march + april rotation
it’s gonna be...... may finally posting the march + april rotation playlist. combining these two months since most of the music i listened to in march was off the previous rotation list!
flowers in my hair - calista garcia: sweet, slow, and syrupy. i love this song and how it feels like a breath of fresh air. it’s achingly romantic and has got me singing along and twirling my hair and kicking my feet. though, at the same time it’s so intimate i feel like i’m intruding
back for more - nia hendricks: the usual type of slow groove beat i adore that makes me want to dance around with the love of my life. it’s just as sweet as the previous one but it feels... lonely. mournful. i’d be dancing but with a ghost
bodybag - charlotte lawrence: this song is so *clenches fist* i am obsessed with how the body bag fills in for the other person in the relationship and holds her when they can’t or refuse to! the relationship is already dead! she’s holding on! in that liminal space between resurrection and burial! also the vocals in this are insane. my favorite part is ‘she’s at the bowery bar, showed you her paper heart’ and then ‘help me hurt and then i’ll come back’ YEOW
gasp of air - lisa curtis: THIS SONG MAKES ME WANT TO SING AND SCREAM ALONG AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS!!!!!!!!! and then the lyrics slapped me across the face. ‘but i’ll stay and such ‘cause i think it’s love enough’ ‘i’m yours enough that i come back’ ‘some water if i’m lucky but i would never ask that much’ ‘what kind of person needs to breathe A HEALTHY ONE I’M SURE BUT THAT’S NOT ME’??????????
nothing left to give - BAILEN: ‘i wanna live i’m sick of just trying to survive’ *looks into the camera* anyway. obsessed with this band and how weird this song sounds
kilimanjaro - dolores forever: this song and the next have me asking how songs can be this good. like. is it crack? is that what they put in these?? the music and the vocals are EVERYTHING it’s unlike anything i’ve heard recently and i’m digging it. then the harmonies?? and the lyrics???? ‘a thousand shards of glass from your silver tongue got me like a shot gun’ the way ‘i was young. you were pure ice and snow’ IS SUNG?????? WTF
labour - paris paloma: this has been my hype song for the past few weeks. the intensity of it still continues to blow my mind. it’s unapologetic and awful. it’s incredible. i felt every lyric in my gut. i don’t want to over explain it since i can’t do the song justice but it’s so brutally honest in describing and dismantling traditional roles placed upon women and girls. the entirety of it is like poking at a wound that never closes, a wound that’s been gaping and bleeding for centuries and it makes me so angry. the visceral reaction i had to the lyric ‘if we had a daughter’ girl i- ouuuuugh. i got sick to my stomach. i was screaming crying throwing up etc etc. anyway this song is a masterpiece. still haven’t recovered from it. also it’s a fucking bop.
bad blood - trousdale: another banger for the books!! trousdale always delivers these perfect harmonies and this time it’s a fantastic, bitter song but that’s not the only element! there’s indifference and confusion and acceptance! there’s healing! and the repetition of anyway *patcha holding earbuds meme* perfection
all the love - katie gregson-macleod: katie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! how am i supposed to live laugh love in these conditions!!!!!!!! this one is SO SAD. i ache each time i listen to it. it doesn’t apply to romantic love but all other types of love and what happens when you lose it and how you deal with that loss. the grief is so thick it’s almost suffocating but as always the way she sings is enough for it to not be overwhelming. every lyric hits but the combination of her voice with ‘but i’d rather do that in bed alone’ is my favorite
BONUS: here are a few stray songs that didn’t quite fit in the narrative but i wanted to share them anyway :)
far and wide - WILDES: doesn’t quite fit the narrative, but it’s a good follow up to all the love. it’s toned down more and easier to get lost in, but still woven with the running strand of grief that makes it sorrowful. once again, back at it with the yearning
ava - famy: this song had me by the throat the first time i heard it in teen wolf and it still does. chewing glass over the switch between ‘this world is primal’ + ‘this world is rabid’ to ‘this world is pure’ + ‘this world is learning’ and ‘my conscious burning, my beastly flaw’
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Honestly, your comics about the Emperor have really helped me parse my own complicated feelings about him. Because like, it's not as if I didn't want to trust him and find that good in him. There were times when I felt like I could see it. But as I played more, I just felt like that trust wasn't truly reciprocated.
Anyway, apologies for the rambling. Your art and comics are awesome, and Greygold is great.
I've been trying to think how to respond to this because I can RELATE but in a - beyond constructively sophisticated sounding words- way huar.
Because without -ANY- kind of hindsight, Zip Zilch NADA, this game is really REALLY good (OH SO GOOD) at portraying the Emperor as a very complicated and extremely-hard-to-trust character.
You are absolutely valid in feeling conflicted and confused with all the uncertain-in-between inner conflicts for this dingus of a squid.
Unlike Greygold, I, too, was absolutely struggling to find some form of strong evidence, validation, reassurance, SOMETHING FOOL-PROOF, to fully trust this illithid during the entire playthrough.
If it weren't for the bloodhound hunting need to find all that is lore in this game, BOY WOULD IT HAVE ALMOST BEEN NEAR IMPOSSIBLE TO TRUST THIS SQUID AT ALL for me. Those lil sneaky paper trail crumbs of 'emps just doing it's best' are what gave me enough hope to trust in spite of the overwhelming counter-lore, doubts, and Emps' terrible tact continuously just NOT HELPING IT'S CASE.
but Trust. Trust is, I suppose, the key theme for this squid. Classic 'ultimately down to your core values on what you would do with the most trust-issue-y morally grey squid to ever squid this damn squid game'.
Or as friggin' Withers likes to say: What is the value of one life to you? (friggin' Withers, man)
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If I ever make you uncomfortable following you on different social medias please forgive me, I have Autism and don't always realize and get super excited following my favorite Twitter/AO3 people. Even when you don't post things related to the fandom I joined in on it's still cool to see how you all are as individuals and expressing yourselves if that makes sense
i'm guessing you also know me from twitter (before i stopped tweeting on there anyway) and/or ao3 as they're the only other things i'm on but honestly it's all cool don't worry, i know i've linked to my tumblr from both those platforms before and vice versa so it's all good, but also who is this?
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may music rotation
this month might not have been a super great month for music but from what i found it was a FANTASTIC month for lyrics and summer-esque songs!!!!!!!
back home - mila ziska: this song is so melancholic and sweet and it embodies the spirit of summer so cleanly. ‘harvest all the seeds i’ve sown pick the fruit once you come back home’ ‘i have this force within me it pulls me like the ocean tide’ and ‘oh growing up is a strange thing it’s like it happens over night’ i’ve been here for centuries. i’ve been here for days. i am every age i have ever been but i still know nothing. i am old and i am young and i am trying to come home. i want to go home. all stories are about coming home!!!!!!!
also this song is formally VERY similar to ‘the best day’ by taylor swift so that of course made it hit even harder
quarter life crisis - isabel dumma: talk about bop!!!! the chorus is amazing and so so so accurate and then the bridge??? ‘floatin’ ain’t the same as swimmin’ i know i ain’t drowning but breathin’ isn’t livin’
vagabond - overcoats: THIS song. this song has been the one i’ve played most this month because one it’s an absolute banger and second of all it read me for filth and the lyrics are so beautifully crafted and honest and pure and delivered impeccably. it’s a sweet, slow melody and coupled with the lyrics it reached into the depths of my soul and pulled out everything i can’t say and put it into this song like
‘i’m just learning how to make peace with feeling small’ ‘but i might drive off if it gets too hard’ ‘there’s always a sunset that i wanna run into’ ‘i’m searching but i’m not lost’ and my all time favorite lyric that put me on the floor when i heard it the first time- ‘i’m a growing tree a few missing leaves i can’t shelter you don’t sit under me’ HELLO?????
anyway, i am a HUGE fan of the overcoats and i am so proud of them for their success and for their new album!!!!! which is where this song is from but have i been able to listen to it yet? no i keep playing this song on repeat
fireworks - JOSEPH: now for ANOTHER song that read me for filth. lately i’ve been feeling this exact way since all my friends and people around me have reached certain milestones in life- such as getting married, settling down, etc- that i haven’t and i’m left even more alone and bereft. but THIS SONG said that’s okay!!!!!!!! this song understood!!!!!! it said i’m not alone feeling this way!!!!
every lyric absolutely sent me through the roof but these especially: ‘all these long songs might be no good for me’ ‘how long will i wait to be happy all my friends ask me’ ‘what if i’m wrong wrong to think there’s more to this story’ ‘an act of faith even though it hurts to shut that door am i holding out forever?’ ‘am i headstrong or foolish every night waiting for lighting to strike whole you’ve got blue skies?’ and my favorite- ‘i wish i could just flip a switch and accept your kind of muted bliss’ WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! once again HOW did they put it into words!!!!!! this song has such a special place in my heart. i can’t tell you how many times i’ve not only listened to it but also screamed along and cried to it
also, JOSEPH always creates the most compelling and just fun to listen to songs and this is no exception!!!!!!!!! the harmonies are delicious and the music dropping at certain points is incredible and the beat has me dancing around the room. filed right under beach music!
waves crash - JOSEPH: ok yes another song that turned me inside out and shook loose every embarrassment and fear and secret that i kept hidden and turned it into a song that said it’s okay!!!!!!! i understand!!!!! you are still worthy!!!!!
again, every lyric is a masterpiece. ‘i’m a tall tall tree reaching up in the breeze’ *crying* i AM a tree!!!!!!! ‘i’m a limb of goodness in motion’ you’re getting emotional over nature comparisons? THE TREE AND OCEAN METAPHORS GOT TO ME OKAY. speaking of oceans in this, the chorus is insane. ‘waves crash clouds break yet here i am ashamed of all the cracks trying to glue the right mask in place’ shut up!!!!!!!!!! it’s a ballad. it’s everything. the vocalizations made me cry. they are cries. it sent me to my knees
wild uncharted waters - jonah hauer-king: i saw the little mermaid in theaters recently and boy was i NOT prepared for eric to sing but honestly????? best song in the movie and on the album. idk if it was the euphoria of hearing it for the first time or the sheer surprise but this song is a banger.
‘all i ever wanted was the open sky and sea’ SO REAL. ‘now i am on the shoreline but i am still lost at sea’ ‘in my mind your melody goes on stronger than the undertow’ ‘when your eyes outshine the horizon line’ ‘now i’m right here on the shoreline i’m right where you left me’ how am i supposed to live laugh love in this situation!!!!!!!!!! do i even need to say it!!!!!!!
look back - dora jar: so delicate!!!!!!!! had my attention right from the jump. the imagery is spun with each lyric and metaphor (more ocean metaphors!!!!!) and the overall tone of grief and determination and love. ‘but i think i saw your memory washed up on the sand i let it stick to my skin traced it with my hand’ wtf. it has such strong apocalyptic vibes. not necessarily apocalyptic in the strict sense that the entire world has been destroyed and is suffering but apocalyptic in the sense that one person’s world has been destroyed whether by their own volition or not
bonus songs:
tunnel vision - imani graham: poignant!!!! ‘am i to blame for your bad habits oh i wish i said something but ignored all my needs’ ‘I stumbled through the chaos but found what I believe in tripping on the eggshells that you placed underneath me’ WHEW!
also formally reminds me of both ‘want want’ and ‘anywhere with you’ by maggie rogers
red wine supernova - chappell roan: this song is weird and i love it. i also love everything chappell roan produces, of course, but i really love how clever she is with lyrics and ‘you said you like magic well i got a wand and a rabbit’ BLEW MY MF MIND also her vocals are insane
all the stars - mree: the album and and the title got to me okay? i love how groovy and gentle this is
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some of my favorite 20k leagues moments (that need to be in every adaptation) are the parts where aronnax, who apparently has never heard of imperialism in his 40 years of existence, gets slowly radicalized by nemo
aronnax: yay we get to look at some pearls :)
nemo: almost all of the pearl fisheries here are occupied by the english
aronnax: oh. well i'm sure the fishermen are treated well :)
nemo: ...no. they're treated horribly.
aronnax: oh no D: but i'm sure they get paid for their labor :)
nemo: uh...no. pretty much all of the profits go to the empire.
aronnax: oh no D:
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