thatssogurky-blog
that's so gurky
"what's our description?" ... It's gurky, man.
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Cath(y) becomes YOU -a cycle happening near you Part Deux
I just want to start it with a greeting.
Deer S'next,
We have gartled here with Carlgh to stalk your cat problems. Number 1, we gotta stop stealing everyone's dream boxes. Those are secrets! To your harp. to your heat. to your fart. to your livelihood.
SAFETY-U HAZARD TIP ... chairs <no> back-backs. I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry. But this is getting out of hands.
He is dead. Thanks for nothing, guys! He's still in the kitchen.
i'm going down down down down.... etc to get you!
Anywhoooooopie we had plans to disquees discos to divgestulate. next meeting @ taco day casa casa house casa Ave.
meatloaf is the most important gland foir the Cat... who we shall forever remembfart as Cathy7693
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Becometh Yo'r Cath (Naan Negotiable#)
Ok good. Grow. I still believe in you, SUN.
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OUT OF ORDER
EVAQUEATE IMMEDJIAHATELY!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!!!ONE!!!!!1111!!!!EXCLAMATION POINT!!!!!!1
Now, a picture.
#chicken#bieber#suckstobeYOU#sorryi'mnotsorry#didyouseeUP?#ihaventbutihearsomegoodthings#ileftmykeysinthecarcanyoucallsomeone?#cats#Cats in hats#catsinbags#catsinbagdhad#canugetit?#lol
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HORRORSCOPE DE DEUCE
SAND-SUNG WEDGE (12 of Noodle, Banana Joe Day, My Day, and 16th of Soup Knees)
Your milk is going to GO BAD. You're NOT going to get your paycheck. Good luck! This will happy every yolk day from now on after the second setting of your father's pet rabbit's lunchbox -- BECAUSE you're going to GET IN TROUBLE.
"I like it!" </end quote please and I thank you>
HORRORSCOPE QUOTE OF THE DAY: "We better keep laughing now because of your life is just going to be, like, terrible."
BONUS QUOTE: "Humor softens the pain...sometimes."
WHO SAID THAT??
Send in your answers, you have 5 guesses!
Here are your choices:
A. A bucket of open flies named Maureeeem.
2. A high school meth teacher and his pet monkey. (See blow)
Good glorb my glorbens, my heavenly angels. And you dust mites too! We cannot not never forget the choo choo trains. Keep me in your pocket! And I will keep you in mine. Forever never always, the Milkmeister Man's brother. AKA Server to your birthday name authority figure. Don't fight the stick stone!
Signed seal and a liver, I'm yours!
Veggie!
One more picture:
Janet, we know.
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Ice Weasel Frontier Horoscope Predicts: Thank You, Part of It Is Here Sorry It's Not More
Lawn long time tomorrow! Hence here, our forced feathers present a BRAND NEWT production of the GURKY hit single (it's coming out of space tomorrow FOR YOU!): MAYNANOMAISE'ZS!
(That's YOUR new pet icee weasel! We already named him for YOU but you get to spell it.)
HORRORSCOPES (Disc-claimer: Everyone of the GURKY HORRORCOPES except for ONE will die by the end.)
Here we go!
SQUID SINKS -- The 11th of Marn to the THIRD of Also Marn
Let's just get one string straight for once, Larry. LARRRRRYYYY. There is nothing you can do. Give us all of your toe socks or ELSE. It will ease the pain. By the moonthe we sail, slightly backward, through endless pastabillies (hillbillies made of pasta) wondering where the beans are. Corn is important too. NEVER FORGET. By the 77th hour of THE DAY you will have bustered enough corn hands to power all of China so good luck with that, I guess. I know you be flasking, "Hey there sailor, China ain't in Gurky at all!", and to you I slay: "Big deal, whoopty doop!". Is this the song about the brother on skates?
BEDAZZLED TOMATE-TOES! TOO MANY TOMATE-TOES!!
There she is! You must find her again if you want to live. Hurry! We love you!
#bieber haircut#save money#gurky#all thinks gurky#morpheus#tom arnold#athletes#steroids#lance#puppies#kittens#love#baseball
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Gürm Bahrt, To Your's?
It's the newest day of this YesterYear for all us baby shaped pear bottoms in THE HALL OF JORM BREADSTICKS! Hoooooopie dreams was my favorite mubie! But only the french subletterfixed marathon that runs for all the new year's souls!!!!!
Every single song a-has the same baste line. Buttttter clap our hands for everyone's me-mom.
It looks like this guy:
No, I'm sorry the G is messed up so pleace meth dental that song. SMACK THE Geeep.
OR ELSE?
The chaotic PR of information is in the air. That is Meatloaf Towers prodices, his apartment complex themed theme park. But anyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyhoot I forgot to mention the supermoon is making its way through the Dogfood and all of these stratic-gies are losing their pants. I'm talking about TV (can TV stand for something Mail in your answers).
SOOOOOOOOO you are the only one who can survive this weird thing that is happening brought to your by smooooooogle with limited commercial man smashing into your house. I need ketchup.
That's my uncle! He did this to us. Vote for him: Mr. Ameritoes! Snail sauce flour everyone. Pleeeeeeeeeaseeeeeee. He's my uncle like I said. bye bye.
You'll see, or something. Here's another picture!
(Looks like Lucy!) The Lobster.
Okay we gotta wrap it up before the mice start tearing whole peanut butter standwishes into uncle muscles, watch out! It's happening as we speege. Grandma grated gruben gruben (german for my grandma's favorite song -- wink wink -- "Fart"). LIVE OR DIE.
I want to do that. I cant tell if I'm joking. Their BORNE Asian break dancers now. Asians should be cowboys? But if the floor doesn't change collars then skinny raisins mind skate through my heart. No
Nononnnooonoo
No! Please, don't break my go karts. My achey breaky go karts. We were in love a long slime as snow but now he is alllllllll covered in contact lense solution polution.
I'm sorry but you've got to figure it out for yourself.
Don't forget to rake the cake. LOLZ impending doom is upflan us...havvvvvvvvvve a glue!
Just get us 4 easy payments of flaming gurky moneys for a box full of instructions in How to Read This Map for Gold.
"This is a good gurky feel, thank you for quoting me on that," our lord man fishing coach, Cloty hhhhhhhhhhhherben.
#we have cats now!#one low price!#smoke this#hamsters#fail#failure#subscruba to us!#blood clot president#snoop dogg#bed bugs#lolz#tumblr#funny#read this#haha#charlie selena#charles selena gomaz#boo ya#snail sauce#bear#forever is a mighty long time#draw a hashtag#beq22c222#catz
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We have to go to a firm on this EMERGENCY
Look how little it is!
We are selling a book, maybe! That all depends on how hard you want it. TOO QUIET! Turn now your first order of the sheep goes to the will of my Grandadadad's dad. And it goes as fallaws:
Steven: You get NOTHING!!
step 2: Remove all the worms from the warm places in my chest cavity
Polly: I loved you in the movie "Don't Forget to Clap" and therefore I leave you my prized leaf collection -all brown ones!
The only problem is that the leaf hole locks from the inside soionce you go get it you will never be able to leave the door of wonders.
Here is an demonstrability:
IT'S CHRISTMAS TIME AGAIN! huzzayyy
Next thing all the money will be burnt by all the memories who froze my fingerbreeze puppet pals and Friends tv programme "worst of" boxset containing all the rare footage dance time party pack dvds easter egg hunt!
Lorbbby: Correct! You win the prize of signing all the papers to go to the chicken relief fund. As the santa police department sanitation project starts head of steak you are the only responsible daughtear that I have so I will not be giving you The RING OF GURKY! I'm sorry. Sad feces. I lost it anyway for being a BAD CLOWN! So you know how that is. HEEEEEBE.
Follow these directions carefully -OR ELSE!
Secrets secrets are all we have so don't go telling it on the mountain man!
That reminds me -we don't want to leave him there anymore. HELP HANK! He's stuck in the mountain.
This is my legacy. START A HELP HANK CAMPAIGN brand champagne. Made from the hoobooodooboo tree! It's a doom tube waiting to flappen'! WHat is in my toe?! OPPORTUNITY! Talk to my 2nd lawnmower's laywer, CornHands. He wrote a script! Trust him with your wife!
He's been missing for 3 days now so if you see him don't let us know for another 3 days because then we get to keep the ransom. IT'S A LOT OF MONKEY MONEY, aka perstranamas. yeah.
Ok I'm dead now, see you soon. jk I wasn't supposed to tell you that, oopsies! wink wink wink wink wink wink wink wink wink wink. plorb!
dead
bye
I'm falling.
it's okay.
don't cry.
just kidding, please cry
a lot
for me
not ANYTHING else
you are my favorite
don't tell the others
dead now again
kthanxbyeeeee
#thats it#lolsuit waiting to happen#lol#kittens#bieber#jimmy stewart#potato pop#how do i do this?#google looks funny lol right now heehe hehehehe#don't EVER forget to brush your mombs#kamboongy#ok
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Tom Cruise Chocolate Puddin' Lion'
HI. Welcome back, Significant Otters, to your final resting place destination for the ZBONX 7g of Love. Love dust. I loveeee dust, it's always been there for me.
That was a very very very short clip from out latest Korean tazor drama BUMBLE FUCK BEES ON MY KNEES?" It was terrible, I don't reccomend remembering it. You will be diabeeeeeeeeetin' you're grandma afterwards alllllmost to the doggy pound. Be afraid. WE NEED ANOTHER pictuRE.
Let me just say something, we're having a contest too! Not a cone test, nor a klown test, nor a corn test, no no no no no no no no no not again.
This is a Segway, into a transition, into the train station plantation in cheeeeeeese. The Traint is Stationary. No taint, that's dumb, ya goof. Uhg the things I have to deal with on a daily basin. Any wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy-who? This contest is for anyone with the will to complete its manditory 73 page recomendation letter and 5-day obstacle course. FREE POPSICLES INCLUDED. Ok, contest is rice.
Who has the best? WE DECIDE! And we did! So don't try!
Contest over, moooooooooo.
oops!
Singing off that's another nice guy!
Say "HI" to your mother's dad's garage boy's plant feeder's waaaaanaaaaaa taaaai in da weeeiiiinnnnnn!
-Chlod and Owly and Meals downstairs!
bleep bloop i always eat all the candy don't do it i'm done with those shits
#justin bieber hebe beebee#huskies#do u have a musky husky try a dusky tusky?#mustard gas#lolz#lol#poop#ice cream monkeys#kablam#kowabungua#oops
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Fair Tidings, Gurklesteins!
(Thank you for the flooding support -- Narcotics Anonymous went great!)
Um um.
Back to the hocus pocus of the matter. The other day my cousin Rob Thomas told me I was up for the next ELECTION!
So I've come to solicit you all for supper!
Zucchini Man approves! That's my uncle! Thanks mom!
PLATFORM:
-Pro Global Warming
WHY? IT'S TOO COLD! WHYYYY! And I have extra salsa that I don't know what to do with.
-Pro Pornography
WHY? Corn. Two words -- BURRRRRP. If I ever made a porno, I would let you star in it! What other politician would do THAT? Not Ron Paul, he'd just cast that Pillsgary Pillman AGAIN! That guy can't even do the swinky swank -- he's always on the downstair beat.
-I'm against DROWNDING.
Why? Am I saying this wrong? I LIKE IT.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fDu8olgmp9M
So there's the goat! Other things I'm against:
-The funky way cheese smells after you leave it in the sun all night
-Grandma's hair gel
-Other green things
-That one time I ran into Gerbl at the store and he thought I was a librarian and I was like, "what's that?", then we went to the drugstore to get drugs but they said they didn't sell no drugs, then I scraped my knee so I went "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" and then "woof woof woof" I'm also part mantleteepiece, did you know that?
-I hate manboobs, and also your boobs look nice
WINK WINK CHICKEN CHICKEN, catch ya on the flip floppity disc, my nurse!
See, I'm hippo?
That's my secretariat bean, DANA
Raise the dead, every Gormmeday!
There's Rita! Can't forget her nose!
Signing off, this has been a Telegumumbgamo production. Come see us!
I just drank some salsa.
Gurk on, as always.
VOTE FOR CHEESE FOR A BETTER GURKYLAND, TOMORROW,
Chlod & Owly
#paper guns#chickens running in space#farting on grandma#goats#goat tee shirts#goat tees#bucket of snails#what's popular#gif#lol#tumblr#stoner#corn#bummer summer bro#porn#sexy naked things#sexy naked grandma where are you i can't find you#ok that sounds good
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Title Non-ovulating
You all know that one about three hundred and 63 dollars. So you don't have to say it to my lawnmower's llamamower Lawyer SAM! These things are Delicake.
Lost!
One Official G
His name is Mr. Sherbert and he keeps away bears and wolves. He does not really fight, he is a pacifist. He sometimes gets high and is prone to drinking on tuesdays. We fear he may have been moon-blinked. He is on a Jenny Craig diet, so if you do find him make sure you only feed him low-fat BREAD.
Glarrrrrrrpy
I once hbtw-0i=rgbcnv jmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmknew a man from France
He did not know how to dance
He pooped his pants
And named it Lance
Bass
And thats the end of my tail
Salamander
these paints are too tight on my hemoglobin
GOBLINS!
Mr. Sherbert
we have your feet, come home.
ALso! your favorite kind of purple is here if you want to ever be seven again.
I dont know what this world means
makes me cry to think of my baby big bird out there all alone in the big scary world
WITHOUT HIS PURPLE!
if you see him please return to sender at the following addressbook
this is how you can make sure you have the RIGHT pigeon
his stare: eyes = wisdomy
his feet: sometimes one
his heart = not as golden as he'll let you on to believe
----he's kind of a wise-ass
average branching skills, at best
morbidly obese
loveable
cheddar
wingspan of about 4 and a half squirrel tails (this is a straight up mother fuckin lie)
... but we like to exasperated to make him feel more confident about his stature
What was i talking about
oh yes!
my favorite dixie Chick
its the other one
not the fat one
although that is Mr Sherbert's favorite
for all the right reasons
i miss him. stop farting chloe, you'll give me daymares
SPELLCHECK IS FOR LAZERS
word to your mothers
chlod and owly
formerly known as Prince
formerly noun as NOT YOUR BUSINESS
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Cantaloupe
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ROLL CALL!
hiiiiiiiiiiyo Gurky!
So we all know about the wind... unfortunately it happens to everyones, gurky. But we must hoot on, for the land has brought the tides crust amongst the ancient skis, we (at-choo!!) sorry I blorp. ANYHOOT, have you heard of these things called OWL?! Nore in Corn we besmirch the wildebeests ( HOW IS THAT RIGHT? ) of cinema on their cinnomonomn toast crunch wrap supremo movio LEGEND OF THE GUARDIANS: THE OWLS OF GA'HOOLE!!
Guardians of Ga'HOOle! Freakin' chicken rock! I give them 17 and a half TOE CRUNCHES out of possible MNEEYYHH. So, you know that it's kewl. Gurky.
"I just saw this movie and my mind has been blown to sardines. Twice. Yum. There's all these owls, they do crazy shit they got the good shit going. Then I cried, and then I cried some more, but we almost ran out tissues for my hemogoblin so I used my NON-PANTS (now available OVER THERE! on your toes! on your neighbor's toes! even your pets' toes IF THEY HAVE ANY). What was I snorkling about? Oh yes! Lunch meat! End quote." - Sven Johnson Smith Jones Sven Again
<3
If ever I could attempt to beseech the danger that these owls witnessed amongst the Sea of Hoolemere, I might someday buy a boat. No parking allowed in the trees. Said he, said he! TWAS FORETOLD.
I FORETOLD YOU SO. Shut your beak, and quit the pellet talk.
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Don't you just hate pants?
DON’T FUSS ANY LONGER. Gurky Co’s got you covered, but not literally! Try our new Non-Pants. They’re like regular pants, but different!
What we’ve created is beyond the realm of current technology. Simply mime putting pants on in the morning, while the Gurky Co Non-Pants Simulator Sensory Device scans your body and applies holographic “pants” to the contours of your body.
Now you can FINALLY go to the grocery store naked, just like God intended, and NOT ONE PERSON WILL NOTICE.
(Testimonial) Hi, I’m Shannah from Savannah, Georgia. I tried Gurky Co’s Non-Pants last summer, and they really changed my life. Regular pants were too constricting and real. My husband and kids were getting worried when I wouldn’t leave the house because I wanted to stay in the nude. But now, I can go anywhere I want naked, and no one gives me crap about it!
Try Gurky Co’s Non-Pants, with a complimentary coffee mug, free for 2 days. If you don’t like them, don’t tell us! Throw them away and forget about your credit card, which will be billed accordingly. We’ll take care of the rest!
That’s Gurky Co’s Non-Pants -- believe in what you can’t feel!
Not to be confused with Nun-Pants. (c)
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Hypothetical Gurky Question
Answer me this, gurkoids:
Is it considered to be against Gurky World Western Anti-Policy Department Law Code Gurky to kill a man for money?
Because I THOUGHT we lived in a TRUE Gurkocracy that wasn't so intent on stealing the MOST sacred of all statutes in our division: the right to murder.
IT'S RIGHT THERE.
Division 1ABFRA - It is hereby stated-forth that no matter the pumpkin in the scissors, nor the gurky in the something else that's also gurky or gurky-ish, a true gurky citizen-oid (gurkoid) may not be punished for the so-called "crime" (potatoes) of murder. READ MY EARS: MURDER IS GURKY.
Gurky out the gurks, that's all peaches and fist bumping,
Chlod (Owly was out camel picking)
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April Gurky!
Widespread plague has hit the grand capitol of Nova-Gurky!
There were no survivors.
Except for those sneaky Northerners.
April Gool's!
But seriously. Everyone died. Send us your Dalmatians for support.
Gurk On and MINIMIZE,
Chlod and Owly.
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Gurking Mall - Buy This.
NEW!
BREAD!
NEW!
New Cigratatoes for Northerners!
Cigarettes! Tatoes! Cigratatoes!
Gurking Mall has beaten science again! Try Cigratatoes in blue! PUT YOUR FOOT IN IT. TRY OTHER FEET TOO.
Be gurky amongst your friends, your families, your aquatic paraphernalia, your Brose Haireo System, and barbara. With our new special Formula, with 63% less cat drool and a special ingredient (it rhymes with jollypop), for all you GURKYFANS out there who are unfortunately prone to walk-like-movements (ohhhhhhhh EGYOY).
In all the years that I've been Gurkying on this World, it has never smelt this way before. Twice.
NEW Cigratatoes, JURST 1400 payments of smashed gurky money things. You can spread the payments in funny patterns (kind of like a rainbow shape) for the rest of your life. And beyond.
GET IT NOW!
Oh Gurky.
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