still use your words to make his life choices. ‘Because it is only you who I am trying to impress.’
Inhaling sharply at the feeling of heavy tension in the air, looking to his nightstand and scanning a small stack of books. Noticing he had some of the same ones you had on your nightstand. “Winnie The Pooh?” you asked, looking at his blushed cheeks and pinched eyebrows at your observation. “I uh- I used to read it to my brothers.” He mumbled, seeing your delicate hands pick up the green cover, flipping through the well cared for pages with a smile.
“I brought it with me knowing if I left it, they'd find a way to destroy it.” he laughed. You looked back to him as you gently flipped through the pages, smiling when you saw the small rips and folds from how long he had it. Noticing his slow blinks and how he was manually breathing now-
“All the years I spent repeating those pages and I don't remember a single thing from them.” he muttered, looking down at his hands- almost sad. You blinked back to look at him, “Why’s that?” you hummed with a small smile, secretly elated that he was finally opening up a little, instead of asking about you. “I never focused on the words.” he muttered, looking at the tearing corners of the green cloth cover.
“I think it's because I always tried to make sure they were entertained- that they enjoyed what I read.” he mumbled, seeing you carefully flip the pages. Knowing it held sentimental value, Choso looked at your gentle grasp on the books as though you were holding his heart in your hands. Using all the care in the world as you examined it. “How old were you?” you asked, closing the cover and placing it on your lap. Scanning his soft expression at your question. 
“When you first read it to them?” You clarified making him bat his eyes down to his hands, unable to withstand the burning gaze you held to his skin. “Eight- maybe nine.” he mumbled, unpleasant memories flooding into his mind again. “Before your mom-?” you pressed, seeing his eyebrows furrow. With a small nod, he exhaled, “I picked it up one day. Not knowing I'd reread it for the next 13 years.” Choso scoffed Remembering the last time he read it to Yuuji, a bittersweet smile on his lips. “Sad huh?” he looked back at you, seeing your eyebrows curled up with sad eyes below them.
You inhaled, placing your hand flat against the book on your lap, “No, Choso. It's not sad.” You grinned, “It's actually really sweet.”, letting out a half laugh from your nose. Holding up your thumb and pointer finger, pinching the air “A tiny bit sad-” you whispered, making him let out a half laugh from his chest. “But sweet.” you assured.
Choso gave you a few slow blinks, feeling his throat dry. Closing his eyes in an attempt to blink, but keeping them closed. “M’tired.” he mumbled, making your shoulders tense- coming to the realization that you infiltrated his space uninvited. You widened your eyes, “Shit- sorry-” you whispered, placing the book on his night stand before going to stand up. Choso’s eyes flashed open, reaching for your wrist. Being able to fully wrap his fingers around it. Looking up at you with panicked eyes, a stare you hadn’t seen before.
“Stay.” he whispered, looking down at him with wide eyes, his grip on your wrist wasn't firm- showing you just how tired he was. “Please.” Soft tone making you blink down at him. It's not as though you needed any convincing. 
You smiled, pressing your other hand onto his knuckles. Soothing his nerves, “Okay.” you whispered, sitting back down. “I'll stay.” you murmured, his shoulders easing as his cheeks blushed at the embarrassment. “Lay down.” you instructed, reaching for the book again. Furrowing your eyebrows when you saw him slowly easing into his own bed. Almost uncomfortably. 
Choso looked over to you, resting his head lightly on the pillows to avoid the embarrassment of his bed frame collapsing. He huffed a pained laugh from his chest seeing your expression, “If I move too quickly- it'll break.” he explained, making you nod your head with a smile. “Now I know what to get you for your birthday.” you murmured to yourself, making him let out a weak ‘haha’, as his eyes threatened to close. His grip on your hand tightening, to be sure you wouldn't leave if he went to sleep.
Scooching the rolling chair closer to the bed, side of your thigh pressed against his mattress and you faced him. “I think it's your turn to be read to.” you mumbled, pulling your hand from his briefly and placing the book back on your lap, cracking it open, placing the spine between your closed thighs and holding onto his hand again. 
Thumb brushing gently against his knuckles, as your fingers flipped the pages. Tender gaze staring at you as though this was the first time he was ever taken care of. As though this was a marvel.
Making sure to keep your tone soft- inhaling softly before you started, “Here is Edward Bear, coming downstairs now-” the words fell from your lips in whispers, gracing his ears as he looked at the afternoon sun peaking through. His eyes scanning your features- the way the sun peeked through your eyelashes, how you smiled reading the childish words. When you looked back to him to see if he was still with you, and how gentle you were. Holding his calloused hand as though he was made of lace.
Eternally grateful for the universe putting you here. “Isn’t it funny how a bear likes honey?” you spoke gently, fingers grazing the edge of the old page.
Being able to see every unique characteristic that graced your skin thanks to the warm sun. “It's a very funny thought that if bears were Bees, They'd build their nests at the bottom of trees.” you smiled at the silly rhyme, cheekbones glowing when you grinned. Unaware of how badly he yearned for you. How he missed you even if you were sitting inches away from him.
“How sweet to be a cloud, floating in the blue. Every little cloud always sings aloud.” hazy eyes looking at you through his eyelashes, parting his lips that threatened to speak before his mind caught up. ‘It’s you.’ he thought, feeling his lips move, the words at the tip of his tongue as you flipped the page.
Looking up at him from the book, making him close his lips, “It makes him very proud to be a little cloud.” you smiled at him. “Are you proud to be a little cloud Choso?” you hummed with a sappy smile, making him close his eyes and nod, “Only if you're a cloud with me.” he croaked quietly, making you tighten your grip on his hand before continuing to read.
Choso looked at you with a content smile on his lips, heart beating strongly in his chest. Blinks become longer and longer as you flip the page. Your words become mumbles in his mind as his blinking halted. His hand slowly went limp in yours as you continued reading softly. 
Hearing soft inhales and exhales from him as you closed the book. Soft eyes scanning his expression, finding it adorable how quick he fell asleep. But the adoration churned to sadness- not knowing precisely why he was never read to as a child. But knowing he grew up always taking care of everyone but himself, you saw it in the way he spoke to you. In the way he tried sparing your feelings anytime he'd say something out of turn, and most of all you tasted it in the way he cooked for you.
Thinking how crazy it was that even if you had been friends with him only for a few weeks- you still felt sad for him. You felt. For him. Which was more than you could say for anyone else you had met in that place. 
You huffed with a smile, looking away from him as you derailed your own train of thought. Now taking the chance to look around his apartment- at the walls, at the broken blinds, at the small kitchen. You looked back down to the hand that softly held yours, taking the time to admire them now that he wasn't awake to catch you. 
Calloused- but they were warm. Tender. Brutish knuckles that you knew held power behind them, softly scanning the scars he told you stories about. Slowly pulling your hand from his grasp, grazing the tips of your fingers on his painted nails. Admiring how well you painted them. 
Snapping yourself out of the daze you put yourself in, suddenly feeling very creepy for staring at your friend who was innocently sleeping. You nodded your head at your wandering thoughts, god. Here he was practically dying of the plague and you were being skeevy. With a sigh you pressed your hand to your forehead, trying to think on what to do now. You didn't want to leave- but it seemed even weirder to stay. You inhaled, pushing the chairs' wheels back with your feet, standing up and looking down to him.
All but saying it since it was smeared on your expression, thankful he was sleeping or else he'd see it. Here he was- man who you put so much effort into flirting with. You see, with most men- they were easy. One little bat of the eye and a sweet smile and they'd do anything to take you home. But with him- he'd offer to take you home, without any ulterior motives.. Walk you up to your doorstep to be sure you are safe. Which only made the kindness you had easier to give. 
So there you were, disguising your snooping as being kind. Taking quiet steps around his apartment. Not daring to actually open anything- but it was tempting. Hands behind your back as you looked at the small crack of his closet door. Squinting at it before looking to his kitchen, making sure to step quietly on the creaky wood floors. Looking back at him anytime a creak was a little too noisy. 
Curious as to what was in his fridge- as good as he cooked he must have more than enough ingredients in his fridge, right? 
Staring into Choso’s fridge, furrowed eyebrows staring at one old lime and a single bottle of ketchup. It looked sadder than the one at your own house did. You closed the white door and opened the freezer- nothing. You expected at least liquor- any college student with a fridge has at least a bottle to fall back on. 
You looked back at Choso, almost scolding him in your mind. And with the sight of his sleeping face- the marvelous idea popped into your mind. Taking a few steps to stand above his desk, taking the pink post-it stack and a black pen before writing a small note. Smiling as you wrote the stupid words. 
Placing the pink post- it on his night stand, smiling before looking down to his peaceful expression. Inhaling quickly before walking back to the entryway, coat in hand as you look back once more before opening the door- making sure not to lock it for when you'd be back.
Even in his sleep Choso heard the door close, but that's not what woke him. What woke him was his neighbor slamming their front door shut. Making him jolt awake in his own bed. Panicked eyes scanning the four walls of his apartment expecting to see you, only for you not to greet him when he woke. Choso felt a little disappointed. Mainly with himself for thinking you'd be here when he woke. That you'd wait for him. 
He sighed, sitting up slowly and trying to blink away his exhaustion. Looking to his nightstand and seeing a misplaced post-it, small smile forming on his ill lips as he read your writing. ‘Had to go get a few things. be good and take ur medicine! I'll be back soon :) - the best nurse you will ever have,’ he smiled reading your initials at the bottom of the note.
 And as you instructed, Choso took the medicine you placed on his side table, noticing his throat wasn't as achy as it was before you got there.
There was a hint of panic in his breaths, anxiety and trailing thoughts scared that you snooped. That you found something that you shouldn't have. Even if he hid everything- there was still the fear that he forgot something. Choso sighed and looked over to where he tossed his phone, faced down and silent. He picked it up and saw way too many notifications from his brother, with a sigh he returned his call. 
Closing his eyes as the dial rang through his ear. Hearing the receiver click- ‘hello?’ He heard his brother's voice in his ear. “You called?” he huffed, knowing his voice sounded a bit groggy. 
‘I was trying to cockblock you.’ Yuuji laughed, making Choso scoff and roll his eyes. Leaning an arm on the bed, knowing not to take his jokes too seriously. “You'd do that to your big brother?” taking a sarcastic tone, as he felt his brain pound against his skull.
Choso heard a quiet snicker come from the phone, ‘How are you feeling?’ Yuuji asked, Choso gave an exasperated sigh. “Better. I feel better. I think the worst is over.” Choso grumbled, hearing his brother let out agreeing hums.
‘Is your ‘friend’ still there?’ Yuuji asked in an accusatory tone, “No. No, they left.” Choso exhaled, flashing his eyes to that vent he hid his shame in. ‘Good thing or a bad thing?’ he asked knowing his big brother had a tendency to overcomplicate his own feelings. “I have-” he exhaled, staring at the door of his apartment, “No idea Yuuji.” he closed his eyes, feeling the confusion and those complicated feelings eat away at the illness.
He gave a strained laugh from his chest in disbelief, “I have no clue what I'm doing.” closing his eyes and remembering all the times you've tried to make a step forward. Only for Choso to take 3 back. “I’m fucking this up Yuuji.” he huffed, his baby brother was silent on the other line, hearing the worries spill from his mouth. 
‘How?’ Yuuji asked, only wanting to gauge how to go about this. “I came here for you guys. To be better. For you all to be comfortable and happy.” he started, hearing Yuuji sigh through the phone, ‘I've told you a million times- you don't have to worry about us.’ His brother had assured him of this plenty of times. Choso felt small whenever he tried to talk about it but the day came when he felt a wisp of resentment in his heart. And he knew he had to talk about it or else he'd grow angry towards the reason he was put on this planet.
And it was true, Choso eased off a little. After a lengthy conversation with Eso about how it feels to be plagued with being the oldest- his brother assured him he was put on this planet with no purpose. He didn't have to live just for them.
Then came the tattoos and the piercings, trying to find himself in the body mutilation. Somewhere in his heart he knew he came to college to find himself too. Just like you did.
‘You like this person?’ Yuuji spoke up, throwing Choso out of his thoughts. It was a thought he didn't want to think, in his mind he loved you. It felt like true love when he was with you. But actually saying it- telling his brother that you, a person he didn't know a few months ago, had invaded his goal of being better for his family. It was a hard thing to say, and to think.
That he wasn't there just for his family and himself anymore, he was here for you now too. 
“I do Yuuji.” he scoffed, hearing the smile form on his brother's face through the phone. ‘In a ‘this persons pretty cool’ or like how I feel about that actress from the hunger games?’ Yuuji joked, making Choso lean his elbows on his knees and smile, “Neither-” Choso scoffed, “In a way I feel consumed by them.” he mumbled, hearing pensative noises coming from the phone, ‘Maybe m’not the best person to speak to this about-’ he laughed, ‘I've never felt ‘consumed’ by how much I liked someone before.’ he admitted, making Choso nod his head disapprovingly.
Hearing footsteps darken his doorway- along with the brass doorknob turning, frightened that it was someone other than you. Only it was you- stepping into his apartment as though it was your own. Your shocked eyes looking at Choso’s face, not expecting to see him awake. “Sorry-” you grinned with a whisper, stepping in fully and softly closing the door behind you. Seeing he was on the phone.
‘Did they come back?!’ Yuuji blurted, “I'll call you later.” he mumbled into the phone, seeing you place handfuls of groceries onto the kitchen counter. Making his cheeks blush at how domestic this whole thing was starting to feel. His brother started yapping a million questions before Choso pulled the phone from his ear, “Later. Yuuji.” taking a stern tone as he clicked the red button on the screen.
In Choso’s heart he felt guilt- guilty for even thinking about questioning his devotion towards you. All he needed to see was that sweet smile grace your lips to remember how he felt. 
“I didn't know what to bring- so I brought it all.” you huffed with a smile, unpacking the groceries from the plastic bags. Choso looked at you baffled at the unnecessary act of kindness. Looking at him with sweet eyes, “You look better.” You smiled with closed lips, Choso’s cheeks tingled at the tone you took. “Do I?” he muttered, pushing a few stray strands of hair behind his ear. 
“Your color came back- Before I left you looked like a ghost.” You joked, turning around and placing a few bags of vegetables in his fridge, making Choso cringe knowing you had seen the sad contents of his fridge. “My uh-” he shifted on his bed, watching as you put away the various items you bought for him. “-brothers tell me I look like a ghost most of the time.” he smiled, hearing your shoes thump on the vinyl flooring. 
You scoffed, looking at his face once more, tilting your head as you examined his features. Choso couldnt help but squirm feeling your eyes on him. You let out a small giggle, looking away from him before opening a bag of bread. “You do.” he sighed in defeat, watching your nodding head as you pulled out two slices from the thin bag. 
“Shit-” you mouthed, looking up at him as you held the bread in your hands, “Can I… borrow your stove?” you grimaced, scanning his confused expression. “I'm starving.” you reiterated, noticing he made that face he made when his mind would run a million miles a minute as he thought.
What confused him wasn't the question- more like ‘You've already made yourself at home- why ask to use my stove? What's mine is yours.’ but what stuttered from his lips was, “Yeah- go for it.” as you reached into a cupboard, pulling out a charred skillet as though you were the one who put it there, your delicate hands turning the metal knobs on the stove. 
Choso watched you from a distance- as though if he got too close you'd fade away. Watching as you buttered both sides of each slice before placing them on the skillet, “You want one?” you hummed, unwrapping the yellow squares of cheese and placing them onto the toasting bread.
Choso smiled, “I thought you didn't cook?” he spouted sarcastically, watching as you plucked a plastic spatula from the utensil holder, “Two pieces of bread and a slice of cheese is not cooking.” you retorted with a smile, flipping the toasted slices of bread. “Your opportunity for a grilled cheese made with love is waning, Choso.” you teased, seeing his face fall at the sudden words. 
Nodding his head quickly once he processed your choice of words, “Plates?” you asked, even from a distance you were able to see his pupils dilate. He smiled, seeing your lips form a smile along with him. “How mad would you be if I told you I don't have any…?” he grinned, making you suck your teeth harshly, a snide comment forming on your tongue but holding it back. 
Plucking two white kitchen napkins from the stray roll he had on the counter, placing the well toasted grilled cheese onto it before scooping it in your hands. Taking a few paces towards him, looking down at your feet as you stopped right before him. “You need plates.” you practically scolded, making him look up at you with a bashful grin. “I know.” he whispered, taking the napkin plate from your hands- his fingertips grazing against the back of your palm. 
The feeling of shock from touching you diminishes with every purposeful graze from his hands. You irked your head, shaking off the goosebumps that formed on your arms as you walked back to the stove, flashing a few stares to him as you buttered the sides of your own grilled cheese. 
Placing the toasted bread onto your own napkin plate, tying a small knot onto the bread bag, cleaning up after yourself as Choso held the sandwich in his hands. Waiting for you to finish so he could eat. 
You looked up from the counter, huffing with a small chuckle, “Choso you can eat.” You flashed him a toothy smile as you turned off the stove, “M’waiting for you.” he spoke with all the honesty he could muster.
'I will always wait for you.’ he thought, a glimmer shining in his eyes as he bounced his knee slowly. 
“Don't wait for me Choso.” you muttered, as though you read his mind, picking up your makeshift plate and walking over to him, sitting back onto his rolling chair as he watched you with a grin. 
Nodding your head- practically having to give him permission to eat, raising the sandwich to his mouth and taking a bite. Following what he did as you both chewed in silence. 
“Why'd you bring me groceries?” he spat, almost as though his mouth spoke before he could think about it. You thought about it- not having any real reason other than it felt like it was the right thing to do. “No man should have to live with an empty fridge.” you settled on that being a decent response, Choso nodded his head, agreeing with what you said. 
“I'll pay you back-” he declared, seeing your face glow with a cheerful smile, “You don't have to.” you scoffed, holding the crumbly bread in your hands. “S’what…friends do for each other.” there- you did it again. You hesitated before calling him your friend. Choso noticed this since you tried to present him to your roommates friends.
“Why're you so nice to me?” he breathed, avoiding your eyes as he looked down to the sandwich. “Were back on this again?” you kidded seeing his smile fall- actually thinking on why you were being kind, “If we're being honest- you brought this up first.” He defended coyly, “Choso.” you called his name seriously, making his eyes bat up to look at you with a hung head, “I’m nice to you because I like you.” You furrowed your eyebrows as you looked at him. 
“You're nice to everyone though-” he retorted quietly, trying his best to not let the blatant jealousy show through his tone. “I pretend to be nice to everyone, yeah-” you smiled, “But I have never been- this. Nice to anyone before.” You assured, your cheeks warming from his borderline possessive words. 
Choso looked at you with furrowed eyebrows, all but asking ‘Really?’ nodding your head in response. “I promise.” Those words meant more to Choso than you'd ever know, it was as though you swore on the thing closest to your heart to him. Placing the sandwich onto the napkin atop your thighs, holding out a childish pinkie and looking at him with soft eyes, ‘Promise.’ you mouthed, Choso raised a hesitant hand, holding out his pinkie as he looked into your eyes.
Interlocking your pinkies as he felt the difference in size, “And I don't like anyone enough to be this nice.” You pulled your pinkie from his, seeing his expression show he wasn't fully convinced on the idea. 
“Can I tell you a secret?” you hushed, seeing his eyes peek up and look at you through thick eyelashes. 
Nodding his head earnestly, leaning in a little bit more, “I hate everyone in the world except you right now.” 
The words you meant in a joking way- only saying them to make him lighten up. It wasn't as though they didn't have some truth- right now everyone sucked and he was the only one who cared enough to make things better.
But to him, those words were all but a confession- a confession that all this time he wasn't a crazed stalker who embedded himself in your life. Those words made his doubts of what he was doing disappear almost entirely. 
“You mean that?” he spoke with avoidant eyes and blushing pink cheeks. You exhaled, earning Choso to look back to your eyes, “I do.” 
.𖥔 ݁ ˖ .  ₊˚⊹⋆ ⁺   .
After that illuminating morning spent with you, he made sure to be more cautious with what he'd say- how he'd act towards you. But his attempts at caution only made his slip ups more apparent. 
The last week of January passed by in seconds to Choso, having you sitting next to him in the classes you had together made life easier. Classes spent drawing on his pale skin to pass the time, and he'd let you- Choso would try his very best to control the warmth that he was sure made his ears turn a shade of pink. But it's not like he had to hide his shamed blushes from you anymore. 
Little by little your touch became a constant in his life- your soft hands pulling the rings from his calloused ones, fiddling with them in class as the professor spoke. Turning them while they were still on his fingers as his knee bounced nervously. Being able to smell your perfume- even able to feel your nails graze against his skin as you toyed with his jewelry. 
The habit of him walking you home slowly diminished in the first week of February, now walking to his apartment to spend more time together more often than not. Playing kids board games on his apartment floor after he told you that- “I never really played them.” when you asked if he's ever gone through an entire game of monopoly, “I only ever over saw as my brothers played-” he smiled, seeing you look at him bewildered. “Y'know. To make sure no one cheated.” 
To which you responded with ‘borrowing’ the board games from your house, bringing them to his apartment. Seeing it as an opportunity to get to know him better through the childrens games. What he liked most about the time spent playing the games was that you'd leave your phone on his kitchen counter, on do not disturb and faced down. He liked that there wasn't anything to distract you from him.
The topic of exes was brought up hesitantly by you- unsure if you wanted to know about his past in that aspect. 
Sitting on the floor of his apartment, knees crossed as you faced each other, “Any past lovers I should expect on my doorstep?” You hummed casually, placing a green uno card onto the small stack, “Not that I know of. No.” he smiled to himself, “That you know of?” you asked sarcastically, seeing him place a card into the pile with a scoff. 
“No. Don't expect any ‘ex lovers’ at your door-” he called your name almost in a scolding tone. You nodded mockingly, “Any at all?” you examined your cards as you plucked one from your stack. Choso looked at you- unsure of what you were getting at. “No?” 
“No girlfriends- or boyfriends- or partne-” you were interrupted by Choso’s shoulders slumping with furrowed eyebrows. Silencing your question as he placed a card onto the pile, “...Can I ask why?” You chirped, seeing his low eyes look up from the colorful cards and think about it. 
“There was just never time.” he sighed, feeling embarrassed by your curiosity. Making you nod your head in agreement. Choso didn't even want to think about your exes, how many there were or if you loved any of them. He liked picturing you as an untouched, pristine, glass statue- only to be held by him. And thinking that you will only ever love him. 
“Even when you came here?” you pressed, his lips forcing a smile- “Nope.” his response was curt- waiting for you to place a card onto the pile. “Why?” your tone was accusatory- almost as though you were trying to dance around the real reason you were asking these questions. “S’your turn.” he mumbled, looking up from his cards and looking at you, “..What?” you asked confused as to what he was saying.
“It's your turn-” he spoke your name- flashing his eyes down to your cards as you inhaled, understanding what he meant. Picking a random card and placing it onto the stack, Choso looked at your parting lips- daring to keep pressing the question.
Even if he was starting to feel a sliver of irritation- he found it adorable that you were curious about that part of his life. “Choso.” you spoke, earning his eyebrow to arch before he responded with your name in the same tone you used. You sighed in defeat, making him tilt his head to the side. Thinking very hard as he skimmed through the distant memories of anyone he had a crush on growing up. 
“Uh- there was my neighbor in the second grade- then in the fourth grade there was this girl who I used to chase around the playground- and then in middle school I started exploring the world of people I could like- then in my freshman year I got my first-” he babbled, oversharing the meaningless information that you asked for with a sarcastic tone, trying to prove a point. “Okay-okay. I get it.” you interrupted with a laugh “I don't see the point in talking about the past when it does nothing for us.” he spoke as he arranged the cards in his hands. 
‘Us- I’m already calling me nd you,‘us’ he thought as you spoke “It helps me get to know you.” You defended, “You ever have a question- ask me it directly, please.” he smiled, “Don't dance around it-” 
“Have you ever loved anyone?” you interrupted, Choso looked at you with tender eyes. “Like- love, love?” you clarified, only your question didn't need any clarification, Choso knew what you were talking about. 
He nodded his head no, “No I haven't.” he admitted, looking down to his cards before picking one and placing it in the growing pile. “Have you ever loved anyone?” he repeated your question, for once, you were left scrambling for words. “N-no.” You admitted almost in defense, “There were times I thought I was in love.” you started, mentally Choso was cursing whatever person you loved before him. 
“But I was just a kid. So no, I've never loved anyone.” you finished, placing a card on the useless pile, and gathering the cards since neither of you were really playing the game anymore.
The salty conversation ended right there, Choso didn't want to hear of your past relationships- and you didn't want to embarrass him further by asking again. But the tension in the air was gone the next time you saw him, bringing up how you were thinking of moving out of your house. 
Choso’s hands picking upa stack of playing cards and shuffling them with his hands, “Why?” he asked, scanning your irritated expression as you thought about the roommates waiting for you. “People just- suck.” you smiled, seeing his hands carefully put away the  cards in the torn up box. Standing up and walking towards the kitchen counter, eyeing your phone as his back faced you.
Knowing you wouldn't be able to see if he took a peek- just one peek. 
Pretending to keep idle hands as he feigned looking at the game boards, “Your roommates again?” he asked as his hand inched towards your phone. Hearing you let out an exaggerated sigh, “Yes, they've been extra annoying recently.” you closed your eyes, waiting for him to come back with a new game. 
Choso gulped, his fingers flipping the side of your phone quietly, “Why's that?” he mindlessly replied as your phone screen light up. Seeing you kept the family picture of him and his brothers as your background, “They've been nagging and nagging about how I don't do my ‘chores’-” you complained, “I'm not even there as much anymore.” you continued.
Choso’s eyes scanned the growing list of notifications- squinting his eyes as he saw a text from a contact named ‘asshole’. You sighed, defeated by the growing list of issues awaiting you at that house. “And I'm broke.” You closed your eyes, leaning on your palms as you leaned your head back. “Broke huh?” he muttered, scrolling as he smiled at your claim. 
“Yup. No more sugar daddy money left- which is unfortunate.” You whispered to yourself. Choso heard it- but to protect his peace and not pick a fight over your choice of words. He ignored that little comment.
“Scrabble?” he mindlessly asked, “Nah s’too much thinking for me right now.” 
‘See you later today’ the message read with a heart, Choso couldn't help but think that you were being lured into something from that message, “How about-” he trailed on, placing your phone back onto the counter quietly as you sighed, “Connect 4?” he picked up the battered box and heard an agreeing ‘okay’ from your lips.
Walking back to the dedicated ‘board game’ spot at the center of his apartment, sitting down and placing the box between you. “Y'know- I looked at these apartments before I chose to live in that house.” you smiled as he slid the lid off the box, Choso’s face fell- thinking of how cruel the world was for taking away the opportunity of having you as a neighbor.
“You didn't like it here?” he joked, making you let out a small chortle as he set up the blue plastic. “I just didn’t wanna be alone.” you admitted, seeing Choso hold up his hands- a red chip in one and a yellow chip in the other, taking the red chip from his hand before he pushed your chips to your side of the grid.
“And you're thinking of moving into a unit?” he scoffed almost sarcastically, waiting for you to decide where to put your first chip. “I mean- even if they're constantly freezing. I just might.” you admitted honestly, seeing Choso’s fingers hover above the slot. Staring at you as he pictured you being his neighbor. 
You looked at him with raised eyebrows, “You don't like that idea?” you scoffed, seeing him nod his head ‘no’ before dropping a yellow chip into one of the slots, “You're probably thinking, ‘gee why not just move into my apartment while you're at it.” You giggled, dropping a red chip into the grid without thinking too hard, Choso titled his head- almost as though that's exactly what he was thinking.
“M’kidding. Choso.” You clarified, making him exhale at how flustered he was starting to feel. “It wouldn't be any different than it is now though-” you smiled, seeing his shaky hand drop a chip into the game- almost purposefully avoiding the ones you previously dropped, “I'm already here everyday.” you scoffed, unknowing your words were only making Choso’s ears burn below his hair.
“S-speaking of-” he found an opening of asking you the question that had been heavy in his mind ever since you brought it up, “I was thinking about- uh-” he struggled to find the words, “The uh….date?” he stuttered, blinking his eyes down to his chips and back at you. 
“You remember that?” you smiled, if he was being honest- the words hit him like a ton of bricks aimed directly to his heart. “...You don't?” he asked- pained and saddened. “Of course I do- I just,” you grimaced, “Didn't expect you to remember.” you admitted, “Y’know, since you were dying of bubonic plague.” you joked as you dropped a red chip into the game. 
“It was a small cold-” he defended, “And I do remember.” he continued, scanning your lax expression as he tried stepping through the seemingly difficult conversation.
“I wasn't gonna hold it against you-” you smiled, “You were feverish and on the brink of death-” you bantered, “I was not.” he defended himself, “You wanna take me out on a date Choso?” you asked teasingly- already knowing the answer but wanting to hear it from him again. 
“Will you let me?” he blushed, you looked at him surprised by his quick quip. With a smug smile, you were thinking things that should not be thought of at that moment.
-
pt 11 here
IM SOOOO SORRY FOR TAKING SOO LONG, PT 11 WILL BE POSTED ON VALENTINES DAY..... HEHEHEHE... (when can I start writing about the intimate things ;-;)
⋆ ˚。 ⋆୨♡୧ ⋆ ˚。 ⋆
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selya711-twiste · 1 year
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i'll take that, it's mine now
Rollo Flamme x reader You take his handkerchief from him.
ignoring my friend's request so that rollo would be my first post god bless. heads up that all my following works default to gender neutral y/n unless the request says otherwise. yuu is a shithead here btw. maybe some tsundere rollo is ok. is this called pining btw
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It's the second day of your trip to the city of flowers. The events that transpired the previous day all feel like a fever dream. You try to recall a scene from the festival, but all of a sudden your memories blur in together with the flickering reds and yellows of those flowers that spread like wildfire. Like an actual fever, you feel like you're overheating from dwelling on these thoughts for too long.
"Are you still listening?" Rollo speaks up a little louder, getting you out of your haze. You nod your head in response, but he's already caught on to your attention being elsewhere. "As I was saying…" He pauses for a moment as your eyes return to him. You sincerely tried to avoid conversations with the other Night Raven students as much as possible until noon. All that effort would go to waste now if Rollo Flamme of all people were to notice.
He was the one behind everything, wasn't he?
You don't have any magic (which is why you assume he's interested in you at all) so there must be some other way to get back at him. A small act done out of spite, something you can do... something to get on his nerves...
Rollo has yet to notice the shift in your expression when he brings out his handkerchief. Your eyes sparkle at the familiar purple cloth adorned with golden celestial shapes. Right before he could carry on with whatever he was talking about to you, your hand darts out and snatches it from him. It didn't even have the chance to touch his lips yet but now you have his handkerchief in your clutches. "I… What?" Rollo stares at you completely dumbfounded, at the sheer audacity-
You send him off with the most mischievous smile you could muster and turn around to flee. The image of his deer-in-the-headlights expression completely burns itself into your mind. You must admit you did this completely on impulse because now you have to deal with the prospect of returning it. Who knows what he could do to you over a handkerchief considering he set the city on fire.
You debate with yourself whether you should turn around or not to check if he's after you. As soon as you do, he's still standing there shocked at what you just did. His hand hasn't even moved from its original position. Your laugh echoes down the hallway as you continue to get away and your heart races with excitement. It's not long before you finally reunite with your schoolmates who ask you where you've been. The handkerchief is tucked neatly into your pocket. You reply innocently that Rollo talked with you for a moment while you were sweating bullets.
You spend the afternoon with your schoolmates and explore what the City of Flowers has to offer past the festival. The whole time, however, you feel holes being bored into your back.
"Hey, you good?" Your good friend Deuce places a hand on your shoulder. Fortunately, his voice was a bit hushed, so you don't have to worry about everyone else worrying over you. You reply as soon as you could but you don't let him know why you were distracted in the first place. Rollo is standing there at the other end of the street with other Noble Bell College students, his sharp gaze locked on yours. A million thoughts race through your head about how this encounter would go. Maybe Rollo will walk over towards you with your friends to ask for his handkerchief back, but that means facing everyone who confronted him the previous night.
Speak of the devil, you thought to yourself when Rollo takes a step forward after excusing himself from his companions. Fortunately, Grim tugs on your pants with his little paw to get you going. Your friends are already leaving to go to another area. Once again, he watches you go with his beloved fabric in your pocket.
Would the others notice that he hasn't brought out his handkerchief since lunch yet?
Just to rub some salt in the wound, you face him one last time to stick your tongue out.
He glares at you like his vein could burst at any moment.
...
You spent much of your afternoon revisiting shopkeepers you met yesterday and finding new stalls that you missed during the festival. Professor Trein passed by at some point to check on your group and was glad to see everyone immersed in the city's culture. You have completely forgotten about the "souvenir" in your pocket. Hours pass until the familiar chime of the Bell of Salvation rings throughout the city.
The sun has already set. The orange-red hue of the sky is gone and drifting into a softer lavender. It won't be long before it's completely dark. It's about to be dinner soon and you have already returned to Noble Bell's campus. The others tell you not to get lost when you slink out of the group to find a restroom.
That soft light seeps through the windows of the hallway. It's exactly at this moment that you remember the item in your pocket as this was where you and Rollo left off earlier. All the other students are clamoring in the main hall and you can hear it from where you're standing.
If it was possible, maybe he could forget about what you did to him today. It's soft in your hand as you take it out and lean against the stone wall.
You've grown accustomed to being seen as beneath all of your peers because of your inability to cast magic. You were mocked and cast aside here and there, and it was only a few months into the academic year when Grim would start defending you.
Rollo was the first one to express concern over your predicament. You remember vividly how you two first met, down to the way the palm of his hand felt when he shook yours... but the chaos that followed not long after ruins the memory a little.
A mage that scorned other mages over the use of magic was definitely new, and you're going to have to add this to your long list of experiences in this world you weren't born in. Compared to the others you have spent most of the academic year with up until this point, you only just met Rollo when everything went downhill in a day. You're curious about the warmth and coldness in your heart happening simultaneously as you thought deeply about him.
Maybe at another time, the crimson flowers never bloomed and the party would have gone on like normal. You two could have gotten to know each other better otherwise and shared a much more comfortable dance. The novelty of having someone new in your life whether he was a friend or foe will wear off soon enough, and maybe none of this would ever be spoken about again...
...Yet when you think about the possibility that you two almost never met, something in you stills. You absent-mindedly press the handkerchief to your lips the same way he would as a way to comfort yourself. Sure, he hurt your friends, but it's not like your friends haven't been constantly at each other's throats either. This isn't exactly new to you and there's even something funny about the absurdity of it all. Maybe you really have gone mad.
You tap into your inner middle schooler with a crush and hope you could keep this forever after that indirect kiss warmed you up a bit, but you're careless.
"You really thought you could escape me?" A mocking voice gets you out of your head as a strong presence stands right in front of you.
A choked noise comes out of your throat and you immediately pull your hands away from your mouth, desperately hoping he didn't see what you were doing just now. Your eyes have nowhere to go but toward his gaze, and it feels like you just dug your grave deeper. When did he get here? You ask yourself that as if you weren't yearning to see him again just now.
Even if you wanted to say anything, let alone his name, it doesn't seem like coherence is an option.
"Now hand it over. You shouldn't be stealing what doesn't belong to you." Did he really need to be this close? You clutch the handkerchief a bit more strongly and he catches onto your knuckles turning white from the force you're gripping it with.
It feels like the fever you woke up with was returning, along with all the sirens blaring in your head to actually move already. You still have a chance to run and keep this game going for longer, but you can't help but succumb to him. Being in front of Rollo like this combined with the silhouette his uniform gives him makes you feel so small.
"Give."
That was definitely a command, and his voice was firm. But when you look at him, he doesn't seem too mad at you, his grimace from this afternoon aside. Your heart skips a beat from how focused he is on you, but a part of you reasons that he merely wants his personal belonging back. You don't break eye contact with him even as he places a hand out in front of you, waiting for his handkerchief to be placed on it.
Instead of doing what he wants, you scoff and unfold it right in front of him. You haven't lost yet. There's still something you can do, and you have to do it fast before someone walks in on you two. You steel your nerves and finally speak.
"Why should I? I want to keep it as a memento of my time here."
Before he could retort, you wrap it around his neck and pull him closer to you. Rollo looks at you with his mouth agape. Once again, you have him absolutely mesmerized (or appalled) with your boldness. You're starting to become obsessed with getting on his nerves. It's fortunate that he didn't see what you were doing with his handkerchief because now you're intent on giving him the real thing.
You don't know how much he's thought of you today since yesterday, and this is the closest he's gotten to you the way he's always wanted, more than when you two waltzed together.
It's as though you're leaning in for a kiss, but Rollo is too staggered to respond to that like it was one. He hasn't moved at all.
I want to keep you in my pocket next, you don't say out loud, but he could feel the possessiveness in your actions all the same.
Your lips barely brush against his when you immediately pull away instead of what you initially planned to do. The last thing he sees is your light-hearted grin when you pull his hat down and shove it to his face. A perfect distraction for you to slink away. Rollo finally stands back and gasps at what just happened while you're already escaping once again. He hurriedly fixes himself and pulls the loose handkerchief away from his neck. You can see in the low light that the tip of his ears has become a shade of pink along with his cheeks, even if he was peeved.
"See you during dinner, Rollo!" You wave and turn to walk away from the man who was still standing there absolutely flabbergasted.
He'll certainly have a lot to say the next time you two find each other alone. Maybe when that happens, you'll actually kiss him.
Rollo is looking forward to that as well, though hopefully, you're not going to forget that your action today warrants punishment...
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nights-at-crystarium · 8 months
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You know what, I assume that people always read my pinned, or notice the pointer "new reader? start here" in every new Fragments' episode. I might be deluding myself. So hi hello lemme TALK ABOUT MY COMIC.
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Before I get too rambly (and I mean RAMBLY), here's a quick intro. Fragments is a comic focused on feels and slice of life, made by a queer guy, aiming to ~character study~ the main cast (Vivi, Raha, Alisaie, Feo Ul) and fill in the gaps in canon (or linger in canon moments that needed more air imo), the tone ranging from angst to fluff to meme. Good punches require a good windup, so please don't expect angst anytime soon :3c
The story's segmented (fragmented, heh) into episodes. Episodes 1-11 take place in ARR, you can enjoy them with no worry about spoilers. Episode 12 onward is ShB, with all the spoilers and lorebending.
My storytelling style assumes you haven't only played through ShB, but know it like the back of your hand, i.e. it's for nerds and thinkers. Of course there's plenty of silly moments that don't require any deep knowledge, but the overarching story does. Often I skip canon events, only hinting that they took place, simply because I don't wanna retell the msq 1:1, I've got plenty of original scenes waiting to be drawn. You're in for a treat if you like obsessing over emotional and moral implications of things. And, yes, this's a story about a morally grey mc. Don't expect to be spoon-fed "and this's why that thing's bad, kids".
Currently I've outlined all the main story beats up until post EW, so it's like, not being winged as I go. Yes I refine things here and there, but I know where I'm going. I'm going ham!!!! With the lorebending post ShB. Initially I didn't plan to, but the more I learned about Vivi and personally grew as a writer, the more courage I got to "divorce" from canon. The general xiv story may still be good wherever it's headed, but it's not suited for an established wolgraha, so I'm making food for myself.
Everyone imagines the lil scenes from their wol's life, I'm taking that a tiiiiiny step further. Fragments tells a cohesive story that's looking to be the longest project at least in our corner. I can and will hyperfixate on this for years.
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I started out just like many others, being hit with ShB like a truck, I wanted to put a catboy under a microscope and rotate him forever. Although I'd already been drawing for decades, I didn't have the comic-making skills yet, or eloquence to write the dialogue, so I spent the first half of 2022 self-studying, just because I needed a mouth to be able to scream about my ship.
Vivi didn't exist prior to my obsession with Exarch. He was made for this, he started out as a reagent (or a foil, now that I know fancy writing terms) for a rich and fun chemistry, and keep myself entertained for years, first and foremost.
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Me, a fool: okay let's make a guy that falls in love with Exarch in this particular moment, what kinda life must he have led to- Me: ....oh no
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The chemistry quickly bubbled up and exploded in my face, involving not only Exarch, but other characters (first as a means to subtly tell about Vivi, then they also demanded their own screentime), and here I am, sitting with a massive script on my hands, drawing my blorbos every day. Thanks for enabling that btw.
I care about characters a lot. I ask a lot of whys and hows. I'm critical-minded and burned on many bad stories that did their characters dirty, and I wanna be an opposing example. What I'm doing is extremely ambitious and risky, yes, but I can only invite you to tag along and see if I stick to my word.
The internet's a cruel and unforgiving place nowadays, and here I am, pitting my passion against what feels like decaying humanity. I'm making this comic to keep myself happy above all else, being sincere and cringe because life's too short to be anything else.
Thanks for reading this, and if you haven't yet, read Fragments here!
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sister-of-hitoshi · 2 months
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The guy in trench-coat
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Word count: 707 ; Genre: Fluff
Anime: Mr villain's day off
Character: Warumono-san/Mr villain
Note: This is my first time writing, finishing and posting a fanfic...please be kind about my mistakes TvT (Btw you can imagine yourself in the little girl's place (⁠•⁠ ⁠▽⁠ ⁠•⁠;⁠)<3)
"Panda-san!! Hereee!!!! Look here!!!"
You were again swarmed by a throng of little devils.
It was a hot sultry day in mid-June. And every passing minute felt hotter than the last. Especially if you were wearing a thick armour of impenetrable material, ready to go to war against the little devils of humanity with the cuteness of the armour being your only weapon. But hey, the pay for participating as the solo warrior of cuteness was pretty reasonable, and despite the challenging conditions, you just couldn't find it in yourself to be angry at your cutsy panda costume.... curse it's cuteness! Nobody till date seemed to understand the extent of your love for these adorable begins, not even when they saw your humble abode festooned with an overbearing amount of panda merch.
With your head in the clouds and over-exaggerated gestures towards the kids, you had almost forgotten your purpose of deliberately loosing each game of stone-paper-scissors so that they could stop bothering you- you mean- win prizes. However, never did you expect a handsome, full grown man in a trench coat to appear in front of you to play the game as well. This snapped you back to reality as you gaped at him for a few seconds straight, not quite believing this handsome aloof looking dude has willingly come into the kid's play area without an ounce of embarrassment. You immediately understood the gesture though, you immediately figured that he likes pandas as much as you do, and finding a person of similar interest after such a long time had made your day a lot better; it made you extremely happy. So much happy that even during your break you had gone looking for him inside that heavy armour of cuteness. So so happy that you missed him after your work had ended for the day. It was evening now, and there were less and less people in the zoo now. You finally opened the headpiece of your costume and sat on a nearby bench, gazing at the orange sky. Tired and drenched with sweat you had exclaimed to yourself out loud that you missed him, and that "the guy in trench coat seemed very nice", when suddenly there was a shadow looming over you, with a napkin in hand, the shadow of the very person you had thought of all day. The very person you had wanted to meet again. Gaping at him you took the handkerchief, suddenly feeling very embarassed about your sweat drenched face.
"Thank you. The work you do must be tiring."
"Why are you thanking me? I should be the one thanking you" You turned to him, offering a gentle smile and some space as he sat beside you.
"You said that I am nice."
Oh-
"Haha, I feel so." You blushed in embarrassment
He had heard me-
"You must love pandas?" You tried to continue the conversation, for some reason you didn't want to let this opportunity go.
"I do." He said, offering a smile in return.
You looked at him and weighed your options, finally going with: "I have some free panda merch with me, which I wouldn't mind sharing with someone who seems to share my interests...would you be alright with it?" You fished inside your costume pockets and found a panda keychain, immediately taking his hand in yours and placing it on his palm.
Met with silence you looked at him and offered a sincere smile, cheeks tinged red due to both the internal and external heat.
His speechlessness was broken by him suddenly holding your hands and offering you a sincere 'thank you'. "I'll cherish it" he replied in return as well, letting go of your hands and standing up. Not wanting it to end, you immediately stood up as well, and blurted out "M-My name is Y/N, and I'll be still here for week so you can come whenever you like...umm please let's meet again! We can discuss so much about pandas!!" You had basically said the first thing that had come to your mind without much thought, and as soon as you started doubting everything you had said so far, you heard a "Sure thing" and saw him smile.
You were sure of it. You had found the one.
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sexydreamgirl · 10 months
Note
I finally gave up on the void as a means of manifestation and wanted to share it somewhere. It's been 9 months since I discovered the void (I was introduced to it through reddit and joined tumblr because of it. I don't regret it as I came to learn states and found amazing loa blogs through it) and it's liberating to finally let it go. My journey was full of hoping, feeling lack and frustration and putting in lots of effort (through methods/routines/challenges) with nothing to show for it. Even when I didn't put the void on the pedestal, nothing worked.
I recently took a break from the void and sincerely put time and effort into understanding states and the law of assumption and it's been so freeing to truly know that I can have everything I want now. I'm having so much fun and I finally feel peace and fulfillment (in part because I no longer look to the 3D for validation, nothing there can trigger or upset me anymore because I know my imagination is the real reality and I already have the things that I want). I've had more success (yes including physical results though I'm no longer relying on that to define me, who I am in imagination will always be my source of reality) with states in this short amount of time than the whole time I was so fixated on succeeding in the void. I realised that the reason the void no longer resonates is because it's conditioning my desires (your post here is perfect btw! https://www.tumblr.com/sexydreamgirl/722421591825334272/what-exactly-is-conditioning-your-desires-or). It's perpetually delaying fulfillment and putting myself in a state of lack until the condition is met (entering the void) which honestly just feels awful and no wonder I used to be so triggered by the 3D, because the whole void obsession here is so 3D-centric with all the routines/methods/challenges/subliminals etc. I had even tried applying states before to be a void master (entering it easily/waking up in the void) but it didn't work nor does it really make sense because I didn't feel fulfilled in imagination by it.
It's not the condition being met that fulfills you but having your desires now that does. To all the people so determined to enter the void, I ask you, if you could have all your desires right now without the void, would you take it and never look back? I'm going to bet that the majority will wholeheartedly say yes right away because again, it's not the void that you want, it's the having of your desires now because that's what will bring you fulfillment (and yes whatever you want the void to manifest can be achieved through states/loa because everything is imagination). I actually remember reading your post & aphroditeapprenticee's about the void obsession a while back and scoffing at it because I didn't understand the law but now I do and you're right. After giving up on the void and learning & applying states, I've come way further than I would if I kept clinging onto it and now I have my own personal proof of my power in my imagination/consciousness and that gives me stronger confidence and faith than anything else. I don't need the void to have the things I want. I'm really happy with where I am at now and know there's no stopping me now. Thanks for reading! :)
I need all the void obsessed people to read this thoroughly and take notes. This is precisely what we've all been saying. Thank you so much for sharing your experience, my love ♡
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cyberkitty1 · 9 months
Text
Part 3 Twin AU
inspo : @moodysunflowerbaby
you have only been able to think about your last reaction with them. was that the last time you would talk? will yoi ever be friends again? are they ok? why couldn’t i have been a better friend? it plagued tour mind, flying above you like a storm cloud. you wanted to talk with them but how could you? there was nothing you could think of to fix this mess.
you were sitting in your room watching a movie when you hear a quite nock on your door. absentmindedly you call “come in” you didnt even turn to see who it was. “ hey” you heard behind you causing confusion. your parents never say “hey” and the voice was oddly familiar? you turn to see miles and mylo standing with a plastic bag in hand.
all you could do was stare “ could we talk?” miles asked. you were still caught off guard so you simply nodded pausing the movie and sitting up. the both take a seat on the edge of the bed. you sat in silence for what felt like forever till you heard mylo sigh “ im sorry for jumpin to a conclusion the way i did, i felt the a jerk the moment i left. you onyl wanted us to past with the best score and if miles could have helped i should have been open to the idea. im sorry” he says sincerely gazing into your eyes searching for what you could have been feeling.
“ im so sorry as well i had no right to say that, i was upset and i just didn’t know how to deal with my emotions i didn’t mean to upset you, or take it out on you could you forgive me, forgive us?”
you stay silent “ why didnt you just tell me about what happened, i would have been there for you guys. i thought thats what friends do for each other i tell you guys whats going on with me but the moment i ask about you its like im not allowed to know. and miles you asked me if i wanted to hang out after school and literally stood me up? and then i saw you hanging out with some blond girl hours later? why would you do that?”
you say with pain lacing your voice. mylo was kind of shocked he had no idea about this. miles sighs “ i habnt seen her in a long time we were just catching up and i didnt mean to forget i was stressed and busy im so so sorry.”
you couldn’t forgive him just like that… could you? “ it really hurt. and i don’t deserve to be treated like that, but if the both of you will be honest with me” you pause “ we can be friends again” you say with a soft smile “ thank you we appreciate it, and so will our mom” miles laughs “ oh so she made you guys come here? i knew it there is no way you came here willingly.” they laugh before realizing what they brought “ oh and we bought you these on the way here” mylo says handing you a bag of your favorite snacks “ thank you, you guys didn’t have to do this” “ wellllll we kind of did” miles says before scratching his neck.
“ so we good right?” mylo asks “ yea were good”
the end
btw you end up with mylo having a happy ever after 😊
.
.
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🏷️: @soseoulol @shoyofroyoyoyo @pandoragalora @miles-42-morales @heavisdelulu @lilcassipuff @levanneisdumb @thebaddest @sussybaka10 @itsznanabanana @malllywally @missyysyx @c4nth3lp1t @sgmianne @miles4hour @ulovejayy @onginlove @buckleyverse @lexixiii @swaqlover @yoursidehismain @florencepughswife030196 @lethycia @edgyficuselastica @druiggf @onsimpshii @lovely-horror-show @vivsamortentia @leighs-gallery @remuslupinsno1slut @steve-harringtons-bitch @shurisbbymama @bunnybabylovesstuff @karmascute @c4rine @janaeby @mookiebutt @paraccosm @zkristuz @reflectionsinrealtime @mindymeeksrules @nagi3seastorm @popeheywardssecretgf @be3_Fl0w3er @piopio @hoodypunpurri @hiyoo-o @enchanting-violet @fiannee @itsnotino @inluvwithneteyam
also i will be deleting the post regarding the anonymous hater because my page is supposed to be filled with happy thoughts and POSITIVITY!!
i also feel me replying gave them a confidence boost or something and i don’t want then to attack anyone else.
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littledigits · 4 months
Text
thoughts on the cut episodes and ppls reactions 'n stuff
Since it was confirmed that a few more episodes of Hilda were written but cut, I do think the reaction of people finding this out is really interesting and not just because its fairly common in the industry and isint a sign of anything bad necessarily. I mean heck, in a weird way being behind the scenes and then seeing how people interpret things, what they take as important, what they think is a thread…all of that is interesting. When your job is basically trying to get people to pick up what you're putting down storywise its kind of a neat topic, because everyone communicates in their own way.
BTW before I keep going this is not a post to say dont crit/vent/complain/whatever about whatever the heck you want in hilda or any media, you do you. I think peoples honest takes are fascinating (said in victoria van gale voice) and even just people speaking their mind shows that they are interested and they care so that matters. Also not one singular post triggered this, its just been on my mind as I surface level read things so no stressies.
When It comes to the cut episodes, I'm seeing some people assume that whatever was cut would have fixed some of the crits they may have had about the season..and who knows, maybe yes? But I'd say ultimately probably not. Not because they dont include things that people want to see, or may have some topics people want expanded on ..but because thats just impossible in the grand scheme of things.
I mean this applies to shows in general, not just hilda. Every person who watches a show has their own idea of what the show represents to them. For some of its more of the surface events or characters where as others connect it with a deeper emotion. A lot of people respond to different tones of the episodes, which there are many. Some people prefer the one off adventures that stand alone as their own stories and others want to see more of a stronger through line. Some may see a new character and expect a new arc and thread, while others wonder why we couldn't've used a previously introduced character. Some may read between the lines more and others may take what is presented as very straight forward and literal …and no one is WRONG, because our big wrinkly brain meats all have their own tastes and ways of imputing information.
Television animation is rife with factors that actually futz with the quality and ability of the team to make a beautiful, amazing product like EVERY DAY. The script process and what goes into production is just one. The team is made up of many creatives all with their own varied experiences and voices just like the audience. In order for people to have their own voices and say, you are going to end up with some things that hit better then others, especially if the team is allowed to grow and experiment and play a little. Hilda has always been a show where we've been able to have a lot of creative say, and i think that sincerity comes through ! but with the sincerity and that humanity, it also means that there are going to be things that arnt going to make sense in the grand scheme of things lol. Even the writers and creators and producers have differing opinions on what to explore and dive into, probably more so then fandoms haha. Having more episodes may scratch some itches but not all, HECK, those episodes being cut could have re-allocated resources to other areas that helped elevate your fav ep of the season ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ who knows! Schrodinger's episodes! (also ngl I was having cold sweats over the scope of some of them as cool as they were. The season may have been shorter but it was intense..it takes a long time to do stuff that looks that clean and crisp)
Imperfect art is very human! Do the best you can at the time with the factors you have. I was given so much trust and freedom on my episodes, and I was just happy to do something fun that allowed me and my team to grow and learn. I was fucking STOKED to get a one off story because it was way less pressure for me to take my next step directing cuz just doing the thing is a feat. Any sincerity you feel cant come through if that means we're afraid that we cant make mistakes, or do a story choice ppl wont vibe with. All you can do is do the best you can, see if people are picking up what you're putting down, and grow from it for next time.
Anyway, just a thought ramble. Its not to say do or dont do this or think this way blah blah. I just love that storytelling is messy and complex and everyones gonna take it a lil differently, especially if you have a team where you allow lots of voices to have input. It is all just a big experiment to see if people leave with a particular experience by putting your resources into the things you have that matter, and try you best to distract from burnt edges or patched up holes that happened throughout the process of making the dang thing lol.
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lloydfrontera · 5 months
Note
wait lmao what I didn't know there was such a skip. I'm sorry this is comedy to me. so you're telling me they have this crazy ass dimension-jumping shenanigans with Javier tearing up as he finally finds Lloyd, his best friend, the most important person in his life, while it's a mutual statement for the both of them, and then we get no dialogue. and skip to Lloyd getting shoved into a hetero romance with no build up. sorry I can't believe this is real. this sounds like a joke and I choose to treat is as such. this is the most hilarious ending and the marriage now feels even more out of place hdufiskaoa9o
OH MY FUCKING GOD RIGHT?!?!?!! it is weird isn't it???? i'm not being crazy for feeling like it's a weird ass choice??? i felt like i was going insane!! i swear to god i felt like i was being gaslighted when i read it!!! there was no way that was the ending!! there was no way that ch 401 ended with one of the most romantic and heartfelt scenes i have ever read and then the next chapter just????? did a time skip where none of that was acknowledged and lloyd was just fucking married off to alicia??? completely off-screen if i may add!
i made a post about it before but i simply need to rant all over again oh my god
general warning for spoilers because i'm about to dissect the entire novel through a llojavi lens
AGAIN. SPOILERS WARNING FOR THE ENDING OF TGED.
i literally cannot express how much of a mid fuck it is when you realize that lloyd and javier's relationship is very much Thee Slowburn of tged. like. this is an indisputable fact. even if you don't think there's anything romantic between them, which, holy fuck that's such a fucking reach one must be really be in denial to not see it but whatever, even then you simply cannot argue that their relationship isn't the most important one in the entire story.
javier is the very first person lloyd talks to in the first chapter. he's the first person that welcomes him into his new life. he's the one he has to work the hardest to endear himself to. he's the one he spends the most time with. he's the one that follows him around literally everywhere he goes.
from the very beginning their relationship is given a special attention that few other things get in the plot.
through the entire story we get constant moments of them getting to know each other as people and getting closer as a result. they're constantly in each other's thoughts, which is very natural as they're in each other's company almost 24/7. it is actually hard to find a chapter where they not talking to each other or at the very least together. i cannot emphasize enough how,,, enmeshed and entangled they are with one another as characters. i mean it when i say they are a set do not separate them.
it takes lloyd 222 chapters to even admit to himself that javier is his friend and that he wants to keep him safe not because he's the protagonist of the story or useful to him or anything like that but simply because he cares for him and doesn't want him to die. because, and i quote, 'he thought he'd always be with javier for the rest of his life. just like now, he thought they'd spend all their time together moving forward. and like they always did, they'd be by each other's side during hard times. happy moments. relaxed days. they'd share all these moments as they exchanged insults and corny jokes, growing old as a lazy lord of a fiefdom and his knight. lloyd always thought so. the thought just came naturally, without much effort from him, much like breathing. lloyd believed that javier would always remain by his side as that was how it had been until now.' (ch222) <- actual textual quote. btw. if you even care.
and then. it takes javier 320 chapters, a hundred chapters more, to realize that he cares about lloyd much more than a knight cares about his lord's son. because he, and once again i quote, 'is [his] true master in [his] heart. lloyd was his friend. and now, javier wanted to protect lloyd. he would sincerely protect him with everything he had.' <- this is, if i may add some context, said as javier is fighting against a goddamn angel, literally heaven's will, to protect lloyd. after figuring out lloyd is a fake. that he's been lying to javier for several years about almost everything including who he is. and yet. this is what javier feels for him.
they are the definition of a slowburn. it takes them this long to even admit they are friends. and this is with us getting to see them together almost every chapter of the way. we get to see every step of the way. we see their relationship develop with all manner of detail.
and then. when you think you cannot get even more dramatic about them. guess what the major conflict of the plot is. guess fucking what the last obstacle for the story to get a happy ending is.
let me set the scene for you:
lloyd has just finished the jewel of truth, the artifact that will get him the answer he seeks on how to stop the restoration of fate, how he can stop destiny from making the original events of the novel come true and destroy everything he has worked and kill everyone he loves. he has javier at his side, who rushed to join him underwater to make sure he was safe and sound while using it, and he can't help but fondly think how lucky he is to have javier, who is loyal and true and has never abandoned him.
a quote of lloyd's thoughts in this scene:
That’s why, you bastard. I’m going to take care of you until the very end. Once I, your wise and older friend, solve the restoration of destiny problem, you’re going to enjoy the rest of your life by my side in peace. [...] He smiled at Javier and thought to himself. You’re my only friend, Javier. I couldn’t have overcome all the obstacles in front of me without your help. So, my trustworthy and reliable comrade, stick with me until I become a lazy lord and you become my personal guard. I hope we will be able to grow old together… -ch 327
as you can see. he's once again planning on spending the rest of his life with javier. canonically. not even an interpretation this is straight up textual i cannot emphasize enough
and then. the jewel of truth gives him the answer. how to stop the restoration of fate. it's very easy. very simple solution in fact.
either lloyd or javier have to die or otherwise vanish from existence.
that's it. there can only be one protagonist in the world and because of everything lloyd has done he's now being acknowledged by fate as the protagonist of the story along with javier. which cannot stand.
so that's the only thing stopping lloyd from getting his happy ending. he just,,, has to either kill his best friend or kill himself.
let me rephrase this from a narrative perspective: the major conflict of the story is now lloyd facing either the choice of letting everything he's achieved and everyone he loves be destroyed. losing his best friend, the person he cares the most about and has been developing an extremely close relationship through the entire plot. or dying himself.
lloyd of course then spends the rest of the plot trying to find a way to avoid having to die. that's literally what the rest of the novel is about. lloyd trying by all means possible seeking a way to not having to die. because at no point, does he ever consider letting javier die in his place even an option. he doesn't want to die of course, but he never saw javier sacrificing himself as the solution to that problem.
the entire conflict of the last part of the novel is lloyd finding a way for him and javier to be able to remain together without either of them having to sacrifice their lives for the other.
he doesn't succeed.
they end up in a battle down in hell where both of them try to give for one another leading to this absolutely delightful parallel
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so fucking tasty oh my god i still go crazy when i see this set of illustrations actually
lloyd wins btw. he gets to sacrifice his life for javier. to javier's absolute heartbreak.
but lloyd doesn't die. he does end up stuck in korea tho, a place he would've rather died than go back to, so he has that going on for him. he's back in his goshiwon, absolutely heartbroken and without knowing what to do.
and then we end up with that scene. javier at his doorstep, having crossed dimensions, tearing up as he sees him and tells him how much he's missed him, looking at him with this face:
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now. let's pause here. let's take a moment. take in everything i've just explained. everything that has happened to get to this point.
be honest with me. what would you say is the most natural way the story can progress from here.
take into account all that i have recounted and that i skipped so many other things of the same nature so we wouldn't be here all day.
what do you as a reader would expect to happen next
well, i'll tell you:
cut to black we're now an unspecified amount of time later lloyd has already had all the important conversations we've been waiting to see the entire time off screen and is now preparing himself for his wedding to alicia that we will also not get to see by the way
and you know what the funniest thing is. you know what is the cherry on top.
fucking guess who's the last person we see him talk with.
guess who's the person he ends the novel sharing a smile with.
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yeah. Yeah.
i really don't know what else to say. i don't know how else to explain how insane this feels. how incredibly dissonant it comes across. i don't want to use the worse gaslighting like this but it's the closest word i can find to describe what it feels like. i feel like i'm being told something is happening when i can see with my own eyes it is not. or rather that i'm seeing something happen and i'm being told that no it is not and that i'm making it up.
i don't know what bk moon was going for. i really don't. especially when this is what he has to say about chapter 401 aka the chapter with javier coming to find lloyd in korea
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clearly he feels very strongly about this scene too. it's the one he's been wanting to show the most, he must have analyzed it from every angle possible, must have put special care to get across what he wanted to convey with it.
so why does it feel like the last true chapter of the novel is meant to,,, undercut the feeling of it?? it almost feels as if the last chapter is telling us 'yeah yeah those two are extremely devoted to each other and would and have given their lives for one another and plan on growing old at each other's sides but don't worry :) it's nothing more than them being pals :) just two guys being really good friends :) see, lloyd is even getting married to a woman that's his real happy ending he's not gay or anything :)'
and this is not me saying that two friends cannot be devoted to each other. absolutely not of course friends can love each other platonically and that be more than enough to justify their devotion to one another.
but. it feels weird when the entire novel is dedicated to building up the relationship between lloyd and javier, taking so much time to make us really feel like their relationship is growing at a realistic pace, take almost 3/4 of the novel to even make them come to terms with how much they care for one another, spend actual years following their development,,, and then make lloyd just marry someone else. someone the novel really didn't spend enough time with to justify him developing feels for her.
this is not a diss against alicia i have nothing against her i just don't... buy that lloyd developed romantic feelings for her. much less that he acted on them that easily.
this is a man who took 222 chapters and several years in-universe to even accept that javier, the person he spent all day with, with whom he spoke almost every single day, who he had risked his life for and had been saved by several times at that point, was even his friend.
and now i'm expected to believe he's in love with someone else who, by comparison, he meets a couple of times and spends a little amount of time with.
well. i don't! it's not in character, it wasn't properly built up in the text and truthfully they don't have enough chemistry to make up for it.
i don't know what happened there. i don't know why bk moon decided to add a romance when the novel didn't need it. i don't know why he chose to make it happen between two characters that didn't have a relationship as deep as the one he spent the entire novel building up and promoting as the most important one. which may i add was between his two protagonists. y'know. the ones the novel is supposed to be centered around.
i don't know. i don't know what happened. i don't know if it was censorship, last minute panic, fear of opposition or rejection or actual obliviousness to what he had written looked like, i simply do not know.
i really hope it wasn't homophobia tho that would absolutely suck lmao
but uh. yeah. i do think the ending is very funny when you put it like that askhdsjkfds
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makeste · 7 months
Text
BnHA Chapter 403: (But Just That One Part, Because I'm Not Caught Up)
Previously on BnHA: Truly no idea, but it kind of looks like Katsuki is riding some sort of spaceship, and everyone has gotten really, really sparkly. I see you all have been busy these past 22 months. Great job, keep it up.
Today on BnHA: “So it’s come to my attention that a truly shocking number of you are only reading this manga for a single character.” – Horikoshi Kouhei, October 2023.
so. where to start, lol
I guess I should open with an apology, because I am about to make a fairly selfish decision! what I am about to do, is post a reaction to Bakugou’s Return To The Manga. however, because I’m not caught up, I’m going to be reading this one scene completely out of context without knowing anything about what is going on. which means that I’m going to be missing out on god knows how many nuances and details, which means this reaction post will be short on those things as well. so basically I’m prioritizing my own personal gratification as a fan here even though it is 100% going to affect the quality of my reaction blog, and for that I genuinely am sorry. eventually I will finish catching up, and when that happens I will post a proper reaction with all the trimmings. that’s just how it is for now though
anyway so with that said, basically what I’ve done now is I have gone to the scanlation website, and clicked on chapter 403, and then scrolled down through most of the chapter while sort of half-looking away from my screen with my eyes squinted so that everything is mostly blurry, until I finally reached the big double-page spread with you-know-who doing his thing. namely, standing around on this giant glowy cereal bowl from the future, which appears to be either hovering up in the air, or slowly crashing onto the ground
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and this right here, is exactly what I was rambling on about a moment ago. you guys I really am sorry to be doing this, because even I can tell this should be solemn and sincere moment of awe and excitement and relief. but because I completely lack any context whatsoever for wtf is happening, most of the dramatic impact is lost on me, and to tell the truth right now this page is a hell of a lot funnier than it has any right to be
like, so Deku. this boy is crying all the tears. I recklessly scrolled back up one page to see why, and it appears the answer is Because All Might Is About To Fucking Die (which, !??!?), so that’s actually VERY fucked up, and I’m sure I will have PAGES AND PAGES OF WORDS to say about all of that once I finally catch up properly. that is very traumatic and emotional and I will probably cry a lot about it
BUT, that being said, I just need you guys to know that without that context, Deku standing here with his giant head all >:O in the foreground, while Kacchan appears out of nowhere glowing with the power of a thousand suns and standing on top of this giant floating Smash Bros level that Nezu maybe probably built with his nine million dollars, is one of the wildest fucking things I’ve seen in my life. I feel like an accidental time traveler. you know when a character has one of those crazy prophetic dreams showing them chaotic glimpses of the future, and they’re just standing there all “???” because they have absolutely no clue what the fuck is going on? that is what it’s like right now
heh but there he is
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“did you miss me, Izuku. back by popular demand after being on IR for 14 goddamn months. rebuilt better and stronger than ever thanks to the heroic spaghetti man wrapped tightly around my heart keeping me alive. just BnHA things. just a flesh wound. by the way, it’s me, Kacchan, just in case you didn’t recognize me on account of my still being really far away and completely covered by smoke, and also you thinking I was dead. here let me give you a close up to make this easier”
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“fuck yeah. it really is me, btw. just in case you still couldn’t tell on account of me also being like 100x prettier than you remembered. guess it’s just that blindingly handsome character development”
also, “the end of an era” um hello, yes, what?? just what exactly have I missed here with all this All Might stuff?? because apparently All Might just prior to this was in some sort of mortal danger, is what I’ve been hearing, because everyone keeps posting excitedly about Kacchan showing up in the nick of time to save him? which incidentally makes my heart so incredibly fucking warm omg. it’s what both of them need AND deserve
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why is everything so goddamn sparkly right now. this is like a Sailor Moon battle over here
love that look of instant recognition and shock and overpowering relief in Deku’s eyes though. also has he really been fighting in this cracked out OFA-overflowing mode this entire time?? he looks just like he did on the cover of volume 37. I still haven’t seen his actual canon reaction to the “death”, and I haven’t been keeping tabs on his fight with AFO??/Tomura?? at all, but I’m glad it looks to have been as emotional as I could have hoped
aw fuck yeah
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his precious card. I’m now almost as invested in the saga of the All Might card as I am in all the rest of this. it’s all beat to hell, but somehow still made it through in the end. just like him
oh. my. g
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protect them.
protect them all.
so is the reason this fight is so sparkly just because of OFA symbolism, then?? or is there something else happening here?? goddammit, okay, I‘m gonna very carefully scroll back to the beginning of the chapter, because I’m 100% positive there is some sort of deeply meaningful symbolic thing going on here and I’ll be damned if I miss out on it, spoilers or no
-- oh my goD??!
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1. BABY ALL MIGHT WHAAAAAAT
IS THAT HIS MOM???? OH MY GOD DID WE GET ALL MIGHT BACKSTORY. oh my god. oh god. no actually don’t tell me, ahhhh I cannot fucking wait to read this properly, holy shit
so did something wind up happening to Mighty Mom later on then?? feels like it must have, since he wound up getting so attached to Nana? man I don’t want to think about any of that stuff after seeing this panel though :( just, damn it, why is this man’s whole entire life so goddamn fucking tragic
“the one thing I’ve done most is looking back to the path I took” my god I cannot wait to read this. only two short pages and I’m already buried miles deep into my All Might feels. came here for the triumphant Kacchan return and now I’m sitting here tearing up about All Might, god damn you Horikoshi YOU’VE STILL GOT IT. and I am STILL A SUCKER FOR ALL OF IT
anyway, so now back we go to the last couple of pages with this additional context, aaaaand...
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...and apparently I’m now full-on crying about All Might! (: well how about that. turns out when you read the manual and follow the instructions properly this series still works exactly as advertised. don’t mind me I’m just sitting here sobbing because everything is exactly what I wanted and I apparently don’t know how to deal with that!!
THEIR FEELINGS BECOME WHAT?!?!?!
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EVERYTHING IS EXACTLY WHAT I WANTED AND I’M GONNA BE A MESS ABOUT IT FROM NOW UNTIL THE END OF TIME BECAUSE LIFE IS GRAND!!
ARE ALL OF THESE WATERY SPARKLES LIKE. DEKU’S FUCKING TEARS LMAO OR WHAT. HOW IS KACCHAN IN THE SPLASH ZONE. HOW ARE HIS TEARS HOLDING UP THE SPACESHIP. I DON’T UNDERSTAND A GODDAMN THING BUT THIS IS NOW OFFICIALLY A SHOUJOU MANGA, I DON’T MAKE THE RULES
the urge to ruffle baby Deku and baby Kacchan’s hair is so goddamn powerful you don’t understand. this is PRIMAL. they are SO happy and SO good and perfect. I’m gonna fucking die
there’s not even any dialogue. what the fuck are they even gonna say. their expressions say it all and more. also they are being kind to me because they know I’m not caught up so they don’t want to spoil me any further, thank you my sons
lastly, I guess, because I don’t really have anything else to add now that my brain has fully turned to sappy mush: so uh. I truly have not the slightest clue how or why, but. does Kacchan have OFA though. and why is the answer, “yes he definitely does.” ???
like, I don’t understand it, but I confess that by now I have spoiled myself on the last few pages of chapter 362 for reasons (those reasons being “I finally gave in and looked at them on purpose, because I’d already seen most of them out of context here and there, and my willpower is only so strong”), and so I know that this boy was talking to vestige!Might, and as far as I’m aware that is 100% not possible unless he has some sort of connection to OFA in some way so yeah
and now here he on this last page being all Profoundly Connected with Deku while they gaze into each other’s eyes, and I can’t help but notice that said eyes are all explodey and they look a LOT like Deku’s actually. and on top of that we have all of this All Might symbolism that I’m still crying about, so like? ???
anyway so I’m not going crazy here right? like this is definitely a thing? for whatever reason?? unless you guys know something here that I don’t. in which case I actually am asking to be spoiled fully just this once, because at this point I just need to know one way or the other and I don’t care lol
anyway so that concludes my thoughts I guess! so now my absurdly ambitious goal is to speed read the manga this next week and hopefully at least catch up to Kacchan’s “death”, so that I can better understand what’s happening when I inevitably wind up spoiling myself for chapter 404 as well. the plan right now is to still type up my liveblog notes as I go, but to not worry about posting or editing anything in between chapters. so I’ll have a big backlog of chapter recaps which I’ll eventually get to uploading whenever I can, but in the meantime I can participate more in the fandom side of things. since I really want to share all of my endgame theories and so forth, but in order to do that I really need to find out just what the fuck is actually going on lol, so yeah
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okay this is for the "I say Havers"-meta anon because I feel a bit bad that I didn't give you what you wanted🙈
So we pick it up again after, the last post I showed you.
Captain says his line about the cover drive, Havers thanks him and then this happens :
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(Two btws: -I remember making one of my silly little lazy posts with "say something I'm giving up on you" to this image
-just found out whilst looking for the GIF: I actually can tell from Gifs that only have his facial expression what has been said to him and at which point we are in the scene,solely based on his expression😮 )
Sorry back to the meta:
Would you look at him. In the first scene we have with him Cap dismisses him by saying "carry on" and Havers gets back to his duties. But here Cap, all wrapped up in his feelings made room for a pause by not saying anything after his cricket comment.
Now Havers says this and of course he can't just leave,he has to be dismissed and my boy has places to be (north-africa). But this is clearly not him asking for further commands etc.
Look at his eyes completely fixed on Cap and his raised eyebrow and the movement of the head. It's simutaneously the gesture one makes to remind someone that it's their turn to speak or do something as well as it looks like he tries to not only encourage Cap but is trying to indicate that "If you have anything to say, now is the time". Basically it looks like he's desperately waiting/yearning/hoping that Cap will adress his feelings/confess his feelings. He's almost trying to nudge him mentally to spit something out. (Still believe His inner monologue here was "say something, say something, say something!")
But Cap just confirms that that's all and in this second Havers realises that Cap won't say anything. And look how dissapointed he looks because it's just not happening. He's giving up and very very briefly has to get his facial expression in check. he turns to leave
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(Excuse the screenshot quality I'm typing this on my phone and had to take this from YouTube)
So Cap now panicks a bit because this is probably the last conversation they'll be having and he at least has something to say that resembles a good bye or an I miss you just something to tell Havers what he means to him. So at the last minute:
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and of course Havers whips around with an expectant look the only difference is he does not look like he's screaming internally wondering If Cap will confess anymore. I guess because he's already in his stiff upper lip/professional mode because my god the man can hide his emotions Like 1000 times better than Cap. Also he has given up after Cap gave him emotional whiplash twice already in this conversation. But nonetheless there is still a faint hope which is shown by how fucking fast he turns towards him.
So the next part hast been said by others before. Cap tries to say something, his courage leaves him, he shakes his head to himself and settles for
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With this pleading look on his face of I dunno "please I mean it"? "please you have to understand/to see"? "Please believe me when I say"?
Wordwise though he's going the semi professional route of "I really liked working with you because I like you as a colleague"
So now Havers reaction which I for the longest time could not get. I mean i get the nod that's a "acknowledged....thank you ...you too... bye"
But the smile? So yeah now I gotta say first of all professional mode is on. But also in a way he got an "It's a shame that you're going, I wish you we're staying" but just not as a romantic confession. So he's smiling because at least he got that and it was sincere? Also happy that Cap did at least say something about his emotions towards him in the end?
seriously interpretations on that smile are very welcome.
Sorry this all is again incoherent babbling, but at least it's now about the right part of the scene.
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