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thezooreport · 10 years
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Zoo Report 2/19/14
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The little Panda Princess continues to elude her visitors daily.  She has learned to adjust her sleeping schedule to encompass nearly the entire time that her building is open to the public and is frequently seen playing adorably at odd times of the night.  Congrats, you selfish little princess.  No! I didn’t mean that! Don’t hide!  I must see your fuzzy face!
I recently learned that one of the Reptile Curators retired which meant that before she left they had to do an official weighing of all the poisonous reptiles (presumably because there needed to be a certain amount of official people on hand to handle those crazy creatures). I rolled by the Reptile House to get an idea of how big of an undertaking that might be.  I think I fainted. 
BTW, the Reptile House has both a Boa Constrictor and an Anaconda.  How do you even begin to handle one of those behemoths?   I imagine those two engaging in epic battles in the middle of the night with the chameleons and iguanas taking bets.
We have two Andean bear cubs at the moment and they are testing their mettle with the tall trees in their exhibit.  If you see a crowd, you know one of them is waaaaaay up there.  Good luck, little bears!  Good thing you’re well padded!
One of our Sea Lions will play “fetch” with you if you have a hat or glove to throw.  I don’t know if we’re messing with his training/brain/psyche, but gosh is it ever fun!
The North American River Otters make their own luge tracks in the snow and when they hear human voices, they rush out of their den and show off their stuff.  I’m pretty sure they’d sweep the podium if they were in Sochi. 
3pm continues to hold the title of “Hour Most Likely to Produce Kid-Meltdowns”. 
I hope 3pm is very proud of itself.  Fuzzy deities help the Merch Department who faces this horror daily.
This weekend is going to feature nice weather for the first time in many weeks.  Gird your loins, animals, the masses are coming to yell at you to “do something”.  
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thezooreport · 10 years
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Happy Valentines!
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thezooreport · 10 years
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Komodo dragons... Probably one of the scariest and most fascinating creatures.
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via San Antonio Zoological Society - Official Page
Bubba, the Komodo dragon, celebrated his 20th birthday today! Happy Birthday handsome fella!
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thezooreport · 10 years
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Behind The Scenes At The Zoo
Behind the scenes tours are fantastic.  I highly recommend you finagle, bribe or blackmail your way into one.  Being in close proximity to animals that could bite, maim, or devour you… what’s a little fear to liven up your week?
There are even painted lines (I was thinking prison, but maybe that’s just me?) to walk on, stand behind, etc. so you don’t lose your mind and lean against the cheetah cage, or back up into the zebra stall while you’re taking a picture of the kudu. 
Let me tell you a story about zebras: they’ll take your head off if you get close enough (or ear… I know a guy).
This exchange took place…
Guest eying the hog’s tusks warily, “You go in with the Red River Hogs?”
Keeper, “Oh, I’ve only been bitten a few times… well, a lot.”
And this one…
Guest, “What do these birds eat?”
Keeper, “They get meatballs, pinkies and other prepared items.  But really, the hornbills like to hunt in their yard.  Just wait until the spring; they’ll get baby squirrels, baby birds, toads…”
(“Pinkies”: baby mice.  I know.)
And, my furry deities, this one…
Guest, “Are you sure the cheetahs can’t jump down in here with us?”
Keeper, “Well, I can’t say they wouldn’t, but they haven’t yet so far.”
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  In general Zoo news:
Darla says she hates this new schedule where they switch around our start times.  In her own words, “I don’t do this switching times.  I have to get here at my normal time and just sit, otherwise I’ll sleep until my stories come on.  Oh no, I don’t mean stories, I mean game shows.  My grammie told me one thing: don’t you watch no stories and don’t you watch no dog taking a poo.  And I never do.”
Many horticulturists are better with plants than people.
Many animal keepers are better with animals than people.
  If you want a people person, find Rajinish.  He’ll sell you a map and tell you everything you need to know and a few things you didn’t.  I now know where his mother-in-law lives and his 4 former places of employment. 
I wish I could learn to walk away sooner.  
Cheetahs purring… I’m dying a little.  Amazing.
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thezooreport · 10 years
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Twin sisters Mei Huan and Mei Lun at Zoo Atlanta in Georgia, US, on January 29, 2014.
The panda keepers gave Mei Lun and Mei Huan a bucket full of snow to play with. At first they were hesitant, but soon they realized how much fun they could have playing in the snow!
© Zoo Atlanta.
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thezooreport · 10 years
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Ha! Muppet Meerkats.
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thezooreport · 10 years
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The National Zoo's lioness Nababiep (Lion fans in-the-know call her by her nick name, Naba) gave birth to 3 adorable cubs (2 survived) on 1/24.  You can see them on the live cam, watch them on the Youtube channel, and get more pics via the Instagram account.  It's a lion-cub dream.  
I'm literally grabbing at my screen right now trying to squish them.  This is how those merch shops make all that money on plushies.  Feeding off of my insatiable desire to squish the furry cute thing...with...my...hands.  
I'm sorry, I must stop typing now.  I have plushies to squish while I "squee" at the live cam.  
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thezooreport · 10 years
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Zoo Report: Panda Fan & Winter Weather Edition
Panda Fan & Winter Weather Edition:  Well, it has been panda-monium (my furry-gods, that NEVER gets old) around here lately since our baby panda debuted to the general public over the weekend.  I had the “special” privilege of monitoring guest behavior in the Panda House to make sure no one broke in, assaulted or otherwise lost their minds in the presence of our little panda princess. 
I did o-kay.
But I did leave a couple of panda fanatics (yes, this is what the zoo officially/unofficially calls our most rabid fans.  The police is aware of the situation…) to their own devices a little too long for my own entertainment.  Hey, standing in one place by your lonesome from 6am until 4:30pm isn’t as scintillating as it sounds.  A girl’s got to make her own entertainment.
Highlights of the panda experience (note that there is a pretty steady crush of folks trying to get as close as possible to the glass to get the best video/picture/social media experience possible):
-          Panda fan #1 has a motorized scooter that she rams into the back of people’s knees to get closer to the glass.
-          Panda fan #2 has unexpectedly organized a “meet-up” group that will be arriving slightly before we open and they’re demanding exclusive access for an hour.  She bought me a panda bookmark to grease the gears.  Strangely enough, this is all it takes with me… 
-          Panda fan #3, who has her underwear tucked into her shirt, has made friends with Panda fan #4 and they’re playing the one-up game comparing how much panda merchandise they have and how many rooms they have devoted to it.
-          First time visitor #1 is frantic with concern about our baby panda’s seeming inability to walk as deftly as her mom.  I explain that she’s a BABY panda and this is normal.  This is not a convincing explanation for First time visitor #1 and she proceeds to loudly question this conclusion to the air and any surrounding listeners.
-          Adorable-elderly-couple decide that the children aren’t getting a good look amongst the crush of rabid iPhone-holding adults and become my official helpers for the afternoon.  They are frequently checking in with me about crowd levels and escorting kids to the front of the exhibit.  No one questions their authority.  I use the opportunity to take my only bathroom break in 10 hours.  I’m sure this is against some law…
-          Crush of mommies and their minivan-sized strollers made a blockade in front of the exit.  It takes several helpers, Adorable-elderly-couple, and 2 employees to corral said strollers and their matching mommies before yours truly can start yelling “This is clearly a fire hazard!  How much coffee have you NOT had this morning?  Who thought this would be a good idea?!”  Crisis was averted and Adorable-elderly-couple was left to tend the line of strollers while I counted backwards from 300 in a corner. 
-          Only two people got into an altercation today and only one passive-aggressive call was made to the Zoo police (that’s another story). 
-          I consider the day a win.
Since I live in what shall henceforth be identified as The Weenie District, everything is IMMEDIATELY shut down if the forecast calls for anything more aggressive than “light flurries”.  The animals love this.
Love, love, love.
You want to see a happy zoo animal?  Come on by around 7am-7:30am while the zoo is empty of people and you will see multiple animals frolicking in the snow and you might catch me frolicking around my Visitor Center Habitat.  I take waaaay too many photos of the giant octopus camera because she is horrifyingly beautiful (her name is Pandora, btw), watch my beloved otters on the live cam, and clean the crap out of the place. 
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Things I’ve observed in the quiet time of the visiting season:
-          All of the animal houses are populated with rodents that hang out when the people are gone.  The houses are warm and there’s no shortage of leftovers.  The animals consider them tiny neighbors.
-          Interesting point: AZA accredited zoos cannot use poison or kill traps on pests.  They also cannot use salt on the walkways.  It’s all for zoo- animal safety.
-          The wild raccoons are way scarier than the feral deer.
-          Our accipiter population has gone way up. 
-          Our ground squirrel population has gone way down.
-          The naked mole rat cam is no longer trained on the baby naked mole rats… because the “queen” naked mole rat eats most of her babies…
-          Some parents just can’t let go of their toddlers’ lost items. 
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Leaving two messages, having your husband break in, and leaving pictures of said item on our FB page isn’t going to bring it back. 
Pro-tip: you are more attached than your toddler is. 
X-Games Pro-tip: If it’s important enough to your child that you’re going to freak out this much, take some yarn and tie said item to a bag/stroller/child, because as stated in previous posts, the Zoo police throws that sh*t away and I’m seriously not paid enough to go through the trash to find it.  That’s your husband’s job.  I hear he has skills.
I’m the only one working in the whole department today since it is a “little bit icy”.  Come say “hi” at the visitor center.  But don’t call me because I’m practicing on my Larkwire Master Birder App.  I’m planning on singing me an armful of birds by spring time.  Just call me mother-f-ing  Snow White.
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thezooreport · 10 years
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Watch clouded leopards on a live web cam at the Smithsonian Conservation Biology Institute in Front Royal, Virginia.
Ahhhh!  Kittens are expected and new cameras are installed!!!
Explosion of cute!
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thezooreport · 10 years
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IT'S A SNOW DAY! Hope those of you who have the day off are enjoying an extended Christmas break! Da Mao sure enjoys the snow, take a look at him...
Remember when I said you haven't lived until you've seen a panda roll in the snow?  Well, check this out.
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Post by The Toronto Zoo.
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thezooreport · 10 years
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Zoo Report: Badass Animals Part 2
Continuing with my series of amazing animals who cope with plunging temperatures without the benefit of electric blankets, a roaring fireplace and unlimited Netflix Streaming, I'd like to make a ode to the sparrow. 
Audubon Mag is one of my favorite Facebook feed friends.  They always have amazing photos and articles that satisfy my curiosity.  That's where I found this article on how birds make it during a "Polar Vortex".  
If I could only spy a bundle of fluffed up sparrows, my head might explode with cuteness.  Yes, puppies and kittens usually get our "cute" meters pinging, but I dare you to pass idly by a fluffy little ball of a bird and not die of cuteness.  You have to look closer because they don't beg for our attention, but when "smaller birds puff up into the shape of a little round beach ball to minimize heat loss." (Audubon Magazine), it makes the long winter walk to the train like a Where's Waldo of winter cute.  
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thezooreport · 10 years
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This might be my favorite cat.
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Posing Pallas cat by Tambako the Jaguar on Flickr.
" Oi."
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thezooreport · 10 years
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Zoo Report: Badass Animals edition. I always get phone calls about our animals fare once the temperatures dip and since I'm a zoo newbie, I usually make up a colorful answer like, "Don't worry about those Scarlett Ibis, I knitted them little sweaters last week." Or sometimes I even come clean and say "I have no clue how a Sumatran Tiger feels about 30 degree weather, but thank god for that fur coat, amirite?" Then I head to that lesser deity known as the interwebs for the daily sermon and I find things like this link about how turtles make it through arctic blasts otherwise known as Winter Storm Hercules. What did I find? Turtles are badass. Um, subzero temps and no break in the ice? No sweat, I don't need oxygen from the "air" anyways because I'm that badass. $300 winter coat from REI to survive? Puny humans, I just need myself to survive. Next time I get brave enough to hang around a frozen pond in the winter (I've been told ice fishing is actually fun), I'm totally going to look down to see if I can catch a turtle walking around under the ice. Of course now I have one more reason not to fall through the ice (ahhh! Snapping turtles are going to have a meatcicle surprise! Great, now I'm going to have nightmares.)
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thezooreport · 10 years
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Zoo Report: Christmas horrors. Everyone is trying to get into the Zoo tonight and they're all pissed that it's busy. I left a little present for the staff...
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thezooreport · 10 years
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A Predator's Gotta Do What A Predator's Gotta Do.
12.27.13
Zoo Report: I've been taking a break from the Zoo Report-ing because of sheer work exhaustion, but in the face of a vacation...
Yes!  A deer finally jumped in with the predators... and I missed it.  I ran as fast as I could to the enclosure once I got a break, but those keepers are so swift.  No visible carnage.  Next time.  Oh, and there will be a next time.  Have I mentioned that I see and spook deer EVERY DAY on my way in and out of work?
The naked mole rats had tiny, horrifying babies that I mistook for worms when I first looked at their live feed.  And they carry them around in their MOUTH!  With those awful teeth of theirs!  I am so disgusted and I can't stop watching them.  I love naked mole rats.  
If I open my eyes *really* wide, lower my voice, and say "the Komodo dragon's spit is extremely poisonous", families will literally run to the Reptile House.
If I ball my hands into little fists and shake them a bit while squealing, "the siberian tiger cubs play the *whole* time they're outside!", families will run the entire .8 miles from my front desk to the tiger exhibit to catch a glimpse.  
I happily crush dreams all day long:  many people call my phone asking if we have specific animals.  I get so many of these calls, that I usually cut them off when they get two syllables in.  Mostly because I have 2 other calls coming in and a line forming at the desk.  I'm so sorry but when you say, "Do you have any Sn..."  I know you're asking about Snowy Owls because I have Facebook too and they're all over my feed.  So, no, no snowys, but our Spectacled Owl is very exotic and our Burrowing Owls are so cute that you'll want to squish them (or at least I do).  
In the past 2 weeks I've met 3 families from South Africa who have each separately regaled me with stories of petting captive baby wild cats.  I've learned 3 things from the guests: Don't sit near the cubs unless you want a baby cheetah hug (and half your scalp chewed, bopping baby lions on the nose is the best way to discourage them from biting your flesh off, and South Africa has some pretty free and loose zoos.  
There are international visitors from many, many countries every day.  I can always count on multiple visitors from Japan and China hoping to see our Giant Pandas.  
Many people come to me to ask the correct pronunciation of our baby panda's name.  I oblige them the best I can.  Then I usually point my eyes at what is usually a large crowd of visitors from China pointing to the picture of our baby panda while saying her name multiple times and say something like, "but I'm sure my Minnesotan accent doesn't do it justice..."
Speaking of using your eyes and ears... we've started a tally of what kind of questions we get asked every day.  I officially get more people asking for the bathroom than any other question, including anything to do with a map or our exhibits.  As you enter the building there are only two options to find the bathroom: turn left or turn right.  It's a 50/50 shot.  Most of the time, when people ask me where the bathroom is, there are audible flushing, drying, and bathroom door squeaking sounds coming from the direction of the bathroom.  I when I've reached my 50th bathroom question of the morning, I usually pause, wait for a flush, point in its direction, and say, "follow the flushing sounds to the nearest commode."  
When a manager is in sight, I make theatrical Vanna White gestures.  
Nobody thinks I am as entertaining as I do.  
I haven't broken my chair spin record for most consecutive spins in a row yet (6.5), so I am going to try to go for the record for most-consecutive-spins-between-the-time-a-guest-walks-through-the-door-and-when-they-ask-me-where-the-bathroom-is.
The Zoo police continue to fascinate:  Many of our officers are former military and have more than one story to tell.  They all grow weary of people losing their children.  They are the keepers of lost-and-found in the Zoo, and I can't tell you how much they don't care about your stuff.  Word to the wise: hang on to your crap in the Zoo, or the police will throw it away for you.  More people take photographs in front of the police scooters than take pictures of the Komodo dragon.  
The Komodo dragon is not a forgiving creature.
Not one, but two ladies called about our baby panda expiring before their very eyes on the panda cam in the last couple of days, one call about the lack of flamingo cameras, two calls about unloading exotic animals, two people who wouldn't take "no touching the baby tigers" for an answer, and at least ten families who tried to break into the locked auditorium when I told them the train exhibit wasn't open until 5pm.  Crazy was out in full force this week.  
I have now perfected the art of hand-holding over the phone.  
The Asian Small Clawed Otter keepers "make it rain" lettuce leaves during feeding time.  The production the otters put on is worth the trip alone.  
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thezooreport · 10 years
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Happiness Is... A Panda In The Snow
12.7.13
Zoo Report: Yes, the Zoo-Choo-Choo is where it is at.  How do I know?  Because the young man who drives it must wear the most amazing striped conductor’s overalls and he’s soooooo mad about it. 
He, he, he...
The Sumatran Tiger and her cubs are putting on a show.  She feels you veering off to the panda, even though I’ve warned you that you will only *maybe* see the male panda, and now she and her cubs are playfully chasing each other all around their enclosure.  She feels like making you pay for it by hiding her cubs in the bushes, but she’s a true diva professional and she’s going to kill it for these tourists.  
I feel terrible for the our keeper who got bit by one of our captive wild animals today, but no, we did not and will not ever consider “putting down” an animal in our care that acts exactly like a wild animal acts.  Stop calling my phone about it. 
I’m still figuring out my city's strange relationship with the weather.  Yes, our animals are still “out” when it gets cold or rains.  Where do you think they live when they’re not in a Zoo, in cute suburban duplexes?  On that note, we have nice little climate controlled houses for each one and you can also go inside most of them while staying warm yourself on this 50 degree day.  Where are the houses on the map, you say?  Oh, see that little picture of a house?  Yep, right there.  This has been a public service announcement.
To be fair, I did see a little Scarlett Ibis chick shivering the other day.  I am going to start knitting again.  I thing little Scarlett Ibis sweaters would be adorable.  
If I had been selling hats and gloves yesterday for $10 each, I would’ve made made a mint.  
I’m keeping track of every question people ask now.  I would’ve done it anyways because that’s the kind of person I am, but someone way higher up than me has decided all info desks shall collect this info for the next 7 months.  I’m predicting I’ll have new signage that points to the Restroom after this little project (7 out of 10 visitors ask).
I think I shall go into the business of surveys:  
- 9 out of 10 kids under the age of 10 still only care about fish.  
- 5 out of 10 adults think the we have dolphins (we do not, we only have a giant mural of them... I know, confusing).  
- 10 out of 10 visitors is truly disappointed we no longer have giraffes.
- 1 out of 10 people who wander by my desk are as excited about the funny things you can see people doing in the background of the live animal cams as I am.  
I finally encountered a question I couldn’t find a snappy answer to: “Why are the penny squishing machines legal?  Isn’t that defacing government currency?”  I told the girls to call the Bureau of Engraving and Printing and report back.  
Turns out the name of our new baby panda is trademarked.  Merchandising is officially pissed.
Today it is snowing and I am that much closer to seeing a panda roll down the hill in the snow.  
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thezooreport · 10 years
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Christmas At The Zoo
11.29.13
Zoo Report: Christmas Strikes Again.
Last night was the opening night of Christmas at the Zoo (almost a decade-long tradition), that special time of year when the Zoo is lit up with thousands of LED lights and is open an extra 4 hours later for happy families to stroll through. 
Its amazing what can go wrong in 4 hours. 
My evening was happily spent indoors, out of the 30 degree weather and out of the eye of the visitor storm.  Thank the small, furry deities.
I spent my evening listening to the Guest Services channel on the walkie talkies alternately monitoring it for important notices and biting my fingernails with glee when things started getting hairy.  
It’s pretty much what I imagine the draw to owning a police scanner is all about.  
Things I’ve learned about Christmas in the Zoo:
1) The LED displays by the panda house are all blue and red (much like backstage at a show) so that the pandas “aren’t bothered during their sleeping time”.
2) It’s best to decide before opening night wether the hundreds and hundreds of cars streaming into your parking lots need tickets or not.  That was a fun argument to listed to...
3) Almost 40 people in Guest Services have radios on at all times.
4) Only one person can speak at a time.
5) Passive aggressiveness is alive and well in the city.
6) The desperation of a visitor’s need for something is directly proportional to the insignificance of said item.  
7) We need more tiny glow-stick bracelets.
8) There are only so many things you can plug in to the Zoo before things start going dark.
9) The Zoo has full-time electricians, because no one wants the electric fencing to go down (think Jurassic Park, except furrier and cuter).
10) I’m pretty sure the animal houses and fences have back ups but I don’t actually know that they do.  
11) Snowless Snow Tubing in 30 degree weather means there’s no fluffy snow or padded snow suit to catch you if you’re inevitably bounced right out of your tube.  Any Minnesotan knows this.  
12) We only sent one person away in an ambulance.
13) I am dying to know if any little hands got into the ginger bread houses and I’m still mystified as to how contestant #2 got their ginger bread tree house to stay up with frosting. Clearly, I'm not trying hard enough at this Christmas thing.  
14) A dude from Texas told me that there are a LOT of animal escapes from the Dallas Zoo.  He rolled his eyes while saying it, which is a sure sign he was telling the truth.
15) We have a giant panda mascot (a volunteer) who has a human escort so they won’t get mobbed by visitors.  They must dance in a giant snow globe every 40 minutes.  I also must get video of this.
16) There is a stretch of my evening walk (10pm) out of the Zoo that is not lit by street lights.  
17) Did you know that there is a lion around every corner when it’s dark in the Zoo?
18) There is a back gate that has been mercifully left unlocked every night so my walk home is only 1 mile instead of 2.  I can’t tell if this is a mistake or if the police suspect that some employees exit through the back gate.  
I go back tonight.  Hopefully I’ll get to leave the office.
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