#y’all should see the convos between me and star

[elliesbelle]

hiii lesbian whisperer, i hope ure doing fab today. i currently come to u seeking advise!! (don’t feel forced or rushed to reply to any of this btw, i’m kinda just ranting since i don’t have a lesbian whisperer irl. 😭)

but ummmm. basically there is this starbucks barista who worked inside the store i worked at and like. naturally i sort of developed a crush on her except i’m pretty sure she doesn’t know who i am lmao. but we have shared a few tiny interactions here and there (which i doubt she remembers. cuz like, i’m THE MOST introverted bitch u will ever meet) and like for context, i just suck at flirting with girls and holding long conversations with them bc it’s just not in my nature, which is HORRIBLE for me. anywayyy, we both don’t work there anymore, but one of my friends befriended a few of those starbucks baristas and they hang out as a group every monday, and she’s been telling me to join them bc she thinks i’ll get along with them since they like the same music as me and have similar humor. (and honestly i know deep down she is trying to put me on LOLL god bless her), but i said no at first bc i don’t do well in those types of settings (anddd she didn’t mention that my crush would be there! 🤣) but then recently i found out that she also hangs out with my crush on mondays! like, she’s a part of that group! my friend and her are, like, friends! so i was like, OH!

no one knows i have a crush on her. and honestly, i find it embarrassing telling my friends when i have a crush. i’m just not good at that stuff!!!

SO IF I DO JOIN THEM TMR IDK HOW TO ACT!?? like how am i supposed to get to know ONE person in a group setting if everyone already knows each other without making it obvious or creeping her out….? and then how am i supposed to like actually flirt with her and i guess make a good first impression…. ohmygod i am freaking out. 😀

thankfully i know that she’s bi so at least i have a chancee (omg im getting cocky arent i) but yeah i’m just so scared. 😔 being a socially awkward lesbian is not for the weak!!!

thank u for reading this far, any advise and/or advanced condolences are very much appreciated! LOL. and much love to u belle <3 i hope u know we appreciate having u on this app and on this earth SM! your page is like one of my comfort blogs fr. have a great rest of ur day! 💘💘

nawt theee lesbian whisperer 💀 (it’s true)

omg i hope you did join the group!! that sounds so exciting!! you don’t have to tell your friends that you have a crush on her if you don’t want to, but you can’t have anything happen if you don’t make a move!

my advice is when you do hang out with her in a group, definitely socialize with everyone else, but give her a little extra attention, yk? not in an obvious way, but kind of like, gravitate towards her? and to help with the nerves, just act friendly towards her for now! like, approach her like you would someone you’d like to be friends with. that way, you’ll get used to talking to her and get a feel of the vibe y’all have with each other (you can start out being like, “omg i think i know you, you used to work at this starbucks i would go to).

being a socially awkward lesbian def is hard, but unfortunately if you want a gf, you gotta take initiative! you got no choice, love, cause chances are that the other person you like won’t make advances either.

good luck babes! and lmk how it goes, if you’d like!

#literally that’s always my general lesbian advice in approaching your crushes #take initiative and be bold #y’all should see the convos between me and star #it’s me yelling at star to be bold and her not wanting to listen sldkfjdkls #anon #belle answers

[sortasirius]

“Gimme Shelter” and The Bomb

Living in the middle of clown town is always an adventure but they’re recently opened a five star restaurant that’s free to all residents so we’re eatin good lmao.

Wow.  Uh.  Wow.  Lots and lots and lots to unpack here.

This is.........long lmao

I mean.  Should we just talk about some of the *cough cough* married details we’ve got going on?  That picture of Cas from “Tombstone”?  Who took that? Who else COULD have taken that?  Why is it a printed photo that Cas just happens to have?  Why did it look like it was cut in half?

Okay, I also want to talk about the energy between Dean and Cas, and not the energy of two intensely married people.  We haven’t seen them together that much since 15x09 right?  I mean we’ve had bits here and there, but to me something still feels off.  I just can’t help but go back to the unresolved ending of their time in Purgatory (”I have to say something.” “You don’t have to say it, I heard your prayer.”).  It just feels like there’s awkwardness hanging in the air, like when Dean and Sam leave right when Cas gets back, or the way that Dean hangs up on him.  It feels like we’re supposed to be sus, which I most definitely am.  Things aren’t 100% fixed, even though they’d like us to believe that they are.

Baby man Jack?  “Marvelous Marvin the talking teddy, I have one!”

Also just,

“Can we wear matching ties?!”

“Yeah, blue’s a good color on you.”

I CRY.

I think it’s FASCINATING that Rowena is spending her time in Hell making things “boring” for demons, changing things. “People will end up where they belong.”  There is NO WAY that’s throwaway.

“Hello!  Where can I find the Kool Aid.”

Literal king.

There are a lot of ~parallels~ in this episode, a whole lot of callbacks, and not in the jokey oh hey remember that episode.  There are all very deliberate and coded carefully into the dialogue so that even people who watch casually and pay attention will pick up on them.

“We...dated.  Years ago, sort of.  More like we watched a lot of old movies together.”

Ok.

Which, nbd, same exact fucking episode as

Come on guys.  Just like.  Come on.  Davy.  My man.

Good to point out too that Davy Perez also wrote “Tombstone.”

I just want to take a second and appreciate that we at got this Amara this season.  No weird drama between her and Dean, just a literal badass who knows she’s a badass.  Dabb and co are going to save every poorly written character before this is over.

Cas’ fucking speech y’all. 

“I do know what blind faith is.  I used to just follow orders without question, and I did some pretty terrible things.  I would never look beyond the plan.  And then of course when it all came crashing down, I found myself lost.  I didn’t know what my purpose was anymore.  And then one day something changed, something amazing.  I...I guess I found a family.  And I became a father.  And in that, I rediscovered my faith.  And I rediscovered who I am.”

First of all, we deserved to see this from Cas.  We deserve to hear him talk about how much he’s grown, how much he’s changed from the “soldier” in season 4. 

Cas found who he was with Jack, with Sam, with Dean.  He found out he was a Winchester.  His love for others is so palpable this episode, the way he mother hens around Jack, the way he looks at Dean, I just completely adore him, and I loved being able to see him reflect on his own growth.

Okay, moving along to Amara and Dean’s convo...fuck man.  F U C K.

Dean’s pain in this scene.  His pain over Mary, over the lack of choice.  It’s so palpable, and I don’t think anything could have prepared me for Amara’s answer to his “Why?”

“I wanted two things for you, Dean.  I wanted you to see that your mother was just a person.  That the myth that you’d held on to for so long of a better life, a life where she’d lived was just that.  Myth. I wanted you to see that the real, complicated Mary was better than your childhood dream because she was real.  That now is always better than then.  That you could finally start to accept your life.”

“Hm.  And the second thing?”

“I thought having her back would release you.  Put that fire out.  Your anger.  But I guess we both know I failed at that.”

His anger.

His anger through the whole season.

His inability to let go of the anger.

Dean’s anger, his inability to let go, we now know, of course, that his happiness didn’t come from Mary.  He still had the fire, he still couldn’t let go of the anger, the rage.  So what is it?  Not even Amara knows what will bring him peace, she just knows that her solution failed.

And then, as if we needed more parallels to this season:

“I’m furious.  To learn that all my life I’ve been nothing but a hamster in a wheel, stuck in a story.”

If that line sounded familiar to you.  It’s because it is.

It’s not a common phrase, especially since Davy Perez FILLED this episode with callbacks.  We’re in the endgame, nothing is unimportant.

For Dean to bring this line back up, right after Amara tells him that she thought that Mary would bring him peace, that she was wrong in that assumption.  For that line to get brought back up when Dean talks about his anger in that scene with Cas, right in the middle of their breakup, where the whole catalyst of his prayer is about his anger, how he can’t let go of his anger.  How he’s sorry he got so angry at Cas.

Bruh.

And then, as if all of this wasn’t enough.  Jack drops the twist.  That he has to die to kill Chuck and Amara.

It’s his own version of the empty deal.  That isn’t a mistake.  Both are going to come into play, Jack’s deal and Cas’.  Mirrors of each other.

Putting his hand on Cas’ shoulder, telling him his death is not Cas’ choice, but his own.  I think this, this scene is going to come back into play.

And then to end the episode with Cas telling Dean, telling him about Jack’s death. 

“In case something goes wrong and I don’t make it back, there’s something you and Sam need to know.”

So...our fluff episodes are over.

There’s so much in this episode, but what I think bears repeating at the end is Dean’s anger, what will bring him peace, Jack’s impending death, and Cas’ deal.  All of these are going to be our catalysts moving forward.  Dean’s anger arc isn’t over, just as Cas’ deal hasn’t been resolved.  Next week ~seems~ like it’ll be a fluff episode, but I am certain that it won’t be.  There’s gotta be some big to do about what Cas is going to tell Dean.

Idk what to tell y’all other than the volume inside of this clown car is astronomical.

#supernatural #spoilers #spn 15x15 #spn #my meta #destiel

[davidpastrsnack]

okay but like what if telling matty you wanna try a little bit of rougher things cause you’ve been taking it slow and he’s just like “oh fuck” and wants to try with you, so y’all have a long convo about it and your boundaries (cause you should always have that!!!)

and so like y’all start a couple days later when you’re just watching a movie and like he starts to run his hands up and down your sides as he kisses you and quickly the make out season is turning to something else so like y’all go to the bedroom with your legs wrapped around him after whispering that you wanna try it tonight and he’s like choking on the thought of that happening so he’s quick to take you back

so like you’re in the room and he’s slowly undressing you both before asking what you wanna do and where you wanna start, and you’re just like “you’re in control, sir. where do you want me?” and his eyes practically roll in the back of his head and he’s like already painfully hard so you sink to your knees without being told and await his permission and he’s like “alright okay. go on” as he’s trying to gain his composure and get his dom in swing cause he is one but you took him by surprise there for a second

so like you start to touch him gently and kiss along his member just slowly and he’s like threading his fingers in your hair and when you’re teasing him instead of doing stuff he pulls your hair a little so you look up at him and is like: “no teasing. i’m in control. now be a good girl.” and you’re like “yes, sir.” and before you start to actually wrap your lips around him he’s like “safe action?” and you squeeze his thighs with nails digging in a little and nod. so you sink your lips on him and he’s controlling the pace by pulling your hair and basically just fucking your throat and he pulls off before he cums in your throat cause of boundaries (we love a guy who respects them) and just finishes on your chest which he honestly loves

and then he’s praising you but putting you up on the bed and tieing your hands to the headboard with some of his game day ties and he loves knowing that next time he wears them this memory will pop up in his mind and it will for you too and so then he’s teasing you for what seems like hours in between your legs and all you wanna do is tug on his curls but can’t and he keeps edging you and you’re almost crying when he finally lets you cum against his face and he’s smirking so hard as his name slips from your mouth so breathy and loud and he’s proud that he’s made you feel that way but then he’s ready to be a little more rough and intense so he flips you over on your stomach with your face time after asking if you’re good there (cause we love a dom who checks in)

and he’s entering you quickly and easily before setting a fast rough pace with his hips snapping up against you and his hands kneading your ass and you know grunting with each thrust and talking about how good you are for him and how your his and only his and loves seeing you like this for him and you’re crying out with moans in a good way and his hand falls to your hair and he pulls your body up to be flush against his chest as he rocks in and out of you and puts his hand on your neck just to hold it there and his sounds are right on your ear as he kisses you there and when you’re clenching around breathless about how you’re gonna cum and need to, hes like “okay babe you can cum come on you can do it”

and you see stars and collapse onto the bed and he’s quickly filling you and collapsing on top of you and then he’s sliding off you and cleaning you up before tucking you into his side and holding you there and asking if you were okay and stuff and you’re like yeah and we can keep doing more and he’s like “fuck you’re gonna kill me”

and just ugh sign me up for this

— matty anon

#my god #thots #matty anon

[castiel-kline]

KitKat’s Random Rewatch (part 1)

So I’m rewatching a bunch of SPN episodes with no rhyme or reason to the order. Legit just whatever episode I’m feeling. And I thought why not just infodump my thoughts, because I haven’t seen a bunch of these in a hot minute. So if you’re interested in reading my ramblings, keep a lookout for these posts. 

We’re starting with Byzantium (14x08). It still hurts upon rewatch, trust me. 

My god Jack is too sweet

Is it a rule that all cinnamon rolls must say something heartbreakingly pure before dying? Because Jack saying “please don’t be sad” and “then it’ll be an adventure” go straight to my heart. And break it. Jack, please stop killing me

My god SAM’S FACE IM CRYING

Cas honey don’t leave the room

Oh NO after watching 15x15 knowing that Cas still makes the distinction between Jack dying this time because he missed it and the next makes this hurt so much more

Not to be bitter but why is the camera lingering on only Dean’s face before the title card?

Iconic shot of the three of them sad in the hallway

“Your brother’s in pain” ahhHHH Cas stop

The montage of Sam and Cas mourning while Dean’s calling Mary... oof. Side note, did we ever follow up on this voicemail? Because Dean did not sugarcoat so Mary probably had an attack listening to it

The shot of Cas holding the picture of Kelly while standing over Jack’s body.... IM SOBBING

totally forgot Cas saw Sam leaving JUST GO AFTER YOUR FRIEND CAS DARNIT

I mean I do appreciate that Cas respects Sam’s space, but y’all are grieving co-parents. Just hug and cry, it’s okay

Definitely remember my heart stopping the first time when Dean said “tell me you didn’t make a deal.” Little did I know what was coming aHA

My heart is breaking for Sam ahhHHHHH

I think this is hitting Sam so hard because first of all it’s Jack, but also because he doesn’t have a task to instantly bury himself in. So he has to think about it and confront it and because of that he’s about to snap. I just want to hug him please

OHH CAS HAS TEARS IN HIS EYES STAHP

how are Sam and Dean not dead if they’re drinking enough to get Cas tipsy?

The smiles. Somehow it hurts worse.

If there comes a day that the sight of TFW eating nougat candies to mourn Jack doesn’t make me sob, there is something seriously wrong with me.

Slightly bummed we missed out on the SamCas convo where they decided to call Lily Sunder

Dean is hella hungover and it’s actually kinda funny in this emotionally draining episode. Kudos, Jensen.

Jack’s heaven being the road trip to dodge city. Kill me now.

Jack running from the Empty... the sludge really does look like the s15 title card. I wonder if that’ll come back to haunt us.

KELLYYYYYYYY

Courtney and Alex really slayed this scene didn’t they. I’m crying so much

“I grew up” JACK SWEETIE STOP

Jack and Kelly holding hands... that hug... more mother and son time please I’m begging I love them

I really appreciate the framing of this shot with Sam and Cas on one side and Dean on the other.

See, Dean, you were on board with the soul magic plan eventually so you can’t be mad about it later. Except you were. What’s wrong with this picture?

“Don’t you think Jack should decide that for himself?” YESS CAS LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK

sAm please you’re killing me

Cas is so happy to see Dumah. That’s kind of breaking me.

Naomi, I still kinda hate you for torturing Cas.

“I know him. This is where he’ll be.” CAS KNOWS HIS SON FAM IM CRYINGGGGG

“I’m not going anywhere.” KELLY MA’AM YOU DESERVE THE SUN AND THE STARS AND THE WHOLE UNIVERSE

this is literally my favorite Dadstiel hug HOW DID I FORGET CAS’S LAUGH OF PURE JOY

JACK’S FACE WATCHING CAS AND KELLY HUG

“I failed you.” “You didn’t. Jack- he’s wonderful.” “Yeah.” CAN YALL HEAR ME SOBBING

Cas looks like he’s going to cry from pride in Jack. I can’t do this why did I think rewatching this ep was a good idea?

A moment of appreciation for how Cas lays out the facts of the situation and lets Jack make his own decision.

“He’s our kid!” Sam, I’m dead on the floor now. Thanks.

Lily, ily.

Cas is still so happy to see Dumah I’m so sad. Get Cas angel buddies pleaseeee he still loves them so much

Erica Cerra is TERRIFYING as the Empty go off queen

Cas and Kelly being protective of their son

“Take me, in his stead. Take me.” First time I’m watching this without crying. Personal growth, I guess

Cas is so scared of dying and the Empty and yet he’d go for Jack in a heartbeat. I can’t do this anymore

“Why did you do that?” “Because I made a promise. And because I love you, Jack.” CRYING IN THE CLUB

Again, Cas laying out the situation and waiting for Jack to make his own choice. Bless him.

“I won’t tell them. I promise.” Jack HONEY

Kelly and Jack’s goodbye... like she’s sending him off to school... I can’t DO THIS

FACE SQUISH

Is Jack fluent in Enochian, or did they write out pronunciations for him?

Sam is rubbing Jack’s arm to comfort him I’m SOFT

I do love this Dean and Jack hug. Jack’s lil smile. Bless.

Robbed of a Sam and Jack hug, but they’re still so soft. I can feel the love oozing from Sam so much rn

Awww I’m so glad Lily gets to be with her daughter now

Is Jack wearing Dean’s robe?

CAS’S FACE WATCHING JACK I CAN’T

SAM’S FACE TOO HOLY

IM DECEASED

I love the way the camera just pulled away at the end after they toasted. Happy family.

Anyway 10/10 episode. It hurts but it slaps.

#kitkat rambles #kitkat's random spn rewatch #spn 14x08

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

Paper Mouth, Opera Game, Beautiful Place | Writing Update

Hey People of Earth!

This is December 5th Rachel here to tell you this has been sitting in my drafts since the prehistoric era and we boutta update on three chapters of Moth Work *cracks knuckles*. 

First, let’s start with chapter seven of the book, AKA Paper Mouth.

I wrote Paper Mouth back in August, and while I drafted it (over a few writing sprints), I was happy with it, but eventually realized I actually... didn’t like her, lol. Though objectively this chapter ain’t my fave, it does establish a very! important! thing! And that’s my shiny new gal, Eliza.

So, if anyone remembers from previous updates, I conceptualized most of MOTH WORK back in January when I was *stressed* at the end of a semester and needed a *break*. During this period of brainstorming where the whole photograph plot formed, I characterized a woman (the woman in the picture) who I knew would be central to the book. I knew I wanted to name her Eliza, I knew what she looked like, and had a loose backstory outlined for her, buuuuut… I started drifting from the photograph plot (it was only meant to be a booster) and without the photograph plot, I didn't have a reason to include her. So I thought I’d actually cut her involvement in the book way down from about 30-50% to 2%.

This changed however, when I added Lonan’s POV to the book (what I’m writing at the moment). Because I was in his head, I quickly realized how important finding this woman (someone who had a previous affair with his father [TEA]) would be to him. 

This is how we end up at Paper Mouth!

The chapter is almost a direct continuation of the last, and starts out as follows:

Scene A:

Lonan makes a phone call to Eliza from a phone booth. They’ve never met, she like new phone who dis, but after an off-screen explanation, we jump into scene two. 

Scene B:

This scene covers the two meeting for the first time outside of a diner. Lonan got dat brooding hoodie energy, and Eliza has tattoo-artist but also your mom friend energy, and we love the dynamic already! From here, she offers to buy Lonan a milkshake as an incentive to speak with him. Me too sis, me too. 

Scene C:

They chat, until Lonan moves the conversation to his father. Things go downhill lol, Lonan gets overwhelmed and heads outside to leave, despite having no way home, but is followed by Eliza. They have a convo that gets heated about his father, tho this sort of veers off abruptly my bad.

I honestly don’t love anything enough to share from this chapter, so let’s move on to the next!

EDIT: y’all this is the second edit I’ve made in this post because guess who forgot chapter 8 existed.

Opera Game took me so long to write, I forgot it existed! I either started it at the end of August, or the beginning of September--it took so long I’m pretty sure I only finished it in November, lol. 

Scene A:

We get more Lonan + Eliza time as Eliza pulls a Fostered book three and stitches up Lonan’s busted face

This goes wrong very quickly when Lonan keeps bringing up the fact that he thinks she’s spooked because he has his dead father’s (AKA her ex’s) eyes. 

Scene B:

We have din din with Eliza + Lonan and she gifts him back his mother’s ring (at last, the OG plot) that she may or may not have had wrapped for months to give back to his dad (yikers). << this causes some minor problems lol

Scene C:

Lonan and Eliza share a cigarette on her apartment’s balcony. They’re supposed to be just friends but let’s just say apparently I cannot write those (see Darren and Reeve lmfaooo).

The end of this chapter was so fun to write. Take with that what you will! I put Nothing But Thieves’ cover of Love You Should’ve Come Over on repeat to write scene C. Take with that! What! You! Will! ;)

And now for excerpts! Sharing this because of the word guileless:

Eliza looks like a girl. She’s a girl with too many tattoos bartered for free in college, convenience store lipstick she bought from the clearance section, a haircut she found in her mother’s mail-order catalogue, rings hand-bent from an age 12+ kit. She cries like a girl, and sits like a girl and wipes her face like a girl, and he sees the same thing in her that he sees in himself—something guileless, something see-through. 

I don’t usually share dialogue, but here is some dialogue from scene B:

“Should I have gotten something different?”

“This is fine.”

“They had chili chicken too. General Tso’s. I should’ve followed my gut.”

“This is fine.”

“There’s even an Italian place just a block over. I forgot about the Italian place.”

“This is fine, Eliza.”

And now, a very on brand excerpt ft. dead bodies:

He can’t remember why his mother died, or when, or why she’s more of a mother than his own mother. He only wants to visit her. Slip the ring back on her finger. She would smell like peaches, hibiscus, almost chlorinated, embalmed, absently pretty, not because she wasn’t beautiful, but because her body would be empty. 

EDIT (again): hi y’all it’s been a month since I drafted this, and so here we go with yet another chapter update because I refuse to do schoolwork! 

Beautiful Place is chapter nine of Moth Work, and is chock full of all the tea you’ve ever wanted! Watch Rachel take a pure friendship and make it *not* because that’s her #1 talent! Pure friendship? lol you THOUGHT.

I wrote this chapter over the course of my reading break. @sarahkelsiwrites​ and I went out to a coffee shop and did a few writing sprints, where a majority of this chapter was birthed. 

After Opera Game, I was a bit stuck with this book. I needed a chapter that shoved Eliza and Lonan closer together, but couldn’t figure out exactly how to go about this. I’d semi established a semi friendship between Lonan and Eliza, but wasn’t fully understanding how they’d go from “lol ur my dad’s ex” to “buds? hi!” to “lol ur my ex” and I toyed around with a lot of ideas in my head before I accidentally stumbled into the scene that defines the entire chapter.

Scene A:

All you need to know is Lonan is chillin’ on Eliza’s couch, she’s making some good ol’ french toast, and then tells him she wants to take him to a “good place” and he’s like ok)

Scene B:

Eliza’s place is a cove she found a while back with someone I cannot name because of spoilers (just know that this definitely changes Lonan’s opinion of being there)

When he asks her about the person who she found the place with, she gets *shady*, he gets *extra*, there is *tea*

Here is an excerpt ft. my most overused verb: starbursting (why)!

“You like the beach?” Eliza turns off the car engine, checks her lipstick in the rear-view.

“Just the water.”

“But not the beach?”

“I like the water.”

They get out of the car together, and Eliza’s sundress catches in the rain. The cotton is patterned with palm leaves, birds the size of his pinkie, and it whirls around her in the wind. He doesn’t ask why the good place is the beachfront, or what’s so good about it. He doesn’t shake her hand off when she takes it and leads him toward the sand. Eliza moves around amber driftwood and rubbery kelp like this isn’t an obstacle course but a regular commute. Her hair blows out of her face, starbursting like a halo. She says something about coming here when the Vegas lights blocked the stars. That it’s magical at night, it’s intoxicating, it’s spellbinding, and all of these words remind him more of his sister than sand, than waves. 

Here’s a description of the beautiful place ooooh:

The first thing he notices is the light. It’s only the sun reflecting off the stone, but he sees constellations, jittering like they’re both submerged in water. Bits of gold catch in Eliza’s hair and the peaks of the waves, and it’s the cove he notices next. They stand in the centre of it, the stone arched over a spread of water, lapping inches from their feet. It’s like being enclosed in a snowglobe, a private hemisphere of light, water, stone, sand. A resurrection. 

And here lies tea:

Eliza is spreading out a picnic blanket while Lonan kneels toward the water. He punctures the current, and lets it stream between his fingers. Even in his hands, the water is gold.

“A friend and I found it,” she says, as water drips into his palm, down his wrist. “I said it was magical.”

“Was it my father?” he picks up a clump of sand, lets it disintegrate back down.

When Eliza says nothing, he turns back to look at her. She’s rummaging through the picnic basket, humming something under her breath, fixing the corner of the blanket.

“Eliza?”

She looks at him, and then back down, glasses clinking. She pulls out two jars—one  orange, one pink. “Which do you prefer—marmalade or strawberry?” She digs through the basket, pulls out another jar, olive coloured, speckled with reds, yellows. “Or tapenade?”

“Eliza,” he says, wringing out his hand as he rises. “Was it my father?”

“I brought red wine, too. Do you drink?”

Lonan approaches, and crouches at the edge of the picnic basket. He plays with the hem, smooths his fingers over the metallic underbelly, the fleecy plaid pattern on the good side.

When she pulls out the wine bottle, he reaches over and places his hand on the neck. Their fingers brush when he secures his palm around it. When she doesn’t look at him, he moves his hand over until it covers hers.

“The friend you found this place with,” he says. “Was that my father?”

Eliza tightens her grip around the wine bottle and pulls it back, placing it into the picnic basket. Her sigh trembles, vibrato like a flute, an opera singer. She smooths her hair back, once, twice. “It’s shiraz. My mother sent it from Italy.”

And at last, I call this: Kind of A Wild Thing to Do But Pop Off I Guess:

On her pulse sits a tattoo of a single crow’s eye, and Lonan traces it with the tip of his fingernail. He touches down, to the dagger following the vein on her forearm, and when he reaches the golden cherub an inch from her elbow, leans down and kisses its head.

Aaaand, what a fun way to end this update!

I’m not sure if I’ll get another update up before the new year, but let’s cross our fingers! If not, here’s to 2020! Let’s finish these books y’all. 

--Rachel

#writing #amwriting #writeblr #writerblr #mothwork #writingupdates #fostered

[onlygotafewdollas]

stargazing w/svt

inspired by @babybluescoups​ cuz she put me in soft hours by telling me she went stargazing tonight which ended up turning into crackhead hours in our convo lmfao

i am so sorry if this sucks it’s late and i’m bad at writing LOL

ok so

it’s like 7pm and after a long and tiring day at work, you get home with the full intent of just eating your dinner and going to bed bc you’re just so over everything

so you eat whatever leftovers you have from last night bc ain’t nobody got time to cook smfh what are we? responsible adults? pffffffft as if

and then change into your sweats and get all cozy and whatever

but suddenly it’s like 10pm and you realize

you’ve been sitting around after dinner just messing with your phone bc turns out, you weren’t really THAT tired, just tired of work and in need of a break

and now you’re bored as he*k 

you look out the window and it’s a nice night, not a cloud in the sky

plus it’s just the absolute perfect temperature (you decide what perfect temps are for you boo)

so you decide to go on a lil walk partially bc maybe you ate way too much food and now you feel obligated to “exercise”

you decide to see if any of the boys wanna come with bc the more the merrier!! so you message the group chat but...nobody responds :(

dang it guys stop being so busy and responsible just rest for once would ya

it’s at that moment that you get a message from jihoon, who says he’s been cooped up in the studio all day since he’s had a lot of work to finish

and he’s wondering if you’d mind bringing over a charging cable if you’re on your way out anyways cuz soonyoung stole his the other day and didn’t give it back and he totally forgot so now he’s definitely gonna strangle soonie oops

and you’re like yea sure i gUESS SO even tho u won’t hang out with me tonight :(

so you grab your charging cable and head over to the studio, but not after stopping by the convenience store to grab some snacks bc like even though you ate a lot of food for dinner...there’s always room for snacks

once you get over there, jihoon is tapping away at his computer, working on mixing something new 

and lemme tell ya

the boy looks TIRED

literally like he probably hasn’t slept in 3 days

and you know that if you just leave him there he’s probably not going to stop any time soon 

so you take it upon yourself to stop him by taking his headphones away from him and tell him that he should take a break and go do something fun

and then you remember

it’s a nice night out!!

no clouds in the sky!!

and you know what that means: 

s t a r g a z i n g ! ! !

so you pitch the idea to jihoon who of course, being the workaholic he is, insists that he can’t bc he’s got a deadline to meet

and in between your bickering as you’re trying to convince him to come with you

his stomach growls. like. SUPER loudly.

*cue awkward silence*

remember how he said he’s been cooped up in the studio all day? well. he literally meant it. the boy didn’t even go get any food. 

you offer him a snack, but on one condition:

“let’s go up to the rooftop and watch the stars!! you probably gotta clear your head and get some fresh air anyways”

jihoon: but I have a deadli- *cue stomach growl*

also jihoon: ok fine

you: I’ll buy you whatever food you want after

jihoon, suddenly the most excited person in the world: OK LET’S GO 

so you two head up to the rooftop, making sure to bring a blanket to spread out and sit on cuz like...you can’t go stargazing without that ya feel

once you get up there, it’s so so SO pretty

all of the stars are out and they softly illuminate the sky we’re just going to pretend that light pollution doesn’t exist ok

and because lowkey you’re mad that nobody responded to you in the group chat

you take a pic of the view, and then a pic of jihoon staring up at the stars, and send it to the boys

now that,,,,really get’s everyone’s attention cuz they all have serious fomo

soonyoung is the first to respond

soonyoung: wow tfti omg jihoon’s on a date????

jihoon: i will literally end you

you: i literally invited you all and nobody responded

everyone else: wHEN???

you: *sends screenshot of you asking them if they wanted to hang*

everyone else: o

at that moment, you decide to put your phone on silent and just enjoy the ambient sound of the city cuz we all know how rowdy gcs can get and plus these boys never shut up

but 5 minutes later...you hear the door open

and it’s none other than soonyoung, who, in his gross and sweaty state after working on some choreo downstairs, immediately plops himself down on the blanket between you and jihoon

“oi I can’t believe you guys were gonna keep this pretty view all to yourselves HMPH”

“yea well leT ME REMIND YOU THAT AGAIN, I INVITED Y’ALL AND YOU IGNORED ME”

“oops”

a few minutes of bickering later, the door opens again to reveal jun, hao, and chan, who ran upstairs to look for soonyoung cuz he left in the middle of practice lol

and then wonwoo, seokmin, and mingyu who were hanging out downstairs and decided to come up to see what was going on

and then seungkwan and vernon who were chilling at the dorms before coming over

and finally cheol, jeonghan, and josh who were busy being old idk

and so finally, the whole gang’s there

and you’re all just chilling on the rooftop, enjoying the view and the hushed conversation because nobody wants to ruin the relaxed mood

and this goes on for a good hour or so

when all of a sudden

gyu’s stomach grumbles 

lowkey jihoon’s did too but we all know how loud gyu is...and guess what? his stomach is loud too

jihoon: way to ruin the mood ya hoe

gyu: 🥺

everyone else: BRO 

but jihoon is reminded that he’s actually eaten almost nothing the whole day

and suddenly remembers that you said you’d buy him food after this...

“yo y/n are we still getting food after this? we should probably go cuz it’s getting late and SOMEONE’S stomach ruined the mood anyways”

gyu: why you gotta clown me like that bro

you: um DUH did you forget that you ate a bunch for dinner AND had snacks? smh. SIKE! #TREATYOSELF2K19

seungkwan: ooooooh let’s all go get food and not tell mingyu!!

gyu: i’M LITERALLY RIGHT HERE

everyone else: oh? huh? y’all hear sumthin?

gyu: 🥺🥺🥺

anyways y’all end up heading down to the convenience store and all get ramen bc what else would you eat? healthy food? pfft

so all in all, it ends up being a pretty good night 

#seventeen #seventeen imagines #s. coups #jeonghan #joshua #jun #hoshi #wonwoo #woozi #dokyeom #mingyu #the 8 #seungkwan #vernon #dino #seungcheol #junhyung #soonyoung #jihoon #seokmin #minghao #hansol #chan #i'm so sorry lowkey this sucked lol #but oh well #this one's for you megs

[kae-karo]

lmao so i thought someone asked for an analysis of the gwf vid like i could’ve sworn i had that ask so y’all just have to deal with me posting it anyway here ya go lads golf gone sexual™: the final edition

the fucking. the pirate outfits. the. i’m. i don’t. i can’t. (x) ‘left over from somewhere’

fucking phil ‘u lost ur stick last time i think’ yeah phil sure yeah sure okay buddy

‘choke me daddy festive edition’ @ dan pls stop

what cuties i love them just not actually knowing what they’re doing and messing it up and these awkward long pauses before they burst into a fit of giggles i love them

why did they even bring up the ‘winter update’ like it had no relevance??

crinkly boye

don’t worry i can host dan what are u even on about

phil out here coming up with a great vid name (yo ho ho) and they went with battle for the booty smh that says everything u ever need to know abt dnp

wow even in this year of 2018 we got yet another ur mum joke (and phil’s right we do love kath)

@ dan pls stop ur bf from making weird hand gestures okay that’s,,,,,it’s unnecessary

hi they cute

‘u absolute twit nipple’ how on earth does that still sound so fond what the fuck

and another ur mum joke wow i just,,,,wow

the way dan says ‘oh my god that was good’ like. he never sounds like that??? it’s a good sound he should sound like it more often idk it’s like soft and genuine in a sort of ‘wow i did okay??’ kinda cute surprised way??

‘stop talking about how close this is’ dan,,,,,,really u thought that was bad??? really??? really?????

phil’s deep-voiced yarr and dan’s literal only reaction being that he should’ve made a pun out of it leads me to believe philip does that deep voice often enough that dan is entirely unfazed and idk how i feel abt that

‘just bounced off the rim that’s how i like to play it, don’t go in, just bounce off it’ that cheeky fuckin smile daniel please can u not

lmao the pirate outfit is unlucky hm

hi i love dan’s lil trying-not-to-smile-but-just-about-to-smile smile when he’s staring at phil it makes me happy

how did they spend ten minutes (okay ten full seconds) trying to figure out the name of the wheel

dan: makes f/phat booty pun, phil: ‘they’re just filled with ass they’re not even coins’

same dan

important content

ik everyone’s said it by now but dan’s choice of adjective was great and i’m here for it (’gaily jumping off the ship’)

dan’s lil smile when phil’s ‘gaily adjusting his stance’

dimply boye

how does phil just blatantly ignore ‘phil’s edging us guys’ like idk i mean i hyperfocus too but like damn they really must just talk about that kind of stuff on a regular basis bc u don’t just tune that out y’know

phil’s distracted ‘that is so much ass’

‘yarrs’ carries the same energy as when dan made the ‘ain’t no gravy up in this kitch’ joke in the bunny biscuits vid and stared at phil and waited for his joke to be acknowledged

my kink is dan looking hilariously fond abt phil making bad sex-related comments (’it’s a strap-on’)

hey phil u know if u swear in another language it’s still swearing right?

did dan just absolutely commit to the harder flag?? without saying anything abt it? even though he lost?

phil just. out here. purposely almost-swearing. we stan

ik i saw this joke elsewhere but phil ur literally staring at a posh pirate mmkay b

i just wanna know what was going through dan’s head with ‘oingo boingo i’m a dick’ bc like. u okay there b??

ye dan we know ur geometry skills are quite lacking but glad the whole reference thing just keeps on coming up

‘they’re gonna do an exam about me and everyone’s gonna get an A star’ i mean that’s living in the phandom isn’t it? We all aspire to be phil trash, even though only One can hold the ultimate title

okay like take five seconds and take a step back they’re literally just playing golf i love how stupidly competitive they get it’s adorable

‘oh dear’ makin a comeback

plankspank.com why are they like this (at least phil didn’t buy the domain this time)

danny u have picked up ur husband’s habit of making a cawing noise whenever u get a birdie

why does he do this

physically in pain

fucking hell dan why do u have to make this so goddamn sexual i didn’t ask for this i didn’t want u talkin bout how it was a slow one and u put it in and jfc look i read phanfiction for a reason i don’t actually wanna know what ur sex life is like okay

britney spears references wow is it 2010 again or is that just all the foreplay golf,,,,,play,,,,,

dan,,,,,,,,

re: the tentacle: ‘that is gonna be right,,,,somewhere’ dan we got it u did not have to add ‘right in the poop deck’ and ur fucking noise okay we did Not need that

i lied earlier my kink is dan saying he cannot believe smth

this is just becoming a masterpost of all the weird faces dan makes

‘it’s part of the loser station for idiots who get everything wrong’ ???? dan help i can’t tell are u a seven y.o child who makes up mean insults when u lose or a twenty-seven year old adult who makes sex jokes n innuendos bc this vid is giving me mixed vibes

🎶🎶there she goes, there she goes again🎶🎶

awwwww matching nerds

dan n his fuckin squeaky i’m-making-fun-of-u voice

‘some people are just skilled booty raiders’ #dantops2k18

Important Dan Fact™ if u can see his lil corner of his mouth u can bet u could see his dimple on the other side and i’m suing bc we can’t see it

why did it take them like 3 tries to figure out they had to time it with the cannons i mean it’s like they’ve never played a vid game in their lives

bite it danny boy u know u want to u also know if it were the other way round phil would’ve bitten at dan’s finger

more dan face

phil absolutely going off topic with ‘sometimes i want to explore with fashion’ and dan’s immediate ‘oh do u now phil lmao’

‘so many textures out there’ he cute

i mean dan cute too but phil cute for sayin it

we stan boyfriends with literally the same brain whining abt lazy rivers and rude kids

hi sorry i just love watching phil when dan’s talking bc he pays so much attention like he used to not do that (back in the day) but like he just really turns and focuses on dan now and it makes me happy

i know we all adore dan’s ‘shut up’ but it always gives me life hearing phil tell dan to shut up

fond daniel

also phil’s super cute soft natural voice when he’s talking about how he keeps saying ‘watch this’

has phil ever gotten this frustrated with gwf lmao

‘bollocks’ as if that’s a thing they say

just kiss him phil goddamn i mean u wanna win right what better way to throw him off his game

why did maximum yeet have to become a thing i s2g

‘why am i helping’ bc u have absolutely no willpower and u want phil to be happy bc it makes u happy that’s why

why,,,,,,,why does everything satisfying have to be sexual phil, why. just. why. and then? golf gone sexual? as if that’s not a better title for the goddamn vid than ‘battle for the booty’ at least it’s accurate??? ‘battle for the booty’ i expect them dueling irl over who gets to top next or some shit that is why u call a vid ‘battle for the booty’

dan,,,,,,pls let ur bf make the weird noises okay

hi sorry what the Fuck is this

is that meant to be a monkey or some shit like what???????

that is a skeleton pirate thing what the hell

why does he have such a long face

idk they cute when they look at each other like they're like having a serious convo even tho they aren’t (although i wouldn’t be shocked if making puns is an important point of communication between them)

also fun fact i heard phil saying ‘jewel’ for the first like five times instead of duel

phil, realizing he’s said something he shouldn’t have

a cute

hi once again i love them

phil doing his face covering thing why does he always look at least 3x cuter when he’s doing it whilst staring at dan

‘i got the octopus, he’s gonna marry me, we’re gonna have tentacle hooked babies with parrots on the crib’

same dan same

and then he turns around n says ‘spank me with a plank and call me poopy susan’ wtf is wrong with them

‘u love a good tentacle don’t u’ show me where i asked

dan, actually considering how that would feel with all the tentacles:

how did they go from phil saying ‘you love a good tentacle’ to saying ‘(you/we) should get some of those’ to dan saying ‘no, you shouldn’t’ like uhm. wot

this

#dnp #dan and phil #dapg #danandphilgames #phan #golf with friends #pirate edition #vid analysis #moonshine gifs #kt #and yes to the person that asked for an analysis for the heartthrob vid #that's coming give me like ten mins lmao

[soap-brain]

oooo so i got tagged by both @elroymarvelous (something like a week ago i’m so sorry) and @greetings-from-the-suffer-puppet (yesterday :p) to do this alphabet questions thing! let’s go!!

a - age: 19

b - birthplace: düsseldorf, nrw (it’s in germany) (it’s the best city in germany) (95 olé)

c - current time: 11:38 am

d - drink you had last: some neat sparkling water, also i pretended to drink chips rings but they’re solid so idk whether that counts

e - easiest person to talk to: @greetings-from-the-suffer-puppet , cause we have somehow absolutely /no/ need for filters and we’ve talked about some things we would never, ever talk about with other people :D (hey ryn, remember the scintillating convo we had recently involving chrispy? good times) and also @loststarlight bc she’s a very bad person who got me into a ship and enables me to write fic for it and sends me unacceptable photo posts and totally made me watch doom!! which i didn’t want to do.. at.. all *sweats nervously and holds hand over pocket that’s def not bulging with karl pics... and bruce... and chrispy...*

f - favorite song: atm it’s a tie between sabotage by the beastie boys and ..... every time we touch by cascada (look, i’m technically a rock person, but sometimes it’s midnight, you’ve had about 5hrs of sleep every night, you know you have at least one more hour of super complicated chemistry to do, you’ve had a long ass day, you’re really hungry, just had a bowl of cereal and are fast approaching an ultra sugar high. what better to party with than that song??)

g - grossest memory: story time! during grades 9-12, i sometimes liked walking home instead of doing the hour long tram and bus ride. idk, it was a self reflection / relaxing thing, which i still kinda do. there was a short tunnel i had to go through. nothing scary, it was literally just the street and a pavement on each side, it was short, well lit, in an okay neighborhood, there were frequently people around etc. so really, really, not scary / gross. one day i’m walking and i see a guy of maybe my age coming towards me ahead of me, so i go to one side of the pavement, while he goes to the other, i’m doing the staring ahead thing which will morph into a lightning quick checking the other person over thing once we pass each other. it’s a thing i do. so  we’re just about to pass each other, and he pushes up his tee shirt (it was summer/spring) and ... there’s just... his erection. which he consciously shows to me. and he says something which i didn’t hear cause i’m listening to music, but i do physically recoil a little, my shoulder brushes the tunnel wall but i keep walking, pretending nothing happened, and i remember thinking to myself “the fact that you know now that you won’t believe yourself later that you didn’t make this up is the only thing that’ll make you believe it really happened.”, and just because i know i thought that then already, i believe myself that i didn’t make it up cause man, i kinda wanted to pretend it didn’t happen. and that’s the story of the first ever real life erection i saw! yay! now you know things about me you didn’t want to know!

h - horror yes or no: noooooo pls i get scared easily. even bad horror movies (ie doom) can scare me a bit. esp jumpscares??? the worst imo

i - in love?: nah. never been, either *shrug emoji*

j - jealous of people?: klasjdlfjasdlf i get really jealous of how people manage to socially interact with such ease?? and just... talk to other people and aren’t awkward and make friends?? a wild concept

k - killed someone?: ok so i know we should all either answer something cool and quirky or no!! of course not!! but i have a story. (fuck ok now y’all think i actually killed a person. disclaimer: i didn’t. but i was close) ok so i was doing my three months mandatory nurse work for studying medicine, and around the second month there was this old lady (93yo i think), who’d just gotten i think a new hip? and before her op she was surprisingly mobile with her walking frame and just really cute and chipper and also scared of her op. afterwards, she went to the icu, as was scheduled bc she was so old, and and then she got back to her regular station, and she was slowly but surely learning how to sit up and stand up again and then also walk. she had major pain problems  and her leg had gotten stiff, but she really was a champ, and i really liked her. also, to make some infusions (ie pain meds) easier, she’d gotten a central venous catheter, ie a catheter into the vein right at the bottom of her neck. and then it was time to take it out bc she’d gotten so much better, and there was a doctor there and i was just doing some work or something in the same room (i think we just got done helping the patient dress), and the doctor knew i wanted to study medicine, so she asked me whether i wanted to take it out with her help. i said yes, and then the doctor got a call and took it and told me to go ahead and detach the iv drip line from the catheter. which i did. then i waited for the doctor to finish her call to tell me the next step. she was done just as the patient started feeling faint and started to lose feeling in the arm on the side the central venous catheter was in. long story short, she was rushed to the icu again, because what i didn’t know was that you had to close the catheter, and i’d essentially pulled off the stopper as well, and she ended up having no blood in certain parts of her brain, which i think ended up as a terminal condition for her. she lived, but she had a very, very hard time getting better again and i think she never fully recovered. so. yeah. that’s my story on how i almost killed a person.

l - love at first sight or should I walk past again?: definitely walk past again :D looks and mannerism can be very deceiving

m - middle name: inge brigitte

n - number of siblings: 2

o - one wish: to get my shit together lmao

p - person i called last: i think my dad?? about photoshop?

q - question you’re always asked: probably about my one weird tooth maybe? or what i did between school and uni 

r - reason to smile: getting messages / people willingly interacting with me, horses, when life is going good, when i can be proud of myself for a reason, when there’s music making me feel good things, star trek

s - song you last sang: i don’t sing. i’d sometimes like to, but i feel too awkward cause i’ve been told that i can’t sing at all, so like...

t - time you woke up: 6:47 am the first time, then sometime around 8

u - underwear color: white

v - vacation: this probably ties in with all the “places you wanna visit” ask games, so the answer has to be most of europe, northern america, iceland, australia, parts of asia, parts of africa, space, berlin

w - worst habit: picking at my skin.... and procrastinating!

y - your favorite food: well my fave meal would be garlic bread, a medium steak with fries and beans and either lava cake or crème brûlée for dessert, along with an apple martini; but my fav normal food would be spaghetti bolognese and ... chocolate-y sweets (and truffles. oh boy i want some truffles now)

z - zodiac: libra

i’m tagging @loststarlight, @chameleon-kirk, @bottomkirk, @mccoysbi, @lieutenant-sapphic, @trappist-1p and everyone else who wants to do this!! esp all my new followers - if you wanna do this, tag me so i can get to know y’all!!

#captains log #tag games

[mebeingserious]

(c.) End 2012 - Early 2013

- - #1

#Based On A You Story. Blinking cursor.

Peep my Doogie Howser blue screen. Peep my blue light. No bloc festivities, streamers, or tails to pin anything on. Pin that shit on yourself, B. Take responsibility.

“Pin The Tail” had a Max B verse on the original. Do with that knowledge what you will if what you will do is reimburse me for my strong miscellany-fact-brain game. I refined it through the arthritis of those on my personal Mt. Rushmore.

I’m unknowable, really. You should get to un-know me.

And it was an inside job, btw. Egged on by the peanut gallery, flipped the switch, gave you a parachute and some mumble-mumble about how the chlorophyll’s gonna be stunning.

I’m just another human cat, word to Grass Green. Don’t treat me like the grassy knoll. Leave them stones turnt all the way down.

But that “you” isn’t you, that’s you’s on you’s on you’s. UUU, if you will. Gotta not have it.

New swatch alert. Here. Peep the texture and the hues. That’s the interior.

Cam’ron in a Utah Jazz throwback staring back at me through a phone’s reflection. [||]. You right, you right.

Captain Quirk but the Captain Crunch Dog at the same damn time. Pretend it’s two months ago, though.

Your last.fm recent plays leave you vulnerable, if you think about it. I thought about it.

I need to remind myself I don’t do this for the little or the big dunns. Everyone needs to get their Lex Luger on from time to time. B.Y. Before Yokozuna.

So I say that to say this: “Can’t call it, might spoil it”

Performing tune-ups with some VBRs and possibly, 192s. You can only crash so many planes before you start frisking yourself in the airport.

Further and farther are in full effect. But then I remember “that’s when the money starts running” and Stoicism, and put it in hands I once knocked down.

- - #2

Spot ‘em, got ‘em. I got dirt on you, doggie.

But God made dirt and dirt bust your ass.

Or my ass. I know too much. Internal Spy vs. Spy.

I saw those stars. Had my radars up. Tangible air.

One minute it’s in the constellations, the next sixty-seconds it’s a “Superthug” if.

Hella.

No, not you. The other. But you? You’re putting together a 150-piece in the dark.

Me? S.O.L. S.O.S. But I’m like Private Ryan. So you can save that.

Oh wait, I forgot that motherfucker survived.

Anyways, haardships.

My window’s been closed but at least I have a window. But it’s lowkey amazing that a window is even a thing.

I just did what Game did with the coaching of the fat producer on ironing Dickies. But you don’t hear me, doe.

Do you hear me, doe? This is the Gawd.

He doesn’t take requests but he’ll play me, though.

But really, I did that. Sorta like what Kane said on “The Symphony.”

Anyways, indecision.

He who hesitates in peace is even worse.

The pyramids didn’t get built by throwing stones or sitting on them. But I fucked up when I entertained the E.T. theory.

I’m the man now, dog. But really, without the seven you’re not Sean Connery. You’re just…

Anyways, alternate universes. That exist in shared thought bubbles.

But that’s the only place they ever existed, nah?

But let’s thought experiment. Does that outcome satisfy?

Or is it just better than hearing a single echo against drywall?

I can give you advice on farther but my track record is a stumble out the blocks paired with a horizontal starting gun, finished off with a somersault. 1.0 - 1.0 - 1.0

Got gotted and spotted.

Need is whatever you think it is.

But try to take my arm and leg and I might be that shoe with the band between the big toe.

You can have a symphony composed of c-notes in that porcelain but if you don’t embrace that internal Hammer … well. Basslines don’t come across well in sign.

You can go on and be Big L’s Rocafella debut, but you don’t know voodoo.

But tangible is good. I mean, Tough Luv holds up pretty well eight years later.

I guess I misunderstood that originally. Or I tried to understand too soon. He was right when he said “…or rather me.”

- - #3

The last verse on “Pyramids” without the sonic context.

Strikes Back. In the Empire. They say it’s their favorite flick.

Swore my hand waved to me as it fell, in that “Hi, Hater” motion.

Took off that mask and it was a mirror. No disrespect but there’s truth to it.

Anton Chigurh in the guidance counselor’s office basically saying “heads or tails.”

Saw it with the old man. In the alt. section of the universe it was Batman Returns.

Trying to lucid dream about the Northwest in 1996, but I’m better off sleeping. And peeping those trees with the date emblazoned in a reddish orange beneath their stumps.

Subsidized Napoleon complex had me fighting on the wrong side. Got did like Waterloo.

Manila envelopes addressed to that British newspaper. Don’t you know this is the Empire?

Telepathy returned to sender.

Heard “boo” from that pocket-sized frame.

But ghosts only come for your wig when you turn your back.

“Whoa” ain’t me, that’s Black Rob.

Speaking of that song…

Come to terms with endearment.

You chose the ball and you joined me in breadth.

Another one chewing dead skin, dirt particles and textile fibers.

Carly Simon. Bet.

What came first, the wound or the egg that provided the shells that were stuck in the soles?

South West here like Northern OH. Something something “talent.”

Indecisive travel agent that forgot to build a plane.

I saw the white plates, the blue plates, and now they’re yellow. i.e. I’ve seen the Empire crumble.

Let an ocean talk for me.

What the fuck is portamento? Not worth it.

Waking up to a foreign vocabulary test. Appealing. No comprende.

Opted-in because I was loyal to the wrong things. Minus the fuckboy-isms.

He was the Pookie of venlafaxine.

Caesar: Judas.

Conversational anesthesia. Was on that Freud shit.

Liked the yellow yoshi that stomped and the one with wings.

And you can tell a lot about a man by how he uses a warp whistle. Button on the VCR.

Meant to hear Tiến Quân Ca in person but couldn’t. If he saw the inland, I wouldn’t.

Lucas Arts revisionist tip. Script = flipped. And now…

Telling the emperor “We don’t need to see all that.” I’ll say it.

And maybe worth it. But no capitulation. The sign fixed.

- Carly.

“You, Me, Him and Her” gets played twice.

The first one’s near Luxor, prolly.

Gut snitched.

Us couldn’t stop dreaming, then I couldn’t get to sleep. Both.

“I fuck around and have you sleeping underneath something”

But that last verse, though.

- - #4

Pop culture hustling and cocaine references are the way to my heart. My heart is sullen and abandoned; full of un-shatterable Pyrex-brand measuring cups.

Or is it. Racially ambiguous inquisition. Internal. In-terminal, I keep ticking. So, maybe occupied.

Don’t knock it. I’m taking out this time. To compose choppy sentences that stop before they start because I’m so non-fiction I might call myself Tumblr Game Tom Wolfe.

Looking back, YN really inspired me with his Letters From The Editor. But nah to that “Ha!”

Flirting with disaster because she sent me a flick. Y’all are too literal. Down to the ‘I’m so crazy.’

Meanings on top of meanings. Princess and the Pea. That now archaic Jay-Z and Kanye interplay. References need a new hard drive. They’re making that grindin’, too busy to stay up-to-date sound.

I’m not looking at your dues, I’m looking past you. Why are ghosts see-through but you can’t see through what you can see.

Peter Piper was too fucking picky. End of story. Citing Antwan Patton in MLA style. If you want the references, you gotta pay for this. I accept Juelz. Pay the pause forward.

Subtle is my subtitle. You can read or watch. An internet quiz will tell you what that means for you and your personality.

John on the run eating. But wasn’t gaining.

Acting like shenanigans in loosie, but there was no explaining.

No, no, no. I’m not you, rapper.

Jesus H. Pylori. The church of disrupted insulin function and latter day faints.

Glue where the flex be. Vampires that never heard about the smallpox blankets. Paul’s Boutique sample count. Dust, brother. Trying not to bite down.

That admittance, and the small BIC. Alluhdat.

Three letters. Now I feel alluhdat.

Maybe knowing in retrospect is the win. Like when they extend those legs and and hold their hands in a state-enforced half-hearted semi-prayer position saying “I hope this provides closure for your family.”

A & B convos. Split-tests. More like a two and eight.

Good things surface for those that hold elevators. Or something.

Lost the top about fitty-leven times. No lojack. Find it, then repeat. Dementia. Kojack.

No lolli. Point the finger, no Rollie. No handle, no bars. Just folly.

Was on that “If I die, I die.” Life Game Ivan Drago.

Try to be a fatalist. Unexciting Mortal Kombat finishers.

Marcus Aurelius darts onto the screen to kill the opponent with mercy.

No hip hop genius to help you. Y’all Nah Right sidebar. Newsy. Your quotient can’t save thee. Or thou. Or you. Let’s say you.

Because I’m like Jason Bourne asking himself about that one birthday party when he was an age that gets spelled out by the Associated Press. Hope unseen sequels don’t kill my simile.

We’re all trying to live facsimile’s meaning if you said it quick. Gender neutral, though.

Don’t, doe.

Because reflection requires dedication. Three’s ain’t always charming. There’s precedent. See the millionaire trying to kickflip.

I’m not a walking version of the back of the teacher’s edition history/sociology/psychology combo cost-saving textbook.

Slight of hand. Converse with it.

Phonte’s monologues on the last two from Get Back.

That’s the point. Nipsey Russell.

#writing #1-4

[xseokjiin]

so i wanted to do sth more special for my friends aside from including them in a follow forever,so here’s another post for y’all! :D

in no particular order,

@blumiin: 

nine!!you’re such a cutie honestly ily (let’s work on keeping up our snapchat streak hehe)~ it’s been awesome talking to each other,& also lovely to have someone to discuss certain things with in between screaming abt the boys.really glad i met you <3

@sugaidc: 

lils!!i’m still amazed we met in a completely diff fandom and ended up getting into BTS around the same time xD all of this is not a coincidence,hmm? :p i’m really glad though!!i rmbr how at the start i was debating over whether i should really change my main to posting BTS & then we were joining nets together,& it was lovely to have you there together with me doing stuff like that.but that aside - you’re 1 of the sweetest ppl i know,& so freaking talented??you work really hard on the stuff you post & it shows ^^ you’re amazing & i hope we can meet irl someday!!ily <3

@ttaewo:

julia!!it’s still so cool to me that we’re in the same country,honestly xD anyhow i’m really glad i took the initiative to talk to you,bcos i can’t imagine nt having you in my life??thank you for always listening (well,reading my long msges..esp recently cos i’ve been screaming a lot abt nu’est :x),i hope you know you’re welcome to always do the same (be it fangirling or ranting abt other stuff).you’re lovely & i hope you have a great day hehe.love ya~ <3

@kiimtaehyungs:

aditi~ ^^ i know we haven’t been talking a lot on kkt bt i hope you’re coping well with sch & everything!!don’t get too stressed & take care of yourself!i find it so cool we both gt polaroid cameras around the same time,here’s to making good use of them hehe :) you’re a lovely person & i’m really glad to have met you!i’m kinda surprised we clicked actually,cos of the age gap,bt i guess that isn’t really impt as much as personality & all that haha.ily <3

@jamesbcrnes:

mikki!!you’re the best,really - we met through spn & were together through marvel & star wars,& here we are,pretty much into completely diff stuff & we’re still talking :D i’m really glad to have met you,you’re such a lovely person who always listens to what i have to say even if you’re probably clueless abt most of what i talk abt.it was cool we both played mystic messenger & watched YOI though :p i think i do a lot of screaming lol so this is a reminder you can always return the favor,i’m happy to listen :) to end off,you’re awesome & ily <3

@roseatejimin:

lina!! :D you’re 1 of the sweetest ppl i know,really.i know we don’t talk a lot except to keep up our snapchat streak LOL bt i want you to know you’re awesome!! i hope you don’t get too stressed out with sch,rmbr to take care of yourself & get enough sleep & food~ i hope my insta feed (aka 99% food ahem) brightens up your day (or i should say what i reblog actually bcos BTS??).ily <3

@ahoneyyboyy @yoongsb:

nicole/ji~ ^^ i guess it’s a little weird to be combining a dedication like this bt i pretty much have the same thing to say anyway,so i hope it doesn’t make it seem any less heartfelt/sincere!we haven’t been talking much recently,bt i’m really grateful to have exchanged many long msges with you.you’re both amazing ppl & i hope you’re doing great!!glad to have met you <3

@cuteseokjin @jinandtonics:

katie/steph! :) i don’t really feel like we’ve had the chance to talk a lot,bt you’re both lovely ppl & it’s always nice to have someone to scream abt fic with (*cough* yoonjin) :p also fellow jin stans!!always a bonus.i hope you’re doing well & i’m glad to have met you!! :D

@kimvitae:

steph!!idk what to say here that i haven’t alr covered bcos our msges are ridiculously long (rip to kkt eating them) bt i guess i talk more abt fandom/life than actually any sort of appreciation so i want to say thank you for listening & contributing your views :p you’re awesome & i’m glad we met!!i hope you have better luck rmbring your passwords LOL & that sch doesn’t kick your ass too much.rmbr i’m always here to listen if you need it!ily <3

@taechimseok:

joyce!!did i ever mention the friend who got me into BTS has the same name as you?cos that still amuses me :p i guess we don’t talk a lot,honestly,bt i want to you to know that you’re a lovely person (who’s into an amazing amt of bands..i did multi fandom fine back then bt i can’t do it for kpop grps lol,too much commitment,so thumbs up for you managing it!) & i enjoy seeing you on insta (though you probably see me much more,really) or snapchat~ also thanks for the recreations idea hehe,it was an interesting way to spend a day :) glad to have met you <3

@poedameron @babydrriver @merlinn:

maggie/adrija/lauren ^^ i know we barely talk,except keeping up our snapchat streak (well,this bit isn’t applicable to lauren :p) bt i want to say i’m glad we met!you’re all lovely ppl & i know you’re busy with your lives,so good luck with sch & everything else!!i hope you’re all doing good & i’ll always be a listening ear if you need 1 :D p.s. maggie,you still have the honor of being the 1st (& only) tumblr friend i’ve met irl hehe

@matthewbane @sprinkleofharries:

sara/lola~ :) i haven’t talked to either of you in ages,honestly..idk if you even still rmbr me,cos my blog content has changed pretty much completely (i still post what i used to at a sideblog though!bt it’s nt active).anyhow,you’re both lovely ppl & i’m glad to have met you ^^ this is a reminder you can always pm me again - add me on kkt or telegram if you have either of those,maybe we’ll do a better job at keeping in touch on diff apps or pm me if you want to add me on insta/snapchat (sara i think i have you on both of those,though i only see you on the former sometimes xD).i hope you have been doing well in the meantime!! :D

@consulting-lawyer-boyfriends:

eileen :) idk if you still rmbr me,i’m pretty sure the last time we talked was months ago?it seems like ages ago when we 1st talked tbh,back when i was still into sherlock & suits..anyhow,you can always pm me again if you feel like it!we can always catch up on our lives,if nth else xD glad to have met you!

@otayurl:

gaia~ it’s still funny to think we met when we were into shadowhunters & then got into YOI & free! together.we haven’t talked properly for sometime,bt i hope you’re doing great!!you’re a lovely person & i’m really glad to have met you :D ily <3 i hope your day goes amazing bcos you deserve it!rmbr i’m always here if you need to talk ^^ (add me on kkt or telegram maybe,snapchat is really a terrible platform for keeping up a convo i swear)

@kimtaehyungl:

sam!!hello neighbour~ xD despite the lack of actual convo - from what we’ve said to each other so far you seem like a lovely person & i’m really glad to have met you (& started talking outside of gcs lol i’m lowkey terrible in those).i hope you’re doing great!!you’re amazing & ily <3 i’m always here if you need a listening ear (LOL that rhymed omg maybe jin & his dad jokes infected me ahem)~ 

@orhchid​:

jia~ :) i know we haven’t talked all that much but from what we have said to each other you seem like a lovely person (who is v busy xD).i hope 2017 hasn’t treated you too badly and that 2018 treats you well!!may it be full of smiles & happy memories & hopefully things aren’t too hectic.rmbr to take care of yourself & if you need a listening ear feel free to talk to me ^^

#mine.txt #those ppl i tagged who don't post kpop i'm sorry abt the header LOL #they're probably foreign to you bt BTS is amazing and i love them (also nu'est) #also i tagged all of you in a follow forever previously if you missed it it's the only other post under mine.txt on my blog #i actually meant to post this on my birthday then i dragged it to xmas and here i am posting it during the last day of the year instead #oh well :p