Jude’s 32nd Birthday Wishlist
Yeah, I’m posting this now. Because if I’m getting the holiday prompt list up for everyone else I might as well.
This year has been a fucking nightmare. You’ve all seen my posts about what’s been happening in my life. With my mom, and the house, and the mortgage and everything. It’s just been blegh. So I might as well.
That’s why when I put this together I made it entirely villains and antagonists.
07th Expansion: Featherine Augustus Aurora
The majestic Witch of Spectating and Theatergoing, who is said to have died and come back to life to surpass the realm of witches. She’s considered to be a total monster by the likes of Bernkastel, and has the power to simply pull out reality’s script and change it at her whim if she feels like it.
Avengers: June Covington (Scarlet Witch/Toxie Doxie)
A scientist with an affinity for poisons and body augmentation, she has no regard for human life and enjoys experimenting on herself. She served as Norman Osborn’s Scarlet Witch in his second version of the Dark Avengers.
Batman: Nocturna
Natalia Knight, a morally complicated jewel thief who fell in love with Batman, and later became the foster mother of Jason Todd. Her relationship to Bruce and Jason was erased thanks to Crisis on Infinite Earths. Unfortunately, later characters using the Nocturna name have been written as sexual predators, though they are NOT Natalia Knight.
Captain America: Superia/Broad-Stripe
Diedre Wentworth is a noted misandrist who has tried to take over America using an organization of all female supervillains called the Femizons. She at one point altered time by inserting herself into the early days of the Avengers under the name “Broad-Stripe.”
Courage the Cowardly Dog: Benton Tarantella
In life, Benton was a serial killer who posed as an amateur director. He killed over a dozen people before he was finally put in prison. Benton spent the rest of his life behind bars and died, but came back as a zombie.
Dial H for Hero: Ayenbite
A shadowy spirit of remorse summoned when Q-U-E-D is dialed.
Doom Patrol: The Toy
A later member of the Brotherhood of Dada.
She’s often late, and people die because of it.
Flash: Lady Flash
Christina Alexandrova, a.k.a. Lady Savage, Lady Savitar, what have you. A Russian speedster and cocaine addict who became obsessed with Wally West.
Goosebumps: Lucy and the Camp Spirit Moon ghosts
Campers and counselors who were killed by a mysterious black fog, left to haunt the grounds of Camp Spirit Moon. Their only means of escape is to possess a living body. Anyone who tries to leave the camp on their own becomes part of the black fog.
Graveyard School: Aunt Mab
Kyle Chilton’s supposed great aunt, or rather his grandfather’s aunt’s cousin or something. She looks extremely young for her age to the point she doesn’t seem human. She enjoys subtly screwing with Kyle’s head.
Green Lantern: Lord Malvolio
A mysterious alien whose parents were a Green Lantern and an Earth woman. His battles with Hal Jordan ended with the implication that Malvolio tampered with Hal’s ring.
Gundam: Katejina Loos
A selfish young woman who tried not to get involved with the League Militaire’s battle against the Zanscare Empire, only to gradually lose her morals and sanity after she was rescued by Chronicle Asher of BESPA
Iron Man: Hypnotia
A seductive hypnotist and top henchwoman for the Mandarin, she is lusted after by Dreadknight and Blacklash but desires only Tony Stark
Justice Society: Harlequin’s Son
A time lost forgotten antagonist connected with the Justice Society and Infinity Inc., son of Molly Mayne, the original Harlequin
Legend of Zelda: Twinrova
Gerudo sorceresses Koume and Kotake raised Ganondorf and act as his servants, watching over the Spirit Temple and brainwashing the thief Nabooru to serve him. While fighting the Hero of Time, the two combine into Twinrova.
Legion of Super-Heroes: Saturn Queen
Eve Aries of Saturn’s moon Titan. One version of this criminal telepath traveled back in time and helped raise Superman and Batman from childbirth with her cohorts Lightning Lord and Cosmic King. This Eve somehow survived the rebirth and destruction of her universe and ended up in the Phantom Zone.
Magical Girl Raising Project: Melville
A nomad Magical Girl with a rather bizarre speech pattern. She has the power to change her color, letting her blend into the background. Melville wields a harpoon and a bow as her weapon.
She is an ardent supporter of the Musician of the Forest, Cranberry, and will use any means possible to kill her opponents
Mahoney’s: Tormenta
The ebon sorceress and frequent patron of Mahoney’s, she’s crushing hard on server Blender.
Mario: Sue Pea
A ghostly little girl who took a nap and died in her sleep. She haunts the guest room in Luigi’s Mansion.
Power Rangers: Dark Rangers
Lord Zedd’s attempts at creating his own set of Power Rangers. The first group was made up of bullies from Angel Grove High. The second time he went international and recruited criminals from around the globe. The third time, he empowered his minions and a putty duplicate of Rita Repulsa.
Sailor Moon: Zoisite
One of Queen Beryl’s Dark Generals, a smug, vain, and manipulative bastard happy to use underhanded tactics and backstabbing to get what he wants.
Sleeping Beauty: The Evil Fairy
Whether it’s by Disney, Jetlag Entertainment, or Shelley DuVall, she exists to not get invited to the princess’s christening and gets super pissed off. So she curses a baby to die at age 16, and even when the spell’s altered to an eternal slumber, she won’t be deterred. You’ve got your Maleficent, your Odelia, and your Henbane.
Spider-Man: Talon
A “trust fund baby” named Cheyenne who moonlights as a cat burglar, out to steal items of sentimental value from famous people
Static Shock: Madelyn Spaulding
An egotistical and unpopular girl who gained the power to control minds from the Big Bang. She went on a rampage after no one would nominate her for student body president, and tried to take over Dakota.
Supergirl: Superior Girl
Belinda Zee, an unstable duplicate of Linda Lee created when kryptonite rays were filtered through a projector. She’s pretty, popular, and absolutely horrible.
Superman: Puzzler
Valerie Van Haaften is an obsessed Superman fangirl who decided to get his attention by become a supervillain. She now has a body made up of enchanted puzzle pieces she can manipulate with her mind.
Super Sentai: The Flowery Kunoichi Team
Also known as the “Hanarangers,” the Kunoichi Team is made of evil, floral themed women who were created to fight the Kakurangers.
Titans: Dark Angel
An evil, demonic witch obsessed with making Donna Troy as absolutely miserable as possible. She’s the person who destroyed Donna’s past and succeeded in making it impossible for it to be straightened out.
Urusei Yatsura: Ran
A supposed best friend of Lum, Ran puts on the façade of a cutesy homemaker who loves frilly things and baking, when she’s really a vindictive, manipulative succubus capable of sucking the vitality out of people through her lips.
Wonder Woman: Blue Snowman
Byrna Brilyant, a gender fluid immoral scientist who stole their father’s invention of “blue snow” and uses it for the sake of monetary gain.
X-Men: Nanny and Orphan-Maker
A pair of traumatized mutants who try to “save” mutant children by killing their human parents
Yu-Gi-Oh: The Kageyama Sisters
Risa Kageyama and her identical sisters are obsessed with Duel Monsters and have built their deck around the Hecate Sisters
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No paywall version here.
"Two and a half years ago, when I was asked to help write the most authoritative report on climate change in the United States, I hesitated...
In the end, I said yes, but reluctantly. Frankly, I was sick of admonishing people about how bad things could get. Scientists have raised the alarm over and over again, and still the temperature rises. Extreme events like heat waves, floods and droughts are becoming more severe and frequent, exactly as we predicted they would. We were proved right. It didn’t seem to matter.
Our report, which was released on Tuesday, contains more dire warnings. There are plenty of new reasons for despair. Thanks to recent scientific advances, we can now link climate change to specific extreme weather disasters, and we have a better understanding of how the feedback loops in the climate system can make warming even worse. We can also now more confidently forecast catastrophic outcomes if global emissions continue on their current trajectory.
But to me, the most surprising new finding in the Fifth National Climate Assessment is this: There has been genuine progress, too.
I’m used to mind-boggling numbers, and there are many of them in this report. Human beings have put about 1.6 trillion tons of carbon in the atmosphere since the Industrial Revolution — more than the weight of every living thing on Earth combined. But as we wrote the report, I learned other, even more mind-boggling numbers. In the last decade, the cost of wind energy has declined by 70 percent and solar has declined 90 percent. Renewables now make up 80 percent of new electricity generation capacity. Our country’s greenhouse gas emissions are falling, even as our G.D.P. and population grow.
In the report, we were tasked with projecting future climate change. We showed what the United States would look like if the world warms by 2 degrees Celsius. It wasn’t a pretty picture: more heat waves, more uncomfortably hot nights, more downpours, more droughts. If greenhouse emissions continue to rise, we could reach that point in the next couple of decades. If they fall a little, maybe we can stave it off until the middle of the century. But our findings also offered a glimmer of hope: If emissions fall dramatically, as the report suggested they could, we may never reach 2 degrees Celsius at all.
For the first time in my career, I felt something strange: optimism.
And that simple realization was enough to convince me that releasing yet another climate report was worthwhile.
Something has changed in the United States, and not just the climate. State, local and tribal governments all around the country have begun to take action. Some politicians now actually campaign on climate change, instead of ignoring or lying about it. Congress passed federal climate legislation — something I’d long regarded as impossible — in 2022 as we turned in the first draft.
[Note: She's talking about the Inflation Reduction Act and the Infrastructure Act, which despite the names were the two biggest climate packages passed in US history. And their passage in mid 2022 was a big turning point: that's when, for the first time in decades, a lot of scientists started looking at the numbers - esp the ones that would come from the IRA's funding - and said "Wait, holy shit, we have an actual chance."]
And while the report stresses the urgency of limiting warming to prevent terrible risks, it has a new message, too: We can do this. We now know how to make the dramatic emissions cuts we’d need to limit warming, and it’s very possible to do this in a way that’s sustainable, healthy and fair.
The conversation has moved on, and the role of scientists has changed. We’re not just warning of danger anymore. We’re showing the way to safety.
I was wrong about those previous reports: They did matter, after all. While climate scientists were warning the world of disaster, a small army of scientists, engineers, policymakers and others were getting to work. These first responders have helped move us toward our climate goals. Our warnings did their job.
To limit global warming, we need many more people to get on board... We need to reach those who haven’t yet been moved by our warnings. I’m not talking about the fossil fuel industry here; nor do I particularly care about winning over the small but noisy group of committed climate deniers. But I believe we can reach the many people whose eyes glaze over when they hear yet another dire warning or see another report like the one we just published.
The reason is that now, we have a better story to tell. The evidence is clear: Responding to climate change will not only create a better world for our children and grandchildren, but it will also make the world better for us right now.
Eliminating the sources of greenhouse gas emissions will make our air and water cleaner, our economy stronger and our quality of life better. It could save hundreds of thousands or even millions of lives across the country through air quality benefits alone. Using land more wisely can both limit climate change and protect biodiversity. Climate change most strongly affects communities that get a raw deal in our society: people with low incomes, people of color, children and the elderly. And climate action can be an opportunity to redress legacies of racism, neglect and injustice.
I could still tell you scary stories about a future ravaged by climate change, and they’d be true, at least on the trajectory we’re currently on. But it’s also true that we have a once-in-human-history chance not only to prevent the worst effects but also to make the world better right now. It would be a shame to squander this opportunity. So I don’t just want to talk about the problems anymore. I want to talk about the solutions. Consider this your last warning from me."
-via New York Times. Opinion essay by leading climate scientist Kate Marvel. November 18, 2023.
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so, nerdy loser college boy choso *sighs* *opens legs*
a/n: just so you know, this man is gonna make you do all the hard work for a piece of that loser boy dick 😮💨 so... um so at some point around 2000 words in i realised this is way more than a hc post :3 eat it up if you will!
nerdy!choso who borderline has no friends except his gaming buddies who doesnt meet irl like ever. he doesnt like going to classes, especially this one. he doesnt need it but it's a requirement for all first years. and boy is glad it is when he sees you come in.
nerdy!choso who only listens to discussions when you're talking. suddenly he needs to put down his headphones and nod at every word you're saying. his eyes follow every gesture of your hand, every sway of your ass, every single time you fix your hair.
nerdy!choso who is starting to get a bit enamored with you, your style, your way of speaking. he loses track of time gawking at you in class from the last benches as you prettily do all the work in the class. he hates how beautifully your hair falls on your face, how nicely your clothes fit you despite being pretty modest for college. he hates how he can see the silhouette of your tits when you turn to the side. but he's too much of a gentleman to keep looking.
nerdy!choso who ends a game early when he remembers you, lying and saying that he had promised someone to meet them somewhere. the place is his bathroom and the person was you. god, you really shouldn't wear those tight jeans to class y'know? how will he continue to be a gentleman if you do?
nerdy!choso who despises groupwork but prays to dear god this class has some reason to pair you two together. he's getting so desperate to talk to you knowing damn well he too pussy to do it on his own. and the lord answers his prayers, the teacher assigns groups of three for a presentation. it's you, him and some slacking trust fund baby.
nerdy!choso who is about to combust and have a full blown panic attack when he sees you approach him after class with that smile on your face that would make the angels swoon. you're going on about distributing the work equally and what not while he is trying his fucking hardest to not accidently make eye contact with you and piss his pants : (
nerdy!choso who now has your name, your number and your email and he feels like the happiest man on earth. his hands are literally shaking as he responds to your request to call. he's overthinking every word he types.
choso: yeah i can do wednesday.
choso: i'll be okay with whatever day you want.
nerdy!choso who hops on video call and short circuits with a view of you in an oversized band tee and a brief view of your room. why did you have to be this pretty? why did you have to video call him when you couldve done the work on text? why did you have to put your hair up like that? why oh why did you have you say "choso? hey, you there?" so seductively to bring him back to the present?
nerdy!choso who gets like no work done in a 30 minute call which felt like three hours. he knew he would hardly be paying attention so decided to record the call with your consent, saying he'd need the notes you were typing out on screen only to play it back and stroke his dick to you for what might've have been the twentieth time this week. his strokes only getting faster as you say his name in that voice he imagines sounds way better moaning and screaming it instead.
nerdy!choso who, after the presentation, is on greeting terms with you when he sees you studying in the library. he sits as far away from you as he can while still being able to see you. occupying the coziest corner of the library to stare at you study right when you come up to him.
"can i join you, choso? i'm all alone and your space seems comfy" you say with a smile, "of course, i dont mean to disturb you, is saw you were on your own too, so..."
uh oh, uh oh, uh oh. god no. please no. please dont say yes. please dont be staring at her like some dumb idiot (too late) please.
"uh... yeah sure why not?" he awkwardly says as he makes room for you to keep your things. he was such an idiot for thinking he could say no to your pretty face in the first place.
nerdy!choso who is absolutely drunk on your scent. it feels way better than any alcohol he's ever had. he feels like an animal in heat when he smells your sugary perfume mixed with the styrofoam-y air conditioned smell of the library. you're gonna kill him, yknow? how is he supposed to respond to this? what is one to do when their stupid college crush sits next to them? he gives you a half smile before furiously typing away on reddit, the only place with answers for losers like him.
nerdy!choso whose hands. oh his hands. (can be i a big whore for a second?) his long hands that feel like they're the size of your face. his kempt, beautiful and trimmed nails. his lengthy fingers that seem to yearn for something more to foddle with than just the keyboard or controller. he typed as such an insane pace it made your pussy ache. he was going so fast, jesus. those hands were meant to do more than just ask "how to talk to girls" on reddit.
nerdy!choso who (on the advice of reddit) asks if you would want him to order something for you. you tell you had a frappuccino not too long ago and that it was quite sweet and filling. and he hates himself for thinking that he could give you something much sweeter and filling than that like a horny fourteen year old.
nerdy!choso who is now determined to not come off as a creep so he does his work with the focus of four adderalls. he is typing as fast as his heartbeat, not realising he got two classes worth of work done in just an hour. he looks over at you, blissfully unaware of the absolute war in his mind.
nerdy!choso who feels as though if he doesn't muster up the courage to ask you out right then and there, he'll probably be the biggest loser on the planet. (as if he wasn't already)
nerdy! pathetic! choso who stutters a million times and barely gets the job done then too. his eyes are scanning your entire being (trying his best to not gawk at your tits) for any sign of discomfort.
"so- uhh so ummm... wo-would you, like, uh... like to do this again? sometime?... i got a.. a lot of work done today, so.."
oh heavens, the sheer nervousness in his tone makes you want to pull his pants down and show him how to really get work done.
you agree with a smile, even suggesting a better, more ambient (more romantic) cafe to study in. choso's heart is about to burst and flood the fucking library with his blood the way it is beating at an alarming rate.
"umm yeah uh 5 sounds... awesome... i hope it isn't a-a bother to you?"
"no way, choso. i loved today," you offer him a smile as you gather your things, "i really like your hair, by the way"
"i like your hair too, y-y-you smell very nice", he gulps.
fuck. why did he say that? what? you smell nice? who says that? is he like ten? you can't help but giggle at the sheer embarassment on his face.
he feels as though he's gonna melt into a puddle and turn to stone and throw up all at the same time.
nerdy!choso who is the most stupidly hot guy you've ever met, you think as you go giggling back to your dorm. mental note: pick a skimpy outfit for 5pm ;)
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